Downtown Express

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VOLUME 29, NUMBER 2

Good neighbors New neighborhood group to ease Fidi growing pains B Y KYL E CA M P B E LL ike any adolescent, the newly residential area of Downtown’s Financial District is getting taller by the day and experiencing new developments in unexpected places. Also like a teenager, the growing neighborhood is going through some changes it’s not quite ready to handle. To ease these growing pains, a group of Fidi residents have formed something unheard of in an area once exclusively filled with office buildings that emptied out and went dark every night: a neighborhood association. “The idea of the neighborhood association is to become a grassroots tool for the neighborhood,” said Patrick Kennell, one of the founding members of the group. “We want to come together and form a collective voice for the community.” The Financial District Neighborhood Association will hold its inaugural public meeting on Thursday, Feb. 11 at the Pine Street School at 25 Pine St. At the town hall-style meeting, which runs from 6:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m., the half-dozen organizers will introduce themselves and outline the group’s goals before opening the floor for attendees to share their concerns and suggestions about improving the neighborhood. “What we don’t want it to be is just a place for people to complain,” said community activist Luis Vazquez. “That’s not what we want. We want people who really care about living in the neighborhood.” Likely topics of discussion include overcrowding in the schools, infrastructure, construction, and most notably, refuse on the streets. As new residential towers rise on the streets of the Financial District, so too do piles of household garbage. The problem is exacerbated by the trend of converting the area’s existing office buildings to residential use. Offices must hire private carting

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JANUARY 28 – FEBRUARY 10, 2016

NEW FIGHT FOR NEW SCHOOL With site finally chosen for Greenwich St. school, locals say now the real fight begins to expand it

BY YAN N IC RACK he city has finally named a site for a long-awaited elementary school for the Financial District after a years-long fight for space, but Downtowners aren’t declaring total victory yet. In fact, they’re preparing for a

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whole new battle over exactly what the new school will look like, aiming to maximize the rare opportunity to create Downtown classroom space, and make sure it will be enough. “We really need to get the most out of this,” said Tricia Joyce, a parent and the co-chair of Community

Photo by Milo Hess

Snow daze Downtowners made the most of the massive snowfall over the weekend by going sledding in Washington Market Park. The city got more than two feet of snow on Saturday, nearly beating the all-time record set in 2006. For more Downtown snow pictures, see page 12.

NEIGHBORS Continued on page 2

1 MET ROT E CH • NYC 112 01 • COPYRIG HT © 2016 N YC COMMU N ITY MED IA , LLC

Board 1’s Youth and Education Committee. Days after a 476-seat school was announced for 77 Greenwich St., school advocates and local parents started drawing up their wish lists for more seats, larger facilities and even a middle-school expansion — all to satisfy Lower Manhattan’s staggering population growth, which they say the Dept. of Education is too slow to address. Paul Hovitz, co-chair of CB1’s Youth and Education Committee, said that in the earlier struggle to get Spruce Street School into the Gehry Building, the community learned too late that simply securing a site is not the end of the battle for school seats. “The mistake we made was being so happy we were getting the school there that we didn’t press for more floors and to have more than two classes in a grade — because two classes on a grade was so small,” he said. “By the time we realized, everything was set in stone.” Joyce agreed that the challenge now is to secure greater community participation in designing the new Greenwich St. school. “We have learned a lot since Spruce Street School was approved NEW SCHOOL Continued on page 14


WHAT THE DUCT? “Gunbae” means “cheers” in Korean, but there was no cheer on hand when a Tribeca restaurant by that name asked Community Board 1 for longer hours to serve alcohol. The high-end Korean BBQ and karaoke joint at 67 Murray St. that opened last June took months to get Community Board 1’s Tribeca Committee to sign off on its original liquor license. Neighbors had been burned before by previous bars at the same space, and worried about the noise from Gunbae’s plans for seven karaoke rooms. The spot ended up opening with four — and was only allowed to serve booze until midnight. But it wasn’t noise that was at issue on Jan. 13, when owner Andy Lau, manager Ray Cho, and lawyer Glenn Romano asked the committee to approve extending Gunbae’s hours of operation from midnight to 2 a.m. Thursday to Sunday. It was an offense against another sense — smell. “I know you all make things with cabbage because our apartments smell like it,” said Loretta Thomas, a resident of the building. “Cooking cabbage smells like rotten garbage. And our whole building smells like rotten garbage a lot of the time. And that’s from the kimchi.” It’s unclear how odors from the

restaurant are getting to the apartments above. Romano suggested the building’s center duct may be the culprit, but he said it is not hooked up to the restaurant’s ventilation system. Equating the smell of cabbage and kimchi with garbage did not go down well with Lau, who called Thomas’s remark “a little racist.” Thomas apologized if her comment came off wrong, but she said there were more issues than just the kimchi-cabbage conundrum. She said there have been problems with drunken patrons urinating in the doorway, vomiting on the sidewalk, and even passing out in front of the building — not to mention a proliferation of cigarette butts. Thomas said she pines for the days when the ground floor space was vacant. “It was fine when there was nothing there for about a year, and now it’s all back again,” she said. “The idea of having another hour even, or another two hours to drink is daunting.” The committee counseled the restaurant to manage the street better, improve relations with the neighbors, and to temper their expectations about a 2 a.m. closing, saying 1 a.m. may be more feasible. “Generally we do not approve 2 a.m. on side streets and Murray is a side street,” said committee chairwoman Elizabeth Lewinsohn, who invited the restaurateurs to come back in five months and try again.

JACKHAMMERS IN THE MORNING If you think late-night for karaoke is a hard sell in Tribeca, try early morning construction. Plaza Construction representative Mark Segalla asked CB1’s Tribeca Committee to allow construction on the 157-unit luxury tower set to rise at the former St. John’s University site at 111 Murray St., to start at 8 a.m. instead of 9 a.m. on Saturdays.

Segalla made the case that the extra time would get the foundation work over with about a month earlier than otherwise. “We’re trying to get out sooner than later,” Segalla said. But committee member Bruce Ehrmann said the trade-off wouldn’t be in the interest of residents. “Better to get out later and let people, let kids sleep another hour on Saturday,” he said. Ehrmann said the neighborhood is “under siege” with construction. Lower Manhattan has around 90 active major construction projects in addition to extensive roadwork. The proposal went nowhere and the committee passed a resolution against it.

SOMETHING FISHY IN THE SEAPORT? They loved the message, but didn’t trust the messenger. Seaport residents gave the Howard Hughes Corporation a hard time last week, when the developer presented their plans to restore the historic Tin Building at the foot of Pier 17 to CB1’s Seaport and Landmarks committees. The restoration of the dilapidated fish market warehouse garnered praise from the committee members, but the meeting went off course when attendees raised questions about the company’s plans for another site — the New Market Building, where Hughes had hoped to build a 500-foot tower until it abandoned the plan last month. Preservation group Friends of South Street Seaport dug up a draft proposal for another 10-story mixed-use project including a hotel at the site, which the developer had filed with the city’s Economic Development Corporation last August. Landmarks committee chair Roger Byrom read from the document at

NEIGHBORS Continued from page 1

companies to carry away their trash — which is mostly paper. But when those buildings are filled with condos — and kitchens — the resulting household garbage becomes the city’s problem — and a smelly one at that. “It is clear to everyone living Downtown that garbage collection is falling behind, with garbage bags in huge piles that are easily taller than me,” said Councilmember Margaret Chin. Chin said she’s working with the Department of Sanitation and building owners to establish a strategy to prevent trash from piling up, but offered few specifics. Kennell suggested that the piles could be reduced by changing the trash collection times, but he said he’d like to flesh out that idea during next month’s meeting. He also noted that, to some degree, problems with

Photo by Milo Hess

Patrick Kennell, president of his co-op board on John Street and a member of Community Board 1, is organizing a neighborhood association to help give the new residents of the Financial District a unified voice.

the meeting, but was interrupted by Chris Curry, H.H.C.’s executive vice president of development, who tried in vain to steer the discussion back to the Tin Building. “We’re not talking about a mixed-use project,” he said repeatedly. “That’s not what’s before you tonight.” Curry insisted that the document was just a hypothetical plan submitted to the E.D.C. as a formality because of a contractual deadline and did not represent an actual project that was going forward. Nevertheless, the revelation of yet another H.H.C. Seaport plan that had not been made public caused the lingering mistrust many local residents feel toward the developer to bubble to the surface. “Every time we turn around, the project shifts,” said Maureen Koetz, a member of the group that obtained the document. CB1 has repeatedly asked H.H.C. to deliver a master plan for the Seaport, rather than proposing separate projects for individual buildings — which they feel leaves them in the dark. "It does beg the question about the rest of your plans," Byrom said of the draft proposal. Curry said that H.H.C. continues to explore a mixed-use project for the site, but that the community would be informed as soon as there was a concrete plan. “We have not furthered a mixed-use project to date because there is no project to go with,” he said. “Before anything happens, we’ll be back to see you.” But some on the committee think it’s time for an ultimatum demanding a master plan for the area. “I think it’s long overdue that we as a committee write letters to Landmarks, City Planning, etc., saying we would like to put a halt on anything you’re doing at the Seaport until we get a master plan,” said committee member Joe Lerner. “I think they’re piecemealing us to death.”

trash pickup and overall traffic congestion — another major issue in the neighborhood — are somewhat inevitable because of the layout of New York’s oldest neighborhood. “These streets were built for horses, not cars,” Kennell said. “It’s an old colonial street map, so that’s always going to present problems.” But beyond the antiquated layout, most residents agree that the real driving force behind Fidi’s growing pains is simply that people are moving into the neighborhood faster than city services can keep up. With more than 72,000 residents as of last year, the population of the Financial District has increased by 18 percent since 2010, and more than 100 percent since 2000, according to a report by Community Board 1. Citing 2,739 new residential units set to open NEIGHBORS Continued on page 20

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January 28 – February 10, 2016

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January 28 – February 10, 2016

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Pols push bill to require local majority on the BPCA board BY YAN N I C RA CK Downtown’s representatives in Albany fired another shot this week in the war with Gov. Cuomo over the board that controls Battery Park City. State Sen. Daniel Squadron and Assemblymember Deborah Glick unveiled legislation on Jan. 26 that would require that a majority of the seven-member board of the Battery Park City Authority be local residents. Currently only one member of the board, which is appointed by the governor, lives in the neighborhood. “Battery Park City has changed,” said Squadron. “The Battery Park City Authority should change with it. It’s a fundamental value that communities should have a say in the decisions affecting them. Lower Manhattan residents should have that opportunity in Battery Park City.” The announcement came the same day Community Board 1 passed a resolution asking for Cuomo to take advantage of a pair of vacant board seats, as well as two other expired terms, to appoint four Battery Park City residents to the board that controls their neighborhood. Community board resolutions are purely advisory, but the bill Squadron

and Glick propose would give the plea the force of law. Shortly after CB1’s Battery Park City Committee drafted the resolution at its Jan. 5 meeting asking Cuomo to appoint a voting majority to the board — and consult with community leaders when it comes to candidate selection — Squadron and Glick, together with Councilmember Margaret Chin, Borough President Gale Brewer and Congressman Jerrold Nadler, directly wrote to the governor pressing him to appoint a majority slate of Batter Park City residents. Over the summer, Squadron also renewed his call for the city to exercise it’s long-standing option to wrest the authority away from the governor for the price of a dollar and the assumption of its debts and assets. The city-takeover option has a strong supporter in Tom Goodkind, a community board member and Battery Park City resident — who believes the quest for more representation on the board is a lost cause. “It’s the same thing again, and again, and again,” he said of the resolution, which includes a deadline for the governor to respond by April 1. “I think it’s a

Photo by Tequila Minksy

Bo a rd ro om with a v i e w Community Board 1 took local politics to lofty heights at its monthly meeting this week, when its members swapped their usual quarters on Centre St. for the panoramic views of the observatory atop 1 World Trade Center. Since it was an open public meeting, civic-minded Downtowners were able to take the the ride up to the tower’s 100th floor get a free gander at the stunning view, which usually comes with a hefty price tag. Normally, tickets for the tower are $32 for adults and $26 for children. State Sen. Daniel Squadron worked it out with Legends, the company that runs the observatory, to open up the exclusive space for the CB1 meeting. The location certainly boosted community involvement in the board’s monthly meeting, which is usually lucky to see 70 people show up. Tuesday night the observatory was packed to it’s 125-person capacity, with even more people waiting outside to be let in, as the crowd upstairs began to thin.

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January 28 – February 10, 2016

complete waste of time. We’re not really certain, once this ever does get through, that it makes any difference.” Indeed, even as Squadron announced the new bill at the CB1 meeting on Thursday, he was quick to temper expectations of getting the bill through the Republican-controlled Senate. The calls to oust the leadership of the B.P.C.A. board, or abolish it altogether, have gathered momentum over the past year in the wake of a series of unpopular decisions and tin-eared public-relations missteps durning the tenure of chairman Dennis Mehiel, whose term expired at the end of last year. (Members of the board continue to serve until a replacement is appointed by the governor.) Residents resented the summary ouster by the board of Tessa Huxley, who helmed the Battery Park City Parks Conservancy for almost three decades, and protested the replacement of the North Cove Marina’s beloved Commodore Michael Fortenbaugh as operator, in favor of a partnership led by a local developer and tenant of the B.P.C.A. But the common thread among locals’ complaints, large and small, is a lack of communication with residents, or any sense that local opinions or concerns are of any interest to members of a board that seems beholden only to Albany. A rare public forum held last month, in which select board members took questions from residents, did little to dispel the B.P.C.A.’s reputation for disconnected aloofness. At one point, when asked why the authority didn’t inform residents about its now-controversial plan to hire a private security company, Mehiel said when the board quietly posed a request for proposals on the authority’s website, he considered that ample notice for residents. Likewise, when residents asked for more details on a host of other aspects of the authority’s workings and decision-making process, rather than answer the questions, board members simply invited residents to file a formal request under the Freedom of Information Law — state legislation that was specifically created to force uncooperative government agencies to divulge public information. At the authority’s monthly board meeting on Wed., Jan. 27, the legislation announced by Squadron and Glick did not come up. But Martha Gallo, the only member who lives in the neigh-

Photo by Milo Hess

Battery Park City Authority board chairman Dennis Mehiel is under fire from local residents and elected officials after a string a unpopular decisions. Now there’s a push for a state law to require major changes to the governorappointed board.

borhood, did cautiously bring up the discontent in the community. “I think the current environment around the dialogue with electeds and the community at large is in need of some remediation,” she said to chairman Mehiel during a discussion of the authority’s financial report. “And I would just ask the board, and Dennis, to consider the broad community engagement model going forward.” She added that she felt “very enthusiastic” about the way the board runs the neighborhood. “I think we do follow the letter of the law,” Gallo said, “I just think we have some work to do on the spirit around which we engage the community. We have a little cloud hanging over us in terms of some of the constituents.” Mehiel said he agreed — and claimed the board was already working on being more mindful of residents’ concerns. “My answer to you is ‘yes, we hear you.’ We accept the fact that we haven’t been as effective as we maybe should have been,” he told Gallo. “We have to do a better job at communicating, and we will do a better job,” he said, later adding that the board carried away “a few scars” from the town hall in December. Mehiel was not available to answer reporters’ questions after the meeting, and a spokeswoman for the authority would not say whether the governor had been in touch with the B.P.C.A. to discuss the future of the board. DowntownExpress.com


Drop in the bucket New fed funds still won’t pay tab for Downtown flood protection projects BY YANNIC RACK The $176 million the federal government recently pledged to fund storm-resiliency projects in Lower Manhattan is just a trickle, not a flood, considering the overall cost of the ambitious plans. This month, the federal government awarded the funds for ambitious storm protections to run from Montgomery St. on the Lower East Side to the northern tip of Battery Park City, fortifying one of the most vulnerable stretches of shoreline in the city. But with the project expected to cost at least $600 million, the recent federal contribution is just a drop in the bucket, leaving the vital project stalled until hundreds of millions of dollars in additional funding can be found. “Mother Nature will not wait for politicians to figure how to secure our waterfront,” said Catherine McVay Hughes, who has long advocated for

resiliency measures Downtown as chairwoman of Community Board 1. The city had actually applied for $500 million for the project — called Lower Manhattan Protect and Connect — through a competition by the U.S. Dept. of Housing and Urban Development, so the $176-million award leaves the project more than $300 million short, even with the $115 million in city and state funds already pledged to the effort. Hughes said the award was great news, but that the process was still moving too slow, especially considering the havoc wreaked by Sandy, which killed over 50 people and caused at least $18 billion in damage across the city. “Anything you do on the waterfront has to be carefully orchestrated,” she said. Even more modest projects that are already fully funded will take an excru-

National Disaster Resilience Competition

The feds recently pledged $176 million for storm-resiliency projects meant to protect Lower Manhattan from the Lower East Side to the northern tip of Battery Park City but that money won’t be nearly enough.

ciatingly long time to come to fruition. The so-called East Side Coastal Resiliency Project, spanning the Lower East Side shoreline from Montgomery St. north to E. 23rd St., was awarded $335 million through a separate federal competition two years ago. Since then, preliminary designs have been completed, according to city officials, but work won’t start until late 2017, and won’t be complete until 2022. Last October, the city put out a request for proposals to find an

engineering partner for the Lower Manhattan Protect and Connect project, according to officials familiar with the plans, but work won’t begin for several more years. Although specific plans are not finalized, the expectation is that most of Lower Manhattan will eventually be protected from storm surges by a system of sea walls, movable flood barriers, pumps, and a levee system at FLOOD MONEY Continued on page 10

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BY JAN E L B L A D O W

BRIDGE CAFÉ TO REOPEN …

Hopefully back on the fast track after lots of false starts since Hurricane Sandy hit 27 months ago, The Bridge Café (279 Water St.) is inching its way to a springtime opening. Last week we spoke with proprietor Adam Weprin, who assured us that after saying “we’ll be back in two months” for two years, those last “two months” are growing closer. He’d like to see a March soft opening. “Right now we’re still fighting,” he said of telephone, electric and water issues. Problems include not being able to access the building from the street to install new phone lines. For some reason, when Water Street was ripped open to put in Fios and other new infrastructure, phone lines weren’t run to the building. And water lines leading from the steam pipes under the street weren’t insulated, so all the water coming into the restaurant is scalding hot. “Hot water runs into the walk-in food cooler systems so that’s not going to keep food cold,” Weprin said. “Not to mention that workers and customers could burn their hands. It’s frustrating.” You would think that the most hair-pulling moments were behind him. The wooden building from 1794 was pretty much gutted from the main floor down to the basement. Seawater filled the basement and rose four feet in the dining room and kitchen. The fetid water destroyed not only all the power lines and water pipes, but ate through beams, flooring and supports, some of which are more than 200 years old. The basement was dug out. Nearly

85-percent of the wood supports in the city’s oldest commercial wood-frame building needed to be replaced. The basement ceiling and first floor were completely reconstructed. The exterior was cleaned up, rotten wood replaced and repainted. “We only did restoration,” Weprin said, noting that the Landmarks Commission was very supportive. They wanted the façade as it looked years ago. To accommodate, “we changed the Dover Street wall to add fake doors.” The wooden pillars in the dining room were reinforced, and only one needed an iron rod insert to strengthen it. “What I found interesting is that wood construction moves with what’s shaking it — like an earthquake or water. It all moves together. So the building was surprisingly structurally sound,” Weprin said. “The dining room floor is all new, missing all those scuff marks, but that’s just a matter of time to get that look back. The bar managed to survive.” One distinctive aspect of the 221-year-old structure hasn’t changed, despite all the work. “But the funny thing is that with all the reconstruction, the building still slants,” he said. “It still has that same old feeling.” Weprin is now gearing up to hire all-new staff and find a new chef. “I’m going to have to give him or her some leeway and add their own dishes to the menu, have their fun.” But he assured me that Bridge Café favorites will be back – softshell crabs, calamari, crab cakes, and of course, the buffalo. “We’re going for high-end American comfort food.” And we long-time neighbors can’t wait!

A ZEN YEAR …

Photo by @HannaBrakeyDSLR

The Bridge Café hopes to reopen in March for the first time since Superstorm Sandy.

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January 28 – February 10, 2016

I can’t believe a year has passed since Warrior Bridge (275 Water St.) opened. Seems like just a couple months ago, I met Gary Snyder, owner and head Aikido instructor, who was so enthusiastic about becoming part of our neighborhood. “It’s been a good year,” Snyder told me. “I love being in the Seaport, moving into a new neighborhood which is so warm, embracing and different. The quiet cobblestone streets. It’s a soothing, nice place to be.” And the neighborhood has embraced his school and community center that “trains mind, body and spirit through martial arts, yoga and

Courtesy of Stephen Pitalo

Music-video historian Stephen Pitalo will host the “Music Video Time Machine” series on the first Friday of each month through June at Ambrose.

meditation.” The space is intimate and soothing, and class sizes are smaller than most around NYC. “People are getting more individual attention. Students who begin with us, stay with us,” he said. The morning meditation class, at 7:30 a.m. Tuesday through Friday, is one of their “best kept secrets,” he noted. “The regulars are appreciative to have this.” Yoga classes attract the most diverse students. Under Sean Langaus, who heads the yoga program, it is the fastest growing area of the dojo. One popular class is Acro Yoga — basically acrobatics and yoga combined. People partner up and balance on each other in a series of yoga poses. “It’s poetic and beautiful,” said Snyder. “Last year was a solid foundation for our new place, and we are excited about 2016,” he added. To celebrate the first anniversary, Warrior Bridge has a sign-up special, offering a free month of classes to anyone who signs up for the introductory one-month membership before the end of January. So you’ll get two months of unlimited classes for $75. Schedules and registration are at www.warriorbridge.com.

ROCK LOBSTER…

Being a big fan of both music and shellfish, I was gobsmacked to discover “Music Video Time Machine,” a new, fun night at Ambrose (18 Fulton St.) on the first Friday of each month through June. Music-video historian and VJ Stephen Pitalo kicked off his 2016 residency at the lobster bar on Jan.8 with “Rock Lobster: Riff, Rock & Punk Edition,” which took partiers on a time

trip back to the ’80s and ’90s with a lot of killer guitar vids, guitar-god clips, and three-chord rock videos. Pair that with the tasty cocktails and seafood of Ambrose’s menus and you have a hot night on a cold evening. “I’m so excited to have this opportunity,” Pitalo told me. “Folks can expect AC/DC. The Clash, the Ramones. The Offspring, ZZ Top and more. From guitar boogie to three-chord jams, we'll be showing plenty of amped videos!” Pitalo has been collecting music videos since the genre made its debut in 1981 on MTV. “I have a database of more than 15,000 videos — everything from Led Zeppelin to Christopher Cross, up to what I consider the end of the golden age of music videos — 1993.” Pitalo, who grew up in Biloxi, Mississippi, and graduated LSU in journalism, began his audio fascination at age 10 with a Radio Shack tape recorder. He’s now the leading “music video historian,” in The Golden Age of Music Video (1976-1993). He gives speeches at festivals, colleges and other events on the topic. He also hosts a show on RadioFreeBrooklyn.com (first Sunday of each month at 4 pm), where he interviews musicians and music industry insiders who were around during those glory days. Pitalo and Ambrose promise lots of fun on first-Fridays this winter and spring, including themed drink specials, music memorabilia, photo ops, cool giveaways and even special guests. The next “Music Video Time Machine” will be at 7- 11 p.m. on Feb. 5: "Rock Lobster: Dance Break," featuring great ’80s and ’90s dance videos. DowntownExpress.com


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Treepocalypse! All arbors axed at 7 WTC park

BY ALI Z A CH A SA N More than three years later, Superstorm Sandy is still causing damage Downtown. The storm’s latest victims were the trees and shrubs of Silverstein Family Park in front of 7 World Trade Center, which were ripped out earlier this month after the salty storm surge killed their roots. Silverstein Properties cut down the dying trees and ripped out all the stumps and shrubs over the past week to prepare for a major replanting in the spring. In the meantime, the developer will be replacing the park’s lighting and irrigation system as well, as part of a $1-million renovation, according to Silverstein spokesman Dara McQuillan. “We’re putting so much effort into making the park a special place,” McQuillan said. More than 10,000 trees citywide were damaged by saltwater during the storm over three years ago, according to the Federal Emergency Management Agency. McQuillan said the park will receive

a shipment in April of 36 Aristocrat pear trees from New Jersey, which blossom with white flowers in the spring, and are known for being tolerant of salt damage and urban stress. The developer will also plant more than 200 azalea bushes and 600 flowering plants of various species, selected to be disease resistant, according to McQuillan. The 5,000-square-foot park between Greenwich St. and West Broadway — which features the distinctive, bright red Balloon Flower sculpture by Jeff Koons — is on land once occupied by the original 7 World Trade Center building. The new building’s narrower design, which cost it about 300,000 square feet of office space, left room for a park designed as a gateway to the new World Trade Center complex. Silverstein Family Park, which opened in May of 2006 along with the new 7 World Trade Center, was the first public space at the new complex. “It’s a park that I think most members of the community would agree is an important feature not just of Downtown, but of 7 World Trade Center as well,” McQuillan said.

Photo by Milo Hess

Silverstein Family Park lost all its greenery last week to make way for a $1-million renovation and new plantings in the spring.

THE DOWNTOWN CONNECTION IS YOUR FREE RIDE AROUND LOWER MANHATTAN!

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January 28 – February 10, 2016

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Dear Neighbor,

SIDEWALK STICKUP A man and a woman were held up at gunpoint in Soho shortly before midnight on Saturday Jan. 16, police say. The victims, who live on the Upper East and West Sides, were walking to the subway around 11:30 p.m. when they were stopped by two men in front of 143 Prince St., according to police. One of the men reportedly asked for the time and then pulled out a black firearm, demanding, “Give me your money.” His partner then grabbed the woman’s purse and searched her pockets, telling the victims: “Act cool…act normal.” The muggers, both in their 30s and around 5-foot-6, fled south on West Broadway and made off with $70 in cash, an iPhone 6, keys and various credit cards, the victims told police. The woman’s phone couldn’t be tracked and a search of the area turned up no results, but police are hoping a video from the art gallery next door might shed some light on the robbery.

LOCKER SHOCKER A man stepped out of the shower at an Equinox gym in the Financial District on Wednesday Jan. 20, to find his bag had been stolen out of his locker, according to police. The victim was working out at the gym on Murray St. and told police that he had securely locked away his stuff. But when he came back from the shower around 3:15 p.m. he noticed that the lock had been broken and his $100 bag, holding a $500 Montblanc wallet, sports clothes worth $150 and two credit cards, was gone, police said.

PHONE PINCHERS Two pairs of smartphone snatchers struck some unsuspecting visitors to Lower Manhattan. An upstate man locked his car and started walking along the Brooklyn Bridge footpath near City Hall just after midnight on Sunday Jan. 17, when two men rode up on bikes and snatched his Samsung Galaxy S6 phone out of his hand, according to police. The victim told police that one of the perps was wearing a wig. In a separate incident on Wednesday Jan. 20, police say a Chelsea woman sitting on a bench on the southeast corner of Grand St. and Sixth Ave. had her $600 iPhone 6 swiped by two thieves — whom she then chased through Hudson Square. At 12:33 p.m., a man approached the victim and asked for the time, according to police, and when she raised her phone to check, another man grabbed it and the DowntownExpress.com

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two snatchers ran off north on Sixth Ave. According to the report, the woman was hot on their heels when they turned onto Grand and then Varick St., but she lost sight of them after they passed Broome St.

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EXPENSIVE TASTE Two men swiped a luxury leather jacket from the Dior Homme store in Soho on Wednesday Jan. 20., according to police. One of the thieves reportedly took the $4,700 navy jacket off the display rack at the 133 Greene St. boutique around 4:30 p.m., hiding it under his own jacket as he walked out of the store. Police are looking for two men, both 5-foot-9, one with short black hair and a mustache and the other dressed in a waist-length green jacket.

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BEHIND HER BACK A Brooklyn woman got a surprise with her check when she had lunch in Soho, according to police. The victim was eating at the Dominique Ansel Bakery on Spring St. on Sunday Jan. 17, with her purse zipped up on the chair behind her. When she turned around to grab it around 3 p.m., she noticed that it was open and her wallet was gone — complete with credit and insurance cards, an unlimited Metrocard and $20 in cash.

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— Yannic Rack SECOND CHOICE A robbery victim wouldn’t give up her ring, so the thief settled for some cash. On Tuesday Jan. 12, a man — described as 5-foot-6 — went into Ayouwan Grocery on Church St. in Tribeca at 10:55 p.m brandishing a knife, according to police. He first demanded a gold ring from a 53-year-old woman. When she refused, he said, “Give me money.” Police say a male employee, 61, then opened the cash register and handed the suspect $750.

SMARTPHONE SNATCH Smartphone envy can be motivating: two men ripped off three of them — worth over $2,000 — from an AT&T store, police say. An employee told police it took the two thieves one minute to come into the store at 217 Broadway on Saturday Jan. 16 at 4:18 p.m., pull the three cells from their security wire and jet. Police say they snatched a $650 iPhone 6S, a $750 iPhone 6S Plus and a $714 Samsung SG Edge.

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Sandy relief still available BY PA U L L I O T TA Some local businesses are still struggling to recover from Superstorm Sandy — and fortunately, there’s still a chance to apply for help. The window to apply for low-interest recovery loans from the federal Small Business Administration officially closed in July of 2013, but a new law pushed by local pols reopened the process in December last year, and extended the deadline to Dec. 1, 2016. “While we have made significant progress in our recovery, many businesses and homeowners continue feeling economic and physical damages inflicted by Sandy,” said Congresswoman NydiaVelázquez, a co-sponsor whose district covers hard-hit areas of Lower Manhattan and Brooklyn. “By reopening the S.B.A.’s disaster loan program and encouraging more businesses to apply, we can help our communities fully heal from this historic catastrophe.” The agency has already awarded more than $8.5 million in loans since the program reopened, according to S.B.A. spokesman Michael Peacock. Velázquez said that $3.4 million of that went to businesses in New York City, and encouraged more local businesses and homeowners to apply. “It is important that New Yorkers know these resources are available,” Velázquez said. “If you are a business owner, renter or homeowner who gave up on the process previously, I suggest you reapply for assistance this year to be made whole.” Velázquez said that one reason many people never completed the application process immediately following the storm was the daunting bureaucratic process. A Government Accountability

FLOOD MONEY Continued from page 5

its southern tip. Proposals also call for flood-proofing public housing developments, and integrating the water barriers into plazas, parks and retail areas. The mayor and city officials have emphasized that sections of both projects will go online before all of the work is completed, but Downtowners are eager to finally see results. “The anxiety is there until protection is in place,” said state Sen. Daniel Squadron. After Sandy flooded subways and swamped apartment houses and office buildings in Lower Manhattan, archi-

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January 28 – February 10, 2016

Photo by K.C.Wilsey / FEMA

The federal Small Business Administration recently reopened the application process for low-interest Sandy recovery loans.

Office report requested by the congresswoman after Sandy found that the S.B.A. was taking as long as 45 days even to decide whether an applicant would be eligible for aid. She said reforms put in place since then have reduced the overall processing time to just 11 days for businesses and eight days for homeowners. Peacock said the best way to improve the application process is to stop by one of their offices to speak with a representative who can help make sure all the necessary information is included in the application.

“This is about trying to approve as many people as possible,” Peacock said. “The more complete the application, the better chance you have.” The S.B.A.’s Manhattan Disaster Loan Outreach Center is located at the offices of the New York Business Development Corp. at 5 Hanover Sq. in the Financial District. The loans are for as much as $2 million for small businesses, up to $200,000 for homeowners, and $40,000 for personal property recovery. But some Downtown business owners still reeling from Sandy’s dev-

astation say that the S.B.A. loan-application deadline extension is too little, too late. Adam Weprin, the owner of Bridge Café in the Seaport has been trying to get his Water St. business back on its feet since the storm swamped it in 2012. After several false starts, he hopes to finally reopen in March, but he said that for any businesses still struggling, the last they need now is to be saddled with more debt. “We don’t need loans after something as big as Sandy,” Weprin said. “What we need right now are grants.”

tects and engineers came up with a comprehensive flood prevention system for a continuous 10-mile stretch of shoreline, spanning all the way from West 57th St. south to The Battery and up to East 42th St. This “Big U” design of barriers and berms was drawn up for the first federal competition but only represented a concept, according to the city. The current two proposals, which complement each other, cover less of the island — Battery Park City is included in the city’s RFP for Lower Manhattan Protect and Connect, but Tribeca is not. “We had to fight to make sure that even Battery Park City was included,”

said Hughes, adding that the city now needs to start implementing real measures. “A line on paper is going to get you nowhere when there’s rising tides.” For some Downtown residents, the need for flood protection came into sharp focus once again when historic snowfall from last weekend’s winter storm raised the water level in Lower Manhattan. Marco Pasanella, a Sandy survivor who lives near the waterline on South St., said he was nervously watching the river over the weekend. “The whole beach under the Brooklyn Bridge was submerged on Saturday,” he said later. “It just

reminds you, ‘Oh my god, not this again.’ It was scary.” When Sandy struck, the wine store he runs on the building’s ground floor was flooded with more than six feet of water. Pasanella said the high tide over the weekend came within just a few inches of breaching the pier bulkhead in the Seaport, which would once again have sent water cascading into the street. “It reminds me, as excited as I am about the long term prospects of this money, we’re just s--- out of luck right now,” Pasanella said. “It’s almost four years after Sandy, and I’m just as vulnerable as I was the day before.” DowntownExpress.com


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Downtown snow daze Historic snow makes for epic fun in a Lower Manhattan wonderland All photos by Milo Hess

Last weekend's much-hyped winter storm did not disappoint — dumping more than two feet of snow on the city, and nearly breaking the all-time recored set in 2006. The snow forced the mayor to close city roads to all civilian traffic on Saturday, but by Sunday, the sun was out — and so were Downtowners ready for some long-awaited winter fun. (1) Spencer Kleinman, 8, does his best to help his dad Neil dig out their car buried in more than two feet of snow on Harrision St. (2) Tribeca’s newest resident showed up Sunday in Washington Market Park. (3) This undaunted Tribecan valiantly attempts to excavate his car after it was buried twice — once by the forces of nature, and the again by the all-powerful plows of the the city Dept. of Sanitation. (4) Four-year-old Lucy Thiede munched a warm bagel to fuel a day of snowy fun as she eagerly waited for Washington Market Park to open on Sunday morning after the historic snowfall. (5) These Citi Bikes on Greenwich St. weren’t going anywhere Sunday. (6) There were no hills available in Washington Market Park, but the kids made do with parent-powered sledding. (7) The snowfall created a surreal scene at a Washington Market Park mural.

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January 28 – February 10, 2016

DowntownExpress.com


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NEW SCHOOL Continued from page 1

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January 28 – February 10, 2016

and built, and we’ll be doing everything necessary to make sure we stay ahead of all the potential issues,” she said. The Greenwich St. school, which will have an entrance on Trinity Pl., will be included within the new mixeduse development planned for the site of the former Syms discount clothing store between Rector and Edgar Sts., south of the World Trade Center. The plan for the school is expected to be finalized by this summer, according to the School Construction Authority and the developer said the project will be complete in 2019. “We’re very happy to hear the news,” said Wendy Chapman, a co-founder of the advocacy group Build Schools Now. “But of course we have concerns. We have seen how dire the population growth is, we’re going to hope that the Deptartment of Education and the S.C.A. give the community input as to what the final outcome of this school is.” Chapman said she would like to see the school expanded to include a middle school, spanning grades K-8, or at least increase the number of seats — which she emphasized is always cheaper than building another school later on. “More is always better,” she said. “My feeling is get the whole thing, if you’re going to build out a space. The needs will continue — they’re not going to slow down. Downtown is only going to become more popular.” The community was originally promised 1,000 more school seats for Downtown back in 2013, a full two years after locals launched their push for a new school to serve the booming area. But just a few months later, the D.O.E. effectively cut that Downtown commitment by more than half when it located over 500 of those promised seats to Hudson Square instead, Joyce said — which is technically within the same sprawling school district that stretches all the way from the Financial District to the Upper East Side — but did nothing to address the population surge Downtown. Then it took the city almost another three years to find a location in the Financial District. “This is the school that we determined the need for in 2010, and it will not be built until almost 10 years later because of the process the D.O.E. operates with,” Joyce said. “It just doesn’t work.” Joyce and Hovitz think that the model the D.O.E. uses to predict school need is deeply flawed, and actually masks Lower

Manhattan’s residential influx because the area is lumped in with much of the rest of the borough. “Our growth is offset by other neighborhoods’ negative growth, and as a result they are not planning enough school seats,” Joyce said. Another issue that remains unresolved is whether — and where — the new school will “incubate” — the Dept. of Education’s term for setting up a new school in an alternate location while its permanent site is under construction. Peck Slip School, Downtown’s most recent educational addition, spent three years incubating at the Dept. of Education’s headquarters at Tweed Courthouse on Chambers St. before it opened last fall at 1 Peck Slip. Classes for PS 276 and Spruce Street School were also taught there before construction on their permanent facilities was finished. But a pre-K center moved into the Tweed classrooms last September, so it’s unclear whether there will be space available to incubate the Greenwich St. school before its building is complete. The Dept. of Education did not respond to questions about incubation plans. Some also worry that the school will be built with a ‘gymnatorium’ — a gym that can be turned into an auditorium — like the one built at Peck Slip School, rather than separate full-size facilities. “It’s impractical,” said Theseus Roche, director of after-school activities at Manhattan Youth, which provides after-school programming at all of Downtown’s elementary schools. “You can get away with it on most school days...but after school, our programs commit to making sure that every kid is running around every day, and we really maximize those gym spaces.” This week, the site’s owner, Trinity Place Holdings — the new, real estate-focused incarnation of the bankrupt former Syms Corporation — released plans for the mixed-use development set to host the school. The 500-foot tower will include about 85 luxury condominiums and 7,000 square feet of ground-floor retail on Greenwich St., in addition to the long-awaited school. “We are proud to be a part of bringing a much needed new public school to Lower Manhattan,” said Trinity Place Holdings head Matthew Messinger in a statement announcing the plans. Construction will begin this year, according to Messinger, and is set for completion in 2019. As part of the development, the company will also seek permission from the city’s Landmarks Preservation DowntownExpress.com


Rendering by DBOx

Trinity Place Holdings plans to begin construction this year on this 500-foot luxury condominium tower at the site of the former Syms clothing store at 42 Trinity Pl. The lower floors will host a new, 476-seat elementary school when it is completed in 2019.

Commission to make changes to the 19th-century Robert and Anne Dickey House right next to the old Syms store. The S.C.A. said that the landmarked building could form part of the elementary school. Joyce and Hovitz think many in the community might support giving the developer concessions for the overall building height in exchange for an even larger school — or even a middle school expansion that would cover preK through eighth grade. “If it means going five extra stories to get five extra floors for the school, then we don’t have the luxury of turning that down right now,” Joyce said. But she said it shouldn’t have to come to cutting deals with developers if the city only got its act together in terms of school planning. “If they can’t afford to build schools because of the real estate prices, then they need to admit it and partner with developers,” she said. “Unless they start planning infrastructure along with these developments, they’re never going to be able to DowntownExpress.com

keep pace with this population growth.” In fact, a larger school on the lower floors could actually be a boon for the developer, as suggested by one of the selling points Messinger touted in his announcement. “What makes the residential component unique is that all condominium residences will start at an elevation of 150 feet, sitting above the school,” he said, “allowing for panoramic views of New York Harbor, the Hudson River as well as the New York City skyline from every home in the building.” So a bigger school could mean even better views. The mayor recently announced that he is earmarking $868 million in his preliminary budget for 2017 to tackle school overcrowding through the S.C.A.’s fiveyear capital plan — money that will add 11,800 school seats to create a total of 44,000 new ones across the city. Joyce is pleased by the funding, but jaded by past experience. She knows that with the school construction bureaucracy, money is useless until it’s part of a capital plan, which itself takes years to implement — all while the Downtown population continues to surge. “The funding is a great first step,” said Joyce. “The problem is the capital plan is five years in front of us. It’s a mute point by then.” Last month, Borough President Gale Brewer and Councilmember Margaret Chin announced that that they would team up with other elected officials and community leaders to continue the work of the School Overcrowding Task Force set up by former Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver, after the fate of the panel was thrown into question by his conviction on federal corruption charges last year. The first meeting of the reconfigured task force will be Feb. 5, and Hovitz said one of its top priorities going forward will be to push the Dept. of Education to improve the population-growth models it uses to predict future needs. Based on CB1’s latest population report, Lower Manhattan can expect a 10 percent population increase over the next year, far more that the D.O.E. is planning for. “They really need to change their method,” Hovitz said. “We know from experience that their prediction does not hold up.” Joyce emphasized that now was the time to press the city for changes to the plan, before a design was finalized. “Let’s make sure to do this well this time,” she said. “We can not afford to mess this up.”

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15


EDITORIAL

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January 28 – February 10, 2016

To the Editor, Regarding your story “Fate of WTC Sphere keeps turning,” (Jan.14 issue), the reason a spokesperson for the memorial foundation declined to comment on the “debate” about returning the WTC Sphere to the WTC memorial is because there is no debate. It is like arguing the fate of the USS Arizona. Should it be part of the USS Arizona Memorial? Imagine if the architect of that design said it’s perfect, it’s beautiful; now get rid of the ship. How do you deny the Sphere, battered and torn in the attacks but the last remaining intact artifact of the WTC, a place of respect and honor at the National September 11 Memorial at the WTC? How do you deny the millions who visit the memorial the opportunity, the right to see it – at the place it stood and survived the attacks – and appreciate its “beauty and power?” —as Foundation President Joe Daniels described the Survivor Tree when it was restored to the site. So, let’s see; Survivor Tree stood on the site for 30 years; survived attacks; nursed back to health; as per Daniels and Foundation Chairman Michael Bloomberg, must be returned so all memorial visitors can see it there. The Sphere? Stood on the site for 30 years, survived the attacks, carefully salvaged from site. Cannot be returned. No one is allowed to see it there. Makes sense. And that’s why the memorial spokesperson declined to comment. Because he did not want to sound like an idiot. Because the Foundation has no remotely coherent reason for its refusal to return the Sphere. There is one place for the Sphere and that is the National September 11 Memorial at the World Trade Center. The general public, including Downtowners, have overwhelmingly called for that, even before a final memorial design was chosen. 9/11 families have overwhelmingly called for that; 9/11 survivors have called for that. The Executive Director of the Port Authority has called for it. The Battery Conservancy has called for it. The Koenig Foundation from Germany has called for it. Truth, memory and duty calls for it. Only the intransigence of a handful of memorial foundation officials blocks it. This is an outrage and an affront to the people and ideals the Foundation is supposed to serve. Finally and once and for all, return the Sphere. If the Foundation won’t, then it is time for Gov. Cuomo to step in and get it done. Michael Burke Head of “Save the Sphere,” Burke lost his firefighter brother, Capt. William F. Burke, Jr., on 9/11. His brother’s rig, Engine 21, is an exhibit in the National September 11 Museum. To the Editor, I don’t it find a surprise to hear that the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey still refused to put back the Sphere,

Posted To COUNCIL BAILS ON “EVACUATION DAY PLAZA” AND SNUBS DOWNTOWN HISTORY (JAN. 11) This is one of the most important Revolutionary War sites in the City if not the country. When John Van Arsdale raised the 13 star American flag at Bowling Green on November 25, 1783, it marked the end of the American Revolution and the beginning of the new United States and democracy internationally. This could and should be one of the most important historical tourism attractions in the country. The City Council, which has always been considered a bastion of democracy in

designed by Fritz Koeing, back at the World Trade Center site (“Fate of WTC Sphere keeps turning,” Jan. 14 issue). I feel that the main reason is the fact that it’s a remnant of the original World Trade Center and it would serve as a reminder to just that, which might also explain why the survivor’s staircase and what was left of the Westfield Mall was removed from there as well during the years of clearing out the place. Perhaps, they would be afraid of people looking at the Sphere that was once part of the plaza that stood by the Twin Towers and might constantly ask why the Twin Towers weren’t just rebuilt instead of what wound up there, especially from those who knew why it was there in the first place. What’s even more interesting is that they don’t even seem to want it to be placed in the 9/11 Museum. Tal Barzilai Pleasantville, NY To the Editor, Be it this weeks issue, or countless other ones, doesn’t anyone get the point: WE are the problem with a lack of local representation and responsiveness on the BPCA board (“Board games” Jan. 14 issue). Politicians of all stripes know one fundamental thing about “The People’s Democratic Voters of Lower Manhattan” — it overwhelmingly votes Democrat, and unless one retires or is convicted, though complaining about results and character, re-elects the same tired faces. A Republican governor will ignore us since we never vote for him, and conversely a Democrat governor knows we will vote for him reflexively no matter what he does and has no urgency to listen. It brings to mind a definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. One thing about politicians: they know how to read the tea leaves, and they and their cronies “yes” us to death as they laugh at our gullibility. Think they would all notice if at the next primary all local pols were voted out, and on a state level, in close elections where every vote counts, the thousands of voters in Lower Manhattan said “no, not this time?” On Sept. 17, 1990, amidst over 2,000 murders, graffiti, and an exodus of the middle class, NYC made the cover of “Time” magazine as the “Rotten Apple” as it proclaimed the death of big cities. An ineffectual Mayor voted out after generations of one party rule, a new Mayor with fresh ideas, and before his first term was over that same “Time” magazine proclaimed the Big Apple and American cities were back. It can happen that quickly, but only if people take the time and effort, and have the courage and conviction, to appreciate our democratic process which they abuse now by their lack of forethought. John Brindisi

this City, should be enthusiastically supporting our efforts to promote it and teach New Yorkers about the importance of our Revolutionary War history. Instead they appear to be impeding those efforts with a bunch of bureaucratic gobbledy gook. We call on all patriotic citizens of Lower Manhattan and New York City to protest. James S. Kaplan, President Lower Manhattan Historical Society I agree. Why wouldn't the City Council approve this? It's positive, instructive, unifying. Heck; it could even be profitable in the long run. Senseless. Hey, City Council, let's get our act together and make this happen. Sheesh. Michael Burke DowntownExpress.com


Posted To

One might think that the council is honoring downtown history by refusing to add another co-name to Bowling Green. Co-names are a rather silly way to commemorate things in general, and Evacuation Day deserves better. Better to find something to rename in honor of Evacuation Day! I love the Evacuation Day events and Downtown NY. Bruce Gomes The City Council has a policy of approving "local initiatives". That is, the councilmembers routinely accede to another member's request out of "professional courtesy." The refusal to co-name the street is yet another indication of the low esteem in which other councilmembers hold our representative, Margaret Chin. Betsy Ross

FATE OF WTC SPHERE KEEPS TURNING (JAN. 14) The inspiring Sphere, which was commissioned and dedicated to World Peace at its inception, took on far more significance when it survived the crashing towers. How ironic that it has not been able to withstand the crushing Ground Zero bureaucracy. Who made Michael Bloomberg and Co. God? What is the National September 11 Memorial and Museum Foundation? Its primary function was to raise the money to fund the construction, which it only partially succeeded in doing. So what gives it/ them the right to dictate what belongs on the site? Who gave them/it the power to banish this authentic part of OUR history from its rightful place of honor? And when are we going to take that power back? ML Donovan It's disgraceful that the sphere has still not been returned to its rightful place after all these years of obstruction and foot dragging. Bloomberg's appointed elitist bunch is out of touch with the wishes and concerns of the majority of family members of victims and first responders who actually performed the rescue and recovery, as well as New York residents. Their attitude is why should these groups be consulted when we know what’s best for everyone. Take it easy on the September 11 Museum and Memorial hierarchy of Daniels and Greenwald though. its tough to live on a $8,000 a week salary and be able to keep your attention DowntownExpress.com

on what is important when you are just scraping by. Joseph McAuley The Sphere has been denied a place at the memorial because it would create a visible physical reminder of the former WTC. Keeping the site "pure" means that physical reminders must not be present unless something is there to obscure or limit it. So a majority of the reminders need to be hid away from plain sight, and they couldn't get the Sphere anywhere underground, so it is not welcome to the site it used to be a part of. The new WTC is the original "Safe Space" where the ideas and opinions of the general public are filtered out and those of the or favoring the elite are the only ones that actually exist. Democracy isn't welcome here. This is strictly ruled by the PANYNJ: Enron without Consequences. Joshua I am thrilled to learn that the Port Authority has not turned its back on the sphere! If the Memorial planners could find a way to incorporate the "Survivor's Tree" then there should be a place for the Sphere. The Sphere, a work of art that stood firmly next to the towers, is an icon for the thousands of people that walked into the WTC every day. And as it survived, by some miracle, it is only fitting that it be returned to it's original location - watching over the footprints of the WTC Memorial. It survived horrific destruction. It has earned the right to be placed next to the resting place of our family members and the memorial. The 9/11 family members would be ever so appreciative to the Port Authority and the 9/11 Memorial if they could please honor this surviving sculpture with the other important relics of the WTC site. Jane G H

FINALLY! A NEW ELEMENTARY SCHOOL FOR FIDI (JAN. 17) Never satisfied! Downtown has 6 new schools, best infrastructure in NYC; and they refuse to let anyone from Chinatown share the space.... Jason Lester I'm glad that finally something may be done to reuse the landmarked Dickey House, which has sat vacant for too long. Joseph Svehlak

Cheering for Cheetos: Burning off those Super Bowl snacks BY L EN ORE SKEN AZY It is a cruel joke that the Super Bowl comes just a little over a month after we have resolved to forsake all wings, chips, dip, pizza, soda, beer, cheese sticks, Cheez-Its, Cheetos, and anything else that is bright orange and vaguely food-like. Ha. That’s why every year at about this time, the press turns its hungry eyes to Charles Platkin, a.k.a. The Diet Detective, a.k.a. Hunter College distinguished lecturer, to give us some of his trademark “equivalencies.” For instance: To work off the calories of a 1-foot Italian sub sandwich would require you to walk the entire length of the Brooklyn Bridge — 14 times. That’s a Dr. Platkin equivalency. So are these: Four swigs of Bud Light equals eight minutes of playing pro football. One handful of pita chips with artichoke dip equals running 141 football fields. Working off one measly Cheeto — one! — equals chanting and waving around a foam hand for two minutes. And God forbid you scarf down four Domino’s stuffed cheesy bacon jalapeno breadsticks — that requires 193 touchdown dances. So how did Platkin, a lawyer, publisher, technologist, real estate guy, and bestselling author, become obsessed with translating calories into everyday (and sports-watching related) activities? It all started when he was young — and tubby. “I remember my doctor saying, ‘You’re not going to have a good social life, because you’re fat,’” says Platkin. “And I was like, ‘You don’t know what you’re talking about.’ But the truth was, I was ostracized as a child.” He was still overweight in early adulthood when he decided to write a book on how to truly change your life. This was after he’d gotten the law degree, but still was floundering — and single. “I was confused. I was thinking about changing behavior. I was overweight and had terrible relationships.” So, for three years, he researched how real behavior change happens. He was finally ready to hand in his manuscript when he realized, “I hadn’t changed one behavior of my own!” So he decided to actually follow his own advice and, at last, he started losing weight. He also realized that the fact he ended up “with difficult and strange kinds of women” had an underlying cause: Him.

“I’d always thought it was random.” Changing required that word we hear so often lately: mindfulness. He had to pay attention to what he ate, and when. (And who he dated, and why.) He also had to stop feeling too embarrassed to ask for things like a plain grilled chicken breast when he went out to eat. In other words, he had to stop being ashamed to admit he knew he was fat and wanted to lose weight. He folded his stories into the book and it became the bestseller, “Breaking the Pattern.” The great thing about mindfulness, Platkin says, is that you don’t have to be mindful forever. “If you had to Google Map every day to figure out what floor your office is on,” that would be painful. (And you would need some other kind of help.) But after a short while, of course, you know the drill. It’s the same with figuring out what your food patterns are. And once you notice that every night, right before bed, you eat a bowl of Ben & Jerry’s, well then, all you have to do is start figuring out a “food swap” — an alternative. For Platkin, he started making swaps just like the ones you can make on Super Bowl Sunday: Toasted pita points instead of chips. Pizza without the mozzarella — add your own Parmesan. Slow-churned Breyers instead of Ben & Jerry’s. The idea is to concentrate not on what you can’t have, but on what you can. And since we gobble down many foods without realizing just how fattening they are, he popularized the “equivalencies.” FYI: One bowl of chili equals more than an hour of cheerleading. These days Platkin is married and has a daughter. One day a couple years ago he was walking her to school and saw her holding her tummy in. He asked why. Well, of course she was practicing looking skinny. “I just want you to know that you don’t ever have to worry about dieting or any of these things,” he told his daughter. Life is not about forsaking. It’s about embracing who you are and what you love. So long as it’s not Domino’s Stuffed Cheesy Bacon Jalapeno Breadsticks. Lenore Skenazy is a keynote speaker and author and founder of the book and blog Free-Range Kids. January 28 – February 10, 2016

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Gay Art Goes Bigger Leslie-Lohman Museum to nearly double in size this spring

LESLIE LOHMAN MUSEUM OF GAY ART

MON IKER/ LESLIE LOHMAN MUSEUM OF GAY ART

B Y KE L SY CH A U V IN tion. With the wall between buildings 26 and 28 soon to It may seem hard to believe, but it’s been nearly be knocked down, the significantly larger square footage a half-century since Charles Leslie and Fritz Lohman will allow for dedicated offices on the corner of Wooster hosted their first art exhibit. Little did they know that the and Grand, where the work of the Leslie-Lohman Gay Art gay art show mounted in their Prince Street loft in 1969 Foundation can be better conducted on premises. would lay the groundwork for a niche cultural institution An improved visitor greeting area will remain in its that continues to get bigger and better. current location, and no longer double as staff work spacThis spring, the Leslie-Lohman Museum of Gay and es. A bigger book and gift shop, small kitchen, additional Lesbian Art (leslielohman.org) will take another huge restroom, and equipment-storage rooms will be added step with an expansion that will almost double its cur- too, while the Wooster Street Window Gallery will extend rent size of 3,300 square feet. Its present location at 26 nearly up to Grand Street. Wooster Street will take over the attached corner retail Apart from adjunct spaces, much of the new showspace at No. 28 in March. Pending construction timing, room will house the Marion Pinto Gallery, named for the the additional showroom could open as soon as April. SoHo artists’ district pioneer. Her work comprised the “It seemed it was a natural move for us. It first one-woman show ever mounted at the LeslieU will allow us to expand in a gradual, controlled Lohman Gallery back in 1975, entitled “Man As A RO ND fashion, while at the same time make many A Sex Object.” Pinto famously painted the dual facility-related improvements,” said museum nude of Fritz Lohman and Charles Leslie that director Hunter O’Hanian. “This will give us hung in Bologna’s Museo d’Arte Moderna years many important gains.” later, in the exhibition “Il Nudo.” Top among those improvements are two key programPinto donated her life’s work to the Leslie-Lohman ming changes. The first is that a larger space allows the Museum. It’s in good company with works by queer artmuseum to exhibit pieces from its massive collection of ists as varied as Berenice Abbott, David Hockney, Keith more than 24,000 works. That goal is a long time com- Haring, Andy Warhol, George Platt Lynes, Jean Cocteau, ing, especially considering that some of its queer-centric Del LaGrace Volcano, Robert Mapplethorpe, Deborah art has never been exhibited. Additionally, by having two Bright, David Wojnarowicz, and many others. galleries, the museum will no longer have to close while A greater slate of community events, seminars, and exhibits are installed and deinstalled. educational programs also will be ushered in. The second programming advancement is perhaps “The expansion will help us as we move forward even more significant, because it elevates Leslie-Lohman’s in developing an educational program,” said Jonathan visibility and mission. David Katz, the president of the museum’s board of “We will continue building a destination museum directors. “We already have the most robust queer arts with a dedicated LGBTQ focus on par with other small, speaker and tour program in New York, but this expanexcellent museums in New York, like the Studio Museum sion will allow us to expand those efforts even more.” of Harlem, El Museo del Barrio, the Rubin, or the Jewish Currently, the museum is hosting its final exhibiMuseum,” said O’Hanian. tion before renovation begins. “Medium of Desire: An Before Leslie-Lohman evolved into an accredited, International Anthology of Photography and Video” 501(c)3 non-profit museum in 2011, the gallery was was curated by art historian and board member Peter limited in its ability to borrow relevant works from other Weiermair and opened in December. institutions and individuals. The forthcoming expansion Under the “desire” theme, the work of 14 artists on allows for new storage areas that better meet the typical display represent a range of styles, “from documentation storage requirements for works borrowed from presti- to elaborately staged photo shoots,” said O’Hanian. gious establishments like the Smithsonian, the Library of Works by famous photographers like Catherine Opie Congress, the New York Public Library, and the Fine Arts and Greg Gorman join those by less-established artists, Museums of San Francisco. including some international ones for whom this exhibit Anyone familiar with the existing SoHo museum marks their US debut. knows that the reception desk and tiny gift shop, though “In looking at these works, we see the expression well designed for the space, are limited in size and func- of desire between those depicted in the images,” said

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January 28 – February 10, 2016

DIMITRIS YEROS & THROCKMORTON FINE ART/ NEW YORK

(Above) Dimitris Yeros’ “With HisThoughts on Bulgaria,” 2015, inkjet print, 15 x 10 in., part of the Medium of Desire: An International Anthology of Photography and Video” exhibition at Leslie-Lohman. (Top right) A floor plan of the expanded museum. (Top left) The corner of Wooster Street and Grand Street where the LeslieLohman Museum of Gay and Lesbian Art will expand to from its current location at 26 Wooster.

Weiermair. “Then, in other works we see the desire between the artists and their subjects. In many instances, as we witness this desire, it evokes our own feelings, regardless of our individual perspective.” There is no word yet on what exhibits or artists will open the expanded Leslie-Lohman Museum come spring. But we can be sure they will be both insightful and provocative and continue the mission, “to exhibit and preserve art that speaks directly to the many aspects of the LGBTQ experience, and foster the artists who create it.” Charles and Fritz would have it no other way.

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January 28 – February 10, 2016

19


MURDOCH TO DOWNTOWN:

DROP DEAD Rupert Murdoch’s Fox and News Corp have bailed on their much-ballyhooed plans to move their headquarters to 2 World Trade Center, the companies revealed on Jan. 15. The mercurial media mogul is turning his nose up at the $43-million package of sweeteners, financed by the landlord and the public, arranged last month to lure the two media companies from their Midtown offices to become anchor tenants of the final tower of the new World Trade Center complex. Like many doomed romances, the courtship of Murdoch by developer Larry Silverstein began with such promise. Last June, the parties signed a non-binding letter of intent for 1.3 million square feet of space in the unbuilt tower, setting the media abuzz. A month later, architectural wunderkind Bjarke Ingels added to the engagement’s glamor with a dazzling new design. Then, in December, the Port Authority ponied up $9 million in subsidies, to go along with $15 million in tax credits from Empire State Development and a $19-million rent discount from Silverstein Properties meant to seal the marriage in a 30-year lease for 1.5-million square feet at 2 WTC. But two weeks ago, Murdoch’s New York Post reported that its parent company, News Corp, and 21st Century Fox had gotten cold feet, abandoning Silverstein at the altar. "We have concluded that a relocation project of this scope could be distracting

in the near-term and, given the scale of investment in a relocation of this size, that our resources would be better directed elsewhere," the company said in a statement to employees, according to the Post. The media companies’ current lease at their Midtown headquarters runs to 2020, with an option to extend to 2025. The World Trade Center complex has attracted several other media companies, including Condé Nast, and the News Corp/ Fox move had been widely touted as definitive proof that Downtown had become the new center of New York’s media industry. More importantly, two companies were also to be the critical anchor tenants for 2 WTC — the last tower of the new World Trade Center complex that remains unbuilt — unlocking the financing required to complete the rebuilding of the complex after its destruction in the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001. “Two World Trade Center really is the last piece of the puzzle for our organization. We’ve been at this as long as many of you have — for 14 years. It was always a bit of a question mark because we didn’t have the financing,” Silverstein spokesman Dara McQuillan told Community Board 1 at a meeting in July to unveil Ingels’s new design soon after Fox and News Corp tentatively signed on. “Two World Trade Center couldn’t get building unless we had a tenant. And we needed a big tenant.” Murdoch’s withdrawal once again throws the future of 2 WTC, and thus the entire project of rebuilding the Port Authority-owned World Trade Center site

NEIGHBORS Continued from page 2

in the neighborhood this year alone, that same report predicts a population surge in 2016 of 7 percent — roughly 5,300 new residents — the largest single-year jump in recent history. Kennell, who is president of his co-op board on John Street, as well as a member of CB1, said that kind of increase could be crippling for area schools that are already struggling to find space for students. Kennell said the city has addressed overcrowding so far with “Band-Aids” — such as shifting students from the Battery Park City School to Tribeca’s PS 234, and holding regular classes in art and music rooms — but is short on permanent solutions. Chin agrees that, despite the opening of Peck Slip School at the South Street Seaport last year and recently announced plans for another, 476-seat elementary

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January 28 – February 10, 2016

Rendering by DBOX

Bjarke Ingels’s design for 2 WTC will have to wait, now that News Corp and 21st Century Fox have backed out as anchor tenants for the last unbuilt tower of the new World Trade Center complex.

after 9/11, back into question. But Silverstein, who stood by his own commitment to the World Trade Center after signing a 99-year lease for the complex just two months before it was destroyed, maintains a steadfast optimism.

school on Greenwich St., more space is necessary to meet the needs of the Financial District’s growing residential population. She recently teamed up with Borough President Gale Brewer and other elected officials to revive the School Overcrowding Task Force originally formed by former Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver after its fate was thrown into doubt by his conviction last year on federal corruption charges. “As is the case almost everywhere in Manhattan, available space downtown is precious,” Chin said. “But I am still determined to find a way to get another school built. Even with two new elementary schools at Peck Slip and Spruce Street opening in the last few years, along with another one at Trinity on the way, it is clear that the [School Overcrowding] Task Force still has much more work to do.” Kennell said the new neighborhood association is

“Make no mistake: it won’t be long before we find a great company to anchor 2 World Trade Center,” he said in a statement. “We at Silverstein Properties remain 100 percent committed to successfully completing this historic rebuilding effort.”

also interested pushing the storm-resiliency projects coming to Lower Manhattan. He said that organizing the voices of people who actually live in the area can amplify and humanize the call to action. “The residents of the Financial District and their Neighborhood Association can louden the chorus and provide deeply personal viewpoints on the importance of resiliency hardening measures,” he said. “We know there is more work to do.” For Kennell, the resiliency debate proves an old adage: with a great neighborhood comes great responsibility. “One of the many great features of the Financial District is our neighborhood’s access to the waterfront.” he said. “But that comes with a responsibility to advocate for the protection of all of our investments in this great neighborhood in the case of another major storm surge.” DowntownExpress.com


TRANSIT SAM Thurs., Jan. 28 – Wed., Feb. 3 ALTERNATE SIDE PARKING RULES ARE SUSPENDED THURSDAY, FRIDAY, AND SATURDAY Blizzard gridlock bonanza! The historic 26.8-inch snow drop means that alternate side parking rules are suspended through the weekend. They will resume Monday, February 1. While the snow is still around (but melting quickly with sunny skies) be sure to leave extra commuting time and remember: the best way to avoid crashes in inclement weather is to give everyone a “brake” and slow down! Be careful as pedestrians navigate many of the not-yet-cleared crosswalks in the city. Check 311 for the most recent Alternate Side Parking Rule updates. Thanks to the storm, several scheduled weekend closures and events, including the march for Bernie Sanders, have been rescheduled for this coming weekend. Downtown will now “Feel the Bern” of traffic 3 p.m. Saturday (1/30). Closures will be at the NYPD’s discretion. The route will go southbound on

Broadway between 14th St. and Ann. St., Ann St. between Broadway and Nassau St., Ceder St. between Nassau St. and Broadway, finally dispersing inside Zucotti Park. Another closure pushed off for this upcoming weekend: A road closure in Upper Manhattan means more traffic on the West Side Highway. For 53 consecutive hours, 12 a.m. Saturday to 5 a.m. Monday, the ramp from the George Washington Bridge to the Harlem River Drive will be closed. This means much more traffic on the Henry Hudson Parkway to the West Side Highway southbound especially leading to the Battery Tunnel. Watch for extra traffic leading up to the Holland Tunnel during the next two weeks as load-in starts for fashion week. Preparation for the big event will make for slowdowns on the following streets on the West Side Highway and Washington St. between Spring and West Houston Sts., Greenwich St. between Spring and Clarkson Sts., and West Houston between West and Greenwich Sts.

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Indecisive imbibers will have their work cut out for them at Gristedes's South End Avenue store in Battery Park City. The newly renovated location massively expanded the grocery chain's flagship refrigerated beer room to accommodate what it now claims to be the widest selection of ales and lagers in the neighborhood. “Whether it’s for a party, a blizzard, a hard-working resident just looking to relax after a long day’s work, or the Super Bowl, we have your beer of choice available,” said Gristedes C.E.O. John Catsimatidis. The chilly chamber now boasts more than 200 different pale ales, brown ales, IPA’s, stouts, bitteres, wheat beers, and pilasters. Some of the recently added varieties include Snake Dog IPA, Franziskaner Weissbier, Goose Island Honkers Ale, Prohibition Ale, and Lagunitas Maximus. The expansion was prompted by steadily increasing beer sales at the Battery Park City location, and costumer feedback gathered before the renovations in late 2014.

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January 28 – February 10, 2016

21


So much more than killing monsters

Narrative video games of note in 2016

the history of these characters and their worlds. In Team Ico’s next game, “The Last Guardian,” players control a human boy who befriends Trico — a giant bird/dog/cat monster. The two of them will need each other’s help to escape a crumbling castle. Because Trico is a giant animal that doesn't speak, players will have to figure out how to give him instructions, and read his body language to guess what he wants. The game has no definite release date, but is coming sometime in 2016. In the meantime, the developer’s older games are available on PlayStation 2 and 3.

Sony

The giant chimeric creature Trico is your companion in “The Last Guardian,” which features narrative storytelling not driven by dialogue.

Microsoft

The time control on display here is a major component of “Quantum Break,” in which players battle futuristic baddies.

B Y CHARL E S B AT T E RSB Y Video games are still behind other media when it comes to being respected as a form of narrative art — but there are designers who excel at creating story-driven interactive experiences which allow players to explore richly detailed worlds, speak with compelling characters, and learn the histories of fictional cultures. Accompanying this year’s

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January 28 – February 10, 2016

usual new crop of mindless shooters, monster-killers, and phone-tapping time wasters will be games whose stories will engross players in their worlds. THE LAST GUARDIAN Release Date: TBA, 2016 Team Ico is a developer that has made cult hits like “Ico” and “Shadow of the Colossus” by

employing non-verbal narrative storytelling. Their characters rarely speak — and when they do, it is in inhuman languages, or just saying each other’s names. “Ico” and “Colossus” told tales of ruined kingdoms, heroic sacrifice, and the selfish refusal to let a loved one pass on — all without directly saying anything. Players had to observe their surroundings, and extrapolate

DEUS EX: MANKIND DIVIDED Release Date: August, 2016 The first game in this series arrived in 2000, before futuristic dystopias were all the rage, and it was ominously prophetic about the 21st century. Players took control of a cybernetically-augmented government agent who had to unravel a global spider web of conspiracies. What sets the “Deus Ex” franchise apart from the crowd is that almost any obstacle can be circumvented through stealth, hacking, negotiation, or non-lethal weapons. Of course, if players want to shoot their way through life, they can do that too. The fourth game in the series, “Deus Ex: Mankind Divided,” will focus on how cybernectically-augmented people (“Augs”) are being discriminated against by the rest of humanity. Like the best of science fiction, the story is a metaphor for real world issues, with Augs standing in for any oppressed group. “Mankind Divided” is a direct sequel to the last game, “Human Revolution.” The series, thus far, still holds up, and is highly recommended for cyberpunk and conspiracy enthusiasts. GAMES Continued on page 24

DowntownExpress.com


Courtesy Rachel Uffner Gallery

Installation view, “David Armacost: Open Time.”

Two spaces, parallel narratives

‘Open Time’ showcases similar explorations of Armacost, Planck BY ST E PH A N I E BU H MA N N Often working within arm’s reach of each other, David Armacost and Nikholis Planck pursue a similar exploration of painting. Honoring this unusual rapport, their individual efforts are showcased side-by-side in “Open Time” — an exhibition dedicated to notions of opportunity and potential in the creative process. In fact, both Armacost’s and Planck’s paintings reflect a sincere devotion to material experimentation. They also prove to have a keen interest in creating layered compositions that are able to convey personal experience. By assigning two spaces to their parallel narratives, the gallery aims to evoke the trail of stimulating conversation that has sparked and underlined many of the artists’ works in the past. However, it also promises to become an independent installation in itself, blurring the divide between studio practice and public exhibition. Through Feb. 20 at Rachel Uffner Gallery (170 Suffolk St., btw. E. Houston & Stanton Sts.). Hours: Wed.–Sun., 10 a.m.–6 p.m. Call 212-274-0064 or visit racheluffnergallery.com. DowntownExpress.com

Courtesy Rachel Uffner Gallery

Installation view, “Nikholis Planck: Open Time.” January 28 – February 10, 2016

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Intriguing stories engross gamers in other worlds Effect” games should leap into the trilogy now, to be caught up in time for the fall release of “Andromeda.”

Funcom/Red Thread Games

A screenshot from the sci-fi/fantasy game “Dreamfall Chapters,” the final installment of a long-running series that began in 1999. GAMES Continued from page 22

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MASS EFFECT: ANDROMEDA Release Date: Fall, 2016 “Mass Effect” is a science fiction series that has three prior games. The original trilogy is a masterwork of galaxy-spanning storytelling, during which players guide a single character through hundreds of hours of adventures. What makes this trilogy particularly engrossing is that players shape the story by deciding what their character will do at certain points in the game, and these decisions carry over through each game in the series. Friends and lovers can die along the way, and galactic politics can shift based on what the player chooses to do. This year, fans are getting another installment in the series. The details are being kept secret, but it is known that this game introduces a new playable protagonist. The previous games created a vast galaxy full of alien civilizations, each with their own history and culture, so there is a great deal left to explore out there. “Mass Effect: Andromeda” is a new direction for the franchise, but the team at Bioware has rarely made missteps, so it's a title to look out for. Science fiction fans who haven't tried the older “Mass

QUANTUM BREAK Release Date: April 2016, exclusively for Xbox One Plenty of video games have heroes who can control time, but Remedy Entertainment popularized this effect with “Max Payne,” a third-person shooter game. Released in 2001, it was about an ex-cop who would enter a stylish slow-motion mode during gunfights. Aside from the “bullet time” effect, “Max Payne” also has an excellent story, with a hard-boiled narrative delivered by its surprisingly eloquent killing machine. Remedy’s next game, “Alan Wake,” was about a verbose novelist trapped in a horror story that he wrote. Of course it was riddled with loquacious narration, and clever plot twists. Remedy’s upcoming game, “Quantum Break,” is about a man who gains the ability to control time, and must use it fight the minions of a ruthless corporation from the future. Given Remedy’s history of combining gunplay with storytelling, this should be one of the most thoughtful action games of the coming year. DREAMFALL CHAPTERS Release Date: TBA, 2016 In 1999, point-and-click adventure games were at their most popular, and many players still insist that the genre hit its high point with that year’s “The Longest Journey.” It was about a woman who could shift between two worlds. One was a fantasy realm, and the other was a futuristic city right out of science fiction. It got a sequel in 2006 called “Dreamfall,” but that game ended in a cliffhanger. This final installment in the series is called “Dreamfall Chapters,” a fivepart “episodic” game. The first of these five chapters arrived in 2014, and the fourth in December 2015. With its blend of sci-fi and fantasy, the game appeals to a wide audience. The series has three playable characters, and gamers will certainly find themselves drawn to at least one. New players should have enough time to try both of the previous games before this magnificent 17-year journey reaches its end. DowntownExpress.com


The bon mot family slingers

‘Our Mother’s Brief Affair’ keeps truth at a distance

BY SCO T T ST I F F L E R It’s easy to enjoy — but hard to believe — the central character in this flashback-heavy tale of a mother’s confession and the unsettling ripple effect it has on her surviving children. If only that assessment didn’t apply to the play as well. During one of many “cry wolf” calls to her deathbed, Anna (Linda Lavin) — a stubbornly tart husk of the shag rug-loving, Burberry trench coat-wearing, Mary Higgins Clark-reading Long Island mother she was in her prime — lets loose with a doozy, telling grownup gay son Seth (Greg Keller) about the affair she had when he was 15. But are her tales of park bench flirtations and hotel room trysts (engaged in while a youthful Seth took weekly viola lessons at Juilliard) the product of a dying truth-teller, a victim of “mental mayhem natural to someone who'd had too many operations, and way too much anesthesia,” or a vain revisionist gunning for space in the competitive obituary page her son writes? After just over two hours’ worth of anecdotes told, dots connected and observations made, Seth and his twin sister Abby (Kate Arrington) — still no closer to an answer they can live with — are reduced to wondering, “… who are you?” Despite its finely calibrated, audience-pleasing quips and volleys (and there are many), Tony-winning writer Richard Greenberg’s layered, but ulti-

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Bench press: Despite their persistent questioning, Anna (Linda Lavin, center) knows how to hold her children at arm’s length.

mately wafer-thin play sends you on your way with the feeling of having been cheated out of an investment — not in time spent, but in characters ill-served by one too many plot twists that tantalize, then fail to deliver. Full of juicy details that force a reassessment of the parent they only thought they knew, Anna’s brief affair is grist enough for her befuddled children. However, the even more disturbing revelation that caps Act I plays itself out as little more than a feat of parlor trick misdirection, as does a “Rosebud” moment from Anna’s childhood.

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That origin story, though, is beautifully written and wrenchingly played — and if this single callous act seems incapable of causing Anna to proclaim, “I wasn't worthy of the good things,” only to make those around her suffer for decades, then something must have done the job. How else to explain the deceased father’s only appearance? (“Everybody with their ‘oh mom's so sick, mom's so frail’ — she'll live forever; one day I'll drop down dead,” he says.) Recalling what a lousy patient she was during those rounds of getting sick and getting well, Abe (John Procaccino,

also cast as Anna’s lover) musters a level of rage so genuine and insightful that it makes the endless comedic observations of Seth and Abby seem as if they belong in a separate, far less important, universe. Not helping matters: The brother and sister deliver their pithy quips directly to the audience. It's not long before this has the unfortunate effect of turning the Samuel J. Friedman Theatre into a downscale basement comedy club, where cascades of laughter, although well-earned, distract from the business of drilling deep enough to tap what really lurks below the surface. Punchline imperative notwithstanding, Greenberg’s knack for heartfelt moments, achieved with stunning bursts of prose, keeps the whole “Affair” from drifting into sitcom territory — making the experience a disappointment only in the sense of potential not realized because of the roads not taken. As the elusive title character, Linda Lavin (whose Feb. 1 “First Farewell Concert” at Birdland Jazz Club you really need to see) has no trouble distinguishing this performance from others in the “formidable parent” genre typical of her recent stage work. So perhaps it’s not such a bad thing to say you can’t quite figure your mother out. Best to show her some love while she’s still around. For tickets ($60-$140), visit telecharge.com or call 212-239-6200. At the Samuel J. Friedman Theatre (261 W. 47th St., btw. Broadway & Eighth Ave.). For info on MTC, visit ManhattanTheatreClub.com.

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Coverage Countdown to January 31, 2016!

You must apply for enrollment through www.nystateofhealth.ny.gov by January 31 to have health insurance in 2016. • Do you need health insurance? • Are you shopping for coverage but haven't made a decision yet? • Have you already chosen a plan, but want to reconsider? • Do you know about the new Essential Plan, with monthly premiums that are either FREE or $20 based on your income? Fidelis Care can answer all your health insurance questions and help you apply for enrollment through www.nystateofhealth.ny.gov.

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