5 minute read
IT’S OKAY TO BE GAY!” ISN’T IT?
WHY DOES IT, IN 2020, FEEL AS THOUGH IT’S NOT OKAY TO BE GAY?
Advertisement
“In the 80s and 90s in Tekst en fotografie: Jody Simone Amsterdam, it was okay to be openly gay. Over the last federation that educates and 10 years it has changed.“ promotes awareness of the LGBTQ community throughout The Netherlands. “Our job is to educated society, speak to As we sat on the terrace of was this exactly. Why do same sex students in schools, play a role a cute little wine bar down a couples need a safe space to eat in the political system and keep dainty street in the city center out together? Surely all places the LGBTQ community in the of Leeuwarden, the young waiter one eats outs at is a “safe space.” news as an actuality,” Van Baalen approached us with a cheeky It seemed I had misunderstood mentions over a phone call last smile. the true struggles and reality Friday. Normally, COC would He asked if we were a couple. of the society we live in coming do on average 100 lessons There is a possibility that my with loving someone of the throughout the year. Due to the feisty response came from same sex. Essentially the LGBTQ COVID crises this has had to the two and half glasses of community is clearly separated cease, helaas. Over the last few chardonnay I had guzzled and different from “the norm.” years, rainbow flags have been down thirty minutes prior, but popping up in each province in essence, I had heard this Gracious in its liberalism, 2001 throughout the country but due question several times before in was the year The Netherlands to political reasoning Friesland many different settings across legalized same sex marriage. The did not hop on the band wagon the city. first country across the world to until May of this year. Thanks to I snapped back with an answer do so. Revolutionary right? One the help of television presenter I too have given many times. would assume being gay and Sipke Jan Bousema, more Annoyed once again with people living in this avant-garde country attention was attracted to this asking about my business I would be a breeze. Ignorance, in topic and a difference was made. responded, “Isn’t it obvious?” this case, is not bliss. His documentary on the journey A taken aback smile was returned After speaking to Cees van to be a ‘rainbow province’ can be before mentioning that his Baalen, manager of COC found on Omrop Friesland. It’s father’s own this restaurant and Friesland for the past 18 years, inspirational. he merely wanted to let us know mentioning that there is clearly a that it was a safe space for same lot of work still to be done in this “In the 80s and 90s in Amsterdam, sex couples to wine and dine. province of the north didn’t come it was okay to be openly gay. Over A safe space for same sex as a surprise. COC, its head office the last 10 years it has changed. couples? My question to myself in Amsterdam, is a self-regulating People are more careful and a bit more frightened. I think it has to do with the polarization of politics.” – Van Baalen
Some of Leeuwarden’s inhabitance have shown intolerance and disrespect towards the LGBTQ community. This can be due to the lack of education or simply not having the knowledge. One needs to keep in mind that on the outskirts of the city, some villages hold religious communities that obviously frown upon same sex couples. “People are not necessarily discriminative; they merely need to come to an understanding that being gay is not a choice. Some areas in Friesland are liberal, but some areas are difficult because of religion.”
Up until my twenty-sixth year around the sun, I had only dated men. During this time I wasn’t getting cat called, stared at, commented on or in the presence of big egos and little penises. Okay, yes sometimes, but I guess my naivety consumed the negativity. When I began my relationship with my girlfriend, I did not even think twice about being with someone of the same sex. The drastic differences that I am now able to distinguish on people’s faces, purely by the fact that my hand is now in a woman’s and not a man’s, is beyond my capacity. To put it simply, I’m shook at the inconsideration of society. Two worlds where I have the ability to analyze and observe the behavior of societies treacherous behavior when it comes to straight and same sex couples. I can only imagine the struggles, hardships and frustrations transgender men and woman have to go through in such a loud-mouth, outspoken world.
As we sat on the terrace of an Irish bar across the road from the provincial house, a simple night out for two did not come with the ease that was expected. While enjoying my two and a half glasses of chardonnay attention seemed to attract itself to our table. A small crowd of men gathered around us, all of which we were acquainted with to some extent, so nothing in particular was thought of it. Moments later, the topic of conversation revolved around the measurements of their private parts. Horrified and shocked we grabbed our stuff and sprinted out of there to find our “safe space.” Now I get it.
Society has forever created a blanket of protection for straight white men to get away with saying and doing what they please without any consequence. Why do I say these things? There seems to be an extremely thin layer of ice when being an attractive woman in a relationship with another attractive woman. Are these men now insecure? These well-educated, married, fathers of young boys felt the need to comment on their scrotums while in the presence of woman. Shook. Let me be clear in saying as well as saving my ass (which has also been the topic of their conversations), not every man is disrespectful. For those in the back and who are not listening clearly, not every man is bad.
It’s 2020. Some respect, consideration and educating yourself on the fact that there might be people “different” to you should be an obvious.
