Support
ALSO
Inhalants: Toxins, Not Drugs
SEPTEMBER–NOVEMBER 2017
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MOVIN’ ON UP: DEALING WITH TRANSITIONS » The 40 Developmental Assets: Support » Sexting: Game or Crime? » Teens and Sleep
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SEPTEMBER–NOVEMBER 2017
FEATURES
6 Movin’ On Up: Dealing with Transitions 14 The 40 Developmental Assets: Support 16 Sexting: Game or Crime? 20 Teens and Sleep 23 Inhalants: Toxins, Not Drugs IN EVERY ISSUE
2 From the Director 5 The Kitchen Table 10 Faces in the Crowd 11 40 Developmental Assets 12 Assets in Action 18 Q&A and By the Numbers PRINTED BY
PRODUCED IN CONJUNCTION WITH
TO ADVERTISE OR CONTRIBUTE Barb Swierzbin: (989) 496-1425 bswierzbin@tlc4cs.org
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Wandering Albatross Photography www.tlc4cs.org
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Director FROM THE
The Midland-based Community Alliance 4 Youth Success is dedicated to preventing teen substance abuse. The Alliance has adopted the Developmental Assets Framework as the foundation for its prevention efforts. Preventing alcohol, marijuana, and other drug use is no easy task, but the Alliance has demonstrated that when all sectors of the community come together, social change happens.
ABOUT THE LEGACY CENTER The Legacy Center provides evidence-based learning and developmental strategies, in collaboration with other organizations, to help individuals reach their full potential. Below are The Legacy Center’s program areas: LITERACY SERVICES: At The Legacy Center, we believe everyone deserves the chance to learn how to read. For more than 30 years, we’ve been providing literacy programming to the greater Midland Community. Today, we offer one-on-one tutoring in Adult Basic Education, English as a Second Language and the Barton Reading & Spelling Program (for those with dyslexia). YOUTH SERVICES: We support initiatives and programs that ensure area youth excel and become productive members of society. The Center has adopted the concept of Developmental Assets, which immunizes youth against risk-taking behaviors. We also coordinate the activities of the Community Alliance 4 Youth Success, a group of local community leaders who are dedicated to preventing teen substance abuse. CONSULTING & EVALUATION SERVICES: Since its inception, the Center has helped local nonprofit organizations establish outcomes and evaluate their programs to determine whether and to what extent the program is effective in achieving its objectives. The results derived from these projects allow our partners to make program adjustments, retain or increase funding, assess community impact, engage collaborators, and gain favorable public recognition.
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ere we are once again, in backto-school mode. It will be a few weeks before we settle into a routine. Transitions are difficult, but can also be fun and exciting. We are thrilled to have a great article about transitions with some great advice we can all use at some time or another. Changing schools, changing teachers, even changing the students our kids will be hanging out with can all cause a certain JENNIFER HERONEMA amount of angst. For this reason, we chose to focus on Support in our series of 40 Developmental Assets. Family support, positive family communication, and parent involvement in school are so critical for kids’ success. I truly hope you’ll use the resources in this issue of YC Magazine to help make this the best school year ever! In addition to support, we can never minimize the importance of enough sleep. I recently heard a story of a child who woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t go back to sleep so played games on a device. Needless to say this child was sleeping through most of the day at camp. She was not only missing out on the fun, but the lack of sleep was affecting her ability to regulate her moods and feelings. It might be easy to just give them a game, but at what expense? Speaking of technology—we’ve got a great article on sexting. I think parents have no idea how much this goes on—and the kids who are choosing to participate. We need to truly educate our teens on the consequences of this dangerous practice. In line with dangerous practices, inhalants are a substance of choice, particularly for middle school students. They’re easy to find in every home and can kill on the first use. We underestimate the availability of everyday household items. We hope the articles assembled for this issue are helpful in your quest to support your child(ren) to be as successful as they can. Everyone has so much potential, we just need to foster it. Here’s to a great school year!
Follow The Legacy Center w w w.tlc4cs.org w w w.facebook.com/tlc4cs Follow the Community Alliance 4 Youth Success w w w.drugfreemidland.org
THE LEGACY CENTER FOR COMMUNITY SUCCESS Jennifer Heronema, President/CEO (989) 496-1425 jheronema@tlc4cs.org 3200 James Savage Rd, Ste 5 Midland, MI 48642
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CONFESSIONS FROM THE KITCHEN TABLE think just about every parent fears having to talk to their kids about “the birds and the bees.” Well, one day last week, my teenage daughter mentioned to me that I need to have a chat with her little brother about sex. Needless to say, I was dumbfounded. I thought he was way too young to be talking about sex. Nevertheless, I knew that something or some things had piqued his curiosity. Compared to when I was a child, our children today are bombarded with sex. Just about any time you turn on your television you see previews and advertisements that display/mention sexual content. Well, my youngest was at his grandparent’s house, and he saw a preview for a movie that showed a couple talking about sex and had also seen on a greeting card two people embracing in bed. I was freaked out because I thought, “He is too young to be asking about sex.” But then as I thought about my son and his very intuitive personality, I realized that it was probably right on track for him. So, I did as any parent would do and scoured the internet for the right time to talk to your child about sex. Every site had a different recommendation. I decided to go with my gut and tackle this head on, otherwise it would be something
that would just consume his curiosity. My son can sense my feelings and I knew that if I tried to avoid this conversation, he would just keep probing until someone or something would give him an answer. I bit the bullet and on our hour-long trip back from the museum, I started the conversation. I asked him what he thought sex was and found out that he was pretty much in left field. I explained that we would read a book together that would help Mom and Dad explain sex to him. A couple evenings later we started reading the book and are currently in the process of working through the book while answering numerous questions. We are about half way through and amazingly this book has satisfied his curiosity for now. As parent, I have looked back on the way I was raised. I grew up in a strict Catholic household where we did not discuss sex. In fact, I think it was considered a bad word. My mother knew that I would watch “the film” (which talked about puberty and the changes occurring to our bodies) in 5th grade. But everything I knew about sex came from my friends. I decided when we welcomed our first child into the world, I would normalize our conversations about sex. What I have learned is that each child is different. We explained it to my daughter
when she was eight because I was pregnant and she was very curious about how the baby got in my belly. I was recommended a book that would help us talk about sex in a way that aligned with our values. Since that day, we have always asked her if she has any questions regarding sex. We also worked through a program that talked about dating and self-esteem. It has been interesting as she has entered the teenage years, and we have had some very real conversations about sex. Sometimes these conversations blow my mind, and I am shocked by what kids know in today’s world. With all the access our children have to knowledge (you can Google anything) it is hard as a parent to keep up. I think the hardest part was starting the conversation about sex. But since we have, my children now know that they can ask us anything. The reality is that our kids are talking about sex, but my daughter knows that she can always talk to us if she has a question or is confused about something she has heard from her friends. What it boils down to is having open communication. My children need to know that they have a voice and we are here to listen. The kitchen table is a great place to start communicating with your children! ■
YOU CAN SUBMIT YOUR STORY AT: jheronema@tlc4cs.org For many of us the kitchen table represents the typical family experience. We have laughed while having family game night. We have cried over our children’s choices. We have blown out the candles on many cakes. We have argued our way out of doing the dishes. We have struggled through those “three more bites.” We have learned hard lessons and celebrated many deserved successes. One thing is for sure though—if our kitchen tables could talk, there would be plenty of stories! So often it is in relating to others’ stories that we realize there isn’t always one answer, or even a right answer. Parenting is hard work! If you have a story of lessons learned, we invite you to share it with our readers. Sometimes, knowing we aren’t the only ones struggling to find the answer is all the help we need.
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MOVIN’ ON
dealing with
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UP:
transitions By DANIEL CHAMPER, LCPC
During a recent trip back to the home that houses most of my treasured childhood memories, my mother abruptly halted the evening conversation after our kids had successfully been pressured into slumber, and disappeared up the creaky old farmhouse steps with an alarming twinkle in her eye. y siblings and I cast concerned looks around that cherished living room and waited impatiently for her to reappear. After a couple of mysterious clunks and a few discordant curse words came from the attic, my saintly mother descended back into an expectant room with several dusty and incriminating photo albums. She proudly recounted and entertained us with the “highlights” of our developmental journey while in her care. She pointed out the first steps, the first days, the graduations, the weddings, and the babies. She talked of the highs. My brothers made sure to point out the lows. And I remembered the “in-betweens.” Pimples and puberty preceded cuddling and canoodling which led to wisdom and weddings. Silliness and socializing gave way to cutting class and consequences which transitioned to acceptance and achievement. In short, each picture represented a path, a journey, towards whatever moment was captured. There was movement and change behind every story; good, bad, or super smelly. For every moment of maternal pride, there were transitions and turmoil that were integral parts of the process. It is easy as parents, teachers, or semifunctional adults to forget the nitty gritty details and the incredible angst created by the movement between each developmental stage, seasonal change, social steps, and environmental shift that we experienced in our youth. But childhood and adolescence isn’t just sprinkled with transitions, it is created by them. continued on page 9
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GREATERMIDLAND.ORG Register for programs at Youth Services or by calling 837-3466.
BECOME THE ATHLETE YOU’RE MEANT TO BE!
• Fab Friday design Challenge! Friday, September 29, 6:30 - 8:00 PM Library auditorium Registration Required
• PLotS & Pizza Monday, october 9, 6:00 - 7:00 PM Library auditorium Registration Required
• teen read Week BECOME THE STARTER OR JUST MAKE THE TEAM, WE’LL WORK YOU THROUGH SPECIFIC DRILLS THAT DIRECTLY AFFECT PRACTICE AND GAME DAY PERFORMANCE. JOIN THE GSP TEAM BY CONTACTING SEAN LEAHY: 989.832.7937 X2228 | SLEAHY@GREATERMIDLAND.ORG
october 8 - 14 “Unleash your Story” Find stories, biographies, autobiographies, folktales and more at the library Join the conversation on twitter with Grace A. Dow #trW17
Memorial Library
Youth Services: 837-3466 www.cityofmidlandmi.gov/library
EMAIL US AT GREATERMIDLAND.ORG FOR A FREE PRIZE!
Change a Life: Volunteer You can help a person learn how to read in just two hours per week. Call (989) 496-1425 today to sign up for tutor training!
We believe everyone deserves the chance to learn how to read. The Legacy Center 3200 James Savage Rd Midland MI 48642 989∙496∙1425 www.tlc4cs.org
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Sept. 12, 14, 19 & 21 6:00-9:00 p.m. ABE, Barton, ESL
March 2 & 16 9:00 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Barton
October 13 & 27 9:00 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Barton
April 16, 18, 23 & 25 6:00-9:00 p.m. ABE, Barton, ESL
Jan. 22, 24, 29 & 31 6:00-9:00 p.m. ABE, Barton, ESL
ABE = Adult Basic Education Barton = Barton Reading & Spelling ESL = English as a Second Language
continued from page 7
When we think of transitions we often think of the big life changing variety; the kind that alter the trajectory of a person’s life course. But transitions flood every aspect of our lives together in minute ways that we overlook and minimize on a regular basis. We, and our kids, experience hundreds of transitions every week. Some of these transitions become integrated into our daily routine to the point that we don’t even recognize them as a transition. Transitioning from work or school back into the home environment is a perfect example. Most of us have struggled at some point with “leaving work at work.” Some transitions are big, obvious, and exciting; such as getting out of school for the year or sending those little rebels back in the fall. Some are uncomfortable and easy to avoid. Nobody really enjoys talking to teenagers about body odor, bodily functions, and babies (hopefully in that order). Transitions come big and small. They can be life changing or monotonous. They can be inevitable or avoidable. But, transitions all have universal stages that when understood can provide a roadmap to all of us parents out here trying to support the chaos that all this moving and shaking creates. When transitions are small and routine, we often move through most of these stages without acknowledging their existence. When transitions are big and scary, we often obsess over each stage, sometimes to the point of avoiding the change altogether. The human brain and body enjoy sameness. We enjoy normalcy and uniformity. But we also are hardwired for hope and expectation. We are programmed to see the green lush grass on the other side of that fence. Each transition contains several phases or stages that are universal in nature. Normalizing and understanding these stages is an integral part of supporting our children through the thousands of transitions that life is throwing at them. The first step is becoming aware of the transition. Recognize a change in daily routine or a life change as a transition rather than just “part of the day.”This allows us to separate that particular move or change from the rest of a child’s day and will allow us to view the emotions and reactions as uniquely connected to that specific event. Think of the liberation that may come when the connections is made between the moody teenage girl responses at the end of each school day to the transition away from her boyfriend (or “boo” for those hip parents out
there). The snarky attitude and impressive eye rolls may be associated with that particular change and not necessarily indicative of their general feelings about life and parents, in general. Ok, I admit that may not have been the best example but hopefully the point is made. This move towards identification and specification can be especially helpful when a transition is eliciting a negative response as it allows adults to isolate and intervene surgically and thoughtfully. The next stage is preparation. This stage is much easier to understand when we accept the universal truth that most every
One of the most important ways that we can support a child through any transition is to be flexible and supportive no matter what. This new school year will not go as planned. And puberty sure as heck won’t go as planned (if that’s even possible to plan for). human change is met with initial resistance, unease, or refusal. This can be illustrated by a teenager who doesn’t want to get out of bed in the afternoon or a 65-year-old man who works a job he hates for 40 years because he is unsure what else is out there. We cannot prepare ourselves or our children for transition if they are still in a state of refusal. We can only prepare once we have moved into a state of acceptance. Sometimes this may mean dragging them kicking and screaming into the store to shop for school supplies, but sometimes it may involve sitting down and thoughtfully listening and understanding the emotions and feelings connected to the transition. Fear, shame, anxiety, and poor self-image are often the drivers behind the resistance to change. Once acceptance is achieved, we can fully move into the preparation stage of a transition. This is the most practical stage and is often the easiest for parents to complete as it requires action. Complete preparation should include discussion about potential outcomes; both positive and negative. Talk
with kids about what can go right and what can go wrong, as well as what choices may lead in either direction. Be open and direct in asking children what they need for a transition. This can vary from new shoes for the school year to check-ins with a parent every day after school. Also, think about ways in which we may need to advocate for our kid; or areas in which we may need to back off now that they are getting older and moving on to new developmental tasks and challenges. The more we think about the specifics of each identified transition the more we will be able to prepare. And then, the unexpected will hit the fan and blow the plan out of the water. Remain calm, and offer support and nurture, rooted in hope and acceptance (we can always freak out later). One of the most important ways that we can support a child through any transition is to be flexible and supportive no matter what. This new school year will not go as planned. And puberty sure as heck won’t go as planned (if that’s even possible to plan for). Providing a safe and supportive place for children during these times of unrest is just as vital in thriving during transition as the first two steps. Then, start the stages all over again. There are certain times during transitions that require intervention or assessment from professional eyes outside of the home. While these instances are the exception rather than the rule, recognizing when it is time to involve professionals during a particularly difficult transition phase can be crucial. Developmental changes and physical growth can trigger medical issues. Social pressures and anxiety can spark symptoms that may require assistance from a mental health professional. When we feel like we may be in over our head, we should reach out to a doctor or trusted school staff member for resources and assistance. When we hold those little squirmy bundles we call our children for the first time, we don’t envision freak outs over being placed with the tough chemistry teacher. We don’t imagine meltdowns due to a perfect storm of hormones and social drama. We surely don’t visualize having the birds and the bees talk with tweenagers. No, we picture creeping down the stairs in our later years with a mischievous look in our eye and armed to the teeth with dog-eared photographs and heart-warming stories. But, we can’t make it to those framable moments without hanging in there through the thick and the thin of the series of transitions that we call life. ■
Daniel Champer is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who currently serves as the Director of School Based Services for Intermountain in Helena, Montana. Daniel provides leadership and clinical oversight to teams of mental health professionals who provide therapeutic services in public school settings in the Helena area.
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Check out who’s standing out in our community. IS THERE SOMEONE YOU’D LIKE TO NOMINATE? Please visit our website http://tlc4cs.org/faces-in-the-crowd/ and tell us why this individual has stood out in your crowd.
FACES IN THE CROWD
Selina Bradford MIDLAND HIGH SCHOOL, 12TH GRADE
Selina has been a participant of The ROCK Center for Youth Development since 6th grade. During her time at The ROCK, she has participated in many events. She has also developed skills like self-confidence, leadership and communication. Selina is involved in The ROCK’s LEAD (Leadership, Exploration and Development) group. Together with other high school students, they plan events for ROCK students and friends and work on leadership skills. Selina has volunteered for Midland Blooms, Good Deeds Day and many more activities. The younger students look up to Selina. She is always willing to help with homework or listen to a friend and give advice. Thank you, Selina, for all you do to help make this community great.
Dave Shibley VOLUNTEER MENTOR, BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS
Dave has been a Big Brothers Big Sisters mentor for seven years. He says he became a Big because he wanted to be able to give back to his community and make a positive impact on someone’s life. When Dave was matched with his little brother, Nick, he was able to instill self-confidence, help him through life’s ups and downs and watch proudly as Nick graduated from high school this year. When it comes to volunteering, Dave says, “You won’t regret it. You are adding value to someone’s life but also getting a lot from it yourself.”
Lori Pritchard TEACHER/PRINCIPAL, MIDLAND COUNTY JUVENILE CARE CENTER
Lori has a passion for working with at-risk youth and goes above and beyond to bring them an education. As a special education teacher, she is responsible for teaching youth ranging in age from 11 to 17. The adjudicated youth have a broad range of abilities, and Lori ensures that each student is provided with an individualized program suited to his or her unique educational needs. As an administrator, she is responsible for overseeing the everyday operations of the school component of the Juvenile Care Center. She serves as an advocate for teachers and support staff and works collaboratively with local school districts and agencies to ensure the best possible care for the youth of Midland County.
Kristi Kline DIRECTOR OF STUDENT READING PROGRAMS, THE LEGACY CENTER
Kristi has been with The Legacy Center in one form or another since 2008. She served as a volunteer tutor for the Barton Reading & Spelling Program and became an employee in 2014. In the past 9 years, she has worked one-on-one with 14 school-aged students, helping them improve their reading skills and confidence. As director of the program, she manages more than 100 learner-tutor pairs. Her commitment to the students and tutors is evident. Her office is filled with inspirational quotes, including this one from Gene Roddenberry: “The world of the future is a place where there’s no hunger or greed, and all the children will know how to read.”
Midland County Habitat for Humanity ORGANIZATION
Midland County Habitat for Humanity (Habitat) believes every family deserves to have a decent place to live. Habitat has built more than 84 homes for partner families and has revitalized more than 175 homes through the Neighborhood Revitalization program. Home is the key to strength, stability and self-reliance for the families served. They partner with families in our community to help them build or improve a place they can call home. Habitat homeowners help build or revitalize their own homes alongside volunteers and pay an affordable mortgage. Through the Habitat model, homeowners achieve the strength, stability and independence they need to build a better life for themselves and their families. For more information, please visit midlandhabitat.org.
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Change a Teen’s Life: Become a Midland Mentor!
We are seeking volunteers for our Midland Mentors program at the Juvenile Care Center. As few as two hours a week can make a huge difference in a teen’s life. No experience necessary. Training provided.
For more information contact: Sue Landis, Program Director slandis@co.midland.mi.us (989) 837-6255 www.midlandkidsfirst.org
40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS
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40 Developmental Assets are essential qualities of life that help young people thrive, do well in school, and avoid risky behavior. Youth Connections utilizes the 40 Developmental Assets Framework to guide the work we do in promoting positive youth development. The 40 Assets model was developed by the Minneapolis-based Search Institute based on extensive research. Just as we are coached to diversify our financial assets so that all our eggs are not in one basket, the strength that the 40 Assets model can build in our youth comes through diversity. In a nutshell, the more of the 40 Assets youth possess, the more likely they are to exhibit positive behaviors and attitudes (such as good health and school success) and the less likely they are to exhibit risky behaviors (such as drug use and promiscuity). It’s that simple: if we want to empower and protect our children, building the 40 Assets in our youth is a great way to start. Look over the list of Assets on the following page and think about what Assets may be lacking in our community and what Assets you can help build in our young people. Do what you can do with the knowledge that even through helping build one asset in one child, you are increasing the chances that child will grow up safe and successful. Through our combined efforts, we will continue to be a place where Great Kids Make Great Communities.
Turn the page to learn more!
The 40 Developmental Assets® may be reproduced for educational, noncommercial uses only. Copyright © 1997 Search Institute®, 615 First Avenue NE, Suite 125, Minneapolis, MN 55413; 800-888-7828; www.search-institute.org. All rights reserved.
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assets in action
40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS
3 Midland Community Center Junior Leaders prepare for summer camps
SUPPORT
1. Family support: Family life provides high levels of love and support. 2. Positive family communication: Young person and her or his parent(s) communicate positively, and young person is willing to seek advice and counsel from parent(s). 3. Other adult relationships: Young person receives support from three or more nonparent adults. 4. Caring neighborhood: Young person experiences caring neighbors. 5. Caring school climate: School provides a caring, encouraging environment. 6. Parent involvement in school: Parent(s) are actively involved in helping young person succeed in school.
EMPOWERMENT
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Friends attend the ROCK pool party
7. Community values youth: Young person perceives that adults in the community value youth. 8. Youth as resources: Young people are given useful roles in the community. 9. Service to others: Young person serves in the community one hour or more per week. 10. Safety: Young person feels safe at home, at school, and in the neighborhood.
BOUNDARIES & EXPECTATIONS
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Student participates in GMCA construction camp
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11. Family boundaries: Family has clear rules and consequences and monitors the young person’s whereabouts. 12. School boundaries: School provides clear rules and consequences. 13. Neighborhood boundaries: Neighbors take responsibility for monitoring young people’s behavior. 14. Adult role models: Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible behavior. 15. Positive peer influence: Young person’s best friends model responsible behavior. 16. High expectations: Both parent(s) and teachers encourage the young person to do well.
CONSTRUCTIVE USE OF TIME
Midland High golfers build butterfly garden for family center
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17. Creative activities: Young person spends three or more hours per week in lessons or practice in music, theater, or other arts. 18. Youth programs: Young person spends three or more hours per week in sports, clubs, or organizations at school and/or in the community. 19. Religious community: Young person spends one or more hours per week in activities in a religious institution. 20. Time at home: Young person is out with friends “with nothing special to do” two or fewer nights per week.
If you or your child would like to submit a picture that represents one of the 40 Developmental Assets, please submit the information through http://tlc4cs.org/assets-in-action/ with a picture and the number of the asset the picture represents.
Not all pictures are guaranteed publication.
26 COMMITMENT TO LEARNING
21. Achievement motivation: Young person is motivated to do well in school. 22. School engagement: Young person is actively engaged in learning. 23. Homework: Young person reports doing at least one hour of homework every school day. 24. Bonding to school: Young person cares about her or his school. 25. Reading for pleasure: Young person reads for pleasure three or more hours per week.
POSITIVE VALUES
26. Caring: Young person places high value on helping other people. 27. Equality and social justice: Young person places high value on promoting equality and reducing hunger and poverty. 28. Integrity: Young person acts on convictions and stands up for her or his beliefs. 29. Honesty: Young person “tells the truth even when it is not easy.” 30. Responsibility: Young person accepts and takes personal responsibility. 31. Restraint: Young person believes it is important not to be sexually active or to use alcohol or other drugs.
Youth group goes on mission trip to Haiti
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Exchange students headed to Midland’s sister city, Handa, Japan
SOCIAL COMPETENCIES
32. Planning and decision making: Young person knows how to plan ahead and make choices. 33. Interpersonal competence: Young person has empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills. 34. Cultural competence: Young person has knowledge of and comfort with people of different cultural/racial/ethnic backgrounds. 35. Resistance skills: Young person can resist negative peer pressure and dangerous situations. 36. Peaceful conflict resolution: Young person seeks to resolve conflict nonviolently.
Dow High English student learns to play the ukulele
34 Cheer team participates in cheerleading competition
POSITIVE IDENTITY
37. Personal power: Young person feels he or she has control over “things that happen to me.” 38. Self-esteem: Young person reports having a high self-esteem. 39. Sense of purpose: Young person reports that “my life has a purpose.” 40. Positive view of personal future: Young person is optimistic about her or his personal future.
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40 THE
DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS
SUPPORT By KELLY ACKERMAN, Parent Educator
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YC Magazine highlights 40 Developmental Assets in each issue. These assets are evidence-based to positively contribute to the development of children across their lifespan. esearch clearly shows that the more assets a young person has, the less likely they are to participate in risktaking behaviors during adolescence including drug and alcohol use, violence, illicit drug use, and sexual activity. Sadly, the average young person has less than half of these assets according to Search Institute. This article is one in a series to highlight the eight categories of assets in order to more fully engage families, schools, agencies, businesses, and community members in ensuring our children experience as many assets as possible. SUPPORT This developmental asset consists of the following six aspects: 1. FAMILY SUPPORT 2. POSITIVE FAMILY COMMUNICATION 3. OTHER ADULT RELATIONSHIPS 4. CARING NEIGHBORHOOD 5. CARING SCHOOL CLIMATE 6. PARENT INVOLVEMENT IN SCHOOL Every child needs love, affirmation, and acceptance, which is what is referred to as support. Support may be even more important for adolescents because the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual changes they are going through may make it more difficult for adults to feel close to them. However, research shows that teens who report a high level of connectedness to families and schools are protected from seven out of eight risky behaviors, including suicidal thoughts, violence, substance use, and early initiation of sexual activity. Youth need to be loved and accepted unconditionally. They shouldn’t be made to feel embarrassed or stupid by adults or to be lectured when asking for advice. Supported youth know they are not alone and can rely on positive and fulfilling relationships with a number of adults in their family, community, and school. They know they have adults they can turn to for help, such
as dealing with emotional issues or learning new skills. Family Support: Family life provides high levels of love and support. Supportive parents are emotionally close with their kids, communicate opening with them, have democratic discussions about family rules and decisions, and provide clear and sometimes negotiable boundaries. Research shows support from parents has been associated with lower substance use, higher self-esteem, less anxiety and depression, less delinquency and school misconduct, and higher school engagement, including higher grades and standardized test scores. Ideas to foster family support include: starting traditions such as game nights or season outings; giving kids a hug a day (even big kids); spending time weekly with teens individually; giving kids space and respect their privacy when they need it; having family meetings. Positive Family Communication: Parent(s) and child communicate positively and the youth is willing to seek advice from the parent(s). This is reached when the parents encourage two-way conversations with their children, validate the child’s point of view, and recognize the rights of both the kids and the parents. It’s important to encourage the adolescent’s emerging independence through the gradual increase of the decisions they are allowed to make, and not by indulging them. Ideas to foster positive family communication include: use drive time to have conversations, which may be less uncomfortable for adolescents; use a whiteboard on the refrigerator to write a message of encouragement or to let kids know when you’ll be back. Other Adult Relationships: Young person receives support from three or more nonparent adults. Relationships with adults outside the family, like teachers, coaches, friend’s parent, or clergy, are strongly associated with adolescent well-being. On some issues, such as school concerns or sexual issues, a nonparental adult is a preferred go-to person. Sometimes this person may be a neighbor or someone with similar interests. Ideas to encourage a relationship with a caring adult include finding someone who
can share skills with a youth in their area of interest such as gardening, woodworking, cooking, outdoors, or fitness. Look for opportunities outside of school like a mountain biking club, robotics, or quilting. Caring Neighborhood: Neighborhood monitoring of youth’s behavior may be perceived as a form of caring, instilling a sense of security for kids. In addition to being caring and friendly, it means holding high expectations for youth’s behavior. Research shows that youth who reside in caring neighborhoods have higher grades, better selfesteem, reduced crime, and less drug use. Ideas to develop a caring neighborhood include hosting a neighborhood celebration on the first or last day of school; organize informal activities like pick-up basketball or flash light tag; let the kids in the neighborhood know they can cut through your yard, sled on your hill, or play basketball in your driveway ( join them!). Caring School Climate: The school provides a caring and encouraging environment. The adults have high expectations for students’ success and are considered fair in dealing with youth. They are also friendly and approachable and show care and concern about the student as a person. Students feel respected and valued, and have a sense of belonging. All of this is linked to better academic performance, better mental health, and lower delinquency among adolescents. Ideas to support a caring school climate include: mutual respect of teachers and staff; talking to kids about their friends, experiences on the bus and in the lunchroom; and making a plan to solve any issues. Parent Involvement in School: Parent(s) are actively involved in helping young person succeed in school. Absolutely, parental support affects adolescents’ perceptions about their own abilities, which can enhance or stifle progress in school. Research shows that parent involvement promotes success at all grade levels. Parent involvement includes attending school functions, high expectations for the child’s success, encouraging and expressing interest in what they’re doing at school, talking about homework and school activities, ensuring a place to study, and encouraging reading. ■ www.tlc4cs.org
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sexting:
GAME OR CRIME? By TRACIE DAHL, LCPC
game of Truth or Dare can easily be taken too far. Spin the Bottle can land on over-aggressive players. However, these remembered games of adolescence have a level of nostalgic innocence that disappears when experimentation goes mobile through a text message, instant message, or chat. The ever-present role that technology plays in our day-to-day lives has now become instrumental and formative in teenage sexuality. Thus, being watchful as parents and determining the size of that role and the level of safety embedded within it has become a complicated task. It’s a topic that can be difficult or uncomfortable for parents to discuss with their children because, like some other risk behaviors, there are parents who adopt a “do as I say, not as I do,” stance on the issue. According to a 2014 report by computer security software firm McAfee, more than half of all adults have sent or received intimate content on their mobile devices. For the other fifty percent, fear of the unknown can cause either an overreaction that may stifle open discussion or a complete lack of knowledge can result in no discussion at all. What is “intimate content,” exactly? The word “sexting” is a relatively new word with just as much hype as possible significance. It has the potential to ruin political careers and yet its definition can be ambiguous and therefore ominous. Coined by putting together the words “sex” and “texting,” what, exactly, constitutes “sexting,” is not so easy to define. A common definition is “the sending of nude, suggestive, or explicitly sexual photographs by electronic means, usually text message.” However, most would agree that sexually explicit content can include messages
without photographic material. Sexual exploration has occurred for as long as teenagers have been curious about sexuality. Yet the accessibility of electronics and the potential for circulation and distribution that sexting now affords has created a response from lawmakers resulting in consequences beyond the hard lessons of regret, guilt, shame, and embarrassment that used to result from a spin of the bottle. Most states have child pornography laws that apply to sexting. In addition, federal law also criminalizes causing a minor to take part in sexually explicit conduct, or any material that otherwise constitutes child pornography. Parents who allow this behavior can also be prosecuted. (18 U.S.C. § 2251.) Depending on the state, the following are considered offenses: • photographing, filming, or videotaping a child (a person younger than 18) naked or engaging in sexual conduct • distributing photographs or images of a child naked or engaged in sexual conduct, or • possessing naked or sexual images of a child. For example, a teenager who urges a 16-year-old friend to pose for a nude photo could be convicted of making child pornography. Sending the photo to others, even other teens, constitutes distributing child pornography and anyone who possesses the image on a phone or computer is guilty of possessing child pornography. Despite laws prohibiting sexting, most enforcement agencies are hesitant to prosecute teenagers. Sexting can now generally be considered developmentally normal adolescent behavior. It has become a very real approach for teenagers and adults to develop intimacy with their significant
others. Therefore, efforts should be started early by parents to initiate ongoing, ageappropriate discussion with their children about technology and sex through honest, open, proactive conversations. While teens can’t contract an STD (sexually transmitted disease) or get pregnant from sexting, the effects can be just as far reaching when it comes to future employment opportunities, their social reputation, and feelings of overall regret resulting in guilt and shame. Since teens are impulsive and consideration must be given to the speed with which texting or instant chat conversations occur, there is often too little regard given to the very real consequences that sending nude photos via electronic means can have. Talking to teens about the facts ahead of time can be the best way to prevent them from making a decision that could have devastating effects. According to research by the Internet Watch Foundation, an estimated 88% of self-made explicit images are stolen from their original upload location (like social networking sites) and are made available on porn sites. The McAfee study also found that approximately 60% of sexts are shared or leaked. Parents should be particularly watchful for inappropriate sharing of images and compulsive and/or coercive types of behaviors, whether they occur in or outside of an electronic context. Make sure that teens and pre-teens know what sexting is and how to respond to pressure from their peers. Help kids understand the ramifications of sexting whether they are legal, social, or emotional. Teenagers will most likely continue to explore their sexuality whether playing games like Spin the Bottle or Truth or Dare, or sending sexual messages. However, the more educated and informed that they can be about their choices, the better choices they will make. ■
Tracie Dahl is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC) working as a School Based Outpatient Therapist for Intermountain in Helena, Montana. She currently works primarily with middle school aged students and families and has been working in school based counseling in Montana since 2010. Tracie holds an M.Ed. from Montana State University-Northern.
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60% Approximately
of sexts are shared or leaked Source: McAfee
BY THE
NUMBERS
Q. What should I know about Snapchat? A. Snapchat is an app that allows users to send texts, photos
and videos to people who they choose. They can also add special effects, time/weather/location, and cartoon features. Many kids think it’s safe from being seen by others because of the ten second maximum time and disappearing feature, which gives the sender a false sense of security. For this reason, bullies have taken to Snapchat, and kids who participate in sexting think it’s a safe way to send photos and videos. However, it’s possible for the viewer to take a screenshot or use tools to save a copy and share with others who were not intended to see it. In addition, forensic companies have recovered images, so youth should understand that anything sent digitally has the ability to be recovered. If a child is being bullied on Snapchat, it’s possible to block friends. For more info, visit: https://support.snapchat.com/ en-US/article/block-friends. In addition, be sure to report the abuse. If someone is at risk of harm to themselves or others, contact law enforcement immediately. If need be, the account can be deleted. Other Snapchat options include: Spectacles: Sunglasses with a built-in video camera. Glasses light up to show something is being recorded, but it’s not always obvious. Kids need to know they need to ask before recording anyone. Snapcash: A feature available to anyone over 18, but parents need to know about it so no one “borrows” their debit card. It was developed to pay someone back (for lunch or movie tickets, etc.) via Snapchat. It links a debit card and Snapchat account to make peer-to-peer payments. Snapmap: Lets Snapchat users see where their friends are, as long as friends choose to share their locations with them. It is off by default; however, if a Snap is submitted to Our Story, it may appear publicly on the map in the exact location it was taken. Once someone opts-in, whatever audience is being shared with can see the location updated, every time the Snapchat app is opened, regardless of whether a Snap is sent.
55
The percentage of Americans who know the sun is a star. www.funfactz.com
400
The number of times per day a child laughs (adults laugh only 15). www.funfactz.com
10,000
The number of variety of tomatoes. www.thefactsite.com
60
The percentage of fat in our brain, making it the fattiest organ. www.thefactsite.com
50,000
Snapstreak: Means the user and friend have Snapped each other within 24 hours for more than one consecutive day. A ???? emoji shows up next to a friend’s name. This has become an issue in school with kids not wanting to be the one to break the streak.
HAVE A QUESTION?
email: jheronema@tlc4cs.org We cannot guarantee all questions will be published; however, we will do our best to respond to all questions submitted.
The number of different scents a human nose can remember. www.thefactsite.com
18
The number of muscles in a dog’s ear. www.thefactsite.com
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Get involved with
Midland Community Television!
Volunteer and learn how to shoot, edit, produce and direct a TV show! Want to get started?
837-3474 www.cityofmidlandmi.gov/MCTV Must be 12 years or older.
Children Growing in God’s Love Nursery Care: Playing with other young friends in a nurturing environment staffed by excellent, consistent caregivers. Bible BLAST: Teaching Bible stories through games, music, science, art, and mission in a special worship and Sunday School experience. Memorial Presbyterian Preschool: www.mempres.org/mpp Movin’ Up Club: Having fun and fellowship with fourth and fifth graders. Family Fellowship: Sharing a meal and friendly conversation with families. Contact Sheryl Hnizda, MPC Children’s Ministry leader, at sherylh@mempres.org for more information. 1310 Ashman Street • Midland, Michigan • 989-835-6759 • mempres.org
Helping Families Grow and Thrive Preschool for three- and four-year-olds at four locations Childcare for children ages 12 and under After-school and summer programs for youth and teens Summer food program from the USDA for youth ages 18 and under Dow College Opportunity Program to support and mentor high school students Parent education and social services Community computer lab with Internet access Call us for details at 989.832.3256, or visit WMFC.org Located at 4011 West Isabella Rd. (M-20) 14 miles west of Downtown Midland
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TEENS AND
sleep
Reprinted with permission from www.tuck.com
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eens are young adults, but they don’t sleep like adults. Epidemiologic studies suggest that most function best with at least nine hours of nightly sleep—yet few sleep that much. Nearly 90 percent of high school students don’t get enough sleep on school nights. This is unfortunate, as teens often have intense physical and mental demands that require adequate sleep. There are serious consequences for teens who don’t sleep enough: poor grades, moodiness, obesity, drowsy driving, even an increased risk for anxiety, depression, and suicide. Founder of the Stanford Sleep Disorders Clinic, William Dement MD, PhD, warns that high school is a danger spot for sleep deprivation. Without enough sleep, teens don’t perform at optimal levels in school, sports, driving, or even in health. Teens are often not getting enough sleep due to factors beyond their control. COMMON SLEEP PROBLEMS + Demands on time: For many teens, the biggest problem with sleep is there just isn’t enough time to get more than nine hours of sleep every night. They’re balancing demands on their time, including early school hours, heavy homework loads, extracurricular activities, jobs, home responsibilities, and more. Parents should carefully examine schedules along with their teen to determine if changes can be made. + Circadian rhythm shift: When teens hit puberty, their circadian rhythm shifts to a later bedtime. Teens may be sleepy around 8:00 or 9:00 p.m. before puberty, but after puberty, they aren’t sleepy until 10:00 or 11:00 p.m. This sleep phase delay can make teens feel like they’re suffering from insomnia and make it difficult to get enough sleep. + Not enough daytime activity: Though teens are usually incredibly busy during the day, they’re often not getting enough exercise. Exercise is important for health and good sleep. + Too much screen time: Teens often spend a lot of time on screens during the day and into the night. They’re working on computers at school, texting with friends, watching TV, and doing homework. They may even take mobile devices to bed. But all of this screen time can interfere with their already confused circadian rhythms. Teens should pay attention to how much screen time they have during the day and stop using technology an hour before bed—never taking devices to bed.
HELPFUL SLEEP TIPS + Maintain calm before bed: It can be tough to wind down from a busy day, but it’s important for teens to do so. Making the hour before bed a calm time can help teens get into a more sleepy mindset and make it easier to fall asleep. + Regular sleep time: Sleep thrives on routine, so teens should try to keep a regular sleep time, even on the weekends. + Limit evening activities during the week: Teens can quickly become overwhelmed with weeknight activities that keep them wired and up well past their bedtime—even cutting into homework time, so they have no choice but to stay up late to finish it. Carefully consider evening activities, including sports, extracurricular activities, work, and home responsibilities, and how they have an effect on everyday sleep habits. + Make bedrooms calm and comfortable: Like younger children as well as adults, teens need bedrooms that are calm, cool, dark, and comfortable. Make sure they have a good mattress, soft bedding, and a healthy sleep environment free of distractions. + Maintain a regular exercise routine: Teens should make sure they’re getting enough physical activity every day. Experts recommend at least 30 minutes of activity every day for good sleep and overall good health. + Keep lights low at night: Before bed, keep lights low in order to signal to the brain that it’s just about time to go to sleep. And in the morning, let bright lights in to signal the start of the day and alert time. + Limit caffeine use: Too much caffeine can leave teens wired, especially in the evenings. Encourage teens to avoid consuming too much caffeine during the day and stop caffeine consumption after 4:00 p.m., including sodas and chocolate. + Consider the effect of medication on sleep cycles: Some medications, such as Ritalin or Adderall, can cause insomnia. Talk with your doctor about any medications and the best time to take them. + Discourage smoking, alcohol, and drugs: Teens should always avoid smoking, alcohol, and drug use. But it is especially important that teens avoid these substances for their sleep health. They can interfere with a teen’s ability to fall asleep, stay asleep, or get restful sleep. + Reduce anxiety: Teens often suffer from serious stress and anxiety, especially as they navigate increasingly complicated personal relationships and the stresses of school. For many teens, stress and anxiety aren’t going away—and they can interfere with healthy sleep. Teens can reduce the negative effects of stress and anxiety by practicing stress relieving exercises, including meditation, yoga, and prayer. + Catch up on sleep over the weekend—within reason: While teens should try to maintain a regular sleep schedule every day of the week, weekends do present an opportunity to catch up on a few hours of sleep missed over the course of the week. Teens can safely add a couple extra hours of sleep on weekend mornings— but be careful not to overdo it. Sleeping in too late all weekend can make it difficult to wake up on Monday morning. ■
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THE LEGACY CENTER Opioid Education: Preventing Future Tragedies By JENNIFER HERONEMA Note: Opiates are drugs that are derived from opium. At one time, opioids referred to synthetic opiates only (drugs created to mimic opium, however different chemically). Now opioid is used to describe the entire family of opiates including natural, synthetic and semi-synthetic. The Legacy Center and its affiliate, the Community Alliance 4 Youth Success, lead youth prevention efforts in Midland County. They carry out this work through prescription drug take back events (Dump Your Drugs), community presentations, town hall meetings and school-based education programs. By now you know that opioid addiction has reached epidemic proportions in our community. Many of us know someone who has been personally impacted by this crisis. Overdose victims are getting younger and younger. Some of them were barely out of high school when they overdosed. The Legacy Center is collaborating with Midland Public Schools (MPS) to bring an Opioid Education Program to high school athletes (and parents) this year. Most of the fall athletes have completed the program, and winter/ spring athletes will participate during those seasons. In addition to MPS athletes, we are working with Health & Wellness teachers at MPS, Coleman, Meridian and Bullock Creek schools to deliver the program in those classes this year. Our goal is to educate students about the dangers of prescription opioids so they don’t become tomorrow’s tragedies.
To further enhance the program, community members who have lost someone to opioid overdose or are in recovery themselves share their personal stories. Through these stories, students are learning how quickly someone’s life can spiral out of control. We’d like to extend our sincere thanks to Eric Albright and John Streeter, Athletic Directors for Midland and Dow High, respectively. When we approached them last spring, they immediately understood the need to educate their athletes about opioids.
The program, called This is Not About Drugs, has two tracks, one for student athletes, the other for the general student population. We want to educate as many students as possible, but athletes are of particular Reaction to the program has been very positive—from coaches, students and parents. The coaches have concern to us, because they are more likely to be responded enthusiastically, and we’re pleased to say prescribed a painkiller (opiate) for a sports injury. that we’ve spoken to nearly all of the fall athletic teams The one-hour program consists of several components: to date. Additional materials will be provided to the coaches in the next few months, and then we’ll start The difference between opioids and opiates the process all over again. Current statistics (national, state, local) What is addiction and what does it look like (video) Lastly, we’d like to thank our cadre of presenters who Pathways to addiction have volunteered their time to make a difference in the From Athlete to Addict/This is Not About Drugs lives of our local kids. We couldn’t do this without you! (videos) Managing pain from a sports injury Jennifer Heronema is President/CEO of The Legacy Center What to ask the doctor about pain meds for Community Success. She can be reached via email at What overdose looks like jheronema@tlc4cs.org or by calling (989) 496-1425. Where to find help
Content Provided Especially for Your Community
INHALANTS:
toxins, not drugs By LINDA COLLINS, Prevention Specialist
ccording to the 2015 Monitoring the Future survey done of American 8th, 10th, and 12th graders, 9.4% of 8th graders reported ever using inhalants. In this country, approximately 100 teens die per year from inhalant abuse. The scary fact is it can happen the first time, most commonly from Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome. Inhalants refer to the various substances that people typically take only by inhaling. They include: Solvents – industrial or household products including: paint thinners or removers, dry-cleaning fluids, gasoline, and lighter fluid. Art or office supply solvents including: correction fluids, felt-tip marker fluid, electronic contact cleaners, and glue. Aerosol sprays – household aerosol items including: spray paints, hair or deodorant sprays, aerosol computer cleaning products, and vegetable oil sprays. Gases – found in household or commercial products including: butane lighters, propane tanks, and whipped cream aerosols (whippets). And those used as anesthesia like ether, chloroform, and nitrous oxide. Nitrites – often sold in small brown bottles labeled as video head cleaner, room odorizer, and leather cleaner.
Inhalants are easily bought and found at home. They contain dangerous substances that have mind-altering properties when inhaled. They are mostly used by teens and is the only class of substance used more by young teens than older ones. Kids use these inhalants by sniffing or snorting fumes from a container, spraying aerosols directly into the nose or mouth, “huffing” from a chemical-soaked rag in the mouth, sniffing or inhaling fumes from chemicals sprayed or put inside a plastic or paper bag (bagging), or inhaling from balloons filled with nitrous oxide, often called laughing gas. The high usually only lasts a few minutes, but the process can be repeated over and over to extend the high. Most inhalants affect the central nervous system and slow down brain activity. Short-term effects are similar to alcohol and include: slurred or distorted speech, lack of coordination, euphoria, and dizziness. People may also have hallucinations or delusions. With repeated inhalations, many people feel less self-conscious and less in control. Some may start vomiting, feel drowsy for several hours, or have a headache that lasts a while. Inhaling concentrated amounts of these chemicals can cause heart failure, suffocation, convulsions, seizures, coma, even death. Repeated use may cause addiction. It’s important to remember that inhalants aren’t drugs; they’re poisons and toxins. It’s important to discuss the dangers with kids. For more information, visit: www.inhalants.org/about.htm. ■
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Feeling sad, confused, hopeless?
Don't know what to do?
It's OK to “Ask4Help!” 1-800-273-TALK Text Line 741741 de m f Suici arb@aol.co o s r o v osb urvi d by S fo contact s e r o s Spon or in nings i a r t yellowribbon.org r Fo
The game of life isn’t all child’s play. It can be cruel. Others can hurt you. They steal your innocence. It makes you ache inside. You hide your heart. You seek out other ways to stop the pain. If your alcohol or drug use is due to trauma in your life, consider calling us for help. We will help you safely come out of hiding, and recover your hopes & dreams. For confidential help, please call 631 - 0241.
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WHAT IF EVERYONE REACHED THEIR FULL POTENTIAL? LIVE UNITED United Way of Midland County invests in programs that support the health, education and self-sufficiency needs of every person in our community. We are more than fundraisers. We are hand-raisers. We raise our hands not only to lead the fight, but to meet the needs of every person in our community. Learn more at unitedwaymidland.org.
Parenting Today’s Teens Town Hall Series - Fall 2017 Marijuana Legalization: Are We Sure? Kevin A. Sabet, PhD Sept. 21, 2017 5:30 to 7:00 p.m. Grace A. Dow Memorial Library
We believe that every youth deserves the chance to reach their full potential.
Developing Protective Factors in Youth Pam Singer, Research Associate The Legacy Center for Community Success October 26, 2017 6:30 to 8:00 p.m. Grace A. Dow Memorial Library
The Adolescent Brain: How it Works Dr. Erin Smith, PhD Partners in Change November 16, 2017 Grace A. Dow Memorial Library These events are free, but registration is required at www.drugfreemidland.org/events.
The Legacy Center 3200 James Savage Rd, Suite 5 Midland MI 48642 (989) 496-1425 www.tlc4cs.org
An affiliate of The Legacy Center
These programs are funded, in part, by the following organization:
The Legacy Center for Community Success 3200 James Savage Road, Suite 5 Midland, MI 48642
SUPPORT FOR
LOCAL ATHLETES
PLAY TIME WITH DAD In addition to injury prevention, MidMichigan Health’s WellSport program is designed to help expedite the assessment, referral and treatment of athletes of all ages suffering from strains, sprains, contusions, fractures, joint injuries and concussions. The program focuses on injury prevention through education and training, helping injured athletes return to play as safely and quickly as possible, and managing medical conditions that can affect performance.
For more information, visit midmichigan.org/wellsport or call (989) 837-9350.
