Couples and Money: Having 'The Talk'

to talk about money, so don’t stress about feeling awkward, it’s completely normal. Communication is key in any relationship and the money topic is one which should NEVER be off limits. With the talk, it makes sense to bring a list with all the inflow and outflow you have both as a household and as individuals. The accomplishes two things — it gives you a basis to discuss and eliminates putting off the talk due to unknowns (i.e. “I THINK I take home about $780 every two weeks). With the list, you know how much your checks are and how much your average monthly bills are.

Before you start plowing through the bills and how to divvy them up, brainstorm about your goals and how you individually approach money. Knowing right at the start of the talk whether or not you have similar approaches or are polar opposites will help set up a more constructive dialogue. Are you a saver and your significant other is a spender? Are you both a bit scatterbrained and tend to pay your bills late? Having an idea of what each other’s strengths and weaknesses are with money can make the talk go a little smoother and suggest natural “roles” for each of you to fill. This might also indicate whether a joint account, separate accounts, or a “yours, mine, and ours” accounts are the best fit for your patterns.

When it comes to goals, be honest and realistic. Do you have a goal as a couple to have a down payment for a home? Do you want to have a trust fund for future grandkids? Whatever your goals are individually and as a pair, write them down and make them a part of your game plan to achieve.

A note about the money talk: If you find one or both of you getting judgmental or defensive — STOP. This is where you need to re-center the conversation that money is just a tool and ultimately the pair of you want to be successful using that tool to achieve goals and avoid relationship friction.

Once you know how much is coming into the household and flowing out, have an idea of each other’s approach to money, and have your goals laid out, it’s time to get to work. Figure out what works best for you as a couple — splitting the bills 50/50 might not work if someone out earns the other by a large margin or has several more personal debts than the other. Make a realistic plan for who is responsible for what. Make sure you make room for achieving goals and “assign” responsibilities for maximizing ones’ strengths or areas of oversight.

Put your plan into motion. As ever, the best budget is the one you stick to. If you find there are things you planned as a couple which don’t work, modify them.

Building up a good base for a financial future with your significant other does require a bit of work and, in many cases, compromises. But, smoothing out the road to avoid future friction is a worthwhile endeavor! D

By Samantha Roffers

Helloeveryone and a very warm welcome! My name is Samantha Rof fers, I am 28 years old and I was born and raised in this beautiful tundra we call The Northland. I am a wife, mother, animal lover, barrel racer and hospital receptionist. I live on an 11-acre hobby farm in Moose Lake, Minn., with my hus band Will, our two children Henry (8) and Riley June (2), three horses (Jay, Spin and Willa), a pony (Scout), three dogs (Bella, Roper and Moto), 13 chickens and two roosters. My husband and I stay very busy caring for all our animals (although I think there are always room for more).

Along with our little farm my husband and I work full time in town and try to keep up with our kids, who are growing up entirely too fast. Through the spring, summer and fall most of our free time is dedicated to traveling the Midwest for barrel races and rodeos. Horses are a great passion in life (my family would probably call it an obsession) and competing with them is an indescribable adrenaline rush. When I’m not on the back of a horse or chasing my kids around I enjoy taking pictures, traveling and cooking new recipes.

I draw a lot of inspiration for my fashion choices through the western lifestyle. I love bold prints, leather, fringe, denim and items that are functional as well as fashionable. I believe turquoise jewelry and red lipstick can be the best accessory to any outfit. I truly think fashion should always be fun, it’s a great way to express yourself and connect with people around you. Your outfit can be an awesome conversation starter by wearing pieces with personal meaning. I love clothes and accessories that can go from the farm to an office setting without too much hassle. I really enjoy digging through the clearance racks as well, you can find a timeless piece of

by Sam

clothing for a fraction of the full price if you know what to look for.

It’s so important to shop for things you love and feel comfortable in. Everyone’s style is unique and that’s what makes it so special. When we are young, we spend a lot of our time trying to blend in, but we soon realize the real beauty is being true to ourselves, even if it makes us stand out in a crowd. There are so many great places to shop in the Northland that offer stylish clothing without sacrificing comfort, fashion or durability. It’s important that the clothes we wear up here can keep up with the ever-changing Minnesota seasons.

I am very excited to be doing this piece with The Woman Today, and I sincerely look forward to sharing fun and fashionable ideas with you all. D