Bingeing on Dopamine
Embracing Spring Fever » How Many Times to Discuss Underage Drinking » Why Ignoring Mental Health in Teens Can Lead to Addiction
Magic
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Tristan Hill is an ambitious 8th grader at Helena Middle School, where he excels academically by taking honors math and Spanish courses for high school credit. Aside from participating in the PEAK program, Tristan is also a standout member of the school’s MathCounts team; he recently helped secure second place at the regional competition in Great Falls, where he also earned second place in the individual speed round.
Outside the classroom, Tristan is an avid athlete, participating in cross-country and track, and enjoys mountain biking with the Cyclones during the fall season and skiing with family in the winter. With a strong passion for both academics and sports, Tristan is dedicated to pushing himself to new heights in all areas of his life.
ON THE COVER ABOUT YOUTH CONNECTIONS
Youth Connections is a coalition of over 1100 community members representing parents, educators, churches, youthserving organizations, businesses, and more who want to make Helena a healthy and supportive place for kids and families. Youth Connections recognizes the need to reduce negative behaviors including substance use and violence while also working to increase positive opportunities and mental wellness for all our local kids.
So how do we do that? We know there is no silver bullet to making communities great, and so we do LOTS of things that we know make communities better. We support agencies and businesses who offer youth activities because we know kids who are involved in positive activities aren’t involved in negative ones. We support student mentoring relationships because research shows it helps kids stay in school and be successful. We also know that when kids know better, they do better, so we support classroom education in the areas of bullying prevention and substance use prevention. Youth Connections also understands we must support the adults in kids’ lives and therefore we provide training, education, networks, and collaborative opportunities for parents and professionals to connect with others who care about kids.
Youth Connections is well known for its quarterly publication, YC Magazine, a resource for parents and the entire community. These are just some of the projects we’re working on to serve our mission of engaging our community to create environments where youth thrive and succeed. For a comprehensive list of activities, services, and ways you can get involved, please visit our website at www.youthconnectionscoalition.org.
elcome to the March issue!
The magazine committee worked hard to develop a slate of articles to help parents address issues that may surface this time of year. Kids have been locked inside far too long, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel where school is concerned, and the days are getting longer – yay!
The committee was also cognizant of it being the time of year with proms and spring break when we see an increase in underage drinking. There is so much research available now, that wasn’t when we were adolescents, about the dangers of alcohol on the developing brain. We’re lucky to have our friends at Natural High share their content that addresses this very important issue. It is critical that parents set the expectation of no alcohol. The longer we can delay their first drink, the better off they will be.
Dr. Tim Elmore does a wonderful job of explaining what dopamine does to the brain in our feature article. These are unprecedented times and it’s affecting us and our kids. A book that further explains this is Dopamine Nation, by Anna Lembke, M.D. She says the smart phone is the modern-day hypodermic needle. It’s a great read!
We are excited to highlight a new writer for the magazine, Meghan Stewart. She is a therapist at Shodair and shares insight on what cutting is, what to look for, and what parents can do to stop it. Fun fact: she’s also my daughter.
One of our magazine committee members took on the task of writing our article on embracing spring fever. Get those kids outside – and join them! It’s good for everyone’s physical and mental health!
We’re always looking for ideas of articles. If there is a topic you’d like more information on, please email. You can bet someone else has the same burning question!
CAN’T GET ENOUGH GREAT RESOURCES? FOLLOW US:
Facebook (for parents): Youth Connections
Facebook (for kids): Find Your Spot
Instagram: @Youthconx
X: @Youthconx
COLEEN SMITH
CONFESSIONS FROM THE KITCHEN TABLE
Building Your Support Team
Life is full of challenges. On any given day, there are all kinds of dragons to fight and battles to be won. All these challenges can affect our mental and physical health. How do we find support and care so we can live our happily ever after? It is important to build a strong Network of Care so that you can not only survive but flourish.
People are multi-faceted, and our well-being depends on far more than just our physical health. A Network of Care can include elements like medical providers, doctors, counselors, friends, family, chosen family, church, the workplace, social groups, and many others. It is good practice to have a general practitioner that you see annually for check-ups and other non-emergency issues. But don’t let this important responsibility fall to just whoever happens to have room in their appointment books. I recently had an initial appointment with a new medical provider, and I left her office weeping tears of joy. I had never felt so heard, understood, and validated by a provider in my life. She was kind, knowledgeable, and compassionate. Needless to say, I have officially made her my new doctor and will be going back.
I had a similar experience finding a counselor. I have tried a few, but finally, finding the right one and sharing my emotional baggage with an unbiased professional has changed my life. My wish for you is that you also find a medical provider and counselor that gives you the time and space to communicate your medical and emotional needs.
A Network of Care is more than the right counselor or doctor. Both ancient wisdom and recent research tells us that health is attributed to so much more than good mental and medical care. In 2004 a National Geographic team set out to study areas of the world where people live the longest and are the happiest. One of their key findings is that to stay healthier for longer, it is crucial to have strong social connections. Having social connections can look different for everyone. For some, spending time with family is where it’s at.
Others build a ‘chosen family’ out of close friends who share the same beliefs and values. Some folks turn to their faith community for meaningful connections. If you have a positive rapport at work, you may discover a ‘work family.’ Or maybe it’s the gang you met at game night at the local coffee shop. A strong social group and familial-like connection can be built in many different ways. The important part is that you have people who can laugh with you, cry with you, help care for you when you are sick, and help you move your oversized couch up a flight of stairs. Whoever they are and however you find them, these people not only improve your quality of life but can extend the length of your life.
However, finding our people is not always easy. You may be asking: How do I even start? How do I find a good doctor, a helpful counselor, or a group of friends? It can be difficult to build a Network of Care, and it does take patience. As much as you can, get clear about the kind of person you are and what you value. Aim to build a Network of Care that echoes your values. Author and researcher Brene Brown says, “True belonging does not require us to change who we are. True belonging requires us to be who we are.” Don’t be afraid to walk away from new relationships with doctors, counselors, or friends if you can’t be yourself. Don’t settle for a dismissive doctor because the clinic is only a block away from home. Don’t hang out with untrustworthy people out of loneliness. Don’t change or compromise your beliefs just to fit in to a new church or social community. This is not true belonging. Don’t settle. Instead, branch out and take safe risks, like sitting at a new lunch table, going to a new book group at the library, asking an acquaintance who they see for medical care. Ask around and keep asking. In some ways, building a Network of Care is a lot like dating. As the old saying goes, “You might have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.”
Once you find your dream doctor, your charming counselor, or your bespoke besties, you are more prepared to fight the hard battles and to live your happily ever after. ■
YOU CAN SUBMIT YOUR STORY AT: coleen@youthconnectionscoalition.org
For many of us the kitchen table represents the typical family experience. We have laughed while having family game night. We have cried over our children’s choices. We have blown out the candles on many cakes. We have argued our way out of doing the dishes. We have struggled through those “three more bites.” We have learned hard lessons and celebrated many deserved successes. One thing is for sure though—if our kitchen tables could talk, there would be plenty of stories! So often it is in relating to others’ stories that we realize there isn’t always one answer, or even a right answer. Parenting is hard work! If you have a story of lessons learned, we invite you to share it with our readers. Sometimes, knowing we aren’t the only ones struggling to find the answer is all the help we need.
DOPAMINE bingeing
DOPAMINE bingeing on
Dr. TIM ELMORE
Our kids today are growing up in a world where they can become addicted to happy chemicals. We live in a society that loves to “binge” on things we like. It may be addictions to drugs or alcohol, but it can also be simple pleasures like Netflix, TikTok, or even junk food.
Stanford University research psychiatrist Anna Lembke recently revealed her studies on this topic in a book called Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence. She explores the brain’s connection between pleasure and pain. There’s a sort of “seesaw” or “teeter-totter” inside our brains that goes up and down, releasing chemicals we need to remain stable. People become unhealthy with too much pleasure or too much pain. Each day, week, and month, the seesaw goes up and down as our brain attempts to bring balance to our lives.
The bottom line is, when we seek out pleasures on a nonstop basis, whether legal or illegal, we mess with the neurochemistry of our brain. Paradoxically, the more we chase pleasures, the more the brain tries to compensate, leaving us in a dopamine-depleted state. Feeling low, we consume something pleasurable, so our brains will release more dopamine. We feel happy. If we have easy access to the stimuli, we can binge on it, disrupting our dopamine levels. For example, drug use impairs dopamine to the point that the brain can seek out that substance over anything else. We must choose to stop. In recovery, dopamine won’t heal on its own, but the levels must be reset by introducing healthy daily behaviors into our routine.
OUR INTERNAL TEETER-TOTTER
Our brains have natural ways to keep us chemically balanced. The happy chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, and oxytocin enter our systems as the brain sees fit, like a teeter-totter. When one side goes up, our brain compensates and sends the other side down and vice versa. When we decide to go running for three to four miles, that can be an unpleasant experience. After a while, our brain recognizes this and releases a chemical that balances out the discomfort. That’s why after a good run, we feel good. It’s called a “runner’s high.” Our problem is—in our day, we can hinder our brain’s balancing act.
Now that we’ve migrated into an “on-demand” world where we can determine what, when, and how much content we consume, people have become addicted to the dopamine squirts from the neurotransmitters in their brains and often feel they cannot stop:
• Drugs
• Alcohol
• Prescription meds
• Netflix, gaming, etc.
Let’s face it. We are pleasure-seekers today. We have more leisure time than past generations since so much has been automated
I Feel...
and mechanized by technology and machines. Our lives are now easier, faster, and more convenient than ever before. With our extra time, we’ve needed to become better at moderating our search for pleasure and ease. But we have not. Our day is filled with experiences that are instant access, on-demand, and mostly free.
HOW WE’VE CHANGED IN OUR LIFETIME
Twenty-plus years ago, global studies showed that the happiest people in the world were those who lived in industrialized nations who had plenty to eat, wear, and enjoy. Ten to twelve years ago, we reached a tipping point where these rich nations became less happy than poor nations. Today, people who live in low-income areas are often happier than those who are rich. It doesn’t make sense—unless you consider our inability to manage our dopamine levels.
This reality creates the paradox of pleasure. We enjoy so much more than past generations did that we no longer feel the “plenty” and need more. It’s the “Law of Diminishing Returns.” Here’s a simple analogy. When I first started dating my wife, we both felt our relationship was special. Just holding hands produced increased dopamine. After a while, holding hands was fine, but we both wanted more.
It is natural for both adults and kids to seek pleasurable experiences—from ice cream to funny YouTube videos to trips to Disney World. As I’ve suggested, however, bingeing on these pleasures throws our dopamine levels off, big time. We find it hard to abstain from simple pleasures that our great-grandparents found easy to resist. Why? They had no choice, and we do. We must choose well.
For now, may I suggest you commit yourself to reducing artificial stimulants in your life, like those bad habits you try to hide from others, or even legal addictions like bingeing on Netflix shows. In their place, expand natural stimulations like exercise, reading, exploring, and inperson relationships. Be intentional with your life instead of reactionary.
So, what do we do with this intoxication with dopamine?
DETOX AND MODERATION
Dr. Anna Lembke recommends a dopamine detox. We can be addicted to dopamine squirts that we have created. A true dopamine detox is impossible because the brain continues to produce dopamine all the time. However, refraining from activities that stem from impulse and compulsion may prove beneficial for short periods of time. Dr. Lembke even talks about her own addiction to romance novels. She tried quitting for a month, then went back to reading them. A month wasn’t enough for her. She needed to fast from them for several months for her dopamine to not need a dose of the novels. This can be true of pornography, drugs, alcohol, you name it. Even if you feel you’re not consuming something addictive, you can be addicted to the dopamine it fosters in your system. Our brains actually know how to create healthy levels—if we practice moderation. We must be disciplined and lead ourselves well. The key paradox? Do something you don’t like—and you’ll begin to like yourself more.
WHAT DO WE DO?
Dr. Lembke calls this return to moderation self-binding techniques. People create both literal and cognitive barriers between our extreme pleasures and our consumption of them. For example, we can choose to not have the substance in the house, whether it’s cookies, potato chips, drugs or anything else. We might call this the limits of space. Some people establish such limits when they travel.
They call ahead and ask the hotel to remove the mini bar from their room, so they don’t have access to the alcohol or the snacks they are vulnerable to consuming. They also might put things in a kitchen safe and make sure they don’t know the combination; only their spouse does.
Here’s what our generation needs to understand. Our brains will naturally maintain a sense of happiness or contentment if we practice discipline and moderation. The brain will send whatever is missing and bring balance. When we work hard or exercise hard, it likely feels uncomfortable or even painful, so our brain sends dopamine into our system. We feel good after a hard workout or a long but productive workday. This is a natural way to feel pleasure. Let your brain do what it does naturally. Don’t inject artificial pleasures and binge on them.
The key is to recover the power of managing ourselves through moderation.
NINE WAYS TO NATURALLY ENJOY HEALTHY DOPAMINE LEVELS:
1) Identify where you overindulge in something. Write down your plan to avoid it.
2) Get 7-8 hours of sleep at night to normalize dopamine levels.
3) Avoid junk food and maintain a healthy diet to increase dopamine levels.
4) Exercise regularly to increase dopamine.
5) Spend time outside (for vitamin D) and decrease times when you are sedentary.
6) Meditation and prayer increase our abilities for discipline and mental strength.
7) Engage in healthy, pleasurable activities in moderation.
8) Take magnesium to raise and balance dopamine levels.
9) Invite accountability from someone who knows your goal of balance.
Let’s double-click on two of these. First, exercise speeds up the process by which the brain’s dopamine receptors return to their normal state; once they’ve recovered, one suffering from an addiction is in a much better place to kick their habit because they can once again experience a “high” naturally and are no longer dependent on the substance for pleasure.
Second, there is power in moderation. Both Socrates and Hesiod taught “moderation is best in all things.” The Greek word for moderation meant to restrain our passions, general soberness of living, being free from all excesses. These statements challenge us to moderate our consumption and habits so that we can enjoy balance. In short, we must discipline ourselves so someone else doesn’t have to.
I’ve met teens who “fast” from social media for a while or at least curb their appetites for it. They are masters, not slaves to technology. The same can be done with Tik Tok or Netflix or any other platform. These platforms are designed to nudge us to binge or feed the dopamine squirts. They rob us of our balance. We must take back control of our lives from these thieves.
As a kid, I remember gorging on cotton candy at an amusement park. I ate what my parents got me, then I finished my two sisters’ cotton candy as well. In the moment, I was as happy as a clam. Not long afterward, I regretted it. I paid a price for my cravings. This is how life works. Play now, pay later. Pay now, play later. I had to learn to curb my appetite for dopamine. Let’s help ourselves and our kids to do the same. ■
About The Author: Tim Elmore is an international speaker and best-selling author of more than 30 books, including Generation iY: The Secrets to Connecting With Teens & Young Adults in the Digital Age, Artificial Maturity: Helping Kids Meet the Challenges of Becoming Authentic Adults, the Habitudes® series, and 12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid. He is founder and president of Growing Leaders, an organization equipping today’s young people to become the leaders of tomorrow. Sign up to receive Tim’s blog at www.growingleaders.com/blog and get more information on Growing Leaders at www.GrowingLeaders.com and @GrowingLeaders @TimElmore. Used with permission. All content contained within this article is the property of Growing Leaders, Inc. and is protected by international copyright laws, and may not be reproduced, republished, distributed, transmitted, displayed, broadcast or otherwise exploited in any manner without the express prior written permission of Growing Leaders. Growing Leaders, Inc. names and logos and all related trademarks, tradenames, and other intellectual property are the property of Growing Leaders and cannot be used without its express prior written permission.
Check out who’s standing out in our community.
IS THERE SOMEONE YOU’D LIKE TO NOMINATE?
Please email coleen@youthconnectionscoalition.org and tell us why this individual has stood out in your crowd.
Carter Wilson JIM DARCY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, 4TH GRADE
Carter is an energetic 4th grade student at Jim Darcy Elementary. His kind heart shines through in his friendships and his role as a caring older brother to his two younger sisters. He is a dedicated Webelo in Cub Scouts and has a goal of becoming an Eagle Scout. Carter has a love of the outdoors, adventures, and learning. He is actively involved in 4-H, and will be raising his second pig for the fair this summer. He enjoys skiing at Great Divide, football, wrestling, hunting, fishing, and archery. Carter’s favorite downtime activity is building with Legos and reading. His faith brings him joy and peace, and he looks forward to attending Mass at Our Lady of the Valley Catholic Church.
Stori Holzer HELENA HIGH SCHOOL, 10TH GRADE
Astoria Holzer (nickname “Stori”) is a sophomore at Helena High School. She is active in HHS’s Outdoors Club which hikes local trails, goes sledding and climbs at Stone Tree Climbing Center. On Wednesday evenings she goes Life Covenant Church’s Youth Group (Voltage). For the 2024 season, she joined HHS’s Cross Country team and discovered a terrific community of kind teammates. She likes to recharge by reading, drawing on her ipad, and painting gifts for friends. 1889 for coffee or the Big Dipper for ice cream are her favorites places to go with friends. She’s a dedicated student, thoughtful friend, and has a hilarious sense of humor describing her parents’ foibles.
KC Moore
PROJECT FOR ALTERNATIVE LEARNING, 12TH GRADE
KC has thrived in many areas of her life since coming to PAL. She is pursuing drivers’ education, has a steady job and has worked her way into the possibility of a shift lead position. She has been extremely driven as an expectant mother to be and taken parenting classes for several months. Her ability to balance the commitments with school, work and living independently are only a few of the many traits that make KC a standout person. Academically, she is scheduled to complete her high school credits ahead of time compared to her peers and earned numerous “A” grades as a student. We are proud to have KC as a student at PAL and are excited for her future after high school.
Reach Higher Montana COMMUNITY PARTNER
Reach Higher Montana is an organization dedicated to supporting Montana students and families in achieving their educational and career goals. Known for its commitment to fostering access to post-secondary education, Reach Higher Montana offers a wide range of resources, from financial aid guidance and scholarship opportunities to college and career planning. They provide workshops, one-on-one support, and offer a robust online website with tools to help students and parents navigate the complexities of education, career pathways, and financial planning. Reach Higher Montana efforts empower Montana students to dream big and achieve higher, ensuring brighter futures for generations to come.
ASSETS
40 Developmental Assets are essential qualities of life that help young people thrive, do well in school, and avoid risky behavior.
Youth Connections utilizes the 40 Developmental Assets Framework to guide the work we do in promoting positive youth development. The 40 Assets model was developed by the Minneapolis-based Search Institute based on extensive research. Just as we are coached to diversify our financial assets so that all our eggs are not in one basket, the strength that the 40 Assets model can build in our youth comes through diversity. In a nutshell, the more of the 40 Assets youth possess, the more likely they are to exhibit positive behaviors and attitudes (such as good health and school success) and the less likely they are to exhibit risky behaviors (such as drug use and promiscuity). It’s that simple: if we want to empower and protect our children, building the 40 Assets in our youth is a great way to start.
Look over the list of Assets on the following page and think about what Assets may be lacking in our community and what Assets you can help build in our young people. Do what you can do with the knowledge that even through helping build one asset in one child, you are increasing the chances that child will grow up safe and successful. Through our combined efforts, we will continue to be a place where Great Kids Make Great Communities.
assets in action 40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS
SUPPORT
1. Family support: Family life provides high levels of love and support.
2. Positive family communication: Young person and her or his parent(s) communicate positively, and young person is willing to seek advice and counsel from parent(s).
3. Other adult relationships: Young person receives support from three or more nonparent adults.
4. Caring neighborhood: Young person experiences caring neighbors.
5. Caring school climate: School provides a caring, encouraging environment.
6. Parent involvement in school: Parent(s) are actively involved in helping young person succeed in school.
EMPOWERMENT
7. Community values youth: Young person perceives that adults in the community value youth.
8. Youth as resources: Young people are given useful roles in the community.
9. Service to others: Young person serves in the community one hour or more per week.
10. Safety: Young person feels safe at home, at school, and in the neighborhood.
BOUNDARIES & EXPECTATIONS
11. Family boundaries: Family has clear rules and consequences and monitors the young person’s whereabouts.
12. School boundaries: School provides clear rules and consequences.
13. Neighborhood boundaries: Neighbors take responsibility for monitoring young people’s behavior.
14. Adult role models: Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible behavior.
15. Positive peer influence: Young person’s best friends model responsible behavior.
16. High expectations: Both parent(s) and teachers encourage the young person to do well.
CONSTRUCTIVE USE OF TIME
17. Creative activities: Young person spends three or more hours per week in lessons or practice in music, theater, or other arts.
18. Youth programs: Young person spends three or more hours per week in sports, clubs, or organizations at school and/or in the community.
19. Religious community: Young person spends one or more hours per week in activities in a religious institution.
20. Time at home: Young person is out with friends “with nothing special to do” two or fewer nights per week.
Cub Scout Packs help with posting colors at school assembly
Helena Athletic Club athletes enjoying a break during competition
Boy Scouts help pack up after Festival of Trees
Family enjoying movie night at Smith School
If you or your child would like to submit a picture that represents one of the 40 Developmental Assets, please email coleen@youthconnectionscoalition.org with a picture and the number of the asset the picture represents.
COMMITMENT TO LEARNING
21. Achievement motivation: Young person is motivated to do well in school.
22. School engagement: Young person is actively engaged in learning.
23. Homework: Young person reports doing at least one hour of homework every school day.
24. Bonding to school: Young person cares about her or his school.
25. Reading for pleasure: Young person reads for pleasure three or more hours per week.
POSITIVE VALUES
26. Caring: Young person places high value on helping other people.
27. Equality and social justice: Young person places high value on promoting equality and reducing hunger and poverty.
28. Integrity: Young person acts on convictions and stands up for her or his beliefs.
29. Honesty: Young person “tells the truth even when it is not easy.”
30. Responsibility: Young person accepts and takes personal responsibility.
31. Restraint: Young person believes it is important not to be sexually active or to use alcohol or other drugs.
SOCIAL COMPETENCIES
32. Planning and decision making: Young person knows how to plan ahead and make choices.
33. Interpersonal competence: Young person has empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills.
34. Cultural competence: Young person has knowledge of and comfort with people of different cultural/racial/ethnic backgrounds.
35. Resistance skills: Young person can resist negative peer pressure and dangerous situations.
36. Peaceful conflict resolution: Young person seeks to resolve conflict nonviolently.
POSITIVE IDENTITY
37. Personal power: Young person feels he or she has control over “things that happen to me.”
38. Self-esteem: Young person reports having a high self-esteem.
39. Sense of purpose: Young person reports that “my life has a purpose.”
40. Positive view of personal future: Young person is optimistic about her or his personal future.
Helena Middle School students making cool stuff in MakerSpace
EHHS members of the Business Professionals of America state qualifiers National Guard shares opportunities in STEM
SPRING FEVER Embracing
By KELLY KANDER, LCPC
Spring is in the air, the sun is shining, the days are getting longer, and the thoughts of young brains everywhere seem to have drifted out the window, far away from any classroom. Spring fever has set in leaving parents and teachers pulling out their hair to figure out how to engage those checked- out minds. Crossing the finish line of this race seems impossible, but with some plans in place, not only can it be done, but it can also be enjoyed with great fun and enthusiasm!
It is easy to allow spring fever to sneak up and pounce when the parental guard is down, leaving parents without a plan and without time to give much thought action. This, of course, creates a defensive parental posture which will typically lead to giving up or becoming the dreadful drill sergeant who is all work and no play. In preparation for this time, communication is especially important. Ask what each child loves the most as the season changes, taking time to listen closely to the answers. Transition to allowing each child to consider his/her struggles that prevent a strong finish to school, activities, and home contributions. It may be surprising that children differ in their struggles so parents should not try to slap on a one- size fits-all solution to the spring fever dilemma.
First, as with most times of transition, consistency is an important key for everyone involved. Remembering that all children, including teens, need healthy adult supervision is essential to standing firm with a loving attitude. Sleeping and eating well are included in basic consistency throughout the lifespan. A minimum of eight hours or consistent and quality sleep helps the brain and body to reset, restore, and recall most efficiently. Also keep in mind that with sleep comes the discipline of turning off technology (TV, computer, and phone screens) at least 90 minutes before lights out. The light from these devices mimics sunlight causing a delay in necessary restorative sleep cycles. Secondly, take a step on the wild side and mix up the routine a little. Notice, this is not a contradiction to consistency but allows for
IDEAS TO MIX UP THE FUN FOR SPRING
Not warm enough for a picnic? Have one in the living room – complete with a blanket and paper plates.
Plant some seeds in starter pots that can be planted in the garden when it warms up.
Get rid of old, tired school supplies. Buy new springcolored pencils, erasers, notebooks. School is more fun with new things.
Develop a calendar with holidays and events that kids can look forward to and visualize that they’re in the home stretch.
Leave notes on mirrors telling kids how great they are and encouraging them to finish strong.
some creative flexibility in accomplishing daily tasks. For instance, indulge in the great outdoors that are calling by moving homework time a little later in the day, or move homework time outside to embrace the benefits of fresh air and sunshine. Include a healthy amount of social time with friends so that the rewards of spring are not forsaken but instead are embraced. Robbing free time can worsen spring fever symptoms as
children long for some control in their lives and their schedules. Include activities that are limited by winter and more enjoyable as the weather warms up like bike rides, hikes, frisbee, and leisurely walks. Have fun, enjoy, and indulge a little!
Finally, keeping in mind “The Big Picture” allows for peace of mind and perspective on spring fever. This is where some fun goal setting and incentive planning can come into play in a way that is not reduced to destructive bribery. Ask kids how they want to finish school strong. Help them set specific, measurable goals to encourage them through this time. It is the child’s ownership in goal setting that gives it proper motivation. In addition to setting the goals, allow kids to create their own incentives as well. This does not equate to big ticket items, money, and grandiose trips. Make a weekend plan for some added fun, give them a foot rub on Friday night for reaching all the deadlines of the week, plan a special dinner for passing the exam s/he studied so hard to pass. Involve the kids to creatively establish meaningful incentives to acknowledge little goals made along the way. However, choose the wording carefully because incentives can easily turn into bribes. For a kid who has decided that 30-60 extra minutes of video games for the weekend would be the incentive of choice, use “I think indulging extra video game time sounds like a reasonable reward for your hard work this week. I know you can do it!” This statement is much different than a parent saying, “If you turn in all your assignments this week, you can have 30 extra minutes of gaming on Friday.”Remember, little accomplishments along the way can be celebrated as long as they are reasonably proportionate to the goals. Furthermore, not all goals need an incentive. Again, we are celebrating hard work, dedication and perseverance, not every action of the child.
After communicating and planning with active participation from the kids, a proper plan can be created to fully enjoy all that spring brings. Spring fever will not necessarily go away, but it will be embraced in a new and refreshing way! ■
UNDERAGE DRINKING How Many Times to Discuss
By NATURAL HIGH STAFF
Most kids grow up and never see drug use personally. Sure, they hear references on TV and movies, they might even hear about relatives or neighbors who’ve abused drugs, but mostly it’s something that happens ‘out there’.
Alcohol consumption is quite different. Most kids grow up seeing adult role models who drink, so how do we help them navigate healthy choices when they get mixed messages?
Teens are more prone to engaging in risky behaviors. Their brains aren’t fully developed, they have a unique thirst for dopamine, and they crave acceptance from their peers. To make it even worse, alcohol is easily the most accessible substance — way more than illicit drugs. And it is socially acceptable for adults to drink; it’s a normalized behavior.
A common view is that youth drinking is the norm, but most young people actually do not drink. Research shows that young people tend to overestimate how much their peers drink. This increases the risk that they will drink to ‘be normal’ or be like their peers. When their desire to fit in overrides their caution or personal values, they can make life-altering decisions with substances without realizing what they’re doing. We can intervene and educate them so they’re able to understand and make wiser choices.
TEENS AND ALCOHOL USE
• Kids who delay their first drink of alcohol as long as possible will have an infinitely higher likelihood of avoiding a lifelong struggle with alcohol.
• Using drugs and alcohol at an early age has been associated with multiple problems later in life such as negative health, social, and behavioral outcomes.
• Research has found that over 40% of all individuals who reported drinking alcohol before the age of 15 became alcohol dependent at 4x the rate of those who first reported drinking at ages 20+.
• First use of alcohol at ages 11–14 greatly heightens the risk of progression to the development of alcohol disorders.
• 90% of addictions start in adolescence.
Numerous studies have shown that kids whose parents let them drink before they reach the legal age of 21 are more likely to drink in riskier ways and experience future alcohol-related problems than kids whose parents do not permit any underage drinking.
• Alcohol affects the parts of the brain responsible for self-control. Given their inclination for risky behavior, alcohol consumption increases the likelihood of making poor decisions and unhealthy choices, including risky sexual behavior and suicide.
• Motor vehicle crashes are a leading cause of death among young people. 22% of teen drivers involved in fatal crashes in 2022 had a blood alcohol content of at least .08%.
Set the expectation with your child that there will be no alcohol use. Some parents or caregivers believe that it is better to teach their children to drink responsibly or in moderation than to have clear rules against underage drinking. Some feel that, as long as their child doesn’t drink and drive, some alcohol use before the age of 21 is to be expected and is not a big deal.
Beliefs like these are not supported by a growing body of research. Evidence increasingly points to the specific harms of any alcohol use prior to adulthood. Numerous studies have shown that kids whose parents let them drink before they reach the legal age of 21 are more likely to drink in riskier ways and experience future alcohol-related problems than kids whose parents do not permit any underage drinking.
The dangers of alcohol use are clear and need to be discussed with our kids. How and
when do we discuss the dangers of underage drinking? Probably more often than you think!
Years of prevention research have proven that kids who have an ongoing series of discussions with their parents, especially during the middle school years, have the strongest likelihood of making wise choices regarding substances for the rest of their lives. Too often, though, this goes overlooked. Parents get busy. Kids pull away, etc.
Most parents aren’t aware that the more you initiate and engage your kids in thoughtful discussions about the dangers of harmful substances, the better off they will be.
Even better are a series of ongoing discussions over the years. But there’s one important caveat to these important interactions — they need to be interactions. No lectures or monologues — they have to be dialogues and conversations. Text messages don’t count, and neither do notes in their lunch bag.
It’s critical to help your kids manage the dangerous scenarios they’ll likely find themselves in by helping them have clear boundaries and expectations. As much as teens grate against the rules, restrictions, and boundaries adults set for them — they still need them. They aren’t wise enough (yet) to make the best choices for themselves. They lack the context, life experience, and ability to see how their current choices will affect them in the future.
Adolescence is such a critical phase in brain development that the actions of alcohol and other drugs on the brain have a particularly profound impact during this developmental period. Youth need guidance and especially through boundaries and guardrails we set for them. That’s our responsibility. We need to continue operating as their brake as they push down the gas pedal.
Even though they roll their eyes and argue at every turn, they know deep down that the restrictions we set for them express our love and concern for them. Kids who have adults in their lives who give them too much freedom too early often develop a deep-seated belief that they aren’t valuable or worthy, and they carry that fundamental belief with them into adulthood. ■
We are so busy, I feel like I’m missing out on my kids’ lives. What can I do to make my time with them more intentional, and when?
Often, family time is reduced to eating chicken nuggets in the car on the way to practice or music lessons. It’s hard to get in time for meaningful conversation and connection to our kids. That’s when we need to stop and not prioritize our schedule, but schedule our priorities. The easiest way is to take advantage of opportunities that already naturally occur in our days. Four times might be:
• MEALTIME • BEDTIME
• MORNING TIME • DRIVE TIME
These are often wasted occasions that can be used to engage in conversation. Each “junction” can serve a function. Mealtimes can be used to play the role of teacher. Ask your kids about their day, debrief what happened, and help them make sense of it. Morning time is the perfect time to play cheerleader. Encourage them to have a good day and have them make a point to serve others. Bedtime is a great time to put on your counselor hat. Kids tend to be more vulnerable at bedtime. Lasty, drive time you can serve as their friend. Listen to what the song lyrics mean and discuss how they should or should not shape our world.
Obviously, these times are going to require everyone to be off their technology; parents included. Here are some prompts to get conversations started:
Mealtime – What’s the best thing that happened today? How about the worst? What did you learn?
Morning time – Find one person you can help or encourage today. Let me know what happens tonight.
Bedtime – Did anyone hurt your feelings today? Did you hurt anyone else’s? What opportunities did you have to help someone?
Drive time – What’s your favorite song and why? What’s your favorite part about school right now? What would make it better?
After you’ve used all the prompts, use the role for each junction to generate other ideas. Does cheerleading need to look different one day than the other? How about being a friend?
Not only will these conversations help build rapport with your children, but they’ll also start to look forward to having your undivided attention and interest in their lives. It’s a great investment in time.
HAVE A QUESTION?
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2
The number of fears we’re born with: falling and loud sounds
221,800
The number of islands in Sweden, the most of any country
63
The number of football fields the length of the longest bridal veil was
1,850
The number of chocolate bars used in the movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
6
million
7
The number of neck vertebrae a giraffe has
The number of parts in a 747 airliner
MENTAL HEALTH IN TEENS Why Ignoring Can Lead to Addiction
Teens face challenges that can feel overwhelming. Emotional struggles, pressure to fit in, and unresolved pain can take a toll. When mental health problems go unaddressed, they can lead to dangerous consequences. Many teens look for ways to cope, and some turn to drugs or alcohol. Ignoring mental health in teens doesn’t just affect their present. It can set the stage for lifelong struggles, including addiction. By understanding this connection, we can take steps to prevent it and support teens before it’s too late.
THE EMOTIONAL STRUGGLES TEENS FACE TODAY
Teens experience a wide range of emotional struggles that can affect their mental health and well-being. These challenges often go unnoticed or misunderstood, leaving teens feeling isolated. Here are some of the most common struggles they face:
• Anxiety about the future: Many teens worry about academic performance, college admissions, and career choices. These pressures can feel overwhelming without proper support.
• Depression and loneliness: Feelings of sadness or hopelessness often stem from challenges at school, at home, or in social situations. These emotions can spiral if left unchecked.
• Social media pressure: Constant exposure to curated lives on social media platforms can make teens feel inadequate. They may compare themselves to others, leading to low self-esteem.
• Bullying and peer rejection: A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that individuals who experienced bullying during childhood faced increased risks of mental health issues in adulthood, including anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Also, repeated rejection by peers damages confidence and makes teens withdraw.
• Trauma from past experiences: Events such as family conflicts, abuse, or witnessing violence leave a lasting impact. These experiences shape how teens cope with stress and emotional pain.
• Family problems: Conflicts at home,
divorce, or neglect can make teens feel unsupported. That often worsens feelings of anxiety and sadness.
• Pressure to fit in: Teens often need to conform to peer expectations. This desire to fit in can push them into unhealthy behaviors, including experimenting with drugs or alcohol.
IGNORING MENTAL HEALTH IN TEENS: THE RIPPLE EFFECT
When mental health in teens goes ignored, the consequences don’t just disappear—they grow. Teens who don’t receive help often develop unhealthy ways to cope, such as using drugs or alcohol to numb their feelings. That can damage their relationships with family and friends, creating more isolation and frustration.
Neglected mental health also affects academic performance, making it harder for teens to focus, keep up with schoolwork, or achieve their goals. Over time, untreated issues can lead to deeper emotional pain, which increases the risk of depression, anxiety, and addiction.
The longer these struggles remain unaddressed, the harder they become to untangle, affecting a teen’s future relationships, career prospects, and overall quality of life. Ignoring mental health in teens doesn’t just affect one aspect of their lives—it sets off a chain reaction of challenges that can follow them into adulthood.
WHY TEENS TURN TO SUBSTANCES WHEN HELP IS ABSENT
Teens often turn to substances when they feel overwhelmed and lack proper support. Some experiment with drugs or alcohol out of curiosity or because of peer pressure. Others use substances to escape feelings of stress, loneliness, or failure. Sometimes, teens believe substances will help them fit in or feel more confident in social situations. However, deeper reasons often lie beneath these behaviors. For many, unresolved pain from childhood trauma plays a significant role. Traumatic events during formative years can trigger long-term changes in the brain’s structure and function, making it harder to regulate emotions or manage stress.
This connection between childhood trauma and substance misuse highlights how deeply past experiences can influence
present decisions. The cumulative effect of multiple traumatic experiences significantly increases the risk of substance dependence. Without proper awareness and support, teens may see substances as the only way to escape their pain.
Providing a safe environment, open communication, and access to mental health resources can prevent these struggles from escalating. Early intervention makes a meaningful difference in breaking this cycle and helping teens find healthier coping methods.
BREAKING THE STIGMA AND BUILDING AWARENESS
Breaking the stigma around teen mental health is one of the most effective ways to help them feel safe seeking support. Misunderstandings and shame often keep teens from talking about their struggles but building awareness can change this. Here are some practical steps to break the stigma:
• Talk openly about mental health: Normalize conversations about mental health at home, school, and in the community. That helps teens see it as a normal part of life, not something to hide.
• Educate yourself and others: Learn about common mental health issues in teens and how to recognize the signs. Share this knowledge with friends, family, and colleagues to spread awareness.
• Be a role model for understanding: Show empathy and avoid judging teens who share their feelings. Being approachable and supportive will encourage them to open up without fear of being labeled.
• Encourage teens to seek help early: Promote asking for help as a strength, not a weakness. Offer guidance on finding counselors, therapists, or hotlines if needed.
SUPPORTING TEENS TODAY TO PREVENT ADDICTION TOMORROW
Ignoring mental health in teens can have lasting consequences, including addiction. Recognizing their struggles and providing support on time can make a huge difference. By addressing issues like trauma, emotional pain, and stigma, we can help teens find healthier ways to cope. ■
CUTTING: An Unhealthy Coping Skill
By MEGHAN STEWART, M.S., LCPC
The act of cutting to make one feel better may seem contradictory. This is why cutting has become widely known and easily accessible for adolescents. As a parent, you may have heard about cutting but what are the red flags and what can you do?
The term cutting can be described as intentionally causing harm to oneself through the use of sharp objects which create scratches, marks, or cuts. This can include items like razor blades, scissors, broken items such as mirrors or plastic pieces (think broken make-up compacts or disassembled pens) or even scratching with fingernails to cause harm. You may think about scratches or marks across the inside of someone’s arms, which is common, but cutting can occur anywhere on the body.
According to the American Psychological Association about 17% of adolescents have engaged in non-life-threatening or self-harming behaviors at least once. Those that do engage in self-harming behaviors like cutting have a higher risk of experiencing depression, hopelessness, and lower self-esteem than those of their peers who do not engage in cutting.
What can you do as a parent? In short, be as non-judgmental and supportive as possible. Talk with your adolescent to understand but not to criticize or place blame. Work together to identify triggers for their cutting. This can include people, settings, or memories. Through my work I have also seen adolescents identify certain book series that become triggering which increased their cutting. Their triggers are going to be unique to them so don’t discount their concerns because it doesn’t make sense to you. Supporting them in healthy coping skills such as going for a drive or walk, playing with a pet, listening to music, or drawing can be alternative ways to cope. A healthy coping skill is going to be something that makes them feel safe and calm.
Other interventions that help harm minimizations include allowing them to wear a rubber band to snap on their wrist, pinching themselves, or drawing or painting on their skin. Providing controls for your adolescent may help them feel more willing to share and open up to you, which is the goal. As always, seek professional help when needed. Primary care providers, mental health professionals and school counselors are great resources, and they can guide you to next steps. ■
