GRIEF- Losing Your Loved One

BY DANIELLE ANENE

Have you ever heard that “time heals all wounds”? This word is usually said to us when we are deeply hurting and feel as if we will never be whole again, like a sharp pain every time we try to breathe, making it difficult for us to inhale and exhale.

The death of a loved one can take that toll on us; some deaths may be sending you signals that they are about to take that person, so you train your heart to welcome the idea, you mentally start adjusting to a world without them, you start crossing off everything on your checklist and telling them everything you have ever wanted to tell them, and here comes some sort of closure and acceptance of the inevitable. When they leave, you grieve for them and cling to the memories you made with them. Then there's the one who doesn't tell you; you might have just gotten off the phone with them, or carried them in your arms while kissing them goodnight the night before, or it could have been as simple as a flu or a headache, and then you hear they're gone, and your world crumbles. Here comes the kick because you did not prepare for this, death did not drop the memo that they were coming to visit. Like a thief, death came and departed with your loved one, leaving you crushed. This is a pain you have never felt in the same measure, regardless of the number of times you have experienced it. There will always be reminders of their existence, from laughter, to a sound or even a spot. Then someone comes along and tells you, “You will be okay, time will heal your heart,” and you wonder how? Here are some things you should know to help you get through the grieving process.

THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG WAY TO GRIEVE

Grieving is a personal experience that only you can really feel. With different personality types, there is no set way to grieve. There are numerous factors that can influence your grieving process, including your closeness to the person, your emotional level, your last moments with the person, and so on.

BASK IN THE MEMORIES YOU MADE WITH THEM

Playing out the happy times you shared with your loved ones has been shown to help people cope better with loss because the brain is not focusing on the negative aspects of the loss but on the positive aspects, which are the happy times you shared with them.

TURN TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Receiving all the comfort you can from your loved ones can greatly help you in your grieving journey; they give you an outlet to talk about your feelings and are also there to comfort you when you cry. Spend time with them. While isolation can be beneficial, basking in the warm support of friends and family is highly recommended.

TURN TO YOUR FAITH

If you have a practicing faith, you might not have the strength to pray on your own. Speaking to a higher member of your religious circle for words of comfort and understanding can also help you come to terms with what is currently going on with you.

PRACTICE SELF CARE ROUTINES

You might not feel like it, but actively and consciously taking care of yourself and your mental state can help you become emotionally stable. Eating appropriately, exercising, and sleeping well will also keep you in a better state of mind. Little things can make you remember them, it could be their birthday, a song, a saying, or even the anniversary of their death. You need to ensure that you are not alone during this time. Time does heal all wounds, and while you are working your way through this loss, you will stop in your tracks one day to realize the ache in your heart is now numb, and you can actually breathe better now when you think of them. You might sigh out of sadness, but your eyes will not water anymore one day.

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