Dwf zinefair annajacobson

OUTER-CHAIN

THE ADVENTURES OF THE OUTER-CHAIN BY

ANNA JACOBSON

IMPORTANT DOCUMENT Welcome to outer-chain. As part of outerchain, you will receive fortnightly benefits and must attend an employment agency, S.C.A.M. Employment.

S.C.A.M. stands for Super Conscientious Active Management.

We will help you find work.

Or else.

S.C.A.M. Employment

I have an appointment with belinda.

She’s moved to greener pastures.

Well you can explain it all over again to Turd, our new employee.

I put you in the disability section due to your mental health condition. I’ll need your medical certificate.

But I spent an hour with her explaining my situation.

She has high levels of anxiety.

I gave a photocopy to Belinda last time.

we can’t find it.

You’ve lost my medical certificate? That has personal information on it.

She has high levels of anxiety.

I understand how you feel. I was agoraphobic all last year. Didn’t see one person.

And now look at me.

I’ve got a job dealing with people!

Can you please be my support person at my next appointment?

You’ll be pleased to know I’ve sent in a form to the Outerchain. this could be disastrous. I’ll have to send another form to fix it.

Ok

But it has all the wrong details on it

I’ll, um, just get the manager to assist- And I probably won’t be your case manager next time. I’ve got too many

clients.

Ring ring.

Hello, this is s.c.a.m. employment.

Let me take a few minutes of your life.

Yes, every time we call, we get more money.

And We highly encourage you to see our psychologist here at S.C.A.M employment, given your high anxiety levels.

This is the second time in two days you’ve rung.

No thanks, I have my own shrink.

But this will be free for you (and S.C.A.M. Employment will get heaps more money).

Also, you have an appointment today.

What for?

I don’t know. I’ll have to ask the manager.

Really? How’d you do that? I mean, hooray.

Now we go onto the next phase of helping you (and we get paid even more!)

I’ve found work.

I think you’ve done enough.

We will be emailing you three times in your first week of work and then once every week to see if you need any help.

How’s your first day of work going?

It’s only 9.30am and I asked you to email instead.

I wanted to ring because it’s your first day. So how’s it going?

I’m working.

EMAIL: From S.C.A.M. Employment I forgot to ask! What days/ hours are you working?

Hello?

what am I calling you about? Hahaha oh yeah, ha, um, you’re suspended from Outer-chain.

you don’t have to come in for appointments anymore as you’re working, thanks to us. But s.c.a.m employment would still like you to come in. For meI mean you. I’ll get heaps more money...

what does that mean?

PART 2: THE OUTERCHAIN VISIT THE PSYCH WARD I hope Sal’s doing ok on the psych ward.

Ring me!

Ring me!

The outer-chain visited the ward.

To help with sickness benefits?

No, for the dole- they want my pay-slips and outer-chain number.

The shits!

I have to ring my employer.

The outer-chain wants to know my earnings.

Can you log onto the computer at home and print them for me?

Why?

But you’re in hospital! (and high on a cocktail of valium and other prescription drugs)

Here’s Sal’s pay-slip.

This is only for the last week. the outer-chain wants two weeks.

Fucking bitch

That’s my social workershe’s not from the outer-chain.

What’s your name? I have a guilty feeling I should know your name.

Nurse

Oh.

She’s a visitor, not a patient.

Oh.

You realise the outer-chain is harassing and stressing mental health patients while on the psych ward? When they should be recovering?

they are providing a service

I tell my GP about the Outer-chain at my next appointment. the outer-chain is going into hospitals and encouraging patients to ring their employers to find out their pay.

From a psych ward. While high on valium. Jeopardising their job. That’s one of the reasons patients aren’t allowed phones there in the first place.

Fucking dicks, jerks the lot of them. What idiots let them into the locked ward?

The world’s gone mad.

The Outerchain: benefits for the poor.

Making life easier.

PART 3: Woop Woop 1 The outerchain have sent me to outerchain woop woop 1.

That’s over an hour away.

Why can’t you go to the outerchain next door?

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They automatically assign one that should be no more than half an hour away.

But Woop Woop 1 is more than half an hour away.

not by jet.

you don’t have a jet.

The Outerchain

What???

Your assessment has been cancelled today We sent you notification in the mail yesterday

But it takes at least a week for the post to arrive from woop woop 1 to my place.

That’s not our problem.

Doughnuts $1 The Outerchain

By Anna Jacobson