Weekend 142

Sign language 5

The price of love 18

FRIDAY FEBRUARY 14 2014 vol 1 Issue 42

Love offences 25

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CONTENTS EDITOR’S NOTE A Wee kly Pro ducti o n o f

DhakaTribune Vo lume 1, Issue 4 2 FEB RUA RY 14, 2 0 1 4 Editor Zafar Sobhan Assistant Magazine Editor Sumaiya Shams Rohini Alamgir Weekend Tribune Team Faisal Mahmud Adil Sakhawat Shah Nahian Farhana Urmee Natalie Siddique Art Direction/Photography Syed Latif Hossain

A world with love T

he entire world is preparing to celebrate the day of love, and we at WT are no different. If you are clueless about how to woo your sweetheart on this day, let Shah Nahian brief you about the know-hows of a perfect Valentine’s Day. If you’re planning for a day in, spend the afternoon watching romantic comedies with your better half, picked by Natalie Siddique. But wait! Don’t think Valentine’s Day is special? You’ll find that you’re not alone in this, as Shah Nahian and Sumaiya Shams duke it out over whether its importance is exaggerated.

For those who are not swept off their feet already, fear not! Today is, after all, about expressing your thoughts. So let Farhana Urmee tell you how people who are hearing impaired have found that words are overrated and signs and gestures can speak your mind just as well. Elsewhere, Rohini Alamgir explains why you should stand up and protest violence against women and reminds you that one day spent expressing your love for them just doesn’t cut it. Finally, join us as we pay tribute to all the people who passed away today.

Before we sign off, we’d like to express our love for you, dear reader. Check out the new look we’re bringing to you from the bottoms of our hearts. Love it? Hate it? Write to us about it!

And so, have a great weekend, and a very happy Valentine’s Day. n

5 Pick of the Week Sign language

Cartoon Syed Rashad Imam Tanmoy Rio Shuvo Contributors Tausif Sanzum Syed Latif Hossain Dina Sobhan Jennifer Ashraf Chanchal Kamal Priyo Design Mohammad Mahbub Alam Natalie Siddique Colour Specialist Shekhar Mondal Kazi Syras Al Mahmood Production Masum Billah Advertising Shahidan Khurshed

2 This Week 3 Letters to the Editor 4 Say What?

9 Digital Bangladesh

National Robotics Festival 2014

10 Post-Riposte

Valentine’s Day

11 Top 10

Guilty pleasure romantic comedies

12 Photo Story

A thing called love

20 Out and About

One Billion Rising for Justice

21 Out and About

Circulation Wahid Murad

Email: weekend@dhakatribune.com Web: www.dhakatribune.com

23 WT | Leisure

Cover Valentine’s Day

by Syed Rashad Imam Tanmoy

18 Feature The price of love

Boi Mela Beat

22 Tough Love 24 Legal Eagle 25 Crime File

Love offences

26 Obituary 27 The Way Dhaka Was

Teacher-Student Centre, DU

28 Last Word W E E K E N D TR IBUN E FR I DAY, FE B R UARY 1 4, 20 1 4

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THIS WEEK

Februar y 7-Februar y 13

Mashrafe bin Mortaza is captaining Bangladesh cricket team for the two-match Twenty20 international series against Sri Lanka in Chittagong in the absence of Mushfiqur Rahim. Mushfiqur had to step down as he has a hairline fracture.

Dhaka Tribune

Around three tonnes of ivory comprising of 698 elephant tusks and nearly 15,000 carved items, worth over $1m, was crushed at Champs de Mar at the foot of the Eiffel Tower. France joined countries including the US and China in destroying ivory stockpiles.

Christina Russo/National Geographic

China and Taiwan held their first government-to government talk since 1949-the year they split after a brutal civil war. This meeting is a historic step between the former bitter rivals.

However, observers believe that one should not expect so much as it will take time for the two sides to get really integrated.

Reuters

Researchers at Kaspersky Lab in Russia discovered a cyber spying operation that has been active since 2007. It used techniques and code that surpassed any nation-state spyware. This attack, dubbed as “The Mask,� also targeted oil, gas and energy industries, research organisations and activists. wired.co.uk Compiled by: Tausif Sanzum

W E E K E N D TRIBUNE F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 1 4 , 2014

to the editor

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LETTERS

Back to the drawing board

I can see that you are trying to change the look of your magazine, and I appreciate your efforts. But I think some of your ideas aren’t working. I’ve always liked the white spaces in every issue; it was soothing to the eye.

The gaping mouth in the Big Mouth Strikes Again column was an eyesore.

Could you please reconsider your plans and see that the changes reflect the original sophisticated look that attracted me to Weekend Tribune in the first place?

Abu Hena Mostafa Moulvibazar, Sylhet

Simple is the best

The page on Boi Mela was quite interesting. I liked how you guys presented so much information in such a simple manner. Do you think you could make the other pages like this one too?

Good job

The This Week page looks a lot better. Before, it used to look dull and newsy. Now, at least I want to read it.

Sharat Dhanmondi, Dhaka

A poor end

The Last Word column written by Masum Billah was quite drab, to be honest. He did not have anything new to add to what has already been said. Sorely disappointed.

Shahriar Erfan Dhanmondi, Dhaka

Ishtiaque Ahmed Dhanmondi, Dhaka

Perfect start to a Friday I absolutely loved last week’s cover stories.

I have always wanted to be a pilot, but never went for it because of my poor eyesight.

Reading about the private flying schools in Bangladesh took me back to my childhood when all I could think was being able to fly.

Loved reading about Afzal Hossain too. I didn’t even know one of Pentium’s creators was a Bangladeshi! Weekend Tribune made my Friday morning absolutely perfect. Thanks guys!

LETTER

of the week

Muntasir Ahmed Baridhara, Dhaka

Send us your feedback at: weekend@dhakatribune.com W E E K E N D TR IBUN E FR I DAY, FE B R UARY 1 4, 20 1 4

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SAY WHAT?

Ministry of Cultural Affairs announced individuals will be awarded with the Ekushey Padak, one of the country’s highest civilian awards. They will receive 18-carat gold medal, an weighing three tolas, an honouring of Tk100,000 and a certificate.

“50,000 more police to be recruited.”

Dhaka Tribune

Prime Minister Sheikh Hasina speaking about efforts to improve law and order.

$630 million worth of heroin was destroyed by the Australian Navy.

“

Mitra Mobasherat/CNN

POLICE SOLD US TO TRAFFICKERS Faruk, one of the three tourists allegedly nabbed by law enforcement officers on their way to Teknaf talks.

”

“The US military funds a project to develop electronics that can selfdestruct like the secret messages in the Mission Impossible TV show.”

The US Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency provided IBM a $3.5m (£2.1m) contract to work on its Vanishing Programmable Resources (VAPR) project.

BBC

6,778

candidates were absent on the first day of SSC examinations while nine were expelled for cheating.

Compiled by: Tausif Sanzum W E E K E N D TRIBUNE F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 1 4 , 2014

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PICK OF THE WEEK

SPEAKING IN S

I

G

N

S

Farhana Urmee learns about an intricate art of communication without words

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The signposts 1994

January 2009

the first dictionary for Bangla sign language is published by Ministry of Social Welfare in association with Bangladesh National Federation of the Deaf (BNFD)

Faking signs In the funeral of Nelson Mandela, a sign interpreter was accused of using fake signs during the speech of President Barack Obama. Faking sign language has been a common problem everywhere. Two sign interpreters at BTV have been suspended for allegedly using wrong signs, as several complaints were made against them by the hearing impaired people in the country.

DID YOU KNOW?

Farhana Urmee is a forgetful journalist who is very serious about taking her notes, because without those she is of no use

Ministry of Social Welfare announces the Bangla sign language to be recognised nationally

• The first book on educating the hearing impaired people was first published in

1620 by a Spanish priest named Juan Pablo Bonnet

• The first organisation for the hearing impaired was founded in France in

1803

38 schools for the hearing impaired were established in India between 1900 and 1947 • In Dhaka, the first school for the hearing impaired was established in 1913

• A total of

Y

ou find the meeting place quiet even at the busiest time; you don’t really hear anyone talking. Yet, the people inside communicate with each other, each conveying their thoughts and opinions to the others.

If you think they pass notes, you would be wrong, because they do not write to each other either. They talk – not using their lips, teeth and tongue, but their hands, fingers and facial expressions. It is the meeting place of the Society for Deaf and Sign Language Users (SDSL), an NGO that works to help hearing impaired people.

Time to make some noise With a population of 30 lakh hearing impaired in the country, as claimed by Action Aid Bangladesh, we hardly have a well-designed sign language. The presence of sign language interpreters at events and in TV media is also unsatisfactory.

The only exceptions at present are BTV and Desh TV, who air at least one bulletin every day where the news is interpreted in sign language so that the hearing impaired can follow the news updates. Also, to realise their right to information, W E E K E N D TRIBUNE F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 1 4 , 2014

February 2009

Prime Minsiter Sheikh Hasina proclaims Bangla sign language to be one of the languages used in the country at the inauguration of Ekushey Boi Mela

Photos: Courtesy

any programme that features the prime minister, and/or her speech, is translated by sign language interpreters these days. That is the only acknowledgement of the presence of hearing impaired people in society. A lot more is yet to be done, their voices to be heard, and their rights yet to be established.

Mizanur Rahman, a deaf person who works at the SDSL, claims that, the number of steps taken to recognise the importance of sign language here are not sufficient. “We do not have any training facilities for sign language in the country. Only non-government organisations are vocal about training in sign language, whereas the government should be actively involved,” he says.

He also stressed on the importance of the government’s support in developing and preserving Bangla sign language. “If the government does not pay attention to the development of our sign language, foreign donors will intervene, and foreign signs will eventually get incorporated in our sign language, halting our own language’s development,” he added, while his friends at SDSL agreed.

Osman Khaled, president of the SDSL, recalled how he struggled through his school years: “School here was very hard for me. My

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March 2009

Private television channel Desh TV introduces sign language interpretation in its bulletin

August 2009

BTV introduces sign language interpretation for its news bulletin

January 2012

In an inter-ministerial meeting, it is decided that there will be a national day for Bangla sign language on February 7

Profile: SDSL

teachers used to force me to speak, which was a torture for me.

I was privileged enough to get my education abroad. But I have noticed that not much has changed for the hearing impaired over the years. We need to modernise the schooling system for the hearing impaired, especially train the teachers properly. In fact, supports should be provided to physically challenged students in all the schools in the country.”

A persisting problem Among all the physically challenged people in Bangladesh, those with hearing and speech impairment suffer the most. Their rehabilitation encompasses a major concern for a proper education system for them.

The government has seven special schools across the country, to provide education up to Class VIII to children with hearing impairment.

The schools will be upgraded to SSC soon.

Teachers still struggle to teach

the hearing impaired students, as they only receive teaching training at the government-run Teachers’ Training Colleges. Special training is required in order to teach the hearing impaired, but unfortunately, there are no professional facility to provide the training at present.

Saidur Rahman, head master of Government Special School for Children with Hearing Impairment, Dhaka, says: “Teachers often receive a basic training or attend a workshop on sign language, which is utterly insufficient to communicate with the students properly. Moreover, most students graduating from the special schools are forced to give up higher education due to the lack proper support. Same goes for the job scenario.” He also emphasises on the necessity of a fully-functional sign language institute to train teachers and interpreters, conduct research on sign language and, above all, help recognise the rights of sign language users in the country.

It is high time that the rights of the hearing impaired were taken seriously, both by the government and the society. With proper training and support, they can certainly contribute a lot to the country’s progress. Giving them a voice would only make us stronger as a nation. n

• A few sign language users in Dhaka start the organisation in 2008, aiming to help the hearing impaired people in the country • Currently, it has a nine-member executive committee, seven of whom have hearing impairment, while one is a sign language interpreter • The organisation is currently working to advocate the need of establishing a well-structured standard for Bangla sign language • It is training sign language interpreters and advocating more incorporation of sign language interpreters in public spheres • The members volunteer to interpret to the police, courts and victim support centres in the cases where the victims and the witnesses have hearing impairment • It also provides people with hearing and speech difficulties with a platform where they can find support and solution to their problems

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Badrunnahar Toma Sign language interpreter at Desh TV

Courtesy

Why did you choose this profession?

Mostly because of my parents: they have hearing and speech impairments. I was lucky to be born without

my initial training came from my parents. The professional trainings helped me to hone my skills.

the impairments, but I also realised how much trouble

Funnily enough, I realised at one point that the signs

sign language interpreter.

signs they use between themselves. That means there

they had to put up with. Thus I chose to become a

How did you learn to speak?

My grandmother taught me. I was two when my

relatives noticed that I was communicating with my parents using signs, just like they did. They got worried and shipped me off to my grandmother’s.

that my parents use with me are different than the

is a scope of inconsistency, as well as incorporation of new signs. So my trainings helped me with that as well.

What is your plan for the future?

Since I know the trials and tribulations of people with

hearing and speech impairments in this country, I want to actively contribute to the welfare of this

Where did you get your training on sign language?

community. I think proper training in sign language

I did a basic 15-day course on sign language at BNFD,

is yet to be done, and I can share my knowledge to do

followed by a three-month training at SDSL. However,

W E E K E N D TRIBUNE F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 1 4 , 2014

is a must for the teachers and interpreters. A lot more as much as I can.

Digital Bangladesh

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National Robotics Festival 2014

Faisal Mahmud is good at memorising seemingly unnecessary information and finds that journalism actually appreciates, if not nurtures, that sort of futile flair

The E

Photos: Faisal Mahmud

Faisal Mahmud

finds himself in his element at the ultimate geek showdown

real steel

vents like National Robotics Festival can easily make a layman feel alienated.

For instance, some lines that were frequently heard amid the increasing cacophony of enthralled tech-savvy youths and the mechanical sounds permeating the bleak auditorium of the National Sports Council (NSC) were: “Oh, see, they have used Kinect!”

“I think, C# for the back-end would have been a better choice instead of VB.” “No DC motors? How come?”

“Did you think of using hydraulic actuators?”

“We used a gyroscope.”

“Debugging in Matlab is tough!”

Esoteric, indeed.

But that didn’t detract from the sheer joy of watching those “little things” moving, rotating, jumping, digging and flying.

“You don’t need to understand the science of robotics to appreciate a robot. Watching a mechanical object moving on human command is pure fun,” said Atiq Abu Rushd, an employee of a buying house, who came to the festival just out of curiosity.

Fahim Morshed, a third-year student of electrical engineering at Brac University, however, came

to learn. “I plan to pursue a higher degree in robotics. So I came to see the various projects. And as much fun as robots are to play with, they are even more fun to build,” he said, adding, “Besides, my friends from the university have robots here. I came to cheer them on.”

His friends Aabdulla Hil Kafi and Maisun Ibn Monowar had designed a robot named Surrogate.

Imagine a health and safety worker assigned to clean an area with hazardous material. What if he could stand in a room and pick up imaginary toxic waste while a humanoid robot mimicked his movements and picked up the real toxic waste?

“That’s exactly what our robot Surrogate can do,” Kafi said. “We have yet to find a way to achieve complex human motions such as grabbing and complete, smooth arm movement, and we are still working on designing a better humanoid shape for our robot,” he added.

While Surrogate can detect human motion, the robot Nirbhik, developed by Nazib Aahmed, SK Nazmul Islam, Md Sarafat Islam and Kashfia Naz Nikita of United International University, can explore solid surface including areas where humans can’t reach and detect

weapons and metal bodies.

“In 2012 and 2013, the Bangladesh government spent more than Tk1crore to borrow a robot from the US to detect bombs in Ramna before Pohela Boishakh. We wanted to build a robot which could serve the same purpose and cost way less,” Nikita said.

The robot Agrobot, developed

by Nazifa Rumman, Nowrin Jahan, Maisha Mesbah and Sakila Alam from Military Institute of Science and Technology, could be a very useful tool for an agricultural country like Bangladesh.

“As the name suggests, it’s a robot which can do farming,” Rumman said.

“We have designed a mechanical grip for the robot. It will get a hold of the crop and then cut the crop with a blade that we’ve built into it. After that its hand moves backwards and drops the crop into a basket. What’s more is that, since the sun shines brightly at the time of reaping in our country, we used a solar panel as our power source. If it is commercially produced, I think it will serve the country well,” he said.

Nazrul Islam Khan, secretary at the Ministry of ICT, was present at the festival and agreed with them.

“Our young engineers are doing

brilliant job. This is an era of science and robots are best example of what science can achieve for us,” he said.

Khan also said that the government would soon provide funding for the young entrepreneurs who come up with implementable ideas for industrial robots.

“That’s our main target for organising such a festival: to create a new wave of research on robotics,” said Shams Shad Rafi, the organising secretary of the Engineering Students Association of Bangladesh (ESAB) and, more specifically, the organiser of the festival.

This year, a total of 140 robots created by the students of different universities were displayed. The best two robots will take part in the International Autonomous Robotics Contest (IARC) in IIT, Kanpur. n

Investing in (artificial) intelligence

Apart from the varied display of robots, the event constituted three other attractions: Battle of Speed, Robots Got Freedom, and Exploring the Dreams. While the first two events focused on developing robots, the latter one broadened the perspective of school and college going students and propagated their passion for robots.

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POST-RIPOSTE

Valentine’s Day

Is the day of love overrated?

As the world celebrates the most romantic day today, the WT team argues whether it is overly exaggerated or not

Sadly, it is Shah Nahian

V

alentine’s Day is supposed to be a celebration of love and romance for you and your special person.

However, with each passing year, it is becoming increasingly commercialised.

Television commercials are constantly trying to convince the audience that your love is measured by how much money you spend on your valentine. However, love is more complex than diamonds, flowers and chocolates. To stage an extravagant act just for one day makes little to no sense.

Relationships are already hard to sustain as it is, and it can do without the people being mindlessly brainwashed into believing that buying things for each other is vital for their relationship to survive.

I believe that, rather than going out on a limb to plan something extravagant for only one day in a year, one should show their partner love and consideration throughout the year. Small gestures of romance and reassuring your significant other that you care will help you build up a better and healthier relationship. You can still save the extravagant ideas for an occasion that actually holds significance than just a commercialised event. n

Cartoons: Priyo

Of course not!

Sumaiya Shams

T

aking a day out of the year just to express how much you love the people in your life, or just that special someone – how can that be extravagant?

Sure, love still exists through the rest of the year, but Valentine’s Day is when you stop and think about people you hold near and dear. As we keep chasing success in today’s fast-paced world, some of us sometimes forget the more important aspects in our lives – our loved ones. Relationships do tend to be harder to sustain these days, and celebrating the day of love might just be the right way to make things a bit smoother.

Extravagant gifts aren’t exchanged on Valentine’s Day only.

People who can afford to spend ridiculous amounts of money on gifts always do – be it Valentine’s Day, riendship Day, someone’s birthday, anniversary, or any other special day. It’s the thought that counts, and people who truly love you will always appreciate the gesture. And that is the true spirit of Valentine’s Day – to let your beloved know how special they are for you. So no, there’s nothing exaggerated about Valentine’s Day. It’s a beautiful occasion to express your love and affection toward someone you care about. n

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TOP 10

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guilty pleasure romantic comedies

There’s nothing that adds to the perfection of a weekend afternoon in the depths of your couch than the warm accompaniment of a good old romantic comedy. Male or female, feminist or misogynist, we can all find the sweet spot for the films whose plot holes, shoddy acting and unfathomably unrealistic depictions of love keep us coming back for more. That’s why Natalie Siddique compiles 10 best rom-coms to compliment your plans for Valentine’s Day - voted by you, of course. To take part in the next poll, please visit our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/ WeekendTrib, or the Dhaka Tribune page at www.facebook.com/DhakaTribune

1

Natalie Siddique is a half-Bangali, halfRussian, exploring her roots in Bangladesh.

Understanding why people are the way they are consumes most of her day

YOU’VE GOT MAIL (1998) A Nora Ephron classic that renders the greatest of nostalgia for the 90s. It takes us back to a time when bookstores were competitive and AOL email was a high-tech communication medium. The film revolves around Tom Hanks and a broke Meg Ryan, who hates conglomerates yet lives in an elegant apartment and buys Starbucks every day, writing love letters via IM! What could be more nonsensically pleasurable? Also, Dave Chappelle makes a six-line appearance.

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WHEN HARRY MET SALLY ... (1989)

Challenging the contentious question of the viability of male-female friendships, a Nora Ephron’s film tops the list again with this gem that delivers a fantastic script and heart-melting scenes. I don’t care how heartless you are - the New Year’s Eve scene is “impossible to hate.”

And as a movie of 1989, fantastically ridiculous wardrobes provide plenty of unadulterated amusement.

4

PRETTY WOMAN (1990)

Richard Gere being a sleazy rich man swooning after Julia Roberts playing a prostitute. It’s basically Cinderella with pimps, clearly a winner with most feminists. With such a fragrantly guilty-pleasure-ridden plot, what’s not to love?

notting hill (1999)

Forming the requisite dreamlike circumstances of any great romcom, Julia Roberts plays a famous, wealthy American actress living a luxurious life in London. Then she meets an independent bookkeeper, played by Hugh Grant, and his irresistible accent.

IRRESISTIBLE ACCENT. What more needs to be said?

films we hate to love and love to hate 5

Sleepless in seattle (1993)

Nora Ephron makes the list again, showcasing Tom Hanks with a sob story that magnetises women faster than a puppy. Paired with Meg Ryan, we look beyond the cheesiness of the plot and fawn after the romanticism of the Empire State Building scene, where the two finally meet on Valentine’s Day.

8

sweet home alabama (2002)

I think we all fell in love with the Southern belle role of Reese Witherspoon, or were exploding with jealousy over her “difficult” decision between Patrick Dempsey and Josh Lucas. I know I wish I had her problems. Check for the massive plot hole next time you watch this one.

6

how to lose a guy in 10 days (2003)

It’s two good-looking people, Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey, making obnoxious behaviour look good. You may want to jab yourself for enjoying its scenes that might only appear decent because Kate Hudson’s acting hadn’t plunged yet, but either way, the guilty pleasure manifests through aesthetics.

9

my best friend’s wedding (1997)

Clearly, Julia Roberts knows how to do rom-coms. Focused around her character attempting to stop her best friend’s wedding, there are no surprises in the plot. The real treasures exist in its absurdities, like the scene in which the entire cast breaks out in Aretha Franklin’s “I Say a Little Prayer” in a chain seafood restaurant. Pure gold, my friends, pure gold.

7

10 things i hate about you (1999)

Coming to the screens during the golden era of high school flicks, It’s the film from which many of our awkward adolescent selves tried to understand how to date under conditions of overprotective parents.

Also, who didn’t fall in love with Heath Ledger in this one?

10

never been kissed (1999)

Surrounding a completely unrealistic plot in which Drew Barrymore plays an undercover journalist enrolled back into her high school, this often forgotten flick delivers quirky awkward love that makes it strangely pleasing. If that doesn’t do it for you, the late 90s vibe will bring all the warm and fuzzy feelings you need inside.

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PHOTO STORY a thing called love

All you need is love by

It’s February and love is more obviously in the air. It’s an interesting thing, this emotion called love. Whether it’s a capital “L” or a small one, we place different connotations on the concept of love. In different relationships – parents and children, siblings, friends, special friends or even W E E K E N D TRIBUNE F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 1 4 , 2014

SYED LATIF HOSSAIN

animals – love is what brings us together and keeps us together.

Unfortunately, with differing labels, we connote love in different ways. What we tend to forget is that love is an all-encompassing emotion, and no matter whom we love, the bottom line is that we can and do love.

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PHOTO STORY a thing called love

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PHOTO STORY a thing called love

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Courtesy

W E E K E N D TR IBUN E FR I DAY, FE B R UARY 1 4, 20 1 4

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Shah Nahian is a staff writer at Dhaka tribune with a passion for music and art. When he’s not being forced to work, he spends his time daydreaming and hanging out with friends

Feature

the price of love

A

ccording to the legend, marriage was outlawed in Rome for young men under the third century rule of Claudius II, who believed that single men made better soldiers than ones with wives. Recognising the injustice of the decree, a priest named Valentine defied the emperor by continuing to perform marriages for young lovers. After Valentine’s actions were discovered, he was sentenced to death. While imprisoned, Valentine fell in love with his jailor’s daughter who visited him during his confinement. Before his death on February 14, Valentine wrote her a letter signed “From your Valentine.”

The co$t of cour ting like cupid In celebration of Saint Valentine’s sacrifice for love, how passionately will you show romance to your special someone? Shah Nahian presents a menu-style guide for what a night as cupid might cost you …

THE APPETISER I think it is safe to say that it really wouldn’t be Valentine’s Day without a valentine. While expensive gifts are an easy route, it doesn’t take a year’s salary to give something that screams “I love you.” In fact, some of the best presents should say more than “Babe, I spent a LOT of money on this.”

Flowers are like a side dish to your recipe for creating the best valentine. Single roses will cost you around Tk10, small bouquets about Tk100-200; medium bouquets range from Tk250-400 and the biggest ones usually costs around Tk500.

However, you can’t stop at flowers. Personalisation, my friend, is the most important ingredient to the concoction.

While your valentine might find a card made from scratch with your third grade artistic skills “sweet,” I recommend

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making a selection from the gift shop. The Archies Gallery holds a range of beautiful cards starting from Tk130 and ranging to Tk375 for more extravagant ones. Make sure to add a special touch of writing to show your dedication.

For the main gift, however, you should aim for something you know your significant other really wants. What perfume/ cologne does he/she wear?

What brand of shoes does he/ she prefer? Is he/she really into music, gadgets or art? Ask yourself these questions until you find something uniquely suited to your loved one.

Now, if you plan to do it right, adding stuffed animals (Tk250-750), scented candles (Tk170-290), chocolates and a framed photo of the both of you (Tk290-750) will set you up for a winning Valentine’s Day recipe.

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MAIN COURSE Though not cheap or easy, you can spice up your date this Valentine's Day by doing something adventurous. This doesn't require a trip to Mount Everest; you can have plenty of smaller scale adventures right here in Dhaka if you get a little creative.

Sit down and consider what your significant other hasn’t done or wouldn’t normally do. Has he/she been on a boat ride? Has he/she ever gone

swimming in a lake? Has he/she ever tried singing in public? The key to success is spontaneity.

Keep surprising your love throughout the day with experiences the both of you will remember.

The main course estimate will depend on the activities you choose. However, you should be safe carrying Tk5,000 to a maximum range of Tk10,000.

DESSERT DATING MENU APPETIsERS CARDS Tk130-500 FLOWERS Tk 10-500

MAIN GIFT Tk3,000-8,000 You will have to brainstorm a little for this.

EXTRAS Tk600-3,000 Stuffed animals, chocolates, scented candles, photo frames

After a day of adventure, what can be a better conclusion than a romantic dinner?

In my opinion, going to any of your favourite restaurants will suffice. However, you can also consider splurging on a meal at one of Dhaka’s many restaurant and hotel options.

At the Radisson Blu Water Garden, you can go for a romantic candlelight dinner for two, a buffet spread with special Valentine’s Day desserts or just to party. Or enjoy a buffet dinner for Tk2,400 per person at Ruposhi Bangla Hotel. Hotel Sarina Dhaka is offering a

buffet dinner and live music for Tk3,200 per couple, and Platinum Suites will present live music, a candlelight dinner, photo session, raffle draw, complimentary access to a chocolate fountain, a best couple competition and access to the platinum terrace at Tk3,000 per person. the Westin Dhaka has a deluxe room special at Tk14,214 for an evening escape, Nando’s will offer a special set menu for Tk2,014 for every couple, and Steak House will serve a buffet dinner with live music and BBQ for Tk1,800 per person. n

TOTAL ESTIMATE: Tk3,740-12,000

MAIN COURSE DAY OF ACTIVITIES

The main course estimate will depend on the activities you choose.

TOTAL ESTIMATE: Tk5,000-10,000

DESSERT

DINNER

From a restaurant of your choice

So no matter how ‘in love’ you are, a cupidstyle Valentine's Day will definitely cost you.

HOTEL ROOM If you choose

TOTAL ESTIMATE: Tk2,014-20,000

GRAND TOTAL: Tk10,754-42,000

W E E K E N D TR IBUN E FR I DAY, FE B R UARY 1 4, 20 1 4

20

Out AND about

The rise of social justice Rohini Alamgir likes looking into the details of seemingly simple matters. She is constantly working on her autobiography because she thinks her life is worth reading about

What’s happening?

Remembering Kolpona Chakma, the Monirampur rape case, and Nadia Sharmeen, OBR has prepared monologues and testimonies as part of their nationwide program. They demand justice for not only these, but every similar case that manages to make it to public notice. A flash mob will also begin and end the event at the same location.

Who are they?

One Billion Rising began as a call to action by V-Day (a global activist movement) after the UN revealed the statistic that one in every three women in the world will either be beaten or raped in her lifetime. Since the world population stands at around seven billion, the number of women and girls affected adds up to more than one billion. Uddomey Uttoroney Shotokoti is an alliance of rights groups and activists who came together in 2012.

W E E K E N D TRIBUNE F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 1 4 , 2014

one billion rising for justice

out & DHAK

If you’ve ever sat and pondered on the plight of women in Bangladesh, their lack of equal rights, the gender roles that society enforces on them, or even the constant threat of violence that looms over them in our patriarchal society, here’s your chance to do something about it. Join Uddomey Uttoroney Shotokoti (One Billion Rising, OBR) on February 14 in rising up, walking out and demanding an end to violence against women. In Dhaka, the event is set to take place in front of the High Court in Ramna at 2pm. In Bangladesh, they hope to garner the support of 66 districts. Remember to dress in red. Or if you’re not out and about, join them by hoisting a red cloth in front of your house, office and other establishments.

Why Valentine’s Day? Courtesy

OBR feels that there is a need to change the commercialised nature of Valentine’s Day. Rather, they want it to be a day that reminds everyone that women should be loved and respected always, and not just on one specific day. They want it to be the start of conversations and actions toward ending violence against women, and a step in the right direction for our justice system. They feel that it is time to challenge discriminatory practices and laws and to start thinking about actually progressing as a society.

Guess what?

Data provided by the Bangladesh Police Division says that 174,691 women were subjected to violence between 2011 and 2012, yet no reports are published on how many of these cases are tried for justice.

Last year, OBR put forward a similar campaign, and approximately 3 million Bangladeshi men and women were mobilised on the streets. Over 400 organisations, spanning 206 countries, responded to this call to end violence against women.

300 Bangladeshi organisations are actively participating in and supporting the OBR movement.

When OBR started, over 10,000 events took place across the globe and the campaign ruled the World Wide Web for 48 hours.

What’s the saying?

The catch phrase for this day and hopefully for every day to come henceforth:

“Women deserve to feel safe. Break

the silence and reveal your stories.”

Who’s with them?

ActionAid Bangladesh, Adcomm, Ain O Shalish Kendra, Airtel, Aranyak Natta Dal, ASED Habigonj, Asiatic, BCHRD, Bangladesh on Seven Summits, BEGINNING Production, Bengal Gallery of Fine Arts, BLAST, BRAC, CAMPE, Colours FM, Dhaka Tribune, Digimarka, Durbar Network, Goethe Institute, IFUW-Bangladesh, JAAGO Foundation, Kapaeeng Foundation, KGS Sirajgonj, Kormojibi Nari, Manusher Jonno Foundation, MastHead PR, Maya, Media Link, Nagorik, Naripokkho, Nijera Kori, Plan International Bangladesh, Policy Initiative Forum, PRISM, Radio Shadhin, RIC, Sadhona, SANGAT, Sex Worker’s Network, SOHAY, Somporker Naya Shetu, SoundMachine, TARANGO, The Legal Circle, UNDP, VDAY Dhaka, Voice of Poor People, Quest Videos, Qubee.

FUN FAIR FACTS

& about KA

21 Boi Mela Beat

WEEK 2 HOT ON THE SHELVES

•

The book fair has incorporated a number of events for children as well as adults. Apart from the big stalls of the publishers who only publish material for children, the Bangla Academy has also included (for the first time) a separate stall with special publications and books for children.

•

The Ekushey book fair also has another interesting initiative for the children: Shishu Prahar, a segment of the fair (from 10am till 3pm on Saturdays) when it is only open for the children. Children and their guardians come during these hours to avoid the rush of the regular Boi Mela hours (38pm, everyday).

Farhana Urmee is a forgetful journalist who is very serious about taking her notes, because without those she is of no use

1 Tore Tore Tokka Syed Shamsul Haque

ALMANAC

2 Dorjata Kholo

Serajul Islam Choudhury

3 Kalo Maniker Golpo

O Onnanya

Shamsuzzaman Khan

4 Football Theke Shabdhan Hasan Azizul Huq 5 Chhotokaku Faridur Reza Sagar

IN FOCUS BOI MELA BLOW-BY-BLOW In the very first week a total of 463 books were released at the fair. On the

Serajul Islam Choudhury Eminent writer Serajul Islam Choudhury, an English literature professor from Dhaka University, focuses much of his writing on the history, land, culture and analytics of Bangladesh’s past (and present) socio-political circumstances. His latest book is titled Bicchhinnotay Oshommoti, where he speaks about the alienation of human beings in today’s society; an alienation from nature, community, and even from the self, in a rich narration of 15 individual chapters.

He provides a perspective on how people are gradually becoming more dissociated in their lives although they are surrounded by infinite knowledge that can be learned through art, culture, literature, and politics. Through his essays, he stands against this isolation. His work ranges from the liberation war at a regional level to more autobiographical approaches. The book promises to be a good read with precise arguments and concise narration of incidents.

Its publication house, Bidyaprokash, has priced it at Tk225.

sixth day of book fair, 97 books were released. By the seventh day, this number

increased to 173, and on the eighth day, 142 books were released. 78 books were

released on the ninth day of the fair, with only 77 on the tenth. On the 11th day, 99 books came out, while on the 12th day, it was 88.

WHO’S IN? Nandita Tabassum Khan Nandita Tabassum Khan saw her first book published and released at this book fair. A university teacher by profession, Nandita wants to be analytical and dig into facts that otherwise remain hidden. Titled Laloner Jiboninirbhor Cholocchitrey Lalondorshoner Represetation, her book is an extensively researched work that looks into how our films have depicted the life and philosophy of Lalon.

“In fact, we have a very trifling number of films made on the life of Laon.

And amid those that we do have, Lalon is depicted from a very commercial, incomplete and partial viewpoint,” says film loving Nandita. She started working on the book after being disappointed with our films on Lalon.

Films have the largest capacity to reach the common people, and can effectively convey the life-changing messages of Lalon, allowing them to be enriched with a proper representation of Lalon, she thinks.

Supporting Nandita’s first endeavour, the Bangladesh Film Archive published her book. She aspires to write more on critical things in the future, especially on Courtesy films and popular culture. She also dreams of becoming a filmmaker someday. n W E E K E N D TR IBUN E FR I DAY, FE B R UARY 1 4, 20 1 4

22 Dina Sobhan is a freelance writer and cautions readers not to take her “advice” here too seriously!

Got a problem? Write to Dina at weekend@ dhakatribune.com

TOUGH LOVE

DINA SOBHAN

1

My boyfriend and I have been together for the last two years. We’ve been thinking of getting married, and since both our parents are now amenable to this plan, we have both been working hard and saving for months for our own place.

Last night, however, he asked me if I would let him give me a pair of diamond earrings that I really liked. Obviously I’m flattered and if we weren’t saving every penny for our own house, I’d say yes in an instant, but I feel guilty accepting it right now. What should I do?

In my experience, this is the first time a woman has had problems receiving gifts of jewellery. While I understand that your overwhelming priority is getting a house, I’m sure your boyfriend has enough common sense to have put aside a small amount specifically for the purpose of making you happy. This is a good thing.

Instead of feeling guilty – because, really, what’s the point? – allow him to give you a pretty gift that will make both of you feel closer and more eager than ever to share a house together,

the acquisition of which will only have been delayed by perhaps a month due to said gift. If you refuse the gift, however, it may lead to all sorts of hidden and repressed resentments on both your parts, which will ultimately cause the demise of an otherwise wonderful relationship that would’ve lasted had you only accepted his gift!

And for future reference: Never deny yourself diamonds. n

Rio Shuvo/Dhaka Tribune

2

I am a 16-year-old boy, and I have decided to leave school this year. My parents, however, do not see eye to eye with me. They say it is too early for me to quit school and want me to start focusing on getting through my A Levels and into a “good university.” I feel that I am old enough to make my own decisions. I am passionate

W E E K E N D TRIBUNE F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 1 4 , 2014

about music and want to make a career out of it. I’ve recently even been offered an album deal by a record label, and I just want to focus on that, but my parents are adamant. How do I get them to understand and back off? I’m ready to take on my own responsibilities and start earning for myself. Help me!

I’m sad to inform you that, as a 16-yearold, you are most certainly not ready to make your own decisions and take on your own responsibilities. Unless, of course, you’re referring to picking up your dirty socks from your bedroom floor and depositing them into a hamper. What you probably have an excess of is passion (read: hormones) and talent - something that will not be diminished by time or an education.

However, time without the benefit of a degree could be positively cruel to an uneducated has-been whose only claim to fame is that he released a rock album when he was 16 and then went

on to live a life of semi-poverty due to poor record sales and subsequent lack of national and global recognition.

Phew! That doesn’t sound like much fun, does it? But if you actually finish your studies while continuing to play music, you’ll hone both your intelligence and your talent and will, in a couple of years, have the option to be a rock star, a rocket scientist or an accountant, if you should so choose. The point is it will be a choice, something you will be sacrificing by making premature decisions based on youthful ignorance. Be a good boy and listen to mummy. n

|

23

WT LEISURE

?

DID YOU KNOW?

The term

Casanova

originated from Italian author and adventurer, Giacomo Girolamo Casanova. Casanova was known for his controversial affairs.

Research shows that women buy of cards on Valentine's Day. Men buy approximately of the flowers on February 14.

85% 70%

Though John Cadbury came out with a process to sell solid

chocolate bars. You

people need to thank his son, Richard Cadbury for coming out with the very first Valentine's day candy box.

Rio Shuvo/Dhaka Tribune

W E E K E N D TR IBUN E FR I DAY, FE B R UARY 1 4, 20 1 4

24 Jennifer Ashraf is a barrister and solicitor of England and Wales. She is currently Senior Partner at Legacy Legal Corporate.

When she is not solving complicated legal problems, Jennifer is usually found travelling to exotic locations sampling the indigenous cuisine Got a problem?

Write to Jennifer at weekend@ dhakatribune.com

LEGAL EAGLE

Jennifer Ashraf

1

My wife and I have been married for the last five years, but have been separated for the last two months. We have yet to get a divorce, but are working on it. I’ve moved out of the house we shared (which is owned by my family), and have given my wife the space to live in with our eight-month-old daughter. The problem is, she refuses to allow me to visit my daughter at the house, and won’t even let me take her back to my parent’s house (where I am currently living). I think this is absurd, and while I’m not sure about this, I don’t think she has the right to deny me my rights to my child, does she? What are my options?

Dear Reader, The end of a relationship is always painful – both to watch and experience.

Memories, shared experiences, smiles and laughter all disappear to the wings, while vengeance and retaliation move centre stage. This is a family issue. Your wife is denying you visitation rights to your eight-month-old daughter. You mentioned that you and your wife are separated but not yet divorced and are “working” towards it. My advice: try to patch things up with your wife. You failed to mention the reason for the imminent divorce. If it’s a silly reason which made you two fall out, the best

solution for you both is to try and “fix” what you have. After all, the welfare of your child is in question here. And speaking of your daughter’s welfare, this will be the primary objective of the court when determining who will gain custody of your child. Legally, upon divorce, one parent (usually the mother) gains custody while the other parent (usually the father) gets visitation rights.

Of course, we have to consider that every case is different and the same principles will not always apply. For example, if the fallout between you both is because the child’s mother is a heavy drinker and unable to look after herself, much less her child, it is quite

likely that the court will grant your application for custody. Similarly, if you are at fault and may have dabbled with adultery, the mother will successfully gain custody. Therefore, more details are required before a comprehensive conclusion can be provided. One thing I can say for certain though: divorce or reconciliation, I advise speedy implementation in order to set down concrete boundaries. For the time being, your wife cannot legally deny you visitation rights, but you cannot legally force her to let you see your child unless a divorce is final and the custody issue is decided by the court. n

2

I have been working at an MNC for the last 10 years and have been saving up every penny that I can. My father passed away last year and he left me with a reasonable amount of funds. This, combined with my savings, has finally given me the required financial start-up that will enable me to do what I always wanted – kick start my own business. I always thought about flying solo and starting my business under sole proprietorship, but my friends think I should start my business as a partnership. A few of them are even interested in investing. Which option would be better for me? Also, is there any difference in the registration formalities between a sole proprietorship and partnership? As part of a partnership, will my liabilities be limited?

Dear Reader, Firstly, kudos to you for finally taking the initiative to start your own business. It takes courage, determination and endless hours of hard work, but when it finally does work out, nothing can beat that feeling. Now let’s get to the nitty-gritty – which business structure is best for you? You mentioned considering sole proprietorship and partnership.

In sole proprietorship, the owner is essentially the business. To put it simply, the proprietor takes all risks and bears unlimited liability. All the laws applicable to an individual would, in all likelihood, be applicable to a sole proprietorship. In a partnership, the rights and liabilities are shared.

The registration formalities are essentially the same for both. Both

Rio Shuvo/Dhaka Tribune

W E E K E N D TRIBUNE F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 1 4 , 2014

require a Trade Licence from relevant local government bodies, a Taxpayer’s Identification Number (TIN), VAT registration (if applicable), export/ import certificate (if applicable), licence/permission from authorities according to the nature of the business, a bank account, Membership of Trade Body, etc. In a partnership, you will also require the Deed of Partnership and Minutes of the Partners’ Meeting. You may also register the partnership at the Registrar of Joint Stock Companies (RJSC). The best form of partnership will probably be a limited liability partnership, but in Bangladesh, a limited partnership firm is not realistic. In conclusion, you may want to look into other options apart from just sole proprietorship and partnership, i.e. setting up a company, etc. n

Crime File

25

love offences

In the name of love

Adil Sakhawat flashes back on the romance-related felonies that failed to make the headlines

They say the power of love transcends time, history and borders. But, it can also bring you a world of grief if you fall in love with the wrong person. People have died in the hands of their beloved due to several reasons – cheating, misunderstanding, greed, family in the way, etc. Let us go back to three such crimes of passion that did not get as much attention as they should have.

Love together, die together ... or not

Love misplaced

This is not exactly a crime, but it certainly deserves a mention here. A teenage couple, named Ehsanul Haq Tanmoy and Meherin Rahman Meem, threw themselves off a bridge in the capital’s Hatirjheel area on January 3, hoping to die together. Meem survived, but Tanmoy was not so lucky. According to police reports as well as their families, Tanmoy and Meem were both Class X students at Prabhati High School in Moghbazar, and had been dating for a year prior to Tanmoy’s death.

“Also, they did not know how to swim,” said MA Jalil, officer in-charge at Badda police station.

In her statement, Meem said her parents had decided to marry her off to a businessman and the wedding date was set on January 10, so Tanmoy and she had decided to commit suicide.

Mahbub Rahman, Tanmoy’s uncle, said the teenagers had been missing since January 2 afternoon. A general diary was filed with Ramna police station when they did not return home.

A witness, Md Sani, said he had seen both of them jump from a bridge in Hatirjheel at 5:30am on January 3. Local people succeeded in saving Meem, but Tanmoy died immediately. His body was later recovered by the police and sent away for autopsy.

Meem was detained and sent to court on the basis of persuading her boyfriend to commit suicide, as MA Jalil stated. Tanmoy’s death was filed as unnatural death at the police station.

Juhura Khatun (20) from Naogaon was romantically involved with Rabiul Alam (24), from Naogaon as well. She dreamed of marrying the love of her life and having her own happily ever after. Little did she know that it was death that was waiting for her.

During their one-year relationship Rabiul tried to get physically involved with Juhura several times, but Juhura refused to comply every time and asked him to marry her instead.

Juhura’s family was not happy with their relationship, as Juhura’s father Tomij Uddin knew Rabiul’s drug addiction.

On November 10, 2012, Rabiul called Juhura and asked her come over to his house, promising her that they were going to get married that day. Ecstatic that her dream was coming true, Juhura went to his place right away, where she was raped and poisoned by him. When she fell unconscious, Rabiul took her to the local hospital and later informed her family. Juhura died two days later.

Tomij Uddin filed a case accusing Rabiul of murder at Naogaon judge court on November 14. Unfortunately, the police have yet to make any arrest, as Rabiul and his family moved away immediately after the incident. n

Adil Sakhawat wanted to be in the army, but failing that, fights crime by reporting on it. Send him information at weekend@ dhakatribune.com

Cheated by love Shahjahan Rasel (26), a businessman residing in Tilagar, Sylhet, was allegedly tortured by his girlfriend Sukria Akhter Chowdhury, in her residence at Rainagar, on November 24 last year. According to the police, Sukria invited Rasel to her house, where she and her friends had planned to kill him.

Rasel claimed he loved Sukria a lot and had no idea she was betraying him. They got together over mobile phone conversations, and the relationship spanned over five years.

According to the police report, Sukria had been siphoning off money from Rasel throughout their relationship. She had managed to bag around Tk300,000 and 33.33 grams of gold jewellery. The fall out came when Rasel refused to give her Tk30,000. Angered, Sukria planned to kill him with the help of her friends Juned Ahmod, Kaisan Mahmud Sujon and Kamil Ahmed, and on the day of the incident she asked Rasel to visit her home to ask for her hand in marriage. Rasel immediately started for her house, while he notified his mother and told her to reach her home with sweets. As soon as he reached there, he was attacked by Sukria’s friend with kitchen knives. People from Sukria’s neighbourhood rescued Rasel in a critical condition and sent him to Osmani Medical College and Hospital.

Rasel filed a case against all his attackers with Sylhet Kotowali station on November 29. Akhi Akhter, the officer investigating the case, said all the accused had been arrested.

Photos: Big stock

W E E K E N D TR IBUN E FR I DAY, FE B R UARY 1 4, 20 1 4

26

OBITUARY

A fond farewell

The WT team remembers the lives and works of Fazal Shahabuddin, Shirley Temple Black and Philip Seymour Hoffman In loving memory • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

A selfdestructive maverick Faisal Mahmud

Philip Seymour Hoffman was anything but a healthy person. He was overweight, a chronic smoker, fond of junk food and, above all, a substance abuser.

The last one was what reportedly took his life.

After Hoffman’s untimely death at the age of 46, Aaron Sorkin, an Academy Award winning writer, said in Time magazine: “So it’s in that spirit that I’d like to say this: Phil Hoffman, this kind, decent, magnificent, thunderous actor, who was never outwardly ‘right’ for any role but who completely dominated the real estate upon which every one of his characters walked, did not die from an overdose of heroin – he died from heroin. We should stop implying that if he’d just taken the proper amount then everything would have been fine.”

Hoffman had been clean for 23 years before he fell off the wagon in 2012, first with alcohol, and then with drugs.

Born in Fairport, Rochester, New York, Hoffman was passionate about sports, especially wrestling, in his early years. However, a neck injury in high school put a halt in his future plans in sports. Afterwards, he developed a passion for acting, which led him to obtain BFA from NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts in 1989. He also went to Square Professional Theater School in New York City. He gained expertise in acting by appearing on Broadway, with a short stint on TV, before moving on to the silver screen.

As a character actor, Hoffman was one of the best. He did not cut the traditional figure of a leading man.

Like all artistic geniuses, Hoffman

redefined his art – his real persona disappeared and his characters took over him completely when he was acting. His efforts paid off – among numerous awards were his three Academy Awards nominations in best supporting role category and one win in best actor category.

He may not have been the first character actor to become a star, but he was the most brilliant and unforgettable. n

Death of a star Shah Nahian

W E E K E N D TRIBUNE F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 1 4 , 2014

270 – St Valentine, marking Valentine’s Day (some sources say 269, others 273) 1400 – Richard II, king of England, murdered at age 33 1779 – James Cook, British explorer, killed by the native Hawaiians 1870 – St John Richardson Liddell, American Civil War Confederate General 1894 – Eugene Charles Catalan, Belgian-French mathematician 1949 – Yusuf Salman Yusuf, Iraqi-Assyrian communist leader 1958 – Abdul Rab Nishtar, veteran leader of Pakistan movement 1971 – Seth Holt, director of The Nanny 1975 – Pelham G Wodehouse, English/US writer 1989 – James Bond, American ornithologist 1995 – U nu, prime minister of Myanmar 1996 – Eva Hart, Titanic survivor, at age 90 1999 – Buddy Knox, American singer and songwriter 2003 – Dolly the sheep, first mammal cloned from an adult cell 2005 – Rafik Hariri, Lebanese prime minister and billionaire

Fazal Shahabuddin, one of the pioneers in modern Bangla poetry, died at the age of 78 on February 9.

He was suffering from a number of old age complications.

Born on February 4, 1936, Fazal graduated from then Jagannath College in 1962. He was a journalist and worked at the Dainik Bangla.

He was also an editor of the weekly Sachitra Sandhani and the founding editor of the weekly Bichitra. An avid nature lover and a romantic at heart, Fazal’s prominent books include Trishnar Ognitey Eka (1965), Akankito Sundor (1966), Atotayi Surjasto (1975) and Shannidhyer Artonad (1983). His last published work was Ekjon Kobi Ekaki.

He was awarded with Ekushey Padak in 1988 and Bangla Academy Award in 1973 for his contribution to Bangla literature. n

A quiet departure Farhana Urmee

A star by the age of 10, Shirley Temple Black was the most famous child artiste in the 1930s. Born Shirley Temple in Santa Monica, California on April 23, 1928, she had a colourful life, being an actress, singer, dancer and, later, a public servant.

Winner of a special juvenile Oscar, her stardom slowly burned out at the age of 12. She was the victim of a typecast as her six year old self – the sweet innocent girl who everyone wanted as their daughter – and her career slowly came to an end. Although she appeared in films from time to time, she officially retired in 1950.

In 1945, she married an army physical training instructor, John Agar, and had a daughter. That union lasted for just four years. Later, she went on to marry Charles Black, a wealthy businessman from San Francisco and disappeared from the scene for almost 20 years.

Temple later returned to the public sphere in 1967 as a Republican candidate for Congress. Though defeated in the following election, she continued to work for the party and after Richard Nixon became president, he awarded her with an appointment to the American delegation to the United Nations.

During 1974, however, President Ford appointed her as the ambassador to Ghana, and eventually George HW Bush appointed her as ambassador to Czechoslovakia.

Temple quickly gained popularity because of her hard work and charm and went on to being the first woman Chief of Protocol with the rank of Ambassador, but left office just six months later after Jimmy Carter became president.

Temple lives on through her children Susan, Charlie Jr and Lori, granddaughter Tresa and greatgranddaughter Lily and Emma. n

27

The Way

Dhaka

Was Teacher Student Centre, DU Bangladesh Old Photo Archive

Date Unknown

My first two weeks at DU were spent at TSC. In fact, everyone in my year spent their first few weeks at TSC, because it was the perfect place to get familiarised with DU’s atmosphere. Never in my life had I seen such a diverse community before, and it was a heady experience. I switched departments two weeks after classes started, and my workload increased, so I never really managed to spend as much time there as before, which I still regret. I do believe that TSC is an integral part of the DU experience. Every new student should make a point to spend some time there; you’ll be coming back from TSC with an experience you can never find anywhere else.

Chanchal Kamal

Today

Fatema Tuz Zohora Shamsunnahar Hall, DU

W E E K E N D TR IBUN E FR I DAY, FE B R UARY 1 4, 20 1 4

28 Farhana Urmee is a forgetful journalist who is very serious about taking her notes, because without those she is of no use

Farhana Urmee

Falling apart The dissolution of the nuclear family

I

t’s 7pm and the husband comes home from work - a spotless home. His wife has done her best to ensure his comfort. Their fiveyear-old boy is watching television loudly, and after a hectic day at work, the father feels annoyed. He starts shouting at his wife. A trifling matter turns into a fight between them, ending in the blame game.

The husband wins. His wife has apparently failed in raising their child well. Tired of fighting, he ends the fight by beating his wife into silence.

He’s now angry about all her “mistakes,” especially the one where her father did not provide her husband with the promised financial support. They did not call it a dowry. It wasn’t a price tag.

Rather, it was supposed to be a gift, just some support to ensure a good life for his daughter. Imagine such a scene. Bet it’s not that hard, is it? That’s because these disputes commonly occur in many houses, between many couples. And it often leads to divorce.

There might be thousands of reasons for a couple to get a divorce.

Their decision to work out a legal termination of their marriage should be respected rather than being criticised or ridiculed. The choice of a divorce as the solution to matrimonial complications is not a denial of the meaning of marriage.

These people have not taken the marriage as merely a burden of responsibility thrust upon them. It is very real to them and their problems are, perhaps, of a magnitude that they can no longer handle. Faking a relationship for the sake of society can never be a good solution.

When women work and have a higher income than their partners, the egos of men hinder the smooth continuation of their marriages

W E E K E N D TRIBUNE F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 1 4 , 2014

Why split up?

Divorce in our society happens for many reasons, ranging from dowry-related problems to domestic violence. Both are the result of extreme exercising of power by men in a patriarchal society.

In our urban, educated society, the rule of patriarchy prevails if the woman gets promotions at work, is career oriented or aspires for a better future. The man tends to bind the woman with conventional gender roles like supervising households and raising children, and that too with little to no help from the man.

If women tire of these limitations, it should be understandable not only to other women, but to society as a whole. Yet, that is rarely the case.

Most couples on the verge of getting divorced often realise that neither wants to face the stigmas of having initiated the split. The fear of familial disapproval (added to that from society) prevails. Thus, many who would prefer a split and would actually benefit from it, remain tethered to each other, piling on emotional (and sometimes physical) damage on each other.

When couples do muster up the courage and resolve to get a divorce, there are a whole host of other problems. Men who think that their wife’s asking for a divorce will relieve them of any financial obligations towards her, are just plain wrong.

The biggest legal problem that very few couples consider at the on-set is: what will happen to their children?

So what does happen?

Psychologists suggest that even after dating a person for a couple of years, living under the same roof is a different challenge in today’s hectic and overly stressed society. Couples should wait at least two years after their marriage to have kids in order to establish a comfortable, understanding environment between themselves. So what does happen to the children during a divorce? A whole lot of emotional stress, trauma, and often complete alienation from both parents.

No matter who gets custody, the children always lose out.

In addition, divorce, very literally, is the end of the dreams and promises of two people who once thought

about living together and being by each other’s side in whatever life would bring to them. This shattered dream is articulated in the legal documents of the divorce. It leaves them facing the hard times ahead: surviving the pains of separation, of the legal struggle, of having the paper work done and of striving for social acceptance.

And then there is the economic shock. The cost of living for an individual is way more than that of a couple. Moreover, the law decrees financial compensation (usually in favour of the woman), and this too impacts the financial stability of the couples.

Individual, not nuclear

Civilisation has invented marriage as the best solution to have faithful companionship for life, to start families by having kids and thus to survive for generations. That is why society demands effort to be provided equally and adequately by both parties. It is also why it dislikes the idea of the dissolution of the nuclear family. If people thought individually, then they might not want to get married. Without marriage and families, we could be facing an extinction of our kind.

What is a marriage, really? At its core, it is the co-dependency of two people born of an emotional, mental and/or physical connection. The indisputable thing is, both parties in the marriage are dependent on each other in a number of ways.

The split between them is simply the realisation that dependence is no longer necessary. It is very rarely the loss of “love” and not necessarily the result of an affair, which are the most common assumptions. Ending a marriage denotes the end of mutual dependence, and the rebirth of an independent individual.

The individual always has more options and fewer responsibilities.

Taking a decision is as simple as asking what “I” want, rather than what “we” want. This enables people to progress: they do more and achieve more. In our society, as empowerment of women increases, they are more educated, more visible in the workforce, and better able to support an individual existence. No longer do they have to be bound

Letting the other partner initiate the divorce allows them to blame their partners for the marriage not working out by social diktats like managing a household or raising children. It becomes an option for them, and not a definite.

Again, if divorce ensures a decrease in the demand for dowries or domestic violence, then it should be considered a positive, right? People should not be required to remain bound by a dissolving marriage for the sake of conventional conservativeness. They should not fear to speak out their problems. Neither party should feel oppressed and pressurised. They should have the option of choosing to be a unit, or continuing their lives as individuals.

So why not?

If the holy bond is respected, the relationship is nurtured and both share roles and responsibilities, disputes will never occur. But times have changed and so have the patterns of human relationships.

We are living in a society where responsibilities and roles are determined by gender. The union of two people faces a complex concoction of gender roles, economic empowerment and societal approval. A marriage cannot be sustained when the entire burden of loving, caring, nurturing, compromising, and tolerating falls on the shoulders of the woman.

Reasons for divorce span a range: cheating spouses, career rivalries, inequalities in income or simply the death of love. The problems are numerous. But before criticising, realise that if problems aren’t voiced, they won’t be solved. And some problems simply cannot be solved. Divorce, therefore, might just be a pretty good solution. n

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