In Focus
W
hat does it mean to be inspired? For people of faith, like the writers of Scripture, it means to open
themselves up to the breath of God, and become instruments of the Holy Spirit – as St.
An Example of Holiness
Paul describes – collaborators with God. In the letter of St. Paul to Timothy, the saint writes, “All scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for refutation, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that one who belongs to God may be competent, equipped for every good work. God is its principal author, with the writer as the human collaborator.”
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INSPIRED Like the authors of Scripture, those who listen to the small, still voice of God in the Holy Spirit, often find themselves called to act for God’s purposes, for the good of others and are both empowered and strengthened to move forward in the face of difficulties. Inspired by God they reflect the wisdom of Psalm 37:23-24: “A person’s steps are made secure by the Lord when they delight in his way. Though they trip up, they won’t be thrown down, because the Lord holds their hand.” Inspiration is a gift of the Holy Spirit, one that grows through prayer and God’s grace, and, through God’s human collaborators, brings light into what is often a dark world. Submitted by Mary Morrell, Contributing Editor
Immaculee Ilibagiza, left, encourages a woman whose family was killed in the 1994 Rwandan genocide to reconcile with her neighbors, also pictured in this 2011 photo, who were believed to have participated in some of the murders. Patrick Dolan file photo
Genocide survivor shares merciful message in visits with local parishes BY EMMALEE ITALIA Contributing Editor, and DOROTHY K. LAMANTIA Correspondent
I
“
remember going through the 10 Commandments and saying, ‘I can do this, this is not so hard.’ And then I started to open more pages in the Bible, and it’s like every page was saying ‘Love your enemies.’ No, no, no, cross that page – you don’t know my enemies. After five minutes I felt the hand of God was holding me tight, and [him saying] it is up to you how you choose to live your life. Be hateful, or be loving.’” Immaculée Ilibagiza’s comment, given in a 2022 EWTN interview, hints at the testimony that the survivor of the 1994 Rwandan genocide has been offering to readers and audiences worldwide for almost two decades. Inspired by her Catholic upbringing and in spite of what she endured, Ilibagiza’s ability to extend mercy and forgiveness to those who act out of evil and hatred is extraordinary by any measure. Ilibagiza’s memoirs “Left to Tell” and “Led by Faith”
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In Focus
Extending mercy and forgiveness Continued from 11
document her survival of the genocide of her people, the terror of hiding for three months in a neighbor’s bathroom and overcoming a natural response of anger at the slaughter of her parents and brothers, ultimately to forgive one of
their killers face-to-face. Visiting recently with several parishes in the Diocese of Trenton as keynote speaker and retreat leader, Ilibagiza has longstanding local connections, even working with former diocesan staff videographer Patrick Dolan on a 2011 documentary project on the events in Rwanda, as well as the 30th anniversary of the apparitions of Our Lady of Kibeho, Rwanda. Throughout her presentations, Ilibagiza remains steadfast in her message: “If I can forgive, in my situation, anyone can.”
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SURVIVAL BY PRAYER
Immaculée Ilibagiza speaks to some 300 attendees Nov. 3 in St. Joseph Church, Toms River, who came to hear her story and pray with her to Our Lady of Kibeho. Courtesy photo
my heart, which happened through the prayer.” At a November presentation in St. Joseph Church, Toms River, Ilibagiza detailed how the power of prayer helped her survive. The Hutu initiated a campaign of terrorism and genocide against the minority lasting three months, during which Ilibagiza was hidden in the home of a sympathetic Hutu pastor. For 91 days she lived in silent terror with seven other women in a locked bathroom measuring three by four feet, with little food and the sound of machete-wielding death squads just outside the door. “When I began to pray…even though I could hear them looking for us, I had peace,” she said. “I prayed, ‘Please, God, don’t let them open the bathroom door.’ They never did.” With a Rosary of the Seven Sorrows of Mary in hand that her father gave her just before her confinement, she began to learn the most challenging but crucial lesson – to forgive. “From 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. I prayed the Rosary. I could not say the words, ‘Forgive us… as we forgive those who trespass against us’ and mean it. I skipped them.
Despite the years that have passed, the murders of members of the Rwandan Tutsi tribe by the Hutu majority tribe that overtook Rwanda’s government following the assassination of the country’s president are fresh in Ilibagiza’s mind. “Any time I think about it today, it is as if it was yesterday,” she said. “But it is not about necessarily the horror and the suffering. It is about the grace of God, the forgiveness that happened to
Toms River parish embraces Our Lady of Kibeho BY EMMALEE ITALIA Contributing Editor
T
he inspiration to bring Rwandan author Immaculée Ilibagiza to St. Joseph Parish, Toms River, started with parishioner Diane Worthy’s simple request to begin a devotion to Our Lady under the title she received after her Kibeho apparitions in the 1980s, before the Rwandan genocide. “I brought this devotion to the attention of the Church, specifically St. Joseph’s Parish, because it was an important visitation by the Blessed Mother that needed attention at this time,” Worthy said. She and a planning committee brainstormed ways to spread awareness of the devotion in the parish and educate people about Our Lady of Kibeho’s message of hope, “not only for the people of Africa, but also for those who are suffering all over the world,” said Worthy. “We wanted someone who could prepare the parish for this new experience, and Immaculée was the ideal choice,” she explained.
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Ilibagiza is the author of “Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust.” Father Scott Shaffer, pastor, advised the group to invite her to the parish. “Her testimony inspired our faith and reminded us of the presence of light amid darkness in Rwanda. God loves us and … hasn’t abandoned the world in its suffering,” Worthy said. In addition to Ilibagiza’s presentation, Father Shafer celebrated Mass for those who attended Nov. 3 and blessed a painting depicting the image of Our Lady of Kibeho. The committee also had a sculptor create a replica of the Our Lady of Kibeho statue, which she donated to the parish. “The devotion was intended to reflect the needs of our Church. … We followed the request the Blessed Mother made at Kibeho to pray the Rosary of the Seven Sorrows,” Worthy continued. “As we Continued on 63
I didn’t want to lie to God. Praying the Sorrowful Mysteries, Jesus’ words, ‘Father, forgive them, they know not what they do,’ I learned to surrender, to say, ‘You are God, and I am not.’ I realized God was Father of the good and the bad. Because of the change in my heart, I believed my enemies could change too.” Ilibagiza spoke of Our Lady of Kibeho, who appeared in Rwanda in the 1980s and directed three teenagers to pray and repent to prevent an oncoming holocaust. “People now say they wish they had listened,” she revealed. She encouraged the audience to pray the Seven Sorrows Rosary on Tuesdays and Fridays and the traditional Rosary on the other days. She said, “Mary will teach you how to get to heaven – hold on and love your Mother.” INCREDIBLE FORGIVENESS Ilibagiza’s transformative journey from anger to forgiveness was hard won, she attested to EWTN radio host Father Mitch Pacwa, and largely inspired by the Rosary. “I would go through the Sorrowful Mysteries [and say to] our Lord, ‘You went through that for me? How did you accept that … You have nails in your body, and yet you forgive people?’ It was
An artist’s rendition of the Church-approved image of Our Lady of Kibeho was blessed by Father Scott Shaffer during the Nov. 3 Mass in St. Joseph Church. Courtesy photo
Videographer Patrick Dolan, far right, appears in this 2011 photo from his pilgrimage to Rwanda for the 30th anniversary of the apparitions of Our Lady of Kibeho. Left of Dolan are Anatalie Mukamazimpaka, one of the apparition visionaries (in white sweater), and Immaculée Ilibagiza (in black jacket); at far left is Matthew Gorman, independent consultant. Photo by Renee Helmes really through that journey that led me to forgive, to realize that people … don’t know what they are doing.” Still, she told Father Pacwa, the transformation “took time.” She explained, “It was a lot of thinking and begging God. But when it happened, it felt like freedom. It felt like I can live my life.” Ilibagiza remembered asking God during the genocide for the ability to reach people. “I said ‘I wish I could find people and tell them about you, how you can change from this bitterness I was feeling to freedom, to peace, because of forgiveness.’” She believes that had she not forgiven, she would not be here today. “I would have been killed or lived a really terrible life, because anger is terrible,” she said. Since she began speaking about her experience, Ilibagiza has been recognized and honored with numerous humanitarian awards, including The Mahatma Gandhi International Award for Reconciliation and Peace, the American Legacy’s Women of Strength & Courage Award and the 2015 National Speaker’s Assocation’s Master of Influence Award. She has received honorary doctoral degrees from the University of Notre Dame, South Bend, Ind.; St. John’s University, Queens, N.Y.; Seton Hall University, South Orange; Siena College, Loudonville, N.Y.; Walsh University, Canton, Ohio, and the Catholic University of America, Washington, D.C. DIOCESAN CONNECTION Having read Ilibagiza’s book “Our Lady of Kibeho” just a few months be-
fore, Dolan embarked on a trip in 2011 to Rwanda for the 30th anniversary of the Blessed Mother’s appearances in Kibeho, invited by Ilibagiza herself. “It was a remarkable opportunity to travel with the author, who had such a passion for sharing the story and bringing pilgrims to this sacred place,” he reflected. “It was evident to me and many who interacted with her that she drew incredible strength from her devotion to the Blessed Mother, relying on Mary’s example of mercy and love.” Our Lady of Kibeho is the only Vatican-approved apparition on the African continent. In 2001, the Holy See and local Bishop Augustin Misago recognized the 1981-1983 visions of Alphonsine Mumureke, Anathalie Mukamazimpaka and Marie Claire Mukangango as authentic. Dolan created a short documentary of the 2011 trip, “Our Lady of Kibeho,” and followed that with a longer documentary in 2014, “A Time for Healing,” which focuses on Ilibagiza’s faith journey and experience during the genocide. Both can be accessed at TrentonMonitor.com > Special Projects > In Focus. “Immaculée’s witness is one of joy, and anyone who reads her books or attends her talks can see that she carries a beautiful message of hope,” Dolan said. “Her decision to forgive those who murdered her family … shows us the immense power of God’s grace – that by choosing the more difficult path to holiness, we can initiate the healing for others as well as ourselves.”
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In Focus
Moorestown deacon applies medical training to missions, hospice BY EMMALEE ITALIA Contributing Editor
T Called to Heal Dr. Bertagnolli helps carry donated rice with one of the missionary brothers. Courtesy photo Another mission volunteer and Dr. Bertagnolli demonstrate to children at the orphanage that the nebulizer mask is not scary and that they can safely use it. Courtesy photo
wenty-five years ago, when Dr. John Bertagnolli, Jr., D.O., told his wife, “I’m going to go on a mission trip,” she was immediately taken aback. “She thought I hit my head — she’s a neurologist,” quipped the osteopathic doctor. “I had no idea how to get there, I just knew I had to go.” That day in 1998 was inspired by a Catholic-based missionary agency advertisement in a bulletin from the couple’s Our Lady of Good Counsel Parish, Moorestown. Ever since then, Dr. Bertagnolli has been offering medical assistance annually on mission trips primarily to Kingston, Jamaica. He also has lent his medical expertise to the hospice field, encountering people during some of their most physically challenging times. Board-certified in family medicine and hospice and palliative care, Dr. Bertagnolli is a team director at Samaritan Healthcare & Hospice in New Jersey and a recently retired professor of family medicine at the Rowan-Virtua School of Osteopathic Medicine in Stratford. Since his ordination in 2011, he also has served as a permanent deacon for the Diocese of Trenton, at his home parish.
EXPERIENCE LIKE NO OTHER Even as a doctor and a member of the clergy, the experience of making that first mission trip to Jamaica was sobering and challenging. “We worked in shelters for the homeless, physically and mentally challenged adults and children,” he explained. And in so doing, he began to see the 14 THE MONITOR MAGAZINE
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dire need for medicine and other supplies that could improve their quality of life. After examining sick children — and finding that nothing could be done for many of them — a missionary invited him to help feed the children a meal. “He showed me these green trash bags [of food donations] and told me to take whatever was in the bags and put it in a blender,” Dr. Bertagnolli explained.
“Being ordained a deacon sort of brought everything full circle ...” “They were filled with light yellow wafers with vanilla crème — I had to blend and feed this slop to the kids. I said, ‘This will never happen again.’” Dr. Bertagnolli now travels with whatever supplies, both food and medical, he can bring. Mailing supplies has proven to be challenging, as often two-thirds of what is mailed is confiscated and ends up on the black market. He also makes himself available in his other God-gifted role as a deacon, serving as a deacon at daily
Mass during his mission trips. The annual trip expanded to include not only parishioners, but also medical students and residents from the hospitals where Dr. Bertagnolli works and teaches. “Some former students that are now physicians come from all over the country to travel with us,” he said.
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ACCOMPANYING THE DYING
Dr. Bertagnolli’s work in hospice – care that focuses on comfort and quality of life of a person with a serious illness who is approaching the end of life – also began in the late 1990s as an offshoot of his work with Rowan’s house call program, in which some 500 patients received in-home medical care. Dr. Bertagnolli introduced hospice to the medical school and helped expand the program of study. “I work for the oldest hospice in New Jersey,” he said. “We do not assist with MAID (Medical Aid in Dying); we make people comfortable as they go through the dying process.” New Jersey is one of 10 states in which MAID is legal, but Dr. Bertagnolli said many families do not realize the hospice options of medicine, massages, music, visits from clergy and social workers. “Once the families are educated in what it offers, the overwhelming majority stay with hospice care.” MERGING OF MINISTRIES
Dr. John Bertagnolli Jr. receives the Saint Luke Award from the South Jersey Catholic Medical Guild and VITALity Catholic Healthcare Services during a White Mass in the Diocese of Camden in October. Debbie Troy photo / Catholic Star Herald
“Her doctor was surprised at some of the things I was doing to make her comfortable through the night,” he recalled. “She said, ‘I never saw anyone die so peacefully.’” She asked to join him for a couple of weeks in the United States to learn how to better care for her patients in Kingston. For his dedication oversees and in hospitals throughout South Jersey, Dr. Bertagnolli was recognized with the St. Luke Award for medical excellence Oct. 22, during the Diocese of Camden’s annual White Mass honoring medical workers. The awards are sponsored by the South Jersey Catholic Medical Guild of the Diocese of Camden and VITALity Catholic Healthcare Services.
“Being ordained a deacon sort of brought everything full circle with my house call program and mission trips,” he reflected. “I’m asked many questions about how I would handle health-related issues, if it were my family … Many patients chose me as their physician because of my background as a deacon, and knowing I teach at a medical school, and have to be up to date.” Dr. Bertagnolli has also medically treated priests and religious sisters in Jamaica. His hospice experience came in handy when he assisted one of the elderly Franciscan Sisters of Allegany, who host the mission volunteers.
LIFE-CHANGING WORK Father James Grogan, Our Lady of Good Counsel pastor, joined Dr. Bertagnolli on a 2005 mission trip; at the time, Father Grogan was still a permanent deacon and the doctor was not yet ordained. “That trip transformed me, and now as pastor looking back, I can count dozens of parishioners who have made the trip with Deacon John and witnessed the need of our brothers and sisters,” Father Grogan attested. “For each of the parish missionaries, this trip changed how we view the world. It has become a way of taking action to witness the Gospel. I suspect that his serving others in Jamaica, as well as his medical specialty of hospice care were influences on his own vocation to the permanent diaconate.” Dr. Bertagnolli has witnessed missions and hospice work transform his own life and those of other volunteers. “Sitting by the bedside of someone who’s dying is not for everyone, but for me, it’s an honor to take care of these people. “I really haven’t heard of a bad experience [volunteering for the missions],” he continued. “Everyone that goes down there has a little bit of an epiphany.” For his students, he said, “I think it brings out the empathy that they didn’t know they had — that’s something you can’t teach.”
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In Focus
‘Force for Good’ Center for FaithJustice volunteers arrive in at the Catholic Charities facility in McAllen, Texas, in April 2019. From left are Mary Vanderhoof, Rocky Balsamo, Stephanie Peddicord and Erin Dolan. Courtesy photo
Embracing CFJ leadership role allows Peddicord to make tangible impact BY CAROL OLIVIERI Correspondent
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or Stephanie Peddicord, life contains many “Holy Spirit moments.” They may only be obvious in hindsight but, looking back, Peddicord sees the reasons why one thing was chosen and not another, why she came in contact with someone at a time that seemed insignificant but later changed her life, or why a door was never opened. Peddicord describes herself as a “cradle Catholic,” born and raised in central Massachusetts in the Diocese of Worcester. With her father being the chief financial officer of the Diocese, she had a great deal of contact and comfort with the ins and outs of Diocesan life. Majoring in Spanish at Hamilton College, Clinton, N.Y., she was a “humanities geek” and was drawn to nonprofit work.
AN UNEXPECTED PATH At that time, the two main options were the Peace Corps or Teach for 16 THE MONITOR MAGAZINE
America. Peddicord applied to Teach for America. Being an excellent student, proficient in Spanish, and graduating in the top ranks of her class, Peddicord was confident she would be selected for this highly competitive program. She didn’t even make the interview. Time for a Holy Spirit moment. Her mother sat her down and told her God had a different plan for her. That plan was to work for Community Counselling Service, New York, (CCS Fundraising) directing or working on campaigns that raised hundreds of millions of dollars for nonprofit clients, including Catholic dioceses and parishes. Another Holy Spirit moment came as she met a coworker, Chad, who would become her husband. This year they will celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary. After she founded her own consulting company, the Center for FaithJustice (CFJ) in Lawrenceville became one of her clients. Another Holy Spirit moment came in 2015 when the CFJ board asked her to assume the leadership role. It was Holy Week. She resisted. She
January 2024
Stephanie Peddicord takes a selfie at the border wall in Brownsville, Texas, during her November 2019 outreach trip. Courtesy photo
enjoyed consulting and liked focusing on many different things. This would be a change to a full-time role and limit the amount of time she had with her children. It would mean a pay cut. After discussing this with her husband, she told the board she would do it for 18 months. Instead of being a consultant for nonprofits, she would be doing the work she aspired to when she finished college. Peddicord did not envision that she would still be doing this in 2024. GOOD WORX At CFJ, Peddicord helps young people respond to the Biblical caution that “faith without good works is dead.” “Service has always been my conduit to make my heart come alive,” Peddicord said. “I am an action-oriented person. I don’t hear God when sitting in silence. I hear God in service. I hear God at the border or in Appalachia.” Through the programs of CFJ, youth are given opportunities to tune out the distractions, go to those on the margins, do service and hear the voice of God. To date, more than 7,500 youth have participated in CFJ from all dioceses of New Jersey as well as from Pennsylvania, New York, and even other states and countries. “We just surpassed our 500-thou-
sandth community service hour,” Peddicord said proudly. “There is a common narrative that young people today are too (Fill in the Blank: overscheduled, into online games or TikTok, into sports, isolated, competitive) – but this narrative is incomplete,” she said. “Take away the distractions and put them in meaningful relationships with caring adults and do real things. Open doors. They are ordinary people with a yearning for God, belonging, and connection but at the same time, they are also really creative, dynamic, and inspiring. All the pieces are there for them to do something extraordinary. Give them opportunities and get out of the way.” CFJ programs provide young people with opportunities to perform direct service to those in need, guided by the principles of Catholic social teaching. One project, NeXt Level, is designed to be a transformative experience for parishes as youth lead campaigns focused on a specific need, with adult mentors to accompany them, rooted in the Catholic tradition of service and justice. This project is funded by a grant from the Lilly Endowment. CFJ received this grant in 2018 and will share the results of five years of research later this year. The disaffiliation of young people from the Catholic Church has been measured by Pew Research. Seventy-nine percent of Catholics who leave the Church do so by age 23. To address
Stephanie Peddicord with her husband Chad and children Natalie, 14, and John, 10. Courtesy photo
this, CFJ received another grant from the Lilly Endowment in 2023 to expand its work to include families. “Family Matters: Empowering Catholic Caregivers as Protagonists in Domestic Faith Stories” aims to help parents and caregivers as they accompany children and adolescents in their faith life.
Greeley, who at the time was associate director of communications for the Diocese and coordinator of Spanish language communications. He is currently campus minister in Notre Dame High School, Lawrenceville. “She connected with dedicated friends and with Texas-based organizations to brainstorm what service we might be able to provide,” Greeley explained. Her leadership, he said, shone throughout the experience. “We were seeing shocking need and meeting people in the most vulnerable of circumstances,” he recalled, “and Stephanie responded to each with a generosity and creativity that continues to directly affect people’s lives. For example, she continues the friendship we formed with a migrant family that ended up in California, even though our trip was five years ago. Stephanie is a model of solidarity.” Peddicord hopes to make another trip in 2024, as soon as her schedule will allow. “A huge piece of why we go is to bear witness to it and spark awareness in others,” she said. “It’s still happening, conditions are just atrocious, and our faith really compels us to respond.” Thanks to Peddicord’s leadership, Greeley said, “CFJ continues to be a force for good and one that stands with the marginalized. Her leadership has also inspired so many others, like me, to answer the call and do what we can to help those in most need … to welcome the stranger. I am grateful to call her friend.”
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TO THE MARGINS
In the spring of 2019, as the migration crisis at the southern U.S. border grew worse, Peddicord and other CFJ volunteers traveled to McAllen, Texas, to serve at the Humanitarian Respite Center run by Sister Norma Pimentel, a member of the Missionary Sisters of Jesus and executive director of Catholic Charities of the Rio Grande Valley. The intention was to provide urgently needed volunteer staff and supplies in response to the humanitarian crisis caused by thousands of Central American refugees seeking safety and asylum in the United States. CFJ raised more than $15,000 from area donors to purchase necessities like clothing and toiletries. “We were there for a week. On any given day we saw 1,100 migrants released from detention facilities with barely anything, just the clothes on their back,” said Peddicord. “Some had been in detention for a month or longer and hadn’t been able to shower … it was a refugee situation.” Peddicord and CFJ volunteers have made three additional trips to the border since then, facing different challenges and U.S. policy changes each time. Volunteer Matthew Greeley, who worked on CFJ events with Peddicord, joined her and other volunteers on a November 2019 border trip. “Stephanie shared that she knew she and CFJ had to do something,” said
LEADING BY EXAMPLE When asked what her greatest gift is, Peddicord said: “Tenacity. You have to be bold and not easily dissuaded.” This tenacity came to fruition in the first grant from the Lilly Endowment. CFJ is a very small organization, and it was the only Catholic entity and the only non-university to receive a grant from Lilly in 2018.
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In Focus
Bringing Others to Christ From darkness to deacon studies: Gez Ford’s pathway to faith MARY STADNYK Gez Ford stands in front of Tabor House, which he co-founded as an outreach for men recovering from addictions. Courtesy photo
Gez Ford, left, and other music ministers play for the 2023 Catholic Men for Jesus Christ Mass. Joe Moore photo
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Associate Editor
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ez Ford no longer asks “Why?” when it comes to circumstances surrounding his life. Instead, the only question he continually asks is “What does God want from me? Where is God’s hand in all of this?” Ford speaks from personal experience of how he came to know God’s faithfulness during a very dark period in his life – when being passionate about his Catholic faith and working for the Church were the last things he thought he would do. Personally, he’s a beloved son, brother, husband, father and grandfather. Professionally, he is well known as the fulltime family life minister overseeing youth and young adult ministry in St. Raphael-Holy Angels Parish, Hamilton, and he is a steady presence at diocesan-sponsored events such as the annual Catholic Men for Jesus Christ conferences and those sponsored by the diocesan Catholic Charismatic Renewal, both of which he has served as the
Bishop David M. O’Connell, C.M., greets Ford during the 2022 Rite of Candidacy for men who were admitted to pursue formation in the diocesan diaconate program. Joe Moore photo keynote speaker, workshop leader or in the music ministry. Recently, he became a co-host on Domestic Church Media’s First Friday Show, “Brothers in Arms.” In general, he is regarded as a man who lives his Catholic faith and loves to share it with others. TOUGH JOURNEY Gerard Ford was raised in a traditional, devout Irish-Catholic household in Manchester, England. He attended Catholic schools and was active in his parish as an altar server. His mother, as he described her, was “nothing short of a saint.” His father was “an active, rampant alcoholic” and exhibited behavior that strongly influenced Ford who, at a very young age, headed in a similar direction.
“I knew God loved me and wanted me to love.” “I was 7 years old when I got drunk for the first time,” he said, and by the time he reached adolescence, “I was making a lot of bad choices.” “It started off with things like missing school,” Ford recalled, “but slowly these choices became deeper, darker acts of sin.” For about eight years, his increased struggles with alcohol and substance abuse led to several suicide attempts, homelessness and hospitalizations. “I became a slave to my own addiction,” he said. With that, any traces of
his Catholic upbringing were not to be found. By age 19, Ford regarded himself as an atheist with no interest in Church or faith. “I was angry at a god who I didn’t think existed,” he said, but that changed Feb. 22, 1988, the day he hit “rock bottom,” when he found himself in a police van as a suspect of a “heinous crime.” “There I was, on my way to jail,” and it was then he realized “that I couldn’t live like this.” Even though he doubted God’s existence, Ford prayed to “whoever was out there and said, ‘If you exist, I surrender,’” he recalled. “And immediately, I knew he did. I knew God loved me and wanted me to love. … This has been the fundamental point of my life ever since!” Ford said. “It was then my life began to change.”
to the U.S. was the desire to join the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, a community based in New York City. His ministry endeavors, however, led him to his current work in St. Raphael-Holy Angels Parish. With time, he evolved into an internationally respected conference speaker, retreat master and worship leader who preaches on the Gospel message of Christ’s redeeming love and salvation for all. Ford’s desire to serve St. Raphael-Holy Angels Parish on a deeper level motivated him to pursue a vocation as a deacon for the Diocese. He is now about halfway through his formation, which includes earning a master’s degree from Seton Hall University, South Orange. He is expected to be ordained in the spring of 2026. Putting a plug in for his music ministry, Ford said he began playing the guitar when he was discerning his vocation as a Franciscan Friar and a friar suggested “that we learn how to play for the Lord.” “And I have been able to play for the Lord all over the world for the past 30 years,” he said. Ford also brings his past experiences and his faith into the wider community in his work with Tabor House, a Trenton-based, privately owned adult residential outreach that he co-founded in 2003 for men in recovery from addictions. “I get so much more out of Tabor House than I put into it,” he said. For Ford, the true joys of Tabor House are the relationships he’s forged with the residents – a number of whom Ford even invites to his home for holiday dinners – and witnessing their commitment to recovering from their addictions. The heartache of Tabor House, he said, is the increase in the number of deaths of residents in the past 20 years. “In the first 10 years, there were a handful of deaths, maybe two or three,” he said. “In the past 10 years, I can’t count
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A NEW DAY After he was released by the police, Ford headed straight to Alcoholics Anonymous, “and I haven’t had a drink or used drugs since,” he said. “It’s almost 36 years that I’ve been clean.” Though Ford fully focused on his recovery and had his newfound belief in God, it took time for him to decide on his religion. He explored various faiths but continued to avoid Christianity. “I avoided my Catholic roots,” he said. It was during his search when he met a priest and, in their conversation, the priest asked him if he wanted to go to Confession. “That opened the door for me to return to the Catholic Church,” Ford said, adding that his focus on full-time ministry work was largely inspired by clergy he had met along the way, both in England and the U.S. His schooling has included theology and religious education studies in The Victoria University of Manchester, England; St. John’s University, New York; and Franciscan University of Steubenville in Ohio. ROOTED IN FAITH A major draw for Ford to relocate
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In Focus
Preparing the Soil Sarubbi readies children, teens to lead Catholic lives BY EMMALEE ITALIA Contributing Editor
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aura Sarubbi’s ear-to-ear smile is one of the first things young people encounter when they enter the religious education program in St. Paul Parish, Princeton, or the halls of Notre Dame High School, Lawrenceville. “I had a dream that began over 25 years ago to help children and families on life’s journey,” she said. “Never did I imagine this was what God had planned for me.” Sarubbi, a St. Paul parishioner since 2000, has embraced the spectrum of Laura Sarubbi pauses at the Mount Carmel Guild Gala Oct. 20, 2023, for a photo with her husband K-12 Catholic education through her and daughters, from left: Anna, Kate, Joe, Laura and Teresa. Joe and Laura were honored at the full-time job as NDHS’s vice president of Gala with the Guild Appreciation Award. Courtesy photo enrollment management and marketing, many of those Catholic grammar schools there. Then in 2021, she sat, weekend afand as part-time director of religious have lower enrollment. “I am passionate ter weekend in St. Paul Church, hearing education for her home parish. Her about promoting Catholic education. about the DRE opening. welcoming presence is accompanied by a Becoming DRE at St. Paul’s allows me “I could hear my grandmother’s self-effacing nature. to encourage students to consider our voice in my head saying, ‘Laura, you’ve “You need to keep it real. I laugh at parish school [and] Notre Dame.” got to do something,’” she recalled. myself … a lot,” she said. “Students and Troubled by statistics indicating that “Because of the pandemic, children their families need to know you have their more than 60% of children and teens and their families were away from the back … be present, listen, let them know Church. I was the leave their Catholic faith between ages you truly care about first one to complain 10 and 17, Sarubbi insists that “each them and mean it.” that the pews were one of us has an obligation to teach our When her tripempty. So, heeding young people about the beauty of our let daughters began my own advice [that] faith and its traditions … by being the attending St. Paul you couldn’t identify face of Christ to everyone we meet … School in 2008, Sarubbi a problem without Yes, parents are the first educators of the joined them there as offering a solution, I faith – but they can’t do it alone.” a teacher. When in INSPIRATION PROFILE had to do my part.” Young people need role models, she 2016 they went on to She credits parish volunteers who insisted, “to see people like them ... living Notre Dame, Sarubbi soon had a working joined her efforts. “People came out of their lives with faith.” knowledge of both communities – and Her biggest joy “is when a parent the woodwork. The staff at St. Paul’s are some divine direction. thanks me for being a presence for them, the most amazing people … [they] came “I have never really searched for a job or when their child wants to be a Catholic up to me and said, ‘how can I help?’” but have been open to [where] the Holy like Mrs. Sarubbi. It truly has nothing to It quickly became clear to SarubSpirit guides me,” she said. “I realized that do with me. I view myself as a gardener bi that “my ‘yes’ had a greater impact supporting our faith with children and who prepares the soil … I let them know than I first imagined,” she noted. With our families was where I needed to be.” that they are loved unconditionally by a her finger on the pulse of enrollment That openness led her to accept the merciful God. Then, smarter people than at NDHS, she saw the data indicated enrollment position at NDHS shortly I sow that dirt with the Word of God.” where students matriculate from — and after her daughters became students
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FORGIVENESS SHINES FORTH Continued from 13
INSPIRED AND TRANSFORMED Ilibagiza visited several parishes in the Diocese of Trenton over the past year, including St. Joseph; Holy Innocents, Neptune, and St. Teresa of Calcutta, Bradley Beach. Several who came to listen to her shared their feedback with The Monitor. Janice Cuttingham of St. Teresa of Calcutta Parish worked with fellow parishioner Cindy Wagner to bring Ilibagiza to speak in October. Both women had read her books and knew well her unique story. “Her courage and her deep faith [are] what I found inspiring,” Cuttingham said. “She has such a calming presence … she spoke an hour and a half with no notes – her message is so ingrained in who she is. … As for people who spoke with her one-on-one, you could tell she was present in your conversation.” Wagner found praying with Ilibagiza “something I’ll always remember … [she was] really bringing home that [praying] the Rosary is what the Blessed Mother wants us to do to change the world. “She has such a genuine joy,” Wagner continued. “I think that’s the fruit of her forgiveness; it’s palpable when you are in her presence … Her message of God’s peace … could fall short if she were not such an authentic person.” “She is such a witness to the forgiveness of God,” commented St. Joseph parishioner Barbara Evan. “We need this message of love and forgiveness, especially in these times.” “It is stunning how someone can come through adversity with such grace,” said Margaret Boylan of St. Gabriel Parish, Marlboro. “I need to work on the process of forgiving. It is hard to say, ‘I forgive’ and mean it.” St. Joseph pastor Father Scott Shaffer commented, “Through prayer and the Rosary, that which seems impossible to do becomes reality. To see someone speak with such passion is inspirational, refreshing and necessary, especially in this world.” Ilibagiza offered a retreat in Holy Innocents Parish in October, where parishioner Carol Donofrio encountered her – though not for the first time. Having read her memoir after
watching the news of the genocide, she was inspired to go on several retreats Ilibagiza led, and on pilgrimage to Rwanda. “To say that I continue to find Immaculee inspiring would be an understatement,” she reflected. “Her love for our Heavenly Mother and the stories of miracles upon miracles were captivating. Immaculée’s message of forgiveness does not compare to any, and my wish is that everyone could experience it.”
CFJ CHANGES NARRATIVE Continued from 17
“Our faith is really challenging. Jesus said to leave everything behind and follow him,” Peddicord said. “Pope Francis has awakened us from our slumber and given us a whole new language. We have the navigational beacon of Pope Francis, who guides us to ask ourselves these questions: Who am I? Why am I here? What is God’s plan for my life? God is calling us to extraordinary things. It can be terrifying, but it is a great gift. We’re bringing God into those spaces.” While the focus of CFJ is youth, Peddicord said they are not alone in lacking vitality in their spiritual life; spiritual vitality also must be addressed in adults. “Our faith is not just about attending Mass on Sunday and checking other boxes,” she said. “For all ages, you are the main character in your faith story. You need to hear God in this story, but it’s about you. Faith will accompany you, but it’s not a passive relationship. God will throw you the ball, but you have to be in the batter’s box.” Someone who sees all the seemingly insurmountable problems in the world – poverty, food insecurity, conflict, climate change, etc. – and feels overwhelmed and incapable of making a difference must change the narrative, Peddicord said. “We need to change the way we look at change and progress. You can’t do everything, and that’s OK. Pick one thing, and you can do it really well.”
GEZ FORD PUTS GOD FIRST Continued from 19
the number of deaths,” he continued, then emphasized that the increase of deaths of addicts is due specifically from the increased use of fentanyl. “It’s an ongoing problem,” he said. REFLECTING ON HIS NEW LIFE Reflecting on the past 36 years, Ford smiles when thinking about “meeting many great people and having many great encounters.” Most especially he is grateful for his strong relationship with both of his parents, with whom he speaks several times a week, and he is also grateful to have repaired his relationship with his father, who sought help for his alcoholism. His father is also now an ordained Catholic deacon. At home, Ford treasures his wife of 18 years, Nadine, who “is my rock.” he said. “Nadine is likely way further along in her sanctity than I am,” he said. “She is the one that affords the time and the support for all [of my] various ministries.” Along with Nadine, Ford has loved taking on the role of fatherhood to her three children and having grandchildren – “seven and counting.” “I love it,” he said, but ultimately, “Whether I am playing music or giving keynote talks or I’m home or on the streets with the drug addicts, it is all about worshiping the Lord.” “Every moment we have is about worshiping the Lord,” Ford continued. “If we are going to sing the song or talk the talk, we better walk the walk.” In all aspects of his life, Ford said it’s prayer that sustains him. “I’ve learned that without prayer, you dry up very quickly. Prayer provides the foundation for any daily life,” he said, then added, as Catholics, “we do not have priorities. We have only one priority and that’s God,” Ford maintained “When we put God first, everything else follows and makes sense.”
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January 2024
THE MONITOR MAGAZINE 21