Black Girlhood Transition

BLACK GIRLHOOD TRANSITION

BLACK GIRLHOOD TRANSITION

ARIAH RICHARDS

For Black girls being forced to become women.

Chapter 1: In Our Experience

Black Girls Look the Same

I walk into class you confuse me for Alexis

She’s taller, her hair in twist, voice lower than mine, But to you i am Alexis

You say Jordan while looking into my eyes when I raise my hand

She wears glasses, has light brown eyes, and is across the room

However now i am Jordan

When class ends, I head to the door, I hear from behind, “Goodbye Ariah”

Now you know my name

After mistaking me because all Black girls look the same

How do I know if you finally know me for me

or if you just ran out of other Black names to call me

My name is Ariah

A-R-I-A-H

Like Mariah without the M

I am not Alexis or Jordan

I am me

Please see me

With my friends

Today momma let me walk home from school with my friends

I usually ride the bus, but my friends are on different routes. The walk felt so peaceful

Walking along side my girls who always support me

To them I never have to explain myself, they just get it.

We all died laughing after I tripped on air and almost fell in the ditch.

The 2 seconds of concern was quickly overcome by making fun of my clumsiness,

It was all fun and games until the sky decided to open up. My friends and I became track stars until we reached the gazebo in the neighborhood park;

We decided that it would be better to get in trouble for being late than for messing up our hair.

15 minute turned into 2 hour of us watching the rain fall off the edge, listening to new music, arguing about what artist looks better, ranting about what our teacher or classmates said to us, free to be ourselves.

The lecture when I got home about the kidnappers and the crazy men, went over my head

Today was a good day with my friends.

My Best Day

Is it sad to say that my Best Day was the day I got my hair in silk press for the first time?

I felt so beautiful for that week or so.

I wanted to perm my hair so bad after that Mom wouldn't let me.

It also could also been the day that this boy I had a crush on, Rasheed, sat next to me in the auditorium on the first day of school. I remember exactly what I was wearing: some jean shorts and this flowy white top with pink and purple accents.

I wonder where Rasheed is now.

Or maybe it was the end of my 8th grade year.

I finally felt like I was well liked by the kids in my classes; I could crack jokes during class time that people would actually laugh at.

I was just like everyone else.

Red Underwear Stains

I wish the red underwear stains were the worst part, but they can be covered up with a jacket around the waist. Whether it comes early or late once it starts it does not stop. It's like a hurricane that brings in many waves of emotions, body changes, and societal expectations.

People see you differently even though you feel the same because it all happens so fast.

Bullies will say things to bring you down, loneliness creeps in and you want to run, hide and isolate, but don’t.

Look to the left and right, they are going through it too;

If they are not they still have similar feelings because they feel different.

It is okay to feel different. We all experience things on our own timeline, and that's the beauty of life

Leave shame and self loathing in the trash can like a used pad; they no longer have a purpose in your life.

Chapter 2: The Feelings

I am

I am…

Present but not seen

Heard but not understood

Alive but not living

Worthy but not enough

Appreciated but not respect

Available but not accepted

Ghosted but not forgotten

Liked but not desired

Loved but with conditions

Smart kid

I don’t feel like –the prettiest, most liked, or fun-to-be-around but I know I'm a smart kid

On the day of the school's Pi Day Memorization Contests, I was ready

Here I could show off my expertise and competing was so much fun

The stage, the lights, the cafeteria/auditorium full of my fellow classmates

(isn't it strange how the cafeteria and the auditorium are the same place)

It is my time to shine.

At this moment, I feel the love of my school community.

Internet Says

Internet says

Kiss childhood things goodbye

Switch from Disney channel to TGIF and watch Scandal

No more running around with the boys let them chase you online

Internet says

Cover your acne with pounds of makeup

Use a lighter shade to cover up your dark skin

You are lucky for your big lips because that’s in

Internet says

Wear tight clothes to show off your new boobs

Put yourself out there like a doll for play

Boys take what they can see

Internet says

Your becoming a woman so act like it

You are a woman

A woman?

Season Reason, and Forever

Some friends are for a season

Some friends are for a reason

Some friends are forever

Some friends are for a season

I thought my elementary school friends would be my middle school friends

I was wrong

I watched them flourish

And I became the outcast

This lead me to anxiety which made it even harder to be social

But my season with those friends was over

Some friends are for a reason

The next person I got close to taught me many things

Confidence, planning, exercise, living free, saving money and how to eat with chopsticks

Her life was on a different path than mine

But the lessons I learned were more invaluable than time

Some friends are forever

After Not having a consistent friend group and changing best friend like 5 times

I was worried I would never find a forever friend

When I stopped searching and stopped changing myself to fit who was around

I found my forever friends

Chapter 3: How to Make It

how to make it sing, dance, run do what makes you happy read a book, write a story, paint a picture get your feelings out

wear your favorite purple patent leather boots and walk with confidence maintain a small but supportive group of friends and don't let darkness consume you

its okay to laugh, its okay to cry, its okay to be confused you are going through a lot keep going, one step at a time, raise your head up high walk on the foundation your ancestors left behind

YOU

Don’t grow up so fast

You have time

Ignore what they say

Trust those who know YOU

It’s okay to cry

Change is scary

I know it hurts

YOU can do this

Delete the apps

Block toxic people

Set boundaries

Do what’s best for YOU

Hold tight to friends

Lean on family

Look beyond this world

YOU are not alone

To our middle school selfs

You’re not weird. You aren’t boring. You’re loveable.

Don’t be so nervous to be who you are, Or to try to find who you are.

Stop following around these white girls. You are beautiful and unique exactly the way you are, So why are you trying to be something different?

If you want something better for yourself, Go after It!!

It's okay to be a kid. I know you want to be an adult: live on your own, drive your own car, But enjoy the moment.

The future will come whether you think about it or not. Stop stressing. Breath. Live Carefree.

Don’t worry what others think of you

Don't be self conscious of everything you do

Be patient with yourself. You are beautiful, even if you don't see it just yet.

Thanks

Thanks Friends for being there for me at school when I wanted to burn it down.

Thanks Teach for taking time to explain things to me like the young adult I am.

Thanks Coach for keeping it real and not sugar coating your advice.

Thanks Cuz for hearing out my insecurities and offering your best advice.

Thanks Sis for reminding me not to stoop to their level because we’re better than that.

Thanks Dad for being a real man, so I was never too distracted by boys.

Thanks Mom for all your forms of advice: prayer, affirmations, tough love, or just a hug.

Acknowledgements

Acknowledgements

This book would not have been possible without Anissa, Asha, Jordan, Joy, and other young Black women who were willing to share there experiences with me. These poems are a collection of their world about the transitions from Black girlhood to Black womanhood.

This project was inspired by Black Decolonial Femisinst text including The Combahee River Collective, Speaking in Tongues by Gloria Anzaldua, Rachel Cargel Insist Rest is the Real Revolution for Black Women by Olivia Fleming, The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedoand A Global History of Black Girlhood by Courtney Field and Lakisha Michelle Simmons. Black Decolonial Feminist believe that Black women are invaluable but often under appreciated by society due to oppression based on sex, race, and gender. In order to combat theses inequities colonial systems must be dismantled through activism, politics, and the unapologetic existence of Black feminist. Black feminist are not a mutually exclusive group and have members of all genders, sexual preference, nations, and ages.

To build up strong Decolonial feminist communities, we must educate in uplift, black girls, while validating their experiences. So many of them feel alone, misunderstood, and distant from other people in their communities. Many factors contribute to these feelings, most notably systemic racism and sexism. These are very broad issues that young girls find hard to grasp, understand and feel like they can make a difference in so we have to start on an individual level.

The Combahee River Collective recognized how important it was for women to talk to each other about these things so that they would not feel alone; therefore, the spaces and narratives need to be created for young girls so that they can feel the therapeutic effects. Black girls, when exposed to material that validates, their experiences will feel heard, and therefore more open to learning about decolonial feminism while preparing them for how society sees them.

There is a gap in knowledge about Black girlhood and what Black girls think. A lot of epistemologies focus on Black women, but so many of the struggles and traumas of black women are tied to what they experienced in their black girlhood. There is not enough written about black girls and for black girls. They need these stories to know how to handle what they are going through and know to be more confident, despite what is happening to them. This was an issue mentioned by Courtney Field and Lakisha Michelle Simmons, “The history of Black girlhood is a subfield within Black girls’ studies that employs a methodology rooted in archival research. Looking for Black girls in the past is difficult because we must turn to documents never meant to understand or preserve their truths” (Field and Simmons 18). Their collection of black girl epistemologies is a unique piece just by existing. Although the stories come from different girls with different experiences, there are similarities in the fact that they all want to love and be loved, and are struggling to figure out how to love themselves.

I hope these poems give Black girls hope. The topics discussed are hard to talk about, so let this be a way to open up conversations. Most importantly I want Black girls to know that they are so much more than their circumstance. You are special, beautiful, and loved.