CHUCKLES FROM DOWN UNDER....

First Things First

“If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would I get into Heaven?” I asked my Sunday School class.

“No!” the children all answered.

“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the lawn, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into Heaven?”

Again, the answer was “No!”

“Well,” I continued, “then how can I get into Heaven?”

A five-year-old boy shouted, “You’ve got to be dead!”

The top jockey had drawn the favorite as his mount for the big race, and all were convinced they would be the winning combination.

They began the race well; however, at the 200m mark, a tablecloth hit horse and rider in the face. At the 400m mark, a bowl of salad came hurtling toward them. Then at the 800m, 1000m, and 1200m marks respectively, they were hit with bread rolls, chicken drumsticks, and a leg of ham. At the 1500m mark, there came a champagne bottle while at the 1800m mark, they were hit by a picnic basket.

Needless to say, rather than coming first, they came a dismal last.

When asked by the perplexed commentators what had happened, the jockey simply replied, “We were seriously hampered!”

Keep on smiling!

Warm Regards, Jane Sullivan

Dressing

I usually eyeball these ingredients, but here is a recipe from Taste of Home for reference.1

• 1/2 c. olive oil

• 1/4 c. red wine vinegar

• 2 tbsp. lemon juice

• 2 garlic cloves, minced

• 1 tsp. grainy Dijon mustard

• 1/2 tsp. salt

• 1/4 tsp. pepper

• 1/2 tsp. dried oregano (or fresh if you have it on hand)

In a jar with a tight-fitting lid, combine all ingredients. Shake well.