A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE TWEETORIUM

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way To The Tweetorium

TAVEAU D’ARCY HUMOROUS TWEET COLLECTION

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Tweetorium

DR. TAVEAU D’ARCY HUMOROUS TWEET COLLECTION

CELEBRATE the GOODNESS of the LORD! ©2013 Taveau D’Arcy Celebration of His Word Book Publishing All copyrights reserved

www.celebrationofhisword.com

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE TWEETORIUM… Dr. Taveau D’Arcy Humorous Tweet Collection Tweet not lest ye be Retweeted.

(Humor) Could cloning be regarded as "genetic Re-Tweeting?

The rabbit was caught raiding the vegetable garden. The religious farmer spied him & chased the rabbit screaming, "Lettuce prey!”

Do you suppose being raptured is similar to being Re-Tweeted?

LET the saints be JOYFUL in the glory and beauty: let them sing for JOY upon their beds. Psalm 149:5 Game of Thrones: God's Game. His Throne. Are YOU ready? ←

The popular worship song that never got written, "I AM A FRIEND OF JOB."

Some people think so INSIDE the box that they've rented a storage unit for their brain.

The name of the hard hearted psychologist who attended the mean spirited OT King Saul: Dr. Philistine The name of the new movie about muted sweet potatoes: The Silence of the Yams.

Over the top Tweetaholic: Three Tweets to the wind?

Larger type in the Baptist hymnal: Come Thy Font of Every Blessing

"Lord, hit me on the head with a rock of revelation." Peter New book written by King David which contains only hundreds of Selahs: The Psalms of Silence Julius Caesar online: "Vini, vidi, tweeti" (I came, I saw, I Tweeted) One lawyer speaking to another: Carpe per diem.

There's nothing wrong with having a large ego: just remember to wield it carefully so that you never hurt anybody with it We all need to remember: All that Twitters is not pure gold.

Modern Leader: "We walk by faith not by website" Which exercise class did German Martin Luther prefer? Pilates.

Because they use a reformer.

The place on Noah's boat where they stored the bees: back in the arkhives.

WHAT was the first message leader Moses received on his cell phone?

A text of the 10 Commandments.

Q. Did you hear about the shepherd who watched over his sheep with a spirit of excellence? He was out standing in his field.

We all paint with our words. Let us examine the type of art we produce.

Before relocating, the only plastic saints the prophet had ever seen were glued to somebody's car dashboard.

Do you suppose that there's such a thing as "Tweeting under the anointing?"

I first moved to TX & someone put warning sign on our door: COYOTE WARNING: Don't walk your pet, it may be dinner on a string for a coyote Still waters run deep. Smooth talkers run shallow.

The basket ball player was addicted to the web? Nothing but 'net.

Trolling on line? You never know what you'll find.

Life is just like the Twitter stream: Unnoticed our life keeps passing while we all keep spouting phrases‌\ Around the town the merry cattleman was well known as The Jolly Rancher.

Marriage Anti Virus: Put down the remote, abandon your media and gaze into each other's eyes.

The many odd realms of human existence; High Brow, Low Brow and Unibrow Q. What's the name of the best selling devotional book written by an anointed fish? A. The Song of Salmon.

Skateboarder Kudos: Giving honor where honor is dude.

He continually battled the legal system: 'From Here to Attornity" TWITTER MATH: one 140 character Tweet divided by 2 ='s a 70 character half Twit??

Blame Shifters Anonymous Motto: "The buck never stops here."

Feel God is taking too long in your pioneering ministry? Consider prophet Noah who worked 125 yrs building a huge boat on dry land before seeing 1 drop of rain.

A 21 yr old complained that her boyfriend never calls, only texts. I asked how they met, she replied, "Oh, he texted me where I worked."

Modern Media Pure Marketing: "We walk by faith, not by website" Name of the prophetess shopping for groceries in Texas: Jane on the aisle, in Plano ORGANIC NT apostle Paul stated in 2 Tim 3:10 "Know my lifestyle" while many of today's disciples place much emphasis on "Know my hair style."

Vini, vidi, twitti : I came, I saw, I Tweeted.

Growing up, waiting in doctor’s offices, my favorite read was jokes in Reader’s Digest. Maybe that’s where all these one liners originate!

Let the Lord not say: That generation of believers was so ungenuine that the only infilling they had ever heard about was getting Botox.

Q. WHY did the confrontational hen cross the road? A. Because she wanted to lay it on the line.

It doesn't require a sheepskin to turn into an old wineskin.

TWITTER PALACE: realm of communicative authority in 140 online characters Online Praiseworthy: I will TWEET of the mercies of the Lord....I will RETWEET of the goodness of our God...

The name of King David’s favorite salad dressing: Bal-Psalmic Vinaigrette You Tube Dance video RE person’s in need of weight loss, "I'm Hefty and I Know It." Ruth and Naomi online: "Twitter thou goest, I will go."

Name of the Smiling False Prophet: N. Sin Seer Insincere religion is soylent green for the human spirit.

“Gimme that MOUNTAIN, you can KEEP your old CANE!!” Modern Caleb Leadership Temple Washroom Doors: Patriarchs & Matriarchs (Dr. T's first joke from age 17) Q. WHY did Ronald MacDonald insure his feet? A. Because of his golden arches.

Dallas Metroplex Church Hopper: So many churches, so little time.

King Solomon over the internet: "Let your Tweets be few."

She felt about as welcome as a lady preacher at a Levitical Patriarch's convention!

VALENTINE CARD somebody gave me once,"Be my Tootsy Wootsy or

I'll break your armsy warmsy" They abandoned him, with only his wireless computer. He was left virtually alone.

The name of the first baby in China who's birth was viewed live on web online streaming: Sky Ping DFW Metroplex Bumper Sticker: Better to have a bleeding heart, than to have no heart at all.

BIBLE VIEW: wife is the physically "weaker vessel" Yet in a couple, WHO is the NEATER vessel? the SLEEKER vessel? CHEAPER Vessel?

MEEKER? What did they call it when the prayer warrior jumped over the back of the pew during a time of impassioned prayer? A leaping intercession.

To radiate God's light, we don't need to be a perfect light bulb, just not a dim one. J A fish went to the doctors to ask about having the wrinkles removed from around his eyes. So they called in a plastic sturgeon.

Go Green Along with Father God: Green means GO FOR IT! GROWING! REALLY THRIVING! Signs on the OT Temple washrooms: Patriarchs and Matriarchs FOUNDING USA Pioneer Captain John Smith introduced his writer cousin, Word Smith.

Let the Lord not say: That generation of believers was so ungenuine that the only infilling they had ever heard about was getting Botox.

Believers: Would we rather be known for New Wine or New Whine?

To the kind, God shows Himself kind" But what about the bossy?

Delete your inner fogie.

Those who doubt pout.

Overcomng Fear of Man: 'How the Wuss was won..."

BIBLE VIEW: wife is the physically "weaker vessel" Yet in a couple,

WHO is the NEATER vessel? the SLEEKER vessel? CHEAPER Vessel?

MEEKER? Isaiah 56:7 "I will make you joyful in my house of prayer."

Grass Roots Old Song Remake: We're on the eve of dysfunction.

A fish went to the doctors to ask about having the wrinkles removed from around his eyes. So they called in a plastic sturgeon.

We all need to cool our jets and chill. (Modern lingo: Be still and know that HE is God.) Grand Selah: Avoid ones who drain to minimize strain.

WONDERING if the Lord will hold us accountable for every idle Tweet?

Those who were being followed the most, gathered together for a major Tweetorium.

Skateboarder Kudos: Giving honor where honor is dude.

"You don't have to be a Star to be in Jesus' show." (Modern Song Paraphrase) Some of the chaotic junior disciples would be late to get on the boat with Jesus before he crossed over. OR might have fallen overboard What's WORSE than being DELETED out of someone's cell phone or Facebook? Having God delete YOUR name from HIS Lamb's Book of Life Rev 3:4-6 God wants to make each shepherd outstanding in his field.

When you TWEET share some MEAT. Q. What did they call it when the prayer warrior jumped over the pew while he prayed?: A leaping intercession I will be glad and rejoice about you. I will sing your name, O Most High - Psalm 9:2.

When on duty, we pass muster. Eating out, we pass the mustard.

King Solomon penned his book of Proverbs back in the day. Would he have used Twitter today? PS Would King Solomon have a Facebook page?

REMEMBER BACK WHEN: Vegetables were "home grown" rather than "organic?"

An elite group of persons who disdain education: The Illiterati Just as the spinner bait attracts an unsuspecting bass, so enticing words and witty banter attract a naive mortal soul.

WONDERING if Murphy's Law started in Murphy, Texas?

Be GLAD! The only sin God holds you accountable for is the one you did not truly repent for & turn from. :) NO MORE PLASTIC RELIGION: Hoops jumping should only be for basket ball players.

What flavor of tea was a favorite among the Hebrew children? "Chai*" (*letter in the Hebrew alphabet relating to "life", being alive) Though the Sands of Time pass through Life's hour glass: Wisdom nudges," Better keep a broom nearby."

Twitter Stream: Flying trapeze of endless spontaneous words The pastor found a brand new high speed computer left out in the shrubs. He REJOICED at finding RAM in the BUSH. Do you think that Tweeting over rapidly can make you border on an altered state of consciousness?

SR LEADER: ALL of you who feel the need to be OVER somebody, meet _____ and ALL of you who just don't CARE meet____ (TBA my city and yours) Blame Shifters Anonymous Motto: "The buck never stops here."

This time she clearly saw the writing on the wall. And,like any good Mother, she got a rag and washed it off.

Signs on the Old Testament Temple washrooms: Patriarchs and Matriarchs

I joyfully thank God - 2 Timothy 1:3 He thought he was the angel Gabriel, until one day he looked at himself in the mirror and noticed his wing flaps were missing.

Imaginary Confections: Jolly virtual bakers handing out chocolate covered Tweets across the internal universe PURELY PLASTIC PERSONA: If I knew how to do it all by myself, what would I use YOU for?

WOULD the German Reformer Martin Luther have first posted his 95 theses on the web if he were alive today? Or his blog post?

He'd watched TV & meditated on the world system so LONG that when he reached 45 he suddenly felt very old & a surprising thirst for Geritol.

Charles Wesley feeling a bit webbish: O for a thousand Tweets to Tweet my great Redeemer's Name!

Finally, therefore brethren: The ones who prefer to be LOVING meet at ____ & the ones who prefer to be RIGHT meet ____ (TBA your own city) She was a full strength domestic diva who lived vicariously through her cook, maid and gardener. (The Tweeter wishes!)

Do you believe that there is such a God thing as “word of Twitter?�

His ego rose up like a giant duck just waiting to be taken down.

Two pearls: double the amount of irritating sand.

Dominating doctrines dummy down disciples.

They abandoned him, with only his wireless computer. He was left virtually alone.

At first glance, she found many of them to be sincere: sincerely plastic.

She believed that she could change him. Her faith would be tested.

Dallas Metroplex Church Hopper: So many churches, so little time.

The region had SO MANY plastic surgery magazines, that she wondered if the plastic religion had anything to do with it.

Bible plastic surgery: "You will lift up your face without shame; you will stand firm without fear." Job 11:15 NIV She Twittered in faith, as unto God, not unto man.

Imaginary Confections: Jolly virtual bakers handing out chocolate covered Tweets across the internal universe Why did the church hopper cross the road? To get to the church on the other side.

Charles Wesley feeling a bit webbish: O for a thousand Tweets to Tweet my great Redeemer's Name!

WOULD the German Reformer Martin Luther have first posted his 95 theses on the web if he were alive today?

One lawyer speaking to another: Carpe per diem.

Do you believe there’s such a thing as “Tweeting under the anointing?”

A Fake Spiritual Father: Faux Pa? He would switch personas as often as he did his business suits. Every Sunday he would don his Altar Ego. Might cloning be regarded as genetic RETWEETING??

Possible Text Sign Off? PPGC: Practice Personal Godly Contentment "Godliness with contentment is great gain." (as in I Timothy 6:6) Which exercise class did German Martin Luther prefer? Pilates.

Because they use a reformer.

Online Book of Ruth : “Twitter thou goest I will go.”

A friend went to Walmart @ 5 AM Black Friday & a lady kept running into people with her electric wheelchair to get thru to the TV's. (True!)

Tweet not lest ye be Re-tweeted.

One human's solitary spontaneous commentary: Monologue in the Twittorium Occupy Self: Get a grip.

End Time Game of Thrones: God's Game. His Throne. YOU ready?

Do you suppose that being raptured is the similar to being ReTweeted?

When Jesus is the center of your joy, no matter what else happens, He will give YOU peace and help YOU find something to smile about.

There's nothing wrong with having a large ego: just remember to wield it carefully so that you never hurt anybody with it.

They felt trapped: veritable hamsters on the treadmill of Life. What could break through the boredom & underlying futility? A GOD ENCOUNTER! Will there be WIRELESS in heaven? OR will we BE wireless?

Over the top Tweetaholic: Three Tweets to the wind?

The prayer the football fan prayed when he found out that his favorite team was about to lose: Weeping Intercession.

The clandestine group of online intelligentsia: the Twitterati The boy said "I'm very witty!" His mother said "You're half right."

TEXAS BLESSINGS: On the days when both the gas prices and the hot temperatures are way down!

We humans can jump but so high, yet by the Lord's Holy Spirit dynamite power we can encounter Eternity.

I found that one of the Miriam Webster's Dictionary definitions of "reprove" means to "tick off."

RE LEADER WOMEN: "Let none of you be clueless, brethren."

Caleb Leader,"Give me that mountain...You can keep your old cane!"

They froze silent in their tracks. And as they listened, they could actually hear it: It was blame being shifted!

Better to be a childlike Happy Camper than robbed of joy by the Accuser's oppressive negative damper!

HOW CAN I BE JOYOUS? "The joy of the Lord is my strength," "Godly contentment is GREAT GAIN" "Give thanks IN all things."

Ben Franklin, King Solomon and Mark Twain: each would have just loved Twitter!

SPIRIT OF GOD: One Private Eye sees beyond the Lie. IF you're going to dabble in something spiritual why not let it be God's supernatural Holy Spirit anointing?

As Mr. Procter said to Mr. Gamble, "Let's go out and spread the JOY!" The name of the somber group of pioneering religious founding fathers: New England Patriarchs A clean conscience & an unworried relaxed mind: PRICELESS. Loving Jesus makes me feel HAPPY..the spirit of religion makes me feel CRABBY. Experienced a shaking of the temple: Wellness Fitness!

ALONE we are born, live, put on our own tennis shoes, answer our cell, delete our Twitter stream & prepare to meet with God on the Final Day FOR INSOMNIACS: "Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming."

Ps 118;1 O give THANKS to the Lord for He is good!

Overly rigid is based on 1's pressure point. But SOME call a leader RIGID for only expecting them to show up!!

The name of the first baby in China who's birth was viewed live on web online streaming: Sky Ping Trust and obey inch after inch and being ready for the Final Day will be a cinch.

Stalwart Social Media Motto: Sometimes Re-Tweeted, sometimes Deleted but never Defeated!!

Thriving Ageless Organic : Psalm 92:14 They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be full of sap and green.

The late Pastor Al Walker of Charity Mission 1st spoke of Coconut Time, "You never know when the coconut will fall from the tree."

Like fingernails scratching across a chalk board so is the untimely arrival of a Coconut Timer employee, staff to his/her employer.

SR LEADERS: ALL of you who feel the need to be OVER somebody, meet _____ and ALL of you who just don't CARE meet____ (TBA my city and yours) OCFC Happy Camper: We can either be smug or give someone a big hug.

Which has more Eternal value: a fist full of dollars or a fist full of flowers?

Remembering my father, Baptist Scholar: Wondering if the famous preacher, Dr. Spurgeon preferred his fish to be flounder or sturgeon?

What was the name of the old time, legendary, internet surfing Country & Western recording star? Conway Twitter "Lord, hit me on the head with a rock of revelation." Peter Some people think so INSIDE the box that they' ought to rent a storage unit for their brain.

Born again Egyptians "living in DeNile" As a fly fisherman throws out his line so does the person with a sly silver tongue

Blame Shifters Anonymous Motto: "The buck never stops here."

King David’s favorite salad dressing: Bal-Psalmic Vinaigrette Deep Business Organization: "Perfect math drives out all fear."

The name of the new movie about muted sweet potatoes: The Silence of the Yams.

An old bumper sticker I used to have: "BEAM ME UP, LORD!" TWITTER PALACE: realm of communicative authority in 140 online characters Area Free spirits all around the metroplex...too bad the tollways are not.

Growing up, waiting in doctor’s offices, my favorite read was jokes in Reader’s Digest. Maybe that’s where all these one liners originate!

There is MUCH MORE JOY when one lives one's life continually focused on what is Everlasting.

Twittering Public: not called to leadership, but merely orn to "follow?"

DFW Bumper Sticker: Better to have a bleeding heart than to have no heart at all What puts the BOA in BOAnerge ministry? LEVIathan of Job 41.

MODERN I Cor.13:1 If I TWEET in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

He fancied himself as the angel Gabriel, until one day he looked at himself in the mirror and noticed his wing flaps were missing.

"BE YE GLAD, BE YE GLAD, BE YE GLAD!!"

WONDERING if the Lord will hold us accountable for every idle Tweet?

He stayed over long at the oxygen bar and was now just a simple oxy moron.

WONDERING if Murphy's Law started in Murphy, Texas?

Newby Report: It was not until I relocated to DFW that I ever saw THAT MANY nightly news reports about manicures and pedicures!

Q.Was King David a “Church Hopper?” Psalm 26:12, “in the congregationS I will bless the Lord.”

The sound of joyful shouting and salvation is in the tents of the righteous; The right hand of the LORD does valiantly. Psalm 18:15/16 Old Corny Humor; You heard about the religious hair stylist. She would finish fixing her client's hair, aim the can & say, "Let us SPRAY." She had an aversion to FONTS. They were not her TYPE. Q. What did they call it when the prayer warrior jumped over the pew while he prayed?: A leaping intercession Greedy Antisocial Twitterer: He hoarded words as some do old clothes.

REFINED VS ORGANIC: Too many overly processed super sugary Twitter postings? Serve organic whole Tweet The rabbit was caught raiding the vegetable garden. The religious farmer spied him and began chasing the rabbit screaming, "Lettuce prey!"

The name of a movie about a farmer growing quiet sweet potatoes: The Silence of the Yams God owns the cattle on a thousand hills. “Lord,Please section us off some big ones from Your herd.”

You don't have to be normal, but you should be natural.

The favorite department store of prophets: Seers The Bible teaches that God will hold us accountable for each one of our spoken words. But what about our TWEETS? The blame shifting of two wrongs, does not make one right.

Blame Shifters Anonymous: Passive Aggressive Addiction Real cause of Suburban Sprawl? Too much fast food.

GREATFUL DEAD? "..... absent from the body.... present with the Lord.

"2 Corinthians 5:8 If everyone who writes on Twitter truly believed that "silence is golden� would it then completely wither away?

Just as the spinner bait attracts an unsuspecting bass, so enticing words and witty banter attract a naive mortal soul.

Persons who don't "live by the book" often wind up writing one.

Repeat 3 times fast: Vaughn, the vociferous vegan, vanquished his vegetables.

If he were alive today, would Conway Twitty TWEET? Keep JESUS the center of your joy: not your Self, your wealth or the approval or disapproval of others.

The ignoramus thought Hamlet was the name of a large dog because he had always heard that he was a great Dane.

CHOOSE CHRIST: CHOOSE REAL JOY! ORGANIC LEADER Love, Joy, Peace: Keep them as a daily standard by which you measure your own life.

WONDERING if Murphy's Law started in Murphy, Texas?

He was an experienced gunsmith of polished high caliber well aimed words.

The umbilical chord of our many relationships : the cell phone DEFICIT: He took a virtual tour of his own soul only to find nothing there.

Do all the Lexus live in Texas ...?

Whosoever REFUSES to be a Victim WINS.

Why did the church hopper cross the road? To get to the church on the other side.

In Modern Vernacular: The lion hath roared, who will not fear? the Lord GOD hath spoken, who can but Tweet? Amos 3:8 Trending Webbish pop singer Madonna? "I'm living in a virtual world and I am just a virtual girl If they passed the offering plate one more time, he was going to feel pressured to put in his last child.

Free spirits all around the metroplex...too bad the tollways are not.

The happy farmer was so CHEERY that he was widely known as The Jolly Rancher.

Bible plastic surgery: "You will lift up your face without shame; you will stand firm without fear." Job 11:15 Is it true that All the Lexus live in Texas?

NOW DAYS it's a sin to call a sin a sin.

1st of Most Favorite Saying of my late Father In Law': "That guy ain't wrapped too tight!"

2nd Most Favorite Saying of my late Father In Law;� He/she was so skinny that he/she had to drink muddy water to keep people from seeing through him/her."

3rd Most Favorite Saying of my late Father in Law,"If you're born to hang you'll never drown."

Like the mighty ocean, swirling with many billions of microscopic plankton, so the Twitter universe has as many swirling words.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Tweetorium

DR. TAVEAU D’ARCY HUMOROUS TWEET COLLECTION © 2013 Taveau D’Arcy Celebration of His Word Book Publishing www.celebrationofhisword.com

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