The Courier 1230

Can Newcastle make it four in a row? Stan Calvert preview All the sports, all the build up, pull out inside

C OURIER THE

Issue 1230 Monday 28 March 2011 www.thecourieronline.co.uk

University backtracks on £850k VIP lounge

THE INDEPENDENT VOICE OF NEWCASTLE STUDENTS D.HAMILL

The University has indefinitely postponed a £850k refurbishment to the King’s Gate building, after administration baulked at their own proposal to make the £30m building more VIP-friendly.

The proposed change to the all but brand new, 18-month-old building would include the construction of a floating bar and the relocation of Vice-Chancellor Chris Brink’s office.

John Hogan, the University’s registrar, said not a penny has been spent on the project so far, and the decision to postpone the project was in light of the upcoming cuts, and how the spending would be perceived during a time of austerity.

“If money were no object, you can see why we’d do it,” Hogan said.

“I would still like to wave a magic wand and do it, but we have to accept that there will be other priorities and in this particular case, it’s a good message to send that we’re prioritising two other bits of expenditure, which will virtually benefit everyone that visits the campus.

“That’s probably a good message to send at this time,” he explained.

“I couldn’t say it will never happen, but I can say it will not happen in the foreseeable future.”

The now-shelved project was part of this year’s £50m estate budget, which includes projects like the new Business School and Students’ Union refurbishment.

University officials say the blitz in construction is to compensate for previous years of little to no construction, but the scaffolding, cranes and construction barriers dotting campus, come during a time of austerity, when tuition fees could triple and lecturers take industrial action over pension and pay disputes.

The project was first introduced in the 2010-2011 construction budget, and was initially budgeted for £150k, but after looking at the initial option of converting a meeting room into a lounge, Hogan said administration was “not convinced the changes we had originally envisaged would be successful.”

When asked about why the construction to King’s Gate was not included during the building’s initial construction, Executive Director of Finance Richard Dale said: “having been here a while now, we realised not everything was spot on in the original spec, in particular, in the way we deal with visitors. The building needed some enhancement.”

Continued on page 4

FREE

Lecturers stand firm in wage dispute Finola Miles

wanted King’s •Management Gate to be VIP-friendly office too •Vice-Chancellor’s noisy in current location Jonathan Offredo

EST 1948

Bleak future: lecturers face a real terms pay cut and demonstrated their opposition in coordinated strike action last week that saw hundreds march through the city centre

Academic staff took to the picket lines last Tuesday and Thursday in response to a pay dispute.

Lecturers taking part were docked a day’s pay as they clashed with the University over a 0.4 per cent pay rise, which after inflation, would amount to a real terms pay cut of 4 per cent.

The treasurer of the Newcastle University and College Union (UCU) branch, Dr Geoff Abbott, explained that the strikes were also motivated by disagreements over pension schemes and the dramatic cuts to higher education funding.

Members of the UCU from Durham and Newcastle voted to take action in a strike on Tuesday, in addition to the national day of action involving 63 other universities from across the country on Thursday.

A letter sent to Newcastle academic staff by the local UCU branch said: “the reason for the strike is to protest against the thousands of jobs that have already been lost, the refusal of our employers to negotiate a package to improve job security, and their insistence on pushing through a real terms pay cut of more than 4 per cent compared to inflation.

“Two thirds of UK universities have already announced their intention to seek further redundancies, and despite recent reassurances, rendundancies are highly likely at Newcastle. Yet the University is continuing to spend lavishly on executive expenses and estates, and has even proposed an £850,000 VIP Lounge.”

In a meeting of one strike committee prior to the protest, lecturers from the School of Historical Studies explained that whilst cuts in the pensions scheme had played a decisive role in the resolution of Newcastle University staff to strike, they were not the primary cause of the strikes.

Calling for students to see the bigger picture in terms of the strikes, Continued page 5

2

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

News Editors: Simon Murphy and Charlie Oven

Have you got a news story for The Courier? Email us at: courier.news@ncl.ac.uk

King’s Gate lockdown as second occupation feared Simon Murphy News Editor Police officers were called to King’s Gate last Thursday, as University chiefs feared a second occupation on campus.

In bizarre scenes, as lecturers protested a few hundred yards away at Monument, a group of students peacefully entered the nerve centre of the University only to be swamped by security personnel.

The building was put on lockdown for almost an hour at 4.30pm, each entrance manned by security staff, as the 12 students talked in quiet seating areas on the ground floor.

Security staff initially threatened the group with disciplinary action and began taking pictures before Registrar John Hogan and Academic Registrar Jeannette Strachan came down to talk to the students.

Emily Elliot, a third-year Politics student who took part in the talks, said: “Regardless of who called the police, I think it is extremely insulting that the police were called to intimidate us. We were purely there to discuss the lecturers’ strike in a peaceful capacity and all of a sudden security just surrounded us, asking ‘what we were doing’.

“We’re students in a building catering for student services, what is wrong with that?”

In the discussion, students called

Charlie Oven News Editor

Time to act? Registrar John Hogan pauses for thought as he talked to a group of students last Thursday, after University chiefs feared a King’s Gate occupation was on the cards

for Vice-Chancellor Chris Brink to justify in person his decision to back a real terms pay cut for lecturers, and asked that no disciplinary action be taken against any striking staff or students.

The group also pressed for the University management to yield to the lecturers’ wage demands. Talks eventually moved to the temporary Students’ Union building at Park

Terrace for a further two and a half hours.

“At the moment, students don’t get any access to management – in terms of discussion,” Emily Elliot explained. “We hope that we’ve come out of this meeting with a clear goal to establish a direct forum with the Vice-Chancellor so that all students can voice their opinions on how the University is being run.”

Finest business minds battle it out in campus competition Helen Lam You’re hired! Well not exactly, but the 2011 running of the University’s own version of The Apprentice has ended and the competition winners have been announced. The hugely popular competition, run by an entrepreneurial scheme through the Careers Service, enabled for students to compete for the chance to win cash prizes by participating in a series of innovative and challenging tasks.

An ice themed night, based on Icelandic hotels and bars, was the most original idea for a new club night which helped Anelise Siddle win her task, in addition to the largest cash prize of £500. Speaking to The Courier Siddle explained her idea ‘’We spend a lot of time complaining about the cold, so I thought a night to embrace it would be good,” she said. “The idea was to have big ice luges with alcohol flowing down for customers to buy and ice bars and tables - just huge blocks of ice.

“After some research, I realised it would be viable as you can keep ice

Coroner: graduate’s death was ‘accident’

in room temperature for eight hours so it would just need to be air conditioned. The music theme was anything ‘cool’.”

Since winning the competition Siddle has been in contact with the competition sponsors, Deloitte, to discuss potential career options and is saving for a very overdue holiday, which she wouldn’t have been able to afford before winning her category.

The Dragon’s Den style competition, to design an environmentally friendly product, was one of the most popular categories, with students designing products including a desk made from recycled materials, a wind turbine which generates energy and a cube which can save energy within homes. The winning creation however was a mobile phone app which calculated carbon footprints. The products designer Charlie Ellington explained the idea. ‘’The mobile phone app that would give discount to customers that checked in at businesses and then carbon offset their purchases,”

he said. “For example, a customer could go to a restaurant and receive 20 per cent discount for carbon offsetting their meal. They can also track carbon from journeys and then it is calculated on the app, so you can pay back on a weekly or monthly basis.’’

The competition has now allowed for ‘Carbon Vision’ to conduct further research into the idea and seriously consider turning their design idea into reality.

Sarah Grant, from the RiseUp team running the event, stated that ‘’we had a really fantastic turn-out to the scheme with almost 150 students participating in tasks. Students really got into the tasks, doing market research, developing prototypes and taking it really seriously. It was great to see such enthusiasm for the project and seeing how much students got out of it.’’

Following this success Grant along with The Entrepreneurs Society is now hoping to extend the competition with suggestions of having a Newcastle vs Northumbria Apprentice scheme next year.

An inquest has recorded an open verdict into the death of “an outgoing and bubbly” Newcastle graduate.

Myles Robinson, 23, died of multiple injuries, including a severe head trauma after falling 300ft from an icy cliff near a Swiss ski resort.

His body went undiscovered for six days following his disappearance on December 22, 2009. The evening before he disappeared, Myles had been drinking and chatting with his close friends and sister. At about 2.20am the following morning, he walked friend Amy O’Brien back to her hotel but, after the pair said their goodbyes, he subsequently disappeared.

His body was found found in a wooded area at the foot of a cliff above Lauterbrunnen, Switzerland.

Extensive police enquiries were made to rule out any sort of foul play, including murder, kidnap or assault.

Coroner Dr Paul Knapman said: “It seems to be that the most likely explanation is an accident but other possibilities have not been totally explained.”

Giving his reason for an open verdict the coroner told the inquest: “How he came to be here and how he came to fall is not clear.”

A Swiss toxicology report recorded Myles’ blood alcohol level as being the equivalent of 2.5 times the drink drive limit. Dr Nathaniel Carey, who conducted a second post-mortem report in the UK said it was likely Mr Robinson’s mobility would have been affected by drink as he walked along the treacherous mountain path.

The inquest also heard how the keen skier had traces of a designer amphetamine in his system. However, Knapman told the hearing in Westminster, central London, that Myles’ drink could have been spiked.

“Just because someone had a drug doesn’t mean they took it voluntarily.” He said Reflecting on the death, Knapman stressed: “This is a terrible tragedy of a young man with every expectation of a happy and successful future in front of him, dying suddenly in these circumstances.”

A keen and competent sportsman, Myles Robinson had completed a Maths and Economics degree at Newcastle University in 2009. He was due to start a job with investment company Partners Capital.

The Myles Robinson Memorial Trust supports charities that enable young British people to travel overseas to help children in developing countries through teaching and sports coaching.

The Union Society, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940

Comment Peter Campbell explores ways to improve ‘un-democratic’ Union Council Page 9

Lifestyle Olivia Mason finds out what it’s like for the 1.4 billion people worldwide who live on £1 a day Page 13

Culture Laura Holmes previews next month’s musical version of The Full Monty at the Journal Tyne Theatre Page 24

Sport Owen Wilson discovers the benefits of the University’s Sports Volunteer Programme Page 37

The Courier is now out of print until after the Easter holidays. Meetings will commence once again in the usual places in the week starting May 9. Until then from all on The Courier team, have a lovely break and we hope to see you all again soon.

Editorial Team: • Editor - Fran Infante • Deputy Editor - Aimee Philipson • News Editors - Charlie Oven & Simon Murphy • Comment Editors - Danny Kielty & Laura Heads • Life & Style Editors - Mary Mullarkey & Kat Bishop •Fashion Editor - Lauren Girling • Arts Editor - Stephanie Ferrao • Film Editor - Adam Williams • Music Editors - Polly Randall & Joe Skrebels • TV & Radio Editor - Ellie Wilson & Lynsey Fawcett • Puzzles Editor - Andy Pitkeathley •Listings Editor - Ciara Littler • Sports Editors - Kat Bannon, Jono Taylor & Wills Robinson •Photo Editor - Briony Carlin • Design Editor - Helen Mamalaki •Online Editors - Bethany Sissons, Katie Hicks, Elliot Bentley and Colin Henrys •Proof Editors - Charlotte Loftus, Katy Lawson, Hannah Davey, Gemma Farina, Jessica Cree, Amy Jordan, Rebecca Gee, GemmaJayne Turner,Verity Cunningham, Emma O’Neil, Jenny Beer & Georgia Morgan

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Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Union Society at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Union Society or Newcastle University.

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

News

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The Robbo library, a standing monument to stress, gets a welcome dose of comedy...

Charlie Oven News Editor As deadlines for essays loom, there is the all too familiar trudge to the dreaded Robinson library.

A standing monument to stress, the eye-catching structure can be seen from all four corners of the campus.

Every inch closer to those unforgiving revolving doors can bring an even deeper sigh of resignation.

That ever so humbling realisation, you’re there for the long haul – hello old friend. A semi-productive day of work, interspersed with expert Facebook procrastination awaits.

The above is perhaps a typical journey experience for the average student to the Robbo. However, if you happened to approach the award winning library on Friday March 18, between 11-12 you may have been greeted by a somewhat unusual site of students in comical wigs and oversized glasses.

As part of ‘doing something funny for money’ students were offered the chance to don wacky accessories while striking a pose for the camera on a ScratchBike.

The charitable initiative was all in aid of raising money for Comic Relief. According to the ‘doing something funny for money’ Newcastle Facebook group, the more snaps taken the more money raised.

One of the six founders of the scheme in Newcastle, student Kirsty Mckillop was impressed by the overall figures raised. She told The Courier: “We reached a total of around £300 which was great considering it was over a three hour period of fundraising.”

According to Mckillop Newcastle University was seen as fertile ground to push forward the good cause.

“Newcastle is a huge establishment, with a huge student body, meaning there was a great potential to raise money for Comic Relief.

When you factor in the number of people who use the Robinson library it all makes sense,” she said.

In addition to the fun filled photography, there was also a cake sale which boosted the charitable drive.

Fancy a laugh? Students raised £300 for Comic Relief outside the Robbo library. Dressed in comical wigs and oversized glasses, students were ‘doing something funny for money’

The Courier was informed a student spent the previous evening baking

200 cakes, all of which were sold.

This is just one of many examples

of the hard work from people across the country doing their bit for Red

Nose Day.

Best of British for Lent: breakfast, lunch and dinner Johnny Farrar-Bell Giving up chocolate, sweets, and perhaps, if we are very self-disciplined, even Facebook, may be steps some of us are willing to take during Lent, but few of us would even contemplate refraining from all food not produced in the British Isles.

However, this is just what housemates Lisa Whitten and Claire Chisolm have decided upon. Inspired by a quote from Matin Luther King: “Before you’ve finished your breakfast this morning, you’ll have relied on half of the world”, Whitten and Chisholm, both first-year combined honours students, wanted to see if they could rely on the British Isles for not just their breakfast but

all meals.

This is no mean feat when not only is 40 per cent of food consumed in Britain imported, but when ingredients in food are added, such as sugar in bread, the figure rockets. So apart from most vegetables, meat, dairy, eggs and some fruit, there are really very few foods (and drinks) that come entirely from Britain and Ireland.

“We didn’t realise how many imported foods we rely on and we never knew how far food travels,” said Lisa. In fact the average breakfast travels a staggering 5000 miles when you include orange juice, the sugar in cereals and coffee.

It was tea and coffee in particular that the two students found the hardest to be without with them

British at heart: first-year students Lisa and Claire will only eat British food for Lent

“having to nap twice a day” and saying “we thought were ill”.

For some of us Costa, Starbucks or even Campus Coffee, addicted students, the sheer thought of not having our daily caffeine fix would send us into shivers, so it is no wonder that going cold turkey made them feel ill. Despite showing how much we rely on imported food and ingredients this experiment surely shows us how we can make do with British food which often forces us to abandon junk food and unhealthy snacks.

So let’s raise a glass of Baileys (one of the only alcoholic drinks permitted) to Lisa and Claire who are showing us all how it is still possible to live off good old blighty.

4

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

News

Lecturers fight back: ‘I do not b buildings alone make universi Continued from front page Instead, the University planned to spend £738 per square metre to build a brand new space, which would be suspended above the atrium of King’s Gate and supported from the ceiling.

Plans also include relocating the Vice-Chancellor’s office from its deliberately designated spot overlooking Barrack Road, to a location closer to reception and the lounge, away from the noisy street.

A business case assessment obtained by The Courier explained that the lounge’s purpose would be to host the variety of guests often received by the Vice-Chancellor.

“It has been recognised that there is currently no world-class venue anywhere within the University, commensurate with its academic eminence, which creates the right ambience for receiving important guests,” the document said.

In years past, the Queen, Prime Minister, the Dukes of York and Edinburgh, as well as business leaders and academics, have visited the University.

Other spots that were considered for a VIP area were locations in the Armstrong and King George VI buildings. According to both Hogan and the case assessment, those locations were either aesthetically deterring on the inside, or construction would have caused too much disruption.

“[They would be] nothing that would impress the Queen,” Hogan said. “Now whether we should have something that impresses the Queen is a more sensitive issue.”

Hogan said the building as a whole was built to be the gateway to the University, and in that respect, he said, it has succeeded.

But there are parts of the building which Hogan said were overlooked during the initial construction – like the location of the Vice-Chancellor’s office.

The Vice-Chancellor was not directly involved in the planning and construction of King’s Gate, but Hogan said it had been deliberate to have his office facing the street and directly in the view and waving distance of the City Council leader’s office.

What was not anticipated, Hogan said, was the noise that would come from one of Newcastle’s busiest streets, Barrack Road, being directly outside the Vice-Chancellor’s office.

“It hasn’t been great to be honest.

It’s the only office facing the street.

Part of the problem is when the buses rev up, it’s particularly noisy, especially compared to the offices in the back,” Hogan said.

In addition to an upgrade in acoustics, the Vice-Chancellor’s new office would gain an already existing balcony that would “aid in showcasing the campus.”

Despite postponement to the lounge’s construction, the relocation of the Vice-Chancellor’s office could still go ahead to the tune of £10,000, Hogan said.

Hogan admitted that even he had “severe questions” about the project, saying that a floating VIP lounge and the new location of the Vice-Chancellor’s office wasn’t the most accessible and inclusive thing the University could spend money on.

Another concern, he added, were the views expressed about student spends following the rise of tuition fees and mass protests in London and local action that began toward the end of last year and continued into last week, as students marched with lecturers through the city centre.

“Time wise [we have to ask] is this a good time to look at a project which almost by definition does not benefit the majority of students, staff and so on,” Hogan said. “And that adds a particular edge to the conversations we’ve had.”

In its place, the University has focused on two projects nearing £3million that are part of the “coherent campus” idea and would include the demolition of the Students’ Union shop and the reworking of the area outside the archway and Northern Stage to develop a new quad.

The postponement comes amidst industrial action taken by lecturers and against a backdrop of outcry following inquiries into the expenses racked up by the University’s top administration.

Barry Gills, professor in Political Science and President of the UCU branch at Newcastle, commended the decision to halt the VIP project, but said the idea is just another in a long line of bureaucratic waste during a time of austerity.

“I do not believe shiny buildings alone make universities better,” Gills said. “I am of the view that the University needs a serious review of attitudes toward hospitality expenditure and an attitude toward how the University conducts diplomacy and business.”

The Courier has previously reported Vice-Chancellor Chris Brink’s opposition to industrial action on the grounds that it would “damage student experience”.

Gills said he hopes the University’s decision to postpone the lounge is just part of a larger scaling back of the estate budget.

“The cosmetics should certainly stop – and sometimes they make things worse,” he said. “Right now in an austerity budget, I don’t think we can afford bureaucratic waste – if we ever could. I thought that was textbook economics.”

Laying down their books: last Thursday students and academics gathered together at Monument to protest against the cuts which will

Laura Mowat Commentary

T

he plans to implement a luxurious floating bar in the new King’s Gate building for the top dogs in the University to enjoy seem quite ludicrous to me. Although the project, with an estimated cost of £850,000, has been ‘indefinitely postponed’, there should have been no such intentions in the first place.

I think it is quite ironic that the University hopes to use the bar to create the right atmosphere for the business side of the University. Surely the right atmosphere should be to put all extra money into benefiting the students and lecturers in some way?

The government is cutting back dramatically on university spending, so this is without doubt not a good time to spend unnecessarily.

Indeed, there should be a sense of solidarity about how to best use the money which the University

“Although the project, with an estimated cost of £850,000, has been ‘indefinitely postponed’, there should have been no such intentions in the first place”

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

News

believe shiny ities better’

ALL PHOTOS: D.HAMILL

5

‘These cuts are hitting our finances hard. We’ll be lucky to keep the roof over our heads’ As hundreds of lecturers march, News Editor Simon Murphy listens to the stories behind the strike action

E

very parent wants to be able to support their children, to help them – for Minnie Fraser that is no longer an option.

Perched on the steps of Monument in the city centre, the mother-of-three explains how she fears her children will struggle to make it into higher education.

“The cuts are unfairly targeting the youth – we won’t be able to help our children go to university now,” says the 47-year-old Northumbria lecturer in Building Surveying.

“Both my husband and I work in higher education. These cuts are hitting our finances hard. We’ll be lucky to keep the roof over our heads.

“I really passionately hate this government now.”

They wave their banners, shout in protest, but for the hundreds of lecturers and academic staff demonstrating, simmering underneath is a very real feeling of resentment towards a government which is demanding they be paid less while asking students to pay more.

“Cuts, job losses – what we’re talking about is course closures, student-staff ratio increases and all the while students are expected to pay three times as much for their education,” says Geoff Abbott, a senior lecturer in Organic Geochemistry at Newcastle.

“Cultural values, educational values – they should control higher education, not money. Higher education is going down the pan, it’s being destroyed.”

As the crowd of protestors – mostly lecturers but also a gaggle of students – marched down Northumberland Street, pensioners gazed on quizzically. Policeman lined the streets, whispering into their walkie-talkies, as the chants rang clear: “If you really hate the Tories clap your hands,” and “No ifs, no buts, no education cuts.”

Banners emblazoned with messages such as “Hands off our pensions, stand up for education” decorated

Fighting talk: UCU President Barry Gills says higher education stands at a crossroads - it must be defended

the urban landscape.

Martin Levy, Northumbria’s UCU branch chairman, says this action is “only the beginning”.

The Physical Chemistry lecturer said: “The protest has been effective, people have responded to strike calls. It’s been a very good turnout for picketing.”

Barry Gills, a lecturer in Global Politics at Newcastle, addressed the crowd as President of the local UCU branch. “We stand at a crossroads,” he explained afterwards. “Either we defend universities now, or we see them turned into private corporations seeking a profit while scaling back academia and charging unaffordable tuition fees.”

The burning question for lecturers, students, and young people is will these protests make a difference? Cameron and Clegg may peer down from their figurative perches and see the passion, the fury – even hate – they are generating amongst the public, but they are seemingly oblivious to the real destruction their reforms are having on people’s lives.

Minnie Fraser and her husband, a Durham lecturer, face an uncertain future. With their wages being cut, the couple don’t know how they are going to fund their pension payments, how they are going to afford to one day send their children to university. They do know, however, that they must continue to fight.

Fraser says: “I think the protests can make a difference, it’s better than sitting and doing nothing – that’s not an option.”

Lecturers take to the streets to protest over wage cuts affect lecturers’ pension plans and real earnings as well as their job security

has access to.

The UCU predicts thousands of job cuts as a result of the axe in government funding. Yet if the people at the top of the university chain go ahead with this plan, they are giving off the impression that modern, swanky bars are a bigger priority than educational resources.

This colossal amount of money would be far better spent in other areas such as bursaries for poorer students, which are especially vital in light of the rise in tuition fees.

Alternatively, the University could invest in more computer clusters or other resources to ensure the maintenance of the high quality education it offers its students.

In light of the recent revelations concerning the Vice-Chancellor’s expenses, he is in no position to back such a flamboyant, futile project. Perhaps not Sinners, but Newcastle definitely has an abundance of bars which can create a good atmosphere without splurging the best part of a million pounds on unnecessary luxuries.

Continued from front page Dr Matt Perry commented that there had been a “degradation of the job” as a lecturer in the past few years, and that the funding cuts of up to 80 per cent may result in some universities having to close in the near future. With an estimated 100,000 job losses last year in the public sector, Newcastle University staff taking part in the strikes specifically called for employers to introduce measures to increase job security.

A statement from the academic registrar said that the University “will remain open on this day and is committed to minimising the impact for students of any strike action”.

The national day of action from UCU members on Thursday got underway bright and early at 8 am, with Newcastle lecturers protesting at picket lines alongside some student support. The real action began

at midday with a march and rally organised by UCU that saw students and lecturers from Newcastle University, Newcastle College, Northumbria University, Gateshead College, Sunderland College and Sunderland University, as well as other further education institutions, coming together to march around the city, finishing at Monument.

As Vice-President of the UCU, Kathy Taylor spoke animatedly to the crowd of protestors, urging people not to think that strike action had been the UCU’s first choice, but it had been as a last resort. Thursday’s strike marked the first occasion in the history of the UCU in which all of its members had taken a coordinated strike. Taylor thanked the students for all their support, and explained that “attacks on us from all sides” had led to England’s title as the most expensive country

in the world in which to seek public university education.

With calls for hiring of academics rather than firing of academics, the funding cuts are due to affect not only universities, but higher and further education institutions throughout the country. In particular, Newcastle College faces 171 redundancies in the coming months, as well as its classification as an ‘edu-business’ being symbolic of the treatment of education as a commodity to be bought and sold.

Student apathy towards the strikes, some lecturers warned, was an indication of how little realisation there has been of the consequences of the funding cuts and job losses set to have far-reaching effects on job availability, types of employment, pension provision and work conditions.

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

News

7

Security clamps down as reports of drug abuse at University halls soar Fran Infante Editor More students have been caught taking cannabis on campus this academic year than ever before, statistics released by the University show.

Last week The Courier learned that since September 2010 there had been 15 confirmed incidents of drug misuse in University managed halls of residence, dwarfing the previous year’s total of nine.

So far this year there have been seven arrests at Castle Leazes, six at Richardson Road and one at both Henderson Hall and Grand Hotel.

Since these findings were reported to The Courier, two more incidents occurred in the early hours of Sunday March 19 and Monday March 20, bringing the total for the year so far to 17.

Though 17 incidents out of more than 4,000 first year students may seem insignificant, if taken relative to last year’s total and added to the fact that in the year 08/09 there were no such reported incidents, this increase is significant.

An official from the University of Estates and Accommodation Services confirmed that the substance involved in all incidents was cannabis.

The same official was also keen to emphasise that: “the figures relate to incidents where disciplinary action was taken; they do not include reports of suspected drug use or where no individual could be identified as being responsible,” indicating that , as a result, it is likely that the levels of cannabis abuse in halls of residence are much higher than these statistics would suggest.

He also confirmed that there had

been more of an issue with illegal substances on campus than in previous years: “We are keen to do everything we can to enable students to enjoy their first year of university, but we are not prepared to tolerate any substance abuse.” He told The Courier: “We have a duty of care to ensure that all students living in university controlled halls feel safe and secure in the homes and that having to share a flat with others who habitually break the law can be intimidating and uncomfortable.”

As of the start of the next academic year, the University plans to enforce a zero tolerance policy of any illegal substances in accommodation.

“We cannot condone this sort of behaviour, not only is it illegal but we are aware it frequently leads to other irresponsible behaviour such as covering smoke detectors which could endanger the lives of other residents.”

In most cases, students using cannabis are caught by University Police Officers investigating noise complaints in the early hours of the morning. It is the standard policy for Northumbria Police to be called and the student or students involved to be arrested. They are usually later released with a cannabis caution.

Following this, the University Estates Service will issue a final written warning to the student notifying them that any further offences will lead to them being evicted from halls.

Commenting on these new figures, Welfare and Equality Officer Sarah Fearns told The Courier: “I’m not sure if it’s necessarily that there has been an increase in the use of cannabis amongst students, though that is a possibility. It may, however, be symptomatic of the University

In all 17 confirmed incidents of drug misuse at University managed halls, the reported substance was the classified B drug cannabis

Accommodation Service’s stricter monitoring of drug use in halls, with stricter consequences for offenders.

“I welcome measures that will discourage students from using harmful and illegal substances, par-

ticularly when their doing so puts other students’ health and security in jeopardy.”

To put it simply, a slap on the wrist just isn’t good enough Heather Shaw Commentary

I

s it right that Newcastle University should adopt a strict zero tolerance policy concerning drugs? Of course it is.

Drugs are illegal for a reason. Take, for example, cannabis -

it is classified in group B because it is scientifically proven to have significantly harmful effects on those who take it.

These effects range from increased risk of schizophrenia to paranoia.

A naively liberal perspective might suggest that those caught in possession of such drugs should be allowed a second chance, especially if it was for personal use. However, this is a far too simplistic view of

drug crime.

Buying supposedly milder drugs, even for personal use, is, in the bigger picture, essentially condoning the entire illegal drug trade, and the crime that goes with it, from robbery to prostitution.

To put it simply, a slap on the wrist just isn’t good enough, particularly when a top-quality academic institution, such as Newcastle, has its reputation to consider.

To tolerate such appalling behav-

iour would be to undermine the moral integrity of the University as a whole.

One simply cannot argue that toleration of drugs should be allowed. Answers such as ‘teenage experimentation’ are laughable.

Upon registering with the University, we sign documents promising to abide by its code of conduct.

If we are expected to take responsibility for ourselves financially and educationally, how is it fair to

make excuses for drug consumption?

Quite rightly, if these rogue students failed every module, they would be asked to leave. If they didn’t pay their tuition fees, they would be asked to leave.

Besides, with a maximum penalty for possession of drugs being seven years’ imprisonment, expulsion is the least of the worries for the students in question.

Nearly every student encounters drugs in one form or another Finola Miles Commentary

D

isagreeing with the University’s zero tolerance drug policy doesn’t automatically condone drug use.

If we are being re-

alistic, nearly every student will encounter drugs in one form or another at their time at university; be it taking them, being around people taking them, selling, buying, offering or being offered drugs.

It is not my intention to promote these choices, but I do think that it is naive to ignore the commodity of drugs in the University environment.

Depending on your offending

drug of choice, the maximum penalty can be a life sentence in prison for dealing class As, like ecstasy and cocaine, or up to 14 years in prison for class B drugs like cannabis.

Possession, the lesser evil, will get you up to 7 years in prison for class A, then 5 years and 2 years according to the lower classes.

A lot of us came to university at 18, having been inexperienced in

life and anxious about the three years ahead of us. Peer pressure plays a huge role in drug-taking at university and people may go on to regret taking drugs - so why sentence them to expulsion from university and almost-certain inability to go elsewhere?

I think that because of the range of both drugs and effects, it would be wrong to operate a proposed blanket zero-tolerance drug policy.

The University could perhaps consider random drug testing and high fines for offenders (as imposed by the police, and schools in some cases), or expulsion in the case of the more extreme drugs.

If the University were to hypothetically operate immediate expulsion, it could risk losing more students (and thus more money) than it had bargained for.

8

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

News

Heavy fines to hit universities that fail to help disadvantaged students stay in education Georgina Cossins Universities could be heavily fined £500,000 for failing to ensure they are helping students from the poorest backgrounds to stay in higher education.

The Office for Fair Access (OFFA) published a report stating universities that charge more than £6,000 a year in tuition fees must ensure disadvantaged students will not be financially discouraged from going to university - otherwise they could be penalised.

Although Newcastle University has yet to release whether or not tuition fees will rise, ministers re-

cently admitted that it is likely most universities will charge well over £8,000 a year.

Every year thousands of high-flying state school students do not win places at the top universities, largely because they do not even apply.

It has recently been reported that many bright pupils are often deterred by their teachers from applying to the top universities.

In an interview with the Sunday Times, David Willets, the Universities Minister said: “There are people who are getting good GCSEs and good A-levels but at schools that don’t seem to send them to the most competitive universities. “

Newcastle University also admitted to the difficulties faced when working with schools.

“It is a challenging agenda for all universities to work with schools, colleges and other agencies to help to raise the aspirations of young people from families where there is no experience of going to university, or from schools or areas where the numbers going to university may be relatively low.”

However, the University also said: “Newcastle University has a long and successful track record of working with schools and colleges, particularly in the North East, North West, Yorkshire and Humberside.

“We are confident that our work and success to date provide an excellent basis for further activities with more schools and colleges in the future and we do not feel threatened by OFFA’s requirements.”

Every year the University invests millions of pounds in their various outreach schemes. In 2009-10 the University invested more than £6 million of which almost £4 million was in the form of bursaries for students from lower income backgrounds.

The University is currently in the process of deciding how much more money they will need to invest from 2012-13, in line with the require-

ments set out in the OFFA guidance.

Of course, the price of tuition fees yet to be announced by the University will determine the amount of money the University will have to invest in for 2012-13.

Nevertheless, there have been concerns that, with the political pressure to tinker with admissions on social engineering grounds rather than pure academic merit, discrimination might occur based on students’ social backgrounds.

Newcastle University assured The Courier: “At Newcastle we aim to attract the brightest and best students, regardless of background.”

Assange speaks to Cambridge

contributions from Scottish students or increasing tuition fees for students from elsewhere in the UK. Cuts to public funding for higher education are being accompanied by an increase in the cap on tuition fees in England, but in Scotland, where opposition to fees remains strong, there are concerns that the cuts could lead to a funding gap of up to £200 million a year.

Rosie Libell

The Careers Service provides information and advice on developing your skills, finding a part-time job, work experience, supporting business start-up and (when the time comes) exploring graduate opportunities.

For more details about these and other vacancies, including details of how to apply, visit their website at www.ncl.ac.uk/careers.

Vacancies brought to you by the Careers Service...

Job Title: Assistant Sports Coaches Employer: Super Camps Ltd Closing date: 20/06/2011 Salary: From £235 per week Basic job description: Reporting to the Senior Coach, you will assist in the organising, planning and delivery of our Mad About Sports course.

Location: Various Job Title: Computer System Installation Engineer Employer: Invate Ltd Closing date: 15/04/2011 Salary: £10 per hour Basic job description: Delivery and set-up of computer systems to our customers. Explain the software and hardware and assist with any queries.

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Location: Gateshead Job Title: LED TV Sales Specialist 2011 Employer: Gekko Partners Ltd Closing date: Ongoing Salary: £75 per day (8 hours) Basic job description: Working within into electrical retail outlets to drive sales, conduct training to increase staff knowledge to ensure effective promotion of their range of LED TVs. Person Requirements: Must be

available each weekend until the end of January 2012.

Location: Gateshead Job Title: Part-time Lettings Consultant Employer: Walton Robinson Closing date: ASAP Salary: To be confirmed Basic job description: Duties include: accompanied viewings, negotiating offers, calling mailing list, meeting & greeting customers and general administration duties.

Person Requirements: You’ll need a full UK driving licence and be available to work every Saturday with additional hours available during the week.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne Job Title: Sales Advisor Employer: House of Fraser Closing date: 03/04/2011 Salary: National Minimum Wage Basic job description: Part time Sales Advisor required for beauty department of large Metrocentre store. Duties include liaising with customers, selling products, cash handling, product knowledge and maintenance of displays.

Location: Gateshead (Metrocentre) Job Title: Sales Advisor Employer: Barclays Bank Closing date: ongoing Salary: £16,000 pro rata Basic job description: Outbound Sales. Part Time shift patterns are: Mon - Thurs 17:00 - 20:00 & All Saturdays 9:00 - 15:30. Roles are to start in April 2011.

Person Specification: Sales experience preferred.

Location: Sunderland Job Title: Sales Advisor (HMV) Employer: Orange Closing date: ASAP Salary: £6.18 per hour plus com-

mission Basic job description: You will need to be able to explain tariffs, give detailed demonstrations and give advice to our customers.

Location: Silverlink, North Shields Job Title: Student Brand Ambassadors (Public Relations) Employer: Uni Brand Closing date: 30/04/2011 Salary: £6.50 - £8.00 per hour Basic job description: We are looking for students to represent our brand within key further education locations around the country. Various promotional activities will be undertaken Location: University Campus Newcastle Work Experience (NWE) NWE offers project based work placements in local companies.

Summer placements are for 10 weeks full time with a bursary of £2,400. Visit Vacancies Online and select Work Experience, and check the ‘Newcastle Work Experience’ option for details of all opportunites.

Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience – Summer Placements Available Soon!

Employer: North East Businesses Salary: £2,400 bursary Basic job description: Placements available soon in a range of areas including PR, Marketing, Engineering, Science, IT and Business Planning. Full time for 10 weeks from June/July.

Person requirements: Register your interest now at www.ncl. ac.uk/career/nwe Location: North East Person Requirements: You MUST be entering the final year of your study in September 2011.

Location: University Campus

In an hour long talk, Julian Assange paid tribute to the power of “radical publishers”, such as Wiki leaks, to bring about major international upheaval.

The director and public face of the whistleblower website travelled from Norfolk, where he is currently under house arrest, to speak to a packed Union chamber.

The talk, which was open exclusively to Union members, was overseen by a team of eight security guards who enforced a blanket ban on audio and visual recording devices. Reflecting on the role of the internet, he stated: “it is not a technology that favours freedom of speech”, calling it “the greatest spying machine ever made.”

Mosely slams tabloid editors in UCL speech Max Mosley spoke at UCL last week, railing against tabloid newspaper editors and calling for tighter legal restrictions on the media.

The former Formula One chief lodged a case at the European Court of Human Rights (ECHR), claiming that the UK is in breach of human rights legislation by not requiring newspapers to notify the individuals involved in news stories before going to print.

If the UK responds to Europe’s recommendations, judges could issue injunctions preventing editors from publishing stories if the court deems that they are not in the public’s interest.

Scottish students propose ways to close funding gap The National Union of Students Scotland claims the proposals could solve the problem without requiring

Lib Dem deputy leader defends party policies at Union Council Deputy Liberal Democrat Leader Simon Hughes spoke to Union councillors before the Lib Dems’ held their Spring Conference in Sheffield.

In a heated debate about tuition fees, Hughes was questioned about why he abstained from his vote and whether the new policies were purely ideological. Jonathan England, Economics Councillor, said: “The government is going to cost more, the deficit is going to rise; how do you expect to sell to the public that it is not ideologically driven? You’re a Lib Dem at the heart of this – how have you allowed this to happen?”

Former Irish PM calls for climate justice Mary Robinson, a former President of Ireland and United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights, brought about the need for a respect of human rights in the climate change debate in her speeches at the London School of Economics, last week.

Robinson was President of Ireland from 1990 to 1997 and UN High Commissioner for Human Rights from 1997 to 2002. She elucidated the need for a legally binding agreement on emissions to protect the poorest countries which contributed the least to anthropogenic climate change. Developed countries’ impact on climate change, Robinson said, are an infringement of human rights.

9

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

How will the return of Gerry Adams to politics be received?

Comment Editors: Laura Heads and Danny Kielty - courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk

> Page 11

Union Council needs reform and direction Peter Campbell

I attended my first Students’ Union Council meeting earlier this month.

I had heard stories about the lack of democracy and representation for students, but they were not enough to prepare me for the boredom, tedium and nit-picking of Students’ Union Council.

It was clear that the small number of students involved were very set in their ways. More interested in point scoring against each other than trying to work out the best direction for our Students’ Union.

At the moment, most students appear not to see a problem with this, but Students’ Union Council is the major decision-making body of our Union of which every student is a member.

It decides the pay of Sabbatical Officers and holds them to account if they fail to act in the interest of the students.

It also makes important decisions about who is allowed on Union property. There is currently a boycott on the National Blood Service due to its policy of not accepting blood from men who have sex with other men.

So it’s massively important. Yet only 72 students and 6 Sabbatical Officers out of over 20,000 decide the direction of our Students’ Union.

But not only that, it’s also not working. The current issue of the

You, The Courier Victoria McMurray, Business student, reviews the last edition

I

enjoyed reading this week’s edition of The Courier. The story on the Newcastle students in Japan really brought home the experiences of those involved. The election coverage was also good but I would have preferred a list of each candidate who won alongside their picture to get a better idea of who our new Student Union team are. The yes/no piece in Comment on AVS was informative and well argued. The new columnist definitely deserves a mention too!

The blind date was, as always, a good read and the review has definitely added another place to my list of restaurants to try in Newcastle!

In Culture, the ‘FestivalsHome or Away?’ tied in really

lecturers strike has also not been debated by Union Council, leaving the Sabbatical Officers with no clear direction on whether to support the strike or not.

With Students’ Union Council regularly struggling to reach a quorum of 50 per cent of elected officials (that’s one student for every 568 at Newcastle Uni), something really has to change.

When I ran in the recent elections I campaigned on a platform of every student having a vote at Council.

However, while researching for this article and attending Council I have realised that this is probably not enough; it’s not going to change the over-bureaucratic structure. Instead I would like to see us move to a system like the Guild of the University of Exeter.

Here students put petitions forward online. If a petition gains enough support it becomes a proposal. Proposals can be debated and amended online, before becoming a motion.

Motions are determined by a simple yes or no vote and every student can vote. No long complicated meetings, no worries about democracy, just a simple straightforward system that every student can get their head around.

Some might object to a complete online system, and our current Union website would need massive improvements to create the traffic this system would require.

However, even if we were to move to a system where motions are debated and finalised online, this would massively streamline the process. At the last Students’ Union

well to Lifestyle’s section on festivals and got all readers looking towards a fun-filled summer. Sport, following not only the uni teams but showing support of all students this week, also kept up really well with current events.

What do you think of The Courier this week? Send your 180-word review to courier. comment@ncl.ac.uk

B.CARLIN

Under construction: better representation is needed to make our new Union work

Council more time was spent discussing the wording of the motion than the motion itself.

For example whether a sentence should be worded “women” or

“both genders” in the Students’ Union’s policy on sexual harassment.

These discussions take time and lead to Students’ Union Council being both long and boring.

If the SU is to involve more students it must strip these portions of Students’ Union Council away, so that is does not take two hours to debate four or five motions, or if it does, the motion is actually being debated, not just its wording.

Leeds Students’ Union has taken a different approach to improving representation and democracy.

They have replaced Union Council with three forums, each one discussing a different section of uni life.

Anyone can send a motion to a forum, which is then convened and discussed by officers and a random selection of students (who are reimbursed for their time).

If there is more than 75 per cent agreement the motion passes or fails, anywhere in between and it is put to referendum of the whole student body.

This has the benefit of ensuring that only issues that are contentious are put to the whole student body, yet does retain much of the bureaucratic structures of our current system.

Other unions are beginning to follow suit, such as Portsmouth Union, which is currently undergoing a full review and looks set to follow Leeds, with a three forum situation.

Our new president-elect has a policy of raising awareness of Union structures, I hope that the success of both Leeds and Exeter, with Exeter winning the NUS Best Students’ Union award in 2010, will encourage her to look beyond awareness and to changing our Students’ Union to give the students the control they deserve.

A northern monkey and an opera Louise Naylor

This week, I was delighted to hear that the charity Streetwise are putting on an opera starring only homeless people who have turned their lives around.

The opera is based on ‘The Hartlepool Monkey’, a local legend of a monkey being the sole survivor of a French warship washed up on the shore near Hartlepool during the Napoleonic war.

I’m a little curious about the subject, but I think the choice of cast is a brilliant change that other cities should take on board.

What I find so attractive is the imagination put into the scheme. I’ve never heard of anything like it, and that’s where the beauty lies as it is bound to attract publicity, making the opera a success and changing the cast’s lives forever.

For the extra talented, it could mean a career on stage, even in the West End, where homelessness would be a distant memory.

The trauma of their experiences could also give their performances a depth and honesty that is difficult to fake.

This idea provides a leap forward for the arts, which aims to shock and awe its audience, and help people see the beauty in the world. Well, this opera will do this and more, by making charity active and dignified.

“What I find so attractive is the imagination put into the scheme. I’ve never heard of anything like it, and that’s where the beauty lies as it is bound to attract publicity... changing the cast’s lives forever.”

The benefits of the arts seem to be

rubbing off on the actors too, with the lead male, Drew Foster, saying: “I was an alcoholic; I’m now 15 months clean. I wouldn’t dream of going back to it. For the doors it’s opened - it’s involved film making, poetry recital, drama that’s led on to two plays and just my confidence has soared. My whole outlook has changed.”

He also recognises that his involvement could lead to bigger things: “What I feel is it’s a platform because it’s not just singing. I’m engaged in it now, it’s writing; I’ve also taken an interest in fitness, photography. It just expands your life and I think it’s a good platform for anybody who wanted to go into theatre”.

This approach is so much more effective than the traditional donations, as it removes pity from the act and makes people part of the community again.

The opera is premiering at the Tyneside Cinema in Newcastle from Friday 18 to Thursday 24 March, and I really urge everyone to go and see it.

10

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

Comment

Is nuclear power in Britain still a sensible option?

Yes Jessica Cree

The topic of nuclear power has been thrust back into the media limelight after fears of a nuclear meltdown at the Fukushima plant in north east Japan.

Some countries have decided to review their use of nuclear energy and decide whether new plants should continue to be created, in light of the destruction that has happened in recent weeks, which could be increased further if a meltdown occurs.

But fossil fuels are running out and the energy we use at the moment is polluting our planet and destroying our environment. We need to find a solution to this problem, and quick.

Nuclear energy is the way forward.

I would firstly like to clear up the safety issue of nuclear energy. Britain is in a pretty fortunate location.

I’m not saying that the UK doesn’t suffer from earthquakes, they’re actually quite frequent.

There have been three rumbles in Britain in the last 30 days; however, the largest of these was in Derbyshire and it only reached 1.4 on the Richter magnitude scale, which is not even enough for us to notice.

The quake in Japan reached a staggering 9.0 on the same scale and aftershocks are being experienced daily.

The chances of Britain ever having such a huge disaster are tiny due to the fact that we are not situated on a fault in the tectonic plates. The benefits of nuclear energy far outweigh the tiny risks that would be imposed.

At the moment, the UK’s biggest source of energy comes from coal (37.7 per cent). It is expected that this source will run out within 10 to 15 years and so another energy supply needs to be found.

What’s more, high amounts of CO2 and SO2 (which causes acid rain) are produced when the fuel is burned, making it seriously harmful for our environment.

Our second biggest source of en-

In the aftermath of the catastrophic earthquake and tsunami, is it time to re-examine the use of nuclear power as an energy provider?

ergy comes from gas (35.5 per cent), which also produces high levels of CO2, and domestic reserves are rapidly running out, which is leaving us more reliant on foreign exports and more vulnerable to price increases.

Nuclear power, on the other hand, is a much cleaner source of energy.

It is efficient, reliable and effective, with very few CO2 emissions.

In addition, it is not susceptible to price flux. The chief of French power company EDF, Vincent de Rivaz, has also been promoting the use of nuclear energy, saying that despite the fact that nuclear cannot solve the UK’s power problems on its own, “there is no solution without nuclear”.

In my opinion, nuclear energy, along with other clean sources such as hydro, solar and wind energy, are absolutely necessary to ensure that the UK has a continuing supply of electricity.

Would you be prepared not to use your laptop or watch television on a day-to-day basis? I expect not.

However, we cannot continue to

pollute our planet as we are doing.

Nuclear energy is cost-effective and dependable and could be the solution to all aspects of our energy problems.

No Heather Shaw

Nuclear power is at the forefront of discussion following the ongoing disruption in Japan. The announcement by bosses at French company EDF Energy that they intend to build a new nuclear energy plant in Britain has, for many, stirred up outrage.

The question is, following the spread of radiation in Japan potentially ruining the lives of hundreds

of thousands of people living in the densely populated areas, is nuclear power really a desirable form of energy?

Or, as I suspect, is it something which the ‘innovating’ culture of modern times, obsessed with the next best thing, is idolising, whilst ignoring the more significant risks?

We’ve all heard those manufactured, shallow excuses such as “it’s cleaner” and “it’s cheaper”, as supposed justifications for what is simply a dangerous way of making energy.

Yes, it is technically cleaner than our tried and tested, ozone-munching fossil fuels, but only as long as nothing goes wrong.

No nuclear power plant is 100 per cent infallible; something explicitly exemplified in Japan’s recent events.

Of course, we don’t have the problem of tectonic migration here in the humble British Isles, so we could at least cross that off the list of potential dangers surrounding the intended power station.

However, does that mean noth-

ing can go wrong? No matter how much the ‘efficient’ men in suits dress it up, nuclear power plants are dangerous.

The truth is people make mistakes.

It would take one careless scientist to cause havoc for the nation. Besides, most people learn from mistakes; shouldn’t we all have learned from the 1986 Chernobyl disaster that the risks of nuclear power far outweigh the benefits?

After the explosion of one of the reactors, the surrounding town of Pripyat was devastated; in the short term, people died of radiation poisoning, which according to records, is a slow and undignified, not to mention completely avoidable way to die.

In the long term, reservoirs and rivers were poisoned, leading to an entire generation of people suffering from genetic mutations. So what if nuclear energy is cheap? What price can you put on human life?

Try telling a woman whose child suffers from Down’s Syndrome and spinal abnormalities because of chromosomal aberrations caused by the Chernobyl disaster that the risk is worth it.

I for one would not think twice about prioritising the future generations of my family over the ability to save a few pennies on energy.

Surely it is the government’s duty to look after the welfare of its citizens. Therefore, if the establishment of a power plant has the potential to ruin the health and happiness of millions through the slightest error, such a massive public health risk should be prevented.

A few years of cheap power is nothing compared to the anguish caused by nuclear disaster, so get writing to the government because if there is one thing this country really could do without, it’s the cost - in both lives and pounds - of a meltdown.

Let’s not risk yet another horror in nuclear history by stopping the building of new nuclear power plants in Britain.

Courier Online What do you think? Let us know! Comment on this story and more at: www.thecourieronline.co.uk

Nap and kip: teaching the importance of a good night’s sleep Susie May Beever

Most of us are familiar with that feeling after a heavy night involving one too many cheap trebles and a total of about an hour and a half’s sleep.

Students are infamous for their non-existent sleep patterns. Since coming to university my sleeping routine frequently consists of sitting on Facebook until three o’clock in the morning, and then lying in bed for the remainder of the day.

The advantages of doing an arts degree.

However, a new programme

aimed at schools across Scotland seems willing to change all that.

The charity Sleep Scotland has begun to promote lessons for young people throughout the country which aim to raise awareness about the importance of a good night’s kip, as well as the detrimental effects of sleep deprivation on our emotional and physical well-being.

The charity, which even has its own logo depicting a map of Scotland snoozing away in the North Sea, also offers sleep counselling services.

The sleep programme claims to “support the parents and carers of children and young people with additional support needs and sleep problems” by educating them on how to increase their hours of sleep each night, for example, by not using computers or watching television before going to bed.

The truth is, young people frequently lead themselves into the false pretence that they don’t need as much sleep as is recommended (that’s seven hours a night, by the way).

“Students are infamous for their non-existent sleep patterns. Since coming to university my sleeping routine frequently consists of sitting on Facebook until three o’clock in the morning. ” Many a time have I come home from a night out at half past three, and watching My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding for two hours has seemed

like the most appropriate course of action in spite of a nine o’clock lecture.

Even now, as I write this - Red Bull in hand and eye bags ahoy - I’m still up at 2:45am, which slightly contradicts the whole point of this article.

However, the aftermath effects in the morning more often than not remind us otherwise of a deemed superhuman power to fully function on such little sleep.

Sleep deprivation in the long-run, according to Sleep Scotland, can provoke physical health problems such as acne and weight gain, as well as the psychological effects of depression and low self-esteem. Lovely.

So will the charity’s programme of ‘sleeping lessons’ catch on in the rest of the UK? At £20 a person for a day’s workshop at Glasgow, I remain in doubt.

However, the idea itself is price-

less. As young people, the pressures of full-time education often take their toll, with stress and anxiety over exams being the most frequent cause for students not getting enough sleep each night.

Whilst sitting in a lecture on REM sleep patterns in Glasgow City Chambers for a day seems less than a little inspiring, the notion of being guided on how to cut down on levels of stress and workload and find more time for naps sounds ideal.

The regulation of most students’ body clocks may take more than the odd early night trying to count sheep, yet the long-term effects would indisputably be incredibly beneficial within the education system, with researchers reporting improved concentration after seven to eight hours sleep in one night.

Maybe not a bad idea after all.

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

11

Comment

The vow of Will it be pot of gold politics or a bitter silence return for the controversial Gerry Adams?

J. WHITTAKER

David Bond

It was a move few were expecting.

Last year, Gerry Adams announced he was to contest the Louth constituency in the Republic of Ireland, thereby resigning from the Northern Ireland Assembly and his West Belfast seat, a position he had held since 1983 (apart from a five year gap between 1992 and 1997).

Why did he make the move South, what is he hoping to achieve, and will he be successful?

By the end of his British parliamentary career, Adams had turned himself from a hard-line Republican outcast, once being subject to a voice ban by the Thatcher government, to a respected party politician, especially after reaching a power sharing agreement with staunch unionist Ian Paisley.

In later years, Adams has been less of a controversial figure, though allegations that he was once on the IRA Army Council still dog him.

A cynical take on Adams’ move is a simple one: like many politicians he has a drive for power and a new direction was needed in politics in order to satisfy it.

A seasoned politician at the age of 61, he arguably has fulfilled many of his political aims.

To some, taking on a new and undoubtedly stressful job in the Irish Parliament is a clear indication that Adams had a need to keep hold of power and stay in the public spotlight, especially since his profile in Belfast has lessened since the signing of the Good Friday Agreement in 1998.

Arguably, going for a seat in the Irish Parliament is a desperate attempt to further a political career that is out of the limelight and reaching its sell by date.

These however, are only assumptions. One could argue that this new adventure for Adams is not a cynical grab of power, but a chance to fulfil aims he wasn’t able to in Belfast.

One can easily forget, considering the relatively stable politics in Northern Ireland in the last ten years, that Sinn Fein have still not completed their main objective: a united Ireland.

Sinn Fein’s official line on the subject is a call for a referendum on Irish unity.

This seems a rather meagre demand, perhaps reflecting Sinn Fein’s

realisation that the prospect of Irish unity is unlikely, at least in the near future.

Arguably, Adams has done all he can in the Northern Irish Assembly; his role in the signing of the momentous Good Friday Agreement being key. Now he seeks to gain support in the Republic for reunification with the North.

However, it seems that Irish unity is far down the pecking order in Adams’ manifesto.

Much of his election rhetoric was based on the economic situation in Ireland, the most salient issue of the

election.

So maybe it is indeed a cynical grab at power, as Sinn Fein’s ultimate target of Irish unity seems to have taken a backseat.

The other question is will Adams be successful in the same way he was successful north of the border?

There is no question that he is a skilful politician; managing to be accepted into the mainstream despite handling accusations of IRA membership, then helping to broker the Good Friday Agreement.

He could apply his knowledge and experience in the Dail. Is it too much, too late though for Adams?

62-years-old this October, he is now reaching the latter stages of his political career.

Is there enough time for him to make a significant difference in Irish politics, despite the experience and contacts he has?

A further consideration would be Sinn Fein itself. The party has only 14 seats out of 166.

It is dwarfed by Fine Gael and Labour who have 76 and 37 seats respectively.

The two parties have agreed to make a coalition. Sinn Fein may be a force in Northern Ireland, but that is not the case in the Republic.

With a prominent figure like Adams in the Dail this may change, but it won’t happen overnight. Adams will have most likely retired from active politics before Sinn Fein becomes a driving force in the Irish Parliament.

One can’t question Gerry Adams’ success as a party politician though.

In the 1980s, when he was subject to a voice ban by the British government, it would be hard to imagine that he would one day become a key figure in the peace process.

Similarly, one could be sceptical about the changes he will bring in the Republic of Ireland, but it would be foolish to totally doubt his ability to do so.

He may just surprise us.

Internet Age has implications we need to accept Jui Sadekar

Less than a quarter of a century ago, the internet was an obscure network of large computers used only by a small community of researchers.

At the time, the majority of computers were found in corporate information technology (IT) departments or research laboratories, and hardly anyone imagined that the internet would play such an important role in our lives as it does today.

In fact, the very idea of a “personal computer,” much less millions of them connected by a global network, seemed absurd to all but a handful of enthusiasts.

Today, the internet is far from obscure. It’s the centre of attention for businesses, governments and individuals around the world.

It has spawned entirely new industries, transformed existing ones, and become a global cultural phenomenon.

We’ve seen a lot of amazing things so far, but there is much more to come.

We are probably only at the dawn of the Internet Age! With social networking sites and information search engines spreading at light’s speed, in no time will we view a new Google or Facebook, but how do you find it? BBC News and Education Correspondent, Sean Coughlan said: “It is the ultimate example of how, in the quicksilver digital economy, a clever idea can be turned into a multi-billion corporation”.

He further adds that Stanford University has been at the zenith when

it comes to researching and developing new ideas and projects.

Moreover, the current students there are given entrepreneurial classes to sell their ideas and earn money from other people’s money.

This link between higher education and innovation is a serious business.

Importing universities to boost the local knowledge economy usually refers to parts of the world that are playing catch-up.

The global digital trend is fast changing and in terms of finding the next Google, universities lend themselves to developing online ideas.

Campuses are full of young creative people who can experiment relatively cheaply, and whose ideas can serve a growing market for digital applications.

In the IT field to start with, you need innovation and creativity, a laptop and a few people, the investment is relatively very small as compared to oil industries. But what is

very crucial is an international mix of ideas and exploration.

Top universities from the UK have also engaged themselves in such projects and are generating new applications every single day. China, too, is a growing power and has an enormous investment in this research base.

With the ever growing trend of the internet and related applications, the day is not far when there will be a new creation graduating from campus life, either in America or Switzerland.

In this high-tech world, the importance of research universities to the economy is directly proportional.

Researchers and professors only fear the time when there would be lack of new ideas and innovations.

But that seems to be a very remote case, as it is rightly said: ‘Necessity is the mother of all inventions’, and human beings are never satisfied.

Matthew Blackwell Columnist

So, thanks to fantastic time management and some impressive people dodging, I’ve now taken my place in a circle of chairs, and am looking into the bleary, sleep filled eyes of my peers.

It wouldn’t be surprising if the girl opposite me chirped up with: ‘Hi, my name’s … and I’m an alcoholic’, or better yet, if we were to all join hands and initiate some ritual chanting in the hope of contacting the dearly departed; but no, this is in actual fact a seminar.

My friends tell me these are a rare treat for some students, as they only have them on the second day of each teaching week divisible by three, when Venus aligns with Mars, or at some other obscure time during the lunar month.

However, as a member of the School of English, I am gifted with two of these bad boys a week. Being a third year student, I consider myself somewhat of a seasoned veteran; I still remember my first seminar back in the autumn of 2008, fresh faced and naïve.

Anyway, enough of the maudlin, soon to be a graduate and most probably unemployed speak. My point is that surely I should have developed a way to cope with seminars by now, some reflex defence mechanism that is deployed as soon as I cross the threshold.

Don’t get me wrong, some seminars are great and I walk away feeling truly educated, but a small minority, often those the wrong side of 10am are unbearably, writhe-inyour-chair awkward.

I’m not sure if this is an anomaly localised around the English department or a university-wide phenomenon, but I’ve never experienced a group of people so passionate in their determination to remain silent.

Paradoxically, it seems that the more people there are, the more intense the silence is. The question can be as simple as: ‘Did everyone enjoy the book?’ Eyes start shifting, maybe a shy nod here and there, but absolutely nothing more, as if to commit to an answer of any substance would be akin to some form of social suicide.

Each seminar tends to have its ‘talkers’, those highly opinionated people who argue themselves hoarse. It’s when these individuals are feeling hungover, lazy, tired, or worst of all, are absent altogether that anxiety begins to set in, in anticipation of the oncoming hour of awkwardness.

In one such situation, and this is no exaggeration, the seminar leader asked a question about some form of literary criticism, only to be greeted by a three minute long silence.

Now, this may not seem much but think about it: seventeen people in a room with nothing being said for 180 seconds. It’s suddenly an eternity.

After that it’s like Russian roulette, the tutor’s eyes scanning our terrified faces, looking to mercilessly pin the question upon one of us, and what can I say? I’m no gambler.

12

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

Comment

The staggering precedent for future fees: £66,150 James Sheerin

It was recently revealed that the biggest debt currently owed to the Student Loans Company is £66,150.

Granted, the student over whom this unfortunate debt looms is likely to have lived in London, where the costs for living and so on are ridiculously high.

The course would have lasted at least a minimum of five years, presumably studying something like medicine or law.

However, this is simply a harbinger to September 2012, when these arguably isolated cases become a grim reality for thousands of students across the country, and possibly even worse.

While we look at what this student owes now in 2011, it is incredulous that someone so fresh from education could have amassed such a debt, even before all the grown-up stuff like houses, mortgages and

cars gets taken into consideration.

When the new system is introduced and universities are free to charge up to £9,000 for tuition fees, student debts could reach a staggering £83,000.

What this miscellaneous Londoner’s debt has shown us is how real and imminent the problem is to become.

Universities Minister David Willetts justified the astronomical debt of someone so young by saying that “If these people are training to be lawyers or doctors they are likely to have substantial earnings later on in life.”

If the cynic in me is allowed to rear its head momentarily to say that doctors and lawyers choose these vocations because they pay more for them, then surely they have every right to keep the money they are earning?

We already have tax to deal with.

Instead, they face 30 years of paying back debts three times as high as the doctors and lawyers before them.

As a third year student, my initial instinct was to cast indifference over the tuition fee rises, as I’ll soon be escaping university with my puny debt of something over £20,000

Letters to the Editor “Subject which doesn’t exactly exist” Dear Editor, In response to Miranda Dobson’s article on ‘unequal contact time’, The Courier, Issue 1225.

I am writing with respect to your article on student hours written by Miranda Dobson.

I am a member of staff at the University, and run the degree programme Philosophical Studies, which you mention in your piece.

I would like to know where you got your data for ‘Historical and Philosophical Studies’ - a subject which doesn’t actually exist at Newcastle University!

SINCERELY, LARS IYER PROGRAMME DIRECTOR, PHILOSOPHICAL STUDIES

“More of a general subject grouping” Dear Editor, I got the data from the ‘NUS Student Experience Report 2008’.

The reference to ‘Historical and Philosophical Studies’ was more of a general subject grouping that is stated in a graph on the survey, rather than a specific course subject.

I also said in the article where the data was from!

SINCERELY, MIRANDA DOBSON

“This issue always gets everyone talking” In response to Miranda Dobson’s article on ‘unequal contact time’, The Courier, Issue 1225.

This issue always gets everyone talking - sometimes I can’t believe how much I have to pay for one hour of contact time!

However, I’m an English student too and there’s never time to spare during the week.

I do extra-curricular stuff and this is what fills up any spare time I have though.

I don’t know how students who don’t do extra things can say they are always busy.

- BETH (ONLINE)

“Cluster cloggers ruin it for the rest” In response to Jessica Cree’s article ‘Cluster cloggers ruin it for the rest, The Courier, Issue 1229.

Well said about people locking machines while they go for lunch - I fully agree.

The PCs auto logoff after 15 minutes but a lot of the time they have their friends breaking the count down or finding other methods to stop this.

As staff we try and keep a look out for this, and when machines log out we remove all the students’ things back to the help desk as it is now classed as lost property.

We also write the time they were logged out as the number of times they claim they were only gone 5 minutes when in reality it is normally 45 minutes.

- FREDA (ONLINE)

(small change, I know).

I’m counting my lucky stars that I didn’t decide to put university off for a few years.

However, the likelihood is that we all know someone who is going to be affected or put off university by the tuition fee rises, whether it is a younger brother, sister, cousin or whoever.

My little sister, when she’s mature enough to make the executive decision of which career to pursue from the shortlist of model, actress, fashion designer or astronaut, is going to face an unfair hurdle in terms of tuition fees, which annoys me.

As countless banners read during the protests last year: ‘You’ve had your education, now let me have mine’.

It doesn’t seem right that within a year of proposing the legislation, the floodgates have suddenly shut, so to speak, and many are denied or hindered by the phenomenal increase in university fees.

I don’t know about the world ending in 2012, but with the prospect of these phenomenal student debts , it certainly looks to be the death of university as a mainstream institution.

L.MACKENZIE

Could a debt of £66,150 soon be normal for students studying at Newcastle University?

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

13

Exclusive: nightshift with Newcastle’s campus police > pages 14 & 15

Life

Challenge: Could you live on a pound a day?

Charity RESULTS UK challenge you to live on £1 a day, Olivia Mason discovers how difficult this can be £1 a day doesn’t sound very much does it? In these hard economic times what could that even really buy you? Perhaps half a coffee on campus or the purchase of a chocolate bar from a vending machine?

Certainly not a day’s worth of food though.

However, for 1.4 billion people across the world living below the poverty line, a pound a day is all they have, and is just one of the daily challenges facing those trapped in the cycle of extreme poverty.

So what is the poverty line? Determining the poverty threshold is usually calculated by finding the total cost of all the essential resources that an average human adult consumes in one year. This approach is needs-based in that an assessment is made of the minimum expenditure needed to maintain a tolerable life. Although the poverty threshold may change each year, its current value is £1.

To highlight this global crisis, a UK charity, RESULTS UK, is launching a fundraising campaign from May 2-6 challenging people to ‘Live Below the Line’ and spend just one pound a day on food and drink for five days. Through sponsorship and awareness the charity hopes to help support those living below the poverty line. It is quite a feat but being the stereotypical poor student and feeling up for a challenge I decided to give this a go and find out exactly how difficult it really is.

It was only really a few hours into day one that the true extent of this challenge really hit. Standing in the supermarket with one pound for all my food that day seemed near impossible; even five bananas cost 70p these days while a bag of apples would have completely blown the budget. The rules of the challenge dictate that even herbs and salt and pepper count, along with the contents of the back of my cupboard.

Therefore after a good half hour of searching I gave up and decided to pull my monies together and use tomorrow’s money too to make an epic feast! I bought some pitta bread, baked beans, milk, onions and tinned tomatoes. For a brief moment the temptation to save money and scan all my items through the self service check out as bananas did cross my mind, but you will be pleased to hear, I retained some morals. Surviving until dinner on a bag of 35p pitta bread, dinner was concocted using the onions, tomatoes, and baked beans along with some friendly spices to form a curried feast – a delightfully cheap meal I assure you.

Day two and a bit of milk for breakfast, I have no money though for the day and water is not getting rid of those hunger pains. And all that awaits me at home is baked bean curry and its oh, 10am. However on arriving at the library I realise I have actually picked a very good week for this with the union

elections happening.

One candidate seems to have some sort of home cooker on the go which I linger near for a while, and hit the jackpot with a vegetarian hot dog. I think this is probably one step away from begging but then I am technically living below the poverty line so I figure it is acceptable. So by promising every candidate I will definitely vote for them my belly is quickly full with cake and sweets. A further advantage is that going out drinking at night is out of the question making much more productive evenings I find (as long as you can avoid study cravings).

Day three and I have a fresh pound today but everything I want now seems frivolous, tempting as it would be to blow the lot on one coffee or a chocolate bar I decide that sensibility must prevail and look again to cheap and filling carbs. The most striking thing about living on a pound a day is what constitutes a luxury, when a chocolate bar is costing 80p these days and even a Freddo fetches around 17p there is really no leeway in buying any sort of treats. Therefore a day old pitta bread becomes my new luxury; this tomatoey, carbohydrate rich diet is certainly incredibly uninspiring but does the job. I also have to go to work today where luckily I can stock up on free lemonade, oh the extravagance. A bag of chips would not go a miss mind.

The penultimate day comes with

Shock: Africa and South America are the World’s poorest continents. Surprisingly, 10-20% of the UK’s population live below the line

Preventable: According to UNICEF, 22,000 children die each day because of poverty.

the added challenge that I am going to a rugby match in Edinburgh and then, if that wasn’t tough enough, a friend’s birthday party in the evening. I look at my feeble pound and predict this is going to be somewhat of a challenge. I decide my best bet is to stock up in the morning before I go so I buy some more 35p pitta breads (I now know the prices of most items in my local supermarket) and then find some seeds and walnuts in the back of my cupboard which I fry with sugar for a tasty sweet treat! According to the rules this is technically cheating, but as I only spent 35p on the pitta, I figure I can substitute the rest of my budget with this.

Even with this my companions laugh at my meagre food rations and mutter something about a Chinese buffet while I glare, however it does sound a potentially good place to steal food. Pitta bread and some stolen chips sustain me through the day and I do begin to question the hugely expensive price of food.

At the party in the evening, I steal drink and have a surprisingly cheap night. I would like to note though that minesweeping drinks is certainly ill-advised.

The final day of the challenge and the end cannot come soon enough.

I am a day away from becoming a Freegan and hanging round the Waitrose bins as I am starting to majorly struggle now; although we can all have the odd day where we spend very little the reality of living your life that way is not very easy.

Luckily my flatmates have yet to realise how much of their cereal I’ve been stealing and the odd donated bit of food is greatly received, but five days with no luxuries such as fruit, sweets, or chocolate is starting to take its toll. Sugar levels are potentially quite low; even a bag of Grainger Market pick’n’mix eats the daily budget away and no Sunday mornings spent sitting in a cafe. I have lived on a diet of bread, cous cous, and tinned tomatoes for five days though and definitely feel challenged.

So while I fortunately can go to bed tonight dreaming of all the food I can buy tomorrow, it is a devastating thought knowing that 1.4 billion people across the world live on less than a pound a day.

It’s important to keep in mind the charity’s main aim, which is to help people gain a better understanding of the daily challenges faced by those trapped in extreme poverty, whilst raising essential funds needed to alleviate the problem.

Therefore this May, I urge you all to take up the challenge! Sign up at www.livebelowtheline.org.uk to learn more about the challenge itself and what you can do to help fight poverty.

‘Live Below the Line’ runs from May 2-6. Individuals who raise £200 by 10th April are put into a draw for a chance to meet Hugh Jackman. For more information about taking part, visit: http://www.livebelowtheline.org.uk/ results and http://results.org.uk/

14

Life & Style

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

Life

life

Drink, drugs and drama; all in a night’s work for the University Campus Police How quiet is your campus? Fran Infante and Aimee Philipson shadow the Estates Security Services on a typical night shift to find out exactly what goes on It’s a freezing Thursday night when we turn up for our night shift at the Security Office, stationed subtly in the back of the Armstrong building, armed with a video camera, a notepad and some warm coats. Thinking we were pretty well prepared for a night of CCTV watching, quiet accommodation patrols and answering the phone to students locked out of their flats, we were soon to find out that we were decidedly unprepared for what the night had in store.

After being introduced to our escorts for the night, University Police Officer Derek MacArthur and his colleague Ken Knott, we are ‘kitted out’ in high visibility jackets and given a rundown of the rules for the night; do whatever they say and don’t question it – “it’s for your own safety”. With this in mind we set out on our first accommodation patrol of the night.

As we travelled to our first stop - St Mary’s Hall in Fenham - we get to know our guides a little better. Nothing we can say or do even slightly phases these men, and collectively they’ve seen hundreds of thousands of inebriated, homesick and generally riotous students enjoy their first year at university.

Derek has been keeping students safe for almost 20 years, while Ken has been working for University Security for eight years, and both have a background in the armed forces.

To put it politely, you wouldn’t mess with these guys.

On campus, the University Police Officers have the same responsi-

bilities and power as Northumbria Police, but normally things like urinating in the street and noise complaints, which could potentially end in a criminal record, are dealt with through the University disciplinary complaints procedure. The security services form four teams, working 12 hour shifts, 365 days a year to make sure the campus is secure for students and staff at all times.

As we get out of the van at St Mary’s, we are waylaid by an anxious looking man, but before we can get excited that something might have happened, it becomes clear that he is in fact simply delivering Chinese food and cannot find the right flat. He was gratefully directed through the maze-like buildings to his destination. “See, we help everyone” laughs Derek.

We perform a routine perimeter check to make sure all the external doors and windows are locked and security lights are on and working properly. There used to be a regular instances with burglars around the back of St Mary’s, but since Ken and his team took over eight years ago, there have been none.

The point of accommodation patrols is to check that everything is in working order and the buildings are secure, but it’s also a psychological thing, explains Derek; “By being seen out here patrolling we offer students a sense of security, they expect to see us and often come and have a chat or ask a question. I don’t think they realise how much we do, but most of them appreciate having someone there on the ground with

All kitted out: Aimee and Fran with University Police Officer Derek MacArthur

them to deal with any issues.”

As well as law enforcement, the University Police also have a duty of care to the students and staff on campus, and frequently deal with issues of welfare. “I could tell you stories all night of people’s lives we’ve saved,” Ken begins, and the shift is filled with anecdotes of past incidents from medical emergencies, suicides and burglaries to floods in the Medical School and frightened students walking home alone.

Unexpectedly, they are also often the first people to meet new international students at their halls of residence and help them settle in and get orientated in the first few days of their stay.

From St Mary’s we head to Richardson Road. The University Police have increased their presence here in order to be a visible deterrent to antisocial behaviour. “Before we took over,” Derek reveals, “there was no security presence here at all.

It was like the Wild West.”

As we walk around the halls, Ken tells us about proposed plans to change the standard uniform of the University Police to a more informal navy blazer and slacks. This, he argues, could actually be dangerous to their safety as people assume they are porters rather than campus police. This is quickly proven as we encounter a large group of male students being boisterous and loud. It’s clear that the pre-lash is well underway, yet as soon as they see Ken and Derek approaching they fall silent and start trying to “act sober”, hysterically shushing each other. Ken and Derek don’t even have to say anything; they just nod and smile and keep walking.

As we continue the officers keep a watchful eye out for lone females wandering home from a night out. “The number of girls walking through Leazes Park from St James’ is absolutely horrendous,” Ken tells us, “a lot of women have been assaulted in that area, it’s isolated from the road and so it makes students particularly vulnerable to people lurking around in the shadows.”

On our van patrol through the park later on we bump into a couple enjoying a romantic walk through the dark trees and stop to warn them about the dangers. They’re shocked at our presence and though they admit to knowing the risks they just assumed they would be fine. It is this sort of naivety that allows most of the crimes that occur around campus to happen.

Back at Ricky Road, we hear about

Nerve centre: Security Services monitor the 220 CCTV cameras on campus 24 hours

another issue affecting the infamous ‘party flats’. Ken and Derek take us to the bike racks and show us where a group of four youths attempted to break in to it the night before by cutting holes in the wire casing.

“We are sometimes taken for granted but we take pride in doing our jobs and doing them well” The hole they’ve cut is barely big enough to fit a bicycle wheel through but their method is to slip through themselves and then systematically strip the bikes into smaller pieces and pass them out to waiting accomplices. This time they were caught and the hole was resealed, but it is an endless cat and mouse game between campus security and the criminals.

“We’re constantly on the lookout for people who might be up to no good” says Ken. “We’re trained to spot people who look like they don’t belong on campus but what

we’re finding now is that some local criminals are actually deliberately dressing like students in order to avoid detection.” There were 92 crimes committed on campus last year and bicycle thefts were the most frequent by far. In response to these statistics, the Security Services are planning a widespread poster campaign to deter bike thieves from students’ bikes.

As the night continues we see the first signs of students stumbling home from their nights out but things remain relatively quiet. To keep us awake, Ken and Derek tell us about some of the more colourful incidents that can happen during their 12 hour night shifts, which prompts the question - do they ever get scared? “Not anymore,” replies Derek, “I started this job when I was in my early 20s and I was a bit nervous at first but you get used to it, it’s what we do.”

Gradually we get to know a bit more about the men behind the uniforms. Both are fathers and it’s clear that the paternal instinct to protect is something that drives them through every shift. “I have a teenage daughter who is looking at coming to uni-

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

Life

A.PHILIPSON

a day, focusing especially on ‘hot spots’ such as ‘Lovers’ Lane’, Richardson Road and the area outside the Robinson Library

versity,” says Derek, “so when I see young girls drunk out of their minds and wearing almost no clothes I feel a really strong duty of care to make sure they get home safely.”

As we push through the undergrowth at the back of the halls, we ask about the pressures of safeguarding thousands of students at once, especially with enormous quantities of alcohol involved. “A sense of humour helps,” says Ken, “most of us are ex-forces and it helps if you can be a little bit silly amongst yourselves,” adding more seriously, “you just can’t dwell on some of the stuff we see – it can be pretty traumatic.”

Over the last few years the University has invested heavily in the installation of CCTV across campus – there are currently 220 in operation, and more set to come online with the reopening of the Students’ Union building in September and the launch of the new INTO site in 2012. While some may be suspicious about the idea of a ‘Big Brother’ watching them all over campus, during the shift we saw it in practice and actually found it to be remarkably comforting. The Security

Control Centre which monitors the cameras has a direct link up with Northumbria Police and Northumbria University Security Services, ensuring the three forces work extremely closely together.

As we pass Ricky Road at about 2.30am we see a young girl in a white coat walking alone past the Sports Centre. Carrying a large book bag she couldn’t look less like she is on her way home from a night out if she tried. “I bet you anything she’s going to the 24 hour computer cluster at the Medical School,” says Derek. As she sets off down the darkened ‘Lovers’ Lane’, which has in the past been the location for some serious assaults on female students, he radios to the control centre to ask them to watch her on the cameras and make sure she stays safe. “Already on it,” comes the radio reply.

We continue our walk around the back of Marris House halls of residence and a few minutes later get radio confirmation that the girl has indeed arrived at the medical school safely. Nothing has happened and she will never know that there were careful eyes watching her as she made the 10 minute walk in the

middle of the night, but they were there, just in case.

At 4am the parade of drunken students begins to dwindle and we decide to do another van patrol around campus. The officers inform us that Newcastle is listed as one of the safest universities in the country. Out of a list of the 25 largest it ranks at number 12. “If we weren’t pretty good at what we do I’m sure we wouldn’t have a certain Princess coming here and living in halls,” says Ken in reference to Princess Eugenie, who came to Newcastle last year, and broke with Royal convention by living in halls of residence.

“It’s remarkable how blasé students are about letting people into their flats; all you have to do is press the buzzer and say ‘Pizza!’”

However, some students are tempting criminals by being careless and naive. “It’s remarkable how

blasé students are about letting people into their flats; all you have to do is press the buzzer and say “Pizza!” and the door opens - we call it the universal key!”“ We are sometimes taken for granted but we take pride in doing our jobs and doing them well,” adds Derek. Minutes later we are called to the library to meet another girl who has not been so lucky. Second year Geography student Sarah Tupper was walking home from a night out when three youths ripped her phone out of her hands as she walker through a dark alley. Terrified, Tupper ran home and woke her housemates who rung the University Police. Another friend called the stolen phone and the thieves answered, saying that they should meet up in order to return it. A surreal half an hour followed as we found ourselves crouching under the windowsill of a Politics classroom watching as Sarah and her friends waited outside to see if the thieves would show up.

The irony of trying to be incognito whilst sporting high-visibility jackets should not be underestimated.

After 20 minutes it became clear that they were not coming. Sarah, though not drunk, was visibly shaken by the encounter so we decided to call it a night and walk her home where an officer from Northumbria Police met them to take a statement.

Speaking a few days later Sarah told The Courier: “I never usually walk home by myself. I was on the phone to my friend and I thought I’d keep walking while I chatted to her.

In the daylight Jesmond seems like a really safe area but I think at night it’s so easy for someone to hide in the shadows and wait for students who never think it’s going to happen to them.”

As we leave Sarah, Derek receives a radio call and we’re off back to Ricky Road, where a noise disturbance has turned sour. We’re told that two other officers had gone to investigate a noise complaint at the flats, but had in the process found distinctive evidence of drug use.

Nine students were reported to be involved and as we pulled up, a police car sped down the driveway in front of us.

As there were already a number of Security staff and Northumbria Police present we decided to stay outside, but we listened on the radios as the incident developed. It became clear that one of the students had thrown a small bag out of the flat’s window as the police entered and it had been recovered by Security only to find that it was full of a white powder suspected to be amphetamines. An ultimatem was issued to the group that they would all be arrested unless someone owned up.

Eventually we watched as one male was led out in handcuffs and driven away in a police car. He was later issued with a cannabis caution and released.

Whether students realise it or not Security Services are constantly monitoring potential risks everywhere around them. It was an eyeopener to see just how much they do which goes unnoticed by most residents and users of the university.

Twelve exhasuting hours later, what did we learn from the night?

That students need to repay the attention paid to their safety by other by taking the advice they receive seriously and doing their bit to keep their belongings and themselves safe.

15

Life & Style

The Penny Pincher #17 Easter treats Sarah Bennett Columnist

Wow, so how has it come to this?

How did Easter creep up on us at such a fast rate?! I won’t go into detail about how many weeks us finalists have, but we all know it’s not a lot!

I know my thoughts are beginning to turn towards Easter eggs. I haven’t given up chocolate for Lent or anything, I just like the thought of Easter eggs! I’m looking forward to having an ‘egg-shaped Easter’ this year – in Germany last year, there were no eggs like we’d expect in the massive cardboard cartons, just Lindt bunnies. Now, I’m a massive fan of Lindt bunnies, but after eating them for a while, you do miss the cheaper chocolate!

So what are you expecting this Easter? Here are a range of treats to get your tastebuds going: http://www.easter-eggs.org.uk/ I stumbled upon this site quite randomly, but I am very glad I found it. It is literally a fountain of knowledge when it comes to Easter and Easter eggs. It is essentially a blog which reviews various different Easter eggs. It’s also got links to all the main manufacturers’ websites, links to various types of Easter eggs (to narrow down the search a bit), and also, my favourite, links to discount sites. It also displays current offers along the top of the site, so ticks all the boxes there!

Make-your-own If you want to make your Easter treat-giving a little more personal, but still fairly cheap, all you’ll need is an egg box. All you’ll need to do is decorate the box with things that the person receiving it will like, and fill it with a selection of the smaller eggs that are available. My grandparents used to do this for me, and the excitement was as much about what they would decorate the egg box with every year as about the chocolate inside! This doesn’t even have to just be for Easter. You can fill the box with absolutely anything that fits into an egg box, so maybe a chance to unleash your creative talent?

Laptops So last week I was all devastated about my laptop being completely wrecked, through no fault of my own. I spent the entire week searching different sites and the one I eventually landed on was www. laptopsdirect.co.uk. This site came highly recommended from a friend and, low and behold, I found the laptop I wanted, cheaper than in the shops. Most of the laptops here are Grade A1, which only means that they have been taken out the box, but have never been used. The service was good, though ringing me up to find out why I was getting it sent to an address that wasn’t my billing one was a highlight. I did get a good deal with internet security too, they wanted to sell me something for £30, but when I said I wasn’t interested, they knocked off £10 – penny pinching at its best!!

Happy Easter to everyone and Happy Revising!

16

Lifestyle

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

Sex & Relationships

sex & relationships double blind date

Dangerous Liaisons

Mike Haynes & Holly Vos

#17 Unrequited Love

He said: Thanks to the cowardice/bashfulness of a good friend of mine, I found myself being asked to be the gent on a blind date for The Courier.

Immediately having flashbacks to the days of Cilla on Friday nights on ITV, I gladly accepted without question. After a few texts, Holly and I agreed to meet up for a coffee on Sunday.

There was an awkward moment when we were both at Haymarket, wondering if the other was who we were waiting for but, thankfully, I was approached by someone who I’d normally class as way out of my league, asking to go to Costa. Having been up since 7 that morning and rowing the 32km to Quayside and back I was in dire need of a pick-meup. A good litre of cappuccino later I was back on form and the conversation moved beyond the standard Freshers’ where are you from/what are you studying to more in depth matters.

Like everyone else I tell, Holly clearly thought I was a headcase for studying French and German but with her doing a dissertation for Genetics, it seemed we were equally mad. It turns out that, even if you have little in common, you can still have a very pleasant afternoon sipping at a coffee and having some excellent conversation, as was the case here.

My suspicions were aroused, however, when Holly went to the toilet and ‘coincidentally’ a randomer spilled his tray of coffee perilously close to where I was sitting. Clearly, I needed to improve my level of charm and opened with buying Holly a second cup of tea. From then on our conversation improved a hundred fold and awkward silences were a thing of the past.

Inevitably, the list of things we could talk about was exhausted

Pamela Mardle Columnist

and we admitted we both needed to do something productive with our weekends and crack on with some work. Sigh.

What did I think of my blind date?

Although not having a lot in common, we managed to have a really nice time and I hope Holly enjoyed free tea for an afternoon.

She said: After being coerced into my first blind date, (not counting those where you’re not so sure what they looked like as you had a few drinks too many) I didn’t know where to start. For once in my life I wasn’t late; for those who know this is impressive. As I didn’t know what Mike looked like I was a little worried about spotting him in a crowd.

Once I saw him I crossed my fingers and hoped I wasn’t about to approach a randomer and make an idiot out of myself – luckily it was him and I managed not to embarrass myself.

So, we headed on to Costa and as I’m not one for giving things up anything for Lent I indulged in a chocolate brownie. Mike on the other had given up dieting, so he got a nice slab of cake. I thought this a bit backwards until he explained that as a rower normally he had to maintain his weight.

We got chatting starting with the usual questions. As a language student he plans to take his year abroad in the south of France, though I got the impression that the presence of a ski resort was the real selling point.

Having in the past been laughed off

the dry slopes I didn’t get the appeal, but each to their own.

As the date progressed it became clear that we were different in every way possible – he’s really into his sport, while my idea of sport is dancing with a glass of wine in my hand. Although we both enjoy a good night out we have completely different tastes; I am not one for fancy dress but I discovered Mike could be a bit of a cross dresser. His excuse being there are hardly any guy’s costumes, hmm whatever you say!

So as you can imagine from half way through the date it became apparent that a second date wasn’t on the cards. It would seem this time round opposites unfortunately don’t attract, but overall I enjoyed the afternoon.

madame vs monsieur

Help! Madame & Monsieur, I’m suppose to be moving in with my girlfriend but I’m note sure if I want to...

Ive been in a relationship since first year, almost two years now, but I dont feel the same as I did.. We are looking to move in together once we graduate in the summer, which I’m not really sure about because I know it could be a nightmare. Although we get on, I can’t see myself settiling down with her, not yeat anyway. I’m not sure whether to ride it out or end it, but I dont want to hurt her.

I used to have commitment issues and we have split over these before. We got back together because I really did love her but its less than a year since that and now Im doubting whether I want a future with her.

K.VONG

Monsieur If you’re not happy, then and you need to do something about it. Tell her soon. That way she’ll be able to look for other arrangements for next year, and you can start doing this too. What’s the point in hanging on to something that is not making you happy. Your girlfriend will have probably picked up that things

aren’t right, so hopefully it won’t come as too much of a shock for her.

I can’t help but think that you have just been wasting time in this relationship if you aren’t happy. If you do find that can’t stick with a relationship for more than a few years, then you probably do have commitment issues. In which case you will never find anyone that makes you happy long term... Kidding! Go see a shrink and they’ll sort it out.

Madame You sound like a bit of an idiot to me so I’ll keep this simple. You should not, I repeat not, be moving in with the madame if you think it will be a ‘nightmare’. Although you claim it may be because you don’t want to hurt her the bottom line is that you’re simply too scared - reach into you pants, locate your balls and man up.

It will be worse for both of you after six months ‘riding out’ time when you still haven’t changed how you feel, think how hurt she will be then. You’ll definitely still be looking for your balls if that point comes because she’ll have kicked them up your arse. Bite the bullet, tell her how you feel and if she tells you you’re just having commitment issues again pretend you’ve had sex with her best mate, she’ll have to split up with you then.

Unrequited love: what a tragic predicament to be in. I mean that in the sincere sense of the word; a feeling so painful, Shakespeare felt compelled to stage many a devastating saga based on the allconsuming heartache of loving another and not having any warmth returned. Take the “comedy”, A Midsummer Night’s Dream: lovestruck Helena’s efforts were entirely wasted on Demetrius, whose object of affection, Hermia, did nothing to encourage his admiration and instead humiliated him in his attempts to woo her.

Why couldn’t it just be simple, love those who love you; the makings of a true romance, a la Romeo and Juliet, where star crossed lovers go along with that old meddler destiny and love happily ever after. (Until it turns sour that is and both parties end up topping themselves – even this romance ended tragically, so really it boils down to Old Billy’s sadistic ways; perhaps somebody rejected his advances once and the ill fate of his protagonists were a result of his bitterness).

I don’t think there could be a worse feeling than falling head over heels for someone completely on your own. Conventionally, love stories centre on a couple; sucks for those who act out their romance entirely solo. Perhaps the other person is ignorantly unaware of the fact that they are involved in a tragedy which could be a romance if they only opened their eyes.

On the other hand, there comes a time when the devotee should realise that the marriage they have mapped out on their pin board (down to the fifth dance song, and accommodating Grandma’s dog with his own canine fruit cake) simply will not be realised without the agreement of the intended.

There are times when fate truly fails and the beautiful coincidences seen by the devotee (bumping into each other alone at sunset in Jesmond Dene) are in fact incidences being recorded to file for a restraining order on the part of the stalkee.

Cruel as it is, not having the feelings of affection returned by the person on whom these emotions are centred, we should all have a point at which we realise it is just not going to happen. The wonderful daydreams created in boring lectures are cringey to the outside world (think back to the Disneythemed singing mentioned a few weeks ago – just awful) and are best kept to yourself. A chance meeting in Riverside is not the time to tell a person that you think about them all the time, no matter how drunk you are. Ultimately, a dose of dignity is required as an antidote to the pain of unrequited love.

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

17

Health

Lifestyle

health

Shewees freely on the sea shore Maria’s diet diary Andrew Curry takes a look at the latest phenomenon to tackle the female festivalista problem of the portaloo Legs crossed, count to ten, hold your breath, DON’T think of waterfalls.

Sound familiar?

That burning feeling in your gut when you’ve been caught short on a bus and every road bump and corner makes you almost faint? We’ve all been through it. Whether you’re in a lecture right at the front with an hour left or at the acoustic stage at Glastonbury with an epic hike to the nearest portaloo, there are always times when you wish your bladder was a bit stronger.

Rather like circumcision, the ironman contest and sumo wrestling, peeing is a hell of a lot easier for guys than it is for girls. I don’t mean to sound sexist (my mother reads these articles) but guys are generally better equipped for emergencies than girls. Not only can we control direction, but we can also control retention in a tight spot with our abs of steel. But do not worry, gentle womenfolk, help is at hand.

Relatively new to the market is a device called the ‘sheewee’. Complete with its own website, it is described as ‘the portable urinating device for women’; I’m going to guess that it has colonised the market.

Thinking back, I cannot think of many other standard ‘urinating devices for women’ let alone portable ones. Other than being generally hilarious, the ‘sheewee’ actually seems quite functional. It is small, redoubtable and practical, shaped like an ice-cream scoop funnel, meaning you can point where you want it to go. The website states that it is ‘loved by women such as polar explorer Ann Daniels, to Fearne Cotton and those who are disabled.’

Pretty much all bases covered there; I mean anything that is loved by both Fearne Cotton AND the disabled community must be an instant sensation.

There is, in my opinion, still an obvious conundrum. Yes, you can now pee with style, class and dignity, showing off your latest purchase rather than your bum, but where

Weight Before: 9 stone 3 pounds Weight After: 9 stone 2 pounds

Shewee: During the festival season, the invention of the shewee means there’s no need for ladies to queue for hours to use a toilet.

does the liquid actually go? There isn’t a receptacle; you can’t pay an extra £3 for a handy re-sealable, sanitised container attachment and utility belt. I believe the premise is that you are outside in the first place, or that you have a handy bottle-withcap on you. I am going to presume that they are not advocating the free flow of urine on the floor which is, of course, illegal.

The ‘sheewee’ comes in a variety of colours at £7.70 and is, fascinatingly, NATO approved. Unless there is another harmless business out there

that is using the acronym ‘NATO’, the ‘sheewee’ has managed to get the Military alliance of democratic states in Europe and North America to approve its product. Perhaps they are standard issue for all female military personnel (there is one available in camouflage green), or perhaps they are budget made in Egypt and NATO are doing their bit for trade in struggling countries.

The Sheewee website also promises added extras that are available when purchasing your product. It has extension pipes, cases and even

a pocket knife – perhaps if you need to ward off bears whilst trekking in the Arctic... All very reasonably priced and with the Fearne Cotton/ Disabled Person/North Atlantic Treaty seal of approval. Boom.

All in all the shewee heralds a new era of female independence. Along with the bra, the hair straighteners and Justin Bieber, it allows women to express themselves freely without having to trek miles to use a minging portaloo. Whilst it tries to be classy and subtle, you will excuse me whilst I piss myself laughing.

Lucy Johnson uncovers how to get sparkling teeth without a costly pricetag If you’re a fan of the occasional glass of red wine, and have a regular Monday morning coffee, you’ll be no stranger to tooth discolouration. Of late, many high street brands have popped up to fill the affordable gap for at-home tooth whitening.

Of course, there are many ways to improve your smile (if you so wish). A regular scale and polish from your hygienist will prevent your teeth staining, but will set you back a few quid if you’re keen on doing it every time you visit. One of the biggest trends of late is laser tooth whitening – a one to two hour process which uses light activated bleaching gel to whiten your teeth, however, it could cost you up to £900, depending on the system and practitioner.

Regularly using whitening toothpaste is one of the easiest and most economical ways to help your teeth stay whiter than white; just make sure you go for a brand like Colgate or Oral-B for some of the best results.

If you regularly suffer with sensi-

Maria Moffatt’s final diet takes her Vegetarian

tive teeth, but want to keep them white, try Sensodyne with whitening, or Colgate’s sensitive whitening toothpaste. If you have some cash to spare, it may also be worth forking out for an electric toothbrush, although it may be less effort to scrub your teeth of an early morning, it will also keep tooth discolouration at bay with regular use. Flossing will also help to limit plaque, as well as using a plaque removing mouthwash, which will in turn leave you

with a brighter smile.

If your willpower will let you, do try and avoid things that will stain your teeth, such as smoking, drinking tea, coffee and cola, and drinking dark coloured fruit juices like grape. If you must, try drinking them through a straw (probably best to avoid the hot coffee), which will reduce your teeth’s exposure to these beverages. If you are a regular smoker, it’s probably best to keep an eye on the state of your teeth, so if

Pearly whites: Get your teeth into a great whitening toothpaste to keep yours dazzling

you do notice any staining, you can act fast to remedy it.

If you fancy trying a different way of cleaning, try Lush’s Black Toothgel – it’s a little scary looking at first, and will set you back £2.50 for a 24g tube. It contains tangerine, lemon and sandalwood oils (for taste), houji tea infusion, fresh aubergine extract, carrageenan (red seaweed) and charcoal. Although this may sound like something out of a hippy’s medicine cabinet, the ingredients are specially designed to give your teeth a good clean. It’s had mixed reviews, but if you’re adventurous in your choice of tooth cleaning apparatus, it might be worth a try. For the more timid of you, they also offer a white toothgel for the same price, which is vanilla flavoured, if not a bit salty.

Sticking to reputable brands such as Pearl Drops and Blanx should hopefully leave you with the best results, but it’s worth shopping around to find something to suit a student budget and that will do the job you want.

Being a vegetarian for a week sounds simple enough and it is often claimed to be a healthier alternative to a normal diet.

It didn’t really change my eating habits too much: I could still have cereal and a cuppa for breakfast, sandwiches and crisps for lunch (providing they were suitable for vegetarians) and could have fish and vegetables for tea. I didn’t bother trying quorn and decided to just cut out the meat altogether. I adapted some meat dishes by adding more vegetables: vegetable stir fry, fajitas (without the meat), chicken in black bean sauce (minus the chicken) and vegetable wraps with vegetable oxo cube was a tasty replacement for my usual chicken wraps with chicken oxo cube flavouring. There are some tasty alternatives out there!

While this is so, I am not one who has ever tried to give up meat and when I did I found I missed not being able to have it. I think it’s that idea that when you know you can’t have something, it’s all you want and crave.

Basically maintaining a healthy, balanced diet without meat would prove to be effective (provided you eat the right foods). As it is only meat that is off limits, to lose weight you need to have a certain amount of self-control with regards to other foods as well: while you still may be allowed foods such as crisps and chocolate, we all realise that cutting out meat and replacing it with crisps and chocolate is not going to be an effective way to lose weight.

I had to check every single item of food to see if it was suitable for vegetarians before I bought it; most items were labelled suitable for vegetarians but some just gave me no indication at all.

It was not difficult to eat out as all restaurants have vegetarian options and if you’re rushing around during the day to grab something for lunch it is easy enough to spot the vegetarian option in places such as Boots.

For this diet to work long-term you need to eat lots of fruit, vegetables and whole grains to ensure you still get all the nutrients you need that you’re missing out on from meat.

Not the worst out of the four diets, but certainly not suited to me and my tastes. But if you love your vegetables and are not too fussed about your meat, try it and see how it works out for you.

Meat-free: Who says veg has to be dull?

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Lifestyle

review

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

Food

food

The Blue Bunny Cafe 11, St Mary’s Place 0191 447 8522 Tucked away in a basement, you are unlikely to have spotted the Blue Bunny Cafe, despite its proximity to the campus. However, a few steps down from the unassuming entrance lies a bustling hive of activity. It’s clear that every effort has been made to create a warm, characterful atmosphere, and this has certainly been achieved. Posters and artworks line the walls and the floor is littered with old wooden tables and benches with scatter cushions. Vintage records are stacked by a battered electric organ which sits next to the door. Escaping the outdoor chill and taking our seats, we immediately felt welcome in this cosy little cafe.

Blue Bunny is open seven days a week, with doors opening at 8am until 7pm during the week and from 10am till late on weekends.

So there’s time to enjoy a hearty cooked breakfast, the impressive

array of sandwiches or to get something more substantial later in the day. What’s more, being only two minutes walk from campus, it’s no great distance to go for a swift spot of lunch.

It’s also worth mentioning that the Blue Bunny doesn’t just serve herbal teas, holding a full alcohol license. Indeed, any establishment which recommends a Bloody Mary or glass of Cava to go with breakfast

rapidly worms its way into my affections. Although it pains me to admit it, I opted for the non-alcoholic, but nonetheless invigorating, Green Tea. It arrived in an ‘I love Philadelphia’ mug. Although it may be slightly twee, charming little quirks like this are what give the Blue Bunny its character.

The menu may be wide ranging, but what’s on offer is actually quite simple and dare I say it, a little unad-

venturous. We chose the Minestrone and the Thai Chicken soups to begin with, both of which were thin, tasteless and rather anaemic. The vegetables used in the Minestrone had lent it an unpleasant sourness, making it too sharp and preventing any other flavours from presenting themselves.

The portion sizes, however, cannot be criticized; if you’re in need of a good feed, then you will be well catered for here. For the main course I ordered a mountainous bowl of Chilli Con Carne, its taste altogether more disappointing. The Chilli was under-seasoned and lacking in fire and the rice was well beyond al dente. Lieke chose the Mezze, made up from such disparate elements as Edam and Jalapeño peppers - ingredients which really have no rightful place on the same plate.

Although the cafe does not offer many desserts, their cupcakes could not be faulted; chocolaty and sweet with just a hint of orange.

Main meals cost a not entirely unreasonable £5-£6. However, since it is quality and not quantity that counts, I am inclined to recommend the sandwiches, which are rumoured to be rather better. Costing around £2.40-£3.10, you could enjoy Blue Bunny’s quirks at considerably less expense.

Pete Warcup

Georgie Davies reviews some of the UK’s tastiest food festivals Most of us have been to (or at least heard of) one of the many music festivals around Britain: Glastonbury, Leeds, or Reading, to name but a few. They form a staple go-to for many a student’s summer holidays.

Festival-goers however, have probably never really given a second thought to the glut of food festivals also out there: they are wide-spread, in a number of locations across the country and cater for whatever food or drink preferences you may have, from chocolate to beer.

I visited Jimmy’s Harvest Festival last September, which really opened my eyes to the delights of a food festival. This one, held in Suffolk on Jimmy Doherty’s very own farm, was dedicated to food and music (what better combination, I hear you cry!). Harvest at Jimmy’s was a weekend-long delicious and melodic extravaganza filled with live music alongside live cooking demonstrations from some of the greats: Newton Faulkner, Scouting for Girls, Jean-Christophe Novelli, Thomasina Miers and Atul Kochhar, and that’s only for starters. The food on offer was of course second to none, with offerings from Jamie Oliver (the most scrummy pasta!), and the Mexican delights from Wahaca being among my favourite.

To top it all off, there is a wonderful barn renovation in the form of a restaurant, as well as an amazing farm shop offering a wide range of delectable foodie delights from free-range, rare-breed sausages to his new range of appetizing condiments, such as Jimmy’s Ketchup: the perfect accompaniment to his rare-breed sausages!

Since my rather over-indulgent visit to Harvest at Jimmy’s, my search for further foodie festivals has been ongoing. A quick ‘food

Compare the market: Easter special Pete Warcup tries some of Easter’s tastiest food offerings.

7/10 Cadbury’s Mini Eggs £1.00

Chocolate is no longer the final refuge of the broken hearted.

Handing out a few of these sugarcoated parcels of goodness will undoubtedly help you gain friends and to forget about your romantic misfortunes.

9/10 Cadbury’s Creme Egg 50p

We know Easter is on its way when these fondant filled delicacies hit shop shelves. A classic; sugary, sickly sweet and terribly messy... How will you eat yours?

8/10 Lindt Gold Bunny (small) £1.60

Well worth a visit: London’s Borough Market, situated in South East London, is just one of the UK’s many delicious food festivals.

festival’ Google is enough to display the sheer wealth of food events being held far and wide.

This year, the month of March has brought us the Chocolate festival in South Bank, London, and the Edible Garden Show in Warwickshire for those green-fingered among us.

This year also brings us the sister festival to Harvest at Jimmy’s, in Gloucestershire held at the farm owned by the Blur band member, Alex James, who has now turned his hand to cheese-making in the Cotswolds.

The month of June brings the food festival to our very own Newcastle in the form of Eat! Newcastle & Gateshead Food & Drink Festival from June 12-27. From June 16 for four days, The BBC Good Food Summer Show, in the NEC Birmingham offers a food and drink extravaganza with contributions from the wonderful James Martin

as well as the ultimate MasterChef Experience with John Torode and Gregg Wallace and some of the recent contestants from the show.

For the guys out there, August brings The Great British Beer Festival, Earls Court, London, being one of the beer festivals making up the many taking place as part of the Campaign for real ale. It will showcase a wide variety of well-known brands as well as promoting lesserknown locally produced brewery treats.

For those who love food with some heat, Cumbria boasts the Chili Fest on August 14 and 15, with everything from chili chocolate to salsa dancing. The Taste of Edinburgh brings us the best from all of the city’s top restaurants, as well as plenty of gourmet goodies to buy and demonstrations from many a celebrity chef, including Rachel Allen. The ‘Taste of…’ food festivals

continue in the same vein across many other venues from London to Dublin, culminating in a rather festive Taste of Christmas in London at the end of the year. What better way to get you through those cold months than some delicious culinary delights and warming recipe ideas?

Another food event that certainly deserves a special mention is London’s Borough Market; a maze of deliciousness located between Borough High Street and the river Thames in South East London. It is open every Thursday, Friday and Saturday and is idyllic for any food and drink lover, providing an enormous variety of great British and international food produce from pappardelle to potatoes.

So wherever you’re located, whatever the season, there is a foodie event out there to tickle everyone’s taste buds.

The Swiss gods of cocoa have done it again with this spectacular display of confectionary. Just a whiff of its chocolaty aroma will be enough to send both sugar fiends and chocoholics mad with delight.

7/10 Maltesers Easter Egg £1.00

You needn’t let kids have all the fun, after all Easter Eggs are for grownups too!

A guilty pleasure if there ever was one, all in all it is an ‘eggcellent’, no, ‘eggquisite’ choice. Oh dear.

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

19

Handbags and gladrags > Page 21

Contour fashion carves its way Harriet Webb explores a fascinating world emerging for sportswear, lingerie and many more Contour fashion is ‘the design and technology for intimate apparel’ focusing on lingerie, swimwear, corsetry and performance sportswear.

The fashion industry is renowned for being very competitive and cut throat. The niche areas of fashion, for example, contour fashion, footwear design and millinery rely on a specific technical knowledge and approach to design.

As a genuine supporter of ‘you get what you pay for’, I believe that there is nothing better than a beautiful, well-fitting bra, particularly if you have boobs of a D cup plus. As a student everyone buys cheap lingerie sets that last for about six weeks, they are never that comfortable and often result in a frequent nip slip because they don’t fit or support your boobs properly.

If you add up all the money you spent on ‘cheap’ lingerie sets I am positive it would be much more than if you had gone and bought two or three gorgeous, good quality, well fitting bras that last for ages and are super comfortable. A statement, I and most girls can definitely relate to.

If you are going to spend your hard earned money (or student loan) on clothes, make up, shoes and accessories, then why not spend money on the garments that actually do a job of supporting your boobs - a good fitting bra can seriously change the way you feel, look and carry your-

F LACHANT

Contour Fashion: the rise of sculptural detailing within design now widely available

self for the better. It also makes an enormous difference to the way your clothes look and sit.

Thus, a question that every girl would like to know is who makes the best bras? Panache brands make fantastic lingerie and swimwear that, appeals to all kinds of women. Panache has five brands, four of which specialize in D-K cup lingerie, with the other, Atlantis, which specialises in bust-enhancing lingerie for AA-E cup ladies. Other great brands are Triumph, Elle Macpherson, Calvin Klein and Victoria Secret.

When looking for your perfect bra obviously the design and the way it looks has to be your cup of tea, otherwise you’ll never want to show it to anyone, but, most importantly, it has to fit well and be comfortable otherwise you’ll never even wear it.

A good fitting bra should fit snugly around the body so you can only pull it away a few inches. The centre front must fit flat against the chest in between your boobs and the wires must encapsulate the whole of the breast tissue which goes pretty much right under your arms.

Lingerie and Swimwear is shown just as normal fashion is - at trade shows and catwalks all over the world (Paris/UK/China/Miami) and the big players and fashion houses show it at all the big fashion weeks. Mercedes Benz Miami Swim is huge for swimwear brands.

All areas of fashion are led by the

same trends but interpreted in different ways. In the design of high street lingerie it has to be commercial and wearable, but initial inspiration could have been exactly the same as that of a Couture dress designer.

Most Contour fashion designers will currently be wrapping up the SS12 collection and will move onto designing AW12 in the next few months, looking to the catwalk for initial inspiration as will many designers working in all areas of fashion. It usually takes up to a year for the catwalk trends to filter through to the high street. Trend prediction websites and publications specific to lingerie for the season they are designing will also come in useful so they can’t go too off the mark.

Contour fashion designer Carley Williamson said, “Reading fashion magazines, looking at amazing photo shoots, catwalks, and even watching Project Runway on TV, I would say is a huge inspiration for any aspiring designer.

“The 1960s has always been a huge inspiration for me, I love the understated sexiness of the era, and the free and exciting vibe that is associated with Sixties culture. Designers such as Ossie Clark, Bill Gibb, Jean Varon and Barbara Hulanicki, are amazing for colour and inspiration.”

Let’s hope that Contour fashion leads the way in the future.

Versatile hairstyles: the ponytail unravelled Victoria Mole recounts the success and the fashionable re-invention of the much-loved hairstyle Fashion has a way of never being bored with the basics in style, it’s always able to re-vamp familiar trends and even, in some cases, takes this as a challenge. If you’re thinking of hair fashions 2011, you’re thinking fringes and colour and maybe forgetting the most loved hair staple in your coiffure style repertoire: the ponytail. Ponytails are a favourite on the catwalk as they literally strip back any distractions from the ensemble, pulling back any tresses transforms a model into a living mannequin by emphasising their silhouette. This style not only works for highlighting the outfit but it draws attention to and creates the appearance of longer limbs - the goal of fashionistas everywhere! The high ponytail is as high fashion as it gets for hairstyles and catwalk shows from the past year are definite evidence of why.

The runway has recently seen a variety of different takes on this particularly malleable trend. The slick and straight ponytail has always had a place on the runway, Max

Azria notably did it just last year for Autumn/Winter, a season that has seen more creativity with ponytails than ever before. It is easy to mistakenly think that there are limited ways in which you can style a ponytail, but you just need enough vision. For Autumn/Winter 2010 the models donned ponytails which incorporated French plaits and loose buns amongst long, back-combed locks. Moreover Jeremy Scott took the top-knot and the ponytail to form a creative style involving a sleek, curling ponytail on top of the models’ heads. A long base for the ponytail was formed by wrapping a thick lock of hair around the root of the ponytail to create a cylinder shape from which the remaining hair would flow out. House of Holland and Lacoste played with side ponytails and Louis Vuitton looked relatively plain in comparison that season by featuring simple, ringletted ponytails on their models.

Spring/Summer 2011 followed on the trend of creative ponytails with the Carlos Miele show’s models

wearing floaty, textured ponytails that collect at the nape of the neck and Nicolas K adapted the side pony with a fish plait for a unique take on this trend.

Not only have models and designers been giving the ponytail a status boost recently, but actresses at the Oscars have also shown their love for the ponytail. Anne Hathaway wore hers high and bouncy, Nicole Kidman went for the standard and simple pony, which showed off her beautiful diamante choker and Reese Witherspoon added girlie flair by letting her pony trail down in curls.

In order to wear your ponytail with a twist, try incorporating plaits or experiment with textures such as backcombing, straightening and ringlets. Different ponytail styles flatter different face shapes: a high ponytail looks striking on a softer jawline and lengthens a round face, whereas a lower-set ponytail softens a sharper jaw. Another way to experiment with wearing this trend is with length; the longer the pony-

tail, the better; so you may like to invest in extensions for a statement style. With this look the ponytail is best worn curled so that the transition between the natural hair and the extension is less noticeable, curls blend the hair textures. Ponytails are the go-to hairstyle when you wish to accentuate your jewellery such as a pair of earrings or a necklace.

Scientists claim that symmetry is the formula to beauty and so with a mid-set ponytail with any strands of fringe pulled back your face will be at its most symmetrical and your facial features are brought out to their fullest as opposed to being covered by hair. If you normally wear your hair loose, it’s time to take your tresses (literally) to new heights and find the perfect ponytail to suit you.

Web Exclusive

Check out www.thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion for more exclusive articles

Ponytails: not only stylish but functional

20

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

Fashion Fashion alternatives

All the extras

Tattoos: a style muse? Eyelashes: your guide

Rosanna Sopp advocates the creative use of body art R SOPP

Artistic Tattoos?: Designers take inspiration from inky creations of tattoo parlours

Tattoos are a bit like marmite - you either love them or you hate them.

I fall into the first category, having five of my own. They are hardly a new invention, having been around (although perhaps for different purposes) for at least 5000 years. They’ve come a long way since sailors got inked at port in the 18th century; nowadays, anyone from ex-cons to the most girly of girls can and do have tattoos. It was only a matter of time, therefore, before fashion started influencing tattoos, and vice versa; when leopard print was at its pinnacle of popularity in 2008/9, there was a surplus of similarly themed tattoos. You would hardly expect these two worlds to ever collide - one is fast paced, changeable and worth billions of pounds a year; the other was, until recently, taboo, and had the stereotype that it was only pursued by scary looking men

with tattoos on their eyelids. Furthermore, the world of fashion and the world of tattoos have influenced each other in ways neither necessarily noticed - when nautical was a huge fashion trend, the amount of anchors, swallows and other nautical themed tattoos sky-rocketed.

However, essentially, tattoos are not a trend, and therefore are not altered by the changing fashion - people tend to get tattoos because it means something to them, not because they saw something similar on the Paris runway.

If told to think of ‘tattoo print’ clothing, you would most likely think of tacky Ed Hardy tshirts.

However, for Louis Vuitton’s Spring/Summer 2011 menswear collection, a collaboration with tattoo artist Scott Campbell (who has tattooed the likes of Marc Jacobs) reinvents the conventional tattoo print

in a modern and highly fashionable way. While it isn’t really possible for tattoos to make clothes look better, they can certainly compliment them, making the wearer stand out from the crowd and from others wearing the same items. However, for fashion shows and shoots, tattoos definitely do not aid the clothes, as they can distract the viewer from the clothes, and make them focus on the person’s body ink instead.

With the mention of tattoos there is always the debate as to whether they are beautiful or unsightly, classy or tacky. If done well, they can look wonderful, and are great ways to remember a time in your life, expressing a love for something or someone, or commemorating a beautiful friendship. They are a way to carry with you permanently a memory, or to remind yourself of an inspirational phrase. Tattoos can also be used as a form of rebellion, whether it be against your parents, your ex partner or the world in general. Also, I have found they are quite a good conversation topic/ ice breaker, with people often always asking me how badly each tattoo hurt, why I got them, when etc.

However, some tattoos are badly done, inappropriate, tacky or offensive and they bring a bad stigma to the art of permanent body ink.

Some tattoos are gotten when drunk or stupid, and you may come to regret having a wonky Mario and Luigi tattooed on your arm 60 years down the line. In the end, whether tattoos are good or bad really does depend on the individual - there are so many millions of different tattoos out there on people’s bodies, there are bound to be some good, some bad and some ugly.

Katie Henry gives you ideal tips for all your false eyelash needs No matter how much we curl or how many layers of volumising mascara we apply, some girls (including myself) are just not blessed in the eyelash department. Thick, curved eyelashes are a sign of femininity and beauty, which is why increasing numbers of girls today are turning to false eyelashes to achieve this desired look.

You may have thought false eyelashes were a recent invention of today’s narcissistic society; however, they were actually invented in 1916

by D.W. Griffith - an American film director who wanted to make the eyes of actresses stand out. They did not, however, become popular until the 1960s, when Twiggy made false eyelashes a key part of the Mod look.

They’re fairly simple to apply – just a splash of glue, press down along the natural eyelash line followed by a layer of mascara to adhere them to your lashes, and voila, long fluttering lashes in a matter of minutes.

Some even come with a self adhesive strip so you don’t have to mess around with gluey fingers.

Most false eyelashes are reusable, depending on how much care you take when removing them. When removing them, gently peel off the false lashes from one end, and scrape off the mascara with your finger tips or tweezers.

From natural looking to ultra glamorous, Eylure provide an extensive range of quality false eyelashes in a variety of lengths and thicknesses for around £5. Girls Aloud also have a range of falsies available in most high street shops, each member having their own personalized style of lashes. It is best to choose false eyelashes that look as natural as possible, and this means ones that

L GIRLING

Fake eyelashes: love or hate them?

aren’t too thick or too dark. Don’t worry if you buy lashes that are too long, as they can always be carefully trimmed down to size with nail scissors.

An alternative to fake eyelashes is eyelash extensions, which add length, thickness and fullness to natural eyelashes. Synthetic eyelashes are applied to individual eyelashes to create a fuller, longer look.

They differ from false eyelashes in that they are applied one extension to one lash. The procedure takes an average of one and a half to two hours for a full set of extensions and may last between two weeks and two months.

False eyelashes are great for a night out as they give the appearance of fuller lashes which can really open up the eyes and make them ‘pop’.

However, to avoid looking like a candidate for Snog Marry Avoid, don’t use more than one pair of falsies at a time. Also, try to refrain from using them during the day - no poor soul wants to unwittingly look up from their lunch to be greeted by two black spiders crawling over your eyes.

Over to him: are man-bags really en vogue?

Often a taboo, men’s expert, Tim Perkin delves into the fascinating world of the man-bag We’ve all seen that Friends episode where Joey gets a man-bag and is mercilessly ribbed by Ross and Chandler for having a purse, but that was way back in the dark ages of 1999,. Now. 12 years on, is it acceptable for the metrosexual men of today to wear the ‘man-bag’?

The term ‘man-bag’ still comes with a humorous stigma attached to it today and so, to avoid this, it has simply gone undercover and reemerged disguised as the satchel or messenger bag, essentially the same item but crucially re-branded for the men of today. Looking round the Newcastle campus guys wearing satchels and across the shoulder bags are everywhere, they seem to have superseded the rucksack as the stylish book-carrier of choice.

While I love my backpack they sometimes can have a tendency to make you look like an overgrown 11-year-old or an overly keen Duke of Edinburgh candidate. The satchel

L GIRLING

Manbags: our men’s expert ventures into the uncartered world of the metrosexual man

on the other hand is now the choice for students and young professionals this due to it being more of a mature bag option and because there is nothing worse than the sight of someone wearing a rucksack with a suit. Most satchels are made in leather or canvas which adds a certain decorum more than the shiny nylon of rucksacks.

There are, however, some important dos and don’ts to pull off that man bag with panache. One of the most important is the rule of time and place. There is a time and a place for men to carry bags, on the way to uni/work - why, yes, absolutely but on a night out, this is a whole-new faux-pas!

Never ever wear bag on a night out, for us boys it is just not needed as we have pockets for phone, wallet and keys a man-bag is unnecessary. Unless you want to be like the Zach Galifinakis’ character from The Hangover and have the mickey roy-

ally taken out of you.

Another important rule is sizing.

My mantra is stick to the side of caution and go for a larger satchel as the smaller the bag, the greater risk of it being mistaken for a purse as “if your bag can only hold a phone and a packet of chewing gum you have yourself a purse there chum!”

The point of man-bags becoming acceptable is that they are big enough to carry our things such as library books and footlong Subway sandwiches that otherwise would be awkward to carry. Whilst they can be a fashion statement, above all they have to be practical and that is the crucial difference between a man-bag and a girl’s purse.

If you fancy getting yourself some man-bag action Adidas, Gola and Fred Perry do some really nice leather retro ranges for satchels or if you are on a budget check out ASOS for some understated canvas messenger bags for in £20.

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

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Handbags Fashion

Handbag Special

Bags of Style: your arm-candy solutions Victoria Mole examines the designer offering, Harriet Webb takes a more bohemian approach, Rosanna Sopp muses over the clutch while Katie Henry appreciates a more lady-like style The Luxury Bag: Victoria Mole

The designer handbag is one of fashion’s most iconic commodities, it’s considered by some an essential component of the 21st century woman’s wardrobe. Unfortunately with the average price estimated by Selfridges at £850, it’s a commodity that most of us can’t afford to covet; however that does not stop fashion-conscious females all over the country from lusting after it. The designer handbag is the very picture of sophistication, it symbolises glamour, wealth and elegance…not to mention fame as over the 20th and 21st century we have witnessed many a style icon parade one of these luxuries.

From origins falling as far back as a mention in 14th century literature, variations of the handbag have been an accessory to the nobility, and the versions that we are familiar with began emerging prominently in the 1950s from the likes of Gucci and Louis Vuitton.

Designer handbags vary from the Fendi Baguette, which can only accommodate the bare necessities (maybe a lipstick…) to the Hermes Berkin weekend bag, inspired by actress Jane Birkin, who in 1984 found herself sitting next to the designer and made a remark about needing such a bag. Princess Grace of Monaco also had a bag named after her

by Hermes, the Kelly bag, which she reportedly used to try and conceal her pregnancy. Part of the fame of a designer bag is in who wears it, one of the most iconic handbags is the Lady by Dior, a favourite of the late Princess Diana. When even Royalty

are fixated with this trend it is understandable that many women just find Chanel’s ‘mademoiselle lock’ and Louis Vuitton’s distinct print so captivating.

There will always be a question of ethics surrounding the designer bag, as often the furs of young animals are used or the skins of reptiles that otherwise would not be killed for any other purpose such as for meat. Furthermore there is the issue of fake designer bags. It is all too tempting to settle for a counterfeit when the prices are so extortionate however this is illegal.

Spotting a fake designer is not difficult; the bags cost as much as they do because they are created so immaculately that the finish will be flawless. All patterns will be aligned and there will be no frayed seams or loose threads; judging the authenticity of a designer bag is all to do with the quality. Be suspicious of sellers offering a large number of a certain bag, genuine designers often manufacture in relatively low numbers to discourage re-sale and keep the bag’s profile as rare.

Designer bags should come with serial numbers and an authenticity card or certificate (although these can be replicated). Gucci and Louis Vuitton never use plastic to wrap the bags in let alone to manufacture the bags out of, so look for real leather. If you are ever fortunate enough to come into possession of one of these precious bags, the real challenge begins as you try to keep it in the pristine condition that you bought it in!

The Hobo Bag: Harriet Webb

The new trendsetting hobo slouch bag is very chic and perfect for the upcoming summer festival season.

The hobo slouch is a typically large over the shoulder bag characterised by a crescent shape and slouchy posture. Hobo bags are generally made of soft, flexible material and tend to slump forward when set down. This is definitely one of its most stylish features.

The hobo comes in many different shapes and sizes. Many now come with braids, studs, tassels and fringes, the very details that define original bohemian style. It makes for an easy casual addition in the day and adds a bit of boho style to your outfit at night.

You can never go wrong with leather and suede in black, dark or tan brown. They are two versatile materials that look good with most outfits. By choosing the classics you’re free to play with other accessories like jewellery without messing up your outfit.

For a more diverse bohemian style, try eye-catching colours like mustard yellow, deep purple, deep olive green (anything that is a bit splashy yet muted) or even patchwork designs but try to keep the rest of your outfit simple.

Lots of celebrities with distinguished bohemiam style have been spotted wearing the contemporary hobo slouch: Sienna Miller, the Olsen sisters, Mischa Barton to name but a few. So covet this bag this summer and you can’t go wrong in the style stakes.

The Clutch Bag: Rosanna Sopp

The clutch bag is every girl’s necessity. Whether it be for a night out, interview, or lunch with the girls, a clutch can be your best friend whatever the occasion.

The number of options out there is enough to make any fashionista’s mouth water- oversized, patent, novelty or printed; there really is no reason not to have one. Additionally, the clutch is the perfect size to contain your essentials when you don’t want to lug a big bag around.

However, us girls have to naturally be selective about what we carry in our clutch and it is important not to overload in case you break your beautiful bag.

You name a celebrity, and it’s guaranteed they have been seen out clutching one of these - Sarah Harding, Nicole Richie, Vanessa Hudgens and Olivia Palermo all own the awesome accessory. ASOS. com sell a beautiful array of clutch bags for the big spender or those on a budget, and if you want small and girly, New Look is the place to go, with floral and ruffled bags aplenty.

On the designer end of the scale, Alexander McQueen have beautifully elaborate, eye catching and edgy clutches, whereas Miu Miu offer a softer and more feminine option. To fit with this season’s trend, pick citrus or block coloured clutches, and match the bag with something else in your outfit- whether it be your shoes, lipstick or necklace. That way it blends seamlessly with your ensemble and you really can use the clutch for any and all occasions.

The Feminine Bag: Katie Henry

With their strong, structured frames and a hard handles, ladylike bags couldn’t be more different to the slouchy bucket bag or oversize tote.

Practical as well as stylish, many of these top handle bags have an optional detachable long strap so if preferred, it can be carried over the shoulder. These classic bags ooze sophistication, and can bring feminine flair to even the dullest of outfits. From powerful career women to bohemian types, the ladylike bag has something for everyone.

When we think of ladylike bags, we automatically think of the prim, structured bags accompanying well turned out ladies such as Jackie Kennedy. The rebirth of ladylike handbags took the fashion world by storm during the Autumn/Winter 2010 catwalks, with designers including Louis Vuitton and Marc Jacobs producing the ultra feminine bags. Fashionistas such as Victoria Beckham and Olivia Palermo made the icon bag of the 1950s and 60s once again bang on trend, with Victoria Beckham rumoured to have a collection of the coveted Hermès Birkin bags worth around £1.5 million.

Ladylike bags are available in a huge variety of colours making them stylish the whole year through, from blacks and chocolate browns in winter to bright, pastel colours in the summer months. Whether leather or crocodile skin, these bags add an air of glamour to any outfit, and going vintage is a great way of keeping things original while wearing this trend.

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THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

Listings

Listings

what’s happening on your campus? monday

tuesday Marrow Full Monty

Stan Calvert

Barkollo, Leazes Lane, 20:00, £1/£2

Hyena Comedy Club, 19:30, £7/£6

All day, FREE

Gig

A fantastic line up that includes Midnight Blue, Latin/Jazz Band, Guitar Duo: Mike Papapavlou and Tom MacMillan, DJ Hedd and Indian Music An upbeat evening of music from as many corners of the world as it was possible to fit! A great place to get into some new music from some of the best up and coming acts in the region. One of the most beautiful and chilled out venues in the city, serving drinks and hot food as long as the music lasts - why not have dinner while you watch the show? A fantastic evening offering something a bit different, don’t miss out!

SKIP Present

Cambodia night

The Hyena Comedy Club, 19:00, £5 Join SKIP for an evening of music, food, games and drink deals. SKIP are a student led charity based in 11 medical schools across the country, which aims to improve the education and welfare of impoverished children across the world. At Newcastle we travel to Cambodia every summer to teach school children basic English and healthcare. Email skipnewcastle@gmail.com for more information.

First Assault Gig

Riverside, All day event For your fix of Alternative/Pop Punk/ Rock music head down to Riverside to catch one of Northumbria University’s best bands. First Assault will be playing as part of the all day Northumbria University Art Festival. The gig is for charity.

Check out http://www.myspace.com/ thefirstassault for more information or to hear some of the music you can expect to see on the day.

The Marrow Full Monty is our biggest fundraising event of the year, where your friends/ flat mates/committee leaders perform full monty routines for your entertainment. This year we’ve got more teams, more routines and bigger laughs! There will also be a raffle with some fantastic prizes. So come and join us for a very entertaining night and help raise some money for Anthony Nolan, whose stem cell register helps saves lives from leukaemia and other blood borne cancer.

Public Lecture

Childhood cancer

Curtis Auditorium, Herschel Building, 17:30- 18:30, FREE Despite immense progress in the treatment of childhood cancer, with eight out of ten children nowadays being cured, there is no room for complacency: childhood cancer remains one of the leading causes of death in children and its treatment comes with significant side effects and severe risks for long-term health.

Newcastle University has one of the leading childhood cancer research teams in Europe and the lecture will use examples from the team to illustrate how research impacts and improves clinical practice.

Bad Poetry Poetry Slam

Bridge Hotel, 20:00, FREE Bad Poetry is back! The humorous sideways look at the world of poetry returns to Newcastle so expect a night of funny little poems, bewildering neo-modern performance pieces, rubbish haikus and improvised poetry. Oh, and FUN. This particular event is a “Poetry Slam”, and the (hopefully) exceedingly egregious poetry will be judged by the three “judges”, who will decide the best-worst poet of the night and accordingly award a PRIZE. Anyone caught performing REAL poetry will be forcibly ejected from the venue (unless it is read ironically). Search ‘Oh Noetry, MORE Bad Poetry Slam (Requiem)’ on Facebook for more information.

14:00, FREE

Public Lecture The new ruins

Location: Space 4/5 Culture Lab, 15:00-17:00, FREE Urbanism in the Blair/Brown era, as with politics on the whole, entailed attempts at achieving social democratic goals using quasiThatcherite means. Public building increased, but tied to PFI and PPP; much housing was built, but in a radically circumscribed and architecturally dubious manner. The curious neoliberal dirigisme of New Labour, its fetish for the grand scheme, meant that the crash left several pet projects - Pathfinder housing ‘renewal’, inner city retail schemes - unfinished or cancelled, leaving huge swathes of dereliction across British cities.

In a context where even these measures are considered overly profligate, ‘statist’ and leftwing by the coalition government, is there anything to be salvaged from New Labour urbanism?

Our top events happening in Newcastle this week 3. Craft Show 2. Theatre 1. Film Love, Love, Love

Working with existing films in the archive, Filmbee have created, adapted and combined bits and pieces into new works.

In the process of viewing, they have compiled various film programmes which show some of the hidden highlights of the archive. For another researcher they might pass by as useless, but for these fans of the peculiar, the modest and the poignant mean something entirely different.

It’s 1967 and Kenneth and Sandra know the world is changing. And they want some of it.

Love, Love, Love takes on the baby boomer generation as it retires, and finds it full of trouble. Smoking, drinking, affectionate and paranoid, one couple’s forty-year journey from initial burst to full bloom.

Visit www.live.org.uk for more information.

Star and Shadow Cinema, March 31, 18:30

Live Theatre, March 29-30, £10/£8

Pins and Needles Needlework & Craft Show Metro Radio Arena, March 31April 3, £8/£7

The inspiring Pins and Needles will return to the Metro Radio Arena on Thursday March 31 until Saturday April 2 2011; Featuring Cross Stitch, Embroidery, Knitting, Threads, Beads, Buttons, Ribbons, Rag Rug Making, Patchwork and Quilting, Blackwork, Paper Crafts, Card Making, Scrap booking, Glitter, Peel Offs, Local Hand Made Gifts, Fabulous Food and much more!

Hyem, Chillingham Road , 19:30, £3

King’s Hall, Armstrong Building, 19:300-22:30, £5/£3

Hatton Gallery, April 1-30,

Mixer, Jesmond, 19:30, £3

Castle Keep

Come and learn more about the castle that gave the city its name, with great views of the Quayside area.

For more information and to sign up, email giag.union@ncl.ac.uk or visit www. facebook.com/giag.newcastle.

Land[e]scape

Definitely Comedy

Give it a Go!

Your North East: A hidden gem of architecture under the winding motorways that surround Newcastle city centre. This remanent of Newcastle’s history was taken by Ros Howes. To enter your pictures into Your North East, send your photo to courier.listings@ncl.ac.uk

Guava Beats present: The Global Soundsystem Head of Steam, Tuesday March 29, doors 21:00, £4/£3 Bust your grooves to the biggest Global tunes. DJs Tushungpebg kick start the night with tropical rhythms, crossing boundaries of TROPICAL BASS://ELECTRO-SWING://BALKAN FUNK:// AFRO-BEAT://REMIXED TANGO:// REGGAE DUB://BHANGRA. LADIES OF MIDNIGHT BLUE will then perform an unforgettable live set with freestyle percussion, followed by Tim Shaw, resident DJ of World Headquarters. There will be live dance acts, free face-painting all night and profits from the event will go to straight to Amnesty International.

International Festival of Arts and Music Northern Stage, Monday 28 March, 19:00, £6

The International Festival of Arts and Music is just around the corner, Monday March 28 in Northern Stage, starting at 7.00pm. This event is part of the University’s Diversity Season and showcases some of the fantastic talent that our societies have. Most students at university get involved in some sort of extra-curricular activity and IFAM is a showcase of our brilliant, sometimes award winning performance societies.

With over 10 societies showcasing themselves during this event, it is a great opportunity for you to come enjoy the spectacular show they put on.

Performances from our award win-

ning Dance Society, well established Theatre Society, Musical Medics, Indonesian Society, Swing Dancing and hosted by the Newcastle University Comedy Society will entertain you throughout the evening. During the interval there will be some live music from one of our up and coming solo artists at the University Ed Burgeon, along with an exhibition in the interval from our Photography Society.

Tickets are on sale for £6 from Northern Stage box office or online at http://www.northernstage.co.uk/ whats-on/international-festival-ofarts-and-music

this month

NUCME

To celebrate our fortnight of being NSR 87.7FM we are having a gig at Hyem on Chillingham Road in Heaton on March 31. Doors are at 7pm and entrance will be no more than the cost of a pint with all funds going towards NSR. We have a typically strong line up of local and student bands. Excitingly we are the first promoters to put on the new line up of The Acrobatic Society, with their distinctive blend of melodramatic folk and roots. Joining them will be therunningchelsea, for haunting alternative lo-fi sounds, and Agerskow, NSR’s favourite folk-pop five piece.

The Stan Calvert Memorial Cup is THE sporting event of the year at Newcastle University. See Newcastle University battle it out against Northumbria to discover who will win the cup. Can we retain the title for a fourth year running?

Not only is this a fantastic sporting event, it’s also one of the biggest social nights of the year. For ticket information email your AU Officer at au.union@ncl. ac.uk. See the Stan Calvert pullout for more information.

friday

NSR FM Celebration Gig

Memorial Cup

Your City:

Auteurs and amateurs (Various)

thursday

wednesday monday

World Rhythms

Charity fundraiser

Listings Editor : Ciara Littler - courier.listings@ncl.ac.uk

Newcastle Comedy Society is back (again) bringing you one last show before the term draws to a close! Witness the well-oiled Comedy Machine that is our Society as we bring you an outlandishly hilarious affair consisting of our finest hand-picked stand-ups, our painstakingly unprepared improv and our carefully pruned sketches. Join us for an evening of entertainment before Easter sets in!

Spring Concert

The newly formed Newcastle University Contemporary Music Ensemble is celebrating the variety of new music today with a showcase evening of exciting contemporary works. The concert includes performances from The Newcastle Saxophone Octet, Guitar Quartet and Piano Quartet. A photography exhibition will also be accompanying the evening’s concert.

Do you want your event advertised in The Courier?

To get details of your event published in these pages, all you have to do is email the date, time and location of your event to: courier. listings@ncl.ac.uk.

Exhibition

In a world preoccupied with issues of sustainability and climate change, new relationships are emerging between humans and the natural world. By examining the traditional vision of nature as an idyllic retreat offering solitude, spiritual refreshment and liberation of the mind, Land[e]scape explores the fragile relationship between mankind and nature and its relevance today.

Selected works are drawn from the Hatton Gallery’s own collection, with eminent artists such as Wassily Kandinsky, Ian Hamilton Finlay and Alan Davie represented. In addition, Land[e]scape features works by contemporary artists practising in the region including Stéphanie Beaulieu, Ben Muir and Rachel Maloney.

Directed by emerging curators currently studying Art Museum and Gallery Studies MA at Newcastle University, Land[e]scape is a next-generation reaction to an enduring relationship between man and nature. Curatorlead tours and interactive workshops for all ages, will offer a truly exhilarating experience.

Please see our Twitter, Facebook and Blog pages for further details.

Stan Calvert 2011

C O U RI R I ER

Stan Calvert Cup 2010 THE

Tuesday 2 March 2010

C OURIER THE

2

Stan Calvert Memorial Cup 2011

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

Athletics

Badminton

Men’s Basketball

Amy Richards

Steph Ferrao

Martin Laban

Introduction Wills Robinson Sports Editor After a record-breaking victory last year, Newcastle could make it an unprecedented fourth straight victory, as one of the biggest varsity events in the country takes place on Wednesday.

Northumbria and Newcastle will clash for the seventeenth time in the annual Stan Calvert Cup. As last year’s champions and as favourites to retain the cup, Newcastle will be looking for their eleventh overall victory, whilst Northumbria looks to improve on their measly five successes in the tournaments history.

Eighteen venues across the region will host 20 different sports, as over a 1,100 athletes from both universities go head to head throughout the day. In addition, for the first time in Stan Calvert history, Clay Pigeon Shooting, Gaelic Football and Gymnastics will be playing for points. Even though most eyes will be on the outcome of the Rugby Union, every single game counts, and all of the universities’ athletes will be doing anything they can to make sure the trophy is in their university.

Last year saw a crushing performance and a 83.75 to 32.25 scoreline in Newcastle’s favour produced a record-breaking 51.5 point victory margin, as the tournament was held on a Sunday for the first time.

Tensions will be running high throughout the day, as results come in from all over the region and as each team finds out what they need to do in order to come out as the victors. Each game is worth two points, and with the trophy being shared on two occasions, there is any chance that the fate of the whole tournament could be down to the final kick of the ball in the showpiece Rugby Union match at Gateshead Stadium on Wednesday night. Over 3,000 fans will descend on the stadium as the day comes to a close, and the trials and tribulations come to an end.

The tournament was set up after the sudden death of the tournament’s namesake Stan Calvert in 1994. He was the first Director of Sport at Newcastle and was also the Chairman of the Northern Sports Council.

Having won three successive titles, Newcastle will go into the tournament as favourites, but with the tournament returning to its new Wednesday slot, the task will be harder as more of Northumbria’s stars will be available. The wait has been a little longer, as the day fell victim to the snow just before Christmas, so the anticipation for both sides to get their teeth into each other is bigger than ever.

All events 1pm - 7pm at Gateshead Stadium In only its second year in Stan Calvert, excitement is bound to be at an all time high for this event.

Staged throughout Wednesday at Gateshead Stadium the field events (high jump, long jump, shot putt and triple jump) take place at the indoor track starting from 1pm. There is a spectator platform for fans and therefore no reason to miss out.

The men’s high jump should be an easy win with two athletes currently jumping 1.90m, a huge achievement which will hopefully mean some quick

points on the board. In the women’s triple jump, Emma Pringle is hoping to hit 12.50m for the first time.

The track events start at 3:30pm indoors with the 60m sprints. The remainder of the track events (1500m, 400m, 4x400m and 4x100m) are then run in-between the rugby fixtures with the first being the 1500m at 4:30pm.

Our 1500m men’s should be strong with Andy Richardson running – he came third at the indoor BUCS in 800m this year. Dave Dempsey is also one to watch as he runs a sub 50sec 400m. The relays should be close races and are always an excuse to go wild for Team Newcastle!

Previous Encounters:

2009/10 - L 4.25 - 5.75

Men’s 1sts at 2pm, Men’s 2nds at 10am and Women’s 12pm, all at Gateshead Stadium Stan Calvert is a final opportunity for the ailing ladies’ side to prove their mettle.

The team is reeling from being relegated from the Premier division by Manchester, after playing through a tough season at the top.

Traditionally, Northumbria has never normally presented much of a challenge to the Newcastle side, who have given away only one draw in the past five years. The Poly side sits two divisions below Newcastle in the BUCS league.

The Men’s Firsts are riding high, having secured a promotion place for next season in the Premier division of the BUCS League.

Currently placed a division above Northumbria, they are hoping to build on this season’s success and bounce back from last year’s 5-3 defeat in Stan Calvert. With star Northumbria player Richard Eaton injured, the Men’s Firsts can look to dominate in the singles and draw in some early points.

The Men’s Seconds have had a tough year, with a possible relegation on the cards. Having been soundly beaten 6-2

by Northumbria last year, the team will need to pull out all the stops, particularly in the singles, to avoid the same fate. Both teams will be looking to improve on last year’s fortunes and return to the form of the past couple of years, putting Northumbria back in their rightful place.

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 M’s 1sts - W 5 - 3 Men’s 2nds - W 7 - 1 Women’s - W 8 - 0 2008/09 M’s 1sts - W 6 - 2 Men’s 2nds - W 7-1 Women’s - D 4 - 4 2009/10 M’s 1sts - W 5 - 3 Men’s 2nds - L 2 - 6 Women’s - W 6 - 2

1sts at 6.30pm at Gateshead Stadium, 2nds at 3pm and 3rds at 1pm both at Newcastle Sporte Centre Men’s Basketball have three close encounters to look forward to in this year’s event.

Two years having passed since the two first teams have had a chance to collide has no doubt fuelled the fire for this year’s clash. Narrowly missing out on promotion and joining Northumbria in the Northern Premier League, the Knights have proved they are more than capable of playing at that level by beating highly ranked Birmingham in their last game.

Disappointingly, the Poly were victorious over the second squad by just one basket last year. This time around many of the returning team have their eyes firmly focused on exacting revenge.

The third team are also facing a newly formed Northumbria side.

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 1sts - L 50 - 68 2nds - L 56 - 58 2008/09 1sts - W N’bria 2nds - L 46 - 63 2009/10 1sts - VOID

Women’s Basketball

Jess Ambler

1sts at 4.30pm at Gateshead Stadium and 2nds at 12pm at UNN Sport Central With Northumbria two divisions above the Firsts, it would be easy to predict a Poly win. However, as proven throughout their season the Knights will be pulling out all the stops to show themselves as worthy competitors. The aggression with which the team play has injected fear into opponents; Egle Dulecktye may be small in stature but her strong penetrative abilities leave her breaking the hearts and knees of all that

dare to cross her. Captain Claire Vaughan should not be underestimated, as her speed and agility creates problems for any opposition.

Defensively, Jacqui Fisher will be looking to inflict blows that often prove both brutal and crowd-pleasing.

Overall, there are no weak links on the Knights bench, and they will approach Stan Calvert with the same united front they have maintained throughout their season.

The Second team go into their game with full confidence after previously beating the Poly twice this year.

Playing at home is the only advantage Northumbria will have as they pale to insignificance against a Newcastle team built on height, speed and individual ability. Last year’s encounter proved anything is possible, therefore a prediction of a win and Poly tears is achievable.

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 - L 22 - 122 2008/09 - W Northumbria 2009/10 1sts - VOID 2nds - W 70 - 63

Cricket

Wills Robinson

Men’s 1sts at 12pm, 2nds at 10.30 am and 3rds at 9am, all at South North Cricket Centre NUCC have had a lot of success in indoor cricket, reaching the national finals in 2009. However, the Stan Calvert clash is always the most anticipated set of fixtures of the season. Last year the club won two of the three game and they are expected to go one better this year, winning all three games, as they prepare to take on the Poly at the Newcastle Cricket Centre.

The Men’s First VI will go into the game on the back of

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

3

A.WILSON

Men’s Football

Matt Gouland

1sts at 5pm, 2nds at 3pm and 3rds at 1pm, all at Gateshead Stadium 3G Cometh the hour, cometh the team - this is surely Newcastle’s chance to set the record straight on the football field.

Although Northumbria may have always dominated

Women’s Football

Grace Harvey

1sts at 7.15pm and 2nds at 5pm, both at UNN Coach Lane

a disappointing exit at the semi-final stage of the BUCS indoor competition. The likes of Richard Stanyon, Ali Barrowman and captain Tom Ullyot will also be looking to avenge their defeat at the hands of the Poly First VI in last year’s tournament, after a poor fielding display meant that there wasn’t the expected whitewash for NUCC last year.

The Second and Third VI’s will be looking to repeat last year’s crushing victories in their only indoor matches of the year, and with the strength and depth of the squad being better than ever, they are expected to do just that this Wednesday

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 - L 83 - 84 2008/09 M’s 1sts - W NCL Men’s 2nds - W NCL Women’s - W N’bria 2009/10 - M’s 1sts - L 85 - 86 Men’s 2nds W 80 - 78 Men’s 3rds W 143 - 114 Women’s - NCL W/O

Clay Pigeon Shooting

Luke Hutchinson

2pm at Steve Smiths Shooting Centre Newcastle University Clay Pigeon Shooters are dusting off the barrels to take on Northumbria’s answer to a clay pigeon club for the first time in Stan Calvert history.

Competition is set to be stiff, with both teams having shooters ranked highly in previous BUCS competitions.

The format for the event will be a 50 bird individual sporting shoot followed by a 100 bird team flush.

No Previous Encounters

Fencing

Laura Mason and James Kinnear

Men’s and Women’s 12.30 5pm both at UNN Sport Central In a team fencing competition, the two teams compete to be the best at all three weapons, epee, sabre and foil. Each weapon shall have 3 fencers, using a relay formula, so all the fencers for that weapon will face each other. The maximum points in each weapon are 145 unless time runs out.

Leading up to Stan Calvert the Newcastle Women are quietly confident for a victory. From past experience

Newcastle Women’s Football Firsts have been completely unstoppable this season and have dominated most of their matches, yet their history with Stan Calvert and Northumbria has been somewhat sketchy. However, this year’s team are determined to put Northumbria are no push over but the women have the advantage having already beaten Northumbria this year in the league 129-113, and last year in Stan Calvert Northumbria lost to the same team that are fencing again this year; Captain Holli Prescott, Jennie Tillott, Laura Mason and Lisa Schiller.

This is why the girls believe this will make Northumbria come out wanting a win more than ever, especially as it is a home game for them which may work to their advantage. But the girls feel they are ready for when the fight comes, as at all the matches this year and recent practices, all the girls have shown plenty of skill and aggression, which they hope will show next Wednesday against the Poly.

Newcastle are still looking forward to a competitive match, and lots of team support, which is much more prominent at Stan Calvert.

The girls hope to retain their success and do their bit for the University this year.

Coming off the back of a mixed season the Men’s

in recent years, there is a new found optimism generated for the biggest sporting event of the year.

It has been a disappointing past two years, in which Men’s football has failed to take points off any Northumbrian outfit in the competition. However, times have changed this year with the Firsts and Seconds beating Poly teams in BUCS, and also, with the First team gaining promotion to 1A, they have a spring in their step and a belief that a win is in sight.

With the favoured 3G venue at Gateshead Stadium for all three teams, the stage is perfectly set. The club will be looking to the likes of 3G God James Swainston, towering Frenchman Will Marks and ‘mercurial’ Dan Clements to maintain goal scoring form to help the club to victory. Hopefully the

return of prolific forward Ed Savitt will cause problems for the Poly defence.

Club Captain Ben Burt said: “I don’t want to jinx it.

I really believe we can cause a major upset on the day and end of our season with a bit of a Poly bashing. Northumbria have pumped a lot of cash into sport at the University so it will be tough, but I’m quietly confident.”

this in the past. The Royals conquered the Poly in 2009, yet last they year suffered a drastic loss so there is a lot to prove on Wednesday.

Few teams are able to play together as well as the Women’s Firsts. The team are without doubt one of the strongest group of sportswomen in the University.

Their matches haven’t been easy but the unrelenting Royals refuse to concede any points.

Looking back on Newcastle’s year it has been a genuinely successful year, yet their toughest matches have been against Northumbria. Their first match in November resulted in a stalemate and a loss last week, yet it’s more than obvious which the stronger team is. There is no contention in Newcastle’s ability to annihilate Northumbria but the team’s biggest challenge will be working around the Poly. Following a string of

disappointing results against Northumbria, the Stan Calvert show-down will be an opportunity to turn this around. There is no question this year will once again demonstrate their ability and determination to triumph over the Poly.

With top scorers Lauren Wray, Stephanie Pepper and Lizzie Campbell leading an aggressive attack and powerful midfield and defence support directed by Stephanie Dalby and Lizzie Tulip, team captain Helen Palfrey is sure to be leading them to Stan Calvert Cup success.

Fencing Firsts will be looking for a victory against the historically strong Northumbria team in this year’s Stan Calvert. With a key member of the squad deployed with the Royal Navy (in Scarborough...) it will be a time for the team to come together and to push hard for a victory against a side that boasts international talent . Key Squad Members are: Pat Navein, James Kinnear, Paul McGenity, Rob Walker and Chris McAleer, who will each be looking to bring a bit of their own brand of magic to the party. Newcastle Blades Mens and Women’s

Firsts Fencing is at Sports Central from 12:30 onwards.

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 Men’s - L 63 - 135 W’men’s - VOID 2008/09 Men’s- L 118- 129 W’men’s - W 135 - 71 2009/10 Men’sL 118 - 123 W’men’s - W135 -118

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 1sts - VOID 2nds - W 3 - 2 3rds - D 1 - 1 2008/09 1sts - VOID 2nds - L 1 - 4 3rds - L 0 - 1 2009/10 1sts - L 0 - 2 2nds - L 3 - 5 3rds - L 0 - 1

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 1sts - VOID 2nds - D 0 - 0 2008/09 1sts - VOID 2nds - W 2 - 0 2009/10 1sts - L 1 - 10 2nds - L 3 -5

4

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER SPORT

Golf

Bullocksteads

Kenton Bankfoot

Metro to Kenton Bankfoot Rugby Union M IV

Regent Centre

GOSFORTH

South North CC

Mike Wilkinson

1sts Matfen Hall GC at 11am 2nds N’umberland GC at 11am Last year’s rain affecting Stan Calvert disappointingly saw no golf played. The Firsts were granted a walkover from the Poly when their team decided not to show up, (some may say this was due to rain but the story varies between the two teams) meanwhile the Seconds match was cancelled due to a waterlogged course.

This year has been a much closer affair between the two teams, although the Firsts have had a disappointing, winless season. Promoted to Premier League last year, they have come up against stiff opposition in the form of St. Andrews who, not surprisingly, are renowned for their golf teams.

A match to watch in this fixture will be Captain of the Firsts Fraser Allen, facing off against Lee Fuller (previously Newcastle Firsts golf team, he betrayed his roots and now plays for Northumbria).

In their previous encounter, Fuller was thoroughly beaten in the league match - this promises to be a fierce contest with Newcastle at home at Matfen Hall.

The Seconds have been unfortunate this year to be edged out in a tense thriller with the Poly in the league 2.5-3.5 at home on a soaked course, so will be looking for revenge when they take them on at Gosforth Park on Stan Calvert day. Boasting a strong 2nds squad featuring Breen, unbeaten this season and Wilkinson, unbeaten against the Poly, the Seconds are hunting for victory. Golf fixtures with Northumbria are usually littered with interesting rules, interpretations, and “helpful” directions around an unfamiliar course from the Poly. In a game where an inch is the difference between victory and defeat, one envisages that the two games may become fractious very quickly.

Match play golf can go any way on the day, but the team is confident that they will emerge victorious.

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 - D 3-3 2008/09 1sts - L 0.5 - 5.5 2nds - W 6 - 0 2009/10 - 1sts NCL W/O 2nds VOID

Metro to South Gosforth Cricket M I, II, III Cricket W

I R

Northumberland Golf Club Metro to Regent Centre Golf II

Je

David Lloyd Metro to South Gosforth Tennis M I Tennis M II

Town Moor

NU Sports Centre

Metro to Haymarket Basketball M II Basketball M III Squash M I Squash M II Squash M III

UNN City Campus

Metro to Haymarket Fencing M I Fencing W Squash WI Squash WII Swimming Table Tennis Volleyball

Gymnastics

Sophie Dawes

Benfield Gymnastics Centre from 1pm - 4pm Gymnastics is being included in the Stan Calvert programme for the first time this year.

As a relatively small club

Central Station

we are thrilled to be entering both a Women’s and Men’s team, especially as we hear the Northumbria boys are dropping like flies!

Girls will compete on two pieces of apparatus and the boys three; in order to succeed in gymnastics, they must demonstrate flexibility, strength and power, all whilst wearing sparkly lycra.

With some promising new intakes this year and the experience and drive of older members, who have anticipated taking part in this event, you can be sure of some quality entertainment Spectators are welcome at Newcastle Gymnastics Academy, Benfield School 1-4pm on Wednesday.

No Previous Encounters

Men’s Hockey

Charley Wright

1sts 1.30pm, 2nds 12pm and 3rds 3pm, all at Longbenton The Stan Calvert Cup is one close to every hockey player’s heart. With each side’s home grounds separated by about 500 yards of grass and

tarmac, the two rivals are constantly aware of each others’ presence which comes to a head on Stan Calvert Day. Hockey has been seen by many as a ‘clean sweep sport’ for Newcastle over the last few years, and they would be right. In the 200910 competition both Men’s and Women’s clubs produced a stonking whitewash over the Poly, both First XIs scoring six against their opposition.

In the 2008-09 fixtures, both Newcastle clubs once again came out on top, bagging another 12 points towards the Stan Calvert overall total, arguably taking the overall Cup for the University in a year when the winning margin was only 10 points.

However, all this sweeping and washing of the Poly was not always commonplace. In both the 2006-07 and 2007-08

competitions the Men’s First XI drew with the enemy in feisty encounters.

The 07-08 Men’s First XI match was especially fiery, with then Club President Mike Shkurka squaring up to a fully protected Northumbria goalkeeper after a clash of sticks in the danger area in a 4-4 draw.

But these close encounters are things of the past. The men’s clubs First XIs next year will be separated by one whole BUCS conference after promotion for both was sealed two weeks ago.

Moreover, the Second and Third XIs are also far above their Poly counterparts in BUCS leagues. On top of that, we only need to look at recent form to work out who will be the victors come Wednesday.

So if you fancy coming down to watch some bril-

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

5

Longbenton Sports Ground

Metro to Four Lanes Hockey Men’s

Four Lane Ends

Coach Lane

Bus from Northumbria City Campus or Metro to Four Lanes End

South Gosforth

HIGH HEATON

Ilford Road

Redhall

Bus numbers 306/308 from St Mary’s Place to Benfield Road Lacrosse Men’s

HEATON

West esmond

Benfield

Metro to Walkergate Station Gymnastics

JESMOND

Cochrane Park Jesmond

Chilingham Road

Haymarket

Monument

BYKER

Gateshead stadium

liant hockey, joining in with some quality sideline banter and seeing the Poly being humiliated for a third year in a row, then get down to Longbenton at 12pm for the Men’s Firsts who, hot off winning the BUCS cup final last Wednesday, promise an entertaining 70 minutes.

Ladies’ Hockey

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 - 1sts D 4 - 4 2nds W 4 - 1 3rds W 6 - 1 2008/09 - 1sts - W 4 - 3 2nds - W 6 - 1 3rds - W 4 - 1 2009/10 - 1sts W 6 - 3 2nds W 5-2 3rds W 2-0

Women’s Lacrosse

Men’s Lacrosse

Kat Bannon

1sts 3.30pm, 2nds 1.30pm and 3rds 12pm, all at Coach Lane Poly-bashing is always high on the to do list for the Ladies’ Hockey Club, and this year will hopefully prove no different. A straight run of wins from all three squads

in the last clash on home turf sets a confident tone for Wednesday’s hugely anticipated encounter.

Having already faced each other three times this season in nail-bitingly close wins, statistics, and current poor form might work against the First VI to give the Poly the edge. But as the last game of the season and the final match of their University hockey career for a number of key players, they are determined to make it one to remember for all the right reasons.

The Seconds are looking to improve on the comfortable 4-1 2010 victory in this year’s clash. Flame-haired Captain Holly Radcliffe will lead her squad in what is to be her Stan Calvert debut, having been suffering from tonsillitis in her first year.

Meanwhile it will be

Bus numbers 306/308 from St Mary’s Place to Benfield Road Lacrosse W Rugby Union M II Rugby Union M III Rugby W I

Gateshead Stadium

Metro to Gateshead Stadium Athletics Badminton Basketball MI Basketball WI Netball Rugby League Rugby Union smooth sailing for the Thirds, as they are to meet stick-tostick with the Poly squad that has suffered defeats through the season by Newcastle’s Fourth VI. The Ladies’ turn to trade Longbenton for Northumbria’s Coach Lane - make sure to show your red, white and blue and get down from 1pm to support the Royals.

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 - 1sts D 4 - 4 2nds W 4 - 1 3rds W 6 - 1 2008/09 - 1sts - W 4 - 3 2nds - W 6 - 1 3rds - W 4 - 1 2009/10 - 1sts W 6 - 3 2nds W 5-2 3rds W 2-0

Duncan Oliphant

Emily Cullen

As the greatly awaited highlight of their season approaches, Men’s Lacrosse goes into Stan Calvert in high spirits. The fierce rivalry between Uni and Poly is heightened on the lacrosse stage with several players being team mates for the Newcastle Knights, but all friendships are left on the touch line.

Off the back of a strong end to their season, winning four of their six fixtures, Newcastle are looking for a convincing win. ‘Uni’ finished their BUCS season on Wednesday on a high, beating Hull Firsts 5-2, leaving them fourth in the BUCS League 2 and with the mental edge over Northumbria who finished bottom of their league.

The fixture will be no walk over though, with Northumbria’s defence harbouring a French international player, a ‘friend’ from Knights who will no doubt cause problems for our attack, who’ve consistently penetrated all season. The team will be looking to key attackers Ben Beattie, ‘Chunky’ Elliot and Olly ‘Whaley’ Whaleton to continue their season’s scoring and put Newcastle in front by a good margin.

Our three D-poles at the back are pumped up and looking for blood. Having been the rock at the back of our team since September, our experienced defence will have to step up to take on two more Knights players; one a Yank, renowned for their inspired lacrosse.

Deprived of the chance to play in last year’s clash of the Uni’s, Men’s lacrosse is looking for a big victory. With good all round strength in the team, and playing smart lacrosse

The Women’s Lacrosse Firsts have not had the easiest of seasons; facing relegation and being knocked out of the trophy in the semi-finals, the girls are eager for a big win to end the season well and get ready for a much more positive season next year. Stan Calvert last year was unfortunately cancelled, but the side are looking to better previous records and win with an even bigger goal margin. With a strong Newcastle team stepping out onto the field, we also hope to give our beginners their first taste of a real game.

I can assure anyone coming to watch it will be a great game, as the girls are confident for a win and are determined to thrash the Poly.

Look out for future co-captain Antonia Pollock playing in the centre, feeding to top goal scorer Annie Colvin in her last match for Newcastle. The Royals will also be putting into practice some moves and plays that the side have been working on in an attempt to fool the Poly.

The team is ready to prove that they did not deserve to have been relegated and will be back with a vengeance next year.

Cochrane Park at 2pm

Redhall at 2pm

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 - W 28 - 1 2008/09 - W 32 - 0 2009/10 - VOID

against Northumbria’s main threats, the boys look to bring back the points.

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 - W 17- 3 2008/09 - L 2 - 10 2009/10 - VOID

Previous

Encounters:

2007/08 - W 17 -3

2008/09 - L 2 -10

2009/10 - VOID

6

Mountain Biking

Jonathan Caley

Hamsterly Forest at 1.30pm Mountain biking between the Posh and Poly is contested in two extremely different disciplines, Cross Country and Downhill.

Cross Country involves pedalling a lightweight mountain bike up and down hills over a course consisting of several laps. Newcastle have not lost to the Poly in this in the last three years.

This year’s race will be taking part on the day of Stan Calvert, with a 6 vs 6 rider race at the technically challenging Hamsterly Forest, after the Downhill event.

Hot favourite for the win is James Robinson for Newcas-

Netball

Harriet Needham

1sts at 5.30pm, 2nds at 4pm, 3rds at 2.30pm and 4ths at 1pm all at Gateshead Stadium Last year’s Stan Calvert clash was an emotional success story for the Netball squad.

The club excelled at Gateshead, coming away unbeaten. The Firsts’ match became the showpiece event due to the cancellation of the rugby, and they did not disappoint.

It was the first time in the club’s history that the Firsts beat the Poly, showing their superiority when winning by 20 goals. This year has been less successful and the girls are hoping to capitalise again after narrowly missing out by one goal in the final clash in the BUCS championship.

Rachel Saville and Harriet Needham are both representing their team for the third year running and are looking to outperform the Poly once more.

The Seconds had the most nail-biting game last year, coming up trumps by two goals. The team have worked well together this year, so choosing the starting seven is

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

tle, coming off the back of a good placing at BUCS. Aiken Harrap was also set to do some damage to the Poly, but is questionable for the race, recovering from an arm break. Last year’s winner Kris Smith could also have it.

Downhill involves racing flat out against the clock on a purpose built downhill bike.

Newcastle has held its own against the Poly in the last two years, with wins from Will Askew and, last year, Jon Caley.

The Poly currently have two very strong racers in their team of six, so Newcastle will have their work cut out in order to bring the points in. Matthew Walsh, Tristain Tinn, Simon Wilkins, Krzysztof Dabrowski and danger man Ali Masson are capable of putting in good runs, but are still relatively unproven against the Poly.

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 - L - 17 - 10 2008/09 DH - W 23 - 7 XC - W 25 - 3 2009/10 DH - W 11 - 10 XC - W 18 -3

going to be difficult for both captains.

However, the Poly can expect a tight defensive unit and quick ball around the attacking circle.

The Thirds have beaten the Poly twice in the BUCS championship by an incredible 20 goals and are hoping to meet this target again. The Poly needs to watch out for the amazing defensive unit of Katie Marron and Charlotte Plumtree.

Previously, the Fourths drew with their northern counterparts and are hoping to use their strong fitness to their advantage this year.

Having played the thirds in their BUCS league and narrowly missing out, this game should be one for them to fight for. Centre court player Jo Pilkington will be looking to use her quick passes to her advantage against an expected feisty defender.

Hopefully the girls will finish the season with a bang!

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 1sts - L 26 - 69 2nds - L 27- 45 3rds - L 27 - 37 4ths - W 41 - 17 2008/09 1sts - L 25 - 60 2nds - L 32 - 33 3rds - L 21 - 30 4ths - W 40 - 39 2009/10 1sts - W 57 - 37 2nds - W 33 - 31 3rds - W 34 - 29 4ths - D 38 - 38

Rugby League

Ian McPherson

1sts at 5pm and 2nds at 2pm both at Gateshead Stadium The Owls have enjoyed their most successful season ever under new coach Andy Stanton, boasting two league titles and a semi-final in the BUCS cup competition to date. More importantly, both NURL sides have recorded victories over local rivals Northumbria already this season.

The First XIII started their league campaign as one of the favourites to lift the Premier North trophy, however, few could have predicted how comfortably they would have achieved their task; finishing the season with only one league defeat and an astronomical points difference. The Owls’ First team also got through to the semi-final of the BUCS cup competition, beating their Poly counterparts in the quarters at Cochrane Park.

The Second XIII also enjoyed an impressive season, lifting the North 2 league trophy with only one league defeat all season; a remarkable achievement for a team that failed to record a league win last season.

This year’s Stan Calvert showdown will mark the end of an era for the Owls, with the departure of skipper Poops McGeezer, Wacky Jack Webb and baby-footed kicker Robse C. Seagreaves in the summer. The club will also say its farewells to bash brothers Deadlift Dawson and Will ‘the Warrington walrus’ who are departing to pursue futures in the fast food industry.

Despite these losses, the club’s future looks promising, with the likes of Chris Griffiths, George Matthew and Barry Yeeeend having made impressive First team debuts this season.

Both First and Decond teams can go into their Stan Calvert showdown full of confidence on the back of an extraordinarily successful season, with the belief that two victories on 30 March will be the icing on a cake so big, not even Will Winter could finish it.

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 1sts - W 20 - 4 2nds - W 36 - 6 2008/09 1sts - W 34 - 20 2nds - W 58 - 20 2009/10 1sts - W 40 - 6 2nds - VOID

Men’s Rugby Union

Rhys Davies

1sts at 7pm at Gateshead Stadium, 2nds and 3rds both at 2pm at Cochrane Park, 4ths at Bullocksteads at 2pm The club has enjoyed a mixed season at all levels. The First team lost their opening five games before Christmas, rooting them to the bottom of the league with 0 points.

After Christmas, with key players back fit, the team

won three games out of four, starting with a victory against Loughborough.

Victories against Nottingham at home and their Stan Calvert opponents Northumbria 17-0 at Bullocksteads followed to cement their BUCS Premiership position.

Their record in the showpiece event did not go according to plan two years ago, after being beaten heavily by Northumbria at Gateshead. Last year the game fell afoul of the weather.

Having already defeated the Poly three weeks ago, the First XV are confident of winning the game and providing the perfect showpiece for Team Newcastle.

The Seconds have only won two of their games this season but, against fellow relegation candidates Northumbria Seconds, a victory is definitely possible.

Newcastle’s Third team have enjoyed a decent season, and having already

beaten Northumbria Thirds in the cup earlier in the season, they are very confident of the victory.

The same can be said of the Fourth team, having gained promotion from their league, and are very confident of victory, especially as they have beaten the Poly Thirds and Fourths four times in total this season.

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 1sts - W 33 - 14 2nds - W 47 - 10 3rds - L 3 - 25 4ths - D 20 - 20 2008/09 1sts - L 8 - 36 2nds - W 41 - 24 3rds - L 10 - 43 4ths - VOID 2009/10 1sts - VOID 2nds - VOID 3rds - VOID 4th - VOID

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

7

Squash

Rob Atkinson

Men’s 1sts at 5pm, 2nds at 3pm and 3rds at 1pm, all at Newcastle Sports Centre.

Women’s 1sts at 4pm and 2nds at 2pm both at Sports Central On the back of another strong season, the Men’s Squash Club go into Stan Calvert full of confidence.

History shows Newcastle Squash to dominate in Stan Calvert with victories in the last two years including a 14-1 demolition last time round. The First team, playing at a higher level than their Northumbria counterparts, will look to claim a comfortable victory.

Similarly a strong Second team should also complete an easy victory, high on confidence after beating the Northumbria First team in the BUCS league. The Third team, making their debut in the competition, will look to salvage some pride from a disappointing season by bringing home three points to create a clean sweep for the Squash Club.

With the majority of the current squad graduating at the end of this year, the Stan Calvert fixture will provide

Previous Encounters:

2008/09 M’s 1sts - W 3 - 2 Men’s 2nds - W 3 - 0 W’men’s 1sts - D 2 - 2 W’men’s 2nds - W 4 - 0 2009/10- M’s 1sts - W 4 - 1 Men’s 2nds - W 3 - 0 W’men’s 1sts - W 3 - 1 W’men’s 2nds - L 0 - 5

Women’s Rugby Union

Ali White & Rhian Davies Cochrane Park at 2pm

For NWR, Stan Calvert is the biggest match of their season. Newcastle have experienced a tough season due to weather conditions and pressure in completing their fixture list.

However, the side have

impressively remained in the top half of their league.

With a new coach this

year there have been visible improvements, and NWR are a changed team since meeting the Poly in pre-season.

NWR hope that they can take motivation from the Poly’s poor form, which has left them bottom of the Northern Premiership.

Last year, NWR beat Northumbria 10-0. Hopefully it will mark the beginning of a winning streak and can set a precedent for this year.

This match does mean everything to the team, especially the old girls who remember what it feels like to lose to the Poly. Hopefully this passion will help NWR achieve the result they want.

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 - W/O 2008/09 - L 10 - 22 2009/10 - W 10 - 0

Swimming

Elisabeth Kilcourse

Both Men’s and Women’s at UNN Sports Central at 2pm Despite a one point loss last year, the swimming team are more than capable of avenging last year’s defeat, and returning to the 5-1 victories

Tennis

George Binsted

Men’s 1sts and 2nds at 12pm, both at David Lloyd. Women’s 1sts at 12pm at Esporta in Sunderland and Women’s 2nds at 11am at Puma centre Sunderland The time has come for not just reflection, but also foresight. This has been a season of frustration for the Newcastle Tennis team.

Volleyball

Charles Cain

Men’s at 3pm, Women’s at 1pm both at UNN Sports Central The Royals have had a tough season plagued by injury.

Loukadis has been out since before Christmas, Nowitzki missed most of the season with a back injury, whilst club captain Cain missed several matches with a knee injury.

However, squad depth was improved by the arrival of Al-Shafai in November, providing valuable cover for Cain as setter, with Plojhar and Alexey recruited in February as replacement middles as well as ‘Mini Mike’.

Consequently, Newcastle are on a six game winning

of 2008 and 2009.

The side has had a successful year after working hard to increase numbers and improve training. This year we have achieved more BUCS points than the last five years, despite being unable to compete in the Team Championship because of bad weather.

We have a full team on board for next Wednesday’s Stan Calvert, including gold medal winner, and winner of two individual events last year Will Jolly, along with BUCS finalists Amy Jesset and Rachel Ellis.

This year, club records have fallen across the board being broken in Men’s 50, 100 and 200 metre freestyle by Adam Shaw, 50 and 100 metre butterfly by Rachel Ellis, while the Men’s freestyle relay

team Chris Garner Jones, Misha Newman, Bob Hunt and Adam Shaw, have also broken records of their own.

This year, Northumbria will not be an easy team to beat. With a new swimming pool and a new coach they have stepped up their game.

Across the year we have come up against them at BUCS and in friendly meets, and results have been close.

We hope that with spirits high and a good team mentality we can pull it out the bag for the win.

The Men’s team has not reached the expectations that were set at the start of the year. A number of good performances against Sunderland and Durham were then followed by poor defeats to the hands of Leeds and York.

If a little more effort had been put in, then it would have not been unrealistic to have gained promotion.

Rebekah Guntrip and Alex Turner demand special mentions this year for their overall endeavours within the team. Captains Alex Newell and Aimee Daly also warrant a mention.

Alex Newell has often had to rely on his oratorical prowess in order to inspire a performance from the men. If he had followed Aimee Daly’s authoritarian approach to rule, then the Men’s team results may have been different.

The women this year have done very well in a difficult

league. Aimee has worked hard with a group of committed and talented girls, and the results have reflected of this.

The team must aim for two wins against Northumbria next week. It will be difficult to replicate last year’s whitewash, but Newcastle must believe that we can embarrass Northumbria two years running.

streak stretching back to their last match against Northumbria and have finished second in their BUCS division.

Meanwhile, Northumbria is considered the third best Men’s university team in the country thanks in part to major university funding and coaching from GB Women’s National Assistant Coach.

Further tension between the two sides was created when key player Matasar was recruited by Team Northumbria for National League, though he continues to play for Newcastle, and club captain Charles Cain has a “real bone to pick with Northumbria” after they dumped the Royals out of the BUCS Cup. There is a real derby feel to this match and Newcastle are playing with a point to prove.

The Women’s team have had a tough season, with injuries to key players Douglas and captain Lei, as well as an absence from Karaoglu contributing to their relegation from the BUCS First Division and failure to qualify for the Student Cup. In contrast, Northumbria had a successful season and is considered to be the second best Women’s Uni team in the country.

However, Coaches Cain

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 - W 5- 1 2008/09 - W 5 - 1 2009/10 - L 2.5 - 3.5

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 Men’s - L 2 - 8 W’men’s - L 2 - 8 2008/09 Men’s - L 4 - 6 W’men’s 1sts - W 4 - 6 W’men’s 2nds - VOID 2009/10 - Men’s - W 10 - 0 W’men’s 1sts - W 7 - 3 W’men’s 2nds -W 6 - 2 and Cadwallader feel the girls have a fighting chance and potential to win the match with the quality in their squad, two of which were almost poached by Team Northumbria for the National League.

“It’s not that they’re a bad team” said Cadwallader, “they just are a small squad and if you get an injury to a key player or a dip in form you will struggle.”

Douglas is also cautiously optimistic: “Looking at our team on the day we should be pretty strong, but then again we haven’t practiced in two weeks so who knows?”

Seasoned player Tiff Hung will be in the squad after electing to play volleyball instead of basketball, which is a major boost for morale and talent. Though Newcastle are most certainly the underdogs this Stan Calvert, don’t rule out an upset.

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 Men’s - L 2 - 3 Women’s - W 3 -1 2008/09 Men’s - L 0 - 3 Women’s - L 1 - 3 2009/10 Men’s - W 3 - 1 Women’s W 3 - 0

8

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

Who will take home the trophy?

Predictions from those in the know

The stands of Gateshead stadium will be packed on Wednesday night for the showpiece First XV Men’s Rugby Union showdown

Charley Wright, Athletic Union Officer

Prediction: Newcastle Win After last year’s incredible demolition of the Poly, every Team Newcastle competitor should be wary of getting complacent with their fixtures. It is very unlikely that the amazing achievement in last year’s competition in beating the Poly by 50 odd points will be matched come Wednesday, but I am still quietly confident in an unbelievable fourth consecutive Stan Calvert Cup win for Team Newcastle.

Going into the big day, Newcastle are ahead of Northumbria thanks to some scintillating performances from our Skiing, American Football and Boat Clubs, all scoring comprehensive victories over the past few weeks to rack up 12 points for Team Newcastle. The points margin at this point is larger than the one leading

up to the 09-10 event which holds promise.

However, underestimate the Poly at your peril. A new £35m sports centre at the beginning of the year will have lifted their spirits and fitness levels, while some of their team’s performances in BUCS competitions have been impressive. Team Northumbria’s Football, Basketball and Netball setups are strong, and it will take a host of resilient performances from our guys and girls to overcome them in these fixtures.

Team Newcastle do have strong sports too. Hockey should record a third consecutive clean sweep, with Squash, Athletics and Badminton also looking to record important wins for vital Stan Calvert points.

On top of this, league champions Rugby League Firsts and Seconds should be aiming to win their most important game of the year for the League and Stan Calvert double.

The unknown factor this year will be the new events that have been in-

cluded, making this year’s cup the biggest ever with 26 sports competing. Out of the three new sports competing, Clay Pigeon Shooting will be the most confident of bringing in two points for Team Newcastle, followed by the Gaelic Football club, who have a 50/50 record against Northumbria this season. The Gymnastics result will be one I am particularly looking forward to coming in, as anything could happen.

Overall, I am going for a Team Newcastle win, but every competitor will need to put everything they have into each and every fixture.

Live Stan Calvert Updates

Check out www. thecourieronline.co.uk for up to the minute scores and full match reports for all this year’s events

Wills Robinson, Jono Taylor, Kat Bannon Sports Editors

Prediction: Newcastle win Last year was a very different story. Taking place on a Sunday, many of Northumbria’s top athletes were unavailable because of other sporting commitments, meaning that Newcastle were helped on their way to a record-breaking win.

Now the tournament is back to its traditional Wednesday slot and the majority of the Poly’s teams will be at full strength. It is safe to say that this year’s clash will be more closely fought than the convincing thrashing that was inflicted last year. Despite a probable Northumbrian res-

pite, it is hard to ignore Newcastle’s record in the tournament.

The tournament last year was also a bit of an anti-climax, with the showpiece rugby event falling victim to the rain, leaving the thousands of expecting fans from both universities disappointed. Both sides have also been made to wait longer after the original date in December was postponed because of the snow. The frustration and anticipation by both sets of athletes could result in some feisty exchanges.

Even though Northumbria may be favourites in some of the major sports, such as Rugby and Football, Newcastle have shown that they are stronger across the board. The reigning champions already have victories in Rowing, Skiing and American Football under their belt, leaving their opponents already on

the back foot going into the day.

Also, having watched Team Newcastle progress throughout the year, despite some low points, there have been huge successes with the likes of Rugby League and Men’s Hockey having outstanding seasons. Even the Men’s Rugby Union, who had a poor start to the season, have managed to stage their own comeback to avoid relegation out of the Northern Premiership. Northumbria will most certainly be out for revenge after the events that unfolded last year, and will be determined to stop Newcastle winning an unprecedented fourth title in a row. However, it seems unlikely that the crowd at Gateshead on Wednesday night will be witnessing a nail-biting climax to the day, as Newcastle will more than likely have taken the spoils during the day.

Fixtures Sport

Venue

Athletics Badminton - M 1 Badminton - M 2 Badminton - W Basketball - M 1 Basketball - M 2 Basketball - M3 Basketball - W 1 Basketball - W 2 Cricket - M 1 Cricket - M 2 Cricket - M 3 Fencing - M Fencing - W Football - M 1 Football - M 2 Football - M 3 Golf - 1 Golf - 2 Gymnastics Hockey - M 1 Hockey - M 2 Hockey - M 3 Hockey - W 1 Hockey - W 2 Hockey - W 3 Lacrosse - M Lacrosse - W Mountain Biking DH Mountain Biking XC Netball - 1 Netball - 2 Netball - 3 Netball - 4 Rugby League - 1 Rugby League - 2 Rugby Union - M 1 Rugby Union - M 2 Rugby Union - M 3 Rugby Union - M 4 Rugby Union - W Squash - M 1 Squash - M 2 Squash - M 3 Squash - W 1 Squash - W 2 Swimming - M Swimming - W Table Tennis - M 1 Table Tennis - M 2 Table Tennis - W Tennis - M 1 Tennis - M 2 Tennis - W 1 Tennis - W 2 Volleyball - M Volleyball - W

Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium NU Sports Centre NU Sports Centre Gateshead Stadium UNN Sport Central South North CC South North CC South North CC UNN Sports Central UNN Sports Central Gateshead 3G Gateshead 3G Gateshead 3G Maften Hall GC Northumberland GC Benfield Longbenton Longbenton Longbenton Coach Lane Coach Lane Coach Lane Cochrane Park Redhall Hamsterly Forest Hamsterly Forest Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Cochrane Park Cochrane Park Bullocksteads Cochrane Park NU Sports Centre NU Sports Centre NU Sports Centre UNN Sport Central UNN Sport Central UNN Sport Central UNN Sport Central UNN Sport Central UNN Sport Central UNN Sport Central David Lloyd David Lloyd Esporta - Sunderland Puma Centre - S’land UNN Sports Central UNN Sports Central

Time 13.00 14.00 10.00 12.00 18.30 15.00 13.00 16.30 12.00 12.00 10.30 09.00 12.30 12.30 17.00 15.00 13.00 19.15 17.00 11.00 11.00 13.00 13.30 12.00 15.00 15.30 13.30 12.00 17.00 15.30 13.30 13.30 17.30 16.00 14.30 13.00 17.00 14.00 19.00 14.00 14.00 17.00 15.00 13.00 16.00 14.00 14.00 14.00 14.00 14.00 14.00 12.00 12.00 12.00 11.00 15.00 13.00

Wilfred the Lion, infamous for his tackling of streakers at Gateshead stadium a few years ago, will be getting all the supporters behind Team Newcastle on Wednesday

24

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

Life & Style

NSR are back for a second week on 87.7 FM - check out our full schedule > Page 35

art

Getting back to basics with the natural world Sally Priddle on a student-created exhibition that challenges and re-thinks the traditional idyllic presentation of nature in art The new Land[e]scape exhibition at Newcastle’s Hatton Gallery explores the relationship between humanity and nature.

The idea they wanted to capture was “And Nature…then to me was all in all”, demonstrating the new relationship that is emerging between humans and the natural world as issues of sustainability and climate change become increasingly important to today’s world.

The exhibit initially examines the traditional perception of nature, as an idyllic retreat offering people the opportunity for solitude, spiritual refreshment and liberation of the mind and develops to explore the fragile relationship that we have today with the environment around us and how relevant it is for people to think about.

There are special works drawn from the Hatton Gallery’s own collection, with eminent artists such as Wassily Kandinsky, Ian Hamilton Finlay and Alan Davie represented.

In addition there are local contemporary artists including Stéphanie Beaulieu, Ben Muir and Rachel Maloney.

Land [e]scape complements Littoral Drifter, which is the current solo exhibition by artist Ben Cook. Cook’s work is an alternative interpretation of the coastal landscape with regards to and from the perspective of the surf culture, it raises questions about the impact of human

activity on the natural environment around us and what effects we will ultimately have on nature. Land[e] scape similarly embraces these ideas and hopes to make people question the relationship between humanity and nature.

The exhibition is directed by students currently studying for an MA in Art Museum and Gallery Studies, Land[e]scape is a next generation reaction to the enduring and tense relationship between man and nature.

A relationship that has developed and changed over the years, Land[e] scape wants to express the significance of considering the effects humanity has on the environment, as it is necessary to realise how important the environment is and how abusive we are to it.

With technology becoming ever more central to today’s lifestyle, the effects that is has on the environment can be seen to take secondary place in people’s minds.

The relationship that man has with nature has become one of dominance rather than reliance and this exhibition highlights this and explores it, so that people are challenged to question their personal relationship with nature. The curators are going to lead tours and hold interactive workshops around the exhibit; these will be for all ages and promise to offer a truly exhilarating experience.

‘And Nature... then to me was all in all’: this quote captures the essence of Land[e]scape, an exhibition put together by MA students

The Hatton Gallery has been called the heart of cultural life in the North East, and prides itself on combining historical, modern and contemporary art exhibitions, showing the

stage

people of Newcastle the diverse world of art.

Alongside having ever-changing exhibits, the Hatton has a permanent collection that comprises over

3,500 works, ranging from the Renaissance to the twentieth century.

Land[e]scape is on at the Hatton Gallery from April 1 to April 30

stage

Stripping off for some bare-faced cheek Tall tales about real life Next month the West End Operatic Society, an amateur company well known throughout the North East, will be staging a production of The Full Monty, a musical version of the smash hit film, at the Journal Tyne Theatre. After the success of their last production La Cage Aux Folles, this one is bound to be every bit as good.

Whilst the steel mills of Sheffield are the back drop of the 1997 film, the stage version has been Americanized and moves the action onto six unemployed steelworkers in Buffalo, New York. It does follow the original plot very closely though, so fans of the film will recognise the story.

After seeing how much their wives enjoy watching male strippers during their girls night out, two best friends Jerry and Dave, come up with a bold way to make some quick cash and decided to have a go at it themselves.

Jerry declares that their show will be better than the Chippendales

dancers because they'll go ‘the full monty’ and strip all the way. In the process they find renewed self-esteem, the importance of friendship and the ability to have fun.

As the guys work through their fears, self-consciousness, feelings of worthlessness and anxieties over everything from being overweight to child custody, bigotry to being gay.

They come to discover that not only are they stronger as a group, but that the strength they find in each other gives them the individual courage to face their demons and overcome them.

There is great heart to The Full Monty, and the ultimate themes expressed in the show, about taking charge of one’s life and following one’s dreams are great lessons for all of us.

The Full Monty is a musical with a book by Terrence McNally, whose other work includes Kiss of the Spiderwoman and Ragtime and score by David Yazbek, who also wrote the

scores for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, which starred Patti LuPone on Broadway last year.

The show first premiered in New York and ran on Broadway for two years after opening at the Eugene O’Neil Theatre in 2000. It won a handful of awards, including at the Drama Desk and was nominated for nine Tony Awards.

It also ran during 2002 in the West End at the Prince of Wales Theatre, during which many of the original Broadway cast reprised their roles.

So if you’re looking for a show with great music, lots of laughs but with a big heart, then this is the show for you. Grab a ticket while you can as it’s already selling well.

The Full Monty is on at The Journal Tyne Theatre from April 11-16. For tickets and information visit: www.thejournaltynetheatre.co.uk Laura Holmes

Northern Stage has gained something of a reputation for the unconventional shows that often grace its stages, and this Spring is to be no exception. The theatre hosts a night of storytelling similar to its recent Fairytales for Grownups, but this time with an interactive twist.

The Spark is a live story-telling event that invites audience members to prepare a true story on a theme and perform it unprompted for a curious crowd of friendly but discerning listeners. It is not compulsory to tell a story and anyone is welcome to simply observe.

Inspired by a similar event in New York, The Spark want to hear stories from people from all walks of life.

Their aim is to provide an exuberant, simple and popular real-life story-telling night with a friendly, open atmosphere.

To be involved in the story-telling, all you need to do is turn up on the night and put your name in The Spark hat. The theme of Northern Stage’s event is ‘The Argument’,

and anyone planning to put their name forward to tell a story should think up a true story around this idea. This won’t be that difficult for anyone who has a flatmate who is too loud, too messy or too tidy. Or for anyone with relatives.

As for any casual competition, The Spark does have rules. Stories must last no more than five minutes, must be based on the specified theme, must be TRUE, and must be a story, ideally with a beginning, middle and end.

Writers Al Kennedy and Harry Pearson will be there to tell all about their arguments and kick off the story-telling mood, so whether you have a yearning desire to tell stories or just want to hear a good tale, come along to what promises to be a fun, insightful and unpredictable night.

The Spark is on at Northern Stage on April 8.

Rosie Tallant

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

25

Life &

Arts Culture

Arts Editor: Stephanie Ferrao - courier.culture-arts@ncl.ac.uk

art

stage

Psychedelic street culture

Catherine Langley on a Quayside exhibition that uses imagination to use the gritty city as a canvas

The Outsiders Gallery on the Quayside prides itself in supporting contemporary artists who, “collectively, defy categorization.” This is confirmed by its current exhibition Pecking Disorder, which presents the works of innovative graffiti artist Xenz in all their artistic splendor, with a clear focus on imagination.

The show acts as a retrospective of his career, with pieces dating back to his beginnings in the 1980s, as well as displaying his more recent work.

Xenz started his life as an artist by enlivening derelict warehouses with murals in his hometown of Hull.

Eventually becoming prolific in his field with works that questioned the conventional styles of graffiti, he became one of the first street artists to use the city as his canvas - placing his art in powerful locations.

Furthermore, he helped set up TCF a highly influential graffiti organization, which holds Banksy as one of its other members. Much of his work draws on natural imagery, with a psychedelic influence and the use of vibrant colour.

The artist said of the exhibition that, “As a whole the show examines the idea of taking a holiday in paradise without realising that paradise is all in the mind. Normally I paint a fantasy world, so this body of work’s been interesting to produce as it contains mostly urban scenes.”

Many of the paintings have a dirty urban quality to them, very much at odds with the style that Xenz prefers to work in. It thus conveys the full scope of his repertoire along with his enormous talent as an artist.

His most recent pieces centre on the representation and forms of birds in various different media.

One of his most distinctive pieces in this series represents the birds in a grimy, street environment. The use

Birds of a feather: Northern artist Xenz’s Pecking Disorder comprises of paintings that map surreal landscapes on to urban settings

of the spray paint creates a film over the canvas fully evoking the texture of the pavement and the filth in which they inhabit.

Through layering different materials the work seems to be extremely multifaceted, in that it breaks down the barriers between painting and graffiti. The smoke emanating from the cigarette appears almost chalky

alongside the dark, harsh birds. Colour is mainly limited to a grey and dark palette, thus slightly bright undertones have maximum impact.

Another striking element of his craft are his prints which are perhaps more conventional in style, yet graffiti is still subtly present, conveying just how crucial this still is to him as an artist.

Xenz is definitely a street artist with much to offer, while helping one to question more traditional art styles. Take this rare opportunity to visit his creative world and see what you make of the North’s answer to Banksy.

Pecking Disorder is on at The Outsiders Gallery until April 16.

opinion

Female comedians still don’t get the last laugh In a male dominated world, female comedians are far and few between.

However, after the recent success of female comedians such as Miranda Hart at the British Comedy Awards who took home a hattrick, could symbolise a change for comedy in Britain.

For me, female comedians tend to be of a different genre to that of male comedians, with their comedy mainly surrounding family, men, identity and, for some reason, Sarah Milligan loves to discuss her vagina.

I think that female comedians have a more domesticated style of comedy that for some is not as appealing as the crude, sarcastic comedy of male comics like Frankie Boyle. Standup comedy over recent years has become central to British Saturday night TV with shows like Comedy

Rocks, Michael McIntyre’s Roadshow and Live at the Apollo being shown and repeated regularly.

Comedy has changed from sketch shows to this more intimate style of comedy where the comedians have to show the live audience what they are made of.

Perhaps this is why the often more quick-witted style of the male comedians is better received than that of the more domestic style comedy of the female comedians, which why many of the male comedians have gone on to write and star in their own shows such as Russell Howard and John Bishop.

However, maybe this is a traditional perception of comedy that should be changed and revolutionised, I mean who would have thought Frankie Boyle would have had his own show that could do

sketches about Nazis and getting so high a car could talk, without being taken off TV? Offensive comedy that challenges the boundaries of what is acceptable is taking comedy up a notch; however, can female comedians be compatible with such crudeness? Some would argue not as there is still an inherent expectation of women that means people do not find it funny for them to discuss the same things as men.

However, there are some comedians such as Joan Rivers and Jo Brand who are known for crude comedy but maybe this is because they play up to the masculine side of their personalities. In general, throughout day to day life women are perceived to be not as funny as men; there is still an image that women are too overly sensitive to understand cer-

tain male humour and they do not live up to the ‘banter’ culture.

However, is this purely because men don’t expect women to be as funny, and if they do they are seen as less feminine, maybe it is just because it is a little bit intimidating to be outwitted by a woman?

Overall, I think that there is a place for female comedians in the business, however, the style of comedy that many women are known for is less sarcastic and quick witted and therefore for many people it is too much a ‘family friendly’ comedy.

The prominence of the male comedians on the circuit does suggest that although female comedians are gaining success, they have to try a lot harder to reach the same level of success as men.

Sally Priddle

Sick of the Royal Wedding?

We are all familiar with the ending of Cinderella; after her glass slipper is lost and found by Prince Charming, he arrives at her house on his horse, discovers she is the mysterious girl that stole his heart at the ball and they live happily ever after.

However, what happens next, after the perfect ending? Surely it can’t be beaten?

Even worse, what if Charming isn’t up to scratch in the bedroom department and Cinderella starts up a sordid affair with the big bad Wolf? Or, Cinderella gets a taste for those wild nights out in her glass slippers but Charming would rather stay in with a game of scrabble and a cup of tea?

Maybe it turns out Charming actually always had a thing for ugly step sisters after all?

My point is that although the iconic fairy tale ending seems nothing less than perfect, perhaps it is best kept as an ending rather than a beginning.

On the day of the country’s very own Royal Wedding, controversial script writers Ed Waugh and Trevor Wood will be offering an alternative in the form of Cinderella 2. The pair will be staging a script-in-hand read through of a play that highlights the problems that pantomime heroine Cinderella has after her fairy tale marriage to her handsome Prince.

Director and producer Gary Hunt describes the production as a “light relief to the saturation coverage of the real royal wedding”. Hunter says that “the show will feature professional actors reading from the script and doing some moves. There will be very little set but lots of audience participation, so we want people to come along and have a great time.” So, if you think you’ll be reaching for the sick bag on the day of this momentous occasion, this comedic piece of theatre will be right up your street.

Although there are some significant differences between the make believe world of Walt Disney and a marriage taking place on our home turf, Waugh and Wood aim to capture the dangers of the pressure put on couples such as Will and Kate.

The production poses the question: what comes after the hype and glitter of the wedding day? Will our very own Royal couple struggle to maintain a fairy-tale relationship in the public eye after the bouquet has been thrown?

The show is strictly a one-off and the venue can only hold around 100 people, so if you’re interested in spending you’re bank holiday enjoying some comic relief rather than cooing over Kate’s dress then get on it ASAP! Cinderella 2 is performed on April 29 at The Customs House, South Shields.

Tickets are £4 (£3 concessions).

Fiona McCutcheon

26

Culture

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

Arts

arts reviews NUTS Cabaret Culture Lab 18 - 20 March Before the production of Cabaret began on Sunday night, the cast of scantily-clad wartime hookers were already setting the scene, dangling their legs over the banisters of the staircase that led to the Culture Lab performance space and coaxing you into the small dark room.

We were quite near the front of the crowd filing in, but the seats were already filling up, so we picked a pair of aisle seats four rows back.

As the show began and the dancing girls of the KitKat Club began slinking in, I soon realised we were still not close enough: the seats were all on one level, so we couldn’t see a lot of what I think was very wellexecuted choreography (and, much to his dismay, my boyfriend missed out on some lovely girls straddling chairs wearing not much more than their knickers). The restricted view unfortunately impacted significantly, as I was straining to see through gaps between heads all evening.

Cabaret has always been a rather seedy musical, set in a nightclub in pre-WW2 Berlin, and this production did not fail to deliver the same sinister edge. The Master of Ceremonies was the highlight of the play: he was the perfect mix of charisma and sleaze with his creepy, clownish mannerisms.

The other main characters also gave compelling performances, especially that of baddy Nazi, Herr Ludwig. The dancers should not be referred to as a collective; as well as the choreography, some especially played their own unique and amusing personas.

I also really enjoyed the relationship between Herr Schultz and Frau Schneider who played excellently against each other and contrasted the surrealism of the cabaret with a bittersweet slice of reality. My only complaint of the performances would be that some accents were at times a bit unconvincing, which detracted from the story’s authenticity.

The musical side of the performance was brilliant: I thoroughly enjoyed all of the songs, especially the title song “Cabaret”. Although the completely unaccompanied rendition of Broadway belter “Maybe This Time” wasn’t quite my cup of tea (I prefer it with a show-stopping brass band), it really showed off her outstanding vocals.

Overall, the individual performances were all thoroughly entertaining, and the costume, make-up and simplistic set really enhanced the captivating performance. The plot was, at times, slightly disjointed, possibly because of edits made to the script: this, the faltering accents and my restricted view are really the only criticisms I can make of yet another fabulous NUTS production.

Briony Carlin

NUTS: A spectacular combination of costume, dance and music made Cabaret a ‘captivating performance’ from start to finish

Roald Dahl’s Twisted Tales Northern Stage 16 - 26 March

The Dice Players Shipley Gallery 19 March - 3 Jan 2012

Topher McGrillis Northern Stage 29 January - 9 April

Payne’s Grey BALTIC 25 February - 12 June

No Exit The Jazz Cafe 16 - 17 March

Making a play only 80 minutes long seems a risky strategy. Whilst you are guaranteed the audience’s attention, those minutes have to make a trip to the theatre and the cost of the admission worth it, and it’s here that it seems Jeremy Dyson’s production of Twisted Tales walks a thin line.

The high point of this production is certainly in the staging; the use of a revolving mechanism means the play slips effortlessly between the anthology of strange stories, and the set has a late 1950s stylised gleam to it which is appealing to the eye.

But where it starts to unravel slightly as a production is mainly in the script; what could have been a collection of particularly twisted macabre tales don’t have the impact that they should; the first, concerning a strange landlady with an obsession for taxidermy, is over before it began and in others the supposed twist is all to guessable.

The standout story is about a bet making man from Jamaica, which fills the audience with real suspense.

Overall an enjoyable play to look at, but it certainly left you wanting a bit intrigue and a tale or two more.

The Dice Players is on loan to the Shipley Galley for a limited time, yet there’s no question of it fitting in; the beautiful gallery houses a little-bit-of-everything and, on my visit, had an eclectic range of exhibitions. The Dice Players like many of the exhibitions at The Shipley, was an interactive one in that replica outfits of those in the painting were provided to try on. The relevance of this was that the “real-life” garments were the perfect comparison to La Tour’s unbelievable talent for representing texture.

From buttery leather to glossy armour, the painting has a really tactile effect. This was quite literally highlighted by a concentration on ‘chiaroscuro’, i.e. the mastery of light and dark; not only is this technique utilised flawlessly, but when combined with the subject matter of a dice game, it raises questions as to the nature of this game.

Why is it being played in the dark; is the game a secret or forbidden?

And is there a wager or is this an evening’s revelry between friends?

The Dice Players draws you in and demands an appreciation of La Tour’s talent, therefore making it worth taking a look.

Topher McGrillis clearly understands the subtle art of theatrical photography. It’s certainly something Northern Stage have picked up on as they gave him a year-long commission to collate an exhibition reflecting the theatre’s 40th birthday year. Found on the mezzanine floor of the Northern Stage, I was somewhat disappointed to find the exhibition room cluttered with tables and chairs which relegated the photographs to a purely decorative role rather than being the main attraction. This was a shame, as the photographs themselves were captivating. McGrillis shows real flare for capturing the drama of the moment; whether it’s performance art or musical theatre. The exhibition is a mix of photographs that capture the glamour of a performance as well as intimacy of backstage preparations. My favourite was Peter Pan - a shot of Louis Roberts brandishing a sword towards the audience in the theatre’s much-acclaimed alternative pantomime. McGrillis has clearly chosen the pictures with care, avoiding the pitfall of making the exhibition an advert for the Northern Stage. It’s unfortunate that such skilled photography wasn’t in a more fitting artistic space.

Perhaps somewhat in the shadow of the much more extensive show The Sly and Unseen Day on level 3, Payne’s Grey is a small unassuming collection on level 2 of 14 of Shaw’s lesser known works in watercolour.

As the show title suggests, the images are restricted to a grey colour pallet, which wasn’t as monotonous as the description would suggest.

The subject of the images does not vary that greatly from his better known work in humbrol enamel, but unlike the block colours of those pictures, the use of watercolours adds a mysterious, and sometimes ominous depth to the everyday scenes. It is, however, understandable why this is not the work he is known for.

Whilst nice to look at, the work does not bear the original quality that marks his more famous work, and this exhibition appears most interesting in comparison to them, as an example of the skill and diversity of a painter known for something very different. Not an exhibition to be ignored but not one to be seen independently either; have a look at his main work first and see this on the way out for something a bit different.

Knowing a little about Jean Paul Sartre’s No Exit, I was already expecting something out of the ordinary from Fishbowl Theatre’s production. No Exit is set in hell, but we’re not talking fire and torture here; Sartre’s existentialist hell is merely a room to which the three principal characters have been eternally bound.

Biting humour and complex characters break up a heavy concept and, staged in the round, the eternal gaze of others was not only intelligently thought out in terms of watching the play itself but extended into the realm of the audience.

The three damned individuals were played with carefully measured character developments and conflicting emotion. Garcin, in denial and desperately trying to convince himself of his choices was played with aplomb by Patrick Robertson, whilst Hannah Costanzo shone as Inez, powerfully sadistic without overacting. Danielle Cancelliere played the socialite gone wrong, Estelle, and provided the performance of the night. No Exit was well executed and elegantly put together and while Sartre’s work may not be everyone’s cup of tea, this production left no one doubting his genius.

Jenny Hyndman

Stephanie Ferrao

Polly Randall

Georgia Snow

Polly Randall

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

Film

film

27

Culture

Film Editor: Adam Williams - courier.culture-film@ncl.ac.uk

film of the week

Submarine Director: Richard Ayoade Cast: Noah Taylor, Sally Hawkins, Paddy Considine Runtime: 97 mins

It is very rare to see a directorial debut as confident and as passionate as Submarine. Very few have done so recently; attempting to avoid pandering to a certain unreachable mainstream crowd or following every cliché under the sun. This is very much Richard Ayoade’s Reservoir Dogs or Kicking and Screaming; a film that shows his love for cinema as well as one that lets him show off his talents. It’s clear that Ayoade wants to take the film-making rule book and throw it away, replacing it with his own, moulding it into what he wants. Whether this confidence comes from his previous work on shows such as Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace, in which he played the director/actor in the fake 80s serial horror series of the same name, or

The IT Crowd, which he is most famous for his portrayal of geeky tech guy Moss, or simply from his desire to make a difference in cinema isn’t exactly clear, but it’s refreshing to see a director step up to the plate to do so, and a first time one at that.

Based on Joe Dunthorne’s 2008 novel of the same name, Submarine is set in a Welsh costal town somewhere in the 80s. It follows the story of a 15-year-old boy named Oliver Tate, played by Craig Roberts who has enough awkwardness to out awkward Jesse Eisenberg, as he attempts to both lose his virginity and keep his parent’s marriage from falling apart. He’s a fantasist at heart, so much so he practically dreams in Super 8 film, and a boy who is nostalgic for his youth even while he’s still young. He dreams of how his school, and the country, might react to his sudden death, candle-lit vigils and all, before returning Christ-like before his schoolmates, and he gets more enjoyment out of reading the dictionary than socialising. It seems overly pretentious in theory but in practise it works well to capture the

flaws of this character.

This is down to Ayoade’s quirkiness in creating these characters, whilst managing to keep them real.

Oliver’s love, Jordana (Paige), is a complicated girl with a dislike of emotions and a sheer enjoyment in pyromania. His parents, Jill and Lloyd, are not just played for laughs as most coming of age stories would do, although Sally Hawkins is a definite stand out as Jill Graham, Paddy Considine’s over the top New Age self-help guru, is the only one that really teeters on the edge of absurd-

ity, almost pulling you out, but his relationship with old flame Jill still feels real. It’s Ayoade’s mastery to tread this line of creating quirky yet believable characters that creates the better laughs. It feels very much like Baumbach’s Greenberg in that sense.

And there are many other influences present; the biggest being Wes Anderson, right down to the sans serif fonts and use of bold, primary colours.

made his own additions to make one of the most darkly humorous British films of the past few years.

Just as the realm of indie films was starting to become stale, Submarine pulls it back with perfectly written characters, which are just as perfectly cast, a fantastic tale of love and loss and enough awkwardness to make Michael Cera shy away.

Chris Taylor

Verdict: Ayoade has essentially taken the indie film rule book and

feature

That’s all ancient history now...

Film historian Rollo Kirkman asks why films set in the past can’t also be historically accurate

When the curtain fell on this year’s Oscars in March, most people watching would likely have reflected on the results of The King’s Speech vs.

The Social Network. I, however, was thinking about something a little different. Because on Oscar night, it had been a decade of award ceremonies since Gladiator won five awards at the Oscars in 2001, including best film and best actor. Upon the release of Ridley Scott’s superb tale of betrayal and retaliation, it was hailed as the start of a new generation of Ancient Historical films. So how did that pan out?

The attractions of doing a film set in antiquity are obvious. You get to engage with a fascinating, wellrecorded period of history, which is paradoxically brutal and advanced.

You tend not to have to worry about offending religions, because most major world religions weren’t around at the time. You can film anywhere, give or take, and still get a flavour of Rome or Greece. And you can add elephants and no one bats an eyelid, which is always a plus. So it’s probably one of the best periods to write a historical film in, and one that should leave the best filmmakers straining at their leashes to write about.

But the first thing most people might say is that we’ve really gone nowhere since Gladiator. The total number of films set in this period in the last decade can pretty much be counted on a person’s fingers

if they’d lost two in a sword fight.

Alexander, Troy, 300, Centurion and arguably The Eagle, which recently debuted at the Glasgow Film Festival, and that’s pretty much it. Even if you add in TV series such as Rome, then you’re still looking at no more than a release a year. And while most of these have been entertaining to some degree, usually because of the fact they can get away with sex and violence because ‘it was a different time’, they haven’t exactly been deep. Nor have they won the critics over like Gladiator did. And I have a sneaking suspicion I know why.

Well, the first reason is obvious.

Most of the films mentioned tend to sacrifice plots for action, bloodshed, and the odd bit of full frontal nudity, playing to the teenage/young adult market with testosterone-fuelled machismo. And while this pays the bills, it tends not to go down so well with the critics, or the wider audience. We’ve seen that people of all ages want to see films like this, but most are turned off by the small core of frustrated fan-boys who these films cater to.

The second reason is that the major staple of the genre, the epic battle, has been done to death. We’ve seen what can be done with CGI, and it doesn’t matter how big it is, it’s not the game maker it used to be. If you have to do combat at all, make it small scale and relatable, something Gladiator did well In order to keep

an audience hooked, the paradoxically horrifying and glorifying view of war in the Ancient World has to be addressed, and done so on the level of the individuals who fight it, rather than a montage of flashy deaths.

The final, and most important, reason is that the genre hasn’t engaged with its best material; history itself.

Contrary to Hollywood’s view, antiquity has the greatest stories to tell, on both a human and a worldwide scale, and it doesn’t need modern stories being hammered into a vaguely Ancient mould.

Most of the films mentioned have deliberately chosen to base their stories on a very loose reading of history to say the least; often relying on near mythical ideas such as the Ninth Legion or the origins of King Arthur to give weight to their own particular brand of slaughter by claiming it’s possible, and ignoring the fact that reality is both more

authentic, but almost always more engrossing.

Now, I’m not calling for one hundred percent accuracy here, but it’d be nice to engage with historical figures in a historical context. It’s not as if it’s hard to find good plots or plot twists; they’re all written out by Livy, Plutarch, Virgil, and Homer.

The human political drama that plays out in the period between Marius’ war with Sulla, and the rise of Augustus is as twisting and engaging as Shakespeare or The Godfather, with deep, fascinating characters. And before Hollywood claims they’d all be dry and without flavour or fun, just remember that Caesar was renowned for being a serial adulterer of both sexes, that Cicero had the wit to match Churchill, and that the very political hierarchy of Rome encouraged a huge degree of illicit behaviour and conflict.

The difference is, these characters have so much more to them than

just that. And there’s several thousand years of history to find these people in, ranging from Athens to Carthage and from Egypt to India and Mesopotamia.

And, if Hollywood weakens and demands a war, try the Carthaginian War for scale and desperation, the Peloponnesian Wars in Greece for politics and betrayal, the Civil Wars in Rome for truly mesmerising characters, and the conquests of the Roman Empire if you still need ideas. All of these conflicts literally defined their ages, and each of them is worth ten Ninth Legion stories for emotional clout.

It’s been a decade since Gladiator, which, while excellent, wasn’t perfect. In that decade, the film industry has wasted a resource for stories like nothing else. Here’s to hoping we’re not having this conversation in ten years’ time.

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Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

Film

film feature

preview

How not to watch a film

The Smurfs Director: Raja Gosnell Cast: Hank Azaria, Katy Perry, Jonathan Winters

Ben Travis discusses the dos and don’ts of enjoying the cinematic experience

For many cinemagoers, they’re the bane of seeing a film on the big screen. Noisy popcorn bags, twitchyfingered teens texting and tweeting, screaming kids, over-priced food, and, particularly in recent months, THOSE terrible Orange ads.

Visiting your local multiplex can be an experience that’s often more traumatic than cinematic. Whether it’s a case of a disruptive audience, unhelpful staff or projection errors, it seems like far too many visits to the local cinema end with unfortunate incidents. Take, for instance, the time I saw Tarantino’s exceptional Inglourious Basterds at my local multiplex – during the first five minutes of the terrifically tense opening scene the projector was set to the wrong aspect ratio. Not only did every character look as stick-thin as Victoria Beckham, but the subtitles were cropped off at the bottom.

When the staff finally realised, no apology was made and the film was not restarted. Since then, subsequent

trips to that particular establishment have included dodgy sound and rattling air conditioning which rendered the screening an almost unbearable arctic fortress. In trying to cut down costs, there often seems to be a bare minimum amount of staff on the premises, with no proper projectionists and no-one keeping an eye on screenings to make sure everything’s running smoothly.

That said, in the current economic climate, it’s understandable to try and keep outgoing costs low, but is it really worth it at the expense of your customer’s satisfaction?

Worrying also is the increasing price of a cinema ticket, which has risen to a standard cost of about £7 outside London. It’s all very well when you can get a £5 student ticket, but once that luxury’s gone, it’s going to be ridiculously expensive to go and see the latest releases, particularly if they’re only released in money-grabbing 3D. Unsatisfactory experiences are not always the cine-

ETA: August 2011

Sit down and shut up: Cinemas should remain quiet when a film is in progress

ma’s fault however. More often than not, the worst part of visiting your big local chain is the rest of the audience. Has the cinema really become just a place to hang out that happens to have moving colours and shapes projected onto a screen in the background? It increasingly feels that way. Luckily, most encounters are during the 15 minutes-plus of adverts that seems to precede every big release nowadays. What I really can’t stand is talking while the film

is actually on. That and getting your phone out are the real big no-nos of cinema etiquette.

For all that’s bad about multiplexes however, they’re a necessary evil.

Don’t blame the local chain for showing Big Momma’s House 3, blame your peers for paying to see the previous Big Momma’s House films in the first place. I’m sure many cinema chains wish they could show interesting, thought-provoking films as opposed to the same old recycled tat.

feature

Entering the next dimension Chris Binding looks at the history and future of 3D cinema

In 1896, the French documentary Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat Station reportedly caused audiences to flee the theatre at the sight of speeding train on screen. Over a hundred years on, cinema still has the power to break the fourth wall and provide complete immersion in the story being told. This is evident in 3D technology, which has appeared repeatedly since 1950s experiments through the 1980s horror slashers, before re-surfacing for the success of James Cameron’s Avatar in 2009.

As 3D technology becomes more advanced and embraced by prominent directors, the question that remains is whether this technological new wave can change from a novelty to be implemented in tasteful ways, or whether the future of cinema will fade into obscurity as it has previously. Before Cameron revolutionised the medium, the traditional method was using stereoscopic 3D, which involves filming with two separate cameras to mimic human eyesight, with editing in postproduction producing images with fluctuating depth and perspective.

James Cameron used a similar advanced camera system to produce Avatar, working with 3D cameras over a period of 14 years to create

his desired effect. As Cameron waited for the technology to catch up before he released his work, many directors and studios preferred to use cheaper post-production 3D, which is less time-consuming but of poorer quality. For every beautifully rendered Pandora, there are equal gimmicks of items flying at you, with the recent Piranha 3D giving audiences the courtesy of a partially devoured penis floating towards their faces.

As opposed to filming in 3D the majority of releases use post–production conversion for purely financial reasons, with the typical conversion process costing just $500,000.

The future of cinema depends solely on the creative direction of industry professionals and with

Pixar studios, Spielberg and Cameron among those praising 3D, there is still hope for the future of mainstream cinema.

But as critic Robert Ebert stated, any director adding 3D to his movie ‘would be like a novelist choosing a distracting typeface’, suggesting that the technology is a gimmick of popcorn cinema and will always exist as pure-entertainment rather than an art-form. The future of cinema therefore depends on whether 3D can transcend its gimmicky origins but as acclaimed directors will often shun 3D for fear of artistic reprisal, the same notorious directors will continue to release visually furnished stinkers for years to come.

film five

Beth Kirk

Cinema misdemeanours 5) Rustling, crunching and slurping On the scale of severity of cinema misdemeanours, this comes relatively low simply because we’ve all done it. And don’t say you haven’t, because you have. Scurrying around in your packet for the last crisp bits, trying to grab a handful of popcorn or slurping the last of the ice in your extra-large drink. If you can’t reach it and need to make a sound to get it, it’s honestly not worth the effort.

You’ll just be disappointed.

4) Toilet breaks Alfred Hitchock once said that “the length of a film should be directly

related to the endurance of the human bladder”. OK, some films can go on for a while and a quick nip to the toilet is OK. But five times in one film? Throw a nappy on or something because it’s much better than having to get up and cause a scene every 10 minutes. Either that or just stick to a small Coke next time.

3) Arriving late and making a scene in the process It’s completely fine to arrive whilst the adverts or trailers are showing but it should be punishable to arrive late when the film has already started. If you missed it due to traffic or simply by accident, just wait for the

Everyone remembers The Smurfs.

They were a childhood institution for an entire generation and now they’re being revisited by Hollywood in a new feature film. The remake looks set to be another half CGI half live-action hybrid, and of course, it will all be in 3D. This remake has a lot to live up to though, and I can’t help but doubt that Hollywood will manage to fulfil everyone’s hopeful expectations.

The original was born out of the mind of German-born Peyo, and he can be accredited with the brilliant wackiness of the series. However this time J. David Stem and David N. Weiss are writing the screenplay, and they’re the men behind Daddy Day Camp (sequel to Daddy Day Care) and Are We There Yet? - though they do have their saving graces in the form of The Rugrats Movie (though it may just be me who liked that film). This makes the likelihood of The Smurfs keeping all of its original charm slim, but we can all hope, particularly since the idea of a wizard chasing a troop of tiny, blue, mushroom-dwelling people remains mad in itself.

The plot does follow this original line, with the Smurfs still running from the evil wizard, Gargamel (Azaria), but the twist is that this time they’re plunged into the real world, landing themselves in New York. The two lead ‘humans’ are played by Neil Harris and Jayma Mays, from How I Met Your Mother and Glee, respectively, and the Smurfs are voiced by an array of celebrities, from Alan Cumming to Katy Perry, with some fantastic touches such as Jonathan Winter, who plays Papa Smurf in this version but voiced Grandpa Smurf in the original series.

If the trailer is anything to go by at all, this will be a cheesy family adventure, following the bandwagon of rehashing classics to make an easy profit. This might just manage to capture some of the magic which enchanted us all those years ago, but The Smurfs seems to be geared more towards a new generation of children.

next screening. No-one wants to be interrupted from being engrossed in a film to let you find a seat and then get in the way as you take off your coat/bag/clinging child. Just wait.

2) Mobile phone usage There’s a reason why people tell you to switch off your mobile phones before a film. Nobody wants to hear your Rebecca Black ringtone or a text tone during a tense hostage scene. It’s things like that which pull you right out of the film and ruin the mood. Even just the light from the screen can be extremely distracting.

If it’s important, take it outside, and if it’s trivial, it can probably wait a

few hours at least.

1) Talking What is so important that you have to discuss it RIGHT NOW? This misdemeanour becomes even more annoying when it isn’t even directly related to the film. Try watching Inglorious Basterds while some guys a few rows back start talking about Final Fantasy at the top of their voices. It can wait. It can always wait.

People don’t want to pay however much to hear your voice for a few hours. If you want to talk about the film, nip to the pub afterwards OK? Chris Taylor

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

in cinemas

Film

film

Chalet Girl Director: Doug Liman Cast: Felicity Jones, Ed Westwick, Bill Nighy Runtime: 96 mins As the poster screams predictable teen rom-com, most will immediately shove Chalet Girl into an all too familiar bracket. The fish out of water storyline, combined with a dashing-yet-sensitive male lead amounts to practically every rom-com ever created, however there is something in this film which you can’t help but like.

Felicity Jones plays Kim, a promising young skateboarder who abandons her dreams after a family tragedy. Applying to work for a catering service, she is initially declined as her name doesn’t end with a ‘bella’ and she isn’t well-spoken enough.

Miraculously, she winds up working as a chalet girl in a luxury Al-

You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger Director: Woody Allen Cast: Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, Anthony Hopkins, Freida Pinto Runtime: 98 mins Woody Allen has had a fairly disappointing run of films in recent times, with the likes of Whatever Works and Cassandra’s Dream struggling to gain much traction with critics, even if they performed moderately well at the box office. But while it would be wrong to claim that this film is a return to the likes of Annie Hall, You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger is one of Allen’s more solid and engrossing pieces of work.

The film’s ensemble cast features Anthony Hopkins and Gemma Jones as Alfie and Helena, a couple whose relationship is on the rocks.

Anuvahood Director: Adam Deacon Cast: Adam Deacon, Femi Oyeniran Runtime: 89 mins

‘Safe blad, I’m on some next hype tings, you get me fam?’ If you do in fact ‘get me’ or are intrigued as to what has just happened then read on. Those of you who have seen films like Kidulthoodand and Adulthood will be familiar with this sort of London street lingo, for the rest of the population however, I’m afraid the film may as well be in Swedish.

Adam Deacon, who plays Kay (or Kenneth as he is more affectionately known by his parents), has his tongue firmly in his cheek with his directorial debut, made clear from the first scene in which Kay quits his job at ‘Laimsbury’s,’ and is clearly

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Culture

Film Editor: Adam Williams - courier.culture-film@ncl.ac.uk

pine chalet. Having looked after her bumbling and hopeless father (Bill Bailey), she is rather a dab hand in the kitchen and is forced into a ‘back office’ role whilst the other rather Jilly Cooper-esque chalet girl (Tamsin Egerton) works the ‘front of house’.

Whilst navigating from one faux pas to another, she begins to fall for the charming yet off-limits Johnny (Westwick), who provides the necessary eye-candy for a film of such a nature. Spending all her free time learning to snowboard, the film slaloms along nicely as she prepares to enter the biggest competition of the season, whilst still miserably attempting to cater for the unfamiliar demands of the family and their guests.

Jones really steals the show and it is easy to see why she has become the new rising star of British film.

Fresh-faced and understated, she is not only convincing but wins sympathy in an otherwise carefree plot without making it too gimmicky.

Bill Nighy and Brooke Shields relish in their roles, making light work of portraying the Beluga scoffing,

Dom Perignon swigging parents, who long for their son to marry the glamorous American socialite rather than mess around with an inferior chalet girl. Unashamedly clichéd and fiercely British, this comedy at times feels a little over-reaching and attempting to deal with the issues of loss, tragedy and failure seems strained in a film so focused around its romcom roots. Written by exNewcastle student Tom Williams, the screenplay is surprisingly witty

despite the smattering of slapstick comedy and constant jibes at the upper-class world of luxury skiing.

Heli-skiing and lavish extravagance aside however, Chalet Girl is surprisingly heart-warming, and what it lacks in depth it makes up for with buckets of charm.

Fed up with the mundanity of his marriage Alfie has a midlife crisis, buying a sports car, getting in shape and marrying an ‘actress’ half his age, played by the enlivening Lucy Punch. Helena’s misery turns to hope as she begins meeting with a clairvoyant, whose advice she begins to swear by. Meanwhile things are equally unstable in the lives of Helena’s daughter Sally (Watts) and her husband Roy (Brolin). While Sally toils in the day assisting her boss, a sophisticated art dealer played by Antonio Banderas, Roy works from home as a writer. Struggling to emulate his former success, Roy spends much of his time spying on and flirting with his attractive neighbour Dia (Pinto), a musicologist. Allen’s use of London in this film is very interesting. The film shuns any obvious use of the city’s famous landmarks, and also depicts a city seemingly devoid of crime, litter or bad weather; the only rain we see exists as an excuse for Brolin and Pinto to get close under an umbrella. Instead this is a London of book

shops, art galleries and sunny open spaces, perfect for picnics. Idealistic maybe, but it makes for an interesting backdrop to this tale. What really makes You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger is Allen’s choice of cast. The dynamic between Hopkins’ older male and Lucy Punch’s Essex golddigger is genuinely amusing, even if it is somewhat clichéd. The tension between devoutly scientific Roy and the deeply spiritualistic Helena also provides a good smattering of

laughs. Watts is impressive in another demonstration of how malleable she can be as a performer, whilst further credit should be given to Pauline Collins as Helena’s fortune teller Cristal. Although the laughs are there the film remains quite cynical and dark; there is a definite feel of black comedy to You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger.

parodying films such as the aforementioned ‘hoods’ in which Deacon played a substantial part. Anuvahood follows our hero Kay through the trials and tribulations of growing up as a struggling MC on a London council estate, plagued by the local thieving bully, Tyrone, and by his parents who are in turn plagued by the bailiffs.

Throw in copious amounts of marijuana and a young Spaniard adopted into Kay’s crew of misfits who serves no obvious function in advancing the plot and there’s your film. Anuvahood works within the confines of strong class, race and gender stereotypes and at all times in the film it seems like someone is shouting at somebody else, usually in the foreign dialect of the opening line. Deacon offers us a pleasant and light hearted affair, showcasing his talent for writing, acting and directing; impressive considering he’s only 28-years-old.

The film has some well-crafted scenes and the use of a roaming camera is ingenious at times. Deacon is

a seasoned veteran when it comes to urban flicks such as this and has his role down to a tee; the supporting cast, however, seem relatively weak in comparison, with the acting seeming a bit wooden at times, although I suppose this is the inevitable result of playing over the top caricatures; they lack credibility.

Despite its flaws, and there are several, Anuvahood remains enjoyable and has some genuinely funny moments. Unfortunately, one the

best comes half way through the end credits and features none of the recognisable characters from the film. For fans of the British hiphop/grime scene, the film is probably worth seeing for the soundtrack alone with Tinie Tempah, Dizzee Rascal and the talented Mr Deacon himself all getting airplay.

tured in its aim, a charming performance from Felicity Jones and down to earth, heartfelt humour saves Chalet Girl from being a romcom flop.

Georgia Snow

Verdict: There are plenty of fun and frolics here, particularly for teenage girls swooning over Ed Westwick. If at times a little frac-

genre, You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger deals more with a feeling of cynicism than uplifting humour.

But with a strong and adept cast, amusing dialogue and curious setting, this is one of Allen’s better films of recent times.

Jack Torrance

Verdict: In a significant contrast to many films of the romantic comedy

Verdict: Anuvahood boils down to what is a fairly standard coming of age comedy/drama. The element

of humour adds a refreshing dimension to the street urchin genre, although, on the whole, the film is let down by weak acting and an unadventurous script. You get me?

Matt Blackwell

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Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

Culture Music

music feature

feature

Fans, Fame, Fortune and Status Josh Turner-Mendis chats to drum and bass pioneers Chase and Status about their musical heros and controversial videos Waiting for a call from one of the biggest names on the electro scene at the moment is a weird experience. Sure I was excited; I had liked these guys since their single ‘Pieces’ was all over the clubs and festivals a couple of years ago. But 2011 had marked a turning point for these two talented London producers and Chase and Status were now officially household names – they’re much bigger stars these days, and that’s a bit daunting.

But when Saul ‘Chase’ Milton called for a chat the other day (minus his counterpart Will ‘Status’ Kennard), he immediately made me smile by asking if he could eat a sandwich during the interview – of course he can, it’s Chase and Status, who am I to say no? Since their debut album More Than A Lot in 2008, Chase and Status have been in great demand, producing for artists from Plan B to Rihanna. Now that they’ve got back to making their own music again, they’re better than ever.

Their new album No More Idols, released with record label giants Mercury, boasts a pick ‘n’ mix of genres ranging from grime, dubstep and drum ‘n’ bass, to hip-hop and indie rock. Such an eclectic mix couldn’t fail to be a chart success: the album shot straight to number 2 in the UK charts, and without complaints of ‘selling out’ from their loyal fan base.

This may be because C&S have done it on their own terms; they’ve forged a bridge between the niche clubnight and the radio chartshow, and all because they wanted to “make it interesting for ourselves, and do different things,” as Saul puts it. The DJs, who met at university in Manchester through their mutual love of drum ‘n’ bass, have “always liked to write a wide variety of types of

music”, and their latest creation has taken their career from DJing dives to being big-time producers. “To be honest, the album was just a natural progression for us,” Saul insists.

Despite their international success working with artists such as Jay-Z and Pharrell, Chase and Status are still true to their roots: “We’re keeping [the album] really British” – it’s fused together with UK collaborators such as Dizzee Rascal and White Lies. They’ve also launched careers for up-and-coming artists such as Plan B, who features on both their albums, and newcomer Delilah. “We heard one song and knew we had to work with her,” Saul said of the breathy vocalist who doesn’t sound dissimilar to Ellie Goulding, another artist they are keen to work with.

The catchy, mish-mash sound of their new album is a result of an impressive range of musical influences. “There’s so much great music from the past and the present – I could waffle on for a long time!”

But Saul was quick to give love for artists such as the Prodigy, Joy Division, Andy C, Shy FX and the Black Keys.

Chase and Status stand out in other ways too; their often bold and controversial music videos certainly make a statement. The video to ‘Let You Go’ alludes to the hypocritical lifestyle of the host of our favourite daytime TV slanging match. The main character bears an uncanny likeness to Jeremy Kyle, although I’m sure it’s completely unintentional... I asked Saul how the video came into being: “We had a rough idea of what we wanted. We thought what if we have someone who’s telling everyone else they’re scum, but really, they’re scum.”

The ‘Blind Faith’ video also caused a stir on Youtube – you’ll only find a censored version up there now.

It’s a shame, as it showcases Chase and Status’ attention to the fine detail in all aspects of their work. This would explain why they got awardwinning director Daniel Wolfe to help them create the video that, for many, created nostalgia for those pill-fuelled, illegal warehouse raves

live

Elbow

Metro Arena, Wednesday 16 It wasn’t the most beautiful of eve-

nings, as we have to come expect from our fair city over recent weeks, but the charisma of Elbow shone through as they took to the stage.

Hypnotic front man, Guy Garvey, led the group in a set list of songs mainly from the Mercury-winning Seldom Seen Kid and the latest album, Build A Rocket Boys!, leaving out earlier material. But, despite the fame and praise bestowed upon Elbow, the band feel genuine and their love of music shows especially during a chummy version of ‘Weather To Fly’, with the whole band taking to the centre of the arena to play a stripped down version, arms over

shoulders. They engaged with the crowd, giving out cocktails, kisses and hugs where they could’ve simply played their songs, and it’s this that makes Elbow stand out as an arena band. They place the limelight on the audience rather than hogging it for themselves. Their songs are extremely anthemic, the likes of ‘One Day Like This’ and ‘Open Arms’, but they themselves seem very modest throughout.

As usual, Garvey’s voice swoops and soars like the starlings he sings about. It’s the voice of a man that’s been through a lot in his time. These emotions don’t feel faked and it’s Garvey’s lyrics, combined with the intricacies of the rest of the band, that truly make Elbow a band to see.

Chris Taylor

of the nineties. “He’s fantastically good,” is how Saul describes Wolfe, saying, “he’s such a stickler for detail, he wanted to keep it really authentic.” This may be why all the clothes, cameras and everything else had to be from 1991, “even the way the kids are smoking has to be like they were from 1991” Saul laughs.

Having proven they’re not scared of raising a few eyebrows, Chase and Status will continue to keep

dance music on its toes; constantly changing and packing a punch to our favourite genres. What’s more is that they are bringing their unique music to life in clubs all over the UK in the most energetic of fashions.

When asked if they were going to be playing at Newcastle any time soon the response was “hell yeah, you’ll see us again before the year’s out.” That will be a night not to be missed.

listings Monday 28 John Maus, Star and Shadow – 8pm - £6 An absolute bargain for an amazing gig in a wonderful venue. John Maus has had a colourful past playing the keyboard in Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti as well as playing with Panda Bear of Animal Collective. If this means nothing to you, to sum him up his music features drum machines, keyboard and synth providing a fantastical romantic sound.

Tuesday 29 North East Unsigned Act Grand Final, Cluny – 8pm – Free After months of battling it out, the Head of Steam’s contest to find the best emerging talent in the NorthEast is finally coming to its culmination. The winner will perform at Evolution Festival so its a change to see them before everyone else does.

Wednesday 30 Cult Status, WHQ 11-4pm A new club night from WHQ to add a bit more spice to Wednesday nights, which can often be a one choice night in Newcastle. Claims to have the ability to quench your thirst for something different offering dub, electro, hip-hop, grime and everything in between. Definitely seems a Wednesday night alternative that would be worth checking out, and WHQ never really lets you down anyway.

Thursday 31 NSR gig, Hyem To celebrate the final night of having an FM license, NSR are putting on a gig at Heaton’s Hyem. Plenty of local bands will be playing with the Acrobatic Society playing their first gig from their new line up. Also performing are Agerskow and therunningchelsea. Will definitely be a good night and a perfect opportunity to support our student radio.

Not scared to raise a few eyebrows, Chae and Status are known for their bold vidoes

Iron and Wine

The Sage, Wednesday 16 Iron and Wine have soared to the forefront of the modern folk scene since their huge success with their album The Shepherd’s Dog in 2007.

Lead singer Sam Beam, renowned for his gentle-yet-gripping vocals demonstrated exactly this when performing at the Sage. Arguably performing better live than on record one can only imagine the intensity of the band’s performance, and as a sit-down concert, the atmosphere couldn’t have been more suited.

Opening with ‘Rabbit Will Run’, from the acclaimed new album Kiss Each Other Clean, they started as they meant to go on. Highlights included a personal favourite, ‘White Tooth Man’ as well as ‘Boy With A

Coin’ and ‘Wolves’, all of which are refreshingly different from each other. Adjusting his voice to each song, Beam practically whispers “wolves”, letting the instruments do the talking. Just as much as the instruments take centre stage, so does Beam’s voice alone without the accompaniment of music, just in case the audience didn’t trust the real beauty of his voice. From an audience’s perspective, it wasn’t only the delicacy of the bands’ performance but the demeanor of Beam himself that established the attraction and enjoyment. An understated and modest introduction and farewell seemed appropriate to the overall ambience of the evening and I would certainly encourage everyone to catch them in concert some time throughout their tour.

Bonnie Stuart

Friday 1 Classic Rock Legends: A Tribute to Classic Rock, Academy 2 – 6.30pm - £12 As the name suggests this is a tribute to classic rock, featuring to the untrained eye a stellar line up. Twin Lizzy, Damage Inc, Beast, and Sabbatica will all be lining the stage performing tribute acts to the rock legends they represent.

Saturday April 2 - Ouseburn Unplugged – Little Comets, Cluny – 7.30pm - £10 One in a series of events in the Ouseburn unplugged series which feature an amazing line up of acoustic sets including performances from Sam Duckworth, Aaron Wright, and David Mcalmont. This particular night will feature beautiful sets from Little Comets, Chased by Wolves, Motion Tourist, and Black Sun. Sunday April 3 - Katy Perry, Metro Radio Arena – 7.30pm - £20-£200 An artist that probably doesn’t need much explaining, hate her or love her she will undoubtedly put on a show. Be prepared to mix with lots of screaming teenagers and pay the price if you want a good seat. However this is not an acoustic gig down the pub and will be a live extravaganza that won’t hold back.

Olivia Mason

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

music

Music

31

Culture

Music Editor: Polly Randall & Joe Skrebels - courier.culture-music@ncl.ac.uk

Evolution 2011

This week’s festival is, conveniently, just down the road for most of us. Evolution has, for four years, brought spectacular musical talent to the banks of the Tyne and this year looks to be no exception - with the likes of Iggy and the Stooges, Tinie Tempah and Caribou making an appearance, there’s something for everyone. So, to mark our hometown festival, we’ve previewed both days and the free mini-festival for local talent, Evolution Emerging.

Sunday The Sunday line-up for this year’s Evolution is, even by the festival’s usual standard, a real smorgasbord of sounds, styles, tastes and yes, even smells. Let’s lead you through the second day of the festival then…

The main stage at Spillers Wharf is, it must be said, very chart-tastic on the Sunday. Where the previous day will have seen Iggy & The Stooges getting all in your face like a mad woman’s crap, it’s a slightly saner day in store today. Not to say it will be lacking in energy. Headliner Plan B has achieved great commercial success with his surprise shift from Mike Skinner/Jamie T-esque whiteboy rapping to blue-eyed soul crooning on last year’s The Defamation of Strickland Banks, so his closing set is bound to draw a massive crowd.

Just before him, British hip-hop megastars Tinie Tempah and Example kick off the dance/rap flavour – you can expect Tempah especially to be a massive draw, so make sure you get down early if you want to get a good spot. Lower down, local boys Detroit Social Club take to the stage to bring some lad-rock to the proceedings, while quirky indie songwriter Darwin Deez and funk ambassadors The Cuban Brothers look set to kick off the fun earlier in the day.

Over at the calmer retreat of Ballast Hills, there’s some gentle delights on offer. The much loved, seemingly ever-expanding folk ensemble Bellowhead headline (worth seeing just to see if they can fit them all on stage, if nothing else), but the real treat must be Scottish songwriter James Yorkston, a member of the Fence Collective whose delicate folk musings are one of the line-up’s great bounties.

It’s the dance stage at Baltic Square that’s the main place to be on Sunday though. Wax:On often pull in a variety of names to the stage, but this year is a superb piece of billing.

With sets from drum’n’bass whizzkid Zinc, post-dubstep icons Mount Kimbie, former Radio 1 DJ and dubstep ambassador Annie Mac and a headlining slot from the mighty Caribou (performing as a full band), it’s a day that spans the different strands of current dance music superbly that also brings some acts to the Quayside that might not normally make it to the North East (Caribou in particular stand as a real coup, having last played the region at a Sunderland gig in 2007). Come rain or shine, Baltic Square is going to be one hell of a party this year.

Saturday

As Evolution has grown from the free overcrowded charity event of 2007 some now huge names have passed through its ranks. Despite this, they’ve failed to bring an artist of universal stature to Spillars Wharf. This is all set to change on Saturday 26th May as Iggy (Pop) & The Stooges headline. It’s an admittedly curious coup for a festival traditionally dominated by youth pop culture and is testament to Evolution’s ambition to cement itself as the first major U.K. festival of the year. A contrasting demographic against Sunday’s Plan B and Tinie Tempah is in the financial interests of the organisers, with two day tickets collecting £50 as opposed to a weekend ticket for £35. Subbing to the iconic pension-rocker is indierock band Two Door Cinema Club, who have discreetly garnered a

huge fan base in the past 12 months after relentless touring. The band’s set will follow their already-sold out headline show at Brixton Academy; a huge achievement for any band.

The more traditional younger demographic have the option of Katy B headlining the Baltic Square stage.

The remaining acts on the bill however, strike as financial compromises for Iggy’s booking fee. Playing below Two Door Cinema Club is American rock band The Kills, who return promoting their fourth studio album. The Kills are the day job of The Dead Weather’s Allison Mosshart, the current project of Jack White. Hotly-tipped Brother also return to Newcastle following their supporting slot this month with The Streets and are likely to be the latest future big name to play Evolution, following in the wake of White Lies,

Duffy, Crystal Castles and Dizzee Rascal. Evolution has become recognised as an ideal stage for upcoming acts to take to a large stage and 2011 looks set to continue the trend.

Other hotly tipped artists include Flashguns, Newcastle’s very own Mammal Club and Jamie Woon.

Fans of Iggy & The Stooges may or may not find something for them in the Saturday’s mixed bag of a line up. For £25 including a rare Iggy & The Stooges show, there is little reason not to purchase a ticket.

Whether Evolution can establish itself as anything more reputable than its current pop-dominated college weekender remains to be seen, but it’s a step in the right direction for Evolution.

in Daisy Finetto. With an impressive launch of their debut single ‘Follow Me Home’ at the Cluny the other week, they’re certainly ones to keep an eye on and to try and catch on the day.

Fans of Everything Everything should make a point to see Tomahawks for Targets at the Cumberland Arms early in the evening.

Featuring ex-Yourcodenameis:milo member Ross Harley, strong comparisons can be seen to Everything Everything’s joyously mind-scrambling mix of indie, pop, funk and art, but they’re still a promising prospect in their own right, and well worth seeking out on the day.

At the Cluny, indie-dance threepiece Polarsets will no doubt be playing to a crowd of tapping feet and wiggling hips (or, more likely, loads of pissed lads who still think they can dance credibly after several

pints), in one of the more unmissable sets of the day. They’re one of the region’s biggest bands, and the chance to see their highly energetic live show for free isn’t one that should be passed up. Folk-tinged anthemic bar-rockers Coaltrain headline at the Cumberland Arms. A good bet for fans of the likes of The Decemberists, they’ve recently supported the likes of Maps & Atlases, and have a dedicated local following.

If all that isn’t enough to tickle your fancy, the Star and Shadow Cinema is also hosting Evolution Emerging’s official afterparty, featuring various DJ sets including Whip Your Hair, Kingsley Chapman, and, the somewhat oddly named Fist’n’Poon.

It’s great to see that although Evolution may be becoming a bigger name on the UK festival map each year, the Emerging event shows that it’s certainly not forgetting its roots.

So before you head off on the Saturday and Sunday in giddy excitement to ‘Pass Out’ to Tinie Tempah, go ‘…On A Mission’ to find Katy B, or wait for Example to ‘Kickstart’ things be sure on Friday May 27th to take the chance to check out what Newcastle’s music scene has to offer – I think you’ll all be mightily impressed.

Stuart Edwards

Mark Corcoran-Lettice

Evolution Emerging As the years go by and Newcastle’s Evolution festival expands, it is becoming ever more apparent that the real highlight of the local music festival is actually Evolution Emerging, a platform for the best local bands to play some of the city’s greatest venues.

Whilst the main event gets further and further away from what it once set out to be, getting more commercial but less exciting names and charging increasingly high prices for it, the Evolution Emerging line-up improves every time, and remains absolutely free.

This year’s edition, on the 27th May, sees six venues and bars across the Ouseburn valley, including the Cumberland Arms, The Cluny and the Star and Shadow Cinema, hosting twenty seven acts over the evening. It’s one of the biggest and best evenings for the local music

scene, allowing Newcastle to showcase the quality and diversity it has to offer.

Though the stage times have this year been staggered to hopefully allow for less set time clashes than ever before, the main difficulty of the evening is deciding who to see.

Opening at the Star and Shadow Cinema are the frankly brilliant Shift-Static, who create beautiful, epic electronic soundscapes, full of shuddering, fragmented beats and gorgeous female vocals. It’s a fantastic live act that should appeal to fans of Radiohead’s more experimental electronic work.

Making a rising impression on the local scene is Mausi, who can be seen playing the wonderful Cluny2.

Newcastle’s answer to Sky Larkin, they play shining, melodic pop-rock with ridiculously catchy melodies, and have a captivating front woman

Ben Travis Evolution is on Saturday 28th and Sunday 29th May. Day tickets are £25 and weekend tickets are £35 (plus booking fee).

Evolution Emerging is on Friday 27th May and is free at all six venues. evolutionfestival.co.uk

32

Culture

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

Music

albums

music

top 5

Alex Turner Submarine OST

Film soundtracks. For so long the domain of renowned conductors and orchestras, seem to have suddenly become fashionable again for artists of a rather more mainstream direction. From Trent Reznor’s Oscar success for his score for The Social Network, to Jonny Greenwood, of Radiohead fame, scoring new film Norwegian Wood, popular artists are increasingly playing their hand at soundtracking films. Yet Alex Turner, who has rarely hidden his objection to the pretension of certain modern musicians, was probably not a man many would have expected to have followed the trend.

However this album, Turner’s first official work as a solo artist, is a perfect demonstration of his ability to defy expectations. Submarine, directed by long-standing collaborator Richard Ayoade (of IT Crowd fame), is the story of 15-year-old Oliver Tate, a young man on a mission to discover himself whilst desperately trying to lose his virginity and keep his parents together. In providing the soundtrack for this story, Turner adopts a far more gen-

Burial/Four Tet/Thom Yorke – Ego New Single tle and introspective approach than his previous work, with the majority of songs relying on the tender melodies of acoustic guitars and piano and a more delicate vocal delivery.

‘Hiding Tonight’ sees Turner crooning over a simple acoustic melody and bears resemblance to the work of fellow Sheffield songwriter Richard Hawley, whilst ‘It’s Hard to Get Around the Wind’, perhaps the greatest departure from his previous work with its elegant finger picked guitar, is arguably the most beautiful music he has written yet. ‘Stuck on the Puzzle’ picks up the tempo and is the best example of Turner’s unique lyrical ability which here, although far from his kitchen sink origins with the Arctic Monkeys, remain as equally thought-provoking and suits perfectly the adolescent worries and experiences of the film.

This collection of songs won’t suit all of the fans of Turner’s previous work yet it remains an impressive demonstration of his musical ability and a perfect example of how a good soundtrack can define a film.

Jack Kidder

Currently speeding around the internet, the surprise release of the latest Burial/ Four Tet collaboration became an even bigger story once it became clear that the Radiohead frontman had lent his vocal talents to the proceedings. Of the two tracks, ‘Ego’ sounds the strongest, mixing Burial’s garage beats, Four Tet’s knack for melody and Yorke’s bruised falsetto to dizzying effect.

Panda Bear – Surfer’s Hymn New Single The latest single to be taken from Panda Bear’s forthcoming Tomboy album (the follow-up to 2007’s much loved Person Pitch); from the title onwards it’s one of his biggest Beach Boys homages to date, but with those swooning electronics, it’s still something only Panda Bear could conjure up.

Fever Ray – The Wolf New Single

Josh T. Pearson

Last of the Country Gentlemen

Asobi Seksu Fluorescence Before I’d listened to this album, the only Asobi Seksu songs I’d heard were the ones my dad would occasionally berate me with, and the odd ones that would pop up on Skins.

They’ve been around since 2004, but until now I hadn’t taken a real interest in their music. With deadlines looming and two full days in the library ahead of me, I popped the album on in the hope it’d spur me on to finish a mammoth essay in just a few hours. Alas, it did not, but Fluorescence is the most appealing album I’ve listened to in a while; and a refreshing break from the repetitive stuff you hear in the charts.

Tracks like ‘Sighs’ and ‘Counterglow’ proved to be personal favour-

ites (a little on the bassy side), but I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re a fan of vocal heavy tracks. Yuki Chikadate’s vocals are excellent but disappointingly sparse. If you’re a loyal Asobi Seksu fan, you won’t be displeased with this album, and the same can be said for prospective fans as well. The album’s an easy listen, and not a million miles away from stuff like The xx and Temper Trap.

There’s a really ethereal feel to the album, and you can hear the influence of the shoegaze genre in songs as well as the dreamy pop of artists like Beach House. Although there’s a lot of reliance on effects and multiple instruments, it’s the perfect album to accompany a Sunday afternoon, a good stretch of revision or a lengthy drive home.

Lucy Johnson

What do you want from an album in 2011? Something you can just flick through on iTunes, picking through the tracks at random as some background noise? Ladies, gentlemen: if this is what you want, then move onto the next article.

In many ways, there are few albums more out of step with 2011 than Josh T Pearson’s solo debut.

Having fronted the much-missed psychedelic rockers Lift to Experience (whose solo album, 2001’s double-disc epic The Texas-Jerusalem Crossroads, has become something of a cult classic), Pearson vanished from the music scene after their demise. But after a long time in the wilderness, punctuated only by rare solo tours, the mystery man has reappeared with Last Of The Country Gentlemen. And in all truth, it might take another decade to wrap your heads around this one.

Break it down, and you’ve got seven tracks in just under an hour, two of which are only brief introductions and codas, four of which break the ten-minute mark: shuffle-

friendly this ain’t. With almost no backing save for some rare, minimal strings, it’s a journey into the heart of darkness with Pearson’s intricate acoustic guitar lines and his plaintive, hushed voice.

Lyrically, Pearson flirts with the elementals of rock and country music – whisky, women and Jesus Christ – but with a candour and dark humour quite unlike anyone else out there. On sprawling epics like the superbly named ‘Honeymoon’s Great! Wish You Were Her’, Pearson twists and subverts musical cliché into fresh shapes, speaking of love, heartbreak, faith, blasphemy and depression with a passion and nuance that puts him in a league of his own.

An hour of bleak, unadorned acoustic alt-country balladeering is not an easy sell. But when has great art ever pandered to attention defecits? Last Of The Country Gentlemen already stands as the work of a master – let’s just hope we don’t have to wait so long for his next opus.

Mark Corcoran-Lettice

Kurt Vile Smoke Ring For My Halo

and he maintains a recognisable voice throughout all of his music, telling stories with his songs, and is very low key and conservative in his playing. This does create nice music to relax to with the fingerpicking of ‘Baby’s Arms’ through to the gentle climax of ‘Ghost Town’ and he certainly has a nice technique and style with his lyrics and vocals. But Vile just lacks that something special and listening to the album does not inspire you to listen more, nor stimulates any feelings, his songs are merely there.

Over critical this may be, but melancholy is not really my thing and Vile stays in the confined boundaries of this genre, never straying into excitement. Smoke Ring for my Halo certainly won’t spark any hatred but then maybe that’s the problem.

I must admit I am slightly sceptical of the genre of soft rock, I don’t quite understand where it is coming from or who its market is. Kurt Vile’s latest album only reconfirms my feelings - although heartfelt and mellow, it almost tries too hard to achieve this.

Smoke Ring for my Halo is the latest offering from the reasonably well established rock singer (whose fans include Sonic Youth and Animal Collective), adding some more melancholy musing to the genre of soft rock. For anyone that enjoys light rock, Vile is worth a listen and has been likened to Bruce Springsteen, Bob Seger and Tom Petty. Smoke Ring for my Halo is his third studio album

Olivia Mason

Taken from the soundtrack of the forthcoming Red Riding Hood, this new track from Karin Dreijer Andersson is perhaps her most sinister offering yet, ominous guitar drones responded to with wild howls and quasi-industrial beats. Don’t listen with the lights off.

Joy O – Wade In New Single For his latest 12”, Joy Orbison has shrunk his name and taken a more overtly house direction – and in doing so, crafted perhaps his greatest dancefloor catalyst since the track that brought him to prominence, ‘Hyph Mngo’.

The National – Think You Can Wait New Single Ahead of some major festival appearances this summer, The National keep up the High Violet momentum with this slow-burning newie, recorded for the film Win Win. A piano-led track dominated by Matt Berninger’s soft croon, it’s another piece of elegant beauty from the band.

Mark Corcoran-Lettice

The Courier Online For exclusive reviews of album releases and live gigs from around the city, as well as Spotify Playlists, head to the music section of The Courier website: thecourieronline.co.uk/music

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

33

TV & Radio Culture

tv & radio

tv highlight

TV & Radio Editors: Lynsey Fawcett & Ellie Wilson - courier.culture-tv@ncl.ac.uk

soaps

So You Think You Can Dance

Coronation Street

Cat Deeley is back to present the second series of BBC1’s popular dancing talent search.

Saturday 7.10pm, BBC1 Following hot on the heels of Dancing on Ice, Sky’s Got to Dance, and not to mention the BBC’s very own Strictly Come Dancing, this latest dance reality show returns for a second series. Dance shows are all the rage right now, and have helped to launch the TV careers of many celebrities, most recently seen with Louie Spence and his Pineapple Dance Studios programme.

Hosted by Cat Deeley, this search for the UK’s favourite dancer takes us through the auditions process before a series of live shows, where each of the final top 20 are taught to perform a new routine by world-renowned choreographers. The winner not only receives prize money, but also gets the chance to dance in Hollywood on the popular US version of the show.

Nigel Lythgoe, who is perhaps most well-known in this country as ‘Nasty Nigel’ from the original reality show Popstars: The Rivals, takes up the position of head judge alongside former singer Louise Redknapp, choreographer Arlene Phillips and dancer Sisco Gomez. Charlie Bruce, the winner of the first series which aired in the UK last January, is now performing in the West End in Dirty Dancing.

The talented competitors vary

tv previews

Glory Daze Thursday 9pm, E4

Mon, Thurs, Fri on ITV1 In a bid to reclaim back the Rovers, Liz enlists the help of an old friend and Sally is determined to get her half of Kevin’s winnings.

When Kylie and David’s wedding plans get out of control, Gail plants seeds of doubt in his mind. Tommy causes a stir as the new Duckworth on the street and immedatieley tries to charm his way into Tina’s affections.

Eastenders

Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri on BBC1 Ronnie and Michael clash this week as he demands to know why she doesn’t like him, leading Ronnie to make a decision.

Tanya and Syed make a decision about their future while Jean suprises Kat by coming back to stay at The Vic. Carol tries to make it up to Dot but it does not go to plan and later they clash over Dot’s care.

Emmerdale Star Search: The judges of So You Think You Can Dance are back to weed out the truly talented dancers in the show’s second series

from hip-hop, Latin, contemporary, commercial, jazz and any number of free-style moves in a bid to win over the judges. All those who reach the live shows will be taken completely out of their comfort zone as they are challenged to learn routines outside their chosen style- for example a ballet dancer could have to learn a hiphop routine.

The series has been a huge success in the US, where it has run for seven

series and acted as a platform for Cat Deeley to launch a career Stateside. Despite the judges’ comments, it is the viewers who ultimately choose their favourites, with two contestants leaving each week (one man and one woman). In the results programme, all the dancers get the chance to showcase their skills in a weekly group performance.

The show is different from Strictly Come Dancing and Dancing on Ice in

that it encourages all kinds of dancer, and isn’t specifically ballroom or contemporary. It is also a reality show which does not rely on Z-list celebrities making fools of themselves.

It is a sincere and genuine talent contest featuring unknown dancers looking to realise their ambitions and achieve that first big break.

Face of Britain Thursday 1.05am, C4

Place In The Sun: Home or Away Friday 8pm, C4

Goldie’s Band - By Royal Appointment Saturday 9pm, BBC 2

Simon Howard

Weekdays 7pm on ITV Kelly drops a bombshell on Jimmy, leaving him worried about telling Nicola the truth. Alicia is determined to give Jacob a birthday he won’t forget, but turns to desperate measures to ensure it happens. Debbie has an interesting proposition for Cameron and Chas and Diane raise a toast as they head into partnership together.

Hollyoaks

Weekdays 6.30pm on C4 The first day of Gilly’s trial begins and Jacqui’s testimony is shaken to the core when she is confronted by a past event.

Tom unintentionally drops Gilly in it and Rhys is torn between his best friend and girlfriend as he wonders who is lying. Ste and Noah have a great night out together and Cindy makes Tony’s life hell.

Neighbours

Glory Daze runs over ten episodes and is in a similar vein to American Pie; like Saving Private Ryan is to Band of Brothers, except with more prophylactics and cannabis.

The series follows four boys as they start college in America and join a fraternity. They all hail from different backgrounds, from the talented baseball pitcher to the gentle Christian, but the four of them bond and join the ‘Omega Sigma’ fraternity.

The next instalment is the fourth of the season, so catch up with the others on 4od. Special mention should go to a certain drinking contraption known as ‘The Beast’ which I implore the new Union President to invest in for next year.

This week’s episode sees the boys’ dads come to observe their sons progress, with some entering into the university spirit more than others, so tune in. Lots of beer, pretty girls and immature humour. What’s not to like?

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and thought you looked like a Viking? Or looked at your friend and decided they had similarities to a Saxon? Well in this new series Neil Oliver will be using the latest science to find out who our ancestors are and whether the Face of Britain reflect the nations most ancient tribes.

The first show focuses on Celts and attempts to determine whether they left any genetic clues behind. When the ancient hunter gathers appeared in Britain after the last Ice Age they were located in Devon/Cornwall.

Neil tries to discover if people living in these areas have different genes to the rest of us.

In order to help him find the answer to his questions, experts recreate the face of an ancient Celt and compare it to the face of a modern day person, which produces some fascinating results. Screened at an unsociable hour, catch it on 4od!

This new series returns to Channel 4 for a ten week run, where each week the two presenters help prospective buyers decide whether to move abroad or stay in the UK. The British weather is enough to make anyone want to escape to a warmer climate, yet most of us aren’t brave enough to take the plunge.

This show follows those that are seriously considering buying a property abroad. The couples making the decision aren’t alone in the process; they have the presenters Jasmine Harman and Jonnie Irwin to help them come to a decision.

The first episode follows Jayne and Hendrik who are desperate to get out of their rented house and buy their own property. They have just been made redundant and are contemplating whether to move to Italy or stay in the UK. It is a difficult decision but with pasta, pizza and good weather I know where I would choose.

A new search begins this week as Goldie, a DJ and former BBC Two Maestro finalist, sets out to discover young people, who have overcome difficult, personal circumstances for the chance to succeed with their musical talents.

The first episode shows Goldie and the other mentors travelling across the country in order to meet the hopefuls. After a lengthy shortlisting process, 12 lucky musicians will be chosen to make up the band.

Over the course of this three-part series, the chosen young musicians will be trained and taught in demanding master classes by some of the most successful people in the business, including composer Guy Chambers, singer Ms Dynamite, jazz artist Soweto Kinch, and singer/songwriter Cerys Matthews. The final episode will see the band performing at Buckingham Palace in front of guest of honour Prince Harry; this is a show not to be missed.

Tom Belcher

Rosie Daly

Rosie Daly

Samantha Brooks

Weekdays 1.45pm & 5.30pm on Five Rebecca continues with her plot to manipulate Paul, leading him to finally sign the statement. Tash notices a growing friendship between Summer and Zeke and spreads a malicious rumour about them, in order to turn Andrew against Summer.

Lucas jeopardises the chance to save his friend Billy from arrest, leaving Brennan furious. But will Kate blow their cover when she goes snooping around the garage?

Home and Away

Weekdays 2.15pm & 6pm on Five Casey represents the school at a science competition after making a deal with Xavier. Colleen is in two minds about attending the victims of crime meeting, but relaxes when Morag agrees to go with her and once she is there she has a great time, especially when she meets Keith.

Ruby resents Charlie for trying to control her life and joins Xavier and Casey on a joyride, while Nicola goes on a date to get on with her life.

Lynsey Fawcett TV & Radio Editor

34

Culture

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

TV & Radio

tv & radio nsr

radio highlights

“Seal Screaming Like A Man” Uploaded by: sarafaheymusic

NSR is now in its second week of FM broadcast, you can tune in at 87.7FM, as well as listening online at nsrlive.co.uk. With our extended schedule, there are now a host of new breakfast shows to kick start your day from 7-9am every morning.

Monday brings you “Busy Doing Nothing” for a theme-based show that scatters tracks from across the decades with clips from interviews with bands and wanderlust by way of the ‘Tropical Island’ feature Tuesday sees deputy station manager Kirsty Graham start the day.

Expect a heady mix of danceable tracks and the latest releases from Newcastle bands and Wednesday provides a welcome return from NSR’s old station manager Christian Allen, with his alternative take on breakfast.

Thursday’s breakfast slot is brought to you by Cathryn Yeates and Samantha Gray, with their dynamic banter and energetic tunes.

The week is rounded off by Rob Sellars, with an upbeat selection of indie and electro.

To celebrate our fortnight of being NSR 87.7FM we are having a gig at Hyem on Chillingham Road in Heaton on the 31st March. Doors are at 7pm and entrance will be no more than the cost of a pint with all funds going towards NSR. We have a strong line up of local and student bands. Excitingly we are the first promoters to put on the new line up of The Acrobatic Society, (http://www.myspace.com/ acrobaticsociety), with their distinctive blend of melodramatic folk and roots. Joining them will be therunningchelsea (http://www.myspace. com/therunningchelsea).

NSR will be back on Tues 3rd May until Friday 13th May, but podcasts of all our shows are available from mixcloud.com/nsr and soundcloud. com/nsr

Miranda and Jon Holmes Monday-Wednesday 8pm BBC Radio 2

The Original Playboy Tuesday 11.30am BBC Radio 4

This new show promises to be highly entertaining. Miranda Hart is best known for her self-titled BBC2 sitcom, of which her slapstick style of comedy writing and acting won her a hat-trick of British Comedy Awards. Miranda isn’t a stranger to radio either: her comedy series Miranda Hart’s Joke Shop was shaped by her semi-autobiographical writing and it proved to be a platform for her subsequent success.

Jon mightn’t be as well-known as Miranda, but his CV is just as amazing. With half a dozen Gold Sony Radio awards under his belt Jon has co-written many shows, including Radio 4 impression show Dead Ringers, while his TV experience includes writing for Mock the Week.

Occupying the now vacant slot of 8-10pm, Miranda and Jon are live each night filling the airways with a mix of banter, amazing music, special guests, and games for the audience to get involved with. Miranda says: “I am full of childish excitement to have the honour of joining the wonderful, and my favourite, Radio 2, for a few nights.”

With two of the wittiest comedic minds in the entertainment industry, this show is not to be missed.

The name Hugh Hefner naturally goes hand in hand with connotations of busty blondes and bunny ears. But is that all there really is to the founder of Playboy magazine? Is there more to the man than being the ‘original playboy’ (as well as probably the most envied octogenarian in the world), and is Playboy more than just another seedy top shelf mag?

Former Loaded editor James Brown shines new light on the ‘original playboy’, as he examines Heffner’s contribution to cultural and social change through the publication of Playboy magazine.

The Original Playboy traces the story of Playboy magazine from its founding in 1953, by the young philosophy graduate with nothing but a $600 loan and some naked pictures of Marilyn Monroe. Leading on to its astonishing success, selling over seven million copies each month.This radio programme not only traces the magazine’s success, it also highlights Playboy’s cultural and social significance.

The show sheds new light on the man behind the magazine, and it provides a new perspective on how Hefner presented a lifestyle and simultaneously created an empire.

Louise Morris Station Manager

Adam Rummens

Marianne Spence

questionable places and the hard work and dedication of the nursing staff who are really put to the test as they try and help all the patients that walk through the doors – all in a day’s work for the junior doctors it seems.

The seven doctors consist of Adam Beaini, Jon Barclay, Katherine Conroy, Keir Shiels, Suzi Batchelor, Andy Kong and Lucy Holmes who all live together in a rather plush house complete with its own snooker table, which I must admit I am rather jealous of!

re-adjust to their new surroundings of being an F1 doctor, with some making the move more easily than others.

Over the series we have had the opportunity of seeing first-hand how doctors respond in a crisis; from diagnosing patients to managing their treatment, balancing their work and home lives, and really see what goes on behind the scenes in a hospital.

However, we have also witnessed the lows of ‘doctoring’; seeing how doctors cope with telling their patients that their condition is terminal and the stress of unsociable and long hours.

As it nears the end, I must admit I have really enjoyed every episode, the highs and the lows, and will certainly miss this bunch of junior doctors.

Refreshing and real, it is something that I would recommend to all who are interested in a career in medicine or healthcare as it does give an invaluable view into what a life as a doctor is really like, as hopefully none of us will be making a trip to hospital anytime soon.

review

Ayse Djahit reviews the popular new series, Junior Doctors, which follows the lives of seven recently qualified medical students in Newcastle Everyone seems to be talking about it; the new TV show Junior Doctors has certainly made its mark on BBC3 and its viewers, especially among fellow students at Newcasle University.

Set in the familiar surroundings of Newcastle, over the last few weeks we have watched as newly qualified doctors embark on their Foundation Year, training in the regions hospitals.

We have watched them making the transition from medical students to junior doctors, adapting to their new role and the level of responsibility that comes with it.

Following the seven junior doctors, we too have been exposed to the understandable horrors of A&E in Newcastle on a Saturday night, seen extraordinary objects found in

YouTube clip of the week

Refreshing and real, it is something that I would recommend to all who are interested in a career in medicine or healthcare.

Keir, Suzi, Jon and Andy are the veterans of the Junior Doctor world as they set out on their final year of Foundation training, F2, immersing themselves in A&E, 13 hour shifts and deciding their future career paths. Whilst Adam and company

Ellie Wilson shares her YouTube video of the week. To catch the best each week, visit www.thecourieronline.co.uk.

The audio alone can provide the entertainment value of this short treat of a clip. It does exactly what it says on the tin, the seal screams loudly and he really does sound like a man!

It’s hard to really understand what it is that makes the clip so funny, but hearing a seal scream like a man possessed definitely caused me to crack up with laughter.

If you want a short but sweet boost to your hilarity factor for the day, or need a quick pick-me-up during revision hell then this is the video for you (if you laugh as easily as me that is!).

tweets of the week Sarah Millican Hello Llandudno, I like your beach *wink*. #rubbishflirtingwithawholeplace Noel Clarke Love how gullible kids are. I can still say to my son. “Look over there” and buy myself 20 seconds to move stuff. Lol #winning

Jedward A flying car! For real! What can we say it’s flying around us.

Jack Whitehall Heston’s mission impossible, Jamies dream school all social problems getting solved by chefs. others must step up... Ainsley Harriet on gangs?

Real Drama: Junior Doctors provides an insight into the start of seven medical careers

35

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

Culture

TV & Radio

tv & radio

TV & Radio Editors: Lynsey Fawcett & Ellie Wilson - courier.culture-tv@ncl.ac.uk

nsr schedule week 2 monday

tuesday

7-9 Louise Morris: NSR Breakfast

12-1 FM Special NSR Sports

5-6 Ewan Biggs: The Biggs Show

7-9 Kirsty Graham: NSR Breakfast

9-10 Bethan Brown & Victoria Mole: NSR Chart Show

1-2 Ed Stapley

6-8 Nile Amos & Joe Repath: Toe Jamm

9-11 Will Reynolds & Callum Sibley: Morning Glory

8-9 Ben L. Smith: NSR Introduces

11-12 Gus Hunter & Sean Lightfoot: North/South Divide

10-11 H. Adams-Cains & Matt Valencia: T.G.I. Mondays 11-12 Tom Warren: It Wozza Me

2-4 Louise Morris: Busy Doing Nothing 4-5 Max O’Collins: Choons and a Chinwag

9-10 Lucy Johnson & Olivia Mason: Ms. Connections

12-1 FM Special NSR Sports 1-2 Tom Wilson & Ed 2-3 John Challis & Rob Haughton: Thrashed Organ

3-4 Cathryn Yeates, Libby Sanderson and Samantha Gray: For The Record 4-5 Emma Humphreys: Afternoon Tea 5-6 James Tabbinor & Tom Waldron: Imagine That 6-7.30 James Fairfield & Philb: Prog.

Amp. 7.30-9 Bethan Brown and Victoria Mole: A&E Radio

wednesday 7-9 James Fairfield: NSR Breakfast 9-9.30 NSR News 9.30-10.30 Ashleen Morgan & Vicky Napier: Radio Gaga

3-4 Rose Boyce & Lizzy Skingley: Kaboom!

4-4.30 NSR Ents 4.30-5 EUPHONY

10.30-12 Isobel Tetchner

5-6 Kit McCormick & Daniel Carr

12-1 FM Special NSR Sports

6-7 Max Beavis: Golden Wonder

1-2 Richard Anderson & Patrick McCluskey: Peel’s Ghost

7-8.30 Joelle Learner & Ros Fraser

2-3 Kat Norry & Miranda Dobson: Alt. News

8.30-10 Chris Tindall: Reggae Toast

thursday 7-9 Cathryn Yeates & Samantha Gray: NSR Breakfast 9-10 Matt Dunn & Duncan Swainsbury: The C Word 10-11 Alex Bishop & Tom: Time to Time 11-12 Matty Guy, Dan Greant & Mitch Labiak: The Classics Hour

3-4 Gaby Sarll: Hit The Decks 4-5 Kieran Flynn & Lorenzo Squire: It’s bigger than the hip-hop 5-6 Becky Such & Rachel Belward: The Angry Beavers 6-7.30 Helen Stephenson: NSR in your Bass

12-1 FM Special NSR Sports

7.30-9 Bee Hollingdale: Bee’s Banging Beats

1-2 Will Tasker: Themoglobin

9-10 Nick Searing

2-3 Ros Howes & Katy Covell: Music From Movie Moments

friday 7-9 Rob Sellars: NSR Breakfast 9-10 Tom Jafferty: The Manual 10-11 Richard Anderson: Flashback 11-12 NSR Sports 12-1 FM Special NSR Sports 1-2 Charles Campbell: Soundcheck 2-3 NSR Film 3-4 Rob Denby, John Pelham & Joel Hawkins

4-5 Joe Skrebels & Cat: Southern Comfort 5-5.30 LOUDMOUTHS 5.30-6.30 Rosie Libel & Sarah Firby: Faces For Radio 6.30-8 Kirsty Graham: Live transmission 8-10 Mark Corcoran-Lettice: MMMMMM!

36

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

Culture Puzzles

puzzles Get all of the solutions to this week’s puzzles at www. thecourieronline.co.uk

Across 3 Mediterranean fruit (5) 9 Recoil, spring back (7) 10 Capital of Kenya (7) 11 Lancashire town (9) 12 Laptop brand (4) 14 Decorative covering for the home (9) 19 Liverpool pop group (7) 21 Woody tropical grass (6) 22 Genre of fiction (abbrev.) (3, 2) 24 Godly, heavenly (6) 25 Large knife (7) 28 Instrument for measuring atmospheric pressure (9) 34 Accurate, spot on (4) 35 Beach or pool attendant (9) 37 Italian painter and sculptor (2, 5) 38 Verify (7) 39 Midlands river (5)

logic problem You have two ropes, which are of different thickness and length.

However, burned from one end, each rope will burn completely in exactly one hour. The rate at which the ropes burn is random, and not even. You do not have a clock or watch, but you do have sufficient matches to light the ropes. How are you able to measure out exactly 45 minutes of time using only the two ropes and matches?

phone in Use the clues and the keypad to find the answers to the grid using the week’s theme to help you. For example the number three in a clue could be D, E or F. This week’s theme is Soft drinks.

Puzzles Editor: Andy Pitkeathley - courier.puzzles@ncl.ac.uk

Down

36 Video or data storage device (abbrev.)(3)

1 2 3 4 3) 5 6 7 8 9 13 15 16 17 18 20 23 26 27 29 30 31 32 33

Last week’s Crossword answer

Submarine (1, 4) Nepalese fighting man (6) Unscented (9) 2008 Robert Downey Jr. film (4, Betrothed (7) Pressed apple juice (5) Scam, rip-off (3) Bereaved woman (5) Coat, cape (4) One who bets (7) Stand, bear (5) Massachusetts University (7) Baby powder (4) Short-tailed wildcat (5) Old Testament prophet (4) Flawed, lacking (9) Welsh cheese on toast (7) Higher education institute (7) Locomotive (6) West Yorkshire city (5) NY city borough (5) Aromatic herb (5) First man (4)

sudoku

wordsearch

logical The words below make up a common phrase. Can you read what the phrase is as well as the word?

Across

Down

1.37737737 3. 785478 6. 6667837

2. 73774 4. 476278 5. 84937

word link Find the word that can be placed between these words to make two new words or phrases

Find all the words in the grid below, the words are all linked. This week’s link is US Presidents.

Coolidge Polk Clinton Roosevelt Johnson Bush Mckinley Lincoln Adams Cleveland Taft Obama Arthur Wilson Reagan

andy’s number cruncher Keep your brain in shape by trying to complete these sums as fast as you can without using a calculator

FIST

CLUB

EASY

ON

UP

15

FISHING

OVER

NEWS

MATE

HARD

DISC

DOWN

15

-9

Square Divide Cube by 9 this this

+44

Divide Divide by 4 by 9

MEDIUM

15

Divide Square 2/5 of 60% of Times by 3 this this this itself

=

Cube root

=

Square 4/5 of 30% of Times Divide Multiply Cube this this this (25/27) by 1/2 by 10 root

=

-9

Square root

The puzzles get harder as you work your way down the page.

3

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

37

consecutive Stan Calvert victories for Team Newcastle

days to go

Sports Editors: Jono Taylor, Wills Robinson and Kat Bannon - courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk

An opportunity for everyone Owen Evans explores the benefits of getting involved in the widely acclaimed Sports Volunteer Programme run at the University When people consider the prospect of involving themselves in volunteer work to promote their CVs, they often believe that in order for employers to be impressed, they need to be involved in obscure activities like fire-walking or creating match stick models.

In fact, it is far easier than that, and there are opportunities on your very doorstep which could make you more employable, and which are extremely enjoyable and rewarding.

The Sports Volunteer Programme, which runs throughout the academic year at Newcastle University, is an opportunity for anyone fed up of watching the same repeated Friends episodes night after night and wants to go out into the world and do something a bit different.

Anyone interested would have the opportunity to work in schools, clubs and community groups, helping with the sporting activities of young people.

As of September 2011, the scheme will no longer be funded by the Higher Education Funding Council for England, and instead will be run in conjunction with Student Community Action Newcastle and the Students’ Union, but will be just as easy to get involved in and just as rewarding.

“There are opportunities on your very doorstep which could make you more employable” Colin Blackburn, the current University Director of Sport, stated that they “are looking to see how we can recognise and acknowledge the contribution that these volunteers make to student life and enhancing the experience of students and others.”

Involvement in the scheme may also lead to more opportunities to volunteer within the University which would be recognised.

Although most people taking up the role would be involved in coaching young people, don’t be put off if you have two left feet when it comes to football, or struggle to tell the difference between a tennis racket and a hockey stick.

There are also opportunities to get involved in officiating, event management or marketing, so there really is an activity for anyone with a get up and go attitude.

There are also chances to help with disadvantaged people within the public and to work on events ran within the University if you have a particular dislike for the young. This includes helping vulnerable women, or working on the Street League Programme, which helps homeless people get involved in sport – a truly rewarding experience.

For those of you who live a little further outside of Newcastle, there

The Sports Volunteer Programme at the University gives students the chance to help teach sport in schools, groups and community groups, as demonstrated by Luke Teo

are opportunities to volunteer in the surrounding areas of Gateshead and North Tyneside.

The benefits of the Sports Volunteer Programme go well beyond the improvement of career prospects.

The programme offers people the opportunity to gain national governing body qualifications as well as first aid qualifications, which will help anyone wanting to take their sports coaching that bit further.

The skills an opportunity like this can give are not just important for the jobs market. They are important in improving life skills.

There is even the chance to gain extra credit by taking part in a Sports Volunteer module, which some degree programmes allow.

Most importantly, in many respects the programme gives people the opportunity to make new friends and meet new people.

Jessica Brannigan, who took part in the programme recently said: “I have made some amazing friends

through the programme who I probably wouldn’t have met through my degree. We all get on really well and have great fun working together”.

“The programme gives people the opportunity to make new friends and meet new people” The programme gives people the rewarding experience of working with young people, seeing them progress and develop in sport. It is a chance to do something which is fun, and something which will create a sense of achievement and pride. Samantha Hockney, who also took part in the programme, recently spoke of her experience: “Being a Sports Volunteer is never dull, there is always some new exciting opportunity to get involved

with;, the opportunity to meet new people, to try something different, or just to work alongside your friends”.

Even for those people who are already very active, the opportunity to take part is made easy by its flexible nature.

There is no minimum requirement for the time spent taking part, which means people with even the most demanding degree courses should give the scheme a thought.

The average time committed by volunteers is between 1-2 hours per week, with people being encouraged to offer less hours with full commitment than an unmanageable number of hours with no hope of being able to give full energy and passion to the activities.

If there is still a niggling doubt in some people’s minds about whether to take the plunge into the world of sports volunteering, the fact that it would effectively be free of charge should remove any uncertainty.

Any expenses from travelling or any money needed for suitable sports clothing is covered, which means that this fantastic opportunity for career development will not cost a penny.

People who have taken part in the scheme always say that it offers the opportunity to take part in activities which they would otherwise never have done, and that they have met friends that they will stay in contact with for years to come.

So if you see yourself as an enthusiastic, committed person who likes the idea of meeting new people and helping the young, whilst improving your career prospects, then take the rewarding steps to becoming a Sports Volunteer.

For more information go to the NCL+ website, or contact Sports Development Manager Marc De Lucia: Tel: 0191 222 7222 Email: m.de-lucia@ncl.ac.uk

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

39

Sport

What a difference a day makes After England failed to win the Grand Slam, Sports Editor Jono Taylor debates whether the World Cup has come too soon for England

Martin Johnson’s men endured a torrid night in Dublin last week and were left battered and bruised after failing to secure their first Grand Slam since 2003. The side must now pick themselves up ahead of the World Cup

After England’s Grand Slam ambitions were unceremoniously extinguished in Dublin last weekend, manager Martin Johnson remained resolute, insisting that the defeat would not prove harmful in the side’s pursuit of World Cup glory later this year. However the damage caused in Ireland’s capital may well be more severe than first anticipated.

Going into the final match of their Six Nations campaign, England found themselves with the world at their feet. Unpredictable campaigns for pre-tournament favourites France and European heavyweights Ireland meant that Martin Johnson’s men descended upon Dublin on the verge of securing their first Grand Slam since 2003 - the year in which the Webb Ellis trophy was last returned to English shores.

However, for one reason or another, England choked. The hard work of the previous year was forgotten and cast aside in an instant, and Johnson’s side imploded on the biggest stage of all.

With the World Cup only six months away, the 24-8 defeat to Ireland certainly did not go to script, but most concerning of all was the lack-lustre performance that accompanied it.

Teams do not become a bad side overnight and, in truth, Eng-

land were the most consistent side throughout the Six Nations competition. This was reflected with the sombre sight of stand-in captain Nick Easter lifting the trophy nine days ago, but this proved the merest consolation to a campaign that should have highlighted both England’s significant improvement over the last six months, and their realistic ambition to win the World Cup.

“The damage caused in Ireland’s capital may well be more severe than first anticipated” It may seem a little extreme to say that the defeat to Ireland has ruined England’s chances of lifting the Webb Ellis trophy in September, but the most alarming thing for fans, players and managers alike was their inability to perform under pressure and in an environment that was undeniably hostile.

Martin Johnson knows from his own experience how difficult it is to play rugby in the southern hemisphere, but he most importantly knows how to win there, after captaining England to World Cup triumph in Sydney eight years ago.

The harsh reality is that the hos-

tile reception that England faced in Dublin a week ago is incomparable to the one that awaits them in New Zealand later this year. In short, the side must learn to cope with such conditions, or risk a World Cup calamity.

After opening this year’s competition with an impressive away display in Cardiff, before seeing off Italy at Twickenham, England appeared to be building on the foundations laid during the autumn series. Selection was consistent, and the camp radiated a ‘feel-good’ factor - there was a sense that this side would not fear anybody, and would not hesitate in putting any side who stood in their way to the sword.

This was followed up by a steady victory over France, which admittedly lacked the cutting edge or flair of the previous two, but highlighted a new determination and doggedness that the side appeared to possess in abundance.

The Calcutta Cup victory over Scotland ensued, and once again failed to live up to the high expectations that had been set from the tournament’s outset. England were poor, but as the cliché goes, they showed that they could ‘win ugly’the mark of a good side.

The Ireland game was therefore drafted by the scriptwriters as the opportunity for Johnson’s men to re-

discover their ruthless streak, brush off the cobwebs that had plagued the side during the France and Scotland games, and re-establish themselves amongst the global order as one of the favourites to win the World Cup in New Zealand.

“In short, the side must learn to cope with such conditions, or risk a World Cup calamity” This is perhaps why the Irish massacre was so disappointing. For the first time since 2003, the press, pundits, fans, players and management alike were all looking in the same direction, and all were confident in the potential and talent that this young, vibrant England side was showing.

However, the players who have performed so admirably over the past year froze in Dublin, with Ben Youngs, Shontayne Hape, Chris Ashton, Ben Foden, James Haskell et al all being dumbfounded by the occasion.

The Irish defeat may well prove to be a blip. It is understandable that the side became overwhelmed with the significance of the game - they found themselves on the brink of history, and perhaps even became

a little complacent. However the damage that the defeat has done will not be evident until England kick-off their World Cup campaign against Argentina later this year, on September 10.

Martin Johnson labelled this year’s Six Nations as a “fantastic launchpad” in preparation for the World Cup. This may be true, but the way that his side fell at the final hurdle last weekend has to be a cause for concern.

This England side is young, with many of the players lacking both the experience and ability to control their emotions at a time when it is imperative.

Has the World Cup come a year too early for England? It is a question that will be answered on the biggest stage of all in New Zealand later this year. It is important to remember, however, that a team does not become a bad side overnight, and although the Irish game was a major setback, it may be one that provides an important lesson for this young side.

It is imperative that the side now uses the time before the World Cup to reflect, learn, and move on from their Irish disappointment. As of September, the eyes of a nation will once again be on England. Everyone hopes that they will thrive under the spotlight.

40

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

Sport Intra Mural

Lawyers edge past stuttering Dyslexic to set up a tense finale in the Division 1 title race Intra Mural Football Division 1

Dyslexic Untied Barca Law Na

1 3

Dan Robinson at Longbenton 3G A Jamie Hurworth brace helped Barca Law Na gun down Dyslexic Untied in an entertaining tie which kept his team’s title dream alive and kicking.

Nick Moss sandwiched a goal in between Hurworth’s strikes, while their opponents almost threatened to stage a courageous comeback after Simon Schofield pegged one back midway through the second half.

But in the end, it was a case of the more clinical outfit coming out on top, and Barca will welcome the three points which keeps the pressure on the Medics with the clock rapidly ticking on the season.

Dyslexic will rue a series of missed chances in both halves, with Laurence Jackson and Andy Nicholson both coming close early on.

The former beat the offside trap only to drag wide, while their opposition keeper Paul Wadhams made a good save from Nicholson to set the tone for the Reds’ day.

Although not enjoying as much possession as they might have, Dyslexic appeared to be containing Barca’s combination of slick passing

and torpedo kicks from Wadhams.

Yet, it was the Lawyers who drew first blood after 25 minutes, as a lapse in concentration saw Hurworth glide through to tuck past Untied goalie Mike Wright.

It didn’t get much better for Untied, with Nick Moss controlling in the box, before swivelling his marker to fire into the bottom corner five minutes before the break.

The introduction of Weston Murau at half time for Dyslexic almost paid immediate dividends when he danced through several bodies before shooting marginally wide.

But rather than build on this early promise, Untied found themselves in deep trouble when they gave the

ball away cheaply in their own half.

Hurworth was happy to receive his gift, twisting and turning before picking his spot past Wright.

Untied looked to be in complete disarray, almost going further behind when Wright was rounded, only for Adam Forster to make a last-ditch block.

Slowly, however, they began to creep back into the contest as they posed questions of their own.

Schofield, Murau and Jackson all came inches away from pulling one back, before the former finally succeeded, holding off challenges and taking the ball round Wadhams to turn into the empty net.

With 15 minutes remaining, Dys-

lexic gained extra impetus to try salvage something from this game, but ultimately, they discovered luck was not on their side.

Applegarth twice came close from set pieces, while resolute defending from a Stephen Fenton-led backline and expert goalkeeping meant the Reds’ hopes of staging a miraculous turnaround failed to materialise.

Barca captain Fenton was happy with a strong performance from his side in the first hour.

He said, “the lads are delighted to move back to the top of the table, and we’re now hoping Henderson Hall can do us a big favour in their clash against the Medics next Wednesday.”

Leazes hold on to down sorry Hendo

J. LEVRANT

Intra Mural Football Division 1

Castle Leazes Henderson Hall

3 2

Jimmy Taylor at Longbenton Castle Leazes came out on top in a classic Intra Mural match on a sunny afternoon at Longbenton. With only three matches to play, Leazes were desperate to pick up three points against a Henderson Hall outfit, who have been making the headlines with their impressive season.

The referee immediately took centre stage, and after 30 seconds Leazes should have been down to 10 men.

With Shaun Watson bearing down on goal, he was brought down by a clumsy tackle from Jimmy Taylor who appeared to be the last man, but to the anger of Henderson Hall the referee only produced a yellow card.

With Henderson Hall still reeling over the referee’s decision, salt was rubbed into the wound as Leazes took an early lead.

A long throw wasn’t fully cleared and James Savitto, on his return to first team football, produced a stunning overhead kick that nestled in the bottom corner of the net.

Hendo started to push Leazes without looking too threatening, whilst Leazes were looking increasingly dangerous from set pieces.

It was to take a piece of brilliance, or alternatively a defensive error for

On a busy afternoon of Intra Mural action, Castle Leazes held off a late challenge by Henderson Hall last Wednesday, holding on for a priceless and morale-boosting victory

the next goal to come.

Indeed this proved to be the case- a sloppy Leazes clearance saw the ball balloon into the air and with Leazes slow to react, a grateful Patrick Mannion slotted the ball in to the net from five yards out to fire Henderson Hall level.

Yet it was Leazes who reacted well to the equaliser and regained the lead just before half time.

Leazes won a corner, which was taken quickly by James Savitto and flicked on by Mike Spence . The unmarked Matt Ellams was able to tap in from only one yard out.

After the break, both sides battled ferociously for possession and knowing how crucial the next goal was to be, neither side were committing many players forward.

However, it was to be Leazes who would secure the comfort of a two goal advantage.

A long ball from Aaron Hill was flicked on by the impressive James Savitto and with the Hendo back four rooted to the spot, Mike Spence had all the time in the world to pick his spot and put Leazes on course for what should have been a comfortable victory.

However, this was not to be the case as Hendo clawed one back with 15 minutes remaining.

An inconspicuous ball was crossed in from the right-hand side and Saun Watson was on hand to finish calmly from six yards out.

Hendo continued to push and with only five minutes remaining, they should have been awarded a penalty. A long ball was sent over and Francois Dunesme, who was struggling to come to term with the bobble of the grass pitch, clashed with Leazes keeper Oli Cook.

Replays suggest that Cook got none

of the ball and a lot of Dunesme but again the referee wasn’t interested.

As Hendo pushed for the equaliser, the goalkeeper joined the attack for the last corner.

There was to be no fairytale ending to the match however, as the referee blew for full-time and Leazes held on for a priceless victory.

Web Exclusive

Read Ar-U-Shavin’s victory over Brown Magic at www.thecourieronline.co.uk

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

41

BUCS Sport

D.WONG

Newcastle’s rifle team competed last weekend in the BUCS championship finals in Sheffield, along with seven other university teams. NUSRC finished third overall, while Wong and Savage shone in the individual competition

Rifle club enjoy Thai festival causes stir shooting success Thai and Kickboxing

Rory Brigstock-Barron

Rifle Club Joshua Rowley and Derek Wong Last weekend, the Newcastle University Students’ Rifle Club (NUSRC) competed at the BUCS championship finals in Sheffield, to which only the top eight university teams qualify.

The first day consisted of the team competitions. Newcastle A got off to a flying start, winning comfortably against Glasgow, and proceeded through to the semi-finals, scoring 1140 points (out of 1200) to 1118.

This comfortable victory against Glasgow took them through to the semi finals.

In the semi finals, Newcastle A was unfortunately beaten by Southampton A, the eventual champions, by a marginal 12 points, leaving the team to battle for third place against Durham A. Like all great teams, Newcastle A recovered well and won by nine points with a score of 1148. The win placed NUSRC in third place overall, earning valuable BUCS points.

The second day of the championship was the individual competitions in which the top 20 shooters in all UK universities compete for a place on the podium.

A tense match was fought, with Derek Wong coming joint first and Michael Savage joint second in the country.

The scoring methods used in these competitions eliminated ties, unfortunately leaving Wong second and Savage fourth in the entire competition as both Newcastle shooters lost on count-back – a close match indeed.

Club captain Sanjay Mortimer said: “this is a significant achievement for us, considering that the Aberdeen and Southampton smallbore teams had a few GB shooters, so we are delighted to win the team bronze medal.

“We’re obviously gutted that Derek didn’t win the gold medal but overall it’s been a great weekend.”

Newcastle’s A team has been performing respectably in the Division this year, and has beaten Durham twice in the last two friendly matches, and is hopeful of winning the league and doing well in the next few championships.

Club president Derek Wong added: “the team didn’t perform to our usual high standards, so we are hoping to carry on our good form, scoring more BUCS points, especially in the upcoming Appleton long-range championship.

“We are also in the knockout cup final against Aberdeen, so silverware is imminent”.

The club is always looking for fresh blood and provides tailored coaching to members of all abilities.

If you’re interested, please do not hesitate to contact Joshua Rowley at joshuarowley42@gmail.com.

Last Saturday, a tournament organised by Newcastle University’s Thai and Kickboxing Club exposed me to a unique sporting culture that I was not prepared for.

After three hours of non-stop action, I left the venue with a newfound respect for what I had wrongly assumed was just a hobby for the students involved.

On the contrary, the event appeared to be a Mecca for passionate advocates of the two disciplines, bringing over 100 students from seven universities together in a colourful carnival of high level competition.

With 23 different categories, three mats, one ring, four referees and 12 judges, the action was constant, as fights simultaneously excited the crowds of team-mates and spectators, who surrounded the contenders.

Officially dubbed as a semi-contact competition, one of the most eyeopening elements of the competition was the force and power used by the fighters from beginner to advanced level.

Tournament organiser Anna Gamburg stated that, although she would have preferred a more reserved technical style to be observed by some of the fighters, the more aggressive striking is a product of the competition: “I got professional referees because I thought they’d be able to

judge force and restrain it. But I think it’s normal that things get a bit out of hand.

“Once you get hit, you get angry and start hitting harder, so does your opponent - it’s a chain reaction.”

With the use of gloves as well as shin and head guards, most of the competitors seemed content with the intensity of the fights.

In fact, the majority were in their element, slogging it out against multiple opponents for two, and even three rounds, in the case of a tie.

This attitude was particularly commendable for those at a noticeable size or skill disadvantage, coming back for more despite taking a barrage of powerful punches and kicks.

“The event appeared to be a Mecca for passionate advocates of the two disciplines” Organising the event presented more problems than just the ferocity of the fights, as Gamburg explained: “I had about eight people who didn’t turn up, which was a real mess and then some five people who we weren’t expecting, as well as six who wanted to change category”.

One consequence of having so many competitors of different sizes and skill levels was an inevitable weight and reach disadvantage for some of the fighters. Many of Newcastle’s advanced fighters fell to

larger opponents. Kickboxing Club captain Lawrence Hares fought well against a foe far greater in size, whilst five-time kickboxing champion Andy Newton also crashed out early to a challenger of greater stature, despite removing his opponent’s head guard with a spectacular spinning kick early in the contest.

Elsewhere, Luke Burl made it to the final of the advanced heavyweight class for kickboxing, but was edged out in a thrilling final, which stirred up a huge crowd.

The level of competition was undoubtedly of a higher standard than anyone could have anticipated, yet this was not the most remarkable facet of the event.

The contagious spirit and passion, which each competitor brought to their fights, along with the remarkably high level of sportsmanship on display, was a wonder to behold.

Almost every bout was followed by a warm embrace of acknowledgement between the two adversaries, despite seemingly trying to knock each other’s heads off just seconds earlier.

The camaraderie amongst the competing universities was solidified by the fact that many of the students, visiting from as far as London and Bristol, stayed for a night on the Toon to mark a competition that was undoubtedly a huge achievement for the organisers from the Newcastle club.

All in all, the event was a great advert for a sport that continues to grow in popularity, and a terrific achievement by a passionate group of students, helping to put Newcastle University on the map.

42

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

Sport

NUBC steer Team Newcastle into early Stan Calvert lead Boat Club Andrew Curry

Stan Calvert afternoon dawned bright, warm and windy. This race was something of a potential banana skin for NUBC as they are usually, if not always, heavy favourites to take the title.

All four of our squads took to the water with nothing but victory acceptable in this heated conflict between Uni and Poly.

First up were the Novice Women.

Having not lost to Northumbria all season, they were favourites to win and did so with style and pizzazz.

To make me look like an omniscient God, they had been instructed to win by three lengths and nothing more, and this is precisely what they did. Powering to a strong lead in the opening exchanges, they set-

tled early and kept taking chunks out of the opposition, crossing the line 23 seconds ahead of their floundering counterparts. First blood to Newcastle.

The Novice Men followed suit, easing into a two length lead and keeping their opposition at arm’s length for the entire race.

Whilst they struggled for rhythm, their race pace was enough to ensure another win, compensating for the rough conditions with some aggressive power.

The Senior Women came, saw and conquered, blowing the Poly out of the water with a clean row in tough conditions.

They had a late change from the quad to the four with the Poly undecided as to which boat they would lose by more in.

Unruffled and undeterred, the women, who had just finished their own fitness testing that morning, applied the screw and made the scores 3-0.

The Champagne event is always reserved for the Senior Men. The First 8 had suffered a late illness to super smooth 4 man Tom ‘Rizzo’ Wright and had drafted up Kenyan Olympic hopeful (seriously) Edmund McKenzie.

After a glacial start which saw the crew level off the first 20 strokes, Newcastle turned on the heat, put on the afterburners and took off the hand-brake, streaking into a two length lead, which they held for the remainder.

Although it was perhaps closer than it should have been, it was, nevertheless, a comfortable win for the blue star.

With the Poly smashed and Stan Calvert won for another year we were all sent back out to resume training.

It is now the turn of the other sports to do some damage on their field, court or track to add to the Boat Club’s contribution of Newcastle 4-0 Northumbria.

A strong display from the Boat Club last week saw off Northumbria with relative ease, as a

NUBC women to spark superb Boat Club Andrew Curry Newcastle University Women’s squad travelled down to London last weekend for the Women’s Head of the River with nothing short of victory in mind.

They had previously had a mixed season until this point, with the Novices impressing and the Seniors misfiring. Although BUCS Head of the River was an important race to win, and one of our few chances to seal some much needed BUCS points, the Women’s Head of the River is the holy grail of rowing events.

It is the race where reputations are made and dreams are broken and, as such, Newcastle make it a top priority every year.

The Novice Women have had a great season so far, compounding their hard training with a winning attitude and approaching every race with discipline and a desire to win.

Last weekend was no different.

Disappointed with their third place-

ment at the BUCS event last month, they were hell bent on winning and, as such, had drafted Abi Coleman, who was unlucky not to make the senior 8, into their boat. Her brief was to add some much needed rhythm and control to the feisty power of the Novice girls sat behind her.

Race day came with glorious conditions and the girls were as excited about a potential tan as they were about racing.

Although they were starting fairly low down the starting order, they paddled up early to get themselves in the zone for racing. Cox Carla Fernandez, the club’s resident Mexican, was nervous about her line of steering which is vital in achieving a decent time.

However, she had been instructed

by NUBC alumni Jonesy, who had briefed her thoroughly. The girls started strongly and refused to capitulate at any point in the race, storming down the world famous course in a solid time. They put their race plan into practice and generally executed their race with aplomb.

It was only later on in the bar that

THE COURIER Monday March 28 2011

43

Sport L.MACKENZIE

NWR falls short in BUCS finale NWR arrived in Liverpool ready to make their final BUCS league match of the season, and the final league match ever for the University for some members of the squad something to remember.

However, for the first 35 minutes Liverpool owned the game, opening the scoring in the first 10 minutes whilst Newcastle were ‘still on the bus’.

The home side took advantage of Newcastle’s lack of concentration, delivering blow after blow to the struggling side.

Meanwhile, the loss of number 8, Helen Martin, early on in the game due to injury did not help the situation. It took until Liverpool were 27-0 up and the first half was nearly over for NWR to get their heads in the game, but once they did they were almost unstoppable.

After too much time spent standing behind their own posts whilst the opposition attempted conversions, NWR worked hard to win possession of the ball from the restart, and once it was in their hands fast, hard running and many offloads later they found themselves in Liverpool’s 22 for the first time.

The strong running continued and excellent support meant that when prop Kate Ridley broke through the defensive line, but was brought down just short of the try line. Captain and flanker, Ellie Robinson was able to finish the job to put some points on the board for Newcastle before half time.

Knowing they had a challenge ahead of them, NWR came back stronger and hungrier in the second half.

Liverpool didn’t seem prepared for this invigorated Newcastle side, perhaps because they thought the game was already won, but they underestimated the mighty NWR, who scored their second try within the first five minutes of the second half, with winger Elizabeth Severs being the one to cross the line after a well-supported run from the half way line.

Fly half Phoebe Lebrecht successfully converted to really give New-

castle a boost.

Newcastle still had work to do though and upped the tempo further. Good play and communication from the forwards allowed Ellie Robinson to break through the defensive line off the back of a line out in the opposition’s 22, to score again, which Lebrecht successfully converted, using a Vaseline tub as a kicking tee.

Newcastle set up to receive the restart again, and once the ball was in their possession, they continued with their excellent communication and sweet offloads until they were back in Liverpool’s 22, winning a lineout.

A strong run from Robinson, broke the defensive line and created a gap for centre Holly Malins to drive her legs through and over the line to score.

Another successful conversion from Lebrecht took Newcastle to only one point behind with 18 minutes left to play.

The pack continued to dominate in the scrums, as they had been doing all through the second half, winning many Liverpool put ins, helping NWR to retain possession and work towards that potentially match-winning try.

Ten minutes of strong team play and breaking through tackles paid off for Newcastle, as Lebrecht made a break from 20 metres out to cross the line and put them four points ahead with six minutes to go.

With the try not converted though, this incredible comeback was going to require a strong defence from NWR for the last portion of the game.

It cannot be denied that the whole squad put their hearts and souls into getting ahead in the second half and put their bodies on the line in order to defend their comeback, with many suffering painful injuries - but it wasn’t to be Newcastle’s day.

With two minutes to go, a determined Liverpool put the pressure on in Newcastle’s half and a sneaky break on the blindside by the robust number 8 broke NWR’s defensive line.

An accurate offload put the winger through to score in the corner, leaving the final score at a tight 32-31 victory to Liverpool John Moores.

Newcastle met their match in Liverpool and, although the team is understandably gutted with the result, there were many positives and many lessons to be taken into their Stan Calvert match this week.

Rugby

Table Tennis

Women’s Rugby

31 Newcastle 1sts Liverpool John Moores 32 Emma Boyle in Liverpool

result Team Newcastle now go into Wednesday’s Stan Calvert showdown hoping to retain the trophy for an unprecedented fourth time

triumph on the Thames week for the Boat Club the news filtered through that they had sealed a win in the Novice Category and won Newcastle’s first ever pennant at Women’s Head.

Off came the clothes and out came the tequila as they completed the now traditional naked run across Hammersmith Bridge. To the Victor, the spoils.

The Senior Women raced the same race in the same discipline, but with a great deal more expectation on their shoulders. They had had a

tough season thus far, blighted by injuries and organisational faults.

However, they had rectified their faults and were hell-bent on putting in a decent performance to assuage the doubters.

This is precisely what they did with skill and precision. Racing in a new order with a borrowed shell and new cox, they had every opportunity to choke.

They started well and settled early, getting the chunky rhythm they are

now famous for through the middle of the course.

After a slight wobble in the middle, where inexperience begins to tell, they rose above it and finished strong in a superb 25th place, equalling Newcastle’s best ever result.

Strong performances from Megan Thompson Green, a former Novice and Abby Johnston meant that Newcastle Women have something to hope for when they make their assault on BUCS regatta in May.

BUCS Results - March 23 Basketball

Golf

Football

Hockey

Womens 2nds 51-36 Sheffield Hallam 2nds Womens 1sts 0-2 Northumbria 2nds

Golf 2s 5-1 Hull 1sts

Mens 1sts 5-0 Central Lancashire 1sts

Lacrosse

Mens 1sts 6-2 Hull 1sts

Netball

3rds 50-19 Sheffield 2nds 4ths 40-34 Sunderland 1sts

Mens 1sts 24-53 Durham 1sts Mens 2nds 42-26 Northumbria 2nds Mens 3rds 5-3 Hull 1sts Womens 1sts 31-32 Liverpool John Moores

Womens 2nds 0-5 Liverpool 1sts

Tennis

Mens 2nds 2-10 Leeds 2nds

44

Monday March 28 2011 THE COURIER

Destroyed in Dublin: Will England be ready for New Zealand?

Sports Editors: Paul Christian, Jamie Gavin and Tom James - courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk

Sports Editors: Jono Taylor, Wills Robinson and Kat Bannon - courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk

> Sport, page 39

Boat Club set winning Stan Calvert precedent on the Tyne

page 42 L. MACKENZIE

Newcastle University Boat Club made sure there was no upset on the Tyne as they comfortably beat Northumbria last Wednesday. Let’s hope that the winning continues as Newcastle’s athletes go into Stan Calvert this week

Royals seal league and cup double Men’s Hockey

Newcastle 1sts UCLAN 1sts

5 0

Calum MacKenzie in York Newcastle finished their BUCS season with an emphatic victory over UCLAN to lift the Northern Conference Cup. After being undefeated in 10 matches, the Royals went into the match with high confidence and with the added incentive of completing a league and cup double.

Despite this, UCLAN began the game strongly; they controlled possession and Newcastle struggled to gain a foothold on the match. But UCLAN did not make their early dominance pay, as they failed to create any noteworthy chances and eventually the Royals began to settle into the match.

Despite the dominance the Royals were beginning to display, it was

UCLAN who created the game’s first goal-scoring opportunity, with goalkeeper Toby Raper having to be alert to smother a one-on-one with a UCLAN forward.

As the first half wore on, Max Underwood’s aerial distribution began to pose a significant threat to the UCLAN defence. It was from an Underwood aerial that Newcastle created their first true opportunity.

The ball from the back was picked up by Hector Hall who, after beating one player, drove into the UCLAN circle. Hall was then able to find the unmarked Ian Rossiter, and his strike partner found the corner of the goal with a first time shot.

The Royals, buoyed by the goal, set about increasing their advantage.

However, to their great frustration, a number of penalty corner routines brought no reward. And, as Newcastle pressed forward, they had to be constantly aware of a fast UCLAN attack that posed a significant counter attacking threat.

However, to the delight of the

travelling support, it was the Royals who added a second to their tally. Newcastle talisman, Patch Brown, collected the ball outside of the UCLAN circle and the Newcastle striker drove towards goal. He then passed the ball towards Rossiter, who, for a second time found himself with time and space to pick his spot and doubled the Royals’ advantage. The half time whistle blew with the away side satisfied with their first half endeavours.

The second half began with both sides aware that the next goal would change the complexion of the match.

UCLAN placed the Royals under some early pressure but it was not long before Newcastle settled into their dominant style that had characterised the first half. They did not have to wait long before it was rewarded with the game’s third goal.

Newcastle veteran John Yarrow dribbled to the top of the UCLAN circle where he squared the ball to Ed Youngman. The Newcastle midfielder then produced a reverse stick

shot that left the UCLAN goalkeeper helpless.

UCLAN, aware that their chances were quickly slipping away, managed to maintain a spell of attacking hockey. They won a succession of short corners, but they could not get past Kieran Borrett, who, on three occasions, charged down the striker.

On the third occasion, the ball was scrambled away by the Newcastle defence and it was quickly worked into the UCLAN half. The UCLAN defence was short of numbers and Patch Brown found himself in possession at the top of the UCLAN circle. ‘The Horse’ then unselfishly passed to Rossiter who, with a firsttime deflection, completed his hattrick.

The UCLAN side knew that the game was now beyond them and began to lose their discipline. The UCLAN goalkeeper eventually talked his way to a yellow card, leaving his side with 10 players for the remainder of the game. The result was now beyond doubt, but the

rampant Rossiter had not finished his destruction of the UCLAN defence. John Colville, driving from the right wing, beat two players and then played the ball across the face of the goal. Rossiter was given a simple opportunity that he did not waste, netting his forth.

The last chance of the match fell to Patch Brown. The ball was fired into the UCLAN circle where Brown stopped it at the far post. The Newcastle forward, who has over 30 goals to his name this season, appeared to be certain to score from such close range. To ‘the Horse’s’ despair, he was unable to do so and the ball cannoned off the post. Fortunately for the Royals, the miss was of little consequence and they were to soon hear the final whistle.

The comfortable nature of the match only served to highlight Newcastle’s deserved victory. The win seals a season of success for the Royals, whose league and cup double serves as a remarkable achievement.