EXT. BRAD’S HOUSE-DAY BRAD and JOE are packing up their large SUV full of fishing supplies in the driveway of Brad’s home. BRAD We best get this show on the road. JOE Yeah, I don’t want to hit rush hour. BRAD No, I just want to get out of here before the wife gets home. JOE (laughing loudly) I totally understand, say no more. I love fishing, but I love getting away from the old lady for a weekend even more. BRAD Cant live with em cant live without em. But sometimes I would mind giving it a shot. A BMW sports car pulls up along side the house and an older looking man, STEVEN, steps out of the car. STEVEN Well better late then never, huh guys? BRAD No, your just on time. Here Steven meet my old friend Joe, Joe this is my brother-in-law Steven. JOE Not too old now right. Heard a lot about ya, big fan of your movies. STEVEN I Appreciate it, I’m always happy to meet a fan especially after my last summers bomb at the box office. BRAD Well if you guys don’t mind lets get Steven’s stuff in the car and hit the road while we got daylight left. JOE Lets do this.
INT. BRAD’S SUV-EVENING
The three guys are driving through winding mountainous roads talking and listening to music. STEVEN So Joe if you don’t mind me asking, what do you do to make a living? JOE Well, it ain’t as important as Hollywood business but I’m a plumber, someone has to do the dirty work. STEVEN Any way, so how’s the town where we are gonna catch the big fish tonight. BRAD Well actually there isn’t a whole lot going on in the little town of Twin Peaks, we actually just stick to our little cabin, the fishing hole, and the outhouse. JOE The only person we have actually met from this little hick town is the mountain ranger. BRAD She will most likely come on out and make some small talk with us, Twin Peaks doesn’t get many visitors. STEVEN well as long as the fish are biting I could care less about the town, I actually kind of like the idea of getting away for a while. JOE I bet you would, I bet you have people always pitching ideas for new movies to you and bugging the hell out of you. STEVEN You have no idea. 3
INT. BRAD’S SUV-EVENING The SUV drives through the town and park alongside the ranger’s truck to start a conversation with the RANGER. BRAD How you doing, we came back for another year. RANGER It’s that time of year again, huh. Did you come to feed the fish or actually catch something this year?
JOE Hey give us some credit, I still have some Walleye in my freezer from last year. RANGER I see you brought a friend along with you this year. BRAD This is my brother-in-law Steven, hey is a big time Hollywood director. RANGER Well maybe you can find some inspiration in Twin Peaks for a new flick. STEVEN (under his breath) You never know. RANGER Alright, you guys take care. Enjoy the lake. The three men drive off through the town and towards their cabin. 4
INT. LOG CABIN-NIGHT
The group sets up their things in a very rustic and old log cabin right alongside a frozen river and a large dense forest. BRAD Alright guys, I drilled the hole in the ice so it’s all ready for some fishing first thing in the morning. It’s a little big but we’re going to need it for the big one’s we catch. (Takes a deep breath) I love the smell of an old wooden cabin. STEVEN What the hell are you talking about... you’re a city boy. JOE I’m the only one here who can really handle the outdoors. We all know Hollywood’s going to be struggling this weekend. STEVEN Whoa, coming out strong. the end of this weekend.
We’ll see who survives by
BRAD (Opening bottle) All that matters is we’re finally here for a relaxing weekend. Who wants a drink?
JOE Make me a strong one. Neat. STEVEN What year are we drinking? JOE The city liquor’s best, that’s what we are drinking. STEVEN Yeah, yeah, make mine strong too, on the rocks. BRAD I’m glad to see we’re all going to be getting along here... Brad hands out the bottles. JOE Oh he knows I’m just yanking his chain. STEVEN Do I? JOE Don’t be so sensitive big shot. STEVEN Ha, I could care less. I’m getting picked on by an average Joe, literally. BRAD (laughing) Don’t give him too much credit, average is saying a lot. JOE Keep feeding me this whiskey and talking all this shit and I’ll be fishing for both of you this weekend. The three men start laughing and they clink their glasses together. BRAD Although this whiskey’s keeping me warm for now I say we go out and get some firewood before we get a little to drunk. JOE Yeah lets each go out and grab as much firewood as we can and meet back here in about 20. The men exit the cabin to go out and get firewood. The door closes behind them. 5
EXT. OUTSIDE CABIN-NIGHT
The men go outside and walk into the woods. Brad does not go into the woods with the men; he instead walks towards the ice covered lake next to the cabin. His flashlight shines over the ice and he sees something underneath the ice along the shore. BRAD What the...? Brad examines the object frozen within the ice and realizes that it is a human body, laying still and lifeless. Brad kneels down to get a better look at the body and jumps up in hysteria. BRAD Hey guys! Come over here... hurry!!! Steven and Joe run over to Brad and drop their firewood on the ground. STEVEN What’s going on? Are you alright? BRAD Look, there’s a body under the ice! JOE What, are you sure? BRAD Yes! Look, right there. JOE Oh my god, you’re right. STEVEN Holy shit, what should we do? BRAD Call the ranger! JOE Wait, first of all, how did he get down there? BRAD I don’t know! I just found him there, he’s probably been down there for days. STEVEN (pointing his flashlight on ice fishing hole) The only way he could have got underneath there is through that hole. BRAD Impossible, I just drilled that earlier tonight. No more than an hour ago...
JOE (sarcastically) So did you throw him down there? BRAD Joe, this is no time to be an asshole, I just found a deadSTEVEN Calm down Brad it’s alright. I think we should call the ranger. JOE No, no I don’t think that’s a good idea. Nobody in this town knows us and they will just accuse us and say it was our fault because it was our hole. STEVEN What else are we supposed to do, just leave him there? JOE You want your name all over the news for being a murder suspect, big shot? STEVEN Ok, well then what do you suggest we do? BRAD Guys shut up! Let’s just get him out, I’ll grab my ice drill. JOE First smart idea I’ve heard. We will get him out and dispose of the body. STEVEN Great now we’re really getting our hands dirty. JOE No other choice, the townspeople will tear us apart. These hicks all know one another; this is probably half the town’s grandpa under this ice. STEVEN Jesus Joe, do you have any respect? JOE Hey, I’m just looking out for us right now. BRAD (nervously) Steven, we just need to get this guy out! STEVEN Ok, Ok, go get your drill.
JOE Good you’ve come to your senses. STEVEN Something’s not right about this... Joe We cant take a chance, this is clearly just an accident but all these people are kin or close to it and could easily pin us just out of spite. Say that we were negligent and shit, shouldn’t you know about all that legal stuff
Brad gets his ice drill and the three men retrieve the dead guy out from under the ice. JOE Alright, let’s take the body into the woods, grab a shovel. STEVEN I’ll go get it. BRAD I can’t handle this man, where the hell did this guy come from? JOE Calm down, you didn’t do anything. We just can’t report this; nobody in this town will ever believe that we just found a dead guy under the ice, and didn’t hear anything and help him. BRAD I understand that but something just isn’t right about this. Steven returns with two shovels and the men drag the body into the woods to bury it. 6
INT. BRAD’S SUV-DAY
The three men are driving back into town to get bait for their first day of fishing. BRAD I don’t even know why we’re going into town. We should just get out of here and go home. JOE We can’t just run out of here man, that would make us look like we’re guilty.
STEVEN I agree, we have to stick it out for the weekend and play it cool. BRAD I feel like I’m going to be sick. STEVEN How long do you think that guy was dead for? JOE I don’t know, I don’t understand how he could have gotten down there, unless he fell through the hole that Brad drilled. STEVEN Huh, yeah How odd. I didn’t even think anyone lived near our area. BRAD That’s because nobody does. The men pull up to a bait shop in the center of town and get out. They walk into the shop, as they are walking in a lady is exiting and glaring at them suspiciously. BRAD (whispering) Did you see how that lady looked at us? JOE Shut it, the more you worry the more suspicious we’ll seem. STEVEN Let’s just get the bait and get out of here guys. STORE CLERC #1 So, you hear Mr. Jenkins has been missing? STORE CLERC #2 Yeah, his family said he just disappeared last night and didn’t come back this morning. STORE CLERC #1 Something weird going on, that’s not like Mr. Jenkins. BRAD (whispering) Holy shit, you hear that? We need to get out of here. JOE I’m actually with you on this, let’s go. STEVEN We should at least buy some bait so we’re not-
BRAD No screw the bait, lets go. The men exit the bait shop in a hurry and get back in their car. They drive back to the cabin to regroup and assess the situation. 7
INT. LOG CABIN - EVENING
The three men are sitting by the fireplace drinking their scotch. JOE That’s the last of the logs. BRAD I feel filthy, I can’t take being here any longer. We could just get the hell out of here, yeah the ranger knows us but has no idea where were from or even our last names. JOE Guilty people run. No one suspects us, for all they know this old geezer is sleeping it off somewhere. BRAD You saw how that old woman looked at us at the shop. You saw didn’t you Steven? STEVEN Look you drilled that hole not 12 hours ago, people in this town are not gonna start pointing fingers and accusing us of being murders after half a day. JOE exactly. STEVEN If we had just told the ranger last night that this old asshole fell into a hole and drown we wouldn’t be freaking out about people accusing us of being murders. JOE What’s done is done now. What are we gonna tell the ranger if she comes out this way asking questions. STEVEN simple. we don’t know anything. BRAD I don’t even... A knock comes from the door.
BRAD o shit. JOE Brad just keep your mouth shut and don’t say a word. let me handle this, and wipe that look off your face for two fucking seconds. Steven answers the door. RANGER Mr. Hollywood, may I come in? STEVEN Please, come right in. RANGER So... did you catch the big one yet? STEVEN Well, not just yet. RANGER You haven’t been fishing, how come? You city boys came all this way just to sit in an old cold cabin? JOE We were just about to go out and get supplies actually. A bit of a late start. RANGER I see. Well the reason I stopped by gentlemen is because a local, Mr. Jenkins the owner of the gas station just before the interstate, never came back last night. STEVEN You check the Bar? RANGER If you knew this man you would know that’s the last place he would be. His wife said he liked to go for walks at night in this area, which brings me out here to speak with you all this morning. JOE We haven’t seen anybody out here. STEVEN Yeah not a peep all night. RANGER How about you, Brad, did you hear anything last night?
JOE No, he didn’t hear anything also. BRAD Yeah, nothing. STEVEN Is there anything else we can do to help? RANGER Just let me know if he turns up later today. Sorry to interrupt your fishing, hope you catch the big one today. STEVEN We’ll let you know! RANGER You all know where to find me. JOE Hope you find him sooner than later. RANGER We all do. The Ranger walks out and gets into her car and drives away. JOE Okay... she’s convinced. STEVEN Yeah but this is pretty bad. If they find Jenkins they’ll come right back to us. JOE No one is going to just happen to come across a man buried underground, I thought you might have more sense than that. STEVEN Those tracking dogs could smell him under the dirt if they got close enough. JOE That is not going happen. BRAD Or if any part of our story is changed then we’re up shit creek without a paddle with Ranger Babe. JOE Okay it won’t be hard to stick to a story where we know nothing. Hold your horses Brad, You’re being a real coward.
BRAD What a mess you got us in. JOE I got us in, he would have never fell in if you didn’t make such a big god damn hole in the first place. BRAD How dare you blame that mans death on me. JOE Hey I’m going to go find some more firewood outside. Maybe I’ll take a visit to Jenkins to see if he’s still six feet under. BRAD Are you serious Joe? A man has died and we are soon to be the prime suspects when they find a trace of us on his body. Stay away from him, and stop being so morbid. STEVEN Brad is right. Don’t even get close to that lake. Joe exits STEVEN Let’s just kick back and finish this bottle of whiskey for the night, not one thing we can do. BRAD Yeah alright. Let’s just lay low for a bit. STEVEN This will all be over the second we leave town, but if we leave early how would that look. BRAD Like we had something to do with it, like we did. STEVEN The only thing we had to do with it was happen to drill a large hole in the ice, and some old bastard picked a really bad path to walk at night. BRAD What the hell was he doing walking on the ice anyway, why would he do that. STEVEN Who knows, he could have been taking a shortcut. BRAD There is no good reason for him to have been walking
out on the ice in the middle of a lake at that time of night. STEVEN Look it coBRAD It just doesn’t add up ok, and it wasn’t my fault! STEVEN We werenBRAD I don’t ever want to hear either of you say that it was in anyway my fault!
EXT. Front of Cabin - Day
Brad, Joe, and Steven are getting into their car when Brad notices the Ranger’s truck just up the road. BRAD She is back she knows, why would she be back already unless she suspects us! JOE Brad stop looking right at the truck your going to make us look guilty. She is most likely here to check up on us and see if we saw him. STEVEN I don’t like this. JOE Not you too now, look this town is about the size of a parking lot what else does she have to do but come around and check. everything is fine, here let me talk to her. BRAD She knows. JOE enough, everybody follow me and put a fucking smile on your face, we are on vacation here remember. BRAD why else would she beJOE Look, if she was here to take us in she wouldn’t be
here alone there would be cop cars all over the place and helicopters and shit. BRAD I thJOE The only thing that is going to get us caught is you looking like you saw a ghost, chill the fuck out before you screw this all up just because you have no sense and no dick. STEVEN lets see what she wants, just start walking. Brad stop looking right at the truck. The group approaches the Ranger’s truck and notice that the Ranger is inside the truck dead with multiple lacerations on her face and neck. BRAD Jesus Christ! JOE How on earth? BRAD This isn’t happening STEVEN My god, how could this have happened? BRAD We have to get someone right now. JOE Wait, we need to think about the implications of reporting a dead officer outside our cabin in the middle of no where. BRAD No, your not going to weasel out of this I mean this is a murder, we have to get help and right now, no more games. STEVEN We can’t hide this, this is a murder not an accident. JOE Brad keep your head on your shoulders and stop jumping around like an idiot, you need to be calm. BRAD This lady is dead, cant you see that!
STEVEN Well right now I am more worried about who killed her, and if the psycho is still around. BRAD Jesus Christ! JOE Yeah, lets finish this inside or in the car on the way out of this town. BRAD We cant justJOE Start walking right now. STEVEN Right now, ok. JOE You will be the next dead idiot if you wait around, the person that killed her could be watching us right this second. BRAD Right, ok lets just go.
INT. CABIN â€“ NIGHT The three men frantically discuss their options. BRAD This is it we are seriously fucked now, we are going to get the book thrown at us for both those bodies. STEVEN No jury from this hick shit town will believe us for one second, there probably hasnâ€™t been a murder in this little shitty town in 40 years and now all of a sudden there are two since we have arrived. BRAD What about who ever killed the Ranger, that maniac could be listening to us right now waiting to kill us next. What do we do now Joe? JOE Why should I know what to do, do you? How about you Mr. Hollywood, all those millions you
have you think you would have something intelligent to say right now. We should just go and now. BRAD Right, we have to get out of here this second. Whatever we do we can’t just sit here waiting for who ever killed the others to kill us here like sitting ducks. STEVEN Didn’t you all say that the Ranger was the only one that knew you or where your from, well lets just get the hell out of here and leave this mess there is nothing we can do anyway, I mean she is dead. JOE the only thing that the locals could say is that there were a few city boys in a silver SUV here. That describes a few million people and we are over 7 hours away. STEVEN Its our only choice. BRAD And just leave her here. JOE We cant do anything anyway, its our only choice. BRAD I don’t like this but we cant stay here we have to at least get out of here right now. STEVEN Ok, great we can talk about the rest on the way. JOE great, lets just get out of here. Get everything packed up, Im going to start the car up. 10
EXT. OUTSIDE OF CABIN-NIGHT Brad and Steven become inpatient waiting for Joe, they call out for him and get no response. BRAD This isn’t fucking funny! STEVEN Joe, you better not be screwing around. BRAD Joe!
STEVEN I’m going to find him. BRAD Where is the van?! STEVEN Stay right here! BRAD No, don’t go! STEVEN Stay here. Steven runs off leaving Brad by himself. Brad stands there too afraid and shocked to follow. BRAD No, come back inside. 11
INT. INSIDE OF CABIN-NIGHT
Brad frantically paces around the cabin. After sometime Brad notices a large group of towns people outside the cabin. The townspeople bang on the windows and slam on the door shouting “murderer”. Brad crawls into the corner and pulls a pistol out of his duffel bag. 12
INT. LITTLE HUT-NIGHT
Steven, Joe, and the Ranger are sitting around several monitors that show the interior of the cabin and the surrounding area. Steven sits in his chair that says director. STEVEN What, Why didn’t you tell me that he had a gun. JOE I had no idea. The three of them run out of the hut towards the Cabin. 13
INT. INSIDE OF THE CABIN-NIGHT
Brad is frantically pointing the pistol at the door, and the mob outside of the cabin. BRAD I didn’t do it, you hear me! MOBB Murderer! BRAD Don’t come in here, leave this place!
MOBB Murderer! The window is broken in by one of the townspeople and at that point Brad turns the gun on himself taking his own life. Directly after the shot Steven, Joe, and several of the townspeople come through the door. STEVEN For the love of god, what have we done! JOE I swear I had no idea he had that gun, how could this happen! You did this its your fault. STEVEN How dare you, all I wanted was to film his reactions under extreme circumstances. JOE I just thought it would be a funny prank. TOWNSPERSON #1 The script never said anything about him having a gun. TOWNSPERSON #2 What have you all done, you all knew we were scaring him and that he could have a gun or something. STEVEN I think I Have to throw up. JOE I never should have listened to you when you approached me about this whole capturing true fear thing. I should have known you didnâ€™t know what you were doing Steven stands over Brad, almost in tears. STEVEN How could I have known. What have I done.