“Heated” Seats

By Dr. Doug Ford, Production Animal Consultation, & Dr. Greg Quakenbush, Geissler Corp.

Heated pickup seats are the greatest invention ever. There is nothing better than to bask in the therapeutic grip of luxury after a long day spent out in the freezing wind and cold. For many years I had no idea what I was missing, stuck in the medieval days of cold vinyl and crankup windows. I have since seen the light, never to return to the dark ages.

You can only imagine my horror one recent below-zero November morning when the magic red button failed to fire up my newfound friend on the driver’s side. I fell into a deep depression and panic. An emergency of epic proportion! Hoping my nightmare would be quickly resolved, I checked the appropriate fuses and connections believing it would be a simple fix. No such luck! I immediately set my GPS to the nearest dealership. Being a well-known celebrity in the county, a few worm pills and dog shots for the service manager and he agreed to take the case. The tech got me right in after a two-hour wait. He methodically dialed in his computer, pushed on the seat like a chiropractor on a mission, and we were set. Our 10-minute encounter came to $150. Oh well, it was worth the trouble. With a big smile, I hooked my seat belt and headed west.

I made it about five miles before my blood ran cold. You guessed it, no heated seat. My response was an abrupt U-turn. The service manager caught my disgusted look out of the corner of his eye and exclaimed, “She must be intermittent.” We rescheduled for the following week when the appropriate parts would be in. (Let the games begin.) In reality, it would be a couple of weeks before they would get me back into the shop because of the holidays.

I anticipated victory with each passing day. The magical day finally arrived; I worked all morning so I could make my 1:00 p.m. appointment. We agreed I would get right in, only a one-hour wait this trip. That was okay because it was time to work on the next parable for Protein Producers . I could make every precious minute count. I found a quiet corner, put my head down and began to write. Our previously selected topic of choice was to be on patience. The hours passed quickly as I furiously jotted down my thoughts. Suddenly, I looked up and my pickup was outside the showroom window. Four hours had passed, but the reward would be worth the wait. I picked up my keys, paid the $450 service bill, and headed to my F250. I gleefully fastened my seat belt and wildly hit the magic red button. I waited a few minutes… nothing! I thought I must have done something wrong. Poised for my re-ride, I methodically repeated the pre-flight procedure. Again, nothing! I sheepishly looked around thinking this had to be a practical joke or an audition for a new episode of Candid Camera . I sat dumbfounded. I couldn’t move.

I reluctantly headed back inside thinking it surely was something I was doing wrong. I walked to the desk and revealed the bad news. The serviceman gingerly put on his coat, walked outside, and hit the button. Thirty seconds passed as he held the palm of his lily-white hand to the seat and exclaimed, “She’s workin’ fine, Doc!” He cheerfully gave me the brush off assuring me that everything was okay.

There was no way that seat was working. Seriously doubting myself, my ability, and my logic, I was convinced I must have suddenly become a psychological paraplegic. I strongly contemplated squeezing my foot with the hoof testers or sticking a 14gauge x 1.5” needle through my big toe to disprove the point. I became so angry my face was bright red, and the heat of the situation was the only thing keeping my backside warm. I grabbed my $450 invoice, broke through the dealership door in true Clint Eastwood fashion, and began to warm the backside of the service manager. One big bite at a time. After a few minutes, a crowd began to gather to see what was going down. I informed everyone involved that the health and well-being of my lower extremities would be avenged and avenged now! The only response the serviceman could muster was, “Must be intermittent. See you after the first of the year.” At this point I couldn’t speak. My teeth were throbbing from the increase in my blood pressure. I was enraged and convinced myself I had every possible reason to be in my current state.

However, I hated the way I was acting, including my lack of self-control. How could I allow the actions of someone else to affect my composure to that degree? As I headed south on the two-lane highway, my speedometer said 85 in the 65-mph speed zone. Keep in mind, I’m the guy who works with charging bulls, mad cows, biting dogs, and striking horses and am not easily shaken. In my rage, I drove by my turn off and realized this situation had turned into a Dr. Tom Noffsinger tutorial. Time to release the pressure, look away, and roll a smoke like our friends in Australia. In that revelation moment, I heard a voice, “Hey big boy, what was the topic for the next parable?” In my solitude, I blurted out, “PATIENCE!” In a flash of total embarrassment and shame, I began to laugh out loud.

2 Corinthians 5:17 proclaims: “Therefore if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come!” When will I start living the part? The apostle Paul said in Romans 7:15, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.”

Thank you, Father, that you are sooo patient with me, and that my picture is still on your refrigerator.

Digging Deeper

Patience is identified by many as a desirable “virtue”. Aristotle included patience in his list of 12 virtues which he viewed as components required to build and maintain a life of moral excellence.i

Aristotle and his ancient philosophical musings were not the first to identify and characterize the importance of patience. The Bible addresses this topic in detail with the most important aspect and example of patience being found in God Himself.

Patience is often confused with endurance. In the New Testament, the original Greek word translated “patience” is makrothumeo . “Makro” is where we get our word “macro”, and thumos is best rendered as “anger”. With a little imagination, we can see the Greeks had “patience” identified as the trait of being long-tempered. This is in contrast to being short-tempered or having a short fuse.

Patience is defined as “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset”. Patience is typically used in regard to relationships. Endurance on the other hand relates to difficulty encountered in circumstances.

Our current self-centered culture has lost sight of patience and most of the other 11 of Aristotle’s moral virtues. Patience is enhanced by other traits like humility, self-control, and forgiveness. It is the ability to endure being mistreated, disrespected, or somehow marginalized by another person. Ultimately, it is being slow to anger.

Patience is not a default setting coming from the factory. Most (all?) do not have the patience module installed. As an example, infants are all about “me, right now, and what I want, need, or desire”. Some individuals never seem to progress past the infancy stage. Anger or tantrums are their way of exerting control.

While patience can be learned, it is best obtained when gifted and installed by the Original Equipment Manufacturer (OEM) – GOD.

Galatians 5:22-23 22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

This patience module is part of the “fruit of the Spirit” and comes from God to believers by the Holy Spirit. It is the installation of this aftermarket kit (i.e., fruit of the Spirit) that noticeably creates observable improvement. Unfortunately, even with this new module in place the operator may choose to override the settings and resort to the old short-tempered nature. This however is not recommended as owner regret is frequently reported (Romans 7:15).

The following are some additional Bible verses regarding patience for your consideration. Keep in mind that we have generously been the recipients of God’s patience and unmerited favor.

Colossians 3:12-13 12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. i Courage, temperance, liberality, magnificence, magnanimity, ambition, patience, friendliness, truthfulness, wit, modesty, justice. https://kevinhabits.com/aristotles12-virtues-from-courage-to-magnificence-patience-to-wit/

Ephesians 4:1-2 1 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love...

Proverbs 15:18 A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.

2 Peter 3:15 (NLT) And remember, our Lord’s patience gives people time to be saved...