I Feel I Wish I Am by Ebony Shumpert

I FEEL I WISH I AM

a guide to help kids name & navigate hard emotions

written by: ebony shumpert

illustrated by: TBD

Hi Reader,

I was a kid with BIG emotions, that started at an early age. I did not have the introspection or vocabulary to communicate feelings like betrayal, humiliation, or disappointment. Instead, I used passive aggression (tantrums) and even outright aggression (violence) to express myself. It did not go well. I ended up hurting the people I liked the most. You don't have to go through that, and I don't want you to.

Use this book as a tool to:

Understand who you are and why.

Love yourself fully.

Learn to communicate who you are, and what you need, to the world around you.

Identify your allies

You may think about some hard things as you read this book. It’s important to have allies. An ally is a person who helps and supports you in challenging moments. Introspection: The study

of your thoughts and feelings. Passive Aggressive: Seeking attention without really saying what is wrong. Aggression: Unfriendliness and violence toward others.

ThisbookisdedicatedtokidswithBIGemotions,andto thepeoplewhoaretryingtheirbesttolovethemwell.

Camden&Kendall,mommylovesyou!

Written by: Ebony Shumpert

Edited by: Dr. Jamila PamojaThomas

Illustrated by: TBD

ISBN###-#-####-####-#

I FEEL I WISH I AM

a guide to help kids name & navigate hard emotions

Written by: Ebony Shumpert

Edited by: Dr. Jamila PamojaThomas

Illustrated by: TBD

TABLE OF CONTENTS WAYS TO READ THIS BOOK 7 "I FEEL" 8 "I WISH" 10 "I AM" 12 DIFFERENT DEANDRE 14 DISCOURAGED DEEPTI 16 EMBARrASSED EMANI 18 GUILTY GABBY 20 INVISIBLE IVANNA 22 BETRAYED BRANDON 24 LONELY LISA 26 POWERLESS PASHA 28 REJECTED RURI 30 SCARED SCOTTI 32 STUPID STEVEN 34 UGLY URIAH 36 WORRIED WHITNEY 38 PRACTICE PAGES 40 GLOSSARY 42

MYLORD-JesusChrist

MYMOTHER-ChrishonGraves

MYHUSBAND-NicholasShumpert

MYTEACHER-HeatherEubank

MYTHERAPIST-DawnJones

MYVILLAGE-Youknowwhoyouare.

This book is designed to be read in four different ways. Choose which works best for you.

There are many characters in this book. Read cover to cover so you can learn about them all.

I FEEL BETRAYED I FEEL LONELY

I FEEL (TOO) DIFFERENT

I FEEL DISCOURAGED

Choose an emotion you understand

I FEEL POWERLESS

I FEEL REJECTED

24 26 28 30

14 16

I FEEL EMBARASSED I FEEL GUILTY I FEEL INVISIBLE

FEEL STUPID

FEEL UGLY

FEEL WORRIED

FEEL SCARED

who feels

same way YOU do. 18 20 22 32 34 36 38

and learn

the

I WISH (so and so) HAD NOT DONE THAT TO ME

I WISH someone liked what i like

I WISH: (so and so) WAS PROUD OF ME

find a wish that you have made before

I WISH SOMEONE UNDERSTOOD WHAT I’M FEELING

I WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING I COULD DO

I WISH I WAS INCLUDED

24 26 28 30

I WISH THAT HAPPENED WHEN NOBODY WAS AROUND

I WISH I HANDLED THAT DIFFERENTLY

I WISH: (so and so) PAID ATTENTION TO ME

and see who wants the same things you want.

I WISH I WAS BIGGER, STRONGER AND BRAVER

I WISH I WAS SMART(ER)

I WISH I DID NOT HAVE TO DO THIS

I WISH I LOOKED DIFFERENT 20

32 34 36 38

I AM TRUSTWORTHY

Pick a sentence that makes you feel warm inside

I AM LOVED

I AM CAPABLE

I AM CHOSEN

I AM unique I AM RESILIENT

16 24 26 28 30

And see what these characters have overcome to believe in themselves.

I AM precious I AM UNIQUELY GIFTED

i am FEARFULLY & WONDERFULLY MADE

I AM OBSERVERNT

I AM HUMAN I AM HUMBLE I AM IMPORTANT

18 20 22 32 34 36 38

I FEEL (TOO) DIFFERENT.

Whatclubsareyou guysjoiningthis year?

Trackforsure. Iwanttobeatmy bigbrother's record

TENNIS!! Thebestsport ever.

Iwas thinkingof joiningtheband.I've alwayswantedto learnthedrums.

Band?!Whata weirdo!

Elaborate:

Do you tell jokes, and nobody laughs?

Are your hobbies and interests called weird or dumb?

Do you wish you had more people in your life that understood you?

Yes, I agree with one or more of these.

No, none of these sound like me.

I W I S H S O M E B O D Y L I K E D W H A T I L I K E . "

The world is full of so many kinds of people, and guess what that means? There is a whole community of people excited to meet you! You can seek them out or find ways to draw them to you. What are at least three things you can do to connect with your community?

Examples: Join a club or wear a t-shirt with your favorite character on it.

R e m i n d e r : I A M u n i q u e . M y I n t e r e s t s a r e m e a n i n g f u l a n d u n l i k e a n y o n e e l s e . M y d i f f e r e n c e s C A N h e l p o t h e r s t o L E A R N S O M E T H I N G N E W o r g r o w i n e m p a t h y . R E M I N D E R

Community: A group of people interested in the same things. Empathy: Understanding and sensitivity to other people.

"

Thisis unacceptable!

I FEEL DISCOURAGED.

Deepti,Iamgoingto havetobenchyou untilyougetyour gradeup.Mom's orders.

it'sabouttime! Keepitup!

Think about a time when you felt like you did your best and it was not enough. You did not pass the quiz. You did not win the race. Or you were proud of yourself and wanted someone else to say, Good Job.

I W I S H ( S O A N D S O ) W A S P R O U D O F M E . "

How can you be more prepared for the next hard task you will face?

How can you encourage yourself even if nobody else does?

Next time I feel discouraged, I can...

Encourage:

I A M R E S I L I E N T . I c a n d o h a r d t h i n g s . C h a l l e n g e s a r e o p p o r t u n i t i e s t o g r o w a n d i m p r o v e . I w i l l l e a r n f r o m m y m i s s t e p s a n d k e e p o n t r y i n g . R E M I N D E R

support, confidence,

hope.

Give

Resilient: Being able to recover from life’s ups and downs.

_________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

Let'spickupwhere weleftoffinourbook.

Yourturntoread Emani

I FEEL EMBARRASSED EMBARRASSED.

Have you ever done something in front of people that you wish would have happened privately? How did you feel at the moment? What is something you can say or do next time to make you less uncomfortable?

" I W I S H T H A T H A P P E N E D W H E N N O B O D Y W A S A R O U N D . "

EMBARRASSED: A feeling of self-consciousness, shame, or awkwardness.

1)Whathappened?

3) How can you handle yourself if it happens again?

2) What thoughts went through your mind?

R E M I N D E R

I A M H U M A N . I ’ m n o t t h e f i r s t p e r s o n t h i s h a s h a p p e n e d t o , a n d I w o n ’ t b e t h e l a s t .

I c a n l e a r n t o l a u g h a t m y s e l f a n d m o v e o n . T h e n e g a t i v e f e e l i n g w i l l p a s s .

Thisisfavoritism.I DEFdeservedMVP. Coachissuchan idiot.

Gabby,did youcallme aname?

Wow,Ithoughtwe werefriends.Why wouldyoublame me?

No,That wasLisa.

Consider a time when you did or said something you regret.

Write a letter answering these questions:

What did you do?

What do you wish you would have done differently?

How can you make amends?

Regret: Feeling sorry about something.

Amends: To make something right, restore relationship.

I W I S H I H A N D L E D T H A T D I F F E R E N T L Y . "

I FEEL GUILTY. "

Dear,

I'm sorry for ...

I wish I had ...

Please forgive me. Is there something I can do to make it right?

Sincerely,

I A M H U M B L E . I w i l l a d m i t m y w r o n g s a n d a s k f o r f o r g i v e n e s s . M y l o v a b i l i t y i s n o t b a s e d o n m y m i s t a k e s a l o n e . R E M I N D E R

HUMBLE: Not treating or thinking of others as less important.

"

Let’stake aselfie!

Oooooh,Ilook CUTE!

I FEEL INVISIBLE.

Thatgirlnext toyouis socool.

Thanks.She’s mycousin.

Sometimes the people in our lives do not give us the attention and connection we crave. Many times it has nothing to do with us, and everything to do with them. Imagine speaking to someone you want a connection with. How would an ideal conversation go?

I W I S H ( S O A N D S O ) P A I D A T T E N T I O N T O M E . "

What is one question you wish someone would ask you?

Who do you wish would ask you the question?

Why this question and why this person?

What will you do if the conversation ends in disappointment?

I A M I M P O R T A N T . M y j o y , f e a r , d r e a m s , w i s h e s & c o n c e r n s , A L L d e s e r v e a t t e n t i o n . R E M I N D E R Disappointment: Sadness caused by unmet desires and hopes.

Sam,youthink Ruriwilllike these?

Ithinkshe willLOVE them.

I FEEL BETRAYED BETRAYED.

ThanksSam!And yes,wecangoto thedancetogether.

Sometimes our friends and family do things that deeply hurt our feelings and/or bodies. Consider a time when your loved one’s words or actions were unloving, and it shocked you.

Betrayal: Feeling harmed by the actions of someone you trust.

I W I S H ( S O A N D S O ) H A D N O T D O N E T H A T T O M E "

What happened?

What do you wish had happened differently?

Do you want to mend the relationship?

Yes

No Open to it IDK

I A M T R U S T W O R T H Y . I w o r k h a r d t o b e a g o o d p e r s o n a n d I d e s e r v e r e l a t i o n s h i p s w i t h p e o p l e w h o d o t h e s a m e . R E M I N D E R

What expectations and boundaries can you set moving forward? Boundary: Personal relationship guidelines to protect yourself from harm and maintain your mental health.

Have you ever been the new kid at school?

Have you been really close to someone who passed away?

Are your parents getting divorced and you feel stuck in the middle?

Do you wish the people around you would acknowledge how you are feeling?

Yes, I agree with one or more of these.

No, none of these sound like me.

I FEEL LONELY. " I W I S H S O M E O N E U N D E R S T O O D W

’ M F E E L I N G . "

H A T I

Acknowledge: Admit the truth or existence of something.

Loneliness is when you feel like you are the only person going through your situation. It can happen when you are alone, but it can also happen when you are with other people.

when do you feel lonely?

Share this with your ally and ask for help to brainstorm solutions together. That companionship might make you feel better sooner than you think.

who is your ally?

I a m l o v e d . G o d a n d t h e p e o p l e i n m y l i f e c a r e a b o u t m e . I c a n i n v i t e m y a l l y i n t o m y l o n e l i n e s s . R E M I N D E R

I FEEL POWERLESS.

"

W

I love you too. Bye, Dad.

I must go, son. I love you.

Do you feel overwhelmed by problems in your life? Do you wish there was something you could do? Are you hoping someone else would step up to help? What is your ideal solution?

Overwhelmed: When a thought , feeling, or problem is too much or too big for you to handle.

. "

I S H T H E R E W A S S O M E T H I N G I C O U L D D O

Sometimes when life feels out of control, it helps to get organized. Use this chart to map out your thoughts and empower yourself to make a difference.

THINGS ICAN CHANGE

WHAT CAN I COURAGEOUSLY DO?

THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE WHOCAN BE MY ADULTALLY?

I A M C A P A B L E . I c a n d o h a r d t h i n g s . R E M I N D E R

Empower: To give someone permission and tools to make a change.

Thosearecool! Iwonderwhere Icangetone.

I FEEL REJECTED.

Ohyea,weallgot thesefrom Emani’sparty.

Do you try to play with your older siblings, but they tell you to go away?

Did you get picked last at recess?

Were you the only person who did not get invited to a birthday party?

Do you wish people would be more considerate and include you?

Yes, I agree with one or more of these.

No, none of these sound like me.

D . "

" I W I S H I W A S I N C L U D E

Considerate: To be careful not to hurt others or make things harder for them.

Some people are hurtful on purpose, which is a bummer. But some people are hurtful by accident. If you don‘t tell them, they will never know. It is your responsibility to make yourself known!

Think of someone who has made you feel left out. Tell them how you felt and why. If you are up for the challenge, figure out how you would prefer things to happen next time and communicate that as well.

what happened in the past?

what would you prefer in the future?

E N . T h e r e a r e p e o p l e i n m y l i f e w h o c

n c l u d e a n d l o v e m e . A b o v e a l l ,

c a r e f o r m y s e l f a n d g r a c i o u s l y t e a c h o t h e r s h o w t o t r e a t m e . R E M I N D E R Graciously: To show kindness and patience knowing people make mistakes.

A M C H O S

h o o s e t o i

h o o s e t o

Scotti. Your granny said your cousins will be at her house this weekend too!

Do what I say, or you know what's coming.

I FEEL SCARED.

She keeps hurting me.

No,Idon't think she would do that.

Fearcanbeasmallsignalthatyouarenotreadyforsomethingyet,butitcanalsobeabigsignal thatsomethingiswrong,andyouneedhelp.

Doyougetnervousortensewhenyouseeacertainperson,hearcertainsounds,orgotocertain places?Doyouwishyoucouldprotectyourselforsomeoneelse?

I W I S H I W A S B I G G E R , S T R O N G E R & B R A V E R . "

Why do you feel that way? Did something happen?

Is there an adult or peer that you trust to be your ally?

How can he/she to help?

who?

I A M p r e c i o u s . I d e s e r v e t o f e e l s a f e , c o n f i d e n t a n d c o m f o r t a b l e i n m y b o d y . W H E N I a m b r a v e e n o u g h t o T A L K A B O U T a b u s e , I D E S E R V E T O B E B E L I E V E D ! R E M I N D E R

Abuse: To harm or be cruel to someone repeatedly.

Mom,Iknowthe answersinclass,butI alwaysgetconfusedon thetest.

It'sokayhoney.Letme talktoyourteacher. Shecanhelpusplan.

"

OkaySteven,Iam goingtoreadthe questionaloudand youtellmethe answer.

"

Do you find yourself in situations where you don’t know what steps to take or what questions to ask? Do you wish things came to you as easily as they come to others? Yes, some of this sounds like me. No, none of these sound like me.

I FEEL SIMPLE.

I W I S H I W A S S M A R T ( E R )

If you do, don’t beatyourselfup.Everyone struggles with something. Sometimesyoumust advocate foryourself and whatyou need.

Thinkofsomethingyouwish youwere better at.Now thinkofsomeone you know whoisalready goodatit.Askthem fortips to help you improve.

I A M U N I Q U E L Y G I F T E D . I w i l l n o t b e g r e a t a t e v e r y t h i n g a n d t h a t i s o k a y . I t ’ s m o r e i m p o r t a n t t h a t I d o n ' t g i v e u p . I c a n t r y i n g a n o t h e r s t r a t e g y a n d a s k f o r h e l p .

Advocate: Fight for the needs and rights of yourself or others.

E M I N D E R

T H E A D V I C E i S . . .

I W I S H I W A S B E T T E R A T . . . I C A N A S K F O R A D V I C

Okclass,let'sgetstartedwith ouricebreaker!Choosea pieceofpaperfromthejar andanswersowecangetto knowyou.Uriah, youstart.

Would you rather be 10 feet tall or 10 inches tall?

I FEEL UGLY

Hewouldprobably rathergetatan.Lookat him!

Does the criticism in your head sound like your voice or someone else's?

Idontwantto playthisgame anymore.

Close your eyes and think of a time when you wished your appearance (face, smile, hair, skin, glasses, figure, height, clothes, etc.) was different.

ME NOT ME WHO?

" I W I S H I L O O K E D D I F F E R E N T . "

Criticism: A harsh and negative observation or comment.

What can you do to rebuild your self-esteem and drown out the negative voice(s)?

Write down some ideas in the spaces below.

I A M F e a r f u l l y & W o n d e r f u l l y M a d e . I h a v e b e a u t i f u l q u a l i t i e s i n s i d e a n d o u t . I c a n

h o o s e w h o I s h a r e m y s e l f w i t h b a s e d o n h o w t h e y t r e a t m e a n d m a k e m e f e e l . Example:Lookinthemirror andcomplimentyourself eachmorning. R E M I N D E R

Self-Esteem: How you feel about who you are and what you have to offer.

I FEEL WORRIED.

Have you ever wished you could just skip to the end of a situation? Have you ever felt fine one minute, and then suddenly your body goes haywire.

Your heart beats faster, you can't catch your breath, you start sweating, you feel shaky, or your stomach hurts. This feeling is called anxiety and you are not alone.

LOTS of people go through this!

" I W I S H I D I D N O T H A V E T O D O T H I S . "

Anxiety: Feeling nervous about how something will turn out.

What situations make you feel anxious (Meeting new people, doing a presentation in front of your class, an argument with somebody you love)?

When you are in these situations, here are things you can do to help.

Take slow, deep breaths.

Get a hug (sometimes adding more pressure helps).

Take a walk outside.

Listen to music that makes you happy.

Journal to get your thoughts and feelings out.

I A M o b s e r v a n t . I w i l l b e a w a r e o f h o w m y b o d y f e e l s a n d p r a c t i c e s e l f - c a r e . T h i s i s a p a r t o f m y l i f e - l o n g j o u r n e y t o b e h e a l t h y . R E M I N D E R Self-Care: Protecting your well-being and happiness.

PUTITINTOPRACTICE... PUTITINTOPRACTICE... PUTITINTOPRACTICE...

I FEEL: What emotion(s) are you feeling?

I WISH: Why are you feeling that way? What do you wish were different about your situation?

I AM: What do you believe about yourself that you want others to know? Or What do you wish you believed about yourself that other people do?

Date:

I FEEL _____________________________ I WISH ____________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________ I

______________________________ ___________________________________

I FEEL _____________________________ I WISH ____________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________ I AM ______________________________ ___________________________________

Date:

GLOSSARY GLOSSARY GLOSSARY

Abuse

To harm or be cruel to someone repeatedly.

Acknowledge

Admit the truth or existence of something.

Advocate

Fight for the needs and rights of yourself or others.

Aggression

Unfriendliness and violence toward others.

Ally

A person who helps and supports you in challenging moments.

Amends

To make something right, restore relationship.

Anxiety

Feeling nervous about how something will turn out.

Betrayal

Feeling harmed by the actions of someone you trust.

Boundary

Personal relationship guidelines to protect yourself from harm and maintain your mental health.

Community

A group of people interested in the same things.

Considerate

Being careful not to hurt others or make things harder for them

Criticism

A harsh and negative observation or comment.