Chuckles from Down Under

How To Wash Your Cat

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water.

3. Obtain the cat and carry to the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both the lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he/she cannot escape).

CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as the paws will be reaching out to maliciously lacerate anything they can find.

5. Flush the toilet three to four times

(ignore the thudding in the toilet seat and the hissing, this is normal). This provides a “power and wash rinse” which is found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the back door and ensure that there is no one between the toilet and the outside door (as this will result in their hospitalization).

7. Stand as far behind the toilet as you can and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now clean cat will rocket out of the toilet like an electrocuted maniac and run outside spitting and screeching, where he/she will sulk until dry.

Yours sincerely – The Dog

In March 2020, Eldon, accompanied by his daughter Kat, competed at the American Farrier’s Association 49th Annual Convention in Chattanooga, Tennessee.