7 Signs that You are a Horribly Overprotective Parent
http://www.secretchina.com/news/15/03/30/572140.html
Are you a parent that smothers and bubble wraps your kid at every step and in every hour of the day? I am no one to judge; I know that parenting is first and foremost a responsibility- a responsibility few among us take lightly. So a difference in approach and opinion is only natural, as we put in great volumes of time and effort to deliver our dreams and hopes. But in our zest and enthusiasm for the job, and its perks, we sometimes forget where the boundaries of healthy parenting lie. In our commitment to giving our kid the best of what life has to offer, we can get so involved in their worlds that we forget the boundaries between theirs and our own. This may help us feel fabulous about ourselves and just how much we do as a parent; but it is one hundred percent detrimental to the development and identity of our children- in both, the short and long term. Children need a clear sense of self just as much as they need us to help them feel nurtured, loved, safe and secure. Bubble wrapping your children only delays the former and its development, causing a number of mental, emotional, psychological and practical issues in their lives. Yes, you are responsible for your child’s present, but you are equally tasked with ensuring they are ready to take on their tomorrow- all by themselves. Therefore no matter how safe a strategy, being overprotective is not the answer. So are you a horribly overprotective parent? It’s easier to slip in the role than you might realizehere are 7 signs that will help you identify the symptoms in your own life and relationship. 1. Your Child Has Never Failed at Anything If your child is well buffered from making any mistakes at all, and has never tasted failure in any form what so ever, you might want to reconsider just how much you step in and save the day. Children learn from failure as much as from triumphs, if not more; help them overcome the speedbumps instead of levelling these out for them. 2. You Have Your Kid’s Principal on Speed Dial
It is good to be direct and ensure a safe learning environment for your kid, but calling up the principal or teacher every time a single cloud pops up in the sky is a sure sign of trouble. Help your kid learn to negotiate his way through the challenges he meets; don’t worry, you will still be supermom- even if you don’t swoop in and save the day every time. 3. You Choose Your Kid’s Friends and Company Monitoring your kid’s company is an integral aspect of parenting. But if you are playing God and choosing her friends for her then not only are you way too involved, you are actually impairing her social skills- maybe even for life! 4. Your Kid runs to you For Everything- Literally! It is a wonderful feeling to be needed, to feel your kid wrap their arms around you and unload their deepest feelings. But you kid needs to learn to process his feelings by himself- be it sadness, anger, jealousy or even over-the-top excitement. Teach them to honor and find their way through the colorful emotional landscapes they inhabit. 5. Risks are Best Avoided Risks are tricky to introduce into your child’s life, especially as the stakes can be high and measuring risks is a skill best acquired with experience. But this is precisely why you must help your child understand what they entail, instead of blanket-banning them altogether. Your kids are better off taking safe and measured risks under your supervision, than experimenting with these alone. 6. Childhood Means No Chores Does your child live the true carefree life? Fun is great, but childhood is also a time to learn about personal, social and collective responsibility and what they entail. Start small and be steady; do not shy away from your kid struggling a little- this is part of her growth curve. 7. It’s a Big Bad World Out There You know you are horribly overprotective if you paint a picture of the world at large being dangerous, terrible and hostile, while home is a safe haven to stay safely curled up within. Yes home is a sanctuary, but it is really isn’t all bad out there and you need to make sure your kid knows that. Fear is never a sound control strategy and tends to backfire in myriad ways.