www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 1 December 2014 Issue 1302 Free
BATTLE ROYALE v HUNGER GAMES Which child-led bloodbath is best? p.23
The Independent Voice of Newcastle Students
TOP OF THE GLASS HANGOVER CURE The best stained glass windows We’ve found Newcastle’s
Bike thefts spur calls for security rethink
from across the city p. 12 best fry-up p. 14
Richardson Road bike storage targeted by thieves Former Cycling Club President: bike storage “unsuitable for students serious on cycling” Uni hope to have new bike storage plans together by September 2015
By Jack Parker There has been a surge in the number of bicycles stolen from campus, as well as from student homes in Jesmond and Heaton, in recent months, with students being warned to take extra safeguards when storing their bikes. Bike thefts are a recurring issue amongst students, with high value bikes, often worth thousands, being the main target of thieves. Tristan Tinn, former Cycling Society President believes that, “secure student bike storage for club members has been a long term standing issue with the University accommodation services.” In terms of facilities, Tinn believes that: “The facilities they provide for students are adequate from cheap bikes for getting around uni - however they are unsuitable for students serious on cycling with bicycles ranging in value typically from £500 to £5,000”. Tristan believes that the lack of decent storage facilities provided by the University is to blame for a lack of uptake in cycling amongst freshers, with many
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not being able to store their bikes in their halls safely. Many halls can issue fines for storing bikes inside due to contravening health and safety regulations. Tristan also reports that recently the bike storage facilities at Richardson Road were broken into: “A number of cycles were stolen - nine I believe. A number of others were left damaged and in pieces. Included in these bikes were a couple of our club’s members.” “This is an ongoing issue with the University that I have tried to resolve a number of times. This incident highlights the problem even more with some of these damaged bikes being worth £1,000.” The University invested £95,000 in a bike storage facility under Claremont Bridge in December 2012, but this is only available for the use of staff members. Currently there are no such storage facilities on campus for students, with only bike racks being available. With student bicycles ranging in price from as little as £100 right up to as much as £5,000, students feel that they need more secure storage.
Smile for Hatti: campaign for terminally ill cheerleader raises £10,000 in two weeks and boosts blood banks A University spokesman said: “We are aware that students are keen to see more secure storage facilities on our central campus and are looking at the options available. Working with the Estate Improvement team we would envisage having plans in place for the 2015-16 academic year.” “Working with the Estate Security Service we run one or two cycle events each academic year where we disseminate guidance on best practice, issue high-vis clothing and D-locks. The next event is likely to take place in the Spring.” Figures from Northumbria Police show that there has been an increase in the number of thefts in September compared to last year, and also more thefts in the city centre between February and May of this year than last year. However, the figures for the period from January to September shows a fall in bike thefts. Between January and September of 2014, a total of 136 bicycles were stolen from the city centre, compared with the same period in 2013 when there were 195 being reported. Figures for the Jesmond and Heaton
areas of Newcastle, where the majority of students choose to live, show far greater levels of theft between January and September 2013, with 168 thefts reported. The same period this year shows a significant decrease in thefts, with 100 being reported. Students are being reminded to ensure that they do as much as they can to make sure their bikes are secure. Mo Khan, Newcastle University’s Police Neighbourhood Police Officer, reassured students that Northumbria Police will “deal with the issue” and that they “have been doing reactive and proactive work” on the issue of bike thefts on campus and the wider city itself. Khan notes that police “have increased high visibility patrols around identified crime hot spots”. “There’s definitely been a wave of thefts of pedal bikes. This is a time when we get a major hot spot of them.” As well as this, Northumbria Police have offered some advice to students on ensuring that their bikes remain safe, including using a high quality Dlock to keep their bikes safe, as well as
storing bikes in safe and well-lit areas, using bike racks wherever possible. At home, police urge bike owners to keep their bikes in their back yard, as well as their bins, to prevent thieves using them to jump over walls to steal bikes. If your bike is stolen, check Gumtree and eBay to see if your bike is for sale online and contact the police if you do see it. There have been some cases of Newcastle students’ bikes turning up on Gumtree; in one case a student purchased another students’ stolen bicycle online unknowingly. Despite recent figures showing that bike thefts are falling due to an increased police presence and police efforts, students still feel that their bikes are not completely safe, even after University schemes designed to beef up student bike safety. Third year English and History student Tria Lawrence stated, “I just don’t always trust people to not try the strength of my bike lock for a laugh, on the off chance they manage to break the lock, despite it being provided by the Uni”.
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News
Monday 1 December 2014
News Editors: Charlie Dearnley, Antonia Velikova and Kate Dewey Online News Editor: Mark Sleightholm courier.news@ncl.ac.uk | @TheCourier_News
thecourieronline.co.uk/news
NEWS
- Mark Twain
COMMENT
9 CULTURE
Haneburger
RECLAIM THE NIGHT FemSoc President on why the campaign matters
15 16 31
CONTINENTAL MARKET The best, worst, and weirdest tat and shite
In
Event raises £365 for Success 4 All
Science
I spy a little fly
According to newest research, fruit flies can soon replace sniffer dogs in airport searches. It’s believed that their biochemical sense of smell can very well inspire a new use for fruit flies - being next-generation contraband search. According to scientists in the University of Sussex, fruit flies can also pick up the scent of improvised explosive devices and contraband. Jack Dykinga
CAMPUS FASHION
Who’s looking snappy under the arches this week
HARRY POTTER
Is the PS1 game of the first book still any good?
CerTEAfied quality
Sebastian Michaelis, a master tea blender is going to have his taste buds insured by Tetley for £1 million. He is one of a small number of individuals employed as a master blender by the leading tea company. Michaelis spent nine years travelling around Africa and India visiting tea gardens before embarking on his career. He examines the tea’s colour, size, density of leaf, its sparkle, its body and its zing. Tetley’s senior brand manager Alex Snowdon stated, “Our master blenders have over 900 years of tea-tasting experience between them and taste 40,000 cups of tea every week.”
ix
YOGA AT THE SAGE
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
Business
m
4 7
Blood and transplant research lab could help thousands
e h t
Wise words:
NEW UNI FACILITIES
The Courier
Christmas
Oh, Christmas tree Residents of Micklehurst, near Manchester, have raised their voices in protest of the Christmas tree in their hometown. According to them, the sadlooking pine is “pathetic” and no match for last year’s. Although the council have claimed that they were looking to plant a sustainable Christmas tree that would last for many years to come, residents are unhappy and claim that the tree does not induce any festive spirit in their hearts whatsoever.
NUSU, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940
The Courier is a weekly newspaper produced by students, for students. It’s never too late to get involved in the paper, whether you’re a writer, illustrator or photographer. Email editor. union@ncl.ac.uk for more information.
Charlie Dearnley and Antonia Velikova
Wildlife
Squirrel rage
Travel
Wildlife
Anaconda stunt
An overly aggressive grey squirrel attacked and scratched a member of staff at Watford Infants School, and forced petrified school children to evacuate the playground and run for cover. Since the incident it has been said that the caretaker is being especially vigilant, and the squirrel has not made a second appearance. None of the children were injured by the squirrel. A spokesman for the RSPCA, Calie Rydings said: “We would urge people not to be unduly concerned by this incident, although it is important for people to remember that squirrels are wild animals and are therefore by their nature unpredictable.”
Paul Rosolie, a wildlife expert, has donned a snake-proof suit and covered himself in pigs blood with the intention of being eaten alive and regurgitated by an anaconda. This stunt is due to be aired on the programme ‘Eaten Alive’, on the Discovery Channel. A Change. org petition has received over 40,000 signatures demanding that the show is never aired. The animal rights group PETA have called Rosolie a “fool.” The petition explains that humans are not an anaconda’s natural prey, and they struggle to fit the width of a grown man’s shoulders in their bodies.
Ambuj Saxena
Nicking knickers
Hard commute
70 and more passengers on flight TU134 in the Russian province of Igarka last week, where it was so cold that they had to get out and push the plane. At temperatures of -46oC, the landing gears of the plane froze to the runway, which led to the need for the plane to be pushed along in order to get enough thrust and take off. Admittedly, airplane staff used theJason wrong lubricant, H. Smith which didn’t help the situation either. Downtowngal
Crime
Knickers and bras, hanging across a roundabout in order to promote awareness for breast cancer have been stolen in Chard, Somerset. The roundabout was in the city centre and the people involved with the charitable campaign are, understandably, very upset. 49-year-old cancer survivor Jill White, who started the campaign herself by hanging her bra on a nearby tree, said that she has informed the city council of the incident and called for whoever it was that removed the undergarments from their spot to return them as soon as possible.
Editor Tom Nicholson News Editors Charlie Dearnley, Antonia Velikova, Kate Dewey and Mark Sleightholm Comment Editors Victoria Armstrong, Matt Corden and Ruth Davis Culture Editor Kate Bennett Lifestyle Editors Tom Tibble, Annie Lord, Jack Dempsey and Holly Suttle Fashion Editors Amy O’Rourke, Hannah Fitton and Hannah Goldstein Beauty Editors Charlotte Davies, Charlotte Maxwell and Kathy Davidson Arts Editors Becka Crawshaw, Lucy Chenery and Jess Harman Film Editors David Leighton, Rosie Bellini and Lucas Fothergill Music Editors Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly and Chris Addison TV Editor Helen Daly, Ellie Mclaren and Rebecca Dooley Gaming Editors Sophie Baines and Ben Tyrer Science Editors Penny Polson, Laura Staniforth and Jack Marley Sports Editors Jonty Mawer, Peter Georgiev, Huezin Lim and Josh Nicholson Copy Editors Megan Ayres and Emma Broadhouse
Lifestyle
Test your power
An individual from the Henan province in China has lifted an 80kg pile of bricks with his testicles. He then proceeded to swing the brings back and forth 320 times in ten minutes before laying them back down to rest. His teacher has claimed that testicle lifting improves one’s quality of life
The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge. The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s comment pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.
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news.3
Monday 1 December 2014
Terminally ill cheerleader Hatti inspires blood donation drive and £10,000 boost for charities By Antonia Velikova News Editor
When diagnosed with a dreadful disease, a person’s life inevitably changes completely. It’s a hard path to walk, but when one has many friends willing to lend a helping hand, one can definitely go a very long way. This is definitely the case of Newcastle graduate and former Newcastle Angels cheerleader Hatti Sandall, who was diagnosed with terminal spindle cell sarcoma, a connective tissue cancer, in May of this year. The cancer has since spread to Hatti’s spine, leaving her paralysed from the waist down. Touched by her plight and her bravery, Hatti’s friends have taken her cause to heart. That’s how Smile for Hatti was born. Speaking to the Courier, Rachel Ward, President of the Newcastle Angels cheerleading team and a friend and former cheerleading teammate of Hatti’s, said: “There has been an incredible re-
tumour was extreme, with a skin graft, including muscle transfer, to cover the excised area,” Rachel explained. “Following on from this, the cancer has spread rapidly and Hatti has developed tumours on her armpit, neck, lungs and more seriously her spine which has left her paralysed from the waist down.” Hatti has undergone three major operations, one minor operation, two courses of radiotherapy and one combined course of chemotherapy. Unfortunately, chemotherapy didn’t turn out to be beneficial for Hatti, since, according to Rachel, it “left her feeling extremely unwell.” Shortly afterwards, Hatti was given the terminal prognosis. “Each blood donation can help up to three people, so it really is something worth doing,” Rachel said. “Hatti has asked that each person takes a photo when they’ve donated and posts it on social media, preferably Instagram, with the hashtag #IGaveBloodHats.”
sponse to the Smile for Hatti campaign since it began”. She confirmed that over £10,000 has already been raised, which will be used to fund Hatti’s treatment which she can’t receive on the NHS. “As well as this, there has been fantastic emotional support for Hatti from her friends as well as people she may not know,” Rachel added. “This is an incredibly tough time for Hatti and her family and something no one at her age should have to go through. The support from everyone will hopefully help her stay positive and ensure she knows we are all fighting for her.” The campaign in Hatti’s name organises and supports many charitable activities, not just to help Hatti in her fight with the disease but also to donate to various charities who are dedicated to battling spindle cell sarcoma, and counts Newcastle Angels cheerleaders as some of its most dedicated participants.
Even when Hatti is going through the most difficult stage in her life, she is still committed to helping others in the same situation. Her initial target for the #IGaveBloodHats campaign was 100 donors. Now that this target has been reached, the next milestone is 500. Rachel says that despite her terminal prognosis, Hatti has not given up hope: “She is undergoing alternative therapy, including 3-week course of High Dose Intravenous Vitamin C Therapy, as well as following a strict vegan diet. This is a hard time for Hatti and the Smile for Hatti campaign hopes to raise funds in order to ensure she receives the care she needs and is as comfortable as possible. The Facebook page for the campaign now has over 4,500 supporters and people are constantly posting positive messages for Hatti. Various events and campaigns have been organised in order to support Hatti’s cause, the proceedings of which will be donated to her charity of choice, Sar-
“Hatti was always a bubbly and funny member of the team, making everyone laugh,” Rachel says. “She was always fully committed to everything she did and a member of the squad that others looked up to.” According to Rachel, the lump that appeared on Hatti’s shoulder was first thought to be a cyst, “a purely cosmetic issue”. However, after the lump was removed, it grew back again, and was afterwards diagnosed as spindle cell sarcoma. Due to the amount of surgeries Hatti has had to undergo, one of the initiatives undertaken by Smile for Hatti is a blood drive under the banner of #IGaveBloodHats. “The #IGaveBloodHats hashtag was a campaign Hatti herself started in August,” Rachel explained. “Having undergone major surgeries, Hatti understands how vital blood is in order to survive and how many would not be alive if it wasn’t for the generosity of blood donors.” “Hatti’s first operation to remove the
coma UK. The Newcastle Angels cheerleaders have been particularly involved. “Many of the younger girls on the squad have never met Hatti, but following her story has encouraged many to get up and help to support her”, says Rachel. Last year we ran the Sunderland 10k in support of one of her chosen charities, Sarcoma UK and we are looking for further fundraising opportunities, including our ‘Old Girls’ Weekend’”. The ‘Old Girls’ Weekend’ will invite former members of the squad to practice cheerleading, with donations being gathered for the campaign throughout. A recent edition of Club Trop at Floritas was also held to bring in more money for Hatti. In Rachel’s words, “Hatti is a truly inspiring young woman and we will support her every step of the way. Any donation anyone can make, whether it be to the Smile for Hatti campaign or by giving blood, will help Hatti through this terrible time and put a smile on her face.”
“The support from everyone will hopefully help her stay positive and ensure she knows ZH DUH DOO À JKWLQJ IRU her”
Clockwise from above: Hatti performing with the Newcastle Angels; Hatti and her cheerleading teammates; Hannah Dawn gets involved with the blood drive; as does Ayesha Bradley. Cover image: cheer captain Niamh Borowski joins the blood-giving club. Images: Newcastle University Cheerleading Squad
Smile For Hatti: how you can help
It’s really easy to get involved with the blood drive - the donation centre on Holland Drive, behind Castle Leazes, is open Monday to Friday for both appointments and drop-ins right up until Christmas Eve. Alternatively, St. Cuthbert’s Church in Heaton will host a blood drive on Thursday 4 December between 2pm and 4pm and 4.45pm and 7pm. So too will Gosforth Civic Hall on Wednesday 3 December between the same hours. For more info or to book an appointment, go to www.blood.co.uk.
“Hatti is a truly inspiring young woman and we will support her every step of the way”
4.news
Monday 1 December 2014
The Courier
UNICEF on Campus raises funds for Syrian children and many more people wanting to get involved with the society. Social media This term has seen the arrival of a has been a huge influence in getting the new society at Newcastle University. word out about the society and anyone UNICEF on Campus is a society dedi- can keep up to date with all its events cated to raising funds to help and pro- via their Facebook page. All the money tect vulnerable children around the raised so far is going towards the Syria world. children’s appeal which seeks to help the An offshoot of the mothership UN char- children affected by the current crisis ity, more than in the Middle 30 universities “Donations provide vital East. All donaaround the UK provide clean water, food, shelter tions have set up their vital clean waown UNICEF and medicine for children ter, food, shelter on Campus so- who have been driven from and medicine cieties, but until for children this semester it WKHLU KRPHV E\ WKH À JKWLQJµ who have been was a prominent driven from gap in the repertoire of societies New- their homes by the fighting. castle has to offer. Looking towards the future UNICEF Still in its formative years the society on Campus hope to expand and get has started out small, putting on several more people involved in their society. fundraising events this semester includ- With Christmas around the corner the ing a charity pub quiz where they were charity is sporting its festive hat with an pleasantly surprised when 120 people open-mic night, ‘Sing for Syria’. There attended unexpectedly. “I’m not sure if are also plans in the works for a Christit was because of the charity fundrais- mas Carolling event outside the Union ing or just because it’s Newcastle and in mid-December where they are lookeveryone here loves pubs”, jokes Sumi- ing at getting buskers and perhaps the tra Selvaraj, president of the society. Ei- choir and acapella societies involved. ther way the event was a great success, The event promises mince pies, Christraising more than £250 for the Syria mas face painting and festive hymns. A children’s appeal. More events followed justgiving.com page will be set up for during Halloween week including a the event. horror movie night and bake sales outKeep an eye out on Facebook and side the Students’ Union, raising more around campus for more details on all than £300 combined. Most recently these events. UNICEF on Campus is a they teamed up with the University’s charity that relies solely on donations, Hindu and Sikh society for the annual and the society encourages anyone willDiwali festival ball. ing to get involved to get in contact. InThe response so far from other stu- formation can be found at: https://www. dents has been fantastically positive facebook.com/ncl.unicefoncampus with large turnouts for all the events
By Alexander Montgomery
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Uni to set up new blood and transplant research facility
able to those who need them. The Blood and Transplant Research Unit will also target improvements to In October of next year, a world-class success rates of transplants. Part of this unit for blood and transplant research research is ensuring transplanted organs will find a new home at Newcastle Uni- will function for as long as possible. versity. “The NHS and its patients rely on an In partnership with the University of efficient supply of blood and organ doCambridge, Newcastle has established nations and, increasingly, stem cells and plans in 2015 to build the research facil- genomics,” said Professor Dame Sally C ity with the help of £3.8 million award- Davies, the Chief Medical Officer and ed by the NaChief Scientific Adtional Institute for “The work of this unit viser at the DepartHealth Research of Health. will have potential to ment (NIHR). She continued: The new unit impact on thousands “We want researchwill have the poers to explore how to of patientsµ tential to help improve the quality thousands of people waiting for organ and effectiveness of these donations, donations. therapies and technologies. The NIHR Dr Lorna Williamson expressed de- Blood and Transplant Research Units light at the Department of Health and will involve NHSBT in partnerships the NIHR’s recognition of the impor- with leading university teams so that we tance of blood and transplantation re- can accelerate and translate advances in search. research into benefits for donors and NHS Blood and Transplant’s Medi- patients.” cal and Research Director said of the The unit is expected to provide high award: “This funding supports ambi- quality research to inform decision tious experimental research projects making at NHS Blood and Transplant. that will inform future clinical practice It will have two locations, one at the for services that NHS Blood and Trans- Freeman Hospital’s Institute of Transplant provides to the NHS and beyond.” plantation, part of Newcastle upon The Unit is planned to be a centre Tyne Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust, of excellence in human experimental and another at Addenbrooke’s Hospital, medicine related to organ donation. Cambridge. In support of NHS Blood and TransAndrew Fisher, Professor of Respiraplant, improving the quality of trans- tory Transplant Medicine at Newcastle plant organs before donation will be the University said: “The work of this unit focus of the new unit, as well as devel- will have potential to impact on the oping innovative technologies that will thousands of patients on the transplant make suitable donor organs more avail- waiting list by bringing new technology
By Ashley Williams
The Courier
news.5
Monday 1 December 2014
Canna believe it: lessons in Geordie to launch students and local people. “We have ESOL (English for Speakers of Other Languages) so why not GSOL? International students at Newcastle We do it in a light hearted way and peoUniversity are now being offered the ple meet and chat and learn about Newchance to learn Geordie to help them castle and the North East.” better understand the local lingo, with After a taster day that was held in Nonew classes now being offered by Inter- vember, international students can sign national Newcastle. up for GSOL classes, which start in the Geordie for Speakers of Other Lan- new year. Any students interested in atguages, or GSOL, is a programme that tending the classes can email Internawas designed by International Newcas- tional Newcastle at info@internationaltle after many internewcastle.org.uk. national students ´7KH SURJUDPPH KRSHV The programme felt that the Geordie works with local to make sure that accent and dialect student volunteers was a barrier to international students who offer their time their studies, as well IHHO DW KRPH LQ WKH FLW\µ and knowledge of as their experience the city to help inwithin Newcastle. ternational students. These volunteers There were also cases in which stu- act as their city ‘tutors’ during their time dents from within the UK also found in Newcastle, as well as helping them to the Geordie dialect challenging. Many take full advantage of what Newcastle students felt that they could not under- has to offer. The programme hopes to stand the local accent. make sure that international students The programme is designed to ease feel at home in the city and integrated non-English students into the language, into university life. to make them feel more comfortable International Newcastle are hoping during their stay in the Toon. that more local students will come forThe programme was designed in part- ward and volunteer for GSOL: “We are nership with Newcastle and Northum- also now recruiting volunteer GSOL bria Universities as well as Newcastle tutors from among local students who City Council and other local organisa- can speak a bit of Geordie but more imtions such as the Chamber of Com- portantly are interested in meeting and merce. By working together to create welcoming international students... this programme, International Newcas“If you are interested in local customs tle can deliver a programme to appeal and culture and like planning presentato as many international students as tional material, using social media and possible. so on, please also contact us.” Simon Underwood, chairman of InIf you would like to volunteer and are ternational Newcastle said: “Learning a local student you can offer your time about the local language and customs and experience by emailing Simon Unoffers a great way for us to help interna- derwood at International Newcastle on tional students to begin to meet home simon@internationalnewcastle.org.uk
By Jack Parker
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Feminists walk to Reclaim the Night for women titude remains common in Britain even today, and Churchill said: “Lots of people feel unsafe as soon as they leave the On a cold Saturday evening members house at night.” of Newcastle University’s Feminist SoShe continued: “Particularly as a stuciety (FemSoc) joined other Newcas- dent, we don’t feel safe walking home... tle feminists on the Reclaim the Night we don’t feel safe on nights out, and we march. This annual event aims to fight don’t think that’s how it should be, we against male violence towards women think it can be changed.” and highlight the right of women eveCampaigns Officer Rohan Kon added: rywhere to walk outside at night. “It’s in support of women’s right to walk FemSoc’s vice-president Becky on the street at night and feel safe.” Churchill organised their contribuUnlike the main event in London, tion to the march, including arranging men were also invited to join the march, a poster-making although the session before majority of par“The aim was to raise the march. These ticipants were awareness of the fear banners were female. used by Femsoc PDQ\ ZRPHQ IHHO ZDONLQJ The marchmembers to draw ers met at Old DORQH DW QLJKWµ further attention Eldon Square to their cause during the march. at 6pm before progressing through the The movement has its origins amidst city centre and down Northumberland the sexual revolution of the 1970s and Street. Kon said afterwards: “We were has also gained support in other coun- quite a big crowd, people were looking tries such as Germany, Canada and the at us and taking pictures.” This was the US. aim of the march – to raise awareness of The UK marches were in part a re- the fear many women feel walking alone sponse to the Yorkshire Ripper, a serial at night, and showing that something rapist and murderer in Yorkshire in the can be done about this. late 1970s. There was widespread anger The march attracted students not just when the police responded to this by from Newcastle University but also telling women not to go out at night. from Northumbria and Sunderland Churchill explained: “[The police] told Universities. They joined other commuwomen to stay inside, and that would nity groups and members of the public be the way to deal with it. The march of all ages, making the event representastarted because women said: ‘That’s not tive of a broad range of feminists. helpful, we need to go outside for our Following the march refreshments daily lives.’” were handed out and speeches given, The women who started Reclaim the providing a forum for discussion beNight wanted to fight against victim tween the various groups. blaming, feeling: “they should not be The march was described by Newcasblamed or restricted because of men’s tle University’s Feminist Society as: “a violence”. Despite their marches, this at- huge success”.
By Mark Sleightholm News Editor
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6.news
Monday 1 December 2014
The Courier
Bilingual business breaks new ground
hired a replacement ‘sister’ to continue the business. After glowing testimonials Twenty-one year old undergraduate from happy customers, she recruited six student Katy Jones has launched her more ‘Anglophone sisters’ to meet the own business and has now been short- needs of her growing client base. listed for a Grad Factor’s ‘Women in Jones has recently been nominated Business” award. Jones founded her for The Grad Factor’s ‘Women in BusiEnglish language learning and childcare ness’ Award, the UK’s first and only service upon finishing her internship in Government-backed National Student April in MontpelEnterprise Awards “If you wouldn’t invest your competition. The lier, France. “I’ve always ultimate winner own money in [your wanted to start of the competition business], it’s unlikely my own business,” will benefit from someone else will” Jones said. “Plus, the ‘biggest prize I’d do anything in student start-up to avoid working for someone else. So history’; £10,000. However, the Award when the opportunity to start My An- is important in gaining recognition for glophone Sister revealed itself I gave her enterprise’s potential: “This award it everything I had.” Aimed at French- would help me see that others believe in speaking families, My Anglophone Sis- my vision as much as I do; it would give ter couples childcare with English lan- My Anglophone Sister assurance that guage tuition. Jones’s service provides it’s on the right track.” children with an English-speaking ‘sisJones envisions a border-crossing futer’ to teach them from the comfort of ture for My Anglophone Sister, wishtheir own home. ing to continue expansion beyond all With France having one of the lowest the major student cities of France and, levels of entrepreneurial activity in Eu- “roll the concept into Spanish speaking rope due to the vast amount of restric- countries with My Anglophone Sister”. tions, Jones realised the struggle she Jones also plans to take her business would face in establishing her business. global, recognising the need for English The language barrier also proved to learning services in places such as Cenbe initially challenging. Communica- tral Africa. tion over the phone and through email Jones’s advice for budding entrepreproved to be admittedly “quite demand- neurs is to focus self-belief: “If you ing and at times stressful”. wouldn’t invest your own money in it, When these obstacles disappeared it’s unlikely someone else will.” After and My Anglophone Sister began to many hurdles, Katy Jones is now ready blossom. Choosing not to abandon her to go headfirst in the competition for clients upon her return to the UK, Jones the Award.
By Charlotte Stansfield
ANLGOPHONETICS: Katy developed her business during her year abroad in Montpellier. Image: My Anglophone Sister
The Courier
news.7
Monday 1 December 2014
Yoga society bend over backwards for charity portunities” that can aid their academic development. Using university students as mentors, the charity offers an outlet A charity event hosted by Newcastle for young people interested in a career University’s Yoga Society proved to be in education to gain experience, as well a success on Monday evening, as all 80 as an opportunity to give something tickets were sold and a total of £365 was back to the local community while at raised. university. The one-hour session included beMonday night was the Yoga Society’s ginner-level roufirst collaborative tines led by New- “It leaves you feeling like event with their castle student Flo you’ve had a work-out, but chosen charity, but McAlpine and was without pushing you too those who enjoyed held in the Baltic it will be pleased far” Centre for Conto know that they temporary Art’s River Terrace suite, offer four classes a week, featuring four which treated patrons to a panoramic different styles of yoga and with no set view of the Quayside. The gradual pace levels, so anyone can attend. Classes of the session was intended to ease first- are tailored to student life, as Lorna timers in gently, while the inclusion of comments: “time at university is often more advanced poses showcased the ac- stressful, so yoga is a nice way to uncessibility of the society’s events to yoga wind”; and at £3 per head, they’re also enthusiasts of all skill sets. suited to the student budget. Society president Lorna Hutchman First-timers David Partington and had hoped the evening would: “provide Iona Hamilton-Stubber left with a a small insight into the world of yoga positive impression and assurances that and attract people who wouldn’t other- they would now consider attending wise consider it a hobby”. regular sessions. “It leaves you feeling The potential for the occasion to raise like you’ve had a work-out, but without money for Success 4 All was also very pushing you too far” said David, whereimportant, she maintained, which, as a as Iona praised the “great atmosphere” local charity, was: “close to the heart of that the venue and the efforts of the the Yoga Society”. It’s hoped that raising Yoga Society team helped to generate. awareness of the work the charity does It’s hoped that the good vibes of the through fundraising events will encour- evening will translate into new recruits age other students to volunteer. for Success 4 All too. Several society Newcastle student and charity repre- members are leading by example on this sentative Lusiné Manukyan described front and have, in the spirit of goodwill Success 4 All’s mission as, “helping that yoga embodies, agreed to volunteer young people in deprived areas to ac- their time for charity work next semescess in-school and extra-curricular op- ter.
By Jack Marley
CHARITY SUCCESS: Newcaste Yoga Society raised £365 for their cause. Image: Zhulien Genev
SCAN market to return SHAG week cums together By Charlotte Maxwell
GREEN MARKETS: Pictures from SCAN’s previous Green Markets. Images: SCAN
By Will Ibbott This Thursday SCAN (Student Community Action Newcastle) will be returning to the Students’ Union to house their Christmas market. This is following their initial Christmas market held last year, which was a success among students and visitors alike. SCAN’s Christmas market falls under the umbrella of the “Green Market”, a series of similar events that have been held throughout the year by the organisation. Liz Gulliver, speaking on behalf of SCAN, has said that these events have been growing in size and prominence. The market held on campus last year hosted nine stalls, while the most recent Green Market held 26 stalls. True to its name, the Green Market will be drawing a focus on healthy eating and sustainable living. Organic food companies based in Newcastle and the
surrounding region will be taking their places at the market. North East Growers will be returning on Thursday to promote their “organic vegetable box scheme membership”, allowing customers to buy seasonal fruit and vegetables cheaply and on a regular basis.
“We also have stalls FDWHULQJ IRU VSHFLÀ FDOO\ for vegans and also a gluten free range” There will be a wide variety of food vendors at Thursday’s Christmas Market. Some of these include Monsieur Crepe, cooking to order, Meenah’s Thai Food and Prince of Pies. Blackfriars Restaurant will also be present, renowned for their patented BBQ pulled pork. Additionally, there will be a tea specialist, numerous gifts, jewellery and
cosmetics for sale, as well as a shop for outdoor clothing. Liz commented: “There will be lots of freshly cooked to order food - crepes, thai food, pulled pork sandwiches among some of the fare available. For those with a sweet tooth we have Ellies Cup Cakes and the Fudge Parlour. We also have stalls catering for specifically for vegans and also a gluten free range. “The Tea Shed will be serving hot speciality teas to keep us all warm and selling gift packs for the tea pot in your life. We also have a number of unique gift stalls for a little retail therapy or Christmas shopping selling cosy cushions, aprons, clocks, wall art, jewellery, scarfs, bags and more.” SCAN’S Christmas market will be split between the Student Forum area and the lawn outside the Students’ Union building. The event will take place between 10am and 4pm.
Sexual Health and Guidance week (SHAG week) has taken a different turn this year, making the point to focus on the holistic nature of sexual health, rather than just the physical act of sex and STIs. The week kicked off with STI testing in the Green Cube in the Students’ Union. This was available throughout the week, alongside information and advice on STI treatment, contraception and sexuality. A competition was initiated to see which society/club could have the most members tested with cash prizes for the top three. Monday evening saw the “Let’s Get Down to Quizness” quiz night in Mens Bar where students had the opportunity to test their knowledge of all things sexual health. The following evening was a night of potential romance and guaranteed fundraising when RAG hosted their speed dating event. The Venue was arranged for a delightful evening where love or lust could certainly blossom over fairy lights and scattered petals. The funds raised from the evening are to be donated to the Terrence Higgins Trust, whose primary aim is to prevent the spread and minimise the risk of STIs and HIV in the UK. Sexpression Newcastle provided two workshops during the week. They are
a part of a national organisation with the aim of providing comprehensive sexuality and relationships education in local schools, colleges and community groups. Sexpression’s first workshop, “Beyond the Birds and the Bees” was an open forum in which students had the opportunity to discuss consent, rape culture, pornography, sexual pleasure and a variety of other topics. Students had the opportunity to share their opinions within smaller and the wider groups and engage in debate around these different concepts. The workshop was well received and interaction was high throughout. The second workshop, “I Heart Consent”, focused on discussing the concept of consent, rape culture and victim blaming. This workshop was a pilot which provided the facilitators with an opportunity not only to test their activities, but also to recruit volunteers to lead future workshops. The week was wrapped up with an “Ask a professional” session, where students had the opportunity to engage in discussion with a sex therapist. Olivia Jeffery, Welfare and Equality Officer commented that the week had been a success and had approached students with a different perspective in mind: “This SHAG week stepped away from being focused on condoms and STIs and focused more on all aspects of sexual health, including the social and emotional sides”.
“This SHAG week stepped away from being focused on condoms and STIs”
Monday 1 December 2014
8.nationalstudentnews
The Courier
NEWSTACK
Visa refusal prevents life-saving operation Job  Title:  Customer  Service  Representative Employer:  Tesco  Bank  Closing  Date:  5/12/2014 Salary:  Competitive  Basic  job  description:  You  understand  that  customers  stay  with  companies  that  meet  their  needs  –  and  meeting  those  needs  comes  naturally  to  you.  It’s  all  about  treating  people  how  we’d  like  to  be  treated  and  making  sure  that  we  are  here  for  our  customers.  Delivering  D ¿ UVW FODVV FXVWRPHU H[SHULHQFH \RXœOO LGHQ tify  the  right  products  and  solutions  to  match  our  customer’s  requirements  on  inbound  sales  and  service  calls. Person  Requirements:  You’ll  bring  strong  FXVWRPHU VHUYLFH H[SHULHQFH ¹ SUHIHUDEO\ from  a  sales  contact  centre  background.  With  H[FHOOHQW FRPPXQLFDWLRQ VNLOOV DQG SURYHQ FXVWRPHU VHUYLFH H[SHULHQFH \RXœOO QDWXUDOO\ JR WKH H[WUD PLOH HYHU\ WLPH ,Q UHWXUQ ZH ZLOO EH DV FRPPLWWHG WR \RX DV \RX DUH WR RXU customers. Location:  Longbenton
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A Warwick student named Pulkit has been diagnosed with end-stage renal failure, a disease whereby the kidneys can no longer support your body’s needs. Pulkit’s mother, Karuna Maniktala, acquired a short-term tourist visa to come to the UK and care for him. Despite being tested and confirmed as a positive donor for Pulkit, Karuna is unable to donate a kidney to her son as she has been declined the temporary residency Visa that would have extended her stay in the UK and enabled her to undergo the operation. Until Pulkit can find a kidney donor he will continue to require extensive dialysis sessions multiple times a week in hospital. Both individuals are Indian citizens, and the Home Office has resolved that the equivalent treatment is available in India, and after taking “all the compassionate aspects� into account, they still would not grant Karuna the necessary visa. Warwick Students’ Union has begun a campaign in support of Pulkit’s case.
Housing halted by gender discrimination Five students from the University of York have been denied the opportunity to rent a property through Union Lets because of their gender. The landlord claimed that he wanted a house of only women after having past problems with mixed gender houses. Two of the five students are male, and have thus been refused tenancy. The President of the University of York Feminists, Beth Curtis, has said that, “Gender doesn’t define personality, behavior, or whether you pay the bills on time – it’s nowhere near as restricting.� Out of this situation there has also grown a concern for those students who do not conform to the gender binary. The University’s LGBTQ officer Maddie Boden has stated, “Declaring your gender as a part of obtaining housing while at University is an unnecessary request from a landlord and refusing housing on the basis of gender is a direct violation of discrimination laws on exactly this issue.�
A flood of support for free dental dams Leeds University Students’ Union has voted to provide free dental dams. Dental dams are small latex squares that are used during oral sex to prevent STIs being transmitted. The Chair of Leeds University’s LGBT Society Fran Goddard stated, “‘Now the Union will be supplying free dental dams, it means that women who have sex with women will now have a reliable form of protection from STIs and STDs. This is important to the LGBT* community in Leeds as it means that lesbian, queer and bisexual women now have the opportunity to have safe oral sex without having to repurpose a condom or not use a barrier method at all�. This motion to provide free dental dams was passed with a majority of thirteen votes to two.
Hockey team strip to fight homophobia Members of Nottingham University’s five men’s hockey teams recently stripped naked to play a filmed match to combat homophobia in sport. The video received 80,000 hits on Youtube in 24 hours. Alongside the video was a group of photographs of the team members posing, one showing them standing in the changing rooms with the message ‘No homophobia in sport’, painted across their chests. The idea was conceived by the student led ‘Voice Your Rights’ project, led by medic Dimitri Vichas, who commented, “When we asked the club if they’d be up for it, they didn’t hesitate at all.� The University of Nottingham has announced a zero tolerance approach to homophobia in sport. Piers Denning, a chemical engineering student stated, “Personally I’ve never done anything like this before but seeing the reaction to the video definitely makes me glad I agreed to strip off.�
For  more  from  The  Courier ¿ QG XV RQ )DFHERRN DQG 7ZLWWHU /thecourieronline
@CourierOnline Images: Irvin calicut, GuillaumeTell, Inga, Fanny Schertzer
Charlie Dearnley
The Courier
.9
Monday 1 December 2014
Comment
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Comment Editors: Victoria Armstrong & Matt Corden Online Comment Editor: Ruth Davis courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Comment
Feminist Society rally for street safety
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Lucy Morgan
n the 22nd of November, several members of Newcastle University Feminist Society (FemSoc) marched alongside other women and allies for Reclaim the Night Newcastle 2014. We met up with other feminist groups at Old Eldon Square where we waited for half an hour before setting off. At first, there was a lot of confusion, it didn’t seem like there were very many of us there or much in the way of organization. However, at half six the march started. We were led by the Banngshees (an all women drumming group) up Northumberland Street and towards Northumbria University. As we marched, it became clear there were more of us than we initially thought. Together we formed an unstoppable mass of people taking back the night and owning the streets. There was a comradely atmosphere, two young girls who had obviously been at school all day were delighted to come across the march and started leading the group singing songs and starting chants. The night before, FemSoc Vice-President Rebecca Churchill had arranged a poster making session with Fine Art where we made wonderful signs with statements such as ‘I Believe Her’ and ‘Take Back the Night’. There was a real feeling of community at the poster making session, yet an underlying unease - all the glitter in the world can’t mask the fact that in 2014 we are still protesting about violence towards women. Reclaim the Night marches started in the UK on 12 November 1977 by the Leeds Revolutionary
:KDW RWKHUV WKLQN “The advancements which gender equality has seen recently are undermined by the fact that the majority of women feel unsafe at night”
Ruth Davis
Feminist Group to take collective action against rape and violence towards women. It was around this time that Peter Sutcliffe, the ‘Yorkshire Ripper’, sexually attacked and murdered thirteen women. Women in the area were angered that the murder of sex workers incited barely any media attention or police response in comparison to the murder of a young female student.
In 2014 this issue is more relevant than ever: the safety of sex workers is constantly compromised or even prohibited. UK law currently states that if more than one person is available on the same premises for paid sex then it is a brothel and therefore illegal. This needlessly puts sex workers who work alone at a far greater risk of danger. Even within some strands of feminism, sex workers are
not safe: the ‘feminist’ campaign group ‘Object’ regularly abuse sex workers by picketing their workplaces and attempting to put them out of jobs. Newcastle Uni Femsoc have reiterated time and time again that we are an intersectional society meaning we are fighting for ALL women - especially sex workers. When we marched through Newcastle, we did it in remembrance of the sex workers murdered between 1975 to 1980 by Peter Sutcliffe and in solidarity with those who still face oppression and danger in 2014. We marched on behalf of the women who hold their keys between their knuckles when walking anywhere after dark, who get scared walking home alone after a night out, who have been assaulted on the streets and who are too intimidated to talk about it. We marched on behalf of the women for whom it is too late, who were murdered for the simple crime of being a woman and not being indoors. The support we received from women just going about their daily lives eating at restaurants, doing late night shopping etc was inspiring. They knew why we were marching, I reckon they knew that around about 47,000 women are raped a year, they knew that the conviction rate for rapists is only 5.3%. They probably feel a bit terrified too. Their smiles said ‘You are not alone in this’ and for one night we really didn’t feel alone. One FemSoc member carried a sign that said ‘I Cannot Believe We Still Have To Protest This Shit’ and I think that pretty much sums up my feelings towards Reclaim the Night. It’s one night a year of women’s safety when it should be every night of the year. We marched so that one day, we won’t have to anymore.
“It needs to change because I’d like to be able to walk my girlfriend home because I want to, rather than because I’m worried about her walking home alone”
“It felt brilliant to be part of such a national event, and to see such a varied crowd of ages and genders in attendance. Though the marches began 40 years ago, we still have a lot left to reclaim”
“We should not live in a world where half the population lives in fear of the other half. A sense of safety should not be a luxury that only half the population is entitled to.”
Rob Douglas
Becky Churchill
Hitler has met his match
Harry Collin Image: thierry ehrmann@Flickr
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Matt Corden
I
t might sound a bit demagogic or clichéd to compare Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi’s “Islamic State” to Hitler’s Third Reich, but all the main attributes are glaringly obvious to the historical memory. First and foremost is the obsession with the lost empire. Breaking down the borders of the Middle East to create one big Islamic Caliphate and Hitler’s vision of a pan-German empire in the spirit of “Lebensraum” aren’t entirely disparate phenomena. Endless expansion of the German speaking territories of Europe under one supreme people and leader began with many of the same expansionist delusions as the Sunni militants in 2014.
Whilst the Islamic fundamentalism of ISIS doesn’t technically promote the European Fascist ideal of a superior race, it does promote the supremacist concept of the unclean, the heretical and the profane. Consider for a moment how ISIS treats other Muslims - not just non-Muslims - who are placed in these categories, principally committing genocide against the Shia population and destroying their places of worship in the territories they conquer. Does this not ring memories of millions of Jewish citizens being herded onto trains to be sent to their deaths, not just in Germany, but also in Nazi occupied countries like Poland, Serbia or Norway? Since we’re on the subject of anti-Semitism, extreme Islam has an unnerving tendency to follow Hitler’s example on this point. Islamists of all stripes are obsessed with the Jewish conspiracy; everyone from Hamas to al-Qaeda to ISIS have
reprinted the Protocols of the Elders of Zion - a fabricated document, originally from Tsarist Russia - that supposedly confirmed the Jewish plot for world domination and subversion. For precisely the same reasons, it was also circulated by the Nazi propaganda machine under Joseph Goebbels. Like European fascism, this means that ISIS is destined to failure and defeat. It is inscribed in it’s insane and deluded nature. As long as they are fought by the strong coalition of Kurdish, Iraqi, American and European forces, they don’t have the slightest hope of surviving for the long-term, continuing to degrade the people that live under their theocratic rule the way they do. It’s true the ideas behind it probably won’t die along with the Islamic State in its current form, but history has shown that everywhere they pop up, they are eventually crushed by the societies they poison. The earlier this happens the better.
Image: Marion Doss@Flickr
10.comment
SOAP BOX
Monday 1 December 2014
The Courier
An intrusive media won’t help Phelps Media outlets show a complete lack of respect for the Olympian and his intersex ex
Image: Marco Pakoeningrat @ Flickr
UNI BUILDINGS Ah, the Daysh Building and its ugly sister Claremont Tower, clearly the pinnacle of 1970s architecture and design. The two buildings, with the charm of a soviet prison block, were quite clearly designed by a Northumbria architecture graduate with a vendetta against Newcastle for not letting them study here. Where else can you find toilet cubicles so small that the doors don’t open out properly, or staircases that have so little headroom they look as if the builders forgot to put them in until the last minute? The best one of all though is found in Claremont Tower, where a walk along a corridor will result in you coming to a mini bridge, which you must cross before you carrying on as normal. It does make you worry for the mental state of the individual who designed such a boring looking but totally wacky building. If a wrecking ball happened to be on the loose around campus, we can only hope and pray that it accidentally swings in the direction of these two carbuncles. Jack Parker
A RIPOSTE In response to ‘A Response’: Rebecca Harrison just doesn’t get “it”. Comic irony, for her, must be like the conjoining of two mysterious atoms in a boring-fucking covalent bond. And by “it”, I’m also assuming she doesn’t get the point of Kettle Chips, Gordon Ramsay or even cats. My article two weeks ago was admittedly a self-pitying semi-conscious fingering of the keyboard - but the premise made sense. I simply can’t be bothered to go through it again, but as she well knows, all articles can be found at The Courier online (also known as her cyber CV), for those editions she doesn’t shovel under her pillow. I urge her to re-read it; with her eyes, brain and without the (kettle) chip on her shoulder. I must say, at this point, I’m gratefully disproved and flattered at the quantity of my readership. Gauged from the ignorance of the previous week’s entire feature on student journalism, I reckon she just doesn’t like me and my tosspot approach to apostrophe(‘?)s. Becky, you can absolutely speak for failed journos of the future; that’s comic irony by the way. Joe Tetlow
MIKE BROWN On the 9th of August, 18 year old Mike Brown was shot six times as his hands were up after being accosted for jaywalking. An unarmed black teenager was shot and killed, and this week a grand jury decided that the white officer who did it should not face any criminal consequences for his actions. The details of the case are shocking to hear, but what’s worse is that the jury’s announcement was no surprise. As the people of Ferguson reached their hundredth day of protest and the world watched over Twitter, the American justice system once again proved that to them, black lives don’t matter. The case seems hopeless because of its banality; this is not the first time an unarmed black man has been killed without repercussion by the police, nor, it seems, will it be the last. But activists on Twitter and on the front line are pulling together and raising morale and money - a glimmer of hope in what seems to be a hopeless situation: black lives do matter. Grace Brown
Josh Nicholson
T
he press hounding of Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps in recent weeks has been shocking, discriminatory and just downright out of order. In the 21st century, where so much has been done for LGBT* equality with the recent introduction of the homosexual marriage act, everyone thought it could only get better.
“Privacy seems to be unfashionable to the mainstream media”
Michael Phelps is a swimming icon, the embodiment of Olympic spirit, shown through his hard work, dedication, talent and humility in victory. Not many athletes have that these days, and this is why it is so hard to see where the media are coming from with its somewhat homophobic reporting of the event of an ex-girlfriend Taylor Lianne Johnson being intersex, an umbrella term cover-
ing many birth anomalies which mean a person’s genitals are a combination of both male and female. Despite Johnson always having identified as a woman, some media outlets called her a man. Surely, a person is free to be whoever they want to be in modern society. Apparently not, if it sells newspapers. It is obviously not akin to the disgraceful reporting of Diana and Prince Charles, but it emphasises how privacy seems to be unfashionable to the mainstream media at the minute. We clearly live in a bloodthirsty journalistic world where people’s emotions are less important than the possibility of moneymaking. This moneymaking by the media is not only annoying and frustrating, but in many ways, it is also scary. In an age where extreme standpoints such as UKIP get airtime, this sort of sensationalist reporting can only add fuel to the flames for those willing to believe it. It is 2014, not the 1970s. Phelps may or may not have known that Johnson is intersex, and even if he did know, so what? What does it mean to anybody else? Why must we point the finger and laugh at those who are ‘different’ to us, when maybe it is not them who are the joke, but those who are open to the slandering of another. This media furore is also likely causing further
harm to a man who is already in rehab. It was S.H.A.G week around our very own Students’ Union last week, and one thing that is now becoming a much more discussed topic is the privacy and intimacy of sexuality and sexual relations, and the damage they can do. From a personal point of view, I wouldn’t want anybody talking about me, and know from past experience the detrimental effect it can have on mental health. I really feel for Michael Phelps. He should be able to celebrate his success without the struggle he currently clearly has to go through.
“We do not need this kind of immature sensationalist reporting”
Surely in 2014 we do not need this kind of immature sensationalist reporting. Surely it is time to move on from the childish ‘Hahaha, she used to be a man’ culture, and realise that there is no problem with it. Why should the idea of a person not ascribing to gender binaries bother anyone? Grow up.
Jack Goodall
The Courier
comment.11
Monday 1 December 2014
Terror measures must start with education
Theresa May’s new anti-terrorist measures have been put in place, but how effective will they actually be?
Lucy Howarth
T
heresa May recently dropped the bombshell that 40 major terrorist plots have been foiled since 7/7. Not quite as many as Spooks would have had us believe, but it is still an alarming number. I am comforted to know that we have a proficient intelligence service keeping us safe. Thanks Harry, or whoever real life Harry is.
“The threat we now face is more dangerous than ever”
These were not statistics shared merely for scare mongering purposes, but in order to introduce new terrorism laws. These laws are in reaction to reports from the intelligence and security services who have stated that the threat we now face is more dangerous than ever. Recent foiled terrorism attempts include Mumbai-style gun attacks on British streets, blowing up the London Stock Exchange, bringing down airliners and targeted mur-
ders. There are also increasing fears of ‘lone-wolf ’ style attacks, which are much harder to infiltrate, although four or five such attacks were foiled this year. “Almost all of these attacks have been prevented, but”, as May points out,“...the terrorists only have to be lucky once.” This is scary. But new measures are being put in place, including stricter rules for airlines refusing to reveal passenger details, closer observation of passengers travelling from Syria and counter-radicalisation measures in schools and colleges. While I am reassured that something is being done to protect the country, and that so much work has been going on successfully without our knowledge - I quite liked not knowing. I kind of knew it was going on but didn’t give it any thought, like League One football. Now I know, I’m scared. That was a government strategy, deliberately not causing alarm to the public (see Spooks for evidence), but now shit’s got real, and we need to know what’s going on (like when Sheffield United got relegated to League One). The world is a scary place at the moment. With growing support for UKIP, this issue creates another threat: the threat of bigotry both from the masses and now, more worryingly, from the benches in
the House of Commons. If people are not educated properly, that age old anger directed at ‘the other’, akin to football hooliganism, will resurface.
“There is a real need in society to change”
The government’s Prevent programme aims at changing behaviour and re-educating, in order to turn people against radicalisation. Chief Constable Sir Peter Fahy has said: “We need parents, schools, partners, friends and colleagues to be aware of the signs that someone is being influenced by extremist messages and have the confidence to report any concerns to the police.” While I totally agree with him on this, I also see a real need in society to match this scheme with changing behaviour of the misinformed, racist and bigoted, and destroying the nationalist radicalism they turn to. I can’t help but be concerned that we might end up with a racist witch hunt on our hands. But I suppose that’s preferable to further terrorist attacks. And the latter is more urgent. There never is a perfect solution.
What the hell is going on?
W
Matt Corden
ith the carnage of Black Friday having been imported by our transatlantic cousins, there hasn’t been a better time for hilarious videos of people fighting and shouting at each other over who saw that Panasonic first. It is funny how people can feel such a sense of achievement with sales, as if the day was well spent, when really all they’ve achieved is to piss away a lot more money than they normally would have (admittedly for some more juicy prices). I’m sure some observant shopping around during any season could get you just as much of an impressive deal, without having to reenact the Battle of Stalingrad at Tesco. David Cameron’s speech on European migration was the big news of the week though, with a heavy handed list of demands directed at fellow EU nations. They could be easily called ‘fair enough,’ but failure to work with him, he stressed, would mean he would “rule nothing out.” Was this a sly threat of withdrawal? His backbenchers are certainly hoping so, and are egging him on. It really does seem ludicrous that the British position in Europe is being almost entirely dictated by Cameron’s ongoing
“It’s funny how people can feel such a sense of achievement with sales”
Image: Michael Foran @ Flickr
feud with his back benchers. If Britain does exit the single market, the continuation of healthy trade links with Europe would still be on the condition that the EU’s rules and regulations are adhered to. Rules and regulations are what makes a single market, without it there would just be a pointless free for all. The awkward position of trying to get into the party without a ticket is a big problem for non-EU members like Norway, which Nigel Farage incidentally points to as a fine example of European statehood. Norway is still a signatory to the Schengen Agreement, that essentially scrapped inter-European borders, whereas Britain opted out. So perhaps Norway wasn’t a very good example for Eurosceptics to use.
“It’s another classic case of overblown British class controversy”
Image: European Space Agency@Flickr
The limits of free speech
Oxford Uni cancelling a debate on abortion debate runs against the spirit of free inquiry
Jacob Strauss
A
disturbingly boastful article by Oxford University student Niamh McIntyre in the Independent features this quote: ‘The idea that in a free society absolutely everything should be open to debate has a detrimental effect on marginalised groups.’ She then goes on to explain her rationale behind why a debate on abortion due to be held at the university between two male columnists, Tim Stanley and Brendan O’Reilly, was cancelled and argues that action was taken in the interests of “marginalized groups”. The university’s Student Union stated the event could not go ahead because of concerns regarding the “well being” and “mental safety” of students. A separate statement was also issued by the university’s Feminist Society, in which the two columnists were lambasted for little else other than being male and were even accused of “telling people with uteruses what to with their bodies”. Oxford University succumbing to the threats of dis-
ruption from McIntyre and a few hundred other activists may be seen as an isolated incident, but a dangerous precedent has been set that could have long lasting, negative ramifications for free speech and debate in this country. What particularly struck me about this whole palaver was not the final outcome per se, but the audacious way in which these activists sought to cowardly hide behind the idea that they were somehow protecting the “well being” of students and those in “marginalized groups” by, ironically, choosing to marginalize the debaters themselves. Equally troubling to see were the ad hominem attacks on both Stanley and O’Reilly across social media because of their gender, despite the latter being staunchly pro-choice. What this crass form of identity politics highlights is that these activists were apparently more bothered by the genitalia of the panellists than their actual points of view. Should men not be allowed a say on this issue? Whilst an all-male debate on abortion is hardly representative, neither is a no-male debate. It is critical in a healthy democracy that we all have the opportunity to voice our opinion. Personally, I don’t agree with Tim Stanley’s so called
‘pro-life’ position but does that give me, or anyone, the right to prevent his opinion from being heard? The debate on abortion is extremely contentious but this should not mean it is better for it to be avoided, even if it means people may occasionally be offended. As O’Reilly states in his article in The Spectator: “We seem to have nurtured a new generation that believes its self-esteem is more important than everyone else’s liberty.” Britain is rightly seen as a place of tolerance, free speech and open mindedness, no other institution has encapsulated these values more than its universities. But actions such as this only serve to suppress free speech, allow dogma to prevail over debate and, most importantly, make the preceding portrayal of Britain seem laughable. As a student body, it is up to us to take on the mantle of free speech through embracing debate, demonstrating tolerance where there is a dichotomy of opinion and, most importantly, by actively engaging, not censoring, the viewpoints of those who we do not agree with. That is true democracy, allowing all of our opinions to be heard; not just the parochially minded few.
European integration has also been an invaluable source of political calm and reconciliation in the post-1945 era. The overthrow of Portugal and Spain’s ancient Fascist regimes in the 1970s was incentivized by the EU’s insistence on parliamentary democracy for entrants. More recently, the “Butcher of Bosnia” Ratko Mladic was finally extradited from Serbia to be put on trial for crimes against humanity because of a condition that the European Union put forward for Serbian accession. The long over-due Serbian recognition of the territorial sovereignty of Kosovo in late 2013 was also as a direct result of the conditions for membership of the European Union. Following on from last week’s white van man tweets, another classic case of overblown British class controversy hit the headlines with Andrew Mitchell and Plebgate. Losing his court battle after the judge somehow managed to work out that he “probably did say it” (I don’t know how that works either), his political career is all but over and is around £2 million out of pocket for his expensive libel challenge. I found myself in a strange fit of sympathy with poor Andrew; an ex-policeman interviewed on Radio 4 had it about right when he said that this was a completely pointless squabble that’s taken up so much media air time and at the end of the day has only served a few lawyers a healthy wad of cash. It’d be interesting to see the reaction if this had happened at the gates of the White House rather than Downing Street. There have been various articles circulated with the specific aim of explaining Plebgate to Americans. All the talk reminds me of my earlier flirting with Socialist ideals and having long discussions about class warfare and predatory capitalism. Suddenly I find years later that the word “pleb,” especially if uttered by a snooty Tory MP, seems to be the most effective way of invigorating the nation into class consciousness. What are we like?
12.lifestyle
Monday 1 December 2014
The Courier
Lifestyle Editors: Jack Dempsey, Annie Lord, Holly Suttle & Tom Tibble
Classmate dating Elle Monaghan guides us through the perilous procedure of pulling a classmate
S
o, the time has come. You’ve decided to ask out that special someone you’ve noticed on your course, and by Jove this time you won’t be turned down. On nights out it can all be rather easy; a spot of prolonged eye-contact, some suggestive pelvic thrusts and more often than not you’ll be in there in about the time it takes to down two trebles. But when we’re all sober and our horrific awkwardness is out in the open for all to see, approaching that sexy student can be a little more daunting. However, never fear: there are several sure-fire ways to melt your target into love-struck putty.
“Pull on your best Crocs or squeeze into some really tight bike shorts”
Firstly, you need to make sure they have noticed you and that they are interested in you. Do this by checking for tell-tale signs. For example, do they speak to you only when they have to? Do they appear not to notice you? Do they often forget your name? Any of these could be a sure sign of love, so stay alert. Also, make sure you accessorise with fun, unusual stuff so that you become ingrained in their memory – pull on your best Crocs or squeeze into some really tight bike shorts to accentuate your best attributes. When your soon-to-be lover notices these aspects of your appearance, they’ll know you’re making an effort and realise that you’re clearly fun to be around and worth their time.
“Dangle the possibility of your sexy self in front of them like a worm on a hook” Next, you need to find a way to get close to them. If you’re on the same modules – perfect! As they go into the lecture theatre, sneak in between them and their friends using your elbows and jump into the seat beside them. In seminars be sure to applaud and congratulate everything they say. Try to find out when they go to the library and sit nearby – the accessory choices mentioned above will help them to recognise you as that fun person they keep seeing. Everyone likes being looked at, so make sure you stare at them for long periods of time. If they look back, hold their gaze for a few moments and then slowly avert your eye contact – dangle the possibility of your sexy self in front of them like a worm on a hook, and then flirtatiously retract it. You don’t want to look too easy.
“Start waiting for them outside their house or at their place of work to show how much you want them”
This should all be working to your advantage. If your target notices your antics and expresses their disinterest, don’t be discouraged – they’re simply testing to see if you’re really interested. Start waiting for them outside their house or at their place of work to show how much you want them, and maybe leave behind a signed photo or two of yourself. With all this tantalising teasing you will be sure to reel them in. If the police come to your house and tell you that you have a ‘restraining order’, don’t be concerned. Simply explain that you’re in love, and they’ll send you off on your merry way with a wink and a pat on the head, you sly dog.
Mrs Robinson, are you trying to seduce me? Annie Lord thinks we hardly study in the library because they’re studying (ahem) hard
I
t didn’t ever occur to me when I began university that the library was seething with sexual tension. Few look their best under the intense fluorescent lighting of the Robinson, and one would think it hard to get aroused when the tables are scattered with people noshing on Eat4Less baguettes. I used to never feel this way. I would scribble away innocently into my Pukka pad, taking notes from the Cambridge Companion series, smiling innocently at passers by. Until one day, when a friend told me something: “God, every time I sit on floor four of the library I end up nursing a semi and dragging my unsatisfied balls out of there after four hours of unproductive work”. I gestured with my face for him to explain more. “I always sit near the politics books... girls who do politics…”. His eyes lolled back into his head.
“You are one step away from approaching someone and humping their leg like a dog - go home and masturbate immediately”
contact for longer periods than if you were having sex (depending on how hard you thrust yourself into either situation), and it nears the same intensity - especially if you are talking about a subject you are passionate about. To quote a friend, “bitches love words”, and sitting in a study room listening to someone from the opposite sex talk about stuff is way hotter than some guy rubbing his penis on your back without even having introduced himself. Also, those study rooms must have been engineered for sex - why are there locks on the doors? Is anyone ever that distressed when their studying is interrupted? Once, when looking for a book in the Philosophy section, I was sharing the aisle with a boy. I can’t remember what he looked like because, let’s be honest, it didn’t really matter. I was remaining semi focused, selecting out the relevant books, until he
My first reaction was to take the moral high ground. “Maybe exercise some self restraint? You are one step away from approaching someone and humping their leg like a dog - go home and masturbate immediately”. Yet after hearing this, upon entering the library the next day, I could think of nothing else but dropping my knickers in a study room. And I’m definitely not the only one: when you walk down the aisles, clusters of eyes bob up from behind those wooden study partitions, people desperately searching for someone to distract them from the essay they should be writing. The only studying that people appear to be doing is of each others’ bodies. When you study with someone, you share eye
squeezed in front of me, pushing me back against the adjacent shelves, before disappearing down the
“I almost dropped my knickers right there and then in the study room”
staircase. Breathlessly I grabbed my books. I need to concentrate, I thought to myself. I retreated deep into the recesses of the library, the places where only those who don’t wash go, the people who don’t sleep, they just read. I sat and I tried to work, but it wasn’t long before my pen rose up from the paper, into my mouth, and I was thinking about some frustrated academic picking me up and pushing me against a wall of books.
Romantic tryst reconstructed by actors
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or a long time, I wasn’t exactly sure what a one-night stand was. Many times had I ran up to my friends boasting of magical nights spent alone, only to hear the demeaning mantra of, “Jack, that’s not a one-night stand. That’s not even sex.” Well I Googled it, and it is sex actually, so I told all those guys to go screw themselves (just as I, technically, had already been doing). Since then, I have decided that one-night stands are better when they involve another person. In this knowledge, I feel it is my duty to pass on what I have learned. Please remember to breathe and take your time reading this in order not to finish too quickly.
“The initiator leaves after having successfully preyed upon their partner’s emotional vulnerability for gratification”
First, we must ensure that we fully understand the meaning of a one-night stand. It lasts for ‘one night’, therefore if it is done in the daytime, or
the participants inadvisably have sex again in the morning, the one-night stand label is no longer applicable and it is likely that a stickily sentimental relationship has been entered into. This is ill-considered at best. I have witnessed countless men and women humiliate themselves in front of their peer group by relating stories of full and intimate days spent with intercourse-mates, often being met with contemptuous stares and absolutely ripping banter as soon as they’ve left the room. Now we come to the ‘stand’ part. Some misguided fornicators have adopted the false notion that the word ‘stand’ is simply a turn of phrase, irrelevant to the event itself. These people are just wrong. The ‘stand’ is, if anything, the most important part of the procedure. It occurs when the conquest is complete, and the sexual participant leaves the bed to walk triumphantly away. It is typically done by the initiator after having successfully preyed upon their partner’s emotional vulnerability for gratification. Now we’re done with semantics, let’s move on to the actual process. Never actively seek a one-night stand, as this will never work. Instead, you must simply believe that one will come to you. Many times have I walked down Bigg Market quietly visualising the fleshy caress of another, only to find myself with a bevy of bedmates clinging to the hem of my garment. Once this roundup is done, the se-
lection can then be made. Inquire first as to who lives the nearest in order to save on a taxi fare. Any local student accommodation is acceptable, but Gateshead is a straight up no-go, and no one-night stand is worth the voyage to Durham.
“Many times have I walked down Bigg Market quietly visualising the fleshy caress of another”
After having found and travelled back to the abode of someone within a suitable living distance, ask them in what position would they like to ‘make love’. If you use this term, it is scientifically proven that they cannot turn you down. Once the act has then been performed, and if they have not already fallen asleep from the cathartic effect of your sexual congress, explain to them your well-researched commitment issues and leave the premises immediately. Congratulations, you can now relax, give yourself on a victory pat on the genitals, and flag a cab, for you have just pulled off an exemplary onenight stand.
The Courier
.13
Monday 1 December 2014
Culture thecourieronline.co.uk/culture
Culture Editor: Kate Bennett Sections: Lifestyle, Fashion, Beauty, Arts, Music, Film, TV, Gaming and Science courier.culture@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierOnline
Blind Date
Rachel on Ed
Where did the two of you decide to meet? Eat4Less. Ed made an event on Facebook and invited me to our date through that, and I didn’t want to rock the boat so I went along with it. That’s unusual, how did you find that? Well I think it was an effort at a joke. He introduced himself as the other blind dater and hoped it hadn’t creeped me out that he made the event. It was kind of funny, I suppose. Have you ever been asked on a date like this before? No. If something like this came out of the blue I would have been horrified. So how did the meet up go? Did you actually follow the Facebook event? Yes. He was already in the queue which, at half 12, was long out the door. He shouted and waved me to join him in line and I remember wondering if this was another piss-takey kind of thing or just genuinely how he was.
Rachel Marks, 3rd Year Geography meets Ed Blackwell, 3rd Year Mechanical Engineering
Ed on Rachel
How did you arrange to meet up? I found out her name and thought it would be handy to make a Facebook event so that we were clear on the meeting place, Eat4Less, and the meeting time, half 12. How did that go down? She finally accepted after a few pokes. I haven’t used that feature in a while but it has its uses. Have you used this technique on other dates? No. On my last date I ended up paying for two three-course meals at Pitcher & Piano only to be later blown off via text on that same evening. Never again. Eat4Less was the automatic choice. How did plan to meet at Eat4Less go? Perfectly. She managed to locate Eat4Less and she was on time. So I was pretty chuffed with that. I had arrived early to secure a strong position in the queue. It was longer than I had expected though. Very far out the door. Did that make things awkward? Not at all. I waved her over to make sure she didn’t walk past me to try and find me in there but thankfully she came over and we started queueing together.
That sounds a bit awkward, was it? Yeah, a little bit to be honest. The queue at Eat4Less was so long it arced round the street and I did feel as if people might have cottoned on it was a first date when we introduced ourselves to each other.
How did you spot her so quickly? Obviously I had found her on Facebook so I studied her profile a bit. I was only limited to profile pictures but I knew I could identify her when it mattered.
Did you sit in at Eat4Less or did you take your food out? We never actually went. We were still quite far away from getting into Eat4Less when it began to rain, so I suggested we take cover in Five Swans just round the corner from it.
What did you make of her? My initial reaction was “Blimey, she really is quite hot,” but also “Blimey, she really is also quite short.”
How did that go down? Quite well, that was when the whole experience started to become worthwhile. Ed said he’d been to the Five Swans a lot in first year and got quite giddy and the awkward start of the date actually became good foil for self-deprecating jokes. He doesn’t seem take himself too seriously. That’s nice, what happened next? Did you buy food? No, we bought drinks. Spoons usually have a good selection of beers but Ed was quite keen to share a pitcher of cocktail. So that happened. What kind of things did you talk about? Connect 4. There was a selection of games in the pub and he kept going on about Connect 4 until I agreed to play with him and then conversation moved along whilst we played. It was actually quite fun. He was pretty terrible though. How long did you play for? A long time. Ed seemed intent for it to be some background activity to the conversation so we played for the full hour and a half or so that we were there for. How much did you drink in the end? Not that much but neither of us had eaten lunch so after the second pitcher I was a bit giddy and starting to have a good time. What was his best story? He had quite the portfolio. This Halloween one of his mates shit himself walking home from a night out and so dumped his fancy dress leggings in someone’s bin and walked the rest of the way home in his heavily soiled boxers. How did the date end? We had quite a few more pints and a cheeseboard in Lady Greys and then afterwards Ed walked me home and invited him inside for a cup of tea to warm himself up for his walk home. Did you find Ed attractive? Weirdly, yes. A soft spot grew for him. And he had nice large hands. Did anything romantic happen? Not particularly, he attempted to kiss me goodbye but the height difference and the fact that he had recently slipped a disk meant this all played out quite unnaturally. We did exchange numbers, but in a friendly way.
What was the first thing she said to you? Something about the Facebook event. I wasn’t sure if she found it funny for the sake of being polite but she came across really well. She was so pleasant for what can sometimes be an awkward situation. Did you feel attracted to her from the beginning? Yeah, pretty much loads. I could have been stood in that Eat4Less queue forever. That’s nice, what happened next? It rained. And because the queue was so far out the door we were in the part of the queue getting wet. But this was a blessing in disguise because it meant that we went to the Five Swans. Did you get anything to eat there? No, we just started drinking and it was all quite romantic in a kind of middle-aged, sad way. We shared a pitcher of cocktail and played Connect 4 and just generally had a mint time chatting away by the fire. Did you try anything in this romantic moment? I tried to spell out the word LOVE with the Connect 4 counters but it was difficult trying to set that up when Rachel’s moves were always so tactically related to connecting four counters in a row. Most of the time she won the game quite quickly but there were occasions where an L and the lower half of the V nearly formed. How much did you have to drink? Not much but I was fucked. I skipped breakfast and was on a course of codeine painkillers so adding alcohol to that boggled me a little but it was all good fun. If not a bit stupid. We got through two pitchers and I think Rachel was feeling it. Was she giving you any positive signs? Well she hadn’t upped it and gone. So there’s that. And she was also pretty keen to continue drinking in Lady Grey’s where we finally ate some cheese. I could have eaten a whole board to myself but I thought I’d better share the crackers at least. What kind of things did you talk about? Just general stories about childhood and uni times really. She has an odd uni nickname. All her house mates call her Skids. Rachel Skid Marks. Apparently it’s hilarious. How did the date end? I walked her home and she invited me in for a cup of tea.
Looking for love? Send in your details to c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk
How was the walk home? Euphoric. I had just pulled off a smooth number exchange manoeuvre and that set me up for a pleasant mooch home. How would you rate your date? 9, but there’s not a lot she can do about her height so this is maybe a bit harsh.
14.lifestyle
Monday 1 December 2014
The Courier
Lifestyle Editors: Jack Dempsey, Annie Lord, Holly Suttle and Tom Tibble
The pressure to pull Lauren Exell discusses the whys and wherefores of pulling on a night out
L
ad culture: the root cause of pressure to pull on a night out. Overflowing ‘banter’ and potential points if you manage to pull means it’s a social pressure most of us are familiar with. However, the question is, why? Surely people want to go out to have a hilarious night with their mates, not feel subject to social pressures of pulling, which have the capabilities of ruining people’s nights if it’s always on their mind. Of course, there is some incentive behind it – with a few units down your neck we are all subject to feeling a little more promiscuous than usual, and ideas of potentially drunken casual sex appearing more than acceptable in this student culture. However, when the reasoning behind this one-nighter is somewhat questionable, it’s clear that distorted social pressures are coaxing us into something we don’t necessarily want to do. Plus, if you’re getting with someone all night and end up going back with them, the surprise that would dawn on your potential lover when you let them know you don’t actually want to shag them is enough to make them run a mile.
“Chivvying them out the door at 8am so that you can make your 9am lecture”
More often than not the pressure we feel in ourselves to pull is down to jealousy. Indeed, if you’re feeling the need to make an ex-flame jealous, getting with someone else is undoubtedly the most effective way. However, the fact that you have no real interest in the person you’re actually getting with does slightly skew the morality of the decision. Most of us are aware of the regrettable shag, and the empty feeling you experience after you realise expectations didn’t exactly match up to reality. Awkward morning conversations as you chivvy them out the door at 8am so you can make your 9am lecture really put into perspective how these social pressures to pull are verging on unacceptable.
“Pulling is known to make people feel better about themselves”
The problem is it’s perfectly understandable why and how people succumb to these social pressures of pulling. First off, the atmosphere of the nightclub appears to lack the sexual constraints present in other social spaces, the lecture hall, for example, and the flowing of alcohol (and loss of inhibitions that comes with this) means sexual contact is inevitable. Moreover, pulling makes people feel better about themselves. Whether we’re feeling not quite so confident that evening, or feel pressure to get with someone for fear they will lose interest, in our drunken minds pulling is the way forward. However, the repercussions of making awkward contacts – particularly when everyone seems to know each other at uni – plus the fact your reputation is potentially on the line, means this isn’t always a good decision. Although these social pressures are masked by drunken antics which somehow legitimise them, overall it’s pretty clear that we should go out drinking to have a good time and not be coerced into getting with people if we don’t want to. Of course, when getting with someone is purely platonic and neither of you have an ulterior motive it’s more than acceptable, the problem is this isn’t always the case.
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ast Tuesday, exhausted and aching after the previous night’s exploits, a troupe of weary hungover students entered the emporium of deliciousness that is The Butterfly Cabinet. Situated on Heaton Road at the entrance to Jesmond Vale, this hipster haven arguably offers the most scrumptious breakfasts in the whole of Newcastle. Upon entering, diners are immediately hit by the bohemian atmosphere, with quirky paintings, prints and posters papering the walls and the café furnished by an eclectic mix of chairs and tables. When hiring the staff the main criteria seems to have been ‘cool’, with many a nose piercing and tattoo in sight.
“We perused the menu to find a variety of meat and carb-heavy options to satisfy our cravings”
crispy and the eggs were still runny in the middle, all washed down in a lake of beans. After learning my lesson with the chocolate milkshake, I opted instead for a mango iced tea, out of many different fruity options such as pear, peach and raspberry. Other friends opted for the USA, normally sausage, bacon, pancakes and hash browns, although my friend substituted the sausage for two poached eggs. She enjoyed it, although as with many Butterfly Cabinet offerings she was defeated by the portion size of the pancakes. Braver friends tackled the largest meal on the menu, a definite contestant for ‘the most calorific meal in Newcastle’ - the ‘Business Breakfast’, which consists of two rashers of bacon, two sausages, two slices of fried bread, two eggs, two slices of black pudding, two pieces
“I’ve seen many a man claiming to have a bottomless stomach defeated by this mighty breakfast”
of white pudding, a slice of potato scone, beans, mushroom, tomatoes and hash browns. I’ve seen many a man claiming to have a bottomless stomach defeated by this mighty breakfast. This week my housemate did well, conquering everything apart from the mushrooms.
All six of us were hoping for a breakfast to soak up the remnants of the previous night’s Jaegerbombs, and weren’t disappointed as we perused the menu to find a variety of meat and carb-heavy options to satisfy our cravings. The menu offers pretty much every breakfast food you could ever think of: sausage, bacon, hash browns, pancakes, granola, eggy bread, smoked salmon omelette and many more. The Butterfly Cabinet also offers lunches such as burgers and grilled sandwiches, though in my experience I have sometimes found them rather too salty and stodgy for my liking. One particularly memorable bacon burger, polished off with a chocolate milkshake and a side of potato wedges, led to a food coma so deep I spent about four hours lying on the sofa groaning and refusing to eat for the next 24 hours. This time I opted for the classic English breakfast with hash browns, sausage, bacon, egg and baked beans. It was not a mistake: the bacon was perfectly
Review: 7HD 6XWUD
Emily Chapman heads to the Instagram-friendly cafe for tea and treats
T
he chances are that you have walked straight past Tea Sutra many times. Located above Magic Box, on a side street, its questionable location sparked my curiosity, something others may have interpreted as their gut saying “I’m pretty sure we should avoid this place…”. Inside is a bohemian, Instagram-worthy chill out spot which will see your IG feed fill up with pictures of elephant shaped teapots (not for sale unfortunately - I asked), faster than you can say, “Do you just serve breakfast tea?” (my friend asked). There is an area where you can lounge on rugs, pretending to be in an exotic Bollywood movie, all in the relaxed lighting of bare, quirky-cool red and orange light bulbs suspended from the ceiling. I have taken both friends and my mother here, and there aren’t many place where you can do that and enjoy it. Or, if you’re anything like me, ignore both forms of company whilst you enjoy taking pictures of teapots. Tea Sutra offers a limited range of cakes (usually
two, it was orange chai or chocolate fudge on my first visit, and then a dubious but intriguing green hued cake the second time - pistachio. I think).
“Chances are, you’ve walked past Tea Sutra”
They also have a chiller cabinet containing cheesecake, and raw chocolates (try the chilli or the salty butterscotch). The savoury food is served from 12pm, with wraps and vegetable chilli being the hot options. This is vegetarian food done well; the hummus, spinach and roasted butternut squash wrap was my choice, and I was presented with a beautiful handmade offering, complete with extra salad as I asked them to hold the crisps. Immaculate presentation was matched by excellent flavour, with tender, sweet butternut squash being offset with a lightly garlicky hummus, all complemented by a crisp, fresh salad. Also ideal for anyone health conscious the food is advertised as nutritious and
free of artificial flavourings. But what about the tea? Well, first things first: don’t be intimidated by names reminiscent of something you may or may not have tried in Amsterdam, or at that slightly blurry house party last year. Read the descriptions and you’ll be fine. If you’re after something to relax with go for the Tibetan Lavender tea, or the Arabian Nights tea. The latter, like all the fruit teas, can be served over ice. Ordering tea here is great if only for the novelty value; each pot comes with a brewing timer for you to play with. What we all want to know is: how does it compare with Quilliams’, king of Newcastle teahouses. Tea Sutra has its own style, and although slightly pricier, makes a great change. The wraps cost £5, and I would say are worth the money - though the cake range is better at Quilliams’. The teas are also slightly more obscure, and so I’d recommend this if you’re looking to try something a little different, avoid the perpetual Quilliams’ rush, or spruce up your Instagram.
The Courier
lifestyle.15
Monday 1 December 2014
thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierLifestyle
Continental thrift Culture Editor Kate Bennett wandered down to Monument to evaluate the GL]]\LQJ KLJKV DQG FUXVKLQJ ORZV RI WKH FRQWLQHQWDO &KULVWPDV PDUNHW
How to get out of bed Jenny Cook tells us how to VWRS KLEHUQDWLQJ DQG VQDS out of our winter comas
I
t’s difficult at the best of times to resist the temptation to ignore that 7am alarm and skip your morning lectures for an extra notso-well-deserved 5 hours in bed, but in the wintertime it’s nigh-on impossible. Here are some top tips to help you get out of bed and out the door in the upcoming winter weeks.
What: Novelty woolly hats Ideal gift for: That weird cousin who talks only in grunted monosyllables at family gatherings and goes to see video game adaptations at the cinema before getting angry on messageboards about how unfaithful to the original it was.
What: Cone o’ churros Ideal gift for: Your Secret Santa recipient, when you inevitably forget that you were doing Secret Santa and have to hastily excuse yourself for ten minutes to buy the first thing that comes to hand and thus avoid making everyone hate you.
What: Waving Chinese cat Ideal gift for: Your hippy auntie who went backpacking in Goa in 1992 to ‘find herself ’ and has consequently spent the last 22 years talking about chakras while emitting a strong smell of patchouli.
What: Black spaghetti Ideal gift for: That foodie ‘uncle’ who smells like wine and touches your back inappropriately whenever you see him. The colour of the pasta subtly mirrors the colour of your mood whenever you have to be in his vicinity.
What: Russian dolls Ideal gift for: That strange great-aunt who hasn’t left her house since 1989 and probably addresses your birthday cards to your sister and your sister’s birthday cards to you. At least it’s five more faces for her to talk to, hey?
What: Fudge pizza Ideal gift for: That friend who you’re only friends with out of habit and have actually come to despise. The high levels of fat and sugar will hopefully hasten this person’s demise by inducing a massive coronary.
What: Curly hazel bush Ideal gift for: That neighbour whose garden doesn’t resemble a garden so much as one of those soulless, impeccably manicured corporate relaxation areas with paving where the grass should be and pointless ceramic balls everywhere.
What: XX-long candy cables Ideal gift for: Someone who is into both kinky sex (would make excellent BDSM restraints), and confectionary that takes them back to the golden years of their childhood. You might also want to book them an appointment with a psychoanalyst.
What: Faux-fur trimmed, child beauty pageant-style cape (also available in adult sizes) Ideal gift for: Your hideous second cousin who buys matching outfits for herself and her daughter and considers the antics on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo a legitimate lifestyle choice.
What: Vodka Red Bull fudge Ideal gift for: Your awful flatmate who gets in at four o’clock every morning and comes into your room to give you a rundown of how many girls they fingered in the toilets and tell you how “fucking wrecked” they are.
What: Kony 2012 snap band Ideal gift for: Someone who is both a) one of those people who is under the misguided impression that constantly sharing Change. org petitions on Facebook will actually change anything, and b) completely unaware of what year it is.
What: Mulled wine Ideal gift for: Yourself, after spending hours trawling the Continental Christmas market looking for unique Christmas presents and only coming up with a fucking Kony 2012 snap band and a hat that looks like a stoned Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
“Throwing the cover back can be like ripping off a plaster”
First, go cold turkey on the snooze button. It sounds drastic, I know, but when there’s no morning light to wake you up your alarm is your lifeline, and any extra time spent under the duvet will soon give way to a season of hibernation and missed lectures. Throwing the covers back is like ripping off a plaster – unwanted and extremely unpleasant, but better done quickly than allowing yourself time to think about it. To avoid the sub-zero temperature of your student room immediately freezing you solid, I recommend sleeping in a onesie. It is also essential to keep dressing gown and slippers nearby to make the transition from horizontal to vertical as warm and pain free as possible.
“The temptation to return to the cosy dreamland of 20 minutes ago will be great”
Run the shower for a minute or two before you get in, eliminating the risk of hopping around naked in the arctic bathroom waiting for the water to heat up. A swift strip and straight under the water tactic could make or break you on a cold November morning. Remember, chilblains in the shower are good: they remind you that, yes, you do have fingers and toes and once the initial pain of defrosting has worn off you’ll find once-impossible tasks such as doing up buttons much less of a hassle.
“Layering is essential and don’t rule out thermals as an option”
Now for the worst part, and probably your longest exposure to the Siberian environment that is your room in the whole getting up ordeal: getting dressed. Try not to look at your bed; the temptation to return to the cosy dreamland of 20 minutes ago will be great. It is imperative to tell yourself that such a place no longer exists, all that is left is a shell of once was, and your bed, just like everything else, has succumbed to the cold of a Newcastle winter morning. Remain focused on the task in hand. Avoid any unnecessary exposure by planning an outfit and laying it out the night before, cutting the risk of shivering in your underwear trying to make a decision, the whole time losing valuable body heat. Layering is essential, and don’t rule out thermals as an option. Unstylish, yes, but you’ll be the last one laughing when sitting among your shivering fellows in a 9am. Finally, a warm breakfast is your last defence against Mother Nature’s cruel climates. Think along the lines of porridge and tea, bearing in mind that a thermos full of hot beverage acts not only as the perfect winter warmer once in uni but also doubles up as a hot water bottle. Time to brave the Newcastle winter mornings – good luck!
16.fashion
Monday 1 December 2014
The Courier
Fashion Editors: Amy O’Rourke and Hannah Fitton Online Fashion Editor: Hannah Goldstein
‘It’ or miss? Ellen Dixon
‘It’ girls are everywhere, but what qualities will help you make the cut?
T
he definition of the ‘It Girl’ has transformed over the years. A name given to a woman who holds an often envied position in society as either a talented or charismatic public idol, a fashion icon, or simply for holding a socialite status, the ‘It Girl’ of the moment is all over the internet and ingrained into every publication during their contemporary era. So are the ‘It Girls’ of our time really fashion icons, or are they just given the title because of the hype that surrounds them? Cara Delevingne and Alexa Chung for example, are both integrally linked to the fashion world. Cara has walked and modelled for the biggest names in the industry, is often seen rubbing shoulders with the likes of Kate Moss, and has developed her own laid back enigmatic style imitated by many girls across the globe. It was inevitable that she would be a big name given the ‘It Girl’ status of her sister Poppy Delevingne, and her godmother being the legend that is Joan Collins. In this case
“So are the ‘It Girls’ of our time really fashion icons, or are they just given the title because of the hype that surrounds them?”
though, her charm and talent has spoken for her. Her look is just that, hers, and she oozes effortless London style whilst maintaining originality. The hype continues to grow, but at the centre is indisputably an ever stylish and (as is often said) a very down to earth woman. The same with Alexa Chung; an earlier ‘It Girl’ but nevertheless one that will remain one in the history of culture. I mean, she even wrote a book with the title ‘IT’. Maybe a slightly bold statement, yet one that few would argue with. She made it ok for girls to wear flats to a party, is synonymous with British style, and suggests Kurt Cobain as one of her go-to style inspirations. Brilliant. There are instances though when the hype detaches from the socialite behind it. This usually arises when an ‘It Girl’ is born from reality television then becomes a ‘fashion icon.’ A prime example is the Kardashians. They have d o n e extremely well and their clothing line is ever popular. But really, do they maintain their own style, or is the fashion lost behind the oiled up bum photos? Many women consider Kim, for example, an ‘It Girl’, and she does fit the bill. She is doing wonders for women around the world but is she a fashion icon, or a product of publicity? To me, their lines don’t add anything that hasn’t been done before, but who am I to judge one of the biggest names in the world?
Illustration by Daisy Billowes
Grown up garms
How do you go about clearing your wardrobe of all those baggy jumpers, snapbacks and ragged jeans and start dressing for post-uni life? Bethanie Hall investigates
S
itting on the Metro on my usual commute to university it’s easy to distinguish between the students and those in the rat race. I can’t help but wonder how differently the lads would look if they traded their slogan t-shirts, ripped jeans and tatty converse for a tailored suit and a pair of leather brogues. Or if, instead of moping about in their leggings and Uggs, the ladies donned a well-fitted pencil skirt and a pair of lady-like stilettos. But when should we put these teenage trends behind us? We’ve all cringed when we’ve seen that 40-something woman sifting through the mini skirts in Topshop or that bloke in the supermarket rocking his Oasis concert tshirt from 1996. But when is the cut-off ? When should we trade our skimpy skirts for floor length frocks? Should we leave the crop tops and hot pants behind us as we leave university and enter the adult world? As we get older I think it’s important to embrace fashion trends while still dressing to suit your age. But dressing like an adult doesn’t mean we have to blend in with boring grey dresses and fuddy-duddy cardigans. As young people are embracing new fashions and reinventing old ones by experimenting with what they wear, it seems like a step backwards if as soon as we leave university and start our 9 til 5s we resort to boring clothes, hanging up our characters up with our favourite tube tops. The high street is currently flooded with tailored pieces, making it easier and easier to assimilate more ‘grown-up’ pieces into your wardrobe. This gold two-piece suit from Topshop is ideal for the Christmas party season, the smart tailoring adds a sophisticated air, whilst the black cropped top worn underneath maintains that youth-
ful edge, and makes for a more interesting ensemble than the typical LBD. Topshop does it again with this pastel pink skirt and blazer co-ord, worn together you have a striking outfit perfect for those post-uni job interviews, or can be worn separately for day-to-day uni life. This burgundy blazer by Littlewoods is striking. At £62 it might be one for the Christmas list, but it is a worthwhile investment as you can wear it both day and night. These gold loafers from Topshop also tick the box; with sturdy chunky soles they hit the ‘sensible’ mark, but the gold colour keeps them funky. For most items there should be no cut off point when we are no longer allowed to wear certain clothes, but it’s about shaping those trends to suit your age.
“Dressing like an adult doesn’t mean we have to blend in with boring grey dresses and fuddy-duddy cardigans” For example, skinny jeans paired with a baggy shirt and trainers create an easy casual look for the younger generation, but swap this for a smart blouse and some killer heels and you’ve got a great evening outfit that suits women of any age. In my opinion, there is definitely a gap in the market for someone to design clothes for women that want to keep up with the latest trends but without outfit clashing with their teen daughter’s. So, when you leave uni don’t chuck out all your clothes, just maybe reconsider that sequin mini skirt for your first day in the rat race.
Snapped on campus Lottie Bovill and Rosie Butler headed out to catch the freshest looks
Petra 20 Fine art
Gabrielle 20 Fine art
Finn 20 Psychology, Buisness and german
Beth 19 English Lit
Jack 20 Mechanical Engineering
The Courier
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Monday 1 December 2014
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Are Peta fur real?
Osman for Amazon
A
A look into Osman’s latest collection with Amazon
The animal activists’ decision to give out real fur coats to the homeless this winter sounds altruistic, but could just as easily be seen as hypocrisy, says Tessa Jones
nimal rights activism group Peta have given hundreds of donated real fur coats to Liberty in London, many given by popular celebrities. This is to aid the Regent Street department store’s annual coat drive, whereby they take donated coats from collections and give them out to homeless people. With around 6,500 people living rough on the streets in the capital city alone, this is a very worthy cause and highly respectable of Liberty to try to help keep the homeless warm this winter. Equally as respectable is Peta contributing to the initiative, which started in 2013, although some questions have been raised by it.
“Animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, use for entertainment, or abuse in any way”
Peta have handed over all their reclaimed fur on the proviso that it will highlight the importance of caring for animals during the winter, and that only those in desperate need are permitted to wear real fur. However, this is quite contradictory as the strapline of their official website reads “animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, use for entertainment, or abuse in any way”, which specifically highlights their official stance against wearing animal products. In donating fur coats to the homeless, the ethical organisation is condoning them wearing it. Despite their claim that only those desperate
enough have any reason to wear fur, this could strike some as hypocritical and almost as if it’s one rule for some people and another for others. They are widely known for condemning those who wear real fur from any animal, even going as far as to throw red paint at celebrities known for wearing it, to resemble the bloodshed of the tortured and often brutally killed animals. The pain that animals are forced to endure in order to obtain their skins is in no way at all worth putting them through and, in my own personal opinion, they should not be worn by anyone. So, should Peta really be permitting anyone at all to wear real fur when they so openly condemn it as a principle of their activism? However, it could also be argued that since the coats have already been made, then they may
as well be put to good use. The coats would otherwise be destroyed, and so it could make sense to give them away to people who would very much benefit from the warmth they generate. Although, who is to say that these fur coats would not be stolen from these vulnerable people and sold on to those not in need immorally simply for profit?
“Should Peta really be permitting anyone at all to wear real fur when they so openly condemn it as a principle of their activism?“
People forced to live on the streets are 47 times more likely to be a victim of theft than the general public, making this suggestion not all that unlikely, and the fur coats could even make them more of a target due their monetary value. The pieces are not being given out as fashion statements and so that moral argument does not come in to play in this instance, but Peta are still nonetheless making it possible for fur to be worn in this day and age. There is a lot of good meaning behind this latest move, but can it still be deemed ethical and right?
A cut above the rest Ellen Dixon shows us how to wear culottes whilst braving the Newcastle freeze
Emily Pentony
A
nother high–street/designer collaboration to get you all excited about has been launched this month. Amazon has launched an exclusive capsule collection with the London based designer Osman. He is known for his architectural and sculptural designs specialising in tailored, clean lines and hand-drawn print.
“Osman describes the collection as a ‘fun take’ on his mainline collection, and his signature structured cuts and tailored detailing is evident throughout” He is fast becoming one of the most soughtafter designers with fans including Beyoncé and Gwyneth Paltrow. Osman describes the collection as a ‘fun take’ on his mainline collection, and his signature structured cuts and tailored detailing is evident throughout. All pieces are under £150, but quality has not been compromised with the majority of pieces being made in England. This special and unique collection sees two firsts for the designer, unisex pieces and jewellery. With a unisex tuxedo and knit, an LBD and a statement necklace they have clearly concentrated on quality rather than quantity. Christmas has been a clear inspiration and one of these pieces would be perfect to see you through the coming party season. Everyone needs a Christmas knit and you wont get more stylish than this one. The use of bold colour in the black dress adds a fun twist to this timeless piece and the graphic statement necklace would update any party pieces you already have. The tuxedo is a real investment buy. It would nail any smart casual look this season and the same goes for you boys.
“Some say designer collaborations are a moneymaking fix with no real quality or high fashion design, but designers aren’t trying to recreate their high fashion collections - instead, they’re branching out and making more accessible pieces”
C
ulottes, the trouser-skirt hybrid, are back for the winter season with a vengeance. But how can we take this supposedly summer trend into the cold months? Culottes are just as flesh-revealing as a midiskirt yet they act as a refreshing balance between elegance and something far more casual. Céline, Louis Vuitton and Acne are all advocates of culottes, and as a result they have been popping up throughout our high street stores. But how should they be worn without revealing a highly unattractive glimpse of blue legs covered in goosebumps? You need to at least wrap up your upper half, and keep your feet warm if you dare to
bare going into December. What better excuse to buy some new winter boots? A pair of black ankle boots are a seasonal staple anyway, but they would go perfectly with a plain or printed pair of culottes, like these versions, both from Topshop. To add style and warmth, you can’t really go wrong with a roll-neck jumper, and the high street is flooded with them this season in a variety of lengths, colours and textures. To complete the look just pop a duster coat over the top, and you’ll immediately create a look suitable for winter winds, and sipping on a Starbucks festive latte you’ll be radiating Christmas spirit. If you were going to a fancy cocktail bar or to a
meal, culottes could most definitely be a substitute for the typical skinnies, and they’d look gorgeous paired with a crop-top or a pussy-bow blouse. With the Christmas balls fast approaching, ditch the standard LBD and rock culottes instead, pair it with a metallic clutch with a thin strapped heel or a pair of mules to complete the look. As a trend, culottes evoke an image of 1960s Paris, which is bold for the streets of Newcastle. Really though, they’re just an elongated skort which of course was a huge earlier this year. If you dare, buy a pair because you’ll turn heads for all the right reasons.
I personally love the pieces in this collection but do designer collaborations ruin the concept of high fashion? Some people may say that they undermine the value and exclusivity of a designer; a money-making fix that has no real quality or high fashion design. However, high street/designer collaborations still hold a definite distinction between them and their main collection. Designers are not trying to re-create their high fashion collections but instead branch out and design more accessible pieces. They are completely different concepts and being able to create everyday, wearable pieces is what often attracts a designer to the project. As Osman commented, it gives him a ‘ great opportunity to bring what [he] does to a wider audience’. A part of me does question why we are all so obsessed with wearing the label of a designer but the great thing about the collaborations is that they bring exciting and fresh ideas to the high street. Fashion can be enjoyed at any price point and designer collaborations raise the bar for what the high street can now offer us. The high street is at the bests it’s even been, so what’s not to love?
18.beauty
Monday 1 December 2014
The Courier
Beauty Editors: Charlotte Davies and Charlotte Maxwell Online Editor: Kathy Davidson
The best of beauty Kathryn Holland gets all Christmassy and tells us about her festive preparations
A
s the winter comes ever closer it’s time to start thinking about those Christmas parties. Nothing makes me feel more ready for a party than a new manicure. Of course in the past few years my student budget hasn’t been able to stretch to such luxuries. This means investing in some new colours especially for the festive party season. Every year the beauty industry create fabulous new shades of gold, red, silver and all those other Christmassy colours ready to tempt us into the festivities. This year I had a preseason look so I could make sure you’re already to party.
“Every year the beauty industry create fabulous new shades of gold, red, silver and all those other Christmassy colours ready to tempt us into the festivities”
It’s a gold mine out there. There are two times of year when wearing gold nail varnish: when you’re lying on a beach, talons clutching a cocktail or two; and CHRISTMAS! If you have medium to dark skin go for a really deep, rich gold like the Burberry Beauty Nail Polish in Antique Gold, it screams decadence. On the other hand, Opi Nail’s Nail Lacquar in Glitzerland looks great on paler skin tones! If you want just a hint of gold Dior’s Golden Top Shock Coat looks fabulous on the tips of your nails.
“There are two times of year when wearing gold nail varnish: when you’re lying on a beach, talons clutching a cocktail or two; and CHRISTMAS”
Blue is such an underrated colour when it comes to Christmas. Blue is blacks’ friendlier, more welcoming sister ready to transport us underneath that mistletoe. Avoid light, flat blue and go for darker tones like navy, royal and cobalt. My top picks are Topshop Nail’s Blue Jeans, cobalt blue with a petrol finish that moves with the light, which goes with any skin tone. Mac Studio Nail Lacquer, Midnight Storm is fantastic for medium to dark tones and Essie’s Stroke of Brilliance works well on pale skin. Blue’s the perfect choice for that mid-week messy Christmas party, as it won’t look too out of place with your morning-after-the-night-before baggy jumper and jeans combo. This time of year the shelves are crammed with glittery nail varnishes of varying colours and sparkle. If you’re a bit shy when it comes to nail colour Nails Inc’s Diamond Arcade Polish over bare nails. If you’re feeling a bit braver try Leighton Danny’s Over the Rainbow. Once you’ve got your head around all the glitter try Chanel’s perfect Christmas colour, Sweet Star. Its Christmas bottled and made into a nail varnish.
Beauty Tip of the Week
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ry, cracked heels? Tried every single moisturiser stocked by Boots, Superdrug and Avon? All you really need is a banana. Yes, a banana. Once you’ve eaten this joyous, potassium-filled herb, don’t just get rid of the skin. Instead, rub it’s inner across your heels and any other hard, unsightly patches. After a couple of rounds, the difference will be unrecognisable.
Mr and Mrs wishlist With Christmas just around the corner we’ve come up with our ultimate guide to get you out of any present based conundrums and assist you in your seasonal shopping
His I
f your aim is to source the perfect gift for your man, there’s plenty to choose from this Christmas. Whether you’re in search of bathroom beauty tools to keep that movember experiment in check or just in search of some bath treats. It’s available all over the high street: Fenwick have some charming gift sets, with on-point presentation and if you’re on a slightly tighter budget there’s plenty on offer in Boots and Superdrug as part of their 3 for 2 offers. Many men experience the facial hair conundrums that our resident Blokey Beauty columnist Michael likes to highlight to you all. However, there is likely an equal number of men who have the opposite problem: if you’re not au fait with Michael’s quandaries, I’m referring to the potential for mass growth of hair all over the face and potentially elsewhere. Thus, buying a fancy razor that can achieve more than the standard, halfarsed shave would be the ideal Christmas gift. Panasonic offer an affordable shaver that can be used both wet and dry: two for the price of one. And of course, after that deep and meaningful moment of shaving, of a morning, a sensual application of Clinique’s post-shave soother would have your chops, happy as Christmas on the glorious morning of December 25th.
Clinique’s post-shave soother
£20
Winter Wash Men’s Gift Set £45
Kiehl’s Facial Fuel
£21
Panasonic Wet and Dry Electric Shaver
Soap and Glory’s Daily Double Gift Set
£25
£8
Hers
St Tropez Classic Lotion
£30.64
Marc Jacobs’ Daisy
£37.30
Laura Mercier Creme Brulee Body Butter
£27
T
here’s always plenty to choose from when it comes to sourcing gifts for the girls. Everywhere from Debenhams to Lush to Wilko’s has something to offer. There’s of course something for every budget and if you’re buying for someone fussy, there’s a very good chance you’ll be able to hit the nail on the head with this year’s line up. The list of a girl’s holy grail beauty products is endless. So as long as you pay attention when she’s been out on a splurge or acknowledge her staple scent, you should have an idea of what she might appreciate in her stocking this year. Marc Jacobs’ Daisy is a classic scent that has been extremely popular this year. However, if this isn’t the perfume for her, there’s always Jimmy Choo’s limited edition range- which has a tendency to churn out scents with mass appeal, for a period of around six months. Thus, get in there whilst you still can. If you’re looking for something a little smaller that will be a prized possession of her make up bag, you maybe want to consider taking on a detective role and finding out what her preferred lipstick shade is. Chances are Mac will most likely have something to suit: Ruby Woo and Viva Glam I are certainly some of Mac’s more popular shades- if you’re stumped for ideas that is.
Mac Ruby Woo lipstick
£15.50
The Courier
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Monday 1 December 2014
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Let’s get this straight: GHD Olivia Bucknall visits Y Salon to grab some champers and test the new GHD Curve range
Speediness As the hair stylists worked on my hair, they clearly showed me how simple and effective the curling wands were. In minutes my hair was transformed from dull and flat to shiny and bouncy curls, I was very impressed. In terms of everyday life I am always rushing around everywhere, yet it seems these curlers can keep up with me, they heat up in seconds. Likewise the curlers can offer me peace of mind in my disorganised moments - they go into sleep-mode after 30 minutes and a heat proof mat is included – no more panicked calls to my house mates fearing that our house will go up in flames. Angela Lowery, the Creative Director of Y Salon told me that her favourite features of the range were the ‘super long lead’ and the ‘useful plug’ which can be transformed to be used internationally. She assured me it was great that there was no stress of remembering an adaptor or trying to find a socket near a mirror when she is on the go in her busy career.
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s soon as I heard about the new GHD Curve range, I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. GHD are a well-respected brand and are reputed for providing the best hair straighteners on the market, but do their new curlers match their high-standards? I went to Y Salon for ‘An Evening with GHD’, to see first-hand if they lived up to the expectations. A lovely range of drinks and canapés were available, as well as ample opportunity to test out the new range. Beautiful music was provided by KiKi Lowe and there was also a chance to have a minimakeover. As a person with naturally frizzy and wild hair I often don’t appreciate my curled look, and resort to burning my hair every day to flatten out any trace of what it once was. Recently though, I’ve wanted to try out a new look and learn to love curls again. I think when to comes down to styling your hair everyone looks for three top features in both products and technology that they invest in: speediness; long lasting effects; and maintaining healthy hair.
Tong, Soft Curl Tong, and Creative Wand, which all create slightly different curls due to the 23 – 28mm barrels. My three top features for hair technology have all been addressed by GHD in the Curve range, these curlers are efficient, safe and are kind to your hair. For me they stand out compared to the countless other brands of curlers and will definitely be on my Christmas list.
Phoebe Bower discusses the ever-growing inking trend and making the decision to take a plunge she likens to pregnancy
Long lasting effects So we know GHD have nailed the efficiency of the curlers, but are they effective? The day after the event I was surprised that quite a lot of the curls had actually held in place, maintaining their form and shape, just a few minor adjustments were needed to recreate the look. If that isn’t long-lasting, I’m not sure what is.
Maintaining healthy hair A surprising fact about this range is that the temperature is below 200 degrees. At 185 degrees, this temperature has been scientifically proven to effectively lock-in curls, the first time around for all hair types and lengths, whilst avoiding the ‘frazzled’ look. Another exciting and original feature in the new range are the ‘Tri-Zone Ceramic Plates’, here six sensors help to maintain temperature across the barrel. The range includes the Classic Wand, Classic
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I know this great little salon Jade Holroyd visits Paul Bryan Salon in Jesmond for a luxury pamper
Last week I visited Paul Bryan’s Salon in Jesmond where I was lucky enough to receive a full afternoon of complimentary beauty treatments, including an eyebrow wax, a gel polish, and a spray tan. I spent my afternoon with the lovely Kimberley Franklin, the salon’s one and only beautician, who ensured I left the salon looking and feeling like a completely different person (literally). Located at the end of Bayswater Road, I only expected the salon to accommodate for a handful, but as soon as I arrived I realised that I had hugely underestimated the scale of things. Upon arriving at the salon I received a very cheery welcome from Kim, who showed me around the salon and talked me through my appointment to make sure I was happy with everything. The salon’s interior is extremely tasteful, with the refined decor and the open layout creating a very sophisticated vibe. Furnished equally as professional, the beauty side of things has it’s very own corridor separated from
Tattoo talk
the main body of the salon, creating a private and relaxed atmosphere. My pampering session began with an eyebrow wax – from her confidence, you could tell that Kim knew what she was doing, so I was able to simply sit back and relax. Although I normally get my brows threaded, I was really happy with the wax and I’d definitely say it was the less painful method. Next, I had a gel polish put on my nails. This was the first time I’d had a gel polish so I was full of questions, all of which Kim was more than happy to answer. I’m not really big on nail art, but thanks to Kim and my lovely new set of beautiful nails, I think I’ve developed a new addiction! Whilst I was having my nails done, Kim managed to bag me a free hair treatment with the Paul Bryan products, as well as a wash and curly blow-dry. The products did leave my hair feeling revitalized, however I wouldn’t say that it felt much different from when it has been newly washed. Finally, I had my spray tan. Kim made me feel incredibly
comfortable to say that I was wearing next to nothing and before I knew it, she’d sprayed my whole body with not a streak in sight. I know as well as anyone that it’s extremely difficult to cover the cost of beauty treatments under a student budget, but at Paul Bryan there’s always some sort of discount or offer exclusive to students for both hair and beauty. My beauty experience at Paul Bryan was first-rate and Kim certainly made my afternoon. From past experiences, I was expecting Kim to simply tell me what I wanted to hear when I asked her questions and haggle me into booking another appointment, but she did quite the opposite. Kim prides herself in her honesty when it comes to beauty queries, so if you’re looking for sincere advice, she’s definitely your go-to lady. For more information or to contact Paul Bryan salon visit http://www.paulbryansalons.com/ or call on 0191 281 7333
arlier on this month, I had thought about getting a tattoo. With a new city, a new home living away from my parents for the first time, and a new life to start, what better time to get inked? In the build up to my appointment, several questions crossed my mind. “How much does getting a tattoo hurt?”, for example. There is no straight forward answer to this. Everyone has a different pain threshold: what one considers harmless, could be devastating for another. However, the agreed upon description is “a cat scratch on sunburn”, and actually, although it depends on your design, the pain does not last that long. Not all your body is as sensitive, and where you choose to get tattooed counts; the ribs, hands and wrists and spine are where most discomfort is experienced. If you’re anxious about the pain, perhaps consider getting tattooed for the first time in a less painful area like the bottom, shoulder or thigh. When choosing a tattoo, make certain you are sure. Many people struggle with deciding what to have inked, particularly if they only plan on having one tattoo. There are a million patterns and designs available, however some people want something individual and personal. After all, is that not what getting a tattoo is all about? Often, tattooists consider their work an art form, and most professionals are happy to sketch a design if asked. So, make a consultation and describe what you want. Choosing something more common is never an issue either. It is your body after all, and if you spot a tattoo you like on somebody else, go for it. It’s the person who makes the tattoo, not the other way around. Getting a tattoo is daunting enough; you don’t need to be fretting about whether or not the creepy black shop with the shutters has a tattoo license. The best advice I can give you is to spend a little extra to get top quality. If you are looking for places, the tattoo parlour up from Newcastle Central Station is fabulous. Be sure you want one. A drunken night out or spur of the moment decision is not the best time to get a tattoo. They are for life! Give it some thought first. Don’t make the mistake of getting something that won’t appeal in a year, and do consider the whole “How will this look when I’m 80?” question. Like pregnancy, you have to experience a small period of shit, but after you’ll have something which you will cherish and be a part of you forever.
20.arts
Monday 1 December 2014
The Courier
Arts Editors: Lucy Chenery and Becka Crawshaw Online Arts Editor: Jess Harman
Review: The Producers
Perfect casting made the NUTS adaptation of the musical a hit, says Lauren Hickin
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Holly Argent tackles Art criticism through her own critique of critical judgement of the subject
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ho are the critics to listen to and the ones to ignore? A few weeks ago Torsten Lauschmann told me never to read my exhibition reviews (and I’m there thinking, ‘If I’m ever to be so lucky!’) As I’ve been writing this column for a good few weeks now and some of my writing has involved reviewing or critiquing, it threw me slightly off filter, doubting the necessity of such a position.
“To be critical of your own work and of your peers is a valuable and necessary skill throughout an artist’s career”
Are we all fools for even attempting to critique art? This is a large generalisation but the majority of art criticism is negative or trying to pick apart what is wrong or could be done ‘better’. In some ways, the education institution for the study of art, has done a great deal of good for the process of encouraging and stimulating work for its progression, but this criticality happens during the making process where it is considered and then actioned at the time. To be critical of your own work and of your peers is a valuable and necessary skill throughout an artist’s career. It is debatable how useful this criticism would be after the work has been completed and installed in an exhibition setting, at least for the artist. This then encounters other issues around who is criticism for, the artist or the art world (whatever the perimeters of that are). You can teach critique, unlike art. Of course technique can be taught but the act of making is intuitive and personal. In a way it’s strange how these two polar opposite ways of reflecting life with a projected meaning, have come to a head. That’s what makes the Letters and Comments section of journals so important. A Response promotes a continual discussion around the critics position and dialogue can only be a positive consequence if it’s to discuss and share points of view. In the words of German born artist, Jonathan Meese and his call for a dictatorship of art (YouTube him right now, you wont regret it – he is certainly one of a kind and a great breath of fresh air in this stuffy art world) ‘no-one can be a professor of art’. If this is the case, can you be a professor of art criticism and do we even need one? Not to demean the critics role as unnecessary or sub-class or even invalid to the actual art but perhaps more of a supportive and continuously reflective role could be taken on: a critic or tutor perhaps. I recognise this is a criticism of criticism through a typical form of criticism: a published written article, and I dare not sound too hypocritical, but there is certainly value in writing in its many forms. Publishing can provide a space for more thought through ideas to be disseminated, especially when it comes to contemplating art. In fact, I’d encourage readers to send in their responses to this or any other of my articles as a form of sustaining a debate (though please don’t all rush at once to slate me no matter how tempting I’m sure it is). Image: Holly Argent
he Producers is derivative, crass, inappropriate and liable to offend people of every age, race, nationality, religion and sexual orientation. I loved it. The only musical in the Newcastle University Theatre Society (NUTS) winter season, The Producers follows a washed-up Broadway producer, Max Bialystock, and weedy accountant, Leo Bloom, as they attempt to make two million dollars by producing a show that will flop. To ensure this, they find the most offensive script possible (Springtime for Hitler), the worst director in the business, Roger de Bris, and a cast including ardent neoNazi Franz as the Fuhrer. Unfortunately, the play is so offensive that it is interpreted as blistering satire and becomes a hit.
“As Ulla, the incandescent Lucy Sherratt lends substance as well as style, with a lovely singing voice and impeccable comic timing”
Considering that neither the directors nor the producer of The Producers have taken a production role before, this seems an extremely challenging choice of play, something acknowledged by director Amanda Bruce. As she and the production team point out, this piece involves a large ratio of music to dialogue for a book musical, which in turn demands gifted comic actors who can also handle substantial singing roles. The experience of the directing team, Bruce and Hannah Goring, and producer Leila Nashef, as talented performers in their own right has given them a keen sense of what
works, and an eye for the kind of details which can make a good production great or mediocre. However, the details are sound. Sets are simple and functional, including pieces crafted specifically for this production; scene changes are smooth; the choreography is unobtrusively impressive, albeit at times a little too polished, and the orchestra sounds fantastic. In such a character-driven show, the casting is vitally important. And here, the directing team have refused to fall into the trap of miscasting. As Bialystock, Ruaidhri Johnston combines immense stage presence with a flair for both laugh-a-
“Joe Shaw’s Leo Bloom is splendidly neurotic, with a real sweetness beneath the gauche surface”
minute wordplay and physical comedy. Joe Shaw’s Bloom is splendidly neurotic, with a real sweetness beneath the gauche surface. As a pair, however, they are even better than the sum of their parts. As Ulla, the incandescent Lucy Sherratt lends substance as well as style, with a lovely singing voice
and impeccable comic timing. James Howlett delivers a scene-stealing turn as flamboyant assistant Carmen, earning laughs with or without the aid of dialogue. Max Frosh’s gangly, earnest Franz finds subtleties in the show’s most overt caricature. But my favourite performance of the night was undoubtedly that of Matt McGuire as deluded director Roger. McGuire’s Roger is outrageous, but with a genuine need for validation which makes his appropriation of the starring role of Hitler inevitable. The musical numbers are consistently good, with standouts including ‘Keep it Gay’ (for the conga line alone), ‘That Face’, a pastiche of the lovers’ duet, and the standout production number, ‘Springtime for Hitler’. The Producers is not without its flaws. The balance of voices against the orchestra was intermittently lacking, and in a show with witty, gag-a-line lyrics, this can take away from numbers such as Max’s lament in Act Two, in which many of the lyrics were lost. There were some inconsistent accents too, but, all in all, the cast and crew can congratulate themselves on a job well done.
NUTS Boeing Boeing: Newcastle College
Canny Little Library: Star and Shadow
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aving seen a glimpse of Harry AtkinsonClark’s directing ability at Newcastle University’s Drama Festival in the summer, it came as no surprise that his full NUTS directing debut, Marc Camoletti’s Boeing Boeing, was a huge success.
“A small cast tackling a pacey, non-stop farce can be a tricky task, but this talented group undertook it with consummate ease”
From the moment Bernard (Jake Hodgkinson) welcomed the audience into his Parisian apartment in the arms of the sassy air hostess Gloria (Annie Niekirk), the laughs were consistent and the jokes well-executed. Hodgkinson’s portrayal of a 1960s lothario was accurate, as was the performance of his sidekick Robert (Harry Read). Marking his NUTS debut, Read was superb. His great command of the stage and impeccable comic timing accompanied an impressively consistent accent; something left to be desired by some performers, though this never threatened to detract from the overall quality of the performance. A small cast tackling a pacey, non-stop farce can be a tricky task, but this talented group of actors and actress undertook it with consummate ease. The three air hostesses zipped on and off stage in style, each bringing something different to their roles. For Gabriella (Angela Freire), it was a natural Spanish flare, while Georgia Thomas brought an impressive sultriness to German hostess Gretchen. The pace rarely lacked, and this ever-popular farce was executed with great precision. Rebecca Harrison
hen I wandered through the Stars and Shadow Cinema I kept expecting to be greeted by huge bookshelves that would signal my arrival at the library. This was not to be, however, as I was directed to a little nook near the bar crammed to the roof with books. The Canny Little Library is not a place to go if you’re not open to new things. It’s not a place to go if you’re after some light reading either. Categories include feminism, political systems, LGBT rights and more, so it’s a bit more serious than your average Waterstones.
“Categories include feminism, political systems, LGBT rights and more, so it’s a bit more serious than your average Waterstones” The librarian was incredibly helpful but it was a bit intimidating browsing the selection at first, mainly because my friend and I were the only ones there apart from cinema staff members. At first some of the subject matter seemed a bit heavy or dry for my taste, but after a while I’d found a really cool book about war reporting and my friend had found a cookbook for some amazing vegan cupcakes. The lending system is generous, where the librarian just takes your name and email and then the book is yours for a month. It’s definitely a sweet little place that I will be going back to and would heartily recommend, but be aware that it’s not a place you’re going to find the newest John Green novel. Laura Staniforth
The Courier
arts.21
Monday 1 December 2014
thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierArts
Under the covers Aeroplane Over the Sea (1998) Neutral Milk Hotel
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he cover of Neutral Milk Hotel’s album takes inspiration from a vintage picturesque postcard of happy beach goers by the sea. The original postcard was altered by artist Chris Bilheimer, replacing the girls head with the tambourine/drum/potato faced girl (the object is still under debate) creating an air of enigmatic and poignant wonderment. The cover emanates a nostalgic sepia-toned memory, generating a whimsical yet melancholic ambience while the ominous war-like boats in the background could be a slight nod to the supposedly Anne Frank-inspired album.
Junkyard (1982) The Birthday Party
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his album’s cover art is by Ed Roth and Dave Christensen and features Roth’s famous Junk Yard Kid character driving a hot rod hybrid. This CD cover art is macabre and humorous at the same time. There is tension in the image, and with each look one might see something that went unnoticed before from the Junk Yard Kid’s salivating tongue to the birthday cake he holds exuding red hot flames. It’s gruesome, yet impossible to draw your eyes away.
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“Tony Law’s performance is an amalgamation of complete absurdity”
In the first half of the show, Tony Law’s performance is an amalgamation of complete absurdity. He rapidly rolls off one-liners in his fractured highway of tangents and broken stories. The second half, however, is much more personal to Tony. The bulk of this half of the show tells a quasi lifeaffirming story about his relationship with his wife and the rites of passage experienced by his children learning about life. The collage of radiant anecdotes Tony Law rips through leave the audience in a space between furrowed brows and sore jaws, behind exulted bellylaughter. His trumpet playing may be on point, but his tomfoolery proudly play his tune of three time winner of the Chortle Comedy Awards.
Connor McDonnell
Is This It (2001) The Strokes
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his somewhat controversial cover takes a minimalist approach featuring a photo of a woman’s S&M type leather-gloveencased hand resting on her naked skin (which has been infamously associated with Spinal Tap’s Smell The Glove). It’s minimalist and monochrome with a sexually suggestive nature. The shiny leather against the smooth skin shows contrasting textures which makes it graphically stylish. Though bordering to the point of rock and roll cliché, it instead comes across as a super sleek and sexy piece of artwork.
37 Pieces of Flair: Newbridge
Montage: Art Department
rought to the NewBridge Project Space in Newcastle, 37 Pieces of Flair is a group exhibition designed to examine and explore society’s ideas and perceptions of mental health. With a large focus on video, the exhibition is both vivid and dynamic. Featured in the exhibition, John Smith’s 1986 film Om is a prime example of this. Over the course of a four-minute video, Smith uses nothing but a cloth, a razor and a cigarette to transform a man from one established stereotype to its polar opposite- a concrete reminder that too often we judge only that which we see in front of us.
ituated in the university’s art department, Montage exhibited a range of collages created by third year students. Displayed in the Long Gallery, the room seemed a little bare on first arrival. However, as I arrived closer to the pieces the empty space didn’t matter, the content of the work captured my whole attention. The first work was by Lucy Ayliffe and it was most shocking indeed. In amber and red, a print of a naked woman with her legs spread filled the page. At the bottom, a text read: “Photos for members at least 10 times larger.” This sexually explicit piece angered me, not due to the content, but by imagining who would want it larger, so I moved on.
Tony Law: The Stand ony Law didn’t even complain when his biblical facial hair was snagged in the microphone; he just carried on, in his black onesie, looking slightly like a shaman. He didn’t even tell anybody writing about the show to commence their review with that line. The surrealist ‘Viking’ strides valiantly on to stage in front of a sold out, whooping audience, wielding his trusty trumpet, which he has difficulty playing throughout the show. His ad-lib approach to comedy is scarcely seen in stand-up, but Tony’s constant onstage referral to his notebook make his self-awareness comical in itself. ‘Cut that one out the show’ he shouts to an enigmatic being in the direction he is pointing, ‘that didn’t go down too well’.
Beth Evans looks at the artwork on her three favourite album covers
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“These pieces are designed to provoke emotion; the best way to explore society’s differing attitudes towards mental health is to discuss them”
Other pieces included David Foggo’s Throwaway Series - a collection of emotionally-charged nouns such as ‘woe’ and ‘misery’ painted onto boomerangs and Graham Dolphing’s 1000 Questions a somewhat overwhelming stream of intrusive interrogatives, played on a loop throughout the evening. Perhaps one of the best things about the exhibition is its perplexing ambiguity and openness to interpretation. On overhearing the chatter of others within the exhibition, I was surprised how drastically their interpretations of the same art works differed. Only one thing is for certain: these pieces are designed to provoke emotion and get people talking- a poignant reminder, perhaps, that the best way to explore society’s differing attitudes towards mental health is to discuss them. Emily Jeffrey
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“The empty space didn’t matter; the content captured my whole attention”
One of the pieces which really stood out for me was a series of three images by Katy Ball. These images, mysterious due to the use of shadow, were artistically created by cutting up images in curved strips and superimposing them on top of each other and rearranging the features of the woman’s face. The effect on the face was dreamlike and illusionistic. Ellie Smith’s piece, another favourite, covered a large section of the wall. Each A5 collage had a cream background with images cleverly arranged. The dead space around the cut outs of animals, children, everyday objects and more, reminded me of the work of Randy Groskovic, a well known collage artist. The TIC Space, the second, darker room of the exhibition was home to three videos. The strongest of the three, for me, was a video which consisted of twisted see-through string being filmed in a pure, zoomed in fashion by Katherine Starcewski; it was contemplative and calming. Lucy Chenery
Accessible arts
Jennifer Hopps offers an alternative to nights out on the toon with her art-related list of to-do’s
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on’t deny it – one of the pros of applying to Newcastle University was definitely the nightlife. As much as we protested it was not the reason to our parents, it was the allure of trebles bars and the extensive number of clubs which really brought us here. However, after the first term of each year, going out five times a week and being constantly hungover and skint begins to lose its charm and the exhaustion catches up with you. Next term, why don’t you try visiting some of the local arts venues as an alternative to a drunken night out? Alcohol can still be involved of course, but you can wear a coat and stay warm and spend time with your friends in a place where you can actually hear each other speak. Sound good? Here are my top three accessible arts alternatives to the classic night out.
“Next term, why don’t you try visiting some of the local arts venues as an alternative to a drunken night out?”
Firstly, spend a night at the Theatre Royal. I know going to the theatre is usually only something you consider when your parents are around to pay for you, but there are many ways to make it cheaper. Firstly, the Theatre Royal does student discount on most of its shows. Sometimes, it is incredibly reduced – you can see the Royal Shakespeare Company performances for just £5. If the performances do not have student discount, don’t worry, you don’t have to rule it out. If you ring up or go in less than two hours before the performance starts, the tickets are going at half price. You can get a really good seat for £10-£15 and spend what you saved at the Theatre Royal bar… The Hyena Comedy Club is another great way to spend your evening. It’s located just off Percy Street and has a late-licence, so the drinks and the merriment will keep flowing all night. There is live comedy every Friday and Saturday night and it also has live music performances – it’s available for hire if you are a budding band seeking gig venues. Doors open at 7:00pm and close at 8:00pm.
“You certainly don’t need to get pissed to have fun”
Last, but certainly not least, is Tyneside Cinema. Once again they are fully licensed, so alcohol can still be a part of your evening! But there is so much going on here that you certainly don’t need to get pissed to have fun. As well as showing the standard Hollywood blockbusters, it also shows independent art films if you’re after something a bit more ‘cultured’ and even streams live performances of theatre, opera and ballet from around the world. They also have art exhibitions throughout the year. So there you have it: my top three alternatives to the standard Newcastle night out. All accessible, all arty, and none of them will break the bank.
22.artsfeature
Monday 1 December 2014
The Courier
Through the looking glass Lucy Chenery and Becka Crawshaw explored Newcastle to discover the beautiful art of stained glass
St. Nicholas T Cathedral
he significance of stained-glass making hasn’t changed much since the 12th Century. Its importance in churches, cathedrals and monuments has remained throughout the centuries, essential in maintaining the religious and spiritual aspects of the buildings. Ornate and decorative, these beautiful examples of window-architecture resonate the often pious meanings behind the images, inviting us to interpret them in whatever way we feel necessary.
Cathedral Church of St. Mary
The Bodega
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t. Nicholas’ Cathedral is situated in St. Nicholas’ Square and is an aesthetic delight. Filled with beautiful panes of stained glass in its interior, the cathedral retains the Medieval style of its architecture. A stained glass roundel of the Virgin Mary and her infant Jesus is at its centre, drawing our eyes up and around the entirety of the window. Without these extremely delicate and intricate additions to the building, the cathedral would be devoid of all light and the spiritual atmosphere would be absent. Other stained panels depict familiar northern Saints, scenes from the life of Christ and symbols of St Nicholas himself.
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n 125 Westgate Road, The Bodega - a real ale pub - can be found. Unusual in its decoration, the building is full of simplistic yet beautiful stained glass windows. With a dark streetexterior, no one would imagine that the inside of the building would be so light and elaborately decorated. Indeed, the concept of ‘stained glass’ has been manipulated over the years and can now be seen in buildings of no religious quality, as it is here in the social sphere of a lively pub. Other examples include stained-glass lamp shades, door-stoppers, photo frames and house decorations.
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he Cathedral Church of St. Mary is a catholic cathedral found on Clayton Street in West Newcastle. Again, the building is occupied by magnificent glass artwork. The stained glass has a more sketchy, illustrative quality in this cathedral in comparison to St. Nicholas’. The images here depict not only religious iconography but also more commoplace objects and individuals such as pottery, working men, a blast furnace, light bulbs and the Tyne bridge. It is certainly more harmonious to Newcastle as a city cathedral. The atmosphere is calming, peaceful and pious and despite its active images, there is an overall sense of serenity.
The Courier
filmfeature.23
Monday 1 December 2014
East vs West: who kills kids best? With the release of Mockingjay: Mockingjay: Part 1, Rosie Bellini & David David Leighton pit the poster child The Hunger Games (2012) in a dark and dirty brawl against Japanese phenomenon Battle Royale (2000). Both are dys- topian, futuristic fantasies fea- turing child warfare with iconic protagonists and violent deaths;; but who does it better? There’s RQH ZD\ WR ¿ QG RXW FIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHTT
Battle Royale Shuya Nanahara makes an interesting protagonist for this kiddy-killer of a film possessing a tragic past from being placed in an orphanage after his father committed suicide and his mother abandoned him. You’d think this would cripple anyone but Shuya somehow takes this in his stride and remains trusting of other people and despises violence. Although a refreshing change from the typical hyper-masculine hero, his need to help others as much as possible means he does fall victim to the cliché ‘hero syndrome’. Katniss could probably make a meal out of this guy when it came down to crunch time. IKEA Knightley
Hammy
Dame Judi Hench Acting Scale
Unfortunately where BR falls down hard is in its strange need to show all 21 boys and 21 girls at some point in their struggle to survive which means that its two hour running time is stretched too thin and essential character development of the main side characters is unfortunately sidelined. In order to avoid having teenagers merely running away, crying and generally not participating which would be hella-boring (sounds bad but it’s true), you need a couple of baddies to cause a few blood baths. Kazuo, the resident sociopath who actively transferred into class 3-B just to get a chance of killing his classmates is unfortunately rendered a mute big bad and ‘final girl’ Mitsuko is a shadow of her manga self. Battle Royale is set in the future where an authoritarian Japanese government, the ‘Republic of Greater East Asia’, rules over its citizens with police state intensity. This setting maintained such a bold political message that members of parliament deemed it “inappropriate and crude” for even daring to make a potential parallel to present day Japan. With an exceptional depiction of the dangers of ‘youth culture’ potentially spinning out of control, the selection of school children to participate in such brutality makes perfect sense within this context. It’s for these reasons that this film wins in this category.
Battle Royale is a masterpiece in the sense that it challenged what could or couldn’t be shown to the Japanese public by challenging the strict guidelines of Japan’s National Diet and helping fuel the revolution against heavy censorship of media material. Although children committing acts of murder had already been shown on films previously, the notion of having children no older than fifteen being forced to murder other children - with some actually revelling in this situation - to participate in a game under the guise of a ‘military experiment’ was simply unheard of. By giving this concept the gratuitous violence it required to properly depict an idea so depraved, it certainly set the bar of originality high.
The Hunger Games Katniss is, for starters, a heroine. This is both rare and exciting, she’s ballsy, deep, interesting, tough and practical. Not only does she navigate a difficult ‘love triangle’ (sigh) but she also negotiates the tough political atmosphere surrounding her status as Mockingjay. Sod all that Romeo nonsense, Katniss will put an arrow in your nether region if you so much as glance at her sister. For both her originality, and her subversion of what we typically expect in a female character - Katniss wins the character bout. All hail J-Law.
Main character Acting skills Supporting characters Setting & plot
Originality
IKEA Knightley
Whammy Dame Judi Hench Acting Scale The Hunger Games has excellent supporting characters; the tough-lough gruff Haymitch is played brilliantly by Woody Harrelson and Effie’s character development through the series is a surprising treat I expected would be overlooked in the films - it was not, I was pleased. However, where The Hunger Games does let itself down is the love triangle. Whether you hail Gale or wanna meet a Peeta it really doesn’t matter - they are both flat, one directional and frankly, boring characters. Peeta, especially, can hurry up and have his head lopped off for falling over so many bloody times. Sod off Peeta. Point for Battle Royale.
Collins appeared to have jumped on the ‘en-vogue’ postapocalyptic-dystopian-government-setting bandwagon (Divergent, City of Ember) with no real explanation of how North America had ended up as Panem - a barren wasteland ruled over by the Capitol. There’s a couple of hints of natural disasters in the books; storms, droughts and uprisings against the *insert generically cruel and oppressive government here* but none of this filters through to the film leaving hints towards the ‘Dark Days’ both confusing and sloppy. We still have no real answer to why they specifically select children to fight in the arena either, it just sort of … er … happens and everyone goes along with it for the lulz. Kudos has to be given to Lionsgate for finally selecting to produce a heroine-centric film that redefined the role of women in action films by brutally deconstructing the ‘damsel in distress/moral compass/hot chick’ trope. However this is tainted by a seemingly time-aged trope of a love-triangle between two uninteresting love interests. Not only this but it’s extremely hard to believe Suzanne Collin’s claims that Battle Royale had “no influence on her work” whatsoever, especially when you consider the massive, multinational cult following Battle Royale produced eight years earlier. If you’re going to nab elements of someone else’s work; that’s only cool if you credit the original author; see Guermillo del Toro’s Pacific Rim and Neon Genesis Evangelion for how it’s done.
24.filmfeatures features
Monday 1 December 2014
The Courier
Film  Editors:  Rosie  Rosie  Bellini  &  David  Leighton Online  Editor:  Lucas  Lucas  Fothergill
The  good,  the  bad  &  the  jubblies
Pleasure            Island
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The  Matrix:    Reloaded
ilm franchises are often an easy target for abuse. Often the first film is such a hit, that the studios invariably decide to milk the audience’s attention for all it’s worth (cough cough, Transformers, cough). Sequels can often feel under-thought and underwhelming, and this is particularly the case when the original is a massive hit, both commercially and critically. Take The Matrix franchise for instance. In 1999, the Wachowski brothers put out a movie with an emphasis on philosophical questions and duster coats. The Matrix is a brilliant film that has become ingrained into our pop culture psyche. Its premise is simple, elegant and yet mind-boggling: what if reality as we know it, is just a simulation – “A way to keep us all under controlâ€?. In the first film ‘Neo’ (Keanu Reeves), a computer hacker, learns the truth about the world and becomes involved in a battle to free humans from this dream-like state created by machines. The sequel, The Matrix: Reloaded continues the story of Neo’s fight against the machines. Sadly it is considered a dud compared to its exceptional predecessor. It’s time to right those wrongs and prove why this film stands up to the original. Many have argued that The Matrix Reloaded is too long and complex. The first film had a simple premise, a tight plot and was well executed. However, Reloaded does an admirable job of continuing the storyline of the original rather than re-hashing the original plot. This alternate world that the Wachowskis created needed fleshing out beyond the first film’s narrow scope and Reloaded manages to do this without losing the audience’s attention. Other critics may point out the preachy talkiness of Reloaded but I think that you have to take that with a pinch of salt as you do with The Matrix. Let’s compliment the Wachowskis on having the balls to try and add some meaning and philosophy to their work rather than just having two hours of Neo flying and kicking some machine arse. Furthermore, let’s not forget those action sequences. Wow! In The Matrix we got a hearty dose of kungfu and slo-mo fight scenes, but Reloaded takes it to a different level. Some of the scenes are jawdropping, particularly the thrilling chase scene on the motorway. When Reloaded gets going, it really does hit the heights of its predecessor. It is an entertaining popcorn flick that deserves another watch. By no means is it perfect or indeed equal to The Matrix. But it does stand as a worthy complimentary piece to one of the best films of the past 20 years. The less said about The Matrix Revolutions, however, the better‌ Harry Musson
)RU IDU WRR ORQJ +ROO\ZRRG KDV VHUYHG XS À DW OLIHOHVV IHPDOH UROHV WKDW H[LVW RQO\ WR ¿ OO D VZLPVXLW Elle  Monaghan  investigates  this  misogynist  bullshit
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inema has undergone a variety of transformations over the past few years. We’ve seen films in 3D, films with astonishingly realistic graphics, films that retell the stories we’ve grown up with and films that seamlessly transfer us to great historical moments. But there’s one area of cinema that seems to still be struggling, and that is the almost constant sexualisation of female roles.
“Females between the ages of 13 and 20 are as likely to be sexualised as females between 21 and 39�
A recent study by UN Women has challenged this recurring trope, arguing that the film industry still grossly under-represents women both on screen and off. The statistics the study has shown are pretty shocking – for example only 30.9% of all speaking characters are women, girls and women are twice as likely as boys and men to be shown in sexually revealing clothing or partially or fully naked, and teen females between the ages of 13 and 20 are just as likely to be sexualised as females between 21 and 39. Not only is the hyper-sexualisation of women still a regular occurrence in cinema, but the roles they inhabit are too often passive, side-lined stereotypical tropes. In almost every superhero
film released in the past few years, women either act as seductresses, love interests or damsels in distress – The Dark Knight Rises, The Amazing Spiderman 2, Man of Steel are just a few examples. The only superhero movies centering on a female protagonist of recent years seem to be Elektra and Catwoman, which both hyper-sexualise their characters extensively. When women do make their way into an action-based movie, their main trait appears to be their sexuality. Constantly the camera follows them in significantly different ways than their male counterparts – consider the presentation of female characters in The Avengers, Avatar, Wolf of Wall Street and Star Trek Into Darkness. Of course, men are sexualised to an extent in cinema too – who can forget the passionate-angry shower scene that often pops up in movies, or the constant zooming in on muscles and stone-chiselled jawlines. But it seems that this kind of camera work is used to show a character’s physical power or convey their inner turmoil, while scenes that show women in a sexual manner are often more provocative and draw attention to the character’s vulnerability or sexual positioning in relation to their surroundings rather than their asser-
tiveness. It is this difference in presentation that consistently places women in more passive roles in popular films – consider Skyfall, which despite being a modern take on the James Bond classic themes still failed to shake off these features. According to the UN’s research, the scarcity of well-written female characters in films is due to the lack of female film-makers in the industry – they observed that out of a group of 1,452 film-mak-
“Girls and women are twice as likely as boys and men to be shown in sexually revealing clothing, or partially or fully naked�
ers with an identifiable gender, only 20.5% were women while 79.5% were men. Critics argue that this under-representation of women in film could be “creating and perpetuating our unconscious biases� in other areas, too (says Geena Davis), furthering the distance we still have to go before we reach gender equality in our physical societies. Still, we shouldn’t ignore the progress the film industry has made in the past couple of years. Films such as The Hunger Games, Evil Dead (2013) and Bridesmaids have offered audiences more varied female characters in challenging and exciting situations, while Disney and Pixar have stepped up to the plate with Frozen and Brave, both of which portray women exploring relationships outside of romantic love. There are even rumours of a Wonder Woman film coming out in 2016. With any luck, her characterisation won’t be constructed entirely from her boobs.
Drive:  An  ode  to  Zane  Lowe
The  BBC  &  Zane  Lowe  recently  aired  Drive,  with  a  re-Âscore  of   its  now-Âiconic,  massively  well-Âreceived  soundtrack.  Connor  McDonnell  discusses  the  Beeb’s  bold  move
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n the 30th October, BBC Three showed ephemeral. Other tracks from the rescore are just with the synthpop idealisation that Martinez conNicolas Winding Refn’s 2011 neo-noir aurally offensive, such as Bring Me The Horizon’s veys in the original. crime drama Drive,, with Zane Lowe’s shouty, dubstep effort ‘Don’t Look When a soundtrack becomes as iconic as the stylrescore of the soundtrack. It has subsequently Down’. However, praise where ish film that it accompanies, it sits on an independbeen a contentious issue on lips of fans of Emit is due for Chvrches, Jon ent pedestal, basking in sacred glory. At least, that pire’s favourite film of 2011. Hopkins and Baauer whose is until an international media juggernaut such as In the BBC Radio 1 interview with Zane work does successfully flirt the BBC, and their resident radio DJ Zane Lowe, Lowe, Nicolas Winding Refn himself modcome along and pull down Cliff Martinez’s almost estly stated that “You can’t own creativity: you perfect collation of music, to produce their own can exchange creativity, you can steal creativsoundtrack. There must be a question about how ity, you can emulate creativityâ€?, which is very much the rescoring idea is down to portrayal of much a debatable, post-modern philosophy. immense power, both of the BBC and of Zane But Zane Lowe, brazenly brandishing his artisLowe, with his extensive list of contacts. Watching tic license in our faces, has expelled the music ‘The Making of Radio 1 Rescores: Drive’ you can selected by Refn and Martinez’s synth-laden colsee how little input DJ Zane Lowe actually has to laboration, merely making a cheap copy of the muthe artistic output of the product. He sits on a sofa sic from the original film score. Even the original and watches the playback of music against the film, score was compiled to be an imitation of synthpop sporadically making comments like, “Aw man, she that originated in the 80s, therefore Zane Lowe’s has killed itâ€?. rescore is effectively an imitation of an imitaAs surprising at it may seem, Drive is an indetion, which is probably the measliest excuse pendent film, with a mere (well‌) $15 million for ‘creativity’ there is. Let’s leave out budget, as opposed to Gosling’s other 2011 the Jean Baudrillard stuff, though. film Crazy, Stupid, Love, Love budgeted at $50 Converse to Refn’s modesty, million. By imposing such powerful meZane Lowe, defending the dia forces, such as the BBC, on to the rescore idea against attacks, artistic integrity of independent film it stated that “It’s really, rewill be tarnished; when something is ally goodâ€?. Obviously independent, it should remain indeLowe has to defend his pendent. It is almost like removing “But Zane Lowe, brazenly precious, 18-month long Gosling’s scorpion-embroidered brandishing his artistic license in our project, which he has quilted jacket and putting him in worked on with the likes a Vivienne Westwood three-piece. faces, has expelled the music selected of Bastille, CHVRCHES, Lowe could be said to be one of BANKS and The 1975 the most prolific men in the muby the Refn and Martinez synth-laden (to name a few), but it’s sic industry, especially with the collaboration, merely making a cheap certainly not ‘really, really BBC behind him. However, he good’. Some songs barely should remain in the realm of copy of the music from the original have playtime, with Foals’ music and not sully the relationfi lm scoreâ€? ‘Howl (Supermoon)’ ship between music-film and the being disappointingly art of cinematic scoring.
The Courier
reviewsfilm.25
Monday 1 December 2014
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“I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.” - Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones (2002)
The Imitation Game (12A)
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f you haven’t seen a poster or trailer for The Imitation Game, I can only wonder where you’ve been for the past couple of months. Benedict Cumberbatch takes the lead as Alan Turing, a code breaker in World War Two who cracked the Nazis’ Enigma code - helping lead the Allies to victory - but who was later arrested for his homosexuality. The hype behind this film has been extensive, with trailers doing the rounds months in advance of the film. Previews have suggested that The Imitation Game is the hugely popular Cumberbatch’s crowning glory and that it is the ‘role of a lifetime’ for him. With the Oscar buzz running wild for months before the release of The Imitation Game, it was becoming extremely difficult for me not to get my hopes built up for the film. It’s very safe to say that the hype was justified; The Imitation Game did not disappoint. The tragic narrative of Alan Turing was both well-paced and filled with enough enigmas that it aptly fit with the overall theme of the film. From the immersive opening, where Turing calls us to pay very close attention so we don’t miss a thing, we are drawn into the story. At the beginning of the film, Turing himself is an enigma; sitting opposite Charles Dance’s Lieutenant in an interview situation, Turing is obviously ‘different’. That ‘difference’ is part of the charm however, as
by the end of the film, Turing’s sweet and loveable nature comes in bounds. Yes, he’s arrogant and yes, he’s a know it all, but the charm of the film comes from breaking down your perceptions of Turing. That is of course helped along by the incredible performance put in by Cumberbatch throughout. It’s easy to see now why the Oscar buzz has already been going strong for The Imitation Game considering the moving portrayal of Turing by the Sherlock actor. Playing another genius, it’s a role that Benedict clearly enjoys. He can not only reel off incredibly complex speeches with ease, but also conveys the psychological effects of being ‘different’ convincingly. One of the strengths of the film was the sheer amount of talent that featured. Keira Knightley plays the tough Joan, who proves to be more intelligent than Turing at points by showing a human side to Turing’s machine-like persona. Rory Kinnear’s bumbling but threatening Detective Nock was outdone in the interrogation scene by Turing’s
Re-View
The Drop (15)
Who Framed Roger Rabbit (PG)
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y first, and until yesterday last, encounter with Who Framed Roger Rabbit came at the age of seven, in the basement of a grotty pub in Ireland, where all the kids had been deposited while their parents got pissed upstairs. Some well-meaning member of the pub’s staff had stuck on a video of Who Framed Roger Rabbit to keep us all entertained. (For ‘entertained’, read, ‘scarred’.) Who Framed Roger Rabbit is emphatically not a childrens’ film. People get shot in the back. Roger Rabbit’s boobalicious wife, Jessica Rabbit, wouldn’t be out of place in a cartoon version of Sin City. The villain, Judge Doom, is essentially the Demon Headmaster meets Van Helsing, lowering cartoon characters into vats of chemicals that melt them down into garishly-coloured oil slicks - and that’s before he’s been run over by a steamroller and resurrected as a kind of flattened, rubbery Slenderman who flops about the place like a pissed inner tube. As an impressionable seven-year-old girl, this shit gave me nightmares. The basic premise of the film is that downbeat alcoholic private detective Eddie Valiant (Bob Hoskins, God rest his soul) has to help Roger Rabbit prove he hasn’t murdered the owner of ACME Corporation. As a youngster, I never appreciated how much of an annoying little twat Roger Rabbit is. I would’ve fucking thrown him under a tram, but Bob Hoskins was clearly a much more patient person than me. Watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit as an adult is a far more rewarding experience, if only because I actually understood what was going on. There are some decent jokes among all the 1940s gangster clichés and casual sexism, Bob Hoskins does a surprisingly good American accent, and the interaction between the cartoons and the live-action cast is brilliantly done. It’s no Oscar-bait, but it’s a diverting enough couple of hours. More like this: Pleasureville (1998) Kate Bennett
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om Hardy, an adorable puppy, amusingly awkward humour and an old-fashioned climatic ending; what more could you ask for? The Drop is a prime example of how one film can masterfully blend different genres into a thrilling, but surprisingly hilarious, crime film. Set in Brooklyn, The Drop tells the story of Bob Saginowski (Tom Hardy), a local bartender who finds himself at the centre of trouble as an investigation digs deep into his past and that of his cousin, Marv (the late James Gandolfini). There is nothing new about this crime drama, but it rises above the rest through its neatly and hilariously written script, as well as its powerhouse performances. What also elevates this film to another level is a superb performance by Tom Hardy, as he once again shows us why he is one of the greatest actors working today. This quirky performance of his displays his acting diversity while delivering another convincing accent. This time, it’s a Brooklyn accent (sorry, Bane). His performance is only strengthened by the supporting cast, especially the on screen chemistry with the late, great James Gandolfini. Playing a similar character to previous roles, Gandolfini gives a memorable last show of his superb talent. He displays his flawless ability to command the screen at all times. While mostly positive, I did find that certain supporting characters seemed clunky and unnecessary, making it at times, overly convoluted. This wasn’t too much of a concern though as The Drop is smartly written with great dialogue that creates and builds tension through its main characters. With thrilling twists that will surprise most people it is definitely a must watch although, anyone who’s watched enough suspense films may be able to detect a few. Regardless of this the tension created was certainly worthwhile. More like this: Gone Baby Gone (2007) Joshua Morris
intelligence. It was hard not to be moved by Alan recounting his story to Nock in order to prove that he is not a criminal, for the narrow-minded Detective to dismiss all of Turing’s achievements and just see the ‘criminal’ in front of him. The Imitation Game is a triumph. It does what the best biopics do: it shows you a fair representation of a flawed character. Turing has his moments that aren’t pretty (a heart-rending scene involving his colleague’s brother, immediately after they’ve cracked the code). But by the end of the film, you liked him anyway, because you realised he wasn’t a machine. Turing became the message of the film: “Sometimes it is the people no one imagines anything of, who do the things that no one can imagine.” More like this: Enigma (2001) Helen Daly
The Madness of King George (15)
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yneside Cinema and Northumbria University, as part of the Being Human Festival, hosted a showing of the oscar winning film The Madness of King George and a Q&A session with Dr. Leigh Wetherall Dickson, an expert on the cultural constructions of “madness” in the 18th Century and the Romantic period. The film, directed by Nicholas Hynter, is an adaptation of Alan Bennett’s play, and is set in late 18th century Britain. It depicts King George III’s declining mental health and the struggles of the royal court and Parliament to cure the king and run the country in his absence. This film goes beyond our preconceptions of the monarchy and strips down the events to portray a man’s struggle to control his own mind. Not only is it relatable but it gives a deeper understanding of the stigma that mentally ill people carried and how it affected the society at the time. It was a delight to hear Dr Leigh Wetherall discussing the background history for this film and the key themes she believed where present throughout it: conformity, loyalty and humanity. Her Q&A session, although brief, allowed the audience to better understand not only the premises of the story but how, actually, a lot of the themes discussed are easily comparable to our outlook on 21st century mental illnesses. Although they are somewhat less stigmatised, it was made clear we are still nowhere near an acceptable level of understanding or empathising with those suffering under an ‘invisible illness’. One interesting thing discussed was that after retrospective diagnosis it was suggested that King George did not in fact suffer of a mental disease but porphyria, a rare and inherited disorder of the red blood cells. Although some academics have come to question this, the point stands that the King was stigmatised for something that he was not even actually experiencing. It makes you wonder how many other people were unjustly accused of being mad. More like this: The King’s Speech (2010) Sakura Brandi
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usicals are a bone of contention for cinema-goers all over the land. Apparently they’re like Marmite, or human beings: you either love them or you hate them. I come down on the side of love. Not entirely, but certainly on that side of the spectrum.
I think it all stems from when and where you first saw a musical. I grew up with musicals, from the day I was born I was trained into liking them by animated Disney travesties that had a song a minute. Skip to now, and some of my favourite films are musicals. Oliver, Bugsy Malone, Annie - my early life had a million musicals hanging out in the depths of my mother’s DVD collection. And as such, many of my nostalgic feelings begin to shine out when songs like ‘Oom-pah-pah’, ‘Bad Guys’ and ‘You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile’ come on the radio (which is never - so unfair), so I’ll always watch a musical. Of course, there are musicals like those, and then there are musicals like Disney. If you were a Disney child, it was par for the course that you’d end up seeing a musical; not all Disney films are musicals, of course, but my God a lot of them are. I’ve always stood by the vague and unfounded opinion that Disney movies are lesser in some way, but recently I was introduced to Lion King, which somehow passed me by when I was child, and holy mother of God, it’s good. People born in the Disney musical era seem to have a rather odd opinion of musicals, in that any movie with a song in it qualifies for the title.
But then of course, on top of all those there are the musicals like Les Miserables, which surely must be the Olympic standard for musicals. And then of course, My Fair Lady, Phantom of the Opera and all the other various musical-theatre film adaptations. People bred with these are a metre above the rest, and for some reason always seem to think themselves better for liking theatrical music. All in all, musicals are an odd species, in that at the very least, there is such a varying degree of difference in what is even considered a musical. You can have a full conversation with someone about musicals and be talking about entirely different types of film. So I would say that, regardless of whether I actually like musicals or not, everyone will have at some point, come into contact with a musical they like. There are so many out there these days that apparently qualify, that I would say it would be impossible to avoid liking at least one of them. I mean, take a look at recent foray into musicals the public has made. Les Mis, the ultimate musical, had a reboot version out. Then Disney brought out their new line of musical films, Enchanted, The Princess and the Frog, Tangled and of course, the unforgivably overseen Frozen. And with Into the Woods and Pitch Perfect 2 now on the cards for release, I can’t wait to see where musical films are going. Sophie Baines
26.tvhighlights
Monday 1 December 2014
The Courier
TV Editors: Helen Daly and Ellie McLaren Online TV Editor: Rebecca Dooley
I can’t even Ghangaa Mano heaps a shed load of praise on Scorpion, but begs the question: what is the purpose of Paige?
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aving all the new autumn line-ups aired and cancelled all within the matter of months – it is a lot for a TV addict to take in! When you seem to start liking a series and it gets cancelled without warning, all because no one else viewed the potential you saw. So, of course it’s a thrilling occasion when a pilot is sticking by and in this case, Scorpion. An ingenious foursome coming together to solve crimes? It may just sound like another superherothemed TV premiere but the dynamics of every character intrigues you and so the binge watching begins. TV networks are taking it upon themselves to inform us that the geniuses are taking over in all genres, with the success of The Big Bang Theory and more intellectual based series. Every character here seems to fit in right with the different aspects they have got to offer – combination of the genius and misfits. Elyes Gabel as Walter O’Brien; Jadyn Wong as Happy Quinn, Eddie Kaye Thomas as Toby Curtis and Ari Stidham Sylvester Dodd as the brilliant misfits; Katharine McPhee as Paige with a son, Ralph, who happens to have an extra high IQ putting him in the same category as them.
Royal Variety Performance ITV, Monday, 9pm
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arking the one night of the year that TV gets a majestic makeover, the Royal Variety Performance always marks the beginning of the Christmas festivities on the box and is always one of those landmark broadcasts that brings the whole family together. This year promises to be no different: presented by the lovable and very posh Michael McIntryre, the London Palladium will play host to global icons past and present, including (wait for it) Dame Shirley Bassey and Bette Midler (omg). Yes, the queens of the entertainment industry will lead a star-studded night of fun and frivolities for our beloved royal family. Scrolling through the list of acts who will grace the stage, the familiar Royal Variety dread and despair does hit however, as I question how a few singers (albeit massively successful) and a few comedians from Mock The Week are actually ‘variety’. Of course, Jack Whitehall will fit right in with all the poshos in the audience; for one, they’ll be able to understand what he says. I fear the same can’t be said for Northern lass Sarah Millican. Understandable or not, will they be funny?
Unfortunately it’s a given that any comedian tones their acts right down, reducing them to a few corny anecdotes that only just produce wry smiles
“After 3 episodes and lots of bitching, you start to wonder what Katherine McPhee’s character is exactly there for”
After 3 episodes and lots of bitching, you start to wonder what Katherine McPhee’s character is exactly there for. She is supposed to be a ‘decoder’ for the brainy group, but the show would still be exhilarating without her. Considering that this is McPhee’s first gig that doesn’t require her singing, I really wished her character was making a larger impact within the series. With every crime that the Scorpions help the Homeland Team to solve, Paige seems to become more irrelevant. It feels like the writers are trying to make her fit in, but to no avail. Just when you thought it could not get worse, you can feel the sexual tension starting between Walter and Paige; I’m already foreseeing them getting together at the end of the season. The only positive thing about having Paige is the addition of Ralph. Nothing feels more warm and ‘aww’-worthy than a group of geniuses that have problems with regular communication, caring and being protective over a little boy.
“It feels like the writers are trying to make her fit in, but to no avail”
Besides Paige’s uninvolved character, Scorpion has so much more to offer, with the mystery backgrounds of every character slowly starting to be unveiled. With every brainy, software coding and technology breaking crime that they take on to solve, the anticipation and excitement level rises. As the stories develop it will be intriguing to see how Ralph is being incorporated into the equation, besides just a child that is around their garage. With nine heart-pumping episodes under their belt currently, what more unconventional crimes can they solve? The longevity of the show does come into question but it is too early for that. Despite my love/ hate relationship with the characters, I would love to see this show running for seasons to come and hoping to even have my views changed on Paige’s role.
“The familiar Royal Variety dread and despair does hit however, as I question how a few singers and a few comedians from Mock The Week are actually ‘variety’” from the audience at home, to ensure they’re tasteful to the royal palette. An array of current pop stars will also perform, including fangirl favourites One Direction, Disney star Demi Lovato, Ed Sheeran, and super-boyband McBusted, who will no doubt jump around like they’re still 17 and do some excessive air guitaring. For those not a fan of the current chart music scene, never fear, Royal Variety have the answer. Simply Red. Yep, Mick Hucknall and his luscious
Storage Hunters UK
The Librarians
Dave, Tuesday, 8pm
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he cult show Storage Hunters US graced our television screens last month but with a very British twist. Instead of auctioning of the abandoned storage facilities of America, Sean Kelly (along with his brrrrrrapping) has made the giant leap across the pond and given British viewers Storage Hunters UK, a more annoying but nevertheless addictive remake. Sticking to the US format, Kelly invites the crowd to bid on storage units for often obscene amounts of money, but although this show follows the structure of its US counterpart it seems to lack the excitement and anticipation that Storage Hunters US offers (probably because unlike the US version, with its Harley Davidsons and exotic taxidermy, the UK show only seems to offer storage units full of loo roll). The UK bidders often lack the charm of their US equivalent with the aptly named Heavy D’s obnoxious outbursts of “BOOM!” being no match for T-Money’s smooth exclamations of “money”, and Nat and John’s poor imitation of Brandon and Lori Bernier (the couple we either hate to love or love to hate) doing nothing to positively change my opinion of the show. The fights that ensue between the British bidders seem staged and feel as though you’re watching an awkward episode of Jeremy Kyle, and this is intensified with the presence of Kelly’s ‘security’ guard. However, despite the negative reviews I constantly find myself willing for this show to get better, probably due to my obsession with the US version. Who knows maybe one lucky bidder will not only strike lucky with a storage unit and win big, but also change our minds about Storage Hunters UK in general. Becca Cummings
Syfy UK, Monday, 9pm
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auburn locks will be all over that stage. I can already hear parents across the country rejoicing at being provided with some ‘proper music’. Despite my criticisms, there is a bit more variety this year. Stephen Mulhern gives this year’s precedings the magic touch (I wonder how many years he’s been pestering Simon Cowell on Britain’s Got Talent for that gig) and of course we’ve got 2013 BGT winners Collabro. They might look like a copycat 1D with their skinny jeans and matching haircuts, but the five-piece boy band are so much more. They’re not a boy band, they’re a Man Band. They shocked the nation in their first audition by singing a Les Mis number, so God only knows what they’ll pull out the bag to wow royalty. So yes, I’ve slagged off the lack of variety, but I tune in every year without fail. There’s something hilarious seeing celebrities starstruck; who wouldn’t be meeting and performing in front of the royal family? There’s one thing we know for certain: they’ll make it the performance of a lifetime. Ellie McLaren
The Real Housewives of Cheshire ITVBe, coming soon
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fter the success of the made-for-TV movies, a ten-episode TV series The Librarians has been commissioned for screens. The premise of the show focuses on an ancient organization hidden beneath the New York Metropolitan Public Library that involves the group solving seemingly impossible mysteries, fighting supernatural threats and recovering powerful artefacts from around the globe in order to save the world from various apocalyptic dangers and threats. The series is set to return with original cast members Flynn Carson (Noah Wyle), a kind of Holmes character due to his polymath intelligence; Charlene (Jane Curtin), a bitter library employee; Judson (Bob Newhart), the head librarian and mentor; as well as the new recruits, Eve Baird (Rebecca Romijn), a counter-terrorism agent, Jake Stone (Christian Kane), resident genius with an IQ of 190, Cassandra (Lindy Booth), a memory whizz, Ezekiel Jones (John Kim), technology master, and finally Jenkins (John Lorroquette), the library’s caretaker and expert on ancient lore - sure to come in handy. But as well as saving the world ‘one treasure at a time’, the organization will have to contend against the cryptic immortal figure Dulaque (Matt Frewer) who leads the Serpent Brotherhood (who came up with these group names?), a cult who battles to foil every step the Librarians take. You should expect ridiculously cheesy special effects - I’m talking Buffy the Vampire Slayer style - but despite this there should be some good character dynamics and plots to keep you gripped.
ecause you don’t choose to go and live in Bolton. Yes, we’ve all seen the outrageous adverts and now The Real Housewives of Cheshire are finally here. itvBe are clearly trying to copy the success of the American juggernaut franchise by launching their own scandalous Housewives series. The new series focuses on the lives of women who live in the ‘Golden Triangle’ area of Wilmslow, Hale and Alderley Edge. First up, we have best friends Dawn Ward, an interior designer, and Leanne Brown (who doesn’t seem to do anything). It’ll be interesting to see if they’re able to make it through the series with their friendship intact. Then we have Magali Gorre, who has written novels among other things, as has Tanya Bardsley. Tanya, one of the youngest of the Housewives, looks to be the wild one of the group, admitting that she’s a bit of a ‘party girl’. Next up is Lauren Simon, who seems to be a bit of a loose cannon; she regularly takes her pet rabbit for a walk on its lead. Completing the line-up is divorcee Ampika Pickston, who runs her own beauty salon and spa in the heart of Cheshire. Of course, we can’t have a British Housewives show without any WAGs; and here we have five. Dawn, Leanne, Magali, Tanya and Lauren are all married to footballers, which obviously helps fund their life in the lap of luxury. The series promises to give us an exclusive glimpse into the lives of the elite, while documenting the ups and downs of the relationships between the Housewives. And if the American series are anything to go by, that includes catfights, bitching and back-stabbing.
Rebecca Dooley
Chloe Carroll
The Courier
featurestv.27
Monday 1 December 2014
Type cast away Lauren Hickin investigates typecasting to see if actors can escape the world of stereotyping
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n every medium of performance, typecasting exists to a greater or lesser degree, and in the world of TV serials, it is now the norm. Stock characters such as the innocent ingénue, the conflicted hero, the Machiavellian villain and the tart with a heart appear in almost every series, whether it’s a period drama, a thriller, a soap opera or crime procedural. This being the case, it is unsurprising that many actors will play such ‘types’ time and time again, especially early in their careers. Consider, for example, Emilia Fox, now famous for her role as forensic scientist Dr Nikki Alexander in long-running drama Silent Witness. Her first professional role was as the sweet, shy Georgiana Darcy in Andrew Davies’ celebrated version of Pride and Prejudice. Her performance was justifiably praised, and paved the way for a career in television drama, but it had the unintended side effect of labelling her as an ingénue. For several years, her roles on television tended to be sweet, docile women in period dramas, from her performance as ‘the second Mrs de Winter’ in Rebecca, as the ineffectual mother of a young Daniel Radcliffe in David Copperfield and as the least memorable wife, Jane Seymour, in Henry VIII. But then things started to change. Fox began to push the boundaries of her casting possibilities, beginning with a bold performance as the unlikeable, unhinged Cassandra in Helen of Troy (a 2003 serial overshadowed by big-budget film, Troy). Then came Silent Witness. Replacing former lead Amanda Burton, the role of Dr Nikki Alexander, an acutely intelligent, incisive and charismatic scientist, allowed Fox room to create a more rounded and compelling character than those she had played, albeit well, in her twenties. However, there are cases in which TV typecasting
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is harder to overcome. It has been proven, time and time again, that one of the hardest things to break away from is taking a role in a soap opera early in your career. Of course, there are exceptions to the rules. Hugh Jackman has probably never regretted his decision, against the advice of his agent, to turn down a regular role in Neighbours in favour of drama school. In contrast, Hunger Games star Liam Hemsworth had an early break with a recurring role in the same show, something which has not appeared to hold him back. Several years ago, Martine McCutcheon quit EastEnders to seek her fortune in Hollywood after her role in Love Actually gained attention. Unfortunately, this praise did not translate into a lasting career and now she doesn’t even do the Activia ads any more. In contrast, another Neighbours alum, Margot Robbie, who simi-
larly gained attention for a small role in a hit film (The Wolf of Wall Street) has five high-profile roles in the pipeline for the next two years, suggesting that her soap opera beginnings will soon be a distant memory. Television, however creative, ultimately has to play into conventions in order to appeal to audiences. We will always have police dramas, literary adaptations etc., and it therefore follows that similar characters will be seen again and again. However, resistance is not futile. Actors can and do escape typecasting, whether in terms of roles or genres, and I would urge casting directors to surprise us more often, with unconventional choices and less snobbery towards those who earn their stripes on the set of a soap.
Our writers battle it out to see which Christmas advert reigns supreme John Lewis
Jack Parker
Diary of a TV Addict Hannah Bunting
A super ad vent After last year’s massive ‘Bear and Hare’ advert from John Lewis, which was everything a good Christmas advert should be, John Lewis have tried to cash in on their successes with their latest blockbuster ad. The rather unChristmassy advert stars a young boy and his anthropomorphic friend, Monty the penguin, as they spend their days together playing . Of course, Monty would love a female penguin to make him happy, and lo and behold, there’s one waiting for him on Christmas morning. If you cry at the sob stories on The X Factor, you will probably find this adorable and cry. You’ve also fallen into John Lewis’ trap, why not take a visit to John Lewis in Eldon Square, and buy yourself a Monty cuddly toy, as well as the picture book, the tie, the T- shirt, the cushion and the umbrella? Of course this is the biggest ad of the Christmas season, and however much it cost to produce and shoot, John Lewis will be laughing all the way to the bank.
thecourieronline.co.uk/tv c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_tv
Sainsbury’s With over 11 million views on YouTube since it was released, the Sainsbury’s Christmas advert it is set to overtake John Lewis at this rate. Whilst it may be an unusual scene for a Christmas advert, Sainsbury’s had the nation in floods of tears with its Yuletide commercial. The beautifully poignant advert depicts the iconic story of the football match between English and German soldiers on Christmas Day 1914 during the First World War. The men surface from their opposing trenches to kick around a ball on no man’s land and share gifts with each other. Whilst many will complain how companies abuse Christmas to brainwash us as consumers, and admittedly the advert was a huge marketing triumph, people need to view the positives. Sainsbury’s is already set to exponentially surpass it’s fundraising total of 4.5 million from last years donation to The Royal British Legion. The Sainsbury’s advertisement is essentially an antiwar message, a meaning just as relative today as 100 years ago. It reinforces how even through difficult times human morality will always prevail and the importance of sharing and people being together, because really that is what Christmas should be all about. Rebecca Dooley
Aldi
Christmas dinner, family, presents, excessively long tables to fit the relatives round: Aldi has all the trappings (and *ahem* wrappings) of Christmas and what’s more, they’re proud. With the wit of previous Aldi ads shown in the onesie grandparents and the sentimentality needed in any Christmas advert (the girlfriend thinking of her boyfriend serving abroad), a dash of Jools Holland to add flavour; Aldi presents an advert flaming like a Christmas pud with the message of “everyone’s coming to us for Christmas”: an ominous but true description of Aldi’s on-going conquering of the market. Although it may not be a show-stopping epic like Monty the Penguin’s story, or as controversial as Sainsbury’s retelling of the 1914 truce; it is just as effective and has certainly convinced me that Aldi’s the place to be. Well it’s certainly better than Cadbury’s dismal attempt with Keith Lemon. Lucy Owen
he TV Addict is disgraced. The TV Addict is currently packing her bags to go and live as a hermit in the Himalayas, living off yak milk and regret – she imagines both things are equally bitter and unsatisfying – and never basking in the sweet glow of the television again. What, you ask, could possibly merit such a drastic life change? Brace yourselves. The TV Addict has revealed a spoiler. And not just any spoiler, but a Game of Thrones character death spoiler. The cardinal rule of watching television has been broken. Being on the receiving end of a spoiler is bad enough. Watching television is stressful. On one level, there’s the obvious emotional torment thrown at us by the narrative arcs of our favourite shows: shocking twists, end-of-season cliffhangers, not to mention that nowadays everyone seems to be taking a leaf out of G.R.R. Martin’s book and decreeing that anyone can die. Seriously. Anyone; you half expect them to start dropping like flies on the next episode of Dora the Explorer. On the other hand, the stress is part of the anticipation. It’s one of the oldest rules of storytelling: keep your audience guessing, and they’ll keep tuning in for the next instalment. Remove the anticipation, remove the satisfaction of watching events unfold.
“‘The TV Addict is currently packing her bags to go and live as a hermit in the Himalayas, living off yak milk and regret” Our hatred of spoilers is deeply ingrained. On the other hand, there’s something about being the first to know anything that taps into our inner Hermione Granger like nothing else. You remember those round-robin emails you used to get? ‘Send this on to seventeen people in the next hour, or else suffer the wrath of [insert urban legend guaranteed to terrify all thirteen yearolds here]’. Well, spoilers are (worryingly) kind of like those: horrible to receive, but passing them on yields guilt-laden enjoyment of a type most people only get from watching Twilight. Who among us hasn’t waited on tenterhooks to see the understanding/horror/devastation unfold on a friend’s face, or slyly asked whether or not they’ve got to that bit yet. If they haven’t, you get the satisfaction of nodding sagely and advising them to prepare themselves for ‘totes emotional’ times ahead; for a few seconds your extra knowledge allows you to be a kind of all-knowing mystic, giving out wise advice like you’re the Gandalf of television viewers.
“There’s something about being the first to know that taps into our inner Hermione Granger like nothing else” Some people go as far as to ferret out spoilers for themselves, dredging the darkest corners of the internet in search of new information. Usually, these people will then spend the next week moaning to all and sundry that the show has now been ruined for them entirely – it ain’t called a spoiler for nothin’, kids – and declaring that they’re not even sure if they should continue watching, now they know all the twists. (The TV Addict may or may not have done this herself, in the past.) At the end of the day, there’s no justification whatsoever for distributing spoilers. Even the brief flare of smug satisfaction is inevitably overshadowed by the look of horror on the faces of friends and family when you reveal the next plot twist. So, the moral of the story is to keep it zipped. Or, like the TV Addict, you might find yourself stocking up on thermal underwear and booking that ticket to Tibet.
28.music
Monday 1 December 2014
The Courier
Music Editors: Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly and Chris Addison
Electronic Blanket This week at club corner, Max Palmer-Geaves warns of high BPM-related cardiac arrest, good time techno, and undiscovered gold from Down Under wAFF 5th Dacember @ The Cut Leeds native wAFF has gone from strength to strength since his signing to Lee Foss and Jamie Jones’ Hot Creations label. ‘Jo Johnson’ is his breakthrough release: you will no doubt have heard it’s use of random snare hits and the repetition of the same vocal sample blasting through the Cosmic sound system, and it was voted the second best track of 2012 by DJmag. This success led him to being championed by heroes such as Groove Armada and Sven Vath as they used ‘Jo Johnson’ to end their sets. It should be a night of rolling grooves, which in a venue the size of The Cut should be totally inescapable. His latest release on Hot Trax, ‘Pump It Up’, is a barrage of pumping, good-time techno which really sums up wAFF’s attitude. It’s likely to be an evening with a common goal; you can’t leave, until you can’t leave. Listen to: wAFF – Jo Johnson Hazard & P Money 5th December @ Think Tank Spill The Gravy returns with another heavy weight line up with the pairing of classic jungle/jump-up DJ Hazard with grime hero P Money. You’re sure to be kept moving by Hazard’s relentless thrashing beats. One listen to a track like ‘Killers Don’t Die’ and you’ll see what I mean. An evening which is certainly not for the faint of heart, I certainly wouldn’t wear your best outfit as two hours at the 160-180bpm mark will have you sweating most of the water in your body out. If Hazard wasn’t enough, the addition of grime star P Money who is famous for his live performances is sure to leave you stunned. Think Tank is also one of the city’s best venues: its small size and simple nature always fuel the madness of its nights, a recent example being DJ EZ. Once again… not for the faint of heart. Listen to: Hazard – ‘Killers Don’t Die’ You Need To Hear This: Thrupence Thrupence is the alter-ego of painter and allround talented Australian artiste Jack Vanzet. As a visual artist his work sells for around $400 a print, though his love of music is clear as he often selectively produces cover artwork. This has been the case for label mate Hayden James, also on Future Classic, and electronic Aussies Yujen. His latest release is sure to be his best to date and is likely to see Thrupence garner a wider audience - and maybe even venture into the mainstream a little. Lessons (Original Mixtape 4) is a fantastical album but this success is largely due to lead single ‘Don’t You Mind’, a beautiful take on Son House’s a capella blues track ‘Don’t You Mind People Grinnin’ In Your Face’. Its swinging J Dilla-esque hip-hop beat perfectly compliments the 1950s vocal which is bathed in reverb and swirling delay. Unique care is taken as each vinyl print of Lessons has an individual painted pattern on the wax. It’s rare that an artist has such a hand in the overall package that comprises the album. Thrupence truly is an extension of Vanzet’s soul and it’s a beautiful one at that.
For music to ease off those end of the weekend blues be sure to tune into Max’s show The Electronic Blanket on NSR, every Sunday, 8pm
Four One Direction I
f I’m being completely honest, I have a soft spot for One Direction. Yes, they go against almost all of my music taste, and yes, it’s a little bit cringe in this day and age to admit that you like a boy band, but I just can’t help it. They’re my guilty pleasure and I’m not ashamed of that. One Direction are one of those acts who always seem to nail the catchy pop song. When I first heard their debut single ‘That’s What Makes You Beautiful’, not only did I think that these guys were probably going to be quite popular, but I found that I couldn’t get it out of my head. I would find myself humming it all of the time; I couldn’t stop. The rest of their big singles (‘Best Song Ever’ and ‘Live While We’re Young’ to name a couple) had the same effect on me. I found myself listening to the albums for more of those catchy tunes to fulfil my humming needs.
“They’ve graduated from the stereotypical boy band and have begun to take their first, tentative steps into that sparsely populated area of the Man Band”
Now, we all know that being a part of a manufactured pop band tends to mean that the songs aren’t their own. With Four, however, One Direction have moved into a new direction, and have actually taken a larger creative control of the album, writing and co-writing the songs that feature on it - and as a result, their fourth album sees them develop their sound and enter into a mature realm. The lead single from the album, ‘Steal My Girl’ makes a strong impression from the first listen. From the belting piano chords at the beginning of
pom pom Ariel Pink
the song, to the bouncing “na na na”s throughout, this song sounds both classically One Direction and yet significantly different at the same time. It feels more mature and brooding despite the occasionally little silly lyrics such as “kisses like cream, her walk is so mean”. The song, however, is undoubtedly catchy and I defy anyone to not belt out the chorus after a couple of listens.
“One Direction have moved into a new direction, and have actually taken a larger creative control of the album, writing and co-writing the songs”
‘Steal My Girl’ therefore becomes a bridge between the One Direction that we all know and the new, mature-sounding band. Follow-up single ‘Night Changes’ is immersed fully in that new sound. The line “we’re only getting older baby” seems to take on a larger meaning. It seems like the boys have grown up; they’ve graduated from the stereotypical boy band and have begun to take their first, tentative steps into that sparsely populated area, occupied solely by the legends known commonly as Take That: the Man Band. ‘Where Do Broken Hearts Go’ is arguably the biggest and most ambitious song on the album. Compared to the brooding tracks on Four, ‘Where Do Broken Hearts Go’ loudly and proudly arrives with a chorus that you quite literally need to shout along with. It’s probably the most ‘One Direction’ song on the album with another typically memorable chorus which very quickly becomes a part of your daily singing routine. Another favourite is ‘Act My Age’ where Niall takes the centre stage in the friendly and poppy ode to acting young.
“It’s a little bit cringe in this day and age to admit that you like a boy band, but I just cant help it” One Direction appear to be in their transitional phase. The young lads who burst on to The X Factor four years ago have grown up, and have brought their music with them. They still have a way to go, some of their lyrics demonstrate their youth, and after all, they are only between 20 NS 22 years old. What Four really shows, however, is their growth. The lads have come a long way in four years, and judging by the new sound, they’re not quite finished yet. Helen Daly
Douche, diva, or dingus?
Opinions are like arseholes: everybody’s got one. So too does the music industry have its fair share. Music Editors Jamie Shepherd and Dominique Daly have put Ariel Pink’s latest outburst on trial and to see whether he’s a douche, diva, or dingus
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he man that has been shrouded in controversy from his tasteless comments on misogyny, his love for paedophiles, and dissing Grimes, has released a staggering seventy minute, 17 track album, and a half-baked one at that. The thing about Ariel Pink is if you already aren’t keen, this record won’t change your mind, but if for some reason you think he’s a funny guy, then this is probably right up your street. The fact that people knew he was a dickhead before hearing his music already sets the tone because essentially, likability has a great impact on this album. The album itself is spattered with misogyny as on the sleazy ‘Black Ballerina’ which is just awkward and sometimes uncomfortable to listen to with lyrics such as “c’mon take your bra and panties off/ Yeah, juicy Belladonna”. Then there are moments such as ‘Sexual Athletics’ which leave you feeling torn between bemusement at this kind of sexual self-boasting, the fact it’s not actually a bad track, and trying to sardonically evoke our sympathy by claiming all he really wants is just a girlfriend. Ermm… really?! Yet, when it does work, it works pretty well. One of the highlights is ‘Dayzed Inn Daydreams’, but when it’s plonked on the end of the album after songs such as ‘Jell-O’, ‘Plastic Raincoats in the Pig Parade’, and the downright bizarre ‘Dinosaur Carebears’, you’ve already made up your mind and given up. It’s basically just an album of nonsensical drivel with a couple of alright songs popping up every now and again. The album is extremely hit and miss to the point where if he didn’t make himself so much of a talking point with his stupid comments, he wouldn’t be relevant at all. Beth Evans
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usicians seem to have a great capacity of making a tit of themselves. Here at The Courier, we think that they fall into three categories. The over the top diva a la Elton John asking his manager to turn the wind down; the douche as perfectly exemplified by Kanye West interrupting every awards ceremony ever; and the dingus which was epitomised by East 17’s Brian Harvey running over himself after eating all of those sodding potatoes. When I think of the name Ariel, I think of the charming little red headed mermaid that befriended fish and men alike. Ariel Pink however, is far from this Disney princess fantasy, gaining himself a reputation as “indie rock’s most hated man right now”. Pink is a modern day diva If ever there was one; knowing the right time to make a scene and the right time to DENY DENY DENY. A skill he demonstrated well when he slapped on that fake bitch smile and proclaimed his love for Grimes, just minutes after calling her “stupid and retarded”. Grab your feather boas and your cat claw nails, the 21st century diva is in town. Fast forward a few weeks and you can find our diva jet setting of to London town to announce his status as “the Jimmy Saville of Los Angeles”. We’re sure he simply meant he has a predilection for two-piece
velour track suits; divas love to get their lounge on. So don’t even think about crossing Ariel Pink; divas don’t pay for lunch, honey, they shout and
“Grab your feather boas and your cat claw nails, the 21st century diva is in town”
scream and take a mace to the face before they cough up for that quinoa salad. Verdict: While examplifying aspects of douchery, diva fever, and the traits of a grade-A dingus, we feel that Ariel Pink is ultimately in the territory of the diva. His verbal assault and then arselicking of Grimes was uncalled for and bares the hallmarks of bitchy-teenage-girl-in high-school behaviour. Comparing himself to one of the most evil men to come out of Great Britain is just like the actions of a bratty emo kid. Ariel Pink is essentially an overgrown teenager, and let’s face it, if anybody knows how to piss people off it’s a pimpled and hormonal teenager who thinks the world hates them.
The Courier
music.29
Monday 1 December 2014
thecourieronline.co.uk/music
c2.music@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_music
Death rattle and hum
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ono (the bloke on your iTunes who you didn’t ask for) made a newsworthy blunder the other day as he prepared to fly to Berlin on his private Learjet to receive an award. In true klutz fashion, Bono failed to lock the rear door, causing it to fling open in midair releasing several suitcases into the stratosphere. Six EDUN shirts (Bono’s fashion line) were sadly lost at sea. Luckily however, the shirts were later found having drifted ashore by an impoverished Kenyan village. Thankfully, the precious cargo Himself remains alive, albeit a bit shaken up. He has now added the inadvertent airdrop to his expansive list of philanthropic work. Bono has since released a statement apologising for the endangerment of his crew, claiming that the cock-up was to due to his excitement about the award. After receiving a suggestion to remove his dark glasses to prevent similar mistakes, he remains adamant that he will not take them off. The Kenyan villagers have publicly thanked Bono for the shirts and have requested an iron so that they might wear them to local soirées. On the 16th of November, just a few days after the in-flight fiasco, Bono
E.P. club This week we gave local lad Euan Lynn’s most recent EP, Never Grow Up Club, to four of our writers. Here’s how they got on with it
was again involved in another tragic incident that doctors have been calling a ‘high energy bicycle accident’. After seeing how badly Bono fell off his ten-speed, onlookers immediately rang the emergency services, claiming that the bloke on their iTunes library had just lost a joust- i n g match with another cyclist.
Lauren Hickin isn’t a fan of the charity single
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“Bono has been given three metal plates and more screws than Mick Hucknall on his reunion tour”
Upon arriving at hospital in one and a half seconds, one of his injuries was reported to be a “facial fracture involving the orbit of his eye.” That’s right, one of Bono’s eyes literally came out of his face and began to orbit his head. Doctors have theorised that the abnormal largeness of Bono’s ego may well have caused his head to develop its own gravitational pull.
“It would appear Bono has been caught up in some Final Destination type situation” Bono has always been rather vocal about his dislike for Sundays, lamenting them in the U2 hit, ‘Sunday Bloody Sunday’; so it’s typical Irish luck that this devastating head-on bicycle collision should occur on a flipping Sunday. The other cyclist was also rushed to hospital, but after having his knees administered with two adhesive plasters, a full recovery can be expected. Bono, on the other hand, has been given three metal plates and more screws than Mick Hucknall on his reunion tour.
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uan Lynn’s EP Never Grow Up Club is less than ten minutes of surprisingly good music. The photography student (at Northumbria Uni, no less) mashes up sludgy guitar top lines with futuristic noises from his Game Boy, and it’s garage-grunge-surfer-punk like you’ve never it heard before. ‘Never Grow Up’ is a skater punk anthem and ‘Metro Surfing’ is a groove-fuelled mash-up that I can’t stop listening to. He sounds like a futuristic version of The Ramones. He sounds like a genredefying experimentalist who isn’t afraid to sound like the grittiest of Royal Blood basslines on some sort of hallucinogenic drug. It’s exciting and a bit confusing and just interesting to listen to. A little digging reveals that this is Euan Lynn’s third release in as many years; a little more digging reveals that Euan Lynn is often found playing shows at Nerd Hutch – definitely one to check out live. Iqra Choudhry
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uan Lynn innovatively splices together garage rock and chiptune taken from his Nintendo Game Boy to devise Never Grow Up Club. Club As the name suggests, the EP is about liberty regardless of age, but mainly Lynn sings about skating, drinking and the constitutionality of education. It sounds like Super Mario took a one-way ticket to California and hung out with Wavves. ‘Metro Surfing’ is an instrumental that takes Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’s bass line riff and titivates it with hypnotic 8-bit techno and a shit ton of distortion. Some may say sacrilege, but Lynn candidly erects his middle finger to anything considered established. The vocals on ‘Never Grow Up’, ‘Skool Sux’ and ‘Teen Trash’ are somewhat modulated, however, yet are sometimes drowned out behind the tsunami of insane bleeping and overdriven guitar. Anybody who integrates the sounds of an iconic gaming console in to the unique realms of raucous surf-rock, to make an EP about the timelessness of adolescence, deserves admiration for their avantgarde ambition. Connor McDonnell
I don’t like Band Aid (Tell me why)
But none of these shoulder brushings with death are anything new for Bono. In May 2010, Bono suffered a spinal injury that led to the postponement of U2’s tour and the cancellation of their Glastonbury appearance. It would appear that Bono has been caught up in this Final Destination type situation for quite some time. His son, Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q Hewson has said that he would be most aggrieved if his beloved father should die. His other son, John, has also said he’d be pretty miffed.
“Bono’s eyes literally came out of his face and began to orbit his head” Despite Bono’s severely broken arm, eye socket, hand, shoulder blade and pinkie, Bono is not planning to give up on life any time soon. Personally however, I would not wish such a painfully optimistic convalescence on anyone. So tonight thank God it’s Bono, instead of you.
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uan Lynn’s EP is what you would expect from surfy garage punk with a Game Boy and a guitar - it’s stuck in 2002. It seems, however, that this was intentional as Euan playfully urges us to ‘Never Grow Up’ on the opening track and he does indeed spell ‘Skool Sux’ like I might have in Year 7. After a first listen I thought the best thing about this EP was how short the songs are, but later withdrew this harsh judgement on realising that I favoured the two (slightly) longer instrumentals. At 2 minutes each, ‘Metro Surfing’ and ‘Pipeline’ revive beats that wouldn’t have been out of place on a 70s video game and grungy guitar riffs that could potentially be developed over a less restrictive track length. Despite our obvious musical differences, it has to be said that Euan is anything but ‘Teen Trash’, as the bedroom production of this fun EP displays self-sufficiency and ambition. Sophie Ahmed
“Like Super Mario hanging out with Wavves”
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ever Grow Up Club is a self-released, selfproduced and self-recorded EP by Euan Lynn. It was created with a games console and a guitar in a garage punk style. The punk side of the music is very easy to hear: tracks ‘Never Grow Up’, ‘Skool Sux’, and ‘Teen Trash’ follow the usual conventions of simplistic vocal melodies and repetitive chord patterns. ‘Pipeline’ and ‘Metro Surfing’ appear in a dance style, with rhythmical differences really shaping the music. On the whole, the EP is written very simplistically. The songs are remarkably short compared to your standard track, never going over the two minute marker. The amalgamation of every possible sound leads to a distorted mess, making it impossible to hear anything which is going on. I’m not really sure what Euan Lynn is trying to achieve through this music. George Suddaby
and Aid 30 have released the best-selling single of the year so far – at the time of writing, over 250,000 copies have been sold in just three days. In a calendar year which can boast only one platinum album (1989, Taylor Swift’s first pop record), this achievement is not to be sniffed at and, in theory, its aim to raise money to help the victims of Ebola is well-intentioned. In practice, however, this single comes across as patronising, self-congratulatory, and short-sighted. First of all, the lyrics to ‘Do They Know it’s Christmas?’ are deeply problematic. Homogenising Africa, a continent which is larger than Europe (excluding Russia), into one generalised, povertystricken mass in need of first-world salvation is almost laughable. It cannot be denied that there are countries in Africa suffering from civil wars, famine and disease but it is equally home to seven out of the ten fastest growing economies in the world. Statistically, there are worse levels of displacement by civil war in the Middle East, greater unrest from gangs and drug wars in South America, and lower levels of education in India. This song, as in its previous incarnations, perpetuates the popular, neocolonial depiction of the whole of Africa as in need of our help.
“It perpetuates a neo-colonial depiction of Africa”
The lyrics have been modified for this diseasefocused edition of Band Aid, calling on us to ‘heal’ rather than ‘feed’ the world, and rewriting a few unsavoury lines from the original. The patronising tone remains, however, even if they have wisely excised the revoltingly self-congratulatory line “thank God it’s them instead of you”. Bono himself claims to hate the old line, despite being happy to sing it both in the original Band Aid and Band Aid 20. Hmmm. Furthermore, I was personally disgusted by Sir Bob Geldof ’s rudeness about Adele, who declined to contribute to the record (instead making a considerable private donation to Oxfam). Her absence from the record did not need to be noted, let alone referred to with snide comments about her being completely focused on family life. When I first read these comments my initial thoughts, besides a few decidedly uncharitable ones about Geldof ’s own family life, ranged from anger at his spitefulness to amused disdain for his clear case of sour grapes. A fact underlined by his subsequent assertions that Rita Ora and Emeli Sande are equal to Adele. I disagree. Neither of them could essentially disappear from the public sphere between albums and maintain such a reputation. Adele doesn’t need to play the fame game or pander to people like Geldof, and she knows it. Moreover, I predict that when she releases her next album, sales will be all the greater for the anticipation.
“Would have done better to contribute some of their private wealth”
I will not be able to avoid Band Aid 30 this Christmas. On the radio, in the gym, in the shops, it will blast out, compelling people to give money. The celebrities who contributed vocals would have done much better to contribute even a small portion of their private wealth to the cause. Donating to help fight Ebola is not a negative thing, but this Christmas, I will be donating directly to charities, rather than supporting a vanity project.
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gaming.31
Monday 1 December 2014
thecourieronline.co.uk @Courier_Gaming
Gaming Editors: Sophie Baines and Ben Tyrer
UbiSoBroken: What’s up with the bugs? Why are Ubisoft releases always a pile of bugs and tech issues? Michael Hicks explores the problem and wonders whether it’s unreasonable to expect functionality
Preview:
Yogscast Christmas Livestreams 2014
The Yogscast are back for another year raising charity cash, Sophie Baines previews this year’s shenanigans
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he Yogscast are back for a fourth year, streaming every single night to raise money for charity. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then settle in for a joyous ride. The Yogscast are one of the biggest group on Youtube, known for lets plays, reviews and general antics.
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t seems like every major Ubisoft release is plagued with bugs at launch, and it seems Ubisoft’s two current big releases are of no exception. Assassin’s Creed Unity has been besieged with glitches (such as a horrifying one where non-player characters spawn with no face), and performance issues have been frequent since release. Far Cry 4 got off slightly better; unless you’re playing it on a PS3, where the game files have been known to corrupt, and the only way to fix the issue is to delete and reinstall the game, in addition to setting up a live feed to see all of the game’s issues in one piece. As I stated before, this is far from the first time that a Ubisoft release has had issues at launch, as I distinctly remember falling through the world after trying to vault over a bench in Watch Dogs, on top of the online issues. To Ubisoft’s credit, a page detailing these issues is present front and centre on the websites for Assas-
App review: Brave Frontier
sin’s Creed and Far Cry, which is a nice gesture of admitting fault, instead of burying the issue in an obscure ‘tech support’ forum thread, and Ubisoft is far from the only guilty party in the glitch department.
“This is far from the first time that a Ubisoft release has had issues at launch”
While many gamers are quick to lament the advent of the patch and the ability for developers to fix bugs, and therefore having less incentive to fix bugs before shipping out a game; games are also far more complex then in previous years, resulting in all the more things to go wrong, and when you factor in the online element and that fact that Far Cry 4 came out on five different platforms (I mean
really?), that adds up to all the more possibility of the game breaking at launch. That said, paying customers should not have to put up with these teething issues, and a completed product should act like a completed product. The only reason that these issues are present in games in the first place is because someone, somewhere along the line, messed up. While bugs are never a great thing, it is unfair now to expect every game to release without its fair share of bugs. As gamers expect ever greater and grander worlds to explore and interact with, the number of variables within a game increases exponentially, and as QA testing requires a whole lot of people, time and money, it is now a sad inevitability of modern gaming that some of the burden of testing will fall upon the early adopters. That said, you could at least look like you’re making an effort with testing your games Ubi; I mean those guys in Assassin’s Creed have no face, come on!
Reload: Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone
Rebecca Harrison shoots spells, glides through walls and fondly remembers her love of Bertie Bott’s Beans
“Last year’s streams were some of the best yet, filled with Jack Daniels, GMod, drawing, cows and joy”
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imple but effective, gumi Inc has created a classical role-playing game masterpiece which has become one of my favourites. In game you are a Summoner, called to save Grand Gaia. Be prepared, this game takes all your favourite characteristics from old games and mushes it up into one big file (569MB). The units you can choose are divided into 4 elements (fire, earth, water and thunder) plus light and dark types which all have their strengths and weaknesses. Furthermore each unit has a unique design, name and personality with their own boosts and special moves that makes choosing your 5 unit team very difficult. Fuse them together and voila: Stronger and better looking units evolve before your eyes. Your team can then embark on adventures to collect more units and materials (which make health potions, antidotes etc), fight in special events through the Vortex or fight fellow gamers in the Arena. And believe me, Brave Frontier has definitely got one of the best app communities, with plenty of people who send gifts, add you as friends and keep on levelling to become even more challenging opponents. What keeps me going back though are the daily tasks and the many rewards you get for logging in every day. Although I do go through some periods where I don’t even open the game once, the feeling of being left behind by every other summoner in your friend list spurs you on to be seriously addicted. WARNING: Great for procrastinating, bad for uni grades. But hey, at least it’s free. Sakura Brandi
Launched in 2008, the original Yogscast began on BlueXephos which was Lewis’ channel. They primarily uploaded World of Warcraft boss battles, showing people how to beat the bosses. The channel was mainly focused on Lewis and Simon, with occasional look-ins from Hannah, Lewis’ girlfriend. Then in 2011, the group exploded, adding Sjin, Sips, Duncan and Rythian to the family. And the team has grown since then, adding Nilesy, Martyn, Zoey, Strippin, Kim, Tee and Parv. Exsisting channels HybridPanda, Ridgedog, DaveChaos and Hat Films have been added to the Yogscast family in recent years. And every year, since 2011, has been a charity livestreaming month. Every night becomes livestream night with a different member streaming. In 2011 there was a goat theme, in 2012 a bee theme (with an amazing video where Lewis dressed in a sexy bee costume to celebrate the beating of the target), and last year came the cows. It is yet to be announced whether there will be an animal theme this year. With last year’s streams being some of the best yet, with look-ins from Hat Films and other members, the streams were filled with Jack Daniels, GMod, drawing, cows and joy. This year they will be supporting several great charities. Mind, Doctors Without Borders, Fauna and Flora International, Special Effect and End Polio Now. All five of the charities this year are international charities, which means that every fan, no matter where they’re from in the world will be giving to a charity that could affect them. There’s a wide range of subjects covered, from mental health and Ebola, to disabled gaming and Polio.
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wenty-somethings like myself will be familiar with the ‘nostalgia phase’ of life - it basically consists of chain watching children’s TV shows, re-reading children’s books and stuffing your face with biscuits, while rolling around on the floor questioning when you became an adult. An important part of this process is replaying classic childhood games, which for me was Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone on PC. The game is not without its problems. The graphics are awful, it looks as though every character has been created using Microsoft Paint (although not as bad as the graphics from the Deathly Hallows games, which made us question whether EA knew what a human looked like), the puzzles are simplistic and Quirrell’s voice is a little off. But if you can look past these issues you’ll be plunged into a Hogwarts that is truly alive in a way that the later games cannot hope to replicate. The story itself doesn’t revolve around the plot of the films: you take the lessons, play the Quidditch matches and learn the spells by desperately trying to move your mouse in the shape of a keyhole - on a 90s computer, that was a challenge. There’s a few
duels, but the fun from these sections come from Harry shouting “Flipendo!”, and subsequently interrupting himself when you attempt to chain cast.
“I entered glide mode, and sailed through the passageway to discover a dead end, and a disgruntled Snape scowling angrily at a wall” You can also enter debug mode for infinite hilarity. There was a scene relatively early on where Snape disappears into a secret passageway. I entered glide mode, and sailed through the passageway to discover a dead end, and a disgruntled Snape scowling angrily at a wall. The soundtrack clinches the replayability for me. It is perfect for wandering around Hogwarts, discovering the hidden secrets in each level, casting spells and picking up Bertie Bott’s Beans like there’s no tomorrow. If you’re stuck for something to do this Christmas, get it out again. It’s way more fun than the Queen’s speech.
It has yet to be announced what site will be used to host this year’s extravaganza; although many fans will be hoping for a Humble Bundle deal again, it may be less likely than you’d think. Although the page seemed to hold its own for the beginning of the month, later on into December there were more and more crashes. So unless Humble have increased their visiting capabilities we may have to give without receiving free games this year. Either way, I know many fans will be content just to have the nightly streams returned for our v i e w i n g pleasure, though our emphasis will remain upon the charity part. The Yogscast are well known for their charity efforts, even outside the Youtube community, with one of their charity songs actually reaching the Top 100. If you’re not a fan of the Yogscast then you can be forgiven for never watching a livestream, but remember to give them a pound or two this wintery December!
32.science&technology
Monday 1 December 2014
The Courier
Science Editors: Laura Staniforth and Penny Polson Online Science Editor: Jack Marley
In space no-one can hear you bark Michael Hicks looks at the animals we have sent to space in the name of further human exploration
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umanity has a tried and true tradition of wanting to boldly go where no one has ever gone before. Sadly, for most companies that have the kind of funding for these trips, boldly going somewhere no one has ever gone before presents a massive logistical and financial challenge, and that’s before you get to the insurance costs.
In order to make sure that these trips aren’t fatal to humans, many organisations have used an animal instead of a person on the initial test flights, as the death of one goat (while still tragic) is far less likely to result in slanderous headlines in case of things going haywire. One of the first, and most famous, pioneers of this was Laika. Laika was a Soviet space dog, which
became the first animal to orbit the Earth. As very little was known about space flight and the dangers of re-entry to Earth, it was deemed necessary by the Soviets to test these hypotheses with a test flight involving an animal. Laika came out on top to be the (un)lucky dog to be loaded into Sputnik 2, that was launched on November 3rd, 1957. Scientists did not expect Laika to survive the trip, and they were sadly right; Laika died of overheating, although the true cause of death would be unknown until 2002 when the documents were de-
“There are many successful stories though, and animals are constantly launched to orbiting sites such the International Space Station in order to study the effects of microgravity environments in a way not possible on earth”
classified, as the Soviet government stated that she died of euthanisation prior to oxygen deprivation. Laika’s trip did prove incredibly useful though, as it proved that a living passenger could survive the launch and awesome weightlessness that waited in space; paving the way for human spaceflight. So, you may think that this kind of event is a thing of the past? The practice of sending animals into space is still alive today. In July of this year, Russia launched a satellite containing five geckos in order to study the reproductive habits of reptiles
in microgravity (because that is not at all a superniche thing to study and well worth the expense). However, on the 24th, they lost contact with the satellite. It was confirmed several days later that all the geckos on board of the satellite had frozen to death, and that Russia has allegedly launched an emergency inquiry into the deaths of these geckos. There are many successful stories though, and animals are constantly launched to orbiting sites such the International Space Station in order to study the effects of microgravity environments in a way not possible on earth, such as the 20 mice sent there in September. Many countries with fledgling space programs also send animals to space to test their apparatus, such as Iran, which launched a mouse, two turtles and some worms into orbit in 2010. And these ones came back alive for a change! It’s not just in spaceflight where these kinds of experiments utilizing animals are carried out. In 2008, the Ministry of Defence promised to stop using live goats in naval experiments, of which there have been over 400 cases of such experiments. Goats were used as to judge to what risk the bends would have on sailors escaping a sinking submarine. Thankfully, these tests have now been phased out in favour of computer simulations. Also, the developers of Goat Simulator missed a trick when they left out the epic submarine escape. The moral and ethical implications of the use of animals in such matters is debatable, but the information they have presented us with has proved incredibly useful and has no doubt saved human lives, but I think I speak for everyone when I say it would be nice if more returned from the trip alive and well.
So cute you can eat it
Anna Jastrzembska explains why you cry when you’re happy or want to attack extremely cute things
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ou are on the street and you see the cutest puppy/kitten/baby. Or, even better, it is your friend’s puppy and you just cannot stop yourself from touching, pinching, grasping, hugging. It is so cute you want to eat it. You probably recognize how fragile the creature is, and you don’t really want to eat a dog, but you still feel the urge to squeeze the breath out of it. “Cute aggression” has been an official, scientific term in psychology since last year. Fortunately, there is nothing pathological about feeling violent towards the things you enjoy. Even if you (playfully) growl at a baby, you don’t mean it real harm. That confusing behaviour actually proves that your organism might deal with strong emotions better, and recover quicker. Just as with tears of joy or nervous laughter, cute aggression is an attempt to stabilise emotions by going in the opposite direction. An organism reacting to one strong emotion (e.g. happiness) by showing two expressions (e.g. laughing and crying) is known as dimorphous expressions. These expressions are linked with one another. It means that if you cry while watching Love Actually, you are also more prone to laughing at funerals and wanting to squeeze kittens.
“The gathered data proved that the aggressive emotion was triggered by being overwhelmed by the positive emotion” As a part of the related research, the scientists from University of Yale showed photos of babies to a group of participants and asked them to evaluate the pictures. Participants demonstrated higher expressions of care and protection towards the more infantile-looking babies (with rounder faces, bigger eyes, etc.). However, at the same time, they
expressed more aggression towards them, using expressions like “it’s so cute I’d like to eat it” to describe the photo or saying that they would like to pinch the baby’s cheeks. The findings about the irresistible cuteness of the more infantile-looking babies was confirmed in an online study. As insignificant as the research might seem, it aims to explain the confusing emotions that many people experience but do not understand. The findings might help understand how people express and control their emotions, which is linked to mental and physical health, as well as bring more light to the research of the quality of the relationships and how people work together. The gathered data proved that the aggressive emotion was triggered by being overwhelmed by the positive emotion. Additionally, the participants who felt most “aggression” towards the babies, showed the biggest drop-off in the emotion five minutes after viewing the images. It suggests that the negative reaction to a positive emotion helps bring an organism back to emotional equilibrium quicker- it is healthy. So next time, do not stop the scream when your favourite music star appears on a stage, go ahead and cuddle a puppy you see on a street and bawl over a video of a deaf baby hearing their mum’s voice for the first time. It’s healthy for your mind and social relationships. You will be back to normal in no time and later on you won’t bore your flatmates to death by going on and on about it or won’t post fifty Facebook updates with the photos of cute baby animals.
“Just as with tears of joy or nervous laughter, cute aggression is an attempt to stabilise emotions by going in the opposite direction”
The Courier
technology&science.33
Monday 1 December 2014
thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_science
That ghostly feeling Anna Jastrzembska on a recent study which aimed to mimic the feeling of a ghostly presence using electrodes
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ou are walking back home after a tough day and you are certain that there is someone behind you - but there’s nobody around. Or you’re home alone and sense someone else just behind your back. Do you take it as a mind trick, or - as 52% of British people do believe that its some kind of paranormal activity? A recent Swiss study tried to find a more scientific explanation.
“The ghostly study turned out to be scary enough for two participants to want to quit”
The study used robots to trick participants into thinking that there are ghosts in the room, to find the underlying neurological basis for the “feeling of presence” (FoP). FoP is thinking that somebody is there even if no-one is present. The ghostly study turned out to be scary enough for two participants to want to quit. The study was named “Neurological and RobotControlled Induction of an Apparition” and had more medical purposes than focusing on appearance of ghosts. The researchers tried to mimic the extreme symptoms of patients living with schizophrenia, as well as other neurological problems. It hoped to better understand the patients who had recently gone through a traumatic experience or suffer from a psychological condition. According to the press release, most of the participants were epileptic. They were not told the true purpose of study in order to get genuine reactions. The scientists used master-slave partner robots. The participants were positioned between these robots and moved around the master robot for about three minutes. In this time, the slave robot was moving behind them and, mirroring the master robot, was touching the back of the participants. Using what is known as a tactile feedback, the participants had a feeling of touching their own back. However, it did not create any confusion. It was only when the synchronism was delayed, that the patients started suggesting that there were other people with them in the room. Giuilo Rognini, a researcher at the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology, explains that it is due to the mismatch between what the participants do
and what they feel. It relates to a phenomenon observed in psychiatric patients. Both the FoP and the emotional feeling related to is are unpleasant. The feeling is not only reserved for the people with psychological conditions. It also appears in the case of extreme exhaustion. For example, it is popular among the mountain climbers to sense another climber walking behind them, just outside the field of vision. “Our experiment induced the sensation of a foreign presence in the laboratory for the first time,” said Olaf Blanke, lead researcher of the team in the press release. “It shows that it can arise under normal conditions, simply through conflicting sensory-motor signals”. The brain scans of the healthy study participants show that the FoP is an interference between three separate cortex regions in the brain: insular cortex, parietal-frontal cortex and temporo-parietal cortex. These regions are responsible for movement, self-awareness and sensing the space around you. The same regions were affected in neurological patients. It means that if you sense a ghost in the room, it’s probably all in your head.
Whale of the Week S.H.A.G. week Sperm whale (Physeter macrocephalus)
Illustration by Becky Irvine
Image: Edward Scriven
Ridiculous research What are the Ig-Nobels? Sarah McIntyre investigates
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ave you ever dreamt of winning a Nobel Prize but thought that you would never find that piece of ground-breaking research that would be so significant that it would be talked about for hundreds of years? Well how about just coming up with an idea that’s so ridiculous, it may give you that chance to win an Ig Nobel prize instead. Ig Nobels are awarded based on how absurd the research is and the group that host the awards, Improbable Research, state that they honour the science that “makes people laugh, then think.”
“Ig Nobels are awarded based on how absurd the research... the group that host the awards, Improbable Research, honours the science that ‘makes people laugh, then think’ ”
To give you an idea of the kind of ideas that attract Improbable Research’s attention, here’s a selection of a few winners from previous years; in 2013, the Ig Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to the president of Belarus and the Belarus State Police, the former for making it illegal to applaud in public and the latter for then subsequently arresting a one-armed man for this crime. Don’t worry if you don’t work for the government though, you can win it as an individual too, like 2012’s Fluid Dynamics prize winners, Rouslan Krechetnikov and Hans Mayer who won with their paper “Walking With Coffee: Why Does It Spill?” More recently, this year a group of scientists from various countries came together for the revolutionary research that “when dogs defecate and urinate, they prefer to align their body axis with Earth’s north-south geomagnetic field lines” to win the Biology prize. Before you all rush off to write your acceptance speeches for the weirdest experiments you can think of, a word of caution: you only have 60 seconds for your speech before Miss Sweetie Poo, the ceremony’s 8 year-old official, will announce your time is up by repeatedly declaring “Please stop. I’m bored!”
The best of Latin names
Chris Lovell explores the world that biology students know far too well
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h, scientific names. As a student of the biological sciences, there are few things worse than these blights upon the curriculum. Their complex spelling and pronunciation often demote once noble creatures into “that one”, ensuring that each one you do remember is an achievement in itself. That said, before you relegate this article to that dark space where all the words not worthy of your time go, some of these names range from interesting to brilliant for one reason or another. Occasionally scientists enjoy sticking to the boring, uncharismatic stereotype usually assigned to them and adopt an ‘if it isn’t broken don’t fix it’ approach to naming new species. A particularly unimaginative example provided by McAtee in 1924 during attempts to describe a group of planthoppers. Examples include Cedusa bedusa, C.cedusa, C.medusa, C.redusa...beginning to sense a pattern here? A total of 10 were named in this fashion with later additions adhering to the rigid pattern. This lack of imagination is adequately balanced against the comedians of the scientific community; those brave zoologists that dare to prove that science and humour are not mutually exclusive. Here are some personal favourite naming puns, best read aloud: Agra vation (carabid), Apopyllus now (spider), Heerz lukenatcha (braconid), La cucaracha (pyralid), Pieza kake (mythicomyiid fly), and Verae peculya (braconid).
“It is relatively common for zoologists to feel the need to immortalise their favourite celebrities by naming new species in their honour”
Sometimes scientific names are interesting for reasons other than their creativity or lack thereof. It is relatively common for zoologists to feel the need to immortalise their favourite celebrities by naming new species in their honour. These can include famous writers: Khamul tolkieni (amphipod) and Legionella shakespearei (bacterium); musicians and songs: Heteropoda davidbowie (spider), Avalanchurus lennoni, A. starri and Struszia mccartneyi (trilobites named after members of the Beatles) and Preseucoila imallshookupis (a gall wasp named after the famous song by Elvis Presley); actors and broadcasters: Agra schwarzeneggeri (a carabid or ground beetle), Crikey steveirwini (a ground snail named after Steve Irwin) and Ctenocheloides attenboroughi (ghost shrimp), Prethopalpus attenboroughi (goblin spider) named after the wildlife presenter Sir David Attenborough. While this is generally intended as a compliment, these next examples demonstrate the perils of angering a zoologist. The description of Isbergia planifrons, a species of trilobite described by Swedish paleontologist Elsa Warburg, was intended as an insult towards her peer Orvar Isberg. The name platifrons meaning “with a flat forehead”, translates to stupid in their native tongue. In retaliation, Isberg named a species of ordavician mussel Warburgia crassa; with crassa simply meaning “fat”. Sometimes even this display of civility is too much to describe how you really feel as in the case of the genus Foadia described by Pakaluk in 1985; with FOAD being an acronym for “F*** Off and Die”. Despite the endless records of s p e c i e s named with the apparent intention of making their use as difficult as possible, there are those keen on making life that much easier on the bewildered student by producing scientific names that are memorable for reasons of familiarity, hilarity or hostility. Whatever the reason may be, these mavericks out there are to be praised and so to them we say thank Image: Elmar J. Lordemann you.
The Courier
puzzles.35
Monday 1 December 2014
Puzzles 1
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Puzzles Editor: Kate Bennett
Courier Catch- phrase
See if you can guess (catch) the common idiom (phrase) shown in these picture combos?
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“I’m Roy Walker and I heartily endorse this event and/or product”
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1 Happy Mondays frontman (5, 5) 5 Reindeer; Canadian electronica artist (7) 7 Variety of edible sea snail (5) 8 To accuse someone in high public office (7) 9 Small bush (7) 11 Sinister (5) 13 Hard substance found in hives (7) 15 Witholding assets in order to use them not for their intended purpose (8) 19 Big cat; luxury car brand (6) 20 China clay (6) 22 ‘Hipster’ area of Brooklyn, New York (12)
For even more news, views, sports and culture, make sure you head over to thecourieronline. co.uk
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1 Desecration (9) 2 Young person (5) 3 Automated music-playing device (7) 4 Actor, played ‘The Fonz’ (12) 6 Censure (5) 10 Shallow lake (4) 12 Danger (3) 14 Alternate spelling of Russian monarch (4) 16 Doughnut-shaped Polish bread product (5)
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Find the word that con- nects these three words. Hint: Hollow circular shape
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36.sportfeatures 1
Monday 1 December 2014
So gehen die Deutschen
It only comes around every four years but the world Cup is always the event to anticipate for all football fans but is often an anti-climax. Brazil 2014 did not disappoint and threw a few surprises along the way. England always disappoint on the big stage so 2014 was no exception. However, Spain’s capitulation was very surprising. We will all remember that incredible Van Persie header that started the long awaited demise of the all-conquer-
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ing Spanish with their boring tika taka football. There’s always the odd surprise package at international football tournaments and this time around it was Costa Rica; who with the assistance of Keylor Navas in goal did impressively well to get to the quarter finals from a group they were expected to be the wooden spoonists. Other features such as Van Gaal’s 3-52 formation and attractive football; the sexy volleys from Tim Cahill and James
Rodriguez, the collapse of Brazil in the latter stages (7-1 to Germany and then 3-0 to Holand); not so much Luis Suarez’s mad act of cannibalism on Chiellini. The final always has special moments and Gotze’s winner in extra time giving this current crop of German superstars gave them a well deserved title. Michael Rowan
Heroes of 2014 4
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Germany lifted the trophy after defeating Argentina in the final Photography by Getty Images
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The $51 billion Winterland
The 2014 Winter Olympic Games held in Sochi overcame numerous barriers on it’s way to becoming a sporting highlight of the year, such as fears over the safety of LGBT athletes and spectators following legislation from the Russian government, as well as a malfunctioning giant snowflake in the opening ceremony and allegations of unfinished accommodation and venues. Great Britain won gold through Lizzy Yarnold in the women’s skeleton while exciting new events such as half-pipe skiing and snowboard parallel slalom were added to the competition. The Brits also came away with silver in the men’s curling and bronzes from their female counterparts and Jenny Jones on the snowboard slopestyle, another new event, to give Britain it’s best medals haul since 1924.
The Courier
It’s Hamiltime!
Back in March, I predicted that Lewis Hamilton would be delivering a second world title in 2014 and he duly delivered despite some reliability issues through the year. The spectre of double points at Abu Dhabi meant tensions were high going into the decider. Within seconds of the start, those tensions had evaporated. A sensational start saw Hamilton pass Rosberg within the first few seconds of the race. British racing fans nationwide would surely have been celebrating. Hamilton drove a masterclass as Rosberg eventually got his equal share of unreliability issues in the closing stages to put the destiny of the title beyond any doubt. After 11 wins in the season and two runs of four consecutive wins; Hamilton was beyond doubt the deserved champion and is definitely my shout for sports personality of the year.
Hamilton topped the overall F1 ranking with 384 points Photography by Getty Images
Michael Rowan
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La Decima
Winning five European competitions in a row is historical enough but becoming the first team to win the historic tournament 10 times cements Real Madrid’s name in the history books of football. The final underlined Madrid’s dominance coming out easy victors with a 4-1 win over local rivals Atletico Madrid.
The winners had a nervous start going 1-0 down in the first half and waiting until the 90th minute to equalise. Yet, their class eventually prevailed and they ran away with the game in the end. What’s football without a bit of drama? Stuart Ward
The Sochi Winter Olympics were the most expensive ones in history Photography by Getty Images
Alex Hendley
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The King of La Liga
Messi needed 11 seasons and 289 matches to break Zarra’s record Photography by Getty Images
Well, you knew this was coming, right? You knew it years ago. And there it is – Lionel Messi broke the all-time La Liga scoring record. On 22 November, the Argentinian bagged a hat-trick against Sevilla (5-1) to nail his 253th goal surpassing the mythical Telmo Zarra’s 251. Expected, yet, at the same time, mindblowing. “An unreachable record”, his current coach Luis Enrique stated. By the look of it, this seems like an accurate prediction. At 27 years of age, Lionel Messi has become the youngest living legend in football. With more than 370 goals for Barcelona, his one and only club, the little magician knows no boundaries. King of La Liga? Not enough. He wants more. Peter Georgiev
Cristiano Ronaldo became the top CL goalscorer with his 17 goals Photography by Getty Images
The Courier
sportfeatures.37
Monday 1 December 2014
As the year comes to a close, 9 let’s take a look back at the most memorable events that have dominated the sporting world over the last twelve months
Burnley are back
A small town in Lancashire, with the smallest town population ever to reach the Barclays Premier league, was thrust once more into the breach this summer. Burnley were promoted to the top flight once more with numerous records and a certain orange bearded manager by the name of Sean Dyche guiding them there. What is known as the ‘Vings’ partner-
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Josh Nicholson
running out a comfortable 22-9 scoreline. The red roses had finished as runners-up in the previous three tournaments, this year they went one better bringing home the trophy for the second time in their history. Calum Wilson
England recorded four victories and a single draw on their way to the title Photography by Getty Images
Glee in Glasgow
In a competition opened by the mighty John Barrowman, Scotland held the Games for the third time and along with England and Wales beat their personal gold medal record, putting on a magnificent show in the process. England came top of the pile for the first time since 1986, with standout performances from Claudia Fragapane winning four golds in gymnastics and Adam Gemini who won silver in the
men’s 100 metres. Meanwhile, Kiribati won their first ever gold medal when David Katoatau came out victorious in the 105kg men’s weightlifting. Lastly, in swimming, Scotland’s Erraid Davies claimed the bronze at the age of just 13, becoming the nations youngest ever medal winner. Alex Hendley
Glasgow became the second Scottish city to ever host the Games after Edinburgh Photography by Getty Images
Burnley earned their PL promotion by beating Wigan in the play-off Photography by Getty Images
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Sports Editor Peter Georgiev inspects the most bizarre moments from the sporting world this week
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English women win
If you were to ask 100 people how England faired in the summer of 2014, 99% of us will think first of Roy Hodgson and his side’s miserable attempt to bring back glory in Brazil. Think instead of women’s rugby. On 17 August, the England Women’s Rugby team made history by winning the World Cup final against Canada,
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ship of top goalscorers Danny Ings and Sam Vokes fired Burnley to second in the League and spurred them to a record numbers of wins in a row and wins in a season. The Clarets proved that money still isn’t everything in football and gained many fans along the way.
More glory for Rory
One of the most exciting talents in golf the world has seen since Tiger Woods, Rory Mcllroy had a triumphant second half of 2014 with several notable accomplishments. He reclaimed the world number one title from Adam Scott in August, he helped Europe to their third consecutive Ryder Cup, playing in Europe. The most remarkable achievement for him was winning both the Open Championship and PGA Championship, the final two majors of the season. His victories put him in the esteemed company of Jack Nicklaus and Tiger Woods as the only three people to win 3 majors by the age of 25. The sky is the limit for Rory and only the Masters tournament eludes him. 2015 may just be the year. Huezin Lim
Ludogorets entered the CL after a staggering penalty shootout Photography by Getty Images
McIlroy sprayed champaigne to to celebrate Europe’s Ryder Cup victory Photography by Getty Images
10 Davis Cup in Swiss arms With 17 Grand Slam titles, Roger Federer had long ago acquired the legendary status in tennis. However, until 23 November this year, there was one title missing from his cabinet. Not anymore. After defeating Richard Gasquet (6-4, 6-2, 6-2), Federer earned himself and Switzerland a historic first Davis Cup trophy. Of course, this would not have happened without his strong partnership
verybody loves an underdog. The rise of the dark horse that leaves your jaw dropped and restores your belief in genuine sporting miracles. But forget all glorious tales you have ever heard. For there isn’t a more dramatic fable than the one of Ludogorets Razgrad. Last Wednesday, the extraordinary Bulgarians, whose name is literally translated as Crazyforest, snatched a famous 2-2 draw against Liverpool with an equalizer in the 88th minute. Not a big deal, you might say. Liverpool are an absolute disaster anyway. However, there is much more to that story. It all started back in 2012. In their first European appearance, Ludogorets faced Dinamo Zagreb only to be eliminated 4-3 on aggregate with a shocker in the 98th minute. Drowned in tears, the rookies had to learn their lesson the hard way before capturing their second chance. Thus, began a mindblowing last-gasp goalfest which seemed to be taken straight out of a Hollywood blockbuster.
with the other Swiss best - Stan Wawrinka. Winning in both singles and doubles, World No. 2 and No. 4 helped their home country cruise to a famous 3-1 victory in the final against France. Their dominance marked one of the most memorable moments in sporting history of Switzerland – the new tennis World Cup champion. Peter Georgiev
Federer and Wawrinka led the Swiss team to a historic triumph Photography by Getty Images
Next year, Ludogorets came back in Europe to throw out Partisan on the 88th minute mark entering the Europa League group stage. Their splendid run looked doomed in the 1/16-finals against Lazio but another 88th-minute stunner by Juninho Quixadá knocked out the Italians. However, Ludogorets weren’t done. Their motto reads “The best is yet to come”. And so it did. In August 2014, The Eagles met Steaua Bucharest in a duel for a spot in the Champions League, a place which the outsiders had never even dreamt of reaching. In perhaps the most spectacular playoff in the history of this competition, the Romanians snatched a 1-0 victory and Ludogorets prayed for another miracle in the second leg to get them through. Then, in the 90th minute, it happened. A magical volley by Wanderson levelled the scoreline and sent the game in overtime and eventually penalties. With goalkeeper Vladislav Stoyanov sent-off, defender Cosmin Moti had to go in goal and use his hands rather than his legs. Two brilliant saves from Moti and Ludogorets were marching through the Champions League gates to celebrate a historic success. Still, even this wasn’t enough for the Eagles. Another stoppage time equalizer against Liverpool at Anfield opened their goal record. After that, it was right-back Yordan Minev who cracked a 91st-minute winner against Basel before Georgi Terziev denied the Merseysiders with a late header last week. So, you know them now. Ludogorets Razgrad – the underdogs who never gave up. Can’t pronounce their name? Don’t worry. Just keep the Bulgarians under your radar. The next crazy epilogue might lurk just inside the forest. Illustration by Daisy Billowes
38.sportintramural&bucs
Monday 1 December 2014
The Courier
Netballers unfortunate in loss
Netball
and should all be proud of their teamwork and determination. NUNC 4ths 23-43 Sheffield 1sts
By Abi Dodwell at The Sports Centre
NUNC 1sts 27-56 Leeds Beckett 1sts The first quarter started off dynamically as Newcastle proved with their exceptional fitness that they could keep up with Leeds and gain impressive steals consistently. They kept their momentum going for the first quarter and manage to remain close to Leeds score heading into the second quarter. However despite Mia Archer and Alice Hagyard’s great steals all down the court, Leeds began to pull away as by half time Leeds were up 28-11. Entering the second half Newcastle were still determined to keep focused and continue their superb level of play consequently playing a stormer in the third quarter. But despite Emily Whiteside’s on point shooting which earned her player of the match, Newcastle were unable to catch up to Leeds and went into the final quarter still trailing behind. But this did not let Newcastle’s spirit’s drop as they still fought for every single ball. Although Newcastle left with a loss they still played their hardest
Newcastle started off really strong with there being only one goal between the two teams for the whole first quarters they played their own game and controlled the pace of the ball. In the second quarter Newcastle were still playing strong with some great interceptions from Ellie Rutter in defence. But unfortunately by half time it was 21-15 to Sheffield. The tough opposition from Sheffield meant that Newcastle’s heads began to drop causing the gap in score to increase. But Jess wheeler (player of the match) and Steph Garfield were fighting hard against a very feisty defence and did well to keep the score high for the team. Unfortunately, in the end the incredible fitness and strength from Sheffield overpowered Newcastle in the final quarter giving them the win. But captain Isa Telford was still thrilled by the effort her team put forward saying that ‘considering that they are two leagues above us we did very well and the score did not reflect our excellent play’.
Newcastle’s Ladies did not manage to capitalise on their home advantage Photography by Abi Dodwell
The Four Musketeers Honours dispatch slay another enemy Rodallega Bombs Fencing Newcastle 1st
135
Birmingham 1st
77
By Daniel Ming at The Sports Centre The male Fencing team clashed with Birmingham at home with the usual team of skipper Sam ‘The Volcano’ Ridley, Daniel ‘Calves’ Ming, Andrew ‘Long’ Dixon and Daniel ‘The Gambler’ Remedios. Newcastle came into the match flooded with confidence having previously beat the West Midlands side away, despite the absence of Dixon and a long coach journey. Surely the home advantage and return of a regular team member with the wingspan of an albatross would mean victory? Having won the toss, Newcastle elected to begin with foil. The boys didn’t disappoint and got straight to the point with several strong opening matches. Remedios who fences for Macau was in full flow, pulling all the tricks out of the bag to ensure a strong lead for the team who are currently on track to be Team Newcastle’s first premiership champions in any sport after several years. Ridley and Ming attacked their way to a comprehensive victory, extending the good work from their team mate and setting up a comfort zone. Equipment issues from the opposition meant lending working weapons to the Birmingham side, however from the already apparent superior skill and experience from the men of Newcastle, they could have been the length of a javelin without any difference being made. With the foil won, it was on to sabre. Dixon subbed in for Ridley in what promised to be a fast paced match. Sabre, the fastest and most explosive of all the weapons, is men’s team’s Achilles heel with no specialists in the category. However, by combining a mixture of
speed, power and determination, the weak heel is slowly being strapped up. Remedios impressed again using lightning footwork to chase his opponents down the piste before exploding into a lunge to score point after point whilst Ming used his speed of hand to parry and block any shots being fired his way. The team were never in any trouble with a fine display from club president, Dixon, who continued to shovel dirt onto the grave with a blend of attack and defence that any army could hope for. Once again, Newcastle ran out winners before finishing with the team’s strongest weapon, epee. With three seasoned GBR international epeeists, the main damage is usually done in what is often known as the most difficult of all three weapons due to the simple rules. Whoever hits first scores, with every part of the body being the target. A rejuvenated Ridley tagged in for Remedios and exploded on the
Newcastle will face Durham in a premiership showdown next week Photography by Daniel Ming
piste, scoring outstanding hits all over his opponents target area. Dixon’s outstanding point control came in handy, hitting the Brum side repeatedly on the wrist in what could only be described by the opposition as a blur. Ming, now fencing in third weapon dug deep to keep the tempo high to tire his opponents and lure them into traps to use his trademark moves to score the winning points before Ridley hammered the final nail in the coffin to end the match. Newcastle 135, Birmingham 77. Next week the boys will take on Durham away in what looks to be the premiership decider, having beaten their rivals by six points at home earlier this year. Surely, a mixture of experience, training and preparation could see the team crown themselves as premiership champions but until then they will be staying wrapped in bubble wrap to ensure they’re fighting fit next Wednesday.
Intramural Football Rodallega Bombs
3
Combined Honours
8
By Dominic Simpson at Longbenton Wednesday’s Intra Mural match between Combined Honours and Rodallega Bombs on the 3G pitch at Longbenton was played in peculiar circumstances since Rodallega Bombs only managed to field nine players. After their 7-1 win last time out, Combined went into the game full of confidence despite missing captain Rob Noyes. Their opponents, however, were hoping to lift themselves off the bottom of the table and secure their first win of the season with their team name proving somewhat ironic. Predictably, the extra men for Combined were telling from the off and they took an early lead when a Rodallega Bombs defender headed into his own net. Shortly after, it was déjà vu as Combined doubled their lead thanks to another headed own goal. Tom Brewin, who was making only his second appearance for Combined, added a third mid-way through the first half with a powerful header which left the goalkeeper stranded, to cement a substantial early lead. With Combined continuing to create chances, Rodallega Bombs ’s hopes of mounting a serious response suffered a blow when Combined made their dominance pay and shortly before half time and made it 4-0 through Dan Walker’s low strike. Rodallega Bombs did not give up though and against the run of play in first half injury time their striker halted some of Combined’s momentum when he took advantage of some sloppy play in midfield to punish Combined as the deficit was reduced to 4-1 which gave Rodallega Bombs a glimmer of hope going into the interval.
Any chance of a miraculous comeback was quashed in the first few minutes of the restart, however. George Southworth was the creator for Tom Brewin to slam home his second of the game before a pin point corner from Dominic Simpson whose pace and directness on the wing had caused Rodallega Bombs ’s left-back problems throughout picked out Southworth whose deflected shot ended up in the back of the net. The nine men of Rodallega Bombs still provided some threat on the counter-attack and refused to give up even in the face of impossible odds. Their striker again briefly interrupted the one-way flow towards their own goal by beating the reliable Jasper Litchfield in goal to score his and his team’s second and third goals of the game with two fine strikes to add some respectability to the scoreline and make it 6-3. It made little difference though amid the carnage of the match as the nine men of Rodallega Bombs were swept aside as a torrent of goals, near misses and saves from their exposed goalkeeper ensured it was an uncomfortable afternoon for the bottom of the table team. Combined were in a ruthless mood and a late surge was yet to come as they continued to take advantage of the space at the back. A close-range strike added gloss to the score line but the best was saved until last with arguably the goal of the game. A short corner was played to captain for the day; Josh Dalton who had the time and space to pick out the top corner from a tight angle, inflicted a final wound and completed the rout to make the final score 8-3. Rodallega Bombs , however, can be pleased with their efforts and their never-give-up attitude even with only nine players. After five games and a slow start to the season for Combined Honours, they have hit some form and sit fifth in the league. Hangover 96, however, are still bottom with their goal difference taking a battering.
The Courier
sportbucs.39
Monday 1 December 2014
Ladies tear Birmingham to pieces Women’s Rugby Newcastle 1sts
39
Birmingham 1sts
7
By Ashleigh Currie at Heaton On a dreary, windy and rainy day, Newcastle Women’s Rugby girls filed out onto the pitch at Heaton in full force and with their game faces on, knowing the importance of the match ahead against Birmingham. Having been thrashed by the Loughborough ladies last week away from home, the team were hoping that home advantage would be enough against the bottom-placed Birmingham girls. The ladies needed a win over the Brum girls in order to keep their position in the league. Despite the miserable weather, spirits were high and NWR start with a cracking kick from second row, Tash Robson and chase down from the whole team. The first 15 minutes saw NWR at their very best, with immense pressure from Captain Shauna Buckley, Prop, Beth Robinson and Scrum Half, Olly Critchley leading to a knock on from the Brum girls which NWR immediately took advantage of, with the first try of the match being scored by Critchley. A conversion by Robson put NWR in a good position and the early initiative by the Newcastle ladies set the scene for the rest of the game. Newcastle’s dominance shook the confidence and spirit of the Birmingham girls, and they were forced to knock on when receiving the kick off. Fantastic line speed from inside centre
Pip Serebriakoff and the backs led to more knock ons from the Brum girls allowing NWR to lead the scrums and maintain possession of the ball. Some silly mistakes from NWR give the Brum girls a penalty, which was quickly shut down by Buckley with some forceful tackles. The opposition girls attacked back and finally broke through the Newcastle defence to score a try, which was also converted. Some strong tackles, good carries and quick runs saw NWR strike back immediately and the half time score was set at 12-7 to NWR. With a strong talking to during half time, the Newcastle ladies knew they had to up their game and get more points over the clearly weaker Birmingham side and a look at the final score showed that the second half was a dominant one by Newcastle. The second half saw NWR really come into their own and work cohesively as a team. Amazing pick and goes and carries from the forwards led eventually to Elle Bloor, Hooker, who finds space on the wing and gains a try in the corner, taking the score to 17-7 to NWR. Solid catches from the kick off by Flanker Olivia Hart, fancy footwork from Full Back and Vice Captain, Sam West and strong runs from Outside Centre, Sarah Barker put NWR in a dominant position, putting point after point on the Brum girls with tries scored by Winger, Lauren Wallace and Robson. 80 muddy minutes finally came to an end to the relief of the Birmingham ladies and Newcastle Women’s Rugby won the match with a healthy final score of 39-7.
Newcastle produced a dominant performance against the visitors Photography by Ashleigh Currie
Invincible paddlers top division Men’s Table Tennis Newcastle 1sts
16
Leeds Beckett 1sts
1
By Huezin Lim at The Sports Centre Table tennis here in Newcastle had a torrid year in the BUCS Northern 1A league in 2013/2014, coming in last with three wins and seven losses overall, they faced strong teams like Sheffield and Liverpool within their league but went to the quarter-finals in the BUCS Tournament, losing to eventual finalists Sheffield Hallam. In the 2014/2015 season however, they have rebounded strongly and command a perfect record of 4–0, winning 59 matches and only dropping nine matches. The Newcastle table tennis team is either much stronger than last year, or their opponents are significantly weaker, one can only hope it is the former. Against Leeds Beckett 1sts, who are close to the bottom of the table, Newcastle were expected to win their match-ups comfortably and from the first round of matches, the gulf in quality was clear. From Newcastle we had Graeme Barella, Matthew Yu, Matthew Stemens and George Falcus. One of the players of Leeds, Oliver Titterington was struggling with the pace of player from Graeme. It was a close encounter with the second game going to beyond eleven and deuce. There were plenty of mistakes from both players in terms of
service errors but it was a very friendly encounter between both players with banter throughout. The rallies were very patient in the first encounter between captain Graeme and Oliver with both players going neck and neck throughout the encounters. Despite the competitiveness, it was refreshing to see that they were smiling throughout the game which is not com-
mon in BUCS matches. One of the most competitive matches, which went down to the final game was between Newcastle no.4 George and Leeds no.1 Ryan Taylor. The Newcastle south-paw played aggressively with his backhand but Leeds were equal to it throughout. In the other matches, Newcastle’s no. 2 Matthew Yu was dominating the Leeds
player with a wide variety of spins and he could not find an answer throughout. He won all four of his matches comfortably in straight sets and he never seemed troubled at any point throughout the matches, keeping a cool head and a sweet smile. Newcastle was dominating the opponents and there was a clear difference in class. The no. 4 player George was play-
Captain Graeme Barella led his team to an undisputed victory Photography by Huezin Lim
ing his opponent Oliver like a fiddle and his teammates’ advice from the sideline could hardly stem the tide. One of the silent workers, Matthew Stemens, took opportunities and high serves from his opponents gladly and attacked quickly and decisively without being asked twice. He was one of the unnoticed players as there were four tables on-going at once, but as befitting of the team as a whole. One highlight of the day’s proceedings was between the two no. 1 players. Graeme at 10-9 had match point but a letcord on serve meant he had another serve. With the opportunity to finish the match, a side-spun serve did the trick and his Leeds opponent sent the return into the net, winning another match for Newcastle. That brought the overall tally to 6 matches to 0. Collectively, the games tended to run pretty close but the Newcastle had the experience and technique to close out the crucial points towards the end of the game which made all the difference. Matthew Yu was taken to the wire for the final game of the match. Taken to 1010 a shot by his opponent, who grazed the net and took one match point, Yu’s opponent had another opportunity with a massive rally between both the players. Fortunately Yu won that and set up another match point opportunity. With a few topspin drives, he won the match. It was clear that Leeds Beckett were no match for the Newcastle lads and with neighbours, Northumbria and Durham up next, there is nothing stopping the team from winning the Division with a perfect record.
Sport
www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 1 December 2014 Issue 1302 Free
thecourieronline.co.uk/sport
Sports Editors: Peter Georgiev, Jonty Mawer & Huezin Lim Online Sports Editor: Josh Nicholson courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Sport
Women’s rugby smash Birmingham 39-7 p. 39
Hockey 1sts cruise to cup quarters By Josh Nicholson at Longbenton The saying ‘it’s grim up north’ has never applied so aptly as last Wednesday’s Conference cup match at Longbenton. With the icy rain falling and the temperature at below zero, the men’s first team followed the women’s victory earlier with a fine display to dispatch Manchester Met with a 4-1 victory in the Conference Cup. The game started at a frenzied tempo with chances at both ends with long passes going astray on a wet surface from both teams. The first goal, however, came on the 15 minute mark with Newcastle’s forwards pouncing on a mistake from the Manchester goal keeper to mark it 1-0. This slender lead gave the team in blue a chance to control possession. Although the defence was composed on the ball, hoping to create chances, there was just enough solidarity in the MMU defence to keep ‘Castle’, as the team seems to call it, from scoring again. Up to the twenty-five minute mark, both teams battled furiously to gain the upper hand, with Newcastle seemingly in the ascendancy. Finally, a chance came from the left wing, a testament to Newcastle’s effective utilization of the pace of their forwards in this area. Having constructed a scintillating move, 3 attackers closed in to force a brilliant save out of the MMU goalkeeper who was worked hard over the whole game. Newcastle, however, did not have it all their own way in the first half, with Man-
chester looking particularly dangerous on the attack. It was on the thirty-minute mark when finally Manchester got some joy on the edge of the Newcastle area. It took four defenders to stop the forward from capping what would have been a glorious goal for the left-winger, but the defence held on and again the MMU attack broke down. Around this time the weather took yet another turn for the worse with the rain immeasurably changing the playing conditions. Clearly, the weather had taken its toll on the Newcastle bench with one member of the team employing the “bump and grind” tactic on a fellow player who was
first with both teams trying to control the game from the back, with the midfield remaining the harshest battleground. It was Manchester who had the chance of the half after pressuring the Newcastle defence high up the pitch the center forward fortunately put his shot past the post. In a game that lacked a sense of panache, a piece of inspiration was needed to spark the game into full life from its second half slumber. This came when the ever present, ever working, Manchester number nine cynically tripped Newcastle’s right-winger as he tried to get up to fully speed. Unfortunately the
“Wave after wave of Newcastle attacks brought more pressure onto the MMU back line which finally faltered”
waiting to enter the field of play. Team bonding at it’s finest. Whether it was this physical cohesion that led to Uni’s converted penalty corner would remain unknown however with a good finish, the team in blue went 2-0 and started to cruise. Chances at both ends were at a premium in the first half with both attacks struggling in the weather. Near the stroke of half time, Manchester won a penalty corner which could well have changed the game had it been converted however the Newcastle defence stood firm to keep the score at 2-0 going into half time. The second half started much like the
tackle brought an injury for the winger who was forced to sit on a bench that had now formed icicles underneath the seating. Uni pressure increased but the breakthrough still did not come. Wave after wave of Newcastle attacks brought more pressure onto the MMU back line which finally faltered. Leading to another welltimed goal for the side now looking comfortable at 3-0 up with 20 minutes to go on the clock. For all the strong defending that Newcastle did there was one momentary lapse for the Manchester fans to get their teeth into when the forwards combined to slot past a helpless Newcastle keeper.
The highlight of the game was the goal that won the match for the University. With the number seventeen going on a mazy run down the right hand side of the pitch sailing past four defenders, who may as well not have been there, before unselfishly crossing the ball for the on rushing center forward to finish from a yard out with aplomb. At 4-1 up Newcastle could now control and fully assert their control over the game with another MMU player being sent to the sin bin and another being penalized for screaming at his defence that what they were doing was “a fucking joke and was not on”. The only problem being that the defenders are defenders for a reason and not everyone can rage forward in a “Louis Van Gaal ten-man attack” at all times. One local hockey player who watches the University team, “whenever his wife allows him”, said that this performance “was probably one of the best he’d seen from the lads, it wasn’t one for the fans but the work rate from Newcastle was fantastic to see”. He added further that “the defence looked strong which is something I think they’ve lacked a little in previous years, this year looks promising and they are playing some lovely hockey”. A solid performance in difficult conditions from Newcastle which sees them progress on and will have them dreaming of a strong conference cup run; something which on the basis of this performance could well be on the cards from a very competitive looking men’s side.
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2014: THE BEST BITS
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PING PONG DING DONG