the script
News By Charles Back Page 2
By Grace Trombley Page 3 By STEWART GIDEON
By Claire Torak Page 3
By Anthony Paul Page 4
By Amber Weitzel Page 5
By Sarah Page Page 6
By Madeline Bryant Page 6
JACKSONVILLE, FL- At Hoover students are upset with their school and are doing something about it. After a series of policy changes at Hoover High School, students are taking measures to make their voices heard. Jonathan Brown, 34, the principle of Hoover High School stated in a meeting last week “We have enacted several new and innovative programs in our school to help the students, however they are not pleased with the changes”.
name of the school) was pretty chill, you know? And now they took away all the gnarest things about the school, brah.” The angst and frustration built up and metaphorically blew up last week when 283 students protested in the courtyard. The next day, 465 students joined a petition to repeal the changes. Then in a glorious climax, a riot broke out on Friday, where half the school burnt down, and more than thirty students were injured. Three died in a set of duals over an ancient feud between the Masaaki family and the Dynastako clan.
which policies were disliked the most, Eddy Jones, 16, stated, “I was really upset about how the administrators were looking on my Twitter and gave me a referral.” Further explaining, “I feel like it’s an invasion of privacy, and if I want to openly insult and cuss other students out in a public forum then I should be able to, its in the constitution.” Other students offered the same mentality saying that they had gotten expelled for writing words like, “poop, darn, gee-whillikers and Jiminy Cricket ” on their social media sites.
Principal Brown stated, “It is an unfortunate situation when a series of changes causes such a strong reaction among the students,” further saying, “I will do everything in my power to make these things right, and my condolences go out to the students killed. LONG LIVE THE MASAAKI FAMILY!” as he tore his shirt and committed seppuku.
Methuselah Soggybottom, 135, an assistant principal at Hoover High School, explained another one of the points of conjecture among students, “Thy issue lies with the institution of a contemporary policy henceforth called dress code.” When asked Back in my day, lass’s were not allowed to show their ankles. It is my mission to purify this school of devil clothes that insinuate sexually explicit behaviors like pants, or what the whipper-snappers call ‘t-shirts’”. The new “Lady and Gentleman” policy requires girls to wear hoop-skirt dresses and young men to wear waistcoats and top-hats.
By Shruti Murali Page 7
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against the changes the school has made. Jack Toronto, 18, a Senior said, “During -