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October 31, 2013

Island Moon

Howl-O-Ween

Halloween in Port A

A 11

By Riley P. Dog To Riley for his come-from-behind win in the costume contest last Saturday night. His clever costume not only concealed the girth that some stoopid humans find problematic, it dazzled with the lights. The best feature, however, was how it repurposed his natural canine exhaust fumes. We can hardly wait to read his column about the experience.

While I was at the Back Porch a bird landed on my head. My humans said he was a dove and he just flew right in and started landing on human’s heads and then he landed on me. Some birds is crazy. Stoopid birds!

Tom Cullinan

Well you got that right Tom . Come He was a friendly guy so from behind indeed. As soon as the some humans took him to weather cooled off my humans strapped The Bird Lady look after him until he could some contraption to my back. This time learn to fly better and he was even worse than last year because this time what was coming from my behind was better learn to stay away from dogs too because some of them would try to eat him. If he landed smoke. Smoke coming out of my buttocks…. on the back of a coyote he would get ate. But I didn’t mind. I like birds just fine. Even if they land on my head. And then I heard a monkey bit a guy. I never got monkey bit but it happens around here sometimes. This time the monkey was hanging out at the Tropic Isles Trailer Park. How did a monkey get a trailer!? Stoopid monkeys! But it wasn’t a Moon Monkey. I’m the only Moon Monkey that bites and I’m not a real

Yeah, that’s smoke... That’s right, they put some cans on my buttocks and they shot smoke out and I fanned it with Expires 12/31/13 Expires 12/31/13 Expires 12/31/13 my tail. I don’t know why they do this. Stoopid Expires 12/31/13 humans.

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Ronnie & the Bird monkey. I’m a dog. The monkey took it on the lam and is still missing. Run my little monkey friend. Run! Stay up in the trees where the humans can’t go. I’ll be on the ground with smoke coming out of my buttocks wishing I was up there with you..

If you humans ever wonder why we dogs get nervous when the cool weather comes just look at the pictures of those poor dogs.

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On the bright side I didn’t have to wear goggles or a pink tutu like some of those little yappy dogs. And I got me a nice new bed for shooting smoke out of my buttocks at the Back Porch. about Why didn’t they just Something having smoke shoot shoot me... out of my buttocks seems to entertain humans. I don’t know why. Stoopid humans!

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Not only did I have smoke I had lights all over me. We went over to Dr. Christi’s and a bunch of dogs were there and there was a guy in a hat playing a guitar with two necks on it. I don’t know why he needed two necks but I think it might be because T-Joe & The Bird he plays that thing twice as good as (Also a great name my human plays his and it only has for a morning radio show) one neck so maybe that’s why.

This is National Take Your Dog to the Beach Week. Or at least it ought to be so take your dog to the beach and give him a hotdog. But whatever you do don’t make smoke shoot out of his buttocks. That’s really not good for anybody… And somebody send me a hotdog to The Save Riley P. Foundation; International Falls, Minnesota. Put it in a box that says Trick or Treat. Thank you.


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