Courier 1299

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 10 November 2014 Issue 1299 Free

The Independent Voice of Newcastle Students

SOFA SO GOOD Plan your daytime telly schedule p.29

CAMPUS CHIC

Street style from under the arches p. 16

Est 1948

FUN POLICE How to avoid getting your

house party shut down p. 14

Get your cox out: Boat club launches nude calendars p.5

Fossil fuels, arms dealers and tobacco: Uni and Union investments revealed Uni invested £7,884,807 in oil and gas over 2 years

By Charlie Dearnley News Editor

Both Newcastle University and Newcastle Students’ Union continue to invest large sums of money each year in oil and gas companies, whilst the Union invests in tobacco, and the University invests in arms manufacturers.

In 2012 Newcastle University invested £3,597,961 in fossil fuel companies, including the BG Group, BP Global, and Royal Dutch Shell. In 2013 Newcastle University no longer invested in the BG Group, but their total investments in oil and gas increased to £4,286,846, showing a 19% increase.

Newcastle University also invests in BAE Systems, a multinational defence, security and aerospace company. It is among one of the world’s largest defence contractors, and is one of the six largest suppliers to the US Department of Defence. Other countries that BAE systems deal with include the United Kingdom, Australia, India and Saudi Arabia.

In 2012 Newcastle University invested

£1,031,544 in BAE Systems, and in 2013 this figure rose to £1,050,986.

In 2008, 95% of BAE Systems’ total sales were associated with the military.

The company produces various military aircraft, including Typhoon fighters, and Tornado fighter-bombers, both frontline aircraft of the RAF. They also produce many military land vehicles

NUSU invests in oil, gas and tobacco

currently stands, 3.9% of the Charishare Fund is invested in the BG Group, and 8.1% is invested in Royal Dutch Shell.

The BG Group is an international exploration and Liquid Natural Gas company, active across 24 countries. By 2017 they will be the largest contracted supplier to China, and they are currently the largest supplier to the United States.

Uni has invested over £2m in BAE Systems since 2012

tory. The unfortunate accident claimed 11 lives.

Aside from investing in oil and gas, 6% of the Charishare Common Investment Fund is invested in British American Tobacco, the fourth-highest proportion in the portfolio.

Newcastle University has recently been recognised as a team of scien-

Green campaigners: “Serious and persistent environmental damage is identified as contrary to the University’s value systems, and any investments in companies guilty of this must be reconsidered” and armaments.

Each year the main source of funding for the Students’ Union comes in a block grant from Newcastle University, but there is also a second income from investments.

The Union currently has its investments in two schemes both managed by BlackRock. In one of these schemes, the BlackRock Charishare Common Investment Fund, 12.9% of the invested funds are put into oil and gas companies. As it

Royal Dutch Shell was the second largest company in the world in terms of revenue as of July 2013 and is one of the six oil and gas ‘supermajors’.

BP Global is a company focused on oil and gas exploration, providing fuel, lubricants, and petrochemicals. BP is also one of the six oil and gas ‘supermajors’, and was famously responsible for the Deepwater Horizon oil spill in 2011, which is widely considered to be the largest accidental marine oil spill in his-

tists working within the institution made considerable ground in the fight against breast cancer. They discovered that ‘turning off ’ two proteins greatly reduces the ability of breast cancer cells to survive and grow. This is hoped to be a step towards finding a method of preventing the return of tumours after treatment.

British American Tobacco is one of the world’s five largest tobacco companies, its four largest selling brands being

Lucky Strike, Dunhill, Kent, and Pall Mall.

Without investing in BlackRock’s packages involving oil and gas, the Students’ Union can not get a worthwhile return on their investments, and they are unable to directly manage the portfolios of the funds they invest in.

A statement from Fossil Free Newcastle, a student group campaigning on environmental issues, said: “It simply does not make sense, morally and financially, to invest in companies that are destroying our future. The combined carbon reserves of fossil fuel companies is five times the amount that could possibly be absorbed by our planet.

“In Newcastle University’s own Socially Responsible Investment Policy, ‘serious and persistent environmental damage’ is identified as contrary to the University’s value systems, and any investments in companies guilty of this must be reconsidered.”

Glasgow University recently made headlines when it divested all funds from fossil fuel companies.

2

News

Monday 10 November 2014

News Editors: Charlie Dearnley, Antonia Velikova and Kate Dewey Online News Editor: Mark Sleightholm courier.news@ncl.ac.uk | @TheCourier_News

thecourieronline.co.uk/news

NEWS Computer problems persist with phishing scam and Trojan virus

COMMENT

9 CULTURE

In

WHY OH WHY-FI

- Kurt Vonnegut

STRIKE OUT

Education

Is it fair to use students as a bargaining chip?

Mathggravation

13 18 31

LET’S GET A DONKEY Why a house pet will ruin your life

A GCSE student fed up with Maths has made his feelings known by posting the following note on the door of his teacher’s office: “I hate math tests because all through the chapter it’s like really easy and then you think you’ve got it and then the test is like…If I throw a triangle out of the car and the car is going 20km/h and wind resistance is a thing that exists, how many cupcakes can PeElembis

BEAUTY TUTORIAL How to do smoky eyes, whatever your skin tone

Tenzinx3

Ed Howe

Hole lot of trouble

A man in northern Switzerland has found a donkey in a whole lot of trouble. Urs Meyer found a donkey stuck down a drain while walking his dog near Pratteln. He initially thought it was a stuffed toy until it started moving its ears. It is thought the man hole cover was removed and the donkey simply fell down. Firefighters took over an hour to carefully remove the animal, which has been returned to its farmer.

The Courier is a weekly newspaper produced by students, for students. It’s never too late to get involved in the paper, whether you’re a writer, illustrator or photographer. Email editor. union@ncl.ac.uk for more information.

Bites not bruises

A first year student from Nottingham Trent University woke up after Halloween with what his friends thought looked like severe brusing from a fight, however they couldn’t have been further from the truth. In actual fact, Matt Stainton succeeded in a challenge to get over 50 love bites in one night. Matt explained how “easy” it was: saying how he simply went up to people at a party on Friday night, explained the challenge, and “asked if they’d be happy to help”.

Poor politicians

Common cents

NUSU, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940

Lifestyle

Politics

Economics

A newsreader for America’s CNBC was genuinely surprised yesterday to learn that not only is Ireland’s currency the Euro, not the Pound, but it’s also not a part of the UK. CNBC’s Joe Kernen was interviewing Martin Shanahan, the chief executive of Irish foreign investment. He then became more flustered when he learnt that Northern Ireland and Scotland do use the Pound - and that Ireland has been a separate country from the UK for nearly 100 years.

Lifestyle

Sleeping naked

Nature

GAMERGATE

Every terrible thing that’s happened

Free will wee

A recent study has shown that people needing to urinate are less like to believe in free will. Other things that may detract from one’s belief in free will are a desire to have sex, and a need to sleep. This theory stems from a type of psychology called embodied cognition, which explores how our bodies alter our view of the world around us.

ix

5 7

“We have to be continually jumping off cliffs, and developing our wings on the way

Beliefs

m

Uni reminds staff of possible pay sanctions

e h t

Wise words:

MARKING BOYCOTT

The Courier

Mara

With Lady Gardener recently becoming the Liberal Democrat Whip, The Mirror newspaper took a look at other politicians with unfortunate titles. In America, Randy Baumgardner is Colorado’s state senator, meanwhile Young Boozer is in charge of Alabama. But my personal favourite is New Hampshire’s Dick Swett. Meanwhile, back at home, Mark Reckless has recently hit headlines after making a reckless move from the Tories to UKIP.

Editor Tom Nicholson News Editors Charlie Dearnley, Antonia Velikova, Kate Dewey and Mark Sleightholm Comment Editors Victoria Armstrong, Matt Corden and Ruth Davis Culture Editor Kate Bennett Lifestyle Editors Tom Tibble, Annie Lord, Jack Dempsey and Holly Suttle Fashion Editors Amy O’Rourke, Hannah Fitton and Hannah Goldstein Beauty Editors Charlotte Davies, Charlotte Maxwell and Kathy Davidson Arts Editors Becka Crawshaw, Lucy Chenery and Jess Harman Film Editors David Leighton, Rosie Bellini and Lucas Fothergill Music Editors Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly and Chris Addison TV Editor Helen Daly, Ellie Mclaren and Rebecca Dooley Gaming Editors Sophie Baines and Ben Tyrer Science Editors Penny Polson, Laura Staniforth and Jack Marley Sports Editors Jonty Mawer, Peter Georgiev, Huezin Lim and Josh Nicholson

Nude women advertising coffins has upset the Catholic Church. Polish casket makers Lindner devised a unique way to brighten up their gloomy creations by advertising them with sexy nude women. However, the Catholic Church has fought back against the move, with a church spokesman claiming that human death should be treated with solemnity and not mixed up with sex. But bosses at the casket company said: “A coffin shouldn’t be a sacred object - it’s the last bed you’ll ever sleep in - it isn’t a religious symbol”

Lifestyle

Hot wheels

A man from London has revved his Lambourghini so hard that it burst into flames. The exhaust spat out flames as he revved the engine and set light to the back of the £300,000 Lamborghini Aventador. After trying to put the fire out with a rag, he decided to drive off to try and douse the fire, narrowly avoiding crashing into a taxi.

Damian Morys

The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s comment pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

The Courier

news.3

Monday 10 November 2014

DocYOUmentary Films in focus

By Sima Nikolaeva Two Newcastle University graduates have established their own filming company, DocYOUmentary Films, and it has now been running for over a year.

Craig Hawkes and Vikas Kapil’s mission is to understand life as a set of short and long stories. The small detail of “YOU” in the company name has been introduced intentionally as their pledge to reveal and tell those stories, hidden behind ideas, people and stories.

Today docYOUmentary Films is a North East based company, which produces eight to ten project per month some of them are quite extensive and some more straighforward. “We can get three projects in a week as opposed to having nothing in following weeks”, Craig says about their current routine.

Taking a stand against the idea of freelancing always being somewhat chaotic, he adds: “I can already be filming for the second project whereas Vikas is doing postproduction for the first one as these are two parts of the same thing that don’t have to be connected, so most of the time we have more than one project going on and can easily manage our time quite efficiently.”

At this early stage, docYOUmentary places the greatest importance on production of promotional films about entrepreneurs from around the North East. However, the films they make are not promotional in the traditional

weddings, documentaries for charity events and “documemo” – biographical films about people, willing to pass their knowledge or memories to their families. “As a start-up we can’t just go and capture the whole market at one stroke,

sense: “Whereas a lot of the companies advertise the product or service, we want to do a documentary with the entrepreneur being the centre of the narrative”, the docYOUmentary founders said.

Although it seems quite obvious, it is not often when one can actually see an entrepreneur advertising themselves rather than their business. “But that is exactly who we – docYOUmentary - want to advertise”, Craig argues. According to him, a unique image built upon an entrepreneur’s own personality wins half the battle in business. “After all, customers tend to feel more connected if they see the boss behind the product or service they can relate to on emotional levels” Vikas adds.

The company’s scope of production also includes video invitations for

so that is why we are focusing on promotional films about entrepreneurs at the moment. However we might carry on marketing of our other products later on,” Vikas explained.

At the moment, docYOUmentary are working on a project aimed at “docYOUmenting” the experiences of the international students at University. They are also working on a venture called Stand-Up Marketing run by the marketing guru John McRae. John amalgamates the elements of stand-up comedy with a marketing lecture, to give a performance which is entertaining as well as informative at the same time. Vikas and Craig are in the process of making a docYOUmentary about John, depicting his passion for what he does.

Today, both of the docYOUmentary founders agree that their education was

“We are profoundly interested in being a part of Newcastle’s creative circle”

IN FOCUS: Craig Hawkes and Vikas Kapil, DocYOUmentary Films.

their prime incentive to come up with their idea and make it come to life. “The whole idea has generated from where we came from,” Craig said.

Having done completely different courses in university, Craig and Vikas met on a common module and eventually became good friends. Towards the end of their university education, Craig and Vikas decided to bring their passion and skills into action by setting up their own business. Given Vikas’ background in Business Administration and degree in Creative Writing, and Craig’s background in Fine Arts, and degree in Film Studies, a creative filmmaking business seemed to be the most viable option for both of them.

“Back in India I did my MA in Business Administration, and that is actually what gave me the confidence to stay in the creative field as I realized that I can make for living doing something creative but also profitable as I have Business experience and know how the things work,” Vikas said.

However, for both Craig and Vikas, filming – or, rather docYOUmenting – is not confined by the frames of the business assignments: “If there is an event organised by a local artist we are always there and many times we are ac-

tually filming these events not just for the business purposes but because we are profoundly interested in being a part of Newcastle’s creative circle” Vikas stated.

Regarding their future plans, Vikas mentions a probability of expansion to the Indian film markets next year, while Craig touches upon their intent to licence the docYOUmentary brand to other parts of the UK. At the moment, there is no active framework established to connect creative people and creative services across the UK, so docYOUmentary are hoping to look into this as well.

Vikas and Craig expect the next few years to be very evenful: “Businesses around the North East are now blooming and there are many opportunities here: everyday we see new start-ups popping up that are definitely very well supported by various governmental schemes,“ Vikas explained.

Newcastle has given a home to many innovative people, and with “this kind of support and with the enthusiasm that we can easily see in the local market, we think that Newcastle, and the North East in general, is going to get a big room bigger,“ the young entrepreneurs claimed optimistically.

Images: DocYOUmentary

4.news

Monday 10 November 2014

The Courier

Pop-up newsroom project focusses on food

By Mark Sleightholm Online News Editor

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Food filled Twitter feeds on Saturday as student journalists from across the globe took part in the latest Pop-Up News event.

Newcastle students joined forces with students from the US, India, China and Lebanon to report on local and global “The project issues relating to challenges food. The journalestablished ists used the time newsroom- difference between based them to provide 24journalistic hour coverage from conventions.” around the world.

The project aimed to demonstrate how journalists can use social media to spread news quickly and easily, and to provide an interactive element to the news. Far from sitting behind a desk in a TV studio or typing out an article in an office, the Pop-Up News journalists be recorded and uploaded their content via smartphones.

David Baines, senior lecturer in Journalism at Newcastle University and one of the co-ordinators of the project, said: “The project challenges established newsroom-based journalistic conventions and [uses] social media to report from within rather than about a community.”

Baines developed the scheme along with colleagues in California and India in 2013, with previous international Pop-Up projects exploring poverty and International Women’s Day. This time the topic is food, and the social, political and economic issues relating to it

around the world.

“There are lots of different things [about food] that can be explored, things you have have to think about and research,” explained Baines.

Tweeting news may seem restrictive, limiting the journalists to just 140 characters. However, Baines pointed out that when these tweets were combined, as on the Pop-Up website, they formed a much larger story.

One of the students involved with the project is Media, Communication and Cultural Studies undergraduate, and Courier News Editor, Antonia Velikova.

She said: “Pop-Up News is a wonderful opportunity for all budding journalists who want to perfect their multimedia skills. It’s mostly for MA students but I asked to get involved just because I was curious and it wasn’t a problem.

“Everyone works as a team and the people involved are extremely dedicated to producing the best content.”

Although the project was run primarily by around 200 students from across the four countries, anybody was able to contribute, creating a genuinely worldwide conversation. According to Baines the aim of the Pop-Up Newsroom is to “move journalism out of the newsroom... and open up spaces to host conversations”.

Baines pointed out that the nature of journalism is changing, and industry experts are very interested in the PopUp Newsroom scheme. This means that as well as providing student journalists with an excellent opportunity to develop their skills, the project is helping the media industry to innovate and explore new methods of communication.

Researchers find genetic link to kidney stones

By Josie Melvin

The latest research from academics at Newcastle and Harvard universities has found that there is a specific genetic mutation in 15% of kidney stone cases when it was previously thought genetics caused 1%. This could mean in the future, patients’ relatives can be identified as high risk groups for developing the stones; leading to a further prevention of this arduous, recurrent condition.

Kidney stones are a serious and painful condition. They can cause severe infection, and further lead to impairment in the function of kidneys. Nearly everyone who suffers from kidney stones will have them again in later life, and will therefore lead to progressive damage of the vital organs.

Current treatments for the condition include invasive surgical options. One of the methods of treatments is Extracorporeal Shock Wave Lithotripsy (ESWL), an extremely uncomfortable treatment which sends shock waves of energy to the kidney stone(s) to break

“This study can ‘hopefully intervene to prevent this very painful and serious condition’”

it into smaller pieces. Another option is open surgery, which places the patient at health risks such as infection.

Dr John Sayer, consultant nephrologist at Newcastle’s Institute of Genetic Medicine, and his team conducted research titled ‘Fourteen Monogenic Genes Account for 15% of Nephrolithiasis/Nephrocalcinosis’ and published in the Journal of The American Society of Nephrology. The study consisted of 272 patients from 268 families with either kidney stones (Nephrolithiasis) or a condition related to it where calcium is deposited in the substance of the kidneys (Nephrocalcinosis). Results found: “50 likely causative mutations in 14 of the 30 analyzed genes, leading to a molecular [genetic] diagnosis in 14.9% of all cases”.

This research can be used to help improve medical treatments for kidney stones, by providing evidence showing a significantly higher percentage of kidney stone patients caused by their genetics than previously thought. This could therefore lead to a raised awareness of the genetic component to the condition, progressing to further studies on the issue and potentially more efficient treatments. Not only would this help advance our understanding of the condition, but also improve the lives affected, as Dr Sayer states that this study can: “hopefully intervene to prevent this very painful and serious condition”.

The Courier

news.5

Monday 10 November 2014

Strip tide: rowers get kit off for charity

By Tom Nicholson Editor

Members of both the men’s and women’s boat clubs have stripped off for charity calendars in aid of Prostate Cancer UK and Breast Cancer UK respectively.

The men’s calendar launches on Wednesday 12 November, with the women’s being launched the following day. Both will be available online, on campus, at halls and in the city centre for “We were £7.99 each.

Rosie Rust, a sec- all lined up ond year Economics along the student who features river bank in the women’s calendar, said: “I was a bit naked and nervous but we’re all a jogger friends so we got over ran past” the nakedness pretty quickly. It was actually quite good fun.

We’re all in it together and it’s for a good cause.

“The only awkward bit was when we were all lined up along the river bank naked and a jogger ran past.”

Tom Ford, who is studying for an MA in International Marketing, said: “It was really fun to make. We’re all pretty close anyway, so it was nothing new.

“It was pretty awkward, especially when there were families watching, and men playing with their belly buttons.

“I’m really excited to see the final product and how well it goes down.”

Will Anslow-Wilson, a second year Geography student, agreed: “We’re really excited, it’s the first time we’ve been part of a photoshoot and a project like this so we couldn’t wait to get involved.

“We quickly got over any awkwardness, and as well as being a bit nippy we had really good conditions on the Tyne.

There were a couple of people watching from the banks and from Newburn Bridge whilst we were shooting on the water.”

“We’re nervous and excited at the same time because we hope our students and the public like our calendars and we look forward to seeing their response to them. We’re slightly embarrassed as we could have got in better shape for the photoshoot. Next year, though!”

The photos themselves were taken by boat club members Ed Munno, Sarah Spencer-Guidera, Nicole Lamb and Harriet Reed.

Naked calendars have become increasingly popular with sports clubs all over the country as a widespread way to collect money for charity. The Warwick rowers are releasing their third one this year, even after their photos were banned from social media last year.

To order online, go to www.newcastlerowing.com.

Uni reminds striking staff of pay sanctions

By Tom Nicholson Editor On 4 November the University reminded staff that they face pay sanctions if they decide to join the University and College Union (UCU) assessment and marking strike over proposed changes to staff pension schemes which began Thursday 6 November.

Lesley Braiden, Academic Registrar, said in a statement emailed to all students: “Any industrial action which is intended to have a serious impact on students is highly regrettable, and the University will make every effort to ensure it does not adversely affect the stu-

dent experience.

“The University has developed comprehensive plans, regulations and procedures to minimise the possible negative impact on students during an assessment and marking boycott. Our aim is to ensure that, wherever possible, students’ work will be set and marked.

“Contingency plans are currently being discussed, and once we understand the extent of likely action, detailed further information will be communicated to all students through a number of channels, including by email, on the website and via the Students’ Union. In the meantime students should continue to attend all classes and complete and submit assignments as normal.”

The exact nature of these contingency plans is not yet officially known, but they are likely to include provision for external markers to be brought in to ensure the January exam period “The university is unaffected should the reserves the strike conright to withtinue for that hold pay from long.

Staff are members of striking over staff if they proposed participate” changes to the Universit ies Superannuation Scheme (USS) which the NUS says will mean “significantly

reduced benefits for those in the scheme as well as for any future staff ”.

The changes have been brought on by the fact that the USS is run at a deficit which in 2011 totalled £2.9bn, but is believed to have risen to as much as £8bn since then.

USS trustees have therefore said that they are required by law to ensure that they can meet their liabilities, and propose a recovery plan should a deficit present itself.

As a result, employers and the USS board of trustees have proposed a range of measures to reduce the deficit, including closing the final salary section to current members.

Braiden continued: “At present, it is

not known how many members of staff will decide to participate in this action, and it is hoped that many staff will decide to continue to work normally.

“The University reserves the right to withhold pay from members of staff if they participate in an assessment boycott or refuse to carry out any other of their contractual duties, as part of this industrial action, as they would be in breach of their contract of employment.

“The University has agreed that any funds arising from withholding of pay from staff who choose to take action will be used to support the student experience.”

6.news

Monday 10 November 2014

The Courier

Bike peddlers wheel profits to charity

By Charlotte Houldsworth

ON YER BIKE: A variety of the bikes UniCycles has for sale. Image: Chris Stephens.

Enactus has started a new initiative enabling students to avoid the long winter walks into University and in the process, donate to charity. The society has launched their own bike sale scheme titled UniCycles.

UniCycles was set up purely by chance when earlier in the year, one of Enactus’ advisors got chatting Katy, an employee “Every bit to The Margaret Carey of money of Foundation (MCF). received They talked about they both did, ultigoes to what leading to a concharity” mately versation about Enactus and all of the social enterprise projects they run in Africa and in Newcastle.

MCF sources bicycles and wheelchairs that are no longer in use and sets up workshops where prisoners clean, adjust and repair them. The pair discussed the possibility of the Enactus society selling some of their bikes to raise money for their charity and they agreed to begin a project together.

Chris Stephens, Project Manager for UniCycles said: “As we were in need of some bikes for our projects in Africa to help a community get their bananas to market…it appeared to be a relationship that could work”.

After several discussions with the people from MCF, including an unexpected glitch in which Chris was informed MCF could no longer provide the bikes, it was eventually decided that Enactus

were to receive 30 bikes.

Chris told the Courier: “the price range has started at just £30 for a standard mountain bike, and up to £90 for a full on road bike. We have everything in between including ladies bikes, vintage bikes and hybrid bikes.”

The popularity of UniCycles has been outstanding so far, with 17 bikes being sold in 3 days.

The refurbished bikes are being sold from someone’s house in West Jesmond as property services were unable to provide them with more professional storage facilities. Chris stated: “we are still currently trying to get hold of something better” and improve the service.

The attractive prices of the bikes will certainly be a pulling factor for those students considering buying one. Another factor which will no doubt encourage buyers is that every bit of money received for the bikes goes to charity.

The majority of the money raised will be donated to MCF whilst the rest of it will help fund the society and go towards the projects that they are working on.

Enactus aims to bring about change in order to build a brighter future both for everyone in the UK and the global community. The three international projects which the proceeds from UniCycles will go towards are: Beauty of Rwanda which works to rebuild the lives of women left in poverty after the genocide, their long-term project in Dufatanye designed to helping a deprived community, and their work in Wezesha aiding a poor rural society.

The Courier

news.7

Monday 10 November 2014

Silver surfers: OAPs get help on IT literacy

By Kate Dewey News Editor

Bridging the gap between students and the elderly community is SCAN’s recently launched initiative ‘IT on the move’. The scheme enables student volunteers to visit a community club run

by Age UK to help teach the elderly about the internet.

The project, which began in midOctober, sees students spend two hours a week between the hours of 1pm and 3pm aiding the elderly by showing them the uses of the internet. ‘IT on the move’ runs during both the autumn and spring semesters for six to eight weeks at a time. The scheme is not new to Newcastle but this year it has been able to improve after receiving University funding. Four years ago the Catherine Cookson foundation donated money to the cause, but due to the costs of the technology required to sustain the project, its future looked unstable. Receiving financial support from the University allowed SCAN to buy more devices so that they now own two laptops, two iPads, and wifi at the centre they visit in West Benton.

Liz Gulliver, SCAN Project Administrator, commented: “It’s a combination between teaching IT and befriending… showing [the elderly] what there is on the internet and unlocking its mysteries”. The club members are also taught about internet safety and are shown social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Skype and YouTube.

Andrew Dale, a third year Biomedical

Science student, and volunteer for the scheme said: “the fact that [IT on the move] involved teaching elderly people appealed as I had seen my own grandparents struggling to use a computer.

“I wanted to help people of a similar age “With this overcome their enthusiasm initial anxieties they now feel about the inter- FRQÀ GHQW WR net and learn shop online how to use it to their own ad- and video call distant vantage”.

Both Liz and family memAndrew agreed bers.” that Skype is one of the most appealing benefits of the internet for the elderly, allowing them to keep in contact with relatives and friends.

Andrew mentioned a conversation clash: “As many of the residents are female the conversation often turns to what cardigan is best to buy from Marks & Spencer’s… I dutifully show them how to access the website and nod with agreement whenever I am asked if I think that cardigan would look good”.

He continued: “I leave each week knowing that I have enthused someone who was initially scared to embrace new technology. With this enthusiasm they now feel confident to shop online and video call distant family members.”

So far the scheme has 20 volunteers and Liz encourages anyone interested to get in touch.

TECH SPEC: Student volunteers help the elderly to navigate the internet. Image: Liz Gulliver

Student Finance phishing email and second Trojan virus add to IT issues

Three grand does come for free: two students grab Amazon prize

By Yuwei Hu

WHY-OH-WHYFI?: Students despair over WiFi and spam issues. Image: Kate Dewey

By Joseph Middleton A phishing scam, posing as an email from the Student Loans Company was sent around the university email server last week.

In response to the e-mail, the IT Service has promptly issued advice and information for anyone who has received or opened it. Campus computers and personal machines have both succumbed to the attempted attacks. The IT Service team recommends that any computers thought to be compromised should be reported to the service desk for a complete rebuild while home computers that have been infected should be reset to factory defaults.

Ambiguously titled ‘Daily Report’, another message dated the 30th of October contained a Trojan disguised as a ZIP file attachment.

The IT Service admits: “Unfortunately there is no complete solution to the problem of ‘spam’. There is a fine balance

between incorrectly rejecting legitimate e-mails (known as false positives) and letting spam get through.”

To date, it is believed that 35 “The Service computers have been infected Desk will rebuilt to never ask for and remove any inyour password fection.

The IT SerRU À QDQFLDO vice reiterates: details” “The Service Desk will never ask for your password or financial details. Any message requesting this or other personal information is a scam and you should simply delete it.” This was in particular response to a recent phishing email posing to be from the Student Loans Company.

Subsequently, the IT Service temporarily installed a blanket-ban on any e-mails containing ZIP files (the origin of one of the original malicious messages) and the department now faces a backlog of genuine e-mails waiting to be

authenticated and sent, a process that is ongoing.

Continued efforts are needed to keep users safe and regular updates on recent attempted attacks or malicious content will be made available on the IT Service website.

In addition, students all over campus are plagued by problems with a slow WiFi connection. As Newcastle University accommodation handles over 4,500 concurrent users in peak times alone, students have reported that the current WiFi network is not meeting demand.

Slow speeds and disconnection have been reported as the most common connectivity-related problems.

This comes on the back of an intensive investment programme run by the university, designed to introduce an additional 2000 access points across the campus, the project is expected to be completed by the end of next year.

IT Service recommends a hard wired connection for the most reliable access to the network.

Emma Calkin and Richard Milligan have been announced as the lucky winners of the Amazon Student prize fund, both receiving £3,000.

Amazon acknowledges “When I got a that university can be an excall from an pensive time unrecognised and so Amazon Student is number, I a membership almost ignored scheme that it. Thankfully, I is targeted towards higher answered” education students in the UK. The prize fund has been set up with the intention of being spent on items that will aid students in their university life such as academic books, home comforts, sports equipment, travel, beauty products, and the latest in electronics and technology.

Amazon Student offers students six months of free one-day delivery service.

At the end of the trial students can sign up for £39 a year to Amazon Prime.

“Amazon Student aims to make life simpler for students by saving them time and money at a busy time of year and the prize fund has been designed to act as an additional helping hand,” commented Charlie Caroe, Amazon Student Manager at Amazon.co.uk Ltd. “From

purchasing a new laptop to stocking up the kitchen cupboards, Amazon Student ensures all students can get their shopping done quickly and easily so they can enjoy life on campus.”

Emma Calkin, a third year Archeology student, said of her win: “When I found out I had won I couldn’t believe it, I’ve never won anything like this before, it’s amazing! I’m not sure what I’ll spend the money on yet, though I have been wanting to travel Europe with my sister for some time so hopefully this will be our way to get there! Amazon Student has been so useful to me, especially with all of the books I need to have for my degree - and now of course because of this amazing prize!”

Richard Milligan, a recent Computer Science and Technology graduate, was equally delighted and said: “When I received a call from an unrecognised number, I thought it was another offer for work miles away where I couldn’t afford to live so I almost ignored it.

Thankfully, I answered the phone and it turns out I was £3,000 richer! Finally I can buy a new computer, as working with a temperamental one throughout my degree, especially as a Computer Science Student, proved quite tricky.

Amazon Student takes the stress out of online shopping, and I can safely say they have definitely taken some stress out of my life right now too.”

Additionally, they have also been given a Baileys Chocolat Luxe limited edition gold bottle as Christmas gifts.

Monday 10 November 2014

8.nationalstudentnews

The Courier

NEWSTACK

Cambridge alumnus arrested for murder Job  Title:  Remote  Blogger,  Recruitment  Consul-­ tancy  (Part-­Time)  Employer:  Aldrich  &  Company Closing  Date:  31/01/2015 Salary:  Competitive Basic  job  description:  Aldrich  and  Co  are  look-­ ing  for  a  creative  and  highly  literate  individual  to  produce  content  for  their  recently-­launched  blog  aimed  at  giving  insight  into  the  recruitment  con-­ sultancy  industry.  This  post  is  part-­time,  remote,  À H[LEOH DQG SDLG FRPSHWLWLYHO\ RQ WKH EDVLV RI content  delivered.  Commitment  would  vary,  on  average  a  couple  of  hours/1  blog  post  per  week.  ,W ZRXOG EH ZHOO VXLWHG WR D ¿ UVW RU VHFRQG \HDU undergraduate.

Person  Requirements:  We  are  looking  for  a  candidate  with  an  interest  in  the  recruitment  consultancy  and  HR  sector  that  is  highly  literate,  has  immaculate  spelling  and  grammar,  and  an  eye  for  detail.  You  must  have  demonstrable  H[SHULHQFH ZLWK ZULWLQJ HGLWLQJ RU FRPPXQLFDWLRQ in  any  form.

Location:  Remote  -­  work  from  home  or  univer-­ sity.

Job  Title:  Retail  Adviser  Employer:  Vodafone  Group  Plc Closing  Date:  15/11/2014 Salary:  Competitive  £8.58  per  hour Basic  job  description:  As  a  Vodafone  Retail  Ad-­ viser,  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll  be  working  for  one  of  the  top  ten  most  powerful  brands  in  the  world.  Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  all  about  con-­ necting  with  your  customer.  Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll  chat.  Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll  ask  TXHVWLRQV <RXÂśOO OLVWHQ $QG WKHQ \RXÂśOO H[SODLQ H[DFWO\ ZKDW SURGXFWV VHUYLFHV DQG WDULIIV DUH right  for  that  particular  person.  Plus,  of  course,  the  advantages  of  being  with  Vodafone  (luckily,  there  are  plenty  of  these).

Person  Requirements:  Personality  is  key.  You  need  to  be  the  sort  of  person  who  can  talk  to  DQ\RQH Âą DQG H[SODLQ HYHQ FRPSOLFDWHG WHFKQLFDO information  simply.  You  wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  need  to  be  a  phone  H[SHUW %XW \RX ZLOO QHHG WR EH D IDVW OHDUQHU ZLWK lots  of  enthusiasm  and  positivity.  You  just  want  to  get  better  and  better,  delighting  every  customer  DQG H[FHHGLQJ \RXU VDOHV WDUJHWV Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  Eldon  Square  Job  Title:  1HZFDVWOH :RUN ([SHULHQFH Âą 3KDU maceutical  Database  Management  Employer:  Aesica  Pharmaceuticals  Limited  Closing  Date:  17/11/2014 Salary:  £700  Bursary  Basic  job  description:  Aesica  is  a  leading  sup-­ plier  of  Active  Pharmaceutical  Ingredients  (APIs),  Formulations  and  Custom  Synthesis  solutions  to  the  global  pharmaceutical  and  biotechnology  industries.  An  opportunity  has  arisen  for  a  student  ZLWK D VFLHQWLÂż F FKHPLVWU\ EDFNJURXQG WR ZRUN on  a  database  management  project.  The  task  will  predominantly  include  data  cleansing  within  our  customer  relationship  management  system.  You  will  also  be  required  to  make  contact  with  customers  to  update  client  records  and  provide  information.

Person  Requirements:  We  are  searching  for  FDQGLGDWHV ZLWK D VFLHQWL¿ F FKHPLVWU\ EDFN JURXQG ZLWK H[FHOOHQW FRPPXQLFDWLRQ VNLOOV DQG telephone  manner.  We  also  require  a  candidate  who  can  plan  and  prioritise  and  demonstrate  their  organisational  skills.

Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne Job  Title:  Bar  Tender  Employer:  Jalou  Cocktail  Bar Closing  Date:  31/12/2014 Salary:  £6.70  Basic  job  description:  This  late  night  cocktail  EDU RIIHUV WKH SHUIHFW PL[ RI HVVHQWLDO QLJKWOLIH ingredients:  chic  and  understated  decor,  low  level  lighting,  talented  baristas  and  a  well-­ studied  cocktail  menu.  Staff  and  management  are  dedicated  to  the  art  of  quality  drink  making  with  a  knowledge  and  service  to  match.  During  weekends  infamous  DJs  liven  things  up  whilst  on  week  nights  eclectic  playlists  gently  sooth  the  after  work  crowds.

Person  Requirements:  Candidates  must  be  hardworking  and  reliable  with  a  passion  for  pro-­ YLGLQJ H[FHOOHQW FXVWRPHU VHUYLFH Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne Job  Title:  Conference  and  Events  Porter  Employer:  Royal  Station  Hotel  Closing  Date:  30/11/2014 Salary:  £6.50  -­  £7.00  per  hour  Basic  job  description:  We  are  looking  for  an  RXWJRLQJ Ă&#x20AC; H[LEOH DQG UHOLDEOH &RQIHUHQFH DQG

Events  Porter  at  the  Royal  Station  Hotel.  You  will  assist  the  conference  and  events  coordina-­ tors  with  all  aspects  of  front  house  and  confer-­ ence  requirements.  This  may  include  setting  up  conference  rooms,  delivering  refreshments  during  meetings,  delivering  room  service,  helping  with  luggage  and  other  general  Hotel  porter  duties.

Person  Requirements:  You  must  also  have  H[FHOOHQW SODQQLQJ WLPH PDQDJHPHQW DQG organisational  skills  in  addition  to  having  good  communication  skills.

Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne  Job  Title:  Care  Assistant  Employer:  Direct  Recruitment Closing  Date:  31/12/2014 Salary:  £6.50  -­  £9.00  per  hour  Basic  job  description:  Direct  Healthcare  XUJHQWO\ UHTXLUHV H[SHULHQFHG &DUH $VVLVWDQWV to  work  in  a  wide  range  of  community-­based  environments  in  Tyne  &  Wear.  This  includes  both  short  and  long-­term  contracts  as  well  as  ad  hoc  shifts.  You  can  be  offered  varied  shifts  that  are  DLPHG WR EH Ă&#x20AC; H[LEOH DURXQG RWKHU FRPPLWPHQWV you  have  such  as  childcare  or  part  time  jobs,  KRZHYHU \RX ZLOO QRUPDOO\ EH H[SHFWHG WR FRPPLW to  a  minimum  of  1  shift  per  week.

Person  Requirements:  <RX PXVW KDYH H[FHOOHQW communication  skills,  a  minimum  of  6  months  H[SHULHQFH LQ D IRUPDO FDUH VHWWLQJ ZLWKLQ WKH ODVW 4  years  and  be  caring  and  friendly.  Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne  Job  Title:  1HZFDVWOH :RUN ([SHULHQFH ¹ +5 3D\ Review  Employer:  Newcastle  University Closing  Date:  16/11/2014 Salary:  £700  Bursary  Basic  job  description:  We  plan  to  undertake  our  QH[W (TXDO 3D\ 5HYLHZ GXULQJ 7KLV SODFH ment  will  assist  the  HR  Manager,  with  responsi-­ bility  for  Reward  and  Diversity,  to  undertake  this  comprehensive  review.  The  placement  involves  liaising  with  key  internal  contacts  to  clarify  the  scope  of  the  Review  and  the  analyses  required,  data  gathering  and  cleaning  from  core  databases,  data  manipulation  and  statistical  analysis  to  identify  key  metrics.

Person  Requirements:  The  successful  can-­ didate  have  an  applied  mathematics/statistics  EDFNJURXQG VWURQJ DQDO\WLFDO VNLOOV H[FHOOHQW ,7 skills,  including  use  of  statistical  packages  and  an  interest  in  equality  issues  is  an  advantage.

Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne.

Job  Title:  Graphic  Designer  Employer:  Black  Swan  Analysis  Ltd  Closing  Date:  30/12/2014 Salary:  Competitive  Basic  job  description:  We  are  looking  for  a  graphic  designer  to  be  employed  part  time  for  a  paid  project.  The  main  responsibility  will  be  to  support  the  CEO  of  the  company  in  his  forthcom-­ ing  book  releases  which  requires  illustrations  and  graphic  design  work.  This  is  a  great  opportunity  IRU FXUUHQW RU JUDGXDWLQJ VWXGHQWV WR JDLQ H[SHUL ence  while  studying  and  to  produce  work  for  a  customer  from  the  real  business  environment.  Person  Requirements:  Student/graduate  graphic  designer  with  illustration  skills  who  is  pas-­ sionate,  creative,  innovative.  Location:  Tynemouth Job  Title:  1HZFDVWOH :RUN ([SHULHQFH ¹ 0DUNHW ing  Assistant  Employer:  Oil  Consultants  Closing  Date:  16/11/2014 Salary:  £700  Bursary  Basic  job  description:  We  are  seeking  a  Mar-­ keting  Assistant  to  support  and  work  alongside  the  Marketing  Manager  on  various  projects  including,  but  not  limited  to  content  creation,  social  media  management,  online  advertising  campaigns,  competitor  research,  report  creation  and  analytics.  The  key  aim  of  this  position  is  to  support  the  development  of  international  market-­ ing  campaigns  in  both  the  B2B  and  B2C  arenas  though  practical  support  and  the  creation  of  a  two  way  learning  environment.

Person  Requirements:  The  ideal  candidate  VKRXOG EH FRQ¿ GHQW D TXLFN OHDUQHU DQG DEOH to  work  with  minimal  supervision.  You  should  be  creative,  able  to  generate  ideas  and  be  willing  WR WUDQVIHU WKHVH WR H[LVWLQJ PHPEHUV RI WKH marketing  team,  whilst  learning  new  skills  and  approaches.  Location:  Washington,  Tyne  and  Wear

Rurik Jutting, a Cambridge University graduate, was arrested in Hong Kong having been suspected of the murder of two women. The former Secretary for the History Society (CLIO) was arrested after allegedly calling police in the early hours of Saturday morning. Two bodies were found in his apartment in Wan Chai district. The first body is thought to be that of Sumarti Ningsih, a 25-yearold woman from Indonesia, whilst the second body appears to be a 30-year-old woman from the Philippines. Police suspect that they have been dead for at least five days before being found. The Morning Post quoted police sources who alleged that photographs of Ms. Ningsih, taken after her death, had been found on Mr. Juttingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mobile phone. The Morning Post also reported that he was â&#x20AC;&#x153;dazedâ&#x20AC;? when arrested and unable to give a statement. Alison Humphreys, the current President of CLIO, said that the society: â&#x20AC;&#x153;does not keep any information about its previous committee members and is therefore unable to comment on the matterâ&#x20AC;?.

Google and Oxford announce partnership Google DeepMind and Oxford University have announced an Artificial Intelligence partnership. The Computer Science Department and the Engineering Department at Oxford University will share a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;substantial contributionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; by Google. In a post on its blog, Google did not reveal any financial details, but said that the partnership will include many benefits for students like opportunities for internships, joint lectures and workshops. According to Dark Blue Labs CEO Dr. Karl Moritz, the contribution made by Google DeepMind will create: â&#x20AC;&#x153;significant numbers of extra scholarships and funding to talented DPhil studentsâ&#x20AC;?. Google will offer a number of internships to students allowing them to: â&#x20AC;&#x153;receive practical experience with a worldleading companyâ&#x20AC;?. The full effects of the new partnership will not be immediate, but the Computer Science Department told Cherwell Press that they were excited about the partnership.

Durham launches prison exchange scheme On 29 October Durham University became the first in Europe to deliver criminology classes inside prisons to both students and offenders. The classes will take place inside HMP Durham and HMP Frankland, two high category prisons in Durham. Prisoners and criminology students from the School of Applied Social Sciences at Durham University will study together covering areas such as the causes of crime, the criminalisation of drugs and the question of whether prison works.

The initiative was originally developed at Temple University in Philadelphia in 1997. Professor Fiona Measham who is leading the initiative was quoted on the Durham University website: â&#x20AC;&#x153;We are really pleased to be working in partnership with HMP Durham and HMP Frankland to offer this unique opportunity to both our students at Durham and people serving custodial sentences.â&#x20AC;?

Sheffield follows capital in economic growth

Images: Andrew Dunn, John Illingworth, Paolo Margari, HMP Frankland

In the report published by The City Growth Commission this month, The University of Sheffield was named one of the leading universities outside of London helping to increase regional economic growth. City Growth Commission chairman, Jim Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Neill, told Forge Media: â&#x20AC;&#x153;While London dominates the UKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s economic clout, we have a wide geographical spread among our best universitiesâ&#x20AC;?. The University was praised for pioneering progressive practices that enhance economic impact, such as investing in the Advanced Manufacturing and Research Centre. Sir Keith Burnett, Vice-Chancellor of the University was also quoted in the ForgeToday article saying: â&#x20AC;&#x153;We are extremely fortunate that visionary work on advanced manufacturing is now not only a national but an international focusâ&#x20AC;?.

With living costs extremely high in London and the credentials of northern universities on a yearly rise, more and more students are instead opting for universities away from the capital.

Kotryna Kairyte

The Courier

.9

Monday 10 November 2014

Comment

thecourieronline.co.uk/comment

Comment Editors: Victoria Armstrong & Matt Corden Online Comment Editor: Ruth Davis courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Comment

Two strikes and they’re out Joe Tetlow

T

he news last week that the University and College Union (UCU) has voted to take industrial action came as very little surprise.

It was exactly a year ago that a dispute over pay increases led to a similar response. This time though, the issue making the headlines is the Universities Superannuation Scheme (USS), or put more simply, reforms to lecturers’ pensions.

As ever though, it’s students that are paying a price.

Tuesday’s notifying email, for those who read it, would no doubt have triggered an habitual and nonchalant acceptance. Like the insouciance of non-pyromaniacs to the recent fire service strikes, university students will have paid almost no attention. It’s not through lack of care, but an ignorance born out of powerlessness. Forced into reading it myself, a vague phantasmagoria did overcome me briefly. That of the coffee carrying academics of the Armstrong building; steaming, spectacled and scheming. There is something amusing about academics throwing tantrums; the intelligentsia of our land being told they are wrong and having to throw their toys out of the pram to get their way.

Unfortunately it’s not too funny if they’re the kids and we’re the toys. All this throwing has, as intended, shone the spotlight on the main protagonist in this drama; pensions.

Something as precious as pensions is worth getting worked up about, or not working at all about, as the case for lecturers may be. And to sit here and harang the haranguers over their retirement fund may be a little rich. After all, what leverage do they have other than to withdraw their labour?

We should at least be thankful they are not walking out altogether. The debated 8 billion deficit in the USS appears to be a serious hole that needs plugging, but you can understand the affected staff ’s objections to proposals like making higher contributions and not receiving final salary pensions. It is reported that they could be hit by up to

What others think...

“If I’m paying £9000 and the lecturers are being paid from this money, they really should be able to manage marking a few papers...

Emma Armstrong

Rename MensBar? Bloody hell, I’ll need some trebles first

The campaign to rename the Union bar is both a waste RI WLPH DQG D UHÀ HFWLRQ RQ the dire lack of apostrophe knowledge on campus

27%, leading to a fall in living standards and bigger questions about what should be rewarded in our society. Lecturers will feel underpaid and undervalued, hurting students like us as much as anyone.

This leads to a certain ambivalence about the situation. The lecturers we respect and entrust have voted in force (a record 45% turnout) and decisively (87% in favour) to reject reforms to their pensions and call for a boycott short of walkouts.

These are people who work hard to help students reach their potential, in tandem with furthering their academic fields, whether it be climate change, drug resistance or archaeology to name a few. We shouldn’t instinctively turn against them purely because we now pay a higher rate for our further education.

The issue is very complex and no-one is a winner in this game. To look at it structurally, there

“It’s inherently hard to support their cause when we are the tool with which they are bargaining”

remains the concept of us paying twice, the question of our generation funding their salaries and pensions. How can we be expected to support something which will only delay the cost to us in the future? Equally there is a perception amongst some students that academics get overpaid for the job they do. The average salary of £47, 170 for all Newcastle full-time academic staff in 2011-12 would suggest, to some at least, that they are rewarded sufficiently. In terms of value, each student experience differs, so there are bound to be different reactions. But the fact that negotiations were ongoing when the vote was held shows a proclivity to strike and calls into question their level of care for pupils.

Despite a degree of understanding and sympathy, it’s inherently hard to support their cause when we are the tool with which they are bargaining, the hostage in the crisis. The potential for disruption does remain huge, with UCU members taking ‘continuous action short of a strike’. This means coursework and exams will go un-set and unmarked unless the dispute can be resolved. Of course the University has contingencies to avoid adversely affecting ‘student experience’, whatever they think that phrase might constitute, but the risk is still there. All this points to a gradual breakdown of the student-staff relationship. As mentioned before, there is a sense of powerlessness and perhaps even a perception of betrayal. We should be natural allies, but the increased fees have driven a gulf between us. Not only have we been brutally kicked off a cliff by the mighty Cleggster, the lecturers have sabotaged our parachutes and we’re now free falling our way to an overpriced gully of idiocy.

“Whilst exercising the basic democratic right to strike is entirely reasonable, doubts still exist over their effectiveness. Will striking lead to a curtailment of any planned pension changes?

Probably not. Will striking help to diminish the £8bn funding gap in the scheme? No.

George Lamb

Georgie Moule The Sabbatical officers have been mandated to look at potential new names for Mens Bar. The name can apparently be perceived as sexist – never mind the fact that if the bar did indeed belong to men, it would be Men’s Bar. Whilst I’d be surprised if the average student could tell you the meaning of ‘Mens Agitat Molem’ (which translates as mind over matter), the Latin motto that the name is derived from, I’d expect the general university population to have some sort of grasp of grammar.

Just in case we do see a name change, I took the liberty of canvasing friends for some potential new titles. Women’s Bar was a popular, if ironic idea, as

“Ultimately it’s complicated, and the lecturers have a very valid point - but I can’t imagine lecturers are getting students on cc side by disadvantaging them rather than explaining the problem and trying to encourage their academic allies...”

Victoria Armstrong was the slightly dystopian Humans’ Bar. The quality of names proposed at the library while sabb officers were sounding out alternatives was varied: Women’s Bar came up several times, as did the Gender Equality Bar, but aside from that there were half-hearted riffs on the city’s river (‘The Mouth of the Tyne’, which isn’t even geographically accurate), a couple of pops at linking it to the uni crest (‘Lion Bar’, ‘The Lion’s Den’, ‘Rory’s’, etc, etc, zzzz) and one brave soul who suggested ‘The Bryan Ferry Food and Drinks Dispensary Lounge’. A bold move, but one which will perhaps struggle to gain traction.

Really though, offense is something taken, not given. It seems ridiculous that anybody would take offence at the name of a bar, but rather than changing the name and paying to change all the signage, maybe the Union should try and make students more aware of the origins of the original name.

“It’s important that lecturers get the opportunity to strike. Whilst it might impact on lectures and marking in the short term, I think that they should have the cc opportunity to strike on a point they feel so strongly about - it’s something I would want to do if I was in their position.”

Cal Redhead

10.comment

SOAP BOX

Monday 10 November 2014

The Courier

The price of free coffee An independent coffee shop closure proves we should do more to support diversity on the high street

FEMINIST TOPS I was innocently browsing the web when I was affronted with an image than incited mild rage. It was Benedict Cumberbatch of Sherlock Holmes fame, looking smugly into the camera, proudly wearing a T-shirt displaying the words: ‘This is what a feminist looks like’. As he points to this ‘progressive’ message, all I see is a load gratuitous self-congratulatory twaddle.

And sadly, there’s more where that came from; Elle magazine has images aplenty of your favourite white male actors embracing the message of ‘feminism’ in all its depoliticised glory.

Feminism is a movement that goes beyond agreeing to some vague notion of equality, and having the primary benefactors of systematic inequality as the face of feminism is not progressive in the slightest. I feel like this is nothing more than an attempt to dispel the traditional image of the angry, hairy feminist in order to make it marketable. How long will it be before we see these T-shirts in shops?

The commercialisation and sanitation of the movement only serves to weaken its goals.

Leigh McDougle

NOT A CAUSE During my near daily trip to the local Premier for some delicious nicotine, I happened across the front page of The Sun - it made my insides churn and I was a little repulsed.

Granted, it is probably my fault for glancing at The Sun – like Icarus, I got too close and was immediately singed like so much overdone KFC. A cracking great headline on the front page read ‘The Only Way Is ISIS’, and proceeded to spread the glorious news that a 14 year old girl who is, coincidentally, a fan of TOWIE, had left England to join ISIS with her ‘tot’.

This trend of correlating facts to determine causation is not a crime that just The Sun or The Daily Mail are guilty of: only two weeks ago The Guardian released a similar story.

A boy killed his girlfriend, also he watched Dexter – is this related? 11 times out of 10 the answer is no. It would be grand if the papers could piss off with this reductive, sensationalist tripe and just stick to the facts.

Image: Allan Ajifo @ Flickr

Ciara Loughrey

Y

ou might be saddened to hear that Central Bean Coffee Shop in Jesmond is closing; on the other hand, you might be tempted to respond ‘Central what?’

Since it is a small chain of only three stores, it is quite likely that you have never had a drink made by the company. Rumour has it that the closure is due to their inability to compete with Waitrose (who I am guessing you will have heard of), and students taking up their offer of free hot drinks to customers on a daily basis.

“The tyranny of large businesses is a huge threat to smaller chains” The tyranny of large businesses is a huge threat to small, locally owned chains; Waitrose has the financial means to give away freebies, whilst Central Bean does not. This makes it easy for the larger businesses to lure customers to their stores, who do not have the means to offer the same level of freebies. As students, we are most definitely guilty of

choosing to take advantage of free coffee of a lesser quality for the sake of our purse strings.

However, this has a dramatic impact on the diversity of the high street, with many of the small chains being forced to close as a result of ever decreasing profits.

If this continues, the inevitable result will be the exact same shops in every city. Already there is a loss as variation evident in visiting a new city, because more often than not, it features mostly the same shops as is your hometown.

Walking down a street in a new place is becoming the same as walking down a street in any other place you have been - mostly well known shop names louring down at you for the majority, and a brave few smaller independent places just holding their ground.

Surely no one wants to live in the homogenised society we are becoming? The local business owners are losing out too, with profits falling and their livelihoods often at stake, whilst the multi-national companies can boast huge salaries for their CEOs and minimum wages for their frontline staff. Don’t be fooled into thinking Waitrose cares about you individually just because they offer you a free drink; they do not, they care about their profit margins.

Another major problem is the expansion of the supermarkets into literally every avenue they can think of (Tesco placing Giraffe restaurants in their

larger stores anyone?) The supermarkets should stick to what they do best -selling groceries and other necessities at reasonable prices- and leave the dedicated coffee shops, restaurants, pharmacies and other businesses to take care of the other matters.

Instead, they are in danger of failing in their main function, and what then? There will be no one left to supply the needs of the consumers when the supermarkets fall into decline if they have already wiped all their competitors off the stage.

The small businesses who actually care about what they do, as well as their staff and the customers who patronise them, are in danger of being destroyed by big business.

“Surely no one wants to live in the homogenised society we are becoming?”

We need to support them instead of the huge conglomerates, even if it might cost us a bit more in the short term; in the long term, it will almost certainly benefit both society, and also us individually, because no one wants to live in a world without choice, competition and variety. Or at least I know I don’t.

David Leighton

HEATING It’s that time of year again. The days are short, and dark... and cold. Warm jumpers are tentatively pulled out of the backs of wardrobes, and walking into town for a night out is no longer an option. On waking to frosty mornings, we all question why we chose a university so far north, when the entire south was also an option.

Suddenly, housemates are unable to meet each other’s eyes, each dreading the question which they know is coming, and which never has an answer that suits everybody. A brave soul might bring it up, nervously, a surge of fear mounting as the all too necessary words emerge from their lips – ‘shall we put the heating on?’

If only the answer could be a simple affirmative. But it rarely is. Matters of different budgets, sensitivities of the cold, time spent in the house and brute stubbornness contribute to this being a difficult issue to solve. And hence ensues the battle which will set the tone for the remainder of the winter months, as we try (and often fail) to ensure our houses no do become colder than the outside world.

Ruth Davis

Emily Davies

The Courier

Monday 10 November 2014

Just the TTIP of the privatisation iceberg

A proposed trade deal between the EU and USA strikes at the very heart of what makes the NHS great, and would turn a cherished social enterprise into a commercial litigation-­fest

Daniel Barrett

C

ampaigners have branded it as the threat to democracy that will finally and irreversibly privatise the NHS. If you have never heard of the Transatlantic Trade & Investment Partnership (TTIP) then you are not alone, details are being kept firmly under wraps; even MEPs cannot access the negotiations.

TTIP is a proposed trade agreement between the EU and USA with the aim of reducing import taxes and removing barriers to transatlantic trade, making it easier and less expensive for European companies to sell and invest in the US and vice versa.

Controversy arises however when you appreciate what ‘removing trade barriers’ actually means.

The EU imposes strict regulations, adopting the principle that any substance used in cosmetics or food must be proved to be safe before use. However, US guidelines are often somewhat less strict; anything may be assumed safe until proven otherwise. The agreement requires ‘harmonisation’ of these regulations but how this will be achieved and the resulting impact on consumer safety are both unclear as negotiations are being conducted in secret.

It is the impact upon the NHS which is likely to prove the most controversial aspect of the agreement. TTIP promises multinational companies equal rights to bid for contracts in the UK, entitling large American firms to bid to take over NHS services; companies whose raison d’être, let’s remember, is to maximise profits rather than protect the health of British people. The government has refused to explicitly exempt the NHS from TTIP, saying it is unnecessary as public services will not be subject to the terms of the agreement. Recent

Tory led reforms opened the NHS up to private health care companies by allowing them to compete with the public sector for NHS contracts, thereby effectively transforming a social enterprise into a commercial one. Consequently, opponents of the deal have warned that the NHS cannot be considered beyond the reach of TTIP. The plans deal a further blow to those hoping a future government could renationalise the NHS. Under such circumstances private health firms would be entitled to sue British taxpayers for anticipated loss of profits as TTIP provides a means for corporations to bypass national laws and utilise secret arbitration hearings. Essentially, this gives businesses the right to sue governments for any change of policy which may negatively affect their profits.

It is not difficult to imagine how this may prevent policy changes, even if they were public health measures, for example banning junk food advertising to children. Leaving aside the obvious implications for democracy when elected governments

can effectively be held hostage by multinational corporations, this would surely lead to an exponential growth of law firms analysing every policy to find reasons to sue and potentially land the taxpayer with bills totalling hundreds of millions of dollars. Think all the ‘no win, no fee’ ads are annoying now? Just wait until it is us they are suing.

The UK’s representative has dismissed criticism of the deal as anti-American and anti-business prejudice. Whilst many may be angry at what they view as politicians playing footloose with democracy and the health service in order to line the pockets of their friends in the city, it is a genuine fear for the future of the NHS that will worry most people.

The NHS is universally cherished with surveys consistently citing it as the number one source of pride for British people and yet it appears more vulnerable now than at any time in its history. If the NHS is the closest thing the British have to a religion then TTIP might just prove to be the devil.

Image: moneysoldiers @ Flickr

Great Scott, or not The Western media are obsessing over the fact that Zambia’s temporary Vice-­President just happens to be a white man

Lucy Howarth

T

he Zambian President, Michael Sata, has recently died after concealing his terminal illness from the public. The country is said to be in mourning. He was a hardworking governor, a populist man of action, who impressively rose to political power after a diverse career – including time in the police, a railway man and, rather bizarrely, a taxidermist.

“The minds of the Zambian people are on the possible candidates, not their skin colour”

Unfortunately, the death of this interesting public figure has been overshadowed by the temporary rule of his second in command, Guy Scott. Who just so happens to have skin of the white variety.

I just want to reiterate the word ‘temporary’ in the context of this position. He is in office for 90 days until a leader is elected. He is not running for

office. The minds of the Zambian people are on the possible candidates, not the skin colour of their interim President. Sadly, the same cannot be said for western media.

“The strange post-colonial post-apartheid mind frame of those in the West”

Guy Scott, who is of Scottish decent, is a third generation citizen of the country. He was elected to his post of Vice President in 2011, and then stated “I have long suspected Zambia is moving from a postcolonial to a cosmopolitan condition.” There is obvious progress here into a world where one’s skin colour does not overshadow one’s politics. Or at least, a desire to see a world where this is the case.

Apparently, the West have failed to grasp what those in Zambia managed to grasp 3 years ago. It is probably indicative of a strange post-colonial postapartheid mind frame of those in the West.

That, and the media obsession with appearance, which was recently seen with the Renee Zellweger scandal (How dare her face change!) Sadly, this media obsession with appearance is one we are all too familiar with.

I would like to take a moment to focus on the man’s politics, if I may. He is an economist who was educated at Cambridge. He became agricultural minister in 1990 and oversaw the recovery from a shattering drought two years later. He joined Sata’s Patriotic front in 2001 and became Vice President in 2011. He has been on the Zambian political scene for quite some time, and no one seemed to notice his skin colour then. His rise to power shows, quite wonderfully, how the world is moving towards a cosmopolitan community where one might gain an education from another country, but can share what they have learnt with their own country on a different continent.

Whilst there is obvious progress, the fact that he

“The strange post-colonial post-apartheid mind frame of those in the West”

cannot stand for office does hold this advancement back. As does the ‘progressive’ West’s attention to skin colour. I suppose it just shows you can’t expect too much progression too fast. Especially when the western media are involved.

comment.11 The

Voice of

Wisdom

H

eyo boys and girls, Steve Holt here. Update: bi-daily gym trip finished, lectures attended (mostly), and no work for dissertation done. All in all, a standard day. Been reading up a bit on this ‘Dapper’ chap and to be quite honest – I ain’t quite getting the fuss, not gonna lie.

For those of you who don’t know who I’m on about, he’s this lad whose a bit of a big internet honcho called Dapper Laughs, with all these funny vines. Now he’s got this new hit show on ITV2 called Dapper Laughs: On The Pull, which you all simply have to watch. It’s all a bit of a laugh really – he takes these guys who just ain’t got God’s natural gift with women, and gives them up a bit of a sprucing up, his way, teaching them about ‘being a geezer’.

I can’t really say that the super-orange look works for all of the boys, but at least he’s putting them on the right track. I mean, how can a lad who doesn’t put any effort into his appearance expect to make a good impression? Hence my gym attendance – feel good, look good (for you and for the fairer gender).

“Chicks dig overt displays of masculine power which make them feel uncomfortable in public”

His chat up lines, shouted at unsuspecting women as they attempt to navigate the knobstacle course which constitutes most high streets in Britain, of “You’re moist” and “She knows!” are both hilarious and devastatingly effective. Confidence is what it’s all about boys: few girls can turn down a lad with a cheeky smile and a bit of swagger. Or, failing that, having the piss taken out of them in the street. Chicks really dig overt displays of masculine power which make them feel uncomfortable in public.

“Farage is the subtly racist politician’s subtly racist politician”

Apparently, Cardiff University’s Student Union has voted to ban his comedy show from their premises, which really just seems like overkill.

It’s all just banter – a few jokes about banging fat mums and mildly sexist situations aren’t really meant to be taken in context. It’s just a few femiNazis and socialists going mad. Plus, who can really argue with the basic point of if you don’t want to hear it, stop watching. Pretty fundamental, an idiot would get it. I don’t wanna head Girls Aloud or any other crap girlband on my stereo so guess what? I don’t listen to it. B.a.s.i.c.

In particular people appear to have been freaking out over his jokes about having a large dick. If he does, fair play to him, if he doesn’t, still freedom of expression isn’t it? I mean people have a problem with him but then not one with ol’ Nigey Farage, the subtly racist politician’s subtly racist politician.

Gotta wonder about people’s priorities man. He’s got about 1.6 million Facebook followers too, so obviously some people dig what he’s saying – people just have too much time on their hands.

Anyway, rant over. Apologies for getting all topical and news-y guys, I’ll keep it totes more chill for next time. Gotta look out for the other brothers – bros before hoes, or rather in this case bros before femi-Nazis. Catch yas at TigerTiger, ta.

STEVE HOLT

As overheard by Victoria Armstrong Illustration by Lewis Bedford

12.lifestyle

Monday 10 November 2014

The Courier

Lifestyle Editors: Jack Dempsey, Annie Lord, Holly Suttle & Tom Tibble

Charlotte Broomfield

B

The Student Relationship

eing a student isn’t always as easy as nonstudents seem to think it is. We can’t really afford to go out every night and we don’t miss most of our lectures to stay in bed with a pot noodle while binge watching television. Juggling university, a social life and enough sleep can be pretty challenging, so it’s not always easy to throw a relationship into the mix as well.

To make a relationship work as a student, you have to be the master of time management and be willing to make a few compromises. Skipping the odd lecture or leaving an assignment until the last minute just to spend time with a significant other may be a tempting idea, but you’ll soon regret it when it’s 3.30am and you’re only two hundred words in to that two thousand word essay due the same morning, or when you’re clueless before an exam because you missed too many lectures. Sacking off your studies to make a student couple work is never a good idea in the long run. Be considerate regarding your boyfriend or girlfriend’s timetable and they should be just as understanding when you have to spend more time getting that assignment done in return.

“You don’t want to be the annoying flatmate who never comes out because they’re with their boy/girlfriend”

Another obstacle in making a student relationship work is the dreaded decision that needs to be made on a regular basis: to have a night with your boyfriend or girlfriend or to go on a night out with your friends and flatmates? You don’t want to be the annoying flatmate who never comes out because they’re always with their boy/girlfriend, but you also don’t want to neglect your significant other to constantly spend time with your friends; it’s a real catch-22. The best you can do is attempt to find a balance and hope for the best — it’s a dilemma that anyone in a student couple knows all too well.

After reaching the conclusion that a night in having a film marathon with your boyfriend or girlfriend is the better idea for that night, you’ve then got the issue of staying at each other’s houses/ student accommodation. If you’re having a night in, the possibility of being woken up by the other’s drunken flatmates might not be ideal but there’s very little that you can do other than learn to be tolerant. If you’re living in a house with friends, they might get a bit pissed off if your boyfriend or girlfriend is constantly over, so always be considerate towards your flatmates or housemates.

“Your loans are meant to get YOU through uni, not fund your significant other”

Finally, one of the most crucial parts of making a student couple work is sticking to your budget.

Your loans are meant to get YOU through uni, not fund your significant other. Girls, don’t expect your boyfriend to pay for meals out and buy surprise gifts, if he’s a student then he probably can’t afford that too often. Splitting the bill and opting for cheap nights in rather than fancy nights out is the best way to make a relationship work as students.

Best friends or best pretend?

Louis Francis and Amy Macauley tackle whether being best friends with the opposite sex is worth the while or a label of denial

G

oing to an all-girls school for five years could have made my views on this drastically different. Believe me, I’ve witnessed the two hours of putting on makeup in the toilets, ‘just in case’ a guy miraculously began talking to you in town after school. Guys weren’t seen as friends, but as potential future boyfriends, and you simply couldn’t be the one caught looking a bit rough, almost like you’d been at school all day. A friendship between a heterosexual guy and a heterosexual girl was seen as ‘weird’, which it definitely shouldn’t have been.

“Just because you get on really well, this doesn’t have to lead to a sexual relationship”

girlfriends, I’ve had a serious boyfriend and it’s great to be able to just chill and be silly without any pressure. I also have really good male friends that I’ve never been attracted to, and have never been attracted to me.

Just because you get on really well, this doesn’t automatically have to lead to a sexual relationship.

In fact, these friends can also be useful in stopping you going for people who definitely aren’t right for you. Girls can usually spot a sneaky girl a mile off, and guys generally have a decent dickhead detector when it comes to other guys. It’s so refreshing to have a best friend who sometimes has a completely different point of v i e w to you; so go out there and don’t restrict your best friends to just one sex, you’ll definitely benefit from it.

O

kay, there is nothing wrong with men and women being friends. We’re not living in the 1950s, behind a rigid wall of gender segregation; we can have friends who aren’t the same sex as us, and it’s cool that we do. But - is there a but? There is a but so big Sir Mix-a-Lot is getting involved. It’s fine being friends with the opposite sex when one of you is already in a relationship, but if both of you are single, it is only a matter of time before someone thinks: “Hmm...”

The question is not can men and women be friends, but how long can they be friends before one, or both, start to consider the idea of becoming something more. There are many variations on how this happens: You both get a little too drunk. You break up with someone else and start looking around. Maybe you’re just lonely. You get the idea.

“Sex will always be the elephant in the room”

Firstly, having a best friend of the opposite sex is a brilliant opportunity to get a different view on a wide range of topics. My best friend Jack is usually great at telling me to stop stressing about really small things, which to him, just don’t matter.

He just says it to me straight rather than skirting round the issue with millions of possible different reasons, which my female friends can sometimes do. And, if I say so myself, I’m pretty good at decoding text messages from his girlfriend that appear to come out of nowhere and completely baffle him.

“Guys generally have a decent dickhead detector”

I’ve been best friends with my non-serious ex for five years. Once you’ve gotten past this then it’s surprisingly easy to have a platonic relationship, because you’ve given it a go, and realised that you’re much better off as friends. He’s had serious

Illustrated by Rowan Mills

Or, worse: one finds they are secretly attracted to the other, and thus begins the tragic – and very uncool – tale of unrequited love. Is it really only friendship, if one of you has other ideas?

Yes, there are exceptions. Sometimes, there is genuinely not a shred of attraction between either of you. If so? Awesome. You really can be just friends. That’s not easy, especially in the face of Hollywood and popular culture.

Whether it is Friends, How I Met Your Mother, or Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Porno there is a cultural message that men and women can’t just be friends. Because honestly, often we can’t. If there is attraction, sex will always be the elephant in the room.

And if there is some attraction, that doesn’t mean that you can’t be friends – remain friends – only that you’re never, really, ‘just’ friends.

Cheaters: who to be hacked off with Rebecca Harrison supplies a guide on where to lay the blame when it happens

“I

cheated on you” has got to be about the worst thing you can hear from your partner, even worse than, “I ate all the Ben & Jerry’s”. So how should you go about responding to it? Should you forgive them, forget them or set fire to them? Here are three common but terrible responses to betrayal which you should seek to avoid at all costs.

1

Blaming the other man/woman

3

Lying to yourself

Not everyone who cheats is beyond redemption, nor does the act of cheating necessarily mean a break up, but don’t lie to yourself about the state of your relationship. You have every right to go crazy and start throwing their clothes out the window, but after that weigh up why you do or don’t want to be with this person. Forgive, forget, or run out the door, but if you stay in the

relationship make sure you know the reason why. If it’s because you genuinely believe they made a mistake and you can bring yourself to forgive them, get back to the make up cuddles. But if it’s because it’s easier, safer and more comfortable than dealing with the problem, then get out of there.

So there you are, three things not to do after you’ve been cheated on. Also, hold back on applying to Jeremy Kyle. You’ll probably regret it.

It’s easy to swallow the slimy excuses of, “They came on to me”, “I was drunk and stupid” or “I thought that it was my bed” from your dearest. Although a hysterical sweep of the other girl or guy’s Facebook page in search of a hideous picture to send to your mates might make you feel better, you can easily fall into the trap of hating that person and not your partner.

It is much easier to blame the one they cheated with, because you have no relationship with that person (hopefully) and if you do, it’s often easier to hate a friend than a partner. While they should obviously not be absolved of blame, to focus on that is to ignore the bigger problem. The person that you love has betrayed your trust - that’s why you should be upset.

2

Instant forgiveness

I don’t know who would respond to, “I cheated on you”, with “That’s okay, don’t worry about it”, but forgiveness is too sudden whether it’s two seconds or two hours after. It’s too hard to get your thoughts together with the person that you’re furious with sitting two feet away. Go and see a friend, or even better, go and talk it out with yourself. Having a good think with some delicious comfort food will give you the distance and time to make the right decision, whether that’s staying with them to work it out, or singing ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together’ on their doorstep.

George Markomichelakis

The Courier

.13

Monday 10 November 2014

Culture

thecourieronline.co.uk/culture

The Date Hannah on Alex

Culture Editor: Kate Bennett Sections: Lifestyle, Fashion, Beauty, Arts, Music, Film, TV, Gaming and Science courier.culture@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierOnline

Hannah Goldstein, 3rd Year English Lit meets Matt Mawson, 2nd Year History

Where did you go on this particular date?

We started at the Charles Grey, had a single pint and then I was like, “Aren’t bars really shit?” and he was like, “Yeah!” So we decided to get some alcohol, go to a graveyard and drink there. But, it turned out all the graveyards were shut, so we walked around Jesmond for a bit and ended up in the Dene. And then from the Dene after we got too cold we started to realise it sucks because you can’t go to the bathroom, so we went to the outside hookah bit of Osborne’s.

What drinks did you get?

Started out classy with the pint each, and then quickly digressed to a bottle of wine and some Strongbow Black.

So where did you spend the majority of the date?

Probably the Dene and then also outside Osborne’s.

Alex on Hannah

Where did you and Hannah meet on the date?

At the pub in town near Monument. We had a drink there and then she was said, “Aw, why don’t we buy a bottle of wine and go to a graveyard,” so I said alright, whatever.

How was the graveyard?

Well when we got to the graveyard, the graveyard was shut, and then we ended up drinking in Jesmond Dene park on a bench.

What did you think upon first meeting with Hannah?

Pretty cool. Pretty hot.

What were the main areas of discussion?

Just completely random stuff I was absolutely smashed. I literally cannot remember. I got far too drunk. A lot about her work, The Courier, all that fun stuff.

Who ended up the drunkest?

We weren’t too bad. We finished the bottle of wine for sure. I’ll speak for myself, I don’t think I was too drunk.

So what kind of things did you talk about?

I’m not even mentioning.

Was Matt your ‘type’?

He probably wasn’t my ‘usual’ type no, that being said it was great because it did get comfortable quite quickly because I was rambling and I drank some fishbowl before I went.

Why? Well we just talked a lot about past relationships and stuff like that.

What kind of things did you talk about at Jesmond Dene?

I brought along my spinner game. It’s something my friend made out of a box but there isn’t a spinner so you have to close your eyes and the other person guides your finger and whatever it lands on you have to do, or answer, or whatever. Although some of them are impossible.

I heard you went to a guy’s house to use the toilet?

So she fucking needed the toilet in the park and rings up her friend, we ended up going to his house, she goes upstairs and I end up sat in the kitchen with this guy just like, “Alright.”

Why? Well we didn’t have a bong, so those ones were out. And we didn’t have a BB gun either, so we just re-rolled.

How would you describe Hannah?

She’s very outgoing, she doesn’t seem afraid to talk about sex and stuff like that. Definitely very confident.

What kind of activities did the spinner lead to then?

It forced us to have a kiss.

Did you want to [interviewer hip thrusts]?

I think there was something missing, I think she goes for very different guys to me. Maybe more quirky hippy type guys. I’m more straight-laced.

Was it a passionate kiss?

No. Where did you go after Jesmond Dene?

Well I have a friend who lives right by Jesmond Dene, and I also have a habit of drinking in Jesmond Dene, and when you drink in Jesmond Dene there’s no place to go to the bathroom, so I tend to just show up at his door to use his loo. So I did that, with my date.

Was she your type?

I dunno, I just like girls in general to be honest. Some asked me “What if she’s not hot?” and I was like, “She’s a girl, she’s probably gonna be hot.” I think the year made a big difference as well, she seemed a lot more mature than I was.

How did that go?

It was kind of awkward. He was in his sweatpants. I don’t think he was too pleased.

I hear she broke out the spinner, did that lead to anything?

Nah. I kissed her in the woods but it wasn’t like a proper kiss.

After your trip to the toilet, did you go anywhere else?

Then we went to Osborne’s and bought a hookah because he’d never had a hookah before and it was a night of firsts. Didn’t want to buy drinks so when the lady went away to do anything we’d chug our bottle of wine. We also got chatting about sex I think, sex definitely came up. From there we went home. I mean we started at 7.30 and by then it was like 12.

So it went from discussions about sex to you both just going home separately?

Well it wasn’t really about sex with each other.

How do you feel Matt could have done better on the date?

At first it felt a bit like question and answer. They were good questions but it just felt like it wasn’t leading anywhere. I think maybe he was just a bit uncomfortable. When we were a bit more drunk he started talking more freely, which he was a bit apologetic for but I was like thank you.

Did he start rambling?

I remember him saying that he’d be giving someone a really low rating and that he’d be really boring, so that was a bit awkward. And then also we talked a bit about last week’s Blind Date article, so that was a bit strange, that these people have already ‘read me’. I think there was a lot of banter in his house before he came, along the lines of, “She’s fucking crazy”.

Did romance blossom on this date?

Not really, and I think that goes both ways.

Looking for love? Send in your details to c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

Do you feel like you could have performed better on the date?

I think I could’ve relaxed a bit more, if I’d just ignored the whole ‘newspaper’ thing and loosened up I think it would’ve been a lot more fun.

Do you think could have done anything to make it better?

Nah, she pretty much directed the whole date, so it was pretty good.

Not many romantic vibes though?

I don’t think so.

Would you see her again?

I’d see her again yeah. Maybe see her around rather than specifically meet up. I was a bit surprised though that she was keen on ‘meeting someone’, she was talking about how in the past she used to sleep around or whatever but now she wants to settle down a bit more. I was like, “Fuck that.”

How would you rate Hannah?

I’d say a good 8, the whole date was pretty fun. Hanging out with a hot girl you can’t really complain. And if there’s nothing there you still can’t complain, it was a good night.

14.lifestyle

Monday 10 November 2014

The Courier

Lifestyle Editors: Jack Dempsey, Annie Lord, Holly Suttle and Tom Tibble Lifestyle Editors:

Rebecca Gregory Friend defending: How far is too far?

W

hat does it takes to break the BFF bond?

I’m sure we all have a friend whose moral compass is a tiny bit askew compared to everyone else. If you’re thinking you don’t, then that friend is probably you — sorry there. Maybe this person is a bit of a bitch, or maybe they’ve done some pretty questionable things in the past. Either way, as they are still your friend, it can be a bit tricky deciding how far is really too far. What would that person have to do to sever the sacred ties of friendship?

Scenario 1: They’re consistently spiteful or slightly aggressive.

Not ideal, but at least you’ve got solid back-up if some drunk nutter tries to start a fight with you.

Especially if the bitchiness is not generally being directed at you, then this sounds like a friendship that is going nowhere fast. The good outweighs the bad.

“No girl wants to talk to you after her mate got bumped and dumped by your friend last week” Scenario 2: It turns out they’re the worst flatmate ever You met on the same course and decided to live with each other come second year. Now you’re slowly realising you didn’t know this person much at all. They never wash their dishes, and by their dishes, I mean your dishes they borrowed without asking. They’re loud, messy, and seemingly oblivious to the fact they share a house with other people. But occasionally they’ll remind you why you became friends after all, they are hilarious, or full of friendly advice. Surely that means you can put up with all the other stuff ?

Scenario 3: Your friend is a big-time lothario/the female equivalent thereof At first you think it’s not so bad, so what if they’re a bit selfish when it comes to their sexual exploits?

It’s not something you condone, but you have to admit we all have a few downsides to our personalities. Well, this friendship may come back to haunt you when you’re trying to get some action of your own; the reputation of your friend proceeds you. No girl wants to talk to you after her mate got humped and dumped by your best friend last week. But, there’s plenty of fish in the sea, so we’ll let that slide, especially as they’re probably a great wingman/woman. Unless, this insatiable Casanova initiates a sordid affair with your other half, then I think we all agree that friendship is dead in the dust.

“Are the good times worth a prison sentence? Surely nobody’s that much of a laugh” Scenario 4: Murder This is definitely where we draw the line. Illegal, hints of underlying aggression, and a serious lack of self-control. Especially if they’re trying to get you involved to dispose of the evidence, maybe it’s worth reassessing the level of friendship between the two of you. Are the good times worth a prison sentence? Surely nobody’s that much of a laugh.

It seems to me, if you like them enough then you’ll put up with a lot, especially if that crap is not coming your way. You’ve even got to admit that sometimes having a friend who’s less than decent has its benefits, but we have to draw a line somewhere, don’t we?

How to not get your party shut down Benazir Parween gives us six top tips on how to avoid the long arm of the fun police

B

e it extravagant or simple, student lives are filled with all sorts of parties – some plain, some posh, some just plain weird. Counting down to that one weekend where you are going to be with all your dudes & dudettes. When it finally arrives, you are determined to have one amazing time! You deserve it too. Don’t fret. Here’s how not to get your house party shut down!

1 Bribery

Let’s call it ‘gifts’ instead. Just casually pamper your neighbours with sweets, drinks, Tesco coupons (that you almost never use), food over the week leading up to your party. You are so sweet that they will not have the heart to scream at you when you’re blasting that awful music.

“Bribe your neighbours with the Tesco coupons that you never use”

2

Invite thy neighbours Don’t you want to know how they get down and nasty after a couple of drinks?

Or listen to their dirty secrets? Absolute entertainment all night long! Record them and blackmail them for future parties. Would they really want their naked butt spilling embarrassing ‘Never Have I Ever…’ all over Facebook?

3

Fake it Pretend like there’s no party happening right behind you. Accuse them for hallucinating and be offended that they would think you are so inconsiderate.

Break down and cry and tell them how life has been so tough on you. Make them uncomfortable. Leave them to ponder about their own sanity.

“Record them and blackmail them for future parties”

4

Distractions Create a fake event, like a ‘Where’s Wally?’ hunt, and send the invites to the neighbours. If they are not around, they are not going to be disturbed by the party.

It makes complete sense. They will be so grateful. Besides it is such a fun game and the best part is that you won’t have to prepare anything.

Come on, who really finds Wally?

5

Kiss-and-Tell.

Just give o n e solid, sexy kiss.

Enchant them. Be nice and take one for the team, will you? Again, this would make a good blackmail and a great story to share with friends. Who knows, you might actually start

“Just give them one solid, sexy kiss” something real with them. It would make such a bizarre, sweet love-story.

6

Lock them up.

We saved the worst for the last. This would work best if you are never going to be in that place ever again – maybe on your last day at that accommodation. Throw an epic party and be remembered for it. If this pesky little neighbour is going to ruin that history, lock them up in your toilet. They can even use it. Don’t be mean and remember to provide good food and drinks too, and maybe a pillow for them.

Before situations get out of control and police are called, these handy tips should keep things in bay.

How else are you going to keep your party alive?

Keeping your noise level down? Not inviting your whole course? Going to a party-appropriate place like a bar? Informing your neighbours beforehand like decent human beings? Immediately turning down the atrociousness?

Ridiculous.

By the way, you are welcome.

Illustrations by Rowan Mills

Snapchattiquette In light of the multitude of leaked snaps of George Sampson’s plentiful package, Lauren Exell talks the ins and outs of Snapchatting

S

napchat – the ability to send any image you want, while resting assured that within 10 seconds it will (probably) never come back to haunt you. Or that’s what it started as, but with the advent of Snapchat stories and even text messaging, this once simple picture sharing app has become a social media of its own. Despite it being one of my favourite apps ever, there are some individuals that don’t seem to follow the essential, if unwritten, rules of Snapchat. I think it’s defi-

“Don’t take it too seriously, the more chins the better”

nitely time these need to be employed.

Let’s start with the basics, there really should be some guidelines between what’s appropriate for your Snapchat story and what really isn’t.

Something witty, funny and original - the most important thing is to be unique. We’re all smart and creative enough to get into this uni, but somehow the most inventive thing we can think to put on Snapchat is a 200 second story of the inside of a club. Selfies are also a big cause of concern on the Snapchat story – keep it personal if you must,

ideally save them for Instagram. However, there is one thing that no amount of irritation about the Snapchat story can compete with - when snaps are send to you individually as well. This may come as a shock to some users, but no one wants to see the same thing twice. And if anything, they’re slightly gutted upon the discovery that the so-called personal message has been sent to the rest of the contact list.

Another big rule for Snapchat etiquette: be cautious. Primarily of your surroundings.

Do you really wanna be THAT guy taking endless selfies in the Robbo? Hilarious though it may be to others, it’s painful to watch and quite frankly you look like a bit of a twat. Try to be as incognito as possible - and always remember that there’s nothing more hilarious than a Snapchat of a person taking a Snapchat. Caution should also be employed when selecting your addressee –

particularly if it’s a risky snap. Imagine the horror when you think you’re sending a dirty pic to your boyfriend and it accidently goes to your brother. In fact, it might just be best to keep Snapchat clean altogether, saves a LOT of potential embarrassment.

Finally, the most important rule when considering Snapchat etiquette – screenshotting is a no go area. Just because you CAN does not mean you should, and really you’re undermining the whole purpose of the app. Though its existence is important – no one wants to get too comfortable – it’s still a little mean. Despite it being an excellent source of blackmail, its bad manners.

“There’s nothing more hilarious than a Snapchat of a person taking a Snapchat”

Let’s just remember that the best snaps are definitely the weirdest. Spontaneity is key, but always keep in mind that Snapchat merely fills a bubble between nothing and texting, whilst definitely not an appropriate method to communicate important information. Overall: don’t take it too seriously.

The more chins, the better.

The Courier

lifestyle.15

Monday 10 November 2014

Review: Burgerstop Hannah Redman sinks her handsome molars into a slice of Quayside’s new burger joint

B

urgerstop has opened in Newcastle.

Springing up some time over the summer when the city is for many not only far from body but far from mind, you probably haven’t heard of it.

I stumbled across it with a friend by mistake, and taken by its student-geared ethos of ‘burgers beers beats’, a week later took my house there for my birthday lunch. I can see how its location, which entails a walk to the forgotten straits of Bar38, Chase, and Vic 22 would put off the average student, especially to those in Jesmond who are already spoken for by the Fat Hippo and Jam Jar, but I strongly recommend it.

was light, and the fresh salad with pickled red onion counteracted the richness of the beef and the cheese, meaning that I wasn’t wallowing in a postburger pool of self-loathing and grease. A recent sweet potato convert, the chips were dreamy, fried and salted to perfection. Also, for the nonconformists that opt for barbecue sauce at Maccy D’s

“I wasn’t left wallowing in a post-burger pool of self-loathing and grease”

in place of ketchup, the BBQ pulled pork burger, which looked meaty to say the least, was a winner with the group.

One of the best parts of the meal was the staff members who were refreshingly attentive; I was surprised by the familiar strains of ‘Happy Birthday’ over the speakers, and a plate of cupcakes complete with birthday card. Evidence of this moment can be found on their Facebook page in the form of a photo collage featuring numerous snaps of me bright red in the face blowing out candles.

Our verdict: if you want the kind of burger normally seen on Instagram but in less pretentious surroundings, Burgerstop is probably your place.

Kathryn Holland Why do we fancy our teachers?

F

irst year, first day - he walks in. Tall, slim, silver hair, a slight shadow of a beard, all in all totally irresistible. As he looks around the room with his piercing grey eyes I feel my face going red. Who is this man? How can someone like this be a lecturer? I thought all lecturers were fat and bald. It turned out that I wasn’t the only person in the room who was transfixed. As my friends and I left the lecture the air was abuzz with talk about how “fit” he was. As the years have gone by mine and my friends obsession hasn’t lessened; much jealousy was caused once when I answered a question correctly in one of his lectures and the end he said bye to me and only me...

“We sat listening to 90s hip-hop under the light of a vintage bathtubturned-light”

It serves only ‘gourmet’ British beef, a claim offset by its unfussy interior reminiscent of an American diner, but in typically British fashion, more metropolitan and overall more cool. We sat listening to 90s hip-hop under the light of a vintage bath-tubturned-light, and although none of us got involved in the ‘beers’ side of the ‘burgers beers beats’ catch line, we could see they served Red Stripe as one of their four beers; an attractive option to the WHQ regulars I’m sure.

I ordered their ‘Up in Smoke’ burger with bacon and blue cheese as well as sweet potato chips, priced separately at £8.00 and £2.50. I don’t like mixing meats together, and had failed to spot the bacon component on the menu, but despite this minor issue on the starting line, it was definitely the right option. The brioche buns have the logo and restaurant ethos (which said too many times starts to sound quite cringe so I won’t repeat it again) branded on the bread, sparking extensive discussion amongst the group as to how this was achieved.

For me, they beat the Fat Hippo because the bread

“Is it that we all crave to be dominated, either emotionally or sexually?”

Hannah Redman

Dissertation? Er, the rabbit ate it

But why is it that we find some of our teachers so attractive? Is it because they are in a position of power, and whether we are male or female, we all crave to be dominated either emotionally or sexually? Or is it because, in places such as school and university there are so few attractive lecturers and teachers, we immediately attach our affections to the most attractive one of the bunch? One of my friends went to an all girls school and told me how there was only one male teacher under the age of 40 that all the girls fancied: “He wasn’t even that attractive”, she said, “it was just the fact the he was the best of a bad lot.” Whatever the reason it is these teachers which resonate in our memories.

“He wasn’t even that attractive. He was just the best of a bad lot’”

A house pet might sound like a class idea but the reality is an nightmare, says Rebecca Dooley

Y

ou’ve made it through the obstacle course of moving out, revealing drinking games, cooking blunders and uni hangovers whilst obliviously still brandishing the stamp from the nightclub the night before. Therefore you can now claim to be serious students who know how to look after themselves throughout these ups and downs. So with your renewed feelings of independence you decide to get a pet; because hey you’ve scraped through alright, looking after a pet will be easy. But how wrong you are.

“He destroyed the sofa, wee’d on the carpet and chewed through six phone chargers”

Last year in my house my one specification was that we didn’t get any pets, as I knew it would cause us to descend into anarchy. So you can imagine my surprise when upon going home for the weekend (after severe Sunday dinner withdrawals) I get a notification of “SURPRISE!” attached to a picture of a rabbit named Bijoux. Aptly named as I sincerely hoped it was a drunken joke. But no, my supposedly rational flatmates had crumbled under the onslaught of a cute face and had actually gone out and purchased a rabbit.

As seemingly the only sane one of my house I questioned how if we can barely keep the kitchen clean how can we manage a rabbit?

During its reign of terror in the house said rabbit managed to destroy the sofa puff so it leaked hundreds of polystyrene balls, weed countless times on the carpet when someone ‘forgot’ to put him back in his cage and chewed through six phone chargers including mine. It was also a not so fun escapade trying to hide the rabbit when the inevitable house viewings came around, as the amount of things that come with it could rival any girl’s wardrobe- and shockingly most student houses don’t allow pets, who knew?

“I would have been happy to imagine him in a rabbit stew”

This rabbit was also bloody Houdini incarnate and had perfected escaping from his pen. You never realise how nimble a rabbit is until it is taking four of you to try and capture the thing and you’re still epically failing.

Whilst it is funny looking back at the time, I think my mind would have been happy to imagine him in a rabbit stew in its stress haze. He also managed to learn a trick - how to jump the sofa. So instead of being able to relax

after a day in uni I was more paranoid that the menace was going to escape, slyly jump up, and eat a hole in the sofa whilst we were unawares.

“This rabbit was Houdini incarnate”

Thank goodness everyone eventually sobered up and saw the logic of getting rid of Bijoux; I think the last straw was when my flatmate had spent days building a model for her architecture project, only to come home one day and find half a building demolished, with some very distinctive rabbit nibbles marking the destruction.

Yes, it was a beautiful day when one of my flatmates took him home for Christmas and agreed to never bring him back. Finally, we were free.

So take my advice and don’t be pulled into the idea of getting a house pet, at least not if you don’t want to lose a healthy chunk of your deposit. Sigh.

Of course there are situations when a bit of harmless flirtation turns sour, lines are crossed and someone ends up getting hurt or going to jail. Of course in most cases things don’t reach the level of Jeremy Forrest and the fifteen year old pupil who fled to France, it’s just a bit of fun to laugh about with your friends.

“If only he could get my name right”

Regarding the silver fox who I encountered on my very first day of uni, he still holds a place in my heart. Only twice in my entire time at university has it faltered, once when he casually dropped in that he was married, the second time when he said he found the idea of having children repulsive.

These things aside however, he is still the most attractive lecturer I have ever seen and I’m sure we can work through our differences… if only he could get my name right.

Illustrated by Rowan Mills

16.fashion

Monday 10 November 2014

The Courier

Fashion Editors: Amy O’Rourke and Hannah Fitton Online Fashion Editor: Hannah Goldstein

Kathryn Holland

We pay tribute to one of the fashion industry’s most desirable designers

A

fter a long battle with cancer the New York based fashion designer, Oscar de la Rents died at his home on the 20th Oc-

tober.

Born in the Dominican Republic, he travelled to Madrid at the age of 18 to study painting at the Academy of San Fernando. It was here where his fashion journey began, shortly after arriving in Madrid he was asked to sketch the designs of Cristóbal Balenciaga. He moved to Paris, where he worked at Lanvin before moving to New York and setting up his own label in the early 60s.

He rose to fame quickly with his Latin routes adding an appealing femininity to his clothes.

His designs changed with the times and never felt dated. After the launch of his brand in 1965, the designer developed successful home ware, readyto-wear, bridal and fragrance collections, which concreted his reputation as one of the most desirable and successful designers in the industry.

“Work hard. Believe in yourself.

It’s not the publicity that sells the clothes, it’s the woman”

His exquisite designs have been worn by everyone from Jacqueline Kennedy to Liv Tyler and Naomi Campbell. Taylor Swift, one of Oscar’s youngest admirers, who often chose his designs for the red carpet, tweeted: “My all-time favourite designer has passed away. Oscar, it was an honour to wear your creations and to know you. In loving memory.”

One of the most touching homages to the designers death came from long-time friend Sarah Jessica Parker who expressed that is was “especially meaningful to collaborate with him for this year’s Met Gala. I will always be grateful that he allowed me to honour him by embroidering his name in scarlet on the hem of his glorious dress. He was an inspiration and a man like no other.” The dress that Parker wore, like all of his creations, was magnificent, a black bodice accompanied by a long white train made the writer and shoe designer shine with elegance.

The same can be said about the gown Amy Adams wore to the 2013 Oscars; a strapless lavender gown which was simply sublime.

Despite the designers fame he never let it go to his head. One of his many mantras was “Work hard. Believe in yourself. It’s not the publicity that sells the clothes, it’s the woman.” He u nd e rsto o d that fashions come and go but that femininity and the elegance of women lasts forever.

He is survived by his wife, Annette, as well as his son, Moyses de la Renta; his three step-children, Beatrice Reed, Charlie Reed and Eliza Bolen; three sisters, who all live in the Dominican Republic; and nine Illustration: Daisy Billowes grandchildren.

How to cape it real

Ellen Dixon explores the high street alternatives to the iconic Burberry blanket poncho, the Autumn staple to help you look chic and stay warm

T

he Burberry Prorsum A/W 2014 catwalk saw the introduction of the now iconic blanket poncho, which you can snap up for a bargain price of £895. (If you want a personalised monogram you’ll have to fork out an extra £200.)

Unsurprisingly though, the cape itself has sold out completely on the Burberry website. All of the models from the Burberry show wore a personalised version for the finale walk, and it’s increasingly being spotted off the runway on both the models, and on other celebrities such as Sarah Jessica Parker or Olivia Palermo.

‘With autumnal colours and an almost identical blanket stitching, people might actually believe its the real thing’ As well as this particular poncho though, Burberry’s cape game is on point as they boast a number of cashmere, wool and suede numbers, all of which they have styled over the classic Burberry trench coat. As a result, the cape has taken over as this season’s go-to cover up. They’re perfect for the winter months, they look good with basically anything, and just looking at them will make you think of Christmas.

Luckily, you won’t be short of high-street alternatives. Every store seems to be introducing their own versions, with the additions of a fur trim, tartan print or tassels. With the Burberry version setting you back the equivalent of three months rent,

the high street is the perfect place to find a cheaper, student budget friendly version of the iconic cape.

Quite probably the most similar to the designer version, and an absolute fraction of the price, is this Topshop colour block cape. With autumnal colours and an almost identical blanket stitching, people might actually believe for a moment that it’s the real thing.

This Miss Selfridge poncho is almost of the same shades as the Burberry, but has an Aztec print instead of colour blocking. This would be perfect draped over a thin-knit jumper or to add a bit extra to an all-black outfit, and is only the price of a good night out in Newcastle.

With this array of high street alternatives, a cape is the perfect way to keep cosy and look stylish.

Topshop

Farewell Oscar de la Renta

Snapped on campus Lottie Bovill headed out to catch the freshest looks and most chic students

Jordy 18 Aspiring Philosophy

Victoria 19 Law

Luke 20 Fine Art

Hannah 19 Modern Languages

Declan 20 History

Lulu 18 Ancient History

The Courier

fashion.17

Monday 10 November 2014

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion Instagram:@thecourierfashion | Facebook: facebook.com/thecourierfash |Email: c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk |

Q

I usually use a tote bag to carry my books in for uni, but recently it’s started to hurt my back so a switch to a rucksack is a must.

Please can you help me find one that will fit all my books in but that will look good too.

Thanks, Sophie

A

Okay, I admit this first bag is a little bit out there BUT who said standing out was a bad thing?

Animal print is a must for this season and this Primark pick uses leopard print in the funkiest way possible whilst keeping it practical AND at an extremely reasonable price at just at just £9, what’s not to like?

This second bag is a beautiful classic. It’s a tad bit more expensive than the first but, being from House Of Fraser it will be sure to be great quality. This beaut bag combines sophistication and practicality with a 90s twist, plus, the simple design and colour make it extremely versatile.

Last but not least is my favourite find of this week. This Accessorize rucksack comes up trumps in every area for me; it’s cute, it’s chic and it definitely wins on efficiency and practicality - it has everything a busy (and super stylish) uni gal could need. With a protective laptop case inside and changeable straps, this bag will be sure to put to rest any troubles you have with keeping your valuables safe whilst giving you optimum comfort… I might have to buy this one for myself.

Q

I have a 21st coming up, we are going for dinner at six at the Baltic, so need to dress smart.

I want something a bit different than the typical LBD, any ideas? Thanks, Alice

A

I’ve tried to give you a good range of different outfits to choose from so hopefully there should be at least one look that tickles your fancy. First I’ve chosen a gorgeous Christmassy number from the ever trustworthy Marks and Sparks. The coppery metallic tones of the dress mixed with the subtle floral pattern really give this piece an edge of luxury and glamour. If this look is a tad too decadent for you could try a leather biker over the top to break up the outfit and make it that little bit more casual - would look great with black or nude chunky platforms.

My second pick oozes class and sophistication - the perfect look for sipping posh cocktails with your pals in a swanky restaurant.

The combination of the crop top and tulip skirt make for a really flattering outfit with the tailored pastel blazer adding that girly twist, but still keeping it uber-chic, of course.

You can sometimes over-complicate an outfit when trying to create a fancy look, but it’s the simplicity of this outfit that makes it so classy. For me, less is definitely more, don’t be mistaken for thinking a minimal outfit is boring, the variety of textures and the chunky statement jewel make this outfit perfect for any party/formal event.

Mastering the midi-­skirt

D

hop

idge

Tops

Selfr Miss

Tops

hop

Tessa Jones tells tells us how to wear the summer trend swishing its way into this season

esigner and high street alike have taken on one of the most femininely chic and elegant silhouettes – the midi skirt. This nostalgic trend has been around for a couple of seasons now and its popularity shows no sign of slowing.

One of the best things about this ever-flattering cut is its versatility, whereby it can be styled to suit pretty much every girl and any occasion. The full hems skim over thighs and pull in your waist, creating more of an hourglass shape and adding curves where you may not have any. I’m a big fan of this trend as they are flattering to a longer frame, emphasising height, and the soft lines break up long legs. Plus, the length seems to be pretty wind resistant so you don’t have to be conscious of giving everyone an awkward flash of your bum when you’re walking outside this winter.

If your parents gifted you with a shorter than average frame then my suggestion would be to go

with more subtle patterns or plainer skirts, to avoid being swamped by a larger area of print; you can always jazz things up more with your choice of top.

No matter your height, these 50s-inspired full skirt can still keep you feeling chic and sexy for a night out, simply by going bare-legged and adding a pair of heels.

‘The midi-skirt really is suited to every shape, size and style - you can only look and feel great wearing one’ One of my favourite looks is a miniskirt with a sheer mid-length overlay, where you can dabble in the usually modest trend whilst still showing off your lovely legs. I would wear this barelegged with a strappy crop top and heels or ballet pumps to go out, or copy Olivia Palermo and wear it belted with

a silk t-shirt. You still have the feminine silhouette but keep your look unapologetically cool by toughening the pattern up. Incidentally, the uber-popular sport wear as every day look can also be adapted to suit a midi-skirt - a casual jersey fabric looks coolly slick when matched with a pair of converse and a slouchy t-shirt. Mixing up the textures in your outfit can give you an alternative stylish edge, even with the same colour throughout, since light will reflect differently off the contrasting materials.

You could pair a floaty sheer skirt with a more rigid wool jumper, or a harder waffle skirt with a soft chiffon shirt. But, the easiest and most effortless way to wear the trend is simply putting a patternless skirt with a long sleeved striped top or a slogan jumper for an instantly stylish and contemporary look. The midi-skirt really is suited to every shape, size and style – you can only look and feel great wearing one so, when are you getting yours?

Connor McDonnell

Forget the standard shapes of last winter’s sweaters, this season is all about the turtleneck

W

ith the winter months looming, you will probably be scraping out your arsenal of jumpers and sweatshirts to combat the cold. Turtleneck jumpers, otherwise known as polo necks or roll neck jumpers, are scarcely an addition to the array of winter wear, but they definitely should be.

Guys could nip to Primark and get a suave, new turtleneck jumper for a mere £7, but there seems to be self-aware reservation about donning one.

Is it that they rise slightly above the neckline, and that is a deemed little bit too eccentric? I forget that people don’t really like anything that is beyond the regular.

As pretentious as it may sound, I take certain inspirations from being a Jon Kortajarena fanboy and he wears the shit out of a turtleneck.

He wears them mainly with suits, as an alternative to the tiresome, formal wear tradition of shirt-and-tie combination.

However, turtlenecks can be worn under a peacoat to tone down the formality, yet still holds together as a very refined look. Another notable turtleneck wearer was Steve McQueen, who oozed stylishness as a prominent fashion icon and confidently rocked the turtleneckraincoat combo.

Burton

Our resident agony aunt N Nina ina Hamer amer solves readers’ wardrobe worries

“You could appear as an artistic type, a novelist or a poet perhaps, with a mysterious demeanour”

Topman

Nina knows best

Return of the roll neck

Turtlenecks can (I cannot stress can enough) also bring a cool air of intellectualism to your appearance. You could appear as an artistic type, a novelist or poet perhaps, with a mysterious demeanour.

But, maybe you are going for that middle-aged History teacher look, whose sartorial preferences extend to everything beige or some of that sweet, sweet double-denim. Personally, I have never attempted this look, but I can’t imagine I would quite pull it off.

Turtlenecks come in a multiplicity of shapes and sizes. The basic turtleneck can be worn underneath pretty much anything, but the more chunky alternatives can be worn as a stand alone piece.

The oversized, chunky versions can come with textured criss-cross details or another alternative is the ribbed turtleneck. Recently, there has been a surge Fair Isle-pattered turtlenecks, but I am not so keen; it comes off a bit too lurid for the turtleneck, which is bold enough as a stand-alone piece of knitwear.

Keep your crew necks, v-necks and cardigans in the back of your wardrobe and instead try the turtleneck jumper.

18.beauty

Monday 10 November 2014

The Courier

Beauty  Editors:  Charlotte  Davies  and  Charlotte  Maxwell Online  Editor:  Kathy  Davidson

%ORNH\ EHDXW\ Get  ready  with  me

6PRNH ZLWKRXW ¿ UH (OOHQ :DONHU 0D\RZD $NHUHGROX and .LUDW 6DJRR show  us  how  to  do  the  perfect  smoky  eye

Dark skin

Asian skin

Start with an off white or light silver eye shadow; pat it lightly with a medium sized bush into the inner corner of your eye and the first third of your eyelid. For the middle third of your eye lid, use a slightly darker shade of grey, again, apply generously and make sure both colours are applied up to the brow bone.

Prep skin using foundation then powder or using an eye primer. I used all three products as together they help intensify the eyeshadow and make blending much easier. Foundation used: MAC Studio Fix. Powder used: MAC Mineralize Skin Finish.

Primer used: Urban Decay Primer Potion.

Asian skin makes a great base for warm colours which is perfect for the deep bronzes and golds around at this time of year. First, prime the entire lid with a small dot of Urban Decay Primer Potion to keep the eyeshadow in place. I find it easier to do both eyes at once but you can work on one eye then the other.

Take your darkest shade of grey and apply into your eyelid crease. Then use a matte black eye shadow and apply to the outer third of the eyelid.

The positive of doing a dark smokey eye with a fair skin tone is that you have the element of contrast on your side, so donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hold back with the dark stuff.

For darker skin in the winter season, shadow colours should include warm hues. Make sure you use colours and shades that intensifies your eye shape and colour. I used MACâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Amber Lightsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; for my lower lid.

Then, using the Urban Decay Naked Palette, create a neutral base, take the colour â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Nakedâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and pat over the entire lid using a small, flat ended brush.

Next, take the colour â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Half-Bakedâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and again, apply this over the entire lid. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry if the powder falls everywhere, this is why eyes are done before any other make-up.

Next, take a large blending brush, making sure you hold it near the end, away from the actual bristles, softly blend all the colours together so there are no harsh lines or borders. The longer you take on this, the better it looks, so make sure you continue for at least for a minute, or until youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re happy with the results.

I then used MACâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Dark Brewâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; as my transition colour, MACâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Dance in the Darkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; for my crease area and MACâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Warm Breezeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; as my brow bone highlight. Make sure you blend each shadow completely till harsh lines are no longer visible.

Take the colour â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Creepâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and apply this to the outer third of the eyelid. Work it into the crease/socket and along the lower lash line. Now, using a fluffy blending brush buff this grey outwards. Keep building up the colour and buffing until youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re happy with the contrast against the gold. Finally, choose a black eyeliner and apply it right into the upper lash line.

Finish by applying a liquid liner in top, and by taking a flat thin brush to apply the dark grey eye shadow into your lower lashes, you can smudge this out as well for a more grungy look. Apply your favourite mascara and false lashes if you tend to wear them. Finish by taking a tiny amount of highlighter and applying on the brow bone and pat out with your finger.

And finally, liner your lids and apply some mascara/false lashes. Clean up eye area and you are good to go.

On the lower lash line go a third of the way in from the outer edge and pull the corner of the eye upwards to create a little flick. Smudge both, then use a cotton bud with eye make â&#x20AC;&#x201C;up remover to neaten up the look. Apply a little bit of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Sinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; to the inner corner of each eye and with a good dose of mascara that is your sexy, smouldering look complete!

Fair skin

Michael  Onoba  tells  us  how  he  gets  ready  for  a  Marmite-­ free  night  out  on  the  Toon

S

ir Winston Churchill once said: â&#x20AC;&#x153;A man does what he must â&#x20AC;&#x201C; in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and that is the basis of all human moralityâ&#x20AC;?. These are the words ringing in my ears during the pre-game ritual, the game being a night out of course. I take my pre-game ritual very seriously because I am a moral man, depending on who you ask - but thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s neither here nor there. What I really want to talk about is how you leave your house for a night out knowing â&#x20AC;&#x153;I already won,â&#x20AC;? whatever that means to you.

Cheeky...

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Lynx Africa is very consistent: it never gets old and possesses the alluring scent of unicorns and rainbows â&#x20AC;?

Step one, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve woken up: congratulations... but you smell like Marmite on toast. Never fear, this is specifically why showers were invented. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fine to use something perfumed but gentle on the skin.

Lynx Africa is very consistent: it never gets old and possesses the alluring scent of Unicorns and rainbows. Also use a good face wash, before a night out Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d recommend the Gillette Series Preshave face wash. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forget to brush your teeth (youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be surprised how many donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t) because your breath also smells of Marmite on toast. (I like Marmite.)

Step two, fresh from the shower; this is when you want to call your facial hair into order. Make sure no follicle is out of place. I covered how to do this in my last article. As we discussed or I wrote and you read, every man should have a razor and the Babyliss For Men grooming kit has yet to fail us.

Step three, put on some tunes. You should have a pre-night out playlist. If not I recommend â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Eye of the Tigerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; by Survivor on repeat. Sing along.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Check the usually unchecked, your finger nails, any nose hair and anything else thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unsightly and emergingâ&#x20AC;?

Step four, moisturize because youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got lots of skin, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s literally all over your body and you should take care of it. Nivea Men rehydrating moisturizer is simple and effective.

Step five, check the usually unchecked because youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a moral man - your fingernails, any nose hair and anything else thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unsightly and emerging. Then make sure your clothes are presentable and well laundered before draping yourself; it doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t matter if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going casual or formal, your clothes should still look like you could get knighted at any moment. Same goes for your shoes, not everyone will look down at the ground at your shoes but youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll know and thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reason enough. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re having an uncomfortable shoe day (or should I say night), thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s okay - just lace the inner of your shoe with some Vaseline. It works every time (a tip from one of my lovely editors).

Step seven, your hair, run a comb through it, a bit of gel if so inclined. And of course, improve your whiff by wearing a scent: this is completely personal choice and depends on what you like. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just important not to smell like Marmite. A man in a bathroom once said something to me: â&#x20AC;&#x153;No spray, noâ&#x20AC;Ś.â&#x20AC;?, I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t remember the rest but it seemed really poignant at the time.

Step nine, ten, eleven, twelve and everything after. Wear that smile and have a blast because life is a journey and so is a night out so enjoy it. I remember what the man said to me in the bathroom now but weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve already come to the end this week, sorry folks.

To see more from Mayowa visit her YouTube channel @may_ak.

The Courier

beauty.19

Monday 10 November 2014

thecourieronline.co.uk/beauty Instagram  @courier_beauty   |  Twitter  @CourierBeauty

Respite  from  frostbite

Flo  Davies  takes  us  through  her  must  have  winter  skin  products  to  keep  the  elements  at  bay

Kiehlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  Ultra  Facial  Moisturizer

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ow that the winter months are upon us, its time that I transition my beauty regime to suit the colder weather where dry, unloved skin seems ever present.

Kiehlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Daily Ultra Facial Moisturizer leaves the skin feeling nurtured and nourished, enriched with vitamins A and E and also imperata cylindrica (desert plant extract), which thrives in dry environments, its easily absorbed into dry, sensitive skin. For best results, apply in the morning and evening to sustain a moisture locked complexion and leaving skin feeling well balanced. Whilst the American cosmetics brand specializes in premium skincare and is at the pricier end of the spectrum, perhaps not catering for student budgets, it is an absolute must-have to add to the Christmas list! With Kiehlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s stores open on both Northumberland Street and Blackett Street in Newcastle city centre it is all the more tempting to get your hands on this lustful product.

Korres  Guava  Lip  Butter

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mini beauty essential. Infused with moisturizing properties, Korres Lip Butter shiny finish melts into the skin, leaving your lips with a hydrated finish.

Described as a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;natural brandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, the brandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s core values remain the same as in its simple pharmacy days â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the use of herbs and natural ingredients of the highest quality and environmentally friendly products are well worth the hype and constant attention in the beauty world! Its locally sourced ingredients from the Greek mainland, and surrounding islands sees its products formulated without parabens or any synthetic fragrances. Its simple formulation work wonders and the sheer nude tone leave a lovely subtle hint of colour on those now conditioned lips. As evident from the name, its buttery texture means that it is perfect to wear underneath your favourite lipstick, providing you with that much needed extra moisture against the harsh winter elements, or even on its own for a simple daytime appropriate wash of colour. With healing and nourishing properties, guava extract is therefore ideal for stressed and damaged skin, with the soothing texture being perfect for tough winter uni times. With Korres Lip Butter being available in both neutral shades (guava, jasmine) and alternatively orange and red hue bases (mango, wild rose and quince), there is a shade to suit everyone.

Macadamia  Natural  Oil  Deep  Repair  hair  masque

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ried out hair that needs a bit of extra TLC? In the colder months, hair can easily become dry and brittle, but can easily be avoided with a once weekly hair treatment.

Combining macadamia and argon oil, with tea tree and chamomile oil extract, the Macadamia Deep Repair hair masque provides long lasting conditioning, with the miracle product reconstructing dry damaged hair, leaving it rejuvenated and replenished. For those with relatively thin hair like myself, the Macadamia Natural Oil range, this product in particular works absolute wonders, the exceptionally lightweight formula, providing extreme nourishment, improves hair strength and renews damaged hair. Apply a small amount into towel-dried hair with even distribution and leave in for 10 minutes, to penetrate hair particles to and inject shine and softness into your luscious locks.

Ellen  Dixon  received  a  golden  glow  from  Jesmond  Beauty  Clinic

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net and a trusty paper thong (very attractive).

I definitely felt there was full coverage whilst having the tan. There wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t any areas of my body missed, and the colour was natural brown instead of an orange shade. I would note, that when I first showered after 2 and a half hours it looked like most of the colour had gone, but it continued to develop so in the morning it was the shade that I expected.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always going to be a little bit strange to stand half naked in front of a stranger, but Sam made me feel very comfortableâ&#x20AC;?

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always going to be a little bit strange to stand half naked in front of a stranger but Sam made me feel very comfortable, so donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t let the fear of being in the nude put you off. The tan would normally cost ÂŁ31, which is quite expensive for a student budget. For a special occasion though I do think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worth spending extra for a good service that will leave you with a natural looking tan with no streaks. I would definitely recommend Jesmond Beauty Clinic for this treatment, the place itself was lovely and if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got some spare money left over at the end of the month, a tan will definitely make you feel better in the winter months.

Jesmond Beauty Clinic is located on 11-12 Clayton Road, Jesmond.

For appointments call (0191) 2818775.

Tessa  Jones  and  /XF\ 6QRZGHQ debate  whether  or  not  the  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;man  bunâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  is  acceptable <HV RI FRXUVH Tessa

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, NQRZ WKLV JUHDW OLWWOH VDORQ ast Monday, I visited Jesmond Beauty Clinic to try out a complimentary spray-tan.

When arriving at the salon, I was greeted warmly by Sam on reception who was later to perform the spray-tan. The clinic on Clayton Street was lovely and cosy, with a cute gift shop, and Halloween decorations draped around the beauty products sold there. The nail bar was right near the seating area so it was nice to be able to see other treatments they had available.

I was taken upstairs to a little room where a spray-tan booth was. The room itself was quite small compared to the salon, but that didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t make a difference to the experience. Sam gave me options of which spray-tan I wanted, St Tropez or Vani-T, the latter I hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t heard of or tried before. I also told her I was planning to go for drinks that night, and she helpfully suggested a Vani-T formula which could be washed off after 1-3 hours, which was perfect for me having had the tan at 4pm. I also think one of the worst things about spray-tans is having to sit in them feeling sticky for 8 hours, so this could be avoided with such a short development time. She also looked at my skin tone which is naturally an olive shade, and gave me advice on how long to leave it before showering to achieve the right colour which in my case was around two and a half hours. I learned that the Vani-T tan was becoming increasingly popular, as it was full of natural oils and extracts which would make my skin feel smooth, and wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t leave nasty marks on my white sheets, as I have sometimes had with the St Tropez. It is also said to fade better than other tans, so you can avoid going from a nice brown colour to patchy all over. She gave me face wipes to get rid of my make-up and any perfumed products, a hair

Marmite:  The  Man  Bun

rad Pitt. Bradley Cooper. Kit Harington.

What do these men all have in common?

Besides being amazing actors, they all completely work the man-bun.

Despite me having to Google what he looked like, I believe we owe Oliver Proudlock from Made in Chelsea a thank you for making this casual and effortless hairstyle currently popular among males everywhere. Now, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not talking about those who strain their fingers trying to fit an elastic around a tiny tuft of hair â&#x20AC;&#x201C; jumping on the bandwagon never looked more pointless. I mean those committed enough to put the time and effort into growing their hair out properly, who do it because they love long, flowing locks and have the sense of style to pull it off.

As girls, most of us can understand the annoyance of having strands constantly falling into your face and taking on a life of its own when the wind hits, and these guys feel that too. Sure, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very much been adapted as a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;lookâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; but if you think about it, the practicalities of having your hair tied back in a neat little bun are definitely there and anyone with long hair can sympathise with that.

Because this hairstyle has been quite controversial and ridiculed, it takes a certain amount of confidence in a person to stick with it â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and confidence is attractive. I personally think the man bun is worked best by guys with a beard to match, just to complete the whole effortlessly rugged look. In the end, you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t please everyone so if you feel you can work this look then go right ahead.

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1R QHYHU /XF\

hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no longer a day that goes by that I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t spot a man with a bun roaming around the university campus. The bun used to be reserved only for ballerinas and certain male Disney characters - see Mulan - but in recent months its appeal has spread further afield, and I am not a fan.

The only situations in which it is acceptable to sport the sin that is the man bun are as follows: If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re Jake Gyllenhaal, Jared Leto, Chris Hemsworthâ&#x20AC;Ś (enter any other famous and good-looking actorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s name here).

Or maybe if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been living in the depths of the Amazonian rainforest for months, where thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no easy access to clean water, never mind a decent hairdresser. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d let you off then, I suppose.

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get me wrong, good friends of mine have embraced the man bun in its full glory, but that doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t make it okay. Yes, it adds something extra to those gap year snaps or to your Instagram selfies, but in the cold light of day I just donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t see the appeal. The tighter theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re scraped back, the greasier the hair seems to look â&#x20AC;&#x201C; even if has been freshly washed. Often, they are accompanied by a decent covering of facial hair which complements the sort of homeless and unwashed look they seem to be striving for.

For me, the man bun falls into the same category as the beard: just because you can, doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mean you should.

Tip  of  the  Week

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Never ask a girl with winged eyeliner why sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s late.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; A daily problem for all of us lusting after the perfect cat eye. Make the task much easier with a little strip of masking tape.

Place the tape at an angle, pointing upwards and following the guidance of your lower lashl-ine. This will work as a stencil and also clean up any smudges.

20.arts

Monday 10 November 2014

The Courier

Arts Editors: Lucy Chenery and Becka Crawshaw Online Arts Editor: Jess Harman

Free thinking festival Hannah Fitton takes a look at BBC Radio 3’s art festival at the Sage, Gateshead

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’ve never been a big fan of the radio; with Chris Moyles’ old breakfast slot playing the same four songs on loop, and pointless games thrown in to try and spice it up, I gave up on radio when I was at school. However, I do realise that I need to shun my hatred and blanket rejection, for all things radio and ‘expand my horizons’ so to speak, so I attended BBC Radio 3’s Free Thinking festival at the Sage Gateshead.

Holly Argent visits the Northern Gallery Of Contemporary Art and attends a seminar on ‘Talking Intimacy’

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ow many times have you tweeted that passive-aggressive statement when your housemate is annoying you and then thought ‘oops shouldn’t have done that’? I’m sure a fair few people reading this know what I mean, and its just one example of how digital technologies are becoming an outlet for emotions and/or situations that we would usually deal with privately. Looking at the emotional private experience turning into a public commodity or at least becoming a public act has become a hot topic in contemporary art since the 70s. More so in recent years, artists have explored how we value intimacy, particularly in a burgeoning technological age.

Across a range of mediums including performance, video and painting, the group show Emotional Resources at NGCA (Northern Gallery of Contemporary Art) held a seminar called ‘Art Intimacy and the Public Sphere’ in tandem. Speakers included some of the artists in the show such as Harry Burke and Pheobe Unwin, as well as academics. Prolific sociologist Professor Lynn Jamieson from Edinburgh University highlighted how the everyday life is transformative; the mundane commonplace parameters have the potential for intimacy as much as larger gestures and even more so than speech. As the saying goes, “actions speak louder than words”. What we should be aware of today is (to quote Jamieson) ‘our background chorus is now screens as well as voices’ and that our social script is running through the virtual, as well as socially. Intimacy is neither ‘love’ nor an ‘emotion’ but an acknowledgement of connection between people, so its understandable that genuine communication can become problematic when physical notations that we ‘read’ such as hand gestures become replaced by screens.

Lucia Garavaglia is a curator and co-founder of The Etorphilous Society and her talk introduced an interesting concept. The group organise talks, events and performances by combining creative art production with critical discussion through participatory research work. Exploring topics of intimacy and eterphilogy (‘eter’ meaning between and ‘philogy’ meaning love) they provide an environment to discuss topics of sexuality and intimacy in less formal ‘intimate gatherings’ with no documentation. In terms of collaborative work I think this is an incredibly valuable project because as we have seen with psychotherapy (even the development of online-therapy) simply talking in one way or another has been seen to be a method of bettering oneself and the larger community.

The whole day was largely an education in sociology and it is not surprising art combines with it regularly. Art is a generous means for commentary on current social changes, and how we value emotionalism needs to be one we’re more aware of. Discussion can never be undervalued as a means of further exploring, though ‘explaining’ your finished art-work is frowned upon by some, events like this that are further exploring potent, contemporary ideas can only be positive in their outcomes.

Image: Holly Argent

“I’ve never been a big fan of the radio...I gave up on it when I was at school” Spanning the Halloween weekend, the festival saw leading thinkers assemble together for lively debates, the discussion of new ideas, and musical performances. Dotted around the entrance of the festival were boards each with an image of a brain on it, and a question, which you were encouraged to answer by writing your response on a post-it note. ‘How do you know you’re happy?’ sparked the most Post-its, with one sadly stating “Only once it has happened”, however, some were more upbeat, one read “Please smile, now wait… wait… are you just a little bit happy? Good”, rather sweet.

“How do you know you’re happy?”

The first event was a live broadcast from music journalist, David Hepworth. David helped launch the magazines Empire, Q, Mojo, Heat and The Word. It was very bizarre watching someone perform their radio set, as radio is something you only ever listen to. David played his ‘classics’, songs that

had shaped both his life and music history. Having never heard of most of the songs it was interesting, and the wide variety of different genres kept it fresh.

“Paul Dolan’s key to happiness? Purposefulness”

The next event we attended was Speech Before Words: Imagining the Evolution of Language, led

by Will Abberley from Oxford University. Will looked like an extra member of Mumford & Sons as he stepped out in a khaki and white striped top equipped with braces, and of course sporting the obligatory beard. He spoke of science fiction authors, such as H.G Wells, and how they present Neanderthals and the way they communicate with one another.

The last event, entitled Happy Talk, was my favourite of the day. The talk began with presenter Rana Mitter asking the audience to put their hand up if they were happy, or if they were sad. This became slightly awkward as only four people, out of over two hundred, put their hand up for the latter, one such person sat beside me. Rana chaired a very heated discussion between Paul Dolan and Vincent Deary, both authors of ‘happiness’ books, and feminist writer Beatrix Campbell. Paul kicked the discussion off by blankly stating that “working, working out and going out” made him happy. Clad in a tight white t-shirt, he continued to declare that he “has never read a book”, that he loves protein, oh, and of course, sex. His key to happiness? Purposefulness. He believes that we should focus on experiences and being in the moment, maximising its purposefulness, and then you’ll be happy.

Simple right?

In My Father’s House: People’s Theatre

Art, War & Trauma: Hatton Gallery

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rt, War and Trauma is a comprehensive exhibition featuring media such as sculptures to paintings, poems to lithographs, propaganda posters to aquatints.

The exhibition concentrates on pieces created during the First World War, with a focus on a soldier’s experience. The art is primarily made by young men whose passion towards art was wornout as they enlisted for the Army; like Wilfred Owen and Otto Dix. Knowing that their works were often produced in trenches somehow gives the work a more authentic feeling. It is as if their art is not only dealing with the experience of war, but also explains why the young artists decided to fight in the first place.

concept with promise leads to a slightly disappointing execution in Patrick Robinson’s In My Father’s House, where a few minor issues create major problems.

In My Father’s House tells the story of the effect of a father’s death on an already dysfunctional family. From the pious widow Joyce and her troubled daughter Sophie, to militantly atheist son Adam and his partner Ben, the story tells of the way relationships are tested when contrasting beliefs collide.

The greatest issue for the play lies in the depiction of the main character, Adam. As the play progresses, his brash and childish personality becomes unbearable and at times even comical, making his relationship with well-mannered Ben difficult to believe. There are also issues regarding the play’s heavy-handed approach to key themes, most notably Sophie’s rushed religious epiphany which fails to provide an adequate conclusion to the play.

“Surprisingly, the exhibition is not depressing; it is rather disturbingly peaceful”

“The play’s lack of real driving focus and plot prevents it from reaching its full potential”

Surprisingly, the exhibition is not depressing- it is rather disturbingly peaceful. The artists do not try to overwhelm the audience with their experiences, but portray what they have witnessed. The visual experience is complemented by poems and extracts from books that have been superimposed on to the walls.

It is simple sketches and small aquatints that make the biggest impact; especially three small aquatints and etchings by Otto Dix: The War, Wounded Man and Nocturnal Meeting with Madam. Created after different, crucial events in the WWI, all three can be described as truly haunting.

The play also showcased a wide spectrum of talent. Ben completely stole the show with a superb performance which was the driving force behind the play’s humour. Conversely, Adam’s portrayal is uneven and overacted, failing to reveal any depth to the character.

Overall, In My Father’s House is a good production from a new playwright, but its lack of real driving focus and plot prevents it from reaching its full potential. Robinson shows a great deal of promise, but regrettably this production failed to show anyBecky Harrison

Images: ...

Images: Anna Jastrzembska

Anna Jastrzembska

The Courier

arts.21

Monday 10 November 2014

Under the covers Tame Impala Innerspeaker (2010)

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eif Podhajsky’s artistry is imbued with themes of recursion. His encapsulation of this on Innerspeaker’s cover art, plunges in to a jarring infinite of emerald forest, azure sky and smudges of a warm orange.

The psychedelic, visual rush aptly accompanies the dulcet, hypnotic tones of Kevin Parker, and boldly imposes the listener on to the capacious, idyllic plane that Podhajsky conjures up.

“The psychedelic, visual rush aptly accompanies the dulcet, hypnotic tones of Kevin Parker”

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierArts

Connor McDonnell takes a look at some of his favourite album art

To ‘tache or not to ‘tache?

Bauhaus Mask (1981)

Harriet Costello comes to grips with ‘Movember’ and the charity it is in aid for;; whilst enjoying the creative array of ‘taches exhibited in the North East

Foals Holy Fire (2013)

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nother work of Podhajsky, this was originally taken originally from National Geographic’s photographer Thomas Nebbia.

Again, Podhajsky works with forces of nature: the waves and the burning sky. The sulphuric sunset, or sunrise, looms on a scene of a horse-backed group boldly silhouetted against the sea. The mystery of the powerful image evokes a dark, lugubrious atmosphere of an apocalypse, or the envisioning of a beautiful death.

“The mystery of the powerful image evokes a dark, lugubrious atmosphere of an apocalypse”

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his sketch was done by the band’s guitarist Daniel Ash. The monochromatic depiction of the poorly sketched characters of a man, a bear and (possibly) an alien, strikes us as a search for identity in a realm of madness.

Despite the shoddy drawing, the darkened eyes of the man carry an emotion of haunting fury and the eyeless bear’s smirk stirs a creepy evocation of demonic possession. The goth rock band have successfully produced a sketch to arouse discomfort.

“The goth-rock band have successfully produced a sketch to arouse discomfort”

Image: Masao Nakagami

Mirror Speech: Baltic 39

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ondon-based artist Gail Pickering brings a new body of work, Mirror Speech. Pickering’s largest solo exhibition in the UK to date, the works are a response to a 1970s social experiment in militant community filmmaking wherein the residents of a social housing complex in France worked together to produce a television channel, Vidéogazette, which would be a reflection of themselves.

Pickering works mostly with moving image to raise questions about the issues surrounding representation, identity and memory. She Was A Visitor (2014), a cyclorama wall flooded with red light, brings to mind television studios and photographic processing and serves to remind the audience of the subjective nature of the creative process itself. In Corridors (2014), Pickering manipulates historical footage in order to address the issues surrounding collectively produced work, fictionalising the cuts or interrupting them and disrupting their narrative. The artist employs montage to mimic the episodic character of televisual broadcasts, calling to mind classic filmmakers such as Sergei Eisenstein and Dziga Vertov who used montage to construct ideological narratives.

“Pickering’s work raises questions about the issues surrounding representation, identity and memory”

The most impressive work of this series is undoubtedly Near Real Time (2014), a three channel video installation projected onto separate screens, angled so that the audience can walk amongst them but can never really take in all three at once. The videos are connected by a single narrator, mouthed by the various on-screen characters. This piece best sums up the essence of Pickering’s subject matter: to what extent can the televisual image be truly subjective?

Maxine Davies

They Used To Call It The Moon: Baltic 39

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hey Used to Call it the Moon is a new exhibition to the Baltic’s sister gallery Baltic 39. Unusually for the Baltic, this is an exhibition comprised of several artists’ works. The exhibition focuses upon the human fascination and exoticism of the Moon, one that still pertains to this day.

The range of artists and mediums is vast, from sculpture and paintings, to film and photography.

This allows you to immerse yourself fully into the hype and mystery that has surrounded the Moon for many years, more so with the beginning of the space race in the 1960s, where the obsession with visiting and exploring the moon reached fever pitch. This almost overloading of the senses within the exhibition seeks to replicate how it must have felt to have lived in the peak of the space age.

Robin Ince: The Stand

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lthough Robin Ince has been performing stand up for over 20 years, you may well know him from his Radio 4 show The Infinite Monkey Cage, which he presents with Brian Cox. This week, he performed his new show Bloody Blooming Confusion at The Stand – well, he was supposed to, anyway. Part of Ince’s idiosyncratic charm – aside from the quiff so thin it’s translucent and the shabby cardigan – is his commitment to his manic style, replete with support acts halfway through the gig, physical animation and frequently pruning his myriad tangents with a barked ‘Anyway!’. In lesser hands, this incessant enthusiasm might feel trite but Ince’s genuine, earnest warmth anchors it.

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o I knew that Movember was to do with guys and their ‘taches raising money for prostate cancer and certainly enjoy marvelling at the (often) impressive array of moustaches roaming the streets throughout November, but I have to admit I was unaware of the depths and range of the charity.

“The weird, the wonderful and the wacky made an appearance on a whole new level at the 2014’s championship”

The UK Movember website (http://uk.movember. com/about) enlightened me to the additional illnesses the Movember movement raises both money and awareness for. I had previously been unaware that mental health problems – as well as testicular cancer – are one of the illnesses Movember is in aid of. I would certainly recommend checking the website out to get in the know - plus it’s a must for your moustache inspiration boys – though if your chest hair is a little scarce then perhaps best not to look for fear of hairy chest envy.

It would appear that perfecting your moustache has been a big deal for quite some time with rumours of the first ever Moustache and Beard Championship back in the 70s. The weird, the wonderful and the wacky on a whole new level made an appearance at 2014’s championship where to be quite honest I feel many of the moustaches defy the law of gravity but hey ho.

The Movember movement has so far raised £346 million since it began in 2003, so if you haven’t already lads then put down your razors. These illnesses no doubt affect each of our lives, so why not raise awareness and raise some dollar? And let’s be honest – girls love a guy with the ability to grow facial hair.

“Let’s be honest – girls love a guy with the ability to grow facial hair”

“Ince’s idiosyncratic charm – aside from the quiff so thin it’s translucent and the shabby cardigan – is his “The exhibition focuses commitment to his manic upon the human fascination style” and exoticism of the Moon” However, this scattershot style does come at the

However, the exhibition also deals with a postspace world, where the likes of NASA cannot afford to explore outer space as much as they used to, meaning the exhibition also questions whether the obsession with space and the moon is something that can be maintained. That said, I found myself fascinated and enchanted with the glamour of the space age and modern interpretation of the Moon and space travel. One particular work to mention is sculptor Joseph Popper’s The One-Way Ticket, an immersive piece, showing how many believed the interior of a space ship would appear. The corridor arrives at a dead end, suggesting that the future of space exploration is uncertain, much like human interest in it.

Jack Parker

cost of Ince sticking to material he’s actually written. It’s testament to his comic skill was that it was mostly still very, very funny. His reading of 70’s soft porn/B-movie crossover Crabs On The Rampage was brilliant, and the written material, surfacing in the second half, retained the quirky energy whilst adding some welcome pace. Admittedly, there were a few misses – some of the more esoteric reference points alienated the audience, not facilitated by Ince implying it was because we were in Newcastle, and, like many middle aged comedians, attempts at Facebook can’t help but feel awkward.

It feels a little disingenuous to review a show that has very little chance of being the same the next time round, but whatever tangent he scampers down next time, it’s sure to be funny. I would give this show a 4 star rating.

George Severs

Image: Wikimedia Commons

22.filmfeatures features

Monday 10 November 2014

The Courier

Film Editors: Rosie Rosie Bellini & David Leighton Online Editor: Lucas Lucas Fothergill

Pleasure Island

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am Raimi’s third instalment in his popular Spiderman trilogy was (at the time) the most expensive superhero film ever made and was also critically panned – into hell.

It killed the franchise for nearly half a decade and has remained in the pit for seven years, roasting in eternal hellfire along with the likes of X-Men: The Last Stand and anyone who affiliates with the EDL. Now, I will attempt to drag it back up into the land of the living with my defence of this pustule riddled pile of piss starring Toby Maguire’s cryface, Toby Maguire’s kink face and Toby Maguire’s infamous dancing….oh and also Kirsten Dunst doing absolutely nothing that anybody has ever cared about. I suppose defend is a brave word in regards to this film but – in much the same way I enjoyed watching The Wickerman (2006) and in much the same way a lot of people watch Jordan’s televised antics – I enjoy watching this film, to laugh at it rather than with it.

Scream with mirth as Goblin Jr. (James Franco) and Mary-Jane Watson (Dunst) are forced to share a romantic scene over an omelette, which is honestly just dead inside. (The scene, not the omelette.) In fact it’s more interesting to watch to see what becomes of the omelette because the rest of the scene is not that egg-citing at all. ROFL as Franco plays the villain and fights our main man Maguire in a scene that produced completely (un) forgettable lines such as “Ooo, stings doesn’t it,” and “I protected you in high school but now I’m gonna kick your ass!”. Then prepare to LMAO as Spiderman takes to the streets to try out his ‘uncle knobhead’ dance moves on the wide and varied people of New York who (on this particular street) happen to consist of attractive twenty-something women which Maguire parts like the red sea with his truly dire dirty dancing.

I could go on, because this film is essentially all of the Spiderman you didn’t want to see, like finding your dad curled up at the bottle of the stairs with only a single rose and a bottle of vodka screaming “draw me like this Jack, draw me like this” – but I shan’t. The reason being that, aside from all of the above, I still enjoy Spiderman 3 just a tiny little bit because I watched it when I was 13 or so. Whilst it disappointed, it was still a Spiderman film at a time when superhero’s hadn’t quite saturated our screens into oblivion like so much moist, muscly super-sponge.

David Leighton

Not actual Spiderman 3 omelette

Let’s stick together

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hat exactly is it that makes great chemistry on screen? The formula, if possible to isolate would be gold dust to actors and directors alike. Sadly, no such recipe has yet been patented.

However, looking into the current stars of screen Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper - now returning for their third film together - could they be setting some sort of trend that could be replicated?

The film in question is Serena, which is currently in theatres and promises to be a success (see review on the opposite page). Set in the depression in North Carolina it circulates around the story of George Pemberton and his wife.

So what is it that really that makes J-Law and Cooper work? Is it the contained desire they may share off screen, as seen in Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s Mr and Mrs Smith Smith? So far rumours of a relationship have not been revealed. Also, as Cooper is currently seeing model Suki Wa t e r h o u s e this explanation would lean towards the unlikely.

Reinforcing the belief that

there must be some other secret ingredient to the performances and not a romantic connection is another infamous pairing: Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. These demonstrate this in their run of fantastic films together, including Hot Fuzz and Paul.

Their on screen excellence stems from their long standing and close friendship, which has also lead to their starring in more films as they have co-written screen plays and then managed to land roles in said productions.

“These screen plays often suggest that the script may be one of the key elements in chemistry”

These screen plays often result in their most popular films which suggests that the script may be one of the key elements in chemistry. We couldn’t have asked for more in Titanic between Rose and Jack, but the script was so well tailored for the connection between them that it would have been a crime if they hadn’t worked, though of course we cannot take away from the performances of Winslet and DiCaprio.

“Actors can have a connection and know that they have clicked”

vides more evidence that if there’s no special spark off screen then there may be little that can be done for a pairing.

A notable point is that Cooper’s collaboration with Lawrence has earned him his Oscar nominations for both Silver Linings Playbook and American Hustle, and Lawrence in fact managed to take the Oscar for best actress home in Silver Linings and, as Cooper did, received a nomination for her role in American Hustle.

So maybe some pairings are ‘meant to be’.

In summary, there is no definitive answer. I’d give a guess in the direction of a good on screen rapport between actors is related to a good off screen relationship, but also a need for a good writer.

You could be Robert De Niro, but if the writing is bad t h e r e’s only so much you can do.

Returning to the pair on Hollywood’s top, in an interview where the subject of chemistry between the two was broached, Cooper said that actors can have a connection and know that they have clicked; but can struggle to tell if this will translate into the characters and onto the screen. This pro-

Quirky? Berky? Does it worky?

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hen a famous person decides to switch mediums there is always a certain degree of hostility. Even the multitalented Ryan Gosling is not immune to this phenomenon, his directorial debut Lost River was critically panned upon its Cannes premiere earlier this year.

With the personality-turned-director, the threat of the name overshadowing the work is most likely to follow with a viable claim being made that such opportunities could not have not even arisen had said personality had not already been well known.

Then again it might just be bloody awful, annihilating their career across all outputs.

For Richard Ayoade, this is thankfully not the case. Making the leap from acting to directing the actor, comedian and one-time Cambridge Footlights president has now released two very well received full-length features; Submarine, and The Double from earlier this year. With the release of his new book Ayoade on Ayoade: A Cinematic Odyssey it would appear, on the surface at least, that Ayoade is aligning himself with an innumerable amount of directors. Directors spanning from the likes of Alfred Hitchcock to Werner Herzog that have sanctioned books of collected interviews to provide an autobiographical perspective on their background and grant insight to their creative process. However to assume the same of Ayoade would be naïve, especially given his narrow track record. Despite this, by taking on the role of both interviewer and interviewee, Ayoade’s reflexive deconstruction of the director is indicative of his reinvention as a serious filmmaker.

Appearing as an actor in surreal cult comedies like Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace, Nathan Barley, and The Mighty Boosh – not to mention his BAFTA award-winning role as the socially inept man-child Maurice Moss in The IT Crowd, Ayoade has made his name playing a mixture of bizarre, brash char-

acters who don’t think before they speak. Since his foray into directing Ayoade’s public persona is much more calculated; in interviews he comes across as reluctant to cooperate, albeit in a polite and comedic manner. Those who saw his interview with Krishnan Guru-Murthy on Channel 4 news last month can vouch for this (it’s on Youtube if you didn’t catch it). But then again this is reflective of his films in general. They aren’t brash or in-yourface as The IT Crowd often threatened to be. They are meticulously styled, thoughtful and sincere, with nods to the French New Wave and an admitted indebtedness to his American contemporaries Wes Anderson and Paul Thomas Anderson.

His career has taken a similar trajectory to his sometime collaborator Chris Morris, who after the notorious (and hilarious) current affairs parody Brass Eye has gradually receded from the public

sphere in his own attempt to be taken more seriously. His debut feature Four Lions has been similarly revered.

Obviously not everyone is as equipped for directing as Ayoade and Morris. Lacking any sort of tact whatsoever, a film like The Room owes its popularity to the myths that surround its production history and antics of its star and director Tommy Wiseau. In various attempts to get his 500 page novel published in any format that would take it Wiseau proceeded to secure funds under dubious circumstances, replace his entire crew twice, and has since tried (and failed) to reclaim the film as an intentional black comedy. Bizarrely Wiseau’s retrospective embrace of the film as a cult oddity only adds to its legend, perhaps in the knowledge that he was actually making the best work that he could.

The Courier

reviewsfilm.23

Monday 10 November 2014

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“Can you imagine, for a moment, how depressing it is to teach five centuries of masculine ineptitude?” - The History Boys (2006)

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The Babadook (15)

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he Babadook is quite simply the best type of horror movie. I personally cannot stand horror that plays it safe with formulaic jump-scares and over-explains the premise to the point where it renders anything ‘frightening’ inert.

This is not one of those films. Jennifer Kent’s feature-length debut thrives off its own weirdness and madness in a Shining-like manner, inspiring an intense sense of dread as the inexplicable hits harder and faster than Jack Torrance’s axe.

The central premise is a cocktail of horror tropes, but Kent effectively puts it all into a blender until it becomes highly-original mush. A small child touched by the supernatural, a single-mother denying the existence of such things, the possibility of a monstrous patriarch; it’s all there in the film, but the execution of one mother’s slow descent into insanity is positively gripping to behold.

At its heart, The Babadook is highly touching and tender in its construction of a mother-son relationship. For a debut, it catches the essence of being frustrated beyond belief with your child perfectly.

Thanks to a superlative performance by seven year-old Noah Wiseman, it brings a lot of pathos to a genre movie that could be left without it. But Babadook has a hell of a lot of heart in its sensitive of single motherhood and a vulnerability which makes the later events of the film all the more horrifying.

And oh, yes, this film is horrifying. I’d go so far as to say that this is the scariest film made since 2011’s Kill List, and that wasn’t even a straight-up horror, so The Babadook is the scariest film in recent memory. Whenever night-time rolls around in the film’s run-time, you’re quivering into the back of your seat with anticipation. Kent’s film delivers massively, upping the stakes until the film culminates in a layered set-piece of psychosis. ‘Mister Babadook’ himself/itself is always kept in the shadows and Kent uses him/it sparingly to great effect. Babadook is a hysterically-creepy presence, whenever he/it arrives on the scene, the atmosphere drips with dread and a borderline sense of glee as his/ its presence scares you silly. Kent drops many red herrings throughout when she is building tension piece by piece, so much so that the sight of a coat or a simple knock on the door will have you reeling in terror.

Australian actress Essie Davis gives a great performance of naturalism and seething rage, anchoring the film when the atmosphere doesn’t nail it down with a kitchen knife. As I mentioned previously, Noah Wiseman is a child-star revelation, but it’s the genuine and awkward chemistry that gives The Babadook the power to touch and terrify.

Using an oppressive sound design and a drained colour palette to lay the atmosphere on thick, Jennifer Kent’s debut feature is a sign of true originality and very promising things to come. Don’t be put off by the intimidating reputation The Babadook has; it is a truly rattling experience and simply demands to be seen in cinemas with an audience.

BA-BA-DOOK-DOOK-DOOK (shake pineapple, push the tree…).

Serena (15)

The Book of Life (U)

Mr. Turner (12A)

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ive me any film with Jennifer Lawrence in it, and I’ll rave. Give me a film with both Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence, and I’ll wax lyrical like you wouldn’t believe.

Directed by Susanne Bier, the film is a visually sumptuous affair – the costuming for Jennifer Lawrence’s titular character perfectly contrasts the dreary landscape (the locations in Czech Republic mirror the unspoiled south of the story’s setting).

The gorgeous autumnal scenery provided a beauty to juxtapose the ugliness of the story.

The film follows power-couple Serena and George Pemberton over the course of their explosive marriage. From the moment the two characters meet on horseback, the chemistry between the duo is apparent and as their passionate marriage begins.

Soon the audience is struck early on by the impeding sense of doom, which is played out effectively.

Serena is a fascinating character – seemingly powerful, competent and intelligent enough to make the males around her decidedly uncomfortable, she paints a picture of a strong woman rarely found in depictions of 1920s female characters.

However, it is not a lasting impression. After a tragic miscarriage, Serena devolves into madness, focusing her newly-unleashed malice into a series of dubious acts and hatred towards her husband’s paramour. This build up is highly effective before leading into a terrifying finale involving arson, animal attacks, and a manhunt. Lawrence puts in a solid performance – she is brilliant in the first half of the film, but despite being an Oscar-winning actress, it does feel as though she’s struggling to capture the essence of Serena’s devolution into a madwoman and the motives behind her actions.

However, she and Cooper, supported by a wellchosen cast, make the unlikely events of the Depression drama believable. Definitely one to watch.

More like this: Revolutionary Road (2008) Iqra Choudhry

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he Book of Life is the latest animation film to enter cinemas, the story centres around the small town of San Angel on the Day of the Dead.

La Muerte (Kate del Castillo), ruler of the Land of the Remembered, and Xibalba (Ron Perlmen), ruler of the Land of the Forgotten, decide to have a wager. The prize: Xibalbe will get to rule the Land of the Remembered. The bet: which of the two boys from San Angel will marry their friend María (Zoe Saldana): Manolo (Diego Luna) or Joaquín (Channing Tatum)?

The film is absolutely beautifully animated; instead of the traditional style of animation, the characters are intelligent caricatures and have been made to look like wooden puppets. The Land of the Remembered was especially stunning as the characters had been given such unique looks and the entire land was full of vibrant colours and figures.

The Book of Life has got a great musical element to it as well, the songs are a mix of covers (including Radiohead and Mumford & Sons) and original songs. In my opinion, the original songs are the best, they are more directly related to the film and as a result convey the emotion of the scene much better. I was greatly impressed by the voice actors, but I’m not entirely sure about Channing Tatum as Joaquín; most of the characters from San Angel sound like they have Mexican influence, but Channing just sounds like a typical American. The only other criticism I have is that some of the jokes were a bit easy, though it’s forgiven because most of them were still chuckle-worthy and the film’s main target audience is, at the end of the day, children.

I definitely recommend this film as it’s an absolute treat for the eyes and the story is especially heart-warming, offering an instant feel-good feeling that lasts long after you leave the cinema.

More like this: Coraline (2009) Christa Tjadens

More like this: The Shining (1980) Simon Ramshaw

When beginning this article, I considered throwing you through a loop by writing about films involving actual cults and various other satanic delights, but I haven’t. Instead, here is a list of films that have spawned a similar zombie-like horde behind them. Cult films can often be created by being forgotten about at the box office or just plain despised by critics or general public who couldn’t handle the truth at the time; they’re unique, divisive, hated, later worshipped and all the more bloody brilliant because of that. So, join uuusssss...

This film is one I can never have a fixed opinion on. David Lynch’s debut was a five-year labour of love, with Jack Nance’s afro-sporting protagonist being drowned in the nightmarish landscape of fatherhood. Containing a mutant baby, radiator ladies and, well, ‘eraserheads’, Lynch’s undiluted horror fantasy is not easily forgotten.

Almost preordained to become a cult classic, Edgar Wright’s only leap across the pond so far specifically appeals to gamers and hipsters alike. A narrow target audience is brave, and for those who share such “tragically Canadian sensibilities”, the tale of Scott Pilgrim fighting the girl of his dreams’ seven evil exes is a beautiful assault of colour and wit.

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r. Turner is director Mike Leigh’s labour of love, a film depicting the twilight years of J.M.W Turner. Burdened with expectations of greatness by its association to those monumental works of the visionary romantic painter, it nonetheless distinguishes itself as a triumph of cinema.

Timothy Spall’s rendition of the man is real and affectionate. He is vulgar: playfully depicted with his father (Paul Jesson) eating a pig’s head at the film’s opening, both men bearing a disquieting resemblance to their meal. He is visceral, spitting into his paints, and carnal in his encounters with women, yet overflowing with sympathy in heartrending moments. Laughter is mingled with tears, but this is an unsentimental portrayal of the artist, warts and all. It is a reincarnation, which rightly earned Spall ‘Best Actor’ at Cannes this year.

The Victorian setting is also reborn with candid realism: whether the bustling markets of London, the dynamism of the Royal Academy of Arts, or the peacefulness of Margate. The inspiration of the artist’s paintings is traced in the beautiful land and seascapes he inhabits in Dick Pope’s award winning cinematography. A pleasant irony resonates when Turner expresses his dread at the emergence of the camera, hoping colour photography may long remain a mystery and so preserve his greatness: Leigh realises perfectly the power of film to renew the past, and his film immortalizes the art and the soul of Turner with every frame.

The sheer weight of feeling in this film, and the picturesqueness that adorns it, makes for a phenomenal experience. It passes subliminally before our eyes like the movement of the sun over one of Dick Pope’s vistas, unflinching and vital, refusing to moralize and wallowing in its own warmth.

Mike Leigh’s creation is undeniably as majestic as when we stand before an original Turner.

More like this: Dorian Gray (2009) Teddy McDonald

The most recent film on this list, this polarising sci-fi from Brit Jonathan Glazer split opinion violently down the middle. But for those that love it, there are few things more cult than the abstract adventures of Scarlett Johansson’s predatory alien picking off the population of Glasgow.

Arguably the best film since Star Wars to spawn a religion, the Coen Brothers’ ode to detective novelist Raymond Chandler is a delirious blend of stoner comedy (Jeff Bridges’ The Dude is an iconic creation), mystery thriller and high-stakes sports movie (it’s bowling). Mark it eight, Dude.

My favourite film, never mind just my favourite cult film. Nicolas Winding Refn’s Drive is a rare film which, within three years, gained instant cult status through its intense 80s stylisations and simply the protagonist’s satin jacket, emblazoned with a scorpion on its back. Doesn’t get more icy cool than that.

Simon Ramshaw

24.tvhighlights

Monday 10 November 2014

The Courier

TV Editors: Helen Daly and Ellie McLaren Online TV Editor: Rebecca Dooley

I can’t even In this week’s I Can’t Even, Online TV Editor Rebecca Dooley gets angsty over crappy TV endings

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veryone loves television right? So the heart-rending moment when you allow yourself to get hooked to a TV show; become gripped to the storyline; attached to the characters and then are dealt a huge WTF in the ending, is universal. It feels like your programme has stabbed you in the back after being such a faithful and avid watcher. Whether the show is ending because it is getting cancelled or by it’s own choosing it is still no excuse to turn round and give us some shitty excuse of a resolution.

Often these WTF moments come when, due to a show’s popularity, it is remade. But not satisfied with merely copying the tropes of the programme, they try to adapt it slightly and put a new spin on it. Aka-ruining it. A perfect example of this is the captivating Life on Mars, which revolved around the question: is Detective Inspector Sam Tyler dead, mad, in a coma, or has he actually travelled back in time to 1973 after being hit by a car. The original UK version delivered a brilliant and gripping ending (which was even voted #1 in The 50 Greatest TV Endings) wherein after a tumour is removed in Sam’s brain he escapes his coma and returns home, but after finding his original life dull, jumps off a building to return to 1973. In the US version, we instead discover Sam Tyler is an astronaut on a mission to Mars and whilst plugging into the computer software, which allows some bizarre neural stimulation in sleep, it had a blip and created 1973. Literally WTF is that ending, damn you Americans.

“Whether you dedicated six years - or two and a half weeks as I did (I lived and breathed watching Lost on Netflix) finding out what happened to everyone from the Oceanic 815 flight was a truly WTF moment”

Ultimately, the show with the most controversial ending is Lost. Whether you dedicated six years - or two and a half weeks as I did (I lived and breathed watching Lost on Netflix) -finding out what happened to everyone from the Oceanic 815 flight was a truly WTF moment. With such a cult following and a two and half hour slot to fill for the finale, you would have thought that the critically acclaimed Lost would have provided an amazing ending, answering all the burgeoning questions we had compiled along the way. Whilst it was a truly fascinating ending, as we discovered that everything on the island did happen, and that the “flash sideways” universe was a type of purgatory, it left a lot unanswered.

While some viewers might have been happy with the ability to construe the ending in multiple ways, I was frustrated at the lack of direct answers. What was the significance of the numbers (4-8-15-1623-42)? What were Walt’s ‘special powers’ and how did he have them? Who makes/controls the rules of the island? The writers seemed to pick up and drop these issues on a whim, curing certain people of illnesses and giving immortality to whomever they saw fit. How did Desmond have the ability to resist the island’s electromagnetic powers and eventually “wake up” the others in their purgatory universe? What is the purpose of creating subplots if you don’t resolve them Lost? Eh? Maybe they hoped we’d just forget about them in the chaos and information spew they threw at viewers each episode. But I’m still not over it, really Lost, WTF?

The Fall

BBC2, Monday, 9pm

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eries two of Irish-British crime thriller The Fall has been long-anticipated by fans of the first series like me who still feel on edge from the cruel cliff-hanger we were left dangling over last year. However, it seems like we’re all in danger of being pushed over that cliff before getting to see the conclusion of the first series’ finale, as the bandwagon is jumped upon and becomes a lot more squished this time round, thanks to EL James and her mummy-porn extravaganza.

Jamie Dornan, who was recently announced as Christian Grey in the film franchise of 50 Shades, plays our protagonist, and addictively good-looking serial murderer, Paul Spector, alongside Gillian Anderson (of The X Files and Hannibal fame), who plays DI Stella Gibson. Drafted in from London,

DI Gibson is on a mission to hunt down and capture the psychotic villain causing chaos in the already fraught landscape of Belfast, whilst also battling her own demons.

In the first series, we saw Spector flit from doting daddy, to serial killer and sexual deviant seamlessly. His obsession with overpowering young and attractive professionals made for captivating, yet repulsive, viewing as we followed his psychological journey and wondered what the hell he was doing it for. Rather than the stereotypical villain we are used to – where evil is at his core – the juxtaposition between the two sides of Spector we see in each episode just adds to our awe and confusion at this character, inspiring lashings of praise for not only the script writers, but also Dornan for managing so well in his presentation of this complex individual.

Throughout last series, I was terrified that Spector was going to make Gibson his next victim; yes, she didn’t fit his ‘type’, but he seemed to be increasingly obsessed with her and it would be a pretty

Atlantis

Elementary

BBC One, Saturday, ...

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reat news Atlantis fans, BBC 1 is going to return the show to our screens for a second season. For those of you who don’t know or remember, Atlantis was the BBC’s way of filling the Merlin-shaped hole in all our hearts when the latter series finished. It slips nicely into Merlin’s shoes, combining the genre of fantasy and mythology that we know and love with the attractive hero and slightly ungainly sidekick, though in this case our main character takes the heroic position.

While last season set the scene for a potential second series, there was doubt and fears amongst fans that it may have copied Merlin in its vanishing act. However, earlier this year BBC announced the beginning of filming and we now have a definite answer- it’s back.

The show retells the story of Jason from Ancient Greek mythology and stars Jack Donnelly (Jason), Mark Addy (Hercules), Robert Emms (Pythagoras), Juliet Stevenson and Sarah Parish (Pasiphaë).

The inclusion of these ancient figures adds a nice family orientated element to the show as it educates the younger audience whilst entertaining the older viewers.

So what can we expect from Season 2? The fifteen-second teaser reveals: a potential battle, the return of last season’s enemy and the usual increase in pyrotechnics, sword fighting, romance and slightly disappointing CGI. Atlantis will be back on our screens on November the 15th as our Saturday night’s entertainment; everyone please try to contain your excitement and wait until then.

Kassie Hopewell

Sky Living, Tuesday, 9pm.

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lementary, the weird-yet-brilliant American take on British staple Sherlock Holmes, returns to our screens with series 3 on the 11th November. It will be airing on Sky Living as usual and just seems to be moving from strength to strength.

The second series ended with Watson leaving the apartment she shared with Sherlock, who had taken a job with MI6 to pay Mycroft back, for everything he did earlier in the season. But we have to question how this will affect the dynamic of the show, will Joan and Sherlock remain working together, or pursue more independent routes? Will Joan have to return to the apartment as his sober companion? Considering that at the end of the final case, Sherlock picked up a wrap of heroin, this can only be an indication that he has been or will be heading into relapse, either over the show break or when it returns on the 11th.

So we come to the third series with a lot of questions. Questions that must be answered. It looks from the trailers as if we’re going to be getting a lot more of kick-ass Watson scenes, as one scene released sees her taking on Sherlock’s new ‘partner’ (ARGH) at singlestick, and the trailers are full of Joan readying for fights.

But despite Sherlock’s apparent new partner, there are still a lot of shots with Joan and him together, so not that much can have changed. I am definitely looking forward to the new series and will be ready and tucked up to watch it on release.

Sophie Baines

big statement to kill the police officer hunting you down. Who can blame him for his obsession? Let’s be honest, she’s good looking and a lot stronger than his wife, who was a bit of a pushover, really. When the police came knocking at the door, she lied for him, no questions asked. To cover his tracks, he falsely confessed to having an affair with their 15 year old babysitter, who is infatuated with him. What would you rather be, a serial killer or paedophile?

The finale of series one witnessed Spector’s closest shave yet as he was very almost captured by some rowdy locals and didn’t manage to actually kill his victim. Desperate to commit the ‘perfect murder’, a desire that grows after it arises one of his victims was pregnant. Cue anguish and almost capture in a rushed attempt (yes, the serial killer actually felt some guilt, can you believe it?). And with the increasing profile the police are building up, alongside the photofit and the still-alive final victim, series two has a lot to work with.

Ellie McLaren

Hotel of Mum and Dad BBC3, Monday, 9pm.

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otel of Mum and Dad is a six part series following couples facing the transition from living with the ‘rents to going it alone and buying their first property together.

Bills, budgeting, cooking and cleaning– the show documents the difficulties these couples face as they leave behind the luxury’s of mum and dad and finally take on some responsibility.

In the new series, we meet Millie and Ben from Leicester, and Emma Jayne and Matt from Grimsby. The first of the two pairs have been ready to fly the nest for some time but struggle due to unemployment. Though they get off to a good start, finding a cosy little flat not too far from home, the experience seems to slowly spiral downwards.

Watching Millie blow their weekly food budget purely on makeup, nail varnish and pizza is very painful. Not surprisingly, her other half isn’t best pleased either.

Engaged couple Emma Jayne and Matt seem to have a slightly more successful week alone; even managing to muster up a roast for mum and dad (amazing, I know). Things get a bit icy, however, as Emma struggles to locate the gas box; a real tender-hooks moment for all.

Though the show is actually attempting to consider more serious issues of unemployment and constantly rising housing prices, this element is lost under the presentation of pampered, lazy twenty–somethings, and it becomes much more comical than educational. All in all it is an easy and enjoyable watch, despite inspiring fury at the cluelessness displayed.

Charlotte Davies

The Courier

featurestv.25

Monday 10 November 2014

thecourieronline.co.uk/tv c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_tv

They’re celebrities, get them in there With a new series imminent, and speculation rife about who will be entering the jungle, we asked our writers who their dream camp-­mates would be Boris Johnson I want him to be starved out long enough to see how much of the buffoonery is a cultivated persona. And seeing him eat kangaroo testicles would give joy to anyone who can’t stand him.

Lauren Hickin

Mary Berry Mary Berry can do no wrong. She is a goddess. I don’t want her to be in the jungle because I want to inflict pain on her, I want her in the jungle so she can so just how badass she is. She could rule the world, never mind the jungle. And think of the meals she could rustle up with witchitygrubs.

Ellie McLaren

Jordan (Katie Price) Personally I’d send Jordan, I’d send her over and over and over again until people got bored of paying attention to her extraordinarily boring life and she just stopped.

Forever.

David Leighton

Karl Pilkington Although he has experienced tough conditions on An Idiot Abroad, I’d love to see how he manages to survive without his Pickled Onion Monster Munch or his Hobnobs. The conversations he would have with the other celebrities about the living conditions/tasks would be hilarious.

Drew Baxter

Richard Simmons I’m a firm believer that every reality TV show needs an aggressively flamboyant gentleman to keep the other contestants’ moods in check. Enter Richard Simmons. Not only does this guy have a heart the size of the sun, this guy’ll keep everyone slim after they’ve ate all them bloody grubs.

Jamie Shepherd

Russell Brand

What better opportunity for Russell Brand to test-drive his revolutionary civilisation than in the steamy Aussie jungle? Partly because I’m pretty sure any combination of celebrities and him would be spectacular, and partly because what society really needs is to see him eat a kangaroo testicle while shouting his manifesto, this one needs to happen.

Leila Nashef

Ricky Gervais

Ant and Dec They’ve played the evil puppetmasters and overseers for far too long: it’s definitely time for national treasures Ant and Dec to enter the jungle (as one contestant, a la Jedward, obviously). Time to put those golf clubs down.

Ellie McLaren

This one comes with the prerequisite of Karl going in to the jungle. The pair would be incredible. What I mean by that is, Ricky would have Karl running left, right and centre, whilst taunting him to eat whatever nasties the jungle has to offer all with that cheeky grin on his face. Priceless.

Helen Daly Illustrations by Nina Hamer

Maggie Smith Judi Dench It’s not that I want to see her have to force down a vomit-fruit., I just feel like if I were sleeping in a hammock every night - getting eaten by mosquitoes and listening to the annual crybaby whinging about how they stood on a pointy leaf, Judi’s wisdom could get me through the night.

Leila Nashef

Every clan needs a matriarch, and Maggie Smith is the Ubermensch of matriarchs, able to beat those C-list nonebrities into whimpering submission. With roles as the Dowager Countess Grantham, Professor McGonagall and Miss Jean Brodie under her belt, Smith has buckets of icy froideur, and more authority than Putin chairing a meeting of your local Brownie chapter.

Kate Bennett

Diary of a TV Addict Hannah Bunting

S

o many new, exciting TV shows, so many new ways to download, stream and GIF every moment of every episode.

Ok, so perhaps ‘beautiful’ might seem a slightly inappropriate word for the moment you find yourself staring bleary-eyed at the computer screen at 3 o’clock on a Sunday morning after a 12-hour Breaking Bad marathon.

It’s a mixed blessing, and not just from an academic perspective (“I missed your 9 o’clock lecture because the episodes kept ending on cliff-hangers” is not an email anyone wants to send). The real problem is the show you’re not watching.

You never quite got around to adding this show to your viewing schedule (too busy re-watching all ten-million episodes of Friends, probably). Now, suddenly, the fandom explodes: a kickass new character is introduced, the series begins to move in a darker and edgier direction, or those two inhumanely attractive stars you’ve always seen trading barbs on the trailers finally get it on. Whatever the reason, your interest is roused, and there’s no stamping it down now.

“‘I missed your 9 o’clock lecture because the episodes kept ending on cliff-hangers’ is not an email any one wants to send”

You have two options at this point: a) Continue as normal. Try to push away the rising FOMO. Hope that never watching [insert TV show here] doesn’t hang over you for the rest of your life, plaguing your every waking moment. b) Accept the inevitable, and dive on in.

If you chose the first, then congratulations!

You’re probably going remain a cheerful, rested, well-rounded individual, or as close to that as any student can possibly come.

If you chose the second, then this is normally the point that you realise that the show is already eight seasons in. Refusing to be disheartened by the prospect of hundreds of hours of dedicated viewing time, you plunge on in. Kiss your grades, your sleep schedule and your loved ones goodbye, because you’re not going to be seeing any of them for the foreseeable future.

Then the second realisation strikes: that character, the one who so effectively snared your attention? Yeah, they’re not going to turn up for at least five seasons. Before that, it’s an endurance race, while you plough through that shaky first season and desperately try to work out how this ugly duckling avoided being cancelled long enough to become a swan.

Sometimes you don’t make it and, disheartened, you move on. Other times, something sticks: shows like Parks and Recreation and Buffy the Vampire Slayer evolve enough to entertain in their own right, even beyond the anticipation of Spike’s first appearance or the moment when you finally understand why people keep telling you to ‘Treat Yo’self ’.

Whether or not those sleepless nights pay off, you’ve made an impressive commitment to being part of the TV in-crowd. All those hours of hours of TV rack up, and that amount of dedication has got to be an achievement, right?

Right?

The Courier

tvfeature.27

Monday 10 November 2014

Homes under the planner

A handy guide to the TV shows that every self-­respecting layabout student should be watching, compiled by TV Editors Helen Daly, Rebecca Dooley and Ellie McLaren Homes Under Jeremy Kyle Loose Women

Morning

ITV1, 9.25am Breakfast wouldn’t be the same without scoffing at our Jezza belittling and ranting at the unfortunate people on his show through a bowl of Cheerios. Whether you agree with his methods or not, it’s impossible to deny how entertaining watching people battle out their domestic issues on our screen is.

Afternoon

Escape to the Country BBC One, 3pm You’ve had a tough day full of lectures and seminars and you just want to chill out with a bit of escapism.

There’s really nothing better than the definition of easy viewing: Escape to the Country.. Not only do you get to take a trip with Nicki, Alistair and Jules along the beautiful British countryside, but you can also mooch around people’s houses without feeling like a creep – score!

Evening

It’s sometimes difficult to watch a full episode of Jezza, but thankfully the BBC have an alternative.

Homes Under The Hammer depicts the thrilling landscape of the auction room and follows property developers turn hovels into homes.

Surprisingly addictive and even a bit educational, so no need to feel guilty about missing that lecture.

Pointless BBC One, 5:15pm An afternoon is not complete unless it is filled with a dose of Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman. The best thing about the show is that the smugness you feel when you manage to find that golden pointless answer and have complete bragging rights amongst your friends. It really pays to know the entire cast of The Office sometimes you know?

Top Gear

Coronation Street

BBC One, 8pm

ITV1, 7:30pm

It may be the most widely watched factual programme in the world but Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May’s hilarious and often-controversial conversations are the true heart of Top Gear- never mind the motor vehicles. With different celebrities competing for the best times in the reasonable priced car and the infamous Stig, Top Gear has become a staple for evening TV.

Weekend

The Hammer BBC One, 10am

Strictly Come Dancing

BBC One, 6:30pm

In the battle for the Saturday night viewing figures, it makes sense to watch both of the competing parties. Strictly brings some glamour that rival show The X Factor can’t.

The costumes, the dances and of course, the celebrities all make for excellent viewing. Of course the best bit about it, for me, is the bad dancers; at least I know I can dance better than some of them...

Right?

It’s been a fixture on our screens for over 50 years and we still can’t get enough of the kitchen sink drama.

Corrie has become famous for its down to earth depiction of the working class in Manchester, and we simply ignore the illogicality of anyone new ever moving to the street with its plague of misfortune on every occupant. Because really is there anything better than settling down to watch Corrie with a nice cuppa?

The X Factor ITV1, 8pm Now for the second of the rivals. Saturday night would literally be incomplete without a slice of reality TV, in a perfectly polished parcel. I’ll admit it: I can’t stop watching The X Factor. It has become a part of my Saturday night entertainment ritual. This series has been a corker, with genuinely good singers, like Jay James and Lauren Platt, and the slightly ‘less serious’ acts such as (my personal favourite) Stevi. Love it or hate it, you can’t argue with Dermot: your Saturday night does start here.

ITV1, 12:30pm Loose Women is a particularly good watch if you enjoy putting yourself through pain. Their whiney voices, their often confrontational opinions, their Z-list celebrity guests: the list goes on. Although you’ll almost smash your TV up every day, it’s just too compelling and vaguely useful in providing a dumbed down guide to what’s going on in the world.

Come Dine With Me Channel 4, 5pm Ah, the jewel in Channel Four’s programming crown; Come Dine With Me is a truly majestic show. Full of cattiness, wit and swag (and that’s just from the narrator), the show is not really about the food; it’s about the arguments, the tears and the sheer over-confidence from the contestants which you know will be shot down at some point during the week. Golden viewing.

Keeping Up With the Kardashians 4Music, 8pm Whether you love or hate them the Kardashian clan have certainly become a household name over the past few years.

There is admittedly a secret pleasure in watching the brood’s exploits unfold and having a peek inside the professional and personal aspects of their lives.

Even if sometimes the highlight of an episode can be watching Kim K having her arse X-rayed to prove she hasn’t got implants.

Sunday Brunch Channel 4, 9am On the extremely unlikely occasion that you find yourself awake at 9am on a Sunday, I imagine that you just want to have a bacon sandwich and s good chill-out. Enter Sunday Brunch with those two lovable pranksters Simon Rimmer and Tim Lovejoy to brighten your morning. Sunday Brunch literally has everything: from food to fun, Tim and Si sure know how to brighten up anyone;’s Sunday morning.

28.music

Monday 10 November 2014

The Courier

Music Editors: Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly and Chris Addison

Electronic Blanket Our intrepid club cavalier Max Palmer-­Geaves brings us disco inspired musicians from Oz, edgy dubstep from London and Berlin techno

Sneaky Vibes ‘Berlin Calling’ @ WHQ- November 10th The crew at Sneaky Vibe Productions is flying over five techno DJs from Berlin for a night of controlled mayhem. Their marketing is pretty cool as they haven given no clue as to who these five might be and their advertising is minimalist at best; the way I heard about it was through two of my mates being told about it themselves by a shady looking bloke in a car park. The cultural mash up of Newcastle’s house scene and Berlin’s famous techno scene is sure to make for an interesting night. Also, it’s more affordable which is good news for anyone who’s skint.

Listen to: Function – ‘Disaffected’

Sulcus (Alexander Nut) @WHQ- November 14th This should be an interesting night and is my pick of the week. Sulcus would appear to be a new night and for a first event they couldn’t have chosen a better statement than Alexander Nut. Known worldwide for fusing genres from all over the world with his darker, underground UK influences his sets are usually very special. A three-hour set is bound to be no exception especially as he will be bringing his vinyl collection; so expect soul, dub and house all mixed seamlessly as Nut blends genres. If that doesn’t sound like enough of a wholesome, good-time vibe, Sulcus will also be opening at eight to showcase some of the cities up and coming artists’ music for an open-minded crowd interested in newer and darker sounds.

Listen to: Alexander Nut - ‘Afrobeat and Highlife Special’ Pirate Material with Digital Mystikz @ WHQNovember 13th All of the nights recommended for this week are being held at World Headquarters, although I would argue that Digital Mystikz is probably the best use of the space. It’s the perfect venue for the creators of the legendary DMZ label. Mystikz are comprised of Mala and Coki, who are two of dubstep’s most innovative sons. Dubstep has become almost a taboo term these days after the influx of artists like Skrillex flooded the scene. Originally dubstep was a small close-knit group of producers influenced by the dub aesthetics that have always been prevalent in the London sound. Expect deep, soulful delay infused tracks. If you need any convincing listen to the suggested track below- an example of the UK dubstep sound before it was turned global and bastardised.

Listen to: Digital Mystikz – ‘Anti-War Dub’ You Need to hear this:- Flight Facilities Now to those of you in the know, its obvious that Flight Facilities have been around for ages, throwing out gorgeous disco inspired singles such as ‘Foreign Language’ and ‘Feeling’ since 2010. There have been a string of singles but until now never a full length LP. However after a long wait Down To Earth is soon be released, I’ve managed to get my hands on a copy and can tell you it is an absolute corker. If you’ve never heard of them you can be forgiven as until now they have remained relatively confined to their home touring the circuit in Australia- you should probably go and give them a listen though. Rarely do artists consistently put out music influenced by the past that still sounds as innovative and fresh as these two do.

Listen to: Flight Facilities – ‘Crave You’

Photo by: pstmn

Live: Royal Blood at Riverside

Beth Evans took on the two piece with a big buzz and a bloody big sound to match it

T

his was the autumn tour that sold out in two minutes. I was one of the lucky ones who had the privilege of seeing the band everyone’s been talking about since they exploded on the scene after their slot at the Arctic Monkeys’ Finsbury Park gig. This band was Royal Blood.

I have to admit I didn’t listen to much of Royal Blood before the gig. I had only been exposed to the blatant advertising hype surrounding them but I was so intrigued by the fact that they’re the new rock band being shoved down our throats (with their debut selling more than The Strokes and The Libertines’ debuts). The big question for me was do they really deserve all the hype that’s been bestowed upon them?

The place was filled to the brim with fans desperate to see the duo come on; an eclectic crowd of ages and music tastes. It’s amazing and baffling how this rock duo from Brighton has drawn such a following.

Their support, the eccentric alt-metal band Turbowolf, riled up the crowd for a night of chaos and mayhem and then a strobe of green light illuminated the myth that is Royal Blood.

The boys kicked off with the new song ‘Holes’, which warmed everyone up for the spectacle that ensued. Crowd sing-alongs such as ‘Figure It Out’ and ‘Come On Over’ were played surprisingly early on, throwing the crowd into a vicious frenzy and making me feel so relieved I was safe on the balcony from the wild carnage taking place below.

There were times through the set where it sounded a bit samey, especially for the non-hardcore fans such as myself. The energy that exuded from their set could have been compared to something from the Black Keys and Queens of the Stone Age. Towards the end of the set drummer Ben Thatcher descended into the crowd, walking through almost

Honour Is All We Know Rancid

Christ-like, making the crowd go wild for them. It’s hard to resist their appeal.

The best moment of their set was the penultimate song ‘Better Stranger’, which had the crowd chanting along “follow!” at the top of their lungs, creat-

“The penultimate song had the crowd chanting along at the top of their lungs, creating a euphoric sense of togetherness”

ing a euphoric sense of togetherness for everyone involved.

They were pitch perfect. It was as if they’d been doing this longer than a band who’ve only just released their debut album earlier this year. Mike Kerr’s bluesy drawl and Thatcher’s primal drumming on their blaring anthems makes them definition of what you’d expect a rock band to be. The only downside was that their set was not nearly long enough, which considering they only have one album, is fair enough. If this is what it’s like after one album, who knows the heights they’ll be at by this time next year.

1989 Taylor Swift

H

onor Is All We Know is a fierce articulation of over twenty years of the typical, Punk-y anti-establishment anger that has seemed to not yet have depleted during maturity. It is a nineteen track behemoth effort yet the tracks are rapidly conquered by the old-timers of Rancid.

‘Back Where I Belong’ is a rampant, middle-ofthe-action opener to the album that asserts their musical prowess in the niche league of Punk-Rock.

Obviously, this is their return to where they belong. It does not take them long to divulge in political slurs, with the second song ‘Raise Your Fist’ and many of the subsequent tracks preach a similar message of standing against “oppressive power structures” etc etc. You know the score.

The songs ‘Evil’s My Friend’ and ‘Everybody’s Sufferin’’ are underlined by brazen two-tone guitars. These tracks seem like soothing interludes amongst the raging whirlwind of hammering drums and the throaty screams of Tim Armstrong on the other tracks of the album. These two anomalies on the album give you the time to retreat from the angsty, Rancid juggernaut and go to your happy(ish) place.

I do not want to enter the debate of whether or not punk is dead, but Rancid are trying to keep the throbbing heart of punk alive in their fingertips with their eighth instalment. The majority of the band are cracking on to their late-forties and early fifties, but the energy that is splattered sonically on this album is admirable: shrieks from a senior punk vocalist, heavy bass lines and a ferocious thundering of drums from the word go and until the last gasp on the album.

Connor McDonnell

1

989 is a career defining album for Taylor Swift. That’s not me starting off this review by saying how brilliant this record is. It’s just a simple product of Swift’s decision to create a fully-fledged pop album, which means that she has in a way turned her back on the country roots that kicked off her music career. So no matter how you look at it, 1989 is either going to be the next big step in this starlets career, or the beginning of the end.

Lucky for Miss Swift then that 1989 isn’t just your run of the mill pop album. Evoking the classic pop energy of the 1980s whilst remaining true to her lyrical depth, 1989 is a gamble that proves it’s worth it the more you listen to it.

Kicking things off with ‘Welcome to New York’ is the biggest signal that this is a big and bold pop album. Backed by fuzzy synthpop beats that have this unnatural quality to make you smile, the track finds Taylor telling us all about the great city that is New York and why we should come and join it. The chorus may be irritating with the repetitive hook, but Swift’s exuberant vocal delivery fizzles in all the right ways, creating a pop track that has that immediate knack of getting stuck in your head.

“1989 is a gamble that proves its worth the more you listen to it”

It’s that exuberant energy and quirky personality that seeps through the entire record in a way that can’t help but be captivating. From the fairy tale wordplay of ‘How You Get the Girl’ to the powerful energy of lead single ‘Shake It Off ’, it is just great to hear Swift having fun, and not sounding lifeless like some of her fellow pop stars.

That energy is matched perfectly by the production value, with Swift teaming up with some juggernauts of the pop genre. If you don’t know who Max Martin is, you will definitely have heard one of the many pop songs he has helmed, and his keen ear for melody teams perfectly with Swift’s pop vision. Likewise Fun’s Jack Antonoff proves his worth: already a fan favourite, the pulsating bass and looping backing vocals of ‘Out of the Woods’ evoke 1980s pop to great effect, whilst still sounding thoroughly modern. It’s a slice of Taylor Swift that feels both new and vintage at the same time, and definitely needs the single treatment in the future.

“It’s a slice of Taylor Swift that sounds both new and vintage at the same time”

The pop sheen of 1989 definitely creates a great energy to the album, but Swift manages to maintain that lyrical depth of emotion that has made her a bonafide star. Whether it is the self-deprecating quality of ‘Blank Space’ or the cathartic release of the Imogen Heap collaboration ‘Clean’, Swift still gives her music a sense of lyrical honesty, tainting every track with a personal essence even when relying on big pop hooks.

1989 is a record that was worth the risk. Swift does what few popstars can actually do: make a record that is both fun and emotionally engaging in equal measure. I for one am glad she’s gone full out pop on the world, because she’s an artist that can pull it off in the right way.

Chris Addison

The Courier

music.29

Monday 10 November 2014

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_music

Live: Katy B at the O2 Academy Iqra Choudhry went WR VHH WKH ¿ UVW ODG\ RI UK funky in action

With the news that Willow Smith has changed direction, Liam Keeble explores how this compares to other child stars

I

t’s mid-week and the temperature has dropped drastically, but that doesn’t stop the multitude of people coming to see Katy B (the ‘B’ is for Brien, fact fans) at the O2 Academy. It is the last date of her Little Red UK tour, and the queue stretching around the corner is made up of older dubstep fans, pre-teens with their parents and students, and they’re all looking forward to the gig.

When the lights go down for the first time, the O2 Academy is just over half-full. Becky Hill takes to the stage. Unfazed by the crowd size, her infectious enthusiasm and excitement soon have the audience singing and dancing. It’s clear from the first that Hill isn’t the most experienced of performers – her communication with the audience is jittery, but it’s equally clear that it’s a matter of experience; stage presence comes with time. Hill’s charm and impressive vocals more than make up for her lack of experience.

A mash-up in Hill’s set nods to the three songs she featured on and is recognised for (‘Afterglow/Powerless/Gecko (Overdrive)’), but her own infusion of catchy electro-infused pop gives her a chance to show people what she can really do. Songs like ‘Get Down’ and her latest single ‘Losing’ win the crowd over. She leaves the stage to applause, cheers and a room that has definitely been won over.

Katy B is dazzlingly professional in comparison – her years on the touring circuit show in her performance. From the first beats of ‘Hot Like Fire’, Brien and her backing dancers have the audience spellbound. The light and sound engineers in Brien’s crew deserve recognition for the dazzling display

Talking Heads

W

they put on – the show is visually and sonically impressive. Brien’s charisma has even the most reluctant member of the crowd (me, probably) dancing, clapping and cheering her on.

The set is full of catchy songs from Brien’s sophomore album Little Red, from singles ‘Crying For No Reason’ and ‘5AM’, to album standouts like ‘Next Thing’ and ‘Sky’s The Limit’. Katy is no stranger to mixing her live performance up too – ‘Broken Record’ is mashed up with Baby D’s ‘Let Me Be Your Fantasy ‘ and ‘Easy Please Me’ with Lauryn Hill’s ‘That Thing’.

Brien is also capable of slowing it down; a performance of ‘Everything ’ is dedicated to her late brother – it’s a heart-wrenching performance of a song she wrote for him when he was critically ill in hospital, and definitely brings a lump to the throats of listeners.

But it’s Brien’s encore that has me a complete and devoted convert – her stellar performance of ‘Lights On’ has me wanting more. I think I may well be queueing up for Katy B in the cold next time she’s on tour.

O

U

n first listen I didn’t want to like the album, but I did. There is something compelling about Kills music that sets her apart from other pop artists, with her music having a vitality that I find intriguing.

At the same time I found myself hating the album for different reasons. The title’s and hooks of each of the tracks just seem too obvious and clichéd, whilst the way Kill’s try’s to use rock music in the tracks is just off putting for me.

This is an album that shows Kills has potential but still stumbles into the pitfalls of other pop artists. I can definitely see myself dancing along to tracks like ‘Problem’ some point in my (drunk) future, but this record won’t be finding its way onto my daytime playlist anytime soon.

Charlie Bunce

Album club Each week we rescue an album from obscurity and get four writers to give us their take. This week: Natalia Kills’ 2013 modern pop classic Trouble

“The rock tones create a layer that make me invest in Kills music much more than anything stars like Rihanna put out”

T

he record was a state of hit and miss for me. I liked certain tracks like ‘Problem’, ‘Stop Me’ and ‘Trouble’, and I think that there is something about the album that is fun in a way that makes me attack life head on.

The problem is that everything else just kind of meshes into a state of trying to be cool and different from everyone else, but somehow manages to miss the mark each time. Whether it’s the clichéd rhymes of ‘Boy’s Don’t Cry’ or the I-had-a-bad-childhood sappiness of ‘Daddy’s Girl’, Natalia Kills just seems to be trying too hard, and that is what makes me hate the album when I should be loving it.

Trouble isn’t half bad and I will be sure to listen to songs like Problem when I am in the mood, I just wish Natalia Kills does better in the future.

Fran Lane

pon listening to Trouble by Natalia Kills I was pleasantly surprised with what I was greeted with. I usually give electropop and dance-pop a disgruntled sigh: the music is usually a mash-up of previously used chord progressions and melodic ideas, altered to fit into a formula which is designed to sell millions.

Trouble, however, is different. The beats hit you in every song with rhythmic variation and an increase in texture maintaining interest in the music.

This is particularly prominent in ‘Problem’ and ‘Trouble’. Her gritty voice also adds colour to the music.

The typical pop elements are there, such as the stereotypical chordal progressions and memorable choruses. Despite this, I have been left intrigued by what Natalia Kills has to offer, and I hope that she can offer a breath of fresh air to the stagnating pop music scene in the next few years.

George Suddaby

“The problem is that everything else just kind of meshes into a state of trying to be cool and different from everyone else but manages to miss the mark each time”

T

rouble is an interesting album that traverses the pop landscape in a much more invigorating way than other run of the mill pop albums.

I like the fact that Kills’ sings about her family dynamics and delves into her past on some songs, even if other tracks venture into clichéd lyrical territory about boys and sex. The production is also really cool, with hard hitting beats that capture my attention in a way that I haven’t really heard before, with the rock tones creating a nice layer to the album that makes me invest in Kill’s music much more than anything stars like Rihanna put out.

‘Problem’ and ‘Daddy’s Girl’ are personal highlights, and whilst the album as a whole isn’t without its flaws, things are dynamic enough for Kills to actually stand out. Hopefully this artist can capitalise on the promise that she shows and take her music to exciting new levels in the near future.

Christopher Addison

e have seen it happen time and time again. A harmless youth steals the world’s heart in a stellar rise to fame only to tragically fall from a pedestal too high.

Some kind of damage is inevitable; whether it be personal or musical or both, there are few, if any, young stars who are not in some way changed by fame. Just look at Michael Jackson and Justin Bieber: both were pushed to immortalise themselves in youth, one became unquestionably troubled and the other rebelled completely and cannot seem to stay out of jail.

But could this all be about to change? Could one young star be about to show the world she can evolve and develop in the music industry to make something really worth listening to? Willow Smith may have the answer. The star of the undoubtedly over the top but incredibly popular single ‘Whip My Hair’ is back and her new sound will most definitely shock you. The ridiculous lyrics, commercialised sound and all that hair have gone and, with stripped back, obscure beats and sparse atmospherics, Willow Smith’s upcoming EP 3 is going to be an impressive affair.

At a recent show at The FADER FORT presented

by Converse, Willow was joined onstage by her brother, Jaden (now sporting all the hair Willow has lost and a lazy rap style to match) and collaborator and friend SZA. They obviously won the crowd over with a batch of electronically soulful tracks that showed an individual and innovative style buried deep in the veins of modern hip-hop.

Willow Smith looks to be the young star about to turn all the stereotypes on their head.

“Willow Smith could, like a ticking time bomb, be on a predetermined path to a catastrophic downfall” Smith’s new sound and obvious ability to evolve her music promises longevity and credibility in the music industry but, at the same time, Michael Jackson rose to fame in a similar way, evolving his sound after leaving The Jackson Five before something clicked and the descent began. Willow Smith could, like a ticking time bomb (or perhaps a ‘Wrecking Ball’ in Miley Cyrus’ case), be on a predetermined path to a catastrophic downfall.

What is different, however, is that Willow Smith, unlike those before her, is doing something that she actually wants to, developing her own musical style rather than one that pleases the masses.

Stars like Michael Jackson, Britney Spears and Justin Bieber started out their careers young and have continuously been exploited by the industry to please a mass audience for years until a breakdown was the only way out.

With inspiration from the sparse and soulful side of modern hip-hop, acts like THEESatisfaction, and a vocal styling not unlike that of Rihanna, Willow is establishing herself as a real star in the music world. One who can play the game without getting taken advantage of like so many before her.

She is a true talent with an opportunity to do what she wants; this freedom is what makes her different. This, however, is also what makes her future so uncharacteristically promising.

30.gaming

Monday 10 November 2014

The Courier

Gaming Editors: Sophie Baines and Ben Tyrer

Attack of the clones

Developers love to borrow the odd idea or two.

Matthew Ball wonders if the practice is a problem

I

n today’s day and age, an original idea is about as hard to find as a piece of Earth undiscovered by humans. That is to say, it’s quite hard. At this point, the number of viable original gaming ideas and mechanics are dwindling - and when a new successful idea pops up, developers are quick to capitalise.

That’s why there’s no real surprise in developers re-using mechanics and ideas from other games on the market to make their game seem better and hopefully be better too.

The analogy extends to an artist. An artist creates their style by a mix of personal talent, references, and other people’s art, and it all comes together to create (what is hopefully) a masterpiece.

So, that’s art, now let’s move back onto games.

There’s a bit of a problem with the gaming and technology market in general in that no-one quite knows what the next big hit is going to be. It’s as likely to be a random game about shooting birds at pigs as it is a triple-A release about the horrors of war.

The gaming market and its trends move fast; and I mean fast. It’s why the bandwagon effect is very pronounced in the video game industry, especially when a game centres on a single mechanic. Look at Minecraft for example: it brought the concept of crafting as a central mechanic and, as a result, a lot of other games now seem to have crafting systems in some shape or form.

Then you have the horror game market which focuses on one or two key ideals in that you can either hide from the big bad monsters and have no way to fight them, or you go around a story which happens to have big bad monsters which pop out at you every now and again.

And with the recent release of Lords of the Fallen, which takes a lot of inspiration from the Dark Souls series, we can see another mechanic being passed around the schoolyard of gaming for everyone to inspect and have fun with.

As to whether or not the practise is bad or not really depends on what you like in a game. If you are a fan of games like Dark Souls, this would be akin to Christmas coming early as you have a new game which is like Dark Souls, but that you can play now without waiting for another sequel. If you hate the formula then it’s just another game not made for you.

At this point in the whole video game life cycle, it’s no longer a point of who can make the original ideas, either. A lot of original ideas are just plain bad or unrealistic; some even sound like the next big thing, then turn out to be completely worthless.

Of course, even within all these games that are copying one another, you’ll still find some innovation from game-to-game, but when you have formulas like Dark Souls that work and draw in masses of people with every release, who can resist borrowing the odd idea or two?

Protagonists: silent or speaking?

Talky or tight-­lipped? Josh Hills and Jack Taylor go head to head over one of the biggest writing decisions a developer has to make Jack: The silent protagonist gives me the freedom to step into their shoes

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t’s a difficult argument between the two, when each type of protagonist works better in different situations and types of games, and a lot of the time it is personal preference.

However, having the freedom to play as any type of person you want to has always been more immersive for me.

What sets games with unvoiced protagonists apart from films, books and any linear narratives, is the fact that they are even more of an interactive experience allowing a form of ultimate escapism.

Unvoiced protagonists offer us the chance to question our morality, or throw it completely out of the window. They enhance a games’ replayability (I’ve made more Skyrim, Oblivion and Fallout 3 characters than I can count) and allow you to choose from multiple narratives, essentially letting you play a seemingly different game every playthrough.

“Mute protagonists enhance a game’s playability, and allow you to choose from multiple narratives”

Mute protagonists further allow you to dive into the role of the observer,. Voiced protagonists allow you to engage more with the personality of the character you are playing as, but voiceless protagonists allow you to engage more with the beauty of the entire world you are immersed in. Overall, both voiced protagonists and unvoiced protago-

App Review: Clash of Clans

C

lash of Clans is a game released and managed by Supercell. Essentially the game is a strategy village manager, with the added fun of being attacked by random people at any point, and the joy of clan wars.

I picked up this game about 4 months ago, because my friend was bugging me to, she was in her brothers clan, and decided she wanted to have real friends in her clan, rather than her brothers mates.

So that’s how I was drawn into this madness.

Now, it’s four months later, I have a level 7 castle, 140 troops, 5 builders and a spell factory. And I WANT MORE. This game is way, way too addictive to be healthy.

I’m constantly thinking I’m going to delete it for my sanity, but I never manage to follow through with it.

It has perfectly hit the balance between constantly bothering me for real-life coins and pretending that I don’t need to spend money on it to progress.

I’ve managed so far to resist the urge to bury my student loan into this game. But I’m going, I can feel it. My resolve is breaking.

All in all, this game is excellently constructed for social, and lonely people. Me and my aforementioned friend are now in a clan all by ourselves and we abuse each other constantly on the clan message boards. To the extent that we’re starting to think it’s not appropriate to let anyone else in, lest they think we hate each other.

Clash of Clans is one of the best app games I’ve ever played (maybe only beaten by Godus) - and I don’t think I’ll be able to bring myself to drop it anytime soon.

Sophie Baines

nists have their strengths and weaknesses, and some of the best games I have ever played involve voiced protagonists, but for me personally, the unvoiced wins it.

Josh: Voiced protagonists enable a greater depth of story telling

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dmittedly, the ‘better’ option is completely contextual, but there are a number of problems that story-based games struggle with when they adopt devices such as silentprotagonists.

It does afford a decrease in linearity and a greater sense of association and immersion for the user in control, however games with a depth of lore and character development are always rooted in a fixed narrative- even the loosely veiled ‘choose-your-ownadventure’ books of yore.

Although the blank, implantable title-role is the sui generis of game storytelling, it involves quantifying our humanity to sets of interlocking variables, which are therefore not fully representative of real relationships or motivations. Regardless of a player’s personal affection for a voiced protagonist, if they’re well written they force you to align yourself with their persona, discomfort in tow,

for a unique experience that isn’t simply concocted around the unpredictable main-role.

Video-games allow you to adopt a different life as a release from reality, and these escapades manifest best under characters that are iconic, interactive, and discussable- not mere exposition thrown across an invisible barrier at countless unknown, unassuming participants. Ultimately, employing a voiced-protagonist enables a greater depth of story-telling immersion, and remains resolute with the creator’s intended vision - which is invaluable.

Although one will never consume the other as a preferred device, it’s important that game designers consider the most specifically appropriate choice, instead of the easiest.

Reload: The Simpsons Hit and Run Kizzie Hall loads up The Simpsons Hit and Run and partakes in a frenzy of driving, destruction and taxing

O

f the numerous open-world adventure games out there, I still think none of them quite reach the fun factor of The Simpsons: Hit & Run. Countless hours were spent on this game as a ten-year-old, exploring every corner of Springfield in the Plow-King, smashing through fences and driving off cliffs, having the time of my life.

The game told the story of strange kidnappings taking place in Springfield, as the town was dominated by robotic wasps and mysterious Buzz Cola advertisements on every billboard. It was unique in many ways, with seriously fun missions of racing aliens, destroying vehicles and subsequently losing the cops. Plus, there were plenty of distinctive secondary missions, such as helping Comic Book Guy romance Agnes Skinner: how sweet. In addition, gathering collectables in this game was actually fun - can you believe it?

“Even if you weren’t a fan of the show, it was still incredible”

The writing was spot-on throughout the game, and you felt like you were in your own episode of The Simpsons. As a long-time fan of the show, I loved how faithful the game was to its origins, it felt like you were in the Springfield from the show. The playable characters - Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Apu - each brought something different to their levels, with classic catchphrases and story missions

that suited them perfectly: ‘I AM EVIL HOMER! I AM EVIL HOMER!’ or ‘I am a lean, mean speed thingy!’. Homer arguably had the best quotes, of course. There were constant references to legendary episodes for fans, which echoed through the choice of vehicles and outfits for the characters. Some examples include the Mr Plow truck, the Homer car, Marge’s prison clothes and Apu’s Be-Sharps outfit.

Numerous gags kept the game comedic and fresh, from an irritated Patty and Selma working at the DMV, ignoring the school bus smashed through the wall, to the unfortunate Jasper, trapped and frozen in the Kwik-E-Mart freezer.

Even if you were not a huge fan of the show, Hit & Run was still an incredibly enjoyable game. The increase in difficulty was definitely apparent as the story went on, giving you a real challenge. The races were much more intense, with the clock ticking away before you. I was in primary school when the game came out and my whole class knew about it, and loved it. A wave of fear would overcome us when talking about that notorious final mission of the game, and we had a reverence for anyone who had managed to beat it. Admittedly, it took me some time to finish that final mission; I felt triumphant and proud. Yet, as the final cut scenes played and the credits rolled, there was a sense of melancholy that the game was over. As soon as the main menu was up on my screen, I clicked ‘New Game’ at once, ready to do this all over again. You know you played a good game when you feel that way.

The Courier

gaming.31

Monday 10 November 2014

thecourieronline.co.uk @Courier_Gaming

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Gamergate: The Bad & The Ugly Ben Tyrer & Sophie Baines

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The Bad

ne of the terrible things about Gamergate is how it has poisoned the debate about ethics in games journalism. There are so many reasons why this is a conversation that needs to be had – we all remember “Doritogate”, with that stark image of Geoff Keighley – one of the largest figures in the world when it comes to games journalism - looking utterly defeated against a backdrop of corporate sponsorship.

Advertising interests brush up against the professed objectivity of reviewers all the time – we need only remember how Jeff Gerstmann, longstanding and beloved GameSpot editor was famously fired for giving Kane & Lynch a negative review back before the site saw major internal restructuring. How effective are advertisers at pressuring journalists into writing a positive spin? How chummy should reviewers be with the people making the games they are ostensibly critiquing? These are all valid questions to ask, but Gamergate simply clouds the discourse. There’s no sincere interest in discussing how the industry could improve – only personal attacks made by anonymous keyboard warriors who gurgle with delight at every insult made, taunting tiresomely “You can’t catch me, I’m behind seven proxies!”

Even more wrenching to think about is how

many well-meaning but unaware would-be activists Gamergate has swept under its wing.

There are those out there who don’t realise what Gamergate is really about – the flat out harassment and psychological abuse of women game in the industry, merely for daring to have a say in the evolution of the medium – and are putting their energies into it completely misguidedly.

This is to the movement’s great advantage, as it lends it a strong mask of legitimacy to hide behind while its more clued in members continue to harass and engage their targets over social media, by phone and via letter.

Ultimately, the worst of the bad is simply the loss of potential future talent. Who can blame anyone, man or woman, for looking at the mess that is Gamergate and deciding game development isn’t for them? Every day this damaging movement continues – and it does continue even when the headlines don’t reflect it, you need only read Zoe Quinn’s blog or check Anita Sarkeesian’s twitter feed to see that – we are losing out on the creativity and ideas of the games developers of the future. We’re losing developers more and more as discussions like this go on. While it is important to discuss, it should never be personal.

But it can’t really be that bad though, right? You have no idea. Read on and discover… The Ugly.

eople love a good movement. When people are passionate about something, there can be little else better than rallying behind it and championing for something they believe in.

The people who play games are passionate folk, and their passion for the medium manifests itself in lots of different ways.

Sometimes we see that old English classic, the petition, out in force and demanding ever so politely that a game be ported from one platform to another. Stuff like this occasionally works – it’s why we have the Souls games on PC. Other times we’re treated to genuinely uplifting moments like the huge success that was the Extra Life charity stream in late October, where countless gamers raised money for sick children by doing what they do best – playing video games.

Sometimes the movements aren’t so uplifting.

Sometimes movements become politicised, distorted and despite noble intentions become a negative force in our culture. ‘Gamergate’, however, cannot fairly be counted as one of those movements, because it never had noble intentions. From its inception it has been an insidious attack made by a mob of people so afraid that their ‘secret tree house’ has been discovered that they will go to ridiculous – and frightening – lengths to secure their perceived isolation in a cultural echo chamber that reflects how they think games should be made. Disguised as a discussion on ethical practises in games journalism – and let’s be clear, it was never about that the movement is really a vehicle for the harassment and bullying of anyone who would dare to suggest

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$Q RYHUYLHZ RI WKH HYHQWV WKDW GH¿ QHG WKH RXWUDJH Women in the industry who supported Quinn are subject to similar abuse, threats of violence, and doxxing. Some are so concerned they temporarily leave their homes.

Those behind the movement allege they are primarily concerned with ethics in games journalism, an argument refuted by their targets.

August 2014 Zoe Quinn’s ex-boyfriend claims she slept with a games journalist, leading to abuse of her through Twitter and other social media.

Actor Adam Baldwin is reportedly the first to use the Gamergate hashtag after retweeting bloggers critical of Quinn and her (unconfirmed) practises

The Ugly

o. The ugly. And trust me, it’s pretty goddamn ugly. As mentioned before, Gamergate started off as a question of journalistic integrity, and somehow its become a barrage of trolling and genuinely vicious attack on many prominent members of the gaming community.

A lot of the nastiness started with accusations that Zoe Quinn, an indie game developer and creator of Depression Quest, had slept with a journalist. The accusations were initially made by Quinn’s ex-boyfriend, who also stated this lead to positive coverage of Depression Quest. The accusations have not been confirmed at the time of writing this article.

This lead to a whole array of unsavoury attacks on Quinn, incuding not only her home address being posted online, but the also a spraypainted ‘slut’ across her door. She eventually had leave her home in fear of her life, due to death threats and threats from members of 4chan that they would rape her. In the following days after this, several members of the gaming community were verbally attacked on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and through personal blogging.

The harassment and abuse was mainly focused upon women, including Briannu Wu and Anita Sarkeesian. Sarkeesian is a prominent feminist

Gamergate timeline

that games are for everyone – not just a select few.

The targets are, as Zoe Quinn (an independent developer who bore the original brunt of the attacks) points out in her blog, powerless to effect the kinds of change in the industry Gamergate professes to care about, are disproportionately women or feminists and, significantly, aren’t even games journalists. The result is a campaign that not only muddies the waters on the issue of journalistic integrity – a discussion that does need to be had - but ultimately hurts the very thing Gamergate ostensibly seeks to preserve – the games industry. Nothing puts the creative and technical geniuses of the future off faster than death threats and vitriol, as it happens.

It’s all over an illusion, of course. The truth is gaming is more diverse than ever - a recent study by the Entertainment Software Association shows that 48% of the gaming population is now made up by women. The Gamergate crowd is already too late. What they are so militantly defending no longer exists – and we should be thankful for it.

This feature will showcase the bad and the ugly of Gamergate – the missed opportunities for actual discussion and, more scarily, the unbelievably ugly things people are capable of when the mob mentality kicks in.

The good, if any can be found, has been in the overwhelming rejection of the ‘movement’ as a whole. It’s great to see so many call bullshit when they see it, and band together for a cause worth championing – the diversification and inclusion of as many people as possible into our wonderful pastime.

Operation Disrespectful Nod begins, which manifested as an email campaign to encourage companies to pull advertising from sites which were disparaging against the Gamergate movement, or defended their targets.

Intel withdraw their funding from Gamasutra as a result, bringing Intel under critique from the media, and others who oppose Gamergate.

critic in the gaming community and much of the harassment has been directed at her. Not only was she also forced from her home due to her address being posted online, and near constant death threats, she had also had to cancel talks and curb her movement in the country because of bomb and gun threats on her life and the lives of attendees to her talks.

The most prominent of these threats were made to a talk that she was due to present at Utah State University, where a threat was made upon her life and the attendees.

The movement has turned into a barrage of disgusting events, that are horrible and sexist at their core. The vicious threats and attacks have turned what was a movement in journalistic integrity, into something foul and gross. Despite many gamers speaking out against gamergate, it was mainly female participants in the discussions, including Felicia Day, Brianna Wu, another woman who had to leave her home due to fears for her safety, and it is unsurprising in many ways. The gaming community is often a hostile place for women, and the Gamergate events of the last few months have once again thrown into light the outwardly misogynistic and vicious thoughts some of the community have towards women and those not generally considered ‘gamers’.

WikiLeaks wade in on the debate in late September.

Stating, through Twitter, that while WikiLeaks do not find the Gamergate movement particularly interesting, they encourage the questioning of the media in a broad sense.

October 2014 Anita Sarkeesian defends Quinn in conjunction with her video series Tropes Vs Women In Video Games and receives similar abuse.

November 2014

Anita Sarkeesian cancels a talk at Utah State University following an anonymous threat to commit a shooting if the talk went underway.

As we write, the debates are dying down, at least on a public level. Which leaves any gamers in an odd position.

Give Gamergate credit for questioning journalistic integrity, or condemn it entirely for its vicious attacks upon women?

It’s a difficult question, but as Business Insider UK stated: “Gamers are having a bizarre debate over whether sending death threats to women is a serious issue”.

32.science&technology

Monday 10 November 2014

The Courier

Science Editors: Laura Staniforth and Penny Polson Online Science Editor: Jack Marley

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he future is finally here. Smartphones and social media, 3D printers and Google Glasses: once wildly imaginative sci-fi inventions are now a regular staple of our reality.

The 21st Century is filled with film fictions that became fact, and many more may be on the way.

40 years on from its original release, Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey is being remastered and relaunched to coincide with the British Film Institute’s scifi season. An iconic masterpiece, it’s vision of the future features some out-of-this-world predictions that are now well within the realm of possibility.

HAL 9000, the film’s all-seeing artificial intelligence system, is scarily similar to Siri, the iPhone personal assistant. Creepily calm, even as he malfunctions and begins murdering crew members, HAL is designed to politely cater to the crew’s every need. Supposedly the most reliable computer ever made, HAL is slightly superior to Siri, who can barely understand ‘set timer for ten minutes’. Bless him.

Speech recognition isn’t the only thing tying the two together, with Siri responding to a Space Odyssey reference. Just ask him to close the pod bay doors (a quote from 2001 2001) and he’ll bust out his best HAL impression. Microsoft’s equivalent phone A.I., Cortana, also has a sci-fi connection, sharing its name and voice with a character from the Halo video game series, first released 13 years beforehand.

Commercial space travel has taken a hit in recent days with the unfortunate fatal crash of Virgin Galactic SpaceShipTwo rocket during testing, but billionaire Richard Branson has promised to persevere in advancing the burgeoning industry.

2001 envisioned private flights decades ahead of its time, with space stewardesses and anti-gravity aeroplane food. Galactic tourism may be the next

step towards an interstellar future, as promised by every nerdy film since Star Wars.

Marty McFly’s famous Image: Tracky_Birthday hoverboard from 80s classic Back to the Future is one of the most recent science fictions turned fact. The Hendo Hoverboard is the world’s first electromagnetic levitation board, hovering just one inch off the ground for up to seven minutes, and costing $10,000 on Kickstarter. The board should float “forever” according to its creator - “as long as it’s plugged in and not disturbed too much”, and it only works on magnetic surfaces. Admittedly this one seems more backto-the-drawing-board than

Back to the Future, but it’s a step in the right direction.

“Commercial space travel has taken a hit in recent days with the crash of Virgin Galactic SpaceShipTwo rocket during testing” The hoverboard isn’t the only current example of sci-fi predictions coming true. Researchers at the Australian National University recently demonstrated a working tractor beam repelling and attracting particles: a staple of the Star Trek world, albeit on a minute scale. The optical beam caused the particles to boldly go where no particles had gone before (i.e. 100 times further than in previous experiments).

A Harry Potter style ‘Invisibility Cloak’ is also currently in development at the University of Rochester in New York, using lenses to create a region of invisibility.

Such research could

lead to real world applications, with suggestions that technology could eradicate blind spots, as if by magic, making vehicles appear transparent to their driver. However, it’s difficult to see whether this invention will be commonplace in the future.

Pun intended.

“Researchers at the Australian National University recently demonstrated a tractor beam, a staple of the Star Trek world, albeit on a minute scale”

Sci-fi books and films appear to have prophesised many modern day inventions, and the trend will only continue thanks to the increasing use of real science in many movies. Specialist scientific supervisors allow for increased academic accuracy on screen. Examples include Prof. Brian Cox’s work on Danny Boyle’s Sunshine and Kip Thorne, colleague of Stephen Hawking and Carl Sagan, supervising the serious physics involved in Christopher Nolan’s new epic Interstellar.

The idea that future innovations have already been envisioned on the screens of the past, and the present, is certainly an exciting one. Who knows what will be next to make the quantum leap from science fiction into the realm of reality?

Image: Alexkerhead

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hen we think of space exploration, one word springs to mind: NASA. They own everything and does everything associated with space, right? Well, in actual fact, India has its own space programme and has done for just over 50 years.

The Indian government set up the Indian National Committee for Space Research (INCOSPAR) in 1962, only 4 years after NASA was formed. This committee devoted its time to researching the upper atmosphere using rockets. But after a few years in 1969 the Indian Space Research Organisation (ISRO) superseded INCOSPAR and was set up by Dr. Vikram Sarabhai, who is widely regarded as the father of Indian space research. The ISRO’s main objective is to develop space technology and its application to various national tasks.

“The Mars Orbiter has been a key feature of the Asian Space Race between India and China, as India’s Mars Orbiter is the first of any Asian country to reach Mars” It wasn’t until 1975 that India launched its first satellite Aryabhata into orbit, which was named after an Indian astronomer. The satellite was

launched using a Soviet rocket, as India was still developing their own launch rockets. India didn’t reach self-reliance until 1979 where Rohini was the first satellite to reach orbit by an Indian rocket, the Satellite Launch Vehicle. The ISRO currently have 3 rockets at their disposal: the Polar Satellite Launch Vehicle, the Geosynchronous Satellite Launch Vehicle and the Geosynchronous Satellite Launch Vehicle Mark-III. To-date, India has launched over 70 satellites, including navigation satellites and Earth-viewing satellites.

Is the past few years, ISRO have made some big leaps, comparable to that of NASA or the European Space Agency. In 2008, India launched its first satellite to the moon, Chandryaan-1, which was primarily used to map the moon’s surface using various cameras.

India also

launched it’s own Mars Orbiter in 2013, the first of any Asian space programme.

The Mars Orbiter has instruments onboard designed t o

study t h e physical features of Mars and gain an insight into the Martian atmosphere, specifically methane, a tell-tale sign of life on the Red planet. The Mars Orbiter has been a key feature of

the Asian Space Race between India and China as India’s Mars Orbiter is the first of any Asian country to reach Mars and is the first in the world to be successful on its maiden voyage.

“As ISRO looks towards the future, it is eyeing the possibility of a manned spaceflight - predicting maiden flights in 2016” As ISRO looks toward the future, it is eyeing the possibility of a manned spaceflight. In 2007, the then Chairman, G. Madhavan Nair announced that the agency was considering manned space missions and predicted maiden flights to take place in 2016. ISRO are currently developing a low-Earth orbit vehicle and unveiled a prototype early this year, but is still waiting of approval and funding from the Indian government.

ISRO are still developing future unmanned missions. Later this year, ISRO have planned the launch of a reusable launch vehicle demonstrator to evaluate the possibility of a true reusable launch vehicle, probably akin to the late Space Shuttle. Another mission to the moon is also in the pipeline, named the Chandryaan-2, which includes a lander and a rover and more satellites to study the Sun and other celestial objects are planned for launch.

The Courier

technology&science.33

Monday 10 November 2014

thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_science

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t’s a fact that humanity will have to leave the cradle that is Earth. The question is though, where to next?

Terraforming (Earth-shaping), is the process of altering the atmosphere, temperature, topography or ecology of a planet/moon in order to make it suitable for habitation by the species of Earth.

While the various planets and moons of our solar system may seem wholly inhospitable, many are theoretically colonisable with a little TLC or butchery, depending on your view. The most promising of which is Mars, the Red Planet, thanks to a combination of proximity to Earth (a stone’s throw at 9 months travel time) and presence of frozen water at its poles.

So we’ve chosen our planet; now what? Well Mars’s atmosphere is pretty dilute compared to ours, 100x less dense in fact. We need to change

that. Luckily, Mars has huge quantities of CO2 frozen at its surface and with a little help from global warming we’ve got an atmosphere to die for… sort of.

“How do we heat up said planet you might ask? Nuke it?

Um, now the planet’s radioactive so that won’t do”

How do we heat up said planet you might ask?

Nuke it? Um, now the planet’s radioactive so that won’t do. Construct massive mirror arrays to deflect the Sun’s rays onto the planet’s surface? That’s more like it! Now we have an atmosphere of CO2 further heating the planet in a similar fashion to our own greenhouse effect. Next we need to activate the hydrosphere and for that we need water.

By directing our mirrors at the poles we can target and subsequently melt the water locked-up in the permafrost beneath the surface, freeing up our beloved H2O in droves.

Finally, we need to oxygenate the planet enough to sustain plant life. Again, we turn to our mirrors.

By targeting deposits of oxygen-containing compounds within the Martian soil (nitrates and super-oxides), we can release enough oxygen into the atmosphere to support higher plants. That, along with the presence of water from our previous efforts, will begin the production of an oxygen rich atmosphere.

Mars may well be our first attempt at terraforming, but with a range of other potentially habitable planets including: Venus, Titan (Saturn’s largest moon) and Europa (one of Jupiter’s moons) one thing’s for sure: it won’t be our last.

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here’s no doubt that women going into space doesn’t get the coverage it deserves.

Children’s space toys are always depicted as male figures of science and prowess, whilst little attention is given to the females who go into space. Thus, instead of discussing all the Buzz Lightyears of space, let’s give some coverage to the Bess Lightyears.

Currently of 535 astronauts that have ventured out into the unknown, only 58 have been female.

Valentina Tereshkova of the former Soviet Union was the first woman in space, in 1963. She was selected of over 400 applicants, following the notion that a woman should go into space. This notion came into being following the success of Yuri Gagarin (first person to venture into space).

Whilst one of the reasons Tereshkova was considered an appropriate candidate due to her father being a war hero, the driven female flew into space at the tender age of 26, much younger than the men on board the flight. Following her mission, she took a strong interest in Soviet politics and be-

came a rather prominent figure. However, on her 70th birthday at the Putin residence, she shared a trinket of her love for outer space; she wanted to

make a trip to Mars, even if it was only one way.

Following this great first, a number of women began venturing towards space programmes. A further 18 women ventured into space between 1982 and 1992. However, in 1992, there was another significant first. On September 12th, Mae Jemison was the first black woman in space. She was inspired by her burning interest in science, astronaut Sally Ride (1963) and the depiction of Lieutenant Uhura in Star Trek.

“Of 535 astronauts that have ventured out into the unknown, only 58 have been female”

Illustration: Daisy Billowes

NASA accepted her application and Jemison was always keen to highlight that space belongs to all nations- no matter what their race or origins may be. She is the first of a small selection of ethnic minority women to venture amongst the stars.

So you want to be an astronaut?

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ver wanted to go where no man has been before? Ever wanted to walk on Mars? Ever wanted to see if zero gravity is really as cool as it looks? Well as someone who from a very young age has answered yes to all of the above, here is my no-nonsense guide to becoming a star sailor!

Many budding astronauts never even meet the criteria demanded by organisations such as NASA, who only formally hire 20 people per candidate selection. Not only do you have to be super athletic, not-liable to motion sickness, intelligent, have perfect vision but also be between 5ft 1in tall (157cm) and 6ft 2in (190cm).

Other NASA criteria include: U.S. citizenship, a Bachelor’s degree in engineering, biological sciences, physical sciences or mathematics from an accredited college or university, and three years of related professional experience after obtaining the bachelor’s degree or at least 1,000 hours in jet aircraft as the pilot in command.

“So including pre-application education, astronauts are in training for 8 years” Still meeting the criteria? Good job, now all you have to do is go through one of the most brutal training programmes created in a professional environment. First up is the preliminary examination before formal training begins, involving the completion of the NASA long-duration, space flight physical exam, to ensure your body can withstand the stress of a space launch and the zero gravity environment. In addition applicants must demonstrate distant and near visual acuity, correctable to 20/20 in each eye, and must not have blood pressure that exceeds 140/90 measured in a sitting position.

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So you’ve made it past application. Next is a gruelling week of personal interviews, medical screening and orientation to see if applicants have got what it takes. NASA selects about 100 men and women for each candidate class, who report to the Johnson Space Centre in Texas for two years of training.

During these two years the ins and outs of the International Space Station (ISS) and the Russian systems must be learnt off by heart. In terms of physical training, if you can’t become a qualified SCUBA diver, tread water for 10 minutes and swim 125 metres, both in tennis shoes and a flight suit, then you’re out.

If the candidates make it through all this with nothing less than flying colours, then they may be selected for space flight. The not-so-lucky portion often goes forth to be higher-ups in the military.

Those that do make the grade receive their first mission in the next five years.

Once you are chosen, candidates receive mission specific training. Long-duration missions aboard the ISS generally last from three to six months and require two to three years of preparation.

So including pre-application education, astronauts are in training for 8 years. If you’ve got that much time on your hands to devote yourself to the stars, then go for it. The sky is no longer the limit.

The Courier

puzzles.35

Monday 27 October 2014

Puzzles 1

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Puzzles Editor: Kate Bennett

Courier Catch-­ phrase

See if you can guess (catch) the common idiom (phrase) shown in these picture combos?

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“I’m Roy Walker and I heartily endorse this event and/or product”

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1 Antagonist in A Nightmare on Elm Street (6, 7) 8 Important component of Haribo, made from cows’ hooves (7) 9 Small protective hat you put on your finger when sewing (7) 10 Catholic prayer beads (6) 11 Shock and _ _ _, US military tactic (3) 12 Flowers with star-shaped heads (6) 14 Deep-seated, irrational fear (6) 15 Fireplace (6) 18 Layer in the earth’s stratosphere that absorbs UV rays (5) 21 Lowest point (5) 23 Dairy product made from coagulated milk, eaten by Little Miss Muffet along with whey (4) 24 Shout (4) 25 Variants of a chemical element with same number of protons but different neutrons (8)

For even more news, views, sports and culture, make sure you head over to thecourieronline. co.uk

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1 The Marriage of _ _ _ _ _ _, opera composed by Mozart (6) 2 Former immigration inspection station in Upper New York Bay (5, 6) 3 Cleaning substance (9) 4 Immanuel _ _ _ _, 18th century German philosopher (4) 5 Topsy-turvy; the Jesus and Mary Chain’s debut single, released in 1984 (6, 4) 6 Member of the X-Men, skills include card throwing and controlling kinetic energy (6) 7 Welsh cheese on toast (7) 11 Snake used by Cleopatra to kill herself (3) 13 Lager and lemonade mixture, drunk by Southerners (6) 16 Father Christmas’ catchphrase (2) 17 Props (5) 19 King of the Greek gods (4) 20 Reflection of sound (4) 22 Pixie (3)

Word Link

3 7

4 2 8 6 7 2 9 1 3 4 5 1 6 1 3 5 7 9 1 6 8 2 5 7 8 4 Vein

Bare

Needle

_ _ _ _ _ _

Find the word that con-­ nects these three words.

Hint: Used in sewing

36.sportfeatures

Monday 10 November 2014

The Courier

From  mousterpiece    ,Q OLJKW RI WKH 0RYHPEHU WUDGLWLRQ ZH WDNH D ORRN DW WKH PRVW HFFHQWULF VSRUWLQJ Eva  Samkova Nigel  Mansell One story you may have missed from the Winter Olympic Games in Sochi earlier this year belonged to a 20 year old Snowboarder called Eva Samkova.

The Czech became a fan favourite after adopting a drawn-on moustache, in the colours of her national flag.

The young athlete claimed the moustache brought with it good luck and went on to claim gold in the Snowboard Cross event. Are we witnessing the start of a female moustache revolution?

One can only think as the England Womensâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Footballers take to the pitch at Wembley to face Germany later this month, they should each have the cross of St. George drawn on their upper lip.

Photography: Getty Images

Calum Wilson

What is there to say about this incredibly iconic British sporting moustache?

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s thick, bushy and does not extend down to the chin. It is certainly one I would dream to emulate during Movember but will fall woefully short.

The thick moustache became an iconic image of British sport during his most successful spell in Formula One. The moustache will certainly take some beating in Formula One paddock thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s for sure with Sebastien Vettel posing with an awful fake ginger one after beating his record of 14 pole positions in 1992 in 2011.

Having shaved it off after his Formula One retirement in 1995, it recently made a re-appearance during the illfated Japanese Grand Prix last month.

Michael Rowan

Graeme  Souness The perm headed poster boy of the 1970â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s/80s Liverpool team. Graeme Souness not only dominated the midfield of the Premier League but also the facial hair rankings. With a moustache that could only be described as monstrous, not so dissimilar from his playing style, Souness was certainly a show stopping player from all angles. Primed perfectly on his upper lip the pristinely permed â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;stache looked as at home as it would have on a wild western bandit. Up there with the best, Souness and his moustache menaced not only the League but even Europe during his playing career.

Photography: Getty Images

Photography: Getty Images

Hulk  Hogan The mighty moustache of wrestlerturned TV presenter Hulk Hogan has remained iconic ever since he broke into popularity in the 1980â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, and has only seemed to get blonder with age.

The unmistakable handlebars makes the twelve time champion iconic to anyone, even those without an ounce

of interest in wrestling, as the athlete turned to acting and other television based roles.

At the age of 61, Terry Gene Bollea (Hoganâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s real name), the terrific-stache is surely dyed to itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pristine shade ofâ&#x20AC;Ś yellow?

But that hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stopped Hogan mar-

Photography: Getty Images

Lynsey Brownlie

Tim  Lincecum Born in Bellevue, Washington, Tim Lincecum, a pitcher for the San Francisco Giants can share the pains of many a mature adolescent with his woeful contribution to the world of facial hair.

With the look of a Magnum P.I-inspired GCSE student, Lincecum attracted plenty of hostility throughout the Major League Baseball media for

his pre-pubescent moustache. But itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s perhaps Lincecum whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have the last laugh after he signed for a further two year deal with the Giants to the tune of a tasty $35 million.

Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hoping he can buy some hair growth cream, with all the spare change he has earned.

George Clarke

Photography: Getty Images

Mike  Cowan The superstars that receive the spotlight dominate sport. Ronaldo. Bolt. Tiger.

These celebrities are the ones that attract crowds and earn huge sums of money.

However, let us never forget about these other players. The â&#x20AC;&#x153;workhorsesâ&#x20AC;?, the â&#x20AC;&#x153;graftersâ&#x20AC;?, the â&#x20AC;&#x153;team-players.â&#x20AC;? I doubt Mike Cowan has ever made a top ten list before. In fact I doubt anyone knows who he is (Jim Furykâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s golf caddie).

And thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the point. Growing a moustache takes patience, determination and a burning desire to trim. This entry isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just for him, and that wondrous walrus on his upper lip, but for all those that keep the world of sport spinning.

Harry Musson

Photography: Getty Images

rying twice, including allegations of an affair - so the whitewashed whiskers are certainly a hit with the ladies, and with a net worth of around $8 million, it definitely has not harmed his bank account either.

Alex Hendley

The Courier

sportfeatures.37

Monday 10 November

to catachtrophe µWDFKHV LQ RXU TXHVW WR ¿ QG the best and the worst of all time Manny Pacquiao Joey Barton The living boxing legend, Manny “PacMan” Pacquiao has sported a moustache since the early years of his boxing career. Dubbed by some as the dirty squirrel, Manny has carried his moustache and chin stubble with him into the political arena of Philipines, where he has served as a Congressman for four years now.

There have been parodies of the Pacquiao-stache by rapper, Drake who sang the popular Disney song, “Let It Go” looking like the boxer. In response, Pac-Man returned in kind by singing his own rendition of the song, taking this positive publicity in jest.

Photography: Getty Images

Starting off as a promise to be shaved if the Magpies shocked Manchester United, Joey Barton himself was beginning to resemble a bit of a devil with the facial hair on his upper lip. His moustache did little to hide his baby face appearance, however did a lot more to enhance his bad boy reputation.

Although it helped him win the Toon’s team challenge, it appeared to

have more of a fashion faux pas effect on the pitch. After a long awaited triumph over Villa, Barton parted ways with his infamous ‘stache. The loss of Barton’s facial hair was a sight that may well have brought devastation to the masses of Geordies who loved that horrible piece of facial hair history.

Lynsey Brownlie

Photography: Getty Images

Huezin Lim

Luke Cowan-­Dickie Much like his Exeter Chiefs counterpart Jack Nowell, Luke Cowandickie sports a fine piece of upper lip artistry. Sporting a curly haired mullet and a renaissance style moustache in somewhat the same style as Nowell, it is clear to see that there must be something in the water down in Devon.

You would not be too wrong in thinking that Cowandickie was in a BBC period drama about the burning of witches. Standing at 6”0ft and weighing in at 112 kilos, it would not be wise to tell him that he has got something horrible lurking on his face.

Photography: Getty Images

Jack Nowell

Dennis Lilee

Photography: Getty Images

Q

uick riddle. In the middle of this summer, the Iranian volleyball team hosted an emphatic encounter against Italy in the FIVB Volleyball’s World League. Can you guess what the players, staff and crowd at the Tehran’s Azadi Stadium had in common? All of them were male.

This story may sound like a lame nerd joke but the aforementioned game marked the genesis of a story with a truly frightening nature. Last week, Ghoncheh Ghavami, a British-Iranian woman, was sentenced to one year in jail for attempting to attend the same volleyball match. Ghavami, a 25-year-old law graduate from the SOAS, University of London, was peacefully protesting for equal access for men and women to sporting events in Iran. Allegedly, the police reacted by beating the activists and dragging them along the ground.

The protesters were released by the authorities after initially being held in detention. However, Ghavami was then re-arrested and put on trial without any explanation.

Photography: Getty

Josh Nicholson

Dennis Lilee’s trimmed moustache is an example of grooming perfection. However, while the two may be poles apart in their approaches to facial decorations, they stand shoulder to shoulder in terms of cricketing greatness. Lilee is the scourge of many a batting line up and the demolisher of great batsmen. Not only his ability to unleash deliveries that mocked the 90mph barrier, it was his stare that sent batsmen

Sports Editor Peter Georgiev inspects the most bizarre moments from the sporting world this week

scurrying back to the changing room to take refuge from his relentless onslaught of not just fast and aggressive bowling, but smart bowling. As for that moustache; a moustache masterpiece, honed over the years, much like his bowling. A perfect metaphor then for his ruthless precision and attention to detail when it came to taking wickets.

Stuart Ward

Jack Nowell, hailing from Truro, Devon, proudly sports one of the single most disgusting but brave Guy Fawkes style moustache and goatee the rugby world has at the moment. Nobody knows the true reason behind why he has chosen this refined Renaissance style but the England newbie is seemingly proud of his hair and facial hair combination.

One might even suggest that Nowell thinks it may help him bring some fireworks to the pitch during the autumn internationals, next year’s Six Nations and World Cup campaigns.

A piece of artistry that is sure to either scare opponents or have them laughing whilst Nowell flies past them down the wing.

Josh Nicholson

Photography: Getty Images

Jarrod Sammut Photography: Gerard Barrau

A try-scoring Super League winning debut for Sammut was a deceptive omen of success to come. During his time in the UK two of the three clubs he has played for have entered administration, and his choice of hair and facial hair combinations have been absolutely mystifying. Perhaps the most bizarre though was the corn-rows twinned with a handlebar moustache during his time with the North Wales Crusaders. To add to his misfortune the Maltese international half-back also had a tattoo etched across his chest reading: “Justify Your Existance”.

Justify your grooming habits Jarrod!

George Clarke

Now, four months after this horrible turn of events, Ghavami has spent more than 90 days at Evin Prison, a large portion of them in a solitary confinement.

Her lawyer claims to have personally seen the court document which announces the one-year imprisonment due to the spreading of anti-regime propaganda. Nevertheless, the verdict on her is still to be officially confirmed although the deadline has already passed. Ghavami has recently began to reject food and water declaring a “dry” hunger strike.

The young woman is the latest victim of the long-standing ban for female sports fans which was introduced after the revolution in 1979 and deemed mixed crowds “un-Islamic”. Restrictions were lifted for short periods of time in 2005 and 2013 so that women could watch football and volleyball but then imposed again with the same religious motives. Of course, the fact that Islam encourages radical class segregation is hardly surprising. Still, one would assume that sports celebrations are more or less immune to such extremity.

The heartbreaking irony of women striving to protect their rights in what is often advertised as the most uniting sphere of life simply rubs more salt into the wounds of sport and its morality.

The widespread statement that racism and sexism are leaving our favourite entertainment arenas seems like dust thrown in the eyes of sentimental sports fans. Discrimination is still there and lurks behind the corner to produce the most brutal of atrocities. And if you are sick of listening about it, imagine what’s it like living it.

Illustration by Daisy Billowes

38.sportintramural

Monday 10 November 2014

The Courier

Aftermath destroy Thistles in goal-­fest Intramural Football Aftermath FC

8

Politic Thistle

0

striker Adam Jones to give themselves a healthy cushion. De Cristofaro was again involved as he threaded a ball into the striker’s feet and Jones finished low into Bigham’s bottom right hand corner.

Politic were sparked into life by the second goal and with a new surge of energy camped themselves in the Aftermath half for a good period of the game after conceding with Ben Hughes’ low corner coming close to finding it’s way in but unfortunately the cross evaded everyone. Perhaps against the run of play, the superior quality of Aftermath saw them stretch their advantage on the break as Jones grabbed his second of the day placing a firm effort into the same bottom corner. This time it was from the edge of the penalty area after Jason Bowes and De Cristofaro had worked their way down the right.

Aftermath FC were beginning to look unstoppable as attack after attack wore down their opponents resulting in a fourth being scored just before half time as De Cristofaro completed his brace when he found space in the penalty area. He jinked his way into a shooting position before finishing calmly to the left of Dave Bigham who by this point was being offered almost no support by his back line despite their early defensive strength.

The players paused for their half-time rallying team-talks with the scoreline standing at an impressive 4-0 and it was hard to see how Politic were going to get themselves back into the game without a huge turn of fortunes.

With the teams back underway, something must have been said that inspired the Politicians as they played much bet-

By Alex Hendley at Longbenton There was strength in numbers as Politic Thistle were no match for Aftermath FC who played them off the park in an 8-0 victory on Wednesday afternoon.

It was a bitter cold day that quickly fell dark for the Politics team, both in terms of sunlight and the scoreline, as four goals were scored in each half to grant the impressive Maths side an emphatic win. As the game started, there was no doubt which team was sharper and worked better as a unit as Aftermath dominated the early period. Central midfielders Tom Soden and Joe Barratt ran the game from the off as they looked for a way through the Politic defence.

The breakthrough came around 15 minutes into the game when Joe Barratt’s lobbed through ball was latched onto by Dan De Cristofaro who neatly chipped the onrushing Politic goalkeeper Dave Bigham to give Aftermath a deserved lead.

Politic’s tactics seemed some way off the mark as at 1-0 down there seemed little intensity or pressure to push high on the pitch in search of a goal that may have prevented the rout.

Jack Glendinning did fire a free-kick at Aftermath’s goal but Ronnie Reid saved down to his right and it was only a matter of minutes before Aftermath doubled their advantage through

Aftermath bagged eight to see off their opponents Photography by Alex Hendley

ter in the opening 15 minutes of the half with a rigid formation preventing Aftermath from creating too many chances as the back four of Rob Jackson, Freddie Gould, Jack Greenwell and Jack Glendinning stood firm but still Thistle looked unlikely to score themselves.

De Cristofaro and Joe Sanderson came off around ten minutes into the half having both influenced the game from the first minute and De Cristofaro especially impressing with his two goals. The fifth of the afternoon finally arrived with around half an hour to go when Harry Foster finished from close range. His rapid pace allowed him to leave defenders in his wake as the ball came whipping in. The pacy mathematician was causing havoc after his introduction and Bigham had to save well at

Foster’s feet to prevent him scoring a quick second. However, it was six before Politic Thistle could blink twice as Daniel Feetham wrote himself onto the scoresheet after being introduced as a sub with Foster.

The self-proclaimed “Goal of the season” came from Tom Soden who had been spurred on by his teammates who were jokingly berating the midfielder for missing too many chances. Soden picked the ball up just inside his own half before setting the ball up and cannoning a 25-yard dipping effort into the Politic Thistle goal just under the crossbar to give Bigham no chance at all and Aftermath a seven-goal advantage.

With five minutes left, Politic endured the final goal of the game when another substitute, this time James Hunter, put

one into the back of the net after having played a fast-paced and skillful game since his introduction in the second half.

The referee blew his whistle not long after to end Thistle’s misery as Aftermath got their intramural season off to a belting beginning dominating play for the majority of the game despite periods of resilient Politic resistance, mainly at the starts of the halves. In general, Thistle’s fitness was perhaps the issue, along with their lack of substitutes, as they failed to keep pace of the game for the full 90 minutes.

Next week, the victors Aftermath FC take on Sons of Pitches while Politic Thistle look to get their season on track against Barca-Law-Na.

10-­man Agrics hold on to squash Flapjacks Intramural Football

but to send Ellerby for an early bath or rather a stint running the line.

The man advantage still did not bring a response from the bland Flapjacks.

Despite occasionally looking dangerous from the Rory Delap style long throws of Josh Sabery, the home side created very little from open-play and needed a 88th minute penalty to cook up their only real chance to get something from the game.

Following a typical last minute long ball into the box, Agrics’ centre back Rory Stoddart appeared to trip Borussia’s Graeme Cowperthwaite, although some would argue the forward made the most of it. Nonetheless he picked himself up, dusted down his favoured Blackburn shirt and slotted home the spot kick to set up a frantic last few minutes in what otherwise had been a comfortable afternoon for the Agrics.

The two sides have started life in Intra Mural Division 3 in similar fashion this year with inconsistent results. However, there was a blatant difference between the pre-match warm ups. The Agrics looking well organised and disciplined; the Flapjacks rather not. This seemed

Borussia Mönchenflapjack 1 Agrics FC

2

By Calum Wilson at Longbenton Despite winning the award for the most creative name, there was no prize for the performance of Borussia Mochenflapjack as they limped to defeat against Agrics FC last Wednesday. The game was overshadowed by a red card shown to Agrics’ left back, Alex Ellerby, for raising a hand to the face of Jack Harrison of Mochenflapjack in an offthe-ball altercation.

The dismissal came 10 minutes into the second half with the visiting Agrics, in green, boasting a 2-0 lead in a seemingly comfortable canter to the finish. The incident caught the watching crowd by surprise but the referee was well placed to see what he described as “enough of a slap” leaving him no choice

League Tables

telling in the first exchanges, the green shirted Agrics doing much of the early pressing.

Winger Hugh Davies looked a constant threat down the right hand side and caused Borussia’s full back Ben Lloyd numerous problems throughout the afternoon. Five minutes in, Davies found space and with a pinpoint pass picked out lone striker Dan Miller who then had his effort pushed onto the bar by blues’ keeper Nick Crompsie.

Miller and Co. were evidently frustrated not to take an early lead and even more so as they watched the Flapjack side claw back some grip on the game.

However, it wasn’t the afternoon for possession football and certainly not for ‘tiki taka’. The tight pitch meant neither side were able to string together more than a handful of passes and undoubtedly the result would be decided by who could take their chances.

Agrics FC always looked the more likely and could and possibly should have been ahead on 15 minutes. A corner from the right hand side landed invitingly on the head of Chris Fraser arriving at the far post. The tall Northern

Irish man, sporting his national jersey, could only watch in agony as his effort sailed agonisingly over from 6 yards.

Mochenflapjack, finally awoken by this close-call, then created their best chance of the first half. Jack Harrison, improvising with the outside of his boot, cleverly found Barton out on the left but the winger, cutting inside onto presumably his stronger foot, only managed to hit the side netting.

Forward Dan Miller and Irishman Chris Fraser proved a formidable partnership up top with their combination of pace and power putting the Flapjack defence into all sorts of sticky situations. Blues’ keeper Nick Crompsie was forced into two saves in as many minutes to deny the duo, the second a smart stop with his feet after being quick off his line to close down Fraser.

Five minutes later, the CrompsieFraser battled continued. This time the Borussia goalie helpless as he watched his opponents’ in swinging free-kick rattle off the top of his crossbar and drop harmlessly away. The Irish attacker, vocal throughout, then rallied the Agric troops one more time as they

sensed the opener around the corner.

And then it came. Right winger Hugh Davies somehow found himself in the centre of the pitch and with space to move and Chris Fraser to his left screaming once more to be played in. Davies’ attempted pass rebounded off the leg of a Flapjack defender and kindly back into his path. With room on the edge of the box, the winger showed his composure, as the ball nestled in the bottom corner.

With the wind in their sails and buoyed by the breakthrough, the Agrics soon doubled their advantage. Fraser taking up a mirror image position on the left this time receiving it and playing in Dan Miller for an easy tap in and a deserved 2-0 lead. The second proving vital following Ellerby’s rush of blood and the last minute penalty.

However, Agrics FC held on to deservedly take home the three points.

The result also sees the greens join Borussia Mochenflapjack on 7 points, having played one game less, and keeps them in the hunt for a promotion place.

League Details Start Date -­ 8 October 2014 End Date -­ 12 June 2015

Wednesday 11-­‐a-­‐Side Football Division 1

Division 2

Team

Pld

W

D

L

GF

GA

Pts

1

Boca Seniors

4

4

0

0

10

5

12

2

Dyslexic United

4

3

0

1

12

7

3

Newcastle Medics 2nds

3

2

0

1

10

4

Division 4

Division31 Division Team

Pld

W

D

L

GF

GA

Team

Pld

W

D

L

GF

GA

Pts

1

KFC

3

3

0

0

15

6

9

1

Jesmond Tutu F.C.

4

4

0

0

13

6

12

7

2

Borussia MöQFKHQÁ DSMDFN

4

2

1

1

15

8

7

2

Boca Tooniors

3

3

0

0

13

5

9

6

3

FC Twente Bag

3

2

1

0

11

4

7

3

2[ERZ /DNHUV

5

2

1

2

14

15

7

Team

Pld

W

D

L

GF

GA

Pts

1

Barca-Law-Na

4

4

0

0

13

6

12

9

2

Aftermath FC

4

2

1

1

11

5

6

3

Thundercats

4

2

0

2

10

6

Pts

4

S.S. Ladzio

4

2

0

2

7

4

6

4

Roman Vila

4

2

0

2

11

10

6

4

Agrics FC

3

1

1

1

8

7

4

4

Archletico Madrid

3

2

0

1

16

12

6

5

Henderson Hall

5

1

2

2

8

14

5

5

Sons of Pitches

3

1

1

1

7

7

4

5

%XFNPLQVWHU )XOOHUHQH

3

1

0

2

6

11

3

5

Hangover 96

3

0

1

2

5

7

1

6

Newcastle Medics 1sts

3

0

1

2

6

11

5

6

Politic Thistle FC

3

0

1

2

3

11

1

6

Jesmondinho FC

4

1

0

3

8

15

3

6

5RGDOOHJD %RPEV

4

0

1

3

13

21

1

7

Ecosoccer

5

0

1

4

6

14

1

7

Castle Leazes

4

0

1

1

4

14

1

7

:H 1HHG 7R 7DON $ERXW . .

4

0

1

3

6

18

1

7

&RPELQHG +RQRXUV

4

0

1

3

5

13

1

The Courier

sportbucs.39

Monday 10 November 2014

Typhoons put Wildcats in a nasty spin Men’s Ice Hockey Newcastle Wildcats

2

St Andrews Typhoons

7

By Jack Marley at Whitley Bay The Wildcats A team were unable to weather the Typhoons at home on Tuesday night yielding the opportunity to send the St Andrews challengers home with anything but flesh wounds in their first clash of the season.

The writing may have been on the wall from the start as the Wildcats struggled to match the ferocity of the Typhoons’ offensive play; conceding a goal after five and a half minutes as the defence failed to meet the challenge of an early

remained solid in the face of successive St Andrews assaults and at times they even made the away side pay for offensive blunders so that the threat of an equaliser hung heavy over the St Andrew’s net minder right up until the intermission. His Wildcat counterpart Nick Smith was by then fully in his element and stayed there for long after the rest of the team began to falter. As the clock ran down to the 20 minute mark he continued to sweep errant pucks aside with a finesse that suggested the coming period would not begin as badly as the first.

And it didn’t as the Wildcats regained form after the break and remained dogged in their pursuit of a chance to level the score. But the Typhoons had their second wind and were not ready to relinquish their lead offering a longrange effort on the break to kick off

“Whenever the away side attacked, Newcastle were ready exemplified by a heroic lunge from Wildcat captain Sam Clarke”

breakaway. However, the Wildcat’s Szergej Maszlov bit back with a breakaway of his own to bring the scores level and banish fears of a shaky start.

From then on, it seemed as if Newcastle might take the lead particularly with the arrival of a 5-on-4 powerplay in the Wildcats’ favour. Sadly another Typhoon goal dampened home side hopes but not the fighting spirit of the team itself. Throughout the remainder of the first period Newcastle’s defence

the period. Whenever the away side attacked, Newcastle were ready exemplified by a heroic lunge from Wildcat captain Sam Clarke that headed off a Typhoon insurgency at the 30 minute mark. The stalemate came to an abrupt end however with a St Andrews tap-in that spawned another only a moment later. Now, trailing the visitors by 3, the apt choice of the Rolling Stones’ “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” played the home side out through the dregs of

The Wildcats suffered a loss in their opening game Photography by Jack Marley

the second period. A last ditch effort to claw back a goal ran out of time and the Wildcats resigned themselves to a 4-1 shortfall.

Period 2 had opened a chasm between the two teams’ attempts on target not to mention an increasingly unassailable scoreline for the Wildcats going into the final 20 minutes. But the outlook was to only get bleaker as the Typhoons levelled an impressive flick from their own half inviting a smooth

tap in to make it 5-1. Resistance continued, notably in the undaunted attacking efforts of Maszlov which eventually found their mark in a goal at 52 minutes that revived flagging fans. Any elation was short-lived however as St Andrews capitalised on the relief to restore the goal difference. The Wildcat defence, looking increasingly weary, could only hold off initial threats of further retribution before the Typhoons gave those gathered at the Whitley Bay ice rink on

that drizzly Bonfire Night eve their final scoreline: 7-2.

A disappointing but not necessarily disconcerting start to the Wildcats’ season. With the scoreboard flashing a neon testimony to the competence of Smith in the deficit he maintained between goals attempted (53) and goals conceded (7), there is great hope that there are storms ahead in which they will fare better.

Shuttlers smash poor Yorkies Men’s Badminton Newcastle 1sts

5

York 1sts

3

By Huezin Lim at The Sports Centre With the basketball team competing in the neighbouring end of the gym, there was unnecessary disturbance for the Badminton players but Newcastle and York were forced to battle on in a contentious match. With three courts in play today, the matches began with Newcastle Singles 1 vs York Singles 2, York Singles 1 vs Newcastle Singles 2 and Newcastle Doubles 1 vs York Doubles 2. With Singles 1, the veteran Tim Morris as expected, took charge of his

tle Singles 2 player rooted to the spot several times. Alex had a good control over the mental aspect of the contest as well, telling himself to be patient during the rally. Fundamentally and mentally stronger, the Newcastle player would have learnt a lot from his defeat to Ingham, going down 16 – 21 and 14 – 21.

Up next was the doubles contest, featuring two brilliant pairs from Newcastle 1 and York 2. The first set went by in a breeze for Newcastle as the tempo of the exchanges was too much for the York pair to deal with, going down in the first set, 21 to 12. Thankfully, the match picked up with York finding their groove; finally taking the initiative and putting Newcastle under pressure. They led by 16 to 15 as the match came to a close. As expected of the strong Newcastle pair, they were not to be denied the victory and prevailed, taking both the second set and the match.

“This match was a physical and gruelling contest, each player being pushed to the limit”

Newcastle’s victory sent them top of Northern 2B Photography by Huezin Lim

first match right from the start. With ferocious attacks and keeping the York Singles 2 player, Roif Chata moving, Tim used the drop-volley to great effect.

Winning several points in a row, Morris was in a class of his own: point after point, he managed to find the corners and made the right decisions. The game was clearly out of reach for the York player and he soon crumbled to the unrelenting pressure, meaning Morris won his first singles match comfortably with a score of 21 – 12 and 21 – 14.

As the sun began to set, the respective Singles 1 players from both teams easily defeated the opposing Singles 2 players which set up a mouth-watering encounter between both the Singles 1 players.

The York Singles 1 player, Alex Inghan was excellent, changing the direction of the shuttle constantly, leaving Newcas-

With four matches complete, Newcastle and York both won 2 matches so it was crucial for both teams to win their next matches. One of the highlight matches of the evening was Newcastle Doubles 2 versus York 1. The opening exchanges between the two were evenly matched. There were plenty of mistakes throughout for both teams but York took the first set 23 to 25 when it was 19 all, the Newcastle player taking a risky shot by playing it across the net drop volley. Unfortunately, the risk did not pay off and Newcastle lost the first set.

In the second set, Newcastle managed to take a slender lead of 7 – 3 but a series of unforced errors brought the score back to 10 – 10 again. As expected, the second set was going down to the wire as well with 17 - 17 the score. Every point counted at this point and the lads from

York took the match with the slimmest of margins. Very unlucky for Newcastle as on another day they could have readily took this match. Speaking to one of the Newcastle Doubles pair after the contest, he was frustrated by the defeat as he felt they definitely could have won but the emotions may have affected them during the crucial points.

Seeing how the initial Singles matches went, Morris’ final match-up was much anticipated and they did not disappoint. As expected, it was extremely tight throughout the match, each player taking momentum from the other, with only the tape of the net or the outside of the line preventing either player from winning the point. This match was a physical and grueling contest, each player being pushed to the limit and in the first set, Newcastle led by 15 to 13. Every point mattered to both players with both players showing greater emotion and outbursts, unlike the previous encounters. As the first set went on, Morris managed to contain his opponent and won the set, 21 – 16. The second set was even more competitive than the first, each player trading points and Newcastle having to chase York for most of the game, however, experience and fortitude from Newcastle won over and Tim Morris won the second set and match, 25 – 23.

With Newcastle Singles and Doubles 2 beating their respective opponents, Newcastle beat York overall, 5 matches to 3 as everyone breathed a sign of relief. York, one of the stronger teams in the league were not to be underestimated and as the team travels down next week for the Away encounter, the team is hoping for an even greater outcome than before. With Newcastle sitting comfortably on top of the Northern 2B league with 3 wins, this team is looking better than ever heading into Christmas.

Sport

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 10 November 2014 Issue 1299 Free

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Sports Editors: Peter Georgiev, Jonty Mawer & Huezin Lim Online Sports Editor: Josh Nicholson courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Sport

Aftermath divide and conquer ragged Politic Thistle 8-0 p.38

Uni avenge Clash defeat with last-­gasp winner Men’s Rugby Union Newcastle 1sts

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Northumbria 1sts

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By Jonty Mawer at Longbenton As Newcastle prepared to face the old foe Northumbria on Wednesday afternoon, to the casual observer at least, there seemed to be a great deal of tension in the air. Coaches from both sides were seen shuffling grumpily down the touchlines; words were being exchanged amongst support staff and supporters alike, even the security team was on the prowl. One thing was for certain; this was going to be anything but a straightforward encounter for both sides.

You’ve all seen the footage, read the reports; the events of the Clash of the Titans will live long in the memory for all who observed it. The fixture, some would argue, has been irrevocably changed in nature. Standing on the side of the pitch at Cochrane Park, watching the two sides warm up and go through their practice drills, you got a sense of what was at stake here. This match up is far more than a matter of points difference; it’s a contest forged in the very identity of the two universities, a contest where the willingness to go the extra mile for your team and your compatriots is king.

The game began in the customary derby fashion; big hits, sniping runs and intensive attacks on the enemy line.

Northumbria’s physicality in the opening exchanges was furious; in almost Gatland-esque fashion, they tried to bulldoze their way through the more di-

minutive Newcastle centre-three-quarter line. Uni, however, were resilient in defence; Rhodri Adamson led the line superbly, ensuring that the monstrous Poly backline never had a chance to get up to a full head of steam. It became apparent, however, that despite their eagerness in defence, the pressure that Poly was excerpting on the Newcastle backline was starting to play its part as the home side began to infringe more regularly. It seemed only a matter of time before the visitors would draw first blood.

By the time we had reached the halfway point of the first period, Northumbria, through the accuracy of their kicker, had attained a 6 point lead, meaning

game. In theory, this may seem a simple concept, however in actuality, the next forty minutes was going to be an immensely trying and hostile time for Team Newcastle.

Unlike their slightly laboured end to the first half, the Poly started the second with renewed vigour, peppering the Newcastle defensive line with direct run after direct run. They were keen to hang on to their lead. Newcastle, however, remained resolute and, under the stewardship of Adamson and Harding, managed to keep their opponents at bay.

Something had to give from both sides, and after the Poly hooker was sent to the bin for an infringement at the ruck, Newcastle had the upper hand and were

“After a cunning grubber set up Newcastle’s winner, the team and coaching staff were overcome with joy, all running to congratulate the scorer” that Newcastle were in hot pursuit. Despite Poly’s early dominance and apparent physical imperiousness, Newcastle were by no means out of the game, in fact, by the time we got to half time, the momentum seemed definitively on the side of the home team.

The lay of the land at half time was very much level between the two sides.

Though Poly were up 9-6, Newcastle, after getting off the mark points-wise, were really getting into their stride. In terms of their quick ball movement and lines of running from the backline, they had the edge on Northumbria. All that they had to do was in some way tame the ferocity of the Poly at close quarters and keep their big runners out of the

keen to take advantage.

Over the next 10 minutes, Newcastle were permanently camped in the opposition half, desperately trying all they could to break down the Poly defence.

Poly were clearly feeling the pressure, giving away penalty after penalty, yard after yard. Newcastle wanted tries; at no point during this period did Adamson call for the tee or attempt the drop goal, Uni were on a one-way mission to the line. Despite the admirable endeavours of Tom Banks and his slowly tiring pack of forwards, however, Newcastle simply couldn’t execute.

As the shamed hooker returned to the field, replenishing Poly to their full compliment of players, understandably

Newcastle heads started to dip slightly.

Despite having the man-advantage, Uni had failed to capitalize. As we entered the last twenty minutes, however, the game really started to take off.

With a successful penalty kick to touch, the Newcastle pack initiated a driving maul from the Poly 22 metre, which ended up a score the likes of which the Welsh team would be proud.

With the kick converted, Uni held a one-point lead at 10-9 as the game headed unrelentingly towards its conclusion.

Almost immediately, however, Poly hit back with a try of their own in the corner. The atmosphere was now reaching fever pitch. As the attempted conversion from the Northumbria kicker was dragged wide, the points deficit between the two sides was at four points, with the clock counting down. The tension was palpable all around Cochrane Park; Newcastle were desperate to reclaim the lead and their sense of pride after The Clash, immediately pressuring the Poly backline. All hope seemed lost until a cunning grubber from Adamson sent the Newcastle right-winger over for a try in the corner. The team and coaching staff were overcome with joy, all running over to the triumphant scorer to congratulate him. With the kick converted, all that was left was for the referee to blow the final whistle, the definitive sound of redemption Team Newcastle.

Vengeance was, indeed sweet for the 1st XV on Wednesday. Exhibiting hitherto unseen assuredness and quality, they dispelled the curse of The Clash by defeating the Poly 17 points to 14, a tremendous effort by all involved.

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FANTACHTIC

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BADMIGHTY