Single! Young Christian Woman December 2011

single!

A P U B L I C AT I O N O F O N M Y O W N N O W M I N I S T R I E S

DEC

/ 11

Young Christian Woman

7Healthy and

Festive Food Gifts

Don’t Judge Me! (I’ll Try Not to Judge You)

Intentional Acts of Kindness Commit One Today

The Not-so-Obvious Christmas Gift Guide w w w. o n m y o w n n o w. c o m

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in this

issue...

Straight Talk from the Proverbs Do You Deliver?

by Donna Lee Schillinger Moving Out...Settling In Don’t Judge Me! (And I’ll Try Not to Judge You)

by Kimberly M. Schluterman

Center Ring Add One More to Your Gift List: A Total Stranger Intentional Acts of Kindness

by Donna Lee Schillinger Reba Ray's Downhome Healthy Cookin'...

7 Festive (and Healthy) Food Gifts The Recap on Friendship for Grown-Ups by Lisa Welchel Review by Cheryl Valliquette Spare change Charities at Christmas: Desperately Seeking Donations

by Julie Ann Just What You Need The Not-So-Obvious Christmas Gift Guide

by Jeffrey Bridgman

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Walking Man: A Modern Missions Experience in Latin America By Narciso Zamora Winner of the 2008 Next Generation Indie Book Award, this odyssey of a Peruvian delinquent’s winding and treacherous path toward finding his calling in missions recounts a literal journey of 10,000 miles.

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White Collar Skid Row by Melissa Ann Bell Melissa thought her faith was strong, but when she fell in love with and married a charming doctor, in rehab for alcoholism, she quickly became his enabler and their relationship challenged all she believed about herself and her faith. White Collar Skid Row is a wake-up call for any woman who thinks she might be impervious to falling for the wrong man. Paperback 302pp. On sale $11

On My Own Now: Straight Talk from the Proverbs for Young Christian Women who Want to Remain Pure, Debt-free and Regret-free By Donna Lee Schillinger This compact collection of quirky vignettes, based on gender-reversed Proverbs, is great for daily devotions, affirmations, confessions, benedictions and many other religious “tions,” all with the goal of keeping you on the yellow brick road. After all, you’re not in Kansas anymore – you’re on your own now.

978-0-9791639-5-1 Softcover, 288 pp. © 2008 On sale $11 at OnMyOwnNow.com; Abridged Audiobook (MP3 download) On sale $11; Kindle edition available.

Also in Spanish: Por Mi Cuenta Ahora: Una Conversación Directa de los Proverbios para Mujeres Jóvenes Cristianas que Quieren Permanecer Puras, Libres de Deudas y Arrepentimientos Por Donna Lee Schillinger. Free e-book at www.VivaLaPureza.info Purity’s Big Payoff/Premarital Sex is a Big Rip-off is a collection of 17 first-person narratives about successfully waiting for marriage to have sex – or not – and the consequences of those decisions.

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In the Care of Angels: God’s Work Through Adoption (both Physical and Spiritual)

By Dorothy Grace Manning Kennedy A tender story of a selfless act that addresses critical issues for those considering adoption. Softcover, 86pp.

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straight talk

N N Do You Deliver?

By Donna Lee Schillinger

Like clouds and wind without rain is a woman who boasts of gifts she does not give.

Proverbs 25:14

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ast Christmas, we were in Brazil as part of a nine-month stay in South America. We had friends there whose closest family was six hours away, and since they lacked the resources to travel, we planned to spend Christmas Day together. I was excited to share a traditional American Christmas meal with our South American friends, so I shopped for and planned on doing most of the cooking.

A few days before Christmas, our friends were actually excited to tell us that one of their relatives had decided to pay for their trip so that they could be with their extended family on Christmas. This was slightly problematic because now we had all this food, but were also planning to leave on a trip two days after Christmas. No way could we eat all the leftovers before leaving! But the real problem was that it hurt my feelings – a lot. I had already envisioned that day in my head,

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and now a reality of spending Christmas alone was impending. This would be pathetic enough in the United States, but to be alone and in a foreign country – salt in the wound.

Another family in our church had invited us to their house, but we had turned them down. I contemplated the idea of asking them if we could still come over, but so close to Christmas? Inviting yourself over for Christmas dinner is to be generally avoided, but if you have to do it, there should at least be a week’s notice involved. It was quite humbling, but for the sake of my sad little family, I asked our church friends if we could crash their Christmas. They were gracious and we had a wonderful day; however, a basic trust I had in our other friends was fractured.

Delivering on what we have promised seems simple enough, and yet it is one of the most difficult things to pull off in adult life. It’s also one of the most important.

First of all, our credibility is at stake. People may forgive us once, for instance, if we said we’d meet them and then blew them off, but do it again and we’ve earned a reputation.

Secondly, our relationships are at stake. If we don’t do what we say we’re going to do, we will inevitably hurt the people we love.

When we make promises or plans and

from the proverbs

don’t see them through, we undermine the security of the people involved. This is especially true if they know our intentions are good and sometimes we actually do come through. By occasionally going through with our plans, we provide intermittent reinforcement for others to trust in us. Just like a slot machine that occasionally pays off, our friends and loved ones will be hooked on betting on the outcome of our promises. Maybe this time what we say will come to pass. Maybe this time… It would almost be more humane for an unreliable person never to come through with a promise, rather than to reinforce intermittently the hope of reliability.

For planning purposes (if not to guard our hearts), we have to put people into one of two camps: Some people deliver, some don’t. It’s easy enough to figure out which of the two camps others fit into, but discerning this about ourselves is more difficult – and may require a level of self-assessment we just can’t handle.

If you’ve been surrounded by people who didn’t deliver (even despite good intentions), you have two choices: you can either become like them or vow never to be like them. Chances are if you become like them, you won’t consciously make the choice, it will just happen without much contemplation.

However, if you become nothing like them, that will have resulted from a clear purpose and active choice. Just like the young woman who says she’ll never smoke because she hated that her mother smoked, you can be the person who always does what she says because you hated when your mother built up your hopes with empty promises. You can turn your negative past into a positive future by choosing not to become like the people who hurt you. And when you realize one day that you are different, you can even be grateful for the negative experiences because they helped you become a positive person.

It’s never too late to start being different from the people who disappoint us. Start by fulfilling a small promise to yourself today.

Hold this thought: I do what I say I’m going to do.

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moving out

Don’t Judge Me!

(And I’ll Try Not to Judge You)

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o I really hate public restrooms. I hate that other people can hear me pee. I think that’s gross. I also think it’s gross to hear other people pee—or do other things. Some people can just do their business in a public restroom without any embarrassment at all, but I am definitely not one of them.

There are two ladies restrooms on each floor of the building where most of my classes are: one of them has several stalls; the other has only one. Naturally, I tend to go to the one with only one stall, even if it’s further away, because there are fewer people and more privacy.

But the other day, I realized the down side to having only one stall.

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by Kimberly M. Schluterman The smell accosted me as soon as I walked into the restroom. Obviously the blonde girl who walked out as I walked in had done her business in there. Ewww!!! So I had to hold my nose while I went in to empty my bladder. The smell was really intense! But I made it out alive, and as I was washing my hands, another girl walked in. Suddenly I was

"When you walk into a bathroom that smells, do you always assume that the person walking out did it?"

horrified to realize that she probably thought I had been the one to stink up the restroom so badly!

What would she think of me?! Ok, I never said I was altogether rational. I’m just being honest here.

Later, as I jokingly relayed the story to a friend, her question caught me completely off guard: “Well, when you walk into a bathroom that smells, do you always assume that the person walking out did it?”

I had to honestly tell her that yes, I suppose I did. And apparently, that was wrong. Because if the girl behind me assumed that I had done it, she’d have been wrong. Maybe it wasn’t the blonde girl after all.

settling In

You've probably heard the adage, But in order to hate sin, don't you first have to have judged that a behavior was sinful?

As I pondered my friend’s surprisingly profound response, I began to wonder about what other things I might incorrectly judge a stranger. Yesterday at our football tailgate, for example, I drank water out of a red Solo cup and felt mildly conscious of the fact that an onlooker might assume I had an alcoholic beverage in it. I mean, that’s what I would generally assume of someone else in that situation. (For readers who may not know, Arkansas law requires that public drinking of alcohol be from an unlabeled cup. You can’t just carry your beer can on the street.)

You’ve probably heard the adage, “Hate the sin, not the sinner.” But in order to hate sin, don’t you first have to have judged that a behavior was sinful? Whereas I don’t think it’s ever okay to subscribe motives to other people’s behav-

ior, I have written here before about the behavior of other people that I judged to be wrong (as well as some of my own behavior that I knew was wrong). In cases of those clearly, biblically defined sins, God has already judged and all we are doing is agreeing with the judgment; however, most cases aren’t so clearly cut. Matthew 7:1-2 says, “Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.” While it may be ok—even wise sometimes—to discern that a specific behavior is wrong, remember that judging the person herself, or her motives, is always wrong.

As quick as we are to judge others, it’s ironic that we often lack the ability to judge ourselves. People often do and say sinful things

without realizing it. I’m positive that I do, and I am positive that others do. And when someone points out that what I have done is sinful, I can become indignant.

I honestly had no intention of sinning and I wasn’t aware of it when it happened. “But I never meant to…” may be a perfectly true way to begin your defense, but does it mean we are innocent? When the finger is pointing in our direction, we should earnestly evaluate whether or not it’s merited before we dismiss it as false accusation. Hopefully, the person pointing out the sin has only judged the behavior—and not the person or motives behind it.

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center ring

Add One More to Your Gift List A Total Stranger

Intentional Acts of Kindness

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Th I A at Gu on lwa y th y e C See orn er

By Donna Lee Schillinger

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osh’s aunt was in the hospital – terminal cancer. She rarely had an appetite, but on Josh’s asking if there was anything he could get her, “Taco Bell” came to mind. So off he went to buy a quesadilla for his dying aunt. As he approached the drive-thru, a car cut in front of him. Being a quick-tempered youth, this rude act was, by itself, enough to make him curse, but when he considered that this jerk was really cutting off his awaiting aunt, it made his blood boil. So imagine his surprise when he arrived at the drive-thru window to pay his bill, only to find out that the driver of the car in front of him had paid his bill.

It was a random act of kindness. When she learned of it, Josh’s aunt reflected on the timing and how that person could not have known that he would touch the heart of a woman with few meals left to eat on this earth. Josh broke down in tears.

This true story (listen to the story here) took place as a result of St. Paul, Minnesota’s, Christian radio station KTIS program called Drive-thru Difference, in which it encourages listeners to pay for the person behind them in the drive-thru, a random act of kindness that is followed up with a flyer about the radio station.

This is a win-win advertising idea, but there are also plenty of random acts of kindness going on out there that have no advertising motive. Maybe you’ve been the recipient of one yourself. Maybe you’ve been the doer of one yourself.

Beyond the bumper sticker, there is a surprisingly large movement of people – both religious and humanist – that value and practice random acts of kindness. As Christians, we are called to intentional acts of kindness, however random they may seem to the recipient. In fact, one of the fruits of the Spirit is kindness (Gal. 5:22). We are commanded to be kind

We can't be concerned with how our kindness is received or whether it is appreciated. Even if it is thrown back in our faces, we are in good company with God the Father who has been there/done that.

to each other (Eph. 4:32), and a kindness toward the poor is actually a loan to God, which comes back with interest (Prov. 19:17).

So, with such compelling scriptural rationale for kindness, I have to ask: When was the last time you did a kind deed toward someone you don’t know? In Luke 6, Jesus says, “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. But love your enemies, do good to them…Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.”

These verses make clear that our kindness cannot be limited to friends and family. If we want to be like Heavenly Daddy, we’re gonna have to expand our acts of kindness – even to people who we might consider wicked and ungrateful. This last characteristic is key in establishing a right attitude for our acts of kindness.

We must not be concerned with how our kindness is received or whether it is appreciated. Even if it is thrown back in our faces, we are in good company with God the Father who has been there/done that.

If we tune our ears and eyes to the Spirit’s leading, we will begin to see many ways we can extend kindness, in a seemingly random fashion. And I am NOT talking about helping someone out on Farmville or Yoville, but rather real acts of kindness in the real world. The Random Act of Kindness Foundation’s Web site hosts stories and resources about the benefits of kindness.

Their resource links are impressive. Spend some time on the site and click through links for a long, warm fuzzy. It is uplifting to learn how kindness really does matter to so many people.

In fact, some people are completely sold out to it, like Bob, the founder of One Million Acts of Kindness.

He and his dog Bogart travel in a funky bus to college

campuses and the like to inspire young people to set for themselves the goal of committing one million acts of kindness in their lifetimes.

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You might not be ready for that sort of commitment, but I challenge you today to start tuning your heart into this fruit of the Spirit by saying, “Yes, Lord,” when opportunities present themselves. Why not start this month by giving a gift for Jesus’s birthday to someone else. Add one more to your gift list and let us know the impact of that kindness on you or the recipient.

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by Reba Ray

Reba Ray’s

7 Festive

(and Healthy) Food Gifts

merry`christmas`and`happy`new`year`from`reba`ray

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hen yur parents were kids, exchangin’ a fruitcake between neighbors or co-workers used to be the thing to do at the holidays. Now people are all nutty over the fruitcake’s Italian cousin, the panettone. If you’ve never got one of these for Christmas, don’t feel bad. In fact, count yurself as downright lucky, because fur bein’ all fancy and foreign, they aren’t a lick better than a fruitcake. I actually prefer fruitcake!

Bread with green cherries notwithstandin’, I do enjoy gettin’ goodies at Christmastime and I enjoy givin’ em too. They make a great gift you can make in bulk, keepin’ costs low, and deliver in love to those folks for whom you can’t afford to buy a bathrobe or a BluRay. But let’s get real: Who needs a bunch a more fattenin’ stuff at the holidays? So here’s some great, healthy food gift ideas, most of which keep a good long time so they can be enjoyed through New Year’s and beyond. Now I have my favorite recipes for all of these ideas, but if I were to list them all – well, I’d miss my press deadline. So instead I linked ya to some good recipes from other sites, my preference bein’ for the independent foodie (that’s Reba’s gift to them). Let’s start with my one exception to this.

Aunt Yutha's Sweet Potato Casserole

Is this a side dish or a dessert? It’s so delish, you’ll be hard-pressed to figure that out, and you’ll eat it for breakfast too! Buy a few of those disposable aluminum square baking pans with lids and double, triple or even quadruple this recipe. Don’t forget to save one of these to take with you to wherever you’re eatin’ Christmas dinner.

1 large can yams, drained and mashed ½ stick softened margarine or butter ½ tsp. salt 2 eggs

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2 tbsp flour 2 tsp vanilla ½ cup sugar Preheat oven to 350 degrees and grease a square baking dish. Mix everything together and pour into the dish. Now mix up the toppin’ ingredients in a bowl and crumble evenly over the casserole: ½ stick melted margarine or butter ½ cupur ½ cup brown sugar Finally, make a fancy pattern on top of the casserole with pecan or walnut halves. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes.

Gingerbread: Cookies, Loaf or Scones

Not only does nothin’ say holiday better, but gingerbread is a much healthier choice for a holiday sweet, as it uses lots of iron-rich molasses instead of sugar.

Add some edge to the tradition by making scones, or…

Biscotti in a Box

Perfect for the coffee and tea lovers on your list, try healthier versions like (you guessed it) gingerbread biscotti or nut and seed biscotti. Dip the top half in a chocolate or powdered sugar glaze and sprinkle with green or red decorating sugar and present in a tin or holiday box.

Orange-Ginger, Pistachio or Other Healthy Muffins

Who doesn’t love muffins? (Don’t answer that!)

But I stopped eatin’ em because they pack a meal’s worth of calories each. So I suggest you gift yur friends with mini muffins – and investin’ in a mini muffin pan will be a gift for yurself too. Make extras to throw in yur own freezer. A couple a minis make for a quick, hot and healthy breakfast or snack well into January.

down-home healthy cookin’ for one on a budget

Chunky Chutneys

Talk about yur comebacks – chutney used to be country, old folk food, but now it’s gone gourmet with just all kinds of possibilities of ingredients and uses. So get yur gourmet on with a chutney creation of yur own. Visit IndianFoodForever.com as a gateway to 30 different chutney recipes, such as spicy pineapple, mint mango, and guava, and let yur imagination and favorite flavors create a Chutney of yur own. My personal favorite is apricot/ginger/ lime, but for a Christmas gift, you might try incorporatin’ cranberries with orange and pomegranate.

Buy canning jars and dress them up with custom labels and ribbons, or visit the dollar store for some cheap, decorative glass containers. With all year to plan, you can scout garage sales for fun chutney receptacles, or recycle jars from yur favorite pickle relish, olives or other jarred food to ease the strain on yur wallet and the environment.

Custom Blend of Herbs and Spices

KFC put 13 herbs and spices together and has made a killin’. Who knows but what you’ve not got the next big secret recipe in yur noggin, just waitin’ to be concocted. You can layer the spices or blend ‘em in pint jars, or make several blends in smaller containers and give each person a collection like these featured on The Leftover Queen. Print on fancy paper and laminate a few recipes including each blend if you think the recipient might need a little help learning to use yur custom blend.

Infused Oil

Oh, well ain’t that a fancy way of sayin’ “olive oil with stuff in it.” It’s back to the dollar store to find some interestin’ but inexpensive glass containers with lids. Old wine bottles work well too, but what would you be doin’ with old wine bottles??? Buy a big ole container of yur basic olive oil (no need to spring for somethin’ extra virgin and cold-pressed, cuz yur add-ins are gonna take care of that flavor problem for ya) and divvy it up between the containers. Now add yur stuff, like peppercorns, herb sprigs (basil, rosemary, flat-leaf parsley), peeled garlic cloves, sun-dried tomatoes, slices of lemon, lime or orange.

Finish this gift off with a hearty loaf of multigrain bread from yur local bakery or Panera, that is, if yur not a bread baker yurself. (You may recall my irrational fear of working with yeast, which is why I’m pointin’ you to a store for a loaf of bread.)

Now don’t rush off with a bunch a naked food to give as gifts. Be sure you dress it up pretty for the holidays. You might wrap it in a dishtowel, making the gift one towel nicer, fancy up a paper bag, or use one of the nifty ideas from Country Living. I also favor many of the tips by Peggy Trowbridge Filippone.

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Well, hope this helps you cook up somethin’ special for the holidays, and if yur in the neighborhood, don’t forget to stop by my house with some of the fruits of yur labor!

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the recap

Fact of Life:

Friendships Take Effort

Review by Cheryl Valliquette

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s a teenager, actress Lisa Whelchel had a leading role in the 1970s television sitcom “The Facts of Life.” She grew up on the television set, where all her character’s problems of friendship were solved in a 30-minute program (including commercial breaks!). So it comes as little surprise that when she became an adult, she struggled with real friendships. She learned to put up a front of perfection as a way to have and keep friends, but what was lacking was a real friend who knew the real Lisa.

In Friendship for Grown-ups: What I Missed & Learned Along the Way, Whelchel shares principles she learned later in life but are well applied to friendship among the young and old alike. One of these lessons is about choosing a friend who won’t betray confidence. Whelchel thought she had a friend like this, but when she finally let down her guard to this person with a seemingly sympathetic and caring ear, the friend shared her secrets with others. She admits that her first clue should have been that this “friend” often shared others’ secrets

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with her, and warns her readers to look for this same red flag in their own “friendships.” Whelchel is quick to point out, however, that it’s alright to need someone to listen to you. Friendship is a twoway street and neither person should always have to be the strong one. It’s just as important to be needy with safe and loyal people.

Whelchel describes a friend as someone who will listen, pray and be a sympathetic shoulder to cry on. Friends help each other research a biblical solution. A friend rejoices when we rejoice and weeps when we weep. A friend loves unconditionally, even when we share the “good, the bad and the ugly.” Sounds like Jesus Christ, doesn’t it? So a good friend will be Christ-like. And finally, a good friend will help keep us accountable to be that Christ-like friend to her (or him)!

While Whelchel’s message about basic friendship is good – if not deep – I found myself thinking that I would probably fall short of being able to fulfill the role of friend to someone with Whelchel’s level

of neediness. Not shockingly, others have failed her. Whelchel admits to having bared her soul to someone she believed to be a BFF, only to learn later that that person wasn’t as heavily invested in the relationship as she was.

Whelchel turned to a professional counselor, who in time helped her to deal with some of this underlying neediness that was undermining real friendships. She learned from Psychologist Henry Cloud: “You can move toward others, get socially involved, and have relationships, but still be isolated.” Whelchel was able to heal and find friends when she stopped obsessing over the problem of not having any friends, and rather, started trusting the Lord. God answered her prayer right where she was in her daily walk and work.

For those who sense they may also be somewhat emotionally high maintenance in the friendship category, this book may help you identify with deep hurts like Whelchel has felt, and address your own “neediness.”

www.LisaWhelchel.com Friendship for Grown-ups: What I Missed and Learned Along the Way by Lisa Whelchel, $21.99 ($14.80 on Amazon) Hardcover: 240 pp. ISBN 978-1400202775

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Spare Change

Desperately Seeking Donations ~Charities at Christmastime

by Julie Ann

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is the season for giving! Oh and not just those pretty shiny presents under your twinkling tree. It’s a key time of the year for charitable giving as well.

With the holiday-giving spirit in people’s hearts and year-end tax deductions on their minds, charities and non-profits know it’s the best time to seek donations.

But how do you know what charity to support? How do you know that the money you are giving actually goes to where you think it is going? How much should you give? What about those tax deductions? Here are a few helpful tips to help you make the most of your charitable giving this holiday season.

Did you know that there are about 1.4 million charities in the United States that you could support? With that many options, how do you know which one(s) you should support? Chances are you already have a passion for something in your heart. Is your passion making sure kids have school supplies, helping no-kill animal shelters, feeding the homeless in your community or supporting cancer research? Do you want to support your local community, the nation, or the world? Do you want to support a smaller organization with a limited focus or a massive well-known organization? Before giving any support, take some time to sit down to reflect and pray about where you should give. If you are having trouble

making a decision, a good place to start is by reading the charity’s mission statement.

Once you have decided which charity to support, you should do a little supplemental research to ensure your donation is being used prudently. A good charity should clearly have statements and reports on its Web site showing you how much money they raise, how that money is distributed, and evidence of how their money is bringing results. If you are supporting a local charity, arrange a visit to its facility or office for a first-hand look at what you will be supporting. You can also use Web sites such as www. charitynavigator.org or run a search for reviews for an outside perspective on the charity.

The next big question you should ask yourself is how much should I give? On the practical side, many organizations will provide the amount needed (i.e. $30 per month to feed a child in Africa or $250 to send an inner-city kid to summer camp in the mountains), and if this fits into your budget, then it’s an easy way to make the decision. On the spiritual side, there’s the question of whether your charitable giving goes above and beyond your tithe or is a part of it. There are arguments for both perspectives, so inform yourself, seek advice from your mentors and prayerfully consider this issue before building into your budget the amount you will give. In addition to regular charitable giving, consider a “rainy day” amount for unexpected donations such as natural disaster relief or to support a cancer walk for a friend’s sudden illness.

While many charitable organizations can certainly use your money, many can also use the gift of your time. Whether it’s serving meals to the homeless or doing basic office paperwork, volunteering can be priceless. It’s easy to write a check to an organization each month and then forget about the work they are doing. Getting involved will help you truly see the results of your giving. Everyone has time to give even if they don’t always have the cash to give.

Finally, besides the warm-fuzzy feeling of knowing you are helping a cause, Uncle Sam will also reward you with a tax deduction (if you itemize your deductions), provided the charity has been determined to be exempt under IRS code 501(c)(3). Most exempt

charities have statements to that effect on their literature, letterhead and Web sites. Be sure to keep paperwork (request receipts) to back up your giving report in case of an IRS audit. For example, hang onto cancelled checks or bank statements clearly showing the organization’s name, date, and amount of the gift. Also, if you donate clothes or household goods to a charity, you can claim that as giving, so be sure to get paperwork verifying this. There are plenty of resources on the Internet that will help you navigate what you can claim in your deductions, or you can consult a tax professional if you need assistance.

You can also consult the latest IRS guidelines on their charitable giving Web site.

As you give this holiday season, may God bless you abundantly and may you feel the joy of giving in your heart all year long.

volunteering can be pricesless

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by

Just What You

Jeffrey Bridgman

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re you as lost as I am when it comes to getting Christmas gifts for others? Here are some conventional and not-so-conventional ideas to get you started!

The Obvious

that sell for $200 or less. And don’t discount refurbished items (on sale through manufacturers’ and major retailers’ Web sites) for even greater savings on perfectly functioning electronics. Just be careful you don’t get infected by tech-envy.

The Not-so-Obvious Christmas Gift Guide

Gift cards: They’re the automatic fallback when we have no idea what to get someone.

As cliché as they may seem, gift cards may still be one of your best options. A little bit of stalking your target and some clever questioning should help you figure out what kind of gift card to get. Whatever you do, do not pay face value for a gift card, unless it is for a local business. If you are flexible on the amount and retailer, use a discount gift card sight, like PlasticJungle.com to get up to 35% off the face value of gift cards and free shipping. All others: spring for a Christmas card to “wrap” it in. And if you happen to remember on December 23 someone significant who also lives at a distance, gift cards can save the day with immediate, e-mail delivery.

Shiny gadgets: Everybody likes them, right? Although a bit pricey, if you want to wow somebody, it may be the way to go. There are ways to mitigate costs too. The most basic Kindle (Amazon’s e-book reader) is now only $79. Tablets, such as the iPad, that used to cost $400-500 now have cheaper brands

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Need Entertainment: If you know what kind of music, movies or games the people on your list like, you can save them the hassle of buying it themselves with your gift card.

The Not-So-Obvious

The gift of backup: Good friends don’t let friends not have backups. Whether it’s an external hard drive, USB key, or online service, there’s no excuse for not backing up. Your operating system probably comes with backup software built in. You can set it up for your friends, parents, and grandparents. Too impersonal? How about converting your family’s old photos, home videos, and slides to digital media? Since it’s so easy to make copies of those, why not give copies to all of your family members? Or create a photo book online, at Walmart or another retail photography store.

Handmade gifts: Unlike the shiny gadget option above, hand-made gifts are usually found pretty cheap. But small meaningful gifts on which you spent considerable time and effort may be far more valuable than anything money could buy. Let’s go back to those family photos. You can take inspiration from their favorite things or use an inside joke and make something special out of it. Try visiting craft stores like Hobby Lobby for inspiration. One favorite idea is to make a personalized scripture jar for someone special. For example, maybe a friend or relative suffered a loss of a spouse or parent in

the last months. You could find a daily scripture with themes of hope, renewal and encouragement to print or write out on decorative paper and then drop in a hand-decorated box or jar. Each day the recipient can pick out a scripture and think of you.

The thing that changed my life: Maybe it’s a book, song, movie, or a piece of art, but you can share it, inscribed or with a tasteful note explaining why it is special to you. For me it might be a book by C.S. Lewis that got me through a hard time in my life, or a movie that isn’t full of special effects, but tells a beautiful and moving story, nonetheless.

Letters: Don’t know what to buy Mom? A letter telling her how much you appreciate her may mean far more to her than any gift you could buy. Alternatively, if you have a large extended family, you probably aren’t going to buy gifts for everyone, but you could send out a letter, letting them know you miss them and what’s going on in your life.

Time: Maybe the biggest gift you can give is your time. That may mean taking the time to write out an e-mail to a distant friend, or giving them a call.

You might just spend some time hanging out and chatting with someone instead of rushing through your day. Or maybe it means doing something a bit more organized, like a...

Trip: Take a trip to some place special. Maybe a scenic drive or a weekend road trip together to see

their favorite band, or you could just go shopping or see a movie together.

Helping out: You can volunteer your time for some good cause, such as helping with your church’s Christmas program, or even helping to decorate for your family Christmas celebration. The gift of service is always a good gift. How about detailing a friend or relative’s car?

Charity: It is becoming increasingly more popular to make a charitable contribution in honor of a friend or loved one in lieu of a gift to that person.

This makes so much sense – socially and spiritually – that it’s a bandwagon we all should jump on. The options are countless: food banks, homeless shelters, programs such as Toys for Tots which give gifts to children, or choosing to sponsor a child through organizations such as Compassion or WorldVision, Heifer International, Mercy Ships, Smile Train and local charities like the crisis pregnancy center or even a gift to a university.

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Prayer: You can pray for the persecuted Church, for unsaved friends, or for the spiritual growth of family members. The gift of prayer can be a powerful gift from a righteous woman!

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