Front Porch Magazine - Spring-Summer 2024

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Sending Good Vibes...

Through the Eyes of a Teenager Be Prepared A Joyous Journey From Us To You Spotlight Professional Directory Luke AFB Still Willing to Learn Young Pastor Learns a Lesson Spring Garden Favorites Old Wives Tales Is the Abortion Issue Our Final Battle The Little Boy No Left Turns Hope The Horrors of Sex Trafficking If I Were the Devil Poetry by Jim Wilson Is This Our Final Battle America’s Frontline Doctors Saying Goodbye: The Final Battle When the Road is Rough Cleared for Takeoff I Have Learned The Generous One Concerned Citizens for A Better Education The Home Run What Goes Around Comes Around I Am the Flag Sweet Fruits of Summer U Can’t Hide Red Nek From the Desk of Greg Abbott The “Big Green Lie” The Fly Convention The Difference Between Men and Women Butterfly Courage Texas Jokes From the Back Porch The Discretion Being Freeeee

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I’d like permission to be honest. I’d also like to ask a question and hope that you’ll just pause for a moment. As many readers of TFP know I suffered a significant spinal cord injury and life altering event just over a year ago. In the early moments on the day of my event I did in fact have a short meeting with my daddy who left this earth, March 31, 2008. It was quite euphoric, and he looked so young and healthy. I won’t go into a lot of detail but as you can imagine it was something I’ll never forget, and I woke with such wonder. Once I learned that they had called a code as they moved me rapidly from pain management to the ER department, I had a better understanding of my experience. Now, I am not going to preach and I’m not going to judge. I’d like to ask you to do the same. Now, here is the question to consider.

If you (your spouse or family member) were having this type of experience; would you be asking for prayers or would you be asking for good vibes?

What followed with my medical mishap and a 21-day hospital stay caused me to truly pause. The surgeon, PA and multiple nurses initially surprised I was alive, were later thrilled that I was able to walk again. Coincidentally some of the many messages’ coming my way seemed strange considering the amount of trauma I was experiencing. It is natural for some people not to know what to say or how to handle bad or sad news about others. I get that and it was happening to us. For example, at times when my husband would share information like, “she is completely paralyzed from the neck down” or “they shaved the back of her head to evacuate the blood from her spine while also performing emergency laminectomies from C2 to T3”. It seemed some were just uncomfortable with any communication. It still happens when someone realizes the reality of my limited use I have with my hands. It is mostly my right hand and arm these days. By the way, C2-T3, that’s a big cut y’all, even in Texas! Sorry, sometimes humor helps me cope.

Back to what followed. The messages I was getting from the many people I have been blessed to know both professionally and personally often seemed a bit odd to me. Maybe it was the way some cope (or don’t) with this kind of news. I had as many people “sending good vibes” as I did “sending prayers”. I am in no way judging. My intent is to bring this to a place of a consciousness and have you pause and consider the impact of our words. As I began to observe this, I was reminded of an old Harry Chapin song (a ballad really) that Chuck and I had listened to many times. It is about a disastrous truck accident involving 15 tons of bananas on a steep and winding hill. The actual name of the song is 30,000 Pounds of Bananas. Now, before you laugh out loud or find this too humorous, I should share that it is real and happened on March 18, 1965, in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

If you ever heard the song you’ll know where I am going if not, you can look up the story and the lyrics. It has a few significant lines that could be easily overlooked if it isn’t something that resonates with the listener. Basically, there is a moment when the young man driving the truck realizes something has gone terribly wrong. He has missed a critical sign that said, shift to low gear and slow down. As he picked up speed his brakes don’t work, and the song goes like this.

His foot nudged the brakes to slow him down.

But the pedal floored easy without a sound.

He said “Christ!”

It was funny how he had named the only man who could save him now.

He was trapped inside a dead-end hellslide…

I always found the line about him calling the only man that could save him now captivating. As the song progresses as does the speed of the truck, the singer also sings a line that says, “God,

make it a dream!” The thought around this, that at a moment of true need for saving or perhaps a final battle even a final breathe it is clear who some will cry out to, speak to, or perhaps pray to. My intent was just to ask that if you are reading this and you can imagine something is threatening your existence, what would you do? What would you appreciate from others? Won’t you just pause and think about this for a moment. I pray that you will. It can happen fast, and many times there just isn’t time to plan.

Our little slice of Heaven in Central Texas. We are not promised tomorrow, nor do we know what is next for any of us. However, if this is the “final” battle, I appreciate your good vibes, but I’ll take all the prayers sent because like the truck driver in the Harry Chapin song, I’ll be calling on the only one who can save me.

I’m an eternal optimist and have found myself with this medical event and the lingering effects wondering many days if I could keep up my normally positive attitude. I keep my mind and my company in the presence of those who also believe in the power of prayer and the power of positivity. The truth is you don’t have to look far to see someone who has it harder than you no matter who you are. It is not always easy but there are still so many things to be thankful for in life if you are willing to look for those. My faith, my family, my friends and frankly work that makes a difference keep me inspired for what’s next. None of us knows our expiration date.

There are several friends I know today who have issues of concern and perhaps even distress at times. It may be a diagnosis, a parent’s health, a child, divorce, a major move or loss of someone special. I choose to send them prayers when I am trusted with these “in this life” issues. I’m praying for my friend, Sue and I’m not alone and she not only believes they are working she asks for them at each new corner of change. I’m praying for my friend(s), Danise, Kathy, Diana, George, Lizzy, Ben, Scarlette and others who are in the face of change. I haven’t ever had anyone who shared concerns with me be upset if I offered prayers.

There have and always will be people who care and people who care less. We find our world in a tremendous amount of pain and turmoil. More countries at war and peace seems farther and farther away, foreign hackers are hitting US companies and stealing critical information like never before. Really no matter what your beliefs about healthcare, government, or religion, today you can find something to support those beliefs on the internet. For years we’ve all likely heard someone in our families share, “the world is coming to an end soon” or “I don’t know what this world has come to!” It’s fascinating because I remember my mother telling me that she remembered her mother saying that many years before I was born. Yet here we are years later, and these words have almost come out of my mouth in the last year.

On a final (although I pray it’s not) note, it has been a pleasure to share with you here in The Front Porch magazine.

JoAn Majors is a certified speaking professional, certified virtual presenter and published author.

Her newly released fifth and hopefully not “final” book, Permission to be Honest is now available on Amazon and chronicles her life altering event in December 2022. In collaboration with a sociologist, they document how the power of human connection can affect the care and the outcome.

A member of the National Speakers Association and the Austin Chapter of NSA, she speaks across the US and Canada on soft skills and communication. JoAn serves on the Advisory Board for Dental Entrepreneur Magazine and VP of Training and Development for a privately held healthcare company. She is content creation specialist and co-founder (with her husband Dr. Chuck Majors) of The Soft Skills Institute, LLC and online learning library. She can be contacted at joan@joanmajors.com.

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Through the Eyes of a Teenager Hello, my name is Secilia Salzmann, and I’m a 16-year-old girl and a junior in high school.We have all been teenagers in our life whether that was 20 years ago or 5. Life as a teenager in 2024 is very difficult, and I’m here to tell you all about politics through the eyes of a teenager.

Secilia (Seci) is a Junior at Bullard High School and is a member of the Bullard Belles Drill Team, FFA, Spanish Club and HOSA and plays high school softball. HOSA will enable Seci to graduate as a Pharmacy Tech, which is the first step in her dream of becoming a Pediatric Anaesthesiologist. She attended First Baptist School and Caldwll Elementary before moving to Round Rock and then on to Bullard in the summer of her Freshman year.

As a teenager, navigating the complex world of politics can be both confusing and enlightening. Politics, often seen as a realm dominated by older generations, can feel distant and inaccessible to young people. However, the impact of political decisions on our lives is undeniable, making it crucial for teenagers to engage with and understand the political landscape.

From social media activism to school walkouts, teenagers today are finding new ways to make their voices heard and advocate for change. Issues such as climate change, gun control, and racial justice have galvanized young people to take action and demand accountability from their leaders. The power of youth movements have shown that teenagers have the passion and drive to effect real change in society.

At the same time, teenagers face unique challenges in navigating the political landscape. With limited life experience and often conflicting opinions from adults and peers, forming political beliefs can be a daunting task. The polarized nature of politics today can also make it difficult to find common ground and engage in mean-

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ingful dialogue with those who hold different views.

Despite these challenges, being politically aware as a teenager can be empowering. It allows us to understand the world around us, advocate for causes we believe in, and participate in shaping the future we will inherit. By educating ourselves on political issues, engaging in discussions with others, and taking action in our communities, teenagers can play a vital role in shaping the political landscape for years to come.

As a teenager myself it’s hard to wrap my mind around what each party fights for or who has a better campaign. Politics has a lot of things to think about because you need to realize that you’re voting on who controls our country. I interviewed 2 teenagers to see their views on politics and how they see each party and here is how it went. interview 1: “ neither side is correct, but democrats are brainless and they want to con people out of money and control populations and numbers. Republicans are more like fooling the country, they don’t necessarily want to control the people they want to have more willingness from people. If I had to pick one in the office for president it would be republicans because they listen to us as people not as numbers.”

Interview 2: “ Biden has one brain cell and doesn’t know what he is doing, anyone could see that. The democrats like to brainwash people into believing they want what’s best for the country when in reality they are selfish and greedy.”

In conclusion, politics through the eyes of a teenager is a complex and dynamic landscape. It is a realm where passion meets pragmatism, where idealism meets reality. By embracing our role as future leaders and change-makers, teenagers can make a meaningful impact on the political world and create a more just and equitable society for all.

While Vegas, nightclubs, and liquor stores remained open during COVID-19, pastors and ministers were arrested, in Florida, Louisiana, Tennessee, and other states. The political elite continued to wine and dine, go to the hair salons while you ate at home, and cut your own hair.

Why are they doing this? You are in the way of a socialist state.

This movement has evolved from the Marxist of the 60’s and has found their way into the main street politician. They use schools and universities as an instrument of change. Rewriting history, and teaching equity instead of equality have crept into the mainstream.

Diversity Equity and Inclusion (DEI) directs you to look at race and lifestyle instead of ability.” Very similar to Karl Marx’s “Each to their own each to their ability.“ The opposite of Martin Luther King’s “Judge a man by his character not by the color of his skin.”

Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion is a socialist-liberal dream.

The new elite sees you as deplorable, saying you cling to your gun toting and religion. They can’t define a woman and are destroying girls sports in universities. Recently, the North Austin Aquatics League has updated its handbook to allow children to choose which sex to compete with. A Massachusetts high school girls basketball team reportedly had to forfeit a game after a transgender player on the opposing team allegedly injured three players.

A.D. Muller Is a Conservative activist and Republican Precinct Chairman in Burleson County.

Modern-day political theorist Saul Alinsky, and the ‘Squad” in Congress are the modern-day heroes of the left. Former CIA Director Brennan who voted as a communist at UT as a student, recently said that libertarians are one of the biggest threats he sees in America. The deep state is deep. They want to do away with voter ID and registration.

Can you imagine living in a country that would arrest those who go to church or congregate or read religious script? Have you heard WHY? In communist countries, the churches compete with the it can’t happen here? state. They believe religion and charities take funds away from the socialist needs. They fear freedom of expression, the right to own Someone once said “Don’t let them steal your joy” Their lives guns, and a free press. Many in the national media are themselves are full of noise, yours is full of purpose. What a great creed to live indoctrinated with the leftist beliefs. Authorities in Nicaragua by. However, the noise is getting louder by those who hate your joy have jailed nine pastors for more than a month and lost their right and want to control your faith. Some resent your religious speech to council, along with three Texas missionaries, according to the and despise your Texas rugged individualism. The new left or the Mountain Green mission organization. “progressive” movement’s goal of silencing free discussion, giving parents’ rights to the state, and punishing those who disagree. What can you do? Start with getting involved. Meet your elected They reinvent words. As long as you agree with them you are free officials…they work for you. Ask questions, and study the answers. to speak your mind. If you don’t, you will be canceled and called a fascist, racist, or Christian nationalist.

Be proud to be an American and vote.

The Front Porch A Joyous Journey!

Early in the 2000’s, The Front Porch was first published as a tabloid. This was the result of the dream of young entrepreneurs Mary Jane Roskey and Sandi Balcar, owner of imagemaker, in Caldwell, Texas. Scarlette Taylor has always been an integral part of the magazine, first as a writer and then a few years later as co-owner. The goal was to publish a paper that addressed all the pertinent issues of the times.

“My child, don’t lose sight of common sense and discernment.

Hang on to them, for they will refresh your soul.

They are like jewels on a necklace.

They keep you safe on your way, and your feet will not stumble.”

With hopes and continued dreams for the future, we leave you with this message

From the first issue, we believe we have provided informative, entertainWe have enjoyed every moment of the last 24 years and ing, thought-provoking (and sometimes controversial) content for you, will keep you all in our hearts and prayers. the reader, to enjoy. We want to sincerely thank all the writers with their valuable perspectives, the photographers with their creativity and imagination; and all the people whose beautiful houses graced our covers. All our PS… advertisers - without you each issue of The Front Porch could not have I want to issue a special thank you to Sandy Miller for all the help she has given me in putting together this last Edition. been completed!

This issue will be the last . We are stopping publication of The Front Thanks Sandy Porch, due to illness. Blessings to our Readers! What a wonderful and joyous journey this has been for us. We wish you the very best. From Proverbs 3:21-23:

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rom us to you Editors Note

Dear Readers,

It’s Spring! Flowers, and birds, and butterflies, Oh My! We all come alive after the winter season; especially those of us who love being outside.

Looking back at previous issues, we find common words we have used in describing our readers. Encouraging. Appreciative. Informed. Kind.

Grateful. Touched (oh wait that was ‘your hearts will be touched’).

As we think about you, our Valued Readers, many more attributes need to be mentioned: Valued. Precious. Dedicated. Faithful. Patient.

Eager. Loyal. Passionate. Genuine. Bona-fide!

As always, we hope this issue will provide the articles and jokes that will inform you, pull at your heart strings, and make you laugh a little.

Due to circumstances beyond our control, it is with a heavy heart we need to tell you that this will be the final publication of The Front Porch.

Thank you, to the heart and soul of The Front Porch – our Valued Readers.

Sincerely, Sandi & Scarlette

S

potlight Unique Heritage Burleson County’s

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People in all walks of life influence those around them. In this column, we will be featuring those who have made an impact in our small towns.

Adelle Morehead

The Heart of a Volunteer

During her Junior year of high school, Adelle starting working weekends at Perry Brothers. During her Senior year, Wilson Duetch talked her into the Co-op Program working for the Surrey Inn and Restaurant. After graduation from Caldwell High School, Joe Siptak offered her a job at the First State Bank. Through the years the bank changed names, first to First American Bank and then to Citibank. She retired from the bank in 2012.

June 22, 1974 was one of the happiest days of Adelle’s life. That is the day she married Billy Morehead. They had two children, Vince and Vicki along with 4 grandchildren. Sadly in September 2013 Billy passed away.

A loyal member of the Caldwell Rotary Club, Adelle and Dorothy Bautista were the first two women inducted into the Caldwell Rotary Club. She has been an active member ever since. Serving as Treasurer in 2002, Adelle really enjoys helping with the different projects that Rotary holds through the year.

Among her many community activities she was a board member and President of the Chamber of Commerce and has been a member of the Burleson County Czech Heritage Society since 2018.

As an active member of her church, New Tabor Brethren, she has served as Financial Secretary and sits on the Board of Elders. In addition she was the Secretary for the Church’s Unity of the Brethren Synodical Committee from 1993-1996.

Adelle Morehead, our Spotlight person, is an individual who is very active in her community and her church.

Adelle is the daughter of Kverin and Agnes Urbanovsky, the sister of three brothers, Jerry, Kverin R. and Robert and two sisters, Georgie and Agnes. Growing up in the New Tabor Community, she attended and graduated from Caldwell High School in 1970.

Adelle, you are an extraordinary person, always willing to help and the first person to volunteer when something needs to be done. There are many of us who admire you and want to be just like you when we grow up.

The heart of a volunteer is not measured in size, but by the depth of the commitment to make a difference in the lives of others.

professional directory Air Conditioning-Installation & Repair Reliant Mechanical 53 Attorneys Burns & Reyes-Burns 47 Automobile Parts-Supplies-Repairs Burleson County Motor Supply 45 Wilde Auto Plus 59 Banks Citizens State Bank 21 BBQ Matus 6 Beef - Local - All Natural Diamond A Ranch Beef 33 Burleson County Events Fair Association 41 Burleson County Republican Party 2024 Candidates 2 Candidate for Mayor 9 Brad Oliver Childcare Kid’s Zone 18 Churches Caldwel Methodist Church 17 Church of Christ 53 St. Mary Catholic Church 56 City/Civic/Government City of Somerville 43 Convenience Store Cat’s Pitt Stop 17 Construction C & H Building Construction 25 Copy Center ImageMaker 67 County Club Copperas Hollow 27 Dentistry Drgac Dental 29 Dozer Services Loehr Dozer 32 Feed Faust Farms 46 Homeyer Feed & Supply 37

Financials LPL Financial Funeral Home Phillips & Luckey Health Care Hope Pregnancy Internet Airplexus Insurance Richardson Insurance Liquor Store King’s Liquor Livestock Commission Caldwell Livestock Com. Lumber Company Woodson’s Lumber Company Pawn & Gun Shop H&H Pest Control Armstrong Pesticide Solutions Plumbing DP Plumbing Real Estate Home & Ranch Real Estate Polansky Realty Restaurants & Catering Masfajitas Mexican Restaurant Service Station Groce’s Service Station Tax Preparers & Advisors Danny Koerth Truck-Auto-Tires-Supplies Mitchell’s Tire Service Trucking NR Trucking W2 Services Veterinarian BVMVS Vitamins/Supplements Roots & Shoots Welding & Fabricating C&H Welding & Fabrication

15 49 23 45 28 48 55 19 46 21 45 3 27 41 18 39 51 26 68 39 64 44

Sandi Balcar & Scarlette Taylor publishers

sandi balcar

layout & design EDITOR

scarlette taylor advertising sales EDITOR

Dusty Daisty/Scout Hare photographer

contributing writer

neal beard Sharon ann laffere Ehlert tammy kubecka dr. jack Mckemie dvm jOaN MAJORS SANDY MILLER a.d. mUELLER KAVON NOVAK renita odstrcil dEL rOGERS, sR. BARBARA RUSSELL sECILIA sALZMANN-lEDESMA JASON SHUTT SCARLETTE Taylor pastor charles “rusty” wALTON POLLY WILLIAMS jim wilson BRUCE GOLDEN - CONTRIBUTOR Sandy miller - contributor CHRIS VAUGHN - CONTRIBUTOR Phone 979.567.7871 979.567.6753 301 Hwy 21 E Caldwell, TX 77836

The contents of all articles do not represent the views of the Front Porch Magazine.

The magazine claims no responsibility for the accuracy of information or content.

Luke AFB Luke AFB is west of Phoenix and is rapidly being surrounded by civilization that complains about the noise from the base and its planes, forgetting that it was there long before they were... A certain lieutenant colonel at Luke AFB deserves a big pat on the back. Apparently, an individual who lives somewhere near Luke AFB wrote the local paper complaining about a group of F-16s that disturbed his/her day at the mall.

When that individual read the response from a Luke AFB officer, it must have stung quite a bit.

The complaint:

‘Question of the day for Luke Air Force Base: Whom do we thank for the morning air show? Last Wednesday, at precisely 9:11 A.M, a tight formation of four F-16 jets made a low pass over Arrowhead Mall, continuing west over Bell Road at approximately 500 feet. Imagine our good fortune! Do the Tom Cruise-wannabes feel we need this wake-up call, or were they trying to impress the cashiers at Mervyn’s early bird special?

Any response would be appreciated.

The response:

Regarding ‘A wake-up call from Luke’s jets’ On June 15, at precisely 9:12 a.m . , a perfectly timed four-ship fly by of F16s from the 63rd Fighter Squadron at Luke Air Force Base flew over the grave of Capt. Jeremy Fresques. Capt. Fresques was an Air Force officer who was previously stationed at Luke

A 17-year-old boy who works part-time at Pizza Hut drives up to park in front of his house in a beautiful Porsche. Naturally, his parents know that there’s no way he earned enough with his after-school job to buy such a car. “Where did you get that car?” his mom and dad screamed in shock. “I bought it today,” replied the teen calmly. “With what money young man?” his mom demands. “We know how much a Porsche costs and you cannot afford it!” “Well, it’s used and I got a good deal” says the boy, “This one cost me 20 dollars.” “Who on earth would sell a car like that for 20 dollars?!” “The woman up the street,” the boy replies. “I don’t know her name–she just moved in. She ordered a pizza and when I delivered it to her, she asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for 20 dollars.”

The boy’s dad and mom hurry over to their new neighbor’s

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Air Force Base and was killed in Iraq on May 30, Memorial Day. At 9 a.m. on June 15, his family and friends gathered at Sunland Memorial Park in Sun City to mourn the loss of a husband, son and friend. Based on the letter writer’s recount of the fly by, and because of the jet noise, I’m sure you didn’t hear the 21-gun salute, the playing of taps, or my words to the widow and parents of Capt. Fresques as I gave them their son’s flag on behalf of the President of the United States and all those veterans and servicemen and women who understand the sacrifices they have endured ..

A four-ship fly by is a display of respect the Air Force gives to those who give their lives in defense of freedom. We are professional aviators and take our jobs seriously, and on June 15 what the letter writer witnessed was four officers lining up to pay their ultimate respects.

The letter writer asks, ‘Whom do we thank for the morning air show’? The 56th Fighter Wing will make the call for you, and forward your thanks to the widow and parents of Capt Fresques, and thank them for you, for it was in their honor that my pilots flew the most honorable formation of their lives.

Only 2 defining forces have ever offered to die for you....Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

Lt. Col. Grant L. Rosensteel, Jr.

house, ready to demand an explanation. Curiously, their new neighbor is calmly planting flowers in her front yard. “I’m the father of the kid you just sold a sports car to for $20,” the dad says. “I need an explanation from you!” “Well,” the woman says, not looking up from her garden. “This morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip in Florida, but it seems he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and doesn’t intend to come back.” “What on earth does that have to do with selling our son a Porsche for $20?” The boy’s mom asks, utterly perplexed. The new neighbor smiles very big, and pauses for a minute. “Well, my husband asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did.”

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Home Schooling - Any of this sound familiar?

Most of the generation of 60+ years were HOME SCHOOLED in many ways. See below - in our parents own words!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL. “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My father taught me LOGIC. “ Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My father taught me IRONY. “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. “Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times, don’t exaggerate!”

13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION. “Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

“Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. “You are going to get it from your father when you get home!”

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”

19. My mother taught me ESP. “Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My father taught me HUMOUR. “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up” 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. “You’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. “Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.

25. My father taught me about JUSTICE. “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

This if for the over 60 crowds because the younger ones would not believe we truly were told these “EXACT” words by our parents…

Apparently there are 2 types of flu.

The harmless one that women and children get, and the “near death” version that men get.

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Don’t you love to talk to or read articles written by people who express their genuine feelings, who go into detail and let you know what is passing through their minds? I certainly do. Recently, I have been in a Bible study of Nehemiah….Yes, I know what some of you are thinking…Nehemiah? BORING!

(as in the Amazon), and keeps her growing to be more of the person who looks like Jesus.

All that said, I get back to the original question of listening to or reading articles by people who express their genuine thoughts and feelings so openly, and so candidly…I want to be like that, to the extreme, completely. Sometimes as I write, I find myself getting away from calling you readers, my beloved, or dear ones or precious friends, or people who matter so to me. Though I genuinely feel that way, I think, after I’ve gushed out true feelings that I somehow need to back off…to get back under that control mode…stay safe and I won’t rock the boat, or offend you with kindness.

But the truth is, it is anything but boring. In fact, the study of Nehemiah is all about caring about each other. And I believe that part of the reason it is so inspiring is because of its author Kelly Minter. She’s a soul wide-open, sensitive, honest to the point of possibly being painful to her, see the glass half-way, not But, I’ve been inspired these last few weeks to be more open, full or empty…just half way from being filled more genuine, more caring, more real with you, dear readers.

I know who some of you are. And the thought of some of you with whatever. reading what I write truly scares me because you know me so She’s been an inspiration to me in so many well. And I never want to be a hypocrite, a fraud, or charlaways. She’s many decades my junior, but tan. And I know of others who I am happy to read whatever her enthusiasm coupled with her precious I have to say because they are so Christ-like that they will be more than willing to let whatever of worth I might possibly say influence their closeness to Christ.

Still Willing to Learn

BY SCARLETTE TAYLOR

knowledge of scripture…plus her sacrifice of self to minister to people, while still desiring to find her life’s mate, is so refreshing. She loves God so much more than she can express…yet, she wants, nay needs, (or perhaps powerfully desires) to be a wife and mother. But, the great thing I sense is that she doesn’t let her lack of anyone on the horizon get her down.

Of course, there are many whom I don’t know…many I will never even meet this side of Glory. You, dear one, I guess I feel most comfortable with…and it’s because I can feel that you read the words God gives me, and God draws you toward His ways or Word or thoughts, or that you reject Him about whatever the issue is.

I’m secure in that I am nothing but a pawn, if you will. God has given me a Word, and I’ve written it. None of the rest is up to me.

But, you know what? The truth is that whenever we speak or write or in any way do something for Christ, that’s the way it is. The results or consequences are not up to us. We have no control over how someone will respond or follow through on what has been said or done. So, having written all this, my prayer, my desire, today is that I will be more pleasing to my God, to my Savior Jesus, as I write. I pray that I’ll be more soul wide-open, sensitive to pleasing my God and not concerned about what others may say, and that I’ll be honest She talks about a husband, and about want- to the point of it being painful to me. Grant it, Lord Jesus. ing children and such. But, her fulfilling life, and it is full to the brim, keeps her focused “The truth is we are to be more concerned about being more on Christ, and others and their great needs like God than receiving His blessings.”

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers A Barber, A Cop & A Congressman One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, “I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.” The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, “I cannot acdept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.” The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Member of Congress came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber agaun replied, “I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.” The Member of Congress was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Congress lined up waiting for a freee haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Tell our Advertisers you saw them in the Front Porch Magazine 15

Young Pastor Learns A Lesson

Del Rogers, Sr., founder and CEO of Stewardship Enrichment is a recognized authority on successful fund raising for churches, ministries and personal stewardship growth for individual christians.

It was his first sermon since being “called” as Pastor of the country church. He and his wife had fallen in love with the people quickly two weeks before when he preached “in view of a call”.

The only problem was that the church was 100 miles from where they lived and he attended college.

He felt the “call” of God to the ministry and he had “surrendered” to preach a few months earlier and his “ordination” was still a few weeks away.

He wanted to do well for the Lord and for the people. He preached on the text Philippians 4:19 – “All needs supplied.” Was the title of his message.

“My God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in Glory by Christ Jesus.”

The sermon was simple: the outline was My God – Personal Shall – not might or maybe Supply all your need – total provision According to – in proportion to His riches in Glory – out of the Heavenly treasury by or in Christ Jesus – Jesus was the repository and the source and the supplier.

It was a very positive message – he had been told that most of the people in the small community were struggling to get by – times were tough.

A retired couple from Houston owned the only really “nice” house in the area. The nearest town was 17 miles away on a dirt road. There was a large state college town about 35 miles away and some of the men were fortunate enough to work there – the best jobs in that part of the state.

The young pastor and his wife chuckled nervously when the only deacon told them that “if it rains, I will meet you at the turn off of the state Farm Road and tow you with my tractor to the Church.

Sure enough it rained 3 weeks later and the deacon was there to meet them.

They had been told that each Sunday a different family would provide lunch and dinner for them. So that they were not surprised,

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the lady who prepared the Sunday Meals, stayed home to make sure everything was right.

The Deacon had explained that for years one family had prepared the first meal for every “New” Pastor. The lady of the family wanted to continue this tradition in spite of the fact that her husband had died a few years before and she and her 12 year old daughter were struggling to get by on a small pension.

The Deacon explained that other families had “chipped in” – gave things from their gardens – to help out with the special meal – the tradition continued.

After the Sunday Service, and time for every one to welcome the new Pastor and his wife and their 6 month old baby girl, it was time to go to lunch.

The 12 year old daughter of the widow got in the passenger seat of the pastor’s VW “Bug” and gave directions to her house. The Pastor’s wife and baby got in the back seat.

It was a slow drive – the road was in poor condition. The girl told the pastor and his wife, how excited she and her mother were that they were coming to their house for lunch.

She said that she was only 6 when the previous pastor had started and she did not remember his coming to their house. The pastor who just left was older and was a good preacher but he could not relate to the young people. “We have 50 kids that are Jr. High or High School and we are all excited about having a young pastor.”

She was so happy and enthusiastic. Her bubbling personality gave me a hint of the struggles that she and her mother had gone through since her dad died.

Finally, after a rough ride, we came to the gate to another dirt road. She said “our house is a quarter mile up this road up on the top of a hill – the highest point in the whole area.”

He was amazed that the road was in even worse shape that the other road. They finally reached the base of the hill and the house came into view. He was taken back – no, shocked would better describe his feeling by how rundown the unpainted house was.

Then he realized that the little girl was watching him and saw the look on his face – he was embarrassed but she just smiled as if she knew a secret.

As they topped the hill and reached the house, he could see behind and beyond the house. There was a beautiful meadow with thousands of wild flowers that ran all the way down to a small lake that sparkled in the afternoon sun.

The beauty took his breath away. He looked at his wife. She was as amazed as he was. It was as if God had woven a multi colored carpet. It almost made him want to shout for Joy; one of the most beautiful scenes he had ever experienced.

After a moment he realized that the little girl had been watching him and his wife. Her smile was radiant as she watched them as they took in the scene laid out before them. The little girl spoke words that he would never forget. She said, “Our house may not be much to look at, but it is the most beautiful place in the world to look from.”

Spring Garden Favorites

By Sharon Laffere Ehlert

Enjoy!

Greek Cucumber Tomato Salad 1 cucumber, diced 2 Roma tomatoes, diced ½ red onion, thinly sliced ½ cup Kalamata olives, sliced ½ cup crumbled feta cheese

Lemon Dressing: ¼ cup olive oil Juice of one lemon 1 tsp oregano or your favorite herb Salt and pepper to taste Whisk together ingredients for the dressing. Add the vegetables and toss. Add in feta cheese.

We enjoy this as a salad or we add sliced rotisserie chicken and fill a pita with the mixture.

I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think was “I bet a donut wouldn’t have done this to me.”

High School

DROPOUTS Two high school students are digging a ditch in the hot summer and they’re complaining about it non-stop.

“Sheesh, this is hard work. I hate this job!”

“Yeah. How come we’re down here working this hard and the foreman is up there sitting under a shady tree with a cool drink, and making 3 times as much as us? It’s not fair!”

“That’s it! I’m sick of this! I’m gonna go ask him!”

So the guy climbs out of the ditch and goes up to the foreman under the shady tree.

“How come we’re down there working so hard in the burning hot sun, while you sit up here under this shady tree with a cool drink?”

The foreman says, “Well, it comes down to one word: Intelligence.”

“Whaddya mean, intelligence? You calling me stupid!?”

“Well, here. Let me show you.”

So the foreman holds his hand up against the tree and says, “Punch my hand as hard as you can.”

The guy figures, now’s my chance for some payback! He winds up and swings at the foreman’s hand as hard as he can, but at the last moment, the foreman yanks his hand away. The guy nearly breaks his hand smashing it against the tree.

“See what I mean?” the foreman says. “Intelligence.”

“Alright. I get it.” And he goes back to work with his hand throbbing in pain.

His buddy in the ditch asks him, “So whad he say?”

“He said we’re slaving away down here because of intelligence!”

“Intelligence!? Is he calling us stupid!? What does he mean by that!?”

His buddy says, “Well here, let me show you.”

Seeing no tree around, he holds up his hand in front of his face. “Take your shovel and hit my hand...”

A person who demands further gun control legislation is like a chicken who roots for Colonel Sanders. `Larry Elder~

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen.

He sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly.

Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers This is a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida: An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! GET OUT OF THE CAR!” The four men didn’t wait for a second threat.

They got out and ran like mad.

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.

A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale

men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

Moral of the story?

If you’re going to have a senior moment…make it memorable! **************

Elephant The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an “E”. One boy says, “Elephant.”

Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same boy says, “Two elephants.”

The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with “M”.

The boy shouts from the other side of the wall: “Maybe an elephant!”

19

Passing Along Those

If the sun is shining while it’s raining, then it will rain this time tomorrow. If the moon shines on your face while you’re sleeping, you’ll go insane. Drop the dish towel or a piece of silverware? Uh-oh, that means company is coming!

Have you heard any of these, or other “old wives’ tales?” These tidbits of wisdom have been around for centuries, passed down from generation to generation. Old wives’ fables are even mentioned in the King James Bible. Wives didn’t just refer to married women in days past, but to any older woman of the community that had a wealth of information to help educate the youngsters around. Or maybe you heard a few of these from your parents or grandparents. Please remember these are not necessarily fact!

These tales originated from all cultures and ethnic groups, and are the root of oral storytelling and folklore in our own country. While many of our ancestors were illiterate, they could tell great stories about their lives, or share little gems of knowledge to whoever would listen.

A lot of this wisdom is weather-related, learned by observing the signs of nature. It will be a bad winter if squirrels gather nuts early, or their tails are bushier. Watch how wildlife builds their nests. Are they heavy duty this season, or lower to the ground?

While there’s truth to many weather tales, a few do stir questions….three months after you hear the first katydid, there will be a frost. It will be a cold winter if there are crickets in the fireplace. The number of fogs in September will be the number of snows that winter.

It’s going to rain if there’s a ring around the moon or the birds are flying low. Fair weather is indicated by smoke rising, rather than going to the ground, or if you hear crickets hollering, or if you hear a screech owl.

Did you know that you can stop a nosebleed by hanging a pair of pot hooks around your neck? Or laying down and placing a dime on your heart or a pair of open scissors on your chest?

And remember garlic wards off vampires and other “haints”, and helps cure a cold. Drinking the juice of an onion will also help

20

cure a cold or the flu. But an apple a day keeps the doctor away!

To get rid of a wart, rub a leftover chicken bone on it before bedtime.

Are you expecting a baby? Bad morning sickness and craving sweet things indicate it’s a girl, while mild morning sickness and salty cravings means it’s a boy.

If your ears are burning or ringing, someone is talking about you. Nose itches…someone’s coming with a hole in his britches.

See a penny, pick it up: all the day you’ll have good luck. If you’re shucking corn and find a red ear, it means you’ll soon have good luck. Putting a penny in your shoe will also bring good luck.

It’s bad luck to step on a crack (and break your mother’s back), or walk under a ladder. Never sweep under someone’s feet!

Open your front and back doors on New Year’s Eve to let out the bad things, and let in the new. Never wash clothes on New Year’s Day, or you might wash someone out of the family.

There’s a lot of tales surrounding music. Word has it that the Devil lives in the fiddle. Some folks say you can take a fiddle to a graveyard and you can play it, even if you never played before, especially if you go at night. A big discussion comes up every so often about putting rattlesnake rattles inside a guitar. Many believe that it’s something else that can bring you good luck, but the more popular theory is that it will make your guitar sound better. Guitar players in Texas seem to practice this a little more than in other regions, but it pops up in mountain folklore too.

You can fight the pain of arthritis by eating raisins that have been soaked in gin. We’re not sure if it’s the raisins, or the gin, that helps. If you have restless leg syndrome, you might try sleeping with a few potatoes in the bed with you.

A stitch in time saves nine. A bird in hand is worth two in the bush. Pretty is as pretty does.

Remember that first old saying about rain and the sun shining? But, what if the sun is shining while it’s snowing? Why, that means the Devil is a-beating his wife!

How many more old wives’ tales do you know?

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Clever Kids A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists.

One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem.

A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar Trap Ahead.”

A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy’s accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading “TIPS” and a bucket at his feet full of change.

The School Called Today And Said “Your Son Is Telling Lies”

Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.

“Well” I Replied “He Must Be Really Good Because I Don’t Have Any Kids” 21

Abortion in Texas

Is The Abortion Issue Under the Our Heartbeat Act

FINAL BATTLE

The issue of abortion does seem like a “final” issue for many. It does for me. I work in a pro-life ministry, one that strives to instill a love in the hearts of young parents for the child growing inside of the mother’s womb. If people don’t have regard for the lives of the most vulnerable, if the lives of helpless infants are treated with disdain so that adults are free to “follow their hearts,” what’s left? In his book The Abolition of Man, C.S. Lewis points out that the ancient Hindus referred to children and the aged both as “lords of the atmosphere,” which in our vernacular would mean we accord them the highest respect and care. His ultimate point was that you don’t have to go to the Bible to figure out that things like abortion and euthanasia are wrong—even pagans know that. Knowing this, then, the question must arise: if the people that most deserve our protection and respect are given the same regard we would give to chopped liver, is this not the end?

A couple of things I would like to point out, so that that we don’t go off the rails in desperation.

One, there will be a Final Battle. The apostle John saw it—the incarnate Son of God reentering our airspace on a white horse, with a sword coming out of His mouth to cut His enemies to pieces. I believe those that follow Him today will be there to see it, and rejoice (the world at large will see it and gnash their teeth). Two, technology has changed but the sins and vices of humanity are old. Ancient Roman law tells us a father had the right to let an infant child die of exposure if he didn’t want it. Christians then came out by night to gather up many of these abandoned infants to raise as their own. Sexual immorality, murder, drunkenness, infanticide, witchcraft, drug abuse, human trafficking--these are not recent innovations. Just read the Bible. It’s an old book, and brutally honest about humanity. Abortion and the pro-life movement both go way back.

To faithfully and wisely consider whether or not we’ve come to our final battle, we ought to con-

sider that the struggles many Christians (and other conscientious people) have faced in history must have seemed final to them.

Consider the Jews led off to captivity in Babylon in the centuries before Christ. They saw their homeland ravaged and left desolate, and the Temple destroyed. They were left without a country or a way to properly practice the worship of God. Yet God guarded this remnant, turned the hearts of pagan kings, and brought His people back. Judaism was reestablished. In a few centuries, in the Jewish homeland, God brought forth the Messiah from a Jewish girl’s womb. What must have seemed like the end turned out to be just a low point in the history of God’s people; in fact, something that God used to reform them spiritually.

As to whether the people of God in America have come to the final battle for Western culture, maybe. It seems evident that the Church has been losing influence for a long time. We might not be able to keep a hold on things politically. We might lose our rights, we might lose our standard of living. Our brothers and sisters worldwide have been living under worse conditions for a long time. But what we will not lose is our existence or our witness. We may lose our credibility for a time due to scandal or extremism, but God uses opposition to correct us (even exile). In the meantime, we are in a battle. But it’s not ultimately against people. Human enemies can repent and become your greatest ally. The real enemy is unseen and doesn’t want you to think about what he’s doing. So get off YouTube and get into your Bible. Get involved in your local church. Confess your sins. Pray with others. And find a worthy, life giving cause and volunteer!

Bio Jason Shutt, 52 years old and married to Elaine for 16 years. They have five children they homeschool in College Station. Jason started volunteering at Hope Pregnancy Center in College Station about 4 years ago and began working as the Men’s Programs Coordinator this past January.

About Hope Hope Pregnancy Center of the Brazos Valley is a faith-based, non-profit 501(c) (3) organization providing a safe and confidential place for those experiencing unplanned pregnancy. Services (all of which are free) include pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, options consultation, parenting classes, and material aid based on an “earn while you learn” system. More information may be found at www. hopepregnancy.org.

The Little Boy

her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said: “Dear Mom, I know you’re going to miss me; but don’t think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just ’cause I’m not around to say I LOVE YOU. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day.

Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won’t be so lonely, that’s okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn’t like the same things us boys do. You’ll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don’t be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool.

I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn’t look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God’s knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That’s when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you goodbye and everything. But I already knew that wasn’t allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him ‘Where was He when I needed him?’ “God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children.

Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I’ve written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn’t that cool? I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I’m, sure the food will be great.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don’t hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I’m glad because I couldn’t stand that pain anymore and God couldn’t stand to see me hurt so much, either. That’s when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?

Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: “How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?”

The surgeon said, “I’m sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn’t make it.”

Sally said, “Why do little children get cancer? Doesn’t God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?”

The surgeon asked, “Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he’s transported to the university.”

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said goodbye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair.

“Would you like a lock of his hair?” the nurse asked.

Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy’s hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally. The mother said, “It was Jimmy’s idea to donate his body to the university for study. He said it might help somebody else. “I said no at first, but Jimmy said, ‘Mom, I won’t be using it after I die.

Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom.” She went on, “My Jimmy had a heart of gold.

Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could.”

Sally walked out of Children’s Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy’s belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy’s belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son’s room.

She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them.

She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

Signed with Love from: God, Jesus & Me.” It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside

Author Unknown

Pregnancy Testing | Limited OB Ultrasound | Resources | Parenting Education 205 Brentwood Dr E College Station | (979) 695-9193 | www.hopepregnancy.org

No Left Turns My father never drove a car. Well, that’s not quite right. I should say I never saw him drive a car.

He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.

“In those days,” he told me when he was in his 90s, “to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it.”

At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in: “Oh, baloney!” she said. “He hit a horse.”

“Well,” my father said, “there was that, too.”

So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car.

The neighbors all had cars -- the Kollingses next door had a green 1941 Dodge, the VanLaninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford -- but we had none.

My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines , would take the streetcar to work and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home. If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.

My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, we’d ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none “No one in the family drives,” my mother would explain, and that was that.

But, sometimes, my father would say, “But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we’ll get one.” It was as if he wasn’t sure which one of us would turn 16 first.

But, sure enough, my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown..

It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn’t drive, it more or less became my brother’s car.

Having a car but not being able to drive didn’t bother my father, but it didn’t make sense to my mother..

So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where, a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving. The cemetery probably was my father’s idea “Who can your mother hurt in the

24

cemetery?” I remember him saying more than once.

For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps -- though they seldom left the city limits -- and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work.

Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn’t seem to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage.

(Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.)

He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustin’s Church.

She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he saw which of the parish’s two priests was on duty that morning. If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home.

If it was the assistant pastor, he’d take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church. He called the priests “Father Fast” and “Father Slow” After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he’d sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I’d stop by, he’d explain: “The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored.”

If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out -- and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream. As I said, he was always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, “Do you want to know the secret of a long life?”

“I guess so,” I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre.

“No left turns,” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“No left turns,” he repeated. “Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are

No Left Turns Cont’d in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic.

As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn.”

“What?” I said again.

“No left turns,” he said. “Think about it.. Three rights are the same as a left, and that’s a lot safer. So we always make three rights..”

“You’re kidding!” I said, and I turned to my mother for support.

“No,” she said, “your father is right. We make three rights. It works.”

But then she added: “Except when your father loses count.”

I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing.

“Loses count?” I asked.

“Yes,” my father admitted, “that sometimes happens. But it’s not a problem. You just make seven rights, and you’re okay again.”

I couldn’t resist. “Do you ever go for 11?” I asked.

“No,” he said “ If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can’t be put off another day or another week.”

My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving. That was in 1999, when she was 90.

She lived four more years, until 2003. My father died the next year, at 102.

They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a few years later for $3,000. (Sixty years later, my brother and I paid $8,000 to have a shower put in the tiny bathroom -- the house had never had one. My father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly three times what he paid for the house.)

He continued to walk daily -- he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he’d fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising -- and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.

One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news.

A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, “You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred.” At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, “You

know, I’m probably not going to live much longer.”

“You’re probably right,” I said.

“Why would you say that?” He countered, somewhat irritated.

“Because you’re 102 years old,” I said..

“Yes,” he said, “you’re right.” He stayed in bed all the next day.

That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night.

He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said: “I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet” An hour or so later, he spoke his last words: “I want you to know,” he said, clearly and lucidly, “that I am in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have.”

A short time later, he died.

I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I’ve wondered now and then how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long..

I can’t figure out if it was because he walked through life, or because he quit taking left turns. “ ENJOY LIFE NOW - IT HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE!

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Hope is like that reliable companion on life’s roller coaster ride and becomes our survival kit in the most challenging moments.

When our souls feeling defeated and our bodies weary - that’s when hope steps in, offering a sturdy shoulder to lean on. It’s the unwavering belief that things can get better, a beacon guiding us through uncertainty.

Hope is also a symbiotic relationship; we trust it, and in return, it steadfastly carries us through. As long as we hold onto hope, it won’t let us down.

Mistakes might happen, obstacles might appear insurmountable, but hope encourages us to keep going reminding us that even in the face of adversity, there’s a chance for triumph.

So, here’s to embracing hope as a divine gift, a companion that ensures our resilience on this wild adventure called life.

“Hope. It’s a strange word isn’t it? How can we have hope when everything is gone? How can we believe that things will get better when we’ve lost not just ourselves, but others too? The reason is because hope forces to refuse to give up. It gives the infinite power to never stop trying. Hope is the undying power that drives us to achieve any goal, anywhere, anytime. Never stop believing in hope.

Somewhere, somehow hope can exist. Use it to strengthen your heart and empower your soul.”

“Hope is a torch; the more you have, the brighter the world will be.”

“Refuse to let hope be squashed by mere possibilities.

It is within you to choose hope until your last breath.”

Doctors feel obligated to give the worst-case scenarios and in some cases, like clinical trials, are required by law to do so. But just because they have the directive to give those possibilities, doesn’t mean you have to believe them. In every case, the possibility for a good outcome exists--so why not choose hope?

“Walk on with hope and you will never get lost.”

“For there is hope of a tree, if it is cut down, that it will sprout again, and that the tender branch thereof will not cease.”

“The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity - even under the most difficult circumstances - to add a deeper meaning to his life.”

“If we conduct our lives with grace & integrity, the mirror smiles back.”

Life is not as difficult as it seems, In every tough time a sign of happiness beams.

Whenever low-whenever down, Remember life is a beautiful song.

So don’t be low, don’t be down, Lead life like a beautiful song.

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Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

GREAT TRUTHS & LITTLE CHILDREN 1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.

2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.

3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5) You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.

6) Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8) You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9) Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10) The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandma’s lap.

BE NICE TO YOUR KIDS...

THEY’LL CHOOSE YOUR NURSING HOME. UNANSWERED PRAYERS The preacher’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why.

Well, Honey.” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.”

“How come He doesn’t answer it?” she asked.

TEXAS PRAYER A sad Texan once prayed. “I wish it would rain. No so much for me, ‘cuz I’ve seen it-but for my 7 year-old.”

The other day my husband said to me, “ I am the man of this house. You will wash, cook and clean. You will also rub my feet and shoulders!”

He then went on to ask me “Now can you guess who is going to help me dress?”

To which I replied “ the Funeral Director?”

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The Horrors of

Sex Trafficking Written by Barbara Russell, CASA Volunteer Voices for Children, CASA of Brazos Valley

Commercial sexual exploitation of children, also known as child sex trafficking, is one of the worst human rights violations of our time. It is also one of the most profitable crimes in the United States because a sex trafficking victim can be used over and over to make more money for the person holding the child hostage.

According to the National Human Trafficking Hotline, child exploitation occurs in every state with Texas ranking second in incoming tip of sex trafficking. It is prevalent everywhere across the state: rural, urban, and suburban neighborhoods report missing children at every age. Federal law refers to the term “child” to include any person under the age of 18 years old and each child is treated accordingly. the old term “child prostitute” is now termed “commercial exploitation of children” since any child under the age of 18 is incapable of making adult choices regarding sexual issues. They are children being assaulted and victimized.

Statistics for Texas “Human Trafficking & Child Exploitation” for 2023 according to the DFPS website show that Burleson County is in region 7 with other counties surrounding Austin. There was a total of 185 suspected or confirmed cases of child sex trafficking reported in Texas with 15 in our region 7 and none in Burleson County.

Which child constitutes an obvious target for predators? Statistics show that vulnerable children from a variety of different

backgrounds are easy for being either ‘lured” or “abducted” into the trafficker’s possession. Kids from the foster care system, abusive or neglected homes from those in proverty to privileged, LGBTQ youths, run-aways, or any lonely child with access to social media can be a victim of sexual exploitation. Social media outlets today give predators easy access to defenseless children by appealing to their need to be loved and recognized using physical and emotional manipulation.

Any of these at-risk children are prime to accept the lies and meet them in highly visible, “safe” areas, like malls or coffee shops.

We, as parents, care givers or advocates, can prevent or identify problems by having an open relationship, listening to the child, monitoring their social media groups and just being aware of who they hang out with. Most importantly, if you discover something suspicious, contact authorities who have contact with a multitude of local and national agencies that will investigate and go after these predators with a vengeance!

Voices for Children is an organization that trains CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) volunteers for a five-county area in Texas.

After a volunteer has completed an extensive screening, background check and training, they are sworn in by a judge to be an advocate for children who are placed in the foster care system. The advocate remains with them until their case is dismissed or they reach the age of 18 years old. Texas is in dire need of CASA volunteers for these children. Visit www.vfcbrazos.org to learn more.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature of the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

************

I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask her what color it was. She would tell me the answer and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!”

************

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him “I am 62.” My grandson was quiet for a moment, and I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor then he asked, “Did you start at 1?” call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reaFront Porch Magazine son: many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer would like to thank our advertisers wanted them to cross there. and writers for their continued support.

PAUL HARVEY’S ‘IF I WERE THE DEVIL’

“And then I’d get organized. I’d educate authors in how to make lurid literature exciting, so that anything else would appear dull and uninteresting. I’d threaten TV with dirtier movies and vice versa. I’d pedal narcotics to whom I could. I’d sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction. I’d tranquilize the rest with pills.

Paul Harvey was an American radio broadcaser for the ABC Radio Networks. He was well known for his “Rest Of The Story” segements where he would present a story and withhold the most important piece of information until the end of his boadcast.

In 1965, Paul Harvey broadcasted “If I Were the Devil.” It is really amazing to realize how accurately he “prophesied” the future spiritual condition of the United States. Many of his statements were considered ridiculously outlandish at that time in history. Yet, we find ourselves today…

PAUL HARVEY’S ‘IF I WERE THE DEVIL’ TRANSCRIPT If I were the devil … If I were the Prince of Darkness, I’d want to engulf the whole world in darkness. And I’d have a third of its real estate, and four-fifths of its population, but I wouldn’t be happy until I had seized the ripest apple on the tree — Thee. So I’d set about however necessary to take over the United States.

I’d subvert the churches first — I’d begin with a campaign of whispers. With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whisper to you as I whispered to Eve: ‘Do as you please.’

“To the young, I would whisper that ‘The Bible is a myth.’ I would convince them that man created God instead of the other way around. I would confide that what’s bad is good, and what’s good is ‘square.’ And the old, I would teach to pray, after me, ‘Our Father, which art in Washington…’

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“If I were the devil I’d soon have families at war with themselves, churches at war with themselves, and nations at war with themselves; until each in its turn was consumed. And with promises of higher ratings I’d have mesmerizing media fanning the flames. If I were the devil I would encourage schools to refine young intellects, but neglect to discipline emotions — just let those run wild, until before you knew it, you’d have to have drug sniffing dogs and metal detectors at every schoolhouse door.

“Within a decade I’d have prisons overflowing, I’d have judges promoting pornography — soon I could evict God from the courthouse, then from the schoolhouse, and then from the houses of Congress. And in His own churches I would substitute psychology for religion, and deify science. I would lure priests and pastors into misusing boys and girls, and church money. If I were the devil I’d make the symbols of Easter an egg and the symbol of Christmas a bottle.

“If I were the devil I’d take from those who have, and give to those who want until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious.

And what do you bet I could get whole states to promote gambling as the way to get rich? I would caution against extremes and hard work in Patriotism, in moral conduct. I would convince the young that marriage is old-fashioned, that swinging is more fun, that what you see on the TV is the way to be. And thus, I could undress you in public, and I could lure you into bed with diseases for which there is no cure. In other words, if I were the devil I’d just keep right on doing what he’s doing.

Paul Harvey, good day.”

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called “walking”.

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Poetry by Jim Wilson Mature Life Magic

After boiling down 74 years of life I have either gotten down to the distilled nectar or the scum at the bottom of the pot. Frankly any particular day can go either way, but this is what I want to tell you. Live in the now moment of your life, touch it, twist it, clarify it, gripe about it, enjoy it, but above all be conscious of it.

So live now. Make the most of it because now is where your pot is boiling and where you can turn the heat up or down as necessary. This is where you can affect your life. do it. Enjoy.

My verses are short and to the point. Plain English. I would love to hear from you. jwilson@abilene.com

Jim Wilson, our most talented poet, has written and published a wonderfully illustrated hardback children’s book Freckles and Speckles Save the Day!!!

Jim feels it is a story that had to be told. For information to purchase, you may email Jim at jwilson@ abilene.com or jamesraywilson. com. It is a truly delightful story.

Two cousin calves and their bad influence lead a younger calf to danger. But!! The book also includes pages to color, as well as pages for children to create their own pictures. We love the book, Jim.

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A twelve-zinnia bouquet five days cut still stands.

Two stems collapsed; blossoms face down now.

Others still smiling upright but dried, colors faded frayed and crinkled around the edges.

I see continued dignity, beauty, and function.

The hundred year old sagging prairie barn flaunts weathered paintless wood shades of decaying gray.

Rusty hinges still swing creaking groaning doors.

Role impaired but stored hay still dry I see continued dignity, beauty, and function.

My 1970 college friends boldly gathered.

Little contact in 50 years all aging in their places.

After introductions, recognition, and reminiscence the inner souls of character show polish by time.

I see continued dignity, beauty, and function.

Don’t Touch That Dial

Migration Weakness

I seldom turn on the television

The robins came back so did the purple martins and the hummingbirds

I don’t want streaming random intruders having the run of my place bringing their emotional distress wasting my precious fleeting time pretending to be real.

The sparrows never left, cleverly survived and happily flit about ths spring morning For our own good that’s where we should praise, see beauty and look to for example.

Throughout scripture, when the people shape up and start praying and worshiping the one God for all He has done, for His creation, and the people then ask for forgiveness for their sins, God sees what is truly in their hearts. He forgave them time and again and brought them relief from their dire situations.

I am an optimist because I believe God wants good. He wants us to succeed, to have fun, to love one another. I will forever be an optimist with the help of Jesus Christ.

“Finally, my brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.”

Philippians 4:8 (NIV) I admit it. I’m an eternal optimist. When things are looking dim and hopeless, my response is to wait it out and it will get better soon. I usually can see the light at the end of the tunnel long before anyone else.

And so far in my short 70 years on this earth, this has worked for me.

Growing up in a middle-size Company Texas town, I attended school, played sports, attended junior college, worked for “the Company” for 30 years, retired, moved to the Texas Hill Country, moved back, and settled in small-town America, Caldwell.

(The friendliest town ever!)

Just an average, happy-go-lucky life that we, our children, and their children will enjoy forever. No big deal, really.

WAKE UP AMERICA!!

Have you read the 1949 novel 1984 by George Orwell? It was required reading for me in school in the 60’s. The novel is long, almost 400 pages. Intriguing, frightening, maybe even enlightening in today’s world.

Per Wikipedia.org: Thematically, it (1984) centers on the consequences of totalitarianism, mass surveillance, and repressive regimentations of people and behaviors in society.

Since America was established, there has been no government telling me I can’t go to school; I can’t play sports; telling me where (or if) I can work; I can’t ever retire; I can’t move around; or I can’t worship and go to church.

Every chapter of this “average life” is only because of the FREEDOMS we all take for granted. Here is the definition of Freedom from Oxford Languages: The power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint We all know the ‘evils’ poking at us today. Many have been discussed in previous issues of The Front Porch. Food and supply shortages, exorbitant prices, defending our borders, deceit by those we trust in government, sex-traffic, abortion, untruthful media, and most recently the threat of nuclear activity.

So where do we, we Americans, we FREE Americans, go from here? Where do we look in times of trouble? We look UP!

IS THIS OUR FINAL BATTLE? I say NO! Perhaps we…all of us…can get on our knees and pray.

Pray for our leaders, for our Country, for our world. Let us pray for guidance from the Holy Spirit to lead us in the right direction to make a difference. Where do you want me to start, Lord?

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus, to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) Sandy Lou Miller

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Emergency Response or Planned Takeover? WHO Pandemic Treaty America’s Frontline Doctors (AFLDS) stands up for every American looking for the best quality healthcare by empowering doctors working on the front lines of our nation’s most pressing healthcare challenges. We help to amplify the voices of concerned physicians and patients nationwide to combat those who push political and economic agendas at the expense of science and quality healthcare solutions.

WHO calls for more power to be transferred to the WHO The World Health Organization (WHO), an agency of the UN, is lobbying the WHO’s 194 member states to ensure their ratification of the global agency’s Pandemic Treaty this coming May. The push appears to be a reaction to grassroots opposition to the treaty throughout the world. Fearing a string of defeats and a delay of the treaty’s adoption beyond the May 2024 deadline, WHO Director-General Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus accused those against the agreement of trying to sabotage it and of spreading fake news, lies, and conspiracy theories.

Defending the treaty, he assured all that no country would be ceding its sovereignty, claiming that since each member state was supposed to be involved in the agreement, they would all be

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agreeing to it.

According to this logic, surrendering sovereignty is not truly giving away sovereignty if one willingly relinquishes authority even if it is virtually irreversible and countries would face penalties for non-compliance.

Under the pretext that many lives would have been saved had countries been better prepared before COVID-19 hit, Tedros believes that, in the event of an epidemic, which he has the power to declare, his agency should take charge of every nation’s healthrelated matters, as well as issues that may somehow be related to health, such as a climate change. Without the agency’s direction, he argues, the world will be at risk of a variety of upcoming pandemics and worse.

A power grab for power’s sake?

However, it wasn’t the COVID-19 “pandemic” that gave rise to the alleged need for a treaty and more power for the agency, nor do the 194 member states all have a real part in drafting the agreement despite Tedros’ claims. The basic ideology supporting the measures detailed in the treaty, and the acquisition of greater power for those running the agency, were already publicized by the previous WHO director-general, Hong Kong-born and Canada-educated Dr. Margaret Chan. Like Tedros, who won his post as WHO director-general through Chinese backing, Chan was personally picked by Beijing for the post. The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) has been working its way into the WHO through the back door, as it were, in order to spread its agenda under the guise of public health needs.

Planned Further discrediting the narrative that COVID-19, with an average 98.2% survival rate among known COVID-19 cases, where 80% of the deaths were in individuals 65 years and older, and 94% of fatalities were in people who had at least 2.6 comorbidities, was the catalyst for the pandemic treaty, is the evidence that the power grab was already being formulated more than a decade ago.

In fact, when Tedros announced his perceived need for a pandemic treaty in 2021, he was arguably “working from the playbook” — one of his stated reasons for the treaty was to garner more power for the agency. As NPR’s Bill Chappell reported at the time: The COVID-19 pandemic proves that the world needs a pandemic treaty, says WHO Director-General Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus. It’s the one major change, Tedros said, that would do the most to boost global health security and also empower the World Health Organization. (Emphasis added.)

As such, the real goal of WHO leaders may have nothing to do with health and everything to do with a CCP/Marxist takeover under the guise of global health security — “for the public’s benefit.” And, the man who was the third most important person in the terrorist organization Tigrayan People’s Liberation Front (TPLF), and the former Health Minister of Ethiopia, who is not a doctor and ignored three cholera epidemics calling them watery diarrhea, is now the CCP picked WHO director-general, Tedros.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Two old ladies, Dolly and Ruby, are talking about

` their grandkids.

Thoughts for Seniors...

Dolly said, “Each year I send each of my grandchildren a card with a generous check inside….I never hear from them….they never even send a thank you note.”

You don’t need anger management. You need people to stop irritating you.

Ruby replies,” I too send my grandchildren a very generous check and I hear from them immediately.

In fact, they each pay me a personal visit”

Your people skills are just fine, It’s your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

“Wow! How Come ?” remarked Dolly “Very simply….I don’t sign the check”

Becoming an adult is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.

I hate it when I can’t figure out how to operate the iPad and my tech support guy is asleep.

He’s 5 and it’s past his bedtime.

“On time” is when you get there.

Even duct tape can’t fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound.

It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free...and three sizes smaller.

Lately, you’ve noticed people your age are so much older than you.

“One for the road’ means going to the bathroom before you leave the house.

Saying Goodbye: tHE FINAL BATTLE The decision to euthanize a pet can be a very easy or an extremely difficult one. Some pets and livestock may sustain a catastrophic injury in which death is eminent. The animal is suffering and humane euthanasia by a veterinarian or the owner is the most humane thing. However, what do you do with geriatric pets, horses or other farm animals that have been loyal, protective and productive all their life? What do you do with all of the stray and dumped animals in Burleson County that are forgotten and ignored by our county officials? These animals are diseased, starving and dying of exposure or wild predators every day. What is best for them, suffer or be euthanized? Today I will give you my thoughts on making the life ending judgement call. It is a very emotional decision because animals can not verbalize their wishes, however they can give you clues on what to do.

Quality of life is the main thing I can instill in your decision-making process. It’s no secret, animal life spans are shorter than humans and with age comes debilitating disease like cancer and organ failure. Organ failure can be divided out further to arthritis, senility, seizures, congestive heart failure, liver and kidney disease. It is always wise to have your pet evaluated, diagnosed and treated for these conditions.

Once the animal’s medical issues have reached a point which no more can be done to improve the quality of life, humane euthanasia by a veterinarian should be chosen. So many times, I have animal guardians wait too long because they are not brave enough to stand up for their pet’s right to die with dignity. Ask yourself one question when evaluating an animal’s quality of life, would you want to live that way?

So many times, I see not only house pets but farm animals that have reached the end of life but the guardians are not courageous enough to make that call and the animal dies very poorly. Would you want to die that way? Yes, very dark, but this is a morbid subject.

Besides catastrophic injury and disease there are other reasons for humane euthanasia. Animal behavior and overpopulation are the main culprits for this. The selection of a pet or farm animal should be based on the guardian’s ability to provide long term care and an environment that the animal will thrive in. Too many times I have clients purchas-

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ing animals they have no business owning. The mini craze comes to mind first. Just because you make a dog a midget does not mean the herding, aggression, hunting instincts will not be expressed! All animals are progeny of their parents, thus aggressive and unsocial dogs, cats, horses, cows and any other critters should not be propagated or bought! Always meet the parents before you marry that animal. Animals that are aggressive or are so unsocial that human interaction is dangerous should be humanely euthanized for safety and liability concerns.

Finally, the pet overpopulation problem in this county and the country should be addressed. As we discussed above, there are people breeding animals for profit without concerns for proper genetics and behavior. These unwanted animals are discarded in your and everyone else’s community. Unfortunately, many of these pets die very poorly or end up on your back porch to deal with. To address this issue, it will take a multi-prong approach. First, adopt an animal from a shelter or rescue organization like Haven Animal Rescue of Texas. Their pets are evaluated for temperament, health and desperately need a home.

Consider your ability to provide a long-term environment for the animal to thrive. Think long and hard before purchasing a pet from a breeder and purchase only from a reputable breeder. Finally, contact your county officials and ask them why they have not addressed the abandoned pet problem in Burleson County like many other counties. These folks will continue to ignore this issue unless their electorate raises hell!

I will leave you with a final thought. Life is worth living until it’s not and sometimes we need to be brave and make that final decision for the ones who cannot. Would you want to live that way or go to God? By the way, I personally would prefer to go to God than live four more years under the communist Biden regime.

Patriotically yours, Jack F McKemie, DVM

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Three Old Ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old.

The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.”

The second lady says, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”

The third one says, “Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have any of those problems, knock on wood.” As she hit her knuckles on the table she looked up and said, “That must be the door...I’ll get it!”

************ Two kids talking: Polly: “Does your grandmother read the Bible?”

Elaine: “Sure does. Day and night.”

Polly: “But why does she read it so much?”

Elaine: “I guess she’s cramming for her finals.” ************ One day, Max and Bob were watching a soap opera on television. On the show, there was a girl standing on a bridge. Max turned to Bob and said, “I bet you $5 that she’s going to jump off that bridge.”

Bob agreed to the bet. The girl in the show jumped off the bridge, and Bob handed Max the $5. Then Max felt guilty and said, “This is a re-run I already saw, I knew she was going to jump.” To which Bob replied, “I saw it before too, but I didn’t think the girl would be stupid enough to do it again!”

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

– Albert Einstein

Women only have 2 problems: 1. Nothing to wear 2. No room for all of their clothes

When the

ROAD IS ROUGH Put on Your

Seatbelt Rusty Walton is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, but has been a proud Texan for more than forty years. He and his wife, Brenda, currently make their home in Conroe, Texas, after serving as Senior Pastor of First Baptist Church of Conroe for nearly fifteen years. In retirement, Rusty has served seven Texas churches as an Intentional Interim pastor, assisting those churches to prepare for a successful newly “installed” minister. Additionally, Rusty and Brenda enjoy their two children, son and daughter-in-law, and five grandchildren, one of whom is a proud Texas Aggie.

(Whoop!)

Most people are aware that right now our world does not seem to be a very safe place. Ours ears are tuned to biblical end-time prophecy because of all the current global turmoil including Jesus’ warnings about “wars and rumors of wars” as signs of the end of planet Earth. Lately, we are hearing more sermons on “Armageddon” and the final battle of good over evil, and reading more books on the subject than in recent history because the whole world seems scared to death. And who can blame us? But I’ve got good news.

If you are worried about the final great battle of Armageddon, let me calm your fears. The battle, though real and violent, already has been decided. God wins. That doesn’t mean we can ignore world conflicts, but it does mean we get to choose which side of the battle we are on, celebrating the benefits of our wise choice.

Other final battles, however, are still to be fought and the outcome may not be as sure. For example, I’ve been married for a long time, but I still can’t figure out my wife. She is a wonderful girl, but I’m not sure we are “equally yoked” as it says in the Bible. Somehow she seems to have more “yoke” than I do.

We grew up in the same church, were friends before we fell in love, have similar life goals, and share the same cultural and spiritual values. But somehow we still manage to have disagreements, usually about small things that seem bigger than they really are at the moment. One day after an argument I said to her, “I hope this is our last fight.” She replied, “It will be if you just do what I want.”

What I heard her say in my head was, “All you have to do is surrender.” (I “bowed up” and secretly decided to never surrender. That may not have been a good thing.)

Sometimes our arguments would never happen if one of us would just go ahead and get that Beltone hearing aid we know we need.

When our children were still living at home they would tease me about my hearing. If I asked what one of them said, they would respond loudly “Beltone,” meaning I should invest in a hearing aid. I took their good natured teasing with mature, adult laughter, but it did become a little irritating over time. One day my wife and I were driving out on the highway and she said something I didn’t understand. When I said, “Huh?” she replied, “Beltone”.

I got upset at her disrespectful manner and demanded an apology. “I don’t mind the kids teasing me, but you should know better. I am not hard of hearing. Please be more respectful. I certainly do not need a hearing aid.” She just stared at me with a semi-smile for a few seconds before responding in her kind, patient, angelic voice. “I didn’t say Beltone, honey. I said, put your Seat-Belt-On.” (Maybe I was the one who should have been a little more respectful.)

This wasn’t our final battle, mainly because I’m not interested in surrendering my right to be wrong. Marriage battles may not be Armageddon, but deep down most men are smart enough to know the outcome has already been decided. She wins. The best thing to do is just surrender and enjoy the benefits of being on the right side.

CDW Thanks for reading.

CDW Copyright 2023 Reproduction only by permission

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Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

Welcome to Texas Winter is at 6am Spring starts at 10am Summer is at 2pm And fall starts around 4:30ish Dress Accordingly

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CLEARED FOR TAKEOFF

Kavon Novak, Fightin’ Texas Aggie class of ‘91, is a Registered Investment Consultant with LPL Financial. He holds a Series 7, 24, 63, and 65 license. Kavon has been in the financial industry since 1998 and is a multi-year “Outstanding Client Service” award recipient. He serves as a Caldwell City Alderman and is an active member on the Brazos Valley Council of Governments Board of Directors. In addition, he is involved with the Burleson County Chamber of Commerce and the Caldwell Men’s Lions Club. For a complementary financial consultation call 979-255-8796.

Cleared for Takeoff

Planning To Retire Within Five Years or so? Include These Three Exercises in Your Flight Plan You’re first step is to get the most comprehensive, clear and accurate picture of your annual expenses that you can. For reference, collect your credit card statements and checking/savings account statements from the past 12 months (most banks and credit card companies let you download a yearly review of all your transactions organized into charts and graphs so you can get a clear look at your total annual spending). You may already have a good handle on your biggest expenses each month, like housing, transportation, food, cable and cell phone. You’ll want to make sure to include other fixed costs, such as insurance (all coverages), haircuts or salon visits, gym memberships, streaming services, wellness exams and dental cleanings.

Perhaps the most important part of this step is to review all of your one-off and variable purchases to better understand how they can impact your overall yearly spend. Reviewing these transactions can show you how much you really spent on coffee, home improvement projects, online purchases, manicures and pedicures, dining out, spur-of-themoment weekend getaways and other items. Really digging into your entire year-in-review can also help you notice patterns in your spending, like when there are increases around vacations, holidays, birthdays and other annual events.

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CLEARED FOR TAKEOFF (Cont’d) Inspect Your Retirement Income Sources

Now that you know what you’ll need, it’s time to inspect any sources of income you can count on each month in retirement. Some examples include: • Social Security. This Social Security Quick Calculator (https://www.ssa.gov/OACT/quickcalc/) lets you estimate your monthly benefit checks. Try entering various retirement dates to see how waiting or claiming earlier will affect your checks.

• Income from rental properties • An annuity • A work pension • Withdrawals from retirement savings (a very general rule of thumb is to budget a 4% annual withdrawal rate from retirement accounts)

Avoid Turbulence With Healthcare Costs While Medicare is a valuable benefit for those age 65 and older, it isn’t free and it doesn’t cover everything.

Health-care costs include deductibles, premiums and things Medicare doesn’t cover, such as prescription drugs, vision and dental care, hearing aids, home care and nursing homes. Therefore, before you retire: • Start saving money toward covering these potential costs • Enroll in a health savings account to help reduce taxes (if available) • Look into long-term-care insurance; it may be worthwhile if you are eligible and young enough to qualify for a reasonable rate • Do your research before signing up for Medicare. Will you choose Original Medicare and supplemental (“Medigap”) insurance? Or will you choose Medicare Advantage, a popular type of private insurance coverage? Sign up now for Medicare’s newsletter to get updates and stay informed regarding all your options (https://tinyurl.com/3h3mdby4).

This material was created for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as ERISA, tax, legal or investment advice. If you are seeking investment advice specific to your needs, such advice services must be obtained on your own separate from this educational material.

Kmotion, Inc., 412 Beavercreek Road, Suite 611, Oregon City, OR 97045; www.kmotion.com ©2023 Kmotion, Inc. This newsletter is a publication of Kmotion, Inc., whose role is solely that of publisher. The articles and opinions in this newsletter are those of Kmotion. The articles and opinions are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. Nothing in this publication shall be construed as providing investment counseling or directing employees to participate in any investment program in any way. Please consult your financial advisor or other appropriate professional for further assistance with regard to your individual situation.

RP-841-0523 Tracking #1-05376253 (Exp. 05/24)

I Have Learned...

By Omer B. Washington I’ve learned-that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned-that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned-that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned-that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned-that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.

I’ve learned-that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned-that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned-that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned-that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I’ve learned-that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned-that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I’ve learned-that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned-that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I’ve learned-that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned-that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learned-that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned-that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned-that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned-that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I’ve learned-that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

I’ve learned-that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned-that our background and circumstances may have

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influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned-that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.

I’ve learned-that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned-that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned-that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned-that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I’ve learned-that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned-that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I’ve learned-that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I’ve learned-that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.

I’ve learned-that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

The

Generous One “Some people!” snorted a man standing behind me in the long line at the grocery store.

“You would think the manager would pay attention and open another line,” said a woman.

I looked to the front of the line to see what the hold up was. I saw a well dressed, young woman, trying to get the machine to accept her credit card. No matter how many times she swiped it, the machine kept rejecting it.

“It’s one of them welfare card things. Damn people need to get a job like everyone else,” said the man standing behind me.

The young woman turned around to see who had made the comment.

“It was me,” he said, pointing to himself.

The young lady’s face began to change expression. Almost in tears, she dropped the welfare card onto the counter and quickly walked out of the store. Everyone in the checkout line watched as she began running to her car. Never looking back, she got in and drove away.

After developing cancer in 1977 and having had to use food stamps, I had learned never to judge anyone without knowing the circumstances of their life. This turned out to be the case today.

Several minutes later a young man walked into the store.

He went up to the cashier and asked if she had seen the woman.

After describing her, the cashier told him that she had run out of the store, gotten into her car, and driven away.

“Why would she do that?” asked the man.

Everyone in the line looked around at the fellow who had made the statement.

“I made a stupid comment about the welfare card she was using. Something I shouldn’t have said. I’m sorry,” said the man.

“Well, that’s bad—real bad, in fact. Her brother was killed in Afghanistan two years ago. He had three young children and she has taken on that responsibility. She is twenty years old, single, and now has three children to support,” he said in a very firm voice.

“I’m really truly sorry. I didn’t know,” he replied, shaking both his hands about.

“Are these paid for?” he then asked. He pointed to the shopping cart full of groceries.

“It wouldn’t take her card,” the clerk told him.

“Do you know where she lives?” asked the man who had made the comment.

“Yes, she goes to our church.”

“Excuse me,” he said as he made his way to the front of the line. He pulled out his wallet, took out his credit card and told the cashier, “Please use my card. PLEASE!” The clerk took his credit card and began to ring up the young woman’s groceries.

“Hold on,” said the gentleman. He walked back to his shopping cart and began loading his own groceries onto the belt to be included.

“Come on people. We got three kids to help raise!” he told everyone in line.

Everyone began to place their groceries onto the fast moving belt. A few customers began bagging the food and placing it into separate carts.

“Go back and get two big turkeys,” yelled a heavyset woman, as she looked at the man.

“NO,” yelled the man.

Everyone stopped dead in their tracks. The entire store became quiet for several seconds.

“Four turkeys,” yelled the man.

Everyone began laughing and went back to work.

When all was said and done, the man paid a total of $1,646.57 for the groceries.

He walked over to the side, pulled out his check book, and began writing a check—using the bags of dog food piled near the front of the store for a writing surface. He turned around and handed the check to the young man.

“She will need a freezer and a few other things as well,” he told the man.

The young man looked at the check and said, “This is really very generous of you.”

“No,” said the man. “Her brother was the generous one.”

Everyone in the store began to clap.

I drove home that day feeling very American.

Burleson County

Concerned Citizens for A Better Education “Teaching Our Children the Love of Numbers”

Early last year an idea was conceived by Brad and Syl- support children’s events throughout this county, future

via Oliver to increase overall math literacy for Burleson County children. In what can only be described as fate, he was introduced to Heidi Frazier with the Harrie P. Woodson Memorial Library. Their cooperative efforts birthed a non-profit, Burleson County Concerned Citizens for Better Education (BCCCFBE) culminating in the first Math Bee ever to be held in the city. The competition used only Basic flashcards 0 through 12 (except Division).

Now ask yourselves this question: what can be done to incentivize the Children to put down the phone and to actually want to learn math? Mr. Oliver said “It’s simple, cold, hard, cash. Develop incentivized learning competitions that augment the efforts of public, private, and homeschools. It should not be a forced curriculum, rather entice them to participate in a head-to-head competition. It has the human connection that our young people long for. If parents could only grasp the idea of free and open competitions which levels the playing field for any child regardless of social status. I really believe this is half the battle.

Together, we can organize and build Burleson County educational competitions for many subjects that would not only benefit the students, but all the family and friends who would come out to watch. Anyone who was able to attend the Math Bee saw our children competing in what was the most exciting event since Mike Stone played for Caldwell!”

The Math bee provided cash prizes for 3 Tiers of competition. The Tiers are 3rd through 5th, 6th through 8th, and 9th through 12th. First Place for each of the Tiers was ($1,500), Second ($500), Third ($250). All the money was given out that night of December 9th, giving the children some Christmas money. Heidi Frazier and her assistant from the Harry P. Memorial worked extra hard to make sure awards were also provided. It really was a great time for everyone.

Around the World Math Bee was the result of many hours of planning with much more to be done for future competitions. BCCCFBE is hoping to take this Bee to both Somerville and Snook Schools if funding permits. Mr. and Mrs. Oliver hope to make this a continual annual event for Burleson County but cannot do this without your help.

The combined cost was approximately $10,000 per Competition. Given the generosity of many philanthropists who

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Math Bees should be no problem. If you, or someone you know has a passion for children, please reach out and give.

You can reach Brad at (979) 492-8273 or Sylvia at (979) 492-5852 to discuss anything relating to this organization.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly.

After long hours of effort, he reaches the top, jumps into the air waving his front legs, until he crashes heavily into the ground with a hard knock on his shell.

After recovering his consciousness, he starts to climb the tree again, jumps again, and knocks the ground heavily again.

The little turtle persisted again and again while a couple of birds sitting at the edge of a branch watched the turtle with pain.

Suddenly the female bird says to the male, “Hey dear, I think it’s time to tell our little turtle he is adopted.” ************ When she walked into the kitchen, she found her husband walking around wielding a fly swatter.

“Albert, what are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m hunting flies,” he said.

“Oh, I see Did you kill any?” she asked.

“Yep, three males two females,” he replied in a confident tone.

The woman was intrigued by her husband’s apparent fly knowledge.

She asked, “But how can you tell the difference between males and females?”

He replied, “Easy Three were on the beer can and two were on the phone.”

If a cookie falls on the floor and you pick it up……. that counts as a squat, right?

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While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator was tragically hit by a car and died.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the Senator.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven.

Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really?, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the Senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.

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Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, “Now it’s time to visit heaven...”

So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven.

Now choose your eternity.”

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell...

Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

“I don’t understand,” stammers the Senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The devil smiles at him and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning, Today, you voted..”

Vote wisely on Election Day!!!

The Home Run

by Sandy Miller

Sandy Miller is a newcomer to Burleson County. She and husband Lee moved to Caldwelll in 2022. Sandy loves to write and has ventured into creating children’s books, poetry, and short stories. The Millers enjoy working their two acres and just appreciating God’s wonderful creations in nature.

The crowd roars as Sandy swings the bat. She hears a familiar chant, Sandy, Sandy, Sandy! as she crosses home plate. She is hoisted up onto her teammates’ shoulders for a well-deserved hero’s celebration.

A noise from the checker room breaks Sandy out of her daydream. She finds herself sitting idly in her wheelchair, covered with a crocheted quilt her daughter had made her, staring out the window, but not really seeing anything. She tries to remember when she started feeling this way. Was it five, no seven years ago when she came to live here at Willowridge Nursing Home? At 86, she finds herself pondering life in general and how much longer she’ll be around. So this must be what they call Old Age, she thought. The time when a person starts assessing her life, where she has been, what she has contributed to this world. Sandy realizes that her life is pretty much over, she is no longer included as part of active society.

She reads the obituaries every day. She chuckles to herself at her sedentary lifestyle, thinking back to her active days when she was young. Sandy was one of the area’s top athletes, playing soccer, softball, and volleyball, tennis and swimming. Does anyone here know that? Does anyone care? Quickly a gloom falls back over her.

The nurse wheels Trudy to the living area next to Sandy, locking the wheels before going to tend to another resident. Sandy smiles at Trudy, who is clutching her own handmade quilt, and Sandy welcomes the company. Trudy has Alzheimer’s disease, but she’s a good listener. Sandy believes that Trudy is smarter than everyone gives her credit for and values her companionship. “Did I ever tell you about the National Softball Tournament, Trudy?” she asks. Trudy smiles, giving Sandy the go-ahead to tell her story once again.

“I was always good in sports, Trudy. Always the quickest infielder, the top hitter, the fastest runner. Life was so easy then, so carefree.

You know my father always expected me to be the best, he wouldn’t stand for anything less.” Trudy nods knowingly. “I had a dream of hitting the winning home run with everyone meeting me at the plate, waiting to carry me on their shoulders, you know, like on TV.” “The National Tournament of 1972. Being the first one held in the United States, this tournament had publicity in the local newspaper for a solid week! The Brazosport All Stars were predicted to win the tournament, and I was proud to have been picked as the starting

third baseman. We were in the quarter finals on Saturday. We only had to win two more games to be in the finals, of the VERY FIRST national tournament!”

“We were behind by one in the bottom of the last inning, and I came to bat with two outs. I can remember the pressure as I stepped up to the plate. I looked at the third base coach to get my signal. I turned to face the pitcher. Thinking I was going to bunt, the first and third basemen moved towards me. I drew the bat back and swung, and the ball scooted safely into left field for a single. Oh, you should have heard the crowd roar when I stole second on the next pitch!”

“Standing on second base, I can still remember that knot in the pit of my stomach as I wanted so badly for the next batter to get a hit. I got my wish when she got a clean hit into left-center field.

Running as hard as I ever had, I rounded third base and the coach signaled for me to go for home. I had the feeling of running in slow motion as I tried to reach home for the tying run. Two steps before touching home plate, I heard a loud You’re Out! from the second base umpire. Looking back, I saw where the batter had tried to stretch a single into a double and had been tagged for the third out.

I was devastated, Trudy. We lost our chance for the championship.

No one was going to carry me on their shoulders, no one was going to cheer for me - we had lost and the game was over. My home run was never going to come.”

Sandy and Trudy were interrupted by an obnoxious beep, beep, beep. Sandy looked down and realized that the electronic baseball game that her grandson had given her was making the noise. She had apparently been fingering the keys while telling Trudy about her final softball game. Sandy held up the video game and laughed out loud. “Look Trudy, I did it! I finally hit my home run!”

What Goes Around Comes Around He almost didn't see the old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help.

So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so ..... was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry.

He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold.

He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you.

He said, "I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson."

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.

As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk.

The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her.

She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid.

This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life helping others, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.

He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, "And think of me."

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home.

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A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase.

The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude.

The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan.

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be.

Then she noticed something written on the napkin. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: "You don't owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you."

Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard.

She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, "Everything's gonna be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson."

There is an old saying "What goes around comes around."

I AM THE FLAG of the United States of America.

My name is Old Glory.

I fly atop the world’s tallest buildings.

I stand watch in America’s halls of justice.

I fly majestically over institutions of learning.

I stand guard with power in the world.

Look up and see me.

I stand for peace, honor, truth and justice.

I stand for freedom. I am confident.

I am arrogant. I am proud.

When I am flown with my fellow banners, My head is a little higher, My colors a little truer.

I bow to no one!

I am recognized all over the world.

I am worshipped - I am saluted.

I am loved - I am revered.

I am respected - I am feared.

I have fought in every battle of every war for more than 200 years.

I was flown at Valley Forge, Gettysburg, Shiloh and Appamatox.

I was there at San Juan Hill, the trenches of France, in the Argonne Forest, Anzio, Rome and the beaches of Normandy.

Guam, Okinawa, Korea and KheSan, Saigon, Vietnam know me.

I was there. I led my troops.

I was dirty, battleworn and tired, but my soldiers cheered me and I was proud.

I have been burned, torn and trampled on the streets of countries I have helped set free.

It does not hurt for I am invincible

I have been soiled upon, burned, torn and trampled in the streets of my country.

And when it’s done by those whom I’ve served in battle - it hurts.

But I shall overcome - for I am strong.

I have slipped the bonds of earth and stood watch over the uncharted frontiers of space from my vantage point on the moon.

I have born silent witness to all of America’s finest hours.

But my finest hours are yet to come.

When I am torn into strips and used as bandages for my wounded comrades on the battle field, when I am flown at halfmast to honor my soldier, or when I lie in the trembling arms of a grieving parent at the grave of their fallen son or daughter, I am proud.

I am the flag of the United States of America.

Watermelon Lemonade 8 cups cubed seedless watermelon 2 (12 ounce) cans frozen lemonade concentrate 4 cups water Place watermelon ina blender or food processor. Cover and blend on medium speed until smooth.

Place lemonade concentrate and water in a large pitcher or punch bowl.

Add watermelon and mix well.

Watermelon Salad with Mint Leaves 1 (5-pound) watermelon 1 sween onion 1/3 cup red or white wine vinegar Sald and freshly-ground pepper 1/3 to 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil 2 Tbs chopped fresh mint leaves 6 whole mint springs (for garnish)

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Cut the flesh from the melon and cut into bite-size pieces, removing and discarding any seeds. Place watermelon pieces in a large serving bowl. Peal and slice the onion into rings. Gently combine the onion rings and water melon together.

In a small bowl, combine the vinegar, salt and pepper; whisk until salt is dissolved.

Slowly whisk in the olive oil, a few drops at a time. Add in the chopped mint. Pour the dressing over the melon/onion mixture and toss gently until coated evenly. Garnish.

Creamy Watermelon Ice Cream 1/2 cup freshly juiced watermelon 1 tsp vanilla extract 1 cup milk 1 cup cream 1/4 cup honey Wash watermelon, Cut in half. With a spoon, scoop out chunks of watermelon and juice them in a juicer until you have 1/2 cup of juice.

Add watermelon juice, vanilla, milk, cream and honey to blender.

Blend on a lower setting just until smooth and combined, about 5 seconds. Be careful not to blend too long, you don’t want a lot of air in the mixture. If any foam forms on the top, remove this with a spoon.

Pour mixture into ice cream maker.

Turn machine on and mix according to your ice cream maker’s instructions.

Ice cream will start to have a “soft serve” texture when it is done. If you prefer it to be a little firmer or need to serve it later, place in the freezer to harden. Yields 1 quart.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Converted to Christianity A Jewish son tells his father he is moving out.

The son returns a year later and tells his father that he has converted to Christianity. The father is upset and calls his friend who is also Jewish. “You won’t believe this, my son David moved out for a year and came back and told me he converted to Christianity.”

His friend says, “you won’t believe this...my son Benjamin moved away for a year and when he came back HE converted to Christianity too”!

Both upset, they call their rabbi and explain what happened. The rabbi says, “you won’t believe this, my son Joshua moved away and when HE came back he told me he converted to Christianity too”!

The rabbi suggests they call God and tell him. The rabbi tells God that all three men had sons who moved away and converted to Christianity and don’t know what to do.

God says to them, “you won’t believe this...

The Front Porch Magazine would like to thank all our advertisers.

Without you this magazine would not have existed.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers At this point if I get Picked Up by aliens I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction Having a teenage daughter is like having a cat that only comes out to eat and hisses when you try and be nice to it.

A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got one in my Yugo!”

The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, “Yes I have a phone.”

The driver of the Yugo says, “Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there too? I’ve got a fridge in the back seat of my Yugo!”

The driver of the Rolls, looking annoyed, says, “Yes, I have a refrigerator.”

A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!”

The driver of the Yugo says, “Very cool car!

Hey, you got a bed in there, too? I got a bed in the back of my Yugo!”

Upset that he did not have a bed, the driver of the Rolls-Royce sped away, and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered that a bed be installed in the back of the Rolls.

The next morning, the driver of the Rolls picked up the car.

The bed looked superb, complete with silk sheets and brass trim.

It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls Royce.

So the driver of the Rolls begins searching for the Yugo, and he drove all day.

Finally, late at night, he finds the Yugo parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside.

The driver of the Rolls got out and knocked on the Yugo.

When there wasn’t any answer, he knocked and knocked, and eventually the owner stuck his head out, soaking wet.

“I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce,” the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly.

The driver of the Yugo looked at him and said, “You got me out of the shower for that?!”

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From the Desk of Greg Abbott Governor of Texas We received this message from Governor Abbott and decided to share it with you.

Time is up for smugglers of illegal immigrants in Texas.

A new law now takes effect that imposes a mandatory minimum sentence of 10 years for those smugglers.

In December 2023, I signed a new Texas law that increased the minimum mandatory sentence for convicted smugglers of illegal immigrants from two years to 10 YEARS.

Texas has had enough of the lawlessness! That’s why our state has taken matters into our own hands to fill the dangerous gaps created by Biden’s open border policies.

- We are BUILDING the Texas border wall.

- We are DEPLOYING more Texas National Guard soldiers and razor wire barriers.

- We are TRANSPORTING migrants to sanctuary cities across the nation.

Our message is clear: Texas has zero tolerance for those who seek to exploit President Biden’s open border policies - We are ENFORCING border security laws to defend and and endanger our Texas communities. protect our border.

Joe Biden has ABANDONED the Texas border, allowing thousands of human smugglers, drug traffickers, and violent criminals to enter our country illegally.

We will continue to use every tool and strategy to DEFEND TEXAS! Texas has seen the dire consequences of open borders: the threat it poses to our commuhjnities, the strain on our resources, and the tragedy of lives lost. Texas will NEVER back down from the fight to defend our border ffrom Biden’s lawlessness.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning.

She did this religiously and lived to the age of 103.

She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

The Pope was state bound scheduled to give a speech in Dallas, TX. On their way to the venue the Pope rolls down the privacy glass in the limo and says to his chauffeur, “Hey, you know what? I’ve always rode in these things, but I’ve never driven one! Do you mind if we switch spots?”

Being it was the Pope himself, the chauffeur felt he couldn’t say no so he obliged and exchanged seats.

It had been years since the Pope had driven, and he was having the time of his life cruising down the interstate going over 100mph!

Consequently he was clocked by a state trooper and pulled over. As the trooper approached the vehicle and got a glance at the driver he quickly turned around and returned to his squad car to call his supervisor.

The trooper called in and told the sergeant, “Sergeant, I’m afraid I pulled over someone very very important.”

To which the reply came, “Well, who is it, the governor?”

“No, no, much more important than that!”

“The President?!”

“I’m afraid even more important than that!”

“Well, who the heckl is it then?!”

“I don’t know, but his chauffeur is the Pope!”

The “big green lie”

is a power grab that ruins the environment and will destroy the oil industry that the world depends on.

Imagine Florida with a hurricane coming toward Miami. The How do you charge the thousands of cars in the traffic jam? governor orders an evacuation. All cars head north. They all Same problem during summer vacation departures with miles of traffic jams. Yes, AAA is starting to prepare tow trucks to charge need to be charged somewhere before or in Jacksonville. electric vehicles. How many can they charge before returning to home base and recharge the trucks?

How does that work.? Has anyone thought about this.

If all cars were electric and were caught up in a three-hour traffic jam with dead batteries, then what? Not to mention that there’s virtually no heating or air conditioning in an electric vehicle because of high battery consumption.

If you get stuck on the road all night, no battery, no heating, no windshield wipers, no radio, no GPS (all these drains the batteries), all you can do is try calling 911 to take women and children to safety. But they cannot come to help you because all roads are blocked, and they will probably require all police cars to be electric also. When the roads become unblocked no one can move!

Their batteries are dead.

There would be virtually no air conditioning in an electric vehicle. It would drain the batteries quickly. Where is this electricity going to come from? Today’s grid barely handles users’ needs.

Can’t use nuclear, natural gas is quickly running out. Oil fired is out of the question, then where?

What will be done with billions of dead batteries, can’t bury them in the soil, can’t go to landfills. The cart is way ahead of the horse.

No thought whatsoever to handle any of the problems that batteries can cause.

The press doesn’t want to talk or report on any of this.

“RESISTANCE IS NOT FUTILE” 58

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers “We rarely use the word cure,” said the psychiatrist to his patient.

“But, after five years of therapy it is my pleasure to pronounce you completely cured.”

To his surprise, an unhappy look came over his patient’s face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked “I thought you’d be thrilled.”

“Oh, it’s fine for you,” his patient said, “but try to look at it from my point of view.

Three years ago I was Napoleon...Now I’m nobody.” ************ After a preacher dies and goes to Heaven, he notices that a New York cab driver has been awarded a higher place.

“I don’t understand,” he complains to Saint Peter, I devoted my entire life to my congregation.”

“Our policy here in Heaven is to reward results,” St Peter explained.

“Now, did your congregation pay attention every time you gave a sermon?”

“Well,” the minister admitted,” some in the congregation fell asleep from time to time.”

“Exactly,” said Peter, “And when people rode in this man’s taxi, they not only stayed awake, they prayed nonstop.”

the fly convention

by Neal Beard, a retired pastor living in Douglasville, Georgia.

He writes history/humor about the rural northwest Georgia community where he grew up in the 40s and 50s.

I started shinnying up the ladder of learning at Bill Arp school in 1946. We were dirty, but happy. We had not yet been inconvenienced with hygienic hype. In the fifth grade we studied a health book, and learned we were unsanitary. We didn’t do anything about it, but at least we knew.

When I began school, we had a rest room for boys and one for girls. They were discreetly positioned behind the schoolhouse. In hot weather they were less discreet.

Our hands were always dirty. We ate our lunches with crusted hands. If anyone had mentioned germs, we would have assumed they referred to small Germans. And, because of World War II, Germans had fallen out of favor.

Some homes in Bill Arp had five rooms and a bath. Ours had five rooms and a path. Our outhouse squatted about 100 feet on one side of the house; the barn drooped about the same distance on the other side.

The flies ran shifts.

One crew worked the outhouse while another labored in the barn. At shift change they congregated in the house to exchange greetings. A lot of them liked inside better than outside employment, so they transferred. We had screen doors and windows, and occasionally we opened them to let the flies out for fresh air and exercise.

Soon they would organize a fly convention in the kitchen. They had dive bombing exhibitions, nose tickling lessons, cornbread eating contests, nasty classes, and seminars on various forms of germ warfare.

Mama soon tired of the conventioneers antics. She would close the doors, and windows, and torpedo the enemy with DDT. About an hour after she sprayed, she opened the house

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up. Dead flies were laid out like slain soldiers. We were fly free, until a new crew hatched in the – well, hatched.

We did bathe regularly - every week. Mama would send us, one at a time, into a back room with a wash pan full of hot water, a bar of Lifebuoy soap, and a washcloth. Our instructions were to start at our head, and wash as low as possible; start at our feet, and washed as high as possible. Then wash possible.

In the Air Force I enjoyed a daily shower and began a sanitary existence. Most of my adult life has been spent in an unpolluted state.

In an interview, when he was the heavy weight boxing champion of the world, Leon Spinks said, “I’ve been poor, and I’ve been rich.

Rich is better.” My philosophy has been, I’ve been dirty and I’ve been clean.

Clean is better.

Now, a different tale is told. There is a book, just published, entitled Riddled With Life. Marlene Zuk, a professor of biology at the University of California, Riverside, is the author. Her topics include: Why we can’t possibly make ourselves sick by violating some of today’s commonly accepted rules of hygiene. And she makes a believable case that our minds are positively influenced by parasites (I don’t think she’s referring to congress).

According to her book, our immune systems fight harder in unclean surroundings, making them stronger and us healthier. She teaches that the negative aspects of the absence of germs is that people have more allergies, asthma, and diseases.

The professor may be right. Mama was exposed to unsanitary living conditions, ate fat meat, breathed second hand smoke and DDT, and lived to be 94. Could it be, that now nasty is nice?

The Difference Between Men and Women

Let’s say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they’re driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: “Do you realize that, as of tonight, we’ve been seeing each other for exactly six months?”

And then, there is silence in the car.

To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he’s been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I’m trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn’t want, or isn’t sure of.

And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I’m not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I’d have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Fred is thinking: ...so that means it was...let’s see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer’s, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa!

I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Martha is thinking: He’s upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I’m reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that’s it. That’s why he’s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He’s afraid of being rejected.

And Fred is thinking: And I’m gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don’t care what those morons say, it’s still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It’s 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Martha is thinking: He’s angry. And I don’t blame him. I’d be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can’t help the way I feel. I’m just not sure.

And Fred is thinking: They’ll probably say it’s only a 90-day warranty...scumballs.

And Martha is thinking: Maybe I’m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I’m sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with,

a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I’ll give them a warranty. I’ll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

“Fred,” Martha says aloud.

“What?” says Fred, startled.

“Please don’t torture yourself like this,” she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. “Maybe I should never have...oh dear, I feel so...”(She breaks down, sobbing.)

“What?” says Fred.

“I’m such a fool,” Martha sobs. “I mean, I know there’s no knight. I really know that. It’s silly. There’s no knight, and there’s no horse.”

“There’s no horse?” says Fred.

“You think I’m a fool, don’t you?” Martha says.

“No!” says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer.

“It’s just that...it’s that I...I need some time,” Martha says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

“Yes,” he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

“Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?” she says.

“What way?” says Fred.

“That way about time,” says Martha.

“Oh,” says Fred. “Yes.” (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

“Thank you, Fred,” she says.

“Thank you,” says Fred.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it’s better if he doesn’t think about it.

The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.

They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha’s, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: “Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?”

And that’s the difference between men and women.

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Walking down a path through some woods in Georgia in 1977, 1 saw a water puddle ahead on the path. I angled my direction to go around it on the part of the path that wasn’t covered by water and mud. As I reached the puddle, I was suddenly attacked!

Yet I did nothing for the attack was so unpredictable and from a source so totally unexpected. I was startled as well as unhurt, despite having been struck four or five times already. I backed up a foot and my attacker stopped attacking me. Instead of attacking more, he hovered in the air on graceful butterfly wings in front of me. Had I been hurt I wouldn’t have found it amusing, but I was unhurt, it was funny, and I was laughing. After all, I was being attacked by a butterfly!

Having stopped laughing, I took a step forward. My attacker rushed me again. He rammed me in the chest with his head and body, striking me over and over again with all his might, still to no avail. For a second time, I retreated a step while my attacker relented in his attack.

Yet again, I tried moving forward. My attacker charged me again. I was rammed in the chest over and over again. I wasn’t sure what to do, other than to retreat a third time, after all, it’s just not everyday that one

is attacked by a butterfly. This time, though, I stepped back several paces to look

the situation over. My attacker moved back as well to land on the ground. That’s

when I discovered why my attacker was charging me only moments earlier.

He had a mate and she was dying. She was beside the puddle where he landed. Sitting close beside her, he opened and closed his wings as if to fan her. I could only admire the love and courage of that butterfly in his concern for his mate. He had taken it upon himself to attack me for his mate’s sake, even though she was clearly dying and I was so large. He did so just to give her those extra few precious moments of life, should I have been careless enough to step on her.

Now I knew why and what he was fighting for. There was really only one option left for me. I carefully made my way around the puddle to the other side of the path, though it was only inches wide and extremely muddy. His courage in attacking something thousands of times larger and heavier than himself just for his mate’s safety justified it. I couldn’t do anything other than reward him by walking on the more difficult side of the puddle. He had truly earned those moments to be with her, undisturbed. I left them in peace for those last few moments, cleaning the mud from my boots when I later reached my car.

Since then, I’ve always tried to remember the courage of that butterfly whenever I see huge obstacles facing me. I use that butterfly’s courage as an inspiration and to remind myself that good things are worth fighting for.

From the Back Porch Amusing Stories From Here and There

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had set their new wives straight on their duties.

The first man had married a woman from Penn. and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house.

He said that it took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from West Virginia. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and cooking.

He told them that the first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Texas girl. He boasted that he told her his house was to be cleaned, dishes washed, the cooking done and laundry washed. And this was all her responsibility.

He said the first day he didn’t see anything and the second day he didn’t see anything but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down so he could see a little out of his left eye!

Got to love Texas Women! ************ Actual ads taken out of the classified section...

FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.

FREE PUPPIES Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.

Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

The Discretion One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth’s academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, “Did you obtain any scholarships in school?”

The youth answered “none”.

The director asked, “Was it your father who paid for your school fees?”

The youth answered, “My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.

The director asked, “Where did your mother work?”

The youth answered, “My mother worked as clothes cleaner.

The director requested the youth to show his hands.

The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, “Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?”

The youth answered, “Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books.

Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.

The director said, “I have a request...

When you go back today, go and clean your mother’s hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.”

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high.

When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands.

His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother’s hands slowly.

His tear fell as he did that.

It was the first time he noticed that his mother’s hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands.

Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee.

The bruises in the mother’s hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother’s hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time. The next morning, the youth went to the director’s office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth’s eyes, asked:

“Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?”

The youth answered, “I cleaned my mother’s hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes.”

The Director asked, “Pease tell me your feelings.”

The youth said, “I know now what is appreciation, without my mother, there would not the successful me today.”

“By working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done.”

“I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.”

The director said, “This is what I am looking for to be my manager.”

“I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.”

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates.

Every employee worked diligently and as a team.

The company’s performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop “entitlement mentality” and would always put himself first.

He would be ignorant of his parent’s efforts.

When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others.

For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement.

He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?

You can let your kid live in a big house, give him a driver for going around, eat a good meal, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it.

After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters.

Tell them to travel in public transport, It is not because you do not have money for car or to hire a maid, but it is because you want to Love them in a right way.

You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow grey, same as the mother of that young person.

The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done…

65

Being “Freeeeee” Was His Game

Polly Williams is a doctor’s daughter, pastor’s wife, mother of 3 sons, farmer’s wife and widow. At 40, she completed her R.N. Her desire now is to write stories of her life to inspire others.

The following story was retold to Polly Williams by Karen King. Larry and Karen King were neighbors of Jack.

“Oh, John was a crotcherty old man. He somehow came to live in an old shack behind us, down the mile lane, without water and electricity! You know he was honorably discharged from the military.

Every week on Wednesday he’d walk down to our place with his grocery list. (His driver’s license was taken away from him). He would have beans, carrots, onions, and Red Chew, chicken wings on the list, so that’s what we bought.

He knew I liked beans so he’d grow the green beans and bring them over in a basket for me to can. Then I’d take jars of canned beans back to him. Oh, he sure got mad a Larry once and cussed a blue streak And his place, oh brother, was it a junk yard. The visiting nurse came once, just once after he needed assistance and she vowed never to return.

When he fell and broke his are, he needed a place to go. We tried the county home. He apparently had retired from John Deere and had invested with Edward Jones. Anyway, the county home wanted him to sign over all his money to them for his care. When I stopped by and found out about this, I took the papers that John was to sign to Larry. We contacted a lawyer and Larry was made guardian. Once that happened, the county home decided John didn’t meet their guidelines and was not allowed to live there.

John then fell and broke his hip. He was taken to the hospital but wouldn’t allow anyone to look at him. Larry finally got him to look at the Lutheran Home and he said he’d try that. He lived there for 14 years.

The day of his memorial when the service was about to start, a CNA came over and asked me if she could fix John’s hair. The way it was fixed, just wasn’t John. With tears in my eye, I said, “Now how

66

many people would care enough to do this?”

He left his money to 15 animal agencies and to his niece in California. When we brought John’s ashes out to her, she made sure we were royally treated and taken care of.

John’s best friend was his dog, Bets. Bets slept in John’s car with the door open which wore the battery down. After John died, we inherited Bets.

While cleaning out his humble home, we found John’s dog tags and papers telling of his service. His biggest price was ‘being freeeee.’

He would say that in a high pitched voice.

In hindsight, we wondered just how many old crotchety old timers there were around our community. We wondered about their stories.

The writer’s biggest concern is how many Godly people are left around to look after these people, men or women, not asking anything for themselves, but to care for and give dignity to the forgotten and left behind folks.

In leaving Karen’s home that morning, I gave her a big hug and told her ‘I love you.’ Thank you for being there for John. What a blessing you have been and are!

And so, to all the John’s out there. Thank you for serving America.

Thank you to all the Karen and Larry’s that have a big heart and caring for those who otherwise would have no one.

Freedom we have learned isn’t free. It is a lot of sacrifice, blood, sweat and tears. Now and all through the years. God bless you all.

The trouble with quotes on the internet is that it’s difficult to determine whether or not they are genuine. ~Abraham Lincoln~