Fire Ants and a Leaf Blower

Rusty Walton is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, but has been a proud Texan for more than forty years. He and his wife, Brenda, currently make their home in Conroe, Texas, after serving as Senior Pastor of First Baptist Church of Conroe for nearly fifteen years. In retirement, Rusty has served seven Texas churches as an Intentional Interim pastor, assisting those churches to prepare for a successful newly “installed” minister. Additionally, Rusty and Brenda enjoy their two children, son and daughter-in-law, and five grandchildren, one of whom is a proud Texas Aggie. (Whoop!)

I was using my leaf blower last week when I noticed a colony of fire ants had built a nest on top of the flagstone patio I recently added to my back porch. I’ve had an unpleasant relationship with fire ants for a number of years, and the leaf blower was roaring in my hands. “I’ll get rid of these fire ants and have some fun, too,” I thought. This type of leaf blower produces 150 mph winds, so when I pointed the business end toward the fresh mound of dirt I chuckled, “Here comes a little hurricane, boys and girls.”

Have you ever done anything really dumb? When I was a youngster I used to poke fire ant nests with a stick, get them all angry and stirred up, then run off to enjoy the rest of my day, sort of like some people do at a church business meeting. Well, when I pointed my leaf blower at the nest, the ants finally got their revenge.

I still don’t know what I was thinking when I tried to blow those fire ants off my porch, but I do know it was something I soon regretted. As the nozzle of the leaf blower got close to the mound the entire nest blew up in my face. Fire ants were in my hair, under my shirt, and on my legs and “elsewhere.” I began an awkward jumping, hopping, contorted, gyrating dance, pulling off my blue jean shorts and golf shirt while slapping at the biting, stinging insects. In the shower I washed dirt and ants down the drain with gusto. I didn’t stop flailing until I got out of the shower and took two allergy pills. I still do not know exactly what happened, but it started with a leaf blower on one end and bad judgement on the other.

Have you noticed that some things appear to be a good idea, but aren’t? I’m not a theologian, but I think the Bible says there is a way that seems right but actually leads to a bad end. I can give testimony to that, and so can at least one of my neighbors who watched the whole thing happen.

My father, like yours, used to say, “Measure twice and cut once.” The same principle holds true for all of life’s choices. Fire ants are bad, and a careless decision makes them even worse.

Sometimes we don’t understand consequences until we are curled up on the couch in the fetal position with a handful of Benadryl capsules, crying, “What was I thinking?”

Thanks for reading.

Pastor Charles “Rusty” Walton

Hope you have a great day, and remember that the living is good where the people are good. And the people are good in Burleson County.

An elderly couple were celebrating their 60th anniversary. They had married as childhood sweethearts and moved back to their old neighbourhood after they retired.

Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered and found the old desk they’d shared, where Jerry had carved the words ‘I love you, Sally’.

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armoured car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money and found that it was $50,000!

Jerry said: “We’ve got to give it back.” But Sally put the money back in the bag, hid it in their attic and said: “Finders keepers.”

The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighbourhood looking for the money and knocked on their door. The officer said: “Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armoured car yesterday?”

Sally shook her head. Jerry said: “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.”

Sally said: “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”

The agents turned to Jerry and began to question him. One said: “Tell us the story from the beginning.”

Jerry said: “Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday.”

The first police officer turned to his partner and said: “We’re outta here!”