BEREAVEMENT Working through Loss
How parish bereavement ministries assist with the grieving process BY EMMALEE ITALIA Contributing Editor
“We help
individuals to understand that loss is a normal part of life.”
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rief is always unique to the situation and the individual – but one thing remains common: the value of journeying through that loss with the help of a faith community. Enter parish bereavement ministries – a staple of many parishes in the Diocese of Trenton – which provide a supportive outreach and prayerful accompaniment for the bereaved. A collaborative bereavement ministry exists between multiple Mercer County parishes: St. Ann, Lawrenceville; St. Anthony of Padua, Hightstown; St. Paul, Princeton; St. James, Pennington; St. George, Titusville, and St. Alphonsus, Hopewell. The parishes work under the leadership team in St. David the King, Princeton Junction – Nanci Bachman, director of the Lifelong Faith Formation team, and Albert J. Martella, parish Adult Faith Formation associate. Both have backgrounds in spiritual direction and pastoral care. “Our pastor, Father Timothy J. Capewell, and the parish staff works closely with bereaved parish families to provide caring consolation and spiritual support to those grieving the death of a loved one,” Bachman emphasized. “Great care is given to bring God’s hope, love, and strength to [them].” In St. Pius X Parish, Forked River, the 17-year bereavement ministry was paused for two years during the pandemic, as in-person meetings in close settings were not possible. And having that faceto-face support, said coordinator Paula Little, is essential to the process. “We always follow the inspiration of
the Lord, and different things come up in the meetings,” she said. “We really can’t do it online.” In each parish the goal of the ministry is clear – to walk with individuals and families with various materials, and to allow time for group discussion and sharing for those who are comfortable. “St. David the King invites individuals to participate in an overview of loss and how it changes their lives,” Martella explained. The bereavement program consists of four sessions based on a DVD called “Changed Forever,” which address specific aspects of loss, how to slowly integrate it and the grief that comes with it into the person’s life, as well as a journaling program using the New Day Journal. “The journaling techniques … have been proven to be comforting to many,” Martella continued. “There are [also] those who may not be ready to do so, even after a year or two following a loss.” The parish designed a facilitator’s guide that is shared among collaborating parishes. “We also offer support to new facilitators who have completed the Diocese’s Pastoral Care program.”
The Journey Through Grief program in St. Pius X – which Little hopes will be able to reconvene in June – is an eightweek session, and every week is a different topic. Open to adults over 18, many are referred from neighboring parishes, including St. Mary, Barnegat. Participants must have experienced their loss at least three months prior to joining a session. “Otherwise, it can be detrimental [to healing] if it’s sooner,” Little explained. A follow-up group, “Companions on the Journey,” meets once a month in St. Pius X, and includes anyone who has been through the Journey Through Grief group; some have attended meetings for many years. “We have five other facilitators, all of whom have been through the group themselves and have gone through diocesan training,” she said. For children, a 14-week series that typically runs between October and February uses an international grief program that Little has adapted to include faithbased content. “We let the children come as long as Continued on 42
For diocesan and local bereavement resources, visit dioceseoftrenton.org/bereavement-ministry March 2022
THE MONITOR MAGAZINE 41