“I was in soccer shorts and a T-shirt until puberty hit,” says Althen. “That was when I started to notice the difference between girls and boys and started dealing with attraction stuff that everyone’s kind of learning at that time. I was really close with my soccer girlfriends, but I didn’t really have crushes on guys so much. That was how I came out first as queer. I’ve always gravitated toward ‘boy stuff,’ but so many of my girlfriends also did these things that it didn’t really stick out. It wasn’t until later, as I continued to dress androgynously, that I started to have run-ins with the gender police.” A lot of people think of transphobia as the bare fact of stepping up and saying, “I am a trans man or woman,” only to have people push back saying, “That’s not real” or “That’s immoral and wrong,” but it’s not just that. Like racism, sexism, and homophobia, there’s an entire set of basic assumptions and unquestioned privilege that form the structural basis for a bigotry that even the most well-intentioned of us step in every day. As a number of recent mass media SNAFUs have demonstrated, simple wellintentioned ignorance can lead to a host of uncomfortable situations. Likewise, the trans experience can be as straightforward as a six-year-old insisting on identifying as the opposite of their birth identification, or it can be a gradual, fluid discovery. There’s a whole range of experiences that fall under the trans umbrella. “I think the first big step for me was coming out as gay. I started to feel more comfortable with myself and started taking steps in that direction. My first girlfriend encouraged me to stop shaving my legs. She fully supported my decision either way, but that was the first time someone gave me a pass there and started me thinking about gender and attraction and the possibility that whatever I chose to express, there might be somebody there who not only accepted it, but would embrace it, so I might as well find my most genuine expression.” That coming out didn’t happen until Althen was a junior in college, a year before his move to Austin, so most of the journey took place right here at UT. “The university culture is relatively conservative, but really, the internet, especially YouTube videos, helped a lot in exploring the possibilities. I learned about trans and genderqueer
30
cultures, and realized top surgery was really appealing, but so many questions came up about how this would change my life and whether it was worth doing. What helped me come out eventually was the queer culture here, where people really want you to be your most authentic self. If you’re trying to pass or hide something about yourself in Austin right now, you’re boring, so there’s a little bit of pressure to really explore who you are at the core.” Austin seems to be right in the sweet spot in terms of self-expression. While small towns often tend to be conservative and intolerant, the big cities, the traditional LGBT hubs, like the East Village, West Hollywood, and the Castro, even the Montrose and Oak Lawn here in Texas, have their own pressures. “In the bigger queer cities, if you don’t fall into it, you kind of fall out of it. It can be kind of stand-off-ish. It can be a little more difficult for some, but people here seem really open to meeting new people and new kinds of people. People are really trying to find and be and succeed as themselves.” Many trans people, however, don’t necessarily identify as queer, or at least don’t participate so much in the “queer community.” Many forge their identity outside of the L,G,B, and Q community, but their lived experience gives them capacity to relate to being queer. “Just living teaches us to evaluate ourselves, our relationships, and our experiences; so we tend to be clued in, whatever the company,” Althen says. “Anytime we can create a space where trans folks can come together, we’re just so happy to be safe together with our shared knowledge, we can just enjoy the camaraderie. “It’s important that people see their peers and mentors, and that they don’t just disappear. I met my friend Luke here who was already on T [testosterone hormone therapy] and had already had top surgery and a hysterectomy. He asked me, ‘So, when are you going to do it?’ Seeing his process and how happy he was, showed me how this could go. It gave me the impetus for setting up trans socials to build community. As far as we’ve come, we still struggle with doctor visits and things like that. Some doctors still feel like they’re doing a favor just by treating us. I don’t have solutions myself, but creating spaces where we feel comfortable coming