Tuesday, April 1, 2014 Volume 1, Issue 49
Status of the week Life changes a lot between facebook profile pictures
A weekly production of
DhakaTribune Editor Zafar Sobhan Magazine Editor Sabrina Fatma Ahmad TMAG Team Sabiha Mahmud Sumi Rubab Nayeem Khan Munira Fidai Natasha Rahman Saudia Afrin Tahsin Momin Baizid Haque Joarder Fuad M Hossain Rad Sharar Contributors Zaki Adnan Afshan Sattar Syed Azraf Zaman Khatidja Hussein Nasif Chowdhury Graphics Tahsin Momin Mohammed Mahbub Alam Colour Specialist Shekhar Mondal Kazi Syras Al Mahmood Production Masum Billah Advertising Shahidan Khurshed
Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the reason I have trust issues
Lingo of the week Fat Finger Meaning - To make a mistake while typing Usage “Oops, I spelt the word wrong. I think I fat fingered it.”
YOUR WORLD 5 Car BMW X6M 5 FFPB 9 Fiction Screaming secrets 9 Non-fiction The treasure hunt 9 Comic bookKate or die 9 Book Harold Fry 11 Comic strip The Boy FASHION 4 Beauty check Fool them into believing 4 Wardrobe check Everything is permissible
Circulation Wahid Murad Email: email@example.com, Website: www.dhakatribune.com
2 Funk up your room Meme dream
Dear Readers, HAPPY APRIL FOOL’S DAY!
Quote of the week
PICKS OF THE WEEK 2 Room of the week Xarif R 11 App of the week Drippler 10 Guitar tabs of the week “Lost in You” by Three Days Grace
Real Life 3 Event Tweets 6 Hot topic A thought experiment 12 Blush Much 12 Darwin Awards 12 Quiz TMAG SAYS 2 Funk up your room Meme dream 2 FYI It’s all fun and games until it’s not 3 School Survival SATS- Revamped 10 Playlist Top ten topsy turvey tunes 10 Music Lorde 11 Anime Guilty Crown 11 Movie Grand Budapest Hotel HOROSCOPES 5 Your forecast
About the cover So, did that fool you?
We’re hoping that the “coverless” cover will allow you a moment to pause and reflect on the love and care we put into our covers, and indeed, our issues, each week for your enjoyment. With the decline of the reading habit, not just at home, but worldwide so many people these days don’t subscribe to newspapers anymore, and their magazine supplements are constantly having to fight to survive. This is particularly sad for young people in Bangladesh who don’t have many platforms to begin with. We’d like to think that we have a good thing going, though. If you think we’re providing decent representation for teens, spread the word. Like us on Facebook. Share our links. Tell your friends to subscribe to us. Keep the conversation going! Send us your doodles, flash fiction, selfies and room pics to tmag. firstname.lastname@example.org This week, we’ve got a mix of the serious and the silly. There’s some useful information on the SAT exams you might want to check out in page 3, an exclusive interview with a stereotype-busting performer on page 8, and a crazy thought experiment on Hot Topic. Let us know how we did. Love from the TMAG desk
4 Look of the week Head turner alert
10 Spotlight Stacey Kent
8 Written in the stars Mehraj Haque Tushar
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Your Life Funk up your room
TMAG’s Room of the week!
Xarif r Area
Gulshan Dim red lights focusing on your favourite instrument and the posters of your musical inspirations overlooking it, this is a marvellous use of space in the room of an aspiring young musician.
If you’re a humour junkie, then we’re pretty sure you’ve been into the meme culture for quite some time now. However, with internet being a social platform, you may end up unintentionally offending people with your jokes and memes. There is, however, one place that can speak boldly of your wit; that’s right; we’re talking about your room. Here are couple of things you could do to let your room speak your mind
Paint any one side of your wall, using a pop colour. It could be blue, purple or even red. A loud colour choice speaks highly of your personality.
A little wit here and a little humour there
Bright coloured walls will serve as a background for whatever you deck it up with. Where memes are concerned, take prints of your favourite memes or web comics and stick ‘em up on your wall. You can also do a full on wall collage by taking the meme theme into account. Cut out pictures from
old magazines, and create a distorted, yet humorous wall collage. It would be even better if this can stretch from one end of the wall to another, and you can actually have your very own meme themed corner. The artsy kind could consider painting a comical wall mural which speaks of their personalities. If you’re into free writing, you could fill up the coloured wall with quirky anecdotes which you can’t share on the net. Whatever it is that you do with your room, it should be able to light up those who share a likeness for humour, just like you. Rubab Nayeem Khan
It’s all fun and games until it’s not Rag day. Normally, it is a bright, colourful, and fun event where the freshers feel welcomed by their seniors as they bond with each other on being in the same institution. Like every other thing, this too has a flip side, a side that is dark and ruthless
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Hazing has been an integral activity since the concept of rag day saw the light of day. It is a process designed to make newcomers feel “part of the group” and in a few situations, may well be humiliating and gruesome. The tasks may include very simple things like dancing to a song, which is harmless fun, but there have been incidents where things went awry as the tasks ended with tragic consequences. One such recent incident in the US left a student, Chun “Michael” Deng, a 19 year old, brain dead. In a different case, there have been reports about another student losing one of his testicles when he was hit by a knot in the groin, repeatedly. Such incidents are not unheard of in the Indian sub-continent as well. In India alone, there have been similar incidents on various occasions. Suicides and depression are only but a few of the many unwanted consequences hazing
may bring about. Hence, in many countries, such practices are illegal, and if reported to authorities, there is punishment. Due to such extremities, the true essence and purpose of a rag day is being lost. Rag days are supposed to be fun and light mediums to make juniors feel welcome, not demoralise them. Events as such should be held under strict supervision, and if anything comes close to being dangerous it should immediately be stopped and the authorities should be notified. Hazing is not only a part of rag day but it can happen in any group, be it your school friends, tuition groups and so on. Pranks are only fun up to a point where they aren’t hazardous and the person on the receiving end is still okay with it. Anything beyond that point is just wrong. So on this April Fool’s day, we at TMAG advise you to be sensible when playing pranks on people. Baizid Haque Joarder
School Survival bigstock
SATS- Revamped! Long vocabulary lists and pages after pages of essays are a thing of the past. The new and improved SATS are here to provide a soothing balm to these old fears. With the elimination of the point deductions on incorrect answers, arbitrary reading passages, complex math topics, compulsory essays and a vague SAT vocabulary, you will simply have less material to study. Let’s take a look at these changes in depth
Because College Board believes that the SATS need to be more in line with high school academics and more reflective of what the students will actually have to face in high school, candidates will not be negatively marked. Make sure you take ample advantage of this change by answering each and every question, even if you are not sure. Tip: You can do this by eliminating least possible answers and guessing the best out of what’s left.
No SAT vocabulary
SAT words that were previously obscure words out of the dictionary that you were expected to know have now been replaced by words that will help you in your college and career. Tip: Talk to your seniors and find out what sort of words are frequented in colleges and classes. Brush up on arts and science jargon. Make a judgement call about how difficult these words should be.
The reading passage that was previously so subjective is now going to come from very predictable and well talked about sources. They’re talking Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” or something equally familiar. This is good news as these texts are already well analysed and will prove to be a point earner to many. Tip: Be well versed in important texts and up to date on current affairs.
Opt or crop out
Essays are not compulsory anymore. The new essays will not only have double the time limit (50 minutes as opposed to the previous 25) but will also be in the form of an analysis where arguments will not only be based on students’ backgrounds but on their presence of mind, analytical skills and argumentative acumen. Tip: Read up on some online debates for pointers. Munira Fidai
Uniting youth to bridge gaps “Building Bridges through Leadership Training,” a signature program of the Bangladesh Youth Leadership Centre (BYLC)’s launching ceremony was held at the American Centre in Dhaka on March 24. 42 students were selected from English and Bangla medium schools and Madrasas for this international award-winning program. These students will spend a month and half at BYLC’s training centre learning
about leadership as participants. They will also spend the whole month in a local community and implement their classroom learning by designing and implementing small, scalable and sustainable service projects. Bangladesh Bank will provide full scholarship to all the students to participate in the program. The impact study report will be published in June in the following year at the Youth Leadership Summit.
Ruchi School Champion Trophy
Light it Up Blue campaign on World Autism Awareness Day
March 30-April 15
Venue Military Museum Field
To participate visit the website at www.lightitupblue.org
Technical Teaching NSU Wireless Forum has organised a technological event called the TECHFIESTA 2014, on March 25 at North South University. The event was inaugurated by Chief GuestsSunil Kanti Bose, Chairman of BTRC, Nasiruddin from Nitol Insurances along with the Vice Chancellor, Pro Vice Chancellor and the faculty advisor of NSU Wireless Forum, Miftahur Rahman. It was an attractive two day festival which started with seminars
on Smartphone technology and the recent developing wireless sections in Bangladesh followed by an inter university gaming contest and Mozilla workshops. There were stalls presenting the latest gadgets and information about the present job sectors in the telecommunication field. Moreover, an inter-university Telempiad and multiple seminars were also organised to help the students become familiar with the upcoming technologies and their applications.
First ever Bangladeshi video game launched “Hatirjheel: Dream Begins” is the first commercially developed Bangladeshi video game which was launched on March 24 at Bangladesh Computer Council. The programme was organised by Massive Star Studio and Information and Communication Technology Division. State Minister of ICT Division, Zunaid Ahmed Palak was present as the chief guest and inaugurated the game. He said, “Children should not be kept within the enjoyment of a game only, we should make a ground to encourage them towards making games as well.” “Hatirjheel: Dream Begins” is a
culmination of dream, hope, and hard work of a bunch of youngsters of Massive Star Studio, a video games research and development company. Besides aiming to create a game, they also aim to convey an insight into the meaning of life to the gamers. Massive Star Studio developed the game with the ICT Division as its associate partner. Shameem Ahsan, President of BASIS, Mahaboob Zaman, Former President of BASIS, Mozammel Babu, Chief Editor and Managing Director of Ekattor TV, and SM Mahabub Alam, CEO of the Massive Star Studio were present at the occasion among others.
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FASHION FACE-OFF Wardrobe Check
Look of the week
When everything is permissible
Head turner alert
April Fools’ Day is perceived as one of the most light-hearted days of the year. On this day, you are allowed to play all kinds of pranks and jokes with your folks. Making jokes, however is the toughest job ever and when it comes to pulling them off,it seems even more difficult. Here are some ideas from TMAG to easily bring out the funny and pranks, through your attire
Asymmetric patterns of bright crimson and passive blue make for an appealing combo. The collar gives the design that kicking edge and the peep toe heels are instant attention grabbers. Unconventional yet cultured, this outfit is bound to create a buzz.
We always want to dress perfectly. However, this day demands loads of quirkiness. Ready yourself to pull off something you have never tried before. If you love to wear ties, then this trick will absolutely define you. Choose any coloured shirt from your wardrobe and get a rope. Instead of opting for a regular tie on your neckline, tie up the collar of your shirt with this rope. You can use the same idea with your belt. A pure white T-shirt and black pants-you may wonder, what’s so unusual about this? Just over the shoulder or anywhere else that’s equally visible, place a plastic lizard. This for sure, will gauge an instantaneous reaction from your friends.
Photographer Homayra Adiba
Designer Tanzim Tamanna Shuchi Wardrobe Bloom Model Meherin Mushrekat
Select a piece of garment you are ready to part with, it could be anything. Make a visible hole in it or split the sleeves. This will catch people’s attention immediately. People will wonder what happened to you and you can fool them, just like that! If none of these work for you, wear whatever you want but in a reverse way. The trick is, either you bring the back portion to the front or wear it inside out. These are just some of the many options you have. You can augment them by adding your own ideas. Lastly, beyond doubt, you will not look stunning with this look. But it will certainly provide you with some happy moments with your dear ones which will be memorable throughout your life. Saudia Afrin
Fool Them into Believing Natural beauty is in. Unfortunately, not a lot of people have skin that looks fabulous without some aesthetic help. For those who are suffering with teenage skin but would like to fool others into believing they are flawless, here are some cool tips you can follow
Wash your face well with a suitable facial wash. For acne prone skin, it would be an antibacterial facial wash. For oily skin, it would be one that has more of a drying effect and for dry skin; it would be a moisturising one. Dry well and remember to pat dry, not wipe dry. Wiping harshly will have a darkening effect on the skin that’s unbecoming to many.
Use a sun block (this could be a tinted moisturiser with sun protection). Next, lightly dab baby powder on to your face and spread evenly. Finally, evenly pat compact powder on your skin and neck to make it toned.
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Use an off white shade of eye shadow and highlight the area right below your
brow. Blend well so that your eyes look naturally shiny. The contours of your eyes are places where the skin may be dark (underneath and above) and if you don’t want kajal to draw away attention from that, read on to step 4.
Take a very small amount of off-white or white eye shadow (use a tiny applicator or your finger, depending on your comfort) for the lower corners of your eyes, where kajal is usually applied. A light mascara will finish the look.
Use a whisper light shade of peach or rose pink for your lips. Tinted lip balms would work well. Don’t go for gloss, glistening look defies the whole point of a no make-up look. No need to line your lips. You are good to go. Munira Fidai
Street FFPB Fantasy Football Players of Bangladesh (FFPB)
Fantasy League Top 10 after Gameweek 31 Rank Team 1 Da_Dreamers 2 Dream United FC 3 Underdog FC 4 mclovin.. 5 Tomahawk Galacticos 6 ABRAR FC 7 Firehouse 8 Khilgao BrotherHood 9 Hectorious Tristan 10 Sesc17
Manager Fazle Rabbi Fahim Al Ifran Rahim Shazzadur Rahman Asif Khan Rax Rahman Abrar Moeen Quamrul Hassan_FFPB Aideed Ahmed Sharifur Rahman Shadman Haque
GW 164 161 151 153 169 161 144 163 164 147
TOT 2,105 2,059 2,033 2,033 2,018 2,006 1,998 1,993 1,991 1,985
The code to join FFPB fantasy league is 975-707
A strange German mutant In Frankenstine, a tortured scientist brings a spark of life to an odd collection of human and animal parts. The result was a larger, more powerful version of the human being, although, by most accounts, very ugly. Many car companies work the same way. A chassis here and an engine there, and they create
HOROSCOPE Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19)
Distractions will be coming from left, right and centre this week. Try not to take them into account. Taurus (Apr 20-May 20)
Your judgements will be clouded because of short term happiness. Expect a long term blow from this. Gemini (May 21-Jun20)
Nagging about chores won’t get the work done this week. Being a lazy bum won’t serve you well. Cancer (Jun 21-Jul 22)
Planning something big? Take your time to narrow down the pros and cons this week. Leo (Jul 23-Aug 22)
something bigger and more powerful. But is it better?
Matters related to money could stir up a sandstorm in your head. You might want to sort this out with a stable mindset. Virgo (Aug 23- Sep 22)
Don’t be surprised if you don’t feel like being a social butterfly midweek. This change will do you some good. Libra (Sep 23- Oct 22)
Expect to feel a tad bit restless this week. You need a good long rest to turn your hohums around. Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21)
Any alibi you use to worm out of a situation this week needs to be solid. Curb your paranoia. Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21) You’re
This is the BMW X6M. “M” stands for motor sports and they are responsible for creating the M3, M5, and the M6. They don’t have much imagination with naming cars but they surely know how to make them fast. Like Doctor Frankenstein, the M-division scientists went into the lab, sliced the top half off of an X5, startled a potent twin-turbo V8, and grafted on a swoopy green house from the 5-series GT. Add some angry spark glugs, and you have the X6M. Honestly, driving this car feels like you’re driving a sports car, except that you are on roller skates. There is something wrong about being so high over the ground and yet have so much power. The X6M costs around $90,000, which is $22,000 more than the
regular X6. Load it up with all the options and the cost goes up to $105,000. The car is deceptively huge on the outside but on the inside, it is tiny. The X6 has almost an identical layout to the X5 - BMW’s luxury SUV with all the pesky practicalities and back seat room. The regular X6 was already ridiculously fast. It surprised the world with a 4.4-litre twin-turbo V8 making 400hp. But that didn’t stop somebody from the M-division at BMW from saying: “You know what, I bet we can make this weird little thing go even faster.” So, they replaced the old turbos, bolted on two dump-truck sized massive turbos, and replaced the fuel injectors with fire hoses. Mix all that fuel up with air and you have 555hp waiting beneath your right foot. That means it can do 0-62 in less than four seconds, which is faster than a Porsche
911 GT3; for a car that weighs almost a tonne more, it almost defies physics. But the real magic with this machine isn’t its straight line speed; it’s that it handles really, really well. It puts out more drift marks on the gravel then an M5 or an M6. And good things happen when you press the M button on the steering wheel, which might as well stand for magic. The suspension gets a little stiffer, the steering gets more responsive and the dynamic stability control lets you slide a bit more. Basically, it lets you drive like a maniac. Like Frankenstein, the X6M is a beast - a bigger, more powerful version of its predecessors. But the Frankenstein monster was tortured because it didn’t know who or what it was. The X6M struggles a similar identity crisis. Tahsin Momin
sort of in a rut for days, but it’s beginning to seem like ages. Don’t just mope about it. Capricorn (Dec 22-
Shut someone out previously, based on ambiguity? Give them the benefit of doubt this week. Jan19)
Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) The nature of the week depends entirely on your behaviour. If you want it to shine, work for it.
Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20)
You’ve tried everything to get out of that romantic rut. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling vulnerable.
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TMAG presents: The Nap Every once in a while, the TMAG team gives their writing muscles a workout with a pass-around exercise. For the first time ever, we’re printing the result of one of our thought exercises. We hope you enjoy it By Sabrina Fatma Ahmad, Rubab Nayeem Khan, Tahsin Momin, Natasha Rahman, Baizid Haque Joarder and Saudia Afrin
It was one of those lazy Friday afternoons, and Sharek was sitting in his room, strumming his guitar, idly daydreaming about the day his (imaginary) band would perform to a sellout crowd, somewhere abroad, preferably some place with beautiful groupies. Inspiration struck, as suddenly and unpredictably as lightning during a dry storm, and he ran around his room looking for a pen and paper to write down the song percolating inside his head. Not finding either, he settled for scribbling down the lyrics on the back
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of a napkin with the eye-liner pencil he kept in the bathroom for those days when he felt like dressing up like a goth. By the time the song was written, he was already running late for the student he had to teach. Tucking the napkin between his study books, he got ready and left. The bua came in to clean the room and found the napkin. Being a shrewd and literate sort (Class five pass, she’d tell anyone who listened) and seeing some writing on it, decided to scan it to see if it was a) something she’d get
into trouble if she tossed away or b) something incriminating that she could use to blackmail her “bhaiya”. When she finished reading, she went straight to Sharek’s mother and announced that she was quitting. Naturally, Sharek’s mother was concerned; a good bua is hard to find, after all. When she demanded to know the reason, Bua produced the napkin and exclaimed that she’d rather be out of work than work in a house where such things were written. Sheila couldn’t believe that Sharek could write such things. It wasn’t bad
enough that she had to put up with that awful noise he called music all day every day? Now she would have to pick up the slack at home, and good buas were so hard to find. She clutched the wretched napkin scribbling in one hand and reluctantly lifted a dust cloth with the other. “There’s a limit!” she muttered, every time she looked at the writings on the crumpled napkin. Even the chores weren’t enough to divert her mind from the fact that her own son was capable of such things. As the skies went from pale to pitch black, Sheila completed all the
pkin household chores then curled up on the living room floor to get some shuteye. The front door opened and her husband entered. The sight of her lying on the floor stopped him cold. Before he could even begin to ask, she wearily lifted herself from the floor and limping towards him, handed him the napkin, roaring “This was written by your son!” After a hard day at the office, and the long battle against the rush hour traffic, the last thing Sazzad had thought to encounter was a domestic disaster. Now his wife would be nagging about the help for weeks. Cursing his useless son, he began to read the napkin. The words in the scribble struck a strange chord. It suddenly made him long for something; but he couldn’t say what. A different kind of life maybe? Sheila’s screaming brought him back to
the present. Without another word, he turned towards the door and left, leaving his wife gaping in surprise. Walking aimlessly, he came to a corner of the street, when he suddenly heard a commotion on the opposite side of the road. On any other day, he would have walked by without comment. This time, he went to investigate. A group of people had gathered around a man, obscured from view, but still audible. “Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest.” Sazzad shouldered his way past the onlookers and walked up to the speaker, a wizened old man, and handed him the napkin and asked, “Can you make sense of this?” The man scanned it for a full minute before slapping him hard across the face.
The sound of the slap reverberated in his ears. The old man threw the napkin on Sazzad’s face and walked away, clearly disgusted. Sazzad picked up the napkin from the ground. Maybe it was time to go to the lawyer. The lawyer was as surprised to get an unannounced visit from one of his least interesting client, as he was to see the Sazzad in such a dishevelled state. Wordlessly, Sharek’s father handed over the napkin. The lawyer’s face turned red and he told Sazzad to leave his premises that very instant. Dejected and worn, Sazzad kept asking himself what he could have done to stop his son from writing such things. It started to rain. To hell with this. Sazzad turned on his heel and started running towards home. As he was approaching the main entrance of
his apartment, he saw Sharek entering through the bright red gate. Sharek didn’t have a clue what was about to happen and got the shock of his life when his father dripping wet, smacked him in the face with the soggy napkin. He felt a tingling sensation in his spine at the realisation that his parents had read his masterpiece. With trembling fingers, he opened the napkin. The scribbling was now basically unreadable as the napkin was in fact a mush due to the rain. Morale of the story: Even if you are in a hurry, use a water-proof eyeliner. You can find them in any of the departmental stores around the city.
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written in the Stars
What inspired you to become a dancer? I used to learn classical and folk routines. Back in the day I never liked dancing; in fact I used to find it quite boring. After participating and winning Notun Kuri in 2002, I became serious about dancing. How long have you been involved with dance? Since I was five years old, and it’s been almost 20 years that I have been dancing. Were your parents supportive about your interests in dance? Yes, my parents were supportive, especially my mother. She is the one who has encouraged me to pursue dance. Tell us about your experience at Channel I Shera Nachiye 2012? It was a very big platform for me. I wanted to prove to the world that guys too can pursue performing arts without anyone having to question them about their masculinity. And I was able to do so by winning the competition and Channel I also gave me the chance to showcase my talent by acting in numerous TV dramas. According to you, which dance routine is the most difficult to master? I have learnt Bharatnattyam, Kathak, Gorio and Chau as a part of classical, folk and western routines includes all contemporary, hip-hop, salsa and street dance. I had a hard time learning classical and contemporary.
A message for those who are passionate about building a career in performing arts? Find out what you’re really passionate about and if you want it bad, you should fight for it. Learn to take yourself seriously, so that you make an impression in front of your audience.
Not a lot has been said about men pursuing dance as a profession. Often, in doing so their masculinity has been questioned. However, this week, we speak to someone who begs to differ. A keen learner and the newest addition to mainstream talent, Mehraj Haque Tushar breaks the stereotypes about performing arts by winning the title of Channel I Shera Nachiye in 2012. Rubab Nayeem Khan has a hearty conversation with him about his journey to success
What was your most memorable performance outside Channel I Shera Nachiye 2012? My performance in Norway was the most memorable one, particularly because Nobel Laureate Dr Muhammad Yunus was receiving the Nobel Peace Prize.
Mehraj Haque Tushar says: “I love my family; they are the primary reason behind my success. They’ve supported my dreams throughout and I’m really thankful for this life. ”
Affiliations with media after winning Channel I Shera Nachiye 2012: “Tomar’e Achi” by Wahid Anam in 2012 which was aired as Eid ul Azha Special. TV Serial “Adulthood” by Akram Khan in 2013, “Faul Game” by Abul Hayat in 2013 was also aired as Eid-ul-Azha Special, “Cheetkar” by Iftekhar Ahmed Fahmi in 2014 aired for Valentine’s Day, with Mehzabein Chowdhury as co-star.
Your idol/inspiration in the field of performing arts? Akram Khan, renowned contemporary and kathak dancer from the UK. What was the most embarrassing thing that happened to you while you were dancing?
Aside from performing arts, what else do you plan on doing in the coming years?
I used to be very shy before. The first time I performed on stage, I was the only guy among 10 girls and I couldn’t even execute a step properly.
I want to further pursue my career in dance, and I also want to be an actor as well as a choreographer. n
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YOU WRITE IT
Paint me a little rant You know that twist of fate, where a university drop out turns out to be successful regardless of their academic background? One can say the same thing for Kate Leth, creator of the webcomic “Kate or Die.” Like most webcomics, this too has no plot; it’s just a gathering of random events that either happened to Kate or are about to happen. Without a
doubt, her weird sense of humour is an instant hit. Her episode “Leap of Faith” did a good job in showcasing her wit. Most of her work is based on a series of life events, and when she incorporates humour to, let’s say, eye-brow raising experiences (with reference to “my parents got divorced, I drink a lot, my relationship was a lie”) it goes to show that when the going gets
tough, you can ease up by laughing it off. Overall, the comic is built out of the good, bad, horrible and unexpected experiences that Kate Leth really can’t shrug off; and this art school dropout certainly did a great job in creating Kate or Die. The comics are available for reading at www.kateordiecomics. com. Rubab Nayeem Khan
Beyond space and time
Clare, a paper mache art student and Henry, a free minded librarian are caught up in a romance that beats time, space and both of them together, all at once. Was the sentence confusing enough? Well, that’s how the story is. Imagine meeting a man at the age of six, when he is bordering around the age of 40, who tells you that you will eventually get married when he is younger and you are… older. While it beats sanity, this story is as real to Clare and Henry, our two main characters, as night follows day. Henry is a time traveller, impaired with Chrono-Displacement Disorder, and when his genetic clock decides to reset itself, he finds himself misplaced in time
and lands in arbitrary situations of his past or future life. It leaves the lovestruck couple battling urgencies when it comes making up for lost time. He meets Clare at different stages of her life, guiding her when in his past or being guided by her in his present. Written by Audrey Niffenegger, this unbelievable tale will keep you second guessing events, pause, and rewind and reread pages to make sense of them better, and occasionally question your sanity. Available at Goodreads, and in popular bookstores like Boi Bichitra, this book is a must read, at least once, if not twice, for clarity’s sake! munira fidai
“I cannot tell you what you want to know! You have the wrong person here. I swear to God, I have no idea how my finger prints ended up on that gun!” The eyes that were distressed only a moment ago took on a glazed, almost maniacal glint. “I made sure I covered my hand over hers when I fired. Law & Order never showed you cops look for powder residue on the back of the killer’s hand too! How was I to know?” She went on from being hysterical to a deathly calm. “I covered my footprints too! I’m actually smart when it comes to
these things; you know who the dumb one was? She was. She, with her perfect body and red, red lips and her fame. It was I who was cut out for all that. She took it away from me. So, she had to go, you see?” “I’m better, you’ll see. Better on screen, and better on stage. And you cops, you should really get off my case now. Close the case, move on. And no more questions, please. My answer to every new question you ask would simply be, “I CANNOT TELL YOU.” munira fidai
The Treasure Hunt The next chit directed us towards the swing in the park. I told Janet that this would get us nowhere as we’d already been searching for the hidden item for an entire hour, but she forced me to continue. We dug the ground right under the swing, and took out yet another piece of paper. The fluorescent yellow paper indicated us towards the store room this time. I had to run to keep up with Janet. We entered the dark store room only to find another chit that told us to go back to the bedroom from where we had started. I was about to sit down on the chair outside the store room, but Janet made sure that I didn’t give up, and dragged me up the staircase towards the room. I argued with her that all this was useless and that Shane, Reed, and Percy were joking. She refused to believe me; but then again I couldn’t blame her because after all, they had hidden her favourite pair of earrings. Anyways, I agreed to follow her inside the room, but I promised that this would be my last stop, and after this I would call Shane up and tell him that I surrender! As Janet opened the doors to the room, I was baffled - Shane, Reed and Percy were standing there, right in front of us. Above them was a banner that read, “APRIL FOOLS!” Janet was laughing along with them too; I couldn’t believe that I fell for this prank of theirs. Khatidja Hussein
TM AG TU E SDAY, Apr i l 1 , 20 1 4
10 tmag The goodsheet Lost in you Three Days Grace Tuning: Standard (EADGBe) D
I always knew you’d come back to get me You always knew it wouldn’t be easy To go back to the start to see where it all began Or end up at the bottom to watch how it all ends You tried to lie and say I was everything I remember when I said I’m nothing without you
I’m nothing without you
Somehow I found
a way to get lost in you
Let me inside
let me get close to you
Change your mind,
I’d get lost if you want me to
Somehow I found,
Tunes and tones music news
A taste of art pop While you’re still grooving to Lorde’s song “Royals” from last year, you should know that some of the other songs from the “Pure Heroine” album outdid themselves. For a singer hailing from Takapuna, Auckland in New Zealand, the 17 year old art pop sensation’s debut studio album was well received among music critics. Her singing quality was compared to that of Adele and Lana Del Ray. Her voice isn’t hauntingly beautiful like theirs; but what she lacks in voice, she makes up with her lyrics, the catchy choruses, and music. The beats are the kind you’d certainly be tripping to, no matter how child like her voice is. After you’ve gotten tired of listening to “Royals,” you should give a good listen to “Team,” “Buzzcut Season,” and “A World Alone” to get your spirits up and running; plus you’ll certainly get to understand Lorde’s signature in terms of tunes, tones, and lyrics. “Tennis Court,” and “Glory and Gore,” are among other songs in the album that you should certainly listen to.
Tune in to the songs from “Pure Heroin” by Lorde on Soundcloud and Youtube
to get a taste of art pop.
Dreamsville, being two of our personal favourites) and three collaborative albums with her husband, the revered saxophonist Jim Tomlinson. The Grammy-nominated vocal jazz sensation, Stacey Kent has earned both critical and popular success, with numerous accolades, such as 2001 British Jazz Award, 2002 BBC
Jazz Award for “Best Vocalist,”2004 Backstage Bistro Award for Best Live Performance, and 2006 Album of the Year (for the album, “The Lyric” with Jim Tomlinson), among many others. Without further ado, gift your ears, bless your heart, and rejuvenate your soul with the incomparable voice of Stacey Kent. Zaki Adnan
Rubab Nayeem Khan
a way to get lost in you
1. I started a joke Bee Gees 2. Hok Kolorob Arnob
The Nightingale of Modern Jazz
3. Clap your hands Sia 4. Scary Monsters, Nice Sprites Skrillex 5. Shing nei Kishore Kumar 6. Hello Honey Bunny Amitabh Bhattacharya, Amit Trivedi 7. Lemon Tree Fool’s Garden 8. Gentleman Psy 9. Harlem Shake Baauer 10. What does the Fox say Ylvis
TM AG TU ESDAY, A pr i l 1 , 201 4
Imagine the sweetness of the odorous white lilies, the tenderness of the midnight moon and the clarity of a midsummer sky. Now, imagine a voice that reminds you of such miracles of nature. Any luck? Allow us to introduce you to one of God’s greatest gifts to the world of contemporary jazz – Stacey Kent. Cocooned within an impeccable sense of romance and delicate pitch-perfect vibratos, her vocal prowess never fails to capture the essence of every song she sings. When you hear her sing: “This is where I want to be, here with you so close to me, until the final flicker of life’s ember” in her rendition of the classic jazz standard “Corcovado,” you can actually feel her voice caressing your heart and soul. Hailing all the way from New Jersey, with over 16 years of musical experience, she has released over 10 studio albums (The Boy Next Door and
WE RECOMMEND anime
Fight for Independence Set in the future, in 2029, “Guilty Crown” depicts the dark days in Japan following the outbreak of the “Apocalypse Virus.” It became known as the “Lost Christmas” of 2029. After their futile attempt to contain the threat, Japan pleaded for international help. In response, the UN sent a quasigovernmental organisation, commonly known as the GHQ. GHQ managed to successfully contain the virus. Though Japan was saved they had to pay a price. Hence, their independence was at stake. Is the future of Japan in the hands of GHQ? The best way to predict the future is to create one. Enter Ouma Shu, your average high school teenager, who encounters Inori Yuzuriha, the vocalist of a popular
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Smartphone usage has reached epic proportions over the last few years. Everyones’ got one, starting from the young to the old. The applications you use are essentially the “lifeblood” of your device and the wide range of available apps is what makes using them worthwhile. However, it’s rather difficult to stay updated on the rapidly changing mobile landscape. So here is an app that will put an end to your app foraging; meet Drippler. Not only does it keep you updated about useful apps out there, it also gives you helpful tips on news, updates
online narcissist group. She was being arrested by the GHQ for helping a resistance group named “funeral parlor.” While following her, Shu encounters Gai Tsutsugami, the leader of “funeral parlor” who asked him to hold on to a vial containing a “Void Genome,” an item the GHQ is desperately looking for. The entire series is a portrayal of what truly liberating one’s country means. In all honesty the show does tend to drag a little more than usual, and that too, to a point where one loses the plot. The story, political drama, and character development overall is good but were it not for ambiguity in certain places, this would have been a master piece. Syed Azraf Zaman
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or accessories available for your device. Want to know what’s the best theme for your S4? Can you use this app in your nexus? Is there an update available for iPhone users? Drippler has the answer to it all and much more! Discover something new for your phone every day; get tips on how to speed up your device or how to stop the battery from draining quickly. Get news about the next available update for your device or any other device for that matter. Learn about the latest accessories such as back covers, leather cases, and all sorts of things that suit your taste. Learn to get more out of your smartphone, stay ahead of the curve with Drippler. ASM fOYSAL
A Luxurious Adventure Impeccable design, slapstick humour and almost sinister characters, the Grand Budapest Hotel has hit the box office tops this year. The story begins slowly, as it opens in an overly luxurious hotel set in a fictional country called Zubrowka, in pre-war Europe. Following the adventures of Gustave, a legendary concierge and Moustafa, the hotel’s lobby boy, this movie creates humour where absurdity meets wit. As the film progresses, the events pick up pace and it becomes more entertaining as the murder mystery begins to unfold. Ralph Fiennes, playing M Gustave, gave a grandstanding performance as he conveyed an egotistical, yet loyal protagonist. The “grand” in the title is very appropriate: the intricate acts, the dramatic performances, and the odd humour is commendable. The costumes, cast, dialogues and interiors were all excellently synchronised. Moreover, the camera manoeuvring did the movie justice. In fact, the shifting photography and the careful 90-degree swivels will leave a viewer gawking at the spectacular visual complexity. So much so that the viewer might have to go back for a second viewing to actually enjoy the storyline. With clever humour, witty characters and an awfully luxurious setting, the Grand Budapest Hotel is more than just a story of crime and suspense; it is an elaborate drama playing out before the viewer. Afshan Sattar
TM AG TU E SDAY, Apr i l 1 , 20 1 4
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A man showing off his new spy pen demonstrates its features to a group of people, claiming that it was a “single shot pen.” Upon doing so, he pointed the pen to his head and due to his disregard to certain important details, he managed to shoot himself in the head. What a poor lad. He only wanted to show his toys off! Frenkel, from Russia, was under the misconception that he has somehow obtained the power to bend a spoon with his mind. Yes, we are talking about psychic powers, except that this person also believed he could stop vehicles at will. Subsequently, he marched up to a speeding train, hoping to stop it with the power of his mind. He ended up getting rammed by it.
Question 1 Lightning strikes near you! OMG! What do you do? 1. 2. 3. 4.
Lay on the floor and make grass angels Run to a protected area Hide in a tree dude! Run around an open field with a large, metal pole
Question 2 You have a 100 brothers and sisters to buy birthday presents for. What do you do? 1. 2. 3. 4.
Buy them all the same thing Pretend to be deaf and dumb Kill a few hundred of them off. Glue them together so you only need to buy one present
When I was taking my sweater off, it stuck to my T-shirt, causing it to ride up, along with the sweater. My bra said hi to my classmates.
My best friend gave me a rather painful wedgie during lunch time. They sent me to the sick room since I was unable to sit on a chair.
There are serious strong winds outside. What do you do? 1. Go inside 2. Hide in the fridge 3. Put on a baggy coat and spread out your arms in an open field, hoping to be blown away 4. Hide in a tree Question 4 If a scary little girl comes to you and says in a croaky voice: “You have watched the movie, you will die in seven days!” What do you say? 1. 2.
There were pictures of me wearing a lungi, 15 years back. My mother took the liberty of uploading them on Facebook.
I was eyeing this really cute guy at school. I intended to bump into him; little did I know that after doing so I’d let out a rather awkward laugh, followed by a snort. Somebody should’ve killed me right there!
Question 5 A mad man is running around your house with a white mask and a chainsaw. What do you do? 1. 2.
Email your confession today to email@example.com
TM AG TU ESDAY, A pr i l 1 , 201 4
I’m blind Awesome! Well there you have it. You must have great taste in the property market. Ahh. But you see. My love has set you free! Yes. I was already aware. So, you’re late. Late fool!
Run out to join him Turn on the chainsaw and chop his legs off Wave, and shout “I’m here!” Throw stones at him
What sort of a fool are you? Mostly 1’s are Simple Fools This kind of a person is easily led, innocent, and silly. He/ she is naive, and because of their thoughtlessness, may adapt to more serious forms of madness. A simple fool opens his/her mind to any passing thought and opens their arms to any passing stranger. The simple’s problem is not that they are incapable of wisdom, but will not accept it. Mostly 2’s are Silly Fools The mouth of a silly fool often gets him in trouble. When things go wrong, they become angry, resulting in more damage. A silly fool believes that their own way of thinking is right, so much so that he/she reacts to instructions when they are offered. Arguments, persuasion, and advice from well-meaning friends fail to convince them of their errors. Mostly 3’s are Sensual Fools He/she is not mentally deficit, but rather rejects the wisdom. The sensual fool’s focus is on that which brings them immediate pleasure. They find glory in things they should be ashamed of. A sensual fool is unreasonable. As a silly fool, their mouth gets them into trouble. But, as a sensual fool, his/her mouth gets them into more trouble. Sensual fools will reject reality and substitute it with their own version. Mostly 4’s are Scornful Fools Their facial expressions communicate their contempt and disapproval towards reality. The scornful fool utterly detests people and ideas that contradict their false thinking, and expresses disdain through sarcastic attitudes, behaviour, and speech. The scornful fool turns a deaf ear to rebuke the other party.