Report - Coaching Tools to Build Resilience

Building a better business world

SEPTEMBER MONTHLY EVENT REPORT:

Building Resilience: Balancing Work and Life WRITTEN BY MARK BATEMAN, CEO OF WEQUAL

Leadership resilience is very much like walking a tightrope, constantly needing to adjust our balance whilst hoping we don’t fall. To be successful, we need to balance the outer world and its demands, along with the needs of our inner world.

So much of what we deal with is outside of our control – the length and tension of the rope, the variable winds, and the height. Yet if we are resilient, we will have a positive mindset that protects us against fear, we will engage in continuous development to strengthen our core, and prioritise self-care to not only endure but thrive. As such, resilience is about control – ensuring the outer world doesn’t dominate our inner world.

UNDERSTANDING RESILIENCE: Resilience is not about avoiding stress or hardship; rather, it’s about how you respond to these challenges. Viktor Frankl, a renowned psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, emphasised that, regardless of what happens externally, each of us has a choice as to how we respond. Though it may be challenging to hear, our reactions are within our control – a mark of high emotional intelligence. Instead of impulsively reacting to people, triggers or adversity, we have a moment to contemplate our response, enabling more purposeful outcomes.

NAVIGATING CONTROL: INNER VS. OUTER WORLD

“Key to resilience is control.

If we can control ourselves – our mind, emotions, use of energy and time – then regardless of the pressure, we will remain resilient.”

– Mark Bateman, CEO, WeQual

Driving gender equality at the top of the world’s largest companies

To cultivate resilience effectively, it’s vital to differentiate between what you can and can’t control.

INNER WORLD: Your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours are your inner world. However challenging, as Frankl proves, you can control how you respond to challenges and stress. You do have a choice, and becoming aware of that is key to taking personal responsibility for your own behaviours. Within the sessions we explored a few practical tools to help with our inner world:

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Managing your inner critic: Each of us has a judge that sits within our mind criticising our every action, “You should have done better!” Left unchecked, a pervading sense of failure can set in. So how can we change this? i) Become aware of the critical voice (it will almost certainly include the words should, ought, have to, must, need to), ii) imagine turning down the volume on that voice much like you would with a radio, iii) ask yourself, “What would my best friend say in this situation?” and personalise that as your own voice. Taking these three steps will help promote self-kindness, and compassion, and build resilience.

Reducing perfectionism: In most cases, perfectionism is driven by a childlike need to gain approval dressed up as a noble cause. However, like cancer, it is extremely harmful and eats away at our resilience. In context, striving for excellence is admirable, but it’s important to acknowledge when “good is good enough.” Don’t let perfect (but late) on Monday stop it from being good on Friday.

Breathing exercises: Each of us has a very valuable stress response, often called ‘fight, flight or freeze’. In this state, our vision becomes very focused and narrow, our heart rate increases, adrenaline floods our body, and the reptilian part of our brain takes over. Useful when facing a tiger but less so when presenting to a CEO. Thankfully, each of us possesses an ability unique in the animal kingdom – we are able to deliberately and intentionally reduce our stress state (sympathetic) to a relaxed state (parasympathetic – rest and digest) using our breathing alone. Doing this widens our vision, lowers our heart rate, and allows us to utilise the thinking/logical part of our brains once more. Watch this demonstration and try this scientifically proven exercise the next time you are feeling stressed.

“When you don’t have enough life in the work-life balance, you cannot reload yourself and this affects everything else.”

– Katia Massaroni, Global Head of Medical Operations & Effectiveness - General Medicine, Sanofi

OUTER WORLD: The external world is full of elements outside our control. A common refrain is that we work too many hours under high stress because of workplace culture and external pressures. However, whether we realise it or not, allowing external factors to control what we do is a choice. Let me say that again, allowing external factors to control what we do is a choice.

Workplace culture: While you may not control your workplace’s culture or demands, you do have control over how you respond. Ask yourself: What are my own boundaries? How am I communicating/enforcing them?

Demands and expectations: External demands, schedules, and expectations are outside of your control. Ask yourself: What are my two to three key priorities? Where am I building time into my calendar to work on them? What do I need to say “no” to?

Other people’s actions: You cannot control the actions, decisions, or behaviours of others. Your power lies in how you react and adapt to their behaviours. Ask yourself: Who triggers me the most?

Am I aware of why they trigger me? Am I giving up my space/control – and if so, what can I do about it?

External circumstances: Changing market conditions or unforeseen events will always be out of our control. Your resilience comes from being agile, adapting and making the best of these situations. Ask yourself: If this were the first day in my job, knowing what I know now, what would I do?

HOW CAN WE HELP? If you find it challenging to maintain a healthy worklife balance, consider seeking additional support through executive coaching. Email WeQual at global@wequal.com and we will be in touch.

Driving gender equality at the top of the world’s largest companies

global@wequal.com

wequal.com © WeQual 2023