www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 24 November 2014 Issue 1301 Free
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The Independent Voice of Newcastle Students
The best and worst seasonal one night only - and treats rated and slated p.14 we were there p. 26
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What counts as normal in the fashion world? p. 16
Ricky Roaders lose hot water and heating for nine days By Charlie Dearnley & Kate Dewey News Editors
Chill behaviour: PhD student completes marathon in -20ºC p.3
Marking boycott suspended whilst negotiations take place
By Kate Dewey News Editor The marking boycott undertaken by University and College Union (UCU) members on 6 November has come to a temporary halt. As a result of a Higher Education Committee (HEC) meeting on 19 November it has been decided that negotiations will take place regarding the Universities Superannuation Scheme’s (USS) proposed changes to pension schemes. UCU and Universities UK (UUK) have agreed to a series of meetings in which they intend to negotiate the issue between now and January. The suspension will last until 15 January. If a conclusion is not reached by this date, then UCU intend to resume their strike action. Some UCU members were striking in response to the potential cuts to their pensions by refusing to mark and provide feedback on students’ work. Striking staff feared that pay sanctions would be imposed as a result of their action but University spokesperson Lesley
Braiden, Director of Student Services, stated: “In accordance with the national agreement, Newcastle University will not be applying its policy on the withholding of pay for breach of contract, in respect of those staff who advised that they were participating in the action between 6 and 19 November. “This development is encouraging, and we hope that it gives both parties the time and opportunity to reach an agreed solution.” Dr. Lucy Pearson, Lecturer in Children’s Literature and one of the UCU’s representatives in the School of English Literature, Language and Linguistics said: “Speaking personally, the decision to participate in a setting and marking boycott was a difficult one. I care passionately about my students and it is difficult for me to take action which impacts on them. “However, the proposed changes to the USS pension scheme are so catastrophic that I felt it was important for the UCU to speak out and to take action which would demonstrate the depth of
feeling on this issue. I fear that if the proposed changes to the USS were to go ahead, it would not only impact on my pension and those of my colleagues (in effect substantially cutting our pay), it would also deter the best and brightest from coming to work in our sector, impacting negatively on students on the future.” The UCU have published rough figures about the financial consequences the suggested changes would have. Roughly, each UCU member would lose around a quarter of a million pounds in pension payments during the time period they would be claiming their pensions. The argument put forward by the USS is that the changes are necessary because they are in a financial deficit estimated to be around £8bn. However, the UCU question the evidence put forward by the USS and reasoning for the cuts. Senior Lecturer in Linguistics, Dr. Geoffrey Poole, said in a meeting held with students on 10 November: “It’s not even clear that there is a problem”.
UCU members took strike action because they doubt the reasons put forward for the proposed changes to their pension schemes. However, for the time being striking staff will resume normal marking standards and procedure whilst the negotiations are taking place. Sally Hunt, General Secretary for the UCU, released a statement on the UCU website that the Union and UUK: “are committed to seeking a joint proposal for reform that offers an affordable, sustainable and attractive pension scheme, for both current and future members. Both parties are pleased that the agreement to suspend industrial action at this early stage will mean that students will not have been adversely affected and members of staff will not have had pay deducted.” Lucy Pearson commented: “I am very pleased that the UUK has agreed to negotiate on this issue [...]It’s been a pleasure seeing students today and being able to tell them that I will be marking the essay they have just handed in.”
Hot water was unavailable in Richardson Road for nine days between 12 and 20 November, leaving students without hot showers and heating. In a statement to the Courier, the University said: “Heating and hot water to blocks 1–10 Richardson Road were disrupted due to a burst pipe on 12 November 2014. In order to carry out the repair, a part had to be specially manufactured. The spare part was delivered to site on Thursday 20 November and maintenance staff completed the works on the same day. Heating and hot water were restored and are now fully operational. “To limit the disruption to our students, we provided them with portable heaters and offered alternative shower facilities. We apologise to our students for the inconvenience and have made an offer of compensation to reflect the loss of service and inconvenience caused.” Residents will receive £60 in compensation. However, many of the site’s occupants are still unhappy with the speed at which the issue was dealt with. Jake Harries, first year History student and tenant of block six said: “It was a real pain. They wouldn’t fix it on the weekend as they would have had to call in an emergency plumber. Things like this shouldn’t happen. They gave us a temporary heater but you can’t have too many of them on otherwise you short circuit the electricity in the flat. You only get one for the lounge so the bedrooms are all really cold.” Martin Jolly, first year Civil Engineering student added: “It just annoyed me as we kept getting emails saying it would get fixed. They provided various excuses like the parts aren’t here yet and blamed the weather for the delay in fixing the pipes.” Megan Moore, first year GIS student said that the hot water incident left her feeling “sad”. She continued: “There were no queues at the Sports Centre. But it was a pain as you’d have to walk all the way to the showers there, you’d get warm and then have to walk back in the cold. It was either that or take a really cold shower in your flat.” Her housemates jokingly agreed: “We Smeagol’d quite a bit, but it was alright because we all smelled the same, so we didn’t realise that we smelled bad.”
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Monday 24 November 2014
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Sexual health week returns to Union
- John Lubbock
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Residential
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Cat attack
A region-wide search by more than 100 French police and firefighters has been sparked following reports of a big cat roaming Montevrain in the Seine et Marne District of France. According to witnesses, the animal is a tiger, although no zoos or circuses have reported any tigers missing. The emergency services have been joined in their search by the Army. Advice is not to panic at the sight of the elusive feline. J. Patrick Fischer
Technology
There’s an app for that Three Singaporean students have been awarded S$30,000 to develop an app that encourages people to stop using their smartphones. The app is called Apple Tree and is designed to make people spend more time talking face to face and less time being glued to smartphones. The app works by immobilising users phones when two or more people put their phones together. The incentive is that an apple tree grows across the screens, producing digital fruit. These digital apples can be harvested and exchanged for rewards. The app won the annual Splash Awards, which featured the theme of “Bringing Singaporeans Closer Together” and will be released for free in March next year.
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A curious affair
A business described as the first global cannabis brand has been launched by the family of the late reggae artist, Bob Marley. Marley, who became synonymous with the use of the drug, embraced its use as part of his Rastafarian faith, and was a key campaigner for its legalisation. Marley’s daughter, Cedella, said that, “My dad would be so happy to see people understanding the healing power of the herb”. The new business, called Marley Natural, will sell a variety of cannabis infused lotions and creams as well as accessories. The brand is being developed with the financial backing of Washington based Privateer Holdings and it is hoped the business will begin operating next year in the US, where the States of Colorado and Washington have legalised the drug’s use for recreational purposes.
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The Courier
Thomas Montague
Christmas
Rudolph’s new job
Police patrolling Northern Siberia in Russia are considering replacing their snowmobiles with reindeer. In a region that is almost always frozen, police have been struggling due to a lack of reliability from their snowmobiles and can sometimes make it harder to transport people back to the police station. Irina Pimkina, from the region’s Interior Ministry, told the Izvestia newspaper that they were considering the change because, unlike machines, “deer will run at all times”. Some of the criminals the police chase are already making use of the reindeer due to them being ideally suited to the environment. Elen Schurova
Celebrity
Good deeds
Sam Simon, co-creator of The Simpsons, has rescued a gay bull named Benjy. He’s paid £5000 to stop him from being sent to an abattoir for failing to impregnate any female cows this year. Vets at the County Mayo farm had said he was fertile but was more attracted to the bull that was purchased to replace him. Sam Simon heard about the bull after a worldwide campaign was launched by TheGayUK, PETA and the Animal Rights Action Network (ARAN). Simon said: “It thrills me to help PETA and ARAN make Benjy’s fate a sanctuary rather than a sandwich”. Benjy will now be moved to the Hillside Animal Sanctuary in Norfolk.
Discoveries
Gaming gain
Officials in the New Mexico City of Alamogordo have raised $37,000 in an online auction from selling off games they found buried in a landfill site. Among the haul was a copy of what critics have called the ‘worst game ever’Atari’s ET, a game rushed to market following the release of Steven Spielberg’s 1982 classic. There have long been rumours that Atari buried millions of copies of the game which failed to sell following its description as a flop. The lost copy sold for $1,537 on eBay.
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Jason H. Smith
Crime
Santa Caught
Police in Australia are hunting a man dressed as Santa after he robbed a post office in Melbourne. The man, who spared no efforts in his disguise, was wearing the full red jacket and trousers, complete with black boots and a white beard and hair. CCTV footage of the incident showed him demanding money from a female member of staff who hands the money over. Bemused customers thought it was all an intricate joke. Dan Century
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The Courier
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Monday 24 November 2014
PhD student tackles arctic foxes, reindeer and epilepsy in world’s coldest marathon By Gabe Pennington While a rather good proportion of the country is absorbed in the idea of the Bush Tucker Trial, Asari Abdul Rashid has been caught up in a challenge on a completely different level. He isn’t your everyday Civil Engineering PhD student from Newcastle University. He isn’t even your everyday athlete. He runs marathons in the Arctic and he’s out to prove a point. Originally from Brunei in South East Asia, ‘Arctic Asari’, as he will now probably end up being dubbed, was the first Bruneian competitor in the Polar Bear Challenge in Greenland known as the ‘coolest marathon on Earth’, as competitors have to battle temperatures of -20C. The Polar Bear Challenge definitely wasn’t the typical 26-mile run he’d experienced before. It was a gruelling two-day test attracting entrants from 27 countries. It consisted of a 13-mile traverse across the arctic tundra, followed by a full marathon over the same terrain the following day.
Asari was set the task of navigating snow covered tracks and a treacherous section of the Greenland ice sheet, encountering animals such as arctic foxes, reindeer and musk-oxen. Additionally, one of the most challenging elements of the expedition for the PhD student was fitting his marathon preparation around his busy learning schedule. He managed, despite the
need in the Polar Circle Marathon.” Despite the seemingly arctic weather in Newcastle currently and his intense training regime, the adverse conditions the runners had to face came as a shock to the Bruneian athlete. “The cold, dry weather makes hydration at every drink station even more essential. It was my first time running in knee-depth snow in Greenland,
difficulty. Back home in Brunei, Asari was used to exercising early in the morning to avoid the extreme heat. In preparation for the challenge he has been training with the Tyne Bridge Harriers, who are based in Byker, since he arrived in the North East almost two years ago. “I tried to do as much preparation as possible carrying my running back pack to simulate the weight of all the layers I’d
which was extremely tough. I needed a lot more force to lift my legs off the icy landscape.” This was only made tougher by the equipment the athletes needed to keep warm and stay upright. Along with the extra weight brought about by additional layers, Asari sported short spikes attached to his shoes to help increase grip – perhaps a more suitable option than the traditional ‘tennis racquet’
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snowshoe. He completed the challenge in 38th place, with a total time of 8 hours and 30 minutes. The winner was Rengui Cai of China, who finished in 5 hours and 41 minutes. While he was extremely passionate about the physical test the Polar Bear Challenge offered, it was not the chief motivation for the experienced marathon runner’s participation. Asari is an epilepsy sufferer. He has had several seizures in the past, but manages to control the condition providing he takes medication. Having been diagnosed in 2009, doctors instructed him to reduce his sporting activity. And yet, only two years later, after ensuring his condition was under control, Asari was back in action. He completed 3 marathons and an ultramarathon (that’s a demanding 69 mile run from Carlisle to Newcastle known as ‘The Wall’). His mission: prove to himself and everyone else that having a disorder such as this doesn’t have to hold you back. “I was driven to attempt the challenge
to show even people with a disorder can do it, even when someone tells you it isn’t worth the risk.” He chose to compete in support of the BIBD Brunei ALAF Programme (Advocating Life-Long Learning for An Aspiring Future). Its aim is to improve the career prospects of underprivileged young people by helping them play an active role within their communities. For those considering taking up long distance running or targeting even more adventurous exploits, Asari has one piece of advice. “Start small and easy. Eventually these steps turn 1 mile into 5, then gradually into 10 and 20.” This was only one of the many challenges Asari has included on his bucket list. In the near future, he hopes to compete in the IRONMAN 140.6 triathlon challenge and the Petra Desert Marathon. His ultimate goal is to compete in an event on each of the continents. But what’s next for Asari? He’s planning to compete in the Everest Marathon, running downhill from Everest Base Camp.
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The most challenging moments
1. Having to adjust from the 31°C average temperatures in Brunei to -20°C in Greenland. 2. Running the first and most demanding 6 km of the marathon. It took him 17 minutes longer than the fastest competitor. 3. He had to recover from an illness he picked up only 3 days before the race.
The most inspiring moments
1. Running the full marathon alongside Professor Richard Holmes, who, at 64, was competing in his 471st marathon. 2. Witnessing breathtaking views along the route - always a motivation to keep going. 3. Planting the Brunei flag into the ice cap at the end of the race: without a doubt Asari’s proudest moment.
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Monday 24 November 2014
The Courier
Medsin launches scheme to help the homeless
the city”. They were able to get involved in the campaign in a number of ways: On the 15 and 16 November, the Med- by attending a stream of workshops on sin committee, comprising of students homelessness and health, holding up tackling local and global health in- whiteboards saying what home means equalities, hosted their annual National to them, and signing up to the St MunConference here in Newcastle. go’s Broadway campaign. There was The theme for the conference was also a chance to hear from those with ‘Changing Cities: buildfirst-hand experience of !"#$%&'(%')%*+% homelessness and find ing a healthy future together’, focussing on $,-+./&0$%1+-&1% out about their experiissues relating to the urof healthcare. A &.*#+/'*'$)%*+% ences ban environment and its local artist also provided impact on health, trans- *&2$%/$)3+,)'4'1'*5% a piece of artwork creport and communities. ated by homeless people The conference com- 6+/%*#$%#$&1*#%+6% across Newcastle and mittee is also running *#$'/%#+($1$))7 Gateshead to raise furthe ‘Homeless Not ther attention. Healthless’ campaign. Kate Langley, the Langley believes: “The campaign will Campaign Officer, feels that: “When have a lasting effect in Newcastle bewe consider the people who face health cause we have generated enthusiasm inequalities across the world, we often around local volunteering, as well as neglect those who are closest to home.” for advocacy and campaigning on the The aim of the campaign is to encourage issue of homeless health.” The Medsin local authorities to take responsibility committee are hoping to continue enfor the health of their homeless popu- couraging the local health and wellbelation. The campaign is joint with St ing board to ensure that the homeless Mungo’s Broadway; a big national char- people of Newcastle are given the attenity working on homelessness. tion they need. As Langley says, “It is The conference was a huge success, so important that we continue to insist with all tickets sold and 250 representa- that health equity is at the core of local tives from all over the country travelling policies.” to Newcastle for the weekend. The day The charity is bringing together a ran smoothly, thanks to the organisa- group of students from all over the tion of the committee, and the plenar- country who share an interest in helpies and workshops were all said to be ing the homeless. They aim to encourextremely thought-provoking. age local authorities to take homeless The committee managed to encourage health seriously by beginning to include nearly 200 students to sign up to their homeless people’s needs in their annual ‘Homeless Not Healthless’ campaign reports. They will also be looking into which, as Langley says: “really demon- influencing university medical curricustrates one of the ways in which students la to include the unique health needs of at Newcastle are making a difference in homeless people in their courses.
By Charlotte Houldsworth
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Fine Art postcard auction to include Turner Prize winner By Charlie Dearnley News Editor
Each year the Newcastle University Fine Art department hosts a postcard auction, providing people with the opportunity to purchase artwork at a very reasonable price, consisting of a silent and a live auction event. There will be works available from current students, alumni, tutors and artists. This year the event will also feature works by Timothy Hyman, Laura Aldridge, Liliane Lijn, Holly Antrum, Marie Toseland and 2004 Turner Prize winner Jeremy Deller. The event contributes a large amount to the department’s funding for the end of year degree show, which runs in both Newcastle and London and is the culmination of four years’ work. The final year students must raise the funding for their own graduate exhibition. An exhibition has a
larger impact on their final degree than any other element of the course. Contrary to the name, there are artworks other than those constricted to the size of a postcard for sale, including prints, paintings, drawings and sculptures. The silent auction beginning at 17.30 showcases the collection of postcards available for sale, whilst the live auction from 19.30 showcases the larger works. For those who cannot attend an online auction will go live from 5pm on Monday 24 until 10pm on Thursday 27 November. Entry to this evening event is completely free and refreshments will be available throughout the night. One of the organisers Julia Makojnik said that, “The event is vital in enabling our 2015 degree show to take place. It is consistently hugely enjoyable each year and provides some great entertainment and affordable artwork.”
The Courier
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Monday 24 November 2014
Brucey Bonus: renovations find rare WW2 relic storage space. The beer and wine cellar in the basement still exists, and much of it will be retained following the renovaThe plans for the redevelopment of tion. Newcastle’s Bruce Building have been In the 1950s the building was comrevised to make the most of a rare pulsorily purchased to become part of World War Two fire watchers’ post. King’s College, University of Durham. The stunning red-brick building is In 1963 this became the University of situated next to the INTO building on Newcastle upon Tyne. In recent years Percy Street, opposite Haymarket bus the University has moved out of the station. building, and last year it was sold to Michigan InvestMichigan Investments Ltd are reno´7KH À UVW DQG VHFRQG ments Ltd, who are vating the building, the proÁ RRUV ZLOO EH XVHG DV overseeing converting it into ject. a restaurant, of- RIÀ FHV DQG QHZ VWXGHQW The first and secfices and student ond floors will be !""#$$#%!&'#() accommodation. used as offices and The fire watchers’ post will now feature new student accommodation, continumore prominently in the plans, forming ing the educational link to the site that part of the entrance lobby. The number began in 1806, when the Percy Street of student bedrooms has also been re- Academy stood where the Bruce Buildduced from 60 to 57. ing does now. This academy was foundJennifer Morrison, Archaeology Of- ed by John Bruce, after whom the curficer for Tyne and Wear said: “The rent building is named. structure at the rear of the Bruce BuildMuch of the ground floor of the ing is a World War Two factory fire building is taken up by shops and the watchers’ post with their shelter below Hotspur pub, and these will all remain it. This was the Haymarket Brewery – following the redevelopment. The end the Bruce Building was the brewery of- section, with arched windows and orfice building. nate decoration, is currently unused but “Its purpose was to protect the on will become a restaurant. duty fire watcher whose job it was to This part of the building is Grade extinguish fires caused by incendiary II listed, and is the most exuberantly bombs.” decorated. A vast amount of period English Heritage expert Roger Thom- features survive, including glazed tiles as believes this is one of just two re- and elaborate fireplaces. The style of the maining examples of a fire watchers’ building has been likened to the Central post still in their original location. The Arcade, built around the same time and other is nearby, in North Shields. designed by the same architects. The Bruce Building was built between The redevelopment aims to restore the 1896 and 1900 for Newcastle Breweries building to its former glory. Ltd. It housed their offices, as well as
By Mark Sleightholm News Editor
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The Dumping Ground moves to Jesmond
a full English cooked breakfast at the Sandyford Territorial Army site, their broadcasting headquarters. The Tracy Beaker television series ocThe tenants removed their belongcupies a central place in the homes of ings from view in order for the filming many British children. Recently though, to take place. However, Scott told the the show has made its residence in a Courier that on arrival a crew member students’ house in Jesmond. asked: “Have you got any crap to fill the In September, Scott Thomas, Ben shelves?” Martin, Jamie Thorius and David KayScott and his housemates therefore Flowers found themselves answering returned their university textbooks to the door of their home to find the BBC their places. The BBC even used Scott’s standing there. birthday cards in the set as well as DaThe housemates, who are a mix of vid’s guitar. Newcastle Scott comgraduates and LEJ-;!J-#M-!N#F#<J-M#9-&=:- mented that students, were the experience surprised to O7PQ!$-$#9('(<-?&!9&R-&=:- was: “just quite discover that interesting re"9:;-N9#I'%:%-&=:their house had ally, [and we =#>?:$!&:?-;'&=-!-M>FFbeen used by are] looking the BBC to film ,(<F'?=-"##H:%-G9:!HM!?&) forward to seeThe Dumping ing bits we own Ground in previous years. The broad- on TV”. He told of his mum’s delight in casting company wanted to film part of hearing that the cushions she had made the new series in the same house. would feature in the new series: “15 The Dumping Ground is a continua- minutes of fame for her cushions!” tion of the Tracy Beaker series, albeit He continued by saying that people without the starring protagonist. The approach him asking about the filming: original programme was initially filmed “Everyone in the area knows it as the in London, whereas in recent years the Tracy Beaker house.” continued show has been filmed in and Unfortunately the housemates did around Newcastle. not meet any of the cast as they were Scott Thomas, Scrutiny Officer for the in university all day and the crew had Students’ Union, said that their house is finished filming by 1pm that same day. a four bed maisonette, but apparently Scott said: “It was all very easy as we the pulling factor for the BBC was the weren’t in, so it didn’t bother us”. Each fact that it had a fire escape at the rear housemate was paid £100 for letting of the property. their home out to the Dumping Ground The BBC production crew assessed crew, and the BBC also had to pay a fee the house in September and started to the letting agency and a month’s rent filming on the 22 October. By way of to the landlord. apology for the 7:30am morning start, The series is set to air in January. the crew provided the housemates with
By Kate Dewey News Editor
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Monday 24 November 2014
The Courier
Graduate snack brand goes Cuckoo for Muesli the demand for a delicious on-the-go healthy Bircher muesli product.” As 21st century individuals with very However, it was not all-smooth saildemanding schedules, preparing some- ing for the duo. Being recent graduthing simple and healthy may not always ates, Ann and Lucy had no idea where be all that easy. A delicious, on-the-go to begin. They spent months getting healthy food option would definitely fit their products tasted by friends and the bill. With that families and even !"#$%&#%#'((&#')*#+,,-./'# went into offices idea and concept in mind, Cuckoo gain unbiased %0()*#*$,#&,1%/&#+(2#%# to Bircher Muesli was opinions. There it &,-.3.()4#(/5*$,5'(#$,%-*$5 was that the duo born. 6.23$,2#1),4-.#72(&)3*8 learnt that there is Introduced to the market in a genuine demand 2013, Cuckoo is a modern Bircher for their products. muesli brand that was founded by two The pair acknowledge that encounold school friends, Ann Mackenzie and ters with setbacks when you first start Lucy Wright. a business are unavoidable. NonetheIt was whilst Lucy was studying in less, it did not dampen their spirits, as Newcastle University that the plan of Lucy said: “We have faced hurdles every starting their own business came up. It day – be it mistakes, suppliers letting us led to Ann and Lucy discussing ideas down and stock not getting delivered. of creating delicious, on-the-go healthy We are lucky that we have each other Bircher muesli product and both were and we ensure that we always have a certain that it would sell well as there back-up plan in case things don’t go acwas a demand for such a product in cording to schedule.” the market. As such, the two decided to From a range of five, the current top venture into starting their own Bircher three flavours are Mango & Coconut, muesli brand after graduation. Choco Sour Cherry and Apple & CinWhen asked, what was the inspiration namon Spice. They are priced at £2.49. behind the idea of creating the healthy Cuckoo is stocked in a multitude of Bircher muesli product, Lucy said: listings across the country, including “When we were at university, Anna’s Waitrose, Booths, and Jamie Oliver’s mother had created delicious Bircher Recipease Shops. For more information muesli recipes all summer and had en- about the nutritional value packed in couraged Anna to write a business plan. one serving of Cuckoo Bircher muesli When Anna mentioned the idea to me, and to get your hands on the product, we literally spent hours discussing eve- go to their website at www.cuckoofoods. rything about it … I was just really ex- co.uk. cited and had a good gut feeling about
By Yumi Nakajima!!!!
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The Courier
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Monday 24 November 2014
International Men’s Day: Moustaches, music and mental health cides with annual moustache-growing charity project Movember- and this was not forgotten on the day. Aptly named On Friday 21 November, the Student ‘Mind UR Moustache’, organisers inUnion teamed up with local charities geniously devised a moustache photo and rolled out a tent in aid of Interna- booth competition, giving those taking tional Men’s Day, an annual event de- part in Movember a prime opportunity signed to promote discussion of male to flaunt their weeks of hard work. For health issues, promote gender equality those who were not fortunate enough and improve gento be sporting a der relations. At ?@7;)A78A<7);0<B134)0C8D;) moustache on the the SU, the event :73+2):73;0<)=70<;=)03E) day, an array of largely focused on 60127)050673722)89)2DAF stick-on moustachraising awareness es were thoughtfulA86;G of men’s mental ly provided. Photos health as part of a campaign run by were uploaded to social networking Gender Equality Officer, Rebecca Bates. sites to raise further awareness online. A variety of events took place on camAt 3pm, the event teamed up with pus throughout the day, kicking off in Mensbar’s acoustic event ‘Expresso the morning outside the union with a Yourself ’. Audience members were tent full to the brim with campaigns, treated to an afternoon of live music. leaflets and self-help guides. A range of The day’s proceedings were brought to charities, including Change UR Mind a close with a slam poetry event. This and Healthwatch Newcastle held stalls, too followed the event’s theme, with as well as representatives from the re- many of the poets having some expegional NHS Foundation Trust. Repre- rience of mental health issues, making sentatives from young people’s mental performances personal, rich and deeply health charity ‘Young Minds’ were keen moving. to discuss with students many of the isOrganiser of the event, Rebecca Bates sues that young people face, such as ac- said: “As Gender Equality Officer, I ademic stress, bullying and sexual pres- wanted to create an event for Intersures, and the support available. There national Men’s Day that would raise were also stalls offering free chlamydia awareness about men’s mental health testing as well as advice and informa- issues. Diagnosis rates of mental health tion on local sexual health services conditions such as depression are much from young people’s project, Streetwise. higher in women, but suicide rates are Also on hand to help were members of considerably higher in men. ‘Mind the Gap’ – a Newcastle University “The aim of the event was to get peosociety dedicated to raising awareness ple talking about men’s mental health of mental health issues both on campus and to raise awareness of the support and in the wider community. available.” International Men’s Day happily coin-
By Emily Jeffrey!!!!!!
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Cum again: SHAG week returns after a year away petition is open to all members of clubs and societies encouraging people to get tested for Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea. This week SHAG (Sexual Health Aware- The clubs and societies that have the ness and Guidance) is returning to the highest percentage of members tested Union. The week aims to provide advice for an STI will receive cash prizes. and information regarding sex, relationThe testing will take place over a peships and body hang-ups. riod of three days, Monday, WednesSHAG week has been voted by stu- day and Thursday from 11am to 4pm. dents as the Union’s First place will receive most effective cam- ?KD;;134);=7)2DCL7M;) £100, second place paign and so this year 89)27N)13)0)E77AO) will be awarded £75 it’s bigger than ever. third place will be E06B)M86376O)51<<) and For the past few years, given £50. 83<H):0B7)A78A<7) There will also be a only a few days have been dedicated to the ;=13B);=7H)=0J7) spotlight prize of an SHAG campaign, but Eldon Square vouch28:7;=134);8)C7) this year events and er worth £20 for any 02=0:7E)0C8D;) Newcastle University activities will run for a whole week from Mon- 132;70E)89)277B134) student. day 24 to 28 NovemSpeaking to The 0EJ1M7G ber. Free contraception Courier, Welfare and will be included in the SHAG bags that Equality Officer Olivia Jeffrey said: “Sex, will be given out around campus. There relationships and body hang-ups are will also be opportunities for students important issues for all our students in to take free tests for the sexually trans- some shape or form”. mitted infections (STIs) Chlamydia and She continued: “SHAG week is not Gonorrhoea. just for the sexually active, it’s also for The week attempts to tackle the some- students with opinions on culture, those what taboo subject of sexual health by who want to prepare themselves for providing an environment in which it is when they are ready to have sex and completely acceptable to talk about the those who want to learn about personal topic. The week encompasses a diverse health more generally. range of activities and advice around the “Sex is something everyone is going to topic of sex and sexual attitudes includ- experience at some point in their lives. ing STIs, contraception, sexualities, re- Putting the subject in a deep dark corlationships and consent. ner out of reach and out of sight will Alongside this, for the first time the only increase unwanted pregnancies, Union’s Welfare and Equality Officer STD’s and makes people think they have Olivia Jeffrey and New Croft Sexual something to be ashamed or embarHealth Service have teamed up to run rassed about instead of seeking advice an STI testing competition. The com- and support.”
By Kate Dewey News Editor
Union pins “hopes and dreams” on new University Challenge team By Mark Sleightholm Online News Editor
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dent in International Politics, has been selected as captain, having also held that Four Newcastle students are hoping to role last year. He said: “I’m immensely go where no Newcastle students have proud... the University hasn’t featured ever been before: the final of University on the show for several years and I’m determined to put that right.” Challenge. He added: “I hope to encourage my Alexander Curtis, Tony Richardson, Nicholas Smith and Courier culture edi- team mates to give it their best shot and tor Kate Bennett will compete against who knows? We have a strong team and hopefully we can get teams from other uni?!3)67M73;)H7062O) through the selection versities for the title. The four students "75M02;<7)=0J7) process to join the top 28 teams on TV.” were selected by Claire 901<7E);8)PD0<19HG To practice the team Boothman, NUSU President and: “a big fan of the show”. 67 took part in last Monday’s pub quiz at students took part in the initial open au- Mensbar. Whilst they did not win Claire ditions, where, according to Boothman: said: “They still did really well.” In recent years Newcastle University “Tom [Nicholson, editor of the Courier] read the questions because he has a has failed to qualify for the televised lovely dulcet voice. Tom did it Paxman stages of the competition. A Newcastle team last apstyle.” B o o t h m a n ?!+:)1::7327<H)A68DE>>>)#=7) peared on the said: “I picked I31J7621;H)=023+;)970;D67E)83) programme in January 2012, the top 10 depending on ;=7)2=85)986)27J760<)H7062G when they were area because we need a mix of science knocked out in the quarter finals by the and humanities knowledge. From that University of Manchester. Manchester went on the win that series, and their we picked our magic four.” Now that the four students, along with current total of four wins over the comreserves, have been selected by the Stu- petition’s 43 series puts them on a level dents Union the team will apply to the with Magdalen College, Oxford. Newcastle have yet to win the compeprogramme itself. Just 28 teams will be chosen to appear on the programme, so tition, but this year’s team are hoping the competition to even enter the tour- to change that. Boothman said: “I’m very keen. I’m putting all my hopes and nament is tough. Richardson, a part-time mature stu- dreams in them.”
Monday 24 November 2014
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The Courier
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Concerns for HE’s financial sustainability !"#$%&'()*$+$,$-)).)/0$%)12$3)2#)45 627("8)4*$94)'$:$31/;)4 <("5&/;$=1')*$>?@AA@>BA+ C1(148*$<"27)'&'&D) E15&F$G"#$0)5F4&7'&"/*$-)$14)$("".&/;$H"4$+$,$ I)).)/0$')12$2)2#)45$'"$I"4.$1'$"J4$#41/FK$ &/$'K)$3)'4"F)/'4)L$:$94)'$%)12$3)2#)4$ I"4.5$15$714'$"H$1$')12$&/$1$94)'$5K"7$&/$'K)$ .&'FK)/$M$H4"/'$"H$K"J5)L$%K)8$14)$4)57"/5&#()$ IRU FUHDWLQJ DQ HI¿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¿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À HFWV RXU GHVLUH WR DOZD\V SXW RXU FXVWRPHUV ¿ UVW DQG &5$1$;4)1'$I18$'"$7(18$1$2"4)$74"1F'&D)$4"()$&/$ 'K)$FJ5'"2)4$G"J4/)8L$\"JZ(($#)$4)57"/5&#()$ H"4$"HH)4&/;$1$74"H)55&"/1(R$F"/5&5')/'$1/0$ RXWVWDQGLQJ OHYHO RI FXVWRPHU VHUYLFH EXLOG LQJ WUXVW E\ HQJDJLQJ RXU FXVWRPHUV LQ FRQ D)451'&"/$1/0$1F'&D)(8$(&5')/&/;$'"$1/'&F&71')$ 1/0$2))'$'K)&4$/))05L 3HUVRQ 5HTXLUHPHQWV :HœUH ORRNLQJ IRU PR '&D1')0$&/0&D&0J1(5$IK"$K1D)$'K)$./"I()0;)$ DQG FRQ¿ GHQFH LQ RXU SURGXFWV DQG VHUYLFHV '"$5J77"4'$'K)$')12R$1/0$'K)$2"'&D1'&"/$'"$;"$ 1#"D)$1/0$#)8"/0$'"$0)D)("7$'K)&4$F14))4L$ -)Z4)$1$()10&/;$/12)$&/$0&;&'1($#1/.&/;R$5"$ \RXœOO QHHG WR EH FRQ¿ GHQW ZLWK WHFKQRORJ\ DQG FRPIRUWDEOH ZRUNLQJ LQ D GLJLWDO ODQG 5F17)L S"F1'&"/*$=J4K12 !"#$%&'()*$[)IF15'()$-"4.$6,7)4&)/F)$]$9Q$ DQG 0DUNHWLQJ 2I¿ FHU 627("8)4*$^=U<$U&'/)55 <("5&/;$=1')*$WB@AA@>BA+ C1(148*$XYBB$EJ45148$ E15&F$G"#$0)5F4&7'&"/*$^=U<$U&'/)55$"HH)45$
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The Higher Education Commission has released a report outlining the threats to financial sustainability of higher education in England. The report, published last week, warns reforms to the current funding model “have put the sector on a long-term footing that is ‘far from clear’.� The study shows the current funding system represents “the worst of both worlds,� in which the government funds higher education by writing off student debts rather than directly investing in teaching grants. Meanwhile students feel they have to foot a higher bill for university, despite the government being set to write off a large portion of student debt. According to the Institute for Fiscal Studies, 73% of graduates won’t fully repay their debt. The report considers six options for funding higher education, including lowering fees and lifting the fee cap altogether. The Commission said: “We have created a system where everybody feels they are getting a bad deal. This is not sustainable.�
Coventry Uni honours Stephen Sutton
Coventry University has posthumously awarded an honorary degree to Stephen Sutton MBE who raised ÂŁ5 million for the Teenage Cancer Trust and sadly lost his four-year cancer battle last May. Stephen’s mother accepted his honorary doctorate of science, awarded in recognition of his “outstanding contribution to highlighting the unique needs of teenagers and young adults with cancer.â€? The charity activist’s mother said: “I feel incredibly proud that Stephen’s achievements are to be recognised in this way by Coventry University, and I know he would feel the same about the honorary degree and the scholarships that have been set up in his name.â€? Teenage Cancer Trust announced in September that ÂŁ1.2 million from the funds Stephen raised will go towards vital research and 50 new scholarships for professionals to train at Coventry University. The University said: “We’re delighted to be supporting Stephen’s legacy.â€?
Colossal cycle charity at Nottingham The University of Nottingham’s most successful Life Cycle event has raised a record-breaking ÂŁ750,000 for Children’s Brain Tumour Research (CBTR). The University extended the initial ÂŁ500,000 target after more supporters than expected participated in this year’s ride. Professor Sir David Greenaway and his team cycled more than 1,400 miles around Great Britain. Each cyclist rode in honour of a child who has battled the disease. Throughout their journey, members of the public affected by the cause frequently gave donations to the cycling team. Due to the fundraising support, the UK’s first intraoperative MRI scanner of its kind is expected to be installed at the Queen’s Medical Centre in Nottingham by next spring. The University said: “This will have a direct impact on saving and improving the lives of young brain tumour sufferers and their families in the UK and globally.â€?
Oxford lead research into Ebola vaccine
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The 60th and last healthy volunteer in a trial carried out by the University of Oxford received the Ebola vaccine last week. In the past two months, the UK, US, Mali and Switzerland have conducted safety trials in which almost 200 people received a candidate Ebola vaccine. The US National Institutes of Health (NIH) and GSK developed the vaccine in a response to the current Ebola outbreak. The first volunteer in the UK trial at Oxford University was vaccinated on 17th September. Professor Adrian Hill of the Jenner Institute led the Oxford trial. Hill said: “The response we have seen from people coming forward to take part has been remarkable.� Professor Myron M Levine, director of the Center for Vaccine Development, said: “It could help alter the dynamic of this epidemic by interrupting transmission to the health care workers who are most at risk.� Ashley Williams
The Courier
28
Monday 24 November 2014
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The fight over the Great War
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he new Sainsbury’s advert – featuring the famous football match of WW1 – is, in itself, rather a special advert. It has helped raise a lot of money for RBL and does look rather incredible. So why do I recoil at this four minute mulching medley? The first reason would obviously be the truth behind the creation of the advert; Sainsbury’s want to sell more overpriced, un-needed Christmas piss on this very special night that Cher Lloyd was born. A notion which is emphasised after the ‘beautiful’ final scenes of the advert where the Sainsbury’s logo flashes bold as brass - at first watch I think I nearly threw my shoe at the screen at this point. I understand that it is good (in a way) that they have raised money for charity, and I’m definitely griping but there has got to be something better than this ethos of giving-whilst-buying (started primarily by Innocent Smoothies) that seems to have become so popular in our capitalist crock-of-cock country. The advert also smoothly glosses over the years that day was sandwiched in-between - years where men slaughtered each other day after day after day for no particular reason; perhaps next year the Christmas advert will feature, Saddam Hussein or the Falklands War. It won’t though, will it? WW1 is just far enough into the past now for it to be safe for Sainsbury’s to use in their little war with John Lewis.
I certainly wouldn’t argue that it exploits WWI any more than adverts typically tend to exploit any other events, and I suppose that is the problem. The super-cynic in me hates adverts. Furthermore, I’d argue the reason nobody has complained about John Lewis and their sickly penguin tripe is because penguins aren’t a major (and terrible) event in our history, which is generally considered one of the greatest wastes of life in recent history. The argument would be that maybe Sainsbury’s just shouldn’t have touched this particular issue in attempting to flog their yuletide logs. Fortunately, it has raised quite a bit for charity, so at the end of the day no one can really do too much about it. But what it does bring into question is whether the most effective form of charity these days comes from the likes of these big companies, who engage in it purely to increase their own profits? If so, I suppose we’ll just have to take it but – again – there’s probably a slightly less selfish way floating around there somewhere. And of course no one will complain about The Imitation Game, as in art (film, books, music, finger painting, smearing Nutella on the walls, etc.) you get free reign with your subject; can you imagine if people didn’t, if Hemingway hadn’t dared write A Farewell to Arms? We wouldn’t have a novel that actually increases our understanding of the war, bringing it closer to us and making it more imminent. Yes, I know not all art does this, but it is one of the arts’ greatest facets. The Imitation Game can talk about war because it isn’t trying to use the war to sell something, or at least if it is, it’s certainly less direct and doesn’t finish with a massive Sainsbury’s sign sprawled over the ending like some over-eager seven-year-old begging for attention after you denied the little sod sweets only ten minutes ago.
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nlike many of those who have taken to social media to vent their irritation over Sainsburys’s new advert, I don’t find it remotely bothersome – I actually quite like it. I struggle to see how it’s exploiting WW1 anymore than any advert exploits any other event. After all, no one is going to argue that John Lewis has crossed a line in exploiting penguins by using them in their annual Christmas advert. Again, the John Lewis advert – as with all Christmas adverts – was also created for the sole purpose of selling more ‘Christmas piss’, yet nobody complains about that. Would we then also criticize all war-themed movies, as they are ultimately made to make money as well? If anything, the Sainsbury’s advert is less offensive in this regard then John Lewis and co, as they are raising money for charity with the products advertised in it, of which all profits are going to charity, which makes it more beneficial to society than adverts without a charitable spin. In regards to the advert glossing over the war – it isn’t an advert about WW1. It’s an advert about Christmas Day, 1914. I doubt anyone will be criticising the newly-released movie The Imitation Game for not featuring more scenes from the battlefield, or for showing more of the war, because that simply was not the focus of the movie. To say it’s an advert about WW1 still misses the point though – it is quite specifically about December 25th 1914, and we can appreciate that without needing to place it in a larger context, in the same way we don’t put John Lewis’s penguin in the context of arctic life generally. Also, that interpretation of World War-themed movies isn’t quite correct because arguably it is asking for money just as much, if not more than the Sainsburys advert. You see an advert then have to pay a certain amount to go see it – and it’s not like the payment is just to help it break even. The Imitation Game’s success will largely be judged on how much money it brings in at box office – just like the Sainsburys ad’s success will largely be judged on if it increases sales. In the case of movies, the aim may be a bit less direct, but the fact it’s there entirely for profit is undeniable. It’s using human interest in a war to sell a movie. Also, people tend to forget that the ‘made in partnership with the British Royal Legion’ line at the end of the advert isn’t just to show that it’s the charity receiving the chocolate bar sales profit – they approved the ad. This is an organization of people who deal and have dealt regularly with soldiers who survived WW1 and WW2, and yet everybody seems to think that their endorsement doesn’t mean much. This organization is much better placed to consider the historical accuracy, appropriateness, and suitability of such an advert, and yet everyone seems to silently dismiss this without a single word as to why they know more than the British Royal Legion?
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here were sighs of relief this week as the Church got their act together, and the final obstacle to female bishops was cleared. The vote was passed by an overwhelming majority, with only 30 of the 480 present at the General Synod voting against. Two years ago, the vote did not go through by a mere six votes, causing the Church to seem more out of touch than ever. The rest of the Church of England recoiled in frustration at the stunting of progress by those ceaselessly bemoaning change. However, the C of E is extremely British in its desire to please all, so the new legislation offers allowances for churches who are uncomfortable with female bishops.
1994 was the year where women were finally able become vicars. This means I have never existed in a world where women couldn’t wear dog collars (the little white things they wear in their shirts‌ nothing else). I grew up in a time where the word ‘vicar’ was usually followed by ‘of Dibley’, so it seems ludicrous to me, and most in our generation, that women have only just been officially accepted as being as capable priests as men. But the Anglican Church spans every age and walk of life; it is very difficult to get everyone to agree. It is hugely inspiring that such a wide range of people can remain united and be tolerant of each other’s differing views, however frustrating those views might be (this time round many who still disliked the idea voted in favour for the sake of unity). This acceptance is something that society as a whole could really learn from. I think it is such a
shame that a religion founded on revolutionary, forward thinking principles about radical love and equality has become synonymous with the out of date and old fashioned. Due to unresolved opinion on the issues of sexism and homophobia, people were beginning to believe the Church was less moral than the rest of the population, despite leading the moral agenda in decades past. Allowing women to become bishops addresses part of this problem, but it will naturally take longer to change the internal church culture to fully embed justice and equality. This is an overdue step towards the Church being back on the forefront of social justice and equality. Indeed, its dragging of its feet on this issue, and on the gay marriage issue, has overshadowed some great work it has been doing: pioneering food bank legislation at government level as well as countless social justice projects in individual communities.
Now for an injection of feminist feeling: It is great to see such a big organisation moving forward in the cause for female equality. There is still a lot of gender inequality across all industries as well as in political representation, which will now be helped by the new female bishops in the House of Lords. The Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, has spoken about the Church’s training up of potential bishops, saying “The aim is that you end up with a big pool of people where gender is irrelevant.� Isn’t this what all feminists aspire to? My friend who is training to be a vicar recently told me about a Facebook group for ordained women in which they discuss, amongst other things, River Island dresses which easily fit a dog collar. I guess soon they will be discussing ways to prevent hat hair from the bishops’ hats. I, for one, am excited about this. Not the hat hair though. No one likes that.
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Monday 24 November 2014
The Courier
The Mujahideen are making a scene
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&'))$*"&+!()% What does moderate watering mean? Are you supposed to soak the soil just once a week until the surface is bursting with glistening H2O? Or are you supposed to give it three drops from a pipette each morning and evening? I suppose it’s comparable to alcohol consumption: ‘Drink in moderation’. One drink in the evening everyday just to wet your whistle, or once a week drown in barrels of liquid muscle relaxant? Having made this comparison, I’ve unexpectedly answered my original question. The pot plant epiphany has struck like a tidal wave. The immeasurability of ‘moderation’ that has been plaguing my houseplants for countless years has been surmised. We’ve all seen the adverts on TV, and received the awareness classes as children. Binge drinking is bad. Therefore binge-watering plants must also be wrong. It’s just very difficult to avoid the flash flood mania of realising the poor little flower, having been rescued from the beady watchful eyes and iridescent lights of Ikea, is now dying on my windowsill. I’ll never learn. I’ll be eternally confined to cacti. I hate cacti. Charlie Dearnley
!"#$%&'(%$ In Response To ‘Journo Perils’ by Joe Tetlow: Student journalism “serves no purpose other than CV building for failed journo’s of the future�. Joe Tetlow recently wrote ‘with extreme irony’ about the redundancy of student journalism - an argument that warranted a response. If this is irony, I would question the purpose of an article in The Courier that carries the message, ‘Its fine to write for The Courier’. This is at best a redundant piece of nonsense. If it is honest opinion, however, I must speak for the ‘failed journo’s of the future’. Of course I am ‘CV building’. Generally, those who want to be journalists practice journalism. Regrettably, I can’t waltz to the BBC with my MA and expect them to introduce me to the newsroom. I write for The Courier because I like writing articles. If enjoyment isn’t enough of a ‘tangible incentive’ for Tetlow then I would encourage him to find something more tangible at the bottom of his pint glass. There are plenty of “journo’s� to take his place, and some can even use apostrophes correctly. Rebecca Harrison
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t is a confusing and unnerving statistic that the radicals from the UK who have joined the Islamic State are more affluent and well educated than their European counterparts. For example, one such radical is a medical student at Cardiff University who recently appeared in an Islamic State video calling for more Muslims to join them.
“These are not the Bolsheviks of yesteryear�
Research undertaken at Queen Mary University of London supported this, as it found that amongst the young, the number of those sympathetic with those who commit terrorist acts has increased. It is also of interest that those with sympathetic views were commonly studying at an institute of higher education, and had a parental income of over ÂŁ75,000. Although it is commonly thought that poverty
breeds extremism (and indeed, this seems to prove true in many cases), these radicals are very different from traditional extremists. It is not new for students to have opinions on matters such as this: from the war in Vietnam in the late 1960s and early 1970s to the more recent student protests in 2010 against rising tuition fees. What set those cases apart from radicalisation today is that it is now not a political rising based on class dissatisfaction with the political ĂŠlite, but a religious one. These are not the Bolsheviks of yesteryear, but participants brainwashed by an ideology built upon an extreme interpretation of the Qur’an. It’s this dangerous ideology which must be rooted out, not just in Universities but the world as a whole, if we ever wish to destroy Islamic State or any other radical groups – ideas are more powerful than war. Religion transcends class, thus can appeal to all, whether they choose to interpret it extremely or not, and this is why so many have joined the cause in Syria and Iraq. The London based think-tank Quilliam published a report in 2010 highlighting the common causes of radicalisation on UK campuses. Using radicalisation at City University London as a case study, they identified that their Islamic Society (ISoc) was preaching radical ideology. Quilliam found that the instigators of radicalisation typically centred their teaching on an illusion of ‘us
Image: Karl Ludwig Poggemann @ Flickr and them’, with the ‘them’ commonly referring to other students. The instigators also condemned the ideologies of other students, and presented them as being a ‘war on Islam’ by the West. This is something which does not just concern a certain class of people – it is a call to all.
“A stronger community spirit is what will stop venomous preaching�
What this shows us is that on campuses throughout the UK, University societies should work together to include each other more, producing a network of togetherness rather than isolation. A stronger community spirit is what will stop venomous preaching from taking hold on particularly vulnerable students. This combined with education – educating everyone, whether: rich or poor, Muslim or non-Muslim, not the nationalistic ‘Britishness’ put forward by the Conservatives but a one of togetherness as a worldwide community, something which is not taught at schools or University. It is only then when we can be sure that Islamic State’s ideology is shown for the farce that it is, and will never rise again, rockets can destroy something for a time, but it can never silence it forever.
,$)#'"*$+!-% Rush hour at the Metro Station: we all stand at the platform, knackered. There is no train to be seen. A man coughs. A child pees. Still, no train. There is an announcement. “There will be a ten minute delay to all services at platform 3.� The woman next to me instantly loses her shit. She’s flailing her arms about like she’s just been branded, unable to believe the sheer audacity of the light rail service. Indignant eye contact is made with whoever looks at her. So the Metro is a little late, you miss the first ten minutes of whatever mundane TV show you’re watching, get over it. Newsflash: the option to board a huge hunk of metal that whisks you across the land at lightning speeds is not a human right, it’s a privilege; a first-world luxury. If you think you deserve this rapid transit system to adhere to your personal schedule, you are sadly misguided. Next time you are teleported about the city in mere minutes, try being grateful that you’re not walking through the cold wet night wearing an elk pelt. Jack Dempsey
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Monday 24 November 2014
Is this what a feminist looks like?
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his week, in an event rarer than a solar eclipse, I actually found myself agreeing with Boris. He stepped in to defend British space scientist, Matt Taylor, from the baying keyboard warriors hounding him on Twitter. Taylor’s terrible crime? Appearing at a press conference wearing a shirt with semi-naked women on it. To be fair, it was a horrific crime against fashion, but an attempt to oppress and exclude women from the workplace? Really?
loody feminists are at it again, we can’t let the poor guy have his one moment of glory can we? Well actually, after Taylor’s apology I think most of us were satisfied to be honest. Ensue an angry mob, furious that a man has been accountable for his own actions! Reduced to tears on stage even! Lets remember that he appeared in a t-shirt decorated with sexualised pin up girls strewn across his chest. He then described the difficulty of the Rosetta mission as ‘‘sexy, but I never said she was easy.” To be honest it’s just crass, ingrained objectification of women. Nothing new there mate, just another brick in the wall. The only thing unfamiliar about this situation is that for once, he was called out on it. A couple of people (men and women alike) dared to point out that Taylor was celebrating his achievement while inadvertently contributing to the objectification and sexualisation of women. And fair play to the guy, he admitted that what he did was offensive and he apologised - as he should have.
“The witch-hunt poor Dr Matt endured was not feminism I wish to associate myself with”
I am a feminist. Of course I am. If you take feminism to mean advocating women’s right to equality then if you’re not a feminist you’re simply a bigot. The witch-hunt poor Dr Matt endured however, was not feminism, or at least not feminism I wish to associate myself with. Of course, everyday sexism and misogyny in all its forms needs challenging but for Christ’s sake pick your battles. There is a difference between pointing out that the presence of such shirts may amplify a perceived or real atmosphere of sexism in the workplace and crucifying a man who made a poor wardrobe decision one morning. Sadly this is a difference that many ‘campaigners’ seem unable to grasp. Perhaps they could save their venom for the Ched Evans and Dapper Laughs of this world, the corporations who refuse to pay women equally or the governments with only one or two token women in the cabinet. If even half the energy that appeared to be expended on reducing Taylor to tears was directed at the government then maybe they wouldn’t be hitting victims of domestic violence with the ‘bedroom tax’ for having a panic room in their house. It should be David Cameron making a tearful apology in front of the cameras, not Matt Taylor. Vilifying easy targets like Taylor, who clearly hasn’t intended to offend anyone, merely undermines the incredible importance of feminism. Taylor has just helped fly a spacecraft billions of miles through space to land on a comet, which would barely cover the town moor, travelling at over 135 000 km/h. Give the man a break for five minutes and celebrate that astounding achievement.
“It’s just crass, ingrained objectification of women. Nothing new there mate, just another brick in the wall”
Image: European Space Agency@Flickr
I’ll let Taylor off; however, his whiny Boris Johnson led defenders don’t get off so easily. You don’t like a man having his achievements undermined by what he was wearing? That’s cute. Because really I’m not too keen on watching every single female politician being ripped to shreds - not because of her policies, but because of her shoes. It’s also pretty stressful to know that out of the 85,000 women who get raped a year, the majority will be asked what they were wearing as if clothes could ever be an invitation to a rapist. So Matt Taylor, I’m sorry that you accidentally put on a sexist t-shirt and accidentally said a sexist thing and that it overshadowed your admittedly outstanding achievement. I am more sorry for the billions of women for whom this is a reality every day regardless of our achievements. Harrowingly, we don’t even need to be offensive to receive criticism! All we must do is exist in a culture that objectifies us, a culture that is perpetrated through shirts like yours.
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here is a political party on the rise in Britain. Its party membership has risen 77% since the start of 2014. They have 50% more constituency candidates than last year. They are polling higher than ever before. And they have overtaken the Liberal Democrats. No, we are not taking about UKIP. This is the #GreenSurge. The media furore around the rise of UKIP has largely ignored the rapidly increasing support for the Green Party. Some would say that this is only to be expected from a British press which appears much more fascinated by right-wing politics. But the recent decision to exclude the Green Party from the televised party leader debate, while inviting Farage and Clegg to make an appearance, seems hard to justify. Much has already been said about the fact that the Greens have as many MPs as UKIP, and have scored higher in the polls than the Lib Dems, as well as beating them outright in the European
elections this year. On top of this, according to blind tests conducting for the ‘Vote for Policies’ website, the Green party has by far the most popular manifesto. This is already enough to constitute the argument that to leave them out is an affront to our democratic principles and the public agree – over a quarter of a million people have signed an online petition to protest against the Green Party’s exclusion. The BBC defended its decision, saying that even if the Greens are more popular than the Lib Dems they “would still, of course, be taking as [their] starting point the result of the 2010 general election”. The observation of Natalie Bennett – the Green Party leader – that the BBC is “concentrating too much on past performance rather than looking at current interest in the Greens” is a huge understatement. Four years is a long time, especially in politics, as anyone who remembers Nick Clegg’s popularity will know The debate as to whether the Green Party is popular enough to deserve a place on such a large platform is, however, only half the argument. The other reason why they should be given a voice in the TV debates is that they provide a much-needed
plurality to British politics. In order to get the most out of a debate we need a broad range of opinion, and there are few substantive differences between the other four major parties. Nigel Farage has been hailed by some as a break from the mainstream, but his policies have only served to narrow and concentrate the political landscape through single, emotive issues. Without the Greens, the political discussion that takes place will be confined to the pro-austerity anti-immigration neoliberal agenda. Would it not benefit the discussion to have someone representing opinions on immigration that lie outside the ‘not in favour of ’ to ‘extremely against’ bracket? Is it good for the country as a whole to restrict ourselves to the unshakeable faith in austerity? Does banning the only female party leader not reinforce the image of British politics as an ‘old boys club’? You do not have to agree with the Green Party’s policies to see how they deserve a place on the televised debates. Plurality is a cornerstone of democracy. And quite frankly, when the day comes, a difference of opinion might just make for better telly.
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ell the past week has been awash with the interesting, entertaining, irritating and down right infuriating. The big news of course was the beautifully named Mark Reckless. After his defection to UKIP stardom from the fractured Tory back benches, he has subsequently won the Rochester and Strood byelection. 2/650 members of the lower chamber are now duly elected as UKIP affiliates. Whilst UKIP has undoubtedly grown to become a meaningful political force, I have a feeling that their dizziness with success will be fairly short-lived. During national elections, the British have a habit of becoming more cautious and conservative at the polling booths than they are at the opinion polls. Neil Kinnock should have won the 1992 election, around 50% of people should have been in favour of Scottish independence, the alternative voting system should have passed with overwhelming public support: yet these opinion poll predictions fell flat on their face. “Big calls” away from the norm are not in the British tradition, even if in principle radical changes are popular. I can almost feel Edmund Burke’s smug smile over us as a nation. Also, I don’t think the surge in UKIP support represents a “shift to the Right,” just as surges in Green and SNP support aren’t examples of shifts to the Left. As tedious as he might be, Russell Brand did get one thing right: dissatisfaction with the Westminster status quo is a major driving force behind all of this. Ideological shift away from the political Centre certainly isn’t. Rochester kicked up a lot more than the election of a UKIP MP. Media sensationalism behind Emily Thornberry’s “white van man” tweet was an extraordinary bit of class controversy; only in Britain would it cause such a stir. It was also another shit sandwich for Ed Miliband, but his reaction to it was priceless. “What goes through my mind is respect” was his response to a question on his view on white vans. I wonder if he has such a deep respect for other owners of vehicles, articulated lorry owners perhaps? He really does have a special talent for making himself look like a complete drip. Meanwhile in what is supposed to be one of the finer Universities of England, Oxford took the executive decision to ban a civilised discussion on abortion. This was for fear that certain pro-choice students would cause a disturbance because they heard rumours that some people on the panel had dared to disagree with them. Firstly, if people can’t withstand criticism of their own opinion, their position becomes meaningless. It becomes a contrived idea mushed together by dogma, uniformity and an arrogant sense of one’s own infallibility. Secondly, if Oxford is going to ban the free exchange of ideas because of intimidation from these lynch mobs, then what the hell is Oxford as an educational establishment for? It’s also emerged that a slump in profits by the sum of £74 million for Royal Mail; the last nail in the coffin for the Tory privatisation provision. The ironic situation has arisen where a private company is held back by heavy government regulation, as they are forced to provide services to any part of the UK for the same price, following the tradition of the uniform penny postage system. In a corporate situation that faces competitors, that cannot make sense. Back in the USSR, Mikhail Gorbachev - a man who deserves a lot more credit than he often gets - stuck two very firm fingers up at Vladimir Putin last week for his belief that he is second only to god. Putin’s new utopia, with the sickly mix of both pseudo-religion and Christian state religion, had been heading down this path for a long time. Russia’s dwelling on its past glories was never a healthy recipe, as a new NATO-Russian Cold War looks immanent. The Russian invasion of Ukraine (and not forgetting Gerogia, 2008) might only be the beginning. Incidentally Putin has found some very interesting admirers here in Blighty, from Nigel Farage to Peter Hitchens. And finally, if you haven’t listened to Dave Whelan’s grovelling apology for a couple of mildly racist comments - particularly after the shinanigans of Malky Mackay’s outrageously racist texts being leaked to the press - I recommend you Google it immediately. The deeper and deeper hole they’re both digging for themselves makes for entertaining viewing.
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Monday 24 November 2014
The Courier
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opular discourse would have you believe that Northerners and Southerners are totally different species from one another, to the extent that offspring from such a union would result in some sterile mutant who can’t decide whether dinner is a midday or evening meal and so ends up starving to death in a lonely garret. If you subscribe to the stereotypes, Northerners are all slow-witted salt-of-the-earth types who live in Victorian terraces and exist on a diet of pie and ale, while Southerners are effete shandy-drinkers who spend all their time on the golf course or in the fresh pasta aisle of Waitrose. But are these stereotypes true? Can it really be as simple as all that? And where the fuck does this leave the Midlands? I’ve spent about half my 21 years living in the north and half in the south, so gather round, kids, and benefit from my wealth of regional knowledge as we play True or False: North vs South Edition. True or false: Northerners are friendlier than Southerners – TRUE When I first came up to Newcastle as a naïve young eighteen-year-old, all IKEA utensils and Tesco Value bedsheets, I was deeply unnerved by the fact that strangers actually talked to you. In the southern town where I’ve lived since I was ten, buying a sandwich, for example, involves being passive-aggressively abused by fellow customers for not queuing efficiently enough, and then having the server tell you off for hesitating when asked if you want it on white or brown bread. In Newcastle, buying a sandwich involves being called “petal’ roughly six times and then being instructed to “enjoy your meal”. This is incredibly unsettling for people who’ve just come up from the south. What does this suspiciously friendly sandwich retailer want from me?, they’re thinking. Did they spit in the margarine or something?
“I was deeply unnerved by the fact that strangers actually talked to you”
True or false: Southerners all exist in a state of luxury – FALSE There are tons of rich Northerners living in fancy electronic-gated barn conversions out on the moors, and towns like Harrogate, Clitheroe and Alnwick pretty much put paid to the idea that everyone in the North lives in some kind of rundown soot-stained ex-mill town – have you SEEN the prices at Betty’s? Have you SEEN the absurd number of white Range Rovers bombing around Jesmond? The southern town I live near, on the other hand, resembles a sort of Cold War Soviet Union state, where everything is made from raindamaged concrete and popular activities for the town’s youth include setting fire to tramps, hanging around outside the offy asking people to buy them a 3 litre bottle of White Star cider, and drinking said 3 litre bottle of White Star cider in a field behind the train station, before being chased off by older youths armed with baseball bats.
“There are tons of rich Northerners living in fancy electronic gated barn conversions”
True or false: Northerners don’t feel the cold – JURY’S OUT As a kid in the north I was quite happy running around in temperatures of -5C with just a T shirt and my own buoyant youthfulness to keep me warm. These days, I actually own and use a hot water bottle. I don’t know whether this is a result of several years living in the sunniest part of England or just because I’m now old and decrepit, but either way I’m seriously considering getting an electric blanket.
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t’s 7am and I’m at the summit of the Robbo, frazzled. My hands are bleeding from the shards of broken pen shell wedged in them, which is strange considering I’ve been typing the whole time. My underwear is soiled, but I don’t care anymore, because it’s finished. The essay is finally finished - two hours before the deadline. Rest is required before hand-in or I may well be sectioned. But where? I try leaning my head against the desk using a stack of hardbacks as a pillow, but with no cushioning to speak of, I soon begin to cramp. I can feel someone kicking my foot, but when I peep over the partition, there’s no one there. It’s just me kicking the table leg repeatedly, but my paranoid state has personified the metal leg to near Satanic proportions. I’m ready to twat the leg. I know it mugged me off last Thursday when I was browsing the Russian literature aisle.
“Surely He will allow me into the kingdom of heaven, because I’m getting proper knackered now”
The leg goes silent. I need to get away from here. I stumble out of the library into the blinding morn, using passersby to steady myself. They push me on encouragingly as I go. Without looking, I pile into the nearest public house. My bleary eyes just about make out ‘Ha, cock’. Even the pubs are mugging me off now. It’s no good, all the furniture is strictly upright. But then I see it. Standing majestically, its taut scarlet skin ablaze under the glow of the lamplight. I hoist myself up and stretch out my weary limbs, slipping instantly towards unconsciousness. Until, I feel a pointed object jabbing me in the ribs. “Oi mate, we’re in the middle of a fucking game here.” “Begone peasants! Sleep is nigh.” All is well, once more I am nearly under, until a
stern chap informs me that the authorities will be arriving unless I escort myself off the premises immediately. With an angry mutter, I take up my bagpillow and continue in my quest for rest. Back in the cruel outdoors, I see a steeple towering above the Toon. Surely He will let me in. Surely He will offer me forgiveness and allow me into the kingdom of Heaven, because I’m getting proper knackered now. As I enter, I feel Him ushering me towards angelic slumber. The perfect platform offers itself up to me. “P(h)ew,” I cry, “what a relief!” A pillow greets my tender cheek, its soft red felt reminding me of the comfort I once felt in the arms of the pool table. All is quiet, peaceful. Too peaceful. All of a sudden I begin to hallucinate. St. Paul comes down from the stained glass window and asks me if I want to share a taxi to Digital. “No Paul,” I scream, “I got the last one. You pay.” John mumbles something about leaving his wallet at home and I storm out in a rage. I can’t stand to be in the same room as that dick. Perhaps it’s the smell of freshly reconstituted sausage eking out into the street, I don’t know, but I walk into Greggs. Perusing a warm golden shelf of baked goods, I murmur to myself, “Christ, that pasty looks divine. And so peaceful too, just lying there with its savoury bedmates.” Before I can stop myself, I leap over the counter and try to climb into the shelf with the delicious pastries. But I quickly find it’s no place for a human to nap. Pies take up considerably less space than people do, and the partitions restrict me from having all my body parts in at once. As I am dragged out of the shop, I attempt to stuff my pockets with as many sausage rolls as possible. I begin running down Northumberland Street, tearing my clothes off in a frenzy as I do so. Children scream as I pass them by but, unable to see their tiny statures, I knock them down. I leave my clothes at the end of a sad trail of pastry flakes as I rush into Primark. I dive upon the nearest stool and give up life, only
to be quickly revived by the pressing of an arse against my face. “You can’t do this to me… I’m sleeping…” When he fails to back his buttocks away from my personal space, I’m forced to get up and alert security. “That man keeps sitting on me.” “It’s because you can’t sleep here, or be naked.” “Actually I can sleep anywhere I want. And you’re
“I begin running down Northumberland Street, tearing my clothes off as I do so”
naked too, under those clothes.” “Please leave.” Barely making it out of the shop door, I collapse in a shapeless heap next to two other reclining gentleman surrounded by various bric-a-brac. Next thing I know, they’re hitting buckets and pans and causing all sorts of ruckus. Bizarrely, the public seem to enjoy it, and even begin to chuck money at them. “They’re not going to stop if you pay them!” I scream in vain, tears streaming from my eyes. My naked body crawls away across the hard gravel to escape the noise of death. I come to a doorway just on the outskirts of town. It purports to be Northumbria Baths, but I need sleep, not a bath, although I am appropriately (un) dressed for one. There’s urine on the floor: perfect. I wallow in it, I bathe in it. But alas, I am disturbed yet again by a fellow holding a sleeping bag. “Please,” I grovel, “just five more minutes.” However, when I look up, I find he’s not evicting me, but offering me his bag. I accept and Steve lies down with me. We spend the day just lying there: napping, chatting about girls we like, playing with each other’s hair until nightfall.
The Courier
178
Monday 24 November 2014
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Charlotte on Ben
How did you arrange to meet? He texted me first just checking that it was me and that Monday was fine, and then he asked me where I wanted to go. I didn’t know what year he was in so I was like, “Well I’m new so if there’s anywhere you wanna go…”, and he was like “Well I’m pretty new too”, so I was like “Do you just wanna go down to the Gate then?”, ‘cos that’s the only place really that I know.
Ben Carver, 1st Year Biology meets Charlotte Smith, 1st Year French & Psychology
Ben on Charlotte
How did the conversation start flowing? It was just kinda standard, what do you do, which halls you in, how are finding it, do you go out much, whereabouts. She had a Southern Comfort and lemonade which was quite quirky I thought because most people for a vodka and Coke.
Harking back up to when you met at the Union, what was your initial impression of her physically? I thought she looked quite cute, dressed well, she didn’t look like she was dressed to pull but she was dressed attractively.
Where did you go at The Gate? What did you do? Wetherspoons. At half seven we met outside the Students’ Union and walked down. I don’t like meeting at bars in case I’m ridiculously early and just sat there for ages by myself.
So at Wetherpsoons what did you chat about? We talked about old jobs for some reason and for some reason she started talking about her exes which I thought was a bit weird. I thought it was no-go territory, it was a bit odd to be honest. She was talking about how her old ex had a hold over her but that he turned out to be a weirdo in the end.
What was your initial impressions of him physically? I was impressed by his punctuality, I like when people are on time. He looked fine, casually smart. Was it a bit awkward, the walk down? Nah it was kinda just like chatting to a friend, like a new acquaintance that you were getting to know more than a date, but it was still nice.
Where did it go after that? She’d been out the night before and said she was a bit hungover so she didn’t really want to stay long. I didn’t know if that was an escape tactic or just actual truth. She left le after a couple of hours. I walked her down to Haymarket and she went home.
So you got to Wetherspoons, did you buy drinks? How did that work? He asked the standard “What’s your poison?”. I wanted to see how much it was first because I like Southern Comfort but it can be quite expensive - but he just went straight up and ordered it for me without even bothering, so that was quite sweet. We took it in turns.
How was the goodbye? Erm… bit awkward, I went for a hug and she walked off.
What kinda things did you chat about? Did it ever leave the vibe of just being friends? Not really, it was just a lot of getting to know each other, standard questions. It was nice finding out his interests, they were not that similar to mine.
Don’t worry man, did you attempt to recover? I turned it into a kind of a wave. Don’t know how well it worked. Apparently, she wanted to get back to watch Made in Chelsea. She said something about that. It’s not my kind of telly, I’m more of a The Killing and The Bridge kinda guy.
How long were you at Wetherspoons for and did you go anywhere else after that? Just under two hours. He walked me to the Metro.
Would you meet up again as friends? As friends would be fine, maybe with some more people too, not just us two, it would have to be in a group.
Okay, did anything, at that point, get romantic? No, it was a bit of an awkward goodbye, he was looking and I was like “Am I meant to hug you?”. I’m not a hugger and I was just like “Okay, bye” and then bolted through the Metro doors. When you got through the doors was there a feeling of relief that it was over? It was “Yes! I’m going back to see Made in Chelsea” - I knew that Made in Chelsea was on and I did have a 9 o’clock lecture this morning as well so I didn’t wanna get back too late. But I did have a nice evening with him, I’m just… I was running out of things to talk about with him. Do you feel like you held the floor of the conversation? No, no, I thought he did pretty well making conversation as well, better than most lads to be honest. That’s nice. So you were running out of things to say, do you think he could have been more cooperative? I think it was the stuff we were talking about, like when we were talking about his job I didn’t know what to ask him about because I have no idea about that kinda thing. I think he works in some kinda mountain outdoorsy shop. He was telling me the difference between two jackets and I was like “Cool”. Did he offer you any discounts on these jackets? No, I don’t think they’re the kinda jackets that I’d need to buy to be honest. I’m not planning on climbing a mountain anytime soon. Was he looking to continue stuff beyond the Metro? Did you get the impression that he would have liked to have gone further had Made in Chelsea not been on? I don’t know, it was just an awkward goodbye. I felt like he wanted something but I didn’t give him anything, I’m not a hugger and it was a first date that went more as a friendly first date, I just didn’t feel comfortable to do anything more than hug. So, how would you rate him out of ten and why? Such a mean thing to do… a good 7. The fact that he kept up the conversation, I was impressed with that. I don’t like it when conversation drops but every time that it was about to get to an awkward silence he filled it in.
She said that you had di different interests. Did that put you off ? She seemed reasonably interested about the outdoorsy stuff stu and she said likes swimming which is kind of outdoorsy. She said she lived in Malta which was pretty cool. Was there anything that was frustrating about her? Nothing that was a massive dealbreaker, just little things like music taste. I asked her about music and the first thing she said was not any heavy metal which is like “Oh, that is my kinda music”, and then she said “No indie as well”, and I was like, “And there’s the rest of it gone.” Was there any awkward moments? There were points at which the conversation burnt out and I had to jump back in with another question to keep it going, but there wasn’t anything too bad. Do you feel that she did enough to keep the conversation going? Or do you feel you were holding the floor for the most part of it? Yeah, my tactic in dates is to keep the girl talking so it’s more about her and I just end up replying to it rather than me talking about myself. I had to speak too much, yeah. Did you try anything romantic? Well I bought her a drink straight away and she was like, “You better not try and get me drunk”, and I was like “I wasn’t trying to spike your drinks, I was being nice.” She could have been a little less suspicious. Was there any point where you thought romance might blossom? As soon as we really got talking, it was kind of obvious that she wasn’t somebody that I could get that far with. We were incompatible really.
Looking for love? Send in your details to c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk
How would you rate Charlotte and why? Probably a 6, above average. She had a really nice dress sense, she had quite nice long legs, nice hair as well. Personality a 5, nothing special, nothing terrible.
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Monday 24 November 2014
The Courier
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Schopenhauer goes to Cosmic
’m a Window Schopenhauer. You are miserable, me too. We are all entangled in the vicious cycle of yearning, longing and desiring, a cycle that can never truly be broken and never becomes fulfilled. This cycle can however be momentarily interrupted, briefly put on hold when the Will is mirrored in the ebbing journey of music, when one becomes immersed in the absurdity of life and displays grotesque acts of Ill Behaviour. The place that allows this moment of suspension, where the Will is hoisted outside of space and time, can be described as a theatre, an arena, a Ballroom. The confines of this Ballroom, the metaphorical pause button on the Sky remote of life, takes beings into space, allowing them to see the cosmos in a transient moment of elevation. It is a Cosmic Ballroom. I strolled into the Ballroom, recognising immediately the purity of the music, the smooth ebb and flow that directly mirrors the yearning of my soul, and I thought to myself, “That drop was sick”. Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see. And then I saw her, a woman of true beauty, the Genius.
“Her jaw was operating at an inhuman speed”
She was stood eloquently at the bar with a poise only comparable to the heroines of Greek Mythology, I watched her in admiration as she sank a treble. Observing her, I entered into a state of pure contemplation, raised for a moment above all willing, outside of myself, floating in a realm of meditation. I sauntered across the Ballroom with more swagger than Wagner towards the Genius, but was abruptly interrupted by a specimen appearing in front of me. This new phenomena presented before me took the form of a crazed individual who sparked an intense curiosity within my being, her jaw operating at an inhuman speed and unhinging itself at animalistic angles. Her eyes were wide as if in a state of intense fear or excitement, I did not know which. Perhaps none. Perhaps both.
“I retired outside to smoke my pipe, allowing me a brief respite from the strife of desires”
I had never seen anything like this individual before in my life and I was intrigued, the question arose as to which curiosity to pursue, the Genius or the Gurnias. I had met a fork in the road, looking ahead at the uncertain pathways presenting themselves, I considered the questionable terrain that appeared before me. One seemed enticing, a dangerous, rocky pathway that looked precarious, especially seeing as I wasn’t equipped with the appropriate footwear for tackling such treacherous ground. The second seemed easier, a simpler road comprised of smooth concrete that seemed to suit my footing more adequately than the alternative; on a second glance however I noticed a large red sign, reading “Beware of oncoming vehicles ahead”. Both of these risky pathways caused a conflict within my Will. Refusing to immerse myself in this wicked cycle, I retired outside to smoke my pipe, allowing me a brief respite from the strife of desires. Sucking in the fumes of my pipe, I regarded the crowd of young individuals forming a queue to enter into the Ballroom. Musing to myself, I considered how much could be gained if, through appropriate advice and instruction, young people were able to eradicate their minds of the erroneous notion that the world has a great deal to offer them, such a shame that this cluster of humans expect such happiness from life. This train of thought was lost as my phone rang, I looked at the screen, it was my Will. I decided to put it on hold, return to the Ballroom and immerse myself in this absurd escape from existence, knowing too well that my Will is bound to call in the morning. As told to Jack Adcock
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“It had a thick crunchy exterior with a soft cummy centre”
Product: Christmas cornflake crunch Price: £1.70 Place of purchase: Costa Coffee Texture: When your teeth sink in to the Cornflake Crunch there is a pleasant juxtaposition of crunch and chew, the chocolate melts on your tongue and the cornflakes snap against your teeth. However, the pleasure of eating the crunch was undercut by the proceeding struggle which ensued. All the cornflakes got mashed into my teeth and the next ten minutes were spent clawing decomposed cornflake and cocoa out of my teeth. Taste: It actually tasted like chocolate, instead of Coco Pops which I often find with most crunchy cornflake products. The icing was really sickly though; I had to leave one of the leaves lest I be sick. It’s a shame there is no aesthetic category because it’s really pretty. Rating: 7.5/10 Annie Lord
“A masterpiece of mouthfeel”
Product: Soya praline cappuccino. The Courier aims to represent all its readers, including those afflicted with lactose intolerance. Price: £2.80 (Medium) Place of purchase: Costa Coffee Texture: Abundance of froth floating majestically on surface like the head on a well-poured pint of Guinness. Cappuccino itself available in standard liquid formula – not quite solid, not quite gaseous, but an alluring halfway-point. Possibly not of particularly textural interest, but significant either way, was the fact that the chocolate powder on top was METALLIC GOLD. Such witchcraft is surely beyond the capabilities of mere mortal barista. Taste: I have never really understood what the hell ‘praline’ is actually meant to be. Costa’s interpretation of it tasted like burnt nuts, but in an overwhelmingly positive way. Rating: 8.5/10 (extra 0.5 given for the fucking METALLIC GOLD POWDER). Kate Bennett
Product: Turkey & the trimmings toastie Price: £3.85 Place of purchase: Costa Coffee Texture: It had a thick crunchy exterior with a soft cummy centre. The pleasure of sinking my teeth into its cheese smothered crust was akin to my first open mouth kiss, but with less braces. Taste: At the forefront of the palette one feels the odd yet surprisingly welcome sweetness of the currants, freshly shrivelled in the gulags of Costa Coffee HQ. Shortly following this is the orgy of cheeses, making the passage of molars through toasted bread smoother than a hot knife through butter. Then came the oozing contents: I found the thrilling fillings of turkey, cranberry, and some other unknown Christmassy-tasting stuff sliding down my salivating tongue and straight into my gullet hole. The rest is a blur. I came to five minutes later, with a half-chewed toastie wrapper in my hand and drool dangling from my lapels. Rating: 9/10, only faulted by the price and the inducing of catatonic states. Jack Dempsey
“It’s a shame there’s no aesthetics category because it’s really pretty”
Product: Festive Bake Price: £1.40 Place of purchase: Greggs Texture: The subtle interplay of the super-crunchy pastry (which seems to have been Christmas’d up with the addition of something which gives it the texture of cream crackers, and has been given an architectural overhaul which presents the eater with a pastry slice which echoes the eaves of a cathedral in its swooping arches) with the gooey turkey-ish morass housed within was as close to a religious experience as it’s possible to get without being ordained. It had all the great bits of your average pasty but with hints of strudel and crackling. Simply put, a masterpiece of mouthfeel. Taste: Not really in the same exalted state as the texture, sadly. While I was promised chicken, bacon, pork stuffing, cranberry and onion relish, all served up in a sage sauce, I could pretty much just taste sage sauce with hints of chicken matter making occasional appearances. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it was also immediately clear that the thing had been rather oversold. Rating: 7.5/10. Overwhelming textures, underwhelming taste. So overall, just sort of whelming. Tom Nicholson
“Not quite solid, not quite gaseous, but an alluring halfway-point”
The Courier
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Monday 24 November 2014
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“In terms of appearance it could easily be confused with another kind of ‘Yule log’”
Product: Turkey, bacon, stuffing and cranberry sandwich Price: £2.70, £3.20 in meal deal Place of purchase: Boots Texture: Quite grim, this sandwich manages to be both dry and slimy at the same time. This combines into a paste like experience in the mouth that is unpleasant enough to make you sad, but not enough to make you stop eating it. Taste: The turkey is dry to the point it tastes what I imagine foam would taste like. The bacon has more flavour, but still does not taste anything like it should do. There for some reason is some spinach, which only adds disappointment to the experience. You haven’t done well when the bread is the best part of your sandwich. Rating: 3/10. Would be lower, but if you’re hungry anything goes. Laura Staniforth
Product: Salted caramel yule log Price: £1.80 Place of purchase: Costa Coffee Texture: Equivalent to a dry sponge, which pathetically wasn’t remedied by the cold sloppiness of the hidden caramel gunge. Topping was also strangely rubbery. Seems Mary Berry herself might need to intervene at some point if there’s any hope of salvation for this monstrosity Taste: Bland, with the exception of the caramel. which had a weird aniseed twist to it that wasn’t welcome. No bonus points for appearance as it easily could be confused with another kind of ‘Yule log’ - the only difference is one is wrapped in cake paper. Rating: 2/10 Rosie Bellini
“The oral experience is unpleasant enough to make you sad, but not sad enough to make you stop eating it”
I was surprised to discover this taste combination excels on every level”
Product: Brownie hot chocolate Price: £3.60 (Medium) Place of purchase: Costa Coffee Texture: Akin to the chocolate slop left at the bottom of a mug of instant hot chocolate: grainy and thick (but not in a good way like Bisto’s gravy). Taste: Although undeniably chocolate taste, at times it tasted more like a processed potato than a brownie due to a strong starchy flavour. More of meal than a drink, recommended for those who want to fill out those Christmas jumpers this holiday season. Rating: 3/10 Rosie Bellini
“The contents caused my mouth to go into epileptic shock”
Product: Soya gingerbread latte Price: £2.85 (Small) Place of purchase: Costa Coffee Texture: This drink just felt classy. Not too thick, but not too thin and pathetic and weak; Costa managed to get the perfect smoothie feel of a latte with exactly the right ratio of light frothiness. Taste: I won’t lie, I didn’t have high hopes as I’d never really been satisfied dunking gingerbread men or ginger nuts into coffee. So I was pleasantly surprised to discover this taste combination excels on every level. Right amount of gingerbread flavouring? Check. Right amount of latte warmth yumminess? Check. The gingerbread added a delicious sweetness to the drink and I found myself commenting, “This is soooo good!” throughout the entirety of drinking it. Rating: 10/10. Bravo Costa, bravo. Kate Dewey
“It tasted more like a processed potato due to strong starchy flavours” Product: Mince pie Price: Free Place of purchase: Greggs Texture: As my teeth first touched the pastry shell, the south wall crumbled to dust and six raisins tragically fell to their death. My tears added some much needed moisture to the rest of the pie crust, making it somewhat more chewable, but not really. The lump of congealed currants however did prove to be a soft gooey chew, wrapping themselves cloyingly around every contour of my gums. Taste: After breaking through the fortress of flour, the sweetness of the contents caused my mouth to go instantly into epileptic shock. After a shot of insulin, I forced myself to have another bite. I chewed, and then the mince pie was no more. All I had left was a vine’s worth of wizened grapes in my molars and a strangely metallic taste in my mouth. Rating: 5. The freeness of the product boosts its score by 6 points. Jack Dempsey
Guys on the pull: the categories !"#"$$%&'(##)&!"#$%&'%&(& )$*(+$&,$-%,$./"#$&01&/2,$%& 0)&,'++"1!&!(*$
E
xposed to a nightclub environment, those of the male population who are normally intelligent, respectable students and beloved friends of females seem to undergo a shameless transformation. Even the shyest and sweetest guys are guilty of morphing into one of these predatory persons after a few trebles. The Lurker Usually the more drunk members of the male gender or simply the downright creepy, The Lurker will trail and follow the female like a lost child around the club with the hope of finally grinding down the female’s patience. The girl must then adopt tactics of instantaneously shifting sexuality, burying her face in her friends hair, or just screaming “Fuck off !”. The more confident Lurker will occasionally place a hand on the girl’s hip, or attempt to dance.
“The Gentleman can sadly be taken advantage of by the more frugal student girl”
The Gentleman: Becoming more and more scarce is the traditionalist. The Gentleman will approach a female and ask if she would like to be bought a drink. Although this may evoke suspicion as to an ulterior motive, this is usually an innocuous gesture. The Gentleman can sadly be taken advantage of by the more frugal student girl, accepting the drink only to flee to the toilet.
“Their game is to throw you a three or four second seductive stare”
The Romeo: Who said love at first sight doesn’t exist? A Romeo, the Gentleman’s poetic cousin, targets the more prudish lady, believing the only way to pull a girl is to convince her of her specialness. Typical chat-up lines include: “You are the fittest girl I have ever seen,” or, “I saw you and just had to come over”. Or, for the bolder Romeo, the devastatingly simple, “You’re beautiful”. The Nonchalant Poser: The opposite of most other males on the pull, the Nonchalant Poser prefers to be chased by the female. Their game is to throw you a three or four second seductive stare then look away, act mysteriously, and hope for their good looks to do the talking.
“Agony Uncle spends his night helping the crying, sick or lost girls ”
The Agony Uncle: Hoping to disprove the phrase ‘Nice guys always finish last’, the Agony Uncle inevitably spends his night out helping out the crying, sick or lost girls. You would hope these guys would have more tact than to try it on with said female and opt to ask for a number instead (perhaps to check if the girl is feeling better). But sadly there are those guys who do scan clubs looking for the vulnerable. The Protector: Perhaps the most manipulative of all the categories, Protectors use the tactic of differentiating themselves as above other males. They will become your temporary boyfriend, shielding you from the advances of other such types as the lurker and maybe even going so far as claiming you their ‘bird’ or ‘missus’. These males will often feel it their responsibility to see girls home safe, in the hope of being invited inside for a nightcap. And if not, no pride lost, they were just being a ‘gentleman’.
16.fashion
Monday 24 November 2014
The Courier
Fashion Editors: Amy O’Rourke and Hannah Fitton Online Fashion Editor: Hannah Goldstein
DIY, or DIdon’t Tessa Jones Discover one of fashion’s untold secrets: the release of flat-pack clothing range
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overcrafts and time travel are how some people envisage our society advancing but, according to one Swedish businessman, the future of fashion is flat-pack. The country that gave us revolutionary build-it-yourself furniture superstore Ikea, has now come up with a similar idea for our clothes, taking minimalism in a whole different direction. Stefan Engeseth, a Fortune 500 business consultant, has said in a press release “fashion is an expression of how to package and sell design” and he thinks the pull of this idea is the customers being able to “personalise and ‘hack’ the designs”. The basic premise of his idea is that a customer would buy, presumably with flat-pack specialists Ikea as the initial retailer, a pack containing all the materials to make their own pieces of clothing by following a set of instructions, be that a top or pair of trousers. They would then be able to customise it according to their own preference, creating a basic yet personalised garment.
“Hovercrafts and time travel are how some people envisage our society advancing but, according to one Swedish businessman, the future of fashion is flat-pack”
This is fast-fashion taken to the next level, and might actually be more feasible than it sounds. With adjustable waistbands and universal sizes, these packs can be mass produced quickly and cheaply enough to match the rapidly changing trends of most popular high street stores. Engeseth has been noted as saying he thinks the items will bring sentimental value, since the wearers will have put their own energy and creative efforts into assembling them. Vintage fashion is popular due to the uniqueness and history of the pieces, so how is this idea much different? The stories are simply a lot fresher. Although, is it really worth the effort when the story to tell is one of you sitting for hours attempting to put the pieces of fabric together in a way that doesn’t look like you’ve actually made it yourself? Since most of us have first-hand experience of the perils of trying to fix up the ‘easy assemble’ bookcases and desks of Ikea, there’s a worry the clothes could be just as complicated. Nobody wants to be stressing out over assembling their new top before they can leave the house in it.
“If your bookcase falls apart then you end up with a mess on the floor, but if your trousers whip off when you’re out and about it’s you that ends up as the mess”
An additional worry is that since you’re putting it together so easily yourself, it might come apart just as easily. If your bookcase falls apart then you end up with a mess on the floor, but if your trousers whip off when you’re out and about it’s you that ends up as the mess, which is less than ideal. Furthermore, this new concept will take away the thrill and excitement of shopping. You can easily spend hours wandering from shop to shop in Eldon Square, browsing thousands of items and trying different outfits on - all of which is lost in the purchase of a uniformed, one-size-fits-all item. Lost as well are the intricate detailing, creative designs and fine cuts that come with shopping with the experts. I personally wouldn’t stop my afternoon trips and online browsing in favour of that. No businesses have made any immediate plans to turn flat-pack fashion into reality, but would you take part in “the longest catwalk ever” if it were to happen?
A rise in the ‘plus size’
With Calvin Klein using a size 14 model, Victoria Thewlis takes a look at the controversial topic of the fashion industry using ‘plus sized’ models
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es it is true: if you are a UK size 14 or above you are ‘plus sized’ in the eyes of the fashion industry. There has been much controversy lately about Calvin Klein’s use of alleged ‘plus size’ models. In their most recent campaign the brand have featured model, Myla Dalbesio, who at 5ft 11 and a size 14, is regarded as a ‘plus size’ model. That’s great, finally we can see a model who represents an average healthy woman. Wrong. In fact we are all being led to believe that Dalbesio is plus sized, rather than a standard, healthy size. While Calvin Klein didn’t explicitly state that Dalbesio was plus sized in their campaign, Elle did, which instigated a frenzy on twitter, with women attacking the concept of how someone who is a size 14 could be classed as plus size. Dalbsio’s own insecurities of her body size were shown when she told Elle, “I’m not the biggest girl on the market but I’m definitely bigger than all the girls [Calvin Klein] has ever worked with, so that is really intimidating”. Myla Dalbesio isn’t the only ridiculous case of fit and healthy women being categorised as ‘big’. Australian model Robyn Lawley was first used in Vogue Italia’s plus sized issue in June 2011, despite being a slim size 16. While it is great that they have both made fame from being a ‘plus sized’ model, I worry that women are exposed, by the media, to the idea that size 14 and above is large. Although Lawley and Dalbesio are happy with being referred to as plus sized, how is it supposed to make women and girls out there that are size 16 and above feel, knowing that this is how they are being viewed by the fashion industry? Yes, it may be said that compared to the typical size 6 models, Lawley and Dalbesio are plus sized, but in the real world they are attractive, healthy women. While some may argue that is a huge step forward for designers to be using models above a size 6, I can’t help but be shocked at the fact that these
“Should we be grateful that size 12 women, like me, can now model for the likes of Calvin Klein, or should we be insulted that we are apparently plus sized?” women are being called ‘big’. Is this a sign that the leaders of the fashion industry are coming round to the ‘unthinkable’ concept of curves, or is it just a reassertion that they are clueless? Should we be grateful that size 12 women, like me, can now model for the likes of Calvin Klein, or should we be insulted that we are apparently plus sized? I am not suggesting that designers start using, unhealthily big models, much like the unhealthily small models they use now. This is a calling for variety, it is time that we start seeing a range of healthy sized women on the catwalk and in the magazines. Let’s loose the distinction between normal models and ‘plus sized’ ones and just invite a range of shapes and sizes to model the clothes that we as consumers will be buying.
Who are you calling ‘dummy’? After the recent Topshop scandal, Dominique Daly considers the powerful influence of the shop window mannequin
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t’s a tale as old as the catwalk: the fashion industry receiving critique over the weight of its models, accused of promoting unhealthy body images to millions of young women around the world. It’s an industry plagued with rumours of eating disorders and drug abuse in order to maintain the ‘fashion figure’. But are these unhealthy ideals moving off the catwalk and onto our high streets? Affordable fashion giant Topshop have found themselves at the centre of a body image row as one customer took to twitter to showcase shocking images of their disproportionate mannequins. The customer in question was Becky Hopper, whose photograph showing the juxtaposition between a real size 8/10 woman (her friend Georgia Bibby) and the supposedly size 10 plastic poser. The difference in the image was drastic and Becky’s photo went viral, being retweeted 6,000 times. Many outraged shoppers have accused Topshop’s representation of the female body of being irresponsible and in need of rectification. However, Topshop’s response was far from apologetic, stating that: “The mannequin in question has been used in stores the past four years and is based on a standard UK size 10. The overall height, at 187cm, is taller than the
mean what the fashion industry appears to think is too big. The average size of a UK woman is a size 14, however many models in today’s industry are dubbed a ‘plus-size’ at this size. Take the case of Myla Dalbesio, who was the face of yet another ferocious internet size debate when her Calvin Klein campaign received criticism for her branding as a plus-size model.
“Many outraged shoppers have accused Topshop’s representation of the female body of being irresponsible and in need of rectification”
average girl and the form is a stylised one to have more impact in store and create a visual focus”. It seems mannequins, just like models, are intended to be representations of above average body shapes, elongation and a lack of curves are intended to best showcase the art that is hung upon them. The body is merely a canvas. But does this mean there is no place for ‘fat’ in fashion? And by fat I don’t mean actual fat, I
The response was that if women of Dalbesio’s size (which is the average) are considered too big to be ‘straight sized’ models, what message we are sending to all women who are one or two sizes above her. The negative connotations are rampant and the industry seems unable to shake off its historical skinny is pretty agenda. It’s not all bad news however; many high street shops have taken steps to include realistic mannequin representations. Debenhams, who started using size 16 models in 2013, have met much praise from this initiative, celebrating the variety of female bodies. However, we have to think beyond promoting healthy body ideals, we all know fashion is a business, mannequins are used to sell clothes! Surprisingly, studies have shown that bigger mannequin’s equal bigger sales, as women are more likely to splurge on clothes that are advertised by women their own size. After all, it’s all about that bass.
The Courier
fashion.17
Monday 24 November 2014
thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion Instagram:@thecourierfashion | Facebook: facebook.com/thecourierfash |Email: c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk |
Beckham for Burberry
With Burberry using Romeo Beckham as brand ambassador, Kate Bennett explores the consequences of using child stars in fashion advertising campaigns
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ou might have spotted Burberry’s latest ad campaign knocking around the place recently. The ads are pretty boring, and the video is your standard schmaltzy pre-Christmas vomitfest – stunningly attractive young men and women wearing beige trenchcoats do an over-choreographed dance while an impish young lad grins winningly at the camera. The reason the otherwise-dull campaign has garnered so much attention this year is that the impish young lad in question happens to be one Romeo Beckham, twelve-year-old offspring of Posh and Goldenballs, second-in-line to the throne of Beckingham Palace. There are a fair few issues surrounding the use of kids in high-fashion modeling campaigns, and the appointment of MiniBeckham II as Burberry’s latest brand ambassador has thrown them all up in the air once again, to be juggled about by the media. Many newspapers have focused on the fact that Romeo reportedly earned £45,000 for his jaunt in front of the Burberry cameras, a staggering amount of money for an alreadywealthy pre-teen to be given for doing, let’s face it, not very much. The average annual wage in Britain, just as an aside, is £26,500. I realise that the preposterous amounts of money earned by models isn’t Romeo Beckham’s fault, but the facts that a) he got the gig mostly because of his surname, and b) he is twelve years old, means that it still stings quite a bit. This brings me onto his age, and another problem often associated with child modelling – the po-
“There are a fair few issues surrounding the use of kids in high-fashion modelling campaigns, and the appointment of MiniBeckham II as Burberry’s latest brand ambassador has thrown them all up in the air once again”
tential for inappropriate sexualization. Beckham’s Burberry campaign is innocent enough, but other child models have previously been photographed in ways that could and have been labelled inappropriate. A couple of years ago, supermodel Cindy Crawford’s then ten-year-old daughter Kaia Gerber attracted controversy after fronting a Young Versace campaign, in which she wore a short skirt and was made-up to appear older than she was; shortly afterwards her mother put an end to Gerber’s modelling career, stating that she was “too young”. An even higher-profile case was that of actress Dakota Fanning, whose ad campaign for Marc Jacobs’ perfume Oh Lola! was actually banned for being ‘sexually provocative’ back in 2011. The advert saw Fanning sitting with a large bottle of the perfume between her legs, which wouldn’t have been a problem in itself if not for the fact that the British Advertising Standards Authority found that Fanning appeared underage in the photograph. Jacobs managed to dig himself deeper into the hole when he explained that he’d chosen the actress because she “could be this contemporary Lolita, seductive yet sweet”. Note to fashion designers in the middle of a child sexualisation controversy: try not to bring up Nabokov’s novel about a middle-aged man’s affair with a twelve-year-old girl while you’re attempting to defuse the situation. Modelling is a mostly unregulated world where money and sex mean everything, and little concern is given to the effect of this on models’ wellbeing. Essentially, if children are going to be employed in this environment, the industry needs to start considering what the effects of all this money and sex are going to do to them.
War on Want Kathryn Holland
A look at allegations against Adidas and their new equality-themed collaboration
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n 2012, during the lead up to the London Olympic Games, War on Want revealed that thousands of people around the world were working long hours in appalling conditions for poverty wages making Adidas goods. War on Want, the organisation which fights poverty in developing countries in partnership with people who affected by globalisation, launched a new campaign which highlighted the issue. Adidas, outraged by the claims of the charity, denied any such actions. An Adidas spokeswoman at the time said: “We take all allegations about working conditions extremely seriously and will investigate any new claims immediately… But it is very important to note that we found no evidence to support claims made in a previous War on Want report about factory conditions in Bangladesh.” However this statement seems somewhat insubstantial as in December 2013 Adidas agreed to compensate 2,800 Indonesian garment workers who were owed $1.8million in severance pay after the closure of the PT Kizone sportswear factory. It would seem that these are the actions of a guilty party trying to make amends and salvage a reputation.
“Despite Adidas’ protestations, it’s hard to see the brand as a reformed figure, paving the way for Kathryn Holland unzips the boiler suit and shows us styles for both day and night worker equality”
The suit of the season
hop Tops
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oilersuits are back and they are here to stay! No longer purely the garm of your local car mechanic, it’s time you embraced the boiler in all its glory. This winter lose the tights and fussy dresses and don a boilersuit; it’s a homage to functionality. The boiler suit became the item to be seen in, worn by many a frow attendee including Victoria Beckham, Kate Moss, Dree Hemmingway and Stella McCartney. Not only were they the clothing item of choice for those attending, the boilersuit also featured widely on the runway including: Christian Dior and Richard Nicoll. Boilersuits are a great statement outfit that comes
in a variety of styles. Once again Topshop reigns supreme in the battle of the boiler suits. They have a dark denim number, with a draw string waist and rose gold popper buttons, which can be dressed up with a fluffy clutch and heels for the evening, or oxblood pumpsfor the day. Though, it may feel as though you’re all covered up, the boilersuit is a perfect way of flashing some flesh, unzip or unbutton that previously unflattering onesie and show some cleavage, roll up the ankle as well for some old fashion flirtation. The beauty of the boilersuit is that you can make it as fitted or as loose as you want so use those drawstrings and zips and create a style that is comfort-
able for you. You can wear it with a variety of footwear. Pair a denim boilersuit with some Nike Pegasus for a sporty chic look, or alternatively add heels. Not only does it add a certain je ne se quoi, it’s a great option for someone who isn’t 6ft1. Jewellery is a also a great friend of the boiler suit, add a statement necklace to add some sparkle to an exposed collarbone and some glamour to the most practical of garments. Not only is the boilersuit a great fashion statement, the fact that it’s an all in one means that you won’t get any nasty gusts of cold Toon air blowing under your top!
This year saw the company launch a new campaign which is in partnership with megastar Pharrell Williams and has tag-lines such as “Equality is Love”, “Equality is Acceptance” and “Equality is Strength.” What else would we expect from the man who brought us the multi-ethnic, all inclusive ‘Happy’ video? The campaign features bright, colourful striking photos shot by young photographer Ryan McGinley. There are close-ups of models from all backgrounds and aerial views of happy young people with their arms around each other, standing in an equal sign formation. It may be refreshing to see Williams and Adidas working together to promote social equality and awareness. However, the prices of the collaboration pieces don’t scream equality and affordability. The Stan Smith Sneakers available in “quirky felt” are £85, or £110 if you want the leather version. There’s also a new track jacket available in satin for £90, or, if you fancy, the lamb’s leather version for a whopping £800. Not only this, but earlier this year a Chinese factory, Yue Chen, which produces Adidas goods, saw its workers go on strike due to poor pay and unfair benefits. It seems that Adidas were on the side of the workers, unlike Timberland, another brand that used the factory. In a statement issued to the Guardian Adidas stated: “Throughout the strike, the Adidas Group was closely monitoring the situation and in touch with our partner Pou Chen Group [the parent company of Yue Yuen]. Pou Chen Group was in direct discussion with the local government and the trade union federation to seek ways to address the concerns expressed by the workers.” Despite this, it’s hard to see the brand as a reformed figure, paving the way for worker equality. Like the case in 2012 it’s only after they are exposed that Adidas acts. As for Williams who in an interview with GQ said: “I’m the most indiscriminate person that there is! I believe in equality.” Perhaps should review who he goes into partnership next time.
18.beauty
Monday 24 November 2014
The Courier
Beauty Editors: Charlotte Davies and Charlotte Maxwell Online Editor: Kathy Davidson
Blokey beauty
Faking the perfect pout Ellen Walker shows us how to achieve a pert pout that will make us the envy of Kylie Jenner
Male grooming icons Michael Onoba tells us about his grooming inspirations and why ‘doing you’ is paramount
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entor and mentee, master and student, Morpheus and Neo, Mr. Miyagi and The Karate Kid. Incase you haven’t clued in yet, this week we’re going to be exploring the idea of having a person you look up to, greatly admire and most likely depend on a tad too much emotionally. Like the big brother you never had or big brothers because hey, why not? We are going to explore this most sacred of male grooming and style relationships, what is fine and can be encouraged, what’s too far, and maybe I might even share who I see as a Morpheus or Mr Miyagi depending on how big the gun you’re holding to my head is or my word count, whatever comes first. The first person you always check with regarding whether that fedora matches your handlebar moustache or if the lights on your sneakers flicker enough to illuminate your eyes is you. You are port of fedora decision making numero uno. However, having a person to check with just to be sure you’re on point is always a positive. For example, when I’m confused I always ask myself, “WWLD?” (What Would Leonardo Do), Di Caprio to be precise. When the man is not running things on Wall Street on screen, he is running things everywhere else in the real world including in the world of facial perfection and swag. Mr. Di Caprio I tip my fedora off to you my good man, carry on.
“You’re on the right track, that comb over is definitely how you’re gonna impress Amber from your 9am Thermodynamics lecture”
Sometimes we as men need someone to just confirm “you’re on the right track, that comb over is definitely how you’re gonna impress Amber from your 9am Thermodynamics lecture”. Yes, we are all self-assured and confident but we’re not Thor. Speaking of which: Mr. Chris H, have a fist bump. How about those times you just think “maybe I’m cool, I do alright but why can’t I be suave like Idris”, Mr. Elba: welcome to the club. You too can have a fist bump, as you encouraged me to dedicate myself to my moisturising routine. Elba, I salute you. How about when the month formerly known as November, now known as Movember comes around (get involved people, health is wealth, donate, learn and if you’re up to it grow a stache). You like me are committed to helping the cause of promoting men’s health but whenever you try and grow a moustache you have very little success (I have facial hair quandaries, okay?). But, if you do somehow manage it (pass on your tips to the editors and they shall reach me), you need to model your ‘stache on someone that has that facial hair science down and strapped: not Santa Claus, but Johnny Depp. I twist my own stache to you Mr. Depp. Welcome to the club, take a seat. That said, how far is too far? At what point do your friends need to stage an intervention explaining to you that “Michael, no matter how hard you try you’re never going be Hugh Jackman”? (It was just my childhood dream to be in X-Men okay? Meeting J-Law would, of course, be a bonus.) I digress, but all I’m saying is that when you begin to make decisions purely and only on the basis of what someone else does, whoever it may be, then my friend, it’s gone too far. Amongst all of my jesting, written gymnastics and general tomfoolery, I would like to conclude by making the important point that though it’s perfectly fine to look up to someone, the book starts and ends with you. So put on that cologne and slap on that moisturiser, tip your fedora, then go out there and be you because hey, everyone else is taken. Now, whose line was that?
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ossessing the perfect pout has recently become as popular in the celebrity world as botox and boob jobs, with massive celeb personalities such as Lindsey Lohan, Jennifer Garner and Katie Price all braving the needle for fuller lips to rival the likes of Angelina Jolie. A sexy pout has become one of the most desired and easily accessible enhancements in the entertainment industry, with loads of celebrities rumoured to have indulged in a little needle action of their own. More recently, the rumour mill has been going crazy, with suspicions that Kylie Jenner, at only 16, has hopped on the bandwagon to surgically enhance her smackers. When Kylie first dampened these rumour claiming ‘it’s just makeup’, our response was to add her to the ever-growing pile of celebs who attempt to shrug off their obvious body adaptations, and claim them as being ‘natural’. However, upon further inspection, we have let up on the edgy teen: since discovering that there are many tips and tricks you can incorporate into your everyday makeup to enhance your natural lips into red carpet-worthy kissers. Start off by dampening the colour of your lips using a small amount of concealer or a nude matte powder, this allows a clean base for you to recreate your accentuated lips as well and making your lip-
stick colour far more vibrant. Use a lip liner which is a shade or two darker than your chosen lipstick colour and line the edges of your lips; the trick here is to exaggerate the placement of the lip liner slightly out of your natural lip lines but only in the central areas of your lips: otherwise you’ll end up resembling a drunken clown - not a good look. When your lips are fully lined, bring this darker shade in slightly to make the line a bit thinker; then, apply your lighter lipstick to the rest of your lips, don’t be afraid to apply plenty to really build up the colour. Pop a tiny bit of highlighter right in the inside centre of your lower lip; thus creating an ombre effect which will make your lips appear more dynamic. Using a lipstick brush, or even just your finger, lightly dab to blend any harsh lines between colours to give a more natural appearance. Use concealer or foundation on a small brush to clean up the edges of your lips and create a greater contrast between your lips and your skin, this contrast will really make your lips pop. To finish off, highlight your philtrum and around your cupids bow to lift your top lip and use a contour powder, bronzer or even a light brown eye shadow to apply to the small ‘dimple’ beneath your lower lip: this will really give your lower lip that extra pouty oomph.
Products used: MAC pro longwear lip pencil in ‘In Anticipation’; MAC Lustre lipstick in ‘Viva Glam V’; MAC prep+prime highlighter; and sleek contour palette. (Yes I’m obsessed with MAC, but high street alternatives will work just as well.)
Bringing back the bush Rhiannon Teague discusses why pubic hair may be making a return to popularity - in the form of pricey transplants
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ubic hair is something many of us rarely show off to the public, unlike say, the hair on our head but a lot of women and men decide to style it, dye it, or get rid of it completely. Over the past few decades, Brazilian and Hollywood styles have become more popular among women and many attribute this to the styles shown by women in pornography and as pornography is mainly aimed toward a male audience, it’s likely that some women are unfortunately adopting these styles because it appears they think this is what men prefer and so they may feel they have to. Surprisingly after a dry spell of pubic trends, the last being 2010s ‘Vajazzling’ and 2013s ‘Vajacial’ (Apparently that’s a 30 minute vagina facial - Thanks TOWIE), ), a new trend has arisen – The pubic hair transplant. The procedure is mostly being carried out in Korea and is apparently costly, so why are women carrying out this procedure? Refinery 29 reported that Korean women see pubic hair as a sign of “sexual health and fertility”, and I can understand the fertility part seeing as we sprout our pubes around about the time we become fertile. It’s one reason why some women dislike the Hollywood style, and as one friend put it: “It makes you have the vagina of a child and it’s creepy”. Fair enough. Weirdly another factor towards the increase in popularity of this procedure is that Korean men believe that it’s unlucky to have sex with a woman who isn’t sporting a full lady garden, although a 2006 study stated that the pressure is actually coming more so from other women than it is from men and this isn’t just in Korea, women universally are seemingly programmed to judge other women’s appearances as to establish competition,
a harsh reality. Personally I feel trends that oppose what we see in the porn industry have some positivity, especially when the institute for public policy and research found that 77% of 500 girls surveyed said that they felt pressure from the porn industry to look a certain way and even more worryingly, 75% of them said it causes pressure on them to act a certain way.
“Personally I feel trends that oppose what we see in the porn industry have some positivity” On the other hand it appears this trend has also arisen from societal pressures and so I can’t view this trend as being very positive because women shouldn’t feel pressured into spending money on gaining pubic hair as much as they shouldn’t feel pressured into getting rid of it. Unexpectedly 51% of 1,870 women who answered a poll carried out by UK medics do not “style or groom their pubic hair” with 45% of us admitting we “can no longer be bothered to keep up the grooming”, basically, whether you love the au naturale look or you shape your pubes into a nice little heart (a friend said she used to) or you dye yours bright green and pink the overall point is that it’s up you, and anyone who won’t go near your vagina because of what you decide to do with yours isn’t worth your time and can frankly (word rhyming with luck) off.
The Courier
beauty.19
Monday 24 November 2014
thecourieronline.co.uk/beauty Instagram @courier_beauty | Twitter @CourierBeauty
The bane of beauty
The Politics of Primers
Flo Davies delves into the greatest beauty bust-ups and talks us through her solution Beth Gray talks colour Removing face makeup
Dull complexion and dark under-eye circles
Ruined make-up brushes
Bioderma Crealine H2O Micelle Solution
Maybelline DreamLumi touch highlighting concealer and Mac Nylon eyeshadow
Wash them regularly
correcting primers on a budget
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one are the days of using baby wipes to remove my makeup: Bioderma Crealine is the only product needed in your skincare regime, I am completely converted. Bioderma has always been a well talked about product within the beauty industry, a must have product for make up artists all over the world. Formally only available in French pharmacy’s, the cult French cleaning water is now available online in the UK. Simply soak two or so cotton pads in the solution and gently swipe over the face in a circular motion to remove all face make up, and what’s so great about this product is that it can be also be used to remove eye make too. With the micellar solution’; consisting of oils held in water molecules the product offer the effectiveness of an oil-based makeup remover with the gentleness of water, whilst it feels just like water sweeping over your face, the soothing feeling of your skin after using the product is what sells me. The regular sized product comes in a 500ml bottle, but a 100ml is also available, which is perfection when it comes to travelling.
e often miss out on our much-needed beauty sleep and bleary eyes are the key giveaway. Applying the illuminating concealer under the eye in a ‘V’ motion, either blending in with the warmth of the fingertip, or using a small concealer brush works absolute wonders. This will instantly brighten up your complexion, giving the deceiving illusion of an awakened student; it re-balances dark undertones, yet still covering those pesky imperfections. The product can also be applied to the sides of the nose, and onto the chin to give your face a luminous glow, for transition into more of a evening look apply in small strokes to cheekbones and blend, as to sculpt and highlight facial features. To enhance this fresh faced look, apply a pigmented neutral based eye shadow (Mac’s Nylon eyeshadow is the best for this), using a small angled eye shadow brush in the tear duct area, as well as a little over and under; the colour evenly widens the eye area to provide you with an effortless essence of the illusion that you are much more ‘bright eyed’ and much more well rested than you actually are!
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ime to tackle one of beauty’s biggest bores. Are you depriving your make up brushes of a good wash? Cleaning your make up brushes is an essential part of your beauty regime as it breaks down the oils and pigments that build up in the hairs, letting brushes sit with product on them for too long can permanently damage the bristles. Every now and again it’s good to give them a deep clean to rinse out any bacteria, using these on your face daily can cause deep product buildup and a viscous cycle of bacteria coming into contact with your skin, so here’s some tips to get them clean: After pointing the brush down, rinsing the tip in lukewarm water, pour a small amount of your brush cleaner (I love using either Johnson baby shampoo or Doctor Bronner’s magic soap ‘Baby Mild’ ) into the palm of your hand until a lather is formed: Pour, swirl, rinse, reshape, repeat! How you dry your brushes is critical too: lay them on a flat surface, ideally on top of a towel, if you put them upright in a cup, water can seep into the base and rot the brush. Simply leave them to dry overnight and then voila, they’re done.
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eing a student, splashing our loan money on makeup that sits under foundation and is hardly seen seems a bit of waste and hardly a priority. The purpose of primers are to smooth and perfect the skin to ease foundation application and create a natural glow without the need for excessive highlighting. With the famous MAC ‘prep and prime’ and Smashbox primers looming large in the beauty industry, and looming large in their price tags, going for around £25 each, it definitely seems like a beauty buy to give a miss.
French fancies
Kirat Sagoo talks us through French icon Caroline de Maigret’s new book, Parisian beauty and why we’re so taken by the French
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oila Caroline de Maigret, the French icon of cool has explained the French allure at last. It’s all in her new book unashamedly titled How To Be Parisian, Wherever You Are which I picked up out of irritation. Fashion magazines are tirelessly chanting about the way French women eat, walk, and love as if they are born with a superior sense of style, that I wanted to see if this voice would dispel all the myths. I was pleasantly surprised by Maigret’s honesty. She openly reveals that certain ‘american-isms’ such as the gym culture and plastic surgery have entered Parisian culture and YES they are just as obsessive about their appearance, but in a different way. The famous ‘allure’ which oozes effortless chic is in reality, very high maintenance. The secret to what makes a Parisienne is her mission to create the best version of herself, to embrace the imperfections and enhance her natural beauty just enough to show that she takes care of herself…and then let’s her confidence shine thorough and do the rest if the talking. This may all seem slightly idealistic but think about it... is there anything more attractive than someone who seems to be comfortable in themselves? I’m glad to see that the ‘natural’ trend was embraced by makeup artists on the S/S catwalks and had once again been revived for the winter party season. Models have fresh, ‘dewy’ complexions with light pink lips and many of the products used are organic. Some skin care saviours to look
“We should only ever consider makeup as an accessory because, in the words of Coco Chanel, “Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty”
for this winter include clay based face masks to cleanse and oils such as rose and coconut for replenishing dry skin. There is general agreement that a facial oil along with a good moisturiser such as Dr Hauschka’s Rose Day Cream are essential for creating a good base. This is followed by subtly defining brows and finishing of the look with a light lip colour- Burt’s Bees lip crayons are a popular choice.
Obviously it may not be easy to walk into a Christmas party with understated makeup but that’s when Maigret would step-up the ‘nonchalance’. All too often women turn down compliments and find it easier to list their negative attributes rather than their qualities, but recognising and loving what makes us different is the real foundation-the more we appreciate our own beauty, the less layers of Dior we need. It’s probably no great coincidence that feminism and natural beauty have shone this year. We should only ever consider makeup as an accessory because, in the words of Coco Chanel, “Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.” I’ll definitely be going for a lighter look this year, because the secret is in replacing the red lipped pout with a soft stained smile. To look careless and have a little attitude… you don’t have to be French.
“With two types to choose from, colour-correcting and airbrush effect, Topshop claims to create a ‘perfectly flawless, unblemished makeup base’; confident talk, but can it really deliver this?”
This is indeed what I thought before sampling the Topshop primer from the new Topshop ‘The Face’ collection. Retailing at £12 this product really is a steal. With two types to choose from, colourcorrecting and airbrush effect, Topshop claims to create a ‘perfectly flawless, unblemished make-up base’; confident talk, but can it really deliver this? What I liked about this primer first of all was that Topshop provides an option for those with blemished skin, the colour-correcting primer appealing to those with uneven skin tone and rosacea, which I myself have some trouble with. The cream itself is green (very strange when you’re used to the clarity of MAC primer), presumably to even out skin tone and make the complexion all one colour. The application is very smooth and foundation is easier to apply after one application, I also found that I was more sparing with my foundation as it smoothed to all corners of my face. Moreover, the amount in the bottle is 30ml, a really generous amount considering the cheap pricing of the product, and since only a little is needed due to it’s smooth consistency, it will last a few months at least. The verdict? A very happy customer. My face appeared to have more of a glow and the rosacea on my cheeks was very much reduced by the colourcorrecting primer, with foundation staying on all day and definitely going on smoother. Of course going into Christmas our loans are steadily running out or being spent on Christmas presents but this is definitely a beauty buy worth treating yourself with. It 100% does what it says on the box and makeup does look light and not too caked on the face and as it claims to be suitable for sensitive skin, anyone can use this product without fear. For £12, in fact, for £10.80 with student discount, this is definitely a beauty buy I’m going to keep investing in, and definitely think you should too.
20.arts
Monday 24 November 2014
The Courier
Arts Editors: Lucy Chenery and Becka Crawshaw Online Arts Editor: Jess Harman
Object of my affections
Charlotte Maxwell tackles the controversial retrospective of Allen Jones, whose art collection ‘Hatstand, Table and Chair’ quite literally turns women into part of the furniture
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Holly Argent visits the Star and Shadow Cinema and takes a look at the Yellow Wallpaper exhibition
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etish furniture seems to be trending in the art world; it’s just a dire pity that it’s emancipation is born in the most sexist of creations. Allen Jones currently has an retrospective of his notorious artwork - supposedly ‘forwardthinking’ pieces of art, which simultaneously objectify women within their bold statements. It is not the first time within an artistic expression of 2014 that women have been turned into chairs and draped in an arrangement of fetish leather. Norwegian artist, Bjarne Melgaard took inspiration from Jones and created a similar art work using a black woman as a chair for white editor-in-chief of Garage magazine, Dasha Zhukova. Melgaard intended to emulate the gender and racial politics that has always been a focus point of Jones’ work. However, this in itself formulates a number of issues. Melgaard’s work emulates the concept of white supremacy, whilst Jones’ work takes the female body and exploits it as an artistic canvas.
wonderfully vibrant and energetic evening of art, performance, music and text welcomed over 200 people to the Star and Shadow Cinema, Ouseburn, for the exhibition Yellow Wallpaper. What could have been a sombre exhibition of the pains and negativity surrounding mental illness instead had a celebratory, upbeat atmosphere to it, which is usually hard to accomplish in an alienating, contemporary white gallery space.
The title ‘Yellow Wallpaper’ is taken from the 1892 short story by Charlotte Perkins Gilman that narrates the deterioration of a female character suffering from ‘temporary nervous depression’ with a ‘slight hysterical tendency’. Gilman herself suffered from a debilitating case of depression and was prescribed treatment; she highlights the failures of medical remedies of the period that in tandem enforced gender inequalities.
You can’t ignore the fact the majority of the 24 contributors to this exhibition were women. As an exploration of mental illness and its position within the context of women’s history, the literature was highly charged with personal experiences and responses to how mental illness is seen in a wider perspective. Although narrowing, it’s well known that the margin of women recognised in the art world is slight compared to their male equivalent; it’s wonderful to see peers alike and of our generation combatting this. Work by Jessica Heywood and Steven Hithersay were among my favourites. Heywood’s embroidered phrases on a fabric hanging and Hithersay’s collection of domestic photographs seemed the most accomplished; with an approach that was contemplative of real life living and investigative of constructed language. Over 20 photographers, writers and artists from around the country contributed either their personal experiences and/or thoughts on ideas of mental illness. Image: Holly Argent
Now, art is art. We all know that freedom of expression goes hand in hand with that, but there are considerations to be made about what one is perpetrating. If we look at Banksy’s recent mural that was scrubbed from a wall by the city council, we are aware that this piece was removed because Banksy had supposedly created a racist piece of artwork. However, the argument that Banksy was mocking the way groups within society behave towards immigrants, in a visual art form, soon broke through. There have been critics that have chosen to avoid the ‘feminist bandwagon’ around Jones’ work, as it is supposedly the ‘easy option’. Striving for equality and ‘calling out’ the violation of women within society doesn’t strike me as an easy option; the right thing to do is often the most challenging thing to do and supporting the misogyny that screens social constructs is a far easier option. After all, it’s unfortunately commonplace.
to see the need in turning women into household objects; it’s just perpetrating the stereotype that women belong in the house. If his work took an angle of exploiting the stereotype and dismantling the threads that hold said typing together, I may be a little bit more on board with his work. I am completely aware of the timeless quality that, for many, lies within the fetish market. It has strength of character and a dominance that has made a constant mark on cultural history. Fetish imagery has more often than not been married to the female form in all sorts of visual expressions, but using this leather epidemic to add to an exploitative creation is really not the way forward.
“I fail to see the need in turning women into household objects; it’s just perpetuating the stereotype that women belong in the house”
For anyone who isn’t familiar with Allen Jones’ work, it has a tendency to focus on the female form in both motion and solidarity. Some of his paintings are of a more tasteful nature and give the observer a sense of how women are strong and sexual beings. However, I feel that this tasteful element is often lost in his three dimensional portrayal of females. I fail
Death Of A Salesman: People’s Theatre
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fantastic show is brought to life at The People’s Theatre with Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman. Willy Loman is a man with little left to lose; a salesman for thirty four years, he has been left behind by a system which has no further need for him. As his sons fail to succeed and the ‘American Dream’ hangs uncomfortably over his head, Willy spirals into regret and yearns to relive the ‘good old days’. Death of a Salesman is dependent on the intricacies of its characters, which the cast ably perform. Michael Short plays an excellent Willy Loman, with an immersive and well rounded performance that perfectly communicates the emotional turmoil of the character.
“A strong and engaging revitalisation of a classic”
Kath Frazer’s performance of the desperate wife Linda is strong and convincing, as is Craig Fairbairn’s role of son Happy, but it is Jonny Lavelle’s performance of Biff, Willy’s eldest son, which is most noteworthy. Lavelle handles his complex character with ease, exploring the character in great depth, which makes him a pleasure to watch. Regrettably, the intermittent inclusion of music during emotional scenes somewhat undermined the cast’s performance. On the occasions where a character moves into a downstage spotlight and the music builds to a climax, it almost becomes Death of a Salesman: The Musical. Overall, Death of a Salesman at the People’s Theatre is a well directed and skilfully performed production. A strong and engaging revitalisation of a classic. Rebecca Harrison
If Jones wants to play with gender politics and appreciates the use of the female form, there may be the need to consider if what he is creating is actually what he is intending to put across- given that Jones describes himself as a feminist. Art shouldn’t need a supporting explanation - period.
NE1 7RU: Newcastle University Art Department
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E1 7RU, a show of quality not quantity, was situated in Newcastle University’s art department. The work was created by third years Lucien Anderson, Rochus Braun and Jon Cornbill. As I entered the gallery I was greeted by a rustic presentation of crusty bread, olives, sun dried tomatoes, generous hunks of parmesan cheese and a glass of red. Naturally, this kicked off the evening to a flying start. Before reaching the main piece of the exhibition there were objects laid along the length of the room which, according to Jon, weren’t pieces of art at all. The wooden structure created to hold the food had a small box on the side labelled ‘to be honest’, a rather artistic way to ask for donations. Further down there was an elevated, sealed
“I greatly admired their bravery to exhibit an unfinished piece”
box which was playing music, again adding to the creative furnishing of the room. Now to the central piece. A team effort from the three artists, the sculpture was presented low to the ground. Placed on a grey mat, mimicking the appearance of concrete, the wooden structure consisted of three clear parts. There were rectangular side-pieces and a taller rectangular centre. It was all made out of wood in varying colours. NE1 7RU is the beginning of a collaborative sculpture that is only to get much, much bigger. The piece contains a smaller piece by each of the artists; this process will be related many times until it reaches enormity. At this point, I greatly admired their bravery to exhibit an unfinished piece. Lucy Chenery
The Courier
arts.21
Monday 24 November 2014
Under the covers Autobahn (1973) Kraftwerk
Introspective (1988) Pet Shop Boys
thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierArts
Tom Nicholson shares his favourite album artwork The Return of the Durutti Column (1980) The Durutti Column
Pet Shop Boys have the most consistently fabulous record sleeves in all of pop, and they peaked with Introspective. The group themselves are all about doing more with less, visually at least: not dancing in videos, no live performances until four years after their first number one and a strict dictum of “don’t look triumphant” inform their whole aesthetic, and this cover sums that up neatly. It manages to make you look without appearing to do anything. The bold, rigid planes of colour conflict can be read as representing compartmentalised emotions and anxieties, but the fact that the seven stripes sit next to each other and make up one piece suggest that these separate thoughts and feelings can still make a vibrant whole.
As much as electro pioneers Kraftwerk were harbingers of a new musical age, they were also romantics in love with the idea of Old Europe. They’d later appear as ‘30s matinee idols on the cover of Trans Europe Express, but the dichotomy at the heart of the group is more subtly expressed on the cover of Autobahn; the Nazi-built transport infrastructure which had modernised Germany, rendered in a style which nods back to constructivism of the 1920s and ‘30s but also to 1960s Op Art. The elevation of a piece of industrial design to the status of art suggests a trust in technology to serve peace as well as war. The autobahn stretches upwards and away: it signifies a new, post-Nazi Germany, a new Europe, and a new, electronic future.
It may not look like much here, but once you know that that beige square is a 12” by 12” piece of sandpaper, it becomes rather more interesting. The idea is that if you were to slide this into the middle of your record collection, it would slowly destroy all of the LPs around it just through the action of taking it off the shelf and putting it back. Tony Wilson, the head of Factory records, was a big fan of Situationism, a movement which places a lot of importance in the idea of subversive spectacle. The sentiment behind this spectacle is bullish in the extreme: ‘This is the only album you’ll ever need, it’s so good that it degrades everything around it simply by existing, and eventually it will be the only one you own’. In other words, it’s punk as fuck.
The Importance Of Being Ernest
Boy Scout Poppies: The Laing
Bloodaxe Poetry: Campus
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et in the snug basement of Northern Stage, I was immediately surprised by the intimacy of the staging. A horseshoe of seats were placed around the stage, which added a more domestic feel while limiting the visibility for those seated at the sides (me). Most of the set involved minimal furniture, a couch and some Victorian decor, or a table and chairs for the second half.
“In the pursuit of achieving humour, chemistry and verisimilitude were sacrificed, even though it is often these very qualities that makes comedy effective”
Given the popularity of Wilde’s plays and the knowledge people have of the material, it takes a fair amount of energy, or a new approach, to lift performance from the doldrums of banality. The two male leads accurately inhabited the roles, with Algernon (Orr Yoeli Rimmer) displaying the right amount of nonchalance to fit Wilde’s caricature of the upper-middle classes. Given the indolent nature of the action in the first half, there was a slowness to the set up. The second half proved more engaging, with a charming, energetic performance from the actress playing Cecily. The butler characters were played with self-deprecating gusto which provoked hearty chuckles from the elderly audience. However, some of the main parts such as Lady Bracknell (Barbra Johnson) and Gwendelon (Geffen Yoeli-Rimmer) could have been more convincing. In the pursuit of achieving humour, chemistry and verisimilitude were sacrificed, even though it is often these very qualities that makes comedy effective. Jack Dempsey
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s part of the Tyne and Wear Archives and Museums’ ‘Wor Life’ programme to commemorate the centenary of the First World War, the Laing Art gallery invited schools, community groups and members of the public to decorate around 1300 felt poppies in an act of remembrance. The project began in July this year, and the result was a vibrant and impressive display that will hang in the museum’s entrance every November until 2018. The diverse range of people who made the poppies, from care homes to primary schools, shows just how many people participated in the war itself and how many people still continue to be involved in its remembrance. The community came together to create these poppies just as it came together in 1914 to support the war effort.
Each poppy was very different, impressing upon the viewer how each soldier that gave their life cannot just be reduced to numbers but were individual people that need to be remembered as such. The vibrancy of the exhibition contrasted to the somewhat more solemn poppy display down in London at Tower Bridge, and this seemed to be more of a celebration of life rather than death. Overall it was a unique and charming way to mark the 100 years since the war, in which so many people gave their lives and to whom we owe so much. Laura Barron
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ast Thursday, I had the absolute pleasure and privilege of going to listen to three preeminent poets recite and explain their poetry here on our campus. While the rain and wind slashed on the windows outside, Americans Thomas Lux and Ellen Doré Watson, and Brazilian Adélia Prado each took turns reading their internationally renowned work in a deeply intimate space. Lux, who currently holds the poetry chair at Georgia Tech and is a former Guggenheim Fellow, read nine works ranging from his lengthy career that started in 1970. His poetry, particularly his free verse, is reminiscent of James Wright in not only his discussion of nature in poems such as ‘Smoke Jumpers’ and ‘Bird whose wings are on fire’, but also in the dark humour of his voice.
“I found myself connecting to a middle-aged woman in ways I wouldn’t have thought possible”
Meanwhile, Watson makes it supremely easy to relate to her through her art. Even as a twentyone year old male, I found myself connecting to a middle-aged woman in ways I wouldn’t have previously thought possible, particularly in one of the first poems she read that evening, ‘What Gets Left Out of History Books?’, a poem asking what happens to the many unknown people history forgets. However, the absolute highlight was Prado, who was also the final reader of the night. Even from translation (beautifully done by Ellen Watson), her voice and her aptitude to question family and religion in a country and time that placed so much importance on these facets of life shows a courage many current poets lack. For those of you who think contemporary poets have nothing or little to offer, look no further than those published by Bloodaxe Books. Jack Williams
Accessible arts: Body art
Jennifer Hopps explores the revolutionary culture of body art
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o, not that tattoo you got in Ibiza that you show people when you’re drunk: proper body art. Pretty much every girl at university has experienced a guy offering to show her his ‘artwork’ and rolling up his sleeves before she can say no. I don’t know what other girls think, but being shown the standard roses, crosses, stars and skulls that adorn their forearm has never been much of a turn on personally and as it’s not a reflection of their creativity or artistic skill, I don’t really know why they all seem to be so proud of it.
“Body art became popular in the 60s. Women painted the tops of their bodies, using nudity as a visual protest against their oppression”
Body art – now that is something to be impressed by. Body art became popular in the 60s during the ‘Flower Power’ era; women painted the tops of their bodies instead of wearing tops, using nudity as a visual protest against their oppression in society.
Body painting is often used in conjunction with a political protest; it’s fair to say it makes a powerful visual impression. Body painting became a trait of pop culture particularly in the late 80s and early 90s; in August 1992, the cover of Vanity Fair was entitled ‘Demi’s Birthday Suit’ and showed a photograph of Demi Moore wearing only paint. This was slightly regressive on the political front however, as this shoot was done to show off the results of Demi’s fitness regime. The body art I really love though is fine art body painting and it just so happens that Emma Fay, an English make-up artist who rose to fame last year, has just released a new body of work. The piece that first got her noticed was her ‘contortionist spider’: she used a contortionist model and painted her so fully that she appeared to look like an enormous spider. Terrifying? Yes, but also incredible. Her new portfolio of work is an expansion on this idea. She has used contortionists as her canvas to create different animals, landscapes and objects. It’s stunning and definitely worth a look – you can find it here: http://www. t el e g ra p h . c o. u k / news/picturegalleries/howaboutthat. ies/howaboutthat
22.filmfeatures features
Monday 24 November 2014
The Courier
Film Editors: Rosie Rosie Bellini & David Leighton Online Editor: Lucas Lucas Fothergill
Pleasure Island
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Waterworld
may be the only person who likes Waterworld. When I told friends I would be defending the $172 million budget, post-apocalyptic, urine-drinking, Kevin Costner-starring extravaganza, most responded with a look that was piteous, but also mocking. As if I said I was going to spend Christmas dressed as Pikachu, or had just bought an Xbox One. Look: I’m not going to argue Waterworld is the best film ever. Okay? It’s not. It’s not even the best film of 1995; it’s somewhere below Se7en, but above Braveheart. This may seem like damning with faint praise, but I’m trying to temper your expectations. Because – and I say this really liking Waterworld – it’s kind of a mess. Like most bigbudget blockbusters that are overly ambitious, it is a strange mixture of serious drama, gorgeous visuals, excessive action scenes, and occasional humour. It is Kevin Costner’s The Phantom Menace. And like The Phantom Menace, it has a reputation worse than the actual film. Waterworld was savaged by critics, who – like sharks – can sense blood in the water. While most agreed the visuals were fantastic, it was panned for having a crap story, while also lacking the necessary pace of the action film it occasionally tries to be. I think they’re half right. The story’s pretty bad; needlessly disjointed from too much editing, too many last minute additions. It is a film where the atmosphere is the real story, instead of the plot itself. But I think there’s a unique style to Waterworld; from its gorgeous ocean environments, to its desolate setting, to Dennis Hopper’s lunatic acting as the film’s villain. And this is what makes Waterworld for me; it’s one of those films that is just different, even when its different elements don’t mix with the film as a whole. I do think they nailed the setting, though. It’s incredibly bleak in its portrayal of a post-apocalyptic world; you feel a little dirty just watching it. There’s a real sense that – excuse my language – that everything is fucked. We ruined earth, and earth ruined us. The times the film lingers on that concept is what gives Waterworld its bite; when it is less Mad Max and more Sad Max. And if that doesn’t appeal, see it for the ludicrously expensive action set-pieces, involving everything from jet skis to aeronauts. See it for the dialogue that is occasionally beyond parody; where else will you hear the term gentleman guppy? See it for it for being a film featuring climate change before we began talking about climate change. Waterworld is a strange and unusual attempt at a blockbuster; that’s why some people hate it, but that’s also why I like it.
Louis Francis
Matt Damon! Bourne again News hit the web that Matt Damon will return to the Bourne series. What does Sophie Baines think: think: Yay? Nay? Should Damon stay? tay?
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o the news broke that Matt Damon is making a return to the Bourne series. How they’re going to manufacture yet another Bourne storyline is beyond me, but that is by the by. The real question here is: how on earth did they manage to re-hook Matt Damon? In 2007 the release of The Bourne Ultimatum, the last appearance of Jason Bourne, heralded supposedly the last appearance of Matt Damon in the series. As such, many fans presumed this would be the last film. However, in 2012, out came The Bourne Legacy, starring Jeremy Renner as Aaron Cross. Bourne was mentioned several times throughout the film, in a (terribly pathetic) attempt to remind people this was indeed a Bourne film and not a random action movie. In my rather humble action opinion, I thought Renner was great. It wasn’t a Bourne film, but it was a relatively good action film (in comparison to the horrific The Expendables 2, which came out the same year). But now it seems Bourne will return, which would make you think that Renner was once again out of job. Not so! What actually seems to be the plan, judging by the general rumour mill, is that the Bourne universe is expanding. We are to continue receiving both Jason Bourne and Aaron Cross stories, with an attempt to bring them together at some point in the future. So for the second time, Renner is being picked up as a character in a larger universe, a la the MCU. And we get Bourne back. So everyone wins. Except maybe we kind of don’t. The next Bourne film (the one with Bourne in it), is due to be released on July 15th 2016, with the next Aaron Cross film not scheduled until 2018. So we may be re-receiving the beautiful Bourne, but the release schedule is not speeding up. It will take nearly double the time for each counterpart to receive a new story. So while it may seem like a win for Renner and Damon fans alike, we are actually both losing
out. And here’s another question for you: does anyone really want another Bourne film? I know I pretty much wrote off the series when Damon left the first time, and literally the only reason I picked up Legacy was because Jeremy Renner was involved. I can’t imagine there’s anyone out there really clamouring for yet another Bourne film, especially considering that Ultimatum really did leave Bourne in a good place. It wrapped it up nicely, with very few plot holes, and that in itself is something action often fails to do. The Bourne Ultimatum left us after the release of Bourne’s real identity, the reveal of Treadstone and its role in Bourne’s life, and the exposure of Operation Blackbriar to the world. With Bourne shown swimming away (after a dumb-ass
“What actually seems to be the plan, judging by the general rumour mill, is that the Bourne universe is expanding. We are to continue receiving both Jason Bourne and Aaron Cross stories, with an attempt to bring them together at some point in the future”
jump into the East River that would definitely kill you in real life, if not from cold then definitely from bacteria). So where can they go with Bourne from here? Would they go back in time and show Bourne completing missions, would they put him in a new chronological danger? Or even just have Kramer, Vosen or Hirsch coming after him? Who knows. But what I do know: I don’t care either way. I’ll probably give it a watch, just to see what cliché they’ve thought up this time. But I doubt I’ll be much drawn in. I’ll be waiting for Renner.
The geezer who plays Caesar With The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies coming to cinemas soon, Simon Ramshaw talks Serkis, from Gollum to The Jungle Book and the surprising lack of Oscars in-between
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any of us of a certain age may find it difficult to believe that Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy finished 11 years ago. Since then, not a single blockbuster has been able to surpass its majestic scale and emotional heft. It’s a bar that might never be raised, let alone reached. However, its main frontier is one that is consistently being matched by many works today. This frontier is the trilogy’s unexpected trumpcard: Andy Serkis. An actor jobbing it with bitparts in TV in the late 1990s, he was launched into super-stardom with his game-changing motion-capture performance as everyone’s favourite fantasy schizophrenic, Sméagol/Gollum. A pioneer of visual effects and a new masterclass of acting, Serkis donned a spotty lycra suit and acted through months and layers of animation. The rest is cinematic history. Nowadays, Serkis has land-
ed two unnamed (possibly non-animated) roles in the upcoming Star Wars Episode VII and The Avengers: Age of Ultron, making it very clear that the 50 year-old Brit isn’t going to slow down any time soon. But there are also golden nuggets found in his now-extensive back-catalogue. Being best mates with Peter Jackson helps an awful lot when you need to do wondrous things for your career. And Jackson gave him that chance in all three Lord of the Rings films (and one of the Hobbitss too), and his work is a masterwork of physicality, vocals and pure venom. Gollum is effectively the figure-head of the franchise and the flagship of modern special effects, so it’s no wonder that everyone has been hot for Serkis ever since. Jackson kept him close at hand with his remake of King Kong, Kong, playing a supporting comedy character and the 8th Wonder of the World himself. Serkis’ versatility was proven in three swift roles and as many years. A mighty ape was a character he played yet again in what might be his most impressive performance(s); his work as ape revolutionary Caesar in both the Rise and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is the type of meaty role that would earn a non-motion-capture actor an Oscar nomination. Both are impressive films, compiled of thrilling elements, but Serkis’ nuanced performance is undoubtedly the highlight of the two. Yet his talents don’t end there. His live-action career is less exciting, but still shows excellency in film acting. Taking to the stage as Ian Dury in the movie adaptation of the
Blockheads’ frontman in Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll, his big leading performance was nominated for a BAFTA, while his comedic work on gravedigging farce Burke and Hare is a decent doubleact with Simon Pegg. Now he is spreading his wings towards directing, taking on one of the two new Jungle Book films and garnering experience as a Second Unit Director on all three Hobbit films. Is there no limit to his rise? Yet we have to remember that without motion-capture, there would be no Andy Serkis. And without Andy Serkis, motion-capture would not be as big as it is today. And it still should be bigger. The petition for a Best Motion-Capture performance starts here…
The Courier
reviewsfilm.23
Monday 24 November 2014
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“You can’t win a marathon without band aids on your nipples” - Horrible Bosses (2011)
Interstellar (12A)
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alactic travel collides with family relationships in this apocalyptic adventure from director of mind-blowing epics, Christopher Nolan. In the near future a blight infects the staple crops on which we survive and great dust storms choke the people of earth. With all other enterprises apart from farming called to halt, Cooper (Matthew McConaughey) has set aside his skills as a pilot and wizard engineer to provide for his two children by the sweat of his brow in the fields. When he stumbles across the now-underground organisation of NASA and a plot to find habitable planets through a rift in our solar system, he must say goodbye to his children and pilot the Endurance to save humanity. McConaughey is very much riding the high of his rebirth as a serious, cerebral actor. Gone are the days when he could crack a smile, now he must look wistfully into the distance and reveal what a tortured soul he really is. And it must be said, he is really perfect in this role because of that. Either caked in dust or clad in a space suit, he makes himself heard. For the millions of fans on the McConaissance band wagon, this really is a film for you. If ever there were an actor who knows how to well up, its McConaughey. In fact, most of the cast is very strong with the exception of a few minor characters. This is the first time that I had seen Jessica Chastain act; she plays Cooper’s daughter Murph,
after he’s gone to a planet where time dilates causing her to age thirty years (surprisingly, not a spoiler). She was also wonderful, and for the hour or so that she is actually in the film, does some real competing for McConaughey for the limelight. The movie hinges on this relationship and so with both doing such excellent work to grab at your sympathy, it really becomes a heart-wrenching family drama with space in the middle. With a budget of $165 million that’s much less than The Dark Knight Rises, the special effects are really quite impressive. There is nothing that is too big for Nolan’s team to handle, whether it be dust storms across American corn fields or gargantuan tsunamis over water worlds, the movie doesn’t shy away. In the scheme of Christopher Nolan’s twistyturny audience confusing movies, this is the most convoluted. Where Inception could be forgiven its complexity because it was entirely make-believe, Interstellar is a movie about space and physics and
so doesn’t have that luxury. I can’t really say too much about the last forty-five minutes of the film (because, you know, spoilers) but I can say that my eyebrow was very much raised throughout. It got so convoluted that I’m entirely certain that its head made contact with the inside of its own anus. By the point that things start to get complicated, you’ve been watching for two hours waiting to be struck by a Nolan sting of confusion and your concentration has worn quite thin. Though it could have done with being a slight bit shorter, this movie really does tick all the boxes for movie lovers. A fantastic cast and spectacular special effects make this a powerful, memorable Science Fiction adventure that has earned a place among the great movies of that genre.
Ouija (15)
Leviathan (15)
Re-View Bulletproof Monk (12)
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ung fu monks, Nazis, Steve Stifler: to my preadolescent self, Bulletproof Monk offered a plethora of cool. I would sit there, engrossed in the story of a simple, wisecracking American swept up in the burdensome role of being The One. Obviously, before Stifler (Seann William Scott) can save the world from destruction via mystic scroll, he must first learn discipline via the tutelage of a nameless monk. A solid plot if I ever did hear one, and nothing my uncultivated boyish imagination couldn’t get behind. After seeing maybe two other, vastly better films, I realised Bulletproof Monk has far more holes than its cocksure title might imply. The first: why create a complex antagonist when you can just use an über Nazi? Everyone knows that Nazis caused everything bad that’s ever happened, and if there was a mystic scroll that gave you superpowers and transformed you into a handsome Hollywood actor, let’s be honest, the Nazis would probably be all over it. Another example of sensationalism in this bottom-of-the-barrel Western martial arts film is its use of a white guy who, for all his lack of knowledge, just so happens to be better than all the Asian folk at their native skillset. And who better to play the modern ignoramus than Steve Stifler? I should clarify here that Seann William Scott’s is playing a character called Kar, not Stifler. But he so totally is playing Steve Stifler. When the Asian folk inevitably prove their inept and treacherous nature, Stifler is the only decent white man left to save the talented yet unfortunately cast Yun-Fat Chow and restore order to the universe by twatting the Hollywood Nazi and nabbing his scroll. Perhaps this movie is the reason I no longer like martial arts films. Perhaps this movie is the reason for my unhappy childhood. I’m not sure. All I know is, when the world needs saving, don’t go to the fully trained team of devoted kung fu monks, go to your local, lazy, morally vacant White Man. More like this: Rush Hour (1998) Jack Dempsey
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hile watching Ouija my mind wondered a lot more than it should have, in what was a dull horror film and a blatant attempt at a gash grab for the Halloween market. I will give credit where it is due; the original concept intrigued me. We have never seen a horror film based upon an Ouija board before, which I thought might make it more relatable than a standard house possession film, as it is something that many horror fans have tried before. Sadly, this is where the audience can no longer relate to the film as Ouija sees a group of friends gathering over the death of a close friend after she mysteriously commits suicide after discovering an Ouija board from her past. Sadly the Ouija board is the only original element in this film. The characters are extremely generic and seem like they have been cut out of a book on “how to make clichéd horror films”. There was no character development, which stopped the audience from getting attached to them and being invested in the events of the film. The plot was incredibly simple and predictable with no real surprises, making for lazy writing. As for the Horror element - or should I say lack thereof - instead of intelligently building up suspense, this film just regurgitates jump-scare after jump-scare which showed the lack of any creativity or justification. Recently we had The Babadook, which was a refreshing take on this stale genre since it plays with the audiences mind and lets them create the scares themselves, treating the audience in an intelligent manner. Ouija could seriously learn from this as the greatest way to scare an audience is about what they don’t see rather than shoving a scary face at them suddenly. If you are a horror fan don’t go see this film, as what could have had potential just become a generic cash grab at a guaranteed moneymaker, the horror audience. More like this: Annabelle (2014) Joshua Morris
More like this: 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) George Smith
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cience fiction, to put it bluntly, is the shit. Whole universes of incredible technology, larger-than-life wars and battles, awe-inspiring vistas and planetscapes – the entirety of human imagination unfolded in visions both romantic and nihilistic, both bleak and beautiful. But what makes them tick? I’ll be looking at the top five tropes that define a quality sci-fi, so buckle up for the jump to lightspeed.
1
Travel to impossible places
2
Crazy technology
3
Apocalyptic scale
4
Unequivocal heroism
5
Travel to Impossible Places
The furthest reaches of space, the inner machinations of the human mind and even the physical representations of cyberspace. All these things have one thing in common: as of the 20th and 21st centuries, we can’t reach them. But in sci-fi we can. Star Wars, Inception, Neuromancer and countless others take viewers to the depths of space, sprawling dreamscapes, or virtual realities and explore the kinds of things we might find there, taking us on awesome adventures into the unknown.
Every child ever has wanted a lightsabre. I’m not even going to apologise for that blanket statement, because if you’ve never wanted a god-damn sword made out of light then I can’t imagine you’ll be reading this. Laser rifles, virtual realities, awesome robots, warp drives and 50 kilometre-long spaceships - we want it, and sci-fi’s got it. Need I say more?
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ober and compelling, Leviathan tells a story of corruption and intimidation in modern day Russia. et in a desolate town what appears as a story of an everyday man taking on the government soon escalates into a drama that is terrible and all consuming. It begins with a simple car mechanic Koila, who has a beautiful second wife, teenage son and handsome property - a fortune that is ultimately his misfortune. The land he owns becomes the want of corrupt mayor Vadim for his own luxury dacha and dumps a compulsory purchase order on Kolia. In a desperate attempt to regain what it rightfully his, Koila calls on the help of old army buddy Dimitri who promises to overthrow Vadims decree. However, his motives for helping aren’t what they first appear. The way in which Leviathan is filmed mirrors beautifully the vulnerability Koila and the class he represents. He is at the mercy of uncontrollable events that happen behind his back and as many of these key scenes happen off-screen this adds to the imposing feeling of losing control. Events move slowly, without giving too much information go at once which makes key events even more dramatic. Leviathan depicts a world where money and power are what counts and where common human decency is left by the road side. It is a world that is governed by drunken, power hungry, aggressive men: power-hungry lawyers, corrupt government officials and arrogant priests. The church is poisoned by greed, governed by priests blinded by their own importance: ‘All power comes from God. As long as it suits him, fear not.’ This idea that power is always on your side if you have the wealth to fund it is a theme that dominates contemporary Russian culture, and is an imposing theme that Zvyagintsev is not afraid to tackle. As a result Leviathan is a masterpiece of its time that makes a real impact. More like this: Winters Sleep (2014) Sarah Holland
Whether it’s post-, pre- or somewhere in between, a popular plot in science fiction is the end of the world. Fallout brings us the irradiated post-apocalyptic wasteland of Earth as imagined by the paranoid ‘50s of America whilst Guardians of the Galaxy sees a ragtag group of unlikely heroes... well, guard the galaxy. From the big universe-killers to the mere genocide of the human race, apocalypses are a popular device for adding the sense of significance and grandeur that other genres simply can’t attain
When it comes to saving the day, noone does it like a sci-fi protagonist. You’ve got your John McClanes and James Bonds, and sure, they’re pretty cool. But they don’t escape the exploding station with seconds to spare, clobber the Alien Queen, grow themselves into a shield to save their friends, or beat impossible odds to save the galaxy from being consumed by cyborg prawn ships. Scifi protagonists do. And what does that make them? Big damn heroes.
Do the aliens of Mass Effect ever seem a little close to home? The hubris of the Quarians, the stubbornness of the Krogans, the callousness of the Salarians? As alien as they are, all of these are human traits blown up to grotesque proportions. But so too is their intelligence, their compassion, their brilliance. Being human is as much about dooming the human race to extinction for the sake of corporate greed as it is about vanquishing evil to save the innocent. Sci-fi, more than anything else, turns a mirror on humanity, and in this regard and so many others, it is truly unmatched. James McCoull
24.tvhighlights
Monday 24 November 2014
The Courier
TV Editors: Helen Daly and Ellie McLaren Online TV Editor: Rebecca Dooley
I can’t even In this week’s I Can’t Even, Sam Cross wages war on the Christmas ad epidemic sweeping the nation
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ast week saw the unveiling of the major supermarket giants’ Christmas adverts; John Lewis played the penguin card, Marks and Spencer recruited a few inappropriately attired fairies, Tesco switched a few lights on and offered to help us ‘every step of the way’ by letting us shop with them, and Sainsbury’s, well, they may have taken it a bit too far. Every year the big players jostle for top spot in the run up to Christmas and it’s no secret that big advertising is big money, but the question this year is for whom? All these adverts are purported to have cost and generated millions (Tesco might need to double check) but Sainsbury’s ad is accused of having sparked controversy by recreating the December 1914 Christmas truce.
“Why don’t we just stop the costly rivalry and donate the exorbitant sums to the causes that matter?”
The advert, which is more like a movie trailer, was produced in association with their long-standing partner, The Royal British Legion, and is supposed to simultaneously function as a poignant reminder of the events of the First World War and also a competing Christmas advert which embellishes the image of Sainsbury’s and promotes sales. The advert certainly is poignant and hugely emotive but the latter purpose has left many feeling a bit uneasy. It is not until the very end that the lurid orange name appears over the subtle scene and viewers become aware that the advert, which is no doubt a masterpiece in filming, is in fact the latest of Sainsbury’s submissions in a long running competition - and this one commercialises the Great War. Is it right to use the harrowing events of WWI to sell a few mince pies, or a bit of chocolate for that matter? Well, no, many believe it’s not. The effort has been branded ‘exploitative’ and even ‘wicked’ by figures such as a Leeds priest who also went on to describe the campaign as a “trivialisation of a tragic and moving event”. The company have introduced a chocolate bar
“The corporate holiday is now about lining the pockets of the big boys”
identical to that which is featured and which is being sold solely for the purpose of raising additional funds for The Royal British Legion - or is it? The bars retail at £1 each and 50p, which is the entirety of the profit and a donation from Sainsbury’s, is paid to the cause. But isn’t this all just good publicity? Anybody will know that the production of the Christmas ad is not cheap; in fact it’s serious money, so why don’t we just stop the costly rivalry and donate the exorbitant sums to the causes that matter? Can we stop reducing the pure expense of Christmas for people who are struggling to live up to the glittering television depictions, forced to believe they’ve failed if they can’t? Sainsbury’s could clearly have aided the Royal British Legion, made the film even, without so explicitly furthering their own agenda. If it is about community, conviviality and compassion, then it’s time to stop looking after number one – looking after being number one. It seems to me that Sainsbury’s don’t really believe that ‘Christmas is for sharing’; far from it, the corporate holiday is about profit, about lining the pockets of the big boys and all under the guise of good will. Isn’t it about time we called a truce on this competitive Christmas exploitation?
24 Hours in A&E ike many people, I’m a sucker for a good medical drama. House, Grey’s Anatomy: you name it, it’s probably been subject to one of my TV binges. But nothing quite grabs my attention, or pulls on the heartstrings, like a real-life medical documentary. Returning for a seventh series, 24 Hours in A&E gives viewers a glimpse into an average day in the emergency department of a busy London hospital. Filmed in true Channel 4 style, this fly-on-the-wall documentary follows patients from admittance to discharge and everything in between. And of course, the fantastic work of all the doctors, nurses, paramedics and staff who are with them every step of the way. Yet this series closes the curtains
on the familiar scenes of King’s College hospital and moves south to the emergency department of London’s St George’s hospital. We may have a fresh staff team, but this series is as fast-paced as ever. The pre-warning of ‘graphic scenes of injury’ is not to be taken lightly; I’ve watched about half of this series through my fingers in a ‘I can’t look but I can’t not look’ manner. But in all seriousness, the severity of some injuries are truly terrifying. For instance, 53-year-old biology teacher Dave, who collided with a stationary car whilst cycling home. He was rushed into A&E with a hefty chunk of his face missing and a paramedic carrying a ‘salvageable’ sample of his nose and lip on ice. It made a rather gruesome picture but thanks to the valiant efforts of the medical team, he left hospital with nothing but a few facial scars. These distressing scenes are cleverly juxtaposed with interviews from the patients and their families, painting a vivid picture of their lives and forcing the viewer to emotionally invest. Moments of
The Legacy
Posh People: Inside Tatler
ollowing in the footsteps of esteemed Danish dramas such as Wallander and The Killing, The Legacy promises to become another Scandinavian drama hit with British audiences. The Legacy, or Arvingerne - to give it its Danish name - focuses upon wealthy artist Veronika Grønnegaard and her death from cancer. However, it is what happens with her country estate and her legacy that drives the show. The house is left to her daughter, Signe Larsen, who was adopted from her at an early age, and what was supposed to be a simple execution of a will turns into something that affects Signe deeply. It also affect’s Grønnegaard’s other three children, who have all been affected by their upbringing at the Grønnegaard Manor by their unconventional mother. As the will is executed, secrets emerge and we see their lives being changed dramatically, as well as their views and ideas on one another. The producers of the show describe it as a cross between Downton Abbey and American film The Ice Storm, about a dysfunctional family. Sounds intriguing. The show has high expectations to live up to, with audiences worldwide expecting another Danish smash hit. Hopefully, under the direction of acclaimed actor and director Pernilla August, Maya Ilsøe’s story will come to live and enthral audiences everywhere. Before the show had even aired in Denmark, it had been sold to overseas broadcasters, including here in the UK. If anything is a sign of how hotly anticipated a show is, this is it.
BC2’s new documentary capitalises on our growing obsession with how the other half live as it provides us with an exclusive preview inside one of the most prestigious magazines (and social circles) in the country. Posh People: Inside Tatler documents the dayto-day business of Tatler’s staff, and when I say day-to-day business, I mean some seriously weird business: a hell of a lot of fancy dress and strange discussions about the ‘etiquette’ of threesomes. Tatler is renowned as a purveyor of social gossip, but surprisingly, the staff who work there aren’t partying 24/7; it’s not just a printed version of Made In Chelsea, as I first thought. In fact, the social elite that Tatler write about make Spenny and co look like common muck. It’s not all stereotypical rahs and Oxbridge graduates though, thank God. The show shies away from the 1970s version of themselves, in which red-faced fat men in tweed were very much the in-thing, and instead presents us with Britain’s poshest lesbians. There’s also a lot of animal loving in this series. No, not in that way you dirty buggars. The staff at Tatler are pet obsessed. Dogs are literally walking the catwalk at Tatler HQ, hounding the staff for love and lunch-leftovers. For such an eccentric and fascinating show, Posh People: Inside Tatler seems a pretty shoddy effort of a title. It breaks my heart to hear that some of the staff at Tatler suggested ‘The Devil Wears Barbour’ and it was rejected/ignored by the filming crew. It epitomises literally everything you need to know about this show into four words. And that’s why I’ll be tuning in. Ellie McLaren
Channel 4, Thursday, 9pm
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Sky Arts, Wednesday, 9pm
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Jack Parker
sadness are contrasted with moments of comedymy personal favourite being the porter who sings to patients. But of course there is a more serious side to all this. For some, the 24-hour snippet shown marks a life-changing incident, one which will impact them for years to come. As a fully-qualified medical drama addict, I often like to think my medical knowledge is up there with the best of them (‘It’s obviously a subarachnoid haemorrhage!’) but from watching the variety and sheer number of cases that come through the doors of the emergency department, I see that I am sadly mistaken. I have nothing but the upmost respect for the people who work day-in day-out to save the lives of others. Like the famous Heathrow Airport scene in Love Actually, there’s something so heart-warming and life-affirming watching friends and families embrace their loved ones that has me reaching for the tissues at least once per episode. Emily Jeffrey
Psychobitches
Sky Arts, Tuesday, 8pm
BBC2, Monday, 9pm
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sychobitches returns to Sky Arts this month, reminding us that history does have an amusing side. Co-written by The League of Gentleman writer, Jeremy Dyson, the writing and acting credits hint at how funny the show is, before you have even begun watching a twenty-minute episode. The first series featured an array of hilarious depictions of historical figures in psychotherapy, including a tantrum-throwing Joan of Arc (Katy Brand) and a sexually frustrated Jane Austen (Sharon Horgan). Rebecca Front (The Thick of It) leads the cast as a therapist and describes the show as “psychotherapy for dead women from history”. The highlight of the first series would, without a doubt, be comedy legend Catherine Tate’s portrayal of Hitler’s missus, Evan Braun. This sketch centred on Braun during the early years of the relationship, and was hilariously satirical and slightly awkward simultaneously. She compliments Hitler saying he “loves his job” and claims she told herself, “you’ve really got yourself a good’un here”. There’s something uncomfortable about satirizing Hitler, but it’s refreshingly funny at the same time. So what can we expect for Series Two? A number of new ‘psychobitches’, including Margaret Thatcher, who will no doubt make hilarious viewing,will star. The cast also features male comedians such as Jack Whitehall, which makes the depictions even more entertaining. The show makes an interesting watch, even if you aren’t a fan of history – I mean come on, the name alone is more enticing than most TV show titles nowadays anyway. Joel Leaver
The Courier
featurestv.25
Monday 24 November 2014
A nation snobsessed
thecourieronline.co.uk/tv c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_tv
TV Rewind Jack Parker takes a look at some of the best bad TV from bygone eras
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hen Mark Francis Vandelli and his overly coiffed hair graces our screens, making another disparaging comment about the dregs of society, you know that this week’s episode of Made In Chelsea has begun. And we love it. Throwing out pearls of wisdom about how you should “never talk about the opera around those who don’t frequent it” and that “no one you want at a party is going to turn up to a themed party, unless it’s at Versailles” are just a standard conversations one has in the life of a millionaire. If Mark isn’t providing us with enough entertainment, we can always rely on some good old fashioned bitching with Louise and Rosie, or watch as Jamie plans a boys’ night where they all get trollied and bond over their mutual exes. Then we look on as they attend polo in their Gucci loafers and Armani jackets and listen to them gossip about how their most recent social encounter was “so awkward”. So why are we so obsessed with poshos, like those that live on the King’s Road? What is it about their lives that we can’t get enough of? It’s probably something about the way that they don’t seem to do anything all day that makes their lives look so appealing. They just go for a wander,
occasionally bumping into each other around Chelsea on their way to brunch or a cocktail bar. Who wouldn’t want that life?! Even the ones who are seen in an office have the coolest jobs – Jamie basically owns a sweet shop (and the McVities empire) and Proudlock gets to design and model tshirts for a living. Then we look to the dear Lords and Ladies in Downton Abbey.. Lady Mary Crawley is often faced with the painstaking decision of which set of pearls to ask her maid, Anna, to fetch when dressing for the evening’s dinner. There’s also never a lack of a few dapper gentlemen roaming around in black tie, undoubtedly looking for a wife. And don’t forget Lady Grantham, Downton’s answer to Mark Francis; with her quick wit and sharp tongue, we can rely on her to put the rest of the nobility in their place. Everyone in my flat loves a bit of Made In Chelsea gossip and my mum will most likely have to call me back if I dare ring her and interrupt the latest episode of Downton. We’re hooked on
these shows because they don’t have our mundane student problems to worry about. You wouldn’t catch the Earl of Grantham wondering if he had enough clean undies for the week and I can’t imagine Binks has ever desperately rummaged for actual pennies down the side of her bed. With these lot on our screens, the daily struggles of our student lives are made that little bit easier. Just don’t take offence if I don’t come to your fancy dress party, it’s only what Mark Francis would do. Lucy Snowden
CSI wish you were here TV Editor Rebecca Dooley investigates CSI to see which version comes out top CSI: Las Vegas
Ahh the origin of our shows, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. It has graced our screens for over 14 years and it’s still going strong. The show’s premise involves following a team of Las Vegas forensic investigators who solve grizzly crimes by examining the hard evidence in order to solve the crime and discover whodunnit. Since the pilot show only Nick Stokes and Sara Sidle have survived and Sidle’s place in the cast was dubious for a while, until rumours sparked a full-scale campaign by fans to keep her in the show - CBS are probably too scared of the backlash to give her the boot now. And personally I think it all went downhill as soon as protagonist and bug specialist Grissom left in season nine. But still clearly the public love the graphic nature of this show with it still boasting a prime time slot after 15 seasons.
CSI: Miami In 2002 CSI: Miami, the first spin-off show from CSI: Crime Investigation was launched, and like its predecessor it survived a pretty long time. But what’s so different about this show I hear you cry? The marginal difference in this show is that there is more focus on the police officers, the investigators are cops first and foremost and crime technicians second. And whilst it has been condoned for portraying a false sense of how crime is solved by police departments, because of course everything on TV has to be realistic, it’s the characters that make this spin-off show. Our protagonist and team leader is Horatio, who never misses out on an opportunity to toss his ginger mane around and swipe the sunglasses off his face whilst saying some one-liner down the camera shot. He’s partnered with Detective Calleigh Duquesne, a ballistics specialist and blonde southern belle with a stereotypical feisty attitude to match, and of course she just loves it when people underestimate her so she can prove she’s not just a pretty face.
CSI: New York Next up we have the second spin-off show CSI: New York, which hit screens from 2004 to 2013 for nine seasons. This time round as Head of NYPD Crime Lab we have tough guy Detective Mac Taylor, a former Major in the United States Marine Corps - and he’s stereotypically married to his work. To continue with the trend of expectation he’s teamed up with partner Detective Stella Bonasera, a strong half-Greek, half-Italian gal who grew up on in foster care so has the street knowledge to boot. Then on the flipside Detective Jo Danville who is superior and believes everyone is innocent until the evidence proves otherwise, despite the fact even we at home know it’s them. Though it has been criticised for the level of graphic violence, sexual explicitness and images in the show (it is America after all) nothing can stop this franchise from steamrolling TV.
CSI: Cyber Last up we have CSI: Cyber the third (and final?) spin-off show from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,, which was announced in February 2014 with plans for its onscreen airdate to be some time in 2015. The show will be headed by Special Agent Avery Ryan, who has been seen as a reoccurring figure in the various CSI shows up until now. The team works to solve crime cases in the murky abyss of the internet, beyond the usual 4% of the internet that most of the general population use. Ryan is a behavioural psychologist aka human lie detector and cyber psychologist and will work alongside her team of cyber investigators to investigate crimes such as cyber theft, hacking, as well as the usual CSI repertoire of murders etc.
ERRY, JERRY, JERRY, JERRY. Yes, in case you haven’t realised, this week I’m looking back over The Jerry Springer Show. Jerry Springer is alive and well on the other side of the pond, however, it hasn’t quite fared as well over here. It used to be shown on Sky Living, but as far as I can see, it seems to have just dropped off the schedules. So, let us take a moment to look back over why Jerry Springer was such a brilliantly addictive show and the hours and hours of entertainment it gave us. Even from the early days, this show was designed to shock, with shocking stories being told on air about the shocking stories that had happened off air. The audience was a key part of Jerry Springer, who were encouraged to antagonise and heckle the guests of the show, there were numerous occasions when audience members even brawled with the guests. That always made for fun viewing. Jerry himself was never a huge part of the show, surprising considering it bore his name; he only really made colourful and amusing interjections which often made light hearted jibes towards the guests. Of course though, at the end of each show, Jerry would deliver his monologue, always with a message for viewers to take away, as if he was single-handedly trying to educate the trailer trash and wrong ’uns of America.
“‘In the middle of battle with your husband’s bit on the side, your top can come off and you were in such a rush today that you forgot to put a bra on” Nudity was a big part of the show, sometimes accidentally. In the middle of battle with your husband’s bit on the side, your top can come off and you were in such a rush today that you forgot to put a bra on. It’s fine, don’t worry it happens. Joking aside, oddly enough it was the women who always used to fight until their clothes came off. Also rather randomly, the audience would be encouraged to expose themselves to camera in exchange for a set of ‘Jerry Beads’, a necklace that was always sought after. It is this randomness that made the show so appealing; you never knew what was going to be presented to you next. Some memorable topic dealt with by the show include ‘I’m happy I cut off my legs’ to ‘Transsexual takedown’. Everything was covered by Jerry, unlike his British copycat Jeremy Kyle, who seemingly only offers DNA and lie detector tests to the working classes of England. Whatever you thought of the show, that it was exploitative of its guests, something that Springer himself said was not what the show was supposed to do, or whether it was purely for entertainment, there is no denying that The Jerry Springer Show got people talking over issues that were for a long time seen as taboo in much of America, it challenged the views of audiences across the world, as well as opening the door to a million imitations. None of these imitations are a patch on Jerry Springer.. The man himself guided us through the upper echelons of trash TV, setting the standards for others to follow.
26.tvfeature
Monday 24 November 2014
The Courier
The Grovers return
Growing up in the North East in the 1990s meant one thing for most people;; Byker Grove would always be on the TV when you got home from school. TV Editor Helen Daly paid a visit to the 25th anniversary event at the Tyneside Cinema of the region’s most famous export to have a chat with the cast and crew
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f someone comes up to you and yells ‘ooh Byker Byker’ in your face, aside from running away from this crazy person, you’re probably more likely to yell ‘GROVE!’ back in their expectant mug. The immensely popular teenage drama had an extensive career, starting in 1989 and sadly coming to an end in 2006. For those who don’t know about the show (and if you’re one of those, what on earth did you do in your childhood?), it was centred on a group of Geordie teenagers who met at The Mitre for their youth club, aptly named, Byker Grove. The Tyneside Cinema held a special event to commemorate the 25th anniversary of the city’s beloved show with a panel-based event with exclusive clips from former cast and crew who couldn’t attend the event, hosted by the Royal Television Society. Panel guests included Matthew Robinson (Byker Grove’s first producer and director), Lyndyann Barrass (Spuggie), Andrew Hayden Smith (Ben) and Chelsea Halfpenny (Lucy) who I managed to catch-up with before the show began. Byker Grove has one of the most famous and successful alumnae of any show. Of course, ask anyone to recount their favourite memories of Byker Grove and nine times out of ten they will include the most famous duo to come out of Newcastle, let alone Byker Grove, the loveable Ant and Dec. The pair have attributed their success on many occasions to Byker Grove; not only did they learn their professionalism on
the show, but they met each other and became the lifelong friends they are today. Ant and Dec clearly respect the show that launched their careers so much that they bought the rights for Byker Grove and named their production company Mitre Television in homage to the youth club that contained so many memories for them. The show was an instant hit. Originally commissioned for only six episodes, the first producer and director, Matthew Robinson said that he ‘jumped at the offer’. From being offered the job, Matthew expressed that his first priority was sourcing good writers and gripping storylines which, for him, had to centre on teenage concerns. Anyone who knows Byker Grove knows that it didn’t shy away from controversial subject matters of the time; from drug addictions to coming out stories, Byker Grove was pioneering in the way that it approached these stories in a frank and honest way. For Matthew, the storylines were more ‘realistic’ than ‘controversial’. He believed that he was acting responsibly by including the storylines as these narratives were very much relevant for the teenage target audience, despite receiving some harsh letters from parents who thought otherwise. Matthew revealed that he kept some of the letters he received from viewers during his time on the show, and read an extract from a boy who had expressed his gratitude for seeing Noddy’s coming out story. Once he had the stories on board, the next thing for Matthew was finding the cast; he knew they all needed to be young, enthusiastic and talented. The cast were made up of a mixture of drama club and school children. Lyndyann Barrass who played the well-loved and flame-haired Spuggie had her drama teacher to thank for suggesting that she audi-
“Ask anyone to recount their favourite memories of Byker Grove and nine times out of ten they will include the most famous duo to come out of Newcastle, let alone Byker Grove, the loveable Ant and Dec”
tioned for Byker Grove when it came to her school looking for cast members. Much was the same for one of Byker Grove’s most famous exports; Anthony McPartlin (one half of Ant and Dec for anyone who has been living under a rock for the past twenty-odd years) also auditioned when the producers came to his school looking for cast members. Chelsea Halfpenny, known for her role as Lucy on the show and later playing Amy on Emmerdale, saw an advert in the Evening Chronicle and knew she had to audition. Having been a member of a local drama club, Chelsea claims that she “learnt stuff that couldn’t be taught” from Byker Grove and that it really gave her an insight into acting and henceforth ‘sparked the fire’ within her to pursue a career as an actress. Andrew Hayden Smith had a slightly different entry to the show; his sister worked as a runner, and when he visited the set, Matthew asked him to audition. Andrew said that his family still have the recording of him telling them he got the part. Like all of the cast and crew, Andrew is completely grateful for his time working on Byker Grove, claiming that it gave him a boost into the industry, which helped him score roles on Doctor
kept the show alive and strong. He expressed his sadness at having to let the cast go, but he felt that the cast needed to be consistent with the audience at home. Many viewers will have been the same age as Ant and Dec and so grew up with them and will always identify with them and other characters because of that. I asked the cast present at the event just why they thought that Byker Grove was so successful and almost all came out with the same answer: it was real and relatable. These weren’t drama school kids, the cast of Byker Grove were real teenagers, who grew up in the city that the show was set in. Chelsea said that one of the successes of the show was that it “didn’t hide away from anything” and that it “wasn’t trying to be anything that it wasn’t”. Matthew expressed his delight at the challenge of bringing a location that hadn’t really been filmed much to the forefront of people’s perceptions. The show didn’t just discover talent in the cast, but they discovered talented crew members, most of which are still working in television today. One notable name from the crew list is Si King, who would go on to become one part of the Hairy Bikers.
“Chris Jackson, the host for the evening, asked for a show of hands in the audience of people who were a part of the show, and I was among the minority who didn’t raise their hands”
Who and Russell T Davies’ new drama Cucumber which will air on Channel 4 next year. Matthew also discussed the effects that the show had on the cast, not just in terms of careers, but in terms of the mental effects that working on a highly popular television show could have on the youths who became stars almost overnight. He revealed that by series two, bags and bags of fan mail was delivered on a regular basis, but he would not let the cast have any of the letters. He wanted to keep them as down to earth as he possibly could; he wanted ‘to save their minds from being warped’ to which one audience member shouted ‘you did the right thing’. The celebrity aspect whilst still at school must have been daunting, but Andrew, Lyndyann and Chelsea all agreed that school was still a normal place for them; Lyndyann explained that when she got her report back, she only had a 30% attendance record, but still managed to achieve her GCSEs. Education was something that Matthew praised; he said that whenever the children weren’t filming, he made sure they were being tutored on set to try and keep their education as undisrupted as possible. The children didn’t just leave school when they turned 16, but they had to leave Byker Grove; Matthew had a strict 12-16 policy when he was producing the show as he felt that the constant turnover of characters was what
Not only did Byker Grove put these personalities and actors on the map, but it put the North East, and especially Newcastle, on the map. It was the first time that being from the North East really helped; Andrew said that his accent has helped him get jobs including his current role as the continuity announcer on ITV2 which he said he wouldn’t have got without his recognisable Geordie accent. Byker Grove was so good for the reputation of Newcastle that a Tumblr account was set up by a die-hard American fan, Bethany, who feels like she knows Newcastle well just from watching the show, despite never visiting the city. It’s sometimes hard to map the success of shows, but with a sell-out celebratory event at the Tyneside Cinema, fans across the pond in America and the show’s most famous alumni regularly boasting about how fantastic it is, like those immortal words spoken by Dec which he said will stick with them forever (‘HE CANNAT SEE MAN’), Byker Grove will stay with everyone who every worked on it or watched it. Chris Jackson, the host for the evening, asked for a show of hands in the audience of people who were a part of the show, and I was among the minority who didn’t raise their hands. It touched the lives of so many, that it is hard to present a case for a more important output from the region. So, all together now: ooh Byker Byker…
The Courier
culturefeature.27
Monday 24 November 2014
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First things first: are you down to partayy?
Nah you’re alright pal
Is the Pope a Catholic? (Yes.) Denim jacket and loud shirt/crop top and Levi shorts
Shirt & chinos/ nice dress and heels
You’re standing in front of your wardrobe; what’re you gonna wear?
Been hitting the gym for your big night out?
I’m here for the vibez and party, not the vag and/or peen
Gotta sculpt that hot bod Selfies: yay or nay?
Facckkk offfff
On the pull?
Yay!
It doesn’t hurt to keep an eye out
Nay Footwear of choice? Air Max
Having a cheeky sniff of something?
Maybs
Docs
Less than one and a half hours
What’re you drinking? What’s your dance move of choice? Enthusiastic but badly executed winding ‘n’ grinding
Shake ‘n’ Baker You’re a casual customer who’s not that bothered about getting all dolled up and checking out the talent on offer. All you want is to chuck on your denim jacket and head over to Shake at the Cut on a Wednesday, getting down and dirty with a bunch of mates to the dulcet tones of TLC and N*E*R*D.
Spirits
The rave wave H2O
Ill Behaviour Raver
You’re a well-polished scruffbag who’ll deck themselves out in vintage sweatshirts for a night out, but only if those vintage sweatshirts are pristine. Get to Ill Behaviour at Cosmic Ballroom on a Tuesday and dance yourself into a deep-house oblivion with the other 2-kool-4-u kids.
Nah, I’m high on life
How long do you spend getting ready for a night out?
What bar are you off to first?
Basement
Over one and a half hours
Revs
Flares Fiend
Diamond Strip Diva
You don’t take anything too seriously and looking cool is way down your list of priorities; you’re probably in NUTS. You’ll always end up in the disco hell/ heaven that is Flares, whether you were intending to or not. Come 2am you’ll be belting out S Club’s ‘Reach’ and trying to avoid the middle-aged lurkers.
You’re a high-maintenance guy or gal who won’t go out without turning the glamour levels up to 11. You’re a frequent visitor to the cramped environs and blaring chart hits that constitute the Diamond Strip, and if there aren’t at least 9 photos of you taken in the toilets uploaded to Facebook the next day it was a waste of time.
Netflix Ned
The idea of standing in a room full of strangers and having to shout to your mates over a playlist you have no control over is your idea of the seventh circle of Hell; why spend your night being elbowed by randos when you could be catching up with your favourite Netflix series while eating your body weight in pizza?
28.music
Monday 24 November 2014
The Courier
Music Editors: Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly and Chris Addison
Electronic Blanket This week Max Palmer-Geaves recommends dickhead-free drum ‘n’ bass, house darling Joy Orbi- son and “swirling eddies” from Elderbrook Dub Phizix & Strategy 27th November @ WHQ Both Dub Phizix and Strategy hail from Manchester and are sure to keep you moving all night. The latter of the two has been described as a major player in the UK hip-hop scene, receiving praise from the likes of Wu-Tang Clan for his efforts as a member of cult group Broke’n’£nglish whose album PreSeasonTraining can be downloaded from Bandcamp for free. There will be no doubt who is in charge when Strategy is on the mic. Dub Phizix will be behind the decks feeding your craving for heavy and dark drum and bass, a listen to any one of his mixes (especially the kmag guest mix) will show his aggressive bass driven style. If you’ve never experienced DnB before, you should. If that wasn’t enough Roska will also be playing, showcasing his love for interesting genre blending, sets which have an undeniable groove; to be fair, Roska could pull a crowd on his own but his addition makes for an exciting night. One thing’s for sure there are guaranteed to be very few dickheads and the energy in the room will be palpable as two of the North’s finest take you on a crippling journey and ruin your body. Listen to: Dub Phizix and Skeptical feat Strategy - ‘Marka’ Joy Orbison 28th November @ Cosmic Ballroom This is one of those nights that is guaranteed to be amazing. One of those nights that you still talk about a year later. There is always something special about seeing a big name play in a space as personal as Cosmic Ballroom. The last time I was at a similar night was when Dixon played a fourhour Innervisions set in the same venue and we still talk about it now. There is no denying that Joy Orbison is a big deal on the UK club scene, his partner in crime is none other than the revered Boddika, a pairing described by Resident Advisor as “distinct”. He first made waves with the underground success of his single ‘Hyph Mngo’ released on Hotflush Recordings, a song comprised of the rise and fall of six minutes of blisteringly unique house showcasing Orbison’s knack for precise, perfectionist production. It was voted Resident Advisor’s number one track in 2009. The Ballroom is sure to be shaken to pieces by storming tunes like ‘The Shrew Would Have Cautioned The Blow’ and when he drops ‘Big Room Tech House DJ Tool’ an army of wide-eyed youths are sure to start working themselves up into a physical groove. Not one to miss. Listen to: Joy Orbison – ‘Big Room Tech House DJ Tool’ You Need To Hear This: Elderbrook Elderbrook’s track ‘Could’ is just sublime. It’s rare that an artist really captures something new and approaches songwriting from an angle that makes you want to press repeat over and over. At present all the artist has to his name is a two track EP and a handful of remixes. Since his signing to Black Butter records, known for their wide variety of intelligent acts as well as the run of the mill popular dance stuff, the video for ‘Could’ has been released. A swirling eddy of painted colour captures the cool melody of the track and you can’t help but watch it over and over.
For more stuff like this and music to ease off those end of the weekend blues be sure to tune into Max’s show The Electronic Blanket on NSR, every Sunday, 8pm
Live: The Kooks at O2 Academy Ellie McLaren battled pre-pubescent girls for a glimpse of some cute indie boys
I
t’s a frosty November night, the potential of snow is becoming more and more likely with every minute, and yet the O2 Academy is inundated with prepubescent girls wearing nothing but strappy tops, denim shorts and winged eyeliner. As I join the queue, I feel far too old and overdressed, and yet, this shocking sight has become the norm at Academies across the country. “Why are these girls risking their health?” I hear you scream. An indie band had come to town, obviously. Despite the volume of schoolchildren present, I somehow managed to blag my way to the front of the stage just in time for the support act. Walking On Cars made the consistent elbowing and shoving from the girl behind me totally worth it. Hailing from Ireland, this indie-pop-rock group sure know how to work a room. And once you see past the niche headwear they sport on stage – including a beanie, a bowler, and a peak-cap – you can really start to enjoy yourself. During their set, the band admitted they’re only used to crowds of “ten to fifteen people”, which makes the energy they set loose on the O2’s stage even more special.
only forced to wait through half an hour of tedious sound checks before we were presented with the main attraction: The Kooks are making their way through a nationwide tour and confusing us all with a sound that was so different, you wouldn’t be ridiculed for thinking you had bought tickets for the wrong gig. Not that this was a bad thing, though. In fact, the new tracks – from newly released album Listen – offer a much more upbeat and fun version of The Kooks. Opening with fantastically psychedelic track ‘Around Town’, the first track from the new album, frontman Luke Pritchard was like a reincarnation of Mick Jagger, prancing about stage in a loose-fitting shirt, flashing the odd bit of chest hair, and giving come-tobed eyes to the crowd. If the success of a song was based on the amount of iPhones whacked out of bags to record it at a
gig, then ‘She Moves In Her Own Way’ wins hands down. Although most of the band’s energy and zeal was put into the new tracks, their old hits were the biggest crowdpleasers. And for a relatively short set – they were on stage for an hour, with an additional 20 minute encore – they packed in a hell of a lot nostalgia and mellow tunes. It’s hard to sing along to ‘Junk of the Heart’ without being transported back to the summer of 2011. The encore offered some surprises: yes, ‘Naïve’ was the closing song (obviously), but the opening of the encore was a beautiful piano solo from Luke with a single spotlight cast over him, which I don’t think anybody expected. This alone made the freezing-cold queuing, elbows-to-the-head, incessant screaming and selfie taking from the girls surrounding me, well worth it. The Kooks will always hold a special place in my heart.
Broke With Expensive Taste Azealia Banks
Content Nausea Parkay Quarts
Sonic Highways Foo Fighters
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“Luke Pritchard was like a reincarnation of Mick Jagger, prancing about stage in a loose-fitting shirt”
Although I wasn’t familiar with any of Walking On Cars’ songs, their obvious enjoyment on stage immediately put me and my fellow gig-goers at ease as we sang and clapped along as if we’d been listening to them for years. A personal highlight of their set was the title track to their new EP Hand in Hand. Lead vocalist Patrick Sheehy has an undeniably brilliant voice: little hints of the Irish twang seep through the gruff tones as he pulls on his guitar strings and our heart strings simultaneously. After this overwhelming rush of newness came the calm before the storm. Thankfully, we were
inally, nearly 3 years since it was initially announced, Broke with Expensive Taste has finally been released. After breaking free from the shackles of her record deal at Universal Music in July, Azealia hinted that her album could be released by the end of the year. She’s back to where she started – as an indie girl with a bright future. This hotly anticipated album does not disappoint, and for many hard-core fans the record has been well worth the wait. The casual listener will also appreciate this surprise of an album. The album does struggle to start, with ‘Idle Delilah’ and ‘Gimme a Chance’ proving to be a rather weak set of opening songs, but from there on in this is a solid album. Of course, Banks’ super smash hit ‘212’ has been lifted from her EP 1991 and given pole position on the album. Of course it had to be included, she’d be mad not to, and don’t you try to deny that you sing your heart out to it in the club. Other than that, stand out tracks include ‘Luxury’, a short but sweet number that combines singing with rap, demonstrating Banks’ vocal talents well. ‘Yung Repunxel’ is a masterpiece, I can’t even begin to describe how brilliant it is, it’s all over the shop, but it just works. The verses which have Azealia barking with the rage of a chief leading their tribe into battle, are infectious. Broke with Expensive Taste is a massively varied album, showing her eclectic taste and talents, with genres ranging from hip hop to deep house. Banks manages to bring them all together into one slick package, whilst demonstrating that she can spit lyrics better than any of the rest of the so-called rap artists around at the minute.
Jack Parker
arquet Courts’ Austin Brown and Andrew Savage locked themselves in a room with a four-track tape recorder and, two weeks later, revealed this scatty collection of songs, under the sobriquet Parkay Quarts. The DIY project by Brown and Savage snarls viciously at claustrophobic urban life, ravenous consumerism and incessant screen-staring culture, what Parkay Quarts diagnose as Content Nausea. The album is flaking with post-punk influence, namely the Daydream Nation sounds of Sonic Youth and pretty much everything Pavement have ever released. There are also saturnine poetics similar to Bauhaus’ Peter Murphy, such as the opening track ‘Everyday It Starts’ revealing the daily inset of anxiety and ‘Psycho Structures’ proclaiming “dreams falling over / fear taking over” before bursting in to a droning, distorted guitar solo as the outro. The short instrumental interludes are doused heavily in dreary synth lines comparable to what is typically heard in industrial rock; Nine Inch Nails, for example. The dense nuances of these interludes give impressions of listening to some ominous lo-fi fuzz that is contained in an empty oil drum. A surprise comes halfway through the album: a cover of Nancy Sinatra’s ‘These Boots Are Made For Walkin’ with a sexy sprinkling of a brass section heard behind Savage’s growls. This cover of the classic goes down an absolute treat. Savage and Brown can’t seem to stop producing music to feed our earholes, with this being their second release of 2014. There is no denying that their rapidly bloating discography is exceptional. Parkay Quarts/Parquet Courts don’t have Content Nausea but a pleasantly fulfilling appetite. Connor McDonnell
ith their eighth studio album, Sonic Highways, the ever-experimental Foo Fighters packed up their gear and set out across America, recording a new song in every city they stopped at. Their hope was that each novel location would filter into their playing, allowing them to trot down new musical avenues without losing their recognisable, gravelly punk-rock sound. I’m pleased to say, for the most part, this was a successful endeavour. It may be down to the wonderful guests that feature, but this is a far more musically ambitious album than the Foo Fighters have produced. In the past, they’ve relied heavily on stadium charging power chords but in this record there are strings, synth, a slide guitar and I’m fairly sure some Fugazi-style bass. This is not at the cost of some good moshing crowd pleasers. ‘Something for Nothing’, will get the any crowd’s blood up when Grohl breaks into a steadily building yell and the funky guitar will cause fans to do a double take. ‘In the Clear’ is a particular favourite. The Foos are joined by a jazz band from New Orleans, giving it an almost orchestral feel, yet it remains a punk-rock song through and through. The closing songs, ‘Subterranean’ and ‘I Am a River’ are softer, catering to the less hardcore elements of the Foo Fighters fan base. ‘I Am a River’ certainly is a feel-good song, designed to carry the album off with a catchy soft-rock bang. After twenty years of recording together it is a testament to the Foo Fighters that they can still produce a quality record. Their trick is to keep it exciting, changing scenery, trying something new. They are the musical equivalent of fluffy handcuffs in the bedroom. George Smith
The Courier
music.29
Monday 24 November 2014
thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_music
Talking Heads In the wake of American-domi- nated EMAs, Liam Keeble and Tim Hardy debate whether the rest of the world can stand up to American pop music
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hat are the EMAs even about these days? They certainly aren’t about music. They seem more like an excuse for celebrities to make more money out of doing nothing, the final source of income for the dying industry. I guess everybody wins, apart from music. With huge American pop heavyweights from Katy Perry to Ariana Grande stealing the gongs at Glasgow’s recent ceremony it does look worrying for British pop music. One Direction being the only British band to actually get recognition, however, suggests that British pop music is in a real dire state. That is, however, until you look at the great wealth of British pop music out there. There is sea of acts, whether they be u n d i s c ov e re d , up and coming or established, who’s integrity would only be compromised by a trip to this s acr i leg ious ceremony. British pop stretches from FKA Twigs’ minimalistic R’n’B, to the rise of pop diva Ella Eyre; bands such as Circa Waves and Jungle are showcasing a strong heritage of British mu-
sic; and even underground, established names such as Sampha bring a diverse cultural influence to new music. There is a clear distinction between these pop stars and those with their names in lights. Those who are not in it solely for the celebrity status actually make good, boundary pushing music, while commercialised pop stars (celebrities I mean, I am reluctant to call them pop stars) continue on the same boring path simply designed to sell. Ultimately, music from any country other than the USA does not need to stand up for itself at award ceremonies. Most award ceremonies, in
“Most award ceremonies don’t even represent musicians, they represent celebrities”
fact, don’t even represent musicians, they represent celebrities. The question we may want to ask here is: can American pop music stand up to the diverse standards of the rest of the world?
F
Liam Keeble
or decades, the British music charts have been dominated by North American exports. From Elvis Presley to Miley Cyrus, the nation’s appetite for our colonial cousins seems insatiable and set to continue long into the future. Even bearing in mind the supposed glory years for British pop music – the mid 1990s – a customary glance at the charts confirms North America’s dominance: the best-selling single of 1995 was not ‘Some Might Say’ or ‘Country House’ from the much-hyped ‘Battle of Britpop’, but Canadian Celine Dion’s ‘Think Twice’. The question, of course, is why Britain laps up pop music so often derided by journalists and musicians, spending our hard-earned cash on over-produced songs with little actual substance behind them. The answer inevitably lies in our collective fascination with the culture of America. The number of songs directly citing America to have reached enviable chart positions in the UK is striking. From Springsteen’s ‘Born In The USA’ (#5) to Green Day’s admittedly brilliant ‘American Idiot’ (#1), any mention of the Stars and Stripes seems to result in a spark of interest from the British consumer. Viewed on the flip-side, British success stories in America are few-and-far-between. So few of our acts have achieved the fabled act of ‘cracking America’ it’s almost laughable. Any band exhibiting a palpable sense of ‘Britishness’ – think the Sex Pistols or Blur – are generally met with small crowds and disdain on a trip across the pond. Nowadays, to achieve even moderate success in North America it seems necessary for acts to eschew any kind of national identity within their music. For some, most notably Adele whose main strength lies in her voice rather than songs, this may be an achievable goal. Most, however, would simply be abandoning the identity and substance which makes their music so great in the first place. Tim Hardy
What gives Nicki the Reich?
In the controversy surrounding the lyric video for Nicki Minaj’s ‘Only’, Music Editor Jamie Shepherd H[SORUHV RWKHU WLPHV ZKHQ PXVLFLDQV KDYH IRROLVKO\ À LUWHG ZLWK WKH IDU ULJKW
T
he lyric video for Nicki Minaj’s latest song ‘Only’ is just wrong on so many levels. For one thing the lyrics are basically Nicki Minaj just saying that she didn’t fuck Drake or Lil’ Wayne, and then Drake and Lil’ Wayne saying they didn’t fuck Nicki but they’re happy to wait “in line”. Then you’ve got a badly animated version of Drake parading around a church in priest’s robes, mitre, and dog collar - but that ain’t the cardinal sin in this video. That award probably goes to the fact that Minaj shoves a bunch of Nazi imagery in there. In a particularly awful segment of the video, Nicki pretty much recreates the Nuremberg rallies, complete with tanks, an army of red-armband wearing soldiers, and a model of her arse on top of a building that looks a lot like Die Zeppelinfield. The animated Nicki is reclined on a throne, being fanned by naked hunks, and is clearly overseer of this unholy empire. What needs to be asked in this circumstance is who the fuck in Minaj HQ thought that this would be a good idea?
The director of the video, Jeff Osborne, has refused to apologise for his video by saying “neither I nor the video are anti-Semitic”; however using Nazi iconography goes further than being anti-Semitic - it’s anti-fucking-everything! The confusing thing about this is that there is a history of popstars flirting with fascism, who clearly should have known better.
“Nazi iconography goes further than being anti-Semitic; it’s antifucking-everything” Debonair Roxy Music frontman Bryan Ferry made headlines in 2007 when he declared the iconography of the pre-Second World War era as “fantastic” and “beautiful”. He claimed the statements were made from an art-history perspective and did offer a full apology, however I really think that if you’re in the public eye, you should stay as far away from the far right as you can. However, Ferry wasn’t the only superstar from the 70s with a leaning to the right. As much as I love Bowie, the cocaine period of the mid-70s must have been a nightmare for his PR people as not only did he make the bold claim that “Britain could benefit from a fascist leader”, but was stopped by customs on the border between Russia and Poland for possessing Nazi paraphernalia. Nazi imagery wasn’t just a preserve of the glam rockers; it was also a feature of early punk imagery. The images of Siouxise and Sid bedecked in red-swastika t-shirts, while Johnny Rotten sings ‘Belsen Was a Gas’ may have seemed like a youthful, rebellious V-sign in the direction of their parents’ generation, but in reality this appropriation of
I’m so bored of the USA
Nazi iconography defeats this notion of anarchy that Malcolm McLaren tried to perpetuate due to the Nazi regime being one of totalitarian state control. As the punk rockers of yesteryear cringe at the ill thought out fashion mistakes of 1977, so too, I imagine, should Minaj if she ever tires of controversy. The problem with Nicki Minaj, and much the same as these young punks and coked up David Bowie, may be that she is at a stage of her career and her life when she is seemingly indestructible. She’s experiencing a glut of producers willing to work with her and she is yet to encounter any downfalls in record sales. In her Twitter apology, Minaj stated that she had no hand in the concept for this video, which makes me wonder how much involvement she’s had in anything that she’s put out in the last five years. Perhaps, Nicki Minaj is not so much indestructible but veering more towards the realm of clueless. This video for ‘Only’ would clearly suggest this.
Music Editor Jamie Shepherd compiles his top ¿ YH PRPHQWV ZKHQ WKH UHVW of the world told America to fuck off for once
1
Jarvis moons Jacko
When MJ performed ‘Earth Song’ at the 1996 Brit Awards, imitating Jesus, it was up to the weed in tweed to invade the stage and wave his arse in the direction of the supposed king of pop. Britpop was at it’s zeitgeist, New Labour was just around the corner, and independent British cinema was at it’s heroin drenched-peak with the release of Trainspotting..
Special K-Pop
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As loath as I am to place rotund Korean gentleman Psy and ‘Gangnam Style’ in this list, it would be stupid of me to disregard the fact that 2012’s biggest song came from the Far East. Every young child, old granny, and embarassing uncle was Gangnam Styling their way from wedding disco to viral video.
3
It’s Superbowl XLVI. Madonna is the halftime act and she’s flanked by Nicki Minaj and MIA. They’re dressed as Egyptian cheerleaders and they’re dancing- but wait! What’s that obscene gesture that MIA’s pulled, offending the whole of middle America? For a London-based musician who was raised by outspoken Sri Lankan Tamils, this is probably the least inflammatory thing she’s done.
4
MIA flips the bird
Sid Vicious farts on entry
Legend has it that on first arrival to the US, Sex Pistol bassist Sid Vicious was unsurprisingly singled out for a drugs check. Instead of bending over and taking it like a gentleman, Sid farted on the customs official. There were no drugs up Sid’s arse and punk rock showed bureaucracy who was boss.
5
Beatlemania
An obvious choice, however it’d be idi otic of me to leave it out. One Direction prance around like they’re the ones who cracked America, but Harry Styles can fuck right off with his floppy hair and dreamboat good looks. It was a band from Liverpool who were the ones who first made it proper in the States, and Americans couldn’t get enough of them, despite the “bigger than Jesus” furore.
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The Courier
gaming.31
Monday 24 November 2014
thecourieronline.co.uk @Courier_Gaming
Gaming Editors: Sophie Baines and Ben Tyrer
Check yo privilege: are gamers too entitled? Do gamers simply expect too much for their gaming quid, or are they right to make demands of developers? Josh Hills ponders the troubling question
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amer Entitlement is a rather negative term that has been floating around the internet for a number of years, used to describe players who express discontent towards games they deem unsatisfactory or lacking in important features. Some examples include: Mass Effect 3’s infamous ending, the demand for Half-Life 3 and the uproar over The Sims 4’s lack of the series’ characteristic features. Are these gamers wrong to expect more of developers? Or are we ‘entitled’ to better games? In terms of technical faults in games, developers should be responsible for putting out patches (Fallout: New Vegas, anyone?). If your gameplay is hindered to the point that your character is endlessly falling through the swirling vortex that is the underbelly of the game’s map, then you have every right to complain after spending £40+ on a game you expected to work. It is the duty of developers to amend this with patches, just as a store should
App review: Smash Hit
fix or replace a faulty product. Gameplay itself should also be engaging, adhering to or exceeding expectations of the game’s genre. Games, like TV shows and films, are put out there to be enjoyed or critiqued. Everyone has the right to complain about these things, after all, they exist for our consumption. Furthermore, the fact that people feel so strongly about gaming shows that it is not exactly killing the industry, instead keeping the interest in games very much alive. However, ‘Gamer entitlement’ in terms of questioning a developer’s artistic choices is unfortunately a whole other story.
“Developers are responsible for patching their games”
Should we expect developers to change their storylines or styles? Bugs and bad gameplay take away playability: however, a game can have a terrible
plot but be exciting to play. Fighting games are often lacking in story, but offer hours of fun. But if a game is led by its narrative, do we have the right to expect more from developers? Bioware, developer of the Mass Effect series, added more content to the final game’s ending cutscene in response to upset fans, something that would have been very difficult to do back when consoles were offline. Should they have edited the ending? In my opinion, no. For me, it takes away the creative choices of the developers: it is their art, after all. Furthermore, gameplay should be the most important aspect of any game, followed by story. But we are not entitled to have the story edited if we don’t like it. If people aren’t happy with a particular scene in a TV show or film, do the producers opt to have it reshot or reedited? No. The integrity of the original vision should remain intact, and developers should simply acknowledge this feedback and use it to perfect future projects.
What I’m Playing: Diablo II
James McCoul slays demons, hordes loot and explores Sanctuary in the action-rpg classic Diablo II
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mash Hit is a game by Mediocre. It runs smoothly on all new phones and unlike most new games it gives the user the option to change the graphics quality to lower lag if you’re on an older device. The game is free, available on the app store and the play store. However it has an optional in-app purchase for £1.49 which gives you access to unlocked checkpoints, game statistics, and alternative game moods such as Zen, Training, and Mayhem mode. Although the extra in app purchases add a lot of fun to the game and make it an easier and less time consuming game to play, they are not necessities for getting a high score specially if you can spare some time and focus on the game. You are taken through a very short and sweet introduction in the beginning of the game where you’ll learn all you need to know. The game is very clean and simplistic both in terms of graphics and gameplay. The aim of the game is to avoid running out of balls, there are two ways to lose balls, first is by tapping the screen and throwing them, and second is by hitting crystals in your path. You gain balls by hitting special blue crystals, and can get multiball if you hit 10 of those crystals in a row. The physics engine of the game very good and consistent throughout the game. The game is very addictive at first but fear not the addiction will wear off after you get past the 11 checkpoints and enter endless mode. Pressure to spend money on in app purchases isn’t high and there are no advertisements making the game a lot less annoying than Candy Crush and Clash of Clans. The game becomes more challenging the longer you play forcing you to improve your aim and focus. This finely refined game is a must have for everyone. The free version offers more than enough and if you really like the game you can go pro by getting the full version. Faraz Arjomandi
A
lot of games owe a great deal to Diablo. The manic weapon-hoarding of Borderlands; the perfected dungeon crawling of Path of Exile and countless others; literally everything in Torchlight, all traces back to a grimdark gothic fantasy RPG thrown together back when Blizzard was just a light snowfall. And I personally owe a lot to it too – I first played Diablo II when I was seven years old, and not a year has gone by that I haven’t come back to it again and again. But there’s more than just nostalgia to Diablo II’s timeless appeal, so if you’ll indulge my fanboy gushing for a couple of paragraphs I’ll delve into what makes the satanic action RPG that launched a thousand clones so iconic. When I say Diablo II is dripping with atmosphere, I mean it in every sense. Literally, blood and viscera pour out of the world of Sanctuary, Diablo’s twisted, desolate setting; metaphorically, Matt Uelmen’s eerie, melancholic compositions give the sensation of being truly haunted, and yet truly alone. ‘Tristram’ in particular remains among my favourite tracks from any video game. It’s a rich, beautiful, terrible world that Blizzard creates, and from the decomposing corpses adorning torture devices in the Rogue Monastery to the putrescent mass graves of Kurast, they milk it to the last dark crimson drop. While the gameplay isn’t as refined as we’ve come to expect (two spells equipped at a time? Well, it is only 1999), it set the standard for the genre, and
the restrictive ability management in no way impedes the enjoyment. The powers you get feel just that: powerful, and as your avatar in the demoninfested hellscape turns from a nobody with just a crappy sword and a vendetta to an imposing, seasoned veteran you’ll genuinely feel it too, but never so much that the game stops challenging you. Enemies scale in the usual palette-swapping fashion, bringing in new models and strategies for every new Act, and the generally gargantuan demon bosses you face throughout the game always tend to offer a particular teeth-clenching strain on your abilities. Especially Duriel. Fuck Duriel.
Review: FIFA 2015 How do you improve on near-perfection? Huezin Lim takes a look at Fifa 15
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IFA 2014 was a near-perfect football gaming experience so what should one expect from the next year’s iteration? One might choose to buy the game merely for the roster updates or a shiny new game cover but that would be ridiculous in and of itself. Having only played for less than two hours, one might not expect an extremely detailed and comprehensive review of the game but there is no denying the fact that upon your first impression, FIFA 2015 is a simply beautiful game, regardless of which platform you take your favourite team on to the pitch. The new Ignite engine has made the game almost life-like and it is hard to critique the beauty of the cinematics and textures. Despite this, numerous issues, some of which has been rectified since launch day, have plagued FIFA 2015. Gameplay has been reported to be buggy especially on the PC version, with unrealistic AI at higher difficulties and fundamentally, an incessant stuttering issue. The game is simply not intuitive, with little customisable options and for an experienced player, the game is spoonfeeding them, with accurate passes and goals every time. For such an established franchise, problems such as this simply should not be the case. Online play has been filled with lag and instability as well, providing a less than adequate experience. For all its beauty, glitz and glamour, the fact of the matter is that FIFA 2015 is the only viable option for fo otb a l ling fans such as myself. Everything other than the gameplay and simulation works extremely well which completely defeats the purpose of the inherent game. For example, the difference in difficulty between Amateur and Semi-Pro is diabolical. A firsttime player of the game can just
“FIFA 2015 is the only viable “While the gameplay isn’t as option for footballing fans such refined as later entries, Diablo II as myself ” set the standard for the genre” as easily stroll into the goal on Amateur but on
A macabre, morbid tone that defined a whole category of games and a formula that kicked off a genre make Diablo II an important game, but in its antiquity, is it worth revisiting? With modern contenders and its own sequel, itself a couple of years old, Diablo II’s legacy seems to have almost left it in the dust, and yet people keep coming back to it. But that’s the thing about timeless games: you can play them once or a million times, and they just won’t get old. Diablo II is more than a timeless game; like Diablo himself, it’s immortal, and with still-functioning online support there’s no time like the present to explore Sanctuary’s foul lands.
the next difficulty, the same human player could not possibly take on Huddersfield Town with the reigning world champions, Germany. The best they could hope for is a 0-0 draw. There is the hope that with Pro Evolution Soccer 2015 coming out in November 13, a true competitor for FIFA will emerge and finally give EA a reason to truly innovate and improve their game mechanics. As beautiful as the game is, there is no reason to buy FIFA 2015 over FIFA 2014 so if you have not had a new FIFA game in a while, go for the cheaper option and you may just thank me for this advice.
32.science&technology
Monday 24 November 2014
The Courier
Science Editors: Laura Staniforth and Penny Polson Online Science Editor: Jack Marley
Teasy does it
Science of the Tyne Totally legitimate experiments
Herbal tea has often been touted for its various healing properties. But do any of them actually work? Three Courier editors trialled a tea for a week in the name of slightly dubious, near-boiling science Twinings - Salted Pukka - Revitalise Pukka - Three Mints So are herbal caramel green tea eing a notorious serial sleeping-in’er, reen tea is touted by homeopathic types eppermint herbal tea is the first herbal tea teas the answer?
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library-desk-slumper and grade-A lazy bum when lacking a good kick of something in the morning, which better poison to pick than Pukka’s Revitalise? Consisting of organic (oooh!) cinnamon, cardamom and ginger it heartily boasted the abilities to make you ‘come alive’ and experience ‘life in full flavour’. Sassy. Such extreme claims for tea should hardly come as a surprise as for thousands of years many cultures have praised tea for its medicinal qualities. A single tea leaf contains a wide variety of amino acids, carbohydrates, lipids, vitamins and minerals. However the most popular quality that everyone appears to be in-the-know about is its supply of caffeine (11mg per 100mg), a psychoactive, central nervous stimulant that wards off drowsiness and restores alertness when consumed. With a bit of digging around I discovered that Revatalise had not only a good supply of caffeine that genuinely helped me out of the house in time for my lectures in the morning, but also a unique amino acid called L-theanine. This provided my body with a calming effect that counteracted with the extreme highs and jitteriness that I can sometimes experience from coffee. With a subtle taste of cinnamon, an aromatic pop of orange, finished with a slight touch of spearmint, drinking this stuff each day certainly wasn’t a chore. Rosie Bellini
“With a bit of digging around I discovered that Revatalise had not only a good supply of caffeine that genuinely helped me out of the house in time for my lectures in the morning, but also a unique amino acid called L-theanine”
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as being some kind of magical superelixir (one website I stumbled across said it could ‘reduce your risk of dying’, which is a pretty big claim). Scientific studies have suggested that the high level of catechins – a type of antioxidant – in it can lower your risk of cancer, neurodegredation and cardiovascular disease, as well as possibly helping with weight loss. I drank Twinings’ Salted Caramel Green Tea for a week to see if I felt any different at the end of it. First off, can I just point out that Twinings’ Salted Caramel Green Tea does not taste like salted caramel; it tastes like green tea, and you’re probably better off saving your cash and buying supermarket own-brand. In terms of its effects, I didn’t notice anything particularly special, but then again I feel that most of its purported benefits are likely to manifest themselves over a longer period of time than just a week – I don’t think I can put the fact that I didn’t develop cancer in the past week solely down to green tea. I did lose half a kilogram, but I’m ascribing that to not having eaten properly. Verdict: longer trial needed. Kate Bennett
Image: Chumsdock
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that I liked - it has a refreshing zing after each sip that drew me in for more. It therefore seemed inevitable that it would be my tea of choice for this week’s science challenge. Peppermint tea is well known for its benefits to digestive health, and is also an effective antimicrobial, which is why it has become the main flavour used in toothpaste. When trawling through the articles relating to mint tea, I also found a Newcastle study from 2009 suggests that Brazilian mint tea has the ability to block pain. The dose of mint tea prescribed by traditional Brazilian healers was found to be as effective as anti-inflammatory drug Indometacin. However, the taste was described as ‘more like sage’ when consumed, suggesting that higher doses of the traditional Brazilian mint is a far cry from modern doses of herbal tea. Fortunately for my taste buds, I had the very pleasant tasting ‘Pukka - Three Mints’ herbal tea to try instead. I am already somewhat of a connoisseur of mint herbal teas, so I know that Pukka’s organic version is the best. Overall, my digestion regime did not alter very much. I even had a slightly sore stomach later in the week, but it did seem to ease when I had a mint herbal tea. This may have been the placebo effect after the research I had done relating to the pain relief of mint, but I like to think it helped.
“The health benefits of herbal tea are widely renowned, but is there a dark side to the fruity brightness?”
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he week of trials brought many extra mugs into the Courier office, but the actual effects on our editors’ bodies remain inconclusive. We needed to dig further into herbal tea-ology in order to discover whether there are any possible effects that we had missed in our admittedly short, and rather flawed, ‘scientific’ experiment. There has been limited scientific research investigating the effects of herbal teas, which is why official health advice is to drink it, but not go over-board with its consumption. Green tea is suggested to boost the metabolism, and is therefore often used as part of a weight-loss diet. Raspberry leaf has the somewhat more dramatic effect of bringing on labour during overdue pregnancy, and the possibility of pain relief from peppermint tea has already been discussed. The health benefits of herbal tea are widely renowned, but is there a dark side to the fruity brightness? The spice ‘star anise’ is possibly linked to seizures and vomiting when it is used in a herbal tea. However, there are two types of star anise; the toxic Japanese variety, and the safe Chinese version, which look identical when dried. It is therefore difficult to monitor exactly which variety is being used in each tea. The packaging may also contain harmful elements, although this of course does not just apply to herbal teas. Tea bags are often treated using epichlorohydrin, which hydrolyses upon contact with water, and turns into a potentially carcinogenic compound. Of course, the fact that herbal teas are still being sold means that the potential ricks outlined above have not been proven beyond reasonable doubt, like many other elements of our life style that are suggested to cause cancer. The evidence of the benefits are more concrete than suggested side effects, and so the general advice is to enjoy your herbal tea, but don’t go too crazy. Penny Polson
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Research means humans can alter mouse genes with the power of thought. Louise Bingham investigates
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ew research in Switzerland has developed converted into electrical signals through the EEG a way to ‘switch on’ genes with nothing which activated a gene in the lab mice. but the power of thought. SciThe mice had previously had a wireentists led by Martin Fussenegger less infrared LED bulb and a small of ETH University Zurich have implant inserted under their skin successful managed to activate containing genetically engia genetic response in mice neered cells. These cells are from the brainwaves of hu‘switched on’ by the presman participants. ence of infrared light, and Electroencephalography begin to produce a protein devices (EEGs) where atcalled SEAP. tached to the foreheads When the volunteers of human volunteers to concentrated on the record their brainwaves game, their brainwaves whilst they played a turned on a field gencomputer game called erator underneath the Mindflex. mice which, in-turn, Participants were lit up the LED and asked to adopt three activating the SEAP different mental states, protein. As the proall of which evoked tein seeped out of the very specific brain activimplant, it entered the ity. When the participants bloodstream where it was were concentrating on the recorded by the researchcomputer game, energy ers. Image: Glogger from their brain activity was The research, published
in Nature Communications, is a massive breakthrough spreading many fields of science including genetics, neuroscience and engineering. Fussenegger admitted that “Being able to control gene expression via the power of thought is a dream that we’ve been chasing for over a decade.” This is the first successful ‘proof of concept’ experiment which has linked mind control to the molecular biology of gene transcription, but it is far from pioneering in terms of using mind control to power electronic devices. Scientists have already managed to power robotic arms using the power of their minds in order to act as replacement limbs for paralysed people. Fussenegger said that he had “designed it for potential application for locked-in patients who can no longer communicate with the outside world other than with their mental activities and brainwaves.” But researchers hope it will have broader applications than that. With further research, the technology will one day be used to manage pain and even prevent epileptic seizures; the specific brainwave patterns that occur before a fit could be used to trigger the release of medication before the subject even knows something is wrong.
Martyn Boutelle, of Imperial College London, said that “it may be possible for patients to learn to use mental states to control bioengineered implants that release relief-giving therapy.”
“With further research, the technology will one day be used to manage pain and even prevent epileptic seizures” However, there is still a very long way to go in terms of developing the technology before it can be put to practical use. We are yet to understand how to fully decode brainwaves; the same result was observed when volunteers were in a state of meditation opposed to concentration, meaning a lot work is needed to refine the process to respond only to specific mental activity. The technology is also yet to progress from the animal testing stage. But if scientists can land Philae on a comet, rest assured mind control medication will soon be common place. With today’s advancements in modern technology, science fiction is rapidly becoming science fact.
The Courier
Monday 24 November 2014
technology&science.33 thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_science
Here come the wolves Alex Irvine explores rewilding, and the reintroduction of big mammals to the UK
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ith extinctions occurring at an alarming rate in the British Isles, the solution may come by appealing for the helping hand - or in this case paw - of various furry flesheating beasts. This is just one of the features of ‘rewilding’. It is a conservation method defined by ‘cores, corridors and carnivores’ that calls for the reintroduction of carnivores such as wolves, lynxes and bears to Britain. We now know that predators have wide ranging effects on the primary levels of an ecosystem and their removal can be severely disruptive. By reintroducing apex predators - that’s predators at the top of the food chain - interactions in an ecosystem can be restored. These ecosystems are more sturdy and less sensitive to change. Biodiversity is also likely to increase. Simply put, if you invite the top gun to a party, more guests turn up. By reintroducing wolves to Scotland, deer populations that hamper the establishment of fauna and birds could be reduced. Yellowstone National
Image: Daniel Mott
Park’s reintroduction of wolves proved incredibly successful. Populations of bears, beavers and bison increased and aspen, cottonwood and willow grew better. The wolves have the potential to balance out the ecosystem. And this is true for many highlevel predators.
“The main objective of rewilding is to reach a point where we can be taken out of the equation”
Other carnivores and keystones species that have been mentioned include: lynxes, bears, beavers, bison, elephants and moose. Some of the species require a certain degree of change to our land usage. The wooded conditions required for the Eurasian Lynx are already present. Elephants are at early stages of discussion, with the straight-tusked elephant (close relative to the Asian elephant) being driven out 115,000 years ago. Many of our trees display signs they evolved elephant-proofing mechanisms, such as their ability to regrow from a snapped region. The main objective of rewilding is to reach a point where we can be taken out of the equation. To leave nature alone. Systems widely often regarded as ‘wild’ like meadows and moorlands aren’t actually. They require close management from humans. These systems would be cast aside to make way for forests and woodland. Scotland is already making headway, afforesting a large degree of land - although, it has been blamed for causing acidification which could prove an issue for its approval across the rest of the UK. Unfortunately leaving nature alone doesn’t come naturally to us. Most of the challenges that come with installing this conservation method are human. Firstly there’s the misplaced perception that these large carnivores pose a threat to humans. Additionally there’s is the fear that they’d kill livestock and consequently impact farmer’s livelihoods. Other conservationists have said that rewilding is unattainable and we’ve reached a point of no re-
turn when it comes to managing wildlife. Around half of terrestrial species in the UK live in open systems managed by humans. If abandoned, these species could be at risk of being lost - therefore is it better to maintain a human-managed but depleted ecosystem, or risk trying to allow biodiversity to flourish? Everyone would have to be on board as human interference would be the main obstacle in maintaining a ‘rewilded’ area of land. If rewilding were to be done it would have to be done with complete abandonment. You can’t endeavour to half abandon something. A ghost town doesn’t appoint someone to annually polish the woodwork. Furthermore there’s a noted bias to what we see as ‘natural’. There tends to be a trend of preserving ecosystems that people encounter as children, and a phrase has even been coined ‘shifting baseline syndrome’. Unfortunately, no single generation alive today has encountered an ecosystem not shaped by humans. In theory we are part of the ecosystem. As a species that occupies every continent of the planet it’s a certainty that we will shape our environment. But with figures emerging that 40% of the world’s wildlife has disappeared within the last 40 years, is a human-influenced world really one to congratulate? Rewilding offers an alternative to that. It offers optimism for the future. It is evocative of the stories of Tolkien and Lewis where anthropomorphic animals play their part in society: bears, lynxes, beavers and wolves all contributing their talents to a common goal. A goal that requires us to do nothing remotely threatening: to leave things alone.
Image: Steve
Can’t get you out of my head What makes a song so catchy? Sarah McIntyre breaks it down
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usic has always be known to have a strange effect on our brains. The right song can change your mood in an instant, and there is always that one song which we can remember word perfect when we would rather remember our notes for the impending exams. It should come as no surprise then that scientific research had seen a recent focus towards the weird and wonderful world of music. The two latest musical studies have discovered hip-hop as a cure for mental illness and the science behind being catchy.
“‘Wannabe’ by The Spice Girls has been scientifically proven to be the catchiest song of the past 70 years”
The first study, conducted by a group of psychiatrists at the University of Cambridge, have looked into the possible correlation of rap music helping those suffering from mental illnesses. Hip-hop music is certainly not an obvious place to look for to help beat mental illness with its frequent association with violence, drugs and crime but according to Dr Akeem Sule, it’s this vivid imagery of extremely negative situations that can be relatable to people suffering from depression and bipolar disorder. It’s not just the relatability though, these songs often include messages of hope and dreams of a better future that could help inspire people suffering with mental illnesses to see a more positive side and help them through the more difficult periods of their lives. The second big discovery is that the song ‘Wannabe’ by the Spice Girls has been scientifically proven to be the catchiest song of the past 70 years. This research was the combined project of a team from the University of Amsterdam and the Museum of Science and Industry, Manchester. The group of computational musicologists, led by Dr Ashley Burgoyne, developed a game, called Hooked on Music, where the participant had to identify the song as quickly as possible and then try and continue the song in their heads while the song is played on mute.
Whale of the Week - Where’s Whale-y? Fin Whale (Balaenoptera physalus)
Image: Ezekiel
Illustration by Becky Irvine
This process aimed to decide if the song was catchy and memorable rather than just recognisable. ‘Wannabe’ was the catchiest song identified by the game so far, with it being identified correctly in an average time of 2.29 seconds. The second catchiest song was Lou Bega’s ‘Mambo No. 5’ being identified in 2.48 seconds. Most songs took an average of about 5 seconds to recognise. This isn’t a study to find the perfect formula for a best seller, however, the group in Amsterdam hope to further this research and use the results to better understand the ability of memory and hope to use the findings to help with research into dementia. Both studies illustrate that while music is a great source of entertainment, it has very valid medical benefits too. This is great news for all of you who need another reason to justify yet another night in Sinners: it’s the perfect way to look after your mental health! (Disclaimer: Sinners will probably not help with your mental health.)
The Courier
puzzles.35
Monday 24 November 2014
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Puzzles Editor: Kate Bennett
Courier Catch- phrase
See if you can guess (catch) the common idiom (phrase) shown in these picture combos?
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“I’m Roy Walker and I heartily endorse this event and/or product”
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1 Parks and Recreation character, enjoys meat and hunting (3, 7) 6 All correct (2) 9 Lament (5) 10 Horned mythical horse (7) 11 Asthma treatment; Foals single (7) 12 “In the year of the Lord” (2) 13 Pink bird, stands on one leg (8) 17 Scottish beret (3) 20 Unwell person (7) 21 Screech (4) 24 Level of nobility, below Marquess and above Viscount (4) 25 Lunar light (8) 26 Member of moving community (5) 27 Blow-up party decoration (7)
For even more news, views, sports and culture, make sure you head over to thecourieronline. co.uk
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1 Social network in which users can upvote or downvote content (6) 2 Tusked whale (7) 3 Round device used in transport (5) 4 Subatomic particle with no net electric charge (7) 5 Leaves out (5) 7 Monarchy (7) 8 Disease (archaic) (3) 14 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Banks, rapper (7) 15 Common expressions with figurative meanings (6) 16 Doctor (2) 18 The real first name of Head Prick George Osborne (6) 19 Percussion instrument consisting of a thing, circular piece of metal (6) 22 Citrus fruit (5) 23 Generic fizzy drink (4)
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Find the word that con- nects these three words. Hint: Enclosure/writing implement
36.sportfeatures
Monday 24 November 2014
The Courier
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The icing on the cake? Not always. In this issue, we explore some of the most mindblowing and disappointing title matches of the 21st century
From Hell to Heaven In any discussion of classic finals, you would be hard pressed to find a better final in all of footballing history than the 2005 Champions League Final between Liverpool and AC Milan. Individually, Milan was the clear favourites, with players such as Crespo and Shevchenko at the peak of their goal scoring powers. Alongside the playmaking prowess of Kaká and Pirlo behind them and all in all, this would make a superb team. While Liverpool had a few living legends themselves, like the incomparable Steven Gerrard, the truth is that they lacked the fear factor that Milan had in abundance. Milan opened the scoring with the quickest goal in any Champions League final, with captain Paolo Maldini exquisitely volleying home Pirlo’s freekick after just 52 seconds. Milan soon added another with Crespo adding his name to the score sheet before a moment of magic inspired Milan’s third. A beautiful turn from Kaká, a pinpoint accurate pass that dissected the Liverpool defence and a delicate chip from Crespo surely put the game beyond Liverpool’s reach, before half-time. However, Liverpool were not done yet. Whatever manager, Rafael Benitez said to Liverpool worked its magic.
A miraculous second half rally saw the game go from 3-0 to 3-3 in just 6 minutes. An awe-inspiring header from captain Gerrard, a piledriver of a shot from Šmicer who played his last game for Liverpool, and a scrappy finish from Alonso who has just had his penalty saved by Milan’s keeper, Dida. After a few goal line clearances and unbelievable saves, most notably Liverpool’s Jerzey Dudek who denied Shevchenko twice from close range, the game went to dreaded penalties. Serginho blazed his penalty over the bar before Dudek brilliantly saved Pirlo’s spot kick. Liverpool meanwhile calmly converted their 2 penalties. Tomasson calmly converted for Milan yet Riise’s was saved by Dida. Kaká calmly slotted his home and Šmicer followed suit. However, with all the pressure on Shevchenko’s shoulders, Jerzy Dudek managed to break Milan hearts, sparking pandemonium amongst the traveling Liverpool faithful, sealing a historic victory for Liverpool. In taking their fifth European title Liverpool joined Real Madrid, Milan themselves, Bayern Munich and Ajax in being awarded the trophy to keep. Stuart Ward
Liverpool lifted the trophy after a breathtaking drama Photography by Getty Images
Räikkönen’s Brazilian masterpiece
Raikkonen secured the F1 crown in phenomenal style Photography by Getty Images
The final race of the 2007 Formula One season was poised to be a very intriguing spectacle. Lewis Hamilton in his debut season for McLaren, reigning double world champion Fernando Alonso and Kimi Räikkönen were all in the mix for the title. Räikkönen won the previous race in China while Hamilton ended up in the gravel trap on his pit entry. Alonso was still in the mix despite a frosty relationship with McLaren. Hamilton had 107 points, Alonso 103 and Räikkönen 100. The stage was set for Interlagos to host the first three-way title showdown in 21 years. The race weekend seemed to be heading in Hamilton’s favour; with the Englishman qualifying in second. Räikkönen qualified in third and Alonso in fourth. However, the pole sitter was
home favourite Felipe Massa; Räikkönen team mate. This would prove crucial. Unfortunately, Hamilton would have to wait for another spectacular finish in 2008. Both Raikkonen and Alonso managed to pass Hamilton through the first two turns of the race. Hamilton’s lack of experience had a part to play as the first lap spelt disaster for his chances. Trying to retake the position from Alonso, he ended up running wide at the next turn losing valuable positions. To make matters worse, a few laps later, Hamilton lost his gearbox. By the time he was able to resolve the issue and regain full power in his car, Hamilton had slipped down to 18th. Massa came in to play by pitting on lap 50 allowed Räikkönen a chance to drive
in clear air. After pitting a few laps later, the Finn managed to stay ahead of his team mate upon re-emerging from the pit-lane. Meanwhile, Hamilton was not to be underestimated, charging to 7th position but it was not to be as he had already been lapped by Kimi. Räikkönen’s win allowed him to finish on 110 points. Hamilton’s 7th place was only worth 2 points, leaving him on 109 and 1 point short. Alonso’s podium finish was enough for 6 points. Kimi Räikkönen, the rank outsider had somehow defied the odds to land the world title. Despite most of us expecting and praying for a Hamilton title, this final race of the season had all the drama that was to be expected. Michael Rowan
7KDW :LPEOHGRQ ¿ QDO There is not much that can be said that has not already been said about one of the greatest rivalries in modern-day sports. Rafael Nadal, the southpaw from Mallorca and Roger Federer, the gentleman from Switzerland has been at the pinnacle of tennis for ten years now. They have played some one-sided matches, especially for Nadal on his favourite surface, clay. The pair have also played one of the greatest matches of all time, the 2008 Wimbledon Final. Both players were at the zenith of their careers. Nadal had just won the French Open for the fourth time in a row and was seeking to achieve a French-Wimbledon double. However, having lost to Federer in the last 2 Wimbledon finals, Federer seeking his fifth Wimbledon on the trot, no one had the psychological edge. The match began with a match delay of 35 minutes due to rain, as Centre Court had yet to install a retractable roof. As Nadal took the first two sets, 6–4 , 6–4, Federer faced a sense of inevitable defeat as no player had ever come back and win a Wimbledon final from a 2 set deficit since 1927. As to be expected by the living legend,
he saved three championship points, tying up the match at 2 sets apiece. However, the greatest moment of the match was during the fourth set tie-break. Facing a 5–2 deficit, Federer worked his magic and fought back to 6–6. With an unforced error giving Nadal his first championship point, Federer saved it with a sublime backhand pass. Federer won this set by the skin of his teeth, but the score of 10–8 does not do the quality of tennis any justice. Nadal won the final set 9–7 and wrote history. Besides the remarkable tennis, which epitomizes this match, it was multiple other elements, making this match an unforgettable classic. Several rain delays made this record-breaking 4 hour 40 minute match actually close to 7 hours, the two players played till nearly complete darkness and most of all, Nadal had done the unthinkable and defeated Federer at his greatest, in the most majestic manner possible. The debate will persist on who is the greatest of all time but the 2008 Wimbledon Final is undoubtedly the greatest tennis match of all time. Huezin Lim
Rafa escaped with the trophy leaving the Swiss in tears Photography by Getty Images
The Courier
sportfeatures.37
Monday 24 November 2014
7KH QRW VR 6XSHU %RZO The Super Bowl, as a sporting spectacle, is up there amongst the biggest and best in the United States, if not the world. As the most popular, blue-collar American sport, Football games generally attract huge numbers; in terms of fans, sponsorship and media coverage, the sport is highly lucrative. The Super Bowl, however, remains the crowning jewel of any championship season. The match itself occurs on the first Sunday of February between the champions of the two professional leagues; The National Football League (NFL) and the American Football League (AFL). At its most basic level, the Super Bowl is a highly anticipated battle for superiority between the two bastions of American Football. Consequentially, this level of competition and nationally accentuated hype has bred some truly magical match-ups. The most recent contest, however, was less that inspiring. From the outset, the match between the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos was considered to be one of the best ever; for only the second time in 20 seasons, the number one seeds from each league had qualified for the Grand Final, pitting the best of the best against each other in a
quest for dominance. This contest was Peyton Manning versus the “Legion of Boom”, the defensive secondary led by Richard Sherman, Kam Chancellor and Earl Thomas. This contest pit the best passing offense against the best overall defense and the statistics said it was going to be a competitive match. This was, however, not to be. After he first half of the game, the Seahawks had achieved an unassailable twentytwo lead against the Broncos, causing the result to become a certainty. In fact, the Seahawks scored a further fourteen unanswered points before their beleaguered combatants managed a reply. Even after the Broncos had mustered a consolatory touchdown, the Seahawks landed another converted touchdown to increase the final deficit to thirty-six points. The Broncos were outgunned, outmanned and outclassed on the national stage for all to see, a defeat of devastating consequence for the franchise. In summary, in a game, which promised so much, very little was actually delivered. In essence, it was an exhibition game for the Seahawks; not the final that anyone wanted but, unfortunately, the final we witnessed. Jonty Mawer
Sports Editor Peter Georgiev inspects the most bizarre moments from the sporting world this week
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The final did not live to the high expectations of viewers Photography by Getty Images
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Bradford’s fairytale ended with a nightmare at Wembley Photography by Getty Images
Everyone loves a “giant killer”. There is nothing better than watching a plucky underdog of significantly less natural skill and resource battling and overcoming the giant in true David vs. Goliath style. The Capital One Cup of 2012/13 saw Bradford City, a lowly fourth division side, beat the Premier League outfits of Wigan Athletic, Arsenal and Aston Villa on their way to setting up a final clash with Swansea City, also of the Premier League. The fairytale story had the whole nation, minus a small proportion of South West Wales, routing for the underdog in the hope of one last miracle at Wembley. The final itself was disappointing to the millions tuning in internationally. Hope quickly turned to despair and sympathy as the Swans pulled apart the Yorkshire side in simple fashion, running out comfortable 5-0 winners. The Welsh team even had time to argue amongst themselves as Nathan Dyer was selfishly refused the chance to complete a deserved hat trick from the penalty spot by the greedy De-Guzman.
Whilst we all got carried away with the love of the cup and the classic underdog story, it was easy to forget that Swansea had made history that February afternoon, collecting their first major trophy of their 101-year history. That, along with the fact that only 13 years prior they had been on the verge of collapse whilst struggling at the foot of the old Division 3. History mattered little for most of the audience watching that day. Needless to say, most of the country was willing on the brave Bantams to steal the final. However, it was not quite meant to be for Bradford, although football fans will always remember the toppling of Arsenal and Aston Villa in the previous rounds. The underdog may not always win the battle but will always win the hearts and minds of the public, unfortunately on this occasion, pure skill overcame bravery and the Swans squashed the fairytale in the final, making for bleak viewing and heartbreak across the UK. Calum Wilson
Slain by the Clay King The French Open final in 2008 was expected to be one of the most exciting tennis matches in years, with the two heavyweights Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer, particularly desperate to get their hands on what is often considered the most physically demanding tennis tournament in the world. Having won the Coupe des Mousquetaires for three years in a row since 2005 Nadal was looking to make it four against tough opposition largely hailed as the greatest tennis player of all time, Roger Federer of Switzerland. Nadal had actually defeated Federer in two of his previous Roland Garros victories. The difference however was that the 2006 and 2007 finals had been excitingly fought, four set affairs while the 2008 final lasted a mere 1 hour and 48 minutes, the shortest final in Paris since Bjorn Borg defeated Vitas Gerulaitis all the way back in 1980. Nadal went onto the court guns ablazing, looking to equal Borg’s record of four consecutive wins in the famous competition and blew Federer off the court 6-1, 6-3, 6-0 in stunning fashion, also equalling Borg’s and Ilie Nastase’s record of winning the title without los-
ing a set in the entire tournament. Nadal condemned Federer to his first donut (not winning a game in a set) since 1999 and denied the Swiss legend from becoming only the third tennis player to hold all four Grand Slams at the same time. Federer’s performance was so poor he apologized to the Parisian crowd at the Philippe Chatrier court for only winning four games and praised Nadal’s tennis as “supreme” and “lethal”. The victory left no doubt in anyone’s mind that this was one of the most one sided, lamb-to-the-slaughter tennis finals in modern history - made worse by the “lamb” being one of the sport’s all-time greats. While the French Open clearly remains one of the iconic sporting events of the year, there’s a case to be argued that the tournament itself has become predictable and monotonous. Excluding Roger Federer’s sole victory in 2009, Rafael Nadal has won the large silver trophy every year since 2005, making him the nine time champion. Nobody will hear the Spanish complaining. Alex Hendley
Federer won only four games against the dominating Nadal Photography by Getty Images
hen a footballer explodes in rage during a match, he would usually find himself sent off for aggressive behavior. However, from now on, former German goalkeeper Tim Wiese won’t have to worry about fighting his way to the top anymore. After all, he just joined the most famous battleground arena on the planet – the World Wrestling Entertainment. Okay, don’t jump at me now, I am aware that show wrestling is not real. In fact, for many, it’s not even a sport but a representation of one. Watching WWE fights is like watching the Italian Serie A ten years ago – you know the games are fixed but finding out what sick plot line they invented this time seems much more important. With that in mind, adding Tim Wiese to the contingent of glamorous superstars is undoubtedly a clever marketing strategy. Wiese made his official WWE debut in Frankfurt, Germany Photography by Getty Images
After more than 300 appearances in the Bundesliga, the recently retired German goalkeeper made his WWE debut last Saturday at the live event in Frankfurt to the delight of all delirious home fans. Wiese entered the ring after distracting Golddust who was subsequently knocked out with a double diving splash from the Uso brothers. Then, the 32-year-old celebrated his introduction by dancing with the Usos before climbing the ropes under the crowd’s standing ovation. Thus, the German wrote another chapter of his WWE transition story which so far has been nothing short of spectacular. Wiese’s pursuit of a professional wrestling career began in January 2014 when his contract with Hoffenheim was mutually terminated. By that time, the goalkeeper had already acquired the bodybuilder look after ballooning up to over 100 kilos. Nonetheless, the best was yet to come for the future ring superstar who continued putting up an astonishing amount of muscle. As a result, right now, Wiese looks like something between Hulk and John Travolta. What a beast, even Chuck Norris should be frightened. To be honest, it’s hardly surprising that the former stopper decided to fight for a living. In the past, the German has caused some serious physical damage during his football span. Remember what he did to Ivica Olic? The striker was lucky to remain alive after that Kung-Fu masterpiece. Actually, it might serve as an inspiration for Wiese’s WWE finisher. The move hasn’t still been invented but I personally find “The Bremen Destroyer” an extremely suitable name. Whatever is on the cards for the extravagant German, rest assured it’s worth watching. Whether in Europe or America, Tim Wiese has always been a top-class show maker. Illustration by Daisy Billowes
38.sportintramural&bucs
Monday 24 November 2014
The Courier
Ladies trounced by Leeds Women’s Football Newcastle 1st
0
Leeds Beckett 2nd
5
to attack. The simple but effective strategy was almost used to perfection with the Leeds number seven gave Newcastle left back, Katie McBrinn, a torrid afternoon. The breakthrough came on the twnety-one minute mark; a straightforward ball through from the midfield carved a hole between the Newcastle right back and the covering right midfielder finding the visitor’s number 11 with space and time to lean back and curl the ball away from Jenkins and into the far top corner. Jenkins in the Newcastle goal pulled off a string of stops to keep the score at 1-0 going into the break. The best of the bunch coming just three minutes before the whistle, a low cross from the Leeds left landing in the ‘corridor of uncertainty’ causing chaos at the back. The ball rebounded off a series of legs before looking like nestling in the bottom corner only for Jenkins to make an outstanding reaction save and push the ball behind for a corner. The half time message was clear from the home side’s coach; Newcastle were still in the game and the next goal would be the key. Four minutes later that goal arrived, unfortunately for the team in blue it went Leeds’ yet again way. The second goal seemed to evaporate any belief that had been reinvigorated by the half time break and Newcastle never looked like taking anything from the game from then on. In fact, the only effort of note for the hosts in the entire second half fell to left winger Claudia Wilson. A strong surging run from central midfielder Myriam Neaimeh opened up the Leeds defence for the first time. The ball eventually found its way back to Wilson in space
By Calum Wilson at Cochrane Park Cochrane Park had been a happy hunting ground for Newcastle Women 1s so far this season as they recorded 11-1 and 2-1 wins in the opening two weeks of the season, but their home form ran out last Wednesday following a comprehensive 5-0 defeat at the hands of Leeds Beckett Carnegie who themselves now leapfrog Newcastle in BUCS Northern league 2B. The fixture took a long time to take off. In the first few encounters both sides seemed slow and lethargic with the ball gifting possession to and fro. Newcastle in particular were lacking in inspiration as the first fifteen minutes raced by without incident. The hosts struggled to get their main attacking threat, Esme Richards, into the match at all. The first meaningful attack of the half came from Leeds, catching the Newcastle defense off guard as they tried to press high up the pitch. Newcastle’s goalkeeper Holly Jenkins was on hand to remedy the situation; managing to clear the ball away and relieve the pressure, the first of many fruitful enterprises from the Geordie keeper Both sides chose to field a 4-3-3 formation and in a packed centre of the pitch, it was the Leeds’ trio who dominated physically. Their game plan was to win the ball in midfield and play it over the top for one of their three forwards
on the edge of the box, but her ambitious effort from 25 yards was always heading safely over the Leeds crossbar. Newcastle made a tactical switch, reverting to a 4-4-2 with Justine Lee coming in from the right to try and help support the alienated Richards up front, a partnership that had worked well three weeks prior at home to Sheffield Hallam. The battling Yorkshire side never allowed the forwards a sniff all afternoon and deservedly earned a clean sheet. The match was then put to bed with three goals in seven minutes. Perhaps the best of all, the third on seventy-five minutes involved a neat link up between the visiting forwards. A perfectly timed pass and move allowed the substitute striker to get in behind for a one on one with Jenkins, the striker this time getting the better of the brave keeper, to make it 3-0 and game over. Moments later, the same forward then found herself in again, slotting home with great composure for the second time in as many minutes. The fifth and final nail in the coffin will possibly be the most disappointing for the Newcastle coach. A routine corner from the right hand side lofted high and deep, headed in with ease at the far post. Newcastle’s girls will no doubt be looking to put this defeat behind them as soon as possible and focus on their double header away at Durham in the BUCS league and cup. They will surely be hoping to emulate the performances of the opening few weeks as they seek to go into the Christmas break in a strong position.
Newcastle failed to extend their undefeated home streak to seven Photography by Calum Wilson
Thundercats get Barca-lawyered to shreds on more than one occasion and they were unlucky not to get an early lead, saved only by some scrappy last ditch defending in the penalty area. However, scrappy is an appropriate description for the first goal. After the ball was crossed in, an impromptu game of pinball insued around the area before Ian Howard poked the ball into the net, past the flailing arms of the goalkeeper. Barca-Law-Na began to press their advantage and came close to scoring on a number of occasions but often lacked that clinical final ball. However, what was most noticeable was the intense pressure the forwards of Barca-Law-Na put on the defence of the Thundercats. This pressure would soon tell when a mix up between the Thundercat’s keeper and his centre back handed the ball to Sam Black who
Intramural Football Barca-Law-Na
6
Thundercats
1
By Stuart Ward at Longbenton A cold and bleak Wednesday was lit up at Longbenton sports ground by a scintillating display from Barca-Law-Na. While the Thundercats had brief flashes of decent play, Barca-Law-Na’s dominance and determination handed them a well-deserved win. The first half displayed themes that would be consistent throughout the rest of the game. Barca-Law-Na’s quick passing cut the Thundercats’ defence
couldn’t have asked for an easier assist for his first goal. The midfield was the battleground of this match, with strong challenges being traded by each side. Yet, once again, Barca-Law-Na’s desire and determination saw them come out victors in the majority of the contested situations. The second half started in similar fashion to the first half; high pressing by Barca-Law-Na with pinpoint passing and movement down the right wing. The third goal was well deserved. A quick spread of the play out to the left wing, sharp passing before a clinical finish into the bottom right corner from Neo Kardiakapolous. This was shortly followed up by what can only be described as a screamer. Alex Fox cut down the right wing before cutting back inside on his left foot and smashing in
a piledriver (with his weaker foot) into the top corner. It was this piece of class that seemed to finally wake Thundercats up from their half time cat-nap. A few good saves from Barca-Law-Na’s keeper delayed them for a while yet a goal eventually occurred, with a long ball being excellently controlled and finished into the bottom corner by Luke Shaw (no relation we’re assured). Could there be a fightback? The mind moves back to the infamous 4-4 draw between Newcastle and Arsenal. While Barca-Law-Na still retained dominance in the midfield, with the wingers bursting forward seemingly at will, Thundercats had begun to pose more of a threat. They came close to a second when a shot across goal painfully missed both the back of the net
and the outstretched foot of the striker sliding in. However, this represented the last the Thundercats had to offer as the fifth goal summed up Barca-Law-Na’s performance that day. Quick one-twos down the wing, a precision cross and Black could hardly believe his luck for his second goal of the game. 5-1 was a generous score line for Thundercats as it could’ve been so much worse for them if it hadn’t been for a heroic double save by their keeper, keeping outtwo well struck low shots. A corner and a powerful header gave Black a well-deserved hat-trick to round off a fine performance from the league leaders. They extend their unbeaten streak to six games now and it is clear to all that this team will take some catching as they make a charge for promotion.
League Tables
League Details Start Date - 8 October 2014 End Date - 12 June 2015
Wednesday 11-‐a-‐side Football Division 1
Division 2
Team
Pld
W
D
L
GF
GA
Pts
1
Boca Seniors
6
6
0
0
17
8
18
2
Dyslexic Untied
5
4
0
1
16
8
12
Division 4
Division31 Division
Team
Pld
W
D
L
GF
GA
Pts
1
Barca-Law-Na
6
6
0
0
24
8
18
2
Aftermath FC
6
3
2
1
24
10
11
Team
Pld
W
D
L
GF
GA
Pts
Team
Pld
W
D
L
GF
GA
1
Fc Twente Bag
5
4
1
0
15
6
13
1
Boca Tooniors
5
5
0
0
19
9
Pts 15
2
KFC
5
4
0
1
19
10
12
2
Jesmond Tutu FC.
6
4
1
1
14
8
13 10
3
Newcastle Medics 2nds
5
3
0
2
13
6
9
3
Roman Vila
4
2
0
2
11
10
6
3
Agrics FC
6
2
2
2
15
14
8
3
Archletico Madrid
6
3
1
2
28
17
4
S.S. Ladzio
6
3
0
3
9
8
9
4
Thundercats
5
2
0
3
11
12
6
4
Borussia MöQFKHQÁ DSMDFN
6
2
1
3
18
14
7
4
2[ERZ /DNHUV
6
2
2
2
15
16
8
5
Henderson Hall
6
1
2
3
9
18
5
5
Sons of Pitches
4
1
2
1
12
12
5
5
Jesmondinho FC
5
2
0
3
11
15
6
5
&RPELQHG +RQRXUV
5
1
1
3
10
13
4
6
Newcastle Medics 1sts
5
0
1
4
9
17
1
6
Castle Leazes
4
0
1
3
4
14
1
6
%XFNPLQVWHU )XOOHUHQH
5
1
1
4
12
21
4
6
5RGDOOHJD %RPEV
5
0
2
3
13
21
2
7
Ecosoccer
5
0
1
4
6
14
1
7
Politic Thistle FC
5
0
1
4
4
24
1
7
:H 1HHG 7R 7DON $ERXW . .
5
1
1
3
10
20
4
7
Hangover 96
5
0
1
4
5
20
1
The Courier
sportbucs.39
Monday 24 November 2014
Karters race to historic success Karting By Rob Langthorp at Whilton Mill Through the fog in the early hours of Saturday morning, Newcastle’s team of eight karters from the Motorsport Society made their way down the A1 to Whilton Mill, Northamptonshire, aiming to qualify two teams to the British Universities Karting Championship (BUKC) for the first time in their history. By the end of the day they had not only been able to qualify two teams to the BUKC but come back with four top ten finishes including their first race victory in four years. The schedule for the qualifier was for the four drivers on each team to take part in a practice/qualifying session and two sprint races (36 drivers in each) with the best six out of eight race results for the A and B teams counting towards their points tallies at the end of the day. In a risky strategy to qualify both A and B teams, selection was split in order to have experienced drivers on both teams giving them the best chance of qualification. The top 26 out of 45 teams would qualify. With the noise and tension levels rising dramatically in the Northamptonshire countryside racing began as each of the four drivers on the A and B teams took part in practice and qualifying sessions. Despite BUKC debutant James DeHavillande coming a superb 4th for the B team, the general consensus from
qualifying was one of disappointment with the majority of the two team’s drivers feeling they did not get a clear lap due to yellow flags or traffic. By the time the first sprint races were underway, the qualifying sessions had been long forgotten. After starring in qualifying, James DeHavillande went on to win his sprint race which after the initial battle at the front was cut short due to another team illegally running their driver underweight. As he crossed the line, the victory was that was thoroughly enjoyed on the side of the track by his cheering teammates as he had led Newcastle to a historical victory. This race set the tone for the rest of the first round of races; Dan Chalk (11th), and Alex Jobson (7th) from the A team and Rob Langthorp (10th) from the B team - all gaining significantly on their qualifying positions to put both teams in strong positions ahead of the second round of sprint races. After a successful first round of sprint races, both teams had plenty of good work to build on. However, all the drivers knew that a couple of mistakes could cost both teams qualification. The second round began much the same as the first with James DeHavillande in a race long fight with last year’s champions Coventry A, taking a second place. By the time darkness started to fall, the drivers knew they needed a safe set of results to bring both teams home in qualifying positions. After a spin and a dubious penalty in his first race, Jake Cook recovered well in his second race
James DeHavillande (in the kart) surrounded by his teammates Photography by Rob Langthorp
to gain places and finish 16th. Toby Warren, and debutants Amir Taufik and Reece Matthews also contributed well to an all round solid team effort. All that was left now was the nailbiting wait for the positions to be an-
nounced from 45th upwards. As the 27th position was announced without any mention of Newcastle University, all drivers punched the air with joy. The A team came in 23rd place and the B team followed home closely in 24th. Af-
ter a 21-hour round trip, coming home with two qualified teams and a race win, Newcastle’s karting team definitely had a day to remember.
'HOLULRXV 2ZOV ¿ QDOO\ UHMRLFH LQ WULXPSK Men’s Rugby League Newcastle 2nds
22
Leeds Trinity 1sts
16
By George Clarke at Cochrane Park Second team captain Jack Summerfreeze was reported to be crying with pride into his bedsheets following last week’s victory over Lancaster in the cup. The win was the first BUCS game the Owls 2nd XIII had won since the spring of 2013.
A second win on the bounce seemed impossible considering last season’s 98-6 loss against Leeds Trinity who were this week’s guests at Cochrane Park. Leeds Trinity were first to score as their loose forward passed the ball twelve metres forward for their centre to go in for the first try. NURL were quick to respond as the hardworking front row duo of Conor Ellison and Harry Coop earned Newcastle essential yardage. Bradley Von Schlid cut through the defence well to score and Roy Schofield duly converted. What Trinity lacked in UCAS points they made up for in tribal tattoos and dirty tactics as swinging arms, flying
headbutts and projectile saliva were thrown at the Owls. Schofield and Summerfreeze rallied the troops. Cheered on by NURL’s infamous die-hard core of ‘Ultraz’, medical student Ben Adams
Prop Max Penn then scored as he dodged, ducked, dipped, dived and dodged through the Trinity defence to touch down under the sticks. Schofield converted on the stroke of half time.
made a careful incision into a disorganised Trinity defensive belly like a routine appendectomy. A cross-field kick from Schofield found the safe hands of winger Kris Whittaker to score on the fifth tackle.
Trinity scored early into the second half but full back Ben Norris was getting NURL into the right positions with some outstanding kick returns. Norris chimed in to the line to set Von Schlid up for his brace.
NURL 2s captain Jack Summerfreeze: “We scored more than them so it was good because that means we won”
As the minutes ticked by, Leeds seemingly fluked their way back into the game through their ginger full-back as he bumbled over the line to score. It was a case of too little too late as the Owls swooped to victory, being named as ‘Smirnoff Ice’s Team of the Week’ (other alchopop brands are available). Captain Summerfreeze commented post match that: “We scored more than them so it was good because that means we won”. Another victory for the Owls means the BUCS points keep rolling in, much to the delight of AU Officer Caleb Jones. Huddersfield are up next at Close House where fans are expected to flock to see another NURL victory.
Electrifying celebrations marked Newcastle’s first win of the season Photography by George Clarke
Sport
www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 24 November 2014 Issue 1301 Free
thecourieronline.co.uk/sport
Sports Editors: Peter Georgiev, Jonty Mawer & Huezin Lim Online Sports Editor: Josh Nicholson courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Sport
Newcastle 4-8 Northumbria
Saunders and Torkington (left) earned Newcastle’s first win of the day after a tight tiebreak Photography by Alex Hendley
Newcastle get served by Poly By Alex Hendley at Northumberland Tennis Club Newcastle University battled hard and impressed under the rain at the Northumberland Club tennis courts. However, they could not stop a dominant Northumbria University team who gained a reasonably comfortable win against their bitter rivals, a pill Newcastle may find hard to swallow. Newcastle had nothing to be ashamed of on an afternoon where a superior side was pushed all the way under the floodlights. The four rubbers gained against their enemies can be considered a scalp, as Northumbria look set to battle it out with Durham for the Northern 3B league title. The afternoon began with the doubles matches taking place as Newcastle’s Corey Chan and Nick Corless took on Phil Dutch and Sean Gilpin while on the other court Tom Saunders and Mike Torkington faced Northumbria’s Sam Archer and Ollie Hindle. In the former match, it was clear that Northumbria had the height, and therefore the reach, in what they tried to make a battle of power. Chan and Corless looked good on their serve and that was where they troubled the tall Northumbrians the most. Unfortunately, the ball kept returning to the Newcastle players with almost the same force as they had sent it with. Northumbria got their break reasonably early on and took the match to 4-2. From here, there was little doubt about the outcome of the first set as Chan’s serves started to become less accurate and Gilpin and Dutch were able to exploit his inconsistency to close it at 6-2. The second set was less of a contest
as the rain started to fall the courts became more slippy and mistakes started to creep into Newcastle’s game. Northumbria never looked troubled as they steamed to a second set victory of 6-1 lead by the truly impressive Gilpin. The first match of the afternoon had gone in straight sets to the away side though both teams were extremely familiar with their surroundings in West Jesmond. On the other side of the court, the game pitting Saunders and Torkington against Archer and Hindle was still raging on with Newcastle having taken the first set 6-2 but the second set was stuck in a battle of wits. At this point, the clouds had held their breath for long
ing two rubbers for the scoreline and having the personal satisfaction of victory to boot. With a win each under their belts, it would be down to the singles matches to decide the outcome of the day of tennis, as Torkington took on Gilpin, Chan faced Archer, Saunders played Dutch and a different Newcastle player Sam Egan battled it out with Hindle. Back outside in the cold and damp, the players were turning up the heat with hard serves and fast paced exchanged at the nets, with great technical ability on show from both sides. The game between Mike Torkington and Sean Gilpin was the first to be decided as the latter,
“Despite the tiredness and the rain, some scintillating serves and lobs were on show and by this point the majority of both teams were free to watch the epic play out”
enough and conspired against the afternoon of entertainment by unleashing a torrent of downpour forcing the players inside. The doubles match continued while the singles matches waited for the rain to pass. The transition indoors did not aid the flow of Torkington and his teammate Tom Saunders as Northumbria won the second set 4-6 in what was becoming a tense affair. Saunders seemed aggravated by his side’s inability to kill the game off when they were ahead. Both he and Torkington, however, turned up the volume in the final set which, to save time, was played as a tie break. The two Newcastle men impressed as they thundered to 10-7 tak-
who had shone in his doubles match earlier in the afternoon, put away the Newcastle contender 2-6, 1-6. Gilpin was Northumbria’s outstanding performer of the day looking calm and collected throughout the two matches he was involved in. The next game to come to a close was that between Chan and Archer and this was a much closer affair. Despite losing 4-6, 4-6, Corey Chan expressed after the game how pleased he was with his performance and classed it as a great improvement compared to that which he put in against Durham two weeks ago. Archer was in fine form that afternoon so his victory was no surprise, however, Newcastle can be pleased with how far
they pushed him in the lashing rain despite not getting any more points on the board. Penultimately, a hard fought match between Egan and Hindle was won 2-6, 6-1, 4-6 by the man from Northumbria University. Nonetheless, the stunning second set victory was emphatic and dynamic on Egan’s part as the energetic and tenacious Hindle had a slip in form. After the game, Northumbria’s coach suggested that the result of that game was down to mentality and will as both players seemed tired and made mistakes that they were visibly angered with. However, the fatigue in that match was nothing compared to the longest lasting game of the afternoon which came between Saunders and Dutch. It was an even game that, unfortunately for Dutch, did not particularly reflect on the scoreboard with Newcastle winning 6-2, 6-4 though in reality the difference between them was minimal. With plenty of frustration and mistakes, the game seemed to last an age though was perhaps the most entertaining of the day. Despite the tiredness and the rain, some scintillating serves and lobs were on show and by this point the majority of both teams were free to watch the epic play-out. Any frustration Saunders was showing should be excused as his performance on Wednesday was almost perfect, racking up two wins and helping to contribute all four of Newcastle’s rubbers on the scoreline. With the Northern Conference Cup scheduled for next week, Newcastle travel to Silksworth Health Centre to take on Leeds Beckett University 3rd while Wednesday’s rivals Northumbria face the University of Liverpool in the same competition.
P.36 BATTLE OF THE FINALS
P.39 OWLS WIN FIRST GAME IN 18 MONTHS