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Photos by Dusica Sue Malesevic

Pictured: Mark Berger, whose grandfather, Sam Kove, founded Kove Brothers Hardware in 1920.

Jeff Sinsley, left, helped his cousin, Nathaniel Garber Schoen, right, set up Village-based Garber Hardware’s Chelsea location.

Longtime Local Hardware Stores Hammer Out Paths To Success BY DUSICA SUE MALESEVIC When it comes to news stories about mom-and-pop stores, it’s usually about them closing due to astronomical rent hikes. But two longtime, family-owned hardware stores are not just surviving — they are thriving. “There’s hope. Not every business in this city is going to close,” Nathaniel Garber Schoen told Chelsea Now. Schoen recently spearheaded a second location in Chelsea for his family’s business — Garber Hardware — at 207A Ninth Ave. Located between W. 22nd and W. 23rd Sts., the new store took over what was once home to Alan’s Alley Video. Nathan Garber and his father started dealing in hardware goods — likely out of a pushcart — and established the business in 1884, Schoen explained. For 100 years, Garber Hardware was located at 49 Eighth Ave. at Horatio St. in the West Village, he said. In 2003, the store moved to its current location at

710 Greenwich St. because “it was time,” Schoen said. “It was about long-term success.” He explained that you think about a longtime business differently — you have to consider how the sixth generation will run it. The 2003 move gave Schoen both the experience and confidence to scout for another location. “A second store is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time,” he said. Schoen had considered a location in Jersey City five years ago, but ultimately decided to pass. A regular recipient of flyers from real estate brokers, he saw the listing for the space on Ninth Ave. in Chelsea and was attracted to the spot due to its size, location, and potential. Garber Hardware’s second location opened toward the end of July, the beginning of August, Schoen said. Schoen spent weekends and summers while he was growing up at the West Village store, which his father


and uncle currently run, he said. “We all have a hand in just about everything,” he noted, referring to the members of his family. Jeff Sinsley, Schoen’s cousin, helped him set up the new Chelsea location. The two stores differ in size (the West Village location is three times the about 2,000-square-foot Chelsea one), but both pride themselves on having a wide selection of products — tools, paint and painting supplies, housewares, nuts and bolts, among other things. “We’ve always been a bit more — the kind of stuff you can find here,” said Schoen, who says he spends a lot of time thinking about products for the store. Garber Hardware also has horseshoes, growlers for beer, shaving kits with a selection of old-school brushes, and a singular selection of books — including titles like “The Maker’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse,” HARDWARE continued on p. 12 VOLUME 08, ISSUE 47 | NOVEMBER 24 - 30, 2016

A United Front Against Trump Forming Among Activists BY ZACH WILLIAMS Thousands of messages decorated the walls of the Union Square subway station by the time Deanne Beirne added her own yellow pixel on Sun., Nov. 20, to a growing multi-colored display of public outrage toward Donald Trump. Her message urged “a safer place for all” between notes reading “Be Hopeful” and “We’ve been Trumped.” Beirne had vacillated between such opposing moods since the Nov. 8 election. Standing a few feet away from the collection of messages and sentiments, Beirne noted that she came from Boston for the weekend to find some sort of political solace in the galleries and public art of Chelsea. “Subway Therapy” has been the starting point for many. “This is people taking emergency action,” Beirne said. “This kind of reaffirms that there are a lot of people who oppose President-elect Trump.” But the anonymous authors of the messages are not alone in resisting the Republican president-elect. On Nov. 20, elected officials, activists, and residents gathered at the LGBT Community Center (208 W. 13th St., btw. Greenwich & Seventh Aves.), as hundreds of marchers met in Bryant Park, then hit the streets. The West Side of Manhattan has emerged as the epicenter of the growing resistance to Trump two weeks after the election. It all begins by channeling the individual outrage his election aroused into a more long-term and collective approach, activists, residents, and elected officials said. “It is essential that the public speak loudly so that elected leaders — both Democrats and Republicans — as well as the media, do not get lulled into a false sense of business as usual,” Congressmember Jerrold Nadler wrote in an open letter. “This is precisely what the Trump Administration is hoping for and will try to project daily.” Several hundred people brainstormed how to disrupt that narrative from the LGBT Center, where Nadler spoke on Nov. 20. Local groups plugged their own upcoming events. Gays Against Guns will go after the National Rifle Association — which spent $21 million to support Trump’s candidacy. Local Bernie Sanders supporters are speaking up. One attendee of the meeting passed around the phone number of the rabbi of Jared Kushner, son-in-law of and confidante


November 24 - 30, 2016

Photo by Zach Williams

Thousands of people have posted messages at subway stations like Union Square (above) to express their opinions about the presidential election.

Photo by Zach Williams

Hundreds of people, including Mayor Bill de Blasio and other elected officials, crowded into the LGBT Center on Nov. 20 to discuss how to oppose Presidentelect Donald Trump.

to President-elect Trump. Organizers from the office of District 3 City Councilmember Corey Johnson (whose area of coverage includes Chelsea and Hell’s Kitchen) said the purpose of the meeting was to offer locals immediate ways to get involved, whether that is by marching in the streets, supporting Congressional Democrats, or finding common cause with new people. The election of Trump is already becoming a force multiplier for local activists, according to Hell’s Kitchen resident John Bonvelli.

“This is an amazing opportunity to build bridges,” he said. Organizers intend to curate upcoming events for local groups and facilitate cooperation between residents and elected officials who admit that there is not much they can officially do to stop the Republican majority in Congress. But that does not mean that phone calls to US senators, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan and others cannot highlight the political risks of pushing a Republican legislative agenda that lacks support from the minority, Nadler said.

Photo by Donna Aceto

During a Nov. 12 march from Union Square to Trump Tower, protesters vowed to keep up pressure on the president-elect’s new administration.

Mayor Bill de Blasio added that all is not lost, even with Republicans controlling Congress and the White House. Democrats made modest gains in Congress and voters in states across the country approved progressive refUNITED continued on p. 11 .com

LGBT Town Halls Highlight Grave Concerns Over Election Upset BY DUNCAN OSBORNE As New York City’s LGBT community grapples with how to respond to Donald Trump winning the White House and Republicans maintaining control of Congress, Democrats have dominated the response at community meetings and argued that the community should rely on congressional Democrats to halt the worst Republican proposals. “Elections have consequences and that means a lot of what we’re going to do is mitigating damages,” Congressmember Jerrold Nadler, a Democrat who represents Manhattan’s West Side and portions of Brooklyn, said at a Nov. 20 town hall held at the LGBT Community Center (208 W. 13th St., btw. Greenwich & Seventh Aves.). “The Republicans are going to pass a budget that is going to murder social services.” The town hall was organized by Democrat Corey Johnson, a gay City Councilmember who represents the West Village, Chelsea, and Hell’s Kitchen. Indicating the community’s concern with the election results, the meeting drew several hundred people. The crowd filled the Center’s largest meeting space and spilled out into the hallway. Mayor Bill de Blasio, who has been touring the city talking about a Trump presidency and the Republican Congress, sought to reassure the crowd that his administration and the city were prepared to challenge Republicans, and suggested that people’s worst fears may not be realized. Trump lost the popular vote to Hillary Clinton, de Blasio said. “Donald Trump does not have a popular majority,” the mayor said, adding that if the Republicans should, for example, attempt to ban abortion or overturn marriage equality, “There will be a national political uprising against that.” Other Democratic elected officials who attended included State Assemblymember Deborah Glick, an out lesbian who represents the West Village, Ritchie Torres, an openly gay councilmember who represents parts of the Bronx, and Brad Hoylman, an out gay state senator who represents large parts of Manhattan. A name that was repeatedly invoked was Senator Charles Schumer, the New York Democrat who will lead the minority caucus in the US Senate. While Democrats in the House have a few tools they can use to .com

Photo by Zach Williams

State Assemblymember Deborah Glick and Senator Brad Hoylman look on at a Nov. 20 town hall, as Mayor Bill de Blasio pledges the city’s cooperation in resisting Trump administration moves against communities, from immigrants to LGBT New Yorkers.

slow Republican efforts to undo entitlements, health insurance available under Obamacare, worker protections, and environmental laws, Senate Democrats can use the far more powerful filibuster that requires the majority to muster 60 votes to end debate on legislation and proceed to a vote. On Jan. 3, when the 115th Congress first meets, Republicans will have 51 seats in the Senate and Democrats will have 48 (an open Louisiana seat will be decided in a Dec. 10 runoff). Schumer was not invited to the town hall. In press reports, he has indicated a willingness to use the filibuster. What was clear from the Nov. 20 town hall and an earlier Nov. 16 meeting that was organized by the Stonewall Democratic Club of New York City is that Democrats are arguing that the broader community should vest any resistance to Republican proposals in their party. Audience members and speakers urged people to prepare for the 2018 midterm elections. Of the 33 Senate seats up for reelection in 2018, eight are held by Republicans and 25 are held by Democrats, suggesting that Democrats will have an uphill battle to regain the majority at that time. TOWN HALLS continued on p. 17


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Photos by Donna Aceto

Jim Obergefell, the 2105 Supreme Court marriage equality victor, with Callen-Lorde’s Wendy Stark, Glennda Testone, executive director of the LGBT Community Center, Edie Windsor, and her spouse, Judith Kasen.

BY ANDY HUMM Edie Windsor’s name was immortalized as the named plaintiff in the 2013 US Supreme Court decision that won federal recognition for married same-sex couples. On Nov. 3, her late spouse’s name was given a place of honor as the Callen-Lorde Community Health Center dedicated its building at 230 W. 17th St. as the Thea Spyer Center, providing mental health services to the LGBT community. Thea Spyer was a “celebrated clinical psychologist,” Windsor said at the dedication ceremony, serving at the Veteran’s Administration, as director of the Psychiatric Clinic at the International Center for the Disabled, and as clinical consultant in rehabilitation at St. Vincent’s Hospital in Westchester. Spyer was wheelchair-bound toward the end of her life, but traveled to Canada in 2007 with the assistance of Marriage Equality NY and the Civil Marriage Trail to wed Windsor. The marriage was recognized in New York as of the following year, even though the state did not perform such marriages itself until 2011. When Spyer died in 2009, Windsor sued the federal government to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act and be treated as Spyer’s surviving spouse and save $363,000 in inheritance taxes and other survivor benefits. “On the day she died, she was scheduled to see two patients,” Windsor said. Wendy Stark, executive director of Callen-Lorde, said that this mental health center, opened two years ago, is one of five of the agency’s locations and already has a waiting list for appointments, a situ-

Wendy Stark and Edie Windsor cut the ribbon to dedicate CallenLorde’s Thea Spyer Center, which will provide mental health services to the LGBT community at 230 W. 17th St., with longtime marriage equality activist Brendan Fay (left) and Assemblymember Richard Gottfried looking on.

ation she called “unacceptable.” State Assemblymember Richard Gott-fried, chair of the Health Committee, said, “We need more community health centers” to meet the demand. Jim Obergefell, the named plaintiff in the Supreme Court case in 2015 that ended state bans on same-sex marriage, traveled from Washington to be with Windsor. “Edie invited me and there was no way I would miss it,” he said. Commenting on the threat to the balance of the Supreme Court — as well as to his victory — in this week’s election, Obergefell said, “I’m very much concerned. I try to hold on to what our attorneys at the Supreme Court said — that they tend not to take away rights they’ve granted.” In September, Windsor married Judith Kasen, who joined her at the ceremony. .com

Lots of Land: Hotelier’s Purchase Includes W. 23rd St. Church BY DENNIS LYNCH A hotelier bought three lots of Church land, including St. Vincent de Paul Church on W. 23rd St., from the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of New York for $50.4 million earlier this month, the Real Deal reported. The sale ends a years-long battle parishioners fought with the Church that went all the way to the highest Vatican court in Rome to block the sale of the almost 150-yearold church building. Buyer Jeffrey Dagowitz purchased two Church lots on 24th St. along with the church. He purchased a four-story inn next door to the church last year and filed demolition permits shortly after, although the Department of Buildings has not yet approved his application. The previous owners filed permits for a 35-story tower there in 2014 and Dagowitz also had plans to build a tower there when he bought it, according to the Real Deal. The zoning of the lots are a mix of C6-3X commercial and M1-6 manufacturing — the church is zoned for both, the bed and breakfast for commercial, and the W. 24th St. lots are zoned for manufacturing. The commercially zoned lots allow for large hotels, departments stores, corporate headquarters, and entertainment facilities in high-rise mixed-use building, although such zoning has maximum building heights and those buildings must conform to the existing neighborhood character, according to the NYC Dept. of City Planning. An Archdiocese spokesman said earlier this year that a “miniscule amount” of money from the sale would

go to the Vatican, and most of the money would go to churches where Saint Vincent’s former parishioners moved onto and to nearby parishes, according to the Wall Street Journal. Saint Vincent de Paul (123 W. 23rd St., btw. Sixth & Seventh Aves.) closed its large doors in 2013. It drew French-speaking Catholics from all around the city, particularly French-speaking Haitians, people from other French-speaking islands, and French diplomats in the city. The church also operated a soup kitchen — a significant loss for the neighborhood, said one W. 23rd St. resident who wished not to be named. “I think this is really something quite important to the neighborhood, not just from a religious or Catholic point of view, but for the services that were provided to the needy,” he said. “I doubt there’s going to be a soup kitchen in the basement of the new building.” Dagowitz did not respond to requests for comment regarding his plans for the properties. The Archdiocese of New York — which spans Manhattan, the Bronx, Staten Island, and seven counties north of the city — first identified Saint Vincent as a church to close or merge with another in 2007, along with 21 others around the diocese. The building was deteriorating and its small congregation meant it couldn’t support itself financially, an Archdiocese spokesperson said. Former St. Vincent parishioners petitioned the Catholic Church to save the church and took their case all the way to the Vatican, but the Catholic

Photo by Dennis Lynch

Saint Vincent de Paul Church has been closed since 2013. Its stained glass windows were damaged in the Sept. 17 Chelsea bombing.

Church’s highest court, the Apostolic Signatura, effectively sealed its fate in February when it decided not to hear another appeal from them. Parishioners also filed an application to landmark the church with the Landmarks Preservation Commission in 2008, and had the support of Community Board 4, Assemblymember Richard Gottfried, and even former French President Nicholas Sarkozy, who wrote to then-mayor Michael Bloomberg in support of the church, but the Commission denied the application. “We found that the existing façade, a neo-ClasLOTS continued on p. 15

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November 24 - 30, 2016


Voters Mellow on Medical Marijuana Matters BY PAUL DERIENZO Referendums in a half-dozen states crisscrossing the United States legalized or provided medical marijuana exceptions to criminal law for millions on Election Day. Four new states legalized it; California passed Proposition 64 legalizing pot for adult use, joining Massachusetts, Nevada and Maine. Oregon, Washington, Colorado, Alaska and the District of Columbia have already passed legalization measures. About 20% of Americans now live in states with legal pot. Arizona was the only state to reject legalization during this election. Voters in Florida, North Dakota and Arkansas also liberalized pot laws and joined about 25 states, including New York, that have legislation allowing doctors to prescribe cannabis for a variety of medical problems. Montana passed a referendum eliminating some restrictions on its existing medical marijuana law. California voters approved Proposition 64, “The Adult Use of Marijuana Act,” allowing anyone over age 21 to possess and grow marijuana. The law provides for taxation and for local com-

munities to opt out of hosting marijuana dispensaries, if they choose. Prop 64 also creates a state certification for “organic” pot; allows localities to use their names as appellations, so we’ll be seeing pot named after famous growing locales, such as Humboldt County; and allows delivery services to bring marijuana to your door. California’s immense population should give a boost to federal marijuana initiatives, sending 53 representatives from a legalization state to Congress. Massachusetts and Maine became the first Eastern states to legalize recreational use of marijuana. The measure is expected to put some pressure on New York with the Bay State border just an hour from Albany. Rensselaer County Sheriff Pat Russo said he would increase patrols where the county line runs along the Massachusetts border. He told the Albany Times Union that his main concern is how the drug would be dispensed and to whom. The Massachusetts ballot measure does not prohibit sale to out-of-state residents. “Somebody who is holding 10 ounces, who is growing six plants, it becomes a potential for them to sell it,” Russo said.

However, it’s expected to take some time before fractious state officials in Boston finalize an implementation plan. The biggest win of the night was a medical marijuana referendum in Florida that garnered 71% of the vote, even as Hillary Clinton went down to defeat. It was the second try — state law requires a 60% vote to pass a referendum and the last attempt fell a few percentage points short. The victory makes the Sunshine State the first to legalize medical marijuana in the Deep South, and came despite more than $5.5 million donated by Las Vegas casino magnate Sheldon Adelson to defeat the measure. Adelson is the 12th-richest man in America and was an early supporter of the candidacy of President-elect Donald Trump. In conservative dyed-in-the-red North Dakota, a medical marijuana referendum won with 64% of the vote. Meanwhile, New York State, which instituted a limited medical marijuana program called the “Compassionate Care Act” in 2014, has recently expanded locations that can dispense cannabis. Earlier this month, PharmaCannis Inc., which operates three dispensary locations

Upstate, opened a storefront in the Hunts Point neighborhood in the South Bronx. Rafael Salamanca, Jr., a Bronx city councilmember, said the opening was a “good thing to celebrate” by bringing “medicine” that would benefit the community. New York does not allow medical marijuana to be smoked, but it can be made into a variety of tinctures, sprays and edible forms. Governor Andrew Cuomo has said he intends to announce several new policies, including authorizing delivery services that would provide marijuana to patients too ill to travel, and enabling nurse practitioners to certify patients as medically qualified for the drug. The state would also broaden the scope of illnesses for prescribing marijuana by including post-traumatic stress. New York also plans to double the number of pot dispensaries to 40; up until now, five companies have been operating 20 dispensaries. However, marijuana and health activists have been calling for more local, neighborhood-operated dispensaries to help diversify the clientele and bring down the steep price of legal medical marijuana.

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Chelsea Bombing Suspect Pleads Not Guilty to Federal Charges BY SEAN EGAN On Thurs., Nov. 17, Ahmad Khan Rahimi, the suspect in the September Chelsea bombing and other related attacks, pleaded not guilty to eight federal terrorism charges at his arraignment at Manhattan Federal Court. Rahimi (also listed as “Rahami” in various official documents) was formally indicted on these charges on Wed., Nov. 16, as filed by US Attorney Preet Bharara. The charges include using a weapon of mass destruction, bombing a place of public use, and destroying property by means of fire or explosive. If convicted, Rahimi could face a life sentence in prison. Rahimi’s alleged attack happened around 8:30 p.m. on Sat., Sept. 17, when an explosive device, placed in a dumpster near the King David Gallery (131 W. 23rd St.) and Selis Manor (135 W. 23rd St.; a housing center for the blind and visually impaired) detonated. Surrounding buildings were damaged and dozens were left injured — though none seriously. Another bomb (constructed of a pressure cooker, wires, and a cellphone) was found on W. 27th St., though this device did not detonate. Rahimi, 28, is also the suspect in two other non-fatal, bomb-related incidents from that weekend in New Jersey: the bombing of a 5K run for the Marines in Seaside Park, NJ, and the discovery of undetonated pipe bombs at an NJ Transit station. “Allegedly driven by a commitment to violent jihad, Rahimi planted bombs in the heart of Manhattan and in New Jersey,” wrote Bharara of Rahimi, an American citizen of Afghan descent, who grew up in New Jersey and reportedly became radicalized in recent years after taking multiple trips to Afghanistan and Pakistan. “One of the

AP photo by Elizabeth Williams

In this artist’s drawing, Ahmad Khan Rahimi, center, appears in a New York courtroom to face federal terrorism charges on Nov. 10. His attorneys are David Patton, left, and Peggy Cross-Goldenberg.

bombs exploded on a Saturday evening in Chelsea, injuring over 30 people and shattering windows hundreds of yards away. For his alleged acts of terror, Rahimi will now face justice in a federal courthouse just blocks south of where he allegedly planted his bombs,” Bharara continued in her Nov. 10 statement, after Rahami faced charges in Manhattan prior to his indictment. At his arraignment, Rahimi’s lawyer, Peggy Cross-Goldenberg, asserted that her client would be pleading not guilty to the charges — a statement that Rahimi verbally confirmed with a “yes, sir” to Judge Richard M. Berman, the New York Times report-

ed. The prosecuting lawyer, Nicholas J. Lewin revealed reports including statements Rahimi made to the FBI in the aftermath of the bombings and his arrest would be used as discovery material for the case. Additionally, he said that video footage of Rahimi’s movements and actions on the day of the Chelsea bombing — including the actual planting of bombs — would be provided. Aside from these charges, Rahimi was also charged on seven counts in New Jersey, including attempted murder, stemming from the dramatic chase and shootout he engaged in with the law enforcement officers

who apprehended him in Linden, NJ the Monday after his alleged attacks. Rahimi also sustained injuries during the shootout, and, according to his lawyers, continues to have medical issues, which have complicated legal proceedings. Rahimi appeared at his arraignment for these charges on Thurs., Oct. 13 via a video conference call while in a hospital bed. Again, he pleaded not guilty to these charges. Judge Berman suggested that Rahimi’s trial could begin within the next few months, and set Rahimi’s next Manhattan court date for Mon., Dec. 19, according to the Wall Street Journal.

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PETIT LARCENY: Gallery gabber grabber While many would assume a theft at a Chelsea gallery might involve the highstakes heist of a priceless masterpiece, one crook aimed for the more mundane on Thurs., Nov. 10. That’s when a 42-yearold Brooklyn man was working at the Jim Kemper Fine Art gallery (501 W. 23rd St., at 10th Ave.), moving art from the basement storage area to the upper floors. At around 5pm, the man went upstairs to put a work on display, and left his iPhone 5c charging in the basement. When he returned about 15 minutes later, his phone (valued by the victim at $431) was gone. After looking at surveillance video of the incident, it was discovered that an unknown individual had entered the room, taken the phone, and left.

IDENTITY THEFT: Business time While most identity thieves are content to simply spend on their victim’s dime, one man recently discovered that some have a slightly more entrepreneurial spirit. On Wed., Nov. 2, the 53-yearold W. 43rd St. resident received notice in the mail that an account was opened up in his name, using his address and social security number. Further complicating matters, the account, it seems, was a business account — a fake clothing store brandishing the scammed man’s moniker in the name of the establishment. Inspection reveals that the account was opened with a Californiabased company called iPayment. The man quickly cancelled the account, and no charges have been made to him at the

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time of the account’s closure — though it is uncertain whom (or what) enacted the fraud. It’s the latest in a recent uptick in online identity theft reported to the 10th Precinct.

THEFT OF SERVICES: Drive and dash While cab drivers getting stiffed for their services is no new occurrence, on Thurs., Nov. 17, one woman took things a step further by not even waiting for her ride to be over before making her getaway. As the driver in question — an 82-year-old Queens man — approached the 12th Ave. destination (near W. 41st St.) of his female fare at about 7:40pm, the woman decided to tell the man that she would refuse to pay her bill. Continuing to drive, he calmly replied they “can go to the police,” if that was indeed the situation. This option clearly did not sit well with the passenger, and when the driver pulled up to a red light, the woman simply jumped out of the car and ran away, successfully avoiding paying her $25 fare.

CRIMINAL MISCHIEF: Upchuck express In another incident that proves that cabbies really just can’t catch a break in this city, on Fri., Nov. 11, a 26-year-old Brooklyn driver had his back rear door damaged (with a $50 price tag for repairs) by an inconsiderate fare. The driver picked

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up the man in Brooklyn, and they arrived at his destination on the 400 block of W. 31st St. at around 1am. At this point, according to the police report, the man somehow “intentionally damage[d]” the car’s door by means of vomiting on it, causing a stain. While the passenger did pay his fare, he skedaddled before compensating the driver for any damages. Video evidence of the incident was not available.

CRIMINAL POSSESSION OF MARIJUANA: Two toking on 200 On the afternoon of Thurs., Nov. 17, two bold, unsubtle stoners were caught lighting up in broad daylight. At about 2pm, an officer observed a man smoking a lit marijuana cigarette in plain public view on the sidewalk of the 200 block of W. 28th St. Upon further inspection, he was found to have “three marijuana buds” stashed in his backpack as well. The 24-year-old was arrested. Five minutes later, and a few paces away (near Seventh Ave.), a 19-year-old woman was observed doing the exact same thing. When she was approached, she did admit to the officer that she was smoking weed — but that didn’t stop the officer from searching her and finding a grinder with marijuana residue in it. She too, was arrested.


THE 13th PRECINCT Located at 230 E. 21st St. (btw. Second & Third Aves.). Deputy Inspector: Brendan Timoney. Call 212477-7411. Community Affairs: 212477-7427. Crime Prevention: 212-4777427. Domestic Violence: 212-4773863. Youth Officer: 212-477-7411. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-477-4380. Detective Squad: 212-477-7444. The Community Council meets on the third Tues. of the month, 6:30pm, at the 13th Precinct.



not be liable for slight changes or typographical errors that do not lessen the value of an advertisement. The publisher’s liability for other errors or omissions in connection with an advertisement is strictly limited to publication of the advertisement in any subsequent issue.


November 24 - 30, 2016



Top driver disTracTions Using mobile phones

Leading the list of the top distractions behind the wheel are mobile phones. Phones now do more than just place calls, and drivers often cannot pull away from their phones, even when driving. According to the California Department of Motor Vehicles, studies have shown that driving performance is lowered and the level of distraction is higher for drivers who are heavily engaged in cell


phone conversations. The use of a hands-free device does not lower distraction levels. The percentage of vehicle crashes and nearcrashes attributed to dialing is nearly identical to the number associated with talking or listening.


Many people will admit to daydreaming behind the wheel or looking at a person or object outside of the car for too long. Per-

haps they’re checking out a house in a new neighborhood or thought they saw someone they knew on the street corner. It can be easy to veer into the direction your eyes are focused, causing an accident. In addition to trying to stay focused on the road, some drivers prefer the help of lane departure warning systems.


Those who haven’t quite mastered walking and

chewing gum at the same time may want to avoid eating while driving. The majority of foods require a person’s hands to be taken off of the wheel and their eyes to be diverted from the road. Reaching in the back seat to share some French fries with the kids is also distracting. Try to eat meals before getting in the car. For those who must snack while en route, take a moment to pull over at

a rest area and spend 10 minutes snacking there before resuming the trip.


Glancing at an advertisement, updating a Facebook status or reading a book are all activities that should be avoided when driving. Even pouring over a traffic map or consulting the digital display of a GPS system can be distracting.

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UNITED continued from p. 2

erenda on issues like the minimum wage and marijuana legalization. Developments like these do not indicate “a rightward shift in this country,” even if Trump threatens to undermine Obama-era gains on issues such as healthcare, immigration, and gay marriage. It is important to organize without over-thinking, according to de Blasio. “Progressives sometimes talk themselves out of their own power,” he said. Some local organizations are entering new political realms while others find fresh opportunities in old causes. Transportation safety advocacy group Transportation Alternatives urged support for #BlackLivesMatter in a Nov. 14 email about the “intersection of racial justice and traffic justice.” A capacity crowd filled the W. 23rd St. office of Peoples Power Assemblies that night to discuss upcoming actions, including a Dec. 3 protest against white supremacy that will coincide with a KKK march in North Carolina, the two-year anniversary of the non-indictment of the NYPD officer who killed Eric Garner, and International Day for Persons with Disabilities — a demographic Trump disparaged during the presidential campaign. Trump highlights the dangers of the political, social, and economic conditions that elected him, according to organizer Nathaniel Chase. The energy from recent protests could be redeployed against something bigger

Photos by Zach Williams

Protests followed the election of Donald Trump, but local activists and elected officials want to organize a more long-term approach to opposing the controversial president-elect.

than any man, Chase said in an email. “We want to expand the scope to attach the entire white-supremacist, capitalist, imperialist system in which we live, as the system (not just Trump) is inherently racist, ableist, sexist, antiLGBTQ and anti-immigrant,” he said in the email. Local activists from the People’s Climate Movement also hope that anti-

Trump fervor can drive their activism forward. About 50 people assembled at the W. 43rd St. headquarters of SEIU 1199. The organization that rallied tens of thousands of people against climate change two years ago feels a new urgency, even if it had planned to advocate the next presidential administration — whoever won — to deal with climate change, according to organizer

From the Nov. 12 march, outside Trump Tower on Fifth Ave., a protester’s sign turns the tables on a controversial campaign promise. .com

Leslie Cagan. Democratic politicians like Hillary Clinton hardly inspire loyalty from the more radical side of the American left like herself, Cagen said. But the election of Trump adds new urgency to making the case that climate change relates to the top issues of concern for other people, she added. “We are not going to win on the climate side if we’re not also engaging in the struggle for economic and racial justice,” she said in a telephone interview. A representative of the People’s Climate Movement was not seen at the Nov. 20 organizing meeting. But like other local activists, organizers say a Trump presidency offers an opportunity to unite against a common enemy, one that still defies specific description, according to Paul Getsos, a Penn South resident who is the national coordinator for the People’s Climate Movement. In at least one sense Trump still commands the initiative as he holds the country in suspense, as Getsos awaits an answer to a lingering question of just how tightly the American left should bind together, locally and nationally, in shared opposition to President-elect Trump. “Are we dealing with a right-wing Republican,” he asked, “or are we actually dealing with a proto-fascist?” November 24 - 30, 2016


Massive Selection, Quality Stuff: Two Family-Owned HARDWARE continued from p. 1

“Junkyard Jam Band: DIY Musical Instruments and Noisemakers,” and “The Manga Guide to Electricity.” “When you know you have quality stuff, it’s easy to sell,” he said. West Village regulars, like Lino Ahston and Roland Lahe, came into the store to get keys made. Ahston told Chelsea Now they had recently moved to neighborhood. “It has everything we need,” Ahston said. “And there’s a puppy.” Indeed, the dog, Kang the Conqueror, had his own throne — an orange pad emblazoned with “Hardware Dog,” and has his own Instagram account: @Kang_ theconqueror. While there is no rambunctious dog at Kove Brothers Hardware, there is a similar tale of several generations working to make the business a success. A tailor by trade, Sam Kove decided to open a hardware store at 189 Seventh Ave. (at W. 21st St.) in 1920, his grandson, Mark Berger, explained to Chelsea Now on a Thursday afternoon at the store. It isn’t clear what spurred the decision, but somehow he learned the business, Berger said. After renting for 20 years, Kove bought the building in 1940, and the business was incorporated in 1946, he said. The family still owns the building where the approximately 1,800-squarefoot hardware store is housed, as well as a second floor of offices. After Mark’s father, Aaron Berger,

came out of the army, he started working in the store in the 1950s, he said (Lee Kove is Mark Berger’s mother and Sam Kove’s daughter). “My grandfather brought him in the business,” he explained. Aaron Berger was trained as an accountant, but he picked up the business, he said. Mark Berger spent a lot of time at the store when he was growing up. “I used to work summers,” said Berger. “I like hardware. I just like working with tools and taking things apart. I like building [things].” Customers bring items to the store for repair, such as lamps, and sometimes even necklaces — Berger unfurled a wrapped one to show Chelsea Now. “We fix all kinds of stuff,” he said. “We try to help people out.” In the 1950s and ’60s, the store catered mostly to commercial needs, and stocked products such as dyes, oil, belts, and industrial cleaning supplies, he said. Berger said he remembers a time when kerosene, which was used to clean machinery, was sold by the gallon and nails were sold by the pound. “Little by little, the neighborhood started changing — more residential,” he said. Now the brimming store has more household items and choices. For example, there were “only two types of bulbs: regular, incandescent, and then the fluorescent bulbs. That was it,” Berger said. “Now, there are 100 different types of bulbs you have to stock.” Berger said his business is 70% commercial and 30% retail — and attributes

this to the lasting power of the business. “I think it’s because we have the commercial — that keeps you going no matter what,” he said. “It’s a good balance.” After Aaron Berger retired in 1992, both Mark and his brother, Barry, were in charge of the store, he said. Barry Berger runs the 9,000-square-foot warehouse in Secaucus, New Jersey. Kove Hardware also delivers to building superintendents throughout Manhattan, and some parts of Brooklyn and the Bronx, Berger said, providing janitorial, plumbing, and electrical supplies, as well as tools, light bulbs, garbage bags, shovels, and salt. At the packed Chelsea store, customers will find what they need, and if not, “we can get anything in a day for people,” he said. Berger said he loves the neighborhood, and has longtime customers as well as employees. “People in the neighborhood are really great,” said Berger, noting they have chain fatigue of banks and Duane Reades. “They come in and say, ‘We hope you never move.’ ” For more information, visit kovebrothers.nyc and garberhardware.com.

West Village regulars — Lino Ahston and Rol recently moved nearby.  

Mark Berger remembers a time when there were only two choices for light bulbs — now there are a ton of options.

Nathaniel Garber Schoen and his dog, Kang the Conqueror (who has his own Instagram), at the hardware store.


November 24 - 30, 2016

Established in 1884, Garber Hardware opened a second location at 207A Ninth Ave. in Chelsea. .com

d Hardware Stores Flourish Gotham West Corners ‘Slice’ of the Pizza Market

Photos by Dusica Sue Malesevic

land Lahe — came into Garber’s Chelsea location to get keys made. Ahston said they

BY DENNIS LYNCH The folks behind Ivan Ramen Slurp Shop at Gotham West Market (600 11th Ave., btw. W. 44th & W. 45th Sts.) are bringing some old-school Italian to the new-school food court. Set to open early next year, Corner Slice is the creation of Ivan Orkin (the namesake of his ramen shops) and his business partners David Poran and Chef Mike Bergemann, who were inspired by “the city’s original caffés, neighborhood bakeries, and humble pizzerias of their youth,” according to a press release, which calls Corner Slice “a neighborhood bakery focusing on home-baked goods, pizza, and coffee.” “I’ve been passionate about coffee for a long time and have always felt that a great homemade nosh goes hand in hand with great coffee,” Orkin said. “And it goes without saying that as a New Yorker, I’m passionate about pizza. High quality by-the-slice pizza was once the rule, not the exception, in New York.” Corner Slice sounds more like a full-service Italian bistro than a straightforward pizza shop. It will have a full coffee and espresso menu, and serve salads, sandwiches, and des-

Courtesy Gotham West Market

Gotham West Market will soon be home to Corner Slice, a “neighborhood bakery” run by the team behind Ivan Ramen.

serts. Orkin will make the mozzarella for his pizza al taglio on-site, and the bakery will pump out “breads, breakfast pastries, cakes, pies, and cookies.” The pizza will be available by the slice or as pies. La Colombe, a small chain with 21 locations in five cities nationwide (including eight in New York) will provide the coffee beans. Corner Slice will be the ninth restaurant — including the Ample Hills Creamery ice cream shop — to open in Gotham West Market. Its hours will be 7 a.m.–11 p.m. Sun.– Thurs., and 7 a.m.–12 a.m. Fri.–Sat. For more info, visit cornerslicenyc.com and gothamwestmarket.com.


Kove Brothers Hardware has both longtime customers and employees.

Courtesy GVCCC

Kove Brothers Hardware at 189 Seventh Ave. has been serving commercial customers and the neighborhood for 96 years. .com

The Greenwich Village-Chelsea Chamber of Commerce and Chelsea Now encourage you to support your neighborhood’s brick and mortar mom-and-pop shops — not just on Nov. 26’s Small Business Saturday, but all year long. For more info, visit villagechelsea.com. To let us know about a local merchant you’d like to see featured in these pages, send an email to scott@chelseanow.com.

November 24 - 30, 2016


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Image via NYC Dept. of City Planning

Photo by Dennis Lynch

The four lots — the biggest housing St. Vincent de Paul — that hotelier Jeffrey Dagowitz now owns.

Jeffrey Dagowitz purchased 131 W. 23rd St. last year and reportedly planned to build a 35-story residential tower at the time. LOTS continued from p. 5

sical façade that replaced the original Romanesque Revial façade in 1939, was designed by a little-known architect and lacked architectural distinction,” a Commission spokesperson said. The Archdiocese earlier refused to accept a listing in the State and National Historic Register. The Archdiocese merged it with the nearby Church of St. Columba on W. 25th St., although many of the French-speaking parishio-

ners went over to Notre Dame parish in Morningside Heights. The archdiocese merged St. Columba with the nearby Guardian Angel last year. The church relocated many of the religious and historical items in St. Vincent to Notre Dame parish, and the rest to storage for possible future use by other parishes, according to an Archdiocese spokesman. September’s terror bombing on W. 23rd St. damaged some of the church’s stained glass windows, forcing the church to remove them and board up the windows.


Photo by Dennis Lynch

The former church building at 120 W. 24th St. is zoned for multistory manufacturing.

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JOSEPH LICHTER, D.D.S. Photo by Dennis Lynch

Jeffrey Dagowitz purchased church lots on W. 24th St. along with the church — which gives him a chunk of land going through the block.




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November 24 - 30, 2016


Photos by Donna Aceto

L to R: TransPAC’s Mel Wymore and Equality NY PAC’s Matthew McMorrow address a Nov. 16 meeting of the Stonewall Democrats.

TOWN HALLS continued from p. 3

Some speakers asked that the community focus its energy on New York; not an unreasonable request given that liberals and progressives are unlikely to see any gains out of Washington, DC over the next two years, or perhaps even the next four. At the Stonewall meeting, Mel Wymore, who heads TransPAC, and Matthew McMorrow, who heads Equality NY PAC, said that while fighting in Congress would be necessary, a focus on local and state governments was warranted as well. “There is a lot we can do at all levels of government,” Wymore told the crowd of more than 200 who gathered at the Center. TransPAC and Equality NY PAC were founded after the Empire State Pride Agenda, once New York’s only statewide LGBT group, closed its doors last year. While they were largely unsuccessful, both groups backed Democrats seeking State Senate seats in this month’s election. Trump’s win has sparked protests across the nation, and as he has announced some cabinet nominees and others who will work in his

administration who do not have to be approved by the Senate, some of those protests have grown louder. His selection of Steve Bannon, the former publisher of the right wing website breitbart.com, as a senior advisor prompted criticism even among some conservatives who view Bannon as racist. The choice of Alabama Republican Senator Jeff Sessions as attorney generally was widely panned by civil rights groups, including LGBT advocates. While the community worries about losing some hard won gains, a burst of violence across the country that appears to be perpetrated by Trump supporters has targeted a number of groups. Trump used slurs against Mexican immigrants and Muslims during his campaign and exhorted his supporters to violence in some of his rallies. “There is no question that Trump has unleashed the worst elements in our society,” Hoylman said during the Stonewall meeting. As we went to press on Tues, Nov. 22, community activists were holding another town hall meeting at the Center to discuss responses to Trump’s election and continued Republican control of Congress.

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The overflow crowd at the LGBT Community Center on Nov. 20.



#GODSLOVECOOKBOOK November 24 - 30, 2016


Rev. Jen Goes Trolling — For Fun! Flicks, friends, and a focus on the positive

BY REV. JEN MILLER If you’ve been following my column, you know that, in the past year and a half, my boyfriend Joe got cancer and I lost my job and my apartment of 21 years (which also served as the Troll Museum). Therefore, it should come as no surprise that I am writing this shortly after being released from a psych ward! But, despite this terrible shitshow we call 2016, there are still things to look forward to (namely, 2016 ending). Hence, I will focus on the positive, starting with my trip to the nuthouse.

THE NUTHOUSE In 2007, I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, and PTSD. There are days when it takes courage just to walk from my bed to the kitchen sink. This year, I also developed major depression, the kind where you tell the bartender, “I’ll have whatever Dylan Thomas had.” I promised Joe that I would get better. For richer and poorer, in sickness and in health becomes real when one of you has cancer and the other is mentally ill. “Amor omnia vincit” — love conquers all; and love was the catalyst for getting help. There are two major obstacles regarding mental health care. The first is the stigma. If you have a broken leg, people visit you in the hospital and bring you flowers. If your mind is broken, no one visits and no one brings you shit. The second is lack of beds. I went to three states over the course of a month, looking for care and couldn’t get it. Once back in NYC, a friend (George) took me to Beth Israel’s emergency room. A kindly nurse gave me scrubs, took my vitals, and sent me to a facility where I didn’t see the sun for five days. Immediately upon my “imprisonment,” breakfast was announced. I waited in the cafeteria line until a man put eggs on my tray along with Rice Krispies. I thought about how my Chihuahua, JJ, is afraid of Rice Krispies because they snap, crackle and pop. I missed JJ and wished I could cuddle with her. Finding an empty spot, I sat down. A boy I’ll call “Benny” sat across from me. “Hi. I’m Benny,” he said. “What’s your name?” “Jen.” Soon, everyone introduced themselves. “So, what did you do to end up here?” Benny asked. “Nervous breakdown, I replied. “What did you do to get in here?” “Let’s see. I’ve been an alcoholic since I was 10. Joined the army and drove a tank in Iraq. Too much death, and when I got back my girlfriend died. So I started doing heroin.” Little, red pinpoint dots connected by tracks covered REV. JEN continued on p. 19


November 24 - 30, 2016

Photo by John Foster

Good hair day: Rev. Jen prepares to attend the premiere of “Trolls.”


REV. JEN continued from p. 18

his arms. Maybe I’d never win the Pulitzer for being a great war correspondent. Maybe I’d just keep writing books about sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll — but I felt, at that moment, like I was a war correspondent and that I was staring at a battlefield, written all over his arms. Soon, everyone shared their stories and we all became inseparable. We played Bingo, did art therapy and even stole the nurse’s remote so we could watch horror movies. When I was discharged, I cried my eyes out and gave Benny a picture I’d done in art therapy of a cobra, a creature that sheds its skin and grows new skin, as we all needed to do. On it, I wrote, “Thank you for making what I thought would be the worst experience of my life one of the best.”

“WEREWOLF BITCHES FROM OUTER SPACE” Speaking of horror movies, I made one. As this newspaper was going to press, it was having its premiere; 7 p.m., Nov. 22, at Lucky 13 (644 Sackett St., Brooklyn.). The film is about crazed werewolf bitches who fly to Earth from the plant Uranus to attack a bevy of douchebags. Everyone from art snobs to Goldman Sachs employees are shown no mercy in this bloody masterpiece! The film took longer than “Jaws” to make, and we didn’t even have a mechanical shark! It almost never made after the original director, Courtney Fathom Sell, dropped out. Luckily, my Goddaughter, Dylan Mars Greenberg, stepped in and co-directed along with me. It stars Janeane Garofalo, Rachel Trachtenberg, Faceboy, Robert Prichard, Dave Hill, and about a hundred other great art stars.

Photos by John Foster

This publication’s music columnist, Jim Melloan (left), is one of the many art stars in the cast of Rev. Jen’s latest cinematic triumph: “Werewolf Bitches from Outer Space.”

“TROLLS” (THE MOVIE) As founder of the famed Troll Museum, I was offended that DreamWorks didn’t invite me to the premiere. Being avant-garde means you do everything first and make no money. However, my friend, Chris Prynoski, whose animated feature “Nerdland” premieres soon, went to the LA premiere of “Trolls” and sent me some swag, including a Troll wig and Troll sunglasses, which my pal, John, wore. In these ridiculous getups, we marched to the movie theater carrying a hand-painted sign featuring a Troll where individuals could poke their heads through it and pose as a Troll. We didn’t get in free, but we got the “child discount.” Appropriate, because we laughed and cried like children. Though not half as awesome as the Troll Museum was, “Trolls” is still a fun flick. The best part: When went out into the lobby, a little girl pointed at me and said, “Look! It’s Poppy!” Poppy is the heroine Troll in the film who eventually saves all the Trolls from being eaten by monsters. Best. Compliment. Ever. So when, pondering what exactly tied all of the above together, I thought of Poppy being serenaded by her Troll paramour to the song “True Colors,” whose lyrics include “It’s hard to take courage. In a world full of people, you can lose sight of it all.” Not a dry eye in the house. The world had made me crazy. But despite my fears, I got help. When it seemed like my movie would never get done, I managed to finish it. Maybe I am like Poppy. Maybe we should all strive to be like the Trolls — who, despite their diminutive size, conquer hate with love. If the news, politics, and hate are making you crazy, remember love really does conquer all. .com

A passerby tries having Troll hair, as Rev. Jen makes her way to a screening of the film whose titular creatures were a museum before they were a movie.

November 24 - 30, 2016


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November 24 - 30, 2016


Buhmann on Art Richard Long at Judd Foundation

Photo by Sol Hashemi © Judd Foundation; Art © 2016 Richard Long. All Rights Reserved, DACS, London / ARS, NY

Richard Long’s “Fall at Spring” (terracotta, 172.5 x 418.6 in.).

BY STEPHANIE BUHMANN Born in 1945 in Bristol, England, Richard Long is best known for radical works that transform natural materials and landscapes into sculptures. One of his great admirers was Donald Judd. In fact, throughout the 1970s and 1980s, Judd wrote extensively on the British sculptor, once proclaiming him to be “the best artist in Europe.” In his texts, Judd described Long’s process, but also stressed how challenging it was for Long to show his work in New York. Hence, it seems fitting that, more than 20 years after Judd’s passing, Long has been invited to create a new, temporary installation in Judd’s restored former home and studio in Soho. In fact, two large-scale works, created through the use of a terracotta slip, will extend the entire length the foundation’s building (nearly 60 feet). This installation will directly relate to Long’s wellknown work “Sea Lava Circles,” which he made from volcanic rock that he’d collected in Iceland. It was Judd who had acquired this work in 1988 and who permanently installed it at The Chinati Foundation in Marfa, Texas. In Soho, Judd had always envisioned the ground floor of his space to be used for exhibition purposes. Though it has featured his works, as well as examples by many others, it has never served as a venue for Long’s work before. Curated by Judd’s son, Flavin Judd, this installation changes this, and subsequently marks one chapter in a series of projects that aim to highlight and contextualize the interrelated aspects of Judd’s oeuvre. Through Dec. 17, at Judd Foundation (101 Spring St., btw. Broadway & Mercer St.). The ground floor that houses the installation is free and open to the public Thurs., Fri. & Sat., 1–5:30pm. Call 212-219-2747 or visit juddfoundation.org. .com

Photo by Sol Hashemi © Judd Foundation; Art © 2016 Richard Long. All Rights Reserved, DACS, London / ARS, NY

Richard Long’s “Friendships” (2016, terracotta, 184.5 x 268 in.).

November 24 - 30, 2016



November 24 - 30, 2016


Rhymes with Crazy

The Growing Pains of Aging are a Laughing Matter BY LENORE SKENAZY Hear that joke about old people? It kills ’em every time. An elderly man comes into a bar and notices a lovely lady about his age having a drink by herself. He pulls up a stool, leans over and asks, “So… do I come here often?” Sure, laugh. Or cry. Fact is, we’ll all be the lady or the man some day — god willing. In the meantime, we can tremble, or simply grab a copy of “Die Laughing: Killer Jokes for Newly Old Folks,” the new book by William Novak. The cover shows a cane slipping on a banana peel. But the real joke is on the rest of us who didn’t think of this great idea first. Novak, 68, is the author of 25 other books, and, by the way, father of B.J. Novak, writer, actor, and executive producer of “The Office,” on which he played Ryan Howard. Papa Novak is best known as co-author of “The Big Book of Jewish Humor.” But he says he was between books when he hurt his shoulder and had to go to physical therapy. So he is stretching, aching, and dealing with doctors when he realizes: This is not a unique experience. What the world needs is a joke book about the changes that eventually come to your body, your routine, your love life (!) and,


especially, your short term memory. Doctor:  Mr. Jackson, your test results have come back, and I’m afraid I have a double-dose of bad news. Mr. Jackson: Just tell me. I can handle it. Doctor: Okay. You have cancer, and you also have Alzheimer’s. Mr. Jackson: That’s terrible. But at least I don’t have cancer! So Novak started collecting jokes. As he did, he realized no joke is ever told for the first time. Proof? Two older men, acquaintances but not really friends, are sitting on a park bench. One turns to the other and says, “Remind me, was it you or your brother who died last winter?” Novak says that when his friend told him that joke, he loved it and immediately decided to include it. Then, a few weeks later he was in Vermont and found “The World’s Oldest Joke Book.” It was literally a book of kneeslappers from fourth century Greece — and it included the “You or your brother?” joke. But if there are no new jokes, what is eternally new is the strange sensation of having been a young person but now

gradually experiencing all the things you associate with old people. To make some sense of this, Novak arranged the jokes into chapters on things like long marriages, new partners, and sex, along with death and its funnier counterpart, the afterlife. So, sex? Man in confessional: “Father, I’m 82 years old. I have children and grandchildren, but last night I made love to a girl who’s 24. And not just once, but twice!” Priest: “Tell me, when was the last time you came to confession?” Man in confessional: “This is my first time. I’m Jewish.” Priest: “So why are you telling me?” Man in confessional: “Telling you? I’m telling everybody!” When I was reading these jokes, a strange thing happened to me: I heard them in my father’s voice. That’s not just because my dad loved to tell jokes — toward the end of his life, “Got any new ones?” was what he asked me for most. It’s because jokes themselves are almost an artifact of dying era. “Funny people these days, they do

routines and many are terrific. But they’re not ‘Two guys walk into a bar,’ ” according to Novak. “One of my goals is to preserve the art of the joke, which I fear is leaving us,” he said. The guys who’d grab a mic and rata-tat-tat, “My wife drove her car into the living room”-type of gags aren’t here anymore. Where’d they go? Here’s a clue: Two old friends made a pact that whoever dies first would come back and tell the other what it’s like. So one day Pete gets a call from Richard, who died of a heart attack. Pete says, “What’s it like?” Richard tells him: “I start off with a big breakfast. Then I have sex, and after that I lie in the sun. Then it’s time for lunch, followed by a nap and more sex until it’s time for dinner...” Pete is thrilled. “I had no idea Heaven would be like that!” “Who said anything about Heaven? I’m a bull in Wisconsin.” We should all be so lucky. Lenore Skenazy is a keynote speaker who authored the book, and founded the blog, Free-Range Kids (freerangekids.com).

November 24 - 30, 2016


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Profile for Schneps Media

Chelsea Now  

November 24, 2016

Chelsea Now  

November 24, 2016