The Durango Telegraph, Jan. 25, 2024

Peace, love and poutine

elegraph the durango

FREE Jan. 25, 2024 Vol. XXIII, No. 3 durangotelegraph.com

inside

T H E

O R I G I N A L

I N D I E

W E E K L Y

L I N E

O N

D U R A N G O

&

B E Y O N D

Bridging the gap

Sedentary pursuits

Over the hill

Transitioning to renewables may not be so onerous p5

When life derails biking, it’s time to get crafty p9

How to make the X Games really interesting p11

HEY! Taking more than

1 paper is stealing! *Yes, it’s fine if you want to bring one to your nextdoor neighbor, friends, grandma, etc. Just don’t poach the whole stack.

That’s lame.

If you need extra papers for fire-starter, piñatas, hamster cages, gift wrap or stuffing in your walls, we keep backstock at many of our racks around town including:

• The Durango Post Office • Peerless Tire • Tele HQ, 679 E. 2nd Ave. Or give us a call at 970-259-0133 & we’ll try to hook you up.

2 n Jan. 25, 2024

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lineup

4 La Vida Local

Paper chase

Mental hygiene Cleaning up bad habits in the new year starts at home

by Zach Hively

5 Writers on the Range 6-7 Soapbox

8

8 State News 9 Gossip of the Cyclers

Out of the bag Colorado’s plastic bag ban goes into full effect, but enforcement varies

10 Kill Yr Idols

by Paolo Zialcita / Colorado Public Radio

11 End of the Line

9

12-13 Stuff to Do 13 Ask Rachel

Flatting out When life sidelines your biking habits, it is possible to still find joy

14 Free Will Astrology

by Jennaye Derge

15 Classifieds

10

15 Haiku Movie Review

Girl power

On the cover Doing some extreme sledding on the Nature Trail during a recent dump./Photo by Andy High

Retro rockin’ Suffrajettes highlight a year of new beginnings

boilerplate

by Jon E. Lynch

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T

he Durango Telegraph publishes every Thursday, come hell, high water, tacky singletrack or mon-

Ear to the ground: “I did dry January. For five days.”

– Hey, it’s a start

STAR-STUDDED CAST: Zach Hively, Rob Pudim, Dave Marston, Jon E. Lynch, Jim Duke, Rob Brezsny, Jennaye Derge, Lainie Maxson, Jesse Anderson & Clint Reid

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thepole

4

RegularOccurrences

The Sneer is back – and no we’re not talking about Billy Idol’s comeback tour.

After taking a haitus last year, Durango’s belovedly snarky Snowdown publication is reportedly back in action for 2024. The Telegraph got the scoop on good intel from the small town rumor mill, which was confirmed by a source who said they would hunt me down and string me up by my go-go boots if I revealed their identity.

“The Sneer is coming back. How did you know?” said the source, who we’ll call Wavy Gravy, since it goes with this year’s “peace and love” theme. “People were obviously missing it. I didn’t realize how many fans it had.”

Unlike past renditions of The Sneer, in which no one was spared from cheap laughs and good-natured public ridicule, this year’s iteration promises to be a kinder, gentler version of its former self. “We’re trying to make it a very nice publication; cheeky but not poking real fun,” said Gravy.

For the record – and despite theories to the contrary – The Sneer is not produced by yours truly, but is the product of some other equally brilliant local smart asses. In fact, not even spokesperson Gravy claimed to know who the real creators are.

“I have no idea who does it. They want to stay anonymous,” he said. “I’ll claim I don’t know sh**.”

However, Gravy said the Sneer is putting out a call to would-be contributors to write for next year’s Sneer. After they swear on their mother’s grave and take a solemn oath to never divulge the real perpetrators.

While Gravy claimed he did not know when The Sneer would hit newsstands – likely under the cover of night – Snowdown 2024 begins in earnest this Fri., Jan. 26. In recent years, the typical five days of debauchery has morphed into an all-out 10day bacchanal.

“It’s due to the sheer number of events.

We’ve gone from 61 events in the ’70s to more than 180 now,” said Gravy, adding that this year’s Snowdown – the 40th – is the biggest yet.

“Snowdown’s gonna be monstrous this year,” he said. “We’re past COVID, and everyone’s doing their thing now.”

So go forth, all you hippies and flower children – it’s time to party like it’s 1969. Just remember to pace yourself – and look out for the brown acid.

Jan. 25, 2024 n 3

opinion

LaVidaLocal Brushing up Listen up, especially if you have already fallen behind on, or off of, or under your New Year’s resolutions: It turns out that, in my own personal estimation, the concept of a New Year’s resolution is a stupid one that we should all feel free to ignore.

I mean, who is society to tell us that we need to become better people, anyway? The whole New Year holiday is probably just a product of Big Resolution, or the patriarchy, or Hallmark, or some other cabal that wants us to feel, generally, like doo doo. New Year’s resolutions require me – and probably you, but let’s stay focused here – to imagine I will wake up on a specific date with a drive, efficiency, rigor and timeliness heretofore unrealized in a lifetime of Januarys.

Resolutions make as much sense as believing I will stop texting at red lights just as soon as my odometer turns over. But for real this time.

That said, I have decided this year not to be a better person, certainly, but to be a person better at time management. We’re already several weeks in, and I’m very nearly ready to get started.

And I am going to start with brushing my teeth.

Which, let’s be clear, I already do! – because I hate lying to my dental hygienist about more than just the flossing. But I have resolved to become better at managing my time while polishing up my pearlies.

Here’s what happens when I’m brushing my teeth: I don’t know what happens. I think I am getting to bed at a decent hour, sometimes defined as “still nighttime.”

All that’s left to do is brush my teeth, which I have somewhere in my head should take three to five minutes. I load up those bristles with paste and get to it, with all my focus and presence to ensure each tooth gets a fair shake.

I finish. I spit. I rinse. And I see that 20, 30, sometimes even more than 50 minutes have passed, and these I cannot account for.

This experience, not unlike intergalactic wormhole traveling, overwhelms me with ominous questions regarding the truths of time and space. Such as: if I brush my teeth for half an hour each night, do I still need to brush them in the morning, or have I met my daily aggregate quota? And: should I set a timer for myself to keep on track, or would I just brush right through it, much like I

snooze through my A.M. alarms because I’m so tired from brushing my teeth all night long?

These are the great unanswerables. And, like the Carpenters, we have only just begun.

Because, in much the same way I have lost years of my life to long-form dental care, my entire morning typically passes by unaccounted for. Some nice public servant, like the woman at the post office or my therapist, can ask me how my day has been. “Good,” I will say. “I got up with my fourth alarm, made breakfast, put on clean pants, and here I am.”

To which they always say, “It’s three o’clock.”

They’re right. Many hours pass between getting up and leaving the house – and I cannot account for most of their whereabouts. But the hours FEEL full. I do not experience the wasting of time. Nor do I experience coffee taking 45 minutes to make, or breakfast two hours, or running out of time to put on clean pants so I lie about that part to save face.

The truth is out there. To find it, I think I need to make the mystery less personal. It’s not about how I, me, Zach, suck at time management, or executive functioning, or baseline life necessities. No, no! There is a cause here, a scientific one possibly, that I can puzzle out if I just become a dispassionate self-observer. Like a zoologist.

Jane Goodall is, unfortunately, both expensive and also unavailable to mentor me. So I have contemplated buying a nanny cam to record my mornings and chronicle what, exactly, I am doing around here. Do I stare at walls in a fugue state? Do I have a second identity living inside me who timeshares this body? Have I simply lived my life so far under extreme misconceptions of time and how much of it I really have?

This attitude makes me believe I have better things to do than order that nanny cam, and not only because I am too close to deadline for it to arrive before then. After all, there is a life to be lived, with whatever time I’ve got! Plus, if I record my entire morning, then I will spend my entire afternoon reviewing the nanny cam. And if my usual relationship with time continues its current pattern, it will take up my entire evening, too. And then I REALLY won’t have time to floss.

– Zach Hively

Thumbin’It A statewide plastic bag ban officially went into effect Jan. 1 after a yearlong grace period. Yes, this means you may need to go back to your car to grab your reusable bags, but the sea turtles and dolphins thank you.

4 n Jan. 25, 2024

SignoftheDownfall: Colorado saw its first avalanche fatality this week with a 67-year-old man near Ophir. Even though conditions were rated as moderate, never let your guard down, people. Things are still sketchy.

Durango Transit ridership was up 23% in 2023 vs. 2022, partly due to the City’s free fare program last summer.

Fares will be lifted again this summer, which means you can ride free and also text to your heart’s content.

Wha?! Greta Gerwig, the mastermind behind the mega blockbuster “Barbie,” which humorously skewered the patriarchy, was snubbed by the Oscars for a best director nomination. Nevermind the good old boys, Greta – we think you’re kenough.

Snowdown is back and better than ever with the re-appearance of The Sneer and more than 180 events. All we need now is the return of the cream pie hit squad.

What happened to winter? It’s feeling a lot like the endless mud season out there. We know, complaining will only make it rain harder next time.

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The Windy Pity On the sidewalk near 1918 W. Roscoe St., in Chicago, there’s a pothole that looks like a rat. Recently, local artist Winslow Dumaine put a plastic rat in the hole, took a picture, and then went viral on social media. The post has been viewed more than 5 million times to date. And now, what used to be a quiet, residential sidewalk is plagued by hundreds of tourists daily who’d rather see “The Chicago Rat Hole” than actual attractions like The Art Institute or Wrigley Field. But then again, The Cubs play at Wrigley, and potholes are much more reliable.

WritersontheRange

Minding the gap Energy guru says bridging energy transition easier than we think

by Dave Marston

T

he experts tell us an energy gap looms. Fossil fuels are phasing out, and solar and wind power can’t produce enough electricity to meet the demand in coming decades.

But that’s not the thinking of Amory Lovins, 76-year-old co-founder of RMI, formerly the Rocky Mountain Institute, in western Colorado.

A Harvard and Oxford dropout who’s been called the “Einstein of Energy Efficiency,” Lovins said recently: “If we do the right things, we’ll look back and ask each other, ‘What was all the fuss about?’”

Lovins became famous in the 1970s after his research told him that building more polluting coal-fired power plants was a destructive mistake. His solution then was greater efficiency and reliance on renewables, and they, he insists, are still the answer.

“Though it’s invisible, efficiency will cut 50% of energy use and up to 80% if we do the right things,” he told me recently. “Most of the energy we use is wasted, which makes it much cheaper to save it, rather than buy it or burn it.”

According to a recent Princeton paper, he’s right: 84% of all energy consumed goes to waste during delivery or by leakage.

To prove it decades ago, he built a passive solar, super-insulated house in Old Snowmass, Colo. It never had a heating system, though winters sometimes recorded temperatures 40 degrees below zero.

When I arrived there recently at 8 a.m., it was 12 degrees F. Yet the house featured banana and papaya trees growing in natural light around a koi pond.

We became acquainted when he read my January 2023 “Writers on the Range” column entitled; “The energy gap nobody wants to tussle with.” I’d

Energy guru Amory Lovins harvests solar bananas in his indoor garden in his home near Aspen, all without a heating system./ Photo Courtesy Judy Hill Lovins advocated building small modular nuclear reactors to bolster the grid when the wind doesn’t blow and the sun doesn’t shine.

Lovins called to set me straight, and after a second conversation and more research, I’m beginning to think he’s right.

Though Lovins has many solutions for the energy gap, he touts three major ways to find more energy in what we already do. Top on the list is changing how we build and retrofit existing structures because buildings consume 75% of the electricity we buy.

Most energy jobs in the United States are already increasing efficiency, ranging from upgrading windows and other retrofits, far outpacing the shrinking fossil fuels industry (energy.gov).

As one example, Lovins advocates “outsulation” for older structures, defined as adding exterior insulating panels to save heat. Courtesy of the European Union, my Irish in-laws recently had their house “wrapped” and saw their heating bills plummet.

His second way is demand-response, which Lovins calls flexiwatts. An example is cycling air conditioners off for 1530 minutes at a time, a barely noticeable adjustment that cuts demand for peakpower plants, those big emitters of greenhouse gases.

His third way is using renewables more effectively. Diversifying renewables by location and type within a region evens gaps from windless and cloudy weather.

As for electric cars being a drain on

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the grid, they will prove to be sources of electricity, he said, as the next generation batteries will be cheaper and likely have double the storage. Daytime solar stored in vehicles will be bi-directional, spooling out power during peak evening demand.

Lovins also cites LED lights dramatically cutting the cost of energy. In just a decade, they’ve become 30 times more efficient, 20 times brighter and 10 times cheaper.

Lovins is quick to admit that an energy gap remains, but he predicts a single-digit gap of 6% between what renewables produce and what’s needed.

That, he said, can be made up by stored, green hydrogen or ammonia, manufactured from water and air with solar energy and burned in existing gas plants.

As for nuclear power plants, Lovins said even the best-case scenarios for the next generation of nuclear generators are at least a decade away, and at least eight times more costly than renewables today.

“It’s better to use fast, cheap and certain rather than slow, costly and speculative,” he said.

Though cutting loose from fossil fuels is a massive undertaking, Lovins said America is on track. “We are on or ahead of schedule on renewables, with 85% of net new additions to the grid from renewables, and $1 billion invested in solar in the United States daily.”

For these reasons and more, Lovins sees our energy future as more of what we’re already doing – only smarter and faster.

Let’s hope he’s right. ■ Dave Marston is the publisher of Writers on the Range, writersontherange.org, an independent nonprofit that exists to spur lively dialog about the West. He lives in Durango.

Jan. 25, 2024 n 5

SoapBox ‘Euclidean Winter’ Moon, clouds, and hillside Geometrical whiteness Sphere, planes, and inclines – Karen Carver, Durango

Trump must be stopped This month marks three years since the January 6th insurrection – a direct attack on our democracy, our freedom to vote and a preview of how far Trump is willing to go to cling to power. January 6th was the violent and deadly culmination of a months-long criminal conspiracy after the 2020 election, when Trump attempted to stop the peaceful transfer of power for the first time in American history.

But even as he faces multiple indictments for this criminal conspiracy he led, Trump is still running for president in 2024.

If elected to a second term, Trump pledges to weaponize the Department of Justice to seek revenge against his political opponents, to pardon himself and his allies for crimes they commit, and to deploy the military against demon-

6 n Jan. 25, 2024

D-Tooned/by Rob Pudim strators exercising their First Amendment rights – all while purging the federal government of anyone who doesn’t agree with him.

After seeing how far Trump was willing to go on January 6th, we should take these campaign promises seriously.

Trump and his allies pose an urgent threat to our democracy, our fundamental freedoms and the rule of law. It’s up to all of us to ensure they do not return to power.

–Amy Sutton, Durango

A little off base I’d like to lodge a minor complaint with the “All about that base” article (“Flash in the Pan,” Jan. 11, 2024).

While the article does a great job of explaining the role of alkalinity in the kitchen, one part stands out: “It raises the pH by increasing the number of free protons in the pot.”

As a science teacher, I feel dutybound to point out that under most models of acid-base interactions, a base actually accepts protons from the surroundings and lowers the number of free protons. As in most natural things,

the reality is a hair more complicated than that, but changing “increasing” to “decreasing” in that sentence would

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improve the article.

–Peter Fogg, aka Count Base-y, Durango

Blood, thunder and Carson I enjoyed reading the article “Scrubbing Kit Carson,” (Telegraph, Dec. 28, 2023.) The Hampton Sides book “Blood and Thunder” is definitely worth the read. It shows all sides of a complicated man and the times he lived in.

Trivia: At the Battle of Val Verde in 1862, along the Rio Grande near Socorro, N.M., Carson and his small band of U.S. Army troops held up and delayed the Confederate Army from Texas that intended to invade Colorado. The Confederate Army captured Albuquerque and Santa Fe, but was defeated at Glorietta, N.M., just northeast of Santa Fe. Yes, the Civil War was also fought in New Mexico.

Colorado volunteer leader and Union Army officer John Chivington was instrumental in the Union victory at Glorietta. Two years later, he commanded the troops that committed the Sand Creek Massacre east of Denver.

Anyway, do read “Blood and Thunder.”

–Jim Askew, New Mexico

Speak now to save Kane Creek My name is Laura and I am a concerned resident in Moab, Utah. There’s talk of a massive development in the scenic and sensitive Colorado River corridor just outside of town. As a community, we are trying to spread the word and get people involved. Moab is a special place for many.

The planned development of Kings Bottom and the surrounding area along Kane Creek Boulevard is stirring a range of emotions. Residents of Grand County are concerned about the potential impacts of this

large-scale development including environmental and socio-economic issues. Unfortunately, the absence of clear communication and transparency regarding this project leaves many residents confused and in the dark.

The developers’ vision is to build a neighborhood of 2,000 high-end residential units in the scenic Colorado River corridor, increasing the total residential units in the county by 37%. This project is in a flood zone, so the ground elevation must be raised by 10 feet required by FEMA, which revised the map in late 2020.

There are also plans to build 70,000 square feet of commercially zoned land (1.25 football fields) in the area.

Speculations vary from a swanky glamping resort to an up-scale strip mall. Perhaps most concerning is the sewage treatment plant necessary for the large subdivision that will be built next to the river.

The developers and their influential connections, including Utah politicians, have been navigating the bureaucratic hurdles since 2019. Today, Salt Lake Excavating is working hard with big yellow machines and the mass grading project is under way, while many questions remain unanswered.

Is the Department of Emergency Management prepared to respond out there in case of a fire or flood?

Are Grand County taxpayers prepared to pay for that?

Who is paying for the dilapidated road to be rebuilt now and in the future? Have we thought about traffic management in the already heavily trafficked Kane Creek area? Will these 2,000 units serve as second homes or investment properties for people who are not active in our community? Is there no value in preserving the spaces that provide people with a sense of tran-

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quility and a remote feel? Does this project not contribute to the challenges and difficulties local residents continually battle to have a fair and just quality of life?

According to the Grand County General Plan 2030, “Smart growth means a collection of land use and development principles that aim to enhance our quality of life, preserve the natural environment and save money over time. Smart growth principles ensure that growth is fiscally, environmentally and socially responsible and recognizes the connections between development and quality of life.”

Growth is not a bad thing. The key is to ensure that growth aligns with the spirit of the community – with the people that live and work here, rather than with a few wealthy developers and their investors. These outof-towners lack an understanding of the community’s dynamics and should not be dictating its future for personal profit.

If you are concerned I urge you to ask questions and get involved immediately. Contact keepGCgrand@gmail.com to sign the petition and discuss with others. Your voice matters!

–Laura Long, Moab, Utah

“We’ll print almost anything”

The Telegraph prides itself on a liberal letters policy. We have only three requests: limit letters to 500 words; letters must be signed by the writer; and thank-you lists and libelous, personal attacks are unwelcome. Send your profundities by Monday at noon to telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

Jan. 25, 2024 n 7

StateNews

Bagging it

State platic bag ban is in full effect, but enforcement varies

by Paolo Zialcita / Colorado Public Radio

C

olorado’s statewide plastic bag ban took effect this year, but city and municipal governments are still divided on how to enforce it.

The language of the law passed in 2021 required large businesses that operate in Colorado to stop providing single-use plastic carryout bags by Jan. 1, 2024. Inventory purchased before 2024 can still be provided to customers through June 1. After that, businesses may continue providing recycled paper bags at a 10 cent fee.

Cities and counties are responsible for enforcing the law, and local governments were given a year to prepare.

In 2023, businesses were allowed to continue offering plastic bags if they charged a 10 cent fee per bag.

Local governments receive 60 percent of the fees collected. Businesses keep the remainder.

The responsibility of enforcing the plastic bag ban was put at the feet of local governments, but the law doesn’t outline how governments should implement it.

That’s led to an array of approaches.

Denver introduced its own plastic bag fee in 2021, giving it a head start on the statewide ban. The 10-cent fee the county introduced prior to the new ban’s passage meant Denver had relatively few changes to make.

“We have a robust infrastructure in place and the Office of Climate Action Sustainability and Resiliency has been enforcing,” Blake Adams, manager of the city’s Zero Waste and Circular Economy program, said.

While Denver has had the 10 cent fee since 2021, businesses in city limits weren’t required to get rid of plastic bags entirely until the statewide ban took effect.

Adams said the city has staff that will visit large businesses to ensure compliance. Businesses that aren’t complying may be subject to warnings or fines.

Other cities, such as Grand Junction, are taking a more passive approach. Tamra Allen, community development director for Grand Junction, said officials are focused on providing information and education to businesses but won’t be sending city employees to verify compliance. Allen said the city is confident businesses will follow the new rules without government interference. “We are actually seeing good compliance to the law,” Allen said.

One incentive for ensuring compliance could be the portion of the 10-cent bag fee businesses are required to pay local governments.

Adams said Denver has collected about $5 million in fees since it introduced it in 2021. Grand Junction collected about $174,000 last year. Pueblo said it doesn’t plan to collect fees until April 2024, at which point businesses will pay a lump sum of what they’ve collected since 2023.

Rogelio V. Solis/AP Photo File Adams noted the fees have gotten lower as shoppers have adapted to the ban. He expects that to continue when single-use plastic bags disappear all together.

“We actually expect that those remittance fees will drastically decrease over time, which is really the idea of this incentive or this policy – is to not burden customers with additional costs, but incentivize more sustainable behavior,” he said.

The state law declares that “small stores” that operate solely in Colorado and have fewer than three locations do not have to abide by the ban. However, they must continue to charge 10 cents per single-use bag.

Local governments have the option to enact stricter rules starting in July.

For more from Colorado Public Radio, go to www.cpr.org ■

It’s not hairy shopping at Jimmy’s.

Hours: Tues. - Fri. 11-6; Sat. 11-5 • www.jimmysmusic.supply 1239 Main Ave., Durango • 970-764-4577 8 n Jan. 25, 2024

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GossipoftheCyclers

Flatlining

Finding joy beyond biking when life throws curveballs

by Jennaye Derge

D

uring the summer of 2022, I rode bikes a bunch. Mostly big days in the mountains, long stretches of gravel roads or singletrack in town. I rode hard until the fall of 2022, when I participated in a cyclocross race where there was alcohol, drugs and adrenaline. Whether or not those were to blame, I decidedly got overzealous and while coming down a weird hill, around a strange turn, I crashed, head over the front wheel, chest contacting the handlebars.

Apparently there was a “cracking” noise that “came from me,” but I thought not much of it. I was surprised when a race attendant came running up to me with that “holy shit” face that you never want anyone to make at you, but I just lifted my mangled bike, assessed myself, assured him I was fine, readjusted my crooked seatpost and handlebars, and jumped back on for another handful of chaotic miles.

The next day I tried to go for a short mountain bike ride with my friends.

About a quarter of the way in, I found myself rubbing a pain in my chest and trying to stretch out my arms to relieve it. By the time we got near the end of the trail, I was steering my bike with one hand and trying not to breathe too much while I made a harrowing effort to ride home.

After not being able to lay on my side, reach for things or laugh, it was pretty obvious I had broken a rib. As a result, besides some attempts at riding my bike to work with one hand, my bikes sat untouched in my garage for a while.

I eventually recovered from that injury, but one by one, and as time went on, my friends were also needing to step off their bikes for one reason or another: illnesses, injuries, jobs and big life changes like having babies. All kinds of curve balls have popped up, and because of it, we’ve all started to slow our rolls; what I’ve recently started to refer to as “flatlining.”

In other words, our activity statuses have steadily been calculated at zero.

Zero miles, zero elevation gain, zero QOM’s, and zero likes, medals or trophies on our Strava accounts. Just a flat, orange line across the graphs showing

that we were not being that athletic person that we used to be. We are privately and publicly out of the game.

I say “we,” but I predominantly speak of me because as of this winter, I’ve flatlined again.

It’s not because of a broken rib. This time I had some weird health stuff going on that seemed to only get worse the more I rode my bike (or partook in any athletic activity). So for the sake of my body, I stopped recreating. The big miles have been put to bed, and all I can muster are my short in-town commutes.

I had to bow out of Durango’s bonus dry spell in December, when trails were still

rideable, and any attempts at getting my slice of the hero dirt pie was punished. I stuck with walking around my neighborhood while my dog dragged me by his leash and peed on everything.

Flatlining is nothing new, but it knocks us off our axis nonetheless. It doesn’t have to be bike riding, it could be skiing, running, lacrosse, bowling or pickleball. Maybe you hurt your hand, and you can no longer paint, play the piano or throw pottery. Maybe you deal with headaches so you can’t read your favorite books or scroll Instagram.

Maybe you had knee surgery and can’t walk your dog. No matter what, we’ve

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all dealt with not being able to do what we love and not getting those little drops of dopamine that we so heavily rely on. And when it’s not in our control, it sucks even more. We have to figure out a new way to function outside of our Old Faithfuls that always makes us feel good. We need to pivot.

I myself have gone 100% in on reading books again. No fiction novel is off limits. No author is safe. I also started decorating my previously empty house. In the process, I found my old knitting needles, so I picked up knitting again. Does anyone want a hat? I can make hats.

I’ve had energy that would normally be put toward pedaling up big hills and then coming home and crashing on the couch with a piece of bread and peanut butter. So I tried this thing called “cooking.” Turns out, without riding 2,000 feet up mountains or 40 miles on gravel roads, I am a full-on, domesticated Martha freaking Stewart. I even signed up for a Pinterest account.

I already see a therapist, so losing biking as my “therapy” wasn’t a huge deal.

However, I do find much more joy in walking my dog these days. His leashpulling is only mildly annoying now, where it used to make me want to unhook him and tell him to “be free like your ancestors!” Now, if I don’t take the time to let my dog sniff the entire neighborhood while I listen to podcasts, then I genuinely feel a little bummed.

I spend time with my friends where we can sit, laugh and talk instead of pedaling uphill heaving and ho-ing.

Dating looks a lot different these days.

Turns out, you can really get to know someone over a meal rather than chasing them down singletrack. Is it better to get to know someone over a meal and a conversation? I don’t know yet. Chasing someone is also really fun. But for now, I’ll take what I can get.

And yes, I still ride my bike around town to commute, so I have that, my saving grace. But until I get an “all clear” from my doctor to do the big miles – or anything athletic that makes me happy – I’ll have to pivot by having conversations over good meals, talking everyone’s ear off about a book I just read and knitting you a truly terrible hat. ■ Jan. 25, 2024 n 9

KillYrIdols

Looking ahead What I’m excited about in 2024 (and no, these are not resolutions)

by Jon E. Lynch

H

ow are your New Year’s resolutions coming along? I’m not inquiring to deride or chastise; I’m genuinely curious. I certainly don’t want to make you feel bad about where you’re at with them. I am open about my general disdain around resolutions.

Mostly, I’m uneasy with the unnecessary pressure placed on the individual by the societal construct that “YOU MUST RESOLVE TO DO <BLANK>” because it’s the start of a new calendar year. NYR’s are totally your prerogative and, frankly, should be yours and yours alone. Just don’t be too hard on yourself.

I’m pro-goal. Have goals. Aspire to be better, do new things, shift course. Challenging oneself and pushing the boundary of what’s personally comfortable is paramount. I also believe it to be just that: personal.

Here is a handful of things I’m personally looking forward to this coming year, generally speaking and musically adjacent.

1) Next month, The Surfrajettes are playing The Animas City Theatre.

I’m in a minor lull with respect to seeing music out and about. On Sat., Feb. 17, the Toronto all-femme quartet brings its “clever mix of psychedelic rock and reverb-drenched surf music, sky-high beehives, go-go boots and eyeliner as thick as their guitar strings.” It’s nice to have things to look forward to – this show is one of them. I’d get tickets soon, as local buzz has been steadily building. Tickets are $20 in advance and $25 day of show – but I’d get them at animascitytheatre.com today.

2) Dialing healthy sleep habits. I go through waves of good sleep and notso-good sleep patterns, like many. Seems like I need to remind myself to stay vigilant or suffer the consequences. Some sort of daily exercise and limiting screen time are obvious, but I need the reminder. I’m putting it here for a modicum of accountability. I’ve slept well and I’ve slept terribly; I prefer the latter.

3) Record releases on the horizon. It’s always a gas to mark up my calendar with albums I’m looking forward to. In the first quarter of the year alone, expect new releases from the likes of Ty Segall, The Smile, J Mascis (Dinosaur Jr.),

10 n Jan. 25, 2024

All-femme Canadian quartet The Surfrajettes are bringing the buzz to the Animas City Theatre on Feb. 17 Chelsea Wolfe, Idles, The Jesus & Mary Chain, Chastity Belt, Kim Gordon (Sonic Youth), Pissed Jeans, Mary Timony, Ride, Sheer Mag, Gouge Away and many more. Hell, these are just the artists I know have releases on the docket. This doesn’t even include bands I’m unaware of or unfamiliar with. I may be more excited for the unknowns.

4) Continuing to improve on my person. This is a fairly broad one. I’ve done a whole lot of damage to myself physically and mentally and perhaps, more importantly, to others over the years. Last year was maybe the first time I started looking – really looking – at that damage. It ain’t easy, but it’s ultimately healthier for me and anyone I interact with. It’s the only way to (try to) make sure I cause less harm moving forward. It’ll be far from perfect, but if I put it out into the ether, maybe I can do a little better each day. No promises – other than to try. I was taught the ho’oponopono, the traditional Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness, and it’s been immensely helpful: I’m sorry; please forgive me; thank you; and I love you.

5) Travel some. It doesn’t have to be far, and it doesn’t have to be for anything in particular. I dig seeing music elsewhere – so that’s always a good excuse to get out. I also like to stop in on a town’s local libraries. Side note: if you haven’t spent much time in our own,

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you should. Durango is fortunate to have a top-notch library. I’ve also heard Ignacio’s is great, and it’s less than 40 minutes away. Any reason to travel is a decent reason. I’d love to go on some grand excursion, but I gotta start small.

Realistic.

6) Dial my stereo. Pretty sure I have a short in my amp, and it’s annoying the shit out of me. But my trusty stereo guy is having (had?) a baby and is clearly predisposed with more important babyrelated things. Circuit Man, are you still around? Again, I’m putting it here as a reminder to self. There’s never an opportune time for a stereo to glitch out, and I’m getting genuinely pissed/worked up just writing about it. Sesh, if you have a free minute or two – get at me. If being a dad or pre-dad is taking all your time, no worries. Also, tall friends, I could use an extra set of hands with running some speaker wire. You can get at me too.

Please. And thanks.

There is a boatload more I could flesh out, but I’d hate to overstay my welcome. That said, putting words to things I’d like to see happen makes them tangible. It might help you, too. If you want, I’m happy to read your list of things to do in the upcoming whenever.

Send them my way if you’re so moved. I say it each month because I mean it: feel free to reach out with questions, comments and gripes. Especially the gripes. I love a good gripe; mine or yours.

KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu ■

EndoftheLine

Turning the X Games on its head Wanna make extreme sports more interesting? Call out the gray hairs

by Jim Duke

W

atching X Games always keeps me cringing in anticipation of the next serious wreck.

While everyone enjoys and appreciates extreme feats of strength and agility, it’s hard to watch healthy young people taking dangerous risks with someone inevitably sustaining serious, life-changing injuries. What’s so fun about that? As I get older, it becomes less and less entertaining to watch the youth of the world take such risks.

Ever since having witnessed a young woman snap her elbow backwards trying to ride a bull at the Carbondale rodeo a couple years ago, even this favorite activity has become difficult to watch. It’s probably sexist, but it was much more distressing to see that happen to a young girl than to a guy. At any rate, it’s not fun watching young folks of any gender get hurt.

But these kinds of sports are hard to criticize. At some point in our lives, we’ve all pursued dangerous activities to the extent of our limits and then some.

The problem with X Games is the age of the contestants. It would all make so much more sense and be more entertaining if we replaced all the kids with us old farts. I mean really, instead of cutting short or limiting the potential of someone so early in their life, it would make much more sense for us old guys and gals, with most of our lives behind us, to go down in glory!

Most of us haven’t planned and prepared very well for retirement anyway, so disastrous failures would not bear such grim consequences. It’s not a big deal to watch an old guy go splat. What do we have to lose?

Seriously! What’s the biggest problem on Earth? Too many people! And with recent success in curbing our population explosion, the largest demographic is too many old people. This should tell us that safety is way overrated. We need to start curbing safety measures and encouraging high-risk activities for old folks. No more seat belts, helmets or airbags after the age of 60.

From then on, we encourage cliff diving, bare-handed boar hunting, cave snorkeling and rattlesnake roundups.

My wife, Kathy, and I have always practiced the philosophy that if we partied hearty enough, ate plenty of bacon, eggs and Big Macs, and pursued high-risk activities, we wouldn’t live long enough to have to worry about limping off into the sunset. I rode my first bull on my 47th birthday. We used to fly our small aircraft throughout the mountains and all around Mexico in every kind of weather. We engaged in all sorts of extreme travel and activities, often far beyond our abilities and comfort levels. Yet here we are – eligible for Social Security and pretty much as healthy as ever.

Now what are we supposed to do?

Because Senior X Games aren’t likely to catch on, we’ve been thinking about starting an X Games theme

retirement community in Mexico that offers little in the way of health care, but specializes in the old pursuit of sex, drugs and rock and roll, as well as many other high-risk activities. Our motto would be ‘”Skip the rocking chair, skip the wheel chair, and jump on this crotch rocket.” We will promote lots of drinking, smoking, drugs and late-night carousing in dangerous neighborhoods. There will be no basket weaving, crochet or quilt sewing circles, but lots of opportunity for sky diving, fly suits, surfing off rocky shoals and swimming with alligators. While not necessarily trying to die, we will try to ensure that, if death is encountered, it will be glorious and be captured in totally awesome videos. It will no longer be only young, dumb rednecks spouting their famous last words of “hold my beer.”

And speaking of young, dumb folks, just as colonial villages used to support a town drunk to provide a bad example to discourage their youth from taking up the bottle, our pathetic efforts at being dare-devils might help dissuade future generations from pursuing such self-destructive antics. At least until they reach the age that it makes a little more sense to take bigger chances.

Taking this whole Senior X Games retirement concept a step further, our organization will not allow anyone to become cranky old folks. For some reason, it always seems to be old men, rather than old women, that tend to go to one extreme or the other. We seem to either become totally laid back and easy-going, or turn into completely unbearable assholes. That said, we will not be sexist in our approach to those that become bitchy, whiny or in any other way unpleasant to

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the company of others. If any such individuals manage to survive all our high-risk activities, and yet fail to appreciate and be happy with all the good videos to their credit, the remaining “retirees” will be able to vote them out.

Rather than throw them out into the cold, cruel reality of old age and merely imposing their unpleasant disposition on others, we will have a huge “going away” party during which they will be slipped a mickey of some sort. We will feature many of that person’s best, most death-defying videos while the rest of us go to extremes to make sure that they are happy when they check out.

To ensure a pleasant and productive hereafter, bodies will (by previous arrangement) either be composted and used to fertilize crops, landscapes, or ecosystems of choice, or be ground up for hog and chicken feed. This will also provide a reincarnation of sorts, at least on a physical level.

Sure, hang out and play with your grandchildren while it’s still fun for everyone, but let’s skip the years of having oatmeal drizzle wiped off our stubbly chins and being hugged by total strangers calling us grandpa. X Games are OK the way they are I suppose, but they could be a whole lot better for everyone if they attracted the appropriate age group. ■ Practicing what he preaches, Jim Duke, at age 70, recently adopted a 3-year-old wild mustang from the Mesa Verde herd and plans to be racing across the Utah deserts before the snow melts in the Colorado high country. Email him at: authorjimduke.com Jan. 25, 2024 n 11

StufftoDo

Thursday25

Scotch Tasting, 4 p.m., Purgys, Purgatory Resort

Live music by Leah Orlikowski, 5-8 p.m., El Rancho Tavern, 975 Main Ave. Bluegrass Jam, 6 p.m., Durango Beer & Ice, 3000 Main Ave. Live music by Tim Sullivan, 6-9 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Deadline for “Stuff to Do” submissions is Monday at noon. To submit an item, email: calendar@durangotelegraph.com

Live music by Rob Webster, 6-9 p.m., The Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave. Trivia Night, 6:30 p.m., Powerhouse Science Center, 1330 Camino del Rio Drag Trivia Night, 7:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Friday26

Free Friday Yoga, 8:30 a.m., Lively (a boutique), 809 Main Ave.

Live music by Gary B. Walker, Piano, 10:15 a.m. - 12noon, Jean-Pierre Bakery, 601 Main Ave. Fanny Pack Friday, 3 p.m., The Nugget Mountain Bar, 48721 North Hwy 550

Live music by Mike Testa, 6-9 p.m., The Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Snowdown Opening Ceremony, 1 p.m., Purgy’s Patio, Purgatory Resort

Friday Dance! 6 p.m. West Coast swing lesson; 7 p.m. dance-of-the-month lesson; 8-10 p.m. open dancing, VFW, durangodancing.com

Durango Food Not Bombs mutual aid and potluck, 2-4 p.m., Buckley Park

40th annual Snowdown Follies, 7 & 10 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. Mustache Roulette, 7 p.m., The Subterrain, 900 Main Ave., suite F

Durango Palestine Solidarity Coalition free Palestine rally and ceasefire in Gaza, 4 p.m., Buckley Park, 12th St. and Main Ave.

Saturday27

Sunday Funday, 6 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Biker Breakfast, 9-11 a.m., Durango HarleyDavidson, 750 S. Camino Del Rio Maker’s Market and Flea Market, 11a.m.-3 p.m., Channel 37, 1129 Narrow Gauge Ave.

Adam Swanson Ragtime, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Karaoke, 6 p.m., Durango Beer & Ice, 3000 Main.

Wine Sampling, 4-5 p.m., Paradise Pizzeria at Purgatory Resort

Community Yoga, 6-7 p.m., Yoga Durango, 1485 Florida Rd. Donations accepted

Heartwood Cohousing 4th Friday Tour and Potluck, 5 p.m., 800 Heartwood Lane, Bayfield

Live music Matt Rupnow, 6-9 p.m., The Office Spiritorium, 699 Main

Live music by Jack Ellis & Larry Carver, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Live music by Blue Moon Ramblers, 6-9 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Live music Ben Gibson, 6-9 p.m., The Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

SJMA Snow Science & Social, 1-3 p.m.,

Andrews Lake winter parking area, Hwy 550

Live music by High Altitude Blues, 6 p.m., Weminuche Woodfire Grill, Vallecito

Live music by Leah Orlikowski, 5-8 p.m., El Rancho Tavern, 975 Main Ave.

Chess Tournament, 2 p.m., The Subterrain, 900 Main Ave., Suite F

Aria PettyOne presents Aria’s Pizza Party, 8:30-9:30 p.m., Father’s Daughters Pizza, 640 Main.

Dry January Mocktail Tastings, 3 p.m., Durango Sustainable Goods, 1259 Main Ave.

Live Music by Warsaw, 5-7 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

Board Game Sundays, 2 p.m., Lola’s Place, 725 E. 2nd Ave.

40th annual Snowdown Follies, 7 p.m. & 10 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E 2nd Ave.

Monday29

Snowdown Search for The Silver Bullet, 6 a.m., clues released on 101.3 FM and KRSJ 100.5 FM Ukulele Jam, 5 p.m., Durango Coffee Co., 730 Main Ave. Happy Hour Yoga, 5:30 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

Adam Swanson Ragtime, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Jennifer Hill album release party, 7 p.m., The Subterrain, 900 Main Ave., Suite F Comedy Showcase, 7:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Silent Disco, 10 p.m.-12:30 a.m., 11th St. Station

Tuesday30

Sunday28 Backcountry Basics with VNTR Birds, 8:30 a.m. – 3 p.m., Purgatory Village Express Lift

Great Decisions International Affairs Discussion “Program Science Across Borders,” by Holly Vaughn, 11:45 a.m.-1:45 p.m., Durango Library.

Join us for Snowdown

Featuring 16 events 1135 Main Ave. • DGO, CO

12 n Jan. 25, 2024

telegraph

For more info, visit us on Facebook

AskRachel

Little bottles, massages and Joe wears panty hose Interesting fact: Taupe originally referred not to a wide range of dark gray-brown shades but to the specific color of the average French mole. Because (French accent) of course.

Dear Rachel, I’m wildly uncomfortable with the idea of giving massages to my romantic partner. I

keep thinking, this is something that people go through extensive training and get licensed and insured to do. Who am I to basically walk in off the street and give a good, never mind safe and trustworthy, massage?

We wouldn’t trust me to fix the pipes under the house or conduct psychotherapy. So why should I be so cavalier about giving therapeutic massages?

–Unlicensed to Rub Dear Unregulated Lover, Um. I might be wrong here – wouldn’t be the first time – but I think you just might, maybe, possibly be missing the point here. I find it unlikely that your amor is looking for therapeutic bodywork. Let’s go with the plumbing comparison … you’re not being called upon to stop the leaks and conduct maintenance but just to make the pipes feel good and relaxed.

The pipes are making a bid for connection. Possibly CONNECTION connection. I recommend you listen.

–Lower, baby, Rachel Dear Rachel, Now that we are getting ready for the Super Bowl, I saw an old ad that had Joe Namath in panty hose. Just wondering, are they coming back? Joe said that they gave his legs a tightness when he was throwing the ball. I think they were the first stretch tights. Your thoughts on this, or do you want to pass?

–Football Joe

Dear Pigskin Jack, Where does my editor dig up these questions? I’m just going to recap the facts for the jury: You saw an old ad, AN OLD AD, with panty hose. Presumably, taupe panty hose. So, naturally, you wonder if panty hose are coming back now, in the present moment.

What the hell is this? I think I’m not going to pass.

I’m going to utilize my ground game, turn the other direction and run far, far, far away. I’m going to run like cheap … never mind.

–Your special teams specialist, Rachel

Cowboy Tuesdays, 12 noon, Strater Hotel/Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Live music by Donny Johnson, 6-9 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

“Transcending Time with Roseta Santiago,” opening reception, Feb. 2, 5-7 p.m., Blue Rain Gallery,

Community Yoga, 4:30-5:30 p.m., Yoga Durango, 1485 Florida Rd. Donations accepted

Open Mic, 6:30 p.m., EsoTerra Ciderworks, 558 Main.

Dear Rachel, When you go on vacation and stay in motels (if you do), do you save the soap, mouth wash, and conditioner and take them home, or do you leave them? Hey, how about the half bottles? I hope you use them and don’t sell them at a garage sale. I think you give them back so your rates don’t go up in the future at the motels.

–Soap Suds Dear Dope Duds, I really don’t garage sale all that often. Maybe, without explicitly knowing why, this is my reason.

Do people really sell half-used bottles of complimentary toiletries? Or do they, like, put several partials into a big bottle and pretend it’s new? Do the colors mix together into some vaguely nauseating taupe, or do they swirl like a sand painting? And, do they pluck the leg hairs off the soap before reselling, or is that part of the charm?

–Barf, Rachel

Slow Bluegrass Jam, 5:30-7:30 p.m., General Palmer Hotel, 567 Main Live music by Terry Rickard, 6-9 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Live music by Sean O’Brien, 6-9 p.m., The Office Spiritorium, 699 Main 40th annual Snowdown Follies Gala Night, 7 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E 2nd Ave. Open Mic, 7 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main.

Wednesday31

Restorative Yoga for Cancer, 9:30-10:45 a.m., Smiley Building, 1309 E. 3rd Ave. Info and register at cancersupportswco.org/calendar Yoga with In the Weeds, 10-11 a.m., The Hive, 1150 Main Ave., Ste. A Snowdown Fashion Do’s & Don’ts, 11 a.m., La Plata County Fairgrounds Exhibit Hall, 2500 Main Ave.

Trivia Night, 7 p.m., Bottom Shelf Brewery, 118 Mill St., Bayfield Geeks Who Drink Trivia, 8 p.m., The Roost, 128 E. College Dr. Karaoke Roulette, 8 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Ongoing

“Peace, Love and Snowdown,” 45th annual Snowdown Jan. 26 - Feb. 4, various events around town “The Return of the Force,” art exhibit exploring the influence of “Star Wars” on Native artists, FLC’s Center for Southwest Studies. Thru August 2024

Upcoming

Steely Dead, Thurs., Feb. 1, doors 7 p.m., Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive.

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

934 Main Ave.

Colorado Native Plant Society presents: “Wildflowers of Durango Trails,” Thurs., Feb. 8, 67:30 p.m., Center for Southwest Studies Lyceum Room, Fort Lewis College, and Zoom.

“Common Ground” screening and Q&A, Thurs., Feb 8, 6-8 p.m., Vallecito Room, Fort Lewis College.

Winter Bike to Work Day, Fri., Feb. 9, 7-9 a.m., Studio &, 1027 Main Ave. Josh Teed with Starfox & Teknique, Fri., Feb. 9, 7 p.m., Animas City Theatre, 128 E College Dr.

Deadline to submit items for “Stuff to Do” is Monday at noon.

E-mail your stuff to: calendar@durangotelegraph.com

Snowdown Light Parade, Fri., Feb. 2, 6 p.m., Main Ave., downtown Durango

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Jan. 25, 2024 n 13

FreeWillAstrology

by Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Aries author Dani Shapiro has published six novels, three bestselling memoirs and a host of magazine articles. She co-founded a writer’s conference, teaches at top universities and does a podcast. Here’s her secret to success: She feels that summoning courage is more important than being confident. Taking bold action is more crucial than self-assurance. I propose in the coming weeks, you apply her principles to your own ambitions.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Throughout history, there has never been a culture without religious, mythical and supernatural beliefs. The vast majority of the world’s people have believed in magic and divinity.

Does that mean it’s all true and real? Of course not.

But nor does it mean that none of it is true and real.

Ultra-rationalists who dismiss the spiritual life are possessed by hubris. Everything I’ve said here is prelude to my oracle for you: Some of the events in the next three weeks will be the result of magic and divinity. Your homework is to discern which are and which aren’t.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Several wise people have assured me that the pursuit of wealth, power, popularity and happiness isn’t as important as the quest for meaningfulness. If you feel your life story is interesting, rich and full of purpose, you are successful. This will be a featured theme for you in the coming months, Gemini. If you have ever fantasized about your destiny resembling an ancient myth, a revered fairy tale, a thousand-page novel or an epic film, you will get your wish.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “Life as we live it is unaccompanied by signposts,” wrote author Holly Hickler. I disagree with her assessment, especially towards your future. Although you may not encounter literal markers to guide you, you will encounter metaphorical signals that are clear and strong. Be alert for them. They might not match your expectations about signposts, so expand your concepts of how they might appear.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I wrote a book called “Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World is Conspiring to Shower you With Blessings.” Among its messages: There’s high value in cultivating an attitude that looks for the best in life and regards

14 n Jan. 25, 2024

problems as opportunities. When I was working on the book, no one needed to hear this more than me! Even now, I still have a long way to go before mastering what I call “crafty optimism.” I am still subject to dark thoughts and worried feelings – even though I know the majority of them are not based on truth. In other words, I am trying to learn the very themes I have been called to teach. What’s the equivalent in your life, Leo? Now is an excellent time to upgrade your skill at expressing abilities you wish everyone had.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In 1951, filmmaker Akira Kurosawa made a movie adapted from “The Idiot,” a novel by Fyodor Dostoevsky. Kurosawa was not yet as famous and influential as he would later become. That’s why he agreed to his studio’s demand to cut 99 minutes from his original 265-minute version. But this turned out to be a bad idea. Viewers had a hard time understanding the chopped-up story. Most of the critics’ reviews were negative. I bring this to your attention, Virgo, with two intentions: 1. To do minor editing on your labor of love. 2. Don’t agree to anything like the extensive revisions Kurosawa did.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I have selected a poem for you to tape on your refrigerator for the next eight weeks. It’s by 13th century Zen poet Wu–Men: “Ten thousand flowers in spring, the moon in autumn, / a cool breeze in summer, snow in winter. / If your mind isn’t clouded by unnecessary things, this is the best season of your life.” My wish for you, Libra – which is also my prediction for you – is that you will empty your mind of unnecessary things. More than ever, you will be acutely content to focus on the essentials that appeal to your wild heart and tender soul.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Psychologist Carl Jung wrote, “Motherlove is one of the most moving and unforgettable memories of our lives, the mysterious root of all growth and change; the love that means homecoming, shelter and the long silence from which everything begins and in which everything ends.” To place yourself in rapt alignment with cosmic rhythms, Scorpio, you will do whatever’s necessary to get a strong dose of what Jung described. If your own mother isn’t available or is insufficient for this immersion, find other maternal sources. Borrow a wise woman elder or immerse yourself in Goddess worship.

Bask in a nurturing glow that welcomes you and loves you exactly as you are – and makes you feel deeply at home.

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In a set of famous experiments, physiologist Ivan Pavlov taught dogs to have an automatic response to a particular stimulus. He rang a bell while providing the dogs with food they loved. After a while, the dogs began salivating with hunger simply when they heard the bell, even though no food was offered. Ever since, “Pavlov’s dogs” refers to how animals’ instinctual natures can be conditioned. What would have happened if Pavlov used cats instead of dogs? Would felines have submitted to such shenanigans? I doubt it. These ruminations are my way of urging you to be more like a cat than a dog in the coming weeks. Resist efforts to train you, tame you or manipulate you into compliance.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Before poet Louise Glück published her first book, “Firstborn,” it was rejected by 28 publishers. After it finally emerged, she suffered from writer’s block. Her next book didn’t appear until eight years later. Her third book arrived five years later, and her fourth required another five years. Slow going! But here’s the happy ending: By the time she died at age 80, she had published 21 books and won the Pulitzer and Nobel prizes for literature. You are now at a phase in your development comparable to the time after Glück’s fourth book: wellprimed, geared up and ready to make robust progress.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “All good writing is swimming under water and holding your breath,” wrote author F. Scott Fitzgerald. I’d like to expand that metaphor and apply it to you, Aquarius. I propose that your best thinking and decision-making in the coming weeks will be like swimming under water while holding your breath. What I mean is that you’ll get the best results by doing what feels unnatural. You will get yourself in the right mood if you bravely go down below the surface and into the depths and feel your way around.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In honor of this pivotal time in your life story, I offer four pronouncements. 1. You can now be released from a history that has repeated itself too often. To expedite this happy shift, indulge in a big cry and laugh about how boring that repeated history has become. 2. You can finish paying off your karmic debt to someone you hurt. How? Change yourself to ensure you won’t ever act that way again. 3. You can better forgive those who wounded you if you forgive yourself for being vulnerable to them. 4. Every time you divest yourself of an illusion, you will clearly see how others’ illusions have been affecting you.

classifieds

Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon. Ads are a bargain at 10 cents a character with a $5 minimum. Even better, ads can now be placed online: durangotelegraph.com Prepayment is required via cash, credit card or check.

(Sorry, no refunds or substitutions.)

Ads can be submitted via: n www.durangotelegraph.com n classifieds@durango telegraph.com n 970-259-0133 n 679 E. 2nd Ave., #E2 Approximate office hours: Mon-Wed: 9ish - 5ish

Announcements Coco?

Quesadilla, Italian, birthday bathroom.

Rats Leave a Sinking Ship Bye-bye Durango, going to CD4. Need a life jacket.

mounts, battery, tethers, protective back cover, USB cable and lens cleaning cloth. $50. J.marie.pace@gmail.com

body connection for 17 years. Now Receiving new clients. Melanie Higbee LMT, 970.238.0422

Reruns Home Furnishings Brighten up your space. Lots of new inventory including household side and sofa tables, nightstands, bookcases, cool art, etc. Looking to consign smaller furniture pieces. 572 E. 6th Ave. Open Mon.Sat. 385-7336.

Massage by Meg Bush LMT, 30, 60 & 90 min., 970-759-0199.

Services Construction Solutions All trades all services home business new repair remodel 970-317-9280

Friday 6pm Dancing Lesson at VFW Go to DurangoDancing.com to get on notification list.

KDUR is Celebrating 50 years of broadcasting in 2025 and staff is on the hunt for past DJs. If you did a show and have a fond memory, story or some recorded material, email station manager Bryant Liggett, Liggett_b@fortlewis.edu or call 970.247.7261

Wanted Cash for Vehicles, Copper, Alum Etc. at RJ Metal Recycle. Also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970259-3494.

House Painting and Cleaning Maddie Paints LLC provides detail oriented house painting and pre-occupational cleaning services. Winter discounts available for interior paint jobs and some cleaning jobs. Free phone call and site visit. www.maddie-paints.com email: info@maddie-paints.com phone: (970) 946-9822

ForRent

Harmony Cleaning and Organizing Residential, offices, commercial and vacation rentals, 970-403-6192.

Small Office for Rent Downtown Office is 8 x 10 sq. ft. located at 755 E. 2nd Ave. Rent is $209/mo. Available by Feb. 15th or March 1st. For more info. please call 970-703-8458.

Lowest Prices on Storage!

Inside/outside storage near Durango and Bayfield. 10-x-20, $130. Outside spots: $65, with discounts available. RJ Mini Storage. 970-259-3494.

ForSale

BodyWork

TaoTronics 4k Action Camera New and in the box. Comes with: waterproof housing, handlebar/pole mount,

Compassionate, Informed myofascial massage and structural integration, offering well-being and mind-

Lotus Path Healing Arts Now accepting new clients. Offering a unique, intuitive fusion of Esalen massage, deep tissue & Acutonics, 24 years of experience. To schedule call Kathryn, 970-201-3373.

CommunityService Bring the World to Your Home ASSE International Student Exchange Programs (ASSE), a nonprofit organization, is inviting local families to host a foreign exchange student. ASSE students come from more than 50 countries worldwide; are between the ages of 15-18; and are enthusiastic to experience American culture. Host families may be single parents, couples and single persons. The students have money for personal expenses and are selected based upon academics and personality, and host families choose their student. If interested, call Elena at 1-800-733-2773, visit www.asse.com or send an email to asseusawest@asse.com

telegraph

HaikuMovieReview ‘Role Play’ If only this film could have pretended to be less predictable – Lainie Maxson

Volunteers Needed Do you want to make a difference in your community and the lives of others?

Alternative Horizons is always in need of volunteers to staff our hotline. AH has been supporting and empowering survivors of domestic violence since 1978.

Training and ongoing support provided.

Next training April 19, 20 and 26. For more info., call 970-247-4374 or visit alternativehorizons.org/ The Maker Lab in Bodo Park Community-led nonprofit provides collaborative workspace, tools, learning opportunities and equipment featuring metal and woodworking, laser cutting, 3D printing, electronics and sewing.

Classes for all levels. To join or learn more, go to www.themakerlab.org or email info@themakerlab.org

“I saw it in the Telegraph.”

Read by thousands of discerning eyeballs every week. (*And a few that just look at the pictures.)

For more info. on how to get your business or event seen, email: telegraph@durangotelegraph.com Jan. 25, 2024 n 15

(Advertise in the Telegraph.)

To learn more about our golden advertising opportunties, email: telegraph@durangotelegraph.com or call 970-259-0133

16 n Jan. 25, 2024

telegraph