The Durango Telegraph, Dec. 15, 2022

the durango

elegraph

La Niña ... is that you?

Latest appearance from the Little Girl bucks trends

Sending signals

At last! New radar station to break ground in ’23

Release the wolves CPW’s management plan out for public comment

Ear to the ground:

“Just bring the toys and your boobs and we’ll be good.”

– Turns out bringing a 5-month-old baby on a hike isn’t all that complicated

Jackpot

Oh hey, look – good news! Recently, Great Outdoors Colorado, otherwise known as GOCO, awarded two grants for recreation projects in La Plata County, totaling $74,025.

The first project is to fund climbing stewardship at Dalla Mountain Park, Animas City Mountain and the East Animas climbing areas. In a partnership between the City of Durango and the Durango Climbers Coalition, crews will repair social trails, install signage, rehabilitate trails for safety and install fencing to reroute trails around fragile and sensitive areas. According to GOCO, that grant totaled $48,000 and Southwest Conservation Corps-Four Corners will conduct the work.

The other $26,025 grant was awarded to La Plata Open Space Conservancy to partner with Southwest Conservation Corps to improve 4 miles of trails at the Durango Nature Center, south of Durango off Highway 550 near Bondad. According to GOCO, the trails have become overgrown with vegetation and impacted by flooding and erosion.

To date, GOCO has invested more than $12.5 million in projects in La Plata County, using a portion of Colorado Lottery proceeds to help the state’s outdoors.

I beg your Parton

What? More good news? As you’ll see once you flip the page, KDUR has announced the return of the beloved Cover Night, happening Sat., Feb. 11. And, even better, they’ve selected one hell of a musician to pay tribute to – Dolly Parton.

If you’re not familiar, Cover Night is one of the best nights in Durango, in this reporter’s humble opinion. It brings together the KDUR family and an eclectic mix of local musicians and music aficionados.

Over the years, Cover Night has featured Talking Heads, Tom Petty, David Bowie, Black Sabbath, Aretha Franklin and even one-hit wonders. It’s also a great fundraiser for our local, independent radio station that works much longer than 9 to 5.

If you’re interested in performing some of Dolly’s greatest hits, send an email to KDURCoverNight@gmail.com.

Ouch!

My first encounter with a masked man scared the tonsils right out of me. I was being rolled toward the hospital’s surgery room for a tonsillectomy when a doctor walked up to my gurney to comfort and assure my 5-year-old brain that there was nothing to worry about. I did not believe him. The same goes for those phony glasses Superman wore to supposedly disguise himself as Clark Kent while working at the Daily Planet, and I did not believe the Lone Ranger’s mask ever shielded his identity either, mostly because Tonto kept calling him kemosabe!

It’s no COVIDcidence the habit of wearing masks still goes on around us, even if the pandemic has officially been declared an endemic, like the flu. Of the people I see, most are mask-free. If they’re facing the times heroically, good for them. The possibility of contracting the latest COVID variant is always worrisome for the immunocompromised, but if people are still wearing masks to reduce their risk of coming down with the flu, or even to keep the cold wind off their faces, I say double good for them, because the mask has finally been taken down from its rhetorical pole as a political flag and returned to its practical use as an effective and inexpensive medical defense against a multitude of respiratory ailments ever-present in our crowded social lives.

Lucky, too, that the controversy over our historic mask mandate has noticeably decreased, which doesn’t necessarily mean an enforced awareness was all bad. I have yet to hear of any incident where a mask actually killed an American, unless it was being worn incorrectly, perhaps as a blindfold while driving a motor vehicle.

It’s also no COVIDcidence that new vaccinations continue to appear on the medical market, the latest one serving as a kind of booster seat for the holiday season while those other variants keep knocking at the door, inviting themselves into our homes. By my personal count I have received more vaccinations than I can count: four for COVID, my annual flu shot, shingles prevention, tetanus, pneumococcal polysaccharide, and naturally, all the childhood shots for hepatitis, polio, measles/mumps/rubella, and who-knows-what-else before I reached the age of 18. I am a pincushion of insecurity.

And nothin’ says lovin’ like the holiday marathon of Thanksgiving followed

Thumbin’It

A new law in Utah requiring anyone riding an OHV on public lands to complete a mandatory education program to reduce conflicts and environmental damage. Hello? Colorado?

President Joe Biden officially signing a new law that solidifies gay and interracial marriage as legal unions.

A new scientific study finding that “hangry” emotions are real, remnants of a time when humans needed extra motivation to forage for food. We knew it!

by Christmas followed by the New Year celebrations. Togetherness can give us a cheerful, warm feeling, as long as it’s not accompanied by a fever. Says the CDC, “Because many generations tend to gather to celebrate holidays, the best way to minimize COVID-19 risk and keep your family and friends safer is to get vaccinated if you’re eligible.” Says I, “Yeah, right.” The potential threat of a “dark winter” that may eternally loom before us has gradually softened in my mind from rock to paper. If the scissors show up I will just pound my fist again and take my chances.

Neil Young wrote, “I’ve seen the needle and the damage done,” which might include, “...I often passed out getting jabbed by one.” A doctor once clarified my reaction to needles as a classic demonstration of what’s called “fightor-flight.” According to Wikipedia, “This response is recognized as the first stage of the general adaptation syndrome that regulates stress responses among vertebrates and other organisms.” And it is gratifying to know that regulation also takes place as an evolutionary directive, not just politically.

On the bright side, since 2020 I wash my hands more frequently and my mother would be proud. My father survived the great Spanish flu invasion of 1918-19 but still suffered emotionally from its impact. He lost his father, two brothers and one sister in the span of 10 tragic days. Neighbors left flowers beside their fence to express a heartfelt collective sympathy. My mother, who was only born in 1919, didn’t contract the flu but she must have absorbed her parents’ worry and precautions, because throughout her adult life she insisted on clean living, healthy eating and a regular bedtime, which included taking a bath at least once a week. Staying safe during times of increased risk might also include the good habits you decided to practice your whole life, not just during a pandemic.

It has been a long time since masks frightened me, but I don’t think I’ll ever grow accustomed to voluntarily having my body needled by another immunization. COVID is a parasite. To survive and spread, all viruses need to find a comfortable access into a host. By simple adaptation they stay healthy. Hopefully we will too. My awareness is evolving, and if I don’t pass out as often, even as the news continues stick me with a steady blitz of stressful headlines about violence and politics, I’ll be grateful by trying to be a responsible inhabitant of this planet.

– David Feela

SignoftheDownfall:

Toaster Brutal

A bird flu outbreak in Colorado that wildlife officials say is the worst in U.S. or state history.

A growing network of conservative groups fueling a surge in book bans�–because the mark of a healthy and progressive society is censorship.

Rep. Lauren Boebert promising to “take down the temperature” after narrowly winning reelection. Just kidding: a few days later she tweeted people crossing the border illegally are here to terrorize your community.

One of the hottest gifts on Amazon right now is the “Toaster Bath Bomb” for $24.97. Each toaster smells like cinnamon, which is much more delightful than electrocution, and they’re

embedded with moisturizing clays, which is totally the type of thing people who bathe with toasters worry about. The brand Fat Uncle is the mastermind behind this “gift,” and they also sell “Blue Balls” bath bombs, and one shaped like a skull that’s called “ashes of my enemies.” But the toaster bomb is their best seller, which is absolutely shocking.

With KDUR announcing Dolly Parton Cover Night, the Telegraph asked: “Who else should we pay tribute to?”

Shay

“Blink 182. Everyone loves Blink 182, and if you say you don’t, you’re lying.”

Drew

“Glass Animals. They have the widest range of any band.”

“Metallica – they are a classic.”

QMolly

Hannah

Heather

“John Denver. It was my parent’s wedding album.”

“Lake Street Dive!”

SoapBox D-Tooned/

Boo-bert

“Write to your congressperson,” they say, if you’re not happy with the way things are. At the age of 61, I just wrote my first letter to my congressperson.

Apparently Lauren Boebert is my representative. I wrote to point out that half of the voters in District 3 did not vote for her. I reminded her that the job she was elected to perform is that of representing the people of District 3 – those who voted for her as well as those who did not.

I also expressed my opinion that her unexpectedly lackluster performance in the midterm election (along with other Republicans) illustrates the general public’s disgust and disenchantment with the current epidemic of partisan antics running amok in America.

Finally, I asked her to please avoid the urge to use her position to further her own right-wing agenda and instead to concentrate on performing the job she was elected to do: representing her constituents. All of us, even the ones who didn’t vote for her.

I harbor very little hope that my letter will have any effect on Boebert’s actions. But we cannot expect our represen-

tatives to represent us unless we tell them what we want. I urge everyone to write to their representatives and communicate their thoughts in a respectful, businesslike manner. That seems like a much better approach than complaining and arguing with strangers on the internet.

– Don Baldwin, Durango

Earth’s on the good list

At this time of giving, consider donating money to nonprofit groups such as World Wildlife Fund, Defenders of Wildlife, Audubon, Cornell Lab of Ornithology, Ocean Conservancy, African Wildlife and the Sierra Club. Or, help save dogs, cats and feral horses through the ASPCA or the La Plata County Humane Society.

The U.S. and the world is in an extinction crisis of 10 million species due to human-caused climate change,habitat loss, overpopulation and pollution.

So think about giving in ways that benefit fellow creatures and the Earth. Besides checking out holiday gifts with environmental organizations, buy an electric car, install solar and vote for renewable energy and conservation.

– Margaret Mayer Durango

Spirit of giving

by Rob Pudim

The main reason I still want to live in Durango is the generous spirit from parents who work two to three jobs and still donate to helping the less fortunate, such as Womenade, part of a program sponsored at our Women’s Resource Center.

For a community the size of La Plata County, there is a phenomenal number

of nonprofits. This inspired me to recently make an appointment at age 70 to add a condition to my will that, after my passing, my East Third Avenue home will be dedicated as a multi-unit rental for employees that work for blue collar wages in honor of my grandson with cerebral palsy.

Sally Florence, Durango

La niña lite?

by Jonathan Thompson

While most of the West remains in some stage of drought, the situation has markedly improved over a year ago – especially in parts of the Southwest. This is despite a persistent La Niña pattern, which tends to result in warmer, drier weather in the southern part of the region.

With the official start to winter still a week away and the 2023 water year a mere two months old, it’s probably too early to talk about snowpack and precipitation trends. But I’m going to do it anyway because things are getting kind of interesting.

La Niña has returned for a third consecutive winter, a rare occurrence. The cold-water phenomenon strengthens the trade winds along the equator, pushing warm Pacific water away from South America’s west coast, which causes cool water to swell in and replace it. This pushes the jet stream northward, typically bringing drier conditions to the Southwest and moisture and cold to the Northwest. At least that’s what usually happens.

So far, though, Western weather hasn’t followed the rules (what else is new, right?). For example, snowpack in the Upper Colorado River watershed is currently 116% of median for this time of year – quite a bit healthier than on this date in 2021 and 2022, also La Niña years.

Likewise, the San Juan/Animas/Dolores/San Miguel basin was holding strong at 100% of median as of Dec. 13, thanks to an early-week storm. If current trends continue, they should buoy levels at Lake Powell or at least keep them from declining so rapidly. Currently, the reservoir’s surface is at about 3,527 feet above sea level. On the one hand, that’s 14 feet below what it was at this

time last year, which is not so great. On the other hand, levels have held fairly steady since late September thanks in part to a wet fall.

Southern Arizona experienced its 16th driest November on record, which fits the La Niña pattern. But it was also the coolest November since 2004, in defiance of the pattern. Go figure.

As if to rub it in, Phoenix, which had a pretty healthy monsoon this summer, just experienced its wettest day in almost a year, receiving .76 inches of rain over a 24-hour period.

Tucson, meanwhile, received .69 inches of rain during the first week of December, nearly five times the normal amount for the entire month.

The rains hammered southwestern New Mexico, as well, with streams and rivers there swelling to levels usually only seen during summer thunderstorms.

The Blue River in Clifton, Ariz., shot up from 20 cubic feet per second to almost 3,500 cfs in a matter of hours, setting a new high for 2022.

Meanwhile, the Northwest is cool and wet, just as one would expect during a La Niña. A scan of SNOTEL stations in Idaho, Wyoming and Montana show some stations have more than twice the usual snowpack for this time of year.

Still, the winter is young, and things could change radically. Last winter started out dry in much of Colorado, leading to the late December Marshall Fire near Boulder that wiped out 1,000 homes. Then some monster storms came, forcing everyone to reassess. Then the dryness returned. This year, forecasters are expecting La Niña to mellow or disappear by early spring, so maybe things will return to normal. Whatever that means.

The Land Desk is a newsletter from Jonathan P. Thompson, longtime journalist. To subscribe, go to: www.landdesk.org

The little girl throws a few curveballs this time

Sending signals

New radar station for the Four Corners to break ground in 2023

by Jonathan Romeo

The T’s have been crossed and the I’s dotted – La Plata County will finally break ground on a longawaited radar station in early 2023.

La Plata County Manager Chuck Stevens said the contract for the new weather station, along with a notice to proceed, was signed last week, marking a huge moment in the decades-long effort for radar in the region.

“We are thrilled and excited,” Stevens said. “It’s been a long time coming, and we know the community is anxious to get this project started and completed.”

Southwest Colorado and the Four Corners are considered one of the most significant black holes for radar in the country. Simply put: existing weather stations cannot track storms in this region.

For decades, efforts to build a weather station have hit dead ends. That all changed, however, in 2019 after the State of Colorado awarded La Plata County $1.7 million to take the lead on the project.

There were still a few bumps in the road, though. Over the past few years, local officials have debated where to actually put the radar system, a balancing act of finding a spot with the most cover-

age that’s also financially feasible.

Though not exactly in complete consensus (what is these days?), La Plata County announced in early 2022 the final selection for the site – the DurangoLa Plata County Airport. Now, the construction crew is on board and set break ground.

“We can’t wait to get this project started and get this service online,” Stevens said.

Under the radar

So how did the Four Corners end up a blind spot for radar – also known as a “black hole” in the weather world – in the first place?

Radar works at its best when it scans as close to the ground as possible. The West, along with its varied topography of mountains, valleys and canyons (all the reasons we move here), creates a major challenge for finding a good spot for stations.

As a result, nearby hubs in Albuquerque, Flagstaff and Grand Junction take in data at too high of an elevation to track storms in the Four Corners. The Grand Junction station, for instance, can’t follow storms below 28,000 feet. In the San Juan Mountains, it’s not uncommon for storms to develop around 14,000 feet.

After years trying to get a radar station for the Four Corners, a project led by La Plata County is set to break ground in 2023. The new radar system will fill in one of the most signficant gaps in the country./ File photo

Not being able to forecast storms puts residents at risk, Stevens said. This vulnerability became all too apparent in the wake of the 416 Fire in 2018, when intense storms on the burn scar caused destructive flooding and damage. That event, it turns out, gave the community leverage for funding.

Too good to be true

Once funding was secured, the search was on to find the best suitable location. Much has been reported on the differing opinions of where to put the radar station, so we’ll only briefly touch on it here.

Essentially, about a dozen sites in the region were evaluated, taking into account things like coverage area, road access, existing infrastructure and land ownership.

By far, the site with the best coverage of the entire region was on a peak known as Bridge Timber Mountain, south of Durango (the ridge between La Posta Road and Breen). From the top, at about 8,300 feet, officials said one can see 125 miles in every direction.

The problem, however, was the site completely lacked infrastructure. Millions would have to be spent installing a power line, improving road access and working with landowners. Proponents of Bridge Timber Mountain argued that despite the complications, the site would benefit the largest area, and therefore could draw more partnerships and funding.

Ultimately, though, La Plata County landed on the Durango-La Plata County Airport, which sits at about 6,685 feet, about 15 miles southeast of Durango. Kenneth Howard, program manager and research meteorologist for the National Severe Storms Laboratory Center, has said previously there wasn’t too significant

of a drop-off in coverage between the two sites.

“The airport is going to be the best location when you take into account all the factors,” Howard said. “This is going to be a benefit for everyone.”

Boots on the ground

After the site was finalized, La Plata County put out a request for proposals to companies interested in building the station, which generated three bids, Stevens said. Technical advisers with NOAA and county staff screened each proposal, evaluating factors like price, technical details and construction timeline.

Ultimately, La Plata County selected an Alabamabased company called Baron Weather, Stevens said. Baron Weather did not return a request for comment on this story.

“It was just a solid bid, end to end,” Stevens said.

The new radar station will be constructed at the corner of the cell phone waiting lot and will be outfitted with C-band weather radar technology, which we’ll leave weather nerds to Google.

Once installed, Stevens said the radar will be able to track storms with 3D modeling north to the La Plata Mountains and to the southwest, where a lot of storms in the region originate.

“This is a good compromise,” he said. “Yes, there are other mountain tops with a 360 degree view, but they didn’t have access to power or were on private property, among other considerations. This emerged as the best of all worlds.”

All together now

The goal is for the new radar station to be fully online and operational by March 2024. But, of course, with all

the current challenges with supply chain issues, skilled labor and construction costs, that date could be pushed back, Stevens said.

A condition in the contract, Stevens said, is for the project not to exceed $2.5 million. As stated above, the State of Colorado, through the Department of Local Affairs, is funding the majority of the project with a $1.7 million grant. That grant expires in 2024, but Stevens said an extension could be requested if there are delays.

La Plata County will cover the rest of the project, around $800,000, said county spokesman Ted Holteen.

As for ongoing costs, the goal is to set up a partnership group where involved parties put in funds every year. The setup is similar to San Luis Valley, where a new radar station was constructed in 2018.

Paul Wolyn, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service in Grand Junction, said the new radar station has allowed forecasters to better track localized storms in the San Luis Valley. The new tool has been especially useful, Wolyn said, in monitoring conditions around the San Luis Valley Regional Airport in Alamosa.

“Obviously, knowing where storms are on the radar helps us,” Wolyn said. “It’s definitely a benefit in tracking smaller storms blocked by the mountains.”

Here in La Plata County, the partnership plans to save around $30,000 to $40,000 a year for any maintenance needs.

“We haven’t gone out and asked people to be partners yet; they are asking us, saying they want to be partners,” Stevens said. “That’s because this is going to be a benefit to the region and extend well beyond the boundaries of La Plata County.”

by Ari LeVaux

Iam confused by veggie burgers, vegan cheese, margarine and all substitutes for animal products that seek to imitate the very thing the eater wishes to avoid consuming.

It reinforces the idea that meat eating is somehow more normal, and that vegetarians should try to hide their true selves and pretend to fit in.

Food culture on the Indian sub-continent is the opposite. There, it’s common to see restaurants proudly display their credentials with outdoor signage that announces “Veg and non-Veg” in large type. Given that India will soon overtake China as the world’s most populous nation, this dietary preference is fortunate for the Earth and essential for India’s food security.

Fortunately, Indian chefs have many tricks for making their food so satisfying. They do it with spices, sauces and lots of chopping. Imitation animal products are not on the menu, yet Anthony Bourdain, as committed a flesh lover as anyone, once said that India is the only place where he could be a vegetarian.

A meat-free lifestyle is a beautiful thing, so don’t apologize, vegetarians! Don’t try to play somebody else’s game with your dry, wannabe sausages. A New Jersey-based vegetarian friend of mine named Matthew has been texting me some of his favorite unapologetic vegetable dishes that proudly celebrate the true identities of their ingredients. Here is one of his favorites.

Lemon Chickpeas

The raspy flavor of the turmeric, the piercing bite of the lemon, the herbal aroma of the cilantro and earthy, dare I say meaty flavor of the spinach combine for a dish that is simple and complex.

Serves 2

1 medium sized onion, chopped 2 tablespoons olive oil 2 teaspoons turmeric 2 cloves garlic, minced 1 cubic inch ginger, grated ½ teaspoon salt 4 teaspoons lemon juice ½ teaspoon garlic powder

1 tablespoon-ish red pepper powder or flakes, as hot as you like them, for color and heat 1 16-oz can of chickpeas

¼ teaspoon baking soda (optional) 2 cups chopped spinach

1 bunch cilantro, chopped Chopped onion as a garnish

In a heavy-bottom pan, sauté the onions, garlic, and ginger in the oil. When the onions become translucent, add the salt, lemon juice, garlic powder, red pepper, and stir it together. After five minutes add the chickpeas, including the

water in the can. Add the baking soda if you want softer beans. Adjust seasonings to taste as it simmers. When you are satisfied, and the liquid is gone, add the spinach and cook until the spinach has melted into the beans. Turn off the heat.

Fill the serving plates with generous heaps of chopped cilantro. Scoop the chickpea mixture on top, and garnish with chopped onions.

by Sam Brasch/Colorado Public Radio

Thirty to 50 wolves in the next five years. Brought from somewhere in the northern Rockies. Released in south-central Colorado.

Those are some details in a new draft wolf management plan released by state wildlife managers Dec. 9. Under the measure, Colorado must put “paws on the ground” somewhere on the Western Slope by 2024 and offer fair compensation for lost livestock.

Here are some of the highlights from Colorado’s plan to rebuild a sustainable wolf population – something the state’s lacked for more than 80 years.

• Reintroduction pace:  30 to 50 wolves over the next three to five years.

• Wolf source locations: The preferred populations are from Wyoming, Montana and Idaho. The state could also consider Washington or Oregon.

• Release locations: The plan com-

mits to releasing wolves more than 60 miles from state borders to reduce the possibility they immediately migrate into neighboring states. In addition, the ballot initiative ordered releases on the Western Slope. The result is a “donut hole” in the south-central part of the state. The plan says next year’s release should occur in the area’s northern section, essentially the I-70 corridor between Vail and Glenwood.

• Legal protections: Wolves are currently an endangered species under state law. The plan outlines a system to decrease protections as the wolf population grows, reclassifying them as threatened if Colorado counts more than 50 wolves in four successive years. Wildlife officials could consider reclassifying wolves as a game species if there are more than 150 wolves for two years or more than 200 wolves in a single year. That change could open the door to a regulated wolf hunt.

• Lethal control: The state retains the right to kill wolves that develop a

habit of preying on livestock or damaging game populations.

• Compensation for lost livestock: There will be a system to pay ranchers more than the market value of animals if he or she proves a wolf loss. They can choose to receive up to seven times the value of the original animal or itemize the cost of additional losses, like livestock gaining less weight due to nearby wolves.

The agency will take public comment on the proposal through February before the commission takes a final vote in May.

The plan won immediate praise from nine out of 17 members of the Stakeholders Working Group – composed of conservation advocates, ranchers and hunters – who said the plan puts Colorado on the path to becoming a “beacon” for effective wolf conservation.

The proposed program to pay for lost livestock appealed to Erin Karney, the executive vice president of the Colorado Cat-

tlemen’s Association. She said her members wanted a system to cover both the value of lost livestock and any associated costs of living near the predators.

“If we want to make reintroduction successful, we need to make sure livestock producers are compensated,” Karney said. “I believe this will do so.”

Not everyone was so positive about the proposal.

Chris Smith, of WildEarth Guardians, said the draft confirms many of the coalition’s biggest fears. In his view, it gives wildlife managers unnecessary discretion to kill wolves, fails to close the door on a regulated wolf hunt and sets population targets far below what some biologists say is necessary for sustainability.

“There are some good elements in it, but it needs scrutiny from commission members who have scientific backgrounds,” Smith said.

For more from Colorado Public Radio, go to www.cpr.org.

Stuff to Do

Thursday15

Bingo Night, 5 p.m., Fenceline Cider, Mancos.

Live music, 5 p.m., The Office & Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

“The Approach 2” film premiere, 6 p.m., Ska Brewing, 215 Girard St.

Dustin Burley plays, 6-9 p.m., 11th Street Station.

Trivia Night, 6:30 p.m., Powerhouse Science Center, 1333 Camino del Rio.

Bar D Wranglers Christmas Jubilee, 7:30 p.m., Dec. 15, FLC Community Concert Hall. www.durangoconcerts.com

Friday16

Gary Walker plays, 10 a.m.-12 noon, Jean-Pierre Bakery & Restaurant, 610 Main Ave.

Live music, 5 p.m., The Office & Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Flannel & Frost Holiday Party, 5-8 p.m., La Plata County Fairgrounds, 2500 Main Ave.

Robin James plays, 5 p.m., Fenceline Cider, Mancos.

Live music, 5 p.m., The Office & Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Kirk James Blues Band plays, 6 p.m., Weminuche Woodfire Grill, Vallecito.

Community Yoga, 6-7 p.m., Yoga Durango, 1485 Florida Rd. Donations accepted.

Ike’s America Holiday Show, presented by Southwest Civic Winds Jazz Orchestra, VFW Post 4031, 1550 Main Ave.

Salsa Dance Night, 6:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

La La Bones plays, 7-10 p.m., 11th Street Station.

Monday19

Live music, 5 p.m., Diamond Belle & The Office, 699 Main Ave.

Happy Hour Yoga, 5:30 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

Meditation w/Kate Siber, 5:30 p.m., Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E. 3rd Ave, Suite 109.

Ladies Game & Poker Night, 6 p.m., 11th Street Station.

Comedy Showcase, weekly, 7:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Tuesday20

Live music, 5 p.m., The Office & Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Open Mic Night, 7:30-9:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Kitchen Jam Band plays, 5:30 p.m., Four Leaves Winery, 528 Main Ave.

Starlight Jam Session, 6 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Ben Gibson Duo plays, 6 p.m., Weminuche Woodfire Grill, Vallecito.

Ecstatic Dance, every Friday, 6:30-8:30 p.m., American Legion, 878 E. 2nd Ave.

Spaghetti Western plays, 7-10 p.m., 11th Street Station.

for “Stuff to Do” submissions

Deadline

is Monday at noon. To submit an item, email: calendar@durangotelegraph.com

“A Christmas Carol,” 7 p.m., FLC’s MainStage Theatre. Presented by Durango Theatreworks.

3rd Ave Arts presents “The Majesty of Christmas,” 7 p.m., St. Mark’s Episcopal Church, 910 E. 3rd Ave.

Durango Youth Theater presents “We Will Rock You,” 7 p.m., 802 E. 2nd Ave.

Saturday17

“A Christmas Carol,” 2 p.m., FLC’s Main tage Theatre. Presented by Durango Theatreworks.

Durango Youth Theater presents “We Will Rock You,” 2 p.m., 802 E. 2nd Ave.

“A Christmas Carol,” 7 p.m., FLC’s Main tage Theatre. Presented by Durango Theatreworks.

Durango Youth Theater presents “We Will Rock You,” 7 p.m., 802 E. 2nd Ave.

Sing-a-Long “Sound of Music,” 7:30 p.m., Smiley Café, 1309 E. 3rd Ave.

Silent Disco, 9 p.m.-11:30 p.m., 11th St. Station.

Sunday18

Veterans Benefit Breakfast, 9 a.m., VFW Post 4031, 1550 Main Ave.

“A Christmas Carol,” 2 p.m., FLC’s MainStage Theatre. Presented by Durango Theatreworks.

Durango Youth Theater presents “We Will Rock You,” 2 p.m., 802 E. 2nd Ave.

Feed the People! free mutual aid meal & winter gear drive for homeless community members, every Sunday, 2-4 p.m., Buckley Park.

Open Mic, 5 p.m., Fenceline Cider, Mancos.

Live music, 5 p.m., Diamond Belle & The Office, 699 Main Ave.

Jazz/Funk/Soul Jam, 5:30 p.m., 11th St. Station.

Sunday Funday, featuring games and prizes, 6 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Wednesday21

The Batteries, Acid Wrench and American Businessman play, 5 p.m., Anarchy Brewing Co., 225 E. 8th Ave.

Live music, 5 p.m., Diamond Belle & The Office, 699 Main Ave.

Paint & Sip Night, 5:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Geeks Who Drink Trivia, 8 p.m., The Roost, 128 E. College Dr.

Karaoke Roulette, 8 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Ongoing

“Life in Small Moments” art exhibit, Dec. 1March 1, FLC’s Center for Innovation, Durango Main Mall, 835 Main Ave.

Patische Art Exhibit, featuring seven local women artists, Smiley Café, 1309 E. 3rd Ave.

“Wild Kratts: Ocean Adventure! And Creature Power!” hands on STEM exhibits for children, runs until Jan. 7, Farmington Museum, 3041 E. Main St.

The Hive Indoor Skate Park, open skate and skate lessons. For schedule and online waiver, go to www.thehivedgo.org

AskRachel

Fan mail, cutting corners & grinchin’ out

Interesting fact: There are airtight (or spacetight) zippers that the astronauts use. I sure hope NASA pays more than $35 for flight suits.

Dear Rachel, Day one and I’m digging the new compact Telegraph. Then again, I like short things. Short stacks. Short films. I had an honest-togoodness dream, though, that whole swaths of people were angry about the paper. Made me wonder what kind of actual angry mail y’all are getting. What do you think of the new paper, Rachel?

– Friend in Me

Dear Short Stuff, It ain’t the height of the paper that matters; it’s the girth of the content. Let’s be grateful that there even is still a Telegraph. Imagine if we had to import printed issues from China, and you got your weekly dose a month late. Imagine if we went digital. You know someone would try lighting their stove with a Kindle.

– Had it up to here, Rachel

Dear Rachel, I bought new fake dress shoes on Black Friday. Fake because they were like $35 even

without a sale, but in a dark room they pass as decent boots. Second time wearing them and the zipper popped. Any home remedies?

–

Dear Dressed to the Threes,

Penny Loafer

The trick is to keep people entertained up top so they never look at your shoes. And no, I don’t mean hypnotized by your boobies (or your moobies). You can buy a couple books for $35. Make yourself interesting and your shoddy shoes will just become a likable quirk. But if brains aren’t really your thing, then at least buy a lot of dental floss for $35 instead.

– Hoofing it, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

My holiday spirit is nowhere to be found this year. I don’t actually celebrate any particular holiday, but I dig all the accoutrements. The music, the candles, the food, the parties, the lights, the drinking, the movies. I don’t feel like the Grinch this year, I’m not actively against the holidays, just can’t seem to get into the swing of things like I normally would. Is this normal, just part of finally growing up four-plus decades in?

– Lump of Coal

Email Rachel: telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

Dear Carbon Fuel, This is perfectly normal! It’s the part of every cheesy Christmas movie where everything falls apart and not even twinkle lights and a well-meaning country grandma can lift the protagonist’s spirits. I’m sure your rich heiress neighbor, or your romance columnist childhood friend, or your sexy snowplow driver, will rekindle your holiday cheer. If not, you can come get drunk with me. I’ll be alone with my short, unlit, Tele-sized tree.

– That’s how I keep Christmas, Rachel

FreeWillAstrology

by Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Aries painter Vincent van Gogh was renowned for translating his sublime and unruly passions into colors and shapes on canvas. It was a demanding task. He careened between torment and ecstasy. “I put my heart and soul into my work,” he said, “and I have lost my mind in the process.” That’s sad! But I have good news for you, Aries. In the coming months, you will have the potential to reach unprecedented new depths of zest as you put your heart and soul into your work and play. And hallelujah, you won’t lose your mind in the process! In fact, I suspect you will become more mentally healthy than you’ve been in a long time.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “The soul is silent,” writes Taurus poet Louise Glück. “If it speaks at all, it speaks in dreams.” I don’t agree with her in general, and I especially don’t agree with her in regard to your life in the coming weeks. I believe your soul will be singing, telling jokes, whispering in the dark and flinging out unexpected observations. Your soul will be extra alive and alert and awake, tempting you to dance in the grocery store and fling out random praise and fantasize about having your own podcast. Don’t underestimate how vivacious your soul might be, Taurus. Give it permission to be as fun and funny as it yearns to be.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The coming weeks will be an excellent time to expand your understanding about the nature of stress. Here are three study aids: 1. High stress levels are not healthy for your mind and body, but low to moderate stress can be good for you. 2. Low to moderate stress is even better for you if it involves dilemmas that you can ultimately solve. 3. There is a thing called “eustress,” which means beneficial stress. It arises from a challenge that evokes your vigor, resilience and willpower. As you deal with it, you feel hopeful and hardy. I bring these ideas to your attention, because you are primed to enjoy a rousing upgrade in your relationship with stress.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Long before he launched his illustrious career, Cancerian inventor Buckminster was accepted to enroll at Harvard University. Studying at such a prestigious educational institution was a high honor and set him up for a bright future. Alas, he was expelled for partying too hard. Soon he was working at odd jobs. His fortunes dwindled, and he grew depressed. But at age 32, he had a pivotal mystical experi-

ence. He seemed to be immersed in a globe of white light hovering above the ground. A disembodied voice spoke, telling him he “belonged to the universe” and that he would fulfill his life purpose if he applied himself to serving “the highest advantage of others.” How would you like a Buckminster Fuller-style intervention, Cancerian? It’s available if you want it and ask for it.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Leo-born Judith Love Cohen was an electrical engineer who worked on NASA’s Apollo Space Program. She was also the mother of the famous actor Jack Black. When she was nine months pregnant with Jack, on the day she went into labor, she performed a heroic service. On their way to the moon, the three astronauts aboard the Apollo 13 spacecraft had encountered a major systems failure. In the midst of her birth process, Cohen carried out advanced troubleshooting that helped save their lives and bring their vehicle safely back to Earth. I don’t expect you to achieve such a monumental feat in the coming days, Leo. But I suspect you will be extra intrepid and even epic in your efforts.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): When you’re at the height of your powers, you provide the people in your life with high-quality help and support. And I believe you could perform this role even stronger in 2023. Here are some of the best benefits you can offer: 1. Assist your allies in extracting bright ideas from confusing mishmashes. 2. Help them cull fertile seeds from decaying dross. 3. As they wander through messy abysses, aid them in finding where the redemption is. 4. Cheer on their successes with wit and charm.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): A blogger named Daydreamydyke explains the art of bestowing soulful gifts. Don’t give people you care for generic consumer goods, she tells us. Instead, say to them, “I picked up this cool rock I found on the ground that reminded me of you,” or “I bought you this necklace for 50 cents at a yard sale because I thought you’d like it,” or “I’ve had this odd little treasure since childhood, but I feel like it could be of use to you or give you comfort, so I want you to have it.” That’s the spirit I hope you will adopt during the holiday season, Libra.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In 1957, engineers Alfred Fielding and Marc Chavannes invented three-dimensional plastic wallpaper. No one bought the stuff, though. A few years later, they rebranded it as Bubble Wrap and marketed it as material to protect packages

during shipment. Success! Its new use has been popular ever since. I suspect you are in a comparable phase. Be alert for new applications of possibilities that didn’t quite make a splash the first time around.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I applaud your expansive curiosity. I admire your yearning to learn more and more about our mysterious world as you add to your understanding of how the game of life works. Your greed for interesting experiences is good greed! It is one of your most beautiful qualities. But now and then, there come times when you need to scale down your quest for fresh, raw truths and work on integrating what you have already absorbed. The coming weeks will be one of those times.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Better than most, you have a rich potential to attune yourself to the cyclical patterns of life. It’s your birthright to become skilled at discerning natural rhythms at work in the human comedy. Even more fortunately, Capricorn, you can be deeply comforted by this awareness. Educated by it. Motivated by it. I hope that in 2023, you will develop your capacity to the next level. The cosmic flow will be on your side as you strive to feel the cosmic flow.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Anne, a character in a book by L. M. Montgomery, says she prefers the word “dusk” over “twilight” because it sounds so “velvety and shadowy.” She continues, “In daylight, I belong to the world ... in the night to sleep and eternity. But in the dusk, I’m free from both and belong only to myself.” According to my astrological assessment, you Aquarians will go through a dusk-like phase in the coming weeks: a time when you will belong solely to yourself and any other creature you choose to join you in your velvety, shadowy emancipation.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): My Piscean friend Venus told me, “We Pisceans feel everything very intensely, but alas, we do not possess the survival skills of a Scorpio or the enough-is-enough, self-protective mechanism of the Cancerians. We are the water sign most susceptible to being engulfed and flooded and overwhelmed.” I think Venus is somewhat correct in her assessment. But I also believe you Fishes have a potent asset that you may not fully appreciate. Your ability to tune into the very deepest levels of emotion potentially provides you with access to a divine power source beyond your personality. If you allow it to give you all of its gifts, it will keep you shielded and safe and supported.

Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon. Ads are a bargain at 10 cents a character with a $5 minimum. Even better, ads can now be placed online: durangotelegraph.com. Prepayment is required via cash, credit card or check. (Sorry, no refunds or substitutions.) Ads can be submitted via: n www.durangotelegraph.com n classifieds@durango telegraph.com n 970-259-0133

n 679 E. 2nd Ave., #E2

Approximate office hours:

Mon-Wed: 9ish - 5ish

Thurs: On delivery

Fri: Gone fishing; call first

Announcements

Got SPY Puts?

Local day trader seeks other local traders for comradery, idea sharing. 970-749-4959

Mind Body Spirit Fair

VFW Durango, Jan 21 & Apr 22. 105. Looking for holistic healers, readers, healing products, chair massage, etc.  CJ Marten weipcj@gmail.com

Classes/Workshops

Ski / Snowboard Rental Tech

Performance Sports at Cascade Village has openings for experienced and entry level rental ski & board technicians. We offer the best pay in the industry, an awesome work environment, great deals on equipment and your own season pass to Purgatory! Please email durangoski rentals@gmail.com to apply

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Recalibrate Commitment to Self

4-week intensive to help you identify deeper body challenges, empower yourself, create new habits. Jan 2-23rd, 2023. Call 970-799-8950, email char lotte_lenssen@yahoo.com

West Coast Swing Dance

6-week class starts January 4. Learn the basics of West Coast Swing. Registration is required at www.westslope westies.com.

HelpWanted

Durango Montessori is Hiring!!

Durango Montessori School is hiring an Assistant Teacher starting Jan. 2nd. The full-time position is in the Lower Elementary Classroom, working with 1st and 2nd graders. Contact the Director at director@durangomontessori .com for more information.

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We’re aware of the multiple issues folks face around here & are crazily motivated to help! We do that by writing: success stories, blog posts, exec. summaries, white papers, emails, grant applications, website content, training docs, press releases, & more. We also offer graphic & website design & audits. We are enthusiastic & all about effectiveness. Let’s work together - helping people - by providing YOUR solutions. Check us out at www.cwjohnlcox.com. Contact: 970.844.0535 or johnandliz ziecopywriters@gmail.com.

Harmony Cleaning and Organizing

Residential, offices, commercial and vacation rentals, 970-403-6192.

Lowest Prices on Storage!

Inside/outside storage near Durango and Bayfield. 10-x-20, $130. Outside spots: $65, with discounts available. RJ Mini Storage. 970-259-3494.

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Three Sweet Indoor Cats

Need a new home because their owner passed away unexpectedly. Ideal home has no dogs and someone who is home often. Please call if you can take one or all. 970-903-8058.

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1100-sf Office/Retail Space

in Bodo Park Ground floor with open-front floor plan & back-of-house space + 1/2 bath & kitchenette. Wheelchair access ramp & on-site parking. Short- or long-term lease avail. $1600 a month. 970-799-3732

Wanted

Cash for Vehicles, Copper, Alum Etc. at RJ Metal Recycle. Also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970-259-3494.

ForSale

Reruns Home Furnishings

Warm up your space with quality pre-owned furniture and décor. Vintage dish/glassware – great for entertaining. Retro cocktail glasses and decanters, Crat & Barrel dishes, etc. … 572 E. 6th Ave. Open Mon.-Sat. 385-7336.

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Fine Wood Breakfront

153 ½”x89” hand-crafted fine wood breakfront. $2,500. Call Bob at 973454-5551 to receive spec sheets.

BodyWork

Crusher Fat Bike

2015 Sun Bicycles 7-speed, exc. cond. Barely ridden. Would make a great holiday gift. MSRP: $530, asking: $450, firm. 970-903-0005.

The Perfect Gift

A therapeutic massage is the perfect gift. Buy 4 get $40 off. Also offer mobiles service. Call 970-799-8950, email charlotte_lenssen@yahoo.com

In-Home Fitness Training

Free Consultation. Diane Brady NSCA-CPT. 970-903-2421.

Massage by Meg Bush LMT, 30, 60 & 90 min., 970-7590199.

Lotus Path Healing Arts

A unique fusion of Esalen, deep tissue & Acutonics, 24 years experience. Call Kathryn, 970-201-3373.

‘The Banshees of Inisherin’ Lovely views of the isle, hideous views of human behavior

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