Eulogy for Sister Sheila Megley, RSM
Tuesday, 4 June 2024
Mercy Circle
Good morning. My name is David Zwarycz, and I am one of Sister Sheila’s 10 nieces and nephews, as the son of her oldest sister Anne. Now before we move forward, please note that despite being an octogenarian, Aunt Sheila would once again have insisted here that I point out that she was, in fact, the youngest of the 5 Megley siblings. Just in case there is anyone left here who didn’t yet know.
Now, in addition to being her nephew, I also was fortunate enough that Sheila was my godmother, my confirmation sponsor, my Boston roommate, and even my one time skiing buddy on an unfortunate outing in New Mexico where her fair Irish skin did not react well with the high altitude sun. And, before you ask, no, there are no pictures of said outing at Sister Sheila’s request.
So first, on behalf of my Aunt Jane and the rest of our family, I would like to thank each of you for being here today. Thank you for sharing your stories and your memories; thank you for sharing your sadness and your grief; and thank you for sharing your gratitude for Sheila’s life. You, her colleagues, her friends, her dear Sisters in Christ. All of you were truly her family as much as those of us gathered up front
A few days before she died, Aunt Sheila asked me if I would be comfortable delivering a eulogy for her And of course, I immediately said yes, feeling incredibly honored and touched. But let's be frank, I don’t imagine anyone who knew her ever found it easy to say “no” to Sister Sheila, and I certainly wasn’t going to start now
As the classically educated Sheila likely would have pointed out, the word eulogy comes from the Greek, eu logos, meaning good word. And I certainly have a long list of wonderful words about Sheila, as do so many who were lucky enough to have encountered her
But I must confess, I’ve struggled with this task over the past week as I’ve tried to put those words together in a perfect way to express the fondness, love and respect I had for her. I’ve tried to conjure words that were witty, yet tender; clever, yet caring; passionate, yet compassionate. All those things that Sheila was. But the words alway seem to come up short.
What I’ve been trying to vividly describe is how absolutely wonderful and fabulous she was, in that way, that only Aunts can be. Whether she was directing my sister Jane and me in a magic show in which we were the stars or if she was organizing an extraordinary visit to Newport for children and adults alike. To this day, I still can remember how excited we would always be when Sheila was coming to town.
But words that express the joy that she brought to me, to our family, seem inadequate
Well, during much of my life, this is exactly the sort of task or challenge I would have brought to Aunt Sheila, seeking her wise counsel, her reasoned thinking, her unqualified cheerleading. She was so good at listening to a problem, considering it, and helping me or anyone else who asked for help, work out a solution.
But alas, we no longer have her here to turn to for her perspective, and words that convey the depths that loss and the void that is left have failed me.
Cognizant of my limits of expression these past days I decided to seek guidance from the words of a wise woman to whom Sheila often turned: Catherine McAuley, the founder of the Sisters of Mercy. Amongst her many sage words, the ones that leapt out to me were these:
We must strive to do ordinary things extraordinarily well.
For while it is easy to look at Sheila’s obituary and focus just on her numerous big roles and accomplishments, the buildings, the programs, the institutions, it was in her more personal, intimate efforts and endeavors that the true richness of this great woman was best expressed. The daily kindnesses and genuine concern for so many that made a difference to many Simple, daily, ordinary things, done extraordinarily well
Over the last week, our family has heard stories of many quiet ways that Sheila assisted people in need or impacted their lives. These stories have not been surprising, but it is such a gift to hear people share them and affirm what we’ve known for a long time
Somewhat selfishly, I think that those she impacted most were the children of her siblings, John, Anne and Jane.Sheila relished being an Aunt, and loved being called Great Aunt Sheila. And that was even before her nieces and nephews had children But that wasn’t because she wanted to be the senior family member in the room, the grand but distant matriarch. It said more about the joy she took in her role. The kind of joy that found her on the floor playing with little ones, holding on to whichever young one she was lucky enough to grab at that moment. I stand here and see my cousins, and their children, and now, their children who make up the next generation If you look at the picture outside that Sheila made with pictures of each
child of that next generation, you can see how much she celebrated each one. Sheila so loved each of you.
So after pondering all of this, I am thinking that perhaps it is more fitting and right that rather than a grand oration acclaiming Sheila’s virtues, the best eulogies for Sheila are the ones each one of us has in our hearts, those that will continue on, long after today.
Just a few weeks ago, on Good Friday, knowing that her time with us was nearing its end, Sheila gave the homily here at Mercy Circle where she expressed simply that Love is all that matters.
So rather than getting caught up in all the words, I think that I will take her counsel one more time and I will focus on Sheila’s love A love that was made manifest so many times for me, our family and all of you.
A love for teaching
A love for learning
A love for creating
A love of action
A love of listening
A love of compassion
A love for so, so many
I’m sure that many of you will remember, that whenever one of us told Sheila that we loved her, she would quickly reply, “ yes, but I love you more”.
Well, I’m thinking, she probably did, and I’m not going to fight her on that
But, dear, dear Aunt Sheila: Please know that we love you a heck of alot. And will love you always.