Single! Young Christian Woman May 2012

single!

A P U B L I C AT I O N O F O N M Y O W N N O W M I N I S T R I E S

MAY

/ 12

Young Christian Woman

Tipping Savvy Is Your Church a Crowd-Pleaser?

Why Bother to Look Good (If You Smell Bad)?

Dark Side of the Donut: My Sugar Addiction

w w w. o n m y o w n n o w. c o m

in this Single!

Young Christian Woman May 2012, Vol. 4 On My Own Now Ministries, Inc., Publisher Donna Lee Schillinger, Editor Donna Lee Schillinger with Daniela Bermudez, Page Design Kimberly M. Schluterman Editorial Support Contributors Dr. J. L. Williams Jeffrey Bridgman, Julie Ann Except where noted, content is copyright 2012 On My Own Now Ministries.

Articles may be reprinted with credit to author, Single! and www.OnMyOwnNow.com.

On My Own Now Ministries, Inc. is a nonprofit organization with a 501 (c) (3) determination. Your donations aid in our mission to encourage faith, wise life choices and Christ-likeness in young adults during their transition to living on their own.

We welcome submissions of original or repurposed articles that are contributed without expectation of compensation. May God repay you.

Visit us at www.OnMyOwnNow.com.

issue...

Straight Talk from the Proverbs What Accessories Can’t Hide

by Donna Lee Schillinger An Election Year Separation of Church and State (The Delusion) Part I

by Donna Lee Schillinger Center Ring Is Church Losing Focus?

(Cover: Is Your Church a Crowd-Pleaser?)

by Will Dole Spare Change Tipping Savvy

by Julie Ann Moving Out...Settling In The Dark Side of the Donut: My Sugar Addiction

by Freda Miller, guest columnist Fashion DIVinA Why Bother to Look Good (If You Smell Bad)? by the only person who dared to write this article

.4 .6

.8

.10 .12 .14

Congratulations!

Winner, 2012 Christian Small Publisher’s Book of the Year

Yep. It’s that good. If you need more amunition in the battle to remain pure until marriage, add this to your arsenal.

17 true stories about waiting for marriage to have sex, or not, and the consequences of that choice.

Now on sale, $12, free shipping at www.OnMyOwnNow.com.

straight talk

What Accessories Can’t Hide

N Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.

Proverbs 11:22

F

or a long time, when considering this proverb, I pictured a beautiful young woman who was loud, boisterous and scantily dressed.

I thought the meaning of this verse was that all that beauty was wasted on a person who flaunts it so much that she makes it appear ridiculous.

It would be like owning a fur coat and then wearing it everywhere you go – to ballgames, to the gym, to pump gas; it is taking a thing of beauty and making it appear worthless from overexposure.

Then I looked up the word “discretion” in the dictionary and discovered that whereas it could possibly be construed to address modest

4

By Donna Lee Schillinger

behavior, the true definition is “cautious behavior.” A discreet person is one who weighs carefully what she says and does – a person who does not act rashly. An additional definition is being able to keep a secret when needed.

Back in Solomon’s day, it was not uncommon for beautiful women to wear rings in their noses (and it didn’t have the connotations of a ring in the nose today). Picture a beautifully adorned woman in fine, flowing, wispy silk robes with ornate dangling earrings and a gold ring in her nose. She’s the fashion icon of the sixth century B.C. She causes chariot wrecks as she crosses the street!

Now Solomon knows her well, so she doesn’t have the same effect on him. He says that in all this beauty, the only thing of redeeming value he sees is the gold ring in her nose. Aside from that ring, he sees only swine when he contemplates this woman because she has no discretion. She acts rashly; she does whatever occurs to her without considering the consequences. She acts on impulse, emotion and physical sensation.

This, in Solomon’s eyes, makes her no better than an animal – and not just any animal, but one that wallows in the mud.

And indeed, discretion is one of the things that separates us from the animals.

I have a dog that sleeps inside the house. He is good buddies with neighboring dogs that sleep outside. Quite often, something exciting (to a dog) will happen in the middle of the night, like an armadillo spotting, and the neighboring dogs outside will go crazy. This wakes my inside dog and, with absolutely no consideration

from the proverbs

whatsoever for the sleeping people in the house, he will start to bark and whimper and prance around to be let outside. It’s a hunt! I’ve got to go! He gives no thought to who he is impacting with his impulsiveness.

A person, on the other hand, is endowed with the ability to apply abstract thought to a situation and think beyond what she feels and wants. She is able to consider how what she wants and intends to do will impact others. We have the ability. But, we must opt to engage this ability.

A discreet woman has her abstract cognition switch always in the “engaged” position. A discreet woman, even in chaotic and rushed circumstances, can quickly go through the mental exercise of imagining how what she says and does will impact other people. And a discreet and wise woman will choose to say and do those things that ultimately will have a positive impact on other people.

Regardless of what you’re wearing, that’s true beauty.

Hold this thought: Outer beauty is no good without inner beauty.

k 5

An Election Year

Separation of church and State (The Delusion) Part I

by

W

ith Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich out of the Republican presidential primaries, Christian Republicans are in a very interesting position—one that might even be considered compromising. After the announcement that Gingrich would drop out, I exchanged emails with a politically and religiousminded friend, asking if he would now be supporting Ron Paul, since his other choice is a Mormon, a religion he considers false. His reply was predictable, and underscores a paradox that this two-man Republican primary is set to expose. My friend said he would probably support Romney because he is “electable,” indicating that the higher imperative here is to beat Obama.

For the religious right, it may seem like the lesser of two evils to back a Mormon over a liberal, mainstream Christian (Obama’s mother attended Baptist and Methodist churches and he was a member of United

6

Donna Lee Schillinger

Church of Christ). The continued efforts of Ron Paul, however, make this a three-choice scenario, one which conservative Christians would do well to think through carefully.

Let’s break down the choices: Support Obama: The “greater of the two evils” outcome for Christian Republicans is actually not “evil” at all for liberal Christians. So then, is it evil or not? Politics aside, Obama says his faith “plays every role” in his life, and yes, he is talking about mainstream Christian faith.

Support Mitt Romney: The “lesser of two evils” outcome for Christian Republicans is electing an unapologetic Mormon to the highest office of our “Christian nation.”

For liberal Christians, supporting Romney is “an evil,” but probably because of his politics, rather than his religion. So both right and left see this one as an evil.

Support Ron Paul: For Christian Republicans, this choice is not particularly “evil,” but could result in the “greater of the two evils” (i.e. four more years of “obamanation”).

For liberal Christians, electing Paul is the greater of two evils – not because of his religion, but because of his politics.

Liberal Christians have an easy choice at the polls this November: they agree with Barack Obama’s politics and believe his profession of Christian faith. There is no perceived dissonance between his politics and his profession for liberals who generally share Obama’s convictions on biblically controversial positions (pro choice, support for same-sex marriage, etc.). They have a candidate they can support in good conscience before God. Conservative Christians, however, are at a crossroads just now—especially those in southern states that have yet to hold primaries. Both candidates have acceptable politics (didn’t the debates establish that both are conservative enough for the GOP?), but only one candidate professes Christian faith as recognized by mainstream Christianity. Problematically, it’s not the one they believe can beat Obama. Whereas Ron Paul supporters have a candidate whose politics and religion they agree with, mainstream Christian supporters of Romney will only agree with his politics.

So in order for conservative Christians to support the “electable” Romney, must they put their religious convictions in a box and tape them up until November 7? What becomes of all the allegations that Obama is unfit to lead the nation because of his sympathy for Islam and policy positions that seem contradictory to biblical teaching? In effect, conservative Christians would be admitting their fickleness at best; and at worst, exposing themselves as hypocrites who can dismiss Romney’s “false religion” as immaterial, after having been critical and suspicious of Obama’s Christian faith.

Despite this paradoxical treatment, there are many conservative Christians who will profess that politics and religion can be compartmentalized, apparently quite arbitrarily or when convenient, and will call this phenomenon separation of church and state. The concept that James Madison, among other founding fathers, fought so hard to include in our Bill of Rights is so different from today’s application of that phrase, that conservative Christians can glibly cry “separation of church and state” and fool most of the people most of the time.

God is not so easily convinced. First of all, it might be hard to explain to Him why He might not be our first priority in choosing which political candidate to support.

Secondly, God might not understand why we think someone is not “electable” when He once made a shepherd boy king. But most of all, it might be near impossible to get Him voluntarily into that box which isolates His sovereignty and supremacy over matters of state.

For the follower of Christ, liberal or conservative, church cannot be separated from anything. Separating church and state to keep the government out of regulating religion and keep religion from forcing itself on citizens is appropriate. But when we invoke the concept in an effort to reconcile incongruities in our politics and faith, it is dangerously misapplied.

Donna Lee Schillinger is editor of the recent anthology Purity’s Big Payoff/Premarital Sex is a Big Rip-off, winner of the 2012 Christian Small Publisher’s Book of the Year. In 2008 she founded On My Own Now Ministries to encourage faith, wise life choices and Christ-likeness in young adults. On My Own Now publishes the free, monthly online magazines, Single! Young Christian Woman and Genuine Motivation: Young Christian Man.

k 7

center ring

is Church losing Focus? by

I

f I were asked to succinctly describe our current American evangelical landscape, I might say something along the lines of “consumer driven.”

Or perhaps “seeker sensitive.” One pastor I know describes it as the “King thing.” And dotting this landscape are the mega churches of the suburbs.

But in all reality, even many small rural churches operate in such a way as to suggest that church is about the consumer.

Of course, we don’t use such worldly jargon name in board meetings and talks among leadership.

Instead we refer to “attendees” or even “members.”

This makes our dialogue far more impressive and Christian sounding. We talk about needing to “meet people’s needs” or to “speak to them where they’re are.” Perhaps we even try to “help” the believers gathered. But are these efforts the point of church?

Is church where I go to get my weekly feeding from the pastor? Is it where I go to have my emotions moved by the music? Do I attend church because I like the people, or because the people make me feel comfortable? I have not even begun to touch the many reasons people attend church or participate in a local body; neither have I hit on many

8

Will Dole

of the reasons churches function in the way they do. These are just a few examples that most of can probably relate to in our church experience.

We need to ask these questions again in earnest: Is church a place where I go to be entertained? Is it where I go to be built up or encouraged? Is it where I go for spiritual food? If you can answer yes to any of these, you may be a church “consumer.” And if so, I would like to ask you a simple question: Where does the Gospel figure into your views toward church? More specifically, how does your perception of Jesus’ life, work and words affect your thinking about church?

Let’s break this down it logically. First, for any of this to make sense you must be a believer in Jesus Christ. That is, not merely a believer that He existed and was a good guy. But rather, that He is who He said He was and is: the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father (God) except through Him (John 14:6). This is accomplished because Jesus, through His perfect life and divine being was the only sacrifice acceptable to God for the punishment of our sins. Jesus went to the cross and bore the wrath of God for us (1 Peter 2:24),

feature article and being raised to life on the third day, has given to those who believe the right to be reconciled to God and called children of God (John 1:12, Romans 5:10).

So Jesus has reconciled us to God. Why has God, through Jesus, done this? According to Ephesians 1:12-14 it is, “to the praise of His glory.” God does this to bring Himself glory. We, who were enemies with God, have been saved by Him to bring Him glory!

If we’re on the same page, how are we to live in light of this? We are to stop identifying with our sinful nature and instead we ought to present ourselves as slaves of God’s righteousness (Romans 6:12-13).

We also are to walk in the good works that God has prepared for us (Ephesians 2:10). But perhaps our greatest callings are wrapped up in two things that we often refer to as great: the great commandment and the great commission.

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind” Matthew 22:37.

Jesus was quoting from Deuteronomy 6:5. This command, along with the command to love our neighbor as ourselves, sums up all of God’s law! How is this possible? Because if we are constantly giving our all to loving our God and treating others properly, then we will have given sin no foothold.

Jesus’ giving of the great commission is but a few chapters later, and here Jesus says, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always even to the end of the age” Matthew 28:18b-20.

So we are to love God with all our heart, soul and mind. Furthermore, we are to make disciples of all the nations teaching them to obey Jesus’ commands and baptizing them in the name of our Trinitarian God. You might call this our purpose and our mission. Our purpose is to love God, and our mission is to make disciples. Everything we do ought to be run through these filters. Does it help me love God? Does this demonstrate a love for God? Does this make disciples? Am I in a position to teach others about, or point them to Jesus?

Now let’s put church through these filters. If I am to be loving God and others, and making disciples… how in the world can I follow this thought process

and end up in a place where I am looking for a church to meet my needs or find a place where I am moved or uplifted? When did the focus shift to me?

So God chooses to save me for His glory, gives me a mission, rooted in a love, to reach others; and somehow church is about me? How does that work? It doesn’t. Why would you look for a church that makes you comfortable? Paul says in 1 Corinthians 14:26 that all things in relation to our dealings with the body of Christ, including its corporate meeting, are to “be done for edification.” Not the glory of me. Not the comfort of me. The good of others. Paul in this spot is coming off of three chapters of teaching the Corinthian church about spiritual gifts and reminding them that they are all part of one body, and that each of them has a responsibility and an obligation to use their spiritual gifts for others’ good and God’s glory. It is selfish robbery for me to walk into church week after week, “get fed,” and leave without doing anything to build up and edify the other parts of the body. If your right hand decided to call in sick to work one day it would be a very inconvenient day for you. If it quit working entirely you might be better off to have it amputated and have a prosthetic put on in its place, rather than continuing to nourish it by allowing it to still be attached. Are you a lively hand, or a dead one? Do I go to church in order to meet with others and praise God, with the intention of using my gifts to aid the body, or simply to get my weekly feeding or emotional high so that I can leave?

All of this is said in realization that church is more than a weekly service. There are many places to exercise one’s gifting outside the walls of the church. Not all search for comfort is evil; it might even be okay to have an espresso machine on the back wall. This article is merely meant to pose a question. Where is our focus? Do we come to church to be entertained, to feel comfortable, to be moved, to be fed? We shouldn’t. We should be gathering to join with other believers in focusing on our God. To worship Him for who He is. In this our hope ought to be that He is glorified, and that others are edified. Church isn’t a place where I go to get satisfied by God; being the church is something we do because we are satisfied in God!

k

Will Dole is a sinner saved by the amazing grace of Jesus. He is pursuing a life in ministry and currently works with South Lake Youth Ministries in Plummer, Idaho. He is student at the Rocky Mountain Bible Mission’s Bible Training Center.

You can check out Will’s occasional musings at www.cdubthinking.blogspot.com.

9

Spare Change

Tipping Savvy

by Julie Ann

A

few days ago I was walking by a cookie shop in the mall and noticed a tip jar sitting by the register. These little tip jars seem to be popping up at more and more places. As I continued walking down the corridor smelling the aroma of chocolate chip cookies, I started thinking, “Do I really need to tip someone just for reaching in a display case, grabbing a cookie, and ringing up my purchase?”

Oh tipping, it’s confusing, often controversial and only seems to be getting more so. How do I know who to tip? How much should I tip? Do I tip on the pre- or post-tax total? What about bad service?

I’ve scoured the opinions of etiquette and financial experts and have put together a few tipping scenarios and guidelines on how you should handle these situations.

Cookie Counter Tip Jar Let’s say, that cookie smell wafting through the mall had driven me bonkers and I had satisfied my craving with a delicious chocolate chip cookie.

Am I obligated to tip the cookie lady? Typically workers at these cookie shops, coffee shops, do-ityourself-yogurt shops and the like are not working for tips so you shouldn’t feel like you are under any obligation. However, if the circumstances warrant (the employee is particularly friendly or helpful, or is working quickly and efficiently to deal with a long line) then it may be polite to throw in your spare change or a buck into the tip jar.

Gift Certificates, Coupons and Vouchers Now what if you are using a gift certificate, coupon or voucher for a service or meal? If you are using some sort of discount you should still tip on the amount before any deductions, discounts or taxes are applied. After all, just because you get half-off your services doesn’t mean the worker put in half the work.

10

Know Before You Go My editor recently used a gift certificate for a massage and was wondering about tipping the masseur and how much. The experts agree that a 10 to 20 percent tip should go to a massage therapist in a spa or hotel setting.

However, if it is a medical massage within a clinical setting, tipping is not expected (you wouldn’t tip your doctor for giving you a shot, would you?)

One issue that I’ve always struggled with (but never bothered to look up before now) was how much to tip my hair stylist. I’ve typically just rounded up to give her a couple bucks extra. But I always wondered if this was enough. Tipping etiquette suggests that I give my stylist a tip of 15 to 20 percent.

I’ve been giving more along the lines of 10 percent, so next time I will know to throw in a few extra dollars.

If you know you’re going to be in a situation like these where you are unsure if you are to tip and how much, run an Internet search beforehand so you don’t get caught wondering if you made a tipping faux pas. When traveling, it is especially helpful to know how much to tip bellhops, shuttle drivers, concierges or tour guides. If you are traveling internationally always check before you go, as tipping is illegal in some countries.

Bad Service One of the most controversial subjects surrounding tipping is what to do when you get bad service. Let’s say your waiter was slow, rude, didn’t keep your drinks filled and never brought you ketchup when you asked.

Do you stiff him or leave a significantly reduced tip to prove your dissatisfaction?

If you ask 10 different people you’ll get 10 different answers on what you should do, so it’s really a matter of opinion and how you view the circumstances. But here are a few things to consider.

First, be gracious. Perhaps your waiter just got bad news and his attitude and lack of focus weren’t intentional. Leave a full

tip, but perhaps mention it to the manager before leaving so that she will be aware of the problem and deal with it accordingly.

Second, be aware of how service employees (wait staff) are paid. In some states wait staff are paid minimum wage, but in other states they are paid only a few dollars an hour and are expected to make up the difference in tips. Also be aware that they often split their tips with other employees like kitchen staff, hostesses or bussers. So if you refuse to tip you may truly be hurting your waitress’s income and denying other employees of extra pay.

Finally, if you do choose to tip a dime or leave no tip at all, you might not want to frequent that establishment for a while. If your stiff a waiter, he very well might remember you, and while I hope this wouldn’t happen, you may just get some “extra ingredients” in your food if he is as big of a jerk as he seems.

In my opinion, your best recourse for bad service is to tip the minimum amount (10 percent) and then speak to the manager or write a letter to the establishment.

Beyond these generalities lies the real confusion – which is why there’s such thing as a tip calculator. You can’t expect to carry all this info in your head, so familiarize yourself with some common tipping scenarios and then be proactive by using the links below to figure out how to tip the mail carrier when Christmas rolls around (no cash, since giving money to federal workers is illegal) or whether your barista should get a bit extra for your complicated coffee order.

How Much To Tip Holiday Tipping Tips on Tipping 2012 Minimum Wage Tipped Workers per State

k 11

moving out

image by Jack Hebert

Dark Side of the Donut: My Sugar Addiction M

y mother was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was in the seventh grade.

I didn’t know it then, but that would become a defining point in my life. One day, she was vivacious, audacious, singing and painting; the next, she woke up in the hospital bed with bandages and tubes, recovering from a radical mastectomy. Guess it would make an impression on anyone.

I entered my teen years like many other girls, always struggling with a poor body image, seeing everyone else as thinner and prettier. It seemed

12

by Freda Miller

that every magazine I picked up had an article about healthy living and healthy eating. In addition, breast cancer has been linked to a high-fat diet and some suspect carcinogens in foods and packaging materials. With my mother’s medical history behind me and my youthful future before me, I tried to protect myself from the hidden dangers lurking in fats, salt, preservatives, artificial sweeteners, pesticides, plastics‌ did I forget any? I tried to exercise, use sunscreen, drink plenty of water, not drink too much coffee or eat too much red meat. One Bible passage that particularly convicted me was I Corinthians 19-

settling In really matter?) Then one day my daughter and I were talking about weight. She was bemoaning the fact that she couldn’t fit into her skinny jeans, and couldn’t understand why not. Okay—she’s a size extra small. Same song, second verse!

That weekend, I was finally motivated to take up the weight loss challenge, and I came across The Belly Fat Cure. Author Jorge Cruise claims that sugar is addictive. His argument is that eating large amounts of sugar requires your pancreas to constantly make insulin, which leads to fat, especially around the waist. Epiphany! Reading the level of sugar this author recommended put me into emotional shock. A lot of the foods I had been eating because I believed them to be healthy had way more sugar than the book recommended. Favorites of mine that made the “belly bad” list included: Kashi GoLean Crunch! and Fiber One, Honey Maid graham crackers, Prego Heart Smart spaghetti sauce, Baked Lays potato chips, Sun Chips, raisins, Craisins, and Silk soymilk.

While the dress might no longer fit, the shoe certainly did. I was addicted to sugar. I was not the master of my own body, but rather the slave to my sweet tooth.

20, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body.” (The Holy Bible, New International Version, 1985). I sincerely believe that I have a duty to God, to my family and to myself to respect the health that I have and try to maintain it.

Now I have a new health goal and a new definition of healthy foods. After three weeks, I can say I feel renewed and excited to be able to walk past the cheesecake at Sam’s Club and not want to eat the whole thing at once. My husband says I am calmer. I feel better. While my daughter is pursuing a more moderate change, just a few days of cutting back on sugar had her back in her clothes.

I have control over the demon.

Time passed. I married and we were blessed with children. I tried to make healthy meals and teach them about good nutrition to protect them, doing my best to be a godly mother and role model.

Some years I was a dress size I was happy about; other years, not so much.

I feel empowered that I have conquered a hidden idol in my life that not only threatened my health and my self-esteem, but my availability for use

by God. The moral to the story? Change doesn’t stop and there’s always something new to learn, no matter how long you may be settled in.

Since my daughter got married, I have tried to embrace the changes in my life—those golden years everyone tells me about. But change has its stress, and I found myself indulging way too much in comfort food. I gained a lot of weight. (I really wanted to blame it on hormones—does it

Freda Miller lives in Clarksville, Ark. She enjoys the outdoors, landscaping, reading, her family, and the occasional creative writing. Her latest adventure is working toward a master’s degree in Operations Management at the University of Arkansas-Fayetteville College of Engineering.

k 13

Fa s hion DIV inA

Why Bother to Look Good (If You Smell Bad)?

by Donna Lee Schillinger (because no one else dared write this article!)

H

ere comes summer and with this global warming thing starting to seem real – new record high temps year after year – we can plan on doing a lot of sweating! Gads. You can scurry from one air-conditioned place to the next and avoid sweating, but you’ll miss out on a lot of summer fun that way too. So equip yourself with good hygienic practices (and a summer care kit)

14

to keep yourself smelling fresh even when you’re *glistening* profusely.

There are basically five body areas that can undermine your confidence and good looks by attracting unwanted attention: head, underarms, underbreasts, panty area and feet. In unabashed simplicity, we’re going to straight talk our way through them all.

Let’s work up from the feet. Fortunately, during summer months, feet can be less of a problem because they spend a good deal of time in sandals. Even so, some sandals, particularly those with faux leather insoles, can start to get a certain funk about them. Prevent a problem by washing shoes in soapy water with a half-cup of pet odor remover or vinegar added in. Then make it a daily habit to powder your feet with an antifungal powder or spray. Wearing absorbent socks is the best prevention for foot odor if you have to wear closed-toe shoes. But it’s not a great idea to stay in sweaty socks for hours and hours.

So the first item in your summer care kit to keep in your car or purse is an extra pair of socks to change into when the others have reached their saturation point.

OK, you don’t want to read this and I don’t want to write it, but it needs to be read and said.

There’s no more mortifying thought than that you might have, unbeknownst to you, crotch odor. You know how when you put on perfume, you can only smell it for a few minutes and then it seems to disappear? Well, it’s still there and people can smell it on you, but your nose’s receptors for that particular scent are “filled up” and so you can no longer smell it. Unfortunately, that’s the way it is with our body odors too. Our

nose can’t really detect our own bad breath, etc.

Sometimes, the wind will shift and you’ll get a fresh perspective on yourself, but most of the time, we’re just sort of the olfactory equivalent of blind to our own smell, a phenomenon known as olfactory fatigue. So do yourself and the world a favor and assume that you naturally stink and take precautions to prevent the odor becoming intrusive on others.

Sometimes, the wind will shift and we'll get a fresh perspective, but most of the time, we're just sort of the olfactory equivalent of blind to our own smell, a phenomenon known as olfactory fatigue.

You should know by now that you just really have to shower daily in the summer and plan your exercise around being able to shower afterwards. Sometimes, however, that’s not possible. It’s from the park to the movies. What to do? Pack a change of clothes if possible. Add to your summer care kit a change of undies in a sandwich bag, which can also be used to store the dirty ones. But if you don’t have a way to make a quick change, you can at least wear and then change panty liners. Also stock your summer care kit with a small spray bottle with three parts water to one part vinegar and a couple of drops of your favorite essential oil such

k 15

Fa s hion DIV inA as lavender or palma rosa. While you’re toileting, spray your whole panty area, including upper thighs. Give the vinegar a minute to kill the bad bugs and then pat dry. This, with a change of skivvies, is about as close as you can get to a shower without running water. Playtex makes a personal cleansing cloth (in the tampon section) that is individually wrapped – a little pricy, but very convenient for when you need to refresh on the go.

“Why, Lord?” one wonders when considering the sweat glands in our chests, just under the breasts.

I’m sure there must be some logic to the design, but in the summer, it just seems like a curse, particularly for large-breasted women. A good sports bra will keep skin from folding over on skin, which goes a long way to solving the problem.

Also you can wear an absorbent band of cloth under your breasts, like a bandana (only longer – you may need to make your own from cotton material), which you can slip off after the heat is off so you don’t have to go around with a damp bra after a game of volleyball in the park.

We’re up to our armpits now! If you haven’t found a deodorant that works for you, keep trying. There are plenty out there and the trick is to use them regularly. A travel size deodorant deserves a special place in your summer care kit,

16

but before reapplying, give your pits a spritz with the water/vinegar/essential oil solution and pat them dry, then reapply. Don’t put more deodorant on top of funky!

Did you know our heads stink? And I’m not just talking about our breath, for which there is no shortage of remedies. Our scalps perspire throughout the day and night and cause an odor that our hair holds. Additionally, ears stink if not cleaned regularly. The best prevention for stinkhead is to wash your hair and ears (soap inside the ears with your fingertips) daily. Don’t forget to dry your ears inside with a towel (not a cotton swab). But when you can’t shower, a stop-gap measure is to straighten your hair, which removes the moisture which is holding some of the stink molecules. But if even that is not convenient, tuck a travel size hair spray in your summer care kit and, yes, apply this on top of funky. Hair spray, with its lacquering properties, just seals that stink until you can get to the shower next.

In general, there are other measures you can take to reduce the amount of stink your body produces to begin with, such as reducing red meat, garlic, and alcohol intake, washing your clothes after every wear, washing them with odor removing agents (like pet odor remover), not smoking, exfoliating, steam bathing and toweling off thoroughly after bathing, to name a few.

It doesn’t matter how stunning you look, bad body odor can refute any fashion statement. And yet, we’re all stinky; yes, everyone stinks. So don’t obsess about body odor either. After all, God gave you a unique one that, amazingly, will attract just the right person to you.