www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 9 March 2015 Issue 1308 Free
PLAY TIME All the games you should be procrastinating with this Easter p. 40
The Independent Voice of Newcastle Students
ELECTIONS RESULTS The full run-down of the winners fromlast week’s campaigning p. 3
New Union officer team crowned after biggest ever election race By Tom Nicholson Editor The officer teams for 2015/16 were announced on a night of high drama in NUSU’s Venue last Friday. The sabbatical officer team, who will take over from this year’s crop of elected Union officials in July, will comprise of: Dom Fearon, President of the Union; Matt Price, Education Officer; Luke
Allison, Welfare and Equality Officer; Hannah Goring, Activities Officer; Victoria Armstrong, Editor of the Courier; and Angus Taylor, Athletics Union Officer. The Presidential ballot was the most open race in recent Union elections history, with a previously unheard-of nine candidates standing for the post. Fearon led from the first round of voting, with a commanding 264-vote
lead over his nearest rival Will Herbert. As the rounds progressed Fearon’s lead held steady, and by the final round of vote redistribution under the alternative vote system Fearon had won by 229 votes over Charlotte Gower in second place, whose 760 votes out of 3232 cast couldn’t match Fearon’s 989. Speaking after the announcement, Fearon said: “Words can’t describe how I feel at the moment. I was basically
Est 1948
DISSO BREAK-UP The seven stages of grief after hand-in p. 15
47 candidates fight for power over course of 14 ballots Turnout up by just 4 voters on last year to 4310 despite massive promotional push Proportion of voters who are international students leaps to 21% trying not to have a heart attack for the last hour [before the announcement]. I had my dissertation in for Wednesday, so [it’s been] by far the most stressful period of my life. Luckily it was all worth it. I think I’m going to get badly peer-reviewed. I think the AU backing helped. I just really wanted it, so I tried my best and smashed it as early as possible.” The ballot for Education Officer
followed a similar pattern, with the eventual winner, Matt Price, establishing an early lead which he maintained throughout the five rounds of voting to finish with a 141-vote lead over Nicholl Lynch in second place. Third-placed Tom Gordon, previously an unsuccessful candidate at last year’s officer elections, promptly resigned from all of Continues page 2
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News
Monday 9 March 2015
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thecourieronline.co.uk/news
NEWS
4 7
Chance  to  name  new  library  building Election  winner  wrecks  Union  property
COMMENT
11
Are  the  elections  just  a  popularity  contest?
CULTURE
12 13 14 24 29 41
Dodging  the  charity  muggers Blind  Date:  Amy  meets  Josh Banging  on  about  drugs  is  boring Inside  the  Mining  Institute
Razzies  preview
Whale  of  the  week
The Courier
         News  Editors:  Antonia  Velikova  and  Kate  Dewey  Online  News  Editor:  Mark  Sleightholm courier.news@ncl.ac.uk  |  @TheCourier_News Â
‘I’ve got a lot of emotions and I don’t know how to process them. I can’t really do words right now’ the NUSU committees he had been involved in this year. Matt Price said: “I literally can’t put it into words. I feel a mixture of just complete and utter relief, complete euphoria, a bit of grief for my friends because there were so many running [who didn’t win] and I feel completely gutted for them as they’re such good mates. Then there’s the reality of my dissertation being in next week, and the imagination of being able to put the heating on next year. Just absolute gratification for my entire team. I know that sounds so artificial but it’s so true. It’s them that won it, not me. That’s the truth of it. “The last week’s been the single most stressful, cognitive meltdown-inducing strain of my entire life. I’ve never known anything like it. Stress beyond all hell. You’re always so aware of what other teams are doing, but you’ve got to have faith. You wake up stressed, you go to bed stressed. “I‘m very daunted, having attended the [Students’ Union] Council meetings and seeing the things that David [Morris, current Education Officer] is up against. You see the cool, sparkly parts of the job that you really want and you don’t see the machinery of it. That’s the bit that I’ve just seen, and realised how much there is on your plate all the time. Aside from that I’m just excited, beyond all else.â€? Victoria Armstrong, currently the Courier’s comment editor, landed the top job of Editor of the Courier, ending the final round of voting with 840 of the 2061 votes cast and a 210-vote lead on film editor Rosie Bellini in second place. Armstrong said she was in a state of “complete disbelief and excitementâ€? about the win, and that she hopes to bring home the Guardian Student Media Award for Best Publication during her year, an award which the Courier won in both 2012 and 2013 before losing its crown to York Vision in 2014. Armstrong continued: “I’m very much looking forward to it; I’ve loved being a sub-editor for the last two years and can’t wait to take the step up to head editor. “It sounds clichĂŠd but I’d put the win down to perseverance - we carried on going round halls despite being egged and water cannoned at Richardson Road and scared for our lives at the ghost town that is Henderson Hall. We were getting people to vote right up
NUSU,  King’s  Walk,  Newcastle  upon  Tyne,  NE1  8QB.  Tel:  0191  239  3940
The Courier is a weekly newspaper produced by students, for students. It’s never too late to get involved in the paper, whether you’re a writer, illustrator or photographer. Email editor. union@ncl.ac.uk for more information.
7+( 372 %$//27 :,11(56 / 5 6DĂ€ \D 5RELQVRQ /XF\ 0RUJDQ 5RKDQ .RQ %OHVVLQJ &KULVWLDQ %HWKDQ\ &UHQRO )RSH 2ODOH\H -LQJ[XDQ *XR Images: Katie Dyer/Amy Tideswell until the minute the polls closed.â€? One of the most uncertain ballots was that for Welfare and Equality Officer, featuring as it did representatives of three large, politically active groups: Luke Allison of the LGBT* Society; Jess Bayley, one half of the RAG Offiver team this year; and Becky Churchill, former President of the Feminist Society. On top of that, Danielle Barker and Cat Waktare’s application on the campaign trail made predicting the winner yet more difficult. In the end, Allison triumphed with Churchill in second and Bayley in third, Allison taking 968 votes to Churchill’s 737 in the final round of voting transfers. Asked to describe how he was feeling, Allison said: “I don’t know, I don’t know. There’s a lot of emotions and I don’t know how to process them. I’m in a state of disbelief, I think. I can’t really [do] words right now. The last week’s been very, very stressful. I had moments where I felt I just wasn’t able to campaign, it was getting so mad. We had the best category, everyone on welfare was amazing, everyone was supporting each other. When I was anxious and in a bad way, they were the ones who were there supporting me and
saying, ‘It’s okay, we’re in the same boat’.� In the Activities Officer category, Hannah Goring came out on top with a lead of 175 votes over second placed Cat Schroeter. Goring said: “I was just in complete shock - to be honest I still can’t believe it now - I had to watch the coverage back to actually find out what happened. I just wanted to hug [Activities Officer Amy] Macauley all the time. “Next year I really want to concentrate on expanding awareness and society involvement, to make societies an integral part of everyone’s uni experience.� The Athletics Union post was taken by Angus Taylor, who defeated Charlotte Warren, the only other candidate for the ballot, in a head-to-head contest by 1202 votes to 1102. Taylor later said that he was “incredibly relieved�, and that the moment of triumph gave him “a massive adrenaline rush�. “I’m buzzing to be in Newcastle for another year, doing a job all to do with sport - not a lot wrong with that! I really want to increase participation across all sports at Newcastle as I can’t underestimate how important playing sport here for 3 years has been.�
Editor Tom Nicholson News Editors Antonia Velikova, Kate Dewey, Mark Sleightholm and Ashley Williams Comment Editors Victoria Armstrong, Matt Corden and Ruth Davis Culture Editor Kate Bennett Lifestyle Editors Tom Tibble, Annie Lord, Jack Dempsey and Holly Suttle Fashion Editors Amy O’Rourke, Hannah Fitton and Hannah Goldstein Beauty Editors Charlotte Davies, Charlotte Maxwell and Kathy Davidson Arts Editors Becka Crawshaw, Lucy Chenery and Jess Harman Film Editors David Leighton, Rosie Bellini and George Smith Music Editors Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly and Chris Addison TV Editor Helen Daly, Ellie Mclaren and Rebecca Dooley Gaming Editors Sophie Baines and Ben Tyrer Science Editors Penny Polson, Laura Staniforth and Jack Marley Sports Editors Jonty Mawer, Peter Georgiev, Huezin Lim and Josh Nicholson Copy Editors Megan Ayres and Emma Broadhouse
FemSoc representatives Lucy Morgan and Rohan Kon won the ballots of Gender Equality Officer and Chair of Student Council respectively. Morgan reflected on an “amazing� week, and attributed her win to her acknowledgement that gender is a spectrum rather than a set of binary opposites. Kon remarked that despite “hating� the Candidate Question Time segment of the week, it had overall been a “fun� and “a great experience�. The uncontested posts of Racial Equality Officer, LGBT* Officer, Scrutiny Officer, Students with Disabilities officers and Students with Caring Responsibilities Officer were claimed by Safiya Robinson, Fope Olaleye and David Ou, Bethany Crenol, Rosie Foster and Olivia Bucknall, and Blessing Christian respectively. While the passion and dedication shown by the candidates cannot be doubted, the same cannot be said of the electorate: the percentage of students who actually voted dropped to 17.5% from 20% last year. This was despite the Union’s concerted efforts to publicise both the elections and the importance of the roles on offer to the running of the Union.
The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge. The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s comment pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.
The Courier
news.3
Monday 9 March 2015
Election results: the full breakdown Welfare Officer
President of the Union
1000
1000
Luke Allison
1000
Re-open nominations 800 Sophie Barclay 800
Maria Case
600 Cat Waktare
Kate Dewey
200
d6 un Ro
d5 un Ro
Dom Fearon 400
200
d4 un Ro
Max Thienel
d3 un Ro
d2 un Ro
d1 un Ro
0
400
Danielle Barker
Will Herbert Charlotte Gower
800
Jess Bayley
400
Matt Brown 600
Becky Churchill
600
Adam Latchford
Athletics Union Officer
1200
0
Re-open nominations
Education Officer 1200 Matt Price
1000 200
Nicholl Lynch
800
Tom Gordon
600 400 d9 un Ro d8 un Ro d7 un Ro d6 un Ro d5 un Ro d4 un Ro d3 un Ro d2 un Ro
d1 un Ro
0
Elie Howes Mariia Skichko
200
Thejus Badrinath
0
0
Rou
nd 1
Rou
nd 2
Rou
nd 3
Activities Officer
800 600 400
Clare Fearon Molly Bushell
Rou
200 nd 4
Rou
nd 5
0
d7 un Ro
200
1000
d6 un Ro
Helen Daly Sophie Baines
Charlotte Maxwell
d5 un Ro
400
d4 un Ro
600
Rosie Bellini
d3 un Ro
Vic Armstrong
d2 un Ro
800
d1 un Ro
Editor of the Courier
Hannah Goring Cat Schroeter Julia Glen
Round 1 Round 2 Round 3 Round 4
Charlotte Warren
Angus Taylor
How the voting system works
Under the single transferable vote system, the candidates are ranked in order of preference; for example, a voter’s most favoured candidate would have a number one next to their name, their second most favoured a number two and so on. The candidate with the fewest votes after the first round of voting is knocked out, and their votes are redistributed. That is, if they are chosen as a voter’s first choice but are knocked out, the vote is then transferred to the voter’s second preference. The whole point of this is to try to build a consensus view of which candidate has the broadest base of support from the electorate.
Round 5
Cheaper menstrual care in Union a reality after ‘Free Periods’ motion passes at SU Council By Sophie Baines The last student council before Easter was held last Thursday. It covered a range of motions, including one on improving student attendance monitoring and a number of others related to the medical and business schools. The latter were all passed with relative ease. One of the biggest motions to go through student council was ‘Free Period’, the culmination of a six-month long campaign for free menstrual care at the Students’ Union. FemSoc President Lucy Morgan spoke, advocating the passing of this motion by expressing her displeasure with the equality issues around women having to buy menstruation care at a luxury rate. One respondent of the FemSoc petition noted that the need for menstruation pads and tampons is “not a luxury”.
The motion passed with 100% in agreement, giving the Students’ Union the freedom to now work for cheaper menstrual products, with the aim of it one day being free. Another motion to pass with 100% was a motion requesting more spaces for society meetings. Solveig Hoppe presented the motion, explaining that while currently the Barbara Strange Teaching Centre was open for society bookings, it was not nearly enough space for the 150 societies we have at the Union. She pointed out that there are buildings across university that could be used for society meetings, and currently the only reason they are not is due to the University blocking this. SU President Claire Boothman argued for the motion, adding that it is something she intends to take to the University. She commented that having the backing of student council would en-
able her to provide something useful for students, without having to spend any more money than necessary. Another popular motion was for a Charter For Action Against Homophobia and Transphobia in Sport. This was
“Protesting against the ridiculous luxury tax on menstrual care” proposed by Rebecca Bates. She said that despite there already being a zero tolerance policy against homophobia and transphobia in sport, the current policy is not preventative, it is only reactive. For example, the policy will not come into action until there has been an instance of prejudice or homophobia that has been reported. Bates’s motion
intends to ensure a positive welcoming for LGBT+ members into Newcastle Sports. Athletic Union Officer Caleb Jones spoke for the Charter, citing the rainbow laces worn during Stan Calvert and a general attempt to improve the visibility and acceptance of LGBT+ members in sport. The motion passed with 95%. Despite the success during student council, there were a number of motions that were stopped in their tracks. For example, a motion for Part Time Officer incentives was rejected after the point was made that society presidents do a similar amount of work but do not get paid. Another motion that was not passed was revising re-sit caps. However, the presenter was encouraged to return it to student council after further research and revision. The NUS conference was also men-
tioned through the petition by Rebecca Bates to have the NUS delegates support and advocate for further student loans to be available. This passed with 77%. Most motions were passed at Thursday’s student council. The passing of the Free Periods motion aligns Newcastle with other universities such as the UEA and their petitions for women’s rights. Morgan told The Courier: “We are beyond thrilled to have passed the Free Periods motion… Rohan Kon and I have put an enormous amount of work into the campaign. “We’d like to thank all the students who helped us during the campaign and to everyone nationwide who signed the Free Periods @ NUSU petition. Newcastle University can now join the growing list of Universities protesting against the ridiculous luxury tax on menstrual care and fully support its students who have periods.”
4.news
Monday 9 March 2015
The Courier
New accommodation shortlisted for award
A Newcastle University spokesman said of their design: “By retaining the best features of the mid Victorian Two new University accommodation Kensington Terrace internally and sites have been shortlisted for a externally as well as ensuring that Renaissance Award by the Royal the new buildings were in keeping Institution of Chartered Surveyors by carefully using specially chosen (RICS). materials for example bricks, windows Kensington Terrace, for postgraduate and so on we have managed to respect students, and Park Terrace, for and reflect the architecture and undergraduates, opened in September character of the original terrace across 2014. the whole scheme.” On 24 April the Civic Centre will The flats all offer en suite bathrooms, play host to this year’s RICS North East large four foot beds, a fully equipped Renaissance Awards ceremony. The contemporary communal kitchen and event will take place between 7pm and comfortable common area with flat11:30pm, in which TV presenter and screen TV. property expert Phil Spencer will be the The spokesman added: “When host. developing the The RICS Award brief for student “The RICS Award is given to the accommodation at is given to the most inspirational Kensington & Park and innovative most inspirational Terrace, the Design developments. The Team wanted to and innovative awards are spread achieve something that across eight categories developments” gave a ‘wow’ factor in and bring together addition to providing the premier regional projects in the high quality and value for money celebration. Kensington Terrace and accommodation close to campus.” He Park Terrace are shortlisted for the continued: “We think we’ve created a Residential category, but in other real sense of identity and community categories Intu Eldon Square, Newcastle for our students by providing spacious Central Station, Exhibition Park and the living accommodation with excellent Tyneside Cinema are also shortlisted amenity spaces and facilities.” projects. By this principle, Kensington Terrace Kensington Terrace and Park Terrace has provided students with nine kept the Georgian facade of the existing ‘superior’ rooms, 44 larger rooms, buildings but the University built a and the addition of 15 self-contained new accommodation building behind studios. them. Both are newly converted and The spokesman concluded: “It is refurbished to a high standard and are extremely rewarding that all of the hard situated in a prime location on campus, work has been recognised through this close to the city centre and overlooking shortlisting”. Newcastle’s Exhibition Park.
By Sally Mu
Park Terrace has been shortlisted for an award celebrating ‘innovative developments’. Image: Mark Sleightholm
Name needed for new library building By Mark Sleightholm News Editor The University Library staff are appealing to the creative side of Newcastle students to name the newest addition to the library family. The University bought 89 Sandyford Road last year to allow for an expansion of library facilities. When the renovations are completed and the new library building opens in September 2015 it will house over 500 new study spaces and several research archives. Work to convert the building to its new use is already underway, although is not expected to be completely finished until 2017. The first part of the building will open its doors in just six months’ time, and so staff are searching for a name. To involve students in this process staff have set up a suggestions wall on Facebook where anybody can enter their ideas. Only one name per person is allowed, but students can also vote on the suggestions made by other people. “Bryan Ferry’s Knowledge Emporium” has become an early hit, although the wall is still in its early days. Another suggestion, “The Martin Luther King Library” refers to the honorary degree given to the campaigner for racial justice in 1967. “Wayne (Connolly)’s World (of Books)”, a name proposed by members of the editorial team of The Courier, honours somebody a bit closer to home. Wayne Connolly is the Director of Academic Services and University Librarian, and is responsible for the
expansion into 89 Sandyford Road. Students suggesting names are entered into a prize draw to win £50 in Amazon vouchers. The suggestion wall follows a similar scheme last year that encouraged students to make anonymous suggestions via Facebook of ways to improve the library. While the more unusual suggestions might be the most popular so far on the Facebook group, there are also more conventional names such as “NU Library” - a play on the University’s initials and the “new” status of the building – and the alliterative “Library Learning Lounge”. The purpose of the suggestion wall is to gather ideas and to get students involved in the naming process of a building that is ultimately for their benefit. This does not mean, however, that the results of the wall are binding, and the University Library staff emphasise that the suggestions are merely to “help” them choose the new name. The University has also now bought the neighbouring property, Black Horse House, a smaller building built in the same style as 89 Sandyford Road. This building is likely to be used for administrative purposes, but marks further University expansion to the east. The recent debate over the possible renaming of MensBar has failed to produce any particularly popular alternatives. Naming a new building should prove less controversial, although there is only six months until the new building opens to students.
“Students can vote on the suggestions”
The Courier
Monday 9 March 2015
news.5
Submarine team seeking success By Maria-Magdalena Manolova Newcastle University Submarine Team will participate in the 12th International Submarine Race held in America with the human-powered submarine called “Under Achiever” they have built. The engineering competition aimed at universities, schools, individuals and research labs will take place between 22 and 26 June 2015. Teams from the UK, Oman, Venezuela, Germany, Mexico, the Netherlands and the USA have to construct a unique one or two-person “wet” submarine. Max Davidson, the captain of Newcastle’s team, explains that they have pretty high hopes for “Under Achiever” as its build quality is “excellent”. To put it simply, he says that it’s a block of foam in the shape of the submarine which they build around. The research for his dissertation on submarines made him find out about the competition. Seeing his mould of a submarine come alive from a computer is one of the best things about the project for him. A graduate, Peter Hobson from Hobson Design, helped them by providing a space to build their submarine and building along with them. “We make sure that we’ve seen and taken part in every process, which is important to me as I’ll be taking the mould for the submarine and building my own one after graduation,” says Max. The crew members of the team are students of Marine Engineering, Naval Ar-
chitecture and Small Craft. The design process they have to run through starts with creating a hull form and it ends with testing on 13 March. “From doing this extracurricular project I’ve learnt a lot of things from building to designing and also that engineering is only half the job because trying to raise sponsorship, constantly looking at the cost sheet to see where you can save money and then also working with the other UK entrants to organize a container for us to ship together in takes up a lots of time,” points out Max, who feels that all the hard work was worth it. The International Submarine Race is held every two years in order to increase career interest in STEM (science, technology, engineering and mathematics) subjects. It has three main goals to achieve: First of all, it strives to motivate students to put their theoretical knowledge into practice by constructing a submarine from the “scratch”. It tests their teamwork and problem-solving skills. Secondly, it encourages advances in sub-sea vehicle hydrodynamic, propulsion and life support systems. Finally, it raises awareness of the difficulties that ocean explorers have to handle. “Also, none of this project would have been possible without my two housemates who are my team, our lecturers and our sponsors; BMT Defence Services, SMD, Chemet, Hobson Design and our school who gave us £6,000 which was incredibly generous,” adds Max.
“I’ve learnt a lot of things from building to designing”
MOULDING SUCCESS: “Under Achiever” under construction. Images: Peter Hobson
Lace be having you: sports teams join LGBT campaign to stamp out homophobia in the changing room By Tom Nicholson Editor
Over the course of LGBT Awareness Week and the Stan Calvert Memorial Cup weekend, the Uni’s sports teams have joined in with Stonewall’s rainbow laces campaign, which aims to challenge homophobic attitudes within sport and to create a more open, accepting and comfortable environment for LGBT+ sportspeople and supporters.
“The support shown by clubs has been incredible - I don’t think people realise how much this means to LGBT+ people in sport”
Comment
LGBT Officer Luke Allison said: “The support shown by clubs has been incredible! I don’t think people realise how much this means to LGBT+ people in sport, whether they’re out or in the closet. And it really will tackle stigma, raise awareness and make more LGBT+ people feel welcome in sport! Thank you everyone who took part!” The campaign has thus far drawn support from over 70 professional football clubs including Manchester City and Arsenal. There were over 100,000 requests for laces during the campaign’s original run in September 2014, and Stonewall say that their research shows that 30% of all adults in the UK had engaged with the campaign on some level.
6.news
Monday 9 March 2015
The Courier
Bionic hand of hope and glory developed By Jack Parker Rehabilitation researchers from Newcastle University, as well as others, have developed a bionic hand that is sensitive to touch. Researchers in Biomedical Engineering, as well as Rehabilitation medicine from Newcastle University as well as involving experts other universities – Leeds, Essex, Keele, Southampton and Imperial College London – who all came together to develop the hand. The inter-university research team was led by Dr Kianoush Nazarpour, a lecturer in Biomedical Engineering at Newcastle University, the team hope to develop a number of different technologies in order to give amputees a real sense of response and create a limb that more closely mirrors a real limb. The hand contains electrodes in the bionic limb, which wrap around the working nerve endings in the arm. This means that for the first time a bionic hand could communicate directly with the brain, sending back real-time information about external factors such temperature, pressure, as well as force. Researchers found that a ‘virtual hand’ will provide information on the sense of the hand’s position and movement, which is known as ‘proprioception’. Crucially, the bionic hand translates the signals to a form the brain understands and stimulates the nervous system, al-
lowing the user to control the hand. The team will build fingertip sensors into the prosthesis to give it a realistic sense of touch. Dr Kianoush Nazarpour, lecturer of Biomedical Engineering, in the School of Electrical and Electronic Engineering at Newcastle, said: “The UK leads the way in the design of prosthetic limbs but until now one of the limiting factors has been the technology to allow the hand to communicate with the brain. “If we can design a system that allows this... it would help people to naturally reach out and pick up a glass, for example, whilst maintaining eye contact in a conversation.” Dr Rory O’Connor, Senior Lecturer in Rehabilitation Medicine at the University of Leeds, has been one of the clinical advisors on the project, and explains why this prosthesis is different to current ones available to patients: “Current designs are like a plug and socket. The socket fits over the end of the limb and picks up signals from the muscles. The prosthesis fits onto this and by learning to flex certain muscles the patient can work the hand. “The drawback is that for many patients... the muscle ends are too damaged to be able to use the limb.” “What patients tell us is they want something that is more intuitive and more closely replicates the natural movement and feel of a real hand and that is what we hope to achieve through this project.”
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The Courier
news.7
Monday 9 March 2015
Not so smart Price: new Education Officer accidentally ruins NSR office through as much...” The studio still smells strongly of paint fumes, to which Price looked apologetLast week, the Newcastle Student Radio ic: “I sprayed it, stank up the Union and (NSR) studio acted as Matthew Price’s it was then I realised I had gone done base camp during elections week, and fucked up”. it’s bearing the scars to prove it. Price, Price told The Courier of his step by third year Psychology student and re- step reaction: “My first thought was cently elected Education Officer for ‘Fuck. Will [Lilley, NSR Station Man2015/16, made a massive faux pas when ager] is going to fly off the handle’”. creating the printHe feared that the ed publicity for his “I realised I had gone accident may be campaign. detrimental to his One of the walls done fucked up... I guess campaign: “My secin the NSR stuthought was you don’t usually see ond dio now bears the ‘Oh my god I was stupidity in its purest going to get shafted campaign slogan ‘VOTE MATT my opposition form like this. Sorry” by PRICE 4 EDUfor graffiti-ing the CATION’ in foot-high letters. The ac- walls’”. This sort of permanent publicity cidental defacing occurred when Price on University property, if done on purdecided to spray paint a bed sheet to pose, is considered a rule break during act as a banner during elections week, elections. the paint somewhat predictably going He continued: “My third thought was straight through onto the wall. ‘I’ll make out my opposition had put Price told The Courier that this school- on Matt Price’s t-shirts and were trying boy error was the result of the rush to to sabotage me’”. He laughed as he said get a banner put up in Tiger Tiger on this, commenting that his panic caused Wednesday night. him to think of a range of ridiculous soPrice narrated what happened: “I was lutions. pushed for time and I didn’t have any “My final thought was ‘How am I acspray paint so I just shot down here [to tually going to fix it?’” Price explains the Students’ Union and NSR studio]”. that he plans to repaint the wall white Price commented that the bed sheet and then get NSR members and guests was already hung up on the wall and to put a painted hand print on the wall in “prime position” from the filming of and sign it. his campaign video which was the most When asked how people reacted Price watched video of this year’s elections, said: “Will laughed a lot. Tom Nicholreceiving over 7000 YouTube views. son [Editor of The Courier] called me a He said: “In my pre-campaign frame fucking idiot. of mind, I just went for it. Not taking “I guess you don’t usually see stupidity into account had it been a higher qual- in its purest form like this… I’m sorry”. ity sheet it probably wouldn’t have gone
By Kate Dewey News Editor
PAYING THE PRICE: The NSR studio wall. Image: Tom Nicholson
Dancefest showcases Uni talent By Ruby Nguyen
Heartstart training teaches students how to react in emergencies. Image: Newcastle LINKS
Newcastle Dance Society hosted their annual DanceFest at Northern Stage last weekend, on Friday night and Saturday afternoon and evening. With over 200 dancers and more than 20 teachers, Newcastle Dance Society had been working hard on their dance numbers since the academic year started back in September. Enthusiastic dancers of all levels, from Beginner to Advanced, now had the chance to shine on stage on our very own campus. Pippa Skingsley, this year’s Show Co-ordinator told The Courier that the show was being held to: “showcase all the dancers in the society and their talents.” She continued: “it’s a great way to finish off the year and a way to show family and friends what we’ve been doing in our spare time at university“. In addition, prior to the first performance night, Pippa Skingsley also took on the challenge of walking on campus with #DanceFest written on her forehead. Not only did she seek to promote the DanceFest, but she also intended to raise money for the society’s charity Mind. Throughout the show, dance styles varied extensively. With over 50 performances, the audience experienced both a feast for the eye and were taken on an emotional roller coaster. The stage was
uniquely transformed with each choreography as the performances proved to be excellently diverse in style and presentation. The Jazz dancers opened the show, followed by a rendition of Christina Aguilera’s ‘Burlesque’. The Lyrical and Contemporary performances oversaw a shift in the tone of the performance as they staged serious and dramatic pieces of dance. In contrast, Musical Theater, which performed two different numbers, showcased upbeat numbers from ‘Hairspray’ and ‘Catch me if you can’. Fierce Jazz performances showcased great technical abilities and the diversity of the dance style. Last but not least, Street performances had the audience dancing on their feet as they popped, locked and twerked on stage. The show also featured choreographies that had been successful in this year’s dance competitions in Edinburgh and Manchester, such as Beginners Jazz and Street as well as Advanced Tap and Advanced Street. Placed Second and Third, these performances were some of the most memorable highlights of the show among other spectacular choreographies. Tickets were sold both on the Northern Stage webpage and at the Box office. The DanceFest had a great audience turnout, filling the venue during all three performances.
Monday 9 March 2015
8.nationalstudentnews
NEWSTACK University explosions Liverpool & Manchester
Job  Title:  Coffee  Shop  Assistant  Employer:  Delicious  Decadence  Limited  Closing  Date:  20/03/2015 Salary:  NMW  Basic  job  description:  Vacancy  for  a  member  of  part  time  staff  at  Delicious  Decadence.  Delicious  Decadence  is  a  small,  independent  coffee  shop  and  bakery  in  Jes- mond.  The  job  entails  serving  customers,  using  a  till  and  credit  card  machine,  making  coffee  and  other  hot  drinks,  keeping  the  shop  and  kitchen  clean  and  tidy.  Applicants  0867 EH DEOH WR ZRUN ZHHNGD\V VSHFLÂż FDOO\ 7XHVGD\ Being  available  to  work  outside  of  term  time  (as  well  as  during  term  time)  would  also  be  favourable.  Training  will  be  given. Person  Requirements:  Applicants  should  be  upbeat  and  friendly.  They  must  be  hardworking  and  reliable.  They  should  be  able  to  communicate  well  with  others,  both  in  terms  of  customers  and  other  staff  members.  We  pride  ourselves  on  our  customer  service  and  the  atmosphere  we  provide  because  we  are  a  close  team  that  enjoys  what  we  do,  possible  applicants  should  keep  this  in  mind  as  they  will  be  expected  to  able  to  get  on  with  others  and  work  well  with  them.   Location:  Jesmond  Job  Title:  Part  Time  Coach  Employer:  Little  Kickers  Closing  Date:  31/12/2015 Salary:  £7.50  per  hour Basic  job  description:  Due  to  recent  success  Little  Kickers  is  currently  recruiting  talented  part  time  assistant  coaches  to  help  meet  growing  demand.  We  are  urgently  seeking  CVs  from  students  interested  in  working  occa- VLRQDO KRXUV WR Âż W DURXQG WKHLU WLPHWDEOH 6WDUWLQJ KRXUV 2-Â3  hours  per  week  –  Various,  including  week  days  and  weekends  (potential  additional  hours  in  future,  depend- LQJ RQ SHUIRUPDQFH DQG GHPDQG ,I \RX DUH FRQÂż GHQW and  outgoing,  great  with  young  children,  100%  reliable,  punctual  and  interested  in  contributing  to  the  success  of  an  exciting  children’s  activity  business  then  we  would  love  to  hear  from  you! Person  Requirements:  'HVLUDEOH /HYHO )$ FRDFKLQJ TXDOLÂż FDWLRQ &5% '%6 VHFXULW\ FOHDUDQFH RU ZLOOLQJ WR DSSO\ )LUVW DLG FHUWLÂż FDWH 2WKHU HTXLYDOHQW FRDFKLQJ TXDOLÂż FDWLRQV ZLOO EH FRQVLGHUHG +DYH D )8// 'ULYLQJ license  and  access  to  own  transport  to  enable  success- ful  candidate  to  get  to  venue. Location:  Newcastle,  Sunderland  and  Durham. Job  Title:  Teach  First  Brand  Manager  Employer:  Teach  First  Closing  Date:  30/04/2015 Salary:  £7  per  hour  Basic  job  description:  This  is  an  opportunity  for  students  who  will  be  on  campus  for  the  2015/2016  academic  year  to  work  for  the  UK’s  largest  graduate  employer  and  gain  experience  in  marketing  promotion  DQG HYHQW PDQDJHPHQW 7KLV Ă€ H[LEOH SDUW WLPH UROH ZLOO allow  you  to  develop  new  skills  whilst  completing  your  studies.  It  will  ideally  suit  people  looking  to  apply  for  the  7HDFK )LUVW /HDGHUVKLS 'HYHORSPHQW 3URJUDPPH RU students  interested  in  developing  their  entrepreneurial  VNLOOV 5HFUXLWPHQW IRU WKLV UROH LV RQ JRLQJ SOHDVH DSSO\ as  soon  as  possible  to  avoid  disappointment. Person  Requirements:  An  understanding  and  willing- QHVV WR ZRUN ZLWKLQ WKH 7HDFK )LUVW YDOXHV UHTXLUHG Connected  within  university  through  societies,  teams,  departments,  voluntary  organisations  and  unions  (desir- DEOH 6RFLDOO\ FRQÂż GHQW DQG DEOH WR EXLOG UHODWLRQVKLSV ZLWK D YDULHW\ RI VWDNHKROGHUV UHTXLUHG 3HUPLVVLRQ WR ZRUN ZLWKLQ WKH (8 UHTXLUHG 3UHYLRXV H[SHULHQFH of  working  in  a  professional  environment  (desirable),  Experience  of  branding,  marketing,  promotions  or  event  management  (desirable). Location:  On  Campus  Job  Title:  Newcastle  Work  Experience  –  Assistant  Mechanical  Design  Engineers  Employer:  Newcastle  University  –  Design  Unit  Closing  Date:  22/03/2015 Salary:  £2400  Bursary  Basic  job  description:  Design  Unit  is  part  of  the  School  of  Mechanical  and  Systems  Engineering  with  expertise  in  design,  development  and  research  consultancy  for  0HFKDQLFDO 3RZHU 7UDQVPLVVLRQ 6\VWHPV 7KH ZRUN performed  by  Design  Unit  is  a  mixture  of  consultancy  and  research  with  the  common  theme  that  generally  all  activities  are  supported  directly  by  industry.  Design  Unit  are  looking  for  2  placements  to  support  on-Âgoing  con- sultancy  and  research  activities  which  will  give  a  broad  experience  of  working  in  a  small  yet  diverse  engineer- LQJ WHDP 3ODFHPHQWV ZLOO ZRUN DORQJVLGH 0HFKDQLFDO Engineers  supporting  existing  projects  where  design  and  stress  analysis  activity  is  required.  Person  Requirements:  The  ideal  candidate  for  this  po- sition  is  a  current  2nd  or  3rd  year  Mechanical  Engineer- ing  student.  The  candidate  should  have  an  interest  in  power  transmissions  and  have  experience  in  using  CAD  packages  (e.g.  Inventor). Location:  On  Campus  Job  Title:  Newcastle  Work  Experience  –  Mobile  App  Developers  Employer:  Newcastle  University  Closing  Date:  22/03/2015 Salary:  £2400  Bursary   Basic  job  description:  The  Institution  of  Civil  Engineers  (ICE)  is  looking  at  ways  to  promote  Engineering  as  a  profession.  They  are  interested  in  creating  a  mobile  app  that  will  encourage  children  to  learn  about  construction,  design  and  architecture  in  a  fun  way.  There  are  several  possibilities  e.g.  a  game  for  younger  children  (Who  is  the  engineer?),  an  app  promoting  engineering  and  en- gineers  to  older  children  or  some  kind  of  ICE  Minecraft  presence.
Person  Requirements:  The  candidate  must  be  able  to  operate  competently  on  the  internet,  checking  forums,  blogs,  monitoring  sites  and  keeping  on  top  of  current  news  trends  on  a  daily  basis.  Well-Âversed  in  social/ mobile  media.  The  candidate  should  be  comfortable  XWLOLVLQJ 7ZLWWHU )DFHERRN 0RELOH $SSV 6PDUWSKRQHV or  Tablet  Devices.  It  is  vital  that  all  candidates  possess  strong  writing  and  communication  skills.  Editing  skills  and  experience  will  stand  the  applicant  in  good  stead,  but  is  not  required. Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne.   Job  Title:  Newcastle  Work  Experience  –  Festival  Coordinator  Employer:  Vamos  Festival  Closing  Date:  22/03/2015 Salary:  £700  Bursary   Basic  job  description:  7KH ÂŁ9$026 )HVWLYDO ZLOO UHWXUQ for  its  10th  edition  between  the  4th  and  14th  June  2015.  &HOHEUDWLQJ 6SDQLVK DQG 3RUWXJXHVH VSHDNLQJ FXOWXUHV LW FRPELQHV FXLVLQH DUW Âż OP WKHDWUH GDQFH PXVLF literature,  sport  and  education.  Activities  will  include  0H[LFDQ ZUHVWOLQJ VWUHHW FDUQLYDOV SRS XS Âż OP DQG IRRG events  and  a  programme  of  lectures  and  debates.  The  successful  applicant  will  provide  support  to  the  festival  GLUHFWRUV 'XWLHV LQFOXGH (YHQW GHOLYHU\ VXSSRUW IRU WKH main  festival  weekends,  Additional  event  delivery  sup- port  for  the  press  launch  and  fringe  events,  Scheduling  and  onsite  management  of  the  festival  volunteer  team,  Support  in  social  media,  website  and  newsletter  schedul- ing,  Assistance  in  street  promotion  and  distribution,  Sup- port  the  co-Âdirectors,  staff  and  volunteers  as  required  and  much  more.  Person  Requirements:  Ideally  the  candidate  should  KDYH ([SHULHQFH RI DQG DQ LQWHUHVW SDVVLRQ IRU HYHQWV PDQDJHPHQW $Q LQWHUHVW LQ DQG EH SURÂż FLHQW LQ WKH XVH of  all  social  media  channels,  Understanding  of  event  documentation  (in  the  form  of  photographic  and  video  ¿ OPLQJ LQFOXGLQJ XSORDGLQJ WR DSSURSULDWH VRFLDO PHGLD channels,  An  interest  in  the  North  East  region  and  the  DUWV DQG FXOWXUDO VHFWRU $Q LQWHUHVW LQ 6SDQLVK 3RUWX guese  and  /  or  Latin  American  culture;Íž  with  an  enthusi- asm  for  new  experiences,  art  forms  and  audiences. Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne.  Â
An explosion rocked chemistry labs at the University of Liverpool last Wednesday, shattering windows and injuring one post-doctorate researcher. The building on Grove Street was cordoned off at about 9am as police, paramedics and firefighters were called to the scene. The cause of the blast has not yet been identified, according to a University of Liverpool spokeswoman, who also said that staff at the University were giving “advice and support to those affected�. The explosion came on the same day as the Pariser Building at the University of Manchester was evacuated following calls to the emergency services due to concerns that the highly explosive chemical, acetone peroxide, had crystallised. The building was closed, leading to the cancellation of a music exam, along with nearby streets and a slip road to Mancunian Way. At approximately 4.15pm, Manchester Evening News tweeted that the police disposal team had transported the chemical to a secure location in order to carry out a controlled explosion.
Free education protest Sheffield
A group of 10-15 students from a group calling itself the ‘Free University of Sheffield’ briefly occupied the constituency office of Nick Clegg, Deputy Prime Minister and leader of the Liberal Democrats, last Wednesday in order to protest for “free education�. The protest began at 11.30 as students entered the office and, according to a press statement, “transformed the space, symbolic of betrayal and the politics of the neoliberal establishment into an autonomous, collectively-run learning space�. Police arrived ten minutes later and, following the arrival of around 20 more students, had dispersed the protest by 1.30. The group returned to Sheffield Students’ Union, where a demonstration in solidarity also took place. Throughout the protest, ‘#OccupyClegg’ was reportedly trending in the Sheffield area. Mr Clegg was not present at his constituency office at the time of the protest.
Job  Title:  Newcastle  Work  Experience  –  Communica- tions  Assistant  Employer:  Nova  International  Closing  Date:  29/03/2015 Salary:  £2400  Bursary   Basic  job  description:  We  are  looking  to  recruit  a  placement  student  to  assist  our  Communications  department  during  the  summer  season.  The  successful  candidate  will  be  responsible  for  assisting  with  delivering  RXU 35 DQG &RPPXQLFDWLRQV SODQ IRU D QXPEHU RI RXU HYHQWV LQFOXGLQJ *UHDW 1RUWK 5XQ *UHDW 6ZLP 6HULHV DQG WKH *UHDW <RUNVKLUH 5XQ 0DLQ UHVSRQVLELOLWLHV LQFOXGH $VVLVWLQJ ZLWK ORZ OHYHO 35 H[HUFLVHV LQFOXGLQJ PDLO RXWV DQG Ă€ \HU GLVWULEXWLRQV UHVHDUFK IRU VWRULHV and  publications,  coverage  tracking  and  social  media  updates. Person  Requirements:  The  ideal  candidate  should  have  knowledge  of  marketing  and  a  strong  interest  in  sporting  and  events.  You  will  be  a  highly  creative  ideas  person  with  good  attention  to  detail  and  a  professional  attitude  to  work.  A  strong  team  player,  you  will  be  re- quired  to  travel  occasionally  to  locations  across  the  UK  to  assist  with  local  PR. Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne.  Â
Voting chaos at Cardiff
Job  Title:  Newcastle  Work  Experience  –  Mobile  App  Developer  Employer:  Gospelware  Closing  Date:  22/03/2015 Salary:  £2400  Bursary   Basic  job  description:  Gospelware  is  a  pioneering  and  award  winning  Mobile  specialist  studio,  We  create,  develop  and  deliver  strategy,  interaction  design  and  App  development.  Specialising  in  mobile  app  development  from  our  Newcastle  based  studio,  this  is  an  opportunity  to  work  on  client  projects  and  apps  for  our  blue  chip  cus- tomers.  The  successful  candidate  will  be  working  within  a  team  responsible  for  delivering  projects  on  a  range  RI SODWIRUPV LQFOXGLQJ L3KRQH L3DG $QGURLG KDQGVHWV and  Android  tablets  serving  a  variety  of  purposes.  As  a  member  of  our  team  this  is  your  opportunity  to  learn,  experience  and  deliver  big  ideas  to  a  small  screen. Person  Requirements:  This  is  a  fantastic  opportunity  for  someone  to  work  in  a  creative  and  rewarding  envi- ronment,  who  is  looking  to  grow  and  learn  from  our  team  and  is  open  to  developing  their  technical  understand- ing.  We  expect  you  to  have  passion  and  hunger  for  development  (with  a  keen  interest  in  mobile),  be  outgo- ing,  personable,  and  to  be  ready  to  learn  and  to  share  knowledge  and  work  well  under  pressure  within  a  fast  paced  environment,  committing  to  delivering  high  quality  work  within  agreed  timescales. Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne.  Â
Student’s life saved
Cardiff
Former students of Cardiff University were able to vote at their recent Students’ Union elections. A loophole in the election website meant that even if a graduate’s username and password had expired, they could simply request that it be reset, thus allowing them to vote. Cardiff University’s student paper, Gair Rhydd, received an anonymous tip-off on February 27 about the loophole and asked former students to attempt to cast votes. They successfully cast their votes and reported back to the paper. The Students’ Union removed nine votes cast by former students and confirmed that the loophole may have affected by-elections in October. The Union is now investigating the impact former students voting may have had on previous elections, particularly those where winners had very small majorities.
Durham
A student who fell into the River Wear on January 30th is to meet the police officers and firefighters who saved his life. The male student fell into the river at about 1.45am during a night out. Luckily, a member of the public spotted him and called the emergency services, who rescued him and took him to hospital where he was treated for hypothermia. The student is now thought to have made a full recovery. The student will meet his rescuers as part of a ‘restorative approach solution’, to: “discuss the incident and its impact on both sides�. He was also issued with a fixed penalty notice for being drunk and incapable, as well as being referred to scheme in order to learn about the detrimental effects of alcohol. The male student, who hasn’t been named, was lucky to be rescued alive as a number of Durham students have fallen into the river during nights out over the previous few years and died, either from hypothermia or drowning. Thomas Montague
The Courier
Sabbs  Revisited:
Rosie  Leatherland
As  the  Union  welcomes  Hannah  Goring  as  its  new  $FWLYLWLHV 2IÂż FHU  News  Editor  Mark  Sleightholm  catches  XS ZLWK 5RVLH /HDWKHUODQG who  held  the  post  in  2013/14 So Rosie, would you mind telling me a bit about what you’ve been up to? So I am living in London, moved here in September. I’m doing the Charityworks graduate scheme, which is a nonprofit scheme that I joined at the beginning of September. The scheme is basically a management and leadership programme in the third sector, and everyone gets placed in a charity for a year, as well as receiving training about the nonprofit world, writing assignments, and having one to one mentoring from someone in the Charityworks network. I’m working at Age UK, in the public affairs department. My job involves working with politicians to influence legislation and campaigns associated with older people. At the moment that means working on the general election campaign we launched two weeks ago and encouraging local Age UKs to run hustings events to engage with our target candidates. That sounds impressive. Does your experience as Activities Officer help with this? The skills and experience I gained as Activities Officer were without a doubt the reasons I got through the selection process for this scheme. I think mainly because I spent a year project managing a variety of things, working with a really broad range of people, working in teams of all different shapes and sizes, working at the very top of a charitable organisation, etc etc. But also just gaining confidence, learning from people around me and having a huge range of opportunities you just don’t get in other jobs straight out of Uni. I also think it made me learn fast, wanting to make an impact knowing I was only in office for a year, which has helped me hit the ground running this year. Apart from the skills and experience, what are the other things you feel you gained from the year? In terms of personal highlights... Well apart from making some of the best friends, personal highlights definitely include working on campus and being part of such an incredible, student-focused organisation. So rewarding to have enjoyed my time at Newcastle so much and be able to work on the ‘other side’, influencing how things work, putting students at the front of every conversation, because they’re the ones who really count on campus, right? I’d say so. Is there any other wisdom you’d like to pass on to next year’s Activities Officer? Knock on ALL THE DOORS, remember how valuable every experience is for future opportunities, enjoy every minute because you’ll never have a job quite like it, and whatever the occasion or event you organise, try and get free samples of the food you’ll be supplying.
The Courier
.9
Monday 9 March 2015
Comment
thecourieronline.co.uk/comment
Comment Editors: Victoria Armstrong & Matt Corden Online Comment Editor: Ruth Davis courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Comment
Reaching a Turing point Broadening the pardon given to Alan Turing to all people convicted under barbaric anti-gay laws before 1967 is the least we can do to correct this historic wrong - but it won’t stop persecution of LGBT+ people both here and abroad
“Remarkable as his achievements were, Turing is no more deserving of basic human rights than the estimated 49,000 other men who were prosecuted under the same laws”
S
Jake Harrison
imon Hughes of the Liberal Democrats and more recently the Labour leader Ed Miliband have pledged to bring in ‘Turing’s law’, a law to pardon all those convicted for being a homosexual before it was decriminalised in 1967. In case you haven’t seen The Imitation Game or have been living in a cave and don’t know who Alan Turing is, he was the mathematician responsible for breaking the Enigma code in World War II. This is estimated to have shortened the war by between two and four years, thereby saving countless lives. As if that legacy wasn’t enough, he is also widely touted as being responsible for building the first computer. Even if you don’t count the Bombe (named ‘Christopher’ in the film), a machine designed to work out the day’s Enigma settings, after the war he designed the ACE, one of the first designs for a fixed-storage computer. He then later worked on the innovative and hugely important Manchester computers. Alan Turing was prosecuted for ‘homosexual acts’ and given the choice of chemical castration or prison. After a year of hormone therapy he chose to end his own life. As a result, one of the most
brilliant minds of the modern era was lost at the age of 41. Alan Turing was pardoned in 2013 by Queen Elizabeth II; four years previously Gordon Brown had also made a public apology on behalf of the British Government for the way he had been treated. However, remarkable as they were his achievements don’t make him any more deserving of basic human rights than the estimated 49,000 other men (possibly even more) who were prosecuted under the same laws. They deserve to be pardoned too, for it to be publicly accepted that they didn’t commit a crime. Critics have claimed it’s just symbolism, even accusing Ed Miliband of cynically trying to win votes having been beaten to legalising equal marriage but since when has symbolism been instantly a bad thing? I personally don’t see anything wrong with the symbolism of a state which ruined the lives of so many people publicly accepting that it was unjustifiable and wrong to do so. Publicly stating that it was wrong to deny gay men equal rights surely will have positive implications for the modern day. I will quickly mention here that there is a clear focus on the unjust prosecution of gay men in this article; this is for no other reason than that women were never included in the legislation, so it was never actually technically illegal for two women
to be in a relationship so women were not prosecuted under anti-homosexuality laws. Not recognising either gender’s right to equal rights is and was wrong. Peter Tatchell, a man who has been campaigning for equal rights for upwards of 40 years has also been critical of Ed Miliband. He argues that an apology is better than a pardon, as a pardon is merely an act of clemency by the state whilst an apology recognises that a wrong was done. I would argue that pardoning them is recognising that they were wrongfully convicted but it’s an interesting point of view. He also makes the point that it’s not as simple as men simply being arrested for being homosexual; the ‘Sexual Offences Act’ of 1967 decriminalised ‘homosexual acts’ in private between consenting men over the age of 21, but obviously there’s still a discrepancy there between straight and same-sex couples. Not only can a straight couple consent at the age of 16, but they also wouldn’t be arrested for non-sexual activity in public, such as holding hands, where two men could have been prosecuted. Equally Alan Turing was actually prosecuted for gross indecency, rather than homosexuality, a law which remained in force until 2003. It was under this law that he was required to choose between
chemical castration and imprisonment. As a result, pardoning all men prosecuted of homosexuality, i.e. all men prosecuted before 1967 could actually let a large number of unjust prosecutions slip through the net. Perhaps therefore more needs to be done. Obviously this bill is a step in the right direction to equal rights, and I sincerely hope Ed Miliband is in a position to enact it come May. However, more can still be done to further equal rights. Plenty of countries around the world still persecute gay men and women and this should not be something the UK should stand by and let happen. The President of Uganda until recently was trying to bring in the death penalty for those convicted of homosexuality, and there are actually ten countries where it is punishable by death. Uganda eventually bowed (albeit only slightly) to international pressure and removed the application of the death penalty from the bill but you can still go to prison for 14 years there, all for committing what really isn’t a crime at all. In Yemen, Iran, Iraq, Mauritania, Somalia, Saudia Arabia, Qatar, Nigeria, Sudan and the UAE you can still be put to death for homosexuality, and the world should do all it can to ensure that these laws are challenged. That would be an even better legacy for Alan Turing.
Fair and square - but do you care? The fair trade movement is still vital, particularly in light of the continuing exploitation of cheap labour abroad
F
Scott Houghton
air trade is important. It helps ensure those that produce the goods we consume are paid a fair price for their labour, I’m sure Karl Marx would have been fascinated by it. Usually it involves goods that are exported from developing countries to already developed countries – like from, say, Ghana to the UK. It’s a hugely important movement, trying to improve working conditions for vast swathes of the world. Coincidentally, it’s also Fair Trade fortnight, a brilliant way to encourage people to buy Fair Trade; the little green, blue, and black logo can be found on products ranging from chocolate to bananas to flowers. This year it runs from 23 February to 8
March and is designed in raising awareness of Fair Trade products and the people who produce these goods. This not only helps improve agricultural workers, lifting potentially billions out of crushing poverty, but also encourages fair trade in societies which have no previous history of labour equality but are instead exploited by employers, governments, and corporations. It furthermore allows locals to invest back into their local communities in the form of building such amenities as water wells and schools. Fair Trade fortnight encourages schools and other institutions to buy fair trade, promoting it’s products and teaching children about the importance of fairness within business, particularly in regards to underdeveloped countries. This is vital for our future as a planet, teaching younger genera-
tions all their is to know about advancing peoples rights globally. It is an attempt to wash away the days of “banana republics”, countries like Honduras and Guatamela, which for decades relied on its banana crop as its sole source of employment and revenue, and which was thus exploited by corporations, such as the United Fruit Company which led a CIA-backed coup d’ètat against the Guatamelan government for taking away land in 1954. Fair Trade encourages diversity in the products that it sells as to prevent this but also safeguards communities from this kind of exploitation. It furthermore encourages development away from agriculture, such as Ghana’s hopes of becoming an industrialised nation by 2030. Fair Trade is increasingly important in the 21st century, when people in the UK today think of
business they think of The City, The Apprentice, Alan Sugar looking smug, that pristine world of steel and glass skyscrapers; the supposed height of worldly civilisation. Yet our ‘civilisation’ is built upon the backbone of billions of people – the African farmers that feed us, the Indian cotton pickers that clothe us, for example - which fair-trade strives to help, vastly underpaid and ill-treat workers are those that prop up what we call ‘civilisation’. Just as a child may learn that milk comes from a cow so should children learn where the things we take for granted come from, and who makes them. The fact that Fair Trade works so hard in providing these people with proper wages, respect, and promoting equality is a paramount in promoting equality globally, not a scramble for the top to flog a useless piece of machinery to Peter Jones off Dragon’s Den.
10.comment
SOAP BOX LEONARD NIMOY With the sad news of Leonard Nimoy’s death, there was once again the ridiculous influx of people all over the world ‘RIP’-ing on Facebook and Twitter. I’m all for paying your respects, but when it turns into a competition of who can say it quicker or more eloquently, then it becomes the opposite of showing your respect. It becomes insensitive and rude. Leonard Nimoy was one of my childhood heroes, having grown up watching Star Trek with my Mum. I was devastated by his death, but my devastation very quickly turned to anger. My news feed was filled with insensitive comments about how he was old and sick anyway, or that Star Trek was crap. But it was also littered with insincere eulogies, written purely for the entertainment and pacification of the Facebook masses. I’m still not sure which of these annoyed me the most. If you can take one of the most loved sci-fi actors of our time and make it all about you, then you are not a good person. Have some self-respect, and act like a grown up. Sophie Baines
BUS TROLLS This may not seem applicable to many of us right now, but it is something that has been haunting my thoughts of going back home for the Easter Holidays: bus trolls. No, sadly not furry green men wandering around on London buses. but idiots who don’t seem to understand the concept of ‘bus terminates here’. These morons are the bane of my existence. You’re comfortably seated on the outside seat, approaching the last stop where every person on the bus has to get off, yet this troll sitting on the window seat next to you turns to you, and says ‘Excuse me, may I get past?’ WHY? Why must they rise before the rest of us, causing us to move unnecessarily when we’re all going to get off anyway? Unless the hounds of hell are on their heels and they’re in a particular rush, next time I plan on responding ‘No. You can bloody well stay put and wait, we’re all getting off the bus at the same bloody stop buddy.’ Antonia Cundy
Monday 9 March 2015
The Courier
Say nay to George Galloway
Galloway’s presence at the anti-Pegida rally was irksome, but thankfully he was challenged
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Matt Corden
wo good things came out of the Pegida rally in Newcastle last week. First, the counter-demonstration vastly outweighed and outnumbered the original rally. Pegida found their roots in racist attitudes towards Kurdish refugees living in Germany as well as their opposition to Kurdish separatists in the Middle East. These Kurdish radicals, who are mostly Sunni Muslim by confession, are the main resistance to the expansion of ISIS in Iraq and Syria. The nationalistic, “no-to-mosques,” anti-immigrant and aggressive Christian culture vultures that carry Pediga forward are nasty. Second, the presence of George Galloway was challenged by a number of key organisers of the rally, including Gary Spedding and Lizi Gray of Northumbria University, who have found themselves amongst a vast number of people threatened with legal action by him and his cronies.
“I begin to wonder whether Galloway’s arse-licking appointments with various Middle Eastern leaders are done for free”
A Twitter account @SuedByGalloway has been set up by libel expert Mark Lewis to offer legal advice to those harassed by Galloway’s lawyers in his ongoing campaign to silence any accusation of anti-Semitism. Meanwhile, Galloway regularly praises the leader of Hezbollah, Hassan Nasrallah, whose primitive attitudes towards Jews are easily researchable. In 2009, Galloway enthusiastically handed over £25,000 to Ismail Haniya of Hamas, declaring that “this is not charity, this is politics.” His only sign of remorse throughout the whole event was the fact he couldn’t give more. Sympathising with the leaders of Hamas (who circulate the Protocols of the Elders of Zion amongst other
Jew-baiting propaganda) when he’s in Gaza City, while expressing solidarity with Fatah when he’s in Oxford verifies the slimy, two-faced nature of the guy. He has consistently expressed enthusiasm and nostalgia for the Syrian occupation of Lebanon. In the immediate aftermath of Lebanese President Rafic Hariri’s murder in 2005 (the Syrian occupiers and their proxies were almost certainly responsible for this atrocity), Galloway appeared on Syrian State television to tell Syria’s people that they’re lucky to have Assad as their President. In 2012, he was caught describing Assad’s Syria as “the last castle of Arab dignity”. He yelled “you make me sick” at an anti-Assad audience member during a Q&A on the Syrian propaganda channel Al-Mayadeen. When David Aaronovitch challenged him on these points on Question Time, Galloway refused to address them and chose instead to call him a Stalinist, a shining example of Galloway’s characteristic cheap and vulgar abuse. It was also peculiar since the same Mr Galloway once declared that the worst day of his life was when the Soviet Union collapsed, and it has been reported that he supported the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan in 1979 to prop up the Parcham Stalinists. Following that line of thought, he has since been a keen defender of Putin’s wars in Georgia and Ukraine. Yet Galloway still gets away with calling himself anti-war and anti-imperialist. His mad alliance with despotism shone most brightly in 1994, when he flew to Baghdad to look Saddam Hussein directly in the eye and commend him for his “courage, strength and indefatigability” as well as to insist that Kuwait belongs to Iraq. This is to say nothing of his meeting with his psychopathic son Uday Hussein in 1999, whom he addressed as “your excellency” before assuring him that “we’re with you until the end”. After Saddam’s overthrow, he praised the “145 military operations” which “has made the Country ungovernable” by Iraq’s elected government in 2005. These “operations” included the blowing up of UN headquarters, the destruction of innumerable places of worship in a Salafist war against Shia Muslims, the kidnap of various diplomats, the beheading of journalists, as well as the murder of Casey Sheehan. Galloway then repugnantly cozied up to his mother after praising those responsible for her son’s murder. When he went to Tehran to interview Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad, he assured him that he needed special police protection from the Iranian opposition in London because of his support for his election campaign. Perhaps unsurprisingly, not once did Mr Galloway question Iran’s human rights record. I begin to wonder whether Galloway’s arse-licking appointments with various Middle Eastern leaders are done for free.
“Galloway had effectively invited himself and was not on the list of organised speakers”
Even his campaign in the Bradford by-election was revolting. His leaflets contained appeals to the large Muslim community, stating that his teetotalism meant that “god knows who is a Muslim and who is not” in a smear against his Labour opponent, who apparently enjoys the occasional trip to the pub. Incidentally, Bradford is a city he barely bothers to represent in parliament with a shockingly low attendance record; his time spent as a megaphone for Press TV and other state media outlets appear to be more lucrative. I wish the Labour candidate Naz Shah the best of luck in the upcoming election. Having spoken to Gary Spedding – an exemplary campaigner for Palestinian and LGBT rights – he indicated to me that members of the local Synagogue were due to attend the Pegida counter-demonstration, yet were concerned for their safety because of aggressive statements made by Galloway that Bradford was an “Israel-free zone.” Oskar Avery, one of the speakers, stuck two firm fingers up to Galloway and his cult by insisting that Israelis are more than welcome in Newcastle. As it turns out, Galloway had effectively invited himself and was not on the list of organised speakers that included local MP Chi Onwurah. Gary was physically threatened by a die-hard Galloway fan when he heckled him for remarks about Julian Assange’s “bad sexual etiquette,” an incident viewable by all on his Facebook page. It’s only natural of course that a thuggish man like Galloway has such a thuggish following. No to Pegida. No to Galloway.
HAIR LOSS I used to have a very full, thick head of hair (female) but it looks like it’s almost going to be ‘bald’ now. Every day my bathroom’s drain is badly clogged up by my lost hairs, and many can be found on pillow cover, clothes as well as my room’s floor (not only me, also most my friends from back home). Since I started studying abroad in England I kept asking: “Where have my hairs gone?” Basically a Chinese slang explains this situation, its meaning is “The unique features of a local environment (refers to waters and soils) always give special characteristics to its inhabitants.” Most people who live in Britain perhaps are more or less suffering hair loss by the copper lurking in the tap water which leaves our hair dull and easily to break and fall. But more are from pipes and hot water tanks, meaning that our drinking, cooking and showering waters are all contain copper. Even more seriously, we are slowly absorbing it and residue gradually builds up inside of our bodies which can damage our health. You have to admit, this problem lies in water cannot be soon solved, are the relevant department surely not able to improve this? Can this be over? Sally Mu
KNLphotos2010 @ Flickr
The Courier
comment.11
Monday 9 March 2015
Registering our disbelief
Taking attendance in lectures and seminars is an infantilising waste of everybody’s time and patience, and utter bureaucratic madness
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egisters can cause chaos in lectures. Actual chaos. Some lecturers start it at the front and send it backwards; others start it at the back. Having the misfortune of sitting at the end of a row all too often leads to a mental debate: “should I pass it behind me or in front of me?” Finding your name on a poorly printed register is no easy task either, especially for larger modules. And students typing their notes (the tapping of laptop keys might be the sound of the future, but it’s bloody annoying) need to find or borrow a pen. All quite minor issues, I know, but put them together and you get a series of distractions that can only hinder the lecture. The whole system gets even more confusing when people come in late, or somebody passes it round the wrong way, and half the class gets missed out. Let’s face it: registers are a pain in the arse, and get in the way of effective teaching. It’s also worth considering how many trees have been sacrificed in the name of monitoring attendance. Sheet after sheet of paper wasted... just for a group of half-asleep students to scrawl their names on. Or the names of their friends – paper registers
are a flawed system. If students want to pay nine grand to not go to lectures, let them. It’s their loss. And if people don’t want to go to seminars then they probably wouldn’t make much of a contribution anyway. Personally, I would rather be in a seminar group of five people who want to speak than have another ten people sat at the back in a sulky silence. According to the University website, “research shows that students who attend classes do better in assessments.” You don’t say. Even this shocking revelation doesn’t really justify monitoring attendance, though. Taking a register does not make the lecture compulsory, and the University admits, “there is no expectation that students will attend 100% of all classes” (try telling that to your lecturers!). Instead there are guidelines about “repeated absences”, but this all seems so arbitrary that the actual statistics of how many classes a student missed probably won’t even come into it. There are many valid reasons why people might miss classes, and I’m unconvinced that lecturers really spend their spare time trawling through registers and chasing up all the missing students. Yes, the University might have a “duty of care” towards its students, but does monitoring attendance actually help with this? Maybe I’m being overly cynical,
but I would suggest not. In recent years, the University has stepped up monitoring attendance, and has even tried out systems to scan student cards on the way into lectures. While this may avoid people signing their friends in, it unfairly penalises students who forgot their student card, and could cause long queues to get in to lecture theatres. If nothing else it seems a waste of electricity. Students in 2012 were horrified at the suggestion of biometric scanning on the grounds it was an invasion of privacy. Indeed, any form of attendance monitoring does seem a bit nanny-state-ish. Actually, the recent increase in attendance monitoring has been driven by the Home Office, who want more surveillance of international students. The University feels it is better to monitor all students than single out those from abroad. This is a good point, but attendance monitoring could be a lot less disruptive if it was just done in small group teaching and kept to a bare minimum. The University’s hands aren’t as tied up as the it would like to make out. Back in 2013 a group of Geography students boycotted attendance registers, but they still exist. Maybe we need a mass, University-wide boycott? The revolution starts here.
Islamophobia on the increase
Trying to reason with aggressive right wing fanatics like Pegida will fail when the reasons for their hate run deeper than simply a lack of understanding is one of the most feared in Western culture. cent stories about teenage girls travelling to Syria Jack Dempsey ism Videos of Jihadists executing European journalists to join ISIS, as well as the revealing of Jihadi John’s
J
ust the other day, some four hundred people gathered in the city centre to protest against the ‘Islamisation of the West’, with activist group Pegida. Originally formed in Dresden, the group came to Newcastle seeking support for their anti-Islam movement. It is hardly surprising that they chose the UK for this, considering how similar far-right groups such as EDL enjoyed considerable support amongst the white British working classes. Although these groups are commonly dismissed as ignorant racists, members feel that this is only an attempt to stifle legitimate criticism of Islam’s pernicious effect across Europe. However, you only need to look at footage of their rallies on YouTube to see that alongside the atmosphere of indignation, there is a distinct lack of ‘legitimate criticism’ being put forth. Yet along with the anger, an undeniable sense of unity amongst the protestors also exists, a semblance of community so rarely seen in today’s secularised society. Islamophobia doesn’t simply exist amongst outspoken, far-right organisations. In the post-9/11 era, it could be said that the image of the Muslim extrem-
S
Cameron Charters
tudent elections descended upon Newcastle University, and it was with a due sense of trepidation that I left my homely flat in Richardson Road and advance towards my lectures. At every corner there were leaflets and pamphlets announcing the arrival of the Messiah. Well perhaps not quite the Messiah, but a ‘Welfare and Equality Officer’. Clearly the two terms, in the previously quoted title, are pressing issues in today’s society - many feel that their cause has been undermined by unhealthy prejudices on a national scale, but also during their experiences on the smaller scale of university life.
Markus Spiske @ Flickr
Mark Sleightholm
It’s no wonder we’re all so cynical when it comes to student elections when the choices are all the same
have become commonplace in the news and on the Internet. In fact, the impression we get of Islam in the mainstream media is almost wholly negative. There are even publications which intentionally play upon the image of Muslims as violent. At the
“Muslim comminutes become a visible symbol onto which anxieties can be displaced”
moment at I am writing this, a newspaper headline from the Daily Mail has just flashed up on my Facebook newsfeed reading: Girl gang who kicked woman in the head while yelling ‘kill the white slag’ freed after judge hears ‘they weren’t used to drinking because they’re Muslims’. Here we see an example of blatant hate mongering that doesn’t just seek to inspire hatred towards Muslims, but also towards the British justice system which supposedly condones their transgressions, as though the law in itself has become tainted by tolerance. Re-
real name and location of his London house, convey the idea that the ‘true violence’ of Islam is closer to home than we think. One protestor at the Pegida Newcastle march held a sign saying ‘NO MORE MOSQUES’, and leader, Matthew Pope, expressed his fear that teaching of Muslim traditions and Sharia law are overruling what he sees as true British culture. He feels that the label of ‘racism’ is bandied about in order to silence any criticism of the religion. The fear is not just centred around Muslims, but the wider British community that accommodates them. But the anger of these groups is misdirected. In an unstable economy, it is the working-class who suffer worst, with low pay jobs everywhere becoming scarce. Failing to see the lack of government investment at the root of their alienation, they fix their resentment upon the ‘other’ in whom a sense of community is still strong. Muslim communities become a visible symbol onto which they can displace their anxieties regarding their precarious position in modern Britain. Slipping through the cracks, the identity of these class groups becomes looser every day, and ultimately, it is easier to define ourselves by what we aren’t, than what we are.
“The cynics amongst us may well question whether the elections are simply a popularity contest”
It is hard to dispute the benefits of considering the various attitudes, which arise due to issues such as moral conduct, social cohesion, freedom of expression, and thought - but what we should expect of these elections is the crucial issue. In short, what will change by the next election period? The cynics amongst us may well question whether the elections are simply a popularity contest, or whether the benefits of who is elected and who is not will be felt. There are 14 positions available, all of which roughly conform to the desire for equality throughout the university. This policy, though popular, is somewhat undermined by the reality that some offices have one candidate running for election, in particular the Scrutiny Officer and LGBT Officer. The lack of candidates diminishes the feeling that the positions are held as important within the university community. The absence of this in some sectors presents voting in the elections as somewhat futile. Additionally, it allows a parallel to drawn between student elections and the forthcoming General Election, which many people suspect will produce little change for the country, due to the narrow policy margins between the three major parties. Therefore, the variety and vibrancy of ideas which is associated with university politics is endangered. Rather than university being a breeding ground for free political thought, the upcoming elections might well reveal that the student population has sunk into a murky swamp of calamitous uniformity.
“The grand scale consists of occasionally amusing references to TV programmes and some bizarre facial expressions”
The lack of variety between candidates is attributed to the numerous leaflets advertising their campaign. The grand scale consists of occasionally amusing references to television programmes and a collection of bizarre facial expressions. Yet it is only fair to be justly sympathetic to the candidates, they must appeal to the voters in a way which they feel will entice support. Therefore, the comic leaflets and offers of free sweets perhaps shed more light on the average student than on the hopeful candidate. The possibility that the elections are a popularity contest is often voiced, and with some merit. Having spoken to a number of candidates, they readily admit that the variation in policy is limited. However, they point towards increased social media participation as a clear sign that the turn out will increase from last year’s 20%. Matthew Price (next year’s Education Officer) explained that the reason for the lack of variety was due to a consensus that issues needed to be ‘remedied’, rather than fought over due to ideological differences. Though unity in the face of problems is a good thing, there should always be room for individual approaches, which may resolve the issue.
12.lifestyle
Monday 9 March 2015
The Courier
Lifestyle  Editors:  Jack  Dempsey,  Annie  Lord,  Holly  Suttle  &  Tom  Tibble
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icture this: it’s payday, you’ve got a couple of hours free and you feel like splurging in Primark (‘cause let’s face it, where else are you going to get four tops, three skirts and a fabulous pair of shoes and still have money left over to hit Throwback at the end of the week?). But before you get there, you’re mobbed by friendly faces using their X-ray vision to see straight through your debit card and by the time you make it to the entrance, you’ve donated half of your student loan out of guilt. We can’t walk down Northumberland Street for fear of being caught by the dreaded do-gooders. You know the ones. Asking how you are today and if they can just spare a few moments of your time. I’m pretty sure that if I stopped to talk to every single one of them, it would take me a good half an hour to get from one end of the street to the other - and that’s not even counting the ones that swarm around Monument.
“I’ve started planning ready-made excuses in my head�
I’m not a selfish person and I’m not ignorant. I know that bad things are happening in the world, but it’s not possible for me to help every single organisation. As a student, my time would be put to better use rather than my money. But my time is not what they want. They want me to sign up, donate, add Gift Aid. And when I tell them I already do lots of things for charity, they give me further explanations as to why I should give to THEIR charity. Since when was it okay to target people on the street and make them feel guilty for not being able to save the world? I’ve even started planning ready-made excuses in my head. Usually I’m “in a rush’’ but then there’s the ones who catch you off guard, asking for your age and blocking your path in the process. I know I look young enough to not be eligible to take part so I knock a year off. Then they ask my date of birth and I panic. I might have a youthful face but I’m definitely not gifted at lying and there I am, stood smiling and nodding whilst trying to think of an excuse to walk away without looking like a total bitch.
“Everybody does their own thing for charity� Am I wrong? Should I appreciate their efforts more? I understand that these organisations need to make themselves known to the public somehow but putting a person on the spot is not the way to do it. Everybody does their own thing for charity, whether it’s putting your loose change in the bucket by the exit or running Race For Life, c ont r i but i ons are made. We’re not an ungenerous society. Just look at things like Children in Need or Comic Relief, which make millions in one evening. The people working for these organisations need to know when to take the hint and let us keep on walking.
Universally  challenged
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messy; having to wait for one of the five washing machines your halls have provided between 300 people to be free, to actually do the washing you really don’t want to do; the struggle when everyone in your flat wants to make tea at the same time, fitting around the oven and the hob, accidents waiting to happen; when the draining boards are too full with dirty dishes waiting to be washed to actually put anything clean on them. You begin to realise how much your parents did for you at home.
ou’ve started your university course and it’s a challenge: lectures, seminars, essays, assignments, deadlines‌ need I go on? But is the course really the biggest challenge you face as you begin university life? Whatever you study, it’s a big step up from high school - being in charge of your own course, making sure you read around the subject and keeping to tight deadlines. It’s a new challenge to be faced but some would argue that it isn’t the biggest challenge in your university life.
“Ironing is not a necessity - use the tumble dryer, or hang stuff up�
“The struggle when everyone wants to make tea at the same time�
For most students leaving home is a time of many firsts, the major one being complete independent living. This can be an exciting but daunting time, even if you’re one of the select few who managed to switch on their parents’ washing machine before they left home. Looking after yourself completely, probably for the first time ever, involves mastering many new skills‌doing your own laundry, washing up (and drying), making the bed, cleaning your bathroom, cooking - and the big one, budgeting for everything you do in life, from the grocery bill to nights out. It can all just get a little bit much. In first year, general independent living tends to hit you the hardest. For instance: living with a bunch of strangers in the hope they won’t be too
A wee first year attempting to use a washing machine
There are ways to make independent living a little easier though. Online shopping is a saviour, because let’s face it, trying to carry loads of bags full of food and drink home is not the easiest task. Do a bulk order with flatmates to share the delivery cost. Ironing is not a necessity - use the tumble dryer if you have one, or hang stuff up, to get most of the creases out. It’s clean, which is what really matters. Have a cooking rota with your flatmates – you’ll discover recipes you never knew existed. Washing up and cleaning rotas are good too, and online banking - wherever you bank, this is your budgeting saviour. Keep track of what you spend and how savings can be made. Once you get into a routine with budgeting, washing, cleaning and all the other aspects of independent living, it may be that the course is the bigger challenge in your university life. Lecturers and seminar leaders are a lot less lenient than our favourite high school teachers and we are made to be much more independent in how we go about our study. It makes you grow up, and this can be the biggest challenge of all.
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our twenty-first birthday is always going to have to be a big one. Just as eighteen is the celebration of being legally an adult, twenty-one is the celebration of actually being one. After twenty-one is a big wide world of jobs and mortgages. Soon it’ll no longer be socially acceptable to crawl into bed in the small hours of the morning. Let’s not lie - after twenty-one you’re officially over the hill. Therefore, your twenty-first has got to be a celebration of all that you’re leaving behind, and all that you’ve got to look forward to.
“Eighteen is the celebration of being legally an adult, twenty-one is a celebration of actually being one�
Having recently celebrated a friend’s twentyfirst, it is safe to assume that the revelries are going to have to be a weekend-long venture, starting mid-afternoon on the Friday and ending on the Monday morning when you come downstairs to an awful lot of mess, and the knowledge that after drinking for three nights on the trot, your hangover will last at least double the time. The best way to go about this is to pace yourself: you don’t want to crash and burn on your first night, and then be in bed before ten o’clock for the next two. Often it’s best to start out slowly, perhaps a classier affair such as cocktails on the first night, especially as if you have friends from back home coming to stay you’ll have plenty to catch up on. Happy Hour on Osborne Road is an easy and relatively inexpensive way to combine these two requirements - or if you’re looking for a slightly swankier venue, The Botanist is brilliant for impressive interior. Make
sure you have fun daytime activities planned as well, as there’s nothing worse for brooding about your impending middle-age than a houseful of morose, hungover guests lying around in your living room. Going to the beach is a good way of blowing away the cobwebs and feeling refreshed before you begin again. Another foolproof plan is to book taxis into town way in advance. Taxis are harder to secure later on in the night anyway and if there’s a big group of you, you’ll find that without booking, you’ll all be arriving at different points in the night. Perhaps also have an even ratio of housemates and fellow Newcastle students-to-home friends, so that at least one person per taxi knows where they’re going when they head out. It’s also wise to book a table at a club or bar, which are often either free or come with perks such as free vodka, which is never a bad thing. It also gives you a base in which to meet so that your party can stick together better, other-
wise you can feel like you’ve not seen someone all night. Finally, remember that your twenty-first is all about you, not something that you can often say. It’s your celebration, so you should decide on what you want to do. Although it’s important that everybody has a good time, your priority should not be coaxing your friend who isn’t a morning person out of bed if you’ve planned to go somewhere, or changing a bar en route because someone doesn’t like the ‘vibes’ there. Most of all, enjoy your twentyfirst. And r e m e m b e r, age is only a number.
The Courier
.13
Monday 9 March 2015
Culture thecourieronline.co.uk/culture
Culture Editor: Kate Bennett Sections: Lifestyle, Fashion, Beauty, Arts, Music, Film, TV, Gaming and Science courier.culture@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierOnline
Blind Date
Amy Tiffin, 2nd Year English Lit with Creative Writing meets Josh Nicholson, 3rd Year Sociology
Amy on Josh
Who decided where the date would take place? He wanted to go to Za Za Bazaar. I’m not really big on the place to be honest, but I didn’t want to be fussy because he seemed pretty excited about it. What was it like meeting Josh then? I could tell he was a really nice guy from the start, properly pulled my chair out for me and everything. It was like dating Bond. Good looking? Not too shabby. Definitely dressed the part. Also smelt good, like he’d bathed in Hugo Boss.
Josh on Amy
Where did you and Amy decide to go? She said she wouldn’t mind going for some food. So in true gentlemanly fashion, I offered to take her for the full Za Za Bazaar experience. Was she keen on this idea? Oh absolutely mate. I mean, it’s all you can eat, what girl’s gonna turn that down? What were your first impressions of Amy? Small and hot, like a jalapeño. When I suggested all you can eat, I’d thought she might be a little taller. So yeah, probably wasted a bit of dollar there. She also had a nice personality.
What were his eating habits like? I don’t think you could call them ‘habits’, there weren’t really any patterns to speak of. He definitely got his money’s worth, let’s put it that way.
Did she enjoy the diverse range of foods that Za Za Bazaar has to offer? I don’t know, I think I only saw her eat some chicken and rice. Maybe she was self-conscious or something. I don’t know, I was a little busy shovelling food in my face to be honest.
Did he keep up a steady stream of banter? He did to be fair, had me cracking up a fair bit. At one point, he genuinely put a spring roll in his pint and then downed it. He called it his ‘party trick’, but I haven’t seen many spring rolls at the parties I’ve been to.
How was the conversation then, you know, between mouthfuls? Yeah, it was alright. Had some pretty interesting chats about what animals we would and wouldn’t eat. She drew the line at dog. I said monkey. I think I talked about some of the sports stuff I do as well but I’m not too sure. I knew I needed to get it out there at some point. Birds go mental for footballers.
“It was like dating Bond” Were there any awkward parts? He did talking about his footballing prowess a fair bit. I mean I could tell he really liked his sport and everything, but I don’t think he realised I wasn’t quite as interested in his ‘absolute screamers’ as he was. It was cute though. He also kept dangling noodles from his mouth and asking me to eat them, like in that Disney film with the dogs. He was quite persistent actually.
“She was small and hot, like a jalapeño”
What went down after you left the restaurant? We were both a bit drunk and I fancied checking out that Botanist place, so we went there. There was a lot of drunk talk on the Metro.
Did Amy? She seemed to be enjoying it as far as I can remember. I was knocking back the beer pretty fast. She was definitely laughing though, I remember that much.
What was said? Well I quickly realised he was a bit more drunk than me when he took his shoes off. It’s not that I have a problem with feet or anything, it’s just, the floor was quite dirty, both on and off the Metro.
Were there any unusual moments on the date? Well at one point she said she could eat a whole chicken drumstick in one go, so I challenged her to prove it. Next thing I knew, she banged one in her mouth and literally pulled the whole bone out meatless. I was pretty impressed. In return I showed her my special party trick—but we’ll not go into that.
How was the atmosphere at The Botanist? Bustling. Josh started dancing with some random middleaged people as soon we got inside, so I went to get myself a cocktail.
Were there any romantic moments? I was trying to do the Lady and the Tramp spaghetti thing but I don’t think she’d seen it. She sort of just looked at me like I was mentally ill.
Did he join you at the bar? He spent quite a while dancing with old people actually. Pretty weird, not gonna lie. Eventually I just sort of pulled him away.
Did you guys go anywhere after Za Za then? We went to The Botanist, but it all gets pretty blurry at that point. There was definitely a tree.
Were any moves made? I couldn’t really tell whether he was leaning in or just swaying, but no, there were no kisses to disclose.
How did the date end? Fuck knows. Honestly, fuck knows.
How did the date end? Me, ringing him a taxi home, after watching him stare into space for twenty minutes not even speaking. He was really apologetic about it actually, but I can’t say I was overly impressed. Would you see him again? Meh, why not?
Would you see Amy again? Yeah, I just don’t know if she would. She hasn’t replied to my text yet. I’m still wondering what the hell happened at The Botanist. Rate that date? 10/10, solid date.
Date rate? Wicked fab.
Looking for love? Send in your details to c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk
14.lifestyle
Monday 9 March 2015
The Courier
Lifestyle Editors: Jack Dempsey, Annie Lord, Holly Suttle and Tom Tibble Lifestyle Editors:
2:1? Too bad Lauren Exell discusses the unfair reality that working hard and slacking off all too often lead to the same degree
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ith the news that nowadays seven in ten students get a 2:1 and one in five are achieving a first class degree, there is an ever-increasing pressure to leave university with top marks. Apparently, around three quarters of large graduate employers routinely use the 2:1 to sift through job applications, putting serious stress on our poor student lives. The obvious reason so many students are getting a 2:1 is because 3 years and £27,000 later, both the keenos and the slackers are ending up with the same degree. Of course, this is dependent on the nature of your course – whilst some Business students manage to get 85 by revising the night before, it takes a genius to get a 2:1 in Engineering with minimal effort. However, the irritating reality is that many students can cram the night before and somehow manage to blag a 60, or meticulously work constantly throughout the semester but just fall short of the 70 mark.
“Many students can cram the night before and somehow manage to blag a 60”
Some very lucky individuals can take the first approach and get away with it. Why would they ever even bother going into university when they can just flick through lecture slides over Tuesday’s episode of Jeremy Kyle? Summative assignments can obviously be done in half an hour the night before the deadline, and what’s the point in working during term time when a few 24 hour stints in the Robbo during exam season can get you the same result? Or they could take the alternative approach, trying to push for that first. Actually do all the required reading each week (even the optional reading if you’re that keen). Pop in and see your lecturers in their office hours, maybe even make friends with them to see if you can gain a few extra brownie points? Meticulously revise every topic that could possibly come up on the exam, even if you only have to answer two questions out of the five topics studied. Result: end up with 69, but the same mark is still printed on your certificate on graduation day. Future employers aren’t going to know you were in the Robbo until 5am every Friday and Saturday night, and really you’re just giving up a full university experience. Unfortunately, this kind of shatters any incentive to carry on trying, but how many of us are willing to risk it and end up with the dreaded 2:2?
“Future employers aren’t going to know you were in the Robbo until 5am every Friday and Saturday night they’ll just see the 2:1”
Moreover, whatever degree programme you study, getting a 2:1 does require some effort, unless obviously you’re that BNOC who manages to go out every night and still get amazing grades. Most of us are more than familiar with a library all-nighter when we’ve accidentally not done an assignment until the day before. Finding the balance between going out and getting through your degree does really take its toll when you realise you’re not one of those people who can do an essay hungover.
Mephe-droning on
Doing them can be fun, talking about them endlessly isn’t: Fiona Callow on drug-bores
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o you do drugs. So what? That doesn’t give you automatic bragging rights to how much, how often, or how cool you are because you were just “sooo fucked last night.” It also doesn’t mean that just because the evidence of your intoxication has disappeared up your nose and doesn’t play itself out with you slumped on a park bench at three in the afternoon with a bottle wrapped in a carrier bag, shouting at pigeons, that there isn’t still a time and a place when all of your bragging just makes you seem, well, a little bit tragic.
“Spare everyone the tedium of listening to you laugh about how you do lines every time you score on FIFA”
or at the closest pub, is it really necessary to take something before you go? Conversation will hardly be flowing while you sweat over your pint, looking twitchily over your shoulder and disappearing to the bathroom every half an hour only to come back suspiciously wide-eyed. Company is also an important factor in judging the appropriate time and place. Just as you wouldn’t take a teetotal friend to Tiger to show them a good time, surely basic manners dictate you take into account all of your friends’ tastes in what constitutes a fun night out so that they don’t have to sit in your living room listening to house music on loop and watching you sniff coke off your car keys. If you have like-minded friends, they probably love listening to your drug-related boasts, but if not, I’m
afraid to say, they probably really don’t care. You’re not cool by your association with drug-taking, you’re not scaling social ladders by telling everyone how many different pills you’ve tried. Surely people should like you for you, as opposed to what you take? Drugs, like drink, have always had an association with students and are an undeniable presence in the whole university experience. In an environment where the general consensus is each to their own, people have the ability and right to choose what they put into their bodies, be it drugs or alcohol. So each to their own. But next time, maybe take a long, hard look at yourself and think twice before you brag about your drug habit.
There should still be a basic drugs etiquette that you follow, if not only to spare everyone else the tedium of having to listen to you laugh about how once you spent the evening doing lines every time you scored on FIFA. Your friends might exchange pointed looks if you admitted that you were doing shots in between lectures, so why do different rules apply to drug-taking? A word of advice: when someone suggests that you have a quiet night in, they mean exactly that. Maybe doing drugs before you go does help to understand the whole other hidden dimension to EastEnders, or give you enough energy to sit through an entire Lord of the Rings movie marathon - but that’s nothing that a bag of Haribo and a lot of Red Bull can’t do for you too. You wouldn’t invite a friend over to watch a film and then see off a bottle of vodka five minutes before they arrived, and doing drugs is no exception to this rule. Also, if you’re going for a drink on Osborne Road,
Self-checkout machines: an ode
Jack Dempsey reveals his scandalous love escapade with a self-checkout machine
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t was a month of violent confusion. Jen had broken up with me just a week earlier for apparently being too needy, too easily disposed to emotional breakdown. I knew she was just bluffing though, and spent the following week holed up in the bathroom ordering two-for-one Dominoes pizzas. Hers was a Vegi Supreme. Mine: Meat Lovers. I should have known it’d never work. Eventually, I ran out of Matey Bubble Bath, and was forced to do what any sane man would’ve done in my situation. But when I got to the shop, the woman there said she hadn’t seen Matey Bubble Bath in years and swore it’d gone out of production. Where had I got the original bottle? As I’ve said, it was a month of violent confusion. In a state of utter disappointment at its distinct lack of nautical themes, I joined the queue with a bottle of Johnson’s No More Tears. I could see the checkout girl at the end. Beautiful, just like Jen, I thought, my eyes starting to spill over like a tub too full. You lied to me, Johnson. You said there’d be no more tears. “Jack?” “Oh my God, Jen. What are you doing here?” “I work here. You know I work here.” “This is my local.” “But you live all the way in Heaton?” “I’m a wreck Jen, the other day I tried to choke myself on stuffed crust. I’ve been drinking Matey Bubble Bath!”. The security man gently took my hand and led me away. “Here mate, use this one.” He leaned in close: “We’ve all had our hearts broken.” When I’d finished convulsing, I realised what was poised in front of me: a creature of otherworldly design, coaxing me to scan my items with a hypnotic bedroom voice. Shockingly, there was no queue before her. Both of us then, unwanted, like
a discounted French baguette that hardens too quickly to be a worthwhile purchase. Her baggage area was completely empty. God, I thought, and here’s me with so much. She let me put it in all by myself, something I hadn’t done in so long. Then, a miraculous thing happened: she accepted. No judgements whatsoever, just my PIN and £2.75. That was how I knew she liked me, and now she had my number.
“You lied to me, Johnson. You said there’d be no more tears” It was too soon to go for more bubble bath - no mortal man could lather so excessively - but I knew I had to go back and ask her out. There was no way around it. All I could do was go right up to her screen and press her on it. But what if she rejected me? What if she couldn’t key in my code,
or look me up? The assistant might even have to come over; I’d be stood there like an idiot wishing I’d just used a human and not let things get so complicated. Screw it, I thought, it was worth the risk. I could always cancel and get the hell out of there. “So yeah, I was thinking I could redeem some Nectar points and maybe get us some sushi? I know you don’t eat, but I could just put the cash value in your slot hole or something. What do you think?” “Unexpected item in bagging area, remove this item before continuing.” In my nervousness I’d accidentally been pressing my knee against her scale. “Gosh I’m sorry. You’re such a sensitive woman.” “Please place the item in the bagging area before continuing.” “Make up your mind! I can’t take this any longer.” “Please place the item in the bagging area before continuing.” I climbed up into one of her carrier bags and nestled there, knowing we only had limited time together. With its incessant demands, society would never let us be. “No more tears,” I whispered.
The Courier
lifestyle.15
Monday 9 March 2015
thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierLifestyle @CourierLifestyle
Heavenly housemates from hell
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ousemates. They can be heaven on Earth, or simply a pain in the neck. By now, it is most likely that everyone has made decisions on identifying who will be sharing their most sacred space called ‘home’ for the upcoming academic year. This article will therefore not be giving you advice on how to choose housemates, but it will rather help you define what housemates you have chosen and whether next year will be heaven or hell for you.
“Domestic cleanliness is often neglected”
So, what are the good, bad and ugly bits of living with housemates who are either too much fun, or just dead boring? Fun ranges from house parties and movie nights to game nights. Obviously, the greatest perk is, well, fun. Fun housemates lead an
exemplary social life, filled with ideas for nightouts and where to get cheapest deals. You seek their recommendation for your next dinner out, the next club to celebrate your birthday, or the next blockbuster to watch. Their constantly dynamic and cheerful lifestyle makes it convenient for you to maintain a balanced social life as well as to keep updated on the newest social events. Really, they’re your personal culture magazine. However, fun housemates can also be tricky. The noise resulting from their pre-drinking parties and sonic speakers can radically sabotage your sleep. Because they’re too heaped up in organizing the next social event, domestic cleanliness is also often neglected. Hence, your flat might resemble the aftermath of WWII and you might end up cleaning their mess because they’re too exhausted for it. More extremely, abstract definitions of ‘fun’ can cause your housemates and, indirectly, you, legal trouble due to too many eardrum-perforating par-
A mega party house
ties. On the opposite end of the spectrum, there are the boring housemates. The peace they bring about is paradise to you. You never see them, except for at mealtimes. And curfew is capitalised in their ground rules. Because they don’t do much, your house has become so tranquil you could register it as a Buddhist temple. Moreover, since a major part of their time is spent domestically, they will make sure the flat is in spotless condition, which makes you feel like you’re living with an invisible fairy godmother.
“The peace brought by boring housemates is paradise”
However, silence can also be a living hell. Living with housemates you never get to see is like living with ghosts in a graveyard, with deathly silence 24/7. Since they are often not very sociable, it complicates your attempts in trying to establish a relationship with them. Moreover, they tend to be excessively noise-sensitive and get annoyed by the slightest mess you make. This can result in either confrontational discussions where their eyes ooze judgement and disapproval, or more passive, grouching conversations behind your back. Having polarized the two most popular types of housemates, it is important to remember that these categorizations are not definite. The vast majority of us dwell somewhere in the middle, with a tendency to one direction or the other. Ultimately, it is all about the balance: too much ‘fun’ can equal stress, whereas too much ‘boredom’ can result in depression. The secret ingredient to a harmonious life with your chosen housemates is a combination of mutual respect and tolerance, expressed and practiced in open and honest communication. Because aren’t we all grown-ups? Good, then let’s handle this like real adults.
Microwave meals: Banana bread in a mug
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his week I bring you another way to cheat your way to cake using only a few ingredients from your cupboard. This latest recipe is for a big favourite of mine: banana bread. Using your microwave, this recipe presents a way to save an hour of your life, compared with baking banana bread in the oven. I kid you not! Ingredients: 4 tablespoons of plain flour, ½ a teaspoon of baking powder, a pinch of salt, a good shake of cinnamon, a ripe banana, 2 tablespoons of brown sugar, 2 tablespoons of oil, a dash of vanilla extract & maybe a splash of milk. Optional: a handful of pecan nuts or raisins or choc chips, or anything you like really. To get your cheat on and bake banana bread in a mug in just ten easy steps, here’s wotcha do: 1. Take 2 mugs out of the cupboard. 2. In the first mug spoon in four tablespoons of plain flour, ½ a teaspoon of baking powder and a pinch of salt. Add a good shake of cinnamon. 3. If you’ve got ‘em, chop up a handful of pecan nuts and throw them in the mug, too. Stir it up. Top Tip: No nuts? How about a handful of raisins or choc chips? 4. In your second mug, mash a banana. 5. Add two tablespoons of brown sugar and two tablespoons of oil. If the Bake Off is a TV staple in your flat and you have a well-stocked baking cupboard, then throw in a dash of vanilla extract. Stir it up again. 6. Slide the contents of your mug of goo into your mug of flour and stir some more. 7. Then, because there’s bound to be flour stuck in the bottom that you can’t reach, tip it all back into the other mug. Keep on stirring.
Top Tip: If your mix seems quite solid then maybe add a splash of milk to loosen it up. It depends on how big your banana was (oo-er), and so on. Just use your good judgement, chef. 8. Pop your mug mix into the microwave to warm for two minutes. Meanwhile, stick the kettle on for a brew. 9. After two minutes, does it look like cake or cake mix in your mug? If it’s cake then you’re good to go. If it’s mix then probably give it another minute. 10. Then with your mug of tea and your mug of
cake, go get comfy and enjoy your lovely treat. That’s all there is to it. This recipe barely even requires ten moves - it’s seriously simple. Plus, no butter or eggs, so, unless you’re adding milk, this recipe is entirely cupboard-based. Other than the banana, nothing fresh involved. You could have been a hermit in your home for a fortnight or more (though I don’t advise this) and still be able to make banana bread in a mug. It’s that good. Microwave safely, everyone. Time taken: 10 minutes
Dissertation desertion Rachel Marks’ seven stages of breaking up with your dissertation
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f you were, like myself, one of the lucky ones who’s dissertation deadline was before Easter, or still have the joys of it to come, here is what you might experience when you and you disso finally end your relationship. Stage 1: Shock. What the hell has just happened?! Dissertation just broke up with me. 33% of my University degree and he just fucked off ?! How can he do this to me, to us. We went through so much together, so many milestones. We went away together, collected data together, analysed it together. How could he do this to ME?! Stage 2: Denial. It didn’t happen. I didn’t print him, bind him or sign him off. We are not broken up. He’ll be back.
“We went through so much together, so many milestones” Stage 3: Isolation. “Go out”, they say. “Get drunk”, they say. It’s NOT. THAT. EASY. I want to sit at home and be with my bed. My lovely faithful, never going to break up with me like that dickhead did, bed. Stage 4: Anger. I HATE YOU. Nearly a year together and this is how you leave it. I haven’t said everything I wanted to say, or done everything I wanted to do with you. I didn’t know the last time we spent together was going to be the last time! I HATE YOU. I hate you for making me tired, and for making me eat so much comfort food. I hate you for existing and for turning me a little bit crazy. I hate you for just leaving me like you did. FUCK YOU. Stage 5: Bargaining. What can I do to get you back? I will do anything. I will open you back up and we can just look over it all, make some tweaks to our relationship, review our time together and learn from what we did wrong to better our relationship. I will even do that thing you always wanted me to do, you know…print you single sided. I will do ANYTHING.
“I’ll even do that thing you always wanted me to do...print you singlesided” Stage 6: Depression. My. Life. Is. Over. I just cant live without him. I don’t know what to do with myself. I have taken up knitting and salsa. I made rocky road, soup and hummus all in one day. I am trying to keep myself busy, but everything turns to you. I go to sleep thinking about you and I wake up thinking about you. Stage 7: Acceptance. I know why we were together and what he meant to me. I know why we are no longer together and how I will now grow as an individual. I know that I will be okay without him and can see myself starting to imagine being with other essays, even if they don’t mean as much to me.
18.fashion
Monday 9 March 2015
The Courier
Fashion Editors: Amy O’Rourke and Hannah Fitton Online Fashion Editor: Hannah Goldstein
Joan Didion for Celine Ellen Dixon
A new era of models are taking over the catwalk, and they’re probably older than your grandparents
Suitably suave
Sinead Corkett-Beirne orkett-Beirne guides you through choosing and styling the perfect suit
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wenty-fifteen is the quite frankly the year of the ‘new model’. This year has seen Ashley Graham, the first ‘plus size’ model, feature in Sports Illustrated looking absolutely stunning in an advert from the annual Swimsuit Issue. So in the fashion world it has been no surprise that designers are heading down a different avenue when branding and promoting their products, and they have done it by marshalling a fresh batch of mature models. It’s no revolution, though - older women have long appeared in cosmetics adverts. However, 80-year-old Joan Didion appearing in Céline’s spring campaign sent shockwaves through the internet and fashion world, and some consider this new marketing scheme simply a ploy to draw in the average consumer through shock tactics. This will obviously be partly true: we are all completely used to seeing young models with flawless skin and slim bodies presenting brands’ clothes.
“80-year-old Joan Didion appearing in Celine’s spring campaign sent shockwaves through the internet and fashion world”
However, there is also something inherently genius in this idea. To return to Joan Didion - an intellectual, writer and creative icon who’s been through some tragic events and come out stronger than ever - and present her as an image of their brand, Céline are projecting an image of what their buyers are or can be. It’s not just about looking good, but exercising intelligence and strength while doing so. If age wasn’t considered, you’d simply have a woman who is an inspiration for any category of buyer. She adds significant cultural value to Céline’s clothes and brand. Then Joni Mitchell for Yves Saint Laurent. Women know her for the talent that she is, and for her effortless cool. Yves Saint Laurent are famous for using older models in the past, such as Marianne Faithfull and Courtney Love, because of their relationship with the music industry. However, Joni Mitchell’s reputation could not be more suited to the 70s spring trend, and the folksy shirt and guitar in the campaigns recall exactly what is happening on the catwalk. I imagine for a lot of older women it is refreshing to see the clothes of high fashion modelled on people they can identify with. I think one of the most influential aspects of this new era is the movement away from the ‘male gaze’. Though when it comes to fashion it should be about how the individual feels, many women still dress in what they think men would like to see them wear. Didion and Mitchell have been incredibly successful in and for themselves, and in that sense, I think it’s important that the industry continues on this road to make changes to become an industry that reflects real, successful w o m e n instead of mannequins.
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e are all fully aware of the fact that fashions change continuously; this season’s trends will soon become next month’s charity shop goods. However, one piece of attire that seems to continuously remain stylish is the beloved suit. As an all-time classic, it ought to be a staple item of clothing in every man’s wardrobe. Its versatility means that it is suitable for almost every occasion, whether it be an interview for a job, a graduation ceremony, or simply attending a friend’s birthday bash. In fact, you could probably wear it down the pub.
Tailor-made suits are rather expensive to purchase but fear not, the high-street has a fantastic range of suits on offer in every colour and design that you could possibly imagine. If you are looking to grab a bargain, Topman has an affordable selection to choose from with prices starting at £80. Simplistic designs and dark, block colours such as grey, navy, and black suits are far more wearable than those with a distinctive pattern, such as tweed and tartan, which are also slightly pricier. The ensemble can only be completed by teaming it with a crisp white shirt, a pair of smart leather
shoes and a satchel. If you are concerned that the look is quite minimalist, a coloured shirt or patterned tie will completely transform your look. However, it is best to shy away from novelty ties, unless you are attending an office Christmas party where exceptions can be made, as this diminishes the elegance of the overall look. Tweed blazers are the perfect option if you are seeking a more casual look, as not only are they the epitome of British men’s fashion, they also make any man look as though he has stepped straight out of a Jack Wills catalogue.
Yeezy does it
Sarah Holland on Kanye West’s highly anticipated collaboration with Adidas
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ne word. Disaster. Seriously Kanye, what were you thinking? The best thing about the release of Kanye’s ‘Yeezy Boost trainers with Adidas’ line was the humorous moment North West had a temper tantrum on the front row, right next to a straight-faced Anna Wintour. It seems that little Nori wasn’t impressed by Daddy’s efforts. In October 2011 Kanye debuted a collection that was torn apart by critics. It seems like he took that criticism, and applied it to his new line. The clothes presented by the singer on the first day of New York Fashion week looked like they had been through some sort of nuclear apocalypse. The show began with a taped monologue by Kanye in which he said, “I want people to feel like it’s OK to create and follow their dreams and not feel boxed in – I want people to feel that awesome is possible. There’s a lack of creativity in every field because people are afraid”. Perhaps this was a reaction to his dismissal from the fashion elite - he claims that he “brought the leather jogging pant six years ago to Fendi, and they said no”. Whatever it was, there was a definite bitterness to his words. The industrial space by the Hudson River mirrored Kanye’s industrial, apocalyptic-style clothes. The room was dimly lit, and the models, including Kendall Jenner, stood in rows wearing white body
stockings, ragged jumpers and what seemed to be tights as hats. Hems were frayed, tops were either incredibly cropped, or big and billowy, and bottoms either skin tight or crumpled and tucked into boots. The footwear, the collection’s biggest selling point, ranged from grey suede knee-high boots to high-tops with a wide band of elastic over the toes - however, these didn’t save the show. Halfway through the show, West’s new song ‘Wolves’ - made with Sia and Chicago rapper Vic Mensa - started playing. Whether the bench-rattling bassline was intended to wake guests from a slumber caused by the dullness of the pieces, who knows. However, it did add a certain earthiness to the show, and by the end the Twitter talk was about the song and not the footwear. The body stockings and skin-coloured crop tops were unforgiving in the extreme and only for the body confident. West’s collections do seem to have one fan in Kim Kardashian, who turned up to the show in headto-toe Yeezy. Does it count if the only fan is your wife? If they weren’t bound by marital ties would Kim have had the same reaction as the Vogue commenter who said, ‘This isn’t a fashion collection, this is a North Korean labour camp on a bad day!”? It’s harsh, but kind of true.
“ ‘A North Korean labour camp on a bad day’, as one Vogue commenter put it”
The Courier
fashion.19
Monday 9 March 2015
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Dutch courage
Freestyle wrapping Charlotte Maxwell
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ouse of Holland is renowned for its fun and tough looks, and this autumn/winter collection did not disappoint. Pattern prevailed, with go faster strips, dogstooth checks and tartan in an array of colours from pinks and purples to reds and yellows. He did not stop there, producing oversized fluffy sheepskin jackets in marshmallow pink, reds and purples, and proving that autumn and winter does not have to mean neutral tones and simple patterns. Combined with leather, wide legged trousers and short velvet dresses, the looks were strong and confident but easily wearable. You could be sure you certainly would not blend into the crowd, and this is what I love about this collection. The show gives way to a tough-girl-gang trend, which was also seen in a number of other shows, such as Marc by Marc Jacobs and Coach. Holland described the looks as “tough, uptown women; trustafarian street urchins”, and this was translated by the models standing proud, exuding self-assurance and poise. I love how Holland showcased such wearable looks that can be translated onto the high street. For example, the statement blouse with its contrast of bright yellow and black in a mix of vertical and horizontal stripes adds a fun twist to the otherwise
black outfit. A super high-waisted mini skirt creates a flattering silhouette, and the detailing of the front zip gives it that tough edge - the perfect look for a night out. I was thrilled to see that coloured fluffy jackets were not just a one-off trend, and a personal favourite of mine was the coloured sheepskin jackets. Oversized and in an array of shades the fur coat is sure to be one of the new season’s statement pieces. With pink being one of my favourite colours, I was drawn to the use of pink and berry shades in a few of the looks. The coat showcases the use of pattern with its dogtooth checks that are complimented by a skirt in the same pattern. Always keen to keep looks sharp and robust, Holland adds a PVC waist belt and boots, which makes for an effective contrast. It’s easy to transpose the looks seen on the catwalk onto the high-street. The statement dogtooth coat is perfect for jazzing up an otherwise plain outfit, and fur coats are in abundance. Pink and shades of berry are set to be a statement this season, so make sure you have plenty in your spring wardrobe.
Topshop
As London Fashion Week draws to a close, Emily Pentony tells us why House of Holland’s autumn and winter collection was the standout show
Should the music we love influence the clothes we choose to wear?
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t is arguable that our choice of iPod melodies and our dress sense should go hand in hand, or at least society often sees it that way. Looking like you stepped straight out of Grease may be an indicator that you’re into your musicals and some old skool charm, but what if you prefer a splash of drum and bass, with a hint of jungle riddim. Stereotyping within and between music and fashion has been a given for quite some time. Music videos and celebrity style choices (or rather stylists’ choices) are undeniably clear feeders to this situation. For example, if we consider Nicki Minaj and Florence Welch, we have two very different looks, accompanied by two very different styles of music - and I think we can all wholeheartedly agree that swapping their wardrobes for a week while they were on tour would result in a rather strange and thought-provoking experience. Singing about anacondas, starships and pounding the alarm doesn’t completely match up with floaty floral fabrics and dark hues. Personally, I believe that people should wear whatever they like, whenever they like. Yes, sometimes clothing decisions may seem a little odd and misplaced to those in the vicinity (I once went to a Jamie T concert wearing gold hoops, Pastry’s trainers and a fruit-inspired pair of leggings, alongside a Rihanna-esque up do complete with vintage headscarf), but each to their own. As someone who likes lots of different styles when it comes to both clothes and music, it is often quite difficult for me to match a genres from each camp and make it look conventional.
Double denim
Paige Roddam shows how twice the denim can mean twice the style
Topshop Topman ASOS
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ouble denim, the two words that can make anyone cringe as they cast their mind back to Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake’s denim disaster at the 2001 AMAs - but the trend is currently making a massive comeback. Cara Delevingne is currently the face of Topshop’s spring/summer 2015 campaign, featuring some gorgeous retro denim looks. As with many trends, there are a lot of ways double denim can go so wrong, but the right garments, washes and accessories can turn it from cringe to cool. For the gals, teaming a pair of dark-wash skinny jeans with a plain white top and an open lightwash denim shirt is my favourite look, as it can be dressed up by pairing with heels and chunky silver accessories, or down by opting for boots, as seen on Kate Bosworth. For the slightly more adventur-
ous among us, I am loving the denim shirt tucked into a skinny jean trend that celebrities are sporting – generally try to opt for contrasting shades of denim, but it is possible to rock a matching shade combo. I am also loving the denim co-ords seen at Fashion Week recently; Adam Selman’s Spring 2015 collection featured a stunning cropped denim shirt paired with matching shorts and white acces-
sories, and ASOS has recently produced a version that’s more affordable but just as fab. Denim jackets are of course a staple item in anyone’s wardrobe, and can be rocked with shorts, skinny jeans, boyfriend jeans, or skirts. Even a denim scrunchie included in your outfit looks great, and is a trendy first step towards double denim if you aren’t quite ready to go all out. The double denim look isn’t strictly reserved for us girls, either. Denim looks great on all genders, and for the boys a denim jacket is also a must-have. I love the darker-wash jackets, especially paired with a dark pair of skinny jeans and a dark coloured top. Although it seems to be a trend that divides the fashion world, with the right styling and accessories, we should embrace the fact that twice the denim is twice as stylish.
“Trying to appreciate Beenie Man in a pair of jeans you cannot move in is quite the challenge”
I have considered that the idea of someone dressing a particular way and listening to a particular type of music may be more fitting when it comes to someone with more specific tastes. For example (I’ll take a walk down memory lane), back during my school days I was an emo, quickly turned scene kid - so naturally I moved from a dark dress code of black skinny jeans, a fringe that hid half my face and an overload of wristbands to coloured skinnies, cartoon-printed hoodies (often featuring Totoro) and checked tights. The music of course matched the attire, but when I discovered my love of reggae dancehall it almost felt as though the look no longer worked. Trying to appreciate Beenie Man in a pair of jeans that you cannot move in is quite the challenge. So slowly, the style transitioned. I would still jump at the sight of some anime-inspired clothing or a David and Goliath bag, but it doesn’t shape me anymore. I think when you’re young and impressionable, it’s easy for the music you listen to make you feel that you need to dress a particular way. But, the important thing is to remember that music and fashion do not need to match - just choose what works for you.
20.beauty
Monday 9 March 2015
The Courier
Beauty Editors: Charlotte Davies and Charlotte Maxwell Online Editor: Kathy Davidson
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ith my dissertation deadline so close I can almost taste it, for the past few months I have spent nearly every waking moment in the Robbo. Not only is this driving me to the point of insanity, my general appearance is also taking a bit of a battering. I have therefore decided to make some changes to my everyday beauty routine so that I can still look presentable (hopefully meaning I can retain any street cred I have amassed during the past three years), and make it to the Robinson for 9 in order to snag the best seat.
“With a Tangle Teezer, brushing my hair takes 10 seconds with one hand and no mirror”
The first change I’ve made is to replace my old comb with a Tangle Teezer (£10.99). Without a doubt this is the greatest hair brush ever invented I am in LOVE. I can definitely see why this professional detangler has earned its godlike status in the brush world. I used to comb my hair straight after getting out of the shower, and because my hair is so fine and knots so easily this would usually take around 10 minutes (I would get some serious arm ache.) With a Tangle Teezer however, it takes 10 seconds with one hand and no mirror. It so easy to use I can use it whilst getting my lunch and breakfast ready for the day. The next thing I noticed about my general appearance after a long period of neglect was how dry my skin was. I have always been dedicated to keeping my skin lovely and moisturised but, with the end of term drawing ever closer, this has fallen by the wayside. My mum recommended Soap and Glory’s Whipped Clean Shower Butter (£8.00) to me, and now my skin is well on the way to regaining its past softness. Not only does it work as a shower gel and a moisturiser (meaning you can skip the post-shower moisturising session) it also triples up as a shaving cream so you can get a quick leg shave in there too. You also come out of the shower smelling absolutely irresistible.
“MAC’s Prep + Prime Beauty Balm is a primer, moisturiser, foundation and SPF in one bottle”
Of course my face needed a little attention too. Macs Prep + Prime Beauty Balm (£24.00) is illuminating primer, lightweight moisturiser, buildable foundation and SPF 35 in one. It’s basically everything you need in one bottle. I don’t have the ability to dedicate as much time during the week to prep and prime my face as I once did so this is just perfect for me. It also gives a great coverage, and you don’t even need a mirror. I hope these beauty hacks will help you claw back some precious time from the depths of the Robbo.
Eat your skin healthier
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eople follow all different kinds of vegetarian diets. Some cut out all meat, some cut out red meat only, some continue to eat fish. Some people don’t eat dairy products, and some choose to restrain themselves from all animal-derived substances. This will include cutting meat, poultry and seafood, as well as dairy products, eggs and honey. Whether you have adopted a vegan or vegetarian diet due to animal rights or because of other reasons, there are many beauty benefits that follow.
A recipe for success A vegan or vegetarian diet is synonymous with healthy-looking skin. You want foods that are hydrating, with large amounts of vitamins, healthy fats and minerals. It’s important to understand that you must feed your body the right foods so it can thrive. To achieve natural beauty you need to incorporate honest foods that will build that beauty for you. Unsurprisingly, a vegan or vegetarian diet is much more likely to include a greater proportion of fruit and vegetables - which is great news for the skin. Plant-based diets are typically low in fat and avoid those pore-clogging saturated fats found in animal products. Vitamin C plays a role in building collagen, which keeps your skin smooth and tight, proving fruits and vegetables are excellent in a vegetarian diet. The results: you boost your healthy glow by flushing out toxins, providing you with a radiant complexion.
Nuts Finding alternative protein sources is no longer an issue. Nuts are popular among vegans, in particular almonds, which are high in vitamin E, a powerful antioxidant. This means they will promote a youthful appearance. Nuts are a great choice, seeing as they are an easy alternative to a sweet snack, and are also easy to pop in your bag for on the go. Peanut butter is another perfect way to pack in the nutritional benefits of vitamin E as well as protein
- an easy breakfast solution. Removing meat from your diet forces you to explore your protein intake more thoughtfully, making you explore alternative food options.
Zinc A mineral that is necessary for healthy skin, hair and nails is zinc. Zinc maintains your skin’s elasticity and youthfulness, protecting cell membranes and playing a role in collagen production. Great sources of zinc are nuts, beans, mushrooms and wholegrains like brown rice. It is important to remember that when you fuel your body properly and respectfully, it will thank you.
Say no to dairy Dairy products contain strong hormones that are designed to take a newborn calf and turn it into a full-grown heifer in the shortest possible amount of time - not exactly what you want to be putting in your body. People with acne-prone skin often find that cutting out dairy helps brilliantly, and nowadays there are plenty of dairy-free alternatives, such as almond milk or dairy-free sorbet.
The good fats Healthy unsaturated fats equal healthy skin. Such forms of unsaturated fats can be found in foods with vitamin A - think green. Avocados provide fatty acids (not the bad saturated ones) that help with cell repair. Those healthy fats can also be found in foods such as seeds, which too contain omega 3. Quinoa and hemp seeds are excellent choices. The omega 3 protects the skin from sun damage and helps the skin moisturized. Hydrated skin is a must-have for winter.
Pretty in pink Lucy Cochrane VKRZV XV KRZ WR ZHDU WKLV VSULQJ¶V ELJ FRPHEDFN FRORXU SLQN
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ncorporating pink into our make-up is a great way of creating a really feminine and fresh look which is set to be a huge trend this spring. Think petal pinks, pastel shades, and rosy cheeks. A great way to start if you are a bit apprehensive is to use pink on the lips. The right shade of pink can really brighten your complexion and transform your overall look. I normally opt for darker, bluetoned pinks but for spring, it’s all about the pale petal pink. One of my recent favourites is Revlon’s Colourburst Lip Butter in the shade ‘Strawberry Shortcake’. This shade is perfect as it is not so light that it will completely wash you out, yet it is not super bold which keeps things soft and pretty for spring. The formula of these lip butters is great as they are really moisturising, yet not too sheer so you still have quite good colour payoff.
“Pink eye shadow seems scary, but it can work if you find the right shades” For eyes, although the idea of pink eye shadow may seem scary, it can work if you find the right shades. There is only one palette I turn to and it is Urban Decay’s Naked 3 palette. This is perfect as it is full of all really wearable shades, with a subtle touch of pink. All these shades veer on the warmer side of things which is great, featuring a lot of sparkle as well which is really pretty for spring. I use the shade ‘Limit’ all across the lid, a great neutral pink tone. The shades ‘Dust’, ‘Burnout’ and ‘Buzz’ are all pink sparkly shades which look really pretty on
the centre of the lid. I then use the darker almost mauve-pink ‘Nooner’ in the crease to add definition, followed by the darkest shade ‘Blackheart’, which is a really beautiful almost-black shade with an infusion of pink glitter. The palest shade, ‘Strange’, is an understated off-white pink which is great if you want to go for something much softer. Alternatively you can apply it in the inner corner and underneath the brow bone to highlight. If you want an easier way to achieve this pink trend, a great alternative is Maybelline’s Colour Tattoo in ‘Pink Gold’ which is brilliant on its own for a subtle pink sheen with surprising pigmentation. You could also use this to layer under eye shadow for a really long-lasting effect. Urban Decay also brought out the On the Run palette not too long ago, a really versatile palette that is also imbued with pink. It has a gorgeous shade called ‘Dive’, a metallic rose with golden shimmer which creates a really pretty effect without being overtly glittery. The all-over shade ‘5050’ is a super soft pink with faint shimmer, which is great all across the lid or as a highlighter. The bright pink blush in this palette is also stunning and a great way to add a rosy flush to your look. Sleek also do a really great pink blush which is perfect for spring, in the shade ‘Pixie Pink’. It looks super bright in the pan but it transfers quite naturally and its high pigmentation means you really only need a tiny bit. Another firm blush favourite is Max Factor’s Miracle Touch creamy blush in ‘Soft Pink’. These little pots are great as you literally only need the tiniest amount, plus the cream formula makes them ideal for spring as dewy skin is always on trend and compliments the pretty pink look to create a really feminine feel.
The Courier
beauty.21
Monday 9 March 2015
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Beauty and the beard
Brian McConnell talks beards, and lets us in on some growth and maintenance pointers
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eards. They have caused quite a bit of a hubbub the past few years with their meteoric rise among hip and happening crowds. Then there was the critical response to that fame, and more recently, discussions of whether or not we’ve reached ‘peak beard’, the magic tipping point when we are so inundated with facial hair it stops being cool again. To make a prediction, the day after ‘peak beard’ officially happens, myself and millions of other men will find that our faces have ignored better fashion advice and will still insist on growing hair. What then? I suppose, we could always try to have an honest discussion about beards.
ever, and I am ready to pass on some quick tips.
Growing your beard Patience is a virtue. The time between being clean-shaven and having something you call a successful beard can be awkward. For many of us, facial hair can take weeks or months to fill out, it often comes in uneven or patchy, and no one warns you about the ‘itchy’ period. While the solution is being patient and brave enough to let your beard grow, you can help yourself along the way by staying healthy (protein and sleep equate to healthy hair) and trimming as you grow.
“Facial hairstylists has always been slaves to fashion - historical beards were products of their time”
Trimming It is tempting to let your beard be, whether because you want as much growth as possible or because you’ve already sworn off fussing over it in the first place. Keep in mind however that trimming does promote new growth and starting to shape the way beard looks will help you pass the time as it grows. If you are already brimming with bristles, the occasional trim keeps your face from being full of frazzled fluff, as constant growth tends to turn into split ends. Even if your goal is to look full-on lumberjack, I also suggest finding your ‘line’. Your beard has to stop somewhere, and if you let your genetics figure that out for you, you might end up with more neck beard than you intended. My suggestion is a quick chat with your barber, he or she can usually show you where your neck line would look best for you.
Facial hairstyling has always been a slave to fashion, and no amount of fantasizing about bygone days of pure masculinity can replace the truth that all historical beards were products of their time. The Roman emperor Hadrian, famous for his local wall, was a hipster in his own right, trying to be ‘vintage’ with a beard meant to evoke ancient Greeks you have probably never heard of. Victorian men, known for their adventures in facial hair, were responding to social issues involving race, and class. So what is our excuse or motivation? Are we hip? Masculine? I’m not sure, but whether you are hiding a scar from that secret bar fight, you like the way you look with some face-fringe, or you have made the logical choice to trade shaving time in for extra sleep every morning, you have yourself a beard and you might as well take care of it. There are bona fide beard experts out there that run websites, blogs, you name it. Whatever facet of facial hair you want to know about, there is a place you can find answers. I would advise you send your technical questions their way, as I’d never claim to be an expert. I have a few years under my belt how-
Beard hygiene As a final suggestion, keep it clean guys. You don’t have to buy any fancy products (though if you do they can be delightful) - a simple lather from your shampoo will do the trick. Not only does a clean beard reflect better on you, more importantly, it keeps your face from being itchy. Remember to enjoy the beard you have, and seriously, try not to let it get itchy.
Beautiful creatures
Ellen Walker shares her top 3 beauty looks from London Fashion Week and the Oscars
Chrissy Teigan Chrissy Teigan was looking stunning at this year’s Oscars with a controversial look to die for. Her warmly highlighted hair was fashioned into flawless vintage waves with a classic, extravagant side parting to finish it off, this looked beautifully elegant swept over one shoulder to give way to her chiseled collar bones and perfect makeup. The contrast of her ethereal, shimmering dress and her dark, gothic purple lips was effortless and gave her look such an edge. She contrasted with the other celebs, who collectively seemed to be sporting a nude lip to this event - guess she didn’t get the memo. The rest of her makeup was fairly simple, with minimalistic eye makeup in nude and light brown shades. Teigan shows off her natural, glowing complexion with simple face makeup. She uses a highlighter to give the apples of her cheeks a dewy glow. Her skin is finished off with a sweep of sun kissed bronzer, to give her face a depth and healthy look.
J-Lo Jenny from the block was also boasting a beautiful glowing tanned look at the Oscars. Her skin looked similarly healthy and fresh, keeping her seemingly eternal youth intact. This freshness blended beautifully with her pale nude dress and her glossy baby pink lips, emphasizing her ever-perfect pout. She really brought out her healthy glowing look with shimmery, metallic gold-copper eye shadow. This summery look really worked on her skin tone and succeeded in providing a feature aspect on her face to complement her dress. This also really livened up her otherwise simple complexion. Her eyes were complemented beautifully by a dark smokey brown and black finish around her lash line as a simple frame to her eyes. All of this was brought together by a natural baby pink blush, giving her look a sense of innocence. Her stylish sleeked back pony tail was simple but perfect and revealed her contoured cheekbones, allowing her make-up to take centre stage.
Cara Delevingne Cara Delevingne’s appearance at London Fashion week’s closing show was much anticipated and I think it’s safe to say she didn’t disappoint. Her trademark thick dark eyebrows were completely on form and perfectly framed her smudged, smokey eyes, topped with a smouldering stare - a dramatic make up look that few could pull off as well as her. She did this by combining deep grey shades with a hint of silver and blending it up above her eyelid crease towards her eyebrows; this allowed us to get the full effect of this dramatic look even when her eyes were open. She lined her eyes with black to really define this feature. To top this, she opted for an iconic British classic: the bright red lipstick. This bold pop of colour looked incredibly sophisticated and glamorous, especially with her hair styled in loose, glossy curls, secured away from her face at one side to flame her face elegantly. Her cheekbones are also well defined to finish off Delevingne’s look with a hint of edginess.
Rub-a- dub scrub Kirat Sagoo provides us with an introduction to a proper cleansing routine
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ntil very recently, my skincare routine never really existed - but then I started developing blemishes where I’d previously never had them. So I decided to support my skin and focus on some dedicated exfoliation time (or spa time) to nip my dermatological dilemmas in the bud. My motivation? Clear skin. This begins with a couple of cleansers. To start off with, use a micellar solution to remove the surface layer of make-up using a standard cotton wool pad. The particular structure formed by the phospholipids in the solution means you can easily swipe off make-up, to let the cleanser do its job in the next step. Bioderma’s Micelle Solution is a cult favourite, as is La Roche Posay’s version. Both are really gentle and suitable for sensitive skin. Now onto cleansers and there are so many out there to choose from. Generally I’d steer clear of any harsh ‘scrubs’ and recommend oil or gel cleansers instead, as these would suit most skin types. Those with oily skin should not be put off by oil cleansers at all. They are very effective at cutting through all of the dirt and don’t leave a greasy residue behind. For acne-prone skin, Neutrogena’s Daily Foaming Wash has a high concentration of salicylic acid for those pesky comedones. On a slightly pricier note, I was impressed by Clinique’s new Take the Day Off Cleansing Oil which quickly dissolved my make-up.
“Your skin is an organ, so don’t go at it with the chemical equivalent of a cheese grater”
Apart from a good old rub-a-dub with the fingers, I personally don’t use any cleansing brushes. I know that the Clarisonic has been around for a while, and Foreo’s Lunar Mini brush is the new kid on the block. I say if they’re within your price range and work for you, then go for it - they can only help. My ultimate indulgent beauty product is a good mask and I have to say I’m dedicated to the Soap and Glory Fab Pore Mask and Peel. I use it twice a week as a mask and I find that it clears my skin without drying it out. For a less frequent and more intensive clean, Ren’s Glycolactic Radiance Renewal Mask has got a lot of attention. The lactic acid in this is instrumental in reducing signs of blemishes. For payday I have my eye on the Alpha H Pore Refining Mask with Vitamin E which I have had recommended to me. When you’re satisfied that all of the impurities have been lifted from your skin by the beautiful products above or ones of your choosing, always remember to add a little moisture. I like to use a Nivea Q10 Plus eye cream, followed by my Clearasil Blemish and Marks Treatment Cream which I apply directly onto any problem areas. Daily moisturisers that I would recommend for oilier skin types are the No. 7 Beautiful Skin Day Cream or the Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Gel, which both soak in and form a great make-up base. For normal to dry skin, try adding a serum to the mix, such as Odacite’s Clogged Pores Booster. I like to think of exfoliation as a regular twice-a week treat after a long day, and apply most products during bath or shower time. I also think it’s important to learn how my skin type reacts to different products. Beauty salespeople gasp when I tell them that I can’t possibly moisturise my whole face every day because I break out, but I know what’s good for my skin. The best piece of advice I’ve been given so far is to use gentle products. Your skin is an organ, so don’t go at it with the chemical equivalent of a cheese grater. Build up a little collection of spa products and enjoy using them.
22.arts
Monday 9 March 2015
The Courier
Arts Editors: Lucy Chenery and Becka Crawshaw Online Arts Editor: Jess Harman
Interview: Alexej Ingantow
Lucy Chenery and Luke Robson interview the Alexej Ignatow, producer for Rigoletto - a one-night-only performance at the Mill Volvo Tyne Theatre
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Holly Argent takes a look at the political side of art
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hroughout history the artist has always been at the bottom of the food chain – works the most hours, gets paid the least – and little has changed in the last century. It’s not gone unseen that there have been a growing number of artist union initiatives throughout the UK - and boy do we need them! Artistic labour is often exploited; in return for artwork, artists get ‘exposure’, ‘contacts’ and ‘experience’. Somehow through these non-monetary values we’re meant to pay rent, buy food and continue to make art. Wage and respect is not only a political issue but also a human issue and concerns artists in the same way as it does any other member of the public. A tweet by Artists’ Union England just after the Pegida/Newcastle Unites demonstrations in Newcastle city centre in February sparked a question: artists’ lives are on par with the wellbeing of people in other communities, but how valuable is an intersection between the artist and political action for concerns larger than the arts? Artists’ Union England’s tweet read “Brilliant 2,000 plus counter demo against Pegida in Newcastle”, accompanied by a picture from within the crowd of a flag saying ‘Newcastle is United’. Clearly marking their position as counter-Pegida, it makes me question whether such artist-focused groups have a responsibility for issues of mistreatment and injustice other than themselves. On Artists’ Union England’s website they say, “We aim to represent artists at strategic decision-making levels and positively influence the role artists play in society,” and “we aim to challenge inequalities in the art world”. The trade union launched May 2014 and membership as well as support has grown hugely since then. Art has always been inherently political but the type of politics has certainly changed. Right now it’s encouraging to see artists like Bob and Roberta Smith (the pseudonym for artist Patrick Brill) be an active presence in the drive for an arts education and culture sector that is accessible to all. Again, Bob and Robert Smith’s distrust in former education secretary Michael Gove (see his painted letter on timber to Gove from 2012) is certainly not hidden; there is no subtext, metaphor or meaning to this artwork – it is active protest. The concept of art is that it is open-minded, an ulterior way of thinking and most importantly a social commentary (however its not quite as ‘free’ as we initially think), and there is a reason why they fit the stereotype of the artist-activist. It could be seen to be in the artist’s job description (if there were ever to be one) to expose the weaknesses of a situation that needs to change. They have a privileged position in terms of holding a place where people of the public can voice – through creative means or speech – their opinions, without being persecuted. A recent project Ciara Phillips did with JD4M (Justice For Domestic Workers) shows just how the act of art production as a collective can be political and activist. In a screen-printing workshop led by Phillips, the group made banners for their campaign. They are still in attempt to gain relief from a ‘tied visa’ in which they endure low pay, poor working conditions, economic abuse and in some cases even sexual and verbal abuse, but cannot leave their job without fear of exportation. This is a prime example of how the making process can generate collective empowerment as well as a physical object that can help in protest and demonstration. Image: Holly Argent
lexej Igantow, the production manager of The Russian State Ballet & Opera House, was very happy to talk to me. Igantow began his company in Russia with his wife; unlike the normal role of a producer, he works with Russian state opera theatres and established institutions in Northern and Southern Russia, helping them to bring their shows over to the UK. He deals with “a ready-made product” which he helps transport, piece by piece, overseas. Rigoletto, performed by Theatre Komi, is a brand new performance that Ignatow and his company have pioneered to complete and transfer to the stage. Ignatow explained in simple yet precise words when I asked, “what do you do?”: “I make it happen”, he said confidently, calling himself “the glue that holds it all together”. He talks to various venues and makes sure everyone is on board and excited about the show. They also organise marketing and all the advertising and, at the end of the day, make sure everyone “comes out with a smile”. Asking him to sum up what he ‘is’ in one sentence was a challenge. “I am everything, whatever it takes I will do” was his response. I had never realised how much work production was; the company started the process two years ago, starting with contractual stages and marketing posters, half a year before they started talking to the press. I got the sense that being a producer lets you be with a production and watch it grow, Ignatow agreed. It is operational, managerial and financial; lets just say you need to be an all round multitasker. The nature of the tour is very fast paced. Ignatow explained that everyday flies by; you are on a different stage daily, setting up for the next show, some stages being well equipped and some being less so. He was impressed with Newcastle, it being their
third opera here, as it is full of a “great” atmosphere where the audiences are “really knowledgable”. In the Rigoletto press release Ignatow was quoted talking about opera being shown more in cinemas and on television - I wondered whether this was a negative thing. “I think we have to be very careful because it is a great thing getting someone interested in it, it is good its happening because people realise they want to see the real thing now” said Ignatow, “but it will never replace the actual live performance, experiencing the vibrations of the voice
and the musical instruments, it will never be the same. It isn’t a substitute, it’s a good introduction.” The show itself is an opera that you will rarely see on a regional level, explained Ignatow, it is a unique opportunity to see this show in an intimate venue. He reassured me that it is just as rewarding as Madame Butterfly and many well-known names in opera, and “just as challenging”. It is about a jester who has two facades, one being a clown for the count in his palace and the other a humble father at home where he is trying to keep his daughter a secret. Like any opera, it evolves into a tragic, heartbreaking story. Ignatow’s main aim for this production, aimed at all ages, is to keep it classical for all newcomers to give a traditional vision of opera. I finally asked him about tips for students who might perhaps want to dive into producing in the future. “First of all, believe in yourself ”, “run a fair institution, no matter what, this is what I am proud of ” and lastly, “do the things that you think are right, at the end of the day you are doing it”. A quick glance around the near-empty auditorium confirmed that I was the youngest person in the audience by perhaps half a century. Such was my inexperience with opera that it almost took me by surprise that they started singing in ‘Foreign’. This was when I noticed that some 15 meters above the performers dangled a LED screen providing curiously irrelevant subtitles. This presented a curious dilemma - do I hope for the best and watch the actors, or crane my neck skywards to follow what they’re saying? I eventually decided on the former. In hindsight, this was a mistake. The costumes were terrible, the set was shaky and the make-up was truly terrifying. The whole thing was basically a panto. I honestly couldn’t tell you what the story was about, or why any sentient human being would pay money to watch it.
Dancing in the dark Charlotte Maxwell takes a trip to Northern Stage to experience some musical cabaret
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Lyrical Dance Concert is a comedic, popmusical cabaret which shows itself in the form of a rather small stage, two female performers, a sound technician and a selection of what seem like random props. Knowing very little about this show before going, but having been told that it is exceptionally good, I was unsure of exactly what to expect. I could say the same for my friend, who I roped in to come on a little trip to Northern Stage at the last minute. Set in a closed, intimate space, with the audience sitting around small tables close to the stage, Gillie (one of the twosome and choreographer of the piece) starts off trailing through the audience and introducing herself, followed by her partner Ellie. They then broke into a silent dance routine to ‘River Deep, Mountain High’. This all occurred whilst they remained in front of their mics, with a hand jive feel to their synchronised movements.
“The show suddenly escalated into a requirement for audience participation, which I had not been expecting” As this number ended, the show suddenly escalated into a requirement for audience participation, which I had not been expecting (guess I should have done my homework). An amended version of the lyrics of Britney Spears’ number one, ‘Baby One More Time’, was given to each table. The lyrics reflected the moves of Britney’s dance routine from her 90s school inspired video, but remained in the same pentameter and intonation as the original track. I was more than happy to go along with singing Britney loudly with strangers (who hasn’t done that before?), but it the surprises were increasingly themselves known, in the shape
of Jay Z’s ‘99 Problems’. Let’s be straight here: I’m not a huggy person. So when Gillie picked me from the crowd to share my problems, I wasn’t expecting Ellie to come and hug me and whisper in my ear until the next victim was chosen. I can wholeheartedly say this is the first time I have had to hug someone in a play that I haven’t been in. I thought being audience member and being coaxed into being part of the set was uncomfortable (Reykjavik - go and see it sometime) but this was a whole new level of personal space invasion.
“I have never seen anyone do a dance routine while spending half of the track under a gold sheet” Aside from that awkward moment, the show went from strength to strength. Mariah Carey’s ‘Touch My Body’ and Tina Turner’s ‘Private Dancer’ were two audience-focused performances, but certainly humorous. I have never seen two performers deliver a dance routine whilst spending around half of the track under a gold sheet and dancing with audience members. This was something new and certainly entertaining for the theatre world. Other tracks of the night included ‘Tease Me’, ‘Hero’, ‘Mr Lonely’ (thankfully not the Akon version) and ‘Only You’ (unfortunately not The Flying Pickets version). The ladies closed the show by creating a music video including the audience that can only be viewed on their website by said individuals using a special password (I forgot to get this). Rounding off with the Arctic Monkeys and then playing out the night with some Whitney Houston certainly rounded off an odd, but entertaining and unusual piece of theatre.
The Courier
arts.23
Monday 9 March 2015
A song of sadness Grace Melville review Rachel Wagstaff’s adaptation of Sebastian Faulks’ Birdsong
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n a delicate and emotional retelling of Sebastian Faulks’ famous work, Rachel Wagstaff ’s Birdsong came to life on the Northern Stage. Having read the book in school I had an idea of events, but had forgotten the sheer amount of emotion in the story. I hadn’t brought any tissues and I wasn’t prepared.
get the reality and brutality of the situation, and the bomb and gun sounds soon reminded everyone of the true importance of what they were watching. No one will ever grasp the psychological state of the men who fought for their country at that time on those battlefields.
The theatre production did well to immerse the audience into the world of the World War I trenches - both the characters and those watching were dreading the next bomb raid or burst of shellfire. I had concerns that the transitions between time periods would leave the audience confused as to what part of the story was being told, but the cast handled these seamlessly. Birdsong is a unique story in that the present moment is set in the hostile environment surrounding the battle of the Somme and yet it flashes back to the love affair between the protagonist, Stephen Wraysford, and his married French lover Isabelle. In the play we meet a host of entertaining characters, and despite the subject matter many jokes are made - some darker than others, but nonetheless allowing for a lighter side to be seen in the events. It is these moments that allow the audience to relax to some extent and forget, for the time-being, the haunting battle scenes. Faulks, and no doubt the director, by no means wanted the audience to for-
Despite being set over a hundred years ago, the play (and the book it was based on) is undoubtedly relevant today. With the daily onslaught of stories about conflict around the world the thought of war is still very much on everyone’s mind. There is a moment in the play when a British and German soldier both find themselves trapped in a tunnel. In this moment they become friends and forget what they’re fighting for. This begs the question of the audience of what were they, in fact, fighting for? Even the protagonist states that “It has gone too far and now we cannot go back”. What are our British troops fighting for now? Have we too gone too far and have we also lost sight of what we were originally fighting for? This play is certainly not one for the faint hearted but it is one for those who wish to remember and understand this time in history. It was brilliantly acted and took each member of the audience on an emotional journey; by the end amongst the rapturous applause they were few dry eyes. I urge anyone to see this play when they can. It truly is brilliant.
“With the daily onslaught of stories about conflict around the world, the thought of war is still very much on everyone’s mind”
“The production did well to immerse the audience into the world of the trenches those watching dreaded the next burst of shellfire”
Reviews The Bad Seed: Theatre Royal
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UTS’ performance of The Bad Seed left us with some burning questions. Does ‘bad seed’ apply to something evil within the seemingly good and innocent individual? Rhoda, the eight-year-old who is so bright, charming and lovely that she can’t leave anyone’s heart cold, is eventually revealed as the real coldhearted one. Or is ‘the bad seed’ something that is inherited within the family? Christine’s blurred recollections suggest that the latter might be true. The performance, which took place at Theatre Royal, answered some questions while leaving me with others. How did they manage to be so natural and professional? This was the first time that I had watched a performance of theirs and I was left amazed.
“This was the first time that I had watched a NUTS performance and I was left amazed” I was watching with both interest and genuine surprise at the way that the actors seemed to have been born to play their characters. As well as the stellar choice of actors, the intimate atmosphere of the place made the audience feel more engaged with the story. In the second part of the story, when Christine realises that her daughter might have inherited ‘the bad seed’, she becomes desperate and hysterical. Yet the performance isn’t overwhelming or a test of endurance. On the contrary, the audience feels sympathy for Christine who goes through a tragedy that eventually leads to another one. Maria-Magdalena Manolova
The Source of Resilience: The NewBridge Project
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new solo exhibition by artist Sabina Sallis has just come to a close at The NewBridge Project. Titled The Source of Resilience, her works deal with a combination of issues relating to the environment and our feelings of attachment to it. Most importantly, the issue of sustainability is highlighted throughout, addressing the combination of two perhaps unlikely subjects - myth and permaculture. The exhibition was comprised of various mediums including beautiful and delicate abstract drawings, a wonderfully shot film, and mixed media projections incorporating drawings, photographs and moving images. The human and natural world appeared to intersect in these mediums, alongside her sound and sculptural work. One piece titled ‘Haptic Universe’ (2015) is a rotating projection that displays numerous moving images pieced together to present different reactions to apples on a tree. Based on the biblical story of Adam and Eve, it explores a variety of responses that might be experienced in relation to the apple: temptation, denial, caution and fulfilment. In doing so, it contemplates the possibilities of our own nature, as well as our interactions with nature itself. The focus of the exhibition is upon nature’s resilience and our own flexibility in agricultural systems. Permaculture is one example of this, used by Sallis to demonstrate positive environmental impacts of agriculture. Permaculture by definition learns from trialling approaches and the mistakes found in these, which leads to the frequent re-creation of its design in order to fit small-scale environmental necessities. The ability of a system to respond to this adaptability is down to our own endeavours to make it resilient. Permaculture as a
branch of ecological design has the ethos of working with, rather than against nature. It is in this way that the importance of compassion is emphasised, before being discussed further in Sallis’ film The Other We (2015). The film addresses the logic behind the adoption – or not – of sustainable behaviours, and how “we know in our heads that we need to use clean energy, but unless you have a real compassion for the earth it is very hard to be considerate towards it.” Evidently, the film suggests that sustainable behaviours are more likely to come from an attachment to and love of the land, whereby the beauty of nature activates our sensibility towards it. Therefore, that Sallis presents nature in such a beautiful way is important because it aims to activate our own sensibility towards it in her images. More importantly, our knowledge and understanding of nature can impact positively upon our attitudes towards it. Considering this, it is notable that Sallis undertook her project over the course of a year whilst staying on a community garden and farm named ‘Abundant Earth’. This participatory approach will have surely affected her own representations of nature in the exhibition. There is an emphasis throughout the exhibition upon the micro-politics of nature and caring for the small scale, not exploiting it with machines or chemicals. This position incorporates larger subject matters, through its emphasis on the importance of individuality. Our own capability to positively impact the environment means that individual power combined can make a bigger change. Thus an entire mental ecology is necessary for the resilience of nature, and as perhaps suggested, our society. Katie Silver
“Most importantly, the issue of sustainability is highlighted throughout, addressing the combination of two perhaps unlikely subjects: myth and permaculture”
thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierArts
Accessible arts Jennifer Hopps delves into the art of illusion
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o this week the dress illusion went viral on the internet. My Facebook newsfeed was full of people arguing over the colour, even changing their minds mid-comment, and no one seemed to agree: was it white and gold, or blue and black? (Incidentally I thought it was blue and gold - I just had to be awkward…) Apparently this mysterious dress is simply an optical illusion. If you see it as white and gold, your brain is assuming that the dress is reflecting a cold, blueish light. If you see it as blue and black, your brain is seeing the dress in a warm, white light (like sunlight). That the brain can deceive us like this scares me quite a lot – I’m sure many philosophers have had a field day with this, questioning ‘reality’, and I’m assuming psychologists have answered the question of why the brain can do this, but we can’t control our brain and ‘undo’ the illusion. It’s not only the dress that is an illusion which has gone viral – a few years ago everybody was raving about the spinning ballet dancer, who can change direction from clockwise to anti-clockwise (and vice versa) in the blink of an eye. Social media shared this as a test to see whether you use the leftside of your brain or the right-side – for example, if she was spinning clockwise, you were ‘mathsy’ and organised, whereas if she was spinning anticlockwise, you were ‘arty’. This is, apparently, all complete nonsense - but the illusion was still cool. Optical illusion artwork fascinates me. How someone can paint a canvas to look 3D I do not know, but there are a lot of very talented artists who have done it.
“You could walk over Kurt Wenner’s images, but your mind convinces you that you are teetering on the edge of a vertical drop” 3D street art takes this skill to another level. Kurt Wenner is an incredible 3D street artist who is inspired by Renaissance classicism – in one of his pieces, angels appear to be playing in an underground fountain, and in another men in the form of Greek statues are being sucked into a whirlpool as their city floods. You could walk over these images, but your mind convinces you that you are teetering on the edge of a vertical drop and one more step will sent you falling into a gorge or plunging down a waterfall. So there you have it. The art of illusion is that it can make our own brain deceive us – weird. I can’t explain anything I just wrote about, but I think it’s fascinating. And scary. Definitely scary. Sorry if this column messed with your mind…I’m going to be second-guessing everything I see for a very long time.
24.artsfeatures
Monday 9 March 2015
The Courier
Buried treasure
The Mining Institute on Neville Street, next to Central Station, is one of Newcastle’s lesser known architectural gems. Becka Crawshaw photographed this homage to the Gothic Revivalist work of Pugin and Ruskin
The Courier
Monday 9 March 2015
featuresarts.25 Jess Harman presents a potted history of the Mining Institute, its place in the city’s cultural landscape since its inception, and how it paved the way for higher education in Newcastle
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reviously described as a “Cathedral to England’s mining wealth” and one of Newcastle’s finest buildings, Neville Hall is home to the North of England Institute of Mining and Mechanical Engineers. This beautiful Victorian building is passed every day by people arriving and leaving the city as it sits just next to the Central Station, but few people ever venture inside.
“This beautiful Victorian building is passed every day people arriving and leaving the city, but few ever venture inside” Neville Hall houses an outstanding Victorian library amassed with large collections of notebooks, letters, maps, plans, drawings, photographs, books and reports covering over 150 years related to every aspect of mining. The rooms these pieces occupy are among Newcastle’s finest architectural treasures filled with impeccable stonework, exquisite carved stone, wood and paintings. The main library room occupies a beautifully decorated ceiling, a vast glass roof and furniture designed for the library in 1872. Not only does the building deserve attention for its prestigious architectural beauty and exquisite furnishings, and for being the largest coal mining library in the world with one of the best archives and collections, the Institute also reflects County Durham lad Nicholas Wood’s enormous contribution to mining science and engineering during the first half of the 19th century. In addition it can be credited to the expansion of education – the second floor was occupied by the professors of the College of Physical Science, which paved the way for higher education in Newcastle. Below the library you will find the Edwardian lecture theatre, modelled on the Royal Institution in London and constructed in deep red Cuban mahogany. Both this marvellous teaching room and the magnificent library upstairs were given to commemorate the contributions made by Nicholas wood which today provide an outstanding setting for public events and private study.
“These rooms are among Newcastle’s finest architectural treasures, filled with impeccable stonework and exquisite carved stone and wood” The Mining Institute, known worldwide within its field, is of great importance globally as within its walls lie the evidence of engineering excellence, the finest and largest coal mining library in the world and the greatest witness to the early industrial revolution which began with the use of coal as fuel over 600 years ago. The members of this prestigious collection have fanned across the globe to develop new techniques, materials and railways to carry their products to market. As a direct result the Institute has a cast collection of early and later railway developments as well as collections that cover iron ore, gold and silver mines from places all around the world. The institute today continues to contribute to the study of geology and mining as the collections now comprise perhaps the finest archive in the world in which to study the industrial revolution with its early members’ and their predecessors’ collected information from the rest of the industrializing areas of Europe. Further contributions include records of evolving technology that have enabled such bounds in evolving the nature of the industrial revolution. As a result the Mining Institute became a globally important organisation with members spread across the world.
26.filmfeatures features
Monday 9 March 2015
The Courier
Film Editors: Rosie Rosie Bellini & David Leighton Online Editor: George Smith
Take a trip to the biopic-tures
Pleasure Island
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Octopussy
f you’d only seen the Daniel Craig films, you’d be forgiven for thinking that the Bond films were a credible action packed franchise with more going for them than mindless violence and gratuitous copulation. In the 80s, however, mindless violence and gratuitous copulation was all the rage, hence why Roger Moore’s Bond films were just so appallingly satisfying. The worst but best culprit from Moore’s stint as Bond has definitely got to be Octopussy, a glorious train-wreck of a movie. Stupid name aside, Octopussy has a pretty serious story. Set in an era of Détente between the West and the Soviet Union, this is the story of a rogue Soviet General who plans to start World War III by detonating a nuclear bomb in West Germany and making it look like an accident. This would then allow a channel for a Soviet invasion of Western Europe. As far as Bond stories go, this isn’t as farfetched as some rich lunatic building a space station with a plan to kill the rest of humanity and live in space with his super-race, as in Moonraker, but it is treated in such a ludicrous manner that you can’t help but wonder how the fuck did this guy get to the top of his spying career?
With The Theory of Everything breaking hearts across the globe, James Francis Brittain WDNHV D SHHN DW WKH KLJKV DQG ORZV RI WKH EHVW ELRSLFV LQ ¿ OP
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he biopic, in its various forms, has dominated this year’s awards season. Birdman and The Grand Budapest Hotel aside, audiences and critics alike have enthusiastically received such films as The Theory of Everything, Selma, Foxcatcher, and The Imitation Game. To me, the lasting success of the biopic can be determined by the way in which it finds the balance between historical accuracy and entertainment value. Mr Turner, for example, while incredibly well put together in terms of correctness was somewhat lacking in terms of action - American Sniper on the other hand, appeared to fall on the opposite end of the spectrum. Of course, much of this depends on personal taste, and any attempt to
compile a list of the ‘best’ biopics must acknowledge this fact in some way. So, having said that, here are three of my favourite biographical dramas that find such a balance, films that I would urge you to watch – or watch again, if you have already. Goodfellas (1990) is perhaps my favourite film. It focuses on the rise and fall of American mobster Henry Hill, played by a gritty but roguishly charming Ray Liotta. Liotta’s performance, however, is overshadowed by the maniacal outbursts of Joe Pesci, The film’s strength lies not only in the acting of the leading trio – that is, Liotta, Pesci and Robert De Niro – but also in the precision of Martin Scorsese’s soundtrack; not one of the carefully selected songs is out of order with the film’s
chronological progression from 1955 to 1980. And although the film is relatively long, it cannot be said to waver in terms of action and entertainment. If the remark about The Godfather as three hours of men sitting down is true, then Goodfellas is what happens when such men decide to stand up. Downfall (2004) is a German film that depicts the last days of Adolf Hitler in his Berlin bunker as he struggles desperately to deny the growing certainty that the Nazis are on the verge of losing the war. The accuracy of the film’s production and plot give it a solid basis with which to present the events, but it is Bruno Ganz’s portrayal of Hitler which makes the film what it is. We have all seen the ‘Hitler finds out…’ parody videos, but I urge you to watch the original scene – the chilling tensions found in it are indicative of the power of the film as a whole.
“The biopic has to find a balance between historical accuracy and entertainment value” From gangsters and Hitler, then, we move seamlessly to Johnny Cash and Walk The Line (2005). Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon play Johnny and June and do so incredibly well. The musical numbers in the film are extremely well executed and are sung by the actors and the actors alone. The scene in which Johnny first auditions to Sam Phillips of Sun Records is one of the film’s best. On this occasion, it doesn’t match up to biographical fact – yet it speaks an emotional truth that is undeniably representative of Cash’s life, which is, at times, the beauty of the biopic.
Let her go, let her go
“The way he ogles Penelope Smallbone would be enough to :LWK WKH .HQWXFN\ SROLFH UHOHDVLQJ D ZDUUDQW IRU (OVD¶V IURP Frozen’s :LWK WKH .HQWXFN\ SROLFH UHOHDVLQJ D ZDUUDQW IRU (OVD¶V IURP a arrest, rrest, Simon warrant a harrassment Ramshaw looks looks at which superheroes would get arrested in the real world tribunal in the 21st century” ecently, Kentucky has garnered some un- many comic books. Super is the most shocking of off upsetting the Bond’s outfit choices are a massive detachment from the effortlessly suave Connery-era Bond; the epitome of Swinging London style and sensibility. One scene has Bond dressed as a clown whilst trying to defuse the nuclear bomb that’s causing all this hassle, while a bunch of kids laugh at him. In another he’s dressed as a fucking gorilla. And, oh yeah… did I mention that for some unfathomable reason the very Eurocentric plot takes a massive detour to India? Cue Orientalist tropes, Western messiahship and blatant casual racism. In one scene, Bond wins big at the Casino and tips the waiter with a wad full of rupees making the joking aside, “that should keep you in curry for a few weeks”. It would seem that in 1983, political correctness was a long way away - as was treating women as equals rather than as objects. Moore was 55 when this film was released, and you can tell. There’s something really uncomfortable about watching wor Rodge force himself onto all these lithe young females he comes across. The way in which he ogles and harangues Miss Moneypenny’s new assistant Penelope Smallbone (ahem) would be enough to warrant a harassment tribunal in the 21st century, and when he uses a hidden camera in Q’s office to zoom in on some poor girl’s tits, you can’t help but feel as if Roger Moore is embodying Laura Mulvey’s theory of the Male Gaze. The film is bad for so many reasons, but because we’ve come so far as a developed society, we have the liberty that the 1983 audiences didn’t have, in that we can acknowledge just how bad it is. When we laugh at the blatant bigotry of the hero, we are not laughing with Bond, we are laughing at him. We are appalled. We are shocked, but at the end of the day, this is a product of another time. If we were to condemn this to oblivion we would thus have to lose a hell of a lot of popcorn cinema of decades gone by. Jamie Shepherd
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expected attention for one of the strangest arrests in recorded history. That’s right, people; the fried chicken state is responsible for taking Frozen’s Elsa down the station, under charges of changing the weather to a dissatisfactory temperature. This has reignited an age-old debate: would superheroes be reprimanded by the authorities if they really existed? In today’s modern climate of constant superhero movies, it’s remarkable how many of the characters get off scot-free, despite the unprecedented amount of lives that have been ruined irreparably by the inconsiderate actions of the god-like beings. Take, for example, Superman in his latest outing, Man of Steel. At the close of the exhausting, overlong climax of the film, Supes takes on General Zod in hand-to-hand combat, proceeding to knock down the few buildings left. Earlier in the film, he ploughs Zod through a power plant for threatening his mother, likely causing a reactor meltdown, as well as attracting the gung-ho US military to Smallville so the rest of the aliens can throw tanks around like toys. And all Superman gets in terms of punishment is a cry of, “Are you effing stupid?!” from an embittered general. Not even a proper, frustrated F-word is thrown at him.
“Super’s The Crimson Bolt smashes people’s skulls open for pushing in line at the cinema; vigilante justice with a lug wrench” But that’s Superman, the most powerful being in the universe. How about looking at real-life? Well, we have the 2009-2010 sucker punch of Defendor, Kick-Ass and Super, all concerning ‘plausible’ heroes, i.e. people with serious mental problems who take the law into their own hands after reading too
the three, with the hyper-violent hero, The Crimson Bolt, smashing open people’s skulls for pushing in line at the cinema. A police investigation is formed against him, and, although fruitless, it taps into the contemporary fears of vigilante justice with a lug wrench. The Crimson Bolt is the closest thing we’ll ever get to poor Elsa in Kentucky. Of course, what is the real fun in seeing real-life
“Tony Stark, of Avengers and Iron Man, Man, is only a coke habit away from Robert Downey Jr. himself ” superheroes do stuff when we can watch Guardians of the Galaxy? Marvel’s newest superhero team are self-conscious alien outlaws, running from the intergalactic police for robbery, grievous bodily harm, disturbing the peace and messing around with gravity. What will happen when the Kentucky police see a racoon hanging around a tree? Will they blame and take them downtown for the latest bank robbery? Who knows? But not even the wholesome protectors of the earth, the Avengers, can be wholly innocent. True, they attempt to minimise collateral damage when battling the forces of evil, but what about their actual personalities? I bet Tony Stark is only one cokehabit away from Robert Downey Jr. himself, while Captain Steve Rogers is so painfully, offensively American that he isn’t too far
balance of the United Nations. It just takes a lot of effort to detain them, is all. So take heed, Kentucky police, if Elsa is as powerful as you fear, she might break out sooner than you think. Let her go (sorry).
The Courier
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Monday 9 March 2015
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‘Divorce is an abomination, marriage is for life’ - Walk The Line (2005)
The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (PG)
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fter a surprise box office hit in 2012 with The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, based on the novel These Foolish Things by Deborah Moggach, it is back again with a sequel The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. Despite holding the recipe for sequel success with the return of the star-studded casting, director John Madden (Shakespeare in Love) and screenwriter Ol Parker, the film is sadly lacking. The film sees the return of Dev Patel, the ridiculously likeable Sonny Kapoor and proprietor of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, who has burgeoning plans of expansion for retirement retreats as well as battling the preparatory events for his wedding to the beautiful Sunaina (Tina Desai). Sonny’s aphorisms on life and the tenuous grip his guests hold on living are hilarious; his oftenhistrionic acting is one of the best parts of the film, though the star of the show has got to be Maggie Smith as Muriel Donnelly, now Dev’s ‘right-hand gal’ and assistant. Her witty and cutting remarks make the film, reviving the narrative jumble of subplots with some perfect one-liners - she’s the one that kept me going when watching. I think the opening scene alone makes this film worth watch-
ing and can be particularly appreciated by British audiences, as she is utterly ripping some poor American for the cup of tea brought to her, which she deems ‘tepid nonsense’. We see how the hotel has become so popular there is only one room left, but two prospective guests in Lavinia (Tamsin Greig) and Guy (Richard Gere), who Sonny has pegged as a hotel inspector sent by the prospective American investors, arrive (though Guy insists he is a writer). Commence some amusing fawning over the silver-haired fox (or white-haired as he mostly is now), with Sonny terrified of offending Guy and practically pimping his own mother out to satisfy him. Unfortunately what lets this film down is the sheer amount of subplots going on. We have the engagement strife’s of Sonny and Sunaina; the will-theywon’t they love interests of Douglas (Bill Nighy) and Evelyn (Judi Dench), as well as Guy (Richard Gere) and Sonny’s mother (Lillette Dubey); Madge
(Celia Imrie) is struggling to choose between two rich men as her next husband, while Norman (Ronald Pickup) has inexplicably managed to take a hit out on his girlfriend Carol (Diana Hardcastle). Without a sequel book to guide them it is like the writers themselves didn’t know the purpose of this sequel, so simply decided to stuff in as many character dilemmas and hope the audience was too captured by the stellar cast and beautiful scenery to bother to give it much thought. Whilst admittedly The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel does provide a whimsical viewing for audiences, and it is pleasing to watch the meanderings of these veteran actors alongside the kaleidoscope colouring of India, it seems aptly named, as it is second best in every arena when compared to its fantastic predecessor. More like this: Quartet (2012)
It Follows (15)
Ida (12A)
The Straight Story (U)
,Q %UXJHV (2008) Hilarious but also pretty disturbing, this thrillercomedy starring Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson and Ralph Fiennes is a must-watch for anyone interested in an exploration of culture intertwined with violence and despair. After a ‘hit’ gone wrong, Farrell and Gleeson are exiled to Bruges in Belgium to lie low for a few weeks. It’s a strange premise for a film, and one that, I think, is pretty original. The dichotomy between the curiosity and wonder of Gleeson is set up against Farrell’s cynicism and utter despair. The beauty of the filming locations really adds to the atmospheric tension that dominates the film – so, even if violent thrillers aren’t quite your thing, there’s plenty of pretty things to look at.
Rebecca Dooley
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f you haven’t managed to process this abundantly obvious rule, a wisdom passed down through the groaning swathes of horror movies that treat it as law, then may the Lord preserve you: if you want to live, don’t have sex. It Follows rather hinges on the idea that the protagonists not only don’t realise that sex is awkward and sticky, but dangerous too. Go Clean Teens. Set in some rather edgy Eminem-style suburbs in Detroit, we watch as the plausible 19-year-old Kay (Maika Monroe) falls into the trap of testing the suspension of her new mysterious boyfriend’s car. Little does she know that hunky Hugh (Jake Weary) is carrying a little bundle of horror just for her. Kay finds herself eternally pursued by a strolling shape shifting demon that promises to turn her into an oozing human paperclip if she so much as lets it touch her. The only way to get rid of ‘it’ is to pass it on - by getting all steamy. For teen-horror, a genre desperately collapsing in on itself, this is a godsend. Any fan can recognise the tropes: black and white horror movies playing in the background, youth and innocence being not so youthful and innocent, peripheral vision scares (I actually love these). But these feel nuanced, innovative, because the director is fully aware of the clichéd history of this genre and will toy with your tender emotions. Be warned. But it’s the music (or should I say, noise) that makes this movie so delightful. Shrieking psycho strings and the eerie synthesiser funk from the Eighties conjure an atmosphere of nerves taught to the point of snapping. I like to think that this may be an end to the growing horror ideals that silence is tension. It Follows is one for the geeks. If you’re a horror fan, you can set up a bingo card of the deftly scattered homages seen in this movie. A labour of love, not of a director trying to extract cheap jumps from his audience, It Follows is a pervasive, haunting horror.
n Ida, a 2013 Polish drama film directed by Paweł Pawlikowski, a light is shed on the obscure post-war period in Poland; set in 1962, the film is seen through the lens of a young novitiate nun on the edge of taking her vows. However, she soon discovers a family secret that dates back to the German occupation of World War II. Anna, the young nun, became an orphaned infant during World War II, and was raised in a convent. Upon her prioress’ suggestion, she sets off to meet her aunt, Wanda Cruz, who is a promiscuous and alcoholic judge. She tells her that her real name is Ida Lebenstein and that she is descendant of a Jewish family who were murdered during the German occupation of Poland during WWII. Ida expresses her wish to find their bodies, which induces the pair to embark on a trip into the Polish countryside and back to the past to discover the dark fate of their family. Having won numerous prestigious Film prizes, such as the 2015 Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film, the Polish motion picture is truly an artistic masterpiece on many levels. Its cinematography stunned me from the very first scene for its entirely square format. In a lot of scenes, screenformat conventions are defied by the unusually empty spaces intentionally left on top or on either side of the frame to suggest either an invisible presence (i.e God) or reflect the empty lives our main protagonists lead. Moreover, the film is set in a partially faded black-and-white, which reinforces the subtle but sensible and visible devastation in the aftermath of WWII as well as Stalinism: the atmosphere is obscure, heavy, idle and feels dead. Just bear in mind that Ida does not intend to entertain you, but it will have you drowning in thought and reflection about the long-lasting, devastating impact of war on each of our lives.
More like this: Mama (2013)
More like this: Aftermath(2012) George Smith
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he Straight Story is one of the most inoffensive and downright adorable films I have ever seen - a story so heart-warming that it burns. It is almost un-recognisable as a David Lynch film as it has none of the disturbing intensity of some of his other films, such as Blue Velvet. It is based on the true story of Alvin Straight (Richard Farnsworth), a 73-year-old man, who travelled from Laurens, Iowa to Mount Zion, Wisconsin on a lawn mower to see his brother, who had just had a stroke. The five miles per hour transport was his only option as his vision was too poor to get a driver’s license and he wanted to settle the feud between him and his brother. On his extensive journey Al meets various people, and his life story is slowly revealed. Richard Farnsworth’s Oscar-nominated performance is brilliant as he successfully communicates Al’s stubbornness and regret along with his warmth of character and family values. His genuine portrayal is utterly moving in some parts, and in other parts comedic, resulting in a strong connection with the audience. One of my personal favourite parts of the film is how whenever Al spoke about his experience in the war, there would not be any flashbacks, just the sound of trench warfare overlaying his speech. This created a powerful effect as the visuals were left to the audience’s imagination. There is no real issue with this film (apart from one particularly rapid zoom), although one thing that stops it from being a 10/10 is that I am fifty years too young to appreciate it. It is a film about ageing and independence, so until I experience that I will not be able to fully relate and connect to it. However it is a thoroughly enjoyable film and the old people surrounding me at the cinema seemed to love it. More like this: Love (2012)
Ruby Nguyen
Emma Allsopp
When screenwriter Owen Wilson and his fiancée Rachel McAdams (and her family) travel to Paris, he finds himself mysteriously transported back to the roaring 1920s every night at midnight in a taxi full of enigmatic and mysterious personalities. He parties with figureheads of the Jazz Age of literature and art, including the likes of Ernest Hemingway, Salvador Dali – played exceptionally by Adrian Brody (“I see… a rhinoceros!”) – and Gertrude Stein, and becomes infatuated with a woman who longs to have existed in the 19th century. I can’t say too much more without taking away from the narrative, but it’s a must-watch and possibly, alongside Annie Hall, Woody Allen’s masterpiece.
)HDU $QG /RDWKLQJ ,Q /DV 9HJDV (1998) This one’s a hell of a ride. Literally. Based on the novel by Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is a drug-fuelled road trip starring Johnny Depp and Benicio Del Toro. The thing I love the most about it is the seemingly endless cycle of hallucinatory chaos, so strangely endearing that you can’t take your eyes off the screen. It’s not quite as linear in plot as the other two, but the characters and visuals do the novel justice while really capturing the essence of spontaneity, freedom and hedonism characteristic of similar works such as Kerouac’s On The Road, (1957) which was recently adapted to film in 2012. Except this one is far better than the Kerouac adaptation (I wouldn’t bother, to be honest). Fear and Loathing makes you want to get off your arse and drive off into the sunset and see what’s out there. Wherever that may be. Rhian Hunter
28.filmfeatures
Monday 9 March 2015
Oscars  roundup: White  blokes  and  bad  jokes Gong  hits
The  Oscars:  everyone’s  favourite  prestigious  ceremony,  in  which  the  nebulous  ‘Academy’  is  thanked  a  million  times  a  minute.  This  years’  was  hosted  by  the  wonderful  Neil  Patrick  Harris  and  ham- pered  by  a  laundry  list  of  crappy,  often  ill-Âjudged  and  occasion- ally  racist  jokes  -  with,  unfortunately,  The  Lego  Movie  being  the  butt  of  around  60%  of  them.  Film  Editors  Rosie  Bellini,  David  Leighton  &  George  Smith  take  a  look  at  some  of  the  crummi- est  puns,  awkward  moments  and  stupid  slurs  -  whilst  chomping  D EXFNHW RI FKLFNHQ DQG FKXJJLQJ EDFN WKH Âż QHVW ODJHU /RFR KDG to  offer
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The  Grand  Budapest  Hotel
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Birdman Â
4
Whiplash
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The  Imitation  Game
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Boyhood
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“Welcome  to  the  87th  Oscars.  Tonight  we  KRQRU +ROO\ZRRGÂśV EHVW DQG ZKLWHVW Âą VRUU\ brightest.â€?
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“Welcome  back  to  the  Oscars,  or  as  I  like  to  think  of  them,  the  Dependent  Spirit  Awards.�
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“The  subject  of  Citizenfour,  Edward  Snowden,  could  not  be  here  tonight  for  some  treason.�
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Introducing  Reese  Witherspoon:  “This  Oscar  presenter  is  so  lovely  you  could  eat  her  up  with  a  spoon.�
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Introducing  presenters  Idris  Elba  and  Jes- sica  Chastain:  “In  Long  Walk  to  Freedom  he  [Elba]  liberated  South  Africa.  In  Zero  Dark  Thirty,  she  brought  down  Osama  bin  Lad- en.  In  A  Million  Ways  to  Die  in  the  West,  I  pooped  in  a  hat.�
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“[John]  Travolta  will  be  back  next  year  to  apologise  for  all  the  face  touching.�
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“If  you’re  at  an  Oscar  party  with  the  people  from  The  Lego  Movie  [controversially  over- loked  in  the  Best  Animated  Feature  Film  cat- egory],  now  might  be  the  best  time  to  distract  them.�
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“American  Sniper  has  Bradley  Cooper  as  the  PRVW SUROLÂż F VQLSHU LQ KLVWRU\ ZLWK RYHU FRQÂż UPHG NLOOV 2U DV +DUYH\ :HLQVWHLQ FDOOV it,  a  slow  morning.â€?
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“[The  Best  Picture  nominees]  have  grossed  over  $600  million.  American  Sniper  alone  is  responsible  for  $300  million  of  that‌To  put  that  in  perspective,  on  this  side  of  the  thea- tre  is  the  seven  other  nominees.  And  Ameri- can  Sniper  is  Oprah.  ‘Cause  you’re  rich.â€?
10 ³7KH QRPLQHHV DUH IRXU ZRPHQ SOXV ¹ LQ DFFRUGDQFH ZLWK &DOLIRUQLD VWDWH ODZ ¹ Meryl  Streep.�
#AskHerMore
#OscarsSoWhite
#TheSoundOfMusic
Tired of fielding questions about what she was wearing, Resse Witherspoon asks for a more dignified line of questioning.
This hashtag emerged long before the actual ceremony but still remained so relevant throughout. Get your act together Hollywood.
And holy shit was it beautiful. Lady Gaga gave the performance and stunned the audience by actually being quite good.
Special  Award  To
Special  Award  To
Special  Award  To
John Travolta’s Wandering Hands: After the fabulous fuck-up of ‘Adele Dazeem’ last year, Travolta and Menzel took to the stage. Light was made of the previous flub but unfortunately there was no real catharsis as Travolta seemed to be unable to contain his limbs, repeatedly caressing and stroking the face of a woman who’s name he couldn’t even pronounce. #TopNotchTravoltaBants David Leighton
Sean Penn for his adorably ill disguised racist spew at Birdman director Alejandro Gonzalez IĂąarritu. Before presenting the director with the award of his life, sneered, “Who gave this sonofabitch a green card?â€? Fuck you Sean Penn, I don’t care if some reports claim it was a jest between friends - what kind of friend makes his friend’s biggest moment all about himself? Everyone still remembers the time you beat up Madonna. Arsehole. Rosie Bellini
Patricia Is-she-on-quette? Right Patricia, you did a great job at addressing the serious pay inequality between men and women across America but why did you then have to spew all over that? “It’s time for all the women in America and all the men who love women and all the gay people and all the people of colour that we’ve fought for, to fight for us now,� The fuccckkk? Gay people and people of colour don’t owe you shit, white feminists. Get on your bike. Rosie Bellini
The Courier
The Courier
featuresfilm.29
Monday 9 March 2015
Give ‘em the old Razzie-dazzle So the Oscars are over for another year, but fear not, for Holly- wood’s far superior evil twin is here: the Golden Raspberry Awards, or ‘Razzies’ as they’re better known. Film nut, Catwoman enthusiast or ‘Razzies’ as they’re better known. Film nut, and all-round connoisseur of kitsch and all-round connoisseur of kitsch Tony Velikova tells us why we should give a toss about Hollywood’s ‘other’ awards ceremony
H
ello, my name is Tony, I’m a tackiness and kitsch enthusiast and I love the Razzies. (Group: Hello, Tony.) Now that I’ve got your full attention, let me tell you why The Golden Raspberry Awards are still as great as they surely were when they were founded back in the 80s. Of course, it is true that when it comes to taste, everything and everyone has their own subjective thoughts and feelings on things. Does that even need saying anymore? Do we constantly need to say, “everyone can like what they like, so shut up!” ad infinitum in the 21st century still? This might come as a shock to you, Razziebashers, but if your ever-most-favourite-film gets nominated for one, no one’s holding a gun to your head and telling you to stop enjoying it. In fact, many Razzie winners have gained cult status, and
I for one enjoy looking for the ‘it’s so bad it’s good’ factor. The Razzies do that for me every year and for that I’m forever thankful. If you want to enjoy the Razzies, you just have to not take them all that seriously. The acceptance speeches, not many of which are immediately available, are always filled with very good-natured humour. And the tackiness? That’s the beauty of it. These awards are so selfironic that they strive to be exactly what they mock every year, they’re purposefully schadenfreudeheavy and even though the anti-establishment element might not be there anymore, I still don’t mind reading accounts and comments satisfying my endless curiosity to see whether someone else is just as mean as I am about movies I don’t like. They’ve been going steady for 35 years now and,
Worst Picture Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas Left Behind The Legend of Hercules Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Transformers 4: Age of Extinction Should win: Hard to choose from such an uninspiring bunch, however my vote goes for Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas. I remember when one reviewer compared it to a very advanced Power-Point presentation and that’s really all you need to know about it. Will win: Transformers, without a doubt. It’s already got two previous Razzie nominations, and one previous win.
Worst Actor Kirk Cameron: Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas Nicolas Cage: Left Behind Kellan Lutz: The Legend of Hercules Seth Macfarlane: A Million Ways to Die in the West Adam Sandler Sandler: Blended Should win: Nicolas Cage is a Razzie-veteran with five nominations and no wins, so we’re expecting him to be the lucky man of the evening - although Kellan Lutz and his delightfully horrible Hercules aren’t close behind. Will win: Either Kirk Cameron - because when you put your name in the title of the film that’s complete Razzie-baiting - or Adam Sandler, purely because he’s Adam Sandler.
Worst Remake/Sequel/Rip-off Annie Atlas Shrugged #3: Who Is John Galt? The Legend of Hercules Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Transformers 4: Age of Extinction Should win: I’m way too biased for this so I’m saying Atlas Shrugged, because there are many things one does to Ayn Rand and this is not one of them. Will win: Either Transformers or TMNT, depending on who grabs Worst Picture - this is the consolation prize
sure, maybe they’re getting a bit old, lazy, and capitalist. But then again, what isn’t these days? We all know there will never be another Showgirls, or another Wild Wild West. So maybe they are taking the safe shot, nominating another Transformers and Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler movie - and Michael Bay and Kirk Cameron’s movies aren’t ‘so bad they’re good’, they’re just, well, bad. I’m still going to watch what I can see of it and love The Golden Raspberry Awards, they’ve grown just like they should have and even if I’m following them and reading about them out of habit, I still consider them to be one of the best ideas that the film industry has had in the last fifty years. P.S. I still, and always and ever will, love Catwoman.
Worst Director Michael Bay: Transformers 4: Age of Extinction Darren Doane: Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas Renny Harlin: The Legend of Hercules Jonathan Liebesman: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Seth Macfarlane: A Million Ways to Die in the West Should win: Darren Doane. See previous. Will win: Michael Bay. See previous.
Worst Actress Drew Barrymore: Blended Cameron Diaz: The Other Woman & Sex Tape Melissa McCarthy: Tammy Charlize Theron: A Million Ways to Die in the West Gaia Weiss: The Legend of Hercules Should win: This hurts me but … Melissa McCarthy. Purely because she was butchered by that script. Will win: Cameron Diaz, purely because she should have stopped making movies like Sex Tape ten years ago.
Redeemer Award Ben Affleck: From Razzie “Winner” for Gigli to Oscar darling for Argo and Gone Girl Jennifer Aniston: From four-time Razzie nominee to SAG award nominee for Cake Mike Myers: From Razzie “Winner” for Love Guru to Docu Director of Supermensch Keanu Reeves: From six-time Razzie nominee to the critically acclaimed John Wick Kristen Stewart: From six-time Razzie “Winner” for Twilight to the art house hit Camp X-Ray Should win: Ben Affleck, because we love him. Will win: Ben Affleck, because the Razzies love him too.
30.tvfeatures
Monday 9 March 2015
The Courier
TV Editors: Helen Daly and Ellie McLaren Online TV Editor: Rebecca Dooley
Valar morghulis To celebrate the return of the incredible Game of Thrones, we asked our writers WR SXW WKHLU EHWV RQ ZKR ZLOO SUREDEO\ PHHW WKHLU VWLFN\ HQG LQ VHULHV ¿ YH
The Drinking Game
All men must drink
r Spoile! alert
Game of Thrones Season Five is just around the corner, and what better way to prepare ourselves for what is sure to be another violent, bloody visit to Westeros and Essos than with a shitload of alcohol? Here, James McCoull provides ten rules as a suggested guideline for how you and your friends can get pissed while your favourite characters are decapitated on-screen: 1. Before the episode starts, everyone makes two predictions: one character they think is going to die, and one method of murder they think will be used – beheading, fire, poison, etc (not necessarily on that person). If anyone’s guesses are right, they nominate someone else to take a shot. If their chosen character is killed with the method they described, they pick someone to down their drink. 2. Drink when the name of the actor or actress playing your favourite character comes up in the opening credits, and then every time they come on screen throughout the episode. If they die, finish your drink. If you cry, finish another one. Repeat until you feel better or can’t feel anything at all. 3. One drink per on-screen nipple - men’s too. Be careful with this one. 4. Every time a Stark is on-screen or mentioned for the first time in the episode, everyone shouts “The North Remembers”. The last one (or anyone who abstains) is a filthy Lannister and has to drink. 5. Drink every time a named character dies. 6. Finish half of your drink the first time Tyrion appears in the episode. 7. One tequila-and-tabasco shot the first time a dragon is shown in the episode (just a normal shot will do if you don’t have any tabasco, but some hot sauce will help you feel the heat). 8. All must raise their glasses/bottles/whatever to Daenerys whenever she comes on screen and shout “Khaleesi!”. Whoever shouts it the loudest is blood of her blood, and everyone else must drink. 9. Drink whenever Cersei Lannister pulls a disgusted facial expression. Again, caution is advised here. 10. Custom rules go here. Agree with your group on an extra rule you all like, or multiple. Or change them all - I’m just a newspaper article, I can’t stop you.
Brienne of Tarth: 20/1
As much as I don’t want Brienne to die, for that very reason I’d have to give pretty decent odds that she’ll be next in the line of casualties. We all love Brienne – if you don’t, sort it out. She’s absolutely mint. The female warrior, who, despite constant ridicule, always shows those who mock her on the basis of gender who’s boss. Alongside Cersei and Arya, Brienne is arguably the toughest, most independent female character in the series; with her strong sense of loyalty and a fiery temper, she’s just great all round. So why do I think she’ll die? Because I have lost faith in the idea that the good may, eventually, triumph. So many of my favourite characters (Drogo, Ygritte, Robb, Oberyn… just to name a few) have been killed off now that I’ve lost all hope that any good guys will even survive to tell the tale. I’ve learnt to suppress my love for the characters to save myself from the agony of their deaths. Game of Thrones has taught me that, in Westeros, honour does not supersede evil – just ask Ned Stark’s corpse. Rhian Hunter
Petyr Baelish: 30/1 Lord Petyr Baelish, possibly the sneakiest guy in the whole of Westeros. A man of ambitious master plans and endless allies. To the untrained viewer it would seem impossible that the master manipulator could possibly be slain, but I think not, and I have a prediction. My prediction is that poor ol’ Petyr will be murdered by his very own protégé, the one and only Sansa Stark. This may seem unbelievable to some, but I think that Sansa has more potential than she is letting on. She is the daughter of the fierce Catelyn Stark, and the sister of fearsome Arya Stark, so to underestimate her, like I believe Baelish is doing, would be a grave mistake indeed. Let’s face it, she is the only one who could kill Baelish. We’ve already seen him kiss her, so who’s to say there won’t be more twisted romance between the two? That would be the perfect opportunity for her. In the throes of passion with good ol’ Pete, Sansa would make her killer strike (a concealed knife, perhaps?) and that would be the end of Baelish. Then, having learnt all of his tricks, Sansa will become queen of the world. Emma Allsopp
All men must die: 100/1 It’s common knowledge that the Game of Thrones TV show is going to run out of book before long. Winds of Winter is long-gestating, likely not to come out until 2016 at the earliest, so I think David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have a strategy up their sleeve: initiate the ‘Valar Morghulis’ protocol. ‘All men must die’, and season 5 will start with Davos Seaworth finally reaching the end of his tether with Red Woman, Melisandre, killing her. This will prompt The One True King, Stannis Baratheon, to execute his loyal hand in rage, and in turn, the Bolton Army will take advantage of his weakness and attempt to crush Stannis. Everyone will kill each other in The Great Battle of the North, knocking down the Wall and letting White Walkers run over everything. Bran’s still up in that damn tree, so can’t do anything about it. Down in King’s Landing, Cersei will undoubtedly go on a rampant, drunken death warrant-signing, prompting Tommen to avenge his Tyrell wife and his gallant father/uncle. After overseeing his mother’s execution, he will then fall on his sword. No pun intended. In Essos? Well, there’s a volatile dragon swooping around the place, so, naturally, all will burn. Except Tyrion. But that’s wishful thinking. Simon Ramshaw
Also, as a bonus rule: for the series finale, double all the quantities. Have fun, stay safe, drink responsibly and remember: valar morghulis.
I should not have eye-balled that last tabasco shot. Damn you dragon.
Tommen Baratheon: 10/1 There are so very many reasons why this little lad is doomed. Firstly, he’s a sensitive soul who doesn’t seem to want to cause pain and misery to anyone. As we know, such people do not do well in Westeros. If you haven’t maimed or murdered anyone they will inevitably maim or murder you first. Secondly, and most importantly, he is now the king, and if the last four series of Game of Thrones have taught us anything, it is that occupants of (and, for that matter, claimants to) the Iron Throne don’t last for long. Much as it should be a morally reprehensible character like Cersei or Roose Bolton, nice guys finish last in the Seven Kingdoms. Lauren Hickin
Tyrion Lanister: 50/1 Right, bear with me for like five minutes. I know everyone loves Tyrion, and I am among those people. The show wouldn’t be the same without the only Lannister I like, but I’m coming to fear the worst for him. If you hark back a year to series four, Tyrion was in quite a bit of trouble - he was being blamed for Joffrey’s murder, he had just lost his wife, and ended by killing his own father, Tywin. So by Game of Thrones standards, Tyrion has plenty of reasons to die. On top of those, he’s also everyone’s favourite and therefore, has to die in the unspoken rules of Game of Thrones. I really hope I’m wrong with this one. My heart really doesn’t want Tyrion to die, but my gut tells me that he has to. I guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens to our beloved Lannister, but if I’m being honest, it doesn’t look too great for him. Stay strong Tyrion. Helen Daly
The Courier
highlightstv.31
Monday 9 March 2015
thecourieronline.co.uk/tv c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_tv
r Spoile! alert
TV Rewind
I Game of Thrones Sky1, Sunday, 9pm
S
hit is going down in Westeros. For those of you whom aren’t familiar with Game of Thrones, the phenomenal show will be returning to Sky for its fifth series in April. With new characters, sets, and storylines, this season is going to be the best yet. While the first couple of seasons stuck pretty closely to George R.R. Martin’s story, the show has progressed with increasingly deviant storylines and character changes taking place from season three onwards. Although this tends to enrage many fans of the books, the interweaving of the parallel time-frames of A Feast for Crows and A Dance with Dragons has allowed for a revamp. However, the universal joy, or lament, that befalls fans of Game of Thrones is
the complete mind-fuckery that occurs again with our blossoming love for characters that we know, deep down, are probably going to die. Millions of hearts break worldwide when Game of Thrones is back on our screens. That’s powerful stuff. The Purple Wedding, the Mountain vs. Oberyn Martell, Brienne vs. the Hound, and, quite possibly the most shocking death as of yet – Tyrion Lannister’s murder of his tyrannical father Tywin. That’s just a few of the shockers boasted by season four - quite the feat considering Martin’s propensity to kill off all of our favourites. The battle at the Wall stayed true to form of the previous boneshaking penultimate episodes that included Ned’s execution and Khal Drogo’s demise, the Battle of the Blackwater and the Red Wedding. Meanwhile, Daenerys’ antics across the narrow sea reached a climax with the danger posed by her dragons becoming apparent. Arya’s set sail for Braavos; Sansa is practically imprisoned at the Vale with creepy Littlefinger; Bran, Hodor and Meera survive an at-
First Dates
tack of the wights beyond the wall and are FINALLY led to the mysterious three-eyed raven; Cersei’s left to rule in place of her father and on behalf of the boy-king Tommen. So season four left us with a hell of a lot of questions; and in typical George R.R. Martin style, we’re gonna have to wait for answers. But in the meantime, we’ve got a few new characters making an appearance, such as Prince Doran Martell, Oberyn’s three bastard daughters, known as the Sand Snakes, and a couple that have been bumped up to main cast status – Daenerys’ right-handwoman Missandei and new love interest, Daario Naharis. For major storylines, it’s been implied that Jon Snow is going to feature heavily throughout the upcoming season, as well as Arya and Cersei coming to the forefront of events. I’m hoping for a large helping of plot twists and turns scattered throughout, and an earth-shattering penultimate episode. And I don’t think I’ll be disappointed. Rhian Hunter
The People’s Strictly
Channel 4, Friday, 10pm
Bluestone 42
BBC1, Wednesday, 9pm
I
was initially quite excited to review this show - on the face of things, it looks rather interesting. Two people meet in a restaurant for their first date, with cameras to capture all their awkward moments. However, having sat through an episode, I can advise you to steer well clear of this show. Nothing happens. Nothing. It is like watching paint dry. The problem is that the people featured in the show aren’t given much of a chance to endear themselves to the viewer; at best, couples may have about five minutes of airtime. You’re supposed to root for these people, hope that they find their true love with the person who’s just about to walk through the door, but nope, you’re just left feeling cold. There are some regulars (who can’t get dates) like cheeky chappie Terry, whose womanising ways have led to his dates falling flat. It’s the sort of dirgey Friday-night filler you’d expect from Channel Four; in fact the only people who’ll be watching it are singletons who have no friends or lovers to go on a night out with. Even if you don’t drink this programme would make you want to grab your coat and endure being in the likes of Gotham or the O2 sober (don’t try it, please). Even the most romantic part of me can’t get excited about First Dates because it’s just so pedestrian, but perhaps that’s just like quite a few first dates many of us have had. Overall, my first date with First Dates was a bit of a let down, and I won’t be seeing them for a second. Jack Parker
S
o finally, after 10 years of watching celebrities struggling to move themselves across a dancefloor without falling over, Strictly Come Dancing has opened its doors to the public. In aid of Comic Relief, six Muggles have been selected to take part in the competition. But these aren’t ordinary Muggles, oh no. The contestants are all super-fans, nominated by friends and family and selected ‘for their tireless and selfless work which has helped change so many lives for the better.’ So really, they’re rather special. First up is Philip, who set up a charity to fund children’s theatre, which has since staged over 70 productions and raised £2 million. Next is Trishna who, after being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, has worked tirelessly to raise awareness for the condition, and Michael, who raised over £300,000 for meningitis charities after losing his son to the disease. They are joined by Anna, a woman who set up the UK’s largest school for autism after her autistic sons were turned away from mainstream education, and Heather, whose supportive charity for intensive care patients and their families was created following her own near-death experience. The line-up is completed by Cassidy, a medic who lost part of his leg due to an incident whilst serving in Afghanistan, and has since lent his support to his colleagues in rehab. The series will see these incredible people learning to dance with their professional partner, helping themselves to a vat of fake tan and getting all glammed up, all while helping raise even more money for a great cause. Chloe Carroll
BBC Three, Monday, 10pm
B
luestone 42 is back for a third series, detailing the lives of the Bluestone 42 bomb disposal squad in Afghanistan. Considering all the high-octane war films out there you might expect the soldiers’ lives to be centred on escaping death at every turn. Fortunately Bluestone 42 is not like this in the slightest. Instead, we get Millsy’s weird obsession with board games, Faruq the interpreter trying to sell contraband that ranges from gold-covered guns to goats, and Mac and Rocket who are so disgusting they start up crab races…with their own pubic crabs. It has its serious moments: as soldiers in a war zone, there are firefights and mortar attacks. Also, considering they are a bomb disposal squad, there is a lot of tension in the moments they attempt to defuse a bomb rather than let it explode. Yet somehow they still manage to keep the situation hilarious without taking away from how serious it is, such as the occasion where their bomb disposal robot is stolen mid-job by some giggling locals on a scooter and there’s nothing they can do about it. However, the last series did ended with the squad hitting a mine with their van – a shocking moment that reminded us of the reality of their situation. Hopefully, given its back for another series, we can assume the squad are okay. Important point: It’s also got Neville Longbottom in it. He’s now really good looking and you don’t want to miss him with his shirt off.
Tria Lawrence
Saved by the Bell
f you are old enough to remember, or can remember the endless repeats during the late 90s and early 00s, you will be able to remember the brilliant Saved by the Bell. For anyone who has lived under a rock for the last 25 or so years, Saved by the Bell was a teen sitcom set in an all-American high school, the show was extremely light-hearted.
That being said, let no one say that the show didn’t cover serious issues such as drug use, driving under the influence, homelessness, remarriage, death, women’s rights, and environmental issues. Somewhat ironically, the show’s legacy has been overshadowed by the allegations surrounding the cast and their hedonistic drug use during their times on the show. Perhaps that was a tad hypocritical of the show, and it has significantly cracked my rose-tinted spectacles. But forget about those minor indiscretions for a moment, most children’s and teens’ TV shows have some sort or hidden past - what probably distracted a lot of people from this shady televisual underworld was the fact that Saved by the Bell was so bloody good, and let no one tell you otherwise. I probably mindlessly sat through a season each and every day after school, gawping away at whatever Screech, Zack, Slater and Jessie, as well as those other ones were doing this time.
“I really did feel like I was growing up with the cast and their characters.” The show was pretty much formulaic, 101% of the action (sorry, not sorry, maths students) took place in the corridors of Bayside High, and a lot of the action seemed to focus upon the love lives of our young students, for example, Zack liked Kelly, they had an on and off relationship, but sometimes she broke up with Zack and went for Slater, nightmare! Basically, not much really happened during a lot of the episodes, it was just the gang goofin’ around with their principal, Mr Belding, who genuinely cares for the characters he presides over. This show made the entire cast national and international stars - they were the biggest names in TV between 1989 and 1993, and there were numerous spin-offs that came as the gang graduated high school and moved on to bigger things (and educational institutions).
Even though I didn’t watch Saved by the Bell when it was first broadcast, I did watch it in chronological order, as if it were being broadcast as-andthen, so I really did feel like I was growing up with the cast and their characters, as if they were older siblings’ friends. The show is part of the fabric of American TV history, quite literally actually, as the set of the school was never disposed of completely after the show stopped production. It’s been used and redressed for other school-set sitcoms, such as Disney’s That’s So Raven and iCarly. The repeats also live on, the show has not really died and neither have our memories of it - or our own memories of high or secondary school, for that matter.
34.music
Monday 9 March 2015
The Courier
Music Editors: Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly and Chris Addison
2015
LAD Free Musical Express Grace Brown questions the misogyny behind the line-up of British music festivals
R
eading and Leeds Festivals added another wave of fifty acts to its lineup last week (The Libertines, Everything Everything, Swim Deep, Frank Turner… the list goes on) but many have noticed a developing theme. Festival Republic seem to have forgotten that women exist. Out of almost a hundred acts due to play the festival, only nine of them include women. In an interview with The Guardian, Melvin Benn, the boss of Festival Republic, denied the suggestion that female artists were being sidelined at festivals. He claimed that the historic lack of opportunity for young women to get into bands has ‘disappeared now’ and that, for him ‘it’s never been about the gender of the band, but about the quality of the band.’ This argument of meritocracy is a noble one, but it’s also one that’s consistently employed to shut down feminist arguments in favour of more female representation. It’s also one that, in this case, falls flat. To say there aren’t any female acts of quality at the moment is totally wrong.
“Women musicians rarely have their talent taken as it is and are often overlooked by engineers during soundchecks, objectified by crowds, and taken as nothing more than tokenistic sex symbols”
Over the past few months music made by women has been some of the best around. Riot grrrl idols Sleater Kinney have been wowing with their comeback shows; FKA Twigs has been going from strength to strength after releasing LP1; Bjork, St Vincent and Cate le Bon have all released stellar albums; even indie favourites Florence and the Machine and Laura Marling have come back with a bang. All of these female artists are doing truly innovative and interesting work, yet the Reading and Leeds line-up this year is full of faded and aged acts who’ve been to the festival many times before; for Metallica and The Libertines, two of the headlining acts, it’ll be their third time on the main stage.
“The Reading and Leeds line-up this year is full of faded and aged acts who’ve been to the festival many times before” It isn’t just Reading and Leeds showing a depressing, and frankly unsurprising, lack of diversity and representation. Pretty much every festival on the circuit is dominated by men and the problem doesn’t just lie with promoters. From every age and every part of the musical process, women and girls feel discouraged from participating in music as anything more than a fan. Women musicians rarely have their talent taken as it is and are often overlooked by engineers during soundchecks, objectified by crowds, and taken as nothing more than tokenistic sex symbols by the music presses. The biggest of these music presses (NME and Rolling Stone… I’m looking at you) feature cover after cover of the same stale and male bands as the pinnacle of musical talent, whilst women are largely expected to stay in the pop world. Festivals cost hundreds of pounds yet feature the same boring line ups time and time again. Whilst there are fantastic alternatives showcasing a far wider range of talent, until the big names on the circuit catch up and there’s a real shift in the entire industry the only people losing out from such homogeneity are us, the fans. Frankly, we deserve better.
Shock news hit the headlines when it got out that the NME was going free. Sophie Ahmed explores what this means for the future of music journalism in the UK
L
ast week, reports that the controversial music mag NME would become a free publication were definitively dismissed as ‘wrong’ by a spokesperson. Nonetheless, these rumours have sparked a debate surrounding the future of music journalism and the implications of one of few surviving printed magazines in the industry being handed out to fans for no charge.
“I can’t help but make a link between the name ‘NME’ and the 2000 film Almost Famous’s depiction of all music journalists as ‘enemy’ to the artist”
Obviously one of the main reasons why the NME would drop its cost of £2.40 is that it has recently suffered a decline in its physical readership due to two factors. The first of these is the rise of the digital age which has brought a wave of online opposition including Pitchfork and The Line of Best Fit. Music lovers can easily find the latest reviews of almost any album circulating Twitter, a social networking platform which the NME hasn’t quite got the hang of yet. This weekend they tweeted the riveting headline, ‘Noel Gallagher on Alt-J: “One of them’s got a moustache, and that’s unacceptable”’ about two artists that no one really cares about at the moment, a sign that the magazine is currently failing to live up to its name as the NEW Musical Express. When I checked out this week’s NME I was actually surprised to find majestic rockers Royal Blood on the cover, because although this is at least the third time they’ve been on it, there was no mention of the Arctic Monkeys and sadly no photograph of Alex Turner’s quiff (I’m convinced he pays them to advertise it, which would perhaps save the NME
from bankruptcy if they were to go free). Do not despair though, as this week’s edition does include an interview with The Vaccines which must mean that someone has actually listened to them since 2011. Due to human nature most people do love a freebie, and therefore forcing the NME upon us without cost may guarantee a following of highbrow and cultured music fans who would otherwise shun the magazine’s poor and inaccurate reporting. I can’t help but make a link between the name ‘NME’ and the 2000 film Almost Famous’s depiction of all music journalists as ‘enemy’ to the artist. This label was best lived up to by NME’s very own Mark Beaumont when he rated Tom Odell’s 2013 debut Long Way Down a 0/10, comparing the singer-songwriter to ‘musical syphilis’ and wishing for the existence of ‘a place in Hell reserved for Tom Odell’. First of all, it’s an album – get over it. And secondly, we all know that Tom Odell is annoying but the very fact that he produced a record before the age of 25 secures him 5/10 in my eyes. I highly doubt that a free NME magazine would alter the musical landscape in any way. After all, this is the magazine that placed Nigel Farage and Taylor Swift in the same category at
their annual awards ceremony, and teenagers only ever bought it to cut out pictures of bands for their bedroom walls anyway.
Interview: Peace
Tim Hardy sat down with Peace ahead of their three date sell-out show at The Cluny
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here was a lot of hype after you brought out your first material. Did you see that as a distraction? Harry: It spurs you on. We were quite confident and it’s like, you respond to it. Dom: It felt quite deserved as well. I don’t want to sound like an
arrogant prick but we had worked hard at that to be too cool about stuff. In this new record we let point so when people started being like ‘Oh, this ourselves get a bit more infected by our influences, band should make some records, they might be and any song on it I can name three other songs quite good’ we expected it. that were influential to it. But there’s nothing from Harry: Me and Dom had been making music any sort of indie music, I wasn’t really listening to together years, like 5 years. You start off just play- indie music the past few years. ing in a garage, it’s a reAre there any themes ally slow process but you running through the al“I’d like to think we could do know, it wasn’t Peace in bum lyrically? the beginning. But it’s all anything. There’s some stuff on Harry: Not really running part of it. through the album. There’s [At this point guitarist the new record that’s really not a few… a bit. I guess the Douglas enters the room album’s a bit of a fucking very indie at all” holding a bottle of grim bigger look at everything, at looking vodka. Cue everybody demanding to know the big picture. The last album was focused on bewhy he’s got it] ing a teenager and chasing girls whereas this one’s Douglas: This guy was like: ‘Yeah! Do you re- a bit sort of… member last time at Gotham Town you bought a Dom: Being a young adult and chasing girls. bottle of this and drank it all?’ No! And then he Harry: I still can’t ever put girls in nightclubs was like: ‘well, here you go mate’ as a gift. And and shit. It’s been the bane of my life. I’m never he’s got loads of photos of us all hanging out going to ask if they want a drink, they don’t want together… one and… well I’m not buying you a drink. I actuYou’re in a relatively small genre com- ally asked our manager for advice, I was just like: pared to big commercial, chart music. ‘What do you fucking say?!’. And she said: ‘Right, Does that sort of thing frustrate you? all you have to do is look at them all night, don’t say Dom: Not really bothered. It’s the way it a word and then at the very end of the night go up is. to them and say: ‘Drink up, we’re going.’’ Harry: I dunno, I’d like to think we could Ever tried it? do anything. There’s some stuff on the new Harry: I haven’t tried it, but she said it would record that’s really not work on her. “I can’t ever pull girls Ever heard of shag, marry, very indie at all. Was that a conscious in nightclubs and shit. kill? We were thinking Liz effort? Did you listen to Lawrence, Rae Morris or Ellie the first record and try to It’s been the bane of Goulding? think of ways to change? Dom: Interesting… my life!” Harry: Yeah, you go around Harry: I can’t answer this! I feel listening to stuff and it naturally happens, you like it’s a bit too close to home. Absolutely no way just decide you want to do stuff. I was play- I’m answering that question. ing ‘Breath’ by Prodigy in a DJ set and thought Dom: Do another one! I can probably tell you fuck it, that’s going on. Then when we got into the now I’d kill Ellie Goulding, she annoys me a bit. studio we had an idea for a song with a Prodigy Dom: I’d marry all of them. And then kill them. drumbeat which was like... [Makes manic drum- Harry: That’s a fucking standard weekend for you ming noise] and we just did it. We’re never trying mate.
The Courier
music.35
Monday 9 March 2015
thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_music courier_music
The Race for Space
Electronic Blanket
Public Service Broadcasting
Max Palmer-Geaves chats Ghostpoet’s new sound and African- American history in sampled recordings Electronic goings on: Ghostpoet
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ublic Service Broadcasting were one of clever lyrics to make a song. You can use archive those bands that I had heard about, kind of material for that. If you’re looking for something to milling around in the background making sing along to, Public Service Broadcasting is maybe some beats. It was only recently in February that not your bag, but if you’re looking for some funky I encountered them fully in the flesh when they beats and music that actually makes you think, defsupported Kaiser Chiefs on their UK tour. As I initely grab yourself a copy of The Race for Space. was stood watching these two guys making this Title track, and first on the album, The Race for strange electronic music with a weird kind of Space is a moving and rousing explanation of why didactic message woven throughout and a front Public Service Broadcasting chose the concept of man who only spoke to the audience through his ‘space’ for their album. “We choose to go to the computer, I couldn’t help but wonder what I was moon, and do the other things, not because they listening to. easy but because they “In a world of floppy-haired, are When I got home after are hard” lays out their guitar-wielding crooners, motto for making music; the gig, I found myself instantly googling them to don’t make easy muPublic Service Broadcasting they see if that’s what they alsic. In a world of floppyways do or if they are one are going against the grain and haired, guitar-wielding of those bands who excrooners, Public Service doing something diff erent” periment with a different Broadcasting are going sound on every album. It turns out that this surreal against the grain and doing something different way of making music and playing live shows with- and challenging; their music embodies the theme out ever directly speaking to the audience is Public of searching for new worlds perfectly. Service Broadcasting’s ‘thing’. Their website details Now it’s not all serious and thought-provoking their mission to ‘Inform-Educate-Entertain’ (inci- tracks on the album; ‘Gagarin’ comes at you loud dentally the title of their first album) is absolutely and proud and I defy anyone not to dance, or at least fitting. Yes, they use old public service broadcasts tap a foot, along to the catchy guitar riff and funky and news reports as the ‘lyrics’ to their music so trumpets. Much is the same with ‘Go!’, a stomping there’s the educational crux, but is it entertaining? song which conveys driving pace through the conAbsolutely. stant rising and falling drive throughout. I soon found myself pouring over their back cataI like Public Service Broadcasting; they’re not logue and their new album, The Race for Space and afraid to do something different and I fully engage discovered that I actually loved what I was listen- with that. The Race for Space is a concept album ing to. Public Service Broadcasting are a refreshing which really works; their music is so strange and band who flip what you think music is on its head. new that it really feels like it’s pioneering, just like They prove that you don’t need super witty and those who went to space for the first time.
Chasing Yesterday Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds
T
hree years following the release of his selftitled debut, Noel Gallagher announced the forthcoming release of Chasing Yesterday. Amongst much speculation on how he may switch up his sound, along with talks of saxophones and the phrase ‘space jazz’ being thrown around, upon first listen one wouldn’t be wrong to feel disappointed. The so-called “space jazz” appears as a lazy saxophone outro to album opener ‘Riverman’ which has an intro sounding remarkably like that endof-the-night shout-along ‘Wonderwall’. ‘The Right Stuff ’, the mid point of the album that draws the tempo to a yawning halt contains similar sax instrumentals - in essence a poor attempt at postOasis diversification. For someone so outspoken on the lack of exciting guitar music in the industry, tracks such as ‘The Girl with X-Ray Eyes’ and ‘The Dying of the Light’ (formed from Noel’s same old dependable chord sequences) don’t particularly show him making much of a difference himself, but could equally entertain an arena full of latethirties donned in bucket hats and Pac-Jac reissues. ‘Lock All The Doors’, a song originally written in 1992 and recovered from the archives is a light within the darkness of the dull fillers that Gallagher could have written in his sleep. This track is an evident seed for the growth of the ‘Morning Glory’ era that has finally seen the light of day. ‘You Know We Can’t Go Back’ blends effortlessly into ‘Ballad of the Mighty I’ through a delayed rolling piano. Accompanied by the magic touch of Johnny Marr solos this track is unfortunately a little too late. Although Noel’s second attempt hasn’t really stretched a long way from his first effort, expecting much more from the guy is probably unfair – he’s not the one we should be looking at to revolutionize guitar music, he has more than played his part. Tom Ardron
We Slept at Last Marika Hackman
More than this Avalanches -Since I Left You A forgotten Australian gem from back in 2000. Like The Race for Space this record uses samples from vinyl LPs spanning everything from Francoise Hardy to Madonna. From the luscious ‘Since I Left You’ to the plain nutty ‘Frontier Psychiatrist’, this is an album that deserves to be rediscovered. Warm Digits - Interchange Another concept album involving a less cosmic method of transport, this is Warm Digit’s homage to the beloved Tyne and Metro system. What follows is a sweeping assault of relentless synths and a driving soundscape. Tracks such as ‘The Connected Coast’ and ‘Tyneside Electrics’ owe a hell of a lot to pioneering krautrockers Neu, James Murphy’s LCD Soundsystem and Faith era The Cure.
Aureate Gloom of Montreal
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t was a late night Radio 1 show that first made me aware of the bleak and melodic dulcet tones of Marika Hackman. Since then I have been mildly obsessed with her four track EP, That Iron Taste (produced by Thom Green of Alt-J fame), and I have eagerly awaited We Slept At Last, which has not disappointed. As an album, it is a coherent and unfaltering mix of intricate guitar lines and beautifully dark vocal arrangements. Opening track ‘Drown’ sets the tone for the album, alternating between a fairly upbeat acoustic guitar riff and a haunting refrain. This is the set formula for the album, as Hackman drifts between mellow and slightly more upbeat songs. The transition between ‘Before We Sleep’ and ‘Ophelia’ is a perfect example of this, yet throughout her voice keeps its rich tone which is perhaps at its best on the melodic lullaby ‘Claude’s Girl’. The album then excels with the standout track ‘Animal Fear’, which is more upbeat and incorporates a number of different percussion effects and Hackman’s clear vocals. From here, the album winds down and becomes darker, before finishing with the wandering guitar line of ‘Let Me In’. Marika Hackman has released one of the best albums of the year so far. Her talent on the guitar shines and lyrically it is flawless and interesting as she traverses the theme of sleep and insomnia rather than falling into the oversaturated love-struck singer-songwriter category. Hackman’s individual sound can only be described as a combination of Lana Del Rey’s vocals and Laura Marling’s guitar. What is certain is that We Slept At Last is a beautifully haunting album, but perhaps not one for the light-hearted.
of Montreal’s frontman Kevin Barnes has said that the band’s latest release Aureate Gloom is heavily influenced by the late-1970s New York music scene. Looking at this era of the Big Apple musical history, Barnes said that they have put the spirit of bands such as ‘Max’s Kansas City, early days of CBGB and Television and Talking Heads’ in to the album. With name checks like these, of Montreal’s new album sets high expectations. Listening to the album, it’s surprising that nobody from the band mentioned Patti Smith and her debut Horses, one. There’s comparisons to be made between Patti’s gasping vocal style and Barnes’ on ‘Aluminium Crown’, daintily singing ‘I’ve been hurt by troubled dreams’, before hurling in to a blistering band backed verse, then stooping back in to the melancholic drooling about haunting dreams. Aureate Gloom isn’t all retrospective, however. ‘Monolithic Egress’ is imbued with fresh, garage fuzz and psychedelic guitar solos, backed by cosmic synths, before the jagged riff towards the end of the song blares. ‘Empyrean Abattoir’ possesses its own contemporary coolness too. With dreamy guitar arpeggios, and Barnes’ sighing vocals singing ‘I’ve been trying to quell my anger and not be bitter about all the darkness you gave’. Its first half seems to pay homage to Elliot Smith, then rages in to a punky development and pronouncing, in true Television spirit ‘Now it’s just a system of attraction’. There’s no denying the angsty, poetic lyricism that comes from of Montreal on Aureate Gloom. For a thirteenth album release, of Montreal have kept the lineage of American rock music very strong. They have honoured their New Yorker heroes, while proving themselves worthy to honour the majestic names they mentioned.
Finlay Pelling
Connor McDonnell
Ghostpoet is back and he’s changed it up for his third album Shedding Skin. There has been a definite change on Ghostpoet’s latest release, the electronica infused sound of his previous two albums has been let go in favour of a more stripped back setup of guitar, drums and pianos. It’s almost as if he’s Shedding Skin (see what he did there). The result is fantastic. His classic insomnia infused, monosyllabic observations are still very much present, only now they are wrapped up differently. The result is that now his eloquent mutterings come across not as negative barbs, but as cuts of wisdom from a man who is willing to stare into the abyss and watch it stare right back. As an artist Ghostpoet will always sit on the fringes of the underside of pop; a perfect setting in which to release what is arguably his finest effort to date. The current fashion is for note perfect songs, so to release an album with more of a live feel to it is fantastic and hopefully others will follow his example. There’s a real palpable depth of feeling to the new recordings, which is difficult to capture without getting your guitar out and playing a few bum notes.
Preview: Scuba and Marquis Hawkes @ WHQ 12th March
Scuba aka Paul Rose has been the head behind one of dance music’s most innovative labels; Hot Flush. He also happens to be a great live DJ, a fantastic producer and occasionally a miserable bastard on Twitter. The man works like a fiend. Aside from his cult status and fantastic sets, the reason I would go and see him is because he compared watching David Guetta playing a set to 60,000 people at Ultra festival to The Fuhrer giving a speech. Rose made the comparison due to the lack of groove and abundance of fist pumping describing it as “Just a massive build up and then goose stepping”. Now that is some funny shit. His label is prestigious and has released the likes of Benga and Joy Orbison, so expect some tunes. The real lure for me however is Marquis Hawkes who’s set is likely to be properly nuts. Scuba will probably play a set of safe, rolling, predictable house. Hawkes on the other hand will play whatever he fancies; African rhythms, techno, disco and all delivered with a certain sense of style. An example of this being when he dropped Seven Davis Jr. (who recently graced Cosmic Ballroom) two songs into his Boiler Room set, so it should be some level of wacky. Hawkes is also likely to be DJing vinyl, which I always think looks better and shows a certain level skill. Listen to: Marquis Hawkes’ Boiler Room set
You Need To Hear This: Romare
Romare has been doing the rounds for a while now but with his recently released first album Projections making everyone’s jaws drop, I thought it was finally time to give him the mention he deserves. Projections may be the most innovative, intelligent dance record produced in the last couple of years and, for me at least, it’s certainly the best record of 2015 so far. His whole concept is genius; the name ‘Romare’ is a reference to the artist Romare Bearden, an artist who portrayed African American culture through collage. Romare essentially does the same through music, layering samples from African-American history and working them up into contemporary dance masterpieces. In the current climate of tired four-tothe-flour tracks and girls who were named Priscilla un-ironically by their parents asking ‘is this deep house or tech house?’. Romare is refreshing as fuck and sorely needed. His tracks groove but more importantly he delivers heavy hitting floor fillers like ‘Roots’ with its looped brass refrain, alongside softer moments like ‘Motherless Child’. The rhythms really get you on this record as they swing with a soul that is sorely missing from modern day production. Listen to: Romare – ‘Work Song’
Max produces under the name of Hues. You can check him out on Facebook or at soundcloud.com/hues
36.gaming
Monday 9 March 2015
The Courier
Gaming Editors: Sophie Baines and Ben Tyrer
Tip top free-to-plays
Chasing the silver screen
We all love games, but who Kizzie Hall DUJXHV JDPHV WKDW WU\ WR EH ¿ OPV DUH ODFNLQJ LQ RQH IXQGDPHQWDO DVSHFW JDPHSOD\ the hell has money for them in this economy? James McCoull takes us through his favourites
Dota 2 This one’s my favourite, so it sits atop this list, but don’t take that as an indicator of quality – they’re all shit. I jest, but Dota is my favourite. This little time-eater repels new players with its baffling intricacies and noob-unfriendly community, but if you persevere you’ll find yourself with a new habit to dedicate every hour of your life to. Standard MOBA gameplay spiced up by a few unique mechanics, a luscious art style and a varied array of available playstyles make Dota stand out as a beacon of quality in what is frankly a wasteland of appalling rip-offs in this genre. Would gladly recommend to anyone who hates themselves and the burden of free time.
Team Fortress 2 Now approaching eight years of age (?!?!?), Team Fortress 2 is almost a classic in its own right even without its predecessor. Nine extremely varied and extremely flavoursome classes, each with a perfectly unique personality and playstyle, give this more longevity and depth than any other shooter I can think of. Constant (albeit drastically slowed) releases of new content keep this one alive and kicking, and for a game about very straightforward mercenary warfare there’s a surprising amount of lore to get into, which is both interesting and hilarious. A little unforgiving for new players, but what isn’t?
League of Legends I can really only recommend this one for the sake of “professional integrity’’ (double airquotes for double irony), but Dota’s shittier cousin has definitely earned a place on this list by sheer popularity. An incredibly big hit for something that, when it came out, was fairly unique, League has built up a solid and ever-expanding community of faithful and, ahem, welcoming players. Probably our best current hope for properly recognised e-sports (see you all at the 2020 Olympics, by the way), and all rivalries aside a damn good example of how freeto-play games can truly flourish.
Quake Live This one’s a wild card, coming as it does from a 1999 retail game, but regardless it foes what it does very well. I played Quake III: Arena when I was younger, and I could never get the online to work... because it was the early 2000s. But here is the answer, only a decade later – a free-to-play and totally legal online version, playable through a very small client. If you, like me, yearn for the indiscriminate anarchy of bygone shooters and pixellated gibbing effects, then this is a game you can start playing less than five minutes after sitting down at your PC. Simple, nostalgic fun, without fucking about with jewel cases and CD keys.
Robocraft Tailing off this list goes the honourable mention to Robocraft, which – as its name suggests – brings those Minecraft building mechanics we all, um... love... into a tank battling arena game. But – and hear me out here – it actually works pretty damn well. There’s an admirable level of effort gone into balancing the various tiers of craft (both landbased and flying) that you can create, and it never punishes you for getting creative and straying from the conventional models. Plus, you can blow someone’s wheels off with a railgun and leave them crippled and stranded. So that’s fun too.
V
ideo games are a form of art. There is an idea, the developers build on it and use their talent to intricately create vibrant, beautiful worlds. What sets video games apart from other mediums is that it is a form of art that allows the audience to take part. It is interactive, allowing the reader to enter this wonderful, imaginative space in a way that films, TV shows and books cannot. You are given an experience that feels unique and personal in such a different way. Yes, art mediums do borrow heavily from one another. Film, TV, literature and art are constantly influencing each other, and games are no exception to this rule. However, I don’t think that video games should ever completely step away from what makes them so unique in contrast to all others. It is undeniable that games like Heavy Rain and Beyond: Two Souls are visually appealing. They are a sign of the breath-taking advancements in technology, for which I can only congratulate the developers. You can tell that plenty of work was put into making these titles. Yet, could I really consider
them enjoyable to play? There are plenty of interactive elements in these games, but it is hard to deny the feeling that you’re watching a film that prompts you to press a button or turn the joysticks.
“These games are visually appealing, but they’re not enjoyable to actually play”
I grew up playing platformers and action games. Some of my fondest childhood memories are of playing Time Splitters, Spyro, Crash Bandicoot and Croc. What I remember most about these games was not the ‘astoundingly realistic visual effects’, nor the ‘intriguing storylines that left me hooked’, but the gameplay. What stood out to me were the final bosses, the levels I loved so much I wanted to play over and over again, and the areas I could explore for hours.
Film-like games, for me, do not include the player in the way that non-film-like games do. Recent releases, The Order 1886, has been criticised for being too much like a film with a lack of gameplay. So evidently some gamers are feeling negatively towards games trying to become too much like other mediums. I can’t really say I disagree with them. I can appreciate the beauty of film-like games. While I often find their graphics and stories very appealing, the gameplay is often lacking for me. As a fan of open world games that allow me to explore for hours without many cutscenes in my way, the story entirely in the hands of my character. As someone who also loves strategy and simulation games, I feel that I am shaping my own personal experience of the game. I find games like Heavy Rain, Beyond: Two Souls and The Order 1886 to restrict me. Games trying to be films make me feel like I am outside looking in rather than at the heart of the action. While I encourage wonderful cinematics, I also do want an equal, if not greater dose of enjoyable, meaningful gameplay.
What I’m playing: Brütal Legend Kizzie Hall WDNHV D VWDU VWXGGHG DGYHQWXUH LQWR WKH UHDOP RI URFN DQG UROO
I
f you are a fan of both heavy metal music and great games, Brütal Legend - or as I call it, Jack Black: The Game - is perfect for you. You play as the loveable Eddie Riggs (voiced by Jack Black, of course), a warm-hearted and hilarious roadie who is feeling a bit down on his luck working for a terrible band.
“It’s a game made for metal fans, but fun for everyone” However, he is transported to an alternate, dystopian world that sees the tyrannical Doviculus (voiced by Tim Curry – this just gets better and better) enslaving humanity. Armed with his electric guitar and axe, which can be combined to wreak total havoc for your enemies, and supported by his gang of loyal and courageous metalheads, Eddie finds his place in the world by setting out to save it in a quest to give the people the freedom to rock. There are so many amazing things about this game that I just don’t even know where to begin. The gameplay itself offers hours of fun. My most memorable quest so far has been near the beginning, freeing the minds of my fellow headbangers with magical powers and recruiting them as part of my metal army. From this point, you can use these ‘troops’ to take down your enemies while you confront the big bosses, creating a real sense of unity between your character and the NPCs in overthrowing the villain. Further, your fellow metalheads aren’t entirely useless allies unlike what we have seen in so many other games where NPCs are more of a hindrance than a help. In addition to main quests, there are also some side quests to enjoy such as providing much-needed assistance in
battle to your fellow metal fans and racing against evil villains. For all your hard work, you are rewarded with ‘Fire-Tributes’ which can be used to upgrade your hotrod, named ‘The Deuce’, your trusty vehicle used for exploring the world. The storyline binding the main quests together is fresh and unique. We have had so many openworld action adventure games with the same storylines, backdrops and heroes. Brütal Legend does something different with the genre, giving you tongue-in-cheek jokes, characters that defy stereotypes and a different take on the good vs. evil trope. For once, the fearless wandering protagonist is someone who doesn’t take himself too seriously.
“The star-studded cast includes Jack Black, Tim Curry, Lemmy and Ozzy Osborne
The star-studded cast is excellent with the likes of Lita Ford, Lemmy, Ozzy Osborne, Kyle Gass (Tenacious D) and Rob Halford. Many of the main characters appearances and personalities are modelled on their voice actors, which feels almost like an inside joke for metal fans playing the game. You are also treated to a superbly selected soundtrack which includes classics from Def Leppard, Mötley Crüe, KISS, Megadeth and Black Sabbath. The world itself is a sight to behold, with a range of metal-inspired vistas that could easily grace an album cover, something the developers were in-
spired by when coming up with the design. I am loving this game so far, largely because it is so clearly passionate about both heavy metal music and gaming. Brütal Legend feels very much like a game that has been made especially for metal fans, but even if you don’t like that genre of music, it’s still a fun game to play.
The Courier
gaming.37
Monday 9 March 2015
thecourieronline.co.uk @Courier_Gaming
Need for speedrunning
Ollie Burton explains the phenomenon of speedrunning, a niche in gaming culture that is growing more popular than ever before thanks to the rise of ADGQ and online streaming
I
t’s time to talk about speedrunning. I, like most people, will buy a game. I will then proceed to play through it at a leisurely pace, taking my time and exploring, stopping occasionally to bend down and smell a virtual piranha flower or ponder the true purpose of an imminently-ending life in Termina as an iratelooking moon hurtles towards me. This would seem fairly natural, and would leave many content. But not everyone. If you spend enough time within the gaming community, you will come across a new breed of gamer. They know precise sizes of collision boxes around items. They understand every glitch and timesaving mechanic,
inside and out. They are an elite new class of videogame masters. The speedrunners. Speedrunning is essentially the act of completing a given game in the shortest possible time. This can be done with the intent of grabbing every collectible along the way, or simply reaching the credits as fast as humanly possible. While this practice is not massively common among the mainstream gaming community, the members of this smallbut-growing group are fiercely competitive, with individual players usually specialising in a very small number of games. This is due to the fact that, while the premise in itself is simple, achieving a decent time relative to already-established runners is
extremely difficult, and can take weeks, months, or even years of practice. Glitches and similar exploits are often abused to maximum effect in order to skip parts of games, often levels or even hours of gameplay. Take Zelda: Ocarina of Time, for example. According to howlongtobeat.com, the average finishing time for the game is around 24 hours. The current world record, held by runner Jodenstone, is 18 minutes 7 seconds. Yikes. The main factor allowing for these short times is the fact that upon defeating Gohma, the game’s first boss, you can then skip all the way to the last confrontation with Ganon, avoiding literally everything else (yes, even that damned Water Temple!). Other fantastic tricks include running backwards instead of forwards, which has a slightly faster animation. The community started to develop in the early days of the internet, with users posting their fastest times on messageboards and forums. Particular games were found to be suitable for speedrunning, and from this competitions between runners began to develop, leading to battles for cherished world records. Recently, large scale speedrunning events have been taking place, such as AwesomeGamesDoneQuick, a twice-yearly charity gaming marathon that has already raised over 1.5 million dollars this year. So why not try your own hand at speedrunning? Just pick a game that you’re good at and fond of, and go through it normally. Make a note of your time, then do it again as fast as you can. Think about places where you could save time and maximise speed. You can even research glitches and check out paths that other runners have used to help you with your own runs. Who knows, if your game is obscure enough, you could maybe even land yourself a coveted Guinness World Record.
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t’s interesting going back to San Andreas a decade later. Rockstar Games returned to the setting of Los Santos in GTA V, and I’d assumed that that game’s much more impressive visuals and smoother gameplay would make its predecessor feel redundant. I was wrong. Replaying San Andreas now reminds you of all the ways in which GTA V felt lacking, by showing you what it does better. The first thing you notice is the setting. Though its graphics are ugly even for its time (check out those block-hands without distinct fingers), San Andreas makes up for its technical shortcomings with style and variety. Each area has its own colour palette - Los Santos is full of yellows and reds, San Fierro distinctly white, the desert orange, and Las Venturas lit up by bright neon at night. Driving around San Andreas, you feel like you are genuinely travelling - there’s never been a better road trip simulator before or since. The sound is equally well done - there’s never been a GTA game with a bad soundtrack, but this one stands out because it captures so perfectly the vibrancy of early 90s music, from Detroit techno
to alternative rock to hip hop. There’s also some excellent voice talent on display here, Samuel L. Jackson among other stars putting in a performance, as well as a large number of less-known actors contributing.
“You find yourself stealing a jetpack and jumping off the Hoover Dam”
The single biggest thing that makes this game stand up so well today, though, is the sense of progression. GTA V suffered from an aimless narrative, and from the fact that the gameplay quickly reached its peak, then stayed broadly the same until the end. In San Andreas, you end up doing things as ridiculous as stealing a jetpack from Area 51 and jumping off the Hoover Dam, but the game paces itself perfectly so that you feel like you’ve earned it. Initially you’re restricted to Los Santos, taking part in inner-city gang wars with ineffective guns and slow cars. Eventually you’re exiled from
the city and lose all of your weapons. When you return near the end of the game by parachute and take possession of a mansion in the hills, it’s a more triumphant moment than anything in GTA V, because it has been a long time coming. The game has its problems, of course. Like in every GTA game, the attempts at satirical humour come across more often as puerile and offensive than they do as clever and topical. And though the narrative here at least feels like it is trying to make you care about its characters, the fact that they spend their time killing innocents in huge numbers makes it difficult. Your gang might be unaccountably anti-drugs but they are certainly not anti-violence. The gameplay, too, can be hard to go back to after playing more recent instalments; cars seem to go skidding off the road at the slightest bump, the inability to aim your weapon properly while driving is a frustration, and any mission where you have to try to aim manually is nightmarish if you’re not playing with mouse and keyboard. But if you can look past all this, San Andreas is still the most satisfying game in the series.
The value of simulation
Ruby Nguyen learns some valuable life lessons from the simulation games
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veryone loves simulation games. The Sims, FIFA 15, Grand Theft Auto V, Call of Duty, the choice is vast and the diversity infinite. But what is it that makes us participate in these virtual forms of living so enthusiastically? Do these games merely serve an entertaining purpose or are there actually life values to them? They simulate real-life activities and allow users complete control of their characters in terms of behaviour and action. Hence, we enjoy these games because they give us control, as opposed to the real-life struggle we have no influence on. Moreover, simulation games take us to another realm of hyperreality. In this realm, we live out our dreams, determine our own destiny and fulfill our darkest fantasy. Fame, wealth and glamour? One click away. Craving that buzz of a ‘thug life’? No problemo. We escape our daily, boring lives of mediocrity and dive into a world we have both created and are part of, a world full of excitement, exhilaration and absolute freedom.
“Eventually I grew bored of perfection, which left nothing to strive for”
Up to this point, these simulation games have been criticized for being shallow in content and superficial in character. Critiques say that we should better focus on what really matters: our real lives, rather than drowning in man-made hyperrealities that actually have no value at all. Hold your horses, because in my case, believe it or not, I have learned quite a lot for life on my way of mastering The Sims. When I first started playing The Sims, all I cared about were wealth and perfection, a winner’s formula of success. I spent hours on designing my Sim (99.9% female) with features that matched the latest beauty ideals (or those I dearly desired). I made sure all her character traits would lead her to success: hard-working, enthusiastic, athletic, etc. Her career goal was related exclusively to fame and wealth. Never has the ‘motherlode’ cheat been abused so devastatingly.
Eventually, I grew bored of perfection. It left nothing to strive for. Hence, I began seriously working my way up to achieve my Sim’s goals. From there on, my Sim spends time honing her skills required for her job everyday, with that next promotion in sight. When meeting someone, she makes sure to invest time in the relationship instead of just falling over him. And my Sims now possess all those human flaws in personality and appearance that make us all unique. So, what’s the lesson learned? Firstly, I’ll learned that you have to work hard to achieve your goals, both in simulation games and real life. Don’t take anything in life for granted. Don’t always rely on shortcuts or cheating to get to your final destination, because it is most often about what skills and experiences you’ve gathered on your way there. Not the happy ending, but the story matters. Secondly, avoid perfection. It’s truly boring because it leaves you nothing left to aspire for. Perfection brings your inner warrior to a standstill, a state of comfort, and that equals his extinction. A bit of chaos, a bit of mess and a shot of uncertainty are what makes life worth living, because you never know what’s ahead. And that’s the beauty of it. Thirdly, people say a game is only a game. But who says life itself isn’t a game?
38.gamingfeatures
Monday 9 March 2015
Forget chocolate I this Easter - search for Easter Eggs Overworked? Never fear, Gaming Editor Sophie Baines is here with some games to relieve stress during your holiday workload The Elder Scrolls Online Tamriel Unlimited When we asked for multi-player Skyrim, Bethesda answered our prayers... not. Instead of giving us multi-player, they designed a whole new game for us avid Elder Scrolls fans. Then made us pay monthly for the privilege of playing a game we never wanted in the first place. Now it’s going ‘unlimited’, which basically means they’re going to let us actually just buy the game and play it (I suspect that people stopped paying and playing, as happens after a few months of any MMO except WOW). After that little rant, lets kick this off with why you should play it on March 16th. It is, as in Elder Scrolls style, absolutely brilliant, and the graphics are excellent - even at the lowest quality it still looks good for its size. There are some good cameos from the rich and famous of the world, including Kate Beckinsale, Bill Nighy, Michael Gambon and John Cleese. All-in-all, Elder Scrolls games are always well-designed and brilliantly written (and considering the quality of the voice actors involved, I’m sure it won’t have the problems Skyrim had). Absolutely worth the play over Easter.
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Bloodborne
This one’s getting released on March 19th and is looking really slick. Battlefield is obviously a well-known franchise and has mostly had pretty smooth releases, but as of EGX last year, they had 3 game modes at release level and were beginning to complete the last two - so Visceral Games are well on their way to an entirely good quality game. There are 5 game modes available: Heist, Blood Money, Hotline Mode, Rescue and Crosswire, and for an FPS the game is surprisingly original and fun. The weaponry implemented by EGX all worked fairly well and the game was pretty well balanced. If you picked up a shotgun after a mini-gun then the damage was obviously higher, but the shots were slower and all in all the DPS worked out relatively evenly. Graphically the game is very pretty, although it gets a little pixelated on the lower quality resolutions. All that is pretty standard with modern games, though, in that many of the games coming out have a pretty standard graphical ability - at least compared to a few years ago when there was a massive discrepancy between studios. This game would be good for someone wanting an easy game to jump into with a group of friends, just to mess around and generally have a great time.
Bloodborne is coming out on March 27th and as you guys saw in issue 1305, several of our writers are looking forward to this roleplaying game; it’s looking very good. Only a small amount game footage has been released so far but what we’ve seen looks amazing. The story follows players through the ruined and deserted city of Yharnam to find a miracle cure to the disease that’s turning citizens into deformed creatures, which the player is required to fight. From what we know of the game it seems very inspired by Victorian London - which seems to be one of the biggest trends in 2015 so far, what with The Order: 1886 and Assassin’s Creed: Victory both making the rounds in good ol’ Vic’s time. Developer Hidetaka Miyazaki has stated that the game runs very similarly to Demon Soul’s, in terms of its level design and character models, but that the game is a completely separate intellectual property to Demon’s Souls. Despite this, the game does unapologetically steal its themes and general feel from the Souls games, and considering the difficulty of the Souls games, Bloodborne is setting up to be one of the most difficult to beat this year. All in all, this game is shaping up to be one of the biggest timesyncs this side of the year and several people here at The Courier will be playing through. If you’re looking for a good quality game this Easter, this is definitely the way to go.
t’s a well-known fact that we, as hard-working students, are meant to do work over the Easter holidays. Whether that is mid-module assessments, reading up, note-making or dissertation writing, we are officially supposed to do some work. I don’t know about the rest of you, but my tendency is far more skewed towards wasting all my time on Skyrim or some other game I’ve been playing for years. Of course, there are thousands of games that are available to play over our Easter holidays, including Binding of Isaac, Don’t Starve and Prison Architect to name a few. However, we wanted to give you a little walk through what’s coming out over our glorious Easter holidays, and some examples you might have forgotten about when choosing your time-consuming games for the next few weeks. All-in-all there’s not a lot of original content coming out soon - much of the games being released over Easter are re-releases, ports, HD remakes, DLCs, translations and the like.
The Courier
While releases like this hold some value, its really disappointing for those of us waiting for the next Half Life, Elder Scrolls or Bit Trip Runner expansion, and we’re always looking for new intellectual properties to really get our teeth into. That said, some of the things your games editors are looking forward to include Grand Theft Auto V PC, Devil May Cry Definitive and the Elder Scrolls Online Unlimited release. None of these are original content, so while I’m disappointed by the selection revealed at the minute, I can’t complain too much. Currently, the gaming industry, and to an extent the film industry, are choosing to focus on existing IPs, and while its a little infuriating it is definitely understandable. Put simply, companies know they can make a profit, and no risk means all gain. I personally can’t wait to jump into Elder Scrolls Online with no concern about being charged an extortionate amount every month, or zipping around on zip lines in Battlefield Hardline.
The Courier
Monday 9 March 2015
featuresgaming.39 Bit Trip Runner When it comes to pre-existing games, Bit Trip Runner is one of the biggest time-syncs I have ever played. Released in 2010 by Aksys Games, it follows Commander Video as he runs through the landscape of three separate planets. It plays like a classic 2D side-scroller, and in fact has a bonus mode in the style of Pitfall (a classic Atari side-scroller), with a speciality soundtrack affected by the characters actions in the game. The gameplay is excellent and infinitely replayable, and is absolutely addictive and terrible. There are several different styles of tracks and despite the game’s difficulty, the learning curve is not at all steep. It develops with you and you never once feel like rage-quitting (although this can be an issue in itself - I know I often will play it for 4-5 hours at a time without stopping). I would definitely advise anyone to give this a play, I can assure you it will become your favourite flash game of all time, and at £6.99 on Steam it is definitely worth a go.
Diablo III
Diablo III is, as you can probably tell, the third in the installation of the MMORPG franchise Diablo. Its long been one of the most popular and fast-selling games, to the extent that despite it being released over a year ago, there are still thousands of people playing it. The game is incredibly addictive and anyone who picks it up ends up playing it for days on end. The main problem, or rather positive, is that every character you can play as is so well-defined and designed that it is difficult to resist levelling, like, 7 times, to experience every character. From the Demon Hunter to the Wizard, they are varied and loved; as is usual different people will swear by different roles and I know the writers at The Courier Gaming play a wide range even within a confined group. Diablo III really lives up to its name in terms of playability, and now that the DLCs have made the game bigger and better, it’s even more ready to play than it ever had been before. If you get long periods of time over Easter, you should definitely jump into Diablo III for a raid or two - see if you can spot me or Ben not working on our dissertations.
Hearthstone
The card game from World of Warcraft has been around since this time last year in a whole form, but the game sprang from the World of Warcraft series and features a number of characters from the game.. Once again, this game is in this list because of its completely engaging and addictive nature. The gameplay is annoyingly addictive, and it’s extremely difficult to rip yourself away - especially considering the moment you finish a game, it zooms you on to the next opponent. It has been heavily critiqued for its reliance on game packs and a somewhat exploitative pay-to-win system, but the card choices are based on chance each game, and even someone with the most basic packs has a chance against someone who’s paid for hundreds. The game remains balanced, and winning makes you feel brilliant, especially if like me, you refuse to buy into a game you’ve already gone to the effort of downloading. Hearthstone is excellent and very much worth a play if you have some time free this Easter. An excellent time-sink and an all round excellent game.
Pokemon
This list would not have been complete without a Pokemon game, and when I cam to deciding which it was going to be, I literally couldn’t. So here the franchise is in its entirety. Most Pokemon games have been excellent, and considering they mostly follow the same formula it’s difficult to choose a favourite (although I will always have a special place in my heart for those original 150 critters). I’ve played every game so far to story completion and occasionally even ventured out to try and ‘Catch ‘em all’. From Rose Red, to Emerald Green, to Black and White and all the Ranger games and the rest, they are all absolutely excellent. They are definitely my go-to game to play when I’m wanting something to waste my time in, and truly I’ve never been disappointed by anything at all. The amount of choice there is in Pokemon games is brilliant and every game you play is completely different, which is part of what can make the game so excellent time solving.
Ports, Translations and Re-releases There are a bunch of games coming out this week that are not brand new games (or even brand new sequels) but just re-releases, ports or translations of previous games. This year has been relatively lazy already, and we’re noticing across the board that developers are choosing to redesign and re-release rather than actually designing new IPs and things.
A small list, just so you can check them out: Grand Theft Auto V, Devil May Cry, Sniper Elite III, Tokyo Twilight Ghost Hunters, Atelier Shallie: Alchemists of the Dusk Sea, Zombie Army, Toukiden Kiwami and Motorcycle Club. Check them out if you get a free minute, and have a great gaming Easter.
40.science&technology
Monday 9 March 2015
The Courier
Science  Editors:  Laura  Staniforth  and  Penny  Polson Online  Science  Editor:  Jack  Marley
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pace: the final frontier. These are to be the voyages of the Mars One missions. Sending two teams of brave men and women to the surface of the red planet to advance our scientific understanding and develop new technologies. They will be the first humans to live and die on Mars. In 2011, the feasibility study was completed for taking a human crew to Mars, after consulting with experts from space agencies and private aerospace industrialists all across the globe. By 2012, the necessary initial capital had been obtained, and conceptual designs had been consolidated. The next year, the astronaut selection program was launched, and as of 2014, only one hundred of over 200,000 initial applicants have been taken through to the next stage of selection. But why go to Mars at all? After the Earth, Mars actually appears to be the most habitable planet for humans in our solar system. The soil there contains water which can be extracted, the temperatures are reasonably close to those of Earth, along with a day and night cycle very similar to ours. A day on Mars last for 24 hours and 39 minutes. Additionally, Martian gravity is 38% that of Earth, which it is believed the human body should be able to adapt to, and crucially Mars has a thin atmosphere that will provide protection from cosmic radiation. Training the crew, which
square metres of space, a communal kitchen area, a ‘plant production room’, and working areas. They will also be able to shower normally and wear regular clothing around the base, leading fairly regular lives - albeit on Mars. They will be joined by a second team two years later, constructing additional living spaces, with this process being repeated at the same interval. This allows the slow building of a human colony, and provides redundancy, as each base module is capable of providing enough water for the entire crew as well as housing two fully functional life support systems.
“They will live out the rest of their lives with the same small group of people in a relatively small space�
will be made up of a mixture of specialists including engineers, analysts and medics, will take eight years. During this training, a huge number of vessels will be sent to Mars carrying the required equipment, rovers, cargo bays and life support modules. These initial launches allow mission control to perfect the voyage and landing processes, and also mean that the living areas can be assembled more easily when the human crew arrives. T h e
“ Space travel will be physically and mentally arduous, with extremely cramped living conditions� Background image: NASA/JPL-Caltech
flight itself will take seven to eight months to reach the red planet. Space travel will be physically and mentally arduous, with extremely cramped living conditions, as well as freeze-dried and canned food being the only options for nutrition. The crew must complete a three hour daily exercise routine in order to maintain muscle mass, and the constant whirring from the ventilators and life support systems will make sleep difficult. Worse still, if the spacecraft encounters a solar storm, they must shelter in an even more compact area of the vessel for further protection for as long as several days. However, once on Mars, the living conditions will be remarkably comfortable. Inflatable living areas provide each crew member with up to 50
In his 2011 novel The Martian, programmer and author Andy Weir explores the potential dangers of life on Mars, including high-velocity dust storms and malfunction of biological sustenance equipment. These are very real problems that the crew must face, and as such their training includes essential maintenance skills such as electronics repair. A rescue attempt is eventually scrambled in an effort to save the book’s protagonist, who finds himself stranded alone on Mars. This is an unfortunate departure from the reality that the Mars One crew faces. Once the team leaves Earth, they will never come home again. Take-off is the point of no return. And that means a huge sacrifice. They will live out the rest of their lives with the same small group of people in a relatively small space. This could lead to the advent of psychological issues such as depression and sleep deprivation, and imagine yearning for your family on a planet nearly 140 million miles from home. But in exchange, they are getting something truly glorious. The opportunity to be at the very forefront of our species’ voyage into the unknown, and joining the ranks of the greatest heroes of our time.
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o, according to certain rodents in the US, spring started at the beginning on this month - to which I call them liars, since I feel like I’ve been wearing my winter coat since August and I still haven’t stopped wearing it. Despite this, and despite Newcastle being permanently grey, it slowly becoming a lighter shade of grey - which means spring is finally on its way. To mark the occasion, here’s some seasonal science to put a spring in your step.
:K\ GR ORWV RI DQLPDOV EUHHG LQ WKH VSULQJ" Animal breeding typically tends to occur at times when the amount of resources (primarily food) are at their most abundant. As your mum would probably tell you (although she’ll wonder why you’re asking such a strange question), being pregnant is a lot of work and requires a lot of energy. The reason why some animals have breeding seasons is because there’s a much higher amount of grazing material around. This means there’s more to eat and thus more energy for the animal. A possible reason for this is that most animals evolved in conditions where energy was scarce, and energy could only be spared on rearing offspring when the amount of food was at its highest. That’s why you only see bouncing baby lambs in the spring.
:K\ GR À RZHUV EORRP" Ah, the flowers blooming is one of the telltale
first signs of spring - but how exactly do flowers know when to bloom come spring? The answer is, like quite a lot of things, determined largely by genetics. Flowers know when to bloom due to a gene named Apetala1. This lone master gene triggers the reproductive development of a plant, which results in flowers bursting into life. There’s other factors too, such as more showery weather providing more water and longer daylight hours providing more time for a bud to photosynthesize - but it all boils back down to genetics.
“An embryo inside a bird might cause the airways of the mother to become blocked bad news for the mother and the baby� :K\ GR ELUGV OD\ HJJV UDWKHU WKHQ KDYH OLYH ELUWKV" Scientists believe there’s a multitude of reasons as to why birds lay eggs rather than have live births like most other God-fearing animals. One such reason is a super simple one: would-be mama birds would be too heavy to fly whilst pregnant - simple, eh? Another reason is that it’s highly likely that an embryo inside a bird might cause the airways of the mother to become blocked, which is bad news for the mother and equally as bad news for the baby,
as both need oxygen supplied to by the mother to survive. Laying eggs allows the chick to have more space to develop as well as allowing a more stable and less life-threatening supply of oxygen as well as not weighing the mother down, so she can actually get around without becoming a meal for a predator.
,œYH KHDUG WKHUHœV D ZHLUG IURJ ZKLFK IUHH]HV LWVHOI WKURXJK ZLQWHU DQG WKDZV LQ VSULQJ 7KDWœV ZHLUG KRZ GRHV LW GR WKDW" Glad you asked, disembodied voice. The particular species of amphibian famous for turning itself into a frogsicle to survive winter is called the Wood Frog. These frogs are common across the northern parts of the US, which is interesting to start with since that’s far higher than any other species of frog - and yes, they can effectively go into Alien-style cryonic sleep. They do this by having blood which acts as a fairly effective anti-freeze. This is possible due to high amounts of chemicals called cyroprotectants (which are things such as urea and glucose) dissolved in the frog’s blood. These do pretty much what they say on the tin: they stop the blood from freezing and help prevent the cells from shrinking. As long as at least 65% of the frog’s blood is left liquid, then they can literally chill for quite a while.
The Courier
technology&science.41
Monday 9 March 2015
thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_science
It’s all going up in smoke
Steph Rosewarne reminds us on the potentially lethal causes of the popular habit
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e all know that smoking is bad for our health, and yet around 10 million people in the UK alone inhale tobacco smoke each day. What many may not know is that cigarettes release a cocktail of over 4000 addictive and carcinogenic chemicals such as tar, carbon monoxide, ammonia and nicotine. These poisons can harm almost every structure of the body, including the cardiovascular and respiratory system. Nicotine alone reduces oxygen delivery to the heart and increases blood pressure, heart rate and damage to the vessel walls, raising the likelihood of a blood clot forming. The destruction in the walls of vessels caused by smoking speeds up the process of atherosclerosis, where plaque that builds up in arteries hardens and causes narrowing. Heart attacks and strokes are therefore risks smokers face, as complete blockage is likely to occur in smaller vessels, such as those present in the heart and brain.
“Smoking is by far the most important preventable cause of cancer in the world”
Smoking is also the main cause for developing chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) a collective term referring to emphysema, chronic bronchitis and obstructive airway disease. These diseases are progressive and so the symptoms get worse with time. Early signs of COPD include: excess mucus production, coughing and shortness of breath. However, it only takes a matter of time until exacerbations (worsening of symptoms) make it harder for a smoker to breathe as a result of vicious cycles of infection, inflammation and reduced lung function. Cancer Research UK note that “smoking is by far the most important preventable cause of cancer in the world”. Their research has shown strong evidence that smoking also causes up to 14 different types of cancer by damaging our DNA, including genes that actually protect us from cancer. In addition to this, smoking also contains chemicals
that stick to our DNA, interfere with repair mechanisms and weaken our body’s immune system. Unfortunately the bad news does not end here the risk of death from smoking has recently shown to be higher than originally stated, thus it is now believed that tobacco smoking kills 2 in 3 as opposed to 1 in 2. This statistic has been drawn from a study conducted on a large Australian sample and have found that even light long-term smokers can have up to 10 years deducted from their lifespan. The age at which people start smoking and the amount of cigarettes smoked per day is different in comparison to the UK, as it has been found that even more people smoke in the UK than Australia. George Butterworth from Cancer Research UK says “it’s a real concern that the devastation caused by smoking may be even greater than we previously thought.” A programme that has recently been set up in the North East aims to provide the public with information about why smoking is harmful and to encourage those who already smoke to quit. Since starting up in 2005, The Fresh programme have already seen a noticeable 1/3 reduction in smoking rates over the last 10 years. They hope to make smoking history by 2025 by working with the NHS
and local authorities to reduce second-hand smoke and help those already smoking to quit. In addition to this, they take advantage of the power of media to publicise their supporting campaigns, such as Stoptober, and try to reduce tobacco availability, supply and promotions. Ex-smokers can look forward to health benefits when they quit. In fact, after 1-3 months of doing so, blood circulation improves and after 9 months, lung function is noticeably better as coughing and shortness of breath subside. Not only does quitting prevent the diseases already discussed in this article, but ex-smokers also have more energy, whiter teeth, younger-looking skin, better smell and taste and longer life spans. All this along with more money, time, nicer smelling clothes and a sense of achievement are all worthwhile reasons to quit. There is an extensive supply of resources smokers can take advantage of when they need help with their habit: free quit kits from the NHS, readily available stop smoking advisors, nicotine replacement therapies (patches, gum and nasal sprays), electronic cigarettes and medications - all of which have already helped many live a longer, smoke-free life.
The magic of science
What paved the way for science? Sophie Baines takes a magical journey
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nce upon a time, in a land of myth and magic, ignorance reigned supreme and rather simple science was often mistaken for the stuff of fairy tales. As our skills develop, we get better and better at identifying how and why things do what they do, and of course there are things that are still being discovered (we’re working on hoverboards). Strange and ridiculous phenomena that were thought to be mystical or religious have now evolved into the science we know and love today. Alchemy, for our first example, is one of those crafts often mistaken for magic, where in actual fact a lot of what alchemy was based on has formed the foundations for modern day chemistry. Researching different substances and attempting to change their nature is often still practiced in chemistry labs across the country. But where we have the periodic table, our forefathers had the four elements, and where we have religious scepticism, they had scientific scepticism. Alchemy faded out of European life due to the rise of quantitative science and testing, but the bases remain there, and attempting to change the nature of chemicals using others is still at the forefront of modern day science.
“Someday what we thought of as fiction may become reality”
Image: J’Ram
Whale of the Week Dwarf Killer Whales (Orcinus orca)
Another example is witch doctors, wisemen and healers. They themselves have influenced the development of modern day doctors and nurses, and indeed their jobs remain largely the same, besides the difference in setting and tools. In a way pharmacists also owe their livelihoods to these witch doctors too, due to the development of medicines from plants and herbs found in yesteryear. Even though many modern day medicines have been developed specifically from the chemical bases, the knowledge we have of those chemicals comes from the initial discoveries ancient healers made in the wildlife they had available. Our NHS owes a lot to those medieval doctors.
Psychology also holds its roots in medieval witchcraft, though the psychologists of our time would claim no allegiance to the psychics and prophets of that age. Puzzling about the mind of human beings was at the heart of psychics, although we now try to help people rather than exploit them (other than the frauds who still like to pretend it’s a viable career).
“Alchemy faded out of European life, but... attempting to change the nature of chemicals using others is still at the forefront of modern day science”
Illustration by Becky Irvine
There are many things that still are unattainable for us, though have been hanging around in fiction for a while (Star Trek, I’m looking at you), and someday what we thought of as fiction may become reality. After all, if you can think of it, it’s probably happening somewhere. All in all, the magic and mystery of yesteryear has not disappeared, but rather developed and hidden amongst our modern day lives and isn’t that just a little magical in itself?
The Courier
puzzles.35
Monday 9 March 2015
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Puzzles Editor: Kate Bennett
Courier Catch- phrase
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1 across & 6 down Scary Spice (7, 5) 5 Popular student takeaway item (5) 7 Main city in Irish province of Connacht (6) 8 British publishing company focused on releasing novels by women (6) 11 Quick-tempered (3) 12 Paranomasia (3) 14 Bivalve mollusc (4) 16 Popular cocktail involving rum, lime juice and sugar (8) 19 Weird fizzy drink (2, 6) 21 Rapid involuntary muscle contraction (2) 24 ‘Papa’ Hemingway’s first name (5) 25 Written assignments; the bane of our lives (5) 26 A&E (8) 27 Refuge (4) 28 Burrowing rodent with large front teeth, native to North and Central America (6)
For even more news, views, sports and culture, make sure you head over to thecourieronline. co.uk
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1 Pip’s secret benefactor in Dickens’ novel Great Expectations (8) 2 Adam _ _ _ _ _ _ _, footballer playing for Liverpool and England (7) 3 A subtle distinction (6) 4 Music recording with more songs than a single but not enough to be an album (2) 5 Sharp cutting implement (5) 6 See 1 across 9 A high mountain (3) 10 1st gen psychic Pokemon, evolves into Kadabra (4) 13 Female member of a religious community (3) 15 Topographical depiction (3) 16 A place of storage (5) 17 Large, floating chunk of water (7) 18 Small front teeth (7) 20 Drippy (5) 22 A table-mountain (4) 23 Acronym meaning ‘quickly’ (4)
Word Link
“I’m Roy Walker and I heartily endorse this event and/or product”
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44.sportfeatures
Monday 9 March 2015
The Courier
Snapshot: cheer team showcase In preparation for their upcoming competi- tions, and as a fundraiser for Smile From Hatti, a charity set up in memory of former cheerlead- er Hatti Sandall, the Northern Angels put to- JHWKHU D VKRZFDVH DW WKH 6SRUWV &HQWUH WR À DXQW their skills. It featured not just cheer routines, but dances from their hip hop, pom, stunt and jazz troupes, the latter of whom were recently crowned as University National Champions at the Future Cheer competition in Birmingham. Images: Sophie Norris
The Courier
sportfeatures.45
Monday 9 March 2015
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lections week is finally at an end and we’ve seen all sorts of weird and wonderful manifestos were rolled out. However, as his role comes to an end Caleb Jones, AU officer, may well have finally, after much hard work, heart break and late night report writing, succeeded in getting his own key policy around disability sport off the ground. When I spoke to an enthusiastic Jones, he suggested that “a big role as AU officer is participation in sport”. What he and the project aim to do is create a Northern BUCS-style league for several disability sports. The sports themselves have not been decided upon but a conglomerate of Northern universities including ourselves and Durham would play against each other in competitive fixtures with a league system in place. Not only is this idea unique, it would, as mentioned, bring a new impetus and dimension to Team Newcastle’s already vast and impressive sports programme. This initiative has been tried before on a much smaller scale by the Go Play and Give It A Go schemes around Newcastle but it never really took off; in Jones’ recollection, “the guys running it said that nobody really turned up but we felt it was something we could that further”. A less determined man may have given up there. In contrast, Jones, a very proud man, took this notion of participation, and a consideration for the fact that Newcastle’s is a “massively diverse student’s union, if not the most diverse” and ran with it. He says he was inspired by seeing the Paralympics at London 2012 have such a positive impact in furthering not only publicity but opportunities for disabled athletes, with more of the public realising how important sport can be in someone’s rehabilitation. “It was fantastic and we are now looking at the integration of disabled athletes into able bodied games as well now, as was seen at the recent Commonwealth Games”. To get started, he “contacted the BUCS disability sports officer, thinking that he would know a lot about it, he was the right man to ask”. At first, Jones thought of this event with disabled athletes “as a one-off, a regional event”. The response from BUCS was near enough instanteous, and with that Jones felt it became something “we had to do, something had to be done”. However, he did not know originally how he was going to launch this scheme; while he now had the full backing of the leading body of university sports (they were “chuffed with the ambition” of it, he says) Jones still felt he was breaking
through a glass ceiling of “top universities not asking for, or even noticing, disability sport”. “Where on earth are the opportunities for the 1500 declared disabled students at Newcastle? Where on earth is the opportunity for them to come in and have direct involvement in sport?” Again, something which seems to be a problem not only at Newcastle but throughout the country and in many terms the world. Parasports are easily forgotten with big money sports like Premier League football stealing the headlines and England’s constantly faltering cricket team taking up prime report space from athletes like David Weir and Ellie Simmonds, who are prime examples of what British sport is about. Jones’ mantra of having ‘pride in the lion’ and given how much he spoke about how much he feels representing the university in a sport can give an extra boost to a person not only in their sporting career but academically and socially as well, he views this project as something which goes deeper and wider than simply putting on a few events. This search for self-confidence, and of mastery of oneself, of expressing one’s own agency and vitality, is something which a lot of sportspeople, not just those in parasports but abled-bodied athletes, mention as a huge reason why they pursued sports in the first place. The fact there are more Paralympic athletes in the public spheres of television, and that their views are sought and respected, makes it seem like this is the right time to roll out a project such as this. Jones suggested in his interview that “this may start as a participation project, but hopefully it’ll develop into a situation where it becomes a performance scheme and these athletes can bring back BUCS points for the University”. However, he does realise that it’s going to take a lot of time and effort. He has more than enough effort to give, but leaves his elected role in a few months and recognises that it’s going to be “up to the permanent staff at the University to take this forward. It’s become my baby, but I’m hoping for a very positive birth, but unfortunately I’m not going to be there for the birth of my own baby”. Pursuing this interesting analogy, he said he sees himself as “a terrible father” because he won’t be able to see his scheme flourish. He then went on to talk about how he sees the situation as comparable to “the late, great, Robin Williams in Hook”, wherein his character loses his son, through ignorance, to Captain Hook. He is still coming to
“It was something we just had to do” terms with the fact that his successor, Angus Taylor, who was elected on Friday after this interview was taken, may well become that Captain Hook figure and “take his baby”. As his time as a sabbatical officer enters its twilight this ground-breaking project not only furthers the University but it will mean Jones can well and truly leave his mark on what has, in some cases, been a difficult year for Team Newcastle, having lost Stan Calvert for a second time and having lost Adidas as a kit supplier. As seen, he mentioned the landscape of parasports, not only at Olympic level but at grassroots levels, something which he is keen to reiterate as a reason for this truly brilliant new scheme. “There is very, very little being
offered in higher education. It’s crazy”, he said. The sheer lack of schemes at universities with only, “two or three running a sustainable programmes” and Jones suggested, in his gruff Mancunian accent, that he “couldn’t believe that to be honest”. “We’re trying to get those who are disabled represented in the local region, and raise their aspirations, not only for the universities involved, but for the prospective students who want to be involved in university sport’. It really should become a scheme to behold, if it can gain much needed monetary support from the University. The result of a bid for funding from the University will be made known this Monday 9 March.
I myself saw Jones writing the report. The pride and determination I saw in him, as well as the frankly ludicrous amounts of coffee he was piling through at the time, heartened me. The hope is that there will be another £20,000 on its way to get the project off the ground with the potential of an extra member of staff being taken on. One thing for certain is that it’s going to take a while, but if Jones and the support staff around him can get his project going it’ll be something unique and something which he, and the university, can forever hold to their credit. The money gained will provide the facilities, kit and coaches to move this quite brilliant project into the next phase of its development.
46.sportbucs
Monday 9 March 2015
The Courier
1HWEDOOHUV UHDFK &XS ¿ QDO Netball Newcastle University 2nd 45 Leeds Beckett 2nd
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By Abi Dodwell at The Sports Centre This week was an important week for the 2nd team as they were fighting for a place in the finals of the BUCS Conference cup. Despite the pressure of the game, Newcastle came out strong in the first quarter with unfounded confidence and vigour. With great movement and defence from Tess Richardson and Georgia St Rose in centre court, the team were able to stay level with Leeds and by the second quarter Newcastle only trailed by one goal. With a strong Leeds side, it was important for the girls to keep pace with them throughout the game and they did just that. Leeds continued to fight hard to keep their centre passes but Newcastle’s strong defensive tactic and great shooting from Tesni Felows meant that they were able to edge into the lead and finish 18-17 at half time. After a pep-talk from Captain Tess Richardson, Newcastle came back onto court determined to increase their lead and secure their place in the finals, especially in front of their home fans. From the second the team came back onto court the quality of play was outstanding with Laura Hall and Annie Bolle-Jones making countless steals in defence and working well together as the pair moved up the court. The defense was stifling and it was a huge contribution to the second half. The carried momentum from the end of the half meant Newcastle played on
Coach and players working hand in hand for the famous victory Photography by Phil Haswell
with greater confidence. This combined with Molly Macleod’s sharp shooting gave Newcastle the lead they needed as they went into the final quarter up by four goals at 30-26. However, in the final quarter Leeds picked up their game and viciously fought to make every ball count and despite the fantastic tips by Sadie Neve that gave
her team crucial turnovers, Leeds were able to bring back the game and as the whistle went the game was levelled a 3434 by penalty. These were extremely familiar scenes with the NUNC 1st losing the game to a last minute goal. The nerves and the pressure were rattling the girls but luckily as a winner needed to be determined
to move on to the finals, the teams were made to play fourteen minutes of extra time. Determined and unwilling to be knocked out of the competition, least of all at this stage, Newcastle did everything the could to ensure they took the win as every member of the team played their heart out. It was finally after sev-
enty-five minutes of outstanding netball that Newcastle were announced as winners with a score of 45-43. The win was hard fought and it gave the girls renewed confidence in their abilities to handle a setback and come out stronger from it! Next stop is the finals against Liverpool 1st, watch out as Newcastle will be coming for the cup.
Ruggers wipe out poor Leeds Women’s Rugby Union Newcastle University 2nd
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Leeds Trinity University 1st 0 By Maddie Morfett-Murdock at Heaton
Newcastle recovered well from the recent 0-51 loss in Stan Calvert Photography by Maddie M-M.
After a string of away games the Newcastle girls were excited to play on home turf. A slow start in Newcastle’s communication left them playing defensively for the opening 10 minutes, however a quick turn over in possession brought a new fire to Newcastle who powered forward as one towards the try line. Leeds continued to battle on through holding off within 5 meters of the try line until Miriam Franklin broke through grounding the first try of what would pan out to be an incredible game for Newcastle. Unfortunately there were a number of minor injuries early on which required the girls to move to unfamiliar positions, despite this perceived set back the girls adjusted really well and their game continued to improve. Effective communication was key to this game, it led to a fantastic line speed chasing the ball and when needed the defensive line was held strong. Charlotte Lentz made some quick runs down the wing were the space was used to its advantage and Newcastle had the opportunity to push forward
even more. Franklin used her quick feet again to power though and score the second try of the game bringing the score to 10-0. After half time Newcastle continued to dominate play and maintain possession of the ball with fly half Jess Hepburn expertly organising the backs and Sarah Hall continuing to gain Newcastle ground with her quick, clean carries. The third try of the game was assisted by a pick and go by number 8 Jen Boggiano from a scrum and with some swift hands and quick feet the ball travelled to scrum half Nat Hamer, who’s first try attempt of the game was held up, firmly grounded the ball to secure the score at 15-0. The game continued with Leeds putting up a good defence but Newcastle were evidently the stronger side. As Leeds started to tire Amy Horne utilised the gaps in the defensive line and her exceptional acceleration on multiple occasions to bring home 10 more points for an elated Newcastle. The final try of the game found its home right in the corner of the pitch as the ball was pushed out wide finding the hands of second row Jess Buckley who grounded the ball firmly over the line bringing the final score to 33-0 to Newcastle. With one final game against Durham 2nd at Heaton again, the NWR girls will be delighted and distraught that their BUCS season of 2014/2015 will already be over!
The Courier
sportbucs.47
Monday 9 March 2015
Wildcats title hopes crushed Women’s Ice Hockey Newcastle Wildcats
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Bradford Sabres B
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By Jack Marley at Whitley Bay Ice Rink For the first time in a long while, the stands at the Whitley Bay ice rink fell silent. Long after midnight on Tuesday, the first ever season of the Newcastle Wildcats Women’s team ended with the conclusion of their last game against the Bradford Sabres B team. The players slowly cleared and the Zamboni emerged to erase the rough record of the night’s events, leaving behind the promise of new beginnings in the untouched layer of fresh ice. With only the gentle drone of the machine to disturb the peace, Coach Stu Tomlinson reflected on the journey that had led him and his team of all-female underdogs to the heights of the Northern university ice hockey leagues. “We left everything out on the ice last week. It’s hard losing an emotional game like that, and it’s only been two days - that’s not a lot of time to get your head straight.” The penultimate battle of the Wildcat ladies had seen them away at Bradford on Sunday, a game that decided the balance of power in the race to be champion. With a drastically depleted bench that was fatigued by an earlier deck hockey competition, the Wildcats saw their title hopes snuffed out. “It was the hardest game we were going to fight, and we had to face it under the worst conditions” Stu lamented. In their final game, against the Sabres and at home, the girls met the end of their journey and signed off on an indelible legacy. To someone who has followed the team through every stage of its evolution, the Wildcats’ final game seemed to resemble their first in its opening minutes. An early goal advantage seized by an over-confident opponent- the Sabres may as well have been Kings in their jet black jerseys. But Kings could fall, as the ladies had proven. Jamie Kraft reminded the swelling crowds of this with a burst from point that saw the puck sailing skyward. She caught it behind Bradford lines and slung it past a dazed net minder.
For Bradford Sabres, this was only their first win in the whole season Photography by Jessica Ward
Steph Towns, with a characteristically nimble coast-to-coast, carved out a 2-1 lead with Sophie Newton that brought the crowd to its feet. Kirsty Ballard’s steadfast defensive work saw her sweep up Sabre incursions at the boards, only to double back and head off breakaways in the centre. She was in good company with dependable Emma Painter, while Elizabeth Bates made several ambitious forays into Bradford territory with Sacha Riley-Smith and Victoria Scudamore that kept pressure on the visitors at an ice-shattering high. The rest of the period flew by in a blue and white whirl and despite an equaliser, the girls never looked more at home. It might be unusual for a team with such a diverse and fluid roster to retain this distinctive character, but the Wildcat pride never lost it. In the second period Towns relished her captaincy duties, filling the skates of Hannah Maurice with a confidence that brought out the best in her teammates.
Lauren Bilby was never more assured in her runs while the chemistry of the Ballard-Hopley partnership flickered in tic-tac-toes and turn and go’s that lit up the neutral zone. Sabre and Wildcat continued to wrestle for control of the game but the eventual 3-3 scoreline at period’s end confirmed how evenly matched these two teams were; something that says more for the fresh-faced Wildcats than the well-fielded and experienced Bradford B’s. However, there may be nothing certain in this league except the idea that all good things most come to an end. The final “WILDCATS!” roar still echoed through the rafters and the crowd long after the face-off, and perhaps it spurred on the slap shots of Helen Collins, the saves of Sarah Jayne Boulton and the checking of Beth Harris and Rachel Sinclair. It was enough to put the girls ahead for five glorious minutes, but it all became confined to memory when the Sa-
bres bit back with both teeth, leaving a scarring score deficit. Defeat loomed but the girls refused to go gladly into the game’s end, resolving instead to rage against the odds and hold the line against an apathetic Bradford. Through gritted teeth the Wildcat 14 fought on. If a period lasted just a couple of minutes longer then who knows what the result could have been but even though the Wildcats have changed a lot about the nature of this game, they sadly couldn’t change that. The buzzer and the scoreboard conspired to deliver the marauding Sabres the narrowest of wins, and the ladies, ever united in victory and defeat, came together for their last team photo. Back in the empty stands Stu contemplated the results of the Wildcat Women’s experiment and found that it had been a season of firsts. “I’ve never coached a team with such a strong character, or with such a range. In the end it worked perfectly- the more
experienced helped along the less experienced, and the less experienced never failed to contribute. They’ve shown more heart than any other team I’ve managed. I’ve never been part of a team with such a strong, unbeatable spirit. To bounce back from hard games and nearly beat league champions…You can’t teach that.” The best conclusion to this story may be its proof that history needn’t be written by the victors. In a strange twist of irony, in a sport where the odds are not kind to the small or the new, that might just be the biggest victory the girls could have hoped for. With newfound optimism, Stu looked to the future. “The Wildcat Women should be the first of many. Once upon a time there was only Oxbridge that tried out mixed teams, now we have dedicated leagues. We should be able to say the same for women in the sport. It all had to start somewhere. Hopefully one day they’ll look back and say it started here.”
Darting glory at Nottingham Men’s Darts
By Mark Dickinson at Nottingham
Newcastle University Darts Society enjoyed a double success at Nottingham this weekend as Thomas Brown and President Mark Dickinson reached the quarter-finals of the National University Darts tournament. Dickinson’s campaign started with a comfortable 2-0 win in his first group game but suffered an early set-back losing 2-1 in his second game due to a number of missed doubles. Dickinson recovered from this loss and showed his class by winning his remaining 4 group games without dropping a leg, recording a 21 and an 18 dart leg and hitting an 85 finish. He also
came close to an impressive 138 checkout hitting the wire of the double 12. The group was so tight that three players from the group had five wins and one loss, but Dickinson qualified top of his group though superior leg difference. Dickinson continued his fine form into the last 32 game where he easily beat his opponent 3-0 with no real challenge. Next up for Dickinson was the last 16 match where missed doubles once again hurt him causing him to go 1-0 down. This spurred Dickinson to improve his form once again and take the second leg with a 91 checkout. Impressive scoring and finishing by Dickinson secured an easy 3-1 win. Next up for Dickinson was a grudge match between York’s Fred Evans where both players were eager to play each
other all day. The long awaited match did not disappoint. The first leg went to Fred where both players threw straight darts remaining in the 20 all though the leg and Fred finished quickly to take the lead. Dickinson hit back with high scoring and quick finishing to level the match. Dickinson then continued in this vein and took the lead through some ruthless finishing. It got better for Dickinson as he took a 3-1 lead as the high scores continued to flow for both players and Dickinson had now hit 3 out of 6 double shots. The high intensity match continued as Fred pulled back two more legs to level the match 3-3 while Dickinson had missed 3 darts for the match. In the last leg both players scored similarly and found themselves on a finish around
the same time. Dickinson had the first shot at a double but nerves showed as he missed two darts at double 16 to finish the match. Fred only needed 2 darts at the double to finish an outstanding comeback, both players congratulated each other on a very good high standard game. Brown started his campaign in the group stage with a hard fought 2-0 win over fellow NUDS man Daniel Johnson. After that Brown came through the group stage with relative ease, winning every leg, hitting a 20 darter and finishing an 88 checkout along the way. Ed McCosh of Sheffield awaited Brown in the last 32 and after a nervy start Brown checked out a 147 finish to secure both the first leg and a £50 prize fund for the highest checkout in the tournament.
McCosh took the next leg but Brown recomposed himself hitting an unconventional 98 checkout to win the game 3-1. Next up Brown faced Alistair Morrison in the last 16. Brown raced in to a 2-0 lead hitting a 14 darter in the first leg. Morrison fought back winning a leg of his own but Brown secured a 3-1 win to set up a quarter final with tournament favourite and last year’s champion Matt Howard. Howard quickly built a 3-0 lead but Brown hit back in the fourth leg hitting double 10 to avoid a whitewash. However in the end Howard’s quality prevailed as he secured a 4-1 win eliminating Brown from the tournament. Howard went on to complete a successful defence of his title.
Sport
www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 9 March 2015 Issue 1308 Free
thecourieronline.co.uk/sport
Sports Editors: Peter Georgiev, Jonty Mawer & Huezin Lim Online Sports Editor: Josh Nicholson courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Sport
P.45 AU OFFICER INTERVIEW
P.46
The unbeaten Uni heroes (L to R): Natasha Mejzner, Sian Bayliss (C), Danielle Pym and Eleanor Bradshaw Photography by Phil Haswell
NETBALLERS EYE CUP
Invincible ladies earn Premier promotion Women’s Tennis Newcastle University 1st
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Durham University 3rd
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By Calum Wilson at Northumberland Club Newcastle’s female tennis stars rounded off a fantastic season with a thrilling 6-6 draw at home to Durham 3s last Wednesday. The quartet of Natasha Mejzner, Sian Bayliss, Danielle Pym and Eleanor Bradshaw had already secured promotion at a canter with 9 wins out of 9 before last week’s showdown with 2nd place Durham. From next season Newcastle will be mixing it with the heavyweights in BUCS Premier North division and expect to face must harder pairings than the ones they have blown past this year. With Durham having secured the runners up spot in the league and a promotion play-off, there was only pride left to play for, and for Newcastle a chance to complete the 100% record. Unsurprisingly then both sets of players were a vision of calm as they warmed up inside the impressive Northumberland Lawn and Tennis Club dome. Despite the hosts dominating the league table, Durham were expected to mount a serious challenge, having gone down 4-6 on their own turf in the reverse fixture. The first doubles match saw Newcastle’s Bradshaw and Mejzner pitched against Charlotte Moss and Tamara Weymouth. Some neat and tidy serving from Mejzner helped the pair to a comfortable 6-3, 6-1 victory to give Newcas-
tle an early points advantage. Mejzner, arguably Newcastle’s most consistent player on the day, later sailed through her singles match against Weymouth on the middle court; 6-3, 6-3. Whilst Mejzner and Bradshaw were easing Newcastle into an early lead, Bayliss and Pym seemed to be struggling in their respective singles match ups on the other two courts. The pair appearing to take it in turn to release their disgruntlement in bursts, as they grew increasingly frustrated with their own performances. On the far court, Bayliss, up against the agile Petra Zilinianova, huffed and puffed but eventually succumb to a 3-6, 3-6 defeat. Meanwhile Danielle Pym on the middle court fought bravely in the first set versus Mara Waters and her dissatisfaction reached a peak when she gave up 3 set points at 5-4 only to then lose the set 5-7. Pym then apparently let her frustrations overwhelm her in the second set, Waters cruising to 6-0 in no time at all. At the half way point in the fixture Newcastle trailed 2-4 and would need to win the remaining three match-ups and take all 6 points on offer to retain their 100% record and complete a momentous campaign. Perhaps on another day the Newcastle girls could have completed the turn around, but the effects of their 0-12 thrashing from Stan Calvert Sunday seemed to take its toll as the afternoon wore on. Natasha Mejzner’s impressive display in the singles tied the match at 4-4 and the focus switched to either end of the dome where both Bradshaw and Moss in the singles, and Bayliss and Pym vs
Zilinianova and Waters were involved in closely fought battles. There was certainly no sign of complacency from either side, both looking to wrap up the season in style. On the right hand court, Bradshaw and Moss exchanged blows, and like Pym earlier, the host had a series of chances to take the first set but for a few errors. Moss eventually recovering to take the opening set 7-5. Bradshaw quickly recovered in the second, storming to a 3-0 lead, and with home cheers from the doubles game at the other end of the arena, it seemed for a moment like the dream was still alive.
But Moss again did not give up without a fight and some inconsistent serving from Bradshaw allowed the Durham girl to recover once more and reduce Bradshaw’s lead to 4-3. News from the other end was more positive for Newcastle, an epic first set in the doubles match had gone to a tie break and having saved a set point, the duo of Bayliss and Pym snatched an advantage, taking the tie break 8-6. A short while later and the 100% record was finally broken. Moss’ fresher legs eventually telling as she again turned the tie around, punishing a couple of double faults and recording a sec-
ond 7-5 set. That left Bayliss and Pym with the job of seeing out their match and levelling the score at 6-6, to complete an equally impressive unbeaten season. Much credit must go to Sian Bayliss in particular who evidently was playing through some form of pain barrier, the captain increasingly grimacing and rubbing her right shoulder. Despite a valiant effort from Durham’s duo, Zilinianova and Waters, the class of the league leaders eventually shone through and Newcastle took the SECONDset 6-4 to bring to a close a memorable season.
Pym hits a splendid backhand slice to the delight of the crowd Photography by Phil Haswell