You’re single, why

BY DANIELLE ANENE

Ever been on a date and, in the midst of a great conversation, your companion hits you with this comment “You are so amazing and quite a charmer; it makes me wonder why you are single”? This question or comment is usually said with no malicious intent, they are genuinely curious to know why someone with such an awesome personality as yourself is actually single.

We have all been hit with this question, and the intriguing part of it is that deep down we also wonder why we are single. In this edition, we have laid out some reasons why you might be single. Not to worry, we are not here to put you in a box of reasons why you might be single but to give you answers to why you might be single.

We will be acknowledging the fact that some people are single by choice. This choice could be the outcome of so many scenarios, it could be that they are not ready to accommodate a relationship, they might not believe in a relationship, they might just be getting out of one and want to take a break, or they have lost all hopes of finding the one.

Trust Issues

Once upon a time, you loved with reckless abandon and got really hurt in the process, and now you do not trust the intentions of your intended. You very well know that he could be someone to lean on, but something keeps stopping you from trusting, if not the person but at least the process.

The truth remains that a healthy relationship stems from a positive mental view of things, and until you truly sort through your distrust of people, you might be single for a while.

LOW SELF ESTEEM

Having a low confidence level can trigger selfsabotaging behavioral patterns in you. You might not see yourself as deserving of your dream relationship. You might see the lady/ guy you want but do not have the confidence to pursue them.

EXTREMELY PICKY

Admit it, you want the perfect man/woman and you do not intend to step down on your list. You are in different talking stages with different people, but each individual is lacking something. You are waiting for that person, the guy with the perfect complexion, height, and size—an open the door for you kind of guy, a buy you gifts just because kind of guy, a nice dentition would be nice, or you want the lady with the flattering shape, the perfect smile, a lady who knows how and when to speak, a domesticated girl, the perfect girl! the best girl! You are not asking for too much—just the basics, right?

UNWILLING TO BREAK OUT OF YOUR ROUTINE

As you get older, you form patterns and routines you are comfortable with, work-home, gym-work-home, church/mosque-home; it's almost like a circular life with no break in between, and you only break out of this cycle for grocery shopping. While you hear a lot that your significant other might be seen anywhere, you have to admit that sticking to your routine might make it harder to meet the person you will spend the rest of your life with.

NON-NEGOTIABLES

While in your single era, you witness other relationships and unconsciously box them into your haves and have nots. You build a mental picture of what you want your relationship to look like and what you would definitely not settle for, and once your talking stage is over and they are not speaking the right words to you or acting as you would want them to act, you automatically zone out on them. Sometimes your dream relationship might be spurned out of your previous relationship, so you want your next relationship to bear no resemblance to your last.

Living in your singleness for whatever reason should never deter you from living your best life. You do not want to wait for that relationship to kick off before you enjoy the life you always wanted. You need to remember that you are in sole control of your life. If anything, being single is the perfect time to achieve things you might not be able to achieve once you have a partner to consider. So regardless of why you are single, have an open mind, be more out there, and do not hold yourself back. You never know what is out there waiting for you.