The Courier 1270

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 29 April 2013 Issue 1270 Free

Newcastle University’s award-winning student newspaper

p.14 FROM STUDENT TO AUTHOR IN A YEAR

O’Donovan takes two at ncl+ awards

By George Sandeman News Editor James O’Donovan was awarded the Vice Chancellor’s Award for Outstanding Personal Achievement at last Tuesday’s ncl+ Awards.

The fourth year medic also won the award for Entrepreneurial Spirit as the University and Students’ Union formally recognised his extra-curricular contributions.

One of the businesses he has founded is ‘Higher Standards’, a non-profit fair trade organisation that has helped to fund a hospital in Uganda and school tuition for over 100 children.

In addition, he started ‘USS Medical’ which seeks to widen access to medicine and ‘Diapet’ which provides blood glucose monitors for children.

However, he is also the founder of ‘The Golden Games Organisation’, a sporting fesThe Golden Games Organisa- tival aimed at over-60s tion seeks to give the which seeks the over-60s a to give them competitive sport- a competitive platform, and ing platform was singled out for being particularly beneficial to the local, national and international community.

Speaking to The Courier, he said: “I’m really surprised, I didn’t expect to win anything at all. I need to say a massive thank you to my friends and tutors for providing me with an amazing support network.”

Revealing what his plans were for next year, he said: “I’m going to be spending some time at Harvard as a Kennedy scholar and will be giving some health and business management lectures.”

He has also just set up a fair trade fashion company called Elimu with One Direction’s Harry Styles on board who will

be wearing their clothing during the band’s world tour. O’Donovan added: “I’m really excited about it and all the profits are going back to Uganda.”

James Pringle was chosen as the runner-up in the ‘Entrepreneurial Spirit’ category for his promotion of grassroots comedy via an app he created called ‘Laugh Louder.’

Having secured £10,000 worth of seed capital, he developed and launched the product in July 2012. The app allows users to find and book tickets for live comedy across the country.

The prize for ‘Best Society of the Year’ was awarded to the Islamic Society, the largest society on campus, for their engagement and outreach programmes with the local and university community.

Their ‘Discover Islam’ week helped to promote religious and cultural understanding on campus as well as holding several fundraisers for charitable causes.

The runners-up were the Modern Languages Society for helping bring together domestic and international students as well as offering 10 language taster sessions.

Marrow Society won ‘Most Improved Society’ of the year after their fundraising and recruiting activities for Anthony Nolan.

Part of their work includes the ‘match4martin’ campaign, which this newspaper help launch, and extensive cycling activities including a 24-hour cycle and a coast-to-coast trip which featured a mammoth effort from Land’s End to John o’ Groats.

The Chinese Student Scholars Association were awarded runners-up after holding 10 public events on campus to help foster understanding and integration between Chinese students and the wider community.

Students with Disabilities Officers Martina Dietrich and Caroline continued on page 4

WIN: ALICIA KEYS TICKETS

Est. 1948

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ABOVE AND BEYOND

James O’Donovan receives the Vice Chancellor’s Award for Outstanding Personal Achievement and will be spending next year as a Kennedy Scholar at Harvard University Photo: NU Photographic Society

£500,000 for dementia research

By Jack Burton Dementia research in the North East is set to receive a major £500,000 boost.

The money will be used to set up a brain bank, called Brains for Dementia Research, at the University to perform ground-breaking research on volunteer brains.

The project is being jointly funded by the Alzheimer’s Society and Alzheimer’s Research UK in conjunction with the Medical Research Council.

Coinciding with this announcement is a call for more people to donate their brains for medical research.

Research on human brains is vital as the conditions in the human brain are not fully understood, and cannot be

satisfactorily replicated in computer or animal studies.

This research is currently bottlenecked by a low supply of donated brains.

Part of the problem is awareness; according to research by the Alzheimer’s Society and Alzheimer’s Research UK less than a third of people (31%) were aware that their brains could be donated along with other organs for research purposes.

Currently anyone over 65 with or without dementia can pledge to donate their brain to science at death.

Professor Paul Francis, the director of Brains for Dementia Research, said: “Britain has some of the finest scientific brains in the country working on defeating dementia but without human tissue research will stall.

“Within 10 years, one million people will have dementia so finding a cure and developing more effective treatments needs to be the top of the Thunderbirds agenda.

Thunderbirds creator and deand dementia sufferer creator mentia sufferer Gerry Anderson Gerry Anderdonated his brain son gave the after his death on drive a boost with his high Boxing Day profile pledge last year, and his family donated his brain after his death on Boxing Day. Dementia is a progressive neurological disorder that affects over 820,000 people nationally.

News

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NEWS

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FEELING STRESSED?

An investigation of student depression and how to get help

INTER-UNI COMP Newcastle pole dancers triumph at competition

COMMENT

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WORLD AT A GLANCE 4 important world stories of the week

TOO EXTREME?

Should NUSU adopt the proposed ‘No Platform’ policy

SPORT

News Editors: George Sandeman, Susie Beever and Anna Templeton Online News Editor: Aine Stott courier.news@ncl.ac.uk | @TheCourier_News

Green-fingered students grow profit

By Louise Naylor A group of business students from Newcastle University have created a company selling plant grow kits for an enterprise module.

The business has become so successful they are planning to continue to sell their kits online after the course has finished.

The company, called Motif, was started in January 2013, after the team looked for a quirky product to sell for a module in their university degree.

The group decided to go for mushroom grow kits after seeing none amongst the chilli plants, cacti and flowering kits in small stores. This then led to two months of extensive testing of different strains to see which mushroom was most suited for the casual gardener, a time which member Kai Xiang-Mok revealed was the most difficult and demoralising part of the process.

The team have also branched into indoor flowering kits, which have been the most popular products to date, which Mok attributes to the cold spring. Although this might change with warmer weather, as Motif ’s flagship product is a novelty pearl oyster mushroom growing kit which takes 21 days to grow.

The group’s other range of products include popular indoor flowering kits such as Crocus, Narcissus, Mucari and Anemone Blanda. The prices are kept student-friendly, with the mushroom kits retailing for £5 and the rest of the kits at a very reasonable £3.

The Courier spoke to Kai Xiang-Mok

BUCS SAILING Round-up of Portsmouth Regatta

The Courier

MAGIC MUSHROOMS

Motif’s most popular product is their pearl oyster mushroom kit, which sold well at Tyneside market and the Metro Centre Photo: Kai Xiang-Mok

about being an entrepreneur. Mok revealed how Motif began selling their kits at trade fairs in the Metro Centre and Tyneside market.

This choice was a huge success with the product being almost completely

sold out after the first Metro Centre appearance and pushed their business into being profitable. He also has advice for aspiring entrepreneurs, “If you have an idea in which you believe, it will sell.

Keep going at it no matter what!”

When asked about any potential ‘magic’ element of his product, Mok replied in the negative, as all the kits are completely legal and would make a great gift for everyone, not just experimental students.

Newcastle University said: “Anything we can do to reduce the level of theft on the campus is very welcome.

“I had followed previous work done by this team and thought it might be able to make a difference to levels of crime, so I decided to suggest this experiment.

“The results were clear and “The images of we have now put these pictures eyes work by making people up across all the bike racks on feel watched. the campus.”

We care what For the first other people year the team think about us, monitored the of bike and as a result level s from all behave better” theft racks across campus for a control figure. They then placed the eye

signs in three locations, leaving the rest of the racks without signs.

They monitored all the sites for a year, and noticed a major drop for racks with eyes but an increase at those without.

A 2006 study found staring eyes made people pay almost three times as much into a tea-room honesty box.

A trial in 2010 showed that people using a canteen were more likely to clear away their tray after a meal when there were eyes watching them.

Lead author of the paper, Professor Daniel Nettle, said: “We don’t know exactly what is happening here but this just adds to the growing evidence that images of eyes can have a big impact on behaviour.

“We think that the presence of eye images can encourage co-operative behaviour. One strong possibility is that the images of eyes work by making people

feel watched. We care what other people think about us, and as a result we behave better when we feel we are being observed.

“The next step would be to increase the scope of the experiment across a citywide area to see if the effect is maintained, but the pattern definitely looks like it is worth exploring further.”

The idea is now being tested at various train stations by British Transport Police.

Barry Sharp from the London North Area Crime Team of the BTP said: “Research shows that this sign has had some promising results at Newcastle University, and we are always looking at new ways to tackle cycle theft at rail stations. “As well as signs at stations and increased patrols at hot spot locations, we aim to crack down on cycle thieves across Essex.”

42 Be warned, they’re watching you 46

PAUL COLLINGWOOD

The Courier speaks to exEngland icon

Monday 29 April 2013

By Anna Templeton News Editor

Simple posters of watching eyes have been found to dramatically lower the number of bike thefts in and around campus.

Eliminating the need for expensive CCTV, Newcastle researchers found that thefts from bike racks were reduced by 62%. The posters depict a pair of staring eyes, with the caption ‘Cycle Thieves We Are Watching You’. In the areas of campus without the signs, bike theft went up by 63%.

A security manager at Newcastle suggested the two-year experiment. He had seen previous studies that suggested people behave better when they feel they are being watched.

Mr Nott, deputy team leader for security in the Estates Security Service at

NUSU, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940

The Courier is a weekly newspaper produced by students, for students. It’s never too late to get involved in the paper, whether you’re a writer, illustrator or photographer. Just visit thecourieronline.co.uk/getinvolved for more information.

Editor Ben Travis Online Editor Ben Brown News Editors George Sandeman, Susie Beever and Anna Templeton Online News Editor Aine Stott Comment Editors Georgie Moule and Laura Wotton Online Comment Editor Jennifer Evans Features Editor Tom Nicholson Listings Editor Sally Priddle Lifestyle Editors Catherine Davison and Ellie Cropper Online Lifestyle Editors Rosie Devonshire and Colette Hunter Fashion Editors Elissa Hudson and Lizzie Hampson Online Fashion Editor Sally Greenwood Beauty Editor Amy Macauley Arts Editors Lisa Bernhardt and Millie Walton Online Arts Editor Grace Harvey Film Editors Hayley Hamilton and Sam Hopkins Online Film Editor Chris Binding TV Editor Chris Taylor Online TV Editor Ben Parkin Music Editors Chris Haywood and Sam Summers Online Music Editor Sophie Coletta Science Editor James Simpson Puzzle Editors Sally Priddle and Tom Nicholson Sports Editors Ralph Blackburn, Nick Gabriel and Lucy Williams Online Sports Editors Freddie Caldwell and Jack Gelsthorpe Copy Editors Rachel Horrocks, Charley Monteith, Leanne Penning, Chris Smith, Matty Aston, Sabine Kutcher

The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

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Monday 29 April 2013

Lecturer smashes London marathon

By Emily Keen Dr Fiona Smith, an associate clinical lecturer at Newcastle, completed the London marathon for the fourth time last week. With a finish time of 3.59.15 she broke the world record for completing the race in fancy dress as well as raising vital funds for HEART UK, the Cholesterol Charity.

Fiona has run the marathon four times in total but only once dressed as a doctor. She told The Courier, “I’ve always been amazed by people who can run a marathon in fancy dress and I saw a man doing the London Marathon in 2011 dressed as a doctor and thought...

I can do that. So I did.” Running in fancy dress also helped Fiona fund raise, “Of course it is also really helpful for increasing interest in you running a “I’ve always marathon and been amazed by it seems to people who can make people run a marathon more likely to sponsor you!” in fancy dress Fiona comand I saw a man pleted the in 2011 dressed 26.2 miles in as a doctor and 3 hours, 59 thought...I can do minutes and 15 seconds, that. So I did.” beating the previous record by 45 seconds. She tells said that: “It is never easy to run a marathon, but It was a good day, I knew by about 23, 24 miles that I was likely to break the record which helped at the end”. By running dressed as a doctor Fiona raised over £480 For HEART UK. Jules Payne explains why the funds raised are important to HEART UK, “it is essential as

we look to support those who have lost loved ones and to raise awareness of the importance of heart health, one of the UK’s biggest killers.”

Determined Fiona explained why HEART UK was an important organisation for her. She said: “Through my work I am aware of the implications of heart related illnesses. HEART UK is a tremendously important cause that is sometimes underrepresented in the media. I’m raising money for HEART UK to help raise awareness of heart related illnesses and to help spread the word.”

HEART UK Chief Executive Jules Payne said: “We’re delighted that Fiona has chose to run for HEART UK’.

HEART representatives were in London on the day of the race cheering her on and celebrating at the finishing line.

Dr Fiona Smith’s efforts created a wider following on social media. Celebrity Chef Aldo Zilli sent Fiona a message of good luck on Twitter before the race.

Aldo ZIlli said: “As an Ambassador for HEART UK, I’m passionate about promoting heart health. I’d like to wish Fiona the very best of luck as she gets ready for the London Marathon.” He added that the marathon is “one of the most strenuous and demanding fundraising events people can undertake and I want to congratulate her for helping HEART UK to prevent further deaths from heart disease in Newcastle and around the country.”

A world record for Dr Fiona Smith does not mean the end of her running career. “My plan is to do more marathons in the next year and I’ll certainly be doing the Great North Run in September.” She is even already considering the Hillier, Sunderland marathon this weekend, telling The Courier that she will do it if her legs can hold out but “perhaps not in fancy dress!”

RECORD HOLDER

Dr Smith now holds the record for fastest time in fancy dress as well as the accolade of congratulations from a celebrity chef Photo: Fiona Smith

Maratona di Roma 2013 Four Newcastle students, Richard Welch, Tristan Tinn, Victoria Haworth and James Howlett took part in the Rome Marathon, raising over £4,300 for the Association for International Cancer Research.

Richard Welch tells The Courier about their experience Having flown out two days before the start of the Marathon we were well rested and prepared for the challenge that lay ahead. As all athletes know, during the day before a big event it is important to rest as much as possible, so we spent most of the day walking round the vast city that is Rome, and enjoying the sights, tired legs! The evening before the big day saw the team enjoy a ‘carb loading meal’, the popular choice being pasta or pizza. Despite being told to rest and get an early night by all sources of marathon giving tips, we headed to the local Irish bar for a quick nerve calming drink before bed.

After crossing the line and receiving my medal I collapsed to the floor for a well-earned rest. Other members of the team opted for the free massage service on offer, from some rather attractive Italian women. After a monumental day we were all mentally and physically drained, there was only one thing left to do, have a welldeserved pint!

On the day of the Run we were all up at 6:30 am for the all-important pre marathon breakfast. For most of us this consisted of risk free food such as cereal and toast, although a few members of the team went all out with Bacon butties and Danish pastries, Tristan! Once breakfast was digested and the nerves had well and truly set in, we headed down towards the start line, the Collosseum. After around an hour of waiting and stretching the start got under way at 9am.

I still don’t know who they are but I will be eternally grateful to the British couple waving the Union Jacks and screaming my name, which was written on the back of my top, as I ran past in agony. It is hard to describe the feelings we all felt at this point in the race, the atmosphere was incredible, live music, huge crowds, flags waving, the finish line in sight, after over four hours of running!

To describe the whole run on paper would be impossible, but it is fair to say it was an emotional roller coaster. For the first 13.1 miles the mood could not have been better, the crowds were amazing and the sun was shining. As we headed into the toughest part of the race and neared the infamous ‘runners wall’, the crowds started to thin and the group started to split. It was fair to say at this point, the 18-20 mile mark, no one was happy. As we got closer to the finish line, the crowds grew in numbers rapidly

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MEDICAL MARVELS Members of the Marrow Society celebrate winning their award for ‘Most Improved Society of the Year’ whilst Caroline Shorthouse and Martina Dietrich pick up their award for ‘Academic & Peer Representation’ Image: NU Photographic Society

Monday 29 April 2013

continued from front page Shorthouse took home the prize for ‘Academic & Peer Representation’ for their work in the Students’ Union which included organising the University’s first ever Disability Awareness Week.

Events included the ‘Not all disabilities are visible’ campaign and the inaugural awareness-raising Wheeliators event.

The runner-up was Katherine Brown who sits on a number of university groups and committees to represent the student interest and has also delivered a training session for the NUS National Course Rep conference.

Sidney Parker took home the ‘Community Spirit’ award after setting up the non-profit ‘Medics2Mongolia’ organisation that saw him drive a donated ambulance 10,000 miles to the country before then undertaking voluntary medical work there.

He also organized a 193 mile coastto-coast walk as well as raising money for charities ‘Go Help’ and ‘Wish Upon a Star’.

Matthew Hughes bagged the ‘Environmental Champion’ award for his work in Rwanda where he developed a new method of composting for a subsistence-farming cooperative.

His new method has allowed the community, of 50 farmers and 116 children, to have better quality food and more

The Courier

Exercise Club’ and setting up a ‘Healthy Breakfast Club’.

Fellwalking Society President James Dodd was awarded ‘Society Officer of the Year’ in recognition of his work that included organising weekly trips of up to 50 people.

In addition, he was Hollie Johnson in charge of was an assistant ensuring their safety throughdirector and out the trips performer in that took place the Olympic in some of the Torch relay event country’s most remote arat Newcastle eas by utilising Quayside and has his extensive been a dedicated mountain exsupporter of the perience.

The ‘Arts & ‘Five Ring Circus Culture’ award was given to Hollie Johnson for her work in circus performances and community projects. She was an assistant director and performer in the Olympic Torch relay event at Newcastle Quayside and has been a dedicated advocate of the ‘Five Ring Circus’; a network of circuses for young people across the North East.

The runners-up were Daniel Tyson and Mark Reed who have secured

Sidney Parker drove a donated ambulance 10,000 miles to Mongolia before then undertaking voluntary medical work in the country sellable crops as well as saving them money to spend on education and HIV medicines.

The Newcastle Food Co-op were runners-up for their volunteer run shop that provides ethically sourced produce and helps increase awareness of conscious consumerism.

The ‘Contribution to Sport Development’ award was won by Hamish Adams-Cairns for his tireless work on behalf of the Rwandan Cricket Foundation in their quest to build the first cricket stadium in Rwanda.

His fundraising activities include charity events with big names like Brian Lara, a 100km group night bike ride around London and running a marathon.

The stadium aims to be open sometime in the next year to coincide with the twentieth anniversary of the Rwandan genocide.

The runners-up were Kirstin Endelman and Laura Smith who run weekly outreach programmes in the community that include the ‘Vulnerable Women’s

commissions to produce film scores for portfolios and exhibitions as well as working with the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art. Barbara Phillips-Kerr was also given special recognition as she enters retirement at the end of the year.

An assistant director at the Careers Service, she was responsible for the inception of the event and as an organiser over the last five years.

Speaking to The Courier, Emily Porter, Activities Development Coordinator at the Students’ Union, paid tribute to her: “The success and development of the ncl+ extra-curricular achievement awards is just one of her contributions in her amazing 25 year career at the University.

“Her passion and drive for recognising and celebrating students’ accomplishments, as well as her brilliant sense of humour, have made her an absolute joy to work alongside and she will be missed very much! Everyone at the Students’ Union would like to wish her a long and happy retirement.”

The Courier

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Monday 29 April 2013

Student depression: “When all the hope is sucked out of your life”

With dissertation deadlines, impending essays and endless revision, stress levels at Newcastle are at an all-time high. Sabine Kucher investigates depression amongst students, speaks to people affected by mental-illnesses and suggests some ways to combat stress during the busy exam period “Uni is meant to be the best days of your life, but it’s not like that for everyone”, admits the young man sitting across the table from me. If you didn’t know you would think he was having the time of his life here at Newcastle: going out with lots of mates at least three times a week, involved in sports clubs and societies.

He’s just your average all-round popular, nice guy.

Like one in four of us during our lifetime, Sam - not his real name - is affected by mental ill-health – depression.

To anyone who has never been affected by it themselves or through a loved one, it is difficult to emphasise. “Depression is just … it sucks. It sucks all the hope out of your life”, says Sam, “My mind is clouded with negativity. There were some days where I would just lie down and wish that someone would come and finish me off ”.

The causes of depression remain unclear and are likely to be a combination of factors, but it is now believed that depression occurs when the body’s and

ness. Sam agrees: “Men have always been seen as the superior figure in Society. They see getting help as a sign of weakness. The common idea is women could be like that because they’re vulnerable. If you watch films, like 300, it’s gotta be the man who leads. But most men aren’t really like that”, says Sam and recounts that when opening up about how he felt to another guy on a night out, he discovered he was not the only one that was struggling sometimes.

Not everyone experiences depression in quite the same way or as extreme as Sam does, but many suffer in silence and don’t ask for help. “It’s a barrier for all – men and women”, says Esta Innes, NUSU’s Welfare Officer, “there is still a stigma attached to mental health”. In fact, many sufferers don’t come forward because they don’t want to be seen as weak or unable to cope with life.

However, “depression is just like any other illness that you go to your GP about, like the flu or heart disease”, says Joey, “It took me sometime to realise it,

STRESSED OUT

One in four people will suffer with depression in their lifetime, so finding coping methods is vital Image: Daily Trojan

“Being a student definitely plays a part. Most students are away from home, you have to be financially dependent on yourself. It’s a stressful time” the mind’s coping mechanisms are on overdrive trying to deal with a host of social, biological and psychological factors all at once. Many sufferers experience depression in times of emotional strain like the loss of a loved one.

For others the cause remains unknown. “I never found out what triggered my depression, it just snuck up on me gradually”, says Joey - not his real name. “Maybe, like others have genes that make them more likely to get heart disease, mine make me more vulnerable to depression. Or maybe it’s the lack of sunlight up North”, says Joey with a smile.

Sam thinks that “being a student definitely plays a part. Most students are away from home, you have to be financially dependent on yourself. It’s a stressful time, there are so many expectations.”

People suffering from depression often find themselves in a spiral where negative thought patterns trigger chronic stress and low moods. Then a sufferer takes actions to alleviate these feelings, which then cause more negative thoughts because of regret or guilt about what happened.

This is why depression can also cause a change in behaviour. “I got arrested for drunken disorderly. I went out and I was so depressed, I just got hammered and then woke up in a cell”, says Sam, clearly ashamed of the out-of-character event.

Like many, Sam has found it difficult to open up about his issues for fear of not being accepted, especially because it might involve talking about your feelings with someone, which is hard for anyone. However, men find it particularly tough since talking about feelings is still wrongly seen as a sign of weak-

but it’s not my fault just like you can’t blame someone for needing glasses”.

Having run a successful campaign raising awareness of mental health last year, Esta Innes says: “The responses we had were very positive, quite a few people opened up about their own issues.

After all, most of us will be affected by a mental health issue through flat mates, friends or family”.

“Mental health can seem like all doom and gloom, but it’s not. Everyone has a mental health and our aim is to get people thinking about it before they become ill”, she adds.

Indeed, last year NUSU signed the ‘Time to Change’ pledge to end the stigma surrounding mental health which is supported by many celebrities including comedian Ruby Wax, actor Stephen Fry and boxer Frank Bruno.

Sam is conIt is now bethat for a lieved that de- vinced erer it “might pression occurs suff look hopeless, but when the body it’s not. It does really seem like it’s and mind’s coping mecha- not gonna get betbut it does. If nisms are on ter, you are a danger overdrive to yourself, call an ambulance. Even though you’re ill, you have things to lose.”

As a first step, try talking to someone about how you feel. “Talking about it helps”, says Esta Innes, “talk to a flat mate, a friend, a family member or call Nightline, NUSU’s free and absolutely confidential listening service available from 8pm to 8am every day”. Their number is 0191 2612905.

If your first attempt of opening up doesn’t work out, talk to someone else.

Ruth Gibson from the Student Advice Centre says: “We would listen without judgment and try to reassure them and provide them with information to help them”.

She adds: “We would suggest the person either speak to the Student Wellbeing team in the University and give them the contact details or we would suggest they speak to their GP. We would however encourage them not to ignore this”.

Indeed Sam has had a very positive response from his GP: “I saw a sympathetic GP and it was really unravelling because he sat down and talked to me for 10 minutes and sympathised.

“He said I shouldn’t feel this way and gave me a reason why I shouldn’t. It set me free, really”.

Newcastle University also offers students counselling through the Student Wellbeing Service. Initial appointments are made within five days of you contacting them and it’s a free, confidential service. Many people find it helps to discuss issues with an impartial observer who is there to support you with whatever you might face.

How to de-stress and look after your mental health

Take a break and relax.

Get some exercise.

Your brain doesn’t work at its best when you are stressed out. Try going outside into the sunshine and getting some fresh air.

Even if it’s just the walk into uni, exercise will not only help to keep fit, but get you ready for the challenges that lie ahead.

Keep doing things that you enjoy and that make you happy.

Eat healthily.

That hour spent chatting away with friends or watching your favourite TV series will boost your motivation and energy levels.

As appealing as that third chocolate bar from the Library Cafe may seem, try going for something more substantial that will fill you up and keep your brain happy.

For more information on depression and the help available:

www.ncl.ac.uk/students/wellbeing studentsagainstdepression.org

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Monday 29 April 2013

The Courier

Sarah Brown speaks to social injustices Last Thursday Sarah Brown joined the likes of Philip Pullman and Shami Chakrabarti, as Newcastle University hosted the eighth annual Fickling Lecture.

This year’s speaker made a call for action against the injustices young girls face when seeking education. She drew on the importance of literature in the shaping of a child’s worldview, highlighting many examples from her own childhood in Tanzania.

She shared that for her “literature was not just a way of passing time, but a way

value”.

Recent cuts in the North-East and elsewhere in the UK, alongside pressure from certain individuals, will see funding taken away from the arts and a more liberal education.

With creative industries valued at around 36 billion pounds, employing 1.5 million people around the UK and constituting 10% of British export, Sarah Brown is among the many who is fighting for the change to be reconsidered.

Whilst concerned about the future of those who currently receive an education, the talk focused in great part on those that do not.

The problems go beyond a simple lack of educational presence. Highlighted were cases of extreme oppression that millions of girls face.

Worldwide, 14 million girls are subject to becoming child brides every year, with their education often disrupted as a result.

Many of these belong to a staggering 15 million children who are missing from school in order to work.

However, focus was on Malala Yousafzai, who at age 11 was brave enough to share her story with those who would listen, and who four years later would fall victim to a calculated Taliban attack.

of finding meaning” – meaning of where she fit in as a girl “born in England, with a Scottish name and an African home”.

Literature, for her, not only helped shape who she is, but also what she thought.

Her first political message was passed on to her through the wisdom of The Sneetches (Dr. Seuss) and Mrs. PiggleWiggle (Betty MacDonald).

For reasons such as these she argues, that “we need to resist, with every fibre, any suggestion that education only has instrumental value and never intrinsic

The Millennium Development Goals put together by the United Nations, had world leaders agree to attempt to achieve universal primary education by 2015. With only two years to go 61 million children are still without a single day of formal education.

Basic learning and literacy skills of a further 250 million children are severely lacking due to inadequate schooling.

As co-founder of the A World at School initiative, Sarah Brown has been working to lower this number through her campaign work.

Her story swept across the world and is proof, for Sarah Brown, that change may not be “inevitable, but it is possible”.

The British campaigner asked of her audience, “why is the most terrifying thing for the Taliban a girl with a book?”

The speech ended with a plea for action. Sarah Brown pointed out that the single most important driver of change is you.

That if in the years to come there has not been significant change, then we collectively have all failed.

By Chrystina Martel

The speech ended with a plea for action. She pointed out that the single most important driver of change is you. If in the years to come there has not been significant change, then we collectively have all failed.

TIME FOR CHANGE

14 million girls are subject to becoming child brides every year. Sarah Brown spoke about these oppressive conditions young girls worldwide have to deal with Photo: Georgie Moule

The Courier

Monday 29 April 2013

news.7

Pole dancers storm inter-uni comp

By Emma Hill Newcastle’s Pole Dancing society came back triumphant after placing second in the Inter-University Pole dancing competition on 16 March at Essex University.

Melissa Whipp, the society president, came first by a landslide in the advanced category and Harriet Slack, Alexanne Hood, Rajani Whore and Bethany Dudley came second in the group performance.

Melissa Whipp, president of Newcastle University Pole Dancing society (NUPD), told The Courier: “The Inter-Uni Pole Competition was a great event for NUPD to showcase how much The society’s we have prosuccess has gressed. come at a time “From not ranking last year we when pole placed second dancing has overall – missbecome a ing out on first controversial by 0.6 of a point! issue. In I’m so proud of all our girls who January, the – they National Union performed were amazing! It of Students takes such guts to released a brief compete and they should all be so to eliminate university pole proud of how well they did”. dancing A number of societies other Universities took part in the competition including Bristol, Cardiff, Chester, Derby, Plymouth, Portsmouth, Southampton, Warwick and Essex.

A range of Pole Dancing Community (PDC) judges marked the competition and there were stunning professional performances by the likes of Nico Modestine (the 2012 UK Mr Pole Fitness winner) and Sandrea Simons (owner and founder of Pole Palais).

Without a doubt NUPD had the biggest support team at the competition, including not only committee and society members but also Toxic Cherry, the advanced instructor and friend of the society.

The Pole Dancing society’s success has come at a time where pole dancing has become a controversial issue.

In January, the National Union of Students released a brief to eliminate university pole dancing societies. This was however retracted in February after the outraged response from pole supporters who pointed out the inaccuracy of the brief.

Newcastle University Pole Dancing society has accomplished a lot in the last few years; from raising money for both RAG and The Infant Trust, winning NCL+ Awards in 2012 and being nominated in 2013, and winning the Medsin Talent show. They also attempted to break the Guinness World Record for the longest Pole Marathon, with their efforts currently awaiting official confirmation and recognition.

Newcastle University Pole Dancing society is hosting a Rock & Pole Summer Showcase on 6 May which will be sure to impress. With guest performances from both the Circus and Comedy Societies, it will be a great opportunity to see what the society is made of.

Tickets for the Rock & Pole Summer Showcase will be released shortly to buy in advance, and will also be available for purchase on the door of Venue/Mensbar on the night.

POLE POSITION

The pole dancing society have enjoyed a number of successes this year, and placing second in the competition has added to this Photo: Emma Hill

8.news

Monday 29 April 2013

The Courier

Clothing brand raises the stakes for charity

By Holly Callis

EXTREME ENGINEERING

The Neptune National Centre will be built on the north bank of the Tyne, and will be part of the government’s drive to improve oil and gas sources Image: Pickersgill Reef

Student-run clothing company Dos Clothing have teamed up with student volunteer Emily Cullen to raise £700 for the Teenage Cancer Trust. Dos Clothing, established in 2011 by student Miles Freeman, is a retro-inspired clothing brand and raised the money by developing a limited edition range of sweatshirts and T-shirts which went on sale in January.

The Teenage Cancer Trust invited its supporters to organise an imaginative fundraising effort to raise awareness of the charity and to support the 2,500 young people diagnosed with cancer each year. Dos Clothing then got involved with Emily, who volunteers with the Teenage Cancer Trust in her Career Development Module and through Newcastle University’s SCAN (Student Community Action Newcastle) project, in order to fundraise and also raise awareness of cancer in young people in the Newcastle community.

Although cancer in young people is rare, six people aged between 13 and 24 are diagnosed every day and the Teenage Cancer Trust is a charity which provides a support community for these young people battling cancer. It aims to allow young people to be treated together with experts specialising in teenager cancer care instead of being placed in a general cancer ward without the company of people their own age, which

can be isolating. It also aims to spread awareness of teenage cancer, educating schools and young people about the warning signs and improving their chances of survival. The Teenage Cancer Trust relies solely on donations, so projects like this are hugely important.

Fundraiser Miles Freeman said about the project that “having visited the ward, I realised how much time, “Cancer is a resources and fivery real issue nancial support is required to facing young run both the RVI people and I and the Freeman felt that Dos Teenage Canclothing would cer Trust wards Newcastle. be a fantastic in vessel not only Cancer is a very issue facto raise aware- real ing young people ness, but also and I felt that Dos raise money.” Clothing would be a fantastic vessel to not only help raise awareness, but also raise money for the fantastic work that Teenage Cancer Trust does”. Not only did Miles and Emily raise £700, they also increased an awareness of the charity and its work in the Newcastle University community.

The cheque was presented to a representative from the Teenage Cancer Trust on Thursday 7th March at the Freeman’s Hospital. The fundraising for this charity continued as on Wednesday 24th April the Intramural Rugby Sevens

Number of people going on to higher education up to 50%

By Susie Beever News Editor Statistics published last week show that the number of students in England going to higher education has reached just below 50%.

The percentage has been seen by successive governments as the target statistic for young people going on to higher education.

Figures, released by the Department of Business, Innovation and Skills, relate to the 2011/2012 academic year

In an interview with the Times Higher Education supplement, director of Office for Fair Access Lee Ebdon expressed concern, saying: “We know from entry and application data under the new system that demand for full-time higher education remains high among young people”.

Ebdon added: “However, I am very concerned that demand from mature learners, and for part-time study, has fallen significantly, with the number of undergraduate part-time entrants falling by 40 per cent since 2010-11”.

“I am very concerned that demand from mature learners and the number of part-time students has fallen by 40% since 2010 to 2011.” whereby students eschewed gap years to avoid paying the £9,000 tuition fees.

The figures have been reported to have been artificially imposed as a result of the rise in tuition fees.

342,000 students went to university in 2011 according to the Higher Education Statistics Agency. This shows a surge of 17,000 students from the year before.

UCAS have also revealed that figures of students choosing to defer places fell below 10,000 in the same year, compared with 23,000 students who did so the previous year.

However, a wide gender gap in the statistics has persisted over the past decade according to the same bureau.

Women made up 55% of the entrants in 2011, causing a 10% gender gap.

“The reasons behind the drop in parttime entrants need to be understood to help reverse the trend, so I am pleased that Universities UK will be conducting a review into this issue, following a request from the minister [for universities and science]”.

The statistics, which encompass all 1730 year-olds going into higher education in UK institutions, were previously used by the Labour government in the 50% goal for students at university.

What do you think of the statistics? Let us know at www.courieronline.co.uk

The Courier

nationalstudentnews.9

Monday 29 April 2013

Professor scoops award

By Cathy Bundy Newcastle University’s Professor Jeff Errington has been awarded the prestigious Novartis Prize by the Biochemical Society for his outstanding contribution to our understanding of bacteria.

Errington has been Director of the Institute of Cellular and Molecular Biosciences at Newcastle University since 2005. In 2007 he went on to found the Centre for Bacterial Cell Biology – which has already become a world leading centre for microbial research.

Noted for his strong interest in aiding the discovery of the next generation of antibiotics and for promoting bacteriology in the UK, Professor Errington commented on his achievement:

Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience (Term-time) Social Impact Research Officer Employer: Balliol Youth and Community Centre Closing date: 02.05.2013 Salary: £600 bursary upon completion of placement Basic job description: Balliol Youth and Community Centre is proud of its long history of working with children and young people in Longbenton, Newcastle. We have led numerous projects aimed to encourage our users to be better equipped as responsible citizens of their local community, positively contributing to Longbenton’s well-being and growth. We are seeking an individual to develop an impact analysis of the presence of the centre within the community, with particular focus on the impact measurement of youth work projects.

You will develop further inquiries into the potential consequences and impact of the withdrawal of such projects.

Person requirements: You must have a keen interest in community development practice and possess the following skills: Understanding of confidentiality and data management issues; Data Analysis; Familiar with up-to-date methodologies of social audits; Ability to gather information sensitively from a varied aged group; Excellent communication skills. You should be able to work as part of team and use initiative to undertake tasks alone. Report writing using experience using large amounts of data and information is essential.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience (Summer) Scientific Reporting Assistant Employer: Enviresearch Closing date: 12.05.2013 Salary: £1200 bursary Basic job description: Enviresearch is a scientific consultancy company that specialises in the regulation and risk assessment of chemicals. We take pride in the high quality of our reports concerning the risks of chemicals in the environment and the regulation of chemicals. This pride is based on rigorous quality control at all stages of writing, as well as high standards of scientific innovation and careful calculations. The main purpose of the role is to proof reports written by Enviresearch staff for quality, with particular emphasis on grammar, formatting, spelling, consistency of data and referencing. Any problematic areas within the reports need to be documented and brought to the attention of the author. There will be other tasks relating to streamlining our working procedures and improving our efficiency.

Person requirements: The successful candidate will be highly numerate and literate. You must be able to show meticulous attention to detail and ensure very high standards of your work. The candidate will be an excellent communicator who knows how to separate fact and opinion. You must be confident to raise questions with senior staff in a clear manner. You will have a background in a numerical discipline, for example but not limited to civil engineering, biology, chemistry or maths, and have a strong interest in environmental science. You should have some experience of writing at least one significant piece of academic work with a strong numerical component.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience (Summer) Business Development Executive

“This award recognises the work my lab has done over many years on basic biochemical functions in bacterial cells. I hope that we will soon be able to translate our findings in ways that will impact on the future development of novel antibiotics.”

The Biochemical Society, which is the UK’s largest discipline-based learned society in the biosciences, remarked on Errington’s role as a leader in translating basic research into drug discovery - one of the most important research areas in modern science. His lab is best known for its ground breaking work on the bacterial cell cycle and cell morphogenesis.

The award is primarily for his work on ‘L-form’ cells which, unlike most bacteria, can survive without a protective cell

Employer: Annie Barr Associates Ltd Closing date: 12.05.2013 Salary: £1200 bursary Basic job description: Annie Barr Associates is a major provider of accredited nurse and health care assistant training in the UK. The Business Development Executive will work closely with the Business Development Manager who is responsible for assisting the director with the development and implementation of the organisation’s development strategy, identifying new business opportunities, maintaining key relationships and negotiating and closing business deals. This will mean identifying new tender opportunities. Specific responsibilities for a Business Development Manager includes pursuing sales and prospective clients, building client relationships, delivering presentations and maintaining extensive knowledge of current market conditions. You will work from both the office and at home.

Person requirements: You must be self motivated using your initiative, with practical knowledge of marketing, sales and SEO. You should be an excellent communicator, both verbally and written, with an understanding of the business market.

You must be IT literate (including MAC Business Development) with CRM experience. Although not essential experience of working within the health sector or NHS is desirable.

Location: Northumberland.

Job Title: Telephone Market Research Interviewer Employer: Explain Closing Date: None given Salary: To be confirmed.

Basic job description: Telephone Market Research Interviewers are required to work 16+ hours per week with Explain Market Research based in Newcastle. Your key tasks will include conducting outbound market research interviews, having direct contact with a range of audiences including the general public and businesses, accurately capturing respondent responses, data entry, representing Explain by abiding by its brand values at all times and ensuring all contact with respondents is carried out in a professional manner ensuring respondents have a positive experience during their interview.

Person requirements: Conscientious and reliable with a positive ‘can do’ attitude, flexible to adapt to changes in working hours according to the business needs, good time-management skills, a pleasant, polite and courteous telephone manner, excellent communication skills, good listening skills, computer literacy and previous customer service experience.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Job Title: Breakfast Club Assistants x2 Employer: North Tyneside Council Closing date: 03.05.2013 Salary: £12,273 - £13,303 per annum, pro rata Basic job description: 2 Breakfast Club Assistants are required to work 5 hours per week at Spring Gardens Primary School in North Shields. The successful candidates will join our highly effective team of support staff, to create a welcoming and supportive environment for the pupils attending the breakfast club. This role will commence from the 3rd June 2013.

Person requirements: You should be able to work collaboratively and flexibly under the supervision of senior staff. If you feel that you have the skills and enthusiasm for this post then we would be

wall.

Professor Errington’s lab has discovered that the complex mechanisms necessary for most bacteria to divide in a controlled manner while maintaining the integrity of the cell wall are not necessary for L-form cells. The alternative method of multiplying is remarkably simple, with baby cells pinching off from the original. It is hoped that solving the mystery of how L-forms grow and divide will lead to a new generation of antibiotics, keeping us safe from emerging resistant strains of bacteria.

The importance of this research is highlighted by a recent statement by the Government’s Chief Medical Officer, Dame Sally Davies, who warned that antibiotic resistance is as much of a risk in today’s world as terrorism.

delighted to hear from you.

Location: North Shields.

Job Title: Building Facilities Operative Employer: Newcastle University Closing date: 08.05.2013 Salary: £13,486 - £13,839 (pro rata) per annum Basic job description: A Building Facilities Operative is required to work 20 hours per week (Monday to Friday, 5:00pm - 9:00pm) with Newcastle University. In this role you will undertake a variety of general cleaning and portering duties, as part of the evening team.

Person requirements: Experience of working as part of a team, and in a customer focused environment is essential. You must also have a flexible approach to working. Must be willing to work towards NVQ Level2 or similar qualification.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Job Title: Brand Ambassador Employer: Adidas Closing Date: 01.05.2013 Salary: £6.94 per hour Basic job description: We’re looking for leaders to spread the word, run adidas events on campus, and unite NCL to go all in. Your role will be to represent adidas on campus and communicate to NCL students the opportunities that adidas are offering. This will include promoting exclusive NCL offers and incentives, supporting with the activation of incentives or events and driving traffic to adidas.co.uk - for every student you get involved, you’ll work your way towards personalised rewards. You will also attend Progress Review days and participate in fortnightly update calls.

Person requirements: You must be an enrolled NCL student for the 2013/14 academic year, demonstrate an ability to lead, persuade, inspire and motivate, possess excellent communication and networking skills, a team player but can work independently, hold a good knowledge of the local area, on and off campus, show dedication to extra-curricular activity at school and university and available for a minimum of 5 hours per week, which may go up to a maximum of 16 hours during special events or busy periods.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Job Title: Housekeeping Assistants Employer: Macdonald Hotels and Resorts Closing Date: 09.05.2013 Salary: Competitive Basic job description: Housekeeping Assistants are required to work part-time hours at Linden Hall in Morpeth. The Housekeeping Assistant will keep guest rooms and public areas spotlessly clean, whilst checking if any repairs are needed.

The Housekeeping Assistant will be able to demonstrate a friendly and professional approach as well as immaculate presentation standards and strong attention to detail.

Person requirements: Our guests expect quality and service so we’re looking for a customer focused Housekeeping Assistant, to join our team taking responsibility for ensuring that guest bedrooms and public areas meet and exceed Macdonald Hotels brand standards, first time, on time, every time. You will preferably have had experience of working in a similar role, however this is not essential as full training will be given.

You must be an able communicator that can demonstrate high standards of numeracy and literacy.

Location: Morpeth.

Hot tub for stressed finalists

Two arrested after student death

University of Oxford

University of Leeds

After last week’s news of Aberdeen’s attempt to de-stress students by letting them pet a host of cute puppies, Jesus College Oxford is set to top that.

Jesus College JCR is hiring a hot tub for its final year students.

The motion mandating this passed their Council last week and was proposed by the College’s Welfare Officer.

The hot tub is set to arrive just before the exam season begins and its hire will cost up to £400.

Finalists are already looking forward to it while first- and second-years are disappointed that they will not be able to use the hot tub.

Sarah Coombes, a history and politics third-year at Jesus, said, “This is the second year the hot tub initiative has been run, and it’s turning into a great Jesus tradition.”

Second year economist Eddie Shore said, “Frankly I’m disgusted by the pedestrian nature of the hot tub in question. We were promised time travel, and the JCR has failed yet again to deliver the thrills that our college so desperately needs.”

The body of a 24-year old female had been found in the street earlier this month and now two suspects have been detained by police, who are treating the student’s death as unexplained.

A 23-year-old man and a 47-yearold man were arrested in connection with the investigation and have been released on police bail while the investigation continues. One of the men, 23-year old Joshua Dean Wilson, is thought to have seen Mar i am shortly before she died.

Detective Chief Inspector Andrea Kell, who is investigating the case, said: “We are treating the woman’s death as unexplained at this time and it is vital that we piece together her final movements.”

A University spokesperson said : “It is with great sadness that the University has learnt of the death of one of our students. Our thoughts are with her family and we are offering advice and support to our staff and students at this difficult time.”

App allows secret FB messages

Engineers launch space satellite

University of Oxford

University of Warwick

An app, developed by a student of Keble College, allows the encoding of secret messages in pictures which can be uploaded to Facebook.

Others can decipher the messages using a password. Both users will have to have downloaded the app for the process to work. To view the secret message in a publicly available Facebook picture, the user presses a combination of keys followed by the password.

All others remain none the wiser.

The extension, available from the student’s personal blog has already been downloaded more than 7,000 times.

The student’s inspiration was a report on the CIA’s activities on social media and The Daily Mail quickly reported that the application has potential uses for terrorists. The student denies that possibility.

After the successful launch of a prototype, a group of engineering students at Warwick University are preparing to launch a satellite into space.

The prototype was almost entirely built by undergraduates from the School of Engineering and was sent 30km up into the stratosphere.

The prototype is designed to withstand temp eratures as low as -60 °C and can transmit data and images up to a range of 30 miles.

For the test run, the prototype carried three cameras, a radio communications link and a GPS tracker.

It was recovered undamaged after a 2 hour flight from near Banbury.

Images: Andrei! and FlyingSinger

Sabine Kucher

10.comment 3 reasons why... ...Google glasses will never catch on...

1) You will look like a complete knobhead The Google Glass is a metal frame, which stretches around your head and holds a small square of glass in front of your right eye. It does not look good. It doesn’t even look good in a high-tech future sort of way. This would make X-Men’s Cyclops look like a knobhead. It would make Star Trek’s Geordi La Forge look like a knobhead.

It would make Kanye West circa 2007 look like a knobhead. It will make you look like a knobhead.

2) It will ruin your sex life I’m currently hanging on to a very basic Nokia smartphone from 2010, and even this limited access to Google makes me completely insufferable. I couldn’t count the amount of times I’ve had to sleep on the floor after stopping midcoitus to check whether the bad guy in Drive is the same bloke who plays Nemo’s dad. Imagine having that kind of power, but in your eyes. Nightmare.

3) It will probably get you killed Picture yourself crossing a busy road. You’re halfway there, and it looks like you might live to recklessly jaywalk another day. Suddenly, in the corner of your eye there appears a translucent image of your new baby cousin taking his first shit. ‘Uncle Dave has shared this picture of his shitting child with you’, you read. BAM. You’re road-kill. One brief distraction is all it takes. Now Baby Pippin has that on his conscience, you dead bloody idiot. Stay safe.

Sam Summers

Monday 29 April 2013

The Courier

Having a niggle with scribbles With exams and deadlines on the horizon, Ellie Cropper discusses her irritation at the oh-so common vandalism of books in the Robinson Library ELLIE CROPPER

T

here aren’t many things I really genuinely stop and think “wow, that really grinds my gears” apart from moths and the noise of toilet hand dryers.

In the last term of third year, the library is my high, my low, my sunshine, and my ever-so-apparent black cloud.

It can make or break it for me, and will make the difference between me driving the local hopper bus for the rest of my life, to following someone annoying round in heels I can’t walk in clutching a skinny vanilla latte.

If you’re one of those unfortunate sods who unknowingly picked a module that requires one book and one book only that the rest of your frantic peers also need, you’ll be able to relate to the feeling of victory when finally, after hours of following round another student, trying desperately not to be seen as you follow them to the toilet, you get your grubby little mits on that tome.

This is where I discovered the third of my earth-shatteringly annoying day-today occurrences. When people - and by ‘people’ I mean old women who smell like Horlicks and disappointment and work in your childhood library - say “writing in library books is vandalism”, your younger, slightly luckier and thin-

ner self thinks it’s a huge overstatement.

I have come to realize that it isn’t.

Opening a book to find that the previous user has scrawled in the definition of ‘gender’ or ‘deforestation’ down the margin should be regarded a criminal.

This crime comes in degrees of seriousness as far as I’m concerned.

“Writing in pencil is still bad, it’s kind of like stealing teaspoon from a restaurant instead of a soup spoon”

straight off after you never have to look at the book again.

The second, and probably most common lazy act of defacement is highlighting. People tend to highlight key words such as ‘masculine’ and the title of paragraphs just so it makes it that much clearer that you don’t have a clue what the book is telling you and, indeed, what you’re even meant to be writing an essay on in the first place.

For those of you lucky people that haven’t got neon pink highlighter on a white t-shirt, it doesn’t ever come off

and strangely enough it doesn’t come off the pages of library books either.

Writing in pencil is still bad. It’s kind of like stealing teaspoon from a restaurant instead of a soup spoon and sleeping easy at night in the knowledge it could have been worse.

Biro scribblers, I hope you’re struck down by a freak storm in later life because there’s no excuse. The force of writing in a usually panicked state on delicate paper means that you’re probably going to emboss several pages with your nonsensical squiggles.

The first is corner folding. Just because you found a good quote on page 40 doesn’t mean the next person will. Not only does it damage the book irreparably, but it also gives off the impression that the other, unfolded pages aren’t worth reading anyway.

There are simple ways round this, like buying page dividers which come in wonderful colours and can be peeled

No room for showrooming?

As internet shopping becomes more and more popular, Hew Rous-Eyre discusses if the availability of products at knock down prices online could be the end of the high street HEW ROUSEYRE

O

ne of the Comment Editors, Laura Wotton, muttered under her breath that this article may appeal to some of the girls in the room at the precise moment at which I put my hand up to volunteer for it.

That paired with the fact that I got a C in AS economics gives some indication of my authority and expertise on the subject of ‘showrooming’ and the effect it has upon high street shops.

All the same, essentially showrooming is when a potential customer enters a shop, has a browse, receives specific information on certain products from assistants, and then checks the internet on their smartphones for the same product at a cheaper price.

This can even result in the customer buying the product they want while in the shop, but without actually visiting the till.

From a consumers point of view this is ideal; a cheaper, physically efficient alternative to traditional high street shopping. What’s more is that one’s online purchases are being indirectly, professionally informed by the shop assistant

trying to make a sale.

Obviously for the actual shops and chains this is not the case. Design agency Foolproof ’s research concluded that 24% of people showroomed during their Christmas shopping, 40% of whom opted for cheaper online alternatives. Shops like Jessops have had to shut down as on top of having to pay rent, salaries and bills, they also have to

only a breach in shopping etiquette and the resultant embarrassment on the customers behalf. Should a customer be made to feel guilty when all they’ve

“Customers have been “There’s no law shopping for cheaper online against since around showrooming, only a breach of the turn of the century.” shopping done is responded to the market while etiquette.” making the most of free costumer ser-

try and compete with the lower prices of online shops like Amazon.

Initially one thinks, surely this news is ten years or so too late. Customers have been shopping for cheaper online since around the turn of the century.

This particular trend however is actually something growing rapidly at the moment.

There’s no law against showrooming,

vices of brick-and-mortar shops?

Celiac Supplies, an Australasian grocery store, has started to charge $5 for a browse if the customer doesn’t buy anything. It’s a tactic that shop owners must surely contemplate regularly. How does one attract customers without making them feel threatened and forced to buy products?

The blame shouldn’t lie with anyone really. It’s the shops responsibility to

compete for the consumers money.

Competition forces up quality; either offer a better price or a better product.

Alternatively the shopping experience could be made into something more than just an explanation, essentially where the shop makes such an effort, through try outs, test drives, fittings etc. that the customer feels it’s his or her obligation to buy the product in store, and on top of that come back more often.

Naturally it would take a little innovation where salesmanship is concerned, but as oppose to killing off the high street, this kind of attitude brings back a sense of personality and loyalty to big stores as well as encouraging new, engaging methods.

Interestingly second hand stores and vintage shops are immune to showroomers as everything sold there is unique and often good value already.

Although not by any means the ultimate answer, perhaps this offers some indication as to how other shops should react to this particular trend.

What are your thoughts?

Tweet the Comment section at @couriercomment

The Courier

.11

Monday 29 April 2013

Comment

Comment Editors: Georgina Moule and Laura Wotton Online Comment Editor: Jennifer Evans thecourieronline.co.uk/comment courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Comment

SLACK?

Do MPs work hard enough for their salaries?

Image: Carlesmari (Wikimedia)

Should MPs work longer hours?

JOHN BLEWETT

YES S

hould the bags under Ken Clarke’s eyes get any larger, they are likely to impede his vision.

Nor is he the only cabinet member carrying extra baggage. It is a difficult time to be in government; long hours are to be expected when dealing with economic crises. However, outside of the cabinet, the picture looks rather different.

Margaret Hodge, Labour chair of the Public Accounts Committee, called for an increase in parliamentary hours in comments earlier this week. ‘It feels as if we are hardly working’, she stated, in reference to increasingly short parliamentary sessions. As our democratic representatives, one would hope that honourable members would toil night and day to ensure that all government legislation is properly held to account.

It would appear from Margaret Hodge’s comments that this simply is not the case.

The problem is twofold. Firstly, the number of hours a day that parliament actually sit debate are few. This restricts the breadth and depth of debate, undermining the ability of MPs to scrutinise legislation. Secondly, since the Labour government of Tony Blair, there has been a substantial extension of parlia-

mentary recess and holidays.

It may seem that once in office, governments are quite unstoppable. Recent backbench rebellions however, are evidence to the contrary. This is the legislature in action - a democratic safeguard to executive power. Our MPs should be able to scour each and every piece of legislation with a fine toothcomb to ensure that it once enacted it is effective.

Too often we see bills pushed through parliament too quickly. Once enacted such legislation can prove quite useless and even damaging, because MPs have not had the time to scrutinise every article. In light of the radical proposals of the current government, this scrutiny will be of paramount importance. MPs need to put in the hours.

“It is MP’s duty, as our representatives to make all voices heard.”

It is also important that our MPs are seen as giving value for money. One cannot be surprised that the PR-obsessed have not noticed this sooner.

High wages coupled with long holidays do not paint a good picture, particularly when they use this spare time to further line their own pockets. It is not unheard of for democratic representatives to continue working as lawyers or

private consultants, even columnists, while away from Westminster. Are they being paid too much? Or are some honourable members failing to match pay to performance? The latter appears the more accurate.

It is understandable for MPs whose constituencies are beyond the Home Counties to want the time to work for their constituents. In Britain this is an essential part of the system. But to ensure this does not override their primary function, they must work harder for longer once back in Westminster. It is their duty, as our representatives, to make all voices heard. It is also their duty to make the law a tool for effective governance and not a hindrance to the British people who ultimately deal with its consequences. The time and effort they devote to this privileged position must be increased

SABINE KUCHER

NO T .

hink MPs work too little or not hard enough after this week’s news? Wait before you rush to demand longer working hours for MPs. Let’s look at the facts: The House

of Commons sits around 150 days a year. Anyone in full-time employment works around 240 days a year, depending on how much leave you get. This might look like a huge disparity, but it just takes days into account when The House of Commons is in session. Usually MPs split their time between Parliament and working in their constituency.

Most MPs spend the week in Westminster attending debates, considering

“On average, an MP gets about 1,000-1,100 letters and emails a week, and many get more on top of this”

and proposing new laws, and questioning the government on behalf of their constituency.

MPs also spend a considerable amount of time investigating issues that they have been made aware of by their constituents. There are a lot of queries to get through, especially since a source from Parliamentary Outreach recently told me that on average an MP gets about 1,000-1,100 letters and emails a week and many get more on top of this.

MPs then spend Friday afternoons and the weekend in their constituency.

Many hold surgeries in their office or even in supermarkets, where local peo-

ple can come along to discuss any concerns they might have.

They also attend local events to ensure that they know what their constituents want and put it into a wider context.

Usually they give up their evenings too.

Chi Onwurah, MP for Newcastle Central, regularly comes and speaks to students on campus even if there are just five people in the room (Trust me on this, I went to a talk she gave on Green Technology in the North East).

And that’s BEFORE they do any work for the party. They work a lot more than your average 9-5, albeit for better pay.

So hands up anyone who wants that job, paying £65,738 before tax?

Does this still sound like a great deal?

Well, I don’t think so. It comes with a general suspicion from the general public that you are basically a money-grabbing, spineless apparatchik.

And it’s fine for the media to drag your private life through the dirt - that is if you still have one after working all those long hours.

If you still think MPs should work harder or longer hours, I ask you this: Do you think the quality of the work they deliver will actually improve? Talking to people about their issues takes time, as does drafting and voting on laws. They need to consult experts and constituents and think of every eventuality. Rushing any of this doesn’t seem like a great idea to me.

Now I’m not saying that all MPs are brilliant – some could definitely work harder. But most of them have a real passion for the job. If not, surely they would have found an easier job with a six-figure salary, where they wouldn’t be thought of as a money-grabber and chased after by the media waiting to drag their names through the dirt.

12.comment Bangladeshi Building Collapse 70 people were killed and 200 injured when a building on the outskirts of Bangladesh’s capital Dhaka collapsed on Wednesday. Rescue workers have been working frantically to free those still trapped inside, and hospitals have been overwhelmed with the number of casualties.

Many people were lifted out of the building using lengths of fabric from the factory, and onlookers lifted rubble with their bare hands.

According to Bangladeshi media, the textile factory owners ignored a warning not to allow workers into the building after a large crack appeared. The BBC reports that buildings in Bangladesh are often constructed contrary to safety regulations.

Chinese Police Kills 21 people have died in Barchuck county in the Western Province of China in a gun fight between police and locals. The police were searching local houses for illegal knives when the fight broke out. Among the dead were police officers, social workers and civilians.

The Chinese government and the state-owned media have reported that the police knife raid was part of an investigation into terrorist attacks which a gang in the area were planning. However, unofficial sources have contradicted these claims, saying there is little supporting evidence.

Monday 29 April 2013

The Courier

Libyan French Embassy Bombed A car bomb has exploded outside the French Embassy in the Libyan capital of Tripoli, killing several civilians and two French guards. Reports say the reception area of the embassy has been decimated and surrounding buildings were also damaged.

No group has claimed responsibility for the bombing, but French embassies have been on high alert since sending troupes into Mali in January.

Laurent Fabius, the French Foreign Minister, has asked the Libyan Government to act quickly following the “odious act.” A local resident said “it was a big mistake to site the French embassy in our neighbourhood.”

WORLD AT A GLANCE

Syrian Bishops Kidnapped The Syriac Orthodox Archdiocese of Aleppo say the two bishops who were kidnapped have yet to be freed, and that they have had no contact with their abductors.

The bishops were taken near the Northern commercial and industrial region of Aleppo; an area contested by the Syrian rebels and supporters of the Syrian Government, under President Bashar al-Assad.

The Telegraph reports that the conflict in Syria has so far killed over 70,000 people, and President Obama has recently announced that he will work with neighbouring countries to stop the violence and remove the Syrian President.

Elizabeth Archer

Image: NASA (Wikimedia)

A problematic hierarchy

With regards to media coverage of the Boston bombings, Johnny Farrar-Bell discusses whether some deaths ‘matter’ more than others JOHNNY FARRARBELL

A

poignant photograph appeared on the internet last week. It showed a group of Syrians in the remains of a bombed out house with a banner that read: “Boston bombings represent a sorrowful scene of what happens every day in Syria, do accept our condolences.”

Indeed a thought-provoking image.

Does it show how western-focused our media is, how fickle and easily bored we are as an audience to atrocities, whilst doubling back with shock when they occur closer to home? Do we accept that war is the status quo in countries such as Syria and therefore not pay attention? Yes and no.

Yes – in a sense it is scandalous that we are more interested and devote more column inch to bombings that happen in the Western world than the Middle East. They are both equally a disaster for the families involved. I suppose that this phenomenon does show that we are a fickle public. Who knows how many people died in Syria on the day of the Boston Marathon? I doubt anyone does for sure. Did Syria even get a mention in the news? Probably little or nothing was reported. Old news… I presume that’s what the station controllers would argue. Yes, but still news, and shocking news at that.

But it is also natural that Syria received such little coverage in comparison to Boston. Something that has become seemingly (as sad as it is to say it) a matter of course in the Middle East – such as bombings and civil war – however awful, will never shock us, and receive the obligatory media attention, as much as an unexplained act of terror such as the Boston Bombings. It seems the public can reach a saturation capac-

ity when it comes to news stories. Think of how little global warming or Iraq for that matter is mentioned now. So it is with Syria now. We have all grown up with ‘Violence in the Middle East’ imprinted on our collective memory. As with school-shootings in America; this regularity sadly numbs the impact of new events and therefore the extent of their media coverage.

“It shows how fickle and bored we are as an audience to atrocities” But it is something new and completely unexpected that generates shock and interest. Such as when someone pretends to push you off a cliff and says ‘saved your life’ – as my father once kindly did to me, removing a particularly recurrent bout of hiccups! The Boston Marathon bombings caused such bewilderment, and subsequent press attention, because it occurred at a marathon – a charity running event – a good cause for which no ounce of American Imperialism is associated.

Yes, it is certainly true (and lamentable), as the Syrians articulated to us, that this is what happens every day in Syria. But it doesn’t happen every day in the US and certainly not during a marathon.

So, we and the Western press need to prevent ourselves from drifting into the mindset of becoming insensitive to atrocities committed in other countries just because they seem to be a regular occurrence. But let’s not feel guilty and lambast the media for feeling more shocked and giving more attention to some events more than others.

The Courier

comment.13

Monday 29 April 2013

BIG DECISIONS The motion will be voted on in Union Council on May 2nd, 5pm.

Image: Laura Wotton

FREDDIE CALDWELL WHERE’S YOUR FRED AT? #1- No likey, no bitey

Should NUSU introduce a “No Platform” policy?

In the light of NUSU’s proposed “No Platform” policy prohibiting certain organisations from airing discriminatory views, Aaron Hedjazi and Jack Burton discuss whether this could be successful in promoting multiculturalism and equality AARON HEDJAZI

YES A

no platform policy has been criticised as old-fashioned in politics as a whole lately, but the NUS would stand to benefit as a whole from a No Platform policy toward extremist groups like the BNP. The fact is that extremists need to be opposed full stop, because of what they believe. Parties like these are different from all other ones because they have a moral compass and tend to focus on the issues of the day. The BNP’s politics are as old as the moon, since it’s a politics of incrimination; wherever they go, confusion and disorder follow.

Passing up this no platform policy will essentially legitimise their extremist views, and with regards to the argument that we should defeat the likes of the BNP by debate; there is no point in defeating them by debate if this means their profile will increase.

This was seen with regards to when Nick Griffin appeared on the BBC’s Question Time, as he turned in a poor performance, yet polls showed that his recognition had actually increased as a result of him just being on the show.

They have no grounds to speak, as they have no widespread political representation. And a trend in any representative positions they do hold, is that a low turnout is present.

Mainstream political parties argue on the foundation of universal aspects of politics; matters like the economy, tax, crime, and education.

Groups like the BNP – and sad to say, even a legitimate party like UKIP – merely use their exposure as a chance to rant about a single issue. I ask what

the Union could gain from providing a platform for groups like the BNP, if they were just to come and talk about just about everything except for what is really relevant to student politics.

The idea here isn’t that students aren’t thought to be smart enough to make up their own minds about politics, but the main notion is that these views are just

“Passing up this No Platform policy will essentially legitimise the BNP’s extremist views ”

so unacceptable and offensive they cannot be given a “platform”.

Overall, whenever extremist groups like the BNP and EDL make an appearance in town, it also causes a burden to the taxpayer, as well as to the peace. The EDL protest from 2010 amounted to £100,000s worth of police costs, and as always, attracted trouble.

The Students’ Union has a duty of care toward its students, and should extend this welfare through the use of this noplatform policy.

It is seen that extremists should have no place in the peaceful arena of student politics - should they be allowed to broadcast their views in such a legitimate manner? This in turn would provide a conflict with the Union’s efforts in maintaining positions such as Racial Equality Officer.

This no-platform policy will make campus politics a much safer amphitheatre; when the views of the likes of the BNP’s are not legitimised by the Union, they will not be provided with a tool for propagating chaos.

JACK BURTON

NO T

he Students’ Union Council is set to vote on Thursday on whether to implement a no platform policy for members of extremist groups including the BNP, the EDL and Hizb al-Tahrir.

SU Officers would be barred from sharing a platform with members of any of these groups; while societies and clubs would have to forgo grant money to share a platform, effectively banning these groups from campus.

The policy is being posited to avoid accusations that the Union is advocating fascism, homophobia or hate speech.

But the policy represents a fundamental abrogation of the duty that the Union has to its students, to expose them to a plurality of views, not just from those within university but throughout society, in order to help them develop into well rounded individuals with a keen sense of and active engagement in society.

The argument also rings hollow when climate change deniers, homeopaths and other anti-democratic groups may speak at the Union freely.

The motion further smacks of cowardice, of a fundamental lack of faith in students to perceive why these groups’ views are wrong and challenge them democratically. It is not the place of the Students’ Union to decide what students can and cannot cope with; it is the role of students themselves.

Banning this speech from campus does not make it go away; and leaves students less aware and less capable to deal with hateful behaviour when they leave university.

The BNP in particular hold seats at the European parliament; whether we like them or not they stand for the views of a significant part of the British electorate and those people have a right to have their voices heard.

These groups in particular feed on narratives of marginalisation and oppression, finding people on the margins of society and convincing them that all their problems are the fault of an easily identifiable ‘other’, whether it be immigrants for the BNP or secular society for Hizb al-Tahrir, and that conventional politics is antagonistic to their interests.

No Platform policies simply reinforce the paranoid narratives of oppression and exclusion that sustain these groups and remove any chance that their rank and file members, who often are not fully bought into the ideology, can actually meet and talk constructively with people from the groups they rail against.

Nor should we have anything to fear from allowing these groups to make their case to students. Support for groups like the BNP plunges as their legitimacy rises, as they can no longer rely on narratives of victimhood and oppression, and careful scrutiny of their positions exposes them for the hollow shambles they are.

This motion is not the same as banning incitement to hatred; nor should the Union allow the bullying and intimidation of its members. Specific targeted threats are about denying speech to your opponents by undermining their legitimacy to act and speak on a given platform; but no-one would confuse rhetoric calling for less immigration with exhortations to ‘remove the immigrant menace from our towns and neighbourhoods’. Indeed the former is part of a legitimate debate that is stifled by the same fears that drive this motion and push fearful indigenous low-income voters into the hands of the BNP and the EDL. This motion represents a cowardly evasion of the problem by the Students’ Union and will do nothing to tackle currents of bigotry, either on or off campus.

Biting is not something that is usually viewed as acceptable in adult society and so there is no reason to suggest that it is a remotely reasonable thing to do as part of a game of football. The FA has now handed a 10-match ban to Luis Suarez for biting Chelsea player Branislav Ivanovic but there are some who have sought to defend the Liverpool striker.

Teammate Pepe Reina has labelled the ban “absurd and unfair” whilst manager Brendan Rodgers described it as a punishment “against the man, rather than the incident”. It is true Suarez has had a controversial past which includes a previous biting incident in addition to various other misdemeanours, however, this does not mean that the FA’s decision is disproportionate or wrong.

It is a cliché to suggest that footballers should behave well because they are role models, but the fact remains that millions view their actions on the field and this heightens the importance of good behaviour. Players are rightly criticised for diving but that is a miniscule offence in comparison to biting.

Thankfully, Suarez’s bite did no lasting damage, unlike several other offences that have been given smaller bans in the last year, perhaps most notably Callum McManaman’s tackle on Massadio Haidara, which injured the Newcastle player for several weeks that went unpunished. Although this was a clear error on the part of the referee and the FA, it is not necessarily the case that punishments should be proportionate to the level of damage that the player inflicts on an opponent.

Most sports, including football, are inherently dangerous activities on some level and it is often the case that injuries can be caused through no fault of any of the players. A footballer should be allowed to make a tackle and punished to some degree if they get it wrong because this is part of the game, however, biting has no place in the game and so it should be viewed as a far more serious offence.

There are parallels with the Suarez incident to another event which took place in a rugby game several weeks ago where Bath player Peter Stringer was spat on by fellow scrum-half Jerome Fillol, an offence for which the Stade Francais man received a 14-week ban.

Again this is a far greater punishment than that received by several rugby players for actually injuring fellow sportsmen, but it is the correct punishment because spitting is not only disrespectful in itself, but it also has no place in the game of rugby or any other sport (apart from the obscure Afrikaner activity of Kudu dung spitting).

Coincidentally, Mike Tyson choose to follow Suarez on Twitter following the biting debacle, a man who certainly knows a bit about chewing on other humans. Tyson earned instant notoriety and was banned for a year after biting Evander Holyfield in 1997, which is hardly surprising given the serious nature of the offence.

Suarez is an excellent footballer and there are few that would wish him to stop playing the game. However, it is completely correct that he should receive a significant ban for such an abhorrent physical attack.

14.features

Monday 29 April 2013

The Courier

You can go Ward or you can go home

Feeling jealous of all your mates who have plans for after they graduate? Since finishing his English degree last summer, Tom Ward has won a prestigious writer’s award, met Muhammad Ali and is about to release his debut novel A Departure. Chris Binding spoke to him about his first year post-uni

F

or many individuals, a trip to university can be a life-changing experience - a chance to re-invent yourself, experiment and prepare for life in an ever-changing world. But imagine if that world was characterised not by opportunity, but by immediate anarchy, death and violence.

Would you have what it takes to survive?

This is the question Newcastle English graduate Tom Ward asks in his debut novel A Departure, a dark methodical human drama described as ‘28 Days Later meets Lord Of The Flies minus zombies’.

The story follows teenage protagonist Michael setting off on a journey to escape a post–apocalyptic England recovering from devastating human loss at the hands of an unknown disease. As a novel defined by discovery and exploration, the theme of ‘the journey’ is one that resonates with Tom’s personal experiences, writing the novel across over five years between solo globe-trotting and studying at Newcastle.

“I certainly think university fed into the narrative,” he explains. “I wrote the majority whilst at university and really, the whole novel centres around Michael leaving home and finding his way in the world, which many of us come to do when we leave for uni.”

Although most people’s gap years end up as another stale notch on a CV, it appears Tom’s experiences travelling alone through India and Mexico fed directly into the imagery of isolation sprinkled throughout the prose.

He elaborates: “Travel is absolutely necessary and should be part of any young person’s experiences.

The more you know of the world, the more you’ll be able to write about. In terms of my own trips, I took some long journeys, hitchhiking through Northern Mexico and feeling like a tiny speck of dust in a huge country, or seeing a Hindi funeral service in India Varnassi where they burn human bodies in front of you. Seeing a human body burning is not something you’ll quickly forget.”

Viewing the world with a literary eye is certainly something that fuelled the social criticism of A Departure; from a terrifying set piece in a refugee camp led by a corrupt MP and violent soldiers, to small town bigotry and racial hate crimes, no–one is spared the author’s critique.

“I can’t claim I know enough about politics to be able to speak about MPs with authority, but they do seem like a slimy bunch. I think a lot of MPs are so patronising that it’s hard to really connect with them and feel like they’re speaking to you, or have your best interests at heart.”

With the scathing metaphor of a politician running a prison camp and small town mobs beckoning shambling hordes of undead, the imagery of freedom and imprisonment also feeds into biographical elements of the horrors of provincial town stagnancy.

“I’m from a small town and a lot of people here seem to think the sun rises on one side of the town and sets on the other. No-one should want to spend their life in a small town. The first two or three chapters are pretty close, geographically even, but I purposefully didn’t name the town as I think the feeling of wanting to escape is something a lot of young people can relate to, and then when uni comes, it’s a breath of fresh air.”

As character Michael’s dreams of escaping to pastures new become a reality though the literal apocalypse, Tom sees a strong identification with his protagonist Michael that has grown and developed along with his own university experience.

“I was 18 when I started writing and put myself in the protagonist’s shoes. Although Michael is 18, he quickly meets older people and the novel broadens out to society as a whole. But I think 18 is a natural age for people to start looking beyond their garden fences and wanting to know what’s out there. Also, none of us feel young or incapable at 18, it’s an age when you think you can handle anything.”

Yet despite starting the novel with rough ideas pre-university, it was an arduous journey getting the novel from concept to publishing quality.

“I started when I was 18 and wrote maybe four chapters, then it sat on the back burner until uni.

I wrote a little bit in second year, but didn’t really knuckle down until third year. I finished it in February 2012, tried to get an agent, but couldn’t - thankfully I have one for my second book - and then I sent it to some indie publishers. I was actually in Norman Mailer’s house last November (as part of the GQ award) when Crooked Cat sent me an offer. I wasn’t sure at first, but I emailed Tony Parsons and he said I should do it. Then it took a good few rounds of edits to really make it the best it could be, then we had to pick artwork and sort a few formatting issues. It took just over a year all in all. In terms of research, I had to find out about how a human body decays, and what would happen with things like the loss of water and power in such a scenario.”

With a very blatant, cheeky reference to classic horror Dawn of the Dead within the novel, Tom was adamant when writing to avoid both the dreaded ‘Z’ word and clichéd set pieces, in-

“It was tempting, but I didn’t want to write a zombie book. It would restrict it to ‘horror’, rather than just a book about people.”

“You have to write what you enjoy first and foremost”

The Courier

features.15

Monday 29 April 2013

A Departure The Verdict:

From Kerouac to McCarthy, the cliché of the ‘allegoric journey’ has become a common trope in contemporary literature, consuming plots and characters in results of varying quality. Yet sometimes writers can take even the most banal, predictable themes and, with the right amount of taste, create something truly engaging.

The same can be said of Newcastle graduate and recent GQ Norman Mailer Student Writing Award winner Tom Ward in the wake of his recent novel A Departure, treading the familiar road of post–apocalyptic young adult fiction and its requisite anarchy, paranoia and violence, with an original humanist flair.

A Departure focuses upon protagonist Michael setting off on a journey to escape the UK after an unknown phenomena wipes out half the population, leaving the country in physical and spiritual ruins. The novel is a tale of loss, redemption and experience, switching fantasy for realism and shambling zombies for sharp observational satire.

As a novel that takes the reader on an all–expenses trip across England by way of horrifying encounters and staged set pieces, Ward skilfully explores some of the UK’s real tensions that most depressingly characterise normal society. From paternal instincts turning self-destructive, small-town ignorance and un-policed racism, the immediate scenes strike an innate fear of living in a world populated by undesirables who are too psychologically damaged or ignorant to form communities. When communities are explored, in a ram–shackle shanty town led by a local MP, the results are much like the 2008 Leeds Festival riots - claustrophobic, anarchic and bursting with flames.

“It was an honour to meet Muhammad Ali, he’s a true icon”

A Departure stews elements of horror, social commentary and comedy into a brilliant work of contemporary fiction

Photo: James Mullinger

stead grounding his novel in human emotions and providing a strong pallet of character types to accompany Michael on his odyssey.

“It was tempting, but I didn’t want to write a zombie book. Although shows like The Walking Dead are great on making it about the characters, I thought making the threat zombies would take away from that too much. Also, it would restrict the book to ‘horror’, rather than just a book about people, or however you want to classify it.”

While the term “book about people” may seem a little self–depricating, A Departure is a lot more complex, filtering observational critique through scenes where Michael’s nerves, patience and humanity are pushed to the limit by the potential

atrocities humans can commit given the right circumstances. Yet despite this, the novel is surprisingly positive for a genre normally characterised by nihilism, offering potential solutions in even the most harrowing of situations.

“I think my outlook is generally positive. You see horrible things happening on the news, like the recent events in Boston, but the way people rally together has to be uplifting. I think society might fall apart though, at least for a while, until some sort of ruling body could be established.”

While the horrific sequences are handled with genuine skill and foresight, the slow–burning scenes often come from the freedom of a world without rules. Tom acknowledges filmmakers George A. Romero and Danny Boyle as storytellers that “turn normal places into fantastic environments just by offering their characters that much more freedom and free reign over the places we all live in.”

He also calls Cormac McCarthy - the “greatest living writer today” - his idol, drawing from a literary tapestry cultivated at Newcastle University.

“The course at uni was fantastic, because it introduced me to writers I never would have read of my own accord and massively expanded my horizons.

I’ve thanked a few people in my book, but James Proctor was a great lecturer who I had a few classes with. I’m sure I borrowed parts from a lot of the novels he introduced me to.”

Yet modest literary references cannot stand on their own without raw talent, which was officially recognised last year with Tom winning the prestigious GQ Norman Mailer Student Writing Award.

The achievement undoubtedly opened many doors, including a publishing deal with Crooked Cat Books and the opportunity to mingle with influential industry names.

Tom reflects: “It felt insane. I received the email when I was in Berlin, so I felt a bit disconnected and didn’t really think it was real. But it was an honour to meet Muhammad Ali, he’s a true icon. I was also lucky enough to meet director Oliver Stone and he was fantastic. I’ve e-mailed him a few times and he always replies, as does Tony Parsons, they’re so grounded for such big names.”

With a second novel City of Arsonists - a ganglaced ‘punk’ book with echoes of Fahrenheit 451 - in editing, a literary agent and an abundance of ideas, Tom remains down-to-earth despite his recent success.

“I think you have to write what you enjoy first and foremost… The more you read and the more you write, the more you’ll pick up. Good films are great for thinking about how a scene is set up. In terms of publishing, it’s a subjective business, so if one agent doesn’t like it, it doesn’t mean another won’t love it.”

With an un–pretentious style, poignant characters and a great take on the contagion narrative, A Departure believably explores the human heart nestled within darkness, and is a memorable debut from a confident and original literary voice.

As a writer at the cusp of his own departure into the industry, open to script–writing and film adaptations of his work, Tom’s personal summation of his novels message is a pertinent reminder of his own journey and a message for aspiring writers.

“I think it’d be nice if people read it and knew that even if things are tough, there’s light at the end of the tunnel. I think things happen in cycles, so just keep going and it won’t be long before you’re back on top.”

A Departure is officially available in paperback and as an eBook via Amazon from 3 May. You can follow Tom on Twitter @RenegadeViper.

In a world where violence is currency - an opening scene sees the protagonist smashing a stranger’s head in with a rock - Ward’s skill in peppering the narrative with moments of emotional power via flashbacks is much a narrative of growing up in and adapting to a harsh world, without compromising your humanity. From intensely powerful scenes including Michael’s last words with his grandfather to finding love with a certain survivor, the characters and seemingly predictable structure of the novel are strengthened by honest dialogue, beautiful imagery and even the odd modernist dream sequence.

As a novel written both before and during Ward’s time at university, the story truly resonates with a student generation, often unrecognised and constantly having to justify themselves to the world.

While recognising that maturity must come with sacrifice, loss and physical stars, A Departure is unexpectedly optimistic for a post–apocalyptic narrative, potentially suggesting that apathy itself is detrimental to changing your immediate situation, while action speaks louder than words.

Refusing to back himself into any generic corner, A Departure showcases Ward’s talent to craft an intelligent and effortlessly readable human drama, stewing elements of horror, social commentary and comedy into a brilliant work of contemporary fiction.

Echoing the words of Hemingway, the prose is ‘honest and pure’ and lacking the pretentious self-referentiality you would associate with English graduate fiction, with the book being a hybrid animal engaging on both a narrative, humanist and intellectual level. The novel truly is ‘a departure’ from the pre-school politics of The Hunger Games: horror-evoking, thought-provoking and a recommended addition to the wastelands of post–apocalyptic fiction. With the writer routinely in contact with directors such as Oliver Stone, let’s hope the inevitable movie adaptation is more faithful than the upcoming World War Z. Chris Binding

16.fashion

Monday 29 April 2013

The Courier

Fashion Editors: Elissa Hudson and Lizzie Hampson Online Fashion Editor: Sally Greenwood

Campus Fashion Course: Chemistry Year: 3rd

Course: Biology Year: 3rd

Top: Topshop, £22 Dungarees: vintage, £15 Shoes : Topshop, £62 Necklace: New Look, £7 Bag: present Knitwear: present

Maxi Dress: H&M, £15 Denim Jacket: Topshop, £32 Belt: vintage. £5 Bag: ASOS.com, £32 Total cost: £84

Total cost: £106

Grace Johnson

Hannah Dale

Hannah Walsh scours campus for this week’s most fashion-forward students

Grace: “My white Converse have been a staple in my wardrobe for as long as I can remember and I’m really into floral prints at the moment, so this dress is perfect for spring!”

Hannah: “I found these dungarees in a vintage shop last summer and they’re a really key piece for spring. I also love this old cardigan of my Gran’s, it’s super cosy and goes with absolutely everything!”

Grace channels bohemian chic to perfection by opting for a delicate floral maxi dress paired with an acid wash cropped jacket. What really stands out about this look is the detail around the waist; the leather belt instantly gives the outfit a refreshing vintage edge and the classic white Converse add that casual touch.

Hannah has combined an eclectic mix of fabrics, bringing together her bleach wash dungarees and a floral crop with a cosy chunky knit thrown on for good measure. Opting for a statement necklace to channel her inner rebel, this keeps the look super chic. She proves that staying warm on a fresh spring day doesn’t mean looking bland.

Summer lovin’: ball accessories

Finding the perfect accessories to go with your ball dress can often prove to be a challenge, Kate Errington gives us her top tips for adding something extra to your outfit

4.

Clutch Bag A little clutch bag is essential for the summer balls—somewhere to keep your purse and camera (as last time I checked, not many of ball gowns have pockets). Diamanté detailing will add a bit of sparkle to a simple dress, and means you don’t have to go to town on the jewellery. Another useful addition to look out for when buying a bag is a hidden shoulder strap, instantly turning a clutch into a shoulder bag, meaning you could use it on a night out (there’s little worse than spending money on clothes you’re only going to wear once especially on a student budget!)

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Shoes When buying shoes for a ball I always consider whether I’ll wear the shoes again. And not just whether I would, where I would, and for what occasion. Only then do I buy them. Whether strappy or block heeled, high heels or mid heels, wear what you’re comfortable in and what you feel is appropriate for the ball. Try to choose a neutral colour as this gives you loads of options for colour combinations, and doesn’t restrict you to a certain outfit. An important tip to remember is never choose shoes the exact same colour as your dress.

Jewellery Metallic or diamond headbands look gorgeous with a floaty number to complete a summery Grecian goddess look. Headwear is often forgotten when it comes to accessories but it is definitely worth remembering. Jewellery is another option for accessorising your gowns. If your dress is quite embellished or detailed then I would opt for minimal jewellery, perhaps some stud earrings or a minimal pendant. However, if your dress is simple there are loads of ways to dress it up, maybe with a statement cuff or necklace.

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Never choose shoes the same colour as your dress 1. Accessorize, £12 2. Primark, £4 3. Accessorize, £15 4. Dune, £45 5. Accessorize, £27 6. Accessorize, £45 7. Dune, £80 8. Office, £68

The Courier

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Monday 29 April 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Fashion

Belle of the ball

As summer ball season approaches Rebekah Finney gives us some ideas as to what type of dress to go for and where to find them

NE1’s Newcastle Fashion Week: The Highlights NE1’s Newcastle Fashion Week runs from 11- 18 May with events running across Newcastle city centre. Here’s a few details of the ones we’re most looking forward to...

Left: Miss Selfridge, £79 Right: Miss Selfridge, £49

Left: ASOS.com, £85 Above: Topshop, £65 Throw it back to the 50s and grab yourself a pretty prom dress for the ball, nothing will make you feel more feminine and fabulous. The prom style dress has been a black tie favourite for decades; the structure of such a dress flatters the hourglass shape of a woman, pulling you in at the waist and going out at the hips in an A-line style making hips and legs look slimmer. If you’re feeling adventurous then why not opt for a real vintage prom dress? ASOS Marketplace does a great selection, as do online vintage shops Bang Bang Vintage and Liberty Blue Clothing. If you venture down Grey Street and take a turn in to one of the alleys by the cash machine, there are some great vintage shops that may just have a few hidden gems. If you’re looking for something more modern, then Lipsy is your best port of call, or try Coast if you have a little more to spend.

Cocktail dresses will forever be in style, they are the ultimate ‘go to’ for every girl when a big event is on the horizon. The great thing about cocktail dresses is that they come in so many different styles and will therefore flatter all body types. This style of dress can be found in any shop on any high-street but this can be a bad thing, you might arrive feeling like Megan Fox in your little red number only to find someone wearing the exact same dress and despite repeatedly telling yourself how much better you look in it you still ending up feeling all your effort has been wasted. To avoid such ‘mares’ invest a little more for something special, I recommend online boutique virgoslounge. com, the dresses are exquisite, the beading detail is beautiful and although they can seem costly you certainly get what you pay for, undoubtedly leaving you as belle of the ball.

Prom

Cocktail Left: missguided. co.uk, £32.99

Left: boohoo. com, £25

Right: Miss Selfridge, £42

Right: Phase Eight, £99

Newcastle Fashion Weekend

11-12 May 11am - 5pm at Northumbria Students’ Union Weekend pass: £5 Day ticket: £3 Two days filled with catwalks, demonstrations, talks, celebrity guests, designer clothes, shopping, stalls and much more. Model scouts will be mingling with the crowd and champagne stalls and cupcake stands will ensure a fashionista feel. Celebrity guests are also being arranged, so keep an eye on the website to find out more.

Martini Manicure Monday 13 May 12pm - 2pm at Fat Buddha Free entry or £20 for VIP ticket

Metro Radio DJs will provide the sound track to an afternoon of pampering, shopping and manicures. The event will include a one off sale, where you can grab discounts of up to 50% off designer brands including By Malene Birger, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Sam Edelman, Vero Moda andFrench Connection.

Northumbria University Graduate Fashion Show 14 May at BALTIC

Showcasing graduate collections in an exhibition as well as a catwalk show, this event is not to be missed by anyone interested in witnessing the work of the North East’s biggest up and coming designer talents.

Eldon Square Catwalk

If you’re feeling fierce and dresses aren’t your thing (maybe you have a bit of an androgynous edge or just don’t want to look like everyone else) be alternative and wear a jumpsuit or playsuit instead of the conventional dress. Sometimes jumpsuits can leave you looking shapeless so make sure you know what style suits you best. Zara have a unique range of jumpsuits, including smart dungaree styles that look great over a chiffon blouse. If you love getting your pins out, then go for a playsuit. Topshop have a great summer range at the moment, and most of them are bright and colourful - perfect for summer! Whether you go for a jumpsuit or playsuit, the requirement is that you must wear heels; your legs will look longer and it will ensure the jumpsuit looks feminine and classy.

Playsuit

I love maxi dresses in summer as they give a relaxed, hippy feel whilst also looking effortlessly chic. If, like me, you’ve avoided the maxi dress for fear of not being 6ft tall and a size 8, do not let this stop you; a maxi dress can look great even if you technically meet the height requirement to be considered a hobbit - simply add some skyscraper heels. If you’re tall maxi dresses will look amazing on your body; you have the option to embrace your height with heels or keep it simple with sandals. ASOS.com and boohoo.com have the most to offer when it comes to maxi dresses and their items are easily returnable if they don’t fit. A maxi dress is a great investment as they look classy and sophisticated at black tie events but can be used again as a simple daytime dress.

Maxi

16 May All day at Eldon Square Shopping Centre Thursday 16 May is a day devoted to shopping, with catwalk shows being held in Eldon Square.

For catwalk timetables and details of promotions visit eldonsquare.co.uk.

The Royal Wedding

17 May at Theatre Royal Free entry but places are limited The ultimate bridal fashion show will be paraded on the grandest catwalk of the week at this luxurious location. Models in bridal gowns will sweep down the upper circle staircase and clothes for bridesmaids, grooms and guests will also be showcased.

The Courier

beauty.19

Monday 29 April 2013

Beauty Editor: Annie Morgan Online Beauty Editor: Amy Macauley

thecourieronline.co.uk/beauty courier.beauty@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Beauty

How To: Product dupes Peaches Annie Morgan shows us how to achieve a spring, peachy makeup look

Some products are worth spending a little extra on (even if it’s just because of the super luxurious packaging), yet in some cases you are spending money on something you could get for a lot cheaper. Kathy Davidson shares her two favourite coral nail polishes - perfect for spring!

Step 1: Base & Brows

Okay, so it’s not exactly going to break the bank but for a nail varnish, in my opinion, this is enough to spend to achieve the standard I’m looking for. I must admit, I’m a bit of a Essie fanatic and genuinely don’t have a bad word to say about the brand.

It’s long lasting, ridiculously easy to apply and their range of colours is endless. I would recommend paying a few extra pounds and getting this durable coral colour. I can guarantee (don’t hold me to this) that you will be an Essie convert and be starting your own collection of their varnishes just like me.

Step 2: Eyes Cheap - Rimmel ‘Rose Libertine’ £2.99

I’m a little bit obsessed with coral at the moment (it makes you look more tanned - what’s not to love?). Nails are a really easy way to embrace trends cheaply and quickly and with a price tag of less than three quid I’m not complaining. My only criticism of this lovely coral colour by Rimmel is its claim of a super quick application time and a requirement of only one coat. I would in fact say it takes just as long as any other nail varnish I’ve ever tried and definitely needs a couple of coats to avoid chipping.

Step 3: Cheeks

Démosthène Lack of sleep is the root cause of all evil. Crabbiness towards everyone, hyperactivity at inappropriate hours, abusing the coffee machine and an unapproachable complexion is not a good look. If you want to smooth out your morning frown-lines and go from puffy-eyed-panda to bright-eyed-belle, sleep better.

One solution is showering or bathing before bed. The body temperature will drop faster with wet hair and hot steam and exercise (sort of) will tire you out too. A soak in bath salts will give the same desired effect, but obviously this option is less vigorous. Also, cucumber eyes in the bath tub are still a true legend. Secondly, remember lavender candles? Maybe your mother snuck one into your leaving bag, as you entered university sober after the last best night’s sleep you’ve ever had.

The magical odour of lavender has been used as a natural remedy for anxiety, insomnia and restlessness since the time English farmers wore lavender flowers on their hats to prevent headaches in the scorching sun – a trend that was sadly discontinued when Paracetamol was born. However, today, lavender pillows are kept in many British hospitals, to keep patients asleep for longer and looking better for visiting hours. Take note: the longer you sleep, the better you look,.

If lavender doesn’t appeal to you, try Clinique’s ‘All About Eyes De-puffing Eye Massage serum, at £20 from Boots. This trusty formula and the fun applicator will roll away puffy eyes and dark circles.

Makeup while exercising?

If you wear makeup to the gym you get accused of being vain and not taking exercise seriously, and if you don’t you end up looking red faced and blotchy. Should you make an effort for your workout, or should you just let your skin breathe while you sweat it out? Hazel Parnell and Charlotte Dickson battle it out

YES - Why wouldn’t you want to look good at the gym?

Blush is essential for this look, I would recommend using an apricot or peach coloured one. I used ELF’s Candid Coral, which is not only affordable but it’s as good quality as my favourite blushes

by NARS. Add a peach toned highlighter (such as MAC’s Soft & Gentle) to the tops of your cheeks.

Step 4: Lips

Nicole Stevenson shares how to get a good night’s sleep - and reap the beauty benefits the next day!

Essie ‘Cute as a Button’ £7.99

I decided to use a medium coverage foundation because the eye makeup and lips are quite light and so I usually find going for a flawless base helps to make the look seem more put together. I also filled in my brows after concealing my dark circles and any blemishes or scarring.

I used a champagne colour eye shadow stick all over my lid, and then placed a rose gold/pink shadow on the outer corner and a light brown in the crease. I then lined my bottom lashes with the light brown shade, and my top lashes with a darker brown. Finally, I applied mascara.

Tip of the week

Obviously I’m not suggesting that you wear masses of makeup to the gym, but for those of us a little more self-conscious than others/have a red face

NO - It causes breakouts!

Though it may seem a good idea at the time and give you a bit of a confidence boost, in the long run (excuse the pun) wearing make-up while exercising is one of the worst things you could do to your complexion. When working out, your pores natu-

problem, then a little bit of makeup can’t really do you any harm. I’ve seen some seriously outrages cases of gym makeup in the form of false eyelashes and bright lipstick (yes really). However, a bit of foundation and mascara can make a big difference to your face if you don’t particularly want to brave the gym with a totally makeup free, especially with all the rowing/rugby babes that frequent the Uni gym. You also wouldn’t want to get a nasty mention on spotted: Newcastle University gym – “Lady with yellow hair, you do not in fact look like Jessica Alba, therefore put some makeup on”.

rally open and produce sweat, so by adding a layer of foundation, or other products over your face, you are forming a barrier that the oil can’t get past.

This then causes the makeup to clog up your pores, which can only lead to spots. Sweat can also make eye make-up smudge, so if you must wear makeup I recommend a good waterproof mascara.

Ultimately, looking good for a short period of time while exercising is not worth it the risk of stubborn spots that take ages to disappear! You go to the gym to work out, not break out.

What we say The perfect matte peach lipstick is Smoked Peach

by Revlon. Add gloss if you prefer a more shiny finish.

Of course when you’re sweating away makeup isn’t particularly practical; it will end up looking streaky and uneven. It also isn’t particularly good for skin, as your pore will absorb the sweaty remains of your makeup (yummy). If you really cannot bear leaving the house without any makeup on then opt for a light BB cream or tinted moisturiser, some lip balm and a waterproof mascara.

20.lifestyle

Monday 29 April 2013

The Courier

Lifestyle Editors: Catherine Davison, Ellie Cropper and Ellyn Bramley Online Editors: Rosie Devonshire and Colette Hunter

Quest for the Best: the Lifestyle writers take on the mission to bring your the best Newcastle has to offer...

Illustrations by Ellie Heggarty

Burger

I begin my quest by the rolling plains of Leazes field, where the Hot Snack Van is looking particularly inviting. After a brief struggle with the Geordie language barrier, I leave burger in hand. Although briefly satisfying, “minimalistic” is the only word that comes to mind, and in the long run only served to worsen my hangover. My next stop: The Fat Hippo in Jesmond. The first few bites take me to burger heaven, with the few lettuce leaves allowing me to pretend that I am eating healthily. Nevertheless, half way through this towering monster, my experience becomes more of a Woman v. Food ordeal. Allow for recovery time. Finally, I venture to the darkest corner of The Gate on a Saturday night to visit the Coast-to-Coast Restaurant. My pulled pork burger proves very tasty as well as manageable, especially when washed down with a Martini. However, one must go prepared to face the swarms of inebriated locals in order to enjoy.

Jenny Cook

Vintage Shop Coming from Manchester and moving to The Toon, I found myself suffering from a bout of home sickness, not from missing people, but from missing my trusty vintage shops. Newcastle has a small selection to offer so it wasn’t difficult to decide who gets the title. It has to be Deep. As soon as you walk in you suddenly feel yourself becoming slightly cooler…OK maybe not, but you get the idea. To me what makes Deep stand out is its selection of clothing with unique customisations done by hand, meaning that you won’t be walking out of the shop as just another Topshop enthusiast. It has a huge selection of shirts, shorts, knitted jumpers and boots for the more ‘out there’ individual, Deep has a huge selection of ‘40s, ‘50s and ‘60s-style dresses. The boy’s collection is second to none; effortlessly cool and chic and what’s more all their items are very fairly priced so you won’t need to go breaking the bank to make a purchase.

Suzie Cassels

Geek chic

Cocktail

As You Like It in Jesmond offers an impressive variety of cocktails. They might not always be the cheapest, but they are delicious and packed full of alcohol, so definitely worth it, especially their Raspberry Ripple which is to die for. It combines raspberry and vanilla flavoured vodkas with apple juice and fresh raspberries. Essentially, it is the ultimate gay best friend in a glass; sweet, fun, fruity, pink, and by midnight it will have you stood on a table singing and dancing along to Madonna’s ‘Like A Virgin’. There’s even a bonus in that it’s served in a martini glass, which always seems like the absolute height of sophistication when you have already had one too many. It basically has everything you could ever want from a cocktail - it’s vodka and it’s yummy!

Rebecca Gregory

Bacon Sandwich

If you ever find yourself needing to cure a throbbing head or an aching heart, look no further than the Fat Hippo Deli. Although I could recommend them for their floral wallpaper alone, they also undoubtedly serve the best bacon butties in Jesmond, perhaps even in the world. Admittedly, I am emotionally attached because buying a butty there with my friend Em was the first thing we did when we moved into our house in Jesmond. The Fat Hippo Deli has since seen me through many a rough morning and I’m unswervingly loyal to them. But regardless of my personal feelings, no one can argue with three rashers of bacon on focaccia for under £3 – especially with a free cup of tea to sweeten the deal! Or, if you really feel like pushing the boat out, you could go for a bacon, brie and cranberry sandwich for just a few pence extra. Mmm...

I don’t even know him that well Elizabeth Archer

Corner Shop The best corner shop in Newcastle does not have flashy gimmicks like promotional offers, a fully stocked freezer, or even a basic level of hygiene. What it does have is heart. It has soul. It a magazine rack stocked with hardcore pornography and year-old copies of Newsagent Retail Monthly (though this has recently been cleared out, the top shelf now proudly displaying five bags of marshmallows). Most importantly of all, in Lenin Pushparaj it has a proprietor who laughs like a dolphin and doesn’t give two shits as to whether anyone actually wants to buy his jars of pickled whelks.

He stocks them anyway. His centrepiece is a 10-year-old DVD player endorsed by Jeremy Beadle which comes bundled with the complete Robocop series, and which sells at a knockdown price of £49.99. I tried to buy it once, but Lenin said it was just a box. He didn’t know where the DVD player was. Lenin also once shut the shop for four days, and on returning explained that he had “just popped to the bank”. Every day I’m more convinced it’s not a shop at all, but a massive post-modern joke. It’s ace.

Tom Nicholson

Greggs Ever wondered what Greggs would look like if it was in Paris? You probably haven’t but bear with me - well, wonder no more! The good people of Greggs have revamped their flagship store in South Gosforth; it’s gone from shabby to shabby chic in one fell swoop. “So, pretty much like the Greggs Café then?” I hear you ask… No, this is still Greggs - everything’s still cheap and pastry-based, just so much tastier. They make quaint little cupcakes TO ORDER and their jalapeño and cream cheese pastry twists are to die for. Inside, there are towers of cakes, scones, savoury pastry, puff pastry, pretty much everything you would find in a Parisian cafe. It almost feels you’re just stopping in to grab a bite before swanning of to the Eiffel tower, until you walk outside again and see Sainsbury’s. Still, this is undeniably the best Greggs in the city, even the old steak bake tastes better.

Well worth the short Metro trip.

Lizzie Hampson

The Courier

Monday 29 April 2013

sex&relationshipslifestyle.21 thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Life

Blind Date: Ed Munno 1st Year Politics meets Jenny Gresty, 3rd Year Architecture

Ed on Jenny What’s your usual type?

Someone sporty, takes life pretty casuall - oh, and not terrible looking.

First impressions?

Well neither of us knew the other was there for a few minutes. So my first impression was relief that I hadn’t been stood up!

Any interesting conversation topics?

We talked about how she found herself passportless in the heart of south-east Asia. Fortunately she did what any good Brit would do; dated a Vietnamese border official in order to gain a replacement British Passport.

Any awkward moments?

I realised she wasn’t also a die-hard fan of Pirates of the Caribbean.

What was her best trait?

With the risk of sounding horribly clichéd, she was really easy to talk to and had a witty sense of humour!

What was her worst trait?

She was northern, with difficult to understand Mancunian lingo.

At any point did you understand why she was single?

No not really, she was an avid football fan so would be right up any decent lad’s street!

Were you tempted to lean in for a kiss?

No I didn’t. Plus the bar was so crowded and dark I may have accidently kissed somebody else.

Would your parents approve?

I’m sure they would like her. Plenty of interests that she would have in common with them so they would have lots to talk about.

What would your ideal date be?

Go to a water park, not the outdoor one, the indoor one with the slides and rapids and shit.

How did the date end?

We thanked each other for it not being the most horrendously awkward experience of our lives to the present day. I’m sure nothing will become of it, but I’d definitely go for a drink again!

Marks out of 10?

7

Jenny on Ed What’s your usual type?

Usually someone who’s in good shape and not overly confident. A cross between Ryan Gosling and Tom Hardy, a rare find I know, especially in Newcastle.

First impressions?

From first impression, he definitely wasn’t my type. He did make the effort to wear a shirt which was good but his hair was stuck on end because he’d cycled to get to the date.

Any interesting conversation topics?

There was a few but straight from the off he was talking about rowing which at first was interesting but because he kept constantly bringing it up, it did get a bit boring- the guy was quite obsessed.

Any awkward moments?

The main one was the fact that when I arrived outside the bar the bouncers knew straight away I was on a blind date and after we’d finished our first drink they asked us how it was going. We just tried to laugh it off.

What was his best trait?

He was half Italian which meant he had a great complexion, if his moves were as smooth as his skin the date would of been perfect.

What was his worst trait?

He went to the toilet a lot during the night, plus each time he did he informed me “Shit I need a piss again”. Not a very good chat-up line.

At any point did you understand why he was single?

Yeah, I’m sure a lot of girls will be attracted to him and want to date him however I think he is currently taken by the boat club and wouldn’t have time for a lady in his life.

Were you tempted to lean in for a kiss?

No. To be honest I think he’d be the most surprised if I did, I think he knew it wasn’t going well.

Would your parents approve?

My mum would because he’s very well spoken but my dad’s obsessed with football; as Ed had zero interest in football I don’t think they’d get along.

How did the date end?

It ended pretty awkwardly, we felt obliged to exchange numbers as that’s the done thing. He did offer to walk me home, showing his gentlemanly side but as he cycled off back to halls I think we both knew they’d be no further contact.

What would your ideal date be?

A trip to Wet and Wild, a bit more fun than Osbourne Road plus I’d get a chance to check out my date’s bod.

Marks out of 10?

4. I’m giving the date a 4, not Ed - he was a nice enough guy but when I go on a date I expect chemistry and romance, on this night there was neither.

Unlucky in love? The Courier is here to help! Send your details to c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

Rebecca Gregory

Survival of the Fallible

#2 - Take a break, procrastinate!

Let this serve as a massive warning to all first and second years out there. Or, for all final year students out there right now – my biggest sympathies! Third year is honestly more stressful than I ever expected it to be, although to be honest, I gave it minimal thought before finding myself here. The pressure to do well, have an epic CV full of amazing experiences, find a job, or apply for postgraduate courses is outrageously demanding. Especially when, like me, you have the world and his missus asking what you’re planning to do with that history degree you paid an arm and a leg for. And no, before you ask, I’m not going to, and will never want to be a history teacher.

To all of you experiencing similar nagging, or if you’re generally feeling anxious about your imminent plummet into the adult world, my recommendation to you all, and myself included is take a break. This obviously also applies to anyone who is currently wallowing in any kind of exam or assignment hell.

And to those lucky few to whom such worries are still a few weeks away and not worth thinking about quite yet (first years, I’m talking to you), you might want to remember this for the end of May. It seems obvious, simple and repetitive advice, I know. But from my own experiences, and from those close to me, we all forget when in major panicmode that a break is even an option. We often claim that we don’t have the time to sleep, never mind taking a break. Not true. By this point, brain cells seem to be dithering around and dying by the second, unable to cope with the tasks you’re presenting them with. So, procrastinate! Procrastinate to your hearts content, because sometimes it really is the best thing to do, for both your work and your sanity.

Procrastination in this modern day is undeservedly frowned upon. Everything is treated as though it must be done efficiently, quickly and without distraction. But, that’s not a sustainable or enjoyable approach to life. Having a break will help you de-stress and sometimes give you a chance to socialise.

When you return to the work-prison (the library), you’ll be doing it with a clearer and calmer mind, and studying should prove a little easier.

So have a brew, reorganise all the furniture in your entire house, go for a drink with friends, make a playlist, or have a power-nap. You’ll find me in bed with a share-size bag of crisps watching New Girl. Whatever you choose to do, relax and enjoy it! Consider yourselves liberated from your work! Take a break, procrastinate and don’t you dare let anyone bring you down for doing it. If they try to, promptly remind them it’s for the good of your grades and health.

Perhaps even suggest they would benefit from doing the same, to help them ditch that stuffy attitude they insist on off-loading onto you.

22.lifestyle

Monday 29 April 2013

The Courier

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_life

The Intern

What really goes on in the world of summer internships...

Gluten free Grace Victoria Sponge As final deadlines are looming, there’s nothing better to keep up morale than a tea break with a slice of cake. Unfortunately, if you’re avoiding gluten, a nice slab of sponge is almost as welcome to your system as those dreaded all-nighters.

That’s why, this week, I’ve chosen to bake a GlutenFree Victoria Sponge…

Ingredients For the sponge: 175g softened butter 175g caster sugar 3 eggs 1 tablespoon gluten-free baking powder A few drops of vanilla extract 1 tablespoon of milk For the butter icing: 140g softened butter 280g icing sugar 1-2 tablespoons of milk Preparation Preheat the oven to 200 degrees C Grease and flour two 18cm cake tins. (A tip I learnt in cookery class at school is to place the cake tin on baking paper, draw around the base with a pencil, and then cut that out. Then the baking paper fits perfectly in the bottom of the tin. This stops the cake from sticking to the tin, which can be a complete disaster!)

Method 1. Beat all the ingredients together in a large bowl until light and fluffy.

2. Spoon the mixture into the tins. (If you only have one cake tin, then you can easily divide the mixture and put the batches in one at a time. It doesn’t make a difference to the cake – just takes a little longer.)

3. Put the tin(s) in the oven for about 20 minutes.

When they have risen and are golden in colour, remove them from the oven and transfer to a wire rack to cool.

4. Once the cakes have cooled fully, you can make the butter icing…

5. Beat the butter in a large bowl until soft. Then beat in the icing sugar and one tablespoon of the milk until the mixture is creamy and smooth. If the mixture isn’t soft enough, just add more milk.

6. Spread the icing over the bottom of the two layers. Next, add a layer of jam (raspberry and strawberry jam are popular choices, but you can be a little creative with the flavour) and sandwich the two cakes together.

7. If you are more of a chocolate fiend (as I know some of you are!), then it is easy to modify the recipe to make a chocolate cake: Simply make the cake as above – replacing 1 tablespoon of the rice flour with cocoa powder.

Though the cake tastes pretty good for a gluten-free version, it is a little dry, and lacks the moisture you get with standard ingredients. This didn’t stop me demolishing the entire cake in one sitting though!

I topped mine with fresh raspberries and blueberries, but you can play around with the decoration.

Make another batch of butter icing to smother the cake with if you’re feeling gluttonous…

Grace Stephenson

#2 The I.T Crisis Never underestimate the severity of an IT crisis.

That was one of the first lessons I learnt in my brief stint in the working world. From my desk on the outskirts of the marketing domain, I had a perfect vantage point of the IT department. They were a divided people; one half were responsible for software, the other for hardware, and neither section wished to concede primacy of importance to the other. I had been told of some of the history of these entrenched rivals. Mujeeb, the leader of the software clan, had previously attempted to persuade management that he could assume the responsibilities of the hardware team in a glorious union of hardware and software, over which he would preside. The attempted coup had been quelled, but Mujeeb’s ambition seemingly had not. The hardware team was comprised of employees from an exterior company; “brightbyte”.

This, I had no doubt, was used as the war-cry of the xenophobic software team.

Restaurant Review Seb’s Italia

These tensions reached a peak with the advent of the IT crisis, which was a problem of hilarious magnitude. In short, something went wrong with the hardware and this prevented people from accessing their company email accounts. This also meant that IT had no means by which to inform everyone that they would be unable to access their emails. A vicious cycle indeed.

Chaos quickly descended on the office. Streams of people flowed to and from the hardware desk enquiring as to what the problem was. The “brightbyte” brigade made frequent and frantic visits to the room in which the company technology was housed, desperately trying to discern the cause of the problem.

The software team went about their work in a delightedly relaxed fashion, undoubtedly taking great pleasure in the panic surrounding their neighbouring desk.

Whilst perusing some fact-sheets for discrepancies, I was able to eavesdrop on a heated

debate that had broken out on the hardware desk. David, a senior “brightbyte” employee, who only came in occasionally, was grilling his subordinates.

Various avenues of repair were being suggested and dismissed. There was real comedy gold to be heard in the snippets of this panicked dialogue. The crowning moment came when the following brainwave was offered: “Have we tried a complete system reboot?” To which David replied; “Frankly I’d feel safer throwing myself off a cliff,” at which time I could no longer stifle my amusement.

Once they had eventually repaired the email system, the hardware team enjoyed temporary office-hero status for having solved a problem of their own making. I couldn’t help but think that an IT department’s work-load was mostly self-inflicted; the only action I had ever seen being required of the group was to repair or correct their own failed equipment and software.

Ryan Weeks

Opening times: Open 7 Days A Week 12pm to 3pm and 5pm to 9.30pm 38 - 42 Grosvenor Road (Jesmond) Newcastle Upon Tyne, NE2 2RP 0191 447 8799

“a plateful of Italian classics [...] great value for the £7” smells were delicious and we were soon tucking in. As a lover of pizza I was pleased to see it was clearly homemade, with a thin, crisp base. It was also nice that they didn’t scrimp on the spice, being a student everything I make seems to taste bland and tomatoey – the kick of flavour from the pizza was a delight.

My friend opted for the pasta dish penne Amatriciana, with pancetta, onions, chillies and tomato. .

It was smokey, a little spicy and very delicious.

Needless to say both of our plates were cleared, much to the delight of the owner who will happily sit down for a chat with you, or leave you to enjoy your meal alone.

We ended the meal full, but with ice cream on the menu and having both picked meal with chilli, it would have been rude not to! We shared a bowl of pistachio ice cream, having been to Italy I know this a mark of a good Italian, and it was delicious.

Overall Sebastian’s offers great value for money, outside of happy hour dishes average about £6. The new student eatery!

Erin Walden

Having lived in Jesmond for three years, I was surprised when I was sent to review a restaurant there that I hadn’t heard of. Sebastian’s Italia is just three months old and is situated on Grosvenor Road, a little off the (very) beaten track of Osbourne Road.

The restaurant is run by the previous owner of Spago and is unassuming when you first approach it.

However, once inside we were greeted by a bright, modern and fresh restaurant and the wafts of good Italian cooking.

We were welcomed by the owner and a friendly waitress who showed us to our table and explained the menu. Sebastian’s does an excellent happy hour deal, with any pizza or pasta from the menu £3.95

between 12 midday and 3pm and 5 – 6.30pm everyday.

As we waited for our food to arrive we were able to take in our surroundings a little more, the restaurant has modern, stylish décor and green, red and white napkins give it an Italian twist. Italian music was also playing, perhaps a little too loudly, but it gave the restaurant a laid back feel.

Our antipasti arrived and it looked beautiful, a plateful of Italian classics and there was plenty for two to share, great value for the £7 it costs.

Amongst it all were meats, wild mushrooms, aubergines, pate and bread.

After a nice pause our main courses arrived, the

The Courier

lifestyle.23

Monday 29 April 2013

Lifestyle Editors: Catherine Davison, Ellie Cropper and Ellyn Bramley Online Editors: Rosie Devonshire and Colette Hunter

Travelling the Unknown: ideas for Summer holidays Photo: Flickr (mroach)

Tips for visiting Lyon

With Mills McKenzie

When thinking of destinations for a mini-break in France, it is easy to default to Paris. Many forget the hidden gem of Lyon.

Located in the Rhone-Alps region, it is only an hour and a half by train from Paris and has its own regional airport, Saint Exupéry which is accessible via budget airlines. You can fly direct from Edinburgh to Lyon with Easyjet in around 2 hours and there is a direct train link from the airport to the main train station, Part Dieu, in the city centre.

There is plenty to do in this compact, but substantial city. From the historical streets of Vieux Lyon, to the commerical district and open parkland of the Parc de la Tête d’Or, there is plenty to accommodate everyone’s tastes.

Best time to go One of the best times to visit is early December during the annual light festival, Fête des Lumières. (http://www.fetedeslumieres.lyon.fr/EN) Many

of the major historical buildings are transformed through a spectacular light show, whilst Lyonnaise residents place candles on their window sills in a tradition that expresses gratitude towards the Virgin Mary . The event is rounded off with a firework display above the famous Fourvière Basilica. It is also the best time to visit the Christmas market at Perrache, with hot chocolate, snails and crêpes on offer.

Places to stay There are several Best Western hotels around the city, which offer affordable stays close to the centre.

Hotel du Simplon, near Perrache, often gets decent reviews on Trip Advisor and is competitively priced compared to major chains. If all else fails, airbnb.com may be worth a look.

the Parc de la Tête d’Or. Featuring an animal park, boating lake and botanical gardens, it is easily accessible - only a 10 minute bus ride from the city centre. Grab an ice cream or take a picnic, it’s a great place to relax and watch the world go by.

Best places to shop For the shopaholics, the shopping centre at Part Dieu is a slightly smaller version of the Metrocentre. It is easy to pass a day here with a range of modern culinary experiences in the food court.

For a more ‘French’ shopping experience, however, Rue de la République is an array with traditional French buildings enclosing well-known brands, whilst a wander down the side streets will reveal a few luxury and boutique shops.

Best place to eat What Lyon is most famous for is its reputation as the gastronomic capital of France. Find any patisserie and the array of macaroons and freshly prepared desserts will be sure to delight. For a more traditional meal head to Brasserie Georges, the oldest Brasserie in the city. The French Onion Soup is to die for. If this isn’t to your taste, there are several traditional French Bouchons throughout Vieux Lyon serving local delicacies and of course, plenty of wine.

Best sights to see The Fourvière Basilica is an iconic sight of the Lyon skyline. Built in the nineteenth century, its location on top of a hill (which is reached either by steps or the funicular), provides one of the best views of the city. It is also worth a look inside with some amazing stained glass on show. Not far from Fourvière there are the remnant Roman Amphitheaters, which also host open air concerts during the summer. Both are reached via Vieux Lyon, this in itself can be a pleasure to wander round with cobbled streets and traditional cafe’s dotted around.

Best place to chill out During the summer months, everyone heads to

Sara Torpy Photos: Flickr (Ana_Rey and Grégoire Menuel)

Mum’s the word

Sometimes, things go wrong. Here’s advice for some of life’s little trials.

Top Advice from Mum

Cleaning Shoes: From heels scuffed against pavements to Converse you think were once white, every student will have ruined a pair of shoes or five.

Well aware mum could help, but determined to avoid that phone call home inviting too many questions about exams and finance, you can clean them up solo using household products. Leather or patent shoes can be quickly and easily cleaned using a make-up wipe, while removing the laces from canvas trainers and washing them at 40 degrees will get out the dirt. For suede, use a rubber to gently erase marks, or a nail file for stubborn stains (and talcum powder works wonders on grease marks from any post night out snacks). Finally, if you’ve been working so hard there’s somehow ink stains on your shoes, use vodka (the cheaper the better) and cotton wool, which might just come in handy during a well-deserved revision break.

Alix Thorpe

Tuesday Total mare - spilt Chablis all over my Macbook while I was looking at the Florita’s photos from last night. Hugo’s looking really fit in all of them, he’s started wearing snapbacks which I love cause its so gritty but you can just tell he’s still got an SW1 postcode. Been in the library again today but totes hate not having my laptop as I can never get my iPad at the right angle to type. Really need Daddy to hurry up and get me a new one. On the bright side they’ve now got sushi in the library café which means I can finally stop ordering in from Nobu.

Wednesday Decided I’ve been working too hard and deserve a night out at TupTup. Went to Blanc first and it had been taken over by the Agrics social, so not cool. Took a b o u t 15 minutes to get to the bar, then I literally turned around for a second to give Kitty her G & T and they’d stolen my Malboro’s. I was going to ask for them back but thought they might shave my head or something and my hairs looking too good at the moment to risk that.

Thursday So hungover but deliberately didn’t wash off my TupTup stamp in case I saw Hugo. Spotted him (4th floor, obvs) but he was sitting in Silent Study so I couldn’t deploy my whispering flirt tactics.

Tried flashing the desk lamp in his face a few times but he was obviously concentrating really hard so didn’t see me.

Candle Stains: There is a reason we have our mum on speed dial. For those

unforeseen, life-shattering moments, mum’s the person to ask. This week, we are going to tackle stubborn wax stains. Better to act quickly, than face your end-of-contract damages bill.

So, your intended romantic night in has been tainted by carpet stains from harmless play. While your partner in crime gets off scot-free, you fear you will be caught red-handed. Well fear not, just place a cotton cloth on top of the stain and press with a hot iron. Make sure you repeat with a clean part of the cloth, so you don’t print the lifted wax onto a new part of the carpet. Job done. That precious damage deposit has not been lost.

Nicole Stevenson

Monday Its exam season again, so everyone who’s anyone is on the 4th floor of the Robbo, when they’re not in Blanc anyway.

Haven’t brushed my hair in three weeks now so am channeling CBBCs Cavegirl circa 2002 – result. Took my hair to the library and spent the afternoon pretending to work but actually partition peeking at Hugo, I met him in London through Kitty and I’m pretty sure he’s into me. So excited to watch Made in Chelsea tonight but so weird cause they’re all friends of my sister’s friend’s brother. I went t o Mahiki with them one time and Spencer was definitely trying it on. The producers approached me but I said I couldn’t fit it in around my busy schedule of going to Blanc, hanging out at Pinetree and writing geography essays.

Elizabeth Archer Lifestyle Editor’s mum

Friday So angry Daddy still hasn’t sorted out my laptop, its totally screwed up my Photostreaming. I made him buy me a new pair of AirMaxs to say sorry (£130 – barg!) but have decided I actually prefer my other three pairs. Finally had to wash my hair after I found a cigarette butt from Wednesday night in it, now have to wear a beanie to hide the healthy shine until I look sufficiently homeless again.

Freddie Caldwell Illustrations: Daisy Billowes

24.listings29April-5May

Monday 29 April 2013

The Courier

Listings Editor: Sally Priddle

Monday

Rise up: Flux 2013 8.45am-6pm Lindisfarne, Kings Gate

Who can enter?

FLUX is open to undergraduate and postgraduate students of any discipline.

You can enter as a team of six or as an individual. If you enter as an individual we will put you into a team.

Cross-discipline teams are encouraged to help give you a mix of skills.

For FLUX 2013, we are looking for up to 12 teams of six students to take part.

What are the prizes?

The winning team will win £500.

There will also be prizes for the best individual presenters and outstanding individual students across the whole day. These individual prizes will be awarded by the business experts, as part of their process of spotting talent.

Tuesday

Holocaust Speaker 5.30pm Armstrong Building 2.98

The History Society will be joined by holocaust survivor Zdenka Fantlova who will be giving a talk on her experiences during the war.

This is a really fantastic opportunity to hear first hand the trauma of one of the most devastating events in living memory.

Zdenka is one of a very small number of survivors left so we cannot stress the significance of such a rare opportunity.

The talk is open to everyone so people take the opportunity to hear Zdenka’s fascinating story. If you would like to find out more before the talk her book, ‘The Tin Ring’ is available on amazon. A book signing will be held, where students and staff can buy the books from her and have them signed.

Bring Me The Horizon 7pm Venue, Students’ Union

Experience rock music as it is meant to be enjoyed: live and loud.

Support by Crossfaith.

Tickets £15 available NUSU reception or online.

Wednesday Give It A Go: Language Taster Spanish 2-3.30pm MLK Room, Students’ Union

A beginner’s session and an opportunity to learn some key phrases and words from the Spanish language thanks to the Modern Languages society. Come along and get a feel for the language, try something new and see if it is something you want to pursue.

Tickets available from the Students’ Union Activities Corridor with refundable £1 deposit.

Great Tyneside Film Quiz 8pm The Tyneside Bar

Push your film knowledge to the outer limits with the legendary Great Tyneside Film Quiz.

Every fortnight we throw the Tyneside Bar over to a night of film trivia and fun brought to you

by Quizmasters Chris Santos and CJ Reay, with the coveted Tyneside trophy hanging in the balance.

Thursday Homemade Jam 8pm

MensBar’s open mic night Homemade Jam is back! The standard rules apply: turn up, listen and play. It’s as simple as that – anyone is welcome, you could win a free bottle of bubbly if you play, and MensBar’s own ‘Mind Over Matter’ real ale will be on sale for just £2.50 a bottle.

Leona Lewis 7.30pm City Hall

Following her world exclusive live performance of her new single ‘Trouble’ on The X Factor Leona announced she is set to tour the UK in 2013, for the first time in three years.

Since her a meteoric rise to global fame, Leona’s incredible voice has captivated millions of people across the world. She’s broken countless sales records and smashed chart records universally.

Tickets from £35 available from City Hall’s box office or website.

The Courier

29April-5Maylistings.25

Monday 29 April 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/listings courier.listings@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Listings

Friday Page to Stage workshop

2pm-4pm Northern Stage

A practical insight into the staging of Northern Stage’s production of Blue Remembered Hills with director Psyche Stott.

Blue Remembered Hills is the BAFTA winning play by Dennis Potter. Potter’s charming and profound play captures humanity, his wicked humour and his fierce intolerance of cruelty, reminding us that no-one is ever truly innocent.

Tickets £6 available from Northern Stage’s box office and website.

The Friday Show 7pm The Stand Comedy Club

There’s no better way to end the working week than with The Friday Show. Our ace comperes, seasoned headliners and roster of up and coming home grown comedians combine in this two hour live show. There are five acts on every bill including the very best comics from the UK and beyond.

Tickets £12 available from The Stand’s box office and website.

Holy Moly and The Crackers 9pm Tyneside Bar

Holy Moly and the Crackers are a young band who play old time music, a homebrew of whiskey galore sea shanties, hillbilly lullabies, bin fire blues, gypsy dances and soul searching ballads. With fiddles, accordians and a pot and pan percussion section, they promise to get The Polite Room stomping.

Mix in some ‘death folk’ from the wonderfully bearded Your Casket Or Mine? and a set from York’s own Joe Solo and we’ve got quite a night.

Entry £5 on the door

Something for the weekend Go Global: Holy Island and Seahouses Trip

8am, Saturday 4th May Outside the Students’ Union

Come with us as we explore the tidal island of Lindisfarne (also known as Holy Island) and Seahouses. Explore castles, take a nature walking boat trip, or just enjoy being out in the nature of Northumberland! Ticket includes the cost of transportation.

Book at the Activities Centre.

Jimmy Carr: Gagging Order 8pm, Saturday 4th May City Hall

Brand new show, brand new jokes, same old Jimmy. Gagging Order promises to be an hilarious night out…let’s see shall we.

The show will be packed with one-liners, stories and jokes. Some clever, some rude and a few totally unacceptable. Everybody’s welcome.

Just leave you conscience, sense of common decency & moral compass at home & come out for a laugh.

Jimmy has sold over a million DVD’s and hosted countless TV shows but live comedy is what he does best, come and see for yourself.

Tickets £25 available from City Hall’s box office or website.

Event of the week

Inner Child Day

Thursday 2nd May , 11am-4pm Outside the Students’ Union

Head down to the students union for a day of de-stressing before the exam period starts. There will be lots of fun activities and freebies as well as help and advice on stress and revision. Activities include: -Bouncy Castle -Petting Zoo -Face Painting -Free Massages -Free Pilates tasters -Basketball hoops -Hula hoops -Free food -Free tea and coffee -Free party bag So don’t miss out!

Something Free:

Picture of the month Talks

6 April- 27 July Laing Art Gallery

Join the Friends of the Laing to find out more about some of the paintings you can see here at the Laing.

Free picture of the month talks take place every Saturday at 11am. You don’t need to book - just meet in the Laing’s Marble Hall to take part.

April - Provençal Landscape, 1929, by Duncan Grant May - Round the Camp Fire by Stanhope Forbes (Please note - there will be no Picture of the Month Talk on 25 May.) June - The Drunken Silenus attributed to Van Dyck July - Man of Sorrows by Durer

NSR: Show of the Week

Northern Connection Wednesdays 2pm

A Geordie and Mackem attempt to work together, taking you through some indie rock classics, new and old, whilst bickering like an old married couple. Great music, even better craic. Howay.

Why people should listen

Seymour’s Gang 2pm The Stand Comedy Club

Uprawr

10pm Venue, Students’ Union

Newcastle’s only proper rock night.

Enjoy rock music with similarly enthusiastic fans, with cheap drinks this is a fresh night that is like nothing else in Newcastle.

Sponsored by Monster and Jagermeister. £5 entry on the door.

If you like to sip your comedy through a crazy straw and enjoy laughing at idiots then come along to Stand Newcastle for a brand new variety show featuring Seymour Mace and his stupid friends.

That’s right! Seymour Mace does have friends and he’s back in Newcastle with a brand new show featuring songs, sketches, jokes, games and fabulous prizes gleaned from the top charity shops the world has to offer.

Seymour’s Gang; you’d have to be as stupid as we are to miss it!

Gang members for the first show will be the following festival of fools; Gavin Webster, Ben Crompton, Alfie Joey.

Tickets from £3 available from The Stand’s box office and website.

For top guitar-based tunes and to hear two local students sniping at each other in North East accents.

Something to look forward to

Spektrum: Nari & Milani and Tom Starr 26 May Venue, Students’ Union

Spektrum is the new clubbing experience, that brings international house and dance talent to your doorstep. This is a night not to be missed, great music, great atmosphere- not your ordinary night out.

Tickets available from NUSU reception or online

26.features

Monday 29 April 2013

The Courier

The mighty Stooshe Ahead of their debut album and their appearance at North East Live, Sally Priddle chats to the girls about the Toon, the traps of fame, and that TLC cover...

T

hey are three normal girls from South London, who shot to fame after auditioning and being scouted in Topshop for a new girl group. Stooshe were nominated for BBC’s Sound of 2012, and although they have yet to release their debut album, they’ve had chart success with their first three singles, all of which went into the top 20. They have been nominated for a variety of awards, including best newcomer at the MOBOs. The girl group are coming up to play North East Live in June, and are excited to experience the Newcastle night life.

“We have been up to Newcastle before on radio tour, and it was lovely as always, but we never got to go out. Alex is obsessed with Geordie Shore - like literally obsessed - so she is excited to experience it firsthand.”

After telling the girls the Newcastle hotspots, they are even more keen to hit up the city and learn why Newcastle is the party capital of England. The group are always looking forward to doing big events and getting together with lots of other bands, seeing large amounts of fans all at once.

Although Stooshe were a manufactured band, they were put together through auditions, work on all their own songs and put the effort in to get their chart success. What, then, do they make of the X Factor way of getting into music? Did any of them consider that route into music?

“I don’t think any of us would ever choose to get into music that way, we know where we come from and we wanted to achieve our success through hard graft. Whereas with the X Factor route you are plummeted into the public eye and they know everything about you, there is a lot of pressure for contestants all the time. I would be really scared.

You literally come off the show, you’re famous and you have to go straight into the studio and make an album. I don’t know how the stars deal with it.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a really big fan of the show. I enjoy it, but I think we’d get kicked off the show for being too mouthy as well.”

Then there’s the way that X Factor contestants are made to live in the same house - Karis laughs, explaining how when the girls were first signed the company tried to get them to move into a house together - an offer they refused.

Though Karis claims it was for the benefit of the group and not because she thinks the other girls are too hard to live with.

“We are together so much and we didn’t want to force it. We love each other way too much, we are more than friends, more like sisters, but that means that we need space. When you are as involved in each others’ lives as we are, you need that time apart. I think you can tell we are close and happy together when we perform on stage. You can always tell if a band don’t get on because they don’t have the right chemistry.”

The Stooshe girls think girl empowerment is a key message to send to their fans.

“Ever since the Spice Girls it has just been part of our lives and is still as special today. We are three girls from South London, we haven’t exactly been brought up in or made for this world of showbiz. We know that we have had an amazing opportunity and we have taken it

and made all we can from it. I think it is time that girls show the boys what we are made of. We don’t have to be bitchy and mean to each other, we can come together and work together in this industry.”

Despite being a group of three strong and confident women, I wondered whether they had still felt pressure coming into an image-conscious industry and whether when they were signed they felt they needed to change who they were and what they looked like. Karis was surprisingly honest about the pressure she had felt to fit in with the media image.

“I would be lying if I said I hadn’t been affected by the media. I think everyone is, if you want to be in this industry you have to make yourself relevant and if you don’t want to make yourself look like you are bigger than you are, you watch what you eat.

Don’t get me wrong, no one can say what is right and what is attractive but if you respect yourself, you look after yourself. None of us are trying to be stick thin but we are trying to be healthy and happy in ourselves. In the beginning we got a lot of pressure to go to the gym and to eat this and that but it is all about being healthy and happy. But there is no right and wrong with the way you look.”

After approaching one sensitive topic, I decide I might as well dive in and ask the question that is on

most people’s lips when they think of Stooshe: why did they cover the infamous TLC song ‘Waterfalls’ and then leave the track off the album? Was it due to the criticism they received or a personal preference of the band? Once again Karis is wonderfully honest in her answer.

“We love that song and we love covering it, we love TLC and their work, they are such an inspiration to us. But it wasn’t actually our choice to put it out as a single. And despite what some people say, it didn’t flop - it still got to the top 20 which is amazing. We didn’t put it on the album because we wanted the whole album to be original and all our work. We love singing ‘Waterfalls’ as a cover, and especially live as an acoustic song but we weren’t happy with it as a studio song. We haven’t said we don’t like it or disowned it, we love the song but we didn’t want to record it as a studio song.’

Whilst we were talking about their musical tastes I ask who their favoured collaboration would be.

“I think if we could collaborate with everyone

ore “Alex is obsessed with Geordie Shex- like literally obsessed - so she is cited to experience it firsthand”

The Courier

features.27

Monday 29 April 2013

alive or dead, then it’d have to be Amy Winehouse, just get up on stage and jam with her. But alive maybe André 3000, get some Motown vibes going through and have fun with us on stage. Kanye and Jay-Z of course, let’s make that happen!”

The girls’ songs have all varied in styles or genres, so I wondered if they thought they were a pop group or something else.

“From the beginning we didn’t want to fit into a box, a bit of Motown does run through the whole album but we aren’t the Supremes or anything. We love loads of different music and have lots of different styles, R&B, pop, there is a little of Caribbean running through some of the songs. But I would say that Motown is a big part of this album, a few songs have a big vibe like ‘Black Heart’ of course and our new song ‘Slip’ also has that tone to it too. I like that people can’t box us too easily.”

Stooshe have yet to release their debut album, having pushed the release date back a few times – something they say they are regularly reminded of in every interview – but fans don’t worry, there isn’t long to wait; the album will be with us on 27 May. But what has taken them this long? ‘We didn’t want to rush anything about it, we didn’t want any of the songs to be album fillers or weak tracks. We wanted to make sure that every song on the album could be a single. We are still working on it, we are even in the studio tomorrow finishing stuff up, making sure that we are completely happy with it. I

am excited for it to be finally released and see what everyone thinks. We have taken a few years of our lives making it, so whatever happens we know we will be happy with it. We just wanted to have no lazy numbers and keep a vibe running through the whole album and now we are really happy.”

We moved on from music to, obviously, the more important questions: who is the best person they follow on Twitter?

“I would say Keith Lemon, he is hilarious. I could throw the names but I am keeping it real.”

And even more importantly, do they go out much, and what are their preferred drinks?

“We are really into cocktails at the moment, especially with lunch. But really we aren’t picky at all, we love rosé.”

I encourage them to visit Sinners and indulge the joys of dodgy £2.50 trebles, but warn them that the alcohol quality might not be what they are used to.

“Oh I am looking forward to it, though I have to be careful. I once went to Ireland, had one drink and was already half cut.”

Setting a good precedent for the girls enjoying Newcastle, I fill them in on the highlights of the city and check whether they have enough experience to cope with nightlife in the Toon - how much time do they get to go out with their busy schedules?

“We make time. Last year we didn’t, we were too busy and didn’t get to go out and enjoying ourselves or make the most of situations. But we have

changed that now, we are making the most of everything we do. If we are on a radio tour we always try and go out somewhere near the hotel. We have a lot of fun together, last year we were so stressed that we weren’t able to have as much fun with it.”

The girls are pretty well known now, so how do they deal with the attention they get on nights out?

“We get quite a few people coming up and asking us for photos. We went out in Liverpool the other week whilst on a radio tour and quite a lot of people came up and spoke to us. But I think that if you act normal then people act normally with you. If you go out and are surrounded by a load of bouncers and take over the VIP area then obviously people are going to treat you differently. We just stand in the middle of the dance floor and have a good time.

We are all normal people, so we aren’t going pretend that we are not. People make it a lot more than it needs to be, we just walked around Liverpool trying to find a good bar. It isn’t the same if you go all diva about it and are stood on your own in the VIP area.”

The girls have lots of celebrity friends, and attend parties with the cream of the crop - have they developed any weird celebrity crushes after brushing shoulders with them?

“I don’t think we really have any weird ones, they are all pretty standard. I fall in love with Olly [Murs] a little bit more every time I see him, he is just so nice and funny. But other than that I have

a big thing for Tom Hardy and Channing Tatum, but they are both very predictable, everyone fancies them.”

I finish up by checking out where the girls stand on a fundamental issue close to my patriotic heart: Kate or Pippa? True to form they come up trumps with my personal favoured answer: “Definitely Kate.”

Stooshe are three girls who know where they come from, know how hard it is to make it in the music business and work hard to make it happen; it’s refreshing to talk to singers who are down to earth and just loving life without thinking they are better than others. Unlike some manufactured girl groups, they seem to truly love spending time and working together, a vibe that is evident in their music and performances. Welcome to a whole new world of girl power.

Stooshe will be performing at North East Live on 22nd June at the Stadium of Light, Sunderland. The show features JLS, The Wanted, Rita Ora and more. Tickets priced from £25 are still available and can be purchased online at www.aeglive.co.uk

28.arts

Monday 29 April 2013

The Courier

Arts Editors: Lisa Bernhardt and Millie Walton Online Arts Editors: Grace Harvey

Peachy, perky and pretty sensational

I

is for illusion. We all remember those illusions that used to confuse and impress us so much – and that, if we’re honest, still do.

Illusions are designed to test our psychological reactions and, as human beings, we are naturally drawn to ways of discovering more about our personality. Illusionary art is incredibly complex and is coming back into the art world with a vengeance. Influenced by the original masters of optical illusion, such as Escher and Salvador Dali, contemporary artists such as Sandro DelPrete and Dick Termes are bringing illusionary art back to mystify and fascinate us all over again.

J

ohn Cage is the American 20th century composer who transformed classical music, making it what it is today through his revolutionary piece ‘4’33’. Composed in 1952, the only stipulation is that the musicians must be present for that exact duration of time; they do not, however, play. Cage argues that it is not four minutes and 33 seconds of silence, but a piece composed of the sounds heard in the environment around you. He also promoted the non-standard use of instruments which, along with the idea of silence being sound, is still a key element in modern classical music.

K

– Masha Karpushina is a Moscow born artist who now lives in London. Her work – influenced by the blurred boundaries between the real and surreal – is exceptional. Recently acclaimed as one of England’s rising stars in the contemporary art world, her new collection, which explores childhood dreams and expectations versus reality, is exceptionally powerful.

Unfortunately, it is being unveiled in Lljubljana, Slovenia. But fear not, selected pieces of her collection can be found here: http://www.mashakarpushina.com/ and I’m sure it won’t be long until we see her work in London.

L

is for lantern festivals. This tradition originated in Chinese myth and has been a celebrated for centuries, occurring annually on the fifteenth day of the first month in the lunar calendar, but over the past few years it has been globally popularised. In recent years the fairly simple lanterns have become increasingly elaborate, in various shapes and colours. The lanterns, art in themselves, are then used to make art when they are released. This tradition, symbolic of hope, is a beautiful sight and is definitely worth checking out.

M

artial arts: a sport or an art form? They are included at the Olympics, but the precision and focus in each movement is similar to dance, as there is just as much focus on the shape of the actions as to where they fall. Capoeria is a Brazilian type of dance that links combat with the grace of dance, demonstrating how closely the two traditions are linked. It originated in the slave trade and was used as entertainment, but has since become a popular type of dance in Brazil and across the world. Capoeria is worth a try, if only for a more unique way of exercising.

Think Zumba, but for James Bond.

Jennifer Hopps

Arts Editor Millie Walton uncovered the real Constance Peach: Burlesque dancer, fashionista and sexy star Burlesque. Even the word sounds exotic, conjuring up images of Dita von Teese, feathers, glitter and giant cocktail glasses. This is a world so removed from the mundane that its hard to believe that the performers are actually real people. Especially when they have names like Constance Peach. How would I know who I was talking to?

Who really was ‘Constance Peach’? I quickly typed the name into google before it was time to call: images of a beautiful blonde woman decorated with pink feathers filled my screen. A flamingo?

“My real name is Alice Foster. Having two names just makes it easier, keeps it separate.”

Miss Peach aka Alice Foster, as it turns out, is a retired lecturer in animal science, who now lives with her two children in Gosforth, but what made her decide to swap her barbour for a corset?

“Well, I took a break from lecturing and had the children, and then I just felt like something was missing. I wanted a creative outlet and though I hadn’t done much dancing, I had always loved performance art and vintage fashion.”

Alice’s lack of dancing experience clearly hasn’t hindered her career though, after entering the North East burlesque scene in 2010 she was met with rave reviews, earning reputation as ‘the peaches and cream of burlesque’, and now she runs her own burlesque extravaganza, ‘Casa Bellini’, at The People’s Theatre in Heaton.

But what makes a good burlesque performer?

“For me, burlesque is an art form so it’s not enough to just

look pretty. Admittedly, you do have to look great on stage, but it’s also about your whole demeanour and committing to the role. I am Constance Peach from the moment I enter the theatre right until I get in my car at the end of the night.”

Constance Peach must have a pretty elaborate wardrobe, where do you buy all your outfits?

“I actually make a lot of my costumes. I like them to be as original as possible. I’m working on a 1920s inspired piece at the moment, which is lime green and peach, but sometimes we need the help of a specialist. As you can imagine, when your job is undressing you need clothes which are easy to take off !”

Ah, the old age issue of trying to undress sexily. I wonder if the mistress of seduction can give me any tips to avoid spoiling the mood with a stuck trouser leg?

Ladies, listen in.

“Take short cuts! If you’re wearing suspenders don’t do all the clips up and don’t be afraid to practice beforehand in your bedroom. Also remember that sexy doesn’t just mean erotic underwear. It can just be wearing a man’s t-shirt with nothing on underneath, try to go for something that’s a bit more sensual.

Confidence is always attractive so take your time and don’t be afraid if you make mistakes. It’s all about the tease!”

Burlesque has the reputation of being a bit sleazy. I wonder if

Miss. Peach ever attracts the wrong type of attention?

“There have been a few shows where the gentlemen have been, well, not very gentlemanly, but its about showing them who’s boss. It’s not a sleazy thing in reality. Mainly girls come to watch the shows. Women like being entertained by real people who don’t necessarily look like they’ve walked straight out of a magazine and with whom they can relate.”

I thank Alice and tell her that my boyfriend and I will be in the audience for her next show. Even over the phone, my apprehension is clearly obvious.

“Just dress up and enjoy yourself. People think they will be put on the spot and made to feel uncomfortable, but we embrace our audience.

It’s like an adult pantomime with comedy acts, dancers, international performers and a vintage market before the performance begins. I mean you will see boobies, but it’s all great fun. We encourage wolf whistling, feet stamping - the works!

Your boyfriend will probably want to buy you nipple tassels by the end of the night!”

Yikes, sounds like I’m in for a pretty exciting evening.

Waiting for the next chapter

Newspapers rarely print novels in weekly installments anymore, so should serial novels make a comeback or remain a Victorian literary memory? Grace Harvey and Charlie Dearnley discuss Bring back the We’re better off serials! without ‘em!

Many of us wait with trepidation and excitement each week, waiting for the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy or The Big Bang Theory after being left on an almighty cliff hanger which will determine the fate of our favourite characters.

Once upon a time, literature too commanded this anticipation and at the height of the fame of the serial novel pioneered by many of our favourite writers including Thomas Hardy, Henry James and good ol’ Charles Dickens.

Between carefully planned spoiler releases, and the sheer simplicity at accessing information we have slowly become impatient readers, forcing this neglected form in the realm of quaint nostalgia. But we have truly lost an exciting way of reading instead we seek immediate gratification, often ignoring what is put in front of us. Our preoccupation with ‘whodunit’ prevents us from appreciating the art of writing in front of us.

Each week, fortnight, or month, readers would finally learn the truth about Miles and Flora in James’ infamous ghost story, and would learn what really happened to Tess in Hardy’s beloved tale, to then be left on another cliff hanger and another week of thrill and dread. Although this might be frustrating to a modern audience, it makes the art of story-telling paramount. Writers are forced to keep their readers offering twists and turns along the way, unlike many novels now that are both boring and predictable.

Although this trend boomed during the Victorian age, Tim Waterstone, founder of the high-street bookshop, has proclaimed a revival of this seemingly dead art. Having recently announced to reinvent this trend, he points out the average commute takes somewhere, generally between twenty and forty minutes, and with a large percentage of these travellers have e-book readers this is perfect market for these stories. Promising to publish new authors, Waterstone’s intention seeks to bring new life to the redundancy of the serial, enabling us to appreciate the skill and the story of these unique writers.

Grace Harvey

Charles Dickens pioneered the serialisation of novels in the 19th century, though just because such a prestigious literary figure initiated this form of publishing, does not mean that it is positive. In fact, it’s a flawed literary form with negative economic repercussions and a predefined design that limits the writing potential.

Releasing a short story or serialized novel as part of a magazine or newspaper may be beneficial to the publication, but it is a huge nuisance to those who just want access to the work of fiction. All of the unwanted extra content is an unnecessary extra cost and is often completely irrelevant to the sought after serialised novel. Whereas in the 19th Century serialising Dickens’ work made it affordable to the common man, in present society these periodicals can end up costing far more than a single book. Serialised novels are also often predefined in their structure and pace, limiting the author’s creative freedom. For example, there’s expected to be a cliffhanger at the end of every episodic instalment. An unresolved, drastic turn in the road that forces the reader to return for the next periodical, in an attempt to prevent faltering interest. This results in a tiring writing form that is both unrelenting and predictable. The predisposed fast pace and short length also allows for very little opportunity for any intensive description and consequently, it can be difficult to emotionally invest in the plot or characters.

There is something blissful about sitting down with a book and immersing oneself in an alternative reality. Empathising with characters and following them on a journey, which continues right until the back cover conclusively thuds shut. Periodicals destroy this pleasant possibility, presenting the reader with a rushed narrative that risks being un-engaging and at times, even agitating. Very little satisfaction is gained from constantly facing more and more unanswered questions with the intention of maintaining intrigue. For mystery, excitement, stress or passion to be truly effective, they need to be paired with moments of repose, something that is difficult to efficiently provide in such a short literary form.

Today’s consumerist society is constantly seeking immediate and instant satisfaction. We are not patient, and binge viewing entire television series has become hugely popular, as we don’t like waiting to find out answers.

This desire for immediate gratification results in frustration at the constantly inconclusive nature of periodicals.

Charlie Dearnley

The Courier

arts.29

Monday 29 April 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_arts

Spotlight on...

Noises Off Theatre Royal , 22 - 27 April After an awards-laden, five-star run in London, the latest production of Michael Frayn’s Noises Off finally began its UK tour at Newcastle’s Theatre Royal. Split into three acts, each replays the same scene – a group of dimwitted actors attempting to master the overly convoluted stage directions of a farcical play titled ‘Nothing On’.

The first act was somewhat of a slow build – there’s so much groundwork to be lain in introducing the characters, the play-within-a-play concept and the complex network of “who’s sleeping with who again?” relationships. Nevertheless amusing, it was difficult to be truly immersed in the scene when a random member of the audience began bursting with laughter… before any punchlines hit. Chastising the audience for laughing at a comedy play might sound churlish, but having someone cackle when a character has literally just walked on-stage doesn’t particularly make for an immersive atmosphere.

With the foundations set out, the second act was an absolute riot. Set midway through the run of the fictional play, the entire staging is spun to reveal all the backstage goings-on. Cue hilarious slap-stick and slow-building in-jokes reaching fruition in a frantic, extremely clever and extremely entertaining way.

The final act brought the action front-stage once again for an entirely disastrous final performance of ‘Nothing On’, again paying off on the build-up in act one.

Despite being largely hilarious, fast and brilliantly snappy, there was a slight sense of something amiss about Noises Off, perhaps down to first-night jitters on the opening date of the tour. The material was undoubtedly excellent and clearly stakes its claim as one of the funniest plays ever written, however there was a sense that seeing the show midrun would give a smoother, more well-worn performance. That said, the individual players (including Neil Pearson of Bridget Jones’ Diary fame) were all well cast, but in a play where timing is absolutely everything, a few of the jokes appeared to fly past without as much impact as could have been wrought.

Still, if the chance arises to see Noises Off during the middle of the tour, you’ll be in for a night of whip-smart farce.

Ben Travis

#2: Mr. Rochester

Book: ‘Jane Eyre’ by Charlotte Bronte Voted by Mills and Boon readers in 2009 as the most romantic man in literature, Mr. Rochester is already a well-established fictional heartthrob and given his many un-loveable qualities it may seem a little odd. Yet Charlotte Bronte’s dominant, high-handed and even brutal Byronic hero, proves that it doesn’t just take charm and a roguish smile to capture the heroine’s heart.

He needs to be harder to capture, more complex to understand.

What’s the point in chasing something if you’ve already caught it?

Now boys this doesn’t mean that brutal behaviour brings all the girls to the yard, you need loveable potential too (I know girls are impossibly complicated) and this is exactly why so many readers fall hopelessly in love with Edward Fairfax Rochester’s ‘stern features and heavy brow’: he’s a wounded man in need of care.

Though this may be hard to see from the start of the novel as he toys mercilessly with the heroine’s, Jane’s, emotions and treats his daughter with contempt, the signs are there that this is a man, who

previews

Millie Walton

reviews

Mess

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beneath the surface, is actually lacking in control.

For example, when Jane first meets him, he’s in need of help, fallen from his horse and unable to remount without assistance.

I admit that when I found out he had another wife locked up despite his promise to marry Jane, I was pretty furious. Here I was willing to see his potential despite his many faults and all along he’d been keeping Bertha locked away not really that unlike that Austrian Josef Fritzel who kept his daughter locked in his basement for 24 years. Well that may be taking things a little far, but like I said I was furious. But thankfully, like I always knew he would, he manages to redeem himself by the end of the novel by saving Bertha from the fire that burns his house down and leaves him blind. He is left humbled and more in need of love and tenderness than ever before. Mr. Rochester, I will look after you.

Under Us All

The Taming of the Shrew

Live Theatre 30 April - 1 May

ritten and performed by the youthful and talented Caroline Horton, Mess is a powerful piece of theatre about the battle with anorexia. But before you sneer and turn away now: Please don’t let the A word put you off ! This play is as poignant as it is funny with laughs that last longer than the taste of popcorn.

Hand in hand, Josephine, Sistahl and Boris take you on an internal journey into the volatile world of addiction and recovery. The story is based on Horton’s own experience of anorexia and as a consequence, the play is able to offer a truly authentic insight into the challenges and popular misconceptions that sufferers face. Also keeping the narrative interesting and moving is the accompanying music of a fascinating percussionist, who, as far as we can tell from the youtube preview video, closely resembles the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland.

Mess brings an illness, which thrives in secrecy, out onto the stage, bare for all to see. This play, whilst moving and brutally honest, has an immensely positive message for all that suffer or have witnessed the suffering of anorexia. With top- notch reviews and a list of performances throughout the country, Mess is a must-see performance that tackles the serious issue of eating disoders with equally great seriousness and a gripping personal edge.

Maria Abbott

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Theatre Royal 30 April - 3 May

hink of any soap drama, sex scandal involving a football player or housewives’ gossip, and Shakespeare will have been there, done that and, more often than not, invented it.

The Taming of the Shrew, which you might know as a modernised version from the film 10 Things I Hate About You, is no exception: The story revolves around two sisters, one being beautiful and well-mannered (Bianca) and one being undesirable and unruly (Kate) whose father has his own ideas about dating and marriage: Kate has to be married before men can court Bianca.

The men desperate for Bianca’s affection organised for Kate to be married off to gold digging and equally undesirable Petruchio. In this context, it is fair to say the phrase ‘the path of true love never did run smooth’ has never been truer as the line between marrying for love and marrying for money becomes blurred and questions how deep true love goes. It’s a dark and sexy comedy that makes you reassess what makes a good love story (and a good relationship), and how happiness can really be achieved in a marriage.

This unique, fascinating story has been taken by Propeller and transformed by their original style, grabbing the audience as soon as the curtains open to the moment they close. This play is filled with erotic charge, sexiness and danger and perfect for both Shakespeare lovers and virgins alike.

Sally Priddle

Sanctuary Artspace

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e lay there without moving. But under us all moved, and moved us, gently, up and down, and from side to side.

(Samuel Beckett) This May, for one night only, Gateshead’s Sanctuary Artspace is putting on an intimate performance of ‘Under Us All’. This deep and moving piece of theatre tells the story of an Irish, working class family living in Hebburn. The performance follows the family across three generations as they cope with religion, masculinity, family, love, loss, life and death, offering the audience the chance to see what life is really like for the Irish working class, and celebrating Tyneside’s rich diversity and shared humanity.

Director Gwilym Lawrence is known for his subtle, socially conscious work and is sure to produce something beautiful from the script. Writer, Michael Richardson is a PhD student here at Newcastle University, focusing his research on the life of Irish men, living and working in Tyneside.

Through his work with Lawrence, he aims to reach new audiences beyond the work of academia.

For those of you who haven’t visited Sanctuary Artspace, ‘Under Us All’ is more than a good excuse to go. When St Edmunds Chapel are not holding services, the space is given over to art and in recent years, has become an active focal point of the local community. It’s a wonderful place and a beautiful building, the perfect venue for Richardson’s delicate performance.

Charlotte Valletta

The Space Between Us Live Theatre 18 - 20 April

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he Space Between Us offers a contemporary perspective on prejudice and concepts that both unite and divide us in 21st century Britain.

It follows four women, each with a background typically associated with persecution and maltreatment, as they are confined to a church in the wake of extensive flooding in Newcastle (where, admittedly, heavy rainfall that set the city under water isn’t an unknown occurrence).

Whilst being an enjoyable and, at times, lighthearted look at some complex social issues, the play falls foul in its predictability and use of clichés. Tropes abound as typical conflicts arise between the women on the grounds of race, religion and sexuality, and just as predictably, they unite on the basis of their femininity with some mild misogyny thrown in.

The actresses from the Open Clasp Theatre Company are to be commended for bringing the characters to life and it is through their engaging delivery that the play transcends some rather tired and overused concepts.

There will, no doubt, be more plays dealing with struggles against persecution but The Space Between Us is an example of such a play being done albeit in a manner as predictable as one could conceive.

Safiya Ahmed

30.musiclocal

Monday 29 April 2013

The Courier

Music Editors: Chris Haywood and Sam Summers Online Music Editor: Sophie Coletta

sceNE Special: Evolution Emerging

One night. Nine venues. Over forty artists handpicked from the local music scene. And entry is free.

We take a look at the highlight of the North East music calendar that will take place Saturday 25 May

The Venues

Matty Aston runs down the venues dotted around Ouseburn Valley that will be hosting events on the night The Cluny The Tanners Situated at the top of Stepney Bank, this may look from the outside to be an ordinary pub, but has become one of the staple small live music venues in the city.

Arguably the best live music setting in the city, The Cluny will once again play host to the stars of tomorrow on 26th May. The legendary 300-capacity venue, situated at the heart of the Ouseburn Valley, has welcomed bands including Arctic Monkeys and Mumford & Sons since opening thirteen years ago.

The Cumberland Arms Decent sized real ale pub with gigs taking place upstairs and in the back bar - a favourite venue for many artists based in Newcastle.

Cluny 2 Located two floors down in the building next door, The Cluny’s sister venue opened in 2009. The theatre-style venue is the perfect environment for those bands wanting to provide a more intimate and sedate feel to their set.

Blast Studios Preferred recording studio for many local artists, this is a home for many of those performing across the festival on the night.

Blank Studios The long-serving, commercial recording studio that will be hosting the more stripped back performances on the night.

Star & Shadow Cinema Located at the top of the Ouseburn Valley, The Star & Shadow Cinema is one of the more unique venues in the area, usually utilised for concerts, films, live art and exhibitions.

The Tyne Bar One of the most popular and smallest pubs in the Valley, The Tyne Bar has played host to countless bands over the years, with its indoor and outdoor stages regularly attracting larger than average crowds.

Ticket Competition ‘Girl On Fire’ songstress Alicia Keys is playing at the Metro Radio Arena on Sunday 19 May, with support from R&B upand-comer Miguel, and we’ve only gone and got three pairs of tickets to give away!

If you want to get your hands on a pair, all you have to do is answer this simple question:

Alicia Keys plays songs in many different keys, but which key was mentioned in the title of her debut album? a) A Minor b) B Minor c) C Minor Email your answer to c2.music@ncl.ac.uk

by Thursday 2 May.

Heartattack & Vine Brand new multi-use venue that is fast becoming the epicentre of a burgeoning DIY scene here in the North East.

The Courier

localmusic.31

Monday 29 April 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_music

Our Highlights

Charlie Dearnley, Ian Mason and Eve McGeady recommend the artists whose sets they will be catching on the night 1

B>E>A>K

Nadine Shah

Let’s Buy Happiness

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Venue: Cluny 2 Set Time: 22:45 - 23:15

Venue: The Cluny Set Time: 22:30 - 23:00

Whitburn songstress Nadine Shah’s vocal range is haunting by nature, creating an atmospheric ambience that is both moving and enthralling by definition. North East born she may be, Shah’s heritage spans both Scandinavia and Pakistan, and while jazz, soul and even, to an extent, blues shine through in her work, it is increasingly difficult to define this breakthrough talent by genre. Having just completed her debut album to follow up on her recently released second EP Dreary Town, Shah is quite rightfully steadily building a reputation for herself. Seeing a talent such as Shah then in such an intimate venue is unlikely to be a frequent occurrence in the future, so don’t miss out while you have the chance.

This five-piece band have set their sights on great things. Having formed over a mutual love for North American alternative rock, this influence is ever present in their songwriting. They nevertheless consistently manage to provide something new and original in their sound, creating a wistful beauty that is pleasant and powerful.

Sarah Hall’s angelic-like vocals are backed by driving rhythms and strong melodies, each instrument seamlessly weaves together forming a very unique and cohesive sound.

With a rapidly growing fan base, recent concerts in Texas and Canada, and a hugely successful summer playing Glastonbury, this band deserves every bit of appraisal they receive.

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Venue: The Tyne Bar Set Time: 22:30 - 23:00

Venue: Heartattack & Vine Set Time: 20:30 - 21:00

Dressed Like Wolves are beautifully imperfect.

There’s something earnest in the fragility of Rick’s voice, as he tells stories from picture books and daydreams. Like a sailor singing until he sees home again, the simplicity and vulnerability of DLW is melancholic, heartfelt and charming.

One hundred miles an hour, brightly coloured feathered masked madness; that’s pretty much the only way to describe a band that are increasingly becoming renowned for their live performances.

Anyone who was there last time they played, or with access to a YouTube account will know that when the birds party, anything can happen. Trumpets, saxophones, next to no vocals and excitement fuelled by pure adrenaline mixed with stage diving, crowd surfing and all out lunacy, the B>E>A>K boys will have you bouncing. Get your beak on!

On the night you’ll be up against up to eight other artists performing while you are - what would you say to someone to get them to come and see B>E>A>K instead of your ‘competitors’?

The birds don’t have competition, music is not in the Olympics as far as we know, but what do we know, we are birds. Come to see B>E>A>K if you want to lose your nut, jump around and get ya beak on!

B>E>A>K are known for their distinct stage presence and appearnace; have you got anything especially unique planned for your Evolution Emerging set?

We have been working on a secret method of stage entrance that harks back to the days of creation.

Our mother hen will make an appearance, and if we are lucky we will spread our bird seed far and wide.

Lionhall

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Venue: Star & Shadow Cinema Set Time: 20:15 - 20:45

4

3200 Tigers

Venue: Blank Studios Set Time: 19:45 - 20:15

DIY Newcastle-based Scottish-twosome Lionhall draw sharp similarities to The xx. Their first single ‘Perfect’ cost them nothing to record, so they refunded anyone who paid for it. Their debut EP is released this week, hopefully to the same result.

3200 Tigers are an indie/electro band based in Newcastle. Their songs are rife with sampled guitars and vocals that flitter in circles around old school disco synths, at a pace perfectly prepared for dancing. Shamelessly poppy, but not in a generic and frustrating sense, their songs are happy and bustlingly busy. Underpinned by tongue-in-cheek acid lyricism, their new song ‘Leapfrog’ is appealingly fresh, with a cleverly climactic conclusion.

On the night you’ll be up against up to eight other artists performing while you are - what would you say to someone to get them to see 3200 Tigers rather than any of your ‘competitors’?

Who would you rather see, some humans or some tigers? There will be a limited entry into Blank Studios of around 30 people, so get your sleeping bags ready because it’s first come, first served!

Who are you looking to seeing on the night?

Proper can’t wait to see Goodbye Chanel at The Tanners, and Terra T headline Heartattack & Vine.

7

WavesWavesWaves

Venue: Blast Studios Set Time: 19:45 - 20:15 WWW offer something distinct from their counterparts. Their indie take on music is literally that; every song is independent from another, which is a testament to how diverse they really are.

This Little Bird

8

Venue: The Cumberland Arms Set Time: 20:30 - 21:00

Hailing from Seaham, Rebecca Young’s offers a gentle blend of folk and country that surrounds her heartfelt lyrics. Few artists at this event will be able to match the emotion that enraptures her vocals.

Faith Elliot

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Venue: Cluny 2 Set Time: 21:15 - 21:45

For more information on Evolution Emerging, including the lineup of artists for each venue and set times, check out: www.generator.org.uk/node/61210.

Dressed Like Wolves

If you’re into gorgeous girls and guitars then you’re in for a treat when it comes to Faith Elliot. This Sunderland born songstress is the Queen of Youtube covers, ranging from Bon Iver’s ‘Blood Bank’ to Katy Perry’s ‘E.T’. Her fresh and innocent voice can be likened to Daughter, one of her favourite artists, and makes for sweet and easy listening. She has a few originals up her sleeve too, all of which are subtle declarations of love and are made to go with a box of Maltesers and some tissues. All in all, Faith is a less commercial, more vocally-potent, fe-

male Ed Sheeran (of whom she does a great cover incidentally).

On the night you’ll be up against up to eight other artists performing while you are - what would you say to someone to get them to see you rather than any of your ‘competitors’?

I’d say I’m giving out free chocolate! But I’m actually not so that wouldn’t work. If you want a folky, calm set, come and see me! The whole night will be great; there are so many great artists and with each venue there is a different atmosphere.

Who are you looking to seeing on the night?

My top artist to see is Eliza and The Bear. I saw them at The Sage once and instantly fell in love!

Just in love with all their songs.

The Courier

reviewsmusic.33

Monday 29 April 2013

How to Buy...

#willpower

Bruce Springsteen

will.i.am

I

The quintessential American rock star, Bruce Springsteen has achieved heroic status during his 40-year career and is still one of the most highly-praised live acts around. Editor Ben Travis shows you which of his 17 studio albums to start with...

For Beginners: Born To Run (1975) An obvious place to start, Born To Run is an intentionally grandiose record and home to ‘Thunder Road’ – possibly the greatest song ever written. Unapologetically shot through with allusions to roads, motors, and hazy American dreams of escaping humble origins, the album is less flag-waving ‘USA!’ jingoism, more a blend of blue-collar desperate optimism. There’s a sense throughout that there’s something better out there somewhere – anywhere – all just a short drive away. Despite the thrilling upbeat arrangements, there’s an operatic darkness to ‘Meeting Across The River’ and ‘Jungleland’, the latter featuring the best saxophone solo ever captured on record, courtesy of Big Man Clarence Clemons. Born To Run is a nigh-on perfect album.

For Experts:

magine the construction line of a factory focused solely on bland mass production. Then go along to each individual machine and program in some generic song features: a dull drum track, a bland bass line, an auto-tuned chorus, and maybe mix in Justin Beiber or Britney Spears for good measure. Out pops will.i.am’s new album #willpower, ready to be rammed down the throat of unsuspecting drunken individuals in bars and clubs all over the world.

Will.i.am’s obsession with new technology is evident in all aspects of his new album. There’s even a hashtag in the title. It’s as if he’s spent so much time mindlessly trawling through twitter, that he is now having difficulty distinguishing social networking from reality. People worry about the kids of today being too closely bound to electronic equipment, but look at what it’s done to poor Will. #willpower is invaded left, right and centre by electro. It creeps through the cracks between notes, only to completely overwhelm ‘Great Times Are Coming’, as what began as a pleasant song is rudely interrupted by a discourteous pulse cannon. ‘Bang Bang’ is infected far more discretely; beginning with a sample from the 1920s jazz classic ‘The Charleston’, synth steadily cultivates until it has colonized and overwhelmed the jazzy banjo, replacing it with a pounding bass line.

With such an emphasis on the rave element of #willpower, and the vast number of featured artists, it’s as if Will has taken a back seat on his own album. Just as many thirteen year old girls will listen to ‘#thatPower’ for Justin Beiber as for will.i.am.

Britney Spears speaking a few lines on ‘Scream & Shout’ before seductively saying “Britney bitch”

will be responsible for a vast number of sales.

One song that’s a bit different is ‘Geekin’. Like finding a needle in a haystack, it’s a huge sur-

With the vast number of featured artists, it’s as if Will has taken a back seat on his own album... prise, but it’s something that can turn against you and poke you until you bleed. The opening synth line is repeated so many times I’ve begun to associate it with headaches. ‘Ghetto Ghetto’, featuring Baby Kaely, however, is a diamond in the rough, and the line “I wanna be what’s on TV” is unexpectedly powerful when sung by an eight year old.

A breath of fresh air is also delivered in ‘Smile Mona Lisa’, which is rich in Latin influences, blended sweetly with strings and will.i.am’s autotuned vocals. The one issue with this song was that it reminded me of old Black Eyed Peas, and I began daydreaming, looking out the window and earnestly yearning after Elephunk. #willpower isn’t necessarily bad, it’s more that it is incredibly predictable, and subsequently very boring. There are close to no surprises on the album, and it’s far too long. Sifting through all 18 songs in an attempt to find something different and innovative is painstakingly tedious, and not overly rewarding.

Recommended download: ‘Ghetto Ghetto’ Charlie Dearnley

If Born To Run is the optimistic ‘we can do anything’ album, follow-up Darkness On The Edge Of Town is the ‘we got here and everything still sucks’ record. There’s a real soulful quality at work here – the almost orchestral arrangements giving way to warm, sorrowful organs and gospel-esque melodies. The characters populating Darkness are broken and desperate, a far cry from the pro-American preconceptions that Springsteen attracts. From the heavy blues of ‘Adam Raised a Cain’, the masterful balladry of ‘Racing In The Street’ and the warm, heartfelt harmonica strains of ‘The Promised Land’, it’s a musically varied but thematically cohesive album which sees Springsteen at his angriest. Troubled studio time led to famously tumultuous recordings but the album emerges as a dark masterpiece, with a downright stunning title track.

For The Bin: Working On A Dream (2009) While Springsteen is undoubtedly still an incredible live artist, his musical output has been of varying quality since his return in 2002 with The Rising. Although still churning out generally quality albums, Working On A Dream was a bit of a miss, Brendan O’Brien’s poppier production sapping the songs of any edge. There’s nothing expressly bad about Working On A Dream, but compare it to The Rising’s bruised soul and Magic’s classic Springsteen-sounding highlights, and it just falls flat. It’s worth tracking down ‘The Wrestler’, his song for Darren Aronofsky’s film of the same name, but it’s debatable whether that really counts as a bonus track.

Kanye West My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy Stacked high with opulent electronics, punchlinebased rhymes and a ridiculous roster of guest stars, ...Fantasy resembles #willpower in more ways than I’d like to admit, with the key difference being that it’s completely and utterly brilliant.

I Love You

Junip

True Romance Charli XCX

Darkness On The Edge Of Town (1978)

If you like this, try ...

The Neighbourhood

Junip

O

h Junip, a band that you may or may not have heard of based on the fact that their frontman and lead guitar-whiz José González has had a whole host of success getting his music onto Sony adverts and the videogame Red Dead Redemption.

After a slew of buzzworthy EPs set a nice approachable canvas, Junip have released a self-titled LP to paint a picture of lightly plucked acoustics, synthesized beats, and even lighter vocals from Mr. González himself. His haunting delivery is what carries this LP, personifying Junip as reminiscent of his solo endeavours but with a full band padding out his melodious lyricisms and slowly building crescendos.

The likes of ‘So Clear’ and ‘Line of Fire’ start out with subtle grooves that will tap feet and nod heads in the most infectious of ways. Sometimes some of the best melodies are the ones that invade your brain and rest on your subconscious until you find yourself humming them first thing in the morning.

Junip is packed full of such vocal lines and compositional elements, and keyboardist Tobias Winterkorn helps to inject some extra flair on the swagtastic, Black Keys-aping ‘Villain’, or the darkly mystical ‘Baton’, creating a definable flipside to González’ solo work.

The LP ends on the gorgeous ‘Said And Done’; a barren track that leaves José’s soft delivery atop a basic beat, joined only by his repeated picking of a handful of notes. It’s a perfect send-off from an album that has built an atmosphere of pure relaxation and good vibes, harking back to González tried ‘n’ tested formula, but putting even more emphasis on the bands’ new direction.

A

alifornia cool kids ‘The NBHD’ release sexy, swaggering debut; an album with atmospheric guitars, underpinned by mechanical hip-hop drums and with soaring pop melodies, what’s not to like?

You may have heard their single ‘Sweater Weather’, though the album as a whole proves that they have much better tunes in the bank, as a collective they have a clear idea of what their sound is and I Love You communicates it well. The emotionally frustrated ‘Afraid’ is a perfect example of Jesse Rutherford’s ability to use simple lyrics put to a catchy-as-fuck melody that gets the songs lodged firmly in your skull.

That said, he’s no Matt Berninger; the lyrics aren’t clever and unsurprisingly the topic of the majority of the songs is either women or introversion. If this bothers you please feel free to go back to your Thom Yorke records as I Love You will not be your thing.

‘Everybody’s Watching Me’ sounds like a chart topping hit due to its catchy ‘uh oh’ refrain and Rutherford’s slow croon is ideally suited to big kick drums and visceral electronic beats. There is something about the West Coast that breeds artists who have a similar sun-drenched sound without even being in the same genre.

The Neighbourhood can be compared to Frank Ocean even though they stand on stage as a five piece rock band. Equally, fans of The Weeknd should love their debut. They are one of those bands that look as if they were born to look cool and stand on stage together. They are filling a void in the music industry and are definitely one to watch.

Recommended download: ‘Nuclear Seasons’

Recommended download: ‘Villain’

Recommended download: ‘Everybody’s Watching Me (Uh Oh)’

ne of a group of thrusting young female starlets bursting forth onto ‘the scene’ in the last twelve months (see also: Sky Ferreira, Foxes, Florrie), Charli XCX’s unique selling point is basically that she’s a bit like a more wayward version of Katy B, i.e. she has ladders in her tights and she DOESN’T CARE WHO KNOWS IT. True Romance ploughs much the same furrow as Icona Pop’s ‘I Love It‘, on which Charli featured – slightly grimy, rough pop built around windowrattling bass sounds. The opener ‘Nuclear Seasons’ is the best example of this; Charli’s slightly detached purr swirls woozily around bright synths, gloopily double-tracked and intensely brilliant. It sounds so much like it’s from the soundtrack to Drive one half-expects the special edition of True Romance to come with a complimentary pair of leather gloves.

It’s the sort of pop album people who don’t like pop music will be able to like unashamedly, the sort of album you could put on at a house party and not have to worry about what the guy with the snapback and ironic tattoos will say (not that you should care anyway).

Under the surface of scuzzy electronics though, songs like the perky ‘Take My Hand’ (“Don’t go to sleep, let’s go out”, she implores, like that friend takes great pride in tying a lead weight to your grade point average) and ‘Black Roses’ mean this is as big an arms aloft, poppers o’clock record as there’s been in the last couple of years at least.

Under the surface grit, one suspects Charli XCX harbours secret dreams of being the natural heir to Marina. She’s not far off.

Tom Nicholson

Scott Tailford

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Max Palmer-Geaves

34.tvlistings

Monday 29 April 2013

The Courier

TV Editor: Chris Taylor Online TV Editor: Ben Parkin

Voicing your concerns

Sam Summers watches The Voice.

No, we don’t know why either. We think he might just do it because he hates it. And he really does hate it.

Here he talks about why he hates it.

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he Voice, in case you didn’t know – and judging from the ratings you didn’t – is a BBC1 talent show in which Tom Jones, Danny O’Donoghue, Jessie J, and that bastion of vocal authenticity will.i.am attempt to judge potential pop stars based on their voice alone, and not their looks. This is all made completely redundant by the fact that a) the vast majority of contestants look like pop stars and b) last year’s winner Leanne Mitchell failed to chart higher than number 45.

Did you know that an episode of The Voice is ninety minutes long? Ninety minutes, without adverts. It’s absolutely mind numbing. There are twelve ninety-second auditions per show, at the absolute maximum. That clocks in at eighteen minutes of actual music per episode, all padded out with elaborate chair-spins, will.i.am’s surrealist koans and Jessie J’s histrionic bullshit. For example, after a professed Jessie J superfan gets all four judges fighting over him, we’re treated to ten full minutes of pitching, bickering, and an impromptu duet with Jessie, all of which is completely devoid of tension as he is a Jessie J fucking superfan.

Spoilers: he picks Jessie.

Following the unceremonious rejection of faded ‘90s superstar Sean ‘Five’ Conlon last year, this series has been host to an increasingly depressing parade of has-beens. Among those who’ve managed to peel themselves away from their crusty, tear-sodden mattresses include Pop Idol near miss Kirsty Crawford, Soul II Soul’s Kym Mazelle, some bloke called ‘Kavana’ who I’m meant to have heard of, and Lorraine Crosby, who dueted with Meat Loaf on ‘I’d Do Anything For Love’, all of whom were sent careening back home. Raising the bar a little bit was Cleo Higgins of Cleopatra, much to the chagrin of bandmates Pat and Ra.

Every so often the judges come across somebody with a strange and interesting voice, and with real potential to become a massive pop star and make massive pop tunes the likes of which you have never heard. While I can’t remember who they are or what they look like, I can vividly recall a woman who constantly changed pitch like a robot, a bizarre alto who sounded sort of like a reverse Kate Bush, and two separate men who could easily pass for The Weeknd. Unfortunately, they are forever lost to the world of pop, as they have auditioned for The Voice, whose previous winner charted at number 45.

Remember the ‘elephant graveyard’ scene from The Lion King? The Voice is the elephant graveyard of pop. Strewn with the carcasses of once mighty creatures, it is visited by the promising youth, by the future kings, unaware that this path leads towards almost certain death. Jessie, Danny and Will are the cackling hyenas baying for blood. Tom Jones is the wise Mufasa, trying in vain to keep order in a world which no longer needs or wants him.

Run away, viewer. Run away, and never return.

New Girl

ooey Deschanel is perhaps the most ‘marmite’ actress of the moment. Some find her ‘Manic Pixie Dream Girl’ shtick wonderful and want to ride off with her into the eternal sunset over fields of roses and daffodils on bedazzled horses that smell of Lenor. Others want to run as far away as possible when a ukulele appears for fear they might be “treated” to an indie twee rendition of The Wire theme tune (cause that’s what the kids today do, right?)

Herein lay the problem with the first season of New Girl, it pushed Deschanel’s character Jess to the forefront while keeping the supporting cast far out on the periphery as simply characters she interacts with as opposed to primary characters in their own right. This is often a problem when creating an ensemble comedy, even more so when

the character focused on is one that could polarise an audience. I’m somewhere on the fence about Deschanel; she does what she does well but it can get grating in large doses. What annoyed me more about most of the first season of New Girl was its squandering of an excellent supporting cast.

But something happened over the Christmas break. It seems as though Elizabeth Merriwether and her staff of writers realised that they were holding on to some real comic gems in Max Greenfield, Lamorne Morris, and Jake Johnson and suddenly they began to flourish. Things weren’t so focused on Deschanel as the show started to pair up the likes of loveable douche Schmidt and the try-hard Winston leading to a fantastic end to a shaky series.

Now that New Girl is back for a second season, this streak continues and shows no sign of dwindling. As Jess loses her job as a teacher, she’s thrown into an unemployed limbo. As she goes about her own thing trying to find a job while trying to find love, Schmidt is distraught to find Cece dating another man while Nick just goes around being

Nick (meeting a version of himself from the future, consoling in a silent man in the park and dating numerous girls he meets in his bar). This is also a great season for guest stars, particularly in regards to parents. Jamie Lee Curtis and Rob Reiner are wonderful as Jess’s parents and Nelson Franklin is perfect foil for Schmidt as Cece’s new boyfriend.

If there’s one problem with this season is that Winston stays very much in the background until the return of everyone’s favourite nonsensical drinking game “True American” when he begins to get decent separate storylines.

The rest of the season really is something to look forward to, with a “will they, won’t they” story arc that might just be the true successor to Cheers’ Sam and Diane (sorry Ross and Rachel) and the discovery that Schmidt and Winston are the greatest comedy pairing the show has made so far. Never has my show on an opinion fluctuated so much from apathy to pure adoration, but I’m just glad it has!

Chris Taylor

Revolution

Sky1, Monday 9pm

Boss

Once Upon A Time

More4, Thursday 11pm

Five, Monday 8pm

hen our entire way of life depends on electricity what would happen if the power was switched off permanently?

While it might be appealing to think of a world reverting to a utopian commune, the answer is unfortunately violence, power struggles and corruption as J.J. Abram’s produced post apocalyptic drama Revolution explores.

Taking place fifteen years after ‘The Blackout’ a violent encounter with militia thrusts young girl Charlie Matheson from her small farming community into the dangerous world, where militia rule with an iron fist and desperate survivalists seep out of the ruins of civilisation. Gaining travel companions along the way including the comedic turn of ex-Google employee and a mysterious uncle hiding a dark past, Charlie becomes embroiled in a conspiracy to save her brother from the hands of the militia.

With a strong history of quality post-disaster shows such as Jericho, Revolution slots nicely into the paradigm from its beautifully ruined cities, to its use of flashback, narrating the terrifying initial stages of the ‘black out’, revealing small snippets about characters experiences with a desperate dangerous humanity. However despite this dark subtext, Revolution is a little too ‘safe’ for a post –apocalyptic drama, with an annoying bow - wielding female protagonist cashing in on Hunger Games survivalist teen clichés, while anti heroes and theatrical villains come in the form of Billy Burke and Breaking Bad’s Giancarlo Esposito respectively, relishing their predictable roles with anarchic glee.

Revolution is still a must for post –apocalyptic fans, implicating our reliance on technology and innate human drives could potentially make feudal warlords of us all given the right circumstances.

reaking Bad saw Bryan Cranston take the television world by an almighty surprise. Having been type-cast for years in sit-coms as affable yet comically feeble and fearful, as Walter White he emphatically redefined himself as an actor. In Boss, Kelsey Grammar – who most of us will affectionately remember as Frasier Crane – clearly seeks to emulate his counterpart’s trajectory.

There can be no doubt that Boss pivots on Grammar’s monumental performance; his portrayal of Tom Kane, the charismatic and Machiavellian Mayor of Chicago, carries a majestic intensity from the outset, presenting his internal conflict between a fierce egomania and ambition and a latent compassion and overwhelming self-pity.

But glimmers of the latter are about as sentimental as things get in Boss, a world without much humour at all. The moral debauchery of it all plays out slowly and subtly and is unrelenting. Boss in essence strips politics down to its ugly truth and in doing so amounts to being a more dour version of The West Wing that is absent of any reverence for what politics can be at its aspirational best.

Rooted in Shakespearean storytelling, such intensity is mirrored by plotting that has a tendency to drift into overriding excess. At its heart, however, is Grammar’s Kane. With a degenerative brain disorder, we watch his world gradually being torn away from him; ultimately his flight on the way down is what is most fascinating about the show.

Boss clearly aspires to be a truly great American television drama, and although we’ve encountered many of these amoral and lustful character types before in previous dramas, Boss makes it all seem refreshingly compelling all over again.

few weeks ago and nearly one year after the first season premiered in the UK, the second season of ABC’s drama series Once Upon A Time aired on Channel 5 to perhaps an overly eager and youthful audience.

Created by the writers of Lost and Tron: Legacy, Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz, the series chronicles the events of a seaside town named Storybrooke (Yep, that pun slapped me in the face too) in which all of the residents are characters from fairy tales that have been transported to the ‘real world’ by the Evil Queen, their memories robbed and with no clue that they’re actually re-runs of our much-loved princess and princes.

Lead by Ginnifer Goodwin, of Walk the Line and He’s Just Not That Into You fame, playing the role of Mary/aka the-girl-who-has-no-idea-that-she’sSnow-White, the second season kicked off with a mix of brand new characters and head-spinning flips between reality and fairytale. The introduction and unlikely bond of Mulan and Princess Aurora, with the latter being awoken from a year-long sleep in proper princess style with a ‘true love’s kiss’, is altogether remarkably (prince) charming. Showing the ambition of the effects crew and writers, the backdrop and CGI has been advanced exponentially compared to previous efforts. Working with a series that has so many opportunities for creative control gives them a degree of artistic liberty and they’ve definitely taken advantage of it this time round.

If your eyes have been shrouded to the magical world (literally) of this easy-watching show then you should probably do a bit of procrastinationinduced TV marathoning and tune in to Channel 5, Tuesdays at 9pm.

Chris Binding

Chris Haywood

Beth Durant

E4, Tuesday 9pm

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The Courier

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Monday 29 April 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/tv c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_tv

The final countdown

Arrested Development left our screens in 2006 but talk of it has never stopped. Popular quotes from the show has made it into common lexicon and there has been a call for a movie nearly every year since then. TV Editor Chris Taylor shows you why you should be excited for its return on 26 May!

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here’s something about watching or listening to something for the first time and knowing that it’s going to have some form of impact on your life. The minute it ends, you’re not only sad that it’s over but also that you’ll never experience that feeling you just felt again.

It’s a unique feeling that is only replicated by finding something with a similar impact. But there are certain things that, no matter how many times you watch or listen to them, they still feel extraordinarily fresh, even if you can predict when the jokes will hit, when the twist will be or what’s coming up next. For me, that list is quite short, mainly containing Monty Python’s Life of Brian, LCD Soundsystem’s Sound of Silver and Arrested Development.

I discovered Arrested Development in my first year of university. Recently in clover, or so I thought, thanks to discovering the joys of the student loan, I popped over to HMV for a regular browse with no intentions of buying anything (OK I lie, I was definitely going to buy something….) and spotted a wonderful boxset in the sale section. I’d heard

about Arrested Development from a few people but just never bothered to get around to watching it.

Sacrificing money that should really have gone towards that week’s food shop, I took it straight to the counter and rushed home to put it on. First episode over, I felt OK that I was going to having 20p instant noodles for tea instead of a salmon pasta.

Second episode over, third episode, fourth episode, fifth episode; I quickly began to lose track of time.

But as I watched more, that sense of dread that I’d never have this much fun watching this show again began to creep.

Alas, I was terrifically wrong. Thinking about certain episodes, a smile cracks on my face making things a tad awkward when walking around thinking about George Bluth Sr’s lessons to his children with the assistance of his one armed friend J. Walter Weatherman or GOB’s short lived honey business. Revisiting some of my favourite episodes is one of the easiest ways to lift my spirits. It has an infectious quality to it. Seeing other people enjoy it, listening to other people talk about it or just seeing something about it in a paper or on the internet

is exciting in itself.

The appeal of it seems to be that the show is atypically eccentric. It’s very difficult to think of another show anywhere within its radius. Sure, it’s base plot is very simple: George Bluth tries to keep his dysfunctional family together which includes an opulent, frequently drunk mother, a brother in law with a tendencies to slip innuendos in wherever he can without meaning to and a father who spends most of the show in jail for fraud. Yet it’s these eccentric characters and their eccentric adventures that make Arrested Development what it is. From Tobias Funke attempting to become a member of the Blue Man Group, to Steve Holt who shouts his own name often and loud, to Bob Loblaw, proprietor of Bob Loblaw’s Law Blog (say that 5 times after a few drinks), the show is so loaded with characters that the only show it really resembles is The Simpsons.

The jokes are equally ridiculous and attention to detail even moreso. Spotting little recurring jokes makes every viewing of an episode of Arrested Development (references to Charlie Brown, anything to do with Ann Veal, foreshadowing of an incident with Buster Bluth and a seal) with the show even ostensibly breaking the fourth wall, such as when Scott Baio’s Bob Loblaw is brought in to replace Henry Winkler’s Barry Zuckercorn as the family lawyer (Baio’s Chachi replaced Winkler’s Fonz in Happy Days) or when Barry Zuckercorn literally jumps over a shark, a reference to the now infamous Happy Days scene.

It’s very easy to go on and on about this show.

For what seems like a simple sitcom, it is ridiculously layered which is what makes it a treat every time you watch it and it’s insanely quotable to boot.

Luckily for us, Netflix are set to release 15 new episodes on May 26th, similar to how they released House of Cards, so we can experience new episodes 7 years after it was cancelled by Fox (which the show did end up referencing a lot in its final few episodes). They’ve definitely not made a huge mistake here.

Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert!

No-one likes a show being spoiled for them - say, inadvertently checking Twitter the day after a show has aired only to have the Broadchurch reveal spoiled when you’re a good few episodes behind. Beth Durant tells us why spoilers are rubbish and what happens when you do spoil something

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poil. If you look it up in the dictionary it’s defined as to “Diminish or destroy the value or quality.” When I think of something spoiling, I sometimes think of the milk that all of your housemates forgot about at the back of the fridge that everyone kept promising to get rid of.

But mostly I think of the unspeakable event back in the 2010 when the ending of Lost was ruined on my Facebook timeline.

Even though I didn’t really understand what the hell had been happening for the previous two seasons anyway, I was struck with a sudden wave of anger and hatred for this unwittingly awful person.

I called them out on their life-hating ways and they rebutted with the cold, hard, truth that maybe I should stay away from Facebook instead of getting pissed at them. In a society where social network probably takes up more time than your real life, you apparently have to place your Facebook, your Twitter, and your Tumblr in lockdown quarantine to escape a world that apparently takes unending delight in ruining the fun of others without even realising it.

It’s not just your usual acquaintance on Facebook, either. Even the most mighty of the TV world have fallen to the perils of such online platforms. A few weeks ago Kevin Bacon retweeted a major plot twist from his most recent TV show, The Following.

The internet went up in dramatic flames and TV gossip blogs were drafting their scoop articles faster than our favourite Bacon could say ‘I’m sorry’ to his thousands of aggravated followers. These huge spoilers suck because they remind us that a story

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Best Arrested Development episodes

Good Grief After George, Sr. fakes his own death, wannabe magician Gob turns the funeral into an excuse to bury himself alive. Using Buster as his assistant and – as ever- Europe’s ‘The Final Countdown’ as his theme song, Gob forgets to actually tell his brother that their dad is dead. Hilarity ensues.

Out On A Limb Throughout Arrested Development, Oedipal poster-boy Buster is used and abused by both Lucille, his overbearing mother, and Lucille, his elderly former lover. Here, in one of the greatest jokes in the show’s history, he has his hand bitten off by a loose seal. Crude, but brilliant.

The Immaculate Election George Michael runs for student president against uber-jock Steve ‘Steve Holt!’ Hold, with a campaign centred on his virginity. If that all sounds a bit heavy, comic relief comes from Tobias, who tries to get closer to his estranged family by disguising himself as a singing English nanny called Mrs. Featherbottom.

The One Where Michael Leaves Gob discovers a contract between George Sr. and Saddam Hussein, and Lucille enlists hapless Buster in the army to make the family look more patriotic. In a classic sub-plot, Tobias accidentally joins the Blue Man Group, which he mistakenly believes is a support group for depressed men.

is just a story, and it’s hard to place yourself in the shoes of a character if you know they’ll be losing a limb or killing someone two episodes later. The beauty of TV is that it can change week by week, and taking away the anticipation of a resolution ruins the possibility that anything could happen.

Despite this illicit view of spoilers, it is but the forbidden fruit that even some of the most zealous fans are searching for. Seeing the words ‘SPOILER ALERT’ plastered at the top of an article is enough to get the most resilient of us foaming at the mouth at the prospect of reading something new and exclusive. You know these kind of people: they

claim that spoilers merely heighten their viewing pleasure. Anticipation is agony for them. Perhaps it’s the temptation of knowing that they could be one of only a few people to have insider info about that character death on a HBO show or that plane crashing on a soap opera again. We like to be let onto secrets and it makes it feel important even if it comes at the detriment of someone else’s enjoyment, no matter how big or small it is. I once told someone that Ron Swanson shaves his moustache off in an episode of Parks and Recreation and they refused to talk to me for the rest of the day. Choose your words wisely, kids.

Best Man for the GOB Tobias attempts to re-recruit Lindsay and Maeby to bring back their ‘90s folk act ‘Dr. Fünke’s 100% Natural Good-Time Family Band Solution’. Meanwhile, George Sr. Organises a bachelor party for Gob in an incredibly convoluted attempt to stop his accountant from testifying, by making him think that he’s murdered a stripper.

Sam Summers

36.filmfeatures

Monday 29 April 2013

The Courier

Film Editors: Hayley Hamilton and Sam Hopkins Online Film Editor: Chris Binding

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Hollywood’s movie marvels

Worst Superhero Films

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The Green Lantern

Ryan Reynolds as a superhero was always going to be a tough sell, and he never really quite fits into the tight green spandex of The Green Lantern. It isn’t awful but rather a fairly dismal adaption of the classic comics that left many fans bitterly disappointed.

4 Fantastic Four Both Fantastic Four films are spectacularly un-fantastic but the first one is particularly poorly done with clumsy CGI, dodgy acting and only mild entertainment. It’s no wonder that Chris Evans ditched his ‘Human Torch’ alias to become Captain America, a wise getaway from a forgettable franchise.

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With great power comes great...popularity? Aisha Dinn explores the trajectory of the Hollywood superhero as the genre moves from strength to strength Batman, Superman and Captain America are all well-known superhero names. They are also comic books that have been made into movies and span a huge sixty years, with the first real-life Batman movie opening in 1949, Superman in 1951 and Captain America in 1979.

But it seems that over the past 10 years, more superheroes have been running, flying or swinging their way onto the silver screen. And production companies have been more than welcome to accept them! Why? Well making a movie from a comic book seems pretty lucrative, the stories are already there and have a rich history so starting and character building is easy. This makes reboots possible, as there are many villains to choose from in a series, e.g Batman and indeed throughout the whole DC and Marvel Universe. This makes it easier to make many films under one character, but also give audiences something new and fresh, as each villain gives the superhero a different test every time.

The characters are well known by everyone in society and already have a strong fan base, thus promising a great audience turnout before you’ve even got started.

There are also strong interesting characters that follow the monomyth or ‘hero’s journey’, which shows good progression of story, strong emotions, promised action and most likely a sequel.

However, because these are superhero movies the action is ten times anything Stallone can give us! Oh yes! Including cool gadgets, flying, mass destruction and a baddie that has just as much punch behind him as the hero! But through all this, the reason why Superhero movies have become so popular and not just a fad that will dwindle away, is because of their reality and humanity.

The Spiderman trilogy by Sam Raimi brought

us a boy that isn’t popular in school, is a bit weak and geeky, but through extraordinary circumstances becomes a masked hero. Raimi brought humanity to Spiderman that may have not been in previous Superhero movies. For example Tim Burton’s Batman movies were inaccessible and the audience probably didn’t connect to the characters.

In recent years, we really attach ourselves to these characters, as film makers have made the characters more human. Who would ever really feel sorry for a millionaire arms dealer, a God or a man that is invincible to bullets? The films have adapted and made these superheroes more real.

Indeed The Dark Knight Trilogy by Christopher Nolan really brought a darker element to

Cinema politica

Daredevil Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner and Colin Farrell – a solid cast yet even they are incapable of lifting this film beyond mediocrity. The film unfortunately resembles the toxic waste that blinds Matt Murdock, aka Daredevil, and with its main character blinded it is no wonder this superhero flick misfires.

Ever feel just a little manipulated by some of the films that hit your local cinema screen? Muneeb Hafiz discusses films with a not-so-subtle political agenda

2 Catwoman There are many ways to butcher a comic book character and Catwoman does a pretty good job of it, with Halle Berry at the helm steering it into the rocks. Catwoman playing basketball and licking tuna cans are a few of the worst moments in this simply awful film.

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Batman and Robin

The film that almost destroyed Batman on the silver screen seemed to get worse with each viewing. Until Nolan’s reboot of the franchise, this was the last Batman film at the cinemas and occupied a particularly painful place in every fan’s memory. Cheesy, ridiculous and stupid are some of the kinder words that can be used to describe this abomination.

Jacob Crompton-Schreiber

Just a brief glance at the films that are currently being shown in cinemas today highlights a very significant point: politics is inextricably linked with film.

This is not a contemporary phenomenon, however, and cinema has long been a means to highly political ends. It is perhaps both prudent and inevitable for ruling governments to employ the skills of film directors, producers and actors simply due to the ease with which ideology and political messages transcend the big screen. These in turn influence, even manipulate audiences. Why We Fight (Capra, 1943), Triumph of the Will (Riefenstahl, 1935) and Fires Were Started (Jennings, 1943) are all examples of film in the aid of solidifying state position.

However some say after the World Wars political messages in film have been much more subtle and ingenious in their approach. True, films such as Air Force One (Petersen, 1997) and Olympus Has Fallen (Fuqua, 2013), where subtlety is an afterthought have persisted and thrived in the box office. Yet, masterful works such as 5 Broken Cameras (Burnat, 2011) and Zero Dark Thirty (Bigelow, 2012) are perhaps much more powerful than the overt, sometimes laughable attempts of hyper-politic actioners. Their ability to ask audiences cogent ques-

tions about what reality is, probing them to form an opinion based on messages outside of state news, is arguably far more potent than the pro-Western crusades carried out by innumerate government agents on behalf of America and Her Majesty.

Questioning ‘reality’ may sound all too philosophical, but it’s more about thinking critically of what is perpetuated as ‘right’ and deciding whether the ‘us versus them’ dichotomy, a staple of political film, is a true reflection of how we feel about a certain issue or situation.

The fact is many of us enjoy a good old-fashioned no-holds-barred romp against the evil forces that be and the ticket sales speak for themselves. But while cinema may be driven by goals of escapism and entertainment, there is a flip-side of thought-control and propaganda. What remains fundamental is the viewer’s own desire to think and to question. This includes thinking about what’s really going on in a specific region or in a certain time and to question what messages are discussed on screen, however implicit or blatant, interesting or ridiculous.

the mix, as this is really what Batman is like, a dark man surrounded by death and fake smiles.

The Dark Knight movie revealed a whole new menacing and disturbing Joker than Jack Nicholson, showing the true chaos and order relationship that Batman and the Joker have.

This is what modern day audiences want, we don’t want a man that gets thrown off a building and stands up two seconds later, we want pain and suffering because we all suffer.

Reality is what we believe in and when starting with spandex-wearing, underwear on the outside heroes, something has to change to suit our sinister lives. But it’s not all doom and gloom, justice will always prevail.

WIN!

It’s competition time again! This time win tickets to see I’m So Excited at Tyneside Cinema

I’m So Excited is the new comedy from internationally-renowned Spanish director Pedro Almodovar. The fantastic Tyneside Cinema have given us two tickets to give away to one lucky winner.

What novel was Pedro Almodovar’s most recent film The Skin I Live In based on? a) Black Widow b) Tarantula c) House Spider Email your answer to editor.union@ncl. ac.uk before midnight on Thursday 2 May to be in with a chance.

I’m So Excited opens at Tyneside Cinema on 3 May

The Courier

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Monday 29 April 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/film c2.film@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Film

Iron Man 3 (12A) How do you follow something as astounding as Avengers Assemble? When you set the bar to a billion dollar box office standard, there’s bound to be an aroma of scepticism at play. But rest assured there’s no need to panic all you comic book fanboys. Robert Downy Jr’s latest outing as the metallic superhero still has the same suave charm of its genesis story and none of that funny business that Iron Man 2 brought to the table. It delivers all the panache of what we got from Avengers Assemble, but also goes beyond that in terms of storyline.

Like Tony’s never-ending assembly line of hightech armoury, Iron Man 3 is essentially an upgrade of everything good that we’ve seen in the previous instalments and left us with a shinier, slicker and cooler product.

This is one of the first movies ever to be a sequel to two individual films and director Shane Black completely addresses that here. Last time we saw Tony Stark, he was falling through worm holes and saving planet Earth from alien invaders. So now we get to see those ramifications explored but in Tony’s individual story arc. He’s still the sharp-witted

Evil Dead (18)

Five friends head to a remote cabin for the weekend, find ‘The Book of the Dead’, read some latin … hell literally ensues. You know the story. As archetypal as Evil Dead was in genre terms, Sam Raimi’s insane possession film has since become one of the most famous horror films of the 1980s, catapulted to notoriety as a banned ‘video nasty’ because of a certain ‘angry molesting tree scene’.

Although the sequels morphed the franchise into a brilliant comedic parody of itself, Fede Alvarez’s dreaded ‘remake’ of the cult classic thankfully sidesteps the misguided path of other 80s horror remakes with original director Raimi and lead actor Bruce Campbell on executive producer duty.

While some minor changes include protagonist Jane Levy as a cold turkey drug addict, adding a dramatic ‘boy crying wolf ’ dynamic to the plot, the film is largely faithful to the original, using visceral practical effects, beautiful cinematography and the famous flying POV shot, to create a deeply unsettling experience.

In terms of possession-based violence, Alvarez also earns the 18 certificate, showing self –mutilation, demonic antics, foul language and even a nod to the original in a chainsaw-based finale (where the sky literally rains blood). While the production values and acting shine through, the biggest impact of Evil Dead is its surprising quality, which despite having some of the glossy clichés of Americanised horror, manages to weave originality into archetype and refuses to hide its horrific effects behind frantic editing and shock tactics.

VERDICT: As a skillful bloodbath of style and substance, Evil Dead offers that rare experience in cinema of a mainstream horror remake that values its original fan base. Don’t believe me? Wait till after the credits. Groovy ….

Chris Binding

genius, but his intergalactic escapade has left him vulnerable to anxiety attacks and insomnia. On top of that he has two ferocious antagonists toying with him. These are the gravelly-voiced terrorist known as The Mandarin, (played with unbelievable depth by Sir Ben Kingsley) and the greasedback Aldrich Killian played by Guy Pearce. Collectively they manage to destroy everything in Tony’s life and strip him down to a shell of a man. But that’s where this film thrives in its essence, as Iron Man 3 analyses the boundary of where Tony Stark begins and Iron man ends.

What sets this film apart as a stronger instalment is the development of it central characters.

Downy Jr is (as always) on perfect form as the eccentric billionaire. He effortlessly blends charisma and narcissism into an impossible-to-hate leading man. Even in his fourth outing as Stark he manages to demonstrate a new level of defencelessness in his work. And what’s even more refreshing is the expansion of Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow).

She’s been nothing more than a love interest in her time in the franchise, but here she’s given a meatier

role by donning one of the legendary suits.

Shane Black penned the buddy cop film Lethal Weapon and his élan for blending action with comedy gives Iron Man 3 a brilliant balance of character interaction and visually stunning action sequences. The peak of these is a highly satisfying showdown featuring a supporting cast of Tony’s suits.

VERDICT: Iron Man 3 is everything you want it to be. The stakes are higher, the action is more immersive and the dialogue is a tasty mix of brash and fierce. The plot is both technologically relevant and there’s an unexpected twist that even the most astute of film buffs won’t see coming.

Olympus Has Fallen (15)

Promised Land (15)

The Gatekeepers (15)

Antoine Fuqua, best known for Tears of the Sun (starring Bruce Willis) and King Arthur (starring Keira Knightley and Clive Owen) directs the latest political action film to hit cinema screens. The North Korean’s have cunningly taken over the Whitehouse and President (Aaron Eckhart) has been taken hostage. Which leaves Morgan Freeman as the stand-in President. This is only the first 20 minutes and I already want to shake the director’s hand personally.

It takes just 13 minutes for the White House to be overrun with Koreans, and the clatter of bullets begins at around six minutes (lets hope this stays fiction). Whoever will save the day? Gerard Butler, that’s who! He plays the trigger-happy exsecret service Redneck Mike Banning, haunted by an accident, which resulted in the death of the First Lady (Ashley Judd). Banning has to singlehandedly find the President’s son, rescue the President and then puts those pesky North Korean’s in their place. Sounds straightforward, right?

Despite the gallons of annoying US propaganda being pumped into the film, the over-patriotic musical score, an extra-evil mastermind Kang (Rick Yune), and well-crafted dialogue (“Are you from the North, ‘cos you sure as hell aren’t from the South!”), it’s an extremely enjoyable film. The best part was where Butler beats a Korean in the Oval Office and finishes him off with an iron bust of Abraham Lincoln; very symbolic.

When a corporate big-shot rocks up at a small, rural town on the outskirts of the city, you know things are not going to go smoothly.

With a confident sales pitch and the perfect ‘back story’, Steve Butler (Matt Damon) goes to sell what he thinks is the farming communities only escape from the bleak economic outlook laid before them, natural gas worth millions hidden under their land. Butler and fellow sales woman Sue Thomason (Frances McDormand) are depicted the standard city types, quite out of touch with the people they are selling too, yet seemingly able to persuade them, with the help of large financial figures, to the ‘Global’ initiative.

The pair however, get taken on by respected school teacher Frank Yates, explaining how dangerous the process of extracting the natural gas could be to the towns’ livelihoods and farms that they inherited from their father’s and which they will in turn pass down to their own children.

The film itself was free of melodrama which was refreshing and had real comedic moments, which I was not really expecting and made the characters less two dimensional. It also unravelled a big twist which I was successfully oblivious to (there are also a couple of romances thrown in for good measure). It seems a bit slow at times - unfortunately you don’t get the heart pumping drama you get from some ‘let’s bring down the capitalist scum’ movies - but understated is not all bad and is a reflection of Damon’s style.

An in-depth interview with the six surviving former heads of Israel secret intelligence agency, Shin Bet, dealing with their work in counter-terrorism in the West Bank and Gaza.

From the get-go, The Gatekeepers is sinister, slick, potent and alluring. The composition and the stateof-the-art graphics pulls you into the murky depths of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

But the brilliance of this film is not simply in its aesthetic excellence.

Instead it lies, perhaps more poignantly, in the detailed account it makes of the work of Shin Bet. There are probing questions, some gritty, powerful, disturbing archive footage, and a dark mystery to the way the film simultaneously documents the tales of the six chiefs and the progression of conflict. The Gatekeepers is merciless in its account, relentless in its critical lens and profound in its revelatory force.

This film is as much an extensive look at the role of Shin Bet as it is a diligent analysis of the impact of power and institution on the human spirit. While it offers an ingenious perspective on the conflict, it does not make allowances for those who are unfamiliar with the politics of it. That all those involved feel the need to justify their actions, speaks volumes about illegitimacy and spurious motivations, yet, in the way it deals with the emotion of human loss, and the hopelessness of the situation, it appeals to anyone with a heart, and is moving, ground breaking cinema.

VERDICT: All in all it’s a story, not just about the small town taking on the big city, but about a man facing up to his own morality. It won’t stay with you like Erin Brockovich, but for Matt Damon alone, it’s worth a watch.

VERDICT: There are not enough superlatives for the revelatory and cinematic prowess of Dror Moreh’s extraordinary look at a deeply complex situation. It is a masterful documentary and a fascinating insight into the human mind in equal measure.

Amy Forde

Muneeb Hafiz

VERDICT: Yes the plot has many flaws, it’s easy to see, but that’s what makes the film so enjoyable.

It’s escapist entertainment, take it or leave it. It had the body of a Die Hard film, the mind of the TV series 24 and soul of a Saving Private Ryanesque war film, what a perfect combination.

Dylan Healey

Luke Hearfield

The Courier

science.39

Monday 29 April 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk

Science Editor: James Simpson

Do we rely too heavily on technology? Wake me

Technology is all around us - we use it every day and probably carry around a little piece of technology in our pockets at all times. James Ricketts looks at whether we are relying too heavily on it

W

e live in a globalised world where we can communicate and travel to far away lands at great speed. Facebook and Easyjet are two instances of organizations that supply new age technological benefits to us with relative efficiency.

When we wander down the multiple shopping isles of Tesco, for a price, we can experience the commodities of the world: prawns from Thailand, green beans from Zimbabwe, Lynx deodorant from China and Yorkshire tea from India.

Whilst planes whizz us off to charming holidays, Cargo ships guided by complex electronic navigation systems incessantly trawl the oceans bringing us our dinners and denim jeans. This has all been made possible by the white heat

of technology.

The transitions necessary to aid the constant flux of movement, energy and cyber space are ultimately reliant upon technology not faltering. On the 16th April, American Airways flights were grounded for several long hours, due to a malfunction with a boisterous computer system.

Understandably this created an air of immense frustration amongst passengers, who were delayed immeasurably.

Important company meetings were missed, lovers were denied union and sun burnt holiday goers were unable to return to their respective abodes.

This international breakdown was all due to one computer system’s refusal to play game. Meanwhile the Internet remained strong, allowing flight attend-

ants to ‘tweet’ vital information such as “My best guess is y’all’s best guess”. If this one rascal computer caused so much pandemonium, it makes one wonder what horrors would occur if it were to happened on a much larger scale.

The inconvenient truth is that if all technology was to fail tomorrow, and it could, then the western world would face near annihilation. The whole political, economic and societal structure in which we govern our existence would crumble. Everything we know how to run our lives by would be gone. We would be without a system that makes the trains run on time, provides the wisdom of Wikipedia and prints out our beloved Courier student newspaper. Rogues would pillage and plunder.

I would pursue a simple life deep in the

Image:Wikimedia

woodland of Jesmond Dene, but many students would die from horrible causes or be driven to insanity under the new anarchic disorder. But this is not to say that there wouldn’t be beneficiaries.

With the disorganization that would follow a technological black out, international companies would no longer be able to ship out the crops from countries that face mass starvation. Perhaps it would be the case that third world countries would be able to enjoy their own natural wealth. Places with a more tribal or localized societal structure would be able to hack the chaos; a remote Amazon tribe wouldn’t be overly bothered by the whole epidemic whereas Jesmond would tear itself apart in a hell bent fury. Without the appropriate technology to maintain factories, airports and supermarkets - the absence of pollution and global warming would be a well-deserved rest for the natural world.

The way in which we live is entirely dependant on technology and we are all obsessed with our glowing screens.

But why turn back? Haven’t we gone too far down the tunnel already? It’s not all that bad, I for one enjoy my iPod’s company on a morning run. When the evil villains succeed in their mission to wipe out the technological mainframe that we all know and love, we will be at their mercy. However, ignorance is bliss and if we are facing impeding doom due to a mass technological shutdown; then so be it.

There’s not much we can do to prepare ourselves for this fateful occurrence, except to stock up on cans of soup and make sure that our shotguns are well oiled and with plenty of spare cartridges. Until that day we should live out our routine lives without fearing the unavoidable. In short: ‘tweet’ away and forget this article ever happened, but make sure to read The Machine Stops, written by E.M.Foster.

Disease from the depths

up before you dodo With over twenty species on the WWF ‘critically endangered’ list, Becca Price looks at the bizzare new theory of de-extinction

Y

ou may have seen some articles floating around the place recently, about scientists working on ways to reverse extinction. A pretty big claim, but what exactly do they mean by that?

We’ve already been able to clone animals with an intact cell, but now it could be possible to use DNA from extinct animals to create hybrid cells with closely related animals, essentially creating a new clone. The living animals ‘fill in the gaps’ of DNA where the extinct animal’s sample has worn out with age.

Scientists have had some minor success with cloning a Pyrenean ibex (a large deer/goat like animal that went extinct in the year 2000). The baby ibex only survived a few minutes, and other attempts with extinct frogs were even less successful, but it’s a start. Though having some boy ibexes around to clone as well as just one female set of DNA would improve the long term chances.

Although Jurassic Park is still some while off (we don’t have any dinosaur DNA), it could be theoretically possible to bring back animals that have been preserved, like mammoths, which would still be an interesting addition to Whipsnade zoo. Alternatively, wouldn’t you want to try a dodo burger, just once, to say you had?

This could be a major breakthrough for everything from genetic research to wildlife preservation. And with an inestimable number of species dying out every day, the world could do with an ‘undo’ button.

But other ethical considerations remain. Some scientists have tried to bring back the Passenger pigeon - which destroyed forests, ruined crops and generally kept US cities an inch thick in mess before disappearing. Would we really want them reintroduced? And would giving species a rematch against natural selection mess with delicate eco systems? We won’t know until we set a couple of sabre tooth tigers loose.

Outbreaks are not not an uncommon thing to see on front page news stories, but how many of them actually go reported when they’re not directly affecting humans? Carl Jonsson looks at those marine creatures who are often forgotten

T

here aren’t many weeks where the media fail to report another new and upcoming epidemic - new outbreaks of bird flu in Southern China or a few hundred infected with measles in Wales. Considering the human obsession with disease and

Image:Wikimedia

staying healthy, it is strange that so little attention is paid to diseases in the wild and even less so beneath the surface of the ocean where things are generally out of sight.

One of the largest human disease outbreaks in modern time was the Spanish flu in 1918 where around 30% of the world was infected. In the ocean, these levels have been reached several times since then, and by a host of different pathogens.

In 1988, there was a massive morbillivirus outbreak amongst harbour seals here in England.

Morbilliviruses are the same type of pathogen that causes measles and mumps in humans. In seals it appears as the variation on a

virus common in dogs! No-one is quite sure how this actually reached England in the first place; all we know is that all of the sudden around 18,000 harbour seals popped their clogs. Due to the difficult nature of vaccination (have you ever tried injecting a seal?) there was concern of a reinfection which proved right in 2002 wiping out over half the British Harbour seal population.

We shift our focus to the Caribbean now and looking at something completely different to harbour seal, sea urchins. In 1994, over 97% of black sea urchin populations vanished within the year. Even now, almost 10 years on no one knows what actually caused this.

Problematically, these sea urchins are the main grazers of algae on coral reefs around the Caribbean. Because of the

lack of any grazers, coral reefs were subsequently covered with algae and destroyed - causing great economic harm to the area as fish populations migrated elsewhere.

Even as you are reading this article, a parasite known as Toxoplasma gondii is spreading throughout otter populations off the coast of California. Some studies have indicated that this single, tiny parasite may be the cause of up to 50% of sea otter deaths - with around 40% of current populations being infected.

Most of these diseases would be very difficult for us to catch, unless you have weird relationships with otters. But the next time you’re afraid you’re going to get the latest scary H3N8 virus, just imagine what’d be like being an otter.

Image:Wikimedia

40.puzzles

Monday 29 April 2013

Puzzles

The Courier

Puzzles Editors: Tom Nicholson and Sally Priddle

Win a £4 MensBar voucher*

Find yourself stumped?

Check out The Courier’s website next week for the solutions

Busy day? Have a sit down, grab a coffee and unwind with this week’s puzzles - and return them to the Courier office to have a chance of winning drinks at MensBar Be the first to work out which celebrities these pictures

Crossword 1

2

Picture-makey-phrase

spell out to win a £4 Mens Bar Voucher

5

4

3

=?

6 7 8 9

=?

10

11 12

13

14

Sudoku

15 16

17

18

3

19

Across

Down

1 Bear who is smarter than average (4) 3 Large, portable music-playing system (7) 6 The emergency services; 1977 Disney film about mice who help people out (8) 7 Krautrock band; metal cylinder containing food, drink or snakes (3) 8 Pixar masterpiece (2) 9 Fake grass playing surface (9) 11 One who openly and playfully signals their interest in potential romantic partners (5) 12 See 1 down 13 Control yourself! (4, 4) 16 One who acts uncontrollably and erratically (4) 17 Japanese dressing gown, frequently confused with breed of dragon (6) 18 Fizzy; lively (12)

1, 11, 2 across Hit 1986 single for Paul Simon 2 A decoration or embellishment, particularly on food (7) 3 On the bounce (4-2-4) 4 Reflective surface; to mimic (6) 5 Percussion instrument (9) 10 Disapproving expression (5) 11 See 1 down 14 Infectious virus which makes the neck swell like that of a toad (5) 15 Animal’s foot; kick really hard and in an uncultured manner (4) 18 Possess (3)

4 5 8 3 6

4 6

5 1

2

7 3 4 5

3

7 5

1 4

9 2 8 8 4

2

*The first person to bring the completed crossword or Picture-makey-phrase to The Courier office in the Students’ Union will be awarded the £4 prize and the respect of their peers, which let’s be honest is priceless

The Courier

featuressport.41

Monday 29 April 2013

Pirelli causing a spin in F1

With controversial changes made to Pirelli tyres in the current Formula One season, James Docherty discusses how the strategy has changed and explores the science behind different tyre compounds The Formula One season is now four races old and shaping up to be as exciting as 2012. In terms of performance, little seems to have changed amongst the front-runners with Sebastian Vettel and Fernando Alonso looking likely to continue their fight for the Drivers’ Championship. One person hoping to muscle in on this duopoly is Kimi Raikkonen, whose Lotus has gone from occasionally gracing the podium to being a consistent performer; placing him ten points behind Vettel and the team 16 behind Red Bull in the Constructors’ Championship.

Lotus have achieved this step-up in performance through a mixture of developing a strong aerodynamic package and a car that seems easy on its tyres; this contrasts to the Red Bull and other front running manufacturers who are finding tyre wear, especially on the rear of the car, to be hindering their perfor-

a maiden podium finish through managing to make one fewer pit stops than those around them. Eventually however, the Lotus of Roman Grosjean managed to close the gap and take third. Felipe Massa of Ferrari was also on for a strong finish after delivering an excellent lap in qualifying on the harder compound, but suffered two tyre failures in the race – both of which Pirelli will be eager to investigate and prevent in the future.

These changes to tyre composition have not been without their detractors.

Red Bull has petitioned Pirelli to make their tyres more durable after the softer tyre used in China was capable of running for under ten laps during the race.

Both drivers commented that tyre strategy is now dominating the weekend, with running during practice and qualifying minimised to conserve tyres for the race. However, the strength of the Red Bull lies in its strong aerodynamic

mance.

So why are tyres now so critical to race results? Since 2011, Pirelli have been the sole tyre supplier in Formula One, and prior to their entry into the sport, the FIA, the governing body of motorsport, instructed them to reduce tyre life in an attempt to deliver more exciting racing. Pirelli have duly delivered, giving a spectrum of tyres with large variety in their lifespan, meaning drivers have to choose whether to sacrifice tyre life for lap time, or to lap more conservatively and gain time by reducing pit stops.

This was evident at the last Grand Prix in Bahrain, where Raikkonen finished second and Paul Di Resta came close to

package, rather than use of mechanical grip gained from the tyres and suspension, so comments such as this should be viewed in context, especially since other teams have succeeded in managing tyres through races and delivering strong results.

With three weeks between Bahrain and the next race in Spain, teams now have time to take the data from the four “fly away” races and arrive in Barcelona with car modifications that complement the tyre performance. With wear being a critical factor, we should expect styles to adapt and the grid beginning to embrace the unpredictability that Pirelli have brought to the sport.

“...we should expect styles to adapt and the grid beginning to embrace the unpredictability that Pirelli have brought to the sport”

The tyres in action Photography: Getty Images

The Tyres used in Formula One are as similar to road tyres as a Big Mac is to tea at the Ritz. Within motorsport, weight is a premium, so the tyre is built on a polyester carcass, with the rubber compound molded on top. The operating temperature for these tyres is narrow, between 70 and 90 °C, with a lack of grip at low temperatures and high tyre wear at high temperatures.

There are four compounds of dry tyre and two for wet racing within Formula one, with two dry tyres selected for each race. The harder of the two tyres is the “Prime” tyre for the weekend, with the faster but less long-lasting tyre called the “Option”. During a dry race, drivers must complete at least one lap on both compounds, though two to three stops is the norm. Teams only have three sets of each dry tyre available for qualifying and the race, with the top ten drivers starting the race on the tyres they used for qualifying. Therefore, drivers have to decide whether to sacrifice qualifying speed for durability, or to go for pure pace and break away early in the race before their tyres degrade.

Back of the net Video of the week

Spot the ball

Testing times

A

1)Who won the Bahrain Grand Prix?

2) Liverpool player Luis Suarez has been banned for 10 games. How may goals does he leave the Premier League this season with?

3) What is the name of Danny Cipriani’s famous model girlfriend?

4) Manchester United’s Premier League Championship title this season is the 20th in their history. What number title is it for Sir Alex Ferguson?

5) Who scored all of Borussia Dortmund’s four goals against Real Madrid?

1.) Vettel 2.) 23 3.) Kelly Brook 4.) 13 5.) Robert Lewandowski

Elliot Daly gets it in the bin! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eq0Ag1NDFE During London Wasps’ Aviva Premiership match against Exeter Chiefs, Elliot Daly clears his lines and gets it straight in the bin.

Tip of the week

So it may seem almost impossible but can we really rule out Spanish giants Barcelona and Real Madrid staging a comeback from their comprehensive first leg defeats to Bayern and - Andy Powell - @andypowell8 Dortmund? “@DannyCipriani87 has been double deckered #hisbestPlacing a couple of tackleoftheseasonyet” pounds on an all Spanish final (25 Apr) Welsh International Rugby Union player Andy Powell finds hilarity in his fellow Sale Sharks teammate Danny Cipriani being hit by could prove rewarding. Stranger things have happened. a bus on a night out in Leeds last Wednesday night.

(Odds from SkyBet)

Tweet of the week

Red Bull Racing mechanic working on the Pirelli tyres at Bahrain (Left) and Vettel taking a pitstop (right) Photography: Getty Images

66/1

B

C

D

E

1 2 3 4 5 6 Want to win a £4 MensBar voucher?

E-mail courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk where you think the ball is.

F

42.sportfeatures

Monday 29 April 2013

The Courier

Paul Collingwood: True grit With three Ashes wins to his name and having captained England to their only World Cup win, there are not many more stellar career’s than Durham legend Paul Collingwood’s. England’s most capped and highest run scoring One Day International spoke to Sports Editor Ralph Blackburn

I

t should have been the pinnacle of a career. After losing the first test of the 2006/7 Ashes by over two hundred runs, Paul Collingwood came to crease with England at 45-2. Alastair Cook and Andrew Strauss were already back in the pavilion, and England were in danger or losing the series before it had even started.

Five hundred and fifteen minutes later, after seeing off two of the greatest bowlers of all time in Shane Warne and Glenn McGrath, Collingwood left the crease having scored 206, the first time an Englishman had scored a double century in Australia since Wally Hammond, seventy years earlier. He brought up his double ton with a straight lofted four off Michael Clarke, and when he

was finally caught at the wicket by Stuart Clark the ground erupted and gave a standing ovation.

Sadly that was as good as it got for England, who collapsed from 69-1 in the second innings to 129 all out. Australia mopped up the total with six wickets to spare and Ricky Ponting and Warne described it as their greatest ever victory. England ended up losing the series 5-0.

Thinking back on it Collingwood said, “I have to say it still brings a smile to my face but obviously losing the game keeps a sour taste in my mouth.” When asked about the merits of such an iconic innings in a losing cause he paused; “it’s a tricky one because against Australia, against that bowling line up, everyone

would say that’s your pinnacle. But I love the innings where you’re really contributing to the team, in terms of doing something to get a positive result.” Harking back to the 2009 Ashes series, when Collingwood parked the proverbial bus occupying the crease for nearly six hours in a match saving 74, he said, “the innings at Cardiff or Capetown do give you a lot of satisfaction; what you’ve done wasn’t a selfish innings, it was for the team so it does give you a lot of satisfaction.”

Collingwood talked to the Courier whilst preparing for Yorkshire’s visit to the North East, with the return of local lad Liam Plunkett providing some early-season spice to the encounter.

Chester-le-street’s Lumley Castle pro-

vided a fitting backdrop to the interview, with a surprisingly warm wind blowing onto Wearside, as the Shotley Bridge-born local boy spoke about Durham’s targets for the season. “I don’t think we specifically target one format of the game. The twenty20 form of the game is more commercialized and there’s more money involved but you really want to win the four day form of the game, because it’s the traditional side of the game, Durham have had some good success over the last few years in it.”

Collingwood took over the captaincy of his beloved home county last year from Phil Mustard and said at the moment he wasn’t thinking about retirement just yet, “I’ve got two years left on my contract, and so by the time next year comes around I’ll be thirty eight.

It’s gonna be a bit of a push about that time, but I’m fit, I’m still playing with a smile on my face, as long as I’m doing that there’s no thought of retirement.

But you’ve got to understand that certainly at county level you’ve got to allow the youngsters to come through.”

Collingwood was quick to dampen talk that the Indian Premier League was having an adverse affect on the County Championship, “the first five or six weeks of the county season you do miss some of the guys that are over in the IPL; whether it affects the competition too much, probably not. You can never really question the guys who go over to the IPL because of the money that’s involved.

It’s actually probably a positive because of the experience they gain and the skills they learn from the best players in the world. To say that the county championship is weaker because of it, I wouldn’t agree.”

When talking about his own participation in the IPL, Collingwood cracked into a smile, “it was absolutely fantastic. It’s an experience that you can only really explain to someone who’s been there. It’s very hard to describe what the atmosphere’s like and the competition is like. India’s a place where it’s cricket, cricket, cricket all the time.”

Collingwood has been widely regarded as one of the greatest fielders of all time. In a One Day International match against Australia in 2005, Collingwood caught Matthew Hayden one handed in the covers with a leap reminiscent of a

your game.”

Collingwood also commented on the development of batting noting: “the power of batsman has improved. A lot of people go on about the size of bats, but I don’t think it’s got too much to do with it. It’s literally the skill level of the batsman, the power they’re putting into it. The bat speed they’re putting into it and the techniques that have been introduced have brought a lot of positives into the game.”

flying squirrel. Collingwood said fielding was the most noticeable improvement in the other forms of the game since the advent of twenty20.

“Fielding standards have just gone through the roof. It’s fantastic to see proper athletes. You’re expected to be diving around whether you’re a fast bowler or an opening batsman, you’ve got to have at least two disciplines to

Collingwood captained England’s twenty20 team to the nation’s only international tournament triumph in 2010. Asked how that ranked on his career achievements Collingwood was undecided, “look it’s always going to be up there because of being captain and being the first world event that England have won. The Ashes of course, they’re all up there, you literally cannot say one

“I have to say it still brings a smile to my face, but obviously losing the game keeps a sour taste in my mouth”

The Courier

featuressport.43

Monday 29 April 2013

Collingwood trooping off the pitch to a standing ovation after his magnificent 206 against Australia in Adelaide in 2006 Photography: Getty Images

was better than the other.” Such a career makes Collingwood one of England’s most decorated cricketers of modern times. Few English players have won three Ashes series, particularly not in

of the game, bring your bowlers on at the right time. There is a lot of research that goes on behind the scenes. It’s an intriguing game, I guess people think its just hitting big and all that kind of stuff

career and it probably wasn’t until 2005 being involved in the last Ashes test at the Oval. After that I think I only missed one game in the next six years.

It’s hard gaining confidence until you

“Muralitharan was someone who already bamboozled me, but once he got them 15 degrees it was pretty much impossible.

I didn’t have a clue”

Australia. Collingwood was part of the team that achieved that feat in 2010-11 for the first time in twenty-one years.

How difficult was it to captain an international twenty20 side? Collingwood spoke of a subtlety that is often not mentioned regarding a side of the game that has cheerleaders and music accompanying fours and sixes.

“I think the shorter the form of the game, the more scientific it becomes in terms of bowling plans and batting plans. I always used to say you’ve got to be probably three overs at least ahead of the game. The twenty20 form of the game changes from over to over, so you’ve got to make sure you read ahead

but when you get down to the nitty gritty, execution comes into it a great deal.”

Collingwood is arguably England’s greatest ever one day player. As well as captaining England to the twenty20 world cup, Collingwood is England’s most capped One Day International player, England’s highest ODI run scorer and has England’s best ODI bowling figures with 6 for 31.

Collingwood spoke of the trouble of breaking into the test team early in his career, after having been so prolific in the shorter form of the game. “It was tricky early on in the international career. I was pretty much pigeon holed as a one day international early in my

actually get runs at the top level. It was tough work to begin with; I remember in 2001, in the one day form of the game we played against Australia in Pakistan, it was a real tough series and you kind of question your self belief.” In the series mentioned Collingwood made his international debut, and scored a mere twenty-two runs taking no wickets.

“You question your self belief at international level until you score runs.

That’s the thing that really gives you the confidence to kick on.” The England selectors were patient with Collingwood, a move that undoubtedly paid dividends.

Collingwood’s insight into the fairly

mystifying concept of a zen like state, which international cricketers talk about regularly, was fascinating. “It definitely exists, I mean we all talk about being in the bubble or whatever you want, but you’re in a state of being so focused that when that ball comes down, you don’t think there’s any way you’re

going to get out. It seems every movement and every decision you make is the right one.

You’re pretty much in the zone and all of the top sportsmen in the world talk about it. Look at any time you’ve scored a hundred or get into that position when the consequences are no longer thought about. So you’re no longer thinking about getting out, you’re no longer thinking about anything else but scoring runs.”

The hardest bowler you’ve faced?

“Muralitharan, he was someone who already bamboozled me, but I found him very hard to pick, particularly at the back end of my career since he got the 15 degree ruling in the elbow. Early doors I didn’t find him as hard to face, but once he got them 15 degrees it was pretty much impossible. I didn’t have a clue.”

Collingwood’s international career was a decade long, spanning three great England captains. “I quite enjoyed playing under Michael Vaughan, a very relaxed captain, always very positive and I had a lot of success under him. Andrew Strauss had very different strengths and I enjoyed playing under him a lot.

He was very well prepared, planning was always high on the agenda. Comparing the two, Nasser was completely different; highly strung and you felt as though there was more pressure around, but it’s hard to stay who was best. At the time English cricket needed a Nasser, we needed toughening up as a group of individuals, but again I really enjoyed playing under him. You can take a little bit from all the captains that you play under.

Looking ahead to the summer Collingwood is delighted that Chesterle-street is hosting an Ashes test: “it’s good for the area, it’s great for the North East to get such a high profile event and hopefully the area does very well out of it.”

And how would England do? “I think it will be closer than a lot of people are talking about. People are saying a whitewash or something like that, I think Australia are still a very good side but I do expect England to win in English conditions. It’s a very solid England team, no real weaknesses so I think they’re going to put Australia under real pressure.”

As the conversation turned to other sports, Collingwood, a diehard Sunderland fan, certainly reveled in the recent derby victory. “They’ve had two good results, obviously Newcastle and Everton so I’d expect them to stay up. Whenever Sunderland beat Newcastle I tend to make sure Harmy (Steve Harmison) knows about it. Back in 1999 or 2000 I brought a Sunderland shirt in the next day, and he certainly tried to get the cigarette lighter out.”

Collingwood turns the ball onto the leg side Photography: Getty Images

44.sportintramural

Monday 29 April 2013

The Courier

Eco win Division Two crown Division Two

The Hurricanes

1

Ecosoccer

4

Devlin 22 (pen)

Humberstone 10, Goddard 12, 65 (pen), Jesmond 67 (pen

By Ralph Blackburn at Longbenton

Skinner Duggha

Tyler

Holroyde

Rout

Butler

Clark

Leadbeater

Martin

Devlin

Mann

Goddard

Humberstone

Bond

Finelli Warren

Wheeler

Stacey

Homer

Smith

Dennis

Miles

Ecosoccer sealed the Division 2 title with a comprehensive 4-1 victory against a tired Hurricanes side, when Aftermath could only draw with Roman Villa 1-1 earlier in the day. Two Ecosoccer penalties in as many minutes, one each by Zack Goddard and Joey Jesmond, halfway through the second period took the match out of sight of the Hurricanes, after a Blaine Devlin penalty had pulled the ‘Canes back into touching distance following two early Ecosoccer strikes.

Ecosoccer could feel lucky to finish the game with eleven men, after centre back Bart Smith should really have been sent off following a handball which denied a goal scoring opportunity prior to Devlin’s penalty.

There was doubt as to whether the match would go ahead earlier in the day, with the Hurricanes reportedly trying to get the matched rescheduled following their participation in the Wednesday Cup final the previous day.

However, after knowing about the fix-

ture pile up a week in advance, it was really too late to alter the date of the game merely twenty hours before kick off. With the Hurricanes missing leading goal scorer Adam Duckworth and strike parter Chris McCrory and much of the side having played four games in eight days due to cup commitments, top of the table Ecosoccer came into the tie far fresher and the bookies favourites.

This freshness told quickly and after a quiet opening ten minutes with neither side asserting themselves, a neat passing move from Ecosoccer led to them opening the scoring. Captain Tom Warren slipped the ball into the feet of striker Chris Humberstone who controlled the ball quickly and span away from the Hurricanes centre back before playing a slide rule pass to strike partner Goddard. Ecosoccer’s veteran striker scampered to the byline, before crossing to Humberstone who smashed a header beyond the helpless Ben Skinner in the ‘Canes net.

Ecosoccer doubled their lead two minutes later when, after Rob Stacey was scythed down on the edge of the box, Goddard drove an unstoppable free kick past Skinner, who could merely palm it into his own net. Goddard wheeled away in celebration, waving his hands manically, knowing that the title had likely been secured.

The Hurricanes however were far from out of it. Unlucky to lose the cup final the previous day in a close game against favourites Henderson Hall, they pulled a goal back ten minutes after Eco’s second. Confusion between the two Ecosoccer centre backs, and flapping goal keeper Fred Miles, led to Miles bizarrely jumping over a back pass allowing the marauding Devlin to run through on goal, facing an open net.

His shot was dramatically blocked on the line by a sliding Bart Smith, however when both Devlin and Miles began to converge on the ball lying next to a prone Smith, he handled denying Devlin open net. Referee Steve Catchpole immediately pointed to the spot as the Hurricanes bench erupted screaming for a red.

Catchpole instead pulled out a yellow, possibly judging that Miles, who was as close to the ball as Devlin, could have saved. It was still a lucky escape for Ecosoccer, who must have feared for a replay of the previous weeks clash between the two teams, when left back James Wheeler took an early shower.

League Tables

Zack Goddard scores from the spot for Ecosoccer Photography: Ralph Blackburn

Devlin, who was the Hurricanes most dangerous player all game, smashed the penalty into the back of the net.

This gave the Hurricanes momentum, with center midfielder Tom Clark robbing Warren of the ball, driving at the defense, and having a fierce left footed shot turned around the post by an alert Miles.

Ecosoccer looked threatening on the counter attack with Goddard’s movement pulling off the central defenders into the channels giving the Hurricanes defense problems the whole match.

Humberstone’s clever dink over the top put Goddard through, however on an angle he blasted his shot flush against the bar.

As the half time approached it was again Ecosoccer who were in the ascendancy. A throw in from the left saw an unmarked Warren screw his shot from the edge of the box wide. Then Ecosoccer right winger Tom Bond cleverly turned inside, powering past defenders, and his thirty yard shot cannoned off the bar, with ‘keeper skinner acrobatically saving right back Jon Dennis’ follow up.

After the half time interval, Joey Jesmond came on into the centre park for Ecosoccer, replacing an injured Humberstone. Liverpool native Jesmond be-

gan asserting himself on the game, controlling the tempo by spraying passes quarter back style from deep.

On 65 minutes Ecosoccer got their second break of the game. After Eco winger Will Finelli, who had switched sides from left to right, has his shot blocked, he picked up the lose ball and was lightly clipped. A slightly dramatic tumble again saw referee Catchpole pointing to the spot. It was the case of a foul which would usually be given outside the box, however inside a penalty is not always given.

Goddard always looked confident as he ran up to the spot and blasted the penalty past a hapless Skinner. Within another two minutes the game was out of sight for Ecosoccer. A delightful Jesmond pass put Bond, who had moved up front, through on goal. When his shot from an angle was well saved by Skinner, a following up Stacey was clumsily impeded by a reckless slide tackle.

This time the penalty was never in doubt, and Jesmond wrapped up a strong performance off the bench, by calmly sending Skinner the wrong way.

After this the Hurricanes’ exploits in the Cup final the previous day began to tell, with veteran midfielder James Butler clearly running on empty.

Ecosoccer’s central defensive pair of Bart Smith and James Homer never looked likely to concede. With Smith and Homer both playing, Ecosoccer have not conceded a goal from open play since November, and a three goal cushion was always going to be ample.

After the final whistle the Hurricanes trudged off, with the all too familiar tale of a fine cup run coming in the way of league form rearing its head again. The Hurricanes will have to make sure they beat Aftermath next Tuesday to ensure promotion, which looked all but certain only a few weeks ago.

Ecosoccer, not knowing the result from the Aftermath game earlier on the day, were fairly subdued, despite promotion being assured. However after news began to filter through later that night of Villa holding the mathematicians to a draw, Ecosoccer’s right midfielder Tom Bond said “I’m ecstatic, a lot of the team are third years, and so we knew it was our last shot at securing the league title. It’s the just reward for a lot of blood, sweat and tears that have been shed on the training pitch.

The gaffer (Tom Warren) always quoted Alan Hansen, saying ‘power, pace and passion are the most important factors’, and ultimately this secured us the title.”

Wednesday 11 a-side Football

Division 1 1

Division 13

Division 2

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

Newcastle Medics 2nds

11

9

1

1

43

14

28 1

Ecosoccer

11

9

0

2

32

13

27

1

Division 41

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

Pld Pld WW

DD

LL

Jesmondino FC

9

8

1

0

48

13

25

1 1 FCBarca Bayern Toonich Law Na

Team Team

11 12

99

21

0 2 6750 1715 29 28

F F AA

Pts Pts

2

Newcastle Medics 1sts

11

8

0

3

43

15

24 2

The Hurricanes

11

7

0

4

34

29

21

2

Brown Magic FC

10

6

1

3

28

22

19

2 2 Thundercats Newcastle Medics 1sts

1012

78

22

1 2 5436 1720 23 26

3

Henderson Hall FC

10

5

1

4

27

27

16 3

Aftermath FC

10

6

1

3

26

19

16

3

Newcastle Dynamos

11

5

2

4

24

23

17

3 3 Sub-Standard Liege Henderson Hall

12 12

77

21

3 4 5141 3229 23 22

4

Dyslexic Untied

11

5

0

6

22

31

15 4

Roman Villa FC

12

4

1

7

21

28

13

4

Politic Thistle FC

11

4

1

6

28

30

13

Dyslexic Untied 4 4 The Establishment

12 11

76

01

19 4 5 4032 2426 21

Boca Seniors

9

3

2

4

22

23

11

5

Multiple Scoregasms

11

3

2

6

20

34

11

5 5 Trigger Happy Crayola

12 12

45

00

8 7 3718 6222 12 15

5

Barca-Law-Na

8

4

0

4

29

15

6

Dyslexic Untied

9

3

0

6

14

28

12 5 6 6

7

Borussia Forsyth

10

0

0

10

10

58

0

7

Castle Leazes

12

2

1

9

21

33

10

6

Newhist FC

11

3

2

6

20

34

11

6 (R) Geomatics Aftermath

11 12

23

00

9 9 1814 5147

69

Lokomotiv

11

4

1

6

24

35

4

7

Bio Neverlosen

9

1

1

7

6

35

4

7 (R) Crystal CastlePhallus Leazes

12 12

11

01

1110 1512 7542

34

Top Goalscorers

6: Womersley (Crayola)

Top Goalscorers

23: Batham (Medic 2s)

5: Hoctor (Barca)

19: Duckworth (Hurricanes)

10: Campbell (Medic 1s),

4: Robson (Dyslexic), Holt, Needham (Medics 2s),

11: Jones (Aftermath)

5: McCrory, Butler (Hurricanes), Jones (Leazes), Golzari (Aftermath), Humberstone (Ecosoccer)

6: Wilson (Aftermath)

4: Bond (Ecosoccer)

9: Hurworth (Barca)

FIXTURES - 1/5/13 (unless stated)

Division One Borussia Forsyth vs. Barca-Law-Na (30/5/13) Barca-Law-Na vs. Newcastle Medics 1st Barca-Law-Na vs. Crayola (2/5/13) Borussia Forsyth vs. Henderson Hall (5/5/13) Crayola vs. Barca-Law-Na (5/5/13)

Division Two Boca Seniors vs. Lokomotiv (1/5/13)

Top Goalscorers

4:Hughes (Politic Thistle)

13: Thornton (Politic Thistle)

3:Wren (Brown), Walton (Ne- 21: Wimshurst (Subwhist) Standard Liege)

6: Smith (Jesmondino)

Top Goalscorers

2: Grosvenor (Scorgasms),, 18: Armour (Toonich) Rowe (Brown)

Division Three Politic Thistle FC vs. Bioneverlosen

12: Hammil (Trigger) 8: Prichard (Thundercats), Page (Toonich), Comer (Trigger) 7: O’Callaghan (Toonich)

Division Four Thundercats vs. FC Bayern Toonich

The Courier

intramuralsport.45

Monday 29 April 2013

Nearly men no more Continued from page 48 The Hurricanes continued to threaten however, and came close once again five minutes later. A stirring solo run from centre-half Will Laurence was brought to a premature end by Taylor, earning the Blues a free-kick 25 yards from goal with the Hendo centre-half also rightly receiving a booking based on the cynical nature of the challenge. The resulting setpiece from playmaker Chris Ripley was wonderfully struck and appeared bound for the net, only to cruelly come back off the post with Pudner, for once, beaten all ends up.

The frame of the goal had barely stopped shaking when the Hurricanes created another opening. This time Duckworth forced a smart save from Pudner following a neat turn and shot from the Blue marksman. With the Hurricanes beginning to sense a touch of nerves in the Hendo defence, the Division Two side continued to press up until the half-time whistle. Right on the stroke of the interval, Pudner demonstrated his unrivalled shot-stopping ability once again, this time producing stunning acrobatics to tip a dipping half-volley from Ripley narrowly over his crossbar.

However, with a revitalized Hurricanes outfit beginning to turn the screw and seemingly on the verge on hauling themselves back into the contest, five minutes into the second half they were dealt a crushing blow. Yet again, it was a sumptuous Gary McAllister-esque floated corner from Sweet that was the source of the danger. Yet again, Taylor timed his run perfectly, ghosting in at the back stick to head the ball past the motionless Skinner in the Hurricanes goal.

Whilst one might have expected Hurricanes heads to drop following the doubling of the deficit, their response was in fact mightily impressive. The Division Two side continued to play some neat stuff, moving the ball around nicely on the slick 3G surface. However, they were largely restricted to long-range efforts, as Hendo’s defensive organisation was more than a match for the Blue’s attacking capabilities.

That’s not say they didn’t fashion chances. Pudner once again had to be on his toes to remarkably deny both Ripley and Duckworth in quick succession to protect the two-goal margin.

With the game becoming increasingly stretched, Hendo had some chances of their own to end the game as a contest, with Skinner doing well to stop a drilled close-range effort from Sweet to keep his side in with a shout.

There was yet more drama to come however, as Hendo received a significant let-off midway through the second period. Following a neat bit of interplay down Hurricanes’ left-hand side, a hopeful cross from James Butler somehow looped over Pudner to drop straight in at the back stick. The Hurricanes’ players’ joy was short-lived though, following assistant referee Steve Catchpole’s decision to disallow the goal for an offside in the build-up, much to the dismay of the Blue supporters.

With the game entering its latter stages, the match officials found themselves at the centre of another controversial incident; Hendo ‘keeper Pudner was arguably lucky to stay on the pitch having brought down Hurricanes Simon Wood after the right-winger had been played through on goal. Despite chants of “OFF!” coming from the sideline, referee Freeland kept his card of the darker variety in his pocket on this occasion, opting to only book Pudner for his troubles.

Minutes later Freeland called a halt on proceedings, sparking scenes of sheer jubilation and unbridled joy amongst players, coaches and fans of Henderson Hall FC Speaking after the game, Hendo skipper Adam Kaznowski was predictably ecstatic. “The whole team was fantastic today, defensively, we were rock solid.”

He went on to add: “Our midfield and attacking play reflected the way in which we’ve played through the season, which was great as sometimes cup finals can be a bit low on technical quality.”

He continued: “It’s great that we’ve ended our long-wait for a trophy. Finally, the Henderson Hall ‘perennial under achievers’ tag can be dropped!”

Man of the Match: Chris Pudner

Pudner

Pearson

Taylor

Kaznowski

Zafar Welch

Riddell

Carr McAllister

Sweet Mellor

Duckworth McCrory

Ripley Mann

Rout

Laurence

Butler

Holroyde

Skinner

Wood

Tyler

Clockwise from the left: Tom Holroyde and Armani challenge for an aerial ball; Hendo’s Zafar and Adam Kaznowski lift the trophy; Hendo pose for a team picture.

Photography: Nick Gabriel

46.sportbucs

Monday 29 April 2013

The Courier

Toon blow hot and cold

The sailing crews in action Photography: Tony Mapplebeck

Sailing

Every Easter sees arguably the highlight of British universities sailing calendar with 26 teams from 17 universities battling it out in a fleet of identical 41ft yachts.

Unlike many sports, teams are mixed with a minimum two of the eight crew having to be female. Competition is high, with a veritable who’s-who sailing taking to the water in Portsmouth two weeks ago.

At first they couldn’t get it up, then it

race of the day.

The crew managed to adapt quickly to their new roles after a last-minute team change (apparently an international rugby career is more important than sailing, we’re not so sure).

Back ashore a lengthy debrief was followed by a strictly medicinal trip to TigerTiger, which was conveniently the closest thing to the pontoon.

Day 2 saw the wind build to 20mph at times and an enforced sail plan meant that the problematic spinnaker was banned for the first two races.

Without this to worry about the team sailed well both tactically and physically to earn a 9th and a 12th place finish.

The day was rounded off by an extended coastal race set over the eastern

wouldn’t go back down. No matter how hard they tugged it just wouldn’t come.

The eight-strong contingent of Team Newcastle had a disastrous start to the four day event, when the rigging for their spinnaker (the big floaty sail which is hoisted at the front for extra speed downwind) became tangled.

Add into the mix a rapidly approaching submarine barrier and you can imagine the tension and choice vocabulary on board. Race 1: Retired.

This aside, the team were able to keep their cool and bounce back with a stronger finish in the second and final

solent (the wet bit between the Isle of Wight and the mainland).

This saw an improvement in Newcastle’s downwind sailing and with the breeze dying the Toon were able to hit back from a poor start to claw back places and finish 14th.

With the races now totaling five sailed, Newcastle were able to discard the score from the first place which saw them climb higher still.

The third day of the event is devoted to a long inshore race which is not only grueling in that it lasts over five hours, but is non-discardable, which means

By Daniel Gaines-Burrill in Portsmouth

“Despite the hangovers Newcastle got an excellent start which meant that they could sail high of the fleet and punch right into an area of less tide”

that if anything were to go wrong, it could effectively end any team’s chances.

This was closely sailed, and even after two hours of tense sailing the pack was so tight that the boats in first and last were still within spitting distance.

Team Newcastle led a pack of eight boats into a mark but the action of the wind and tide enabled the others to cover their sails which was a severe blow as all were able to sneak past.

Newcastle were persistent, gaining two places back on the next leg and a further four on the beat back upwind towards Portsmouth.

However it was not meant to be and despite best efforts they had their worst finish of the week at 15th.

This was the last night aboard the boats and given the old adage ‘if you can’t win on the water, you can always win in the bar’ Newcastle stocked up on a chinese buffet and joined forces with Team Oxford to hit the town.

The Newcastle crew battling the wind Photography: Daniel Gaines-Burrill

The less said about this night the better.

Naturally the team woke bright and early, with sea breeze in their lungs and the call of gulls in their ears.

Despite the hangovers Newcastle got an excellent start which meant that they could sail high of the fleet and punch right into an area of less tide.

Sitting second, the wind filled in from the left and they rounded the top mark in third.

Having already sailed for 30 minutes the race committee signaled a shortened course meaning that they only had to hold off for one leg to claim their best finish.

This Newcastle did with admirable style, unbecoming of their alcohol intake, and with near-perfect spinnaker handling the Toon almost clinched second, but had to settle.

At this point the wind completely evaporated and after an hour of antics

over the VHF radio, the final race was abandoned and the series brought to a close.

Overall Newcastle finished 14th, which was credible given their shaky start.

Southampton Red ended up beating Cambridge Blue to first place with 25 points.

Captain Bleddyn Mod said the team “came with high expectations.

As individuals we have a lot of experience in both keelboat and dinghy racing, though maybe lacking in time on the water together. Luckily we had Pat Jolly, who has a lot of experience in these boats, coaching us on the first two days.”

All in the Newcastle camp had a fantastic time and learnt a great deal and the team would like to take this opportunity to thank all those who helped and supported the team this year, especially our sponsors.

The Courier

bucssport.47

Monday 29 April 2013

Downhillers on the up Downhill Mountain Biking

By Tristan Tinn in Somerset For the majority of people cycling as a sport conures up thoughts of spandex outfits, lean men sporting sideburns, blood doping scandals and more than likely British Olympic victory.

However cycling is a very broad title which covers many sub divisions such as road racing, track cycling, BMX, cross country and downhill.

Most people assume that Downhill Mountain Biking is simply riding down a hill on your bike, a race that doesn’t necessitate a great deal of fitness.

However, the sport is so much more than this; essentially a sprint race along a marked track down a hillside with obstacles like jumps, drops, rocks, slippery chutes and many corners to slow you down or throw you off your bike.

This weekend, the BUCS university championships was held in Combe Sydenham in Somerset, hailing over 300 of the UK’s riders (guys and girls) to pitch tent and tackle the track.

The event took place over two days, with the first being an opportunity to walk the track, ‘pick your lines’ and put in a few practice runs.

Day 2 was ‘race day’ in the afternoon after a morning of practice.

Ten tractors towing trailers carried both bike and rider to the top, and each rider was timed on their descent as a ‘seeding run’.

The top 100 riders then qualified for a second ‘championship run’.

This particular course was flat out, a rooty top section with tight trees, giving way to large straights that favoured the

fitter rider.

The track then dropped away through the woods down into a field to a fast section packed with huge jumps, the largest boasting a ‘gap’ of 30ft.

The bottom section of the course forced fatigued riders to choose between a number of intricate lines over a steep rock section, before a final sprint to the finish line.

Downhill is very unpredictable; a lot of variables dictate how well a rider will place.

For instance a rider might crash, the bike may suffer a mechanical problem, such as a flat tyre or snapped chain, or it might rain transforming the track into a muddy slip and slide.

Not to mention the hundreds of rowdy

qualifying with 3:02.844.

He went on to smash a second run of 2.58.126 shaving a good 4 seconds off his qualifying time to finish in 79th place, 32.643 seconds behind the winning run time by Emyr Davies a sponsored national rider from Cardiff Met. Second fastest from Newcastle was James Howlett with 106th place just outside the championship cut off with a great time despite chickening out of some of the large jumps on course.

James was closely followed by club president Tristan Tinn with a 3.08.164.

Also representing Newcastle was club secretary Krzysztof Dabrowski, Owen James and Matthew Coates coming in with 172nd, 212th and 220th respectively. It was not only males com-

(potentially drunk) student spectators ‘heckling’ the riders as they zip past with cowbells and large cardboard signs sporting slogans such as ‘pedal to podium’ and ‘whip it’.

Luckily the weather held off for the race leaving a very fast running dusty track.

Only our downhill secretary Gaz Hughes was fast enough to snatch a championship run coming in 95th in

peting in the sport with the quickest woman Emma Atkinson from University of Dundee putting in a respectable 3.16.813.

All in all this was a good weekend for Newcastle University Cycling Club and well worth the 800 mile round trip. It was a success in its self leaving the event without any hospital trips, a common accompaniment to the sport.

“It was a success in its self leaving the event without any hospital trips, a common accompaniment to the sport”

BUCS Downhill Championships All photography: Tristan Tinn

Sport

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 29 April 2013 Issue 1270 Free

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Sports Editors: Ralph Blackburn, Nick Gabriel and Lucy Williams Online Sports Editors: Freddie Caldwell and Jack Gelsthorpe courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Sport

PAUL COLLINGWOOD

INTERVIEW P42-3

BUCS Mountain Biking Downhill report p47

Photography: Tristan Tinn

Hendo win Wednesday Cup Wednesday Cup Final The Hurricanes

1

Duckworth 2

Henderson Hall

3

Welch 1, Taylor 18 54

By Nick Gabriel at Longbenton A record attendance at the Longbenton 3G was present to witness Henderson Hall FC rid themselves of the muchmaligned label of being Intra Mural’s ‘nearly-men’, as they secured the Intra Mural Wednesday Cup with a 3-1 win against Division Two outfit The Hurricanes.

The result brings an end to a recent run of disappointing Wednesday Cup Final defeats for the Hall, who have finished as competition runners-up in three of the past four seasons.

Ultimately, it was a surprise headed

brace from centre-half Jimmy Taylor either side of half-time that proved decisive. Earlier, Steve Welch had given Hendo the lead in the game’s opening minute, prior to Hurricanes centre-forward Adam Duckworth levelling proceedings just 30 seconds later.

Despite the unprecedented amount of media hype surrounding this eagerly anticipated clash, no one could have predicted such a frenzied start to the game. Big-match nerves seemingly got the better of both side’s defensives, leading to lapses in concentration that were clinically pounced on.

Hendo appeared to have got of to an absolute flyer when, straight from the kick-off, they earned themselves a freekick just inside the Hurricanes half. A lofted ball into the penalty area landed at the feet of targetman Jack ‘Crouchy’ Mellor. His relatively tame effort on goal was then somehow spilled by Hurricanes goalkeeper Ben Skinner, enabling the alert Hendo winger Steve Welch to stab home the rebound and give his side the lead after just 49 seconds.

Hendo’s joy was short-lived however, as a spirited Hurricanes outfit drew themselves level less than a minute later.

taking the time to make the lengthy 3-mile journey east from West Jesmond.

Despite such a hectic start, the pace

“The result brings an end to a recent run of disappointing Wednesday Cup final defeats for the Hall, who have finished as competition runners-up in three of the past four seasons” This time, a cross in from the righthand side found its way to Duckworth just outside the 6-yard area. Predictably, the experienced talisman, who missed last week’s semi-final win through work commitments, made no mistake hammering the ball home with his left-foot.

The leveller sent Hurricanes’ extensive travelling support into raptures, instantly rewarding the Blue faithful for

of the game did eventually slow as both teams began to settle into a tentative rhythm of ‘feeling each other out’.

With both managers opting for similar formations employing a compact three across the middle, the pitch’s central zone was markedly congested at times, as both teams appeared eager to stifle the supply to their opponent’s respective frontlines.

Hendo however continued to look threatening from deadball situations.

Hurricanes were offered constant reminders of the setpiece prowess of their opponents, as twice in quick succession Kaznowski and then Carr lost their markers from similarly placed freekicks, only to both glance their efforts wide of the far post.

However, with 18 minutes gone, Hurricanes were at last made to pay for their slack marking. On this occasion, another wonderfully drifted ball in from Robbie Sweet was met by the head of Taylor, who proceeded to nod his effort home from all of 5 yards.

Hendo’s regaining of the lead appeared to reignite the Hurricanes as, just like earlier in the match, they came close to offering an instant response. On this occasion, the outstanding Chris Pudner had to be alert to smother the ball at the feet of Hurricanes’ Chris McCrory, after the left-winger had been slipped through on goal.

Continued on page 45