DHAIRYAM July 2021

Content DHAIRYAM

Features Inside 03 A Note From The Editor 04 Job Vs Masters Degree 09 United We Stand 11

Guide To HR Interviews

12

Studying While Working Full-time

15

Mom At Work

17

Here’s How To Deal With Parental Pressure

18

Must-Try Method To Clear Competitive Exams

06 Cover Story Start Your First Job In The Best Way

INSIDE

Preparing for your first day of professional life can make you nervous. So follow these top tips to start your work life in the best way. Many MNCs conduct behavioural training that covers some of these aspects. However, some of these tips are to be found only from trusted seniors!

A Note From The Editor New Beginnings ‘Guide To HR Interviews’ will enable you to do well if you are looking for a job now.

Some of you are working a full-time job and also studying to appear for certifications or other exams. ‘Studying While Working Full-time’ is just the right article for managing your energy levels, which allows you to increase your productivity and reach your short-term goals on time.

‘Must-Try Method To Clear Competitive Exams’ provides you with practical tips to help your preparation for exams like GATE or UPSC. ‘Here’s How To Deal With Parental Pressure’ enables you to communicate better with your parents and deal with pressure constructively.

‘United We Stand’ is our fictional series about one woman’s journey to return to her work from a maternity break.

Finally, “Mom At Work” details a software engineer mother’s experience working from home, multitasking childcare and office work.

Dear Readers, Welcome to the exciting first issue of DHAIRYAM! We begin our monthly magazine dedicated to women’s careers, just when fresh graduates are getting hired to start their professional journey.

It is the month of July, and the atmosphere is of recruitment, interviews and job offers. So we begin our journey together, and it is exciting for us just as it is exciting for you.

We have brought you our cover story, ‘Start Your First Job in The Best Way’, with inside tips on continuing in the workforce. Did you know that almost 1 in 4 women in most Indian cities are not working? In Bangalore alone, 30 lakh out of 40 lakh women are not working. Only ten countries in the world have a lower female labour force participation rate than India. By just being aware that most women leave the workforce by age 25, you can be better prepared to plan your career.

The article ‘Job Vs Masters Degree: Which One Is Right For You Now?’ is aimed to help you decide the future path that is best for you, based on your preferences.

DHAIRYAM JULY 2021

धीराः शोकं तिरष्यिन्त लभन्ते िसिद्धमुत्तमं | धीरैः सं प्राप्यते लक्ष्मी धैयर्ं सवर्त्र साधनम् || Dheeraah shokam tarishyanti, labhante siddhimuttamam Dheeraih samprapyate lakshmi dhairyam sarvatra saadhanam Brave people overcome immense grief and achieve great success in their life, leading to wealth and prosperity. Courage is the best means of achieving success in any field.

We hope you enjoy reading this first issue.

Please email your suggestions or questions to feedback.dhairyam@gmail.com We love to hear your feedback, and we strive to make DHAIRYAM magazine better for you. We are also looking for submissions from readers on topics related to Indian women’s jobs and careers.

Please join our Telegram channel here: t.me/DHAIRYAM_magazine Believing in you that you will realise your full potential,

PAGE 03

Job Vs Masters Degree Which One Is Right For You Now?

By S.G. Prema

It is the time of the year when companies are hiring many fresh engineers by campus recruitment. Congratulations!

You’ve done well!

This situation is also causing some confusion among young engineers. The reason being that they have multiple job offers and are also considering doing a masters degree. The factors confusing the students are discussed one by one as below: MNC Brand recognition No risk Facilities (transportation, Provident Fund, canteen etc.)

Startup Faster growth Learn end to end Stock options Multi-National Companies (MNCs) are well-known companies, making it easier to change jobs when deciding to leave the company after a few years. A career in an MNC is considered safe and secure, with minimal risk. There is convenience due to facilities like bus/cab service , canteen etc.

DHAIRYAM JULY 2021

Startups have very few employees. Working in a startup provides the opportunity to learn across teams.

There is more client interaction. Some startups offer equity in the company.

Since the learning curve is steep in small groups, the growth is a lot faster than in MNCs. The downside is that startups with less than ten employees are not eligible for Provident Fund (PF). You have to arrange your own transportation, which may be challenging when you have to reach early or leave late from the office. Not having a canteen makes it tough on the days that you are not able to cook. Despite these downsides, working in a startup is an excellent opportunity for people passionate about new technology, entrepreneurship and becoming a CXO someday.

PRODUCT Develop products Selective recruitment Flexible working hours More learning opportunities

SERVICE Develop features and provide maintenance of services.

Mass hiring Long working hours Restricted scope Product companies generally offer more learning opportunities. In service companies, the number of employees is enormous.

Initial allotment to software technologies is random, and then you will continue working on the same technology and role even when you change companies.

MS after B.E Easy to continue the study mindset MS after work experience Work experience is an advantage

Experience gives clarity on the field of specialisation

PAGE 04

Regarding doing your masters degree, the confusion is whether to do M.S soon after B.E. or go ahead with the job offer.

You do not have to choose one or the other when you gain some experience and then go for masters. It has its advantages, but it is not an easy path. Working 40 hours a week and still having the energy to study for entrance exams requires strong determination. Please refer to the article on managing your energy on Page 12.

Go for masters immediately if:

Go for a job if:

You think you will not be able to dedicate time and energy to study along with the demands of working a full-time job.

You need to make some savings before you think of further education.

You are not clear about your stream of specialisation.

You think that the work experience will increase your chances of getting selected in your favourite college/university.

One size fits all approach cannot give an answer to the question, “Should you do a masters degree immediately after B.E. or after getting a few years of work experience?” It depends on your determination.

Spend some time writing down your reasons. You can be old fashioned and use a pen and paper, or you can type your notes digitally. But putting your thoughts out is better than silently brooding in circles alone. Compare your notes and see which factors have more weightage on the long term outcomes that you want to achieve.

This comprehensive comparison between the various options ahead of you would have cleared your confusion. Please let us know your feedback by writing to

feedback.dhairyam@gmail.com.

DHAIRYAM JULY 2021

PAGE 05

Start Your

FIRST JOB IN THE Best Way

By Suchitra Hegde

Preparing for your first day of professional life can make you nervous. So follow these top tips to start your work life in the best way. Many MNCs conduct behavioural training that covers some of these aspects. However, some of these tips are to be found only from trusted seniors!

Communicate with everyone

Look beyond coding

In your professional life, you need to talk to everyone. You may be in your comfort zone of a small group of friends during your college years. Student life is more on the carefree side.

On the contrary, there is no difference between a trainee or a manager.

For core branch engineering students, coding is a subject only during the first year of college. There is usually a three-month training when you join as a software engineer fresher. You learn the basics of coding in the first month. After that, companies generally train newly hired engineers in different software technologies for the next two months.

You address your seniors by their first name and not as “Sir” or “Madam”. Yet, you cannot have a casual attitude. Never gossip about your colleagues.

Watch what you say and how you say it.

DHAIRYAM JULY 2021

The assignment is random, and it does not matter whether you are from a computer science background or core branches.

After one year, the playing field is level, irrespective of your engineering background. The things that matter the most are your communication, time management, owning responsibility for your work, and taking the lead.

Be tactful Akshata (name changed), a software engineer in a mass hiring MNC, says that her lead used to take credit for her work.

She observed this a couple of times and then began to email status updates of her work to her team lead and manager before they got a chance to ask her about it.

Start Your

FIRST JOB IN THE Best Way

PAGE 06

Conserve time When work is assigned, if someone completes it too quickly, then even more work is assigned to them over and over. In future, even if the assigned work needs more time, the expectation is set to deliver quickly. Therefore, take sufficient time to complete work as per expected quality.

Manage expectations If your lead or manager gives you work that has unrealistic expectations, let them know as early as possible. Do not wait till the last minute. Instead, inform them that you need more time. If that is not possible, you can ask for more resources, i.e. team members, to complete the assigned tasks.

DHAIRYAM JULY 2021

Dress in formal clothes You may be accustomed to wearing jeans in college. But that is not formal clothes.

So what are formal clothes?

Any attire where the threads in the seams are visible is casual clothing.

Dresses that have flashy colours, shiny sequins, bold prints are not formal. Pinstripes are okay. But checks are not formal.

When in doubt, such as an important client meeting or a presentation, a white shirt and black pants are the best options. White, black and blue are safe colours.

In India, salwar kameez is formal too. Women wear knee-length kurta with leggings.

Some companies allow semi-formal/casual Fridays.

You can check with your HR about the dress code.

Not just your clothes, but your accessories need to be formal too. Do not wear flashy dangling earrings or other flashy jewellery. Studs for earrings, thin neck chains are good. Check your company intranet or contact HR for the guidelines.

Start Your

FIRST JOB IN THE Best Way

PAGE 07

Learn email etiquette

Focus on business formalities Once you are out of college life, you have “colleagues” and not “friends”. Do not make jokes at someone even if you are on good terms with them.

It is crucial if you are assuming about race, culture, gender or age.

With remote work becoming the new norm, written communication has increased considerably. It includes email, messages and so on.

Check your grammar and spelling before you hit the send button.

You need prior permission if you are applying for leave. If this is an emergency, you can call your lead/manager and inform them. But if it is an extended leave of more than two days, you need to give sufficient notice. Taking sick leave often may lead to enquiry.

If you misuse it, there may be disciplinary action too.

If your lead rejects your leave application, do not override their authority and ask your manager. Your reason may seem important to you. But bypassing your seniors is unprofessional.

Reach your workplace on time always. Do not take breaks that are longer than necessary. For example, most companies give a half-hour lunch break and two 15-minute coffee breaks.

These tips have prepared you to navigate your work life with confidence. Good luck!

When you address an email to someone for the first time, you can say Dear [First name] or Hello [First name]. If you know them well, you can address them as Hi [First name]. In most corporate companies, you need not be too formal and address them by their second name.

Use simple sentences. Write in paragraphs of about 3-5 sentences.

It is good practice to start with a “Thank you for [something]”.

Then, when you request a favour or say sorry, begin your email on a positive note.

End your email with “Regards [your name]”. Then, follow the company format for the email signature with your contact details. The disclaimer present at the end of your email protects you if someone forwards your confidential emails and you get caught in a legal issue.

DHAIRYAM JULY 2021

PAGE 08

United We Stand Fiction Series: Episode 1: Gowri finds a new friend

Gowri was startled from the loud cry of her firstborn, Bharat, who had seemingly tripped on a toy truck and fell hard on the floor—as the frantic mother concluded based on the big bump on the baby’s forehead.

On that morning in April 2020, spring had already made its appearance in Hanover, Germany. The days were getting longer, and the weather was warming up. Gowri sweated from nervousness. Lately, she had nothing to do other than follow Bharat around—ensuring to keep him safe. She had wanted to apply for job openings again, but there was no company taking her due to the three-year break that she took from her career. The side-by-side bankruptcies amid COVID-19 added to her difficulties.

“Bharat, please sit first,” the struggling mother exclaimed after running to save the one-and-a-half-year-old boy from yet another fall. Gowri rested her neck on the couch when her phone rang loudly.

On the screen was a reminder in big letters: “CAREER MEETING.” Because of balancing household chores and scouting for jobs, Gowri sighed in exasperation—unwitting of the blessing that was about to shower her.

DHAIRYAM JULY 2021

She rushed to put Bharat in his crib and played a lullaby through the mini speakers.

Gowri, with eyes and heart heavy, managed to let out a smile after noticing that her son grew almost the same as the width of the furniture. “Time truly flies fast,” she whispered before kissing Bharat’s soft cheek and getting her laptop.

In exchange for the session, Dhruti asked for no cash value in return but a mere recommendation letter to boost her future. Of course, Gowri agreed—aware of how tiring the pandemic had been so far for everyone; she wanted to return all favours even when the world gave her none since.

Without brushing her hair and putting light makeup on, Gowri joined the conference call with an aspiring career counsellor and her father’s student, Dhruti.

Before she had a child, Gowri always ensured that she would look presentable and elegant in every social encounter. It was one of the things that hands-on mothers did not have the luxury of time doing. It was a good thing that Dhruti did not give her a judging look when the meeting commenced.

“Hi there, Gowri, and thank you very much for your support,” Dhruti jovially opened to have a more comfortable ambience for both of them. “How is your child?”

That very day, the two women had set up a video call to talk about Gowri’s social profiles —particularly LinkedIn—and review how she could improve its overall appeal to attract potential employers. Initially, she was highly unsure why Dhruti would help her with such a comprehensive thing; however, it turned out that the latter would benefit and expand her connections as a career counsellor.

Immediately feeling at ease with Dhruti, Gowri unexpectedly shared about the obstacles she recently faced. “Everything is fine, with him growing up so quickly. I run around the house all day, chasing Bharat, while still being in charge of the cooking, cleaning, and all else!” she expressed with eyes more tired than usual.

Their connection was rather beautiful, like that of old friends, even though they had not personally seen each other yet. They lived thousands of miles apart—with Gowri based in Hanover, Germany and Dhruti in Bangalore, India.

PAGE 09

“Do not worry; I will not take up much of your time. We will just discuss for at most an hour!” Dhruti said in assurance.

“That’s a relief! My husband is in an official meeting,” replied Gowri, “If you don’t mind, I might disappear here and there to check on my baby.”

“Feel free to have your kid with you! I am pretty sure my son will be making noise in the background, too, as he had just learned how to play the guitar funnily,’” stated Dhruti—hoping that the four-year-old Kumar would keep quiet while she browsed through Gowri’s page.

The aspiring career counsellor found that Gowri had such remarkable achievements as a mechanical engineer who attained her Master of Science degree in lean production in Germany. Sadly, Gowri was out of employment for a few years, so she had no clue about what was going on in her fields at present.

However, that was not a hindrance for Dhruti because she committed to bringing Gowri back into her passions.

Before the meeting, she worked tirelessly to familiarise herself with returner programs in

Europe whereby she discovered ‘Women Returners,’ a network based in the United Kingdom.

“I’m so sorry if I don’t have many credentials up on my page. It’s been so long since my last work experience,” Gowri shyly apologised, “but I want a job now.”

“I understand what you mean, and don’t be apologetic.

Rather, let us be hopeful!”

Dhruti said with a smile as she posted a question on TechLadies. It was a Facebook group that the counsellor believed could assist substantially with Gowri’s requests—given that the members were women in the same career path as the client.

“Thank you, Dhruti. You don’t know how much those words mean to me,” Gowri responded, and, as if on cue, Bharat cried, “Please excuse me. I’ll just get my son.”

Gowri almost tripped on the same toy truck as she ran to Bharat. When she saw that the infant was awake and seemingly lonely, the caring mother decided to take him with her to the meeting.

optimisation /lean engineer/ continuous improvement/ change management professionals here? I want to ask a question. Can I message you?” She almost clapped in delight because she could see hope for Gowri’s transition towards returning.

“I see you’re back!” Dhruti gladly expressed. “Do you have anything in particular that you want to mention so that people can help understand what exactly you’re looking for?”

“To be honest, I am very flexible with my job location. Any city in Germany is good because my husband is ready to relocate for whatever new job I land,” explained Gowri, “He’s just as excited for me to pursue my dreams!”

Little did Gowri know, that day would bring her a step closer to the success she had been chasing for years. While rocking Bharat with one arm, she eagerly engaged in the hour-long conversation she shared with a new friend, Dhruti. (to be continued)

Meanwhile, Dhruti had received several comments on her post, which stated: “Any process

Complimentary 1-hour

CAREER COACHING FOR INDIAN WOMEN! Book your appointment now WhatsApp +91-9886401492 DHAIRYAM JULY 2021

PAGE 10

Guide To HR Interviews

By S.G. Prema

If you are studying B.E., this is the campus recruitment period for third and final-year students. A lot of you might have cleared the written rounds and interviews in technical rounds. Then comes the final round of the HR interview.

A lot of you may say that the HR interview is just a formality.

But what about the students rejected in the HR interview? It is disheartening. You do not get feedback, and you do not know where you went wrong.

Do not be hard on yourselves.

Your technical and aptitude rounds went well if you have reached this far. Therefore, do not question your skills.

There are two main pitfalls that you need to be aware of: 1) Do not talk about a Master’s degree

Companies hire expensive trainers to provide technical and, in many cases, even behavioural training. They need to be sure that they can recover those costs. They need to know that you will not quit within a couple of years. Even if you mention that you will do masters after completing your bond term, what guarantee does the company have that you will not change your mind later?

Do not obsess on a particular role Many mass hiring companies that come for campus recruitment allot freshers randomly into different software technologies.

The development/testing/ production role you are assigned is often dependent upon your performance in the initial few months of technical training. After your company allocates you a profile, they do not generally give feedback about the reason for it.

By mentioning in your HR interview that you want to be a software developer, you are implying that you will be upset and may leave the company if you are assigned testing or production/maintenance support roles.

You did not learn to walk on your first attempt. As a baby, if you can get back up and start walking again, why not have the same confidence as a grown-up? Just practice with mock interviews, and you will do great the next time.

2) Do not obsess on a particular role

Avoid discussing a Master’s degree Companies spend a lot on training freshers. Your contribution to the company is not significant from the first day of your job.

DHAIRYAM JULY 2021

PAGE 11

Studying While Working Full-time CASE STUDY

By Suchitra Hegde

Challenge

Watch what you eat

Drink enough water Tanya monitored the number of glasses of water she was drinking and compared it with the required amount for her body weight. She consumed water-rich foods like fruits, cucumber and salads to keep her fresh for longer.

Tanya found a calorie calculator online that tells the number of calories needed for a person based on their age, gender, height, weight, and exercise amount in a week.

Tanya has been working in a full-time job as a Business Developer for a year. She is preparing to appear for her AWS certification exam in six months. Her concern was that she could only reschedule the exam twice, and with the number of hours she is studying now, she will not be able to complete the 300-hour course in six months.

Tanya realised that if her actual calorie intake per day was lower than the recommended intake, she would feel tired.

Exercise

Tanya wanted to study every day. But in the evenings, after completing her work, she felt physically exhausted. During weekends, Tanya just wanted to sleep. She wanted to know how to manage her time better.

Solution Tanya learned that time management is all about managing your energy. So she followed these tips for energy management:

DHAIRYAM JULY 2021

When she felt like snacking, she chose water-rich foods instead of biscuits or chips. She made fresh fruit juices instead of drinking bottled juices that have too much sugar.

Not just the total calories, but the type of food she got it from is equally important too. She checked the grams of protein needed for her body weight.

She learned that an excess of carbohydrates and fatty foods makes her sluggish.

Tanya worked from 11 AM to 9 PM. She woke up at 10 AM and completed her cardio workout before logging in for work. She changed her cardio workout schedule to 9 PM, when she would be tired anyway. It freed up time in the morning when she was well-rested and focused on her studies better.

PAGE 12

Meditate or listen to music

Front-load your day

Apart from the points mentioned above, Tanya prepared a plan to achieve her six-month goal.

She was studying 5 hours a week. She realised that she certainly could not complete a 300-hour course in 24-weeks at this rate. So she calculated that she needed 14 hours a week, accounting for some contingencies.

Tanya meditated every day to remove her stress. She also loved to listen to motivational music. In addition, she often added change by listening to relaxing music like water flowing, ocean waves or instrumental music so that her routine did not become monotonous.

Connect with nature

Measure often

Tanya practised doing the most important and most difficult tasks first thing in the morning. Then, she studied when she was not already tired from the whole day’s work.

She became aware that she cannot measure her progress as a one-time activity at the end of the timeline. It had to be ongoing, and she did it every single day.

She learned that greenery makes people relax and feel energised. She was not much of a nature person, but she knew that she could look at the green leaves or flowers or touch the plants if she wanted to.

She modelled her studies after most CEOs, who wake up at 4 AM and complete their daily workout by 5 AM before the rest of the world has even woken up.

At the end of the available time, if she realised that she missed her target, there would be no point. But if she knew every day whether or not her efforts are enough, she could make appropriate corrections on time. She could modify her approach when she still had time. This way, there would be no unpleasant surprises in the end.

Build up your pace She gave herself three weeks to reach the level of studying 14 hours a week. Her plan is as below:

Monday-Friday

Saturday

Sunday

Total per week

1st week

Half-hour per day

Rest day

2.5 hours

5 hours

2nd week

One hour per day

Rest day

3 hours

8 hours

3rd week

Two hours per day

Rest day

4 hours

14 hours

DHAIRYAM JULY 2021

PAGE 13

Celebrate every achievement “What we appreciate, appreciates” - Tanya learned to be grateful for things whose value she wanted to increase as time goes by. So she began celebrating every small achievement. It motivated her to do more the next day.

She stopped focusing on her negatives, complaining and being hard on herself since these would prevent her from achieving long-term success.

She had a calendar on her wall that showed the dates in big, bold numbers. She gave herself a gold star sticker every time she completed her daily goal.

When she looked at her calendar, all the gold stars in that month motivated her to increase her efforts.

She did a victory dance. It was nothing like a stage performance. It was just something she did when she was alone. Nobody watched her, but she thought of the famous athletes who did a victory lap around the stadium to celebrate their win.

She made phone calls to her friends/family. These were not long conversations; instead, these were quick calls to let them know that she was celebrating her achievement.

Her happiness increased when she shared it with her loved ones. They continued to ask her about this, and she felt more accountable because of it.

Some ways that she DID NOT celebrate are: Eating ice cream or chocolate would make her feel slow the next day. She did not indulge in activities that made her lose

momentum. When she felt compelled to celebrate by eating, she ate dry fruits or made herself a healthy salad.

Watching a movie was not suitable for celebrating either.

When Tanya studied for a half-hour more than usual, she did not celebrate by watching a three-hour movie!

She was mindful of the effect that her celebration would have on her in the next few days. So she always chose ways that made her more energetic and helped her with her progress. If her celebration slowed her down, it would be like one step forward, two steps backwards.

Benefits Tanya implemented the strategies for energy management. She was not so tired anymore. What she studied stayed fresh in her mind for longer. She felt more productive.

Anything worth achieving is worth measuring. Tanya’s goal plan helped her measure and tracked her progress. She felt great to think that she had accomplished her daily goals before her teammates logged in for work every morning.

Tanya was well on her way toward her six-month professional development goal of completing the AWS certification with these techniques.

If you liked this Case Study, please let us know by emailing: feedback.dhairyam@gmail.com.

DHAIRYAM JULY 2021

PAGE 14

Mom At Work

By Supritha S.S. I took my chance to mute myself and yelled at her, “I have a meeting! Go out and play with your grandparents next door.” It fell on deaf ears, and she continued what she was doing. I had to unmute myself to continue the discussion. Half my mind was racing at work, and the other half said that she is up to some mischief and I must take care of her.

When my three-year-old daughter, Aadya, is at home, I have a story to tell every day.

The whole house is her playground, and anything in her reach goes for a toss. Most of the time, the home is like a market. No matter how much I take care, she finds a way for her mischief.

It was a busy Monday morning. As usual, Mondays were a bit slow yet hectic, as I needed time to come out of the weekend mood. I had completed cooking, cleaning, bathing her, and setting up to start my work for the day. I saw that there were many issues to be addressed and several pending items. It was going to be a busy day.

I was in a critical discussion with my team-lead when Aadya suddenly entered the room. Once she was within sight, half of my attention spontaneously went to her. She walked to the metal cupboard where I had kept the shampoo, talcum powder, and other toiletries. She slowly climbed up the stand and opened the wardrobe, searching for something inside it.

DHAIRYAM JULY 2021

Within a couple of seconds, I heard a noise and turned around to see that her hands were white, completely covered with foam, and she was rubbing her hands to get more of it! It had started to drip over on the floor next to the bed.

When she saw me looking at her, she ran to the other side, saying, “Mommy! Look, I got shampoo! See how many bubbles are coming, just like you told me the ‘Bunty Bubble’ story!”

She was moving around, making the foam fall on the floor everywhere. Now I had no choice. I quickly informed my team-lead about her, took an excuse for a break, and rushed towards her.

Seeing me coming, she ran out. I ran behind her to catch hold of her, took her to the washroom and washed her hands. She had used almost one-fourth of the bottle of the shampoo, and it took me some time to clean it. I scolded her and told her that I am feeling bad. There was not enough time to make her understand. I left her next door at my parents, saying, “Keep an eye on her,” returned to my desk, put the shampoo aside, and continued my meeting.

Once I was done with my discussion, I cleaned the floor where she had spilt the shampoo. I needed to keep the shampoo bottle in a cupboard that she cannot open. Right then, she came asking, “Mommy are you done with the meeting?” Seeing her cute face, half of my anger had already gone. Yet I faked it saying, “I am angry and will not talk. Why did you touch the shampoo when I had told you not to touch anything there?”

She started her usual drama, “Mommy, I will not do this anymore. I will be a good girl from tomorrow. I will not touch anything. Sorry, please.”

Looking at her face and her actions, I said, “This is the last time, don’t do this again.” She agreed, and I hugged her. She smiled and planted a kiss on me. But we both knew inside that this will not be the last time, and the story will continue.

Author bio: Supritha S.S. is a software engineer at Cisco. She has been working for nearly a decade in programming switches for data centres. When she is not working, her preschooler Aadya keeps her on her toes.

PAGE 15

Here’s How To Deal With Parental Pressure

By S.G. Prema A lot of young graduates talk to career counsellors requesting tips on how to deal with parental pressure. What you need to understand is that this is “good pressure”. Your parents love you and want the best for you. All you need to learn is how to manage expectations: theirs and yours.

Imagine that you are a CXO in a corporate company or an administrative officer in civil services. These jobs require you to handle various type of work pressure. Compared to such pressure, dealing with people who have loved you all your life seems easy, doesn’t it?

Now coming to the actual point. Most young women feel pressured in two ways:

Compulsion to perform better in competitive exams Some parents sit with their grown-up children while they study for exams. Young women want to unwind after a tiring day at work. They want to scroll through Instagram or watch a movie on Netflix. But parents remind you that the clock is ticking, and you should be doing something more productive. If you want to relax, they choose the method by suggesting doing yoga or meditation.

It is no fun being told what to do. But due to respect for your parents’ feelings, if you are quiet without communicating your displeasure, they will continue to tell you what to do.

DHAIRYAM JULY 2021

So it is a cycle where you are under more pressure every day, and someday, it may lead to a big fight, with feelings getting hurt on both sides.

It is an excellent idea to let them know how you feel. But you need to take things slow.

Write down with pen and paper or digitally, the words that you will say to them.

Practice saying it. Record yourself on video calling software and watch how you are coming across. Be calm when you talk to them. Watch your facial expressions, body language and voice modulation. Anticipate what questions they might ask and be ready with your responses.

You can explain that you need some time to relax and just do nothing in the evenings. You choose the way you relax. Set boundaries and expectations by communicating that you do not want them to sit with you during social media time or watching a movie. There is another side to this too. You can tell them that you will dedicate some hours every day just to prepare for the exam. During this time they can sit with you.

Demand to get married soon Some young women feel pressured by parents to get married soon. They have dreams of appearing for competitive exams and studying further or becoming a civil service officer to serve the people of our country.

This pressure to get married may cause you to be hard on yourself while preparing for the exam or when you do not do well on the first attempt. Sometimes, you learn and do better in the subsequent attempts. But due to the pressure from family to get married, many young women are not giving themselves sufficient time for a couple of shots at the competitive exams.

You can set expectations with your family that this exam is essential to you, and so you will give yourself a few more years to clear it. You can tell them at what age you plan to get married so that they will not keep asking you the same question every few months.

Instead, if you tell them that you do not want to get married now, you cannot blame them when they bring up the marriage question again in a few weeks. Set the timeline. As mentioned in the previous point, practice being calm when you talk to them. If you anticipate them getting emotional, you can stay calm even when that happens.

Apart from pushing you to perform better and getting married sooner than you want, what other reasons have caused you to be under parental pressure? If this article helped you, let us know by emailing at feedback.dhairyam@gmail.com.

PAGE 16

Must-Try Method To Clear Competitive Exams

By Suchitra Hegde I recommend starting with a topic that is small but has more weightage. In each attempt, aim to score slightly higher than the previous attempt. Every time, pick only one area to improve. Do not make a long list. It will only stress you instead of helping you to improve.

Pratima is preparing for GATE. Sunita is studying to clear UPSC. I’m sure that you are already aware that it takes a lot of commitment to prepare for such competitive exams.

You will certainly NOT get the exact score that you want. But by aiming higher, you will realise your dream even if some things do not go as per your plan.

When you hear the term “studies” or “preparation”, if the image of books come to your mind, then you are sorely mistaken! Yes, you read that right.

Several websites offer mock exams for these competitive exams. Do not glance through questions thinking you know the answers. YOU REALLY DON’T! Unless you take the entire exam in realistic conditions, you will assume that you know the answers when you do not. The topics may seem familiar, but that is fake confidence.

Simply reading theory without putting your learning into practice serves you no good. So, if you appear for the exam once a year, should you waste a year every time practising your knowledge?

Of course NOT! What I’m referring to here are Mock Exams. If you have one year to appear for the exam, I highly recommend taking 365 mock exams! Of course, the first attempt will be terrible, but it is better to be miserable in the mock exam than in the actual.

Don’t you think?

What score do you need to get into your favourite college for M.Tech or to get UPSC interview? Set your real target 5-10% higher than this score.

DHAIRYAM JULY 2021

Set a timer and take the 3-hour exam in realistic conditions without interruptions from phone ringing or your family calling you for dinner. Do not take breaks in between. Complete the mock exam in one stretch.

Do this for each of the 365 mock exams in a year. Then, at the end of the year, the real exam will not stress you because it is like any other day.

For any exam, covering 80% of the syllabus is comparatively easy. It gets tougher to score even 1% more from 80 to 90.

Beyond 90%, even a single mark gets more and more difficult. But nothing is impossible if you only practice.

The determination to take the exam as many times as it takes is helpful in your preparation. Women have the pressure from family to get married soon. If you give yourself just one year to clear the exam, it is an added stress during your preparation period. Give yourself sufficient time. At least a couple of attempts will give you a chance to learn from your past. Remember, the previous attempts at clearing the exams are not “mistakes”; they are “learning”.

Whether you are preparing for a Masters degree or you want to help the people of your country, putting your learning into practice is the best way to ace your exams. All the best!

The first time, it is no surprise that you will get a low score.

Do not worry; this is normal.

Pick just ONE area to improve.

PAGE 17

Suchitra grew up in Bangalore, where she completed her Bachelor of Engineering. She faced gender bias in her career as a software engineer and quit her job. We explore gender discrimination at the workplace in depth in an upcoming issue.

After getting married and moving to Manchester, England, she bought a DSLR camera and joined the Bury Photographic

Society to learn photography. Its members welcomed her with smiling faces and open hearts. She was the only Indian woman there but faced no discrimination of any kind. She gained a lot more than photography skills, and this poem is about her self-discovery in a land far away from home.

CONFIDENCE “You’re brave!” they said, just for walking through the doors “You pick up well,” they said when my photo came first “We missed you,” they said when I was ill They looked at me; I wasn’t invisible They talked to me Not just a girl, not just a housewife, Photographer to photographer I talked. It wasn’t easy But it became easier I found a hobby; I found my passion I found myself five thousand miles from home (Dedicated to all the members of Bury Photographic Society)

DHAIRYAM JULY 2021

PAGE 18

DHAIRYAM is inviting reader submissions

Are you an Indian woman with any career concerns? Write to us!

Email: feedback.dhairyam@gmail.com with the subject line “Career Concerns” Do you have any recent achievements? Share with us to celebrate!

Email: feedback.dhairyam@gmail.com with the subject line “Recent Wins” Please include your Full Name, Photo, and a short introduction paragraph about you with 3-5 lines. By submitting your information, you agree for us to publish it. Please clearly mention in your email if you wish to be anonymous.

Note: We will not be responding to emails unless we require more information.

Join the Telegram group to participate in surveys and contribute to the magazine. https://t.me/DHAIRYAM_magazine

DHAIRYAM JULY 2021

PAGE 19

Leadership roadmap for aspiring women

© DHAIRYAM CAREER MAGAZINE JULY 2021 dhairyam.magazine feedback.dhairyam@gmail.com https://dhairyam.com Magazine designed by ExDesigners. For inquiries contact us on exdesign0@gmail.com