Single! Young Christian Woman January 2011

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A P U B L I C AT I O N O F O N M Y O W N N O W M I N I S T R I E S

JAN 11

Young Christian Woman

Overcoming Toilet Seat Contention

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HOSTESS

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JAN 2011

Young Christian Woman

A publication of ON MY OWN NOW MINISTRIES

www.onmyownnow.com

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STRAIGHT TALK FROM THE PROVERBS

We Had Irreconcilable Differences: He Refused to Put the Toilet-Seat Down

By Donna Lee Schillinger

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MOVING OUT ... SETTLING IN

How Martha Stewart is a Better Role Model than Martha of the Bible

By Kimberly Schluterman

CENTER RING

By Kimberly Floyd

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Unleashing the Christian Weight Loss Warrior Within

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By Julie Ann

EDITOR IN CHIEF

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THE RECAP

Ready to be a Wife?

(90-min. Streaming Audio Workshop

by Christine Pembleton) Review by Cheryl Valliquette

Donna Lee Schillinger

www.twitter.com/D_L_Schillinger

ART DIRECTION Daniela BermĂşdez

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JUST WHAT YOU NEED

Is There a Resume in your Future?

By Jeffrey Bridgman

Fridge-worthy.

We see high drama in the movies all the time, but in real life, big acting does not win awards.

Straight talk from the proverbs for young Christian women who want to remain pure, debt-free and regret-free. “In this interesting and thought-provoking exploration of the book of Proverbs, Schillinger takes young women along a journey that will help them to make better, safer, and more sound decisions.�

Cheryl C. Malandrinos The Book Connection blog Now Available at www.onmyownnow.com, at Amazon, B&N and a library and bookstore near you.

STRAIGHT TALK

WE HAD IRRENCONCILABLE DIFFERENCES:

HE REFUSED TO PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN

BY DONNA LEE SCHILLINGER

I once heard a story of a Japanese woman who suffered a slap in the face by her tantruming three-year-old without batting an eyelash. Instead of rebuking the behavior and trying to force discipline on an obviously upset child, she continued to coo him into submission as he writhed and lashed out. Her objective was to calm the child. Even as he struck her in the face, she did not lose sight of her objective. How could instantly switching from her comforting coos to a “No, no! We don’t hit! Do not hit Mommy!” help calm the child? She left that lesson for another moment, when the child was calm and would soak up her instruction.

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A fool shows her annoyance at once, but a prudent woman overlooks an insult.

Proverbs 12:16 This mother reacted in a way that is unnatural. Our natural reaction when we’re dealt a blow to the face is to stop and defend ourselves, nip unwanted behavior in the bud or perhaps even to strike back. However, if she had acted on these natural inclinations, they would have taken her off course for her objective: to calm the child. To accomplish her objective, she needed to pursue harmony, not perpetuate discord.

Pursuing harmony is all well and good, but for women in relationships, does that mean we have to suffer the same insults repeatedly? Take, for example, the boyfriend who likes to tell an embarrassing story about us in front of other people. He thinks it’s all in fun, apparent by his good humor as he tells our tales. We think it’s humiliating and we wish he would stop. Instead of addressing the insult when he delivers it (The next time he does that, I’m going to walk out!), giving back “tit for tat” (I’ll get him back with embarrassing stories of his own!), or just completely ignoring it time after time until our self-esteem suffers, we can strategically select an opportunity to lovingly tell our boyfriend how we feel when he does that. In private and when we’re already in harmony, we say, “When you do…, I feel…”

Don’t say: “I hate when you do that.” Or, “I wish you wouldn’t do that.” Or, “You always…” The most effective few words we can use to educate our boyfriends will clearly communicate how it makes us feel. If they really care for us and are considerate, they will stop that behavior, though it may take them some time and effort to change their bad habits.

She who covers an offense promotes love…

Proverbs 17:9

What about when the offense is just irksome, but in all honestly doesn’t warrant a statement about how it makes us feel? Should we use this same strategy to address the toilet lid left up or the pretty tea towels used to clean spills on the floor? We don’t have to be resigned to always putting the lid down ourselves for the rest of our lives, but we do need to make sure that the issue of the toilet lid does not become an element of discord in our relationships. To minimize the frustration these things cause, try making a list of things he has to put with. Maybe he’s the type of person who likes to get places early and we’re always causing him to be late. In the big picture, it probably balances out.

But if it truly does not, then cut him loose now because marriage will only erode the thin coating keeping you from being a live wire!

Her ways are pleasant and all her paths are peace.

Proverbs 17:9 Not as serious as all that? Ask yourself, how important are the toilet lid, tea towels and host of other things making up your “gripe”? Are they more important than harmony in your relationship? Are you really unhappy because of these petty things? If so, that boyfriend might be putting up with more than you realize.

Note: If you’re in a relationship where the slap in the face is literal, this is not petty offense. In fact, it’s a serious offense, morally and legally, and most certainly worth disturbing the relationship and ending it completely.

HOLD THIS THOUGHT: I’LL LET THE LITTLE THINGS GO 5

How Martha Stewart is a

BETTER ROLE

MODEL than Martha from the Bible l

A couple weeks ago, I experienced another one of those “I’m grown up now” moments when my husband and I hosted the official Thanksgiving dinner for my side of the family. As hostess, I made a point to ensure my houseguests were comfortable. I’m probably more obsessive over hospitality than I should be—for a while I even wanted to run my own inn—but I just want my home to feel like a really friendly, loving hotel.

My mom taught me certain hospitality etiquette as I grew up, but just to make sure I didn’t overlook something, I perused the Internet too. I have encapsulated what I found and what I already knew into a neat little alliteration: Plan, prepare and practice.

Plan your menu, plan where your guests will sleep, plan for activities, and plan for whatever logistical arrangements are necessary. Prepare for all these things by shopping in advance; making sure your linens are clean; making sure there are enough plates, glasses, eating utensils and chairs; and checking to see if any of your guests need unique accommodations, such as special foods due to allergies or dye-free laundered linens for sensitive skin. Finally, if you’re making something you’ve never cooked before, you might consider a practice run with the menu.

MOVING OUT ... SETTLING IN

BY KIMBERLY SCHULTERMAN

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I practiced on a couple Cornish hens before making the big turkey. Smaller scale, roughly the same process to cook. If your activities require technology, such as playing video games or watching family pictures on a DVD, check to make sure everything works ahead of time.

Plan, prepare and practice.

• Clean up after your pets. Many people don’t care for animals (the crazies), and some are even allergic to them.

If your house normally smells like dog or cat, it shouldn’t by the time your company arrives. Vacuum everything, including the furniture. Shampoo the carpet if necessary.

Wash curtains if necessary. Mop the floors. I have a sweet kitty that I adore, but I’d hate for her to be the reason my houseguests aren’t comfortable. And cat owners, make sure the litter box is scooped at least once a day!

• Take out the trash, and remember the cans in guest rooms and bathrooms.

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It goes without say that your home should be clean prior to guests arriving. Obviously, the level of cleanliness will vary depending on who your guests are. For example, I beg my mom not to stress about cleaning the house before we come. I grew up in that house; I’ve seen it messy.

I’d rather see my mom when she’s refreshed and relaxed, than when she’s exhausted from having cleaned a big house by herself. But when she comes to my new home, you’d better believe I try to make it pristine.

Other ways to let your guests know you’ve been thinking of them far in advance of the door bell ringing are: • Provide each houseguest with clean sheets and pillow cases on the bed. I don’t wanna sleep in someone else’s cooties; do you?

• Clean the shower. Just as I don’t want to sleep in someone else’s cooties, I don’t want to shower in their soap scum and hair.

• Provide each houseguest with a clean towel and wash cloth. One of the nice things about staying in a hotel is the abundance of clean linens that later, you don’t have to wash. I want my houseguests to enjoy that convenience too.

• Clean the hand towels and make sure they pass the smell test! They should be fresh and neatly-folded on the towel rack, too. Folding it pretty is an easy thing to do that goes a long way toward presentation.

Martha Stewart has captured many of these items in a neat, printable checklist. Download it here.

Most importantly, remember which Martha to emulate.

Martha Stewart’s hostessing skills are terrific; Martha, of Mary and Martha fame, not so much (Luke 10:38-42).

Martha had the most important houseguest of all time and all she could do was clean and cook. At the end of the day, it’s almost guaranteed that despite careful implementation of the 3 P’s above, something will go wrong.

When it does, remain calm and collected. If you end up two spoons short, it’ll be alright. A gracious guest will be perfectly happy with a fork or plastic spoon. (Although in that instance, obviously the guest should get the good spoon and you should use the plastic.) You’re not allowed to talk incessantly about how the soup is too salty, the toast is burned, or the house isn’t clean enough. You’ve done your best and it is what it is. Take the time to enjoy your important company. If your guests don’t feel genuinely appreciated, for what good will all the effort have been?

Remember what the Bible tells us in Hebrews 13:2, “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.” As much energy as you put into entertaining your family around the holidays, always remember to be a gracious hostess to anyone who enters your home! If your home is a place of Christlike love and peace, then all who enter it will be blessed.

Okay, so you could have used this article a couple of months ago. Sorry! I was just learning these things myself during the 2010 holiday season. Get a good start on being the perfect hostess for your next house guests with these other helpful sites.

Etiquette Rules for a Happy Hostess and Hostess Dos and Don’ts.

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UNLEASHING THE CHRISTIAN WEIGHT LOSS WARRIOR WITHIN King David declares in Psalm 18:29: “For by You I can run against a troop, By my God I can leap over a wall.”

David’s warrior attitude is the same one that we need to cultivate to succeed with our Christian weight loss goals.

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Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS

CENTER RING

by KIMBERLY FLOYD

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I cheerfully admit that I am a warrior now but I wasn’t always. For over 20 years, I fought the battle of the bulge and lost. I’d achieve some success for a while, but then would quit when it got too hard. I finally succeeded in achieving my ideal weight and maintaining it the last time because of three reasons: First, I got an accountability partner who was in better shape than I was and who kept me on track. Second, I kept an image in my head of myself in the boxing ring with all my bad habits. I promised myself that no matter how many times they knocked me down, I was not going to give up. I knew that the only way I could fail was to quit. That is the essence of the warrior mindset. Third, I became willing to do the hard things.

The hard things are activities that you know you need to do, but they aren’t always easy or pleasant to do.

GIRD YOUR WAIST WITH TRUTH

Hard things include keeping your house clean, paying your bills, maintaining a lawn, going to work, etc. Hard things have a wonderful payoff when you do them and could have dire consequences if you don’t.

Instead, we must realize that the Spirit of the living God dwells in us. In Ephesians 3:20, we are promised that God can do exceedingly, abundantly, above all that we could ask or think, according to the power that works in us.

Here’s a secret that you probably haven’t heard in other Christian weight loss programs. The character you gain in the process of overcoming obstacles to weight loss is far more valuable than the weight you lose. The warrior mindset you gain will serve you well in other areas of your life, like recommitting to strengthening a marriage that others might give up on. The mark of a warrior is one who takes the time to distinguish between temporary pleasures versus lasting treasures. The warrior then chooses to invest time and energy into the things that last.

Did you catch that? Because we are in Christ, we have power on the inside of us. It is the same power that enabled Jesus to rise from the dead. This power can help us face any challenge life throws at us, including our weight issues.

To change our mindset into that of a warrior, we need to commit to the philosophy of Think, Speak, Do. If we want to do the hard things, then we must think thoughts that make us want to do them, speak as if we want to do them, and then actually do them. For example, with our weight loss efforts, we can’t say “This is too hard. I’ll never be able to do this.” That is setting oneself up for failure. Instead we can say, “It might not be easy, but I can do this.

I’ve done things much harder than this and succeeded.”

Cultivating the warrior mindset takes time, but it is necessary to achieving goals. Once we have the mindset, we need to gear up with essential armor. As in all endeavors, we must guard our hearts since that is where the issues of life originate. How do we guard our hearts? We take up the armor of God as outlined in Ephesians 6:14-18 to help us stand against the wiles of the devil: “Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and sup-

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plication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints.”

Let’s look at a few of these pieces of armor, as they relate to the battle of the bulge.

The first truth to strap on is that God has given us a new identity in Christ Jesus. The only problem is that many of us don’t know what that means. If we don’t understand the implications of being identified in Christ, then we will continue trying to handle life’s problems in our own strength... and we will continue to fail.

I’m excited about this subject because I honestly believed for several years that once I accepted Christ as my savior, that was basically it. I just tried to do what was right in my own power, feeling more and more defeated when I failed.

I often felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, which manifested itself with excess physical weight.

If we feel that we are unworthy to ask for God’s help on this, then these feelings must be dealt with and end now.

Think about it: if we are saddled with defeat, depression and discouragement, how long will we stick with our new health habits? Not very long!

Consider the following quote by prophetic writer Graham Cooke: “People who feel insignificant remain ineffective and small. They become grasshoppers in their own sight and may never inherit all that Jesus died to give them.”

Remember that we have a new, victorious identity in Christ Jesus. We are more than conquerors.

Just think of the Bible as being one big love letter God has written specifically to help guide us through life’s storms and protect us from unnecessary pain. Gird your waist with the truth of God’s word. “Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, ‘If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free’” (John 8:31). Commit yourself to learning about your true identity in Christ and you shall be free indeed!

PUT ON RIGHTEOUSNESS Several years ago my nephew, six years old at the time, was playing outside with one of his neighborhood friends while I was inside talking with my mother and sister in the den. Suddenly, we heard a large crash and a sharp, cracking noise. We went into the living room and were horrified to see a small rock lying on the living room floor... along with a neat hole in the center of the sliding glass door that was at the front of the house. Although the glass didn’t fall out, the door had hundreds of hairline cracks radiating from the hole in the center. My sister went outside and screamed my nephew’s name. He shuffled around from the back of the house. He tried to maintain an innocent look for a moment, and then he burst into tears when he saw my sister’s angry face. My sister took him inside of the house and sent him to his room as punishment.

A few moments later, I walked past his room and heard him crying inside softly. My heart broke for him. I went inside his room and saw him stretched out on the bed. I asked him if he needed a hug. After a moment’s hesitation, he said “yes.” I hugged him and told him that even though he had made a mistake, it didn’t mean that we didn’t love him. I wiped his tears and gave him another hug before leaving. To this day, he remembers that act of kindness and is grateful for it.

I tell that story as an illustration of the unconditional love God has for us. Because of this love, He sent His son to die for us. By believing on Jesus’ name, we have taken off our old selves and put on God’s righteousness. In simplest terms, the word righteousness means that we are in right standing with God, which means freedom from guilt from past sins. Even if we have made mistakes regarding the stewardship of our body, God is not in heaven wagging his finger at us in disapproval. But He longs for us to walk in wisdom and have peace in all areas of our lives, including our health.

If we are harboring any guilt or shame regarding our weight, God wants to deliver us from it. He loves us no matter what size we are and His love for us will not be any greater at a size 8 than at a size 28.

The Bible says in Romans 8:1, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” God’s grace covers all of our mistakes, whether physically, relationally or sexually. If the God of the universe can give us grace, what right do we have to keep punishing ourselves for them?

Condemnation is one of Satan’s favorite tools. In the book of Revelations, Satan is even called the “accuser of the brethren,” describing him as accusing them before God day and night. In fact, Satan’s other name, Devil, is taken from the Greek word “diabolos,” which means “slanderer, accuser.” The accuser’s tone is unmistakable. It is harsh, mean and cutting. The voice goes to the heart of our insecurities and makes us feel small and worthless.

To counteract any criticism, whether demonic or human, our first step is always to consider the source and the next step is to consider the motive behind the criticism.

In Satan’s case, the source is from a known murderer and liar. But even if we didn’t discount the accusation based on Satan’s character (or lack thereof), then we’d surely do so when we examine his motives behind his accusations.

His motives always fall into three categories: he wants to steal, kill and destroy.

In the case of our weight issues, he wants to: • Steal our desire to do anything about it, even if we have clear evidence that we should • Kill any efforts we are making to change our habits • Destroy our identity in Christ Jesus.

We can’t go out like that! We must fight him and the only way to fight Satan is with the truth of God’s word, rightly wielded. For now, we can meditate on the fact that we have God’s righteousness as a believer. Anchoring ourselves in this confidence is the surest way to allow the breastplate of righteousness to protect our hearts directly as it was designed to do.

SHOES OF PEACE I once read a story about an artist’s competition designed around the theme of peace. The judges challenged the artists to come up with the best way to show peace in action. After several months, the artists returned to show off their works. Picture after picture showed images of paradise... blue skies, flowing streams, blooming flowers.

In spite of the beauty of these works, the judges were dissatisfied with the results. Then they came to one oil painting that they unanimously agreed should win the prize.

The artist had painted a mother robin nurturing her baby chicks in the nest she had built... underneath a roaring waterfall. The turbulent waves splashed all around her.

As the judges looked at the painting, they could almost hear the crashing noises as the water beat against the rocks. Yet, the mother robin seemed not to hear any of the noise or pay attention to the waves. She was concentrating on showing love to her most precious possessions... her children.

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I think that story is a beautiful picture of the peace that Jesus wants to give us. In John 14:27, he says: “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

We all know that life is hard. We might have to deal with relationship problems, financial issues, working long hours. Let’s just call these issues “the storms of life.” Yet, like the mother robin, He wants to build for us a refuge.

He doesn’t promise that we won’t have trouble in this life, but He does promise that we can have peace in the midst of these troubles and we will not be overcome. God promises to walk with us, no matter what life throws at us. Likewise, because we are in Christ and He in us, we are overcomers just like He is.

Whenever I think about this principle, I always think of a favorite movie of mine from the 80’s called “My Bodyguard.” In the movie, a high school student named Cliff was being bullied by the school tough guy. The bully and his friends would torment Cliff just about every day. Then one day Cliff got a brilliant idea after seeing the bullies scatter just from the presence of the school outcast, Ricky Linderman.

In a school in which the boys were probably 5’6” at the most, Linderman was about 6’4” and had a huge build.

Cliff was terrified of Linderman too, but he pushed aside his fear to ask Linderman to be his bodyguard to protect him from the bullies. Linderman agreed and he and Cliff became good friends.

So in a way, God is our Ricky Linderman. He is our shield, our protector, our rock, our fortress. We can have peace and security in the midst of the most challenging situations. And the more we learn about God, and understand His awesome power and majesty, the more peaceful, confident, and secure we will feel. We will know without a doubt that He can help us overcome any problem, including our weight problem.

SHIELD OF FAITH Hebrews 11:6 states: “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” The shield of faith is perhaps one of the most important pieces of spiritual armor in our Christian weight loss quest because the Bible tells us that it has the power to quench the fiery darts of the enemy – that is, to destroy them. That is an awesome power to have at our disposal and priceless in our battle to regain your health.

First of all, let’s examine what faith is. One definition I’ve read about faith is that it is our confidence that God keeps His promises to us. Faith has another component; it is our willingness to walk according to those promises. “What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,’ but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead” (James 2:14-17).

James goes on to say that faith and works go together, because faith is made perfect by works. For this battle, we don’t need dead faith. We need faith that is alive and kicking! So if we say that we believe we can have good health, then we will need to do the work to back up that belief.

Let’s get back to some of the promises God makes to us concerning our health since the definition of faith is our belief that God keeps His promises to us. The Bible is clear about God’s will in this area: He wants to heal us from physical and emotional wounds. In fact, one of God’s names is ‘Jehovah Rapha’, which means ‘The Lord Who Heals You.’ In every case, God’s desire was to bring health and healing. So if we truly have living faith, we not only believe that what God says is true, but we live our life according to that belief. A simple way to put this is we must walk our talk. The Bible tells us that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1).

Each day, we must focus on making our faith alive and flourishing by doing work to support our health, and the healthy body for which we hope will manifest sooner than we think.

Did you find this information on Women Food and God reviews useful? Read my detailed review, other reader comments about the book, and get my FREE special report “Overcoming Emotional Eating God’s Way” so that you can conquer binge eating now at takebackyourtemple.com. You will discover valuable Christian weight loss tips at the site as well.

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On My Own Now: Straight talk from the Proverbs for young Christian women who want to remain pure, debt-free and regret-free.

Now available at www.onmyownnow.com, at Amazon, B&N and a library near you.

Unconventionally conventional wisdom.

SAVE $2400

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BY JULIE ANN

BY JANUARY 1, 2012

The Times Square ball has made its decent into a sea of confetti, calendars are turning over to welcome a fresh start and millions of people are making – and perhaps already breaking – their New Year Resolutions.

According to national polls the second most common resolution people make is to manage money better (behind improving health). As young women, one of the major things we should be considering as we start a new year is getting into the lifelong habit of saving money, which will, in turn, keep us from living in debt. I challenge you to save $100 dollars a month this year. (Already saving that much or more? Then add $100 a month more to your savings.)

I wouldn’t issue that challenge without giving you some tools to make it so. Even if you’re a poor, unemployed college student, these practical tips will help you meet this financial goal by December 31, 2011.

The first thing you need to do is to create a budget – get a handle on your income, spending and the difference between the two. On My Own Now’s Matt Fraser has written an excellent primer on how to develop a budget. Once you see where your money is going, you can decide where to make cuts, what things are draining your checkbook without you realizing it and what wants you are confusing with needs. Also, don’t neglect to budget ten percent for church and charity, as well as budgeting for your savings.

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Now that you’ve taken a hard look at where your money is going, you need to get out your figurative scissors and cut. Let’s say you discover that you drive through the gourmet coffee shop for a $3 cup ‘o joe every day. Now practice your multiplication and you’ll see you are spending $1,095 per year on coffee! I’m picking on coffee, but the same principle can be applied to soda, manicures, cell phone plan add-ons or just about anything. Once you take a hard look at your money outflow, you can determine what you can live without or adjust (i.e. buy an awesome travel mug and bring your coffee from home, buy soda by the case, instead of stopping at a convenience store, or do your health a favor and just give it up, etc.) These potential savings could help you put away anywhere from $20 to $100 dollars per month.

So what about things that you can’t cut out altogether like clothing, electricity and food? Just because you can’t cut them out, doesn’t mean you can’t cut them down.

Single! fashion columnist Tamara Jane has a bunch of great ideas for looking great on less. In “Saving Pennies and the Planet” you’ll learn some quick and easy ways to reduce your utility bills. When grocery shopping, take a calculator to make sure you are getting the best deal and buy larger quantities if you get a price break, never shop when you are hungry, use coupons and shop sales, and equally important, always eat all the food you buy, includ-

ALL THESE SMALL STEPS CAN ADD UP TO SAVING BIG BUCKS. ing leftovers. If you pay $1.99 for a red pepper, use half of it and let the other half rot in the veggie bin, you’ve just wasted $1. Freeze what you doubt you can use before it spoils. Learn more ways to save on groceries in “The Grocery Gauntlet.” Each of these articles I’ve linked here are short and packed full of great info. Take the time now to click through and take notes of ways you can save. You’ve got to put a little time up front into planning and creating new, money-efficient habits if you want to get anywhere on this savings resolution.

Finally, there are plenty of other sneaky ways to save money. Pay cash for almost everything and then drop any change into your piggy bank. Every so often count up the change, roll it up in those paper sleeves and deposit it into your savings. If you don’t use cash, look into getting a debit card that will round up your purchase to the next dollar and put the difference in savings.

If you earn extra cash babysitting, doing odds job or you receive cash gifts on your birthday and holidays, resolve to put that money directly into the bank. If it’s not a part of your normal income that you haven’t included in your budget (by the way, when creating your budget don’t count on these windfalls) you won’t miss it if it goes directly into savings.

Maybe you only need to change your daily coffee routine to save $1,200 this year. Maybe you need to attack all these areas of spending to eek out $10 a month savings from each budget item. Maybe you’re living so close to the bone, that doing all these things at once will still only save about $50 a month. In that case, let me give you a secret weapon for doubling that savings: IDAs (Individual Development Accounts). We’ll be talking more about IDAs in future issues of Single!, but for now, just let me say that with an IDA, every dollar you save for school, car purchase, starting a small business or other significant goals will be matched (one for one) by the IDA program.

Find one near you today and get started now. You have to be of moderate to low income and agree to take some money management classes, but that’s a small trade-off for doubling your money. If you can trim $100 a month from your budget, an IDA will give you $100 more and this time next year, you’ll have $2,400 toward that new car, college, tech school or more.

No matter how you decided to save, I think by this time next year we can be in better financial shape. Now quit watching those college bowl games and go work on those budgets!

All these small steps can add up to saving big bucks.

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FASHION DIVINA

READY TO BE A WIFE? 90-minutes Streaming Audio Workshop

by Christine Pembleton

✐ THE RECAP ✓

BY CHERYL VALLIQUETTE 16

Do you ever feel like everybody has someone - except you?

Do you ever feel like everybody has someone – except you? Does it seem like you were the only girl you know who didn’t get an engagement or promise ring for Christmas? Rest assured, you are in good company. Like birth and death, the time of our wedding should be an hour appointed by God and if we are living obedient to His will, we really don’t need to worry about finding a spouse.

Nonetheless, there’s that impatience – sort of like waiting for Christmas to come. We know God has got a great present for us, but we can just hardly wait to open it!

If you’ve got ants in your pant(ies), perhaps you should channel that energy into making sure you will be ready when God’s time comes. In fact, maybe this is what God is waiting on.

Author Christine Pembleton can help. She offers a free, 90-minute streaming audio workshop to help you determine if you are indeed “Ready to Be a Wife.” To be frank, the audio program promotes her book of the same title and her cyber-coaching biz, “Wife in Waiting Transformation Program.”

Pembleton seeks to reach single women who really want to be married, but just aren’t. She was that woman once and she promised the Lord that if He would bless her with marriage that she would not forget what it felt like to be a woman stuck in singleness, but that she would share and help other women. She cried out to God – like the widow in Luke 18 – she wouldn’t be silent, and kept seeking. It paid off for her, and now she offers some advice for others who were in her shoes.

First of all, Pembleton says not to ask whether marriage is for you. “Know that marriage makes sense to God!” says Pembleton. Marriage is a relationship that accomplishes more than one person could alone. So it’s alright to ask the Lord to give you a husband to help you be more excellent in your strengths and to accomplish more for His glory than you could by yourself.

Maybe you’ve met someone special, but you’re wondering if he really loves you. For this predicament, Pembleton answers these three questions: What is love? How is love communicated? And what does being in love feel like?

She backs her informative answers with scripture.

Regardless of your status, Pembleton’s free audio workshop will help single women to recognize their worth as God’s creation. She reminds us that God created us to be able to receive love from people around us. And when we are hurt, God is able to heal and make us whole.

We may agree with God that we deserve to be loved, but do we love ourselves? Pembleton recommends that wives in waiting will be attractive to others when they love themselves and believe in their own worth. “Don’t chase the bee,” says Pembleton, “Become honey. Embrace who you are and become the wonderful person God created you to be.

I believe Christine Pembleton has a sincere passion to help women who desire to be married to attract the man the Lord has planned for them to marry. Scripture and biblical principles are foremost in her action steps for success. So instead of waiting around for the phone to ring, let’s use our timely wisely so when the moment comes, we will be Ready to Be a Wife.

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IS THERE A RESUME IN YOUR FUTURE?

Are you resolved to find a new job in 2011? If so, a resume review is in your future. Vamping or revamping a resume is somewhat like writing a persuasive essay or making a good speech. We have to present ourselves in a way that will convince potential employers that we would make good employees. This one-page summary of who we are and why the company should hire us needs to clearly and concisely communicate why we are a good match for the open position. It’s the resume that determines if we get an interview, and the interview, the job.

The first thing to know about resumes is that it is not necessary to hire a professional to put one together. Even if we’re clueless on such matters, chances are we know someone who will help. Barter a homemade dinner or night at the movies in exchange for a friend or relative’s time in helping craft your resume. With the many sample and real resumes that can be found online now, it’s easy to find a style and tone that fits our needs. BestSampleResume.com has resumes from about 50 categories of employment, as well as many resume-writing helps.

With a few good samples at the ready, the next thing to do is collect all the info we will need to put the resume together.

With this in hand, the resume can come together quickly – in about an hour.

INFO YOU NEED • •

• • •

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Name and contact information – obviously.

Name, contact info and dates attended for all schools and training. If you have a college degree, no need to list high school, unless you attended a particular school that might get you brownie points with your perspective employer, such as a hoity-toity private school.

Name, contact info and dates for all significant past employment.

Titles and dates of any awards, publications or presentations that are relevant to the job search.

Dated list of volunteer activities (and names of organizations).

by JEFFREY BRIDGMAN

ELEMENTS OF THE RESUME Now that we have the ingredients for a good resume, we should craft a basic resume, and then we may need to tailor our resume to specific job openings.

The objective statement is one of the easiest places to customize a resume for a specific opening. Although these statements aren’t necessary, they can help clarify career goals.

The statement should be a good match with the company we want to work for and should be substantive. Say something more than “I want to work for you” in so many words. Tell the prospective employer about your goals and how working for this company can help you achieve them.

What comes next depends on our strengths. If we are a recent grad without much experience, list education next. If we have some professional accomplishments that are relevant to our new job search, list experience next. Either way, list work and education in reverse chronological order – most recent first.

For education info, include GPA and class rank only if impressive. Include honor societies, study abroad, and of course, the certificate/degree/diploma earned and either the date earned or the date by which we anticipate earning it.

When listing work experience, visually and verbally focus attention on things that demonstrate initiative, responsibility, leadership and achievements. Explain how well you did the job, as opposed to what the job consisted of. Also important, but not the primary focus, should be company, job title and dates worked. Exceptions here will include high profile companies or easily recognized titles, such as Time Warner and Executive Director, President or Founder (don’t laugh!). Bury titles like “intern” and “customer service rep.”

Particularly important for those in technical fields is a skills section. Examples include programming languages and software packages. These can also be packaged as “Competencies” and expanded to list soft skills such as typing speed, familiarity with office equipment, foreign language fluency, etc.

JUST W you HAT

NEED Finally, honors, awards and activities, including volunteer work, hobbies and significant travel, demonstrate your dedication and involvement, as well as giving you an on-paper personality. This is more important when lacking much work experience.

TIPS Stats are that a resume gets just seconds of consideration before the interviewer either trashes it or reads further. Keep it to one page, but if you have to use two, put the meat up front and center on page one. Use bullet points, which are quicker to read and scan. Use a good balance of white space, keeping the design consistent, professional and simple.

Use standard serif fonts (san serif is okay for headers). Don’t try to be unconventional with design, unless the job has something to do with artistic ability. Keep things organized and visually grouped together.

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single!

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Be honest. If you land a job based on exaggerated qualities or skills, it will be obvious that someone lied on their resume, and that’s not the way to start out a new professional relationship.

Resumes don’t have to tell everything. A well-written cover letter will add more depth to our resume and we can tell the rest in the interview.

Of extreme importance, have someone else who has not worked on the resume proofread it and critique it. Colleges have a career development centers, and in high school, use the guidance counselor to proof and critique.

Print the resume on good quality paper, in white, cream or other very light shade. Best bet is to take it to a local copy shop and ask for a laser print-out on a good linen paper.

This may sound like a lot to consider, but when we bite the bullet and sit down in front of the computer, it’s fairly painless and over quickly. Being thorough and respecting the necessity of a professional resume are two concrete steps toward the job of our dreams.

GENUINE V MOTIV TION YOUNG CHRISTIAN MAN