OnAbolition, Ancestry&Ambition
EssaysbyCheriseMorris
In loving memory of Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, David McAtee, Trayvon
Martin, Dreasjon “Sean” Reed, Elijah McClain, Michael Brent Charles Ramos, Manuel
“Mannie” Elijah Ellis, Atatiana Koquice Jefferson, Sandra Bland, Emantic “EJ” Fitzgerald
Bradford Jr, Charles “Chop” Roundtree Jr, Chinedu Okobi, Botham Shem Jean, Antwon Rose
Jr., Saheed Vassell, Stephon Alonzo Clark, Aaron Bailey, Michael Brown, Charleena Chavon
Lyles, Fetus of Charleena Chavon Lyles, Ayianna Stanley Jones, Tamir Rice, Jordan Edwards,
Chad Robertson, Deborah Danner, Alfred Olango, Eric Garner, Terence Crutcher, Terrence
LeDell Sterling, Korryn Gaines, Joseph Curtis Mann, Philando Castile, Alton Sterling, Bettie
“Betty Boo” Jones, Quintonio LeGrier, Corey Lamar Jones, Jamar O’Neal Clark, Jeremy “Bam
Bam” McDole, India Kager, Samuel Vincent DuBose, Brendon K. Glenn, Freddie Carlos Gray
Jr., Walter Lamar Scott, Eric Courtney Harris, Phillip Gregory White, Mya Shawatza Hall,
Meagan Hockaday, Tony Terrell Robinson, Jr., Janisha Fonville, Natasha McKenna, Jerame C.
Reid, Rumain Brisbon, Tamir Rice, Akai Kareem Gurley, Tanisha N. Anderson, Dante Parker,
Ezell Ford, Michael Brown Jr., John Crawford III, Dontre Hamilton, Victor White III, Gabriella
Monique Nevarez, Yvette Smith, McKenzie J. Cochran, Laquan McDonald, Jordan Baker, Andy
Lopez, Miriam Iris Carey, Barrington “BJ” Williams, Jonathan Ferrell, Carlos Alcis, Larry
Eugene Jackson Jr., Kyam Livingston, Clinton R. Allen, Kimani “KiKi” Gray, Kayla Moore, Jamaal Moore Sr., Johnnie Kamahi Warren, Shelly Marie Frey, Darnisha Diana Harris, Timothy
Russell, Malissa Williams, Noel Palanco, Reynaldo Cuevas, Chavis Carter, Alesia Thomas, Shantel Davis, Sharmel T Edwards, Tamon Robinson, Ervin Lee Jefferson, III, Kendrec
McDade, Rekia Boyd, Shereese Francis, Jersey K. Green, Wendell James Allen, Nehemiah Lazar
Dillard, Dante’ Lamar Price, Raymond Luther Allen Jr., Ma’Khai Bryant, Sonya Massey, Manual Levi Loggins Jr., Ramarley Graham, Kenneth Chamberlain Sr., Alonzo Ashley, Derek
Williams, Raheim Brown, Reginald Doucet, Derrick Jones, Danroy “DJ” Henry Jr., Aiyana
Mo'Nay Stanley-Jones, Steven Eugene Washington, Emmett Till, Aaron Campbell, Kiwane
Carrington, Victor Steen, Shem Walker, Oscar Grant III, Tarika Wilson, DeAunta Terrel Farrow,
Sean Bell, Kathryn Johnston, Ronald Curtis Madison, James B. Brissette Jr., Henry “Ace”
Glover, Timothy Stansbury, Jr., Ousmane Zongo, Alberta Spruill, Kendra Sarie James, Orlando
Barlow, Nelson Martinez-Mendez,Timothy DeWayne Thomas Jr., Ronald Beasley, Earl Murray, Patrick Moses Dorismond, Prince Carmen Jones Jr., Malcolm Ferguson, LaTanya Haggerty, Margaret LaVerne Mitchell, Amadou Diallo, Tyisha Shenee Miller, Dannette Daniels, Frankie
Ann Perkins, Nicholas Heyward Jr., Mary Mitchell, Yvonne Smallwood, Eleanor Bumpers, Michael Jerome Stewart, Eula Mae Love, Arthur Miller Jr., Randolph Evans, Barry Gene Evans,
Rita Lloyd, Henry Dumas, …… and all those who, too, have lost their lives to this plague.
May your lives not be lost in vain.
May you all, one day, rest freely
May we all, one day, in your memory, be free.
EcologiesofFear
I’vealwayswonderedhowmyancestorsrespondedtothearrivaloftheWhiteMan. Howhadtheyreceivedthis other?
Thestrangerswhowouldgoonto make them others instrangelands withstrangenamesandfunnywordsandoddpracticesandaspirations. Hadtheywillinglyopenedtheirhandstothisstrangerwithstrangefacepaintandstrangeclothes andstrangeambitions?Didtheymeetthisstrangenesswhereitwas withopenexpressions andkindness?Wasthereskepticismcrouchedbetweengesturesofwelcomeandinquiry awave,aheadnod,afurrowedbrow,orpursedlips?
Howdidtheygreetstrangeness?
Andwasthereanyfear?
Weretheyafraidbeforetheyknewwhattheyhadtobeafraidof?
WhenIsay,“TheWhiteMan,”Idon’tmeanjustwhitemen,butinstead,thearchetypeof imperialambition,thislongingforpossessionandconquestandcontrolthatcastitselfacrossthe Europeancivilizationasshadowsofasortofviolenceanddominationthatwouldbecome characteristicofthewesternmindset.Inthatlongingforpossessionlivesanunrelentingdesire for“order” “categorization” “lawfulness.”Theideathatonemust flatten compartmentalize or facture somethingtowraptheirmindsaroundit.Thereisthisimpulseto control todominateandgarnerthiscontrolthroughfearratherthanreverenceormutual respect. Actingonbehalfofnations,institutions,andidealsthatsoughttoconquerthroughfracture, thesemenwerestrippedoftheirownhumanityintheirqueststostripothersoftheirs.When colonizersencounteredthosewhomtheywouldbrandassavages as others as resourcestocontrol they,themselves,becameothers,actingassavages.Therewasno orderorlawfulnesstotheirmeansofestablishingwhattheybelievedwaslawandorderand providence,divine. Therewasnomutualrespect,nohumankinship,noempathyordesiretounderstand.Therewas onlyviolence,intimidation,deception.
Anyone,regardlessofidentity,canexhibitthisimpulse tocontrolanddominate,to possessandconfine tofracture.Thisinclinationisthebedrockofthestructuresand institutionsoftheworldasweunderstandittoday Itisetchedacrossthesurfaceofeveryaspect ofthissociety Andbehindthefacadeoforderlinessanddiscipline civility lives animperativetocreateandmaintainfear thefearwhichthesesystemsofviolenceand dispossessionstandon.
IthinkoftheNativeAmericanswhohelpedtheearlycolonistssurviveonlytobepassed diseasedblankets tobedispossessedontheirownancestrallands roundeduplikecattleandplacedonreservationstobereschooledundertheguiseof advancement. Whyhadtheynotjustletthoseothersdie?
Iftheyknewthenwhattheyknownowwouldtheychosendifferently?
I’veoftenwonderedhowpeopleindigenoustoAfricaortheAmericashadfallenintothetrapsof conquestandconquerthatwouldstranglethemandtheirdescendantsforcenturiestocome? Whyhadtheyopenedtheirdoorstothedecimationanddestructionthatwouldfollowthesefirst encounters?
Howhadtheygreetedthesestrangers?
Howdidtheyimaginethesevisitationswouldend?
Whyhadn’twarordominationbeentheirfirststrategy?
Wasitweaponsorintimidationthatenticedthemintolisteningtothepromisesoroffersofthese strangersfromstrangelandswithstrangevaluesandideas?Wasitdeceptionorfalsepromises?
I’llneverbeaflyonthewall.I’llneverwitnessthesemoments.I’llneverseeinsidethemind's eyesoftheseancestors,holdcourtoraudiencewiththemtoponderthewhyandhowandwhat ofitall.
Butinthesesolemncontemplationsofhowtheworldcametobeasithascometobe, Iam remindedbydisembodiedwhispers,
“We do not come from ecologies of fear.”
This is learned behavior
This
is not our nature.
Wehave,overtimeandcenturiesandtraumas,beenconditionedtoaccept,embrace,andbelieve inthesesystemsteepedinfearandviolence.Wehavelearnedtocarrythisfearandviolence forwardandbleedintoothersasithasbeenbledintous. Butthisisnotwhatwecomefrom orwhereorwho.
Iwon’tspendtoomuchtimespeculatingonthelegendoftheseancestors, howtheylived,what theybelievedorfelt,butIcanlingerhere…inthisqueryofthosefirstencountersandtheone wisdomIhavegleaned thatallthosegenerationago,whenwewerefree, wewerenotafraid.
We do not come from ecologies of fear.
We do not come from closed doors suspecting strangers. We do not come from jumping first to our defenses. We do not come from distrust. We do not come from refusing to listen or hear
We are born trusting everything around us. It is, perhaps our most human nature, to open, to be sometimes too open for our own good. It is our nature to yearn for embrace and the reciprocity of love. We are born trusting, or at least wanting to be able to trust. We are born believing in the best intentions and the most fruitful outcomes.
So,why,then,wouldwenotembraceastranger?
Whywouldwenotwelcome,oratleastentertain,theunknown?
Whywouldwesee“strangeness”asanythingotherthannewness?
Whywouldwefearwhatwedidnotknowifweneverfearedwhatwecamefrom?
Whywouldwenotinviteeachnewencounterasanopportunity, anopeningratherthana trap?
WhatIdoknowisthatmanyoftheseancestorsexistedbeyondtheconstructsandlimitationsthat haveshackledmyimagination.Thatmanyofthemexistedbeyondthepurviewsofcarceral ideologies.Thatmanyofthemlivedwithouteverknowingorencounteringanysuchthingas policeofficers,prisons,orjailsandthattheyhadtheirownuniqueconceptsandframeworksof justice,safetyandsecurity.
Iknowtheseancestorsexistedinlineagespredatingthefearandlongingwewouldcometo knowoftheworldasitexiststoday thattheyexistedwithasortoffreedomIhavenever knownandthat Icomefromaconstellationofcosmologicalandontologicalunderstandingsthat centeredeveryindividual’swellbeingasacollectiveresponsibility,thatentrustedeveryonewith empathy,respectandaffirmation,thatwasnottaughttofearwhatonedidnotknow.
WhenItalkaboutthepossibilityofafuturewithoutprisons,withoutpolice,I’moftenmetwith thesamequestion:howcouldthateverbeinaworldwherepeopleenactharmandviolenceon oneanotherallthetime?Iunderstandthenotionofbustingopentheprisondoorstomorrowand dismantlingpoliceforcesseemsimpossibleandthat’sbecauseitis,andthat’snotwhatIenvision atall.AsAngelaDavisremindsus,“Abolitionisnotprimarilyanegativestrategy.It'snot primarilyaboutdismantlingorgettingridof,it'saboutre-envisioning.It'saboutbuildinganew.”
Wemustseebeyondthetrees,andtakeintheemensityoftheforest.Wecannotfocusontearing downthephysicalprisonwhenwemustfirstdismantlethemyriadideologicalchainsandrepair theenduringcyclesofinheritedandintergenerationaltraumathatperpetuateandnecessitatethe veryexistenceofthephysicalprison.
Abolitionisnotjustapoliticalideabutratheraprocessoftransformationthatisascosmological, philosophical,spiritual,andontologicalasitispolitical,culturalandeconomic.These transformationsarebothindividualandcollective,andtheyoccursimultaneously.Ifweshifted ourperspectivestorecognizecrime,harm,andviolenceasevidencefirstandforemostofa system’sfailingsandtorealizethecollectiveresponsibilitywehavetooneanother’swellbeing andtocreatesystemsthatsupportourwellbeing,healing,andcare,whatre-envisioningcouldwe do?Whatnewsystemscouldwebuild?What“constellationofalternativestrategiesand institutions,”asDavisdescribesit,mightbepossible?Howcanweredefineorderandsafety beyondtheboundariesandlimitationsoffear,anepistemologythatdiametricallyopposes freedom?
Abolitionisacomprehensiveframeworkthatreconceptualizesnotionsofcommunalsafety, accountability,healing,andwell-beingthroughreconceptualizationsoftheveryfoundationsof whoweareandhowwerelatetooneanother Indigenouscosmologiesandpracticescanhelp guideourprocessesofre-envisioningafuturewithoutprisonsandpolicingintheoryandin practice.Themovementtoabolishcarcerallogicsisoftendiscreditedasanunfeasible,utopian notionthatisnotpossibleinthecontextofhuman“nature.”Weliveinaviolentsocietybuilt fromtheviolenceofsettlercolonialism,slavery,andpatriarchy.Theviolenceofthissystemand itsoriginsmaketheviolenceofpoliceandprisonsseemnecessary.Buttheabolitionofpolice andprisonsisnotonlyafuturepossibility,itisalineageofancestralpracticeandahistoryof worldsthathavealreadyexisted.
Ourideasformorejust,lovingandliberatedsocietiesareoftendiscreditedtoseemimpossible, unfeasibleandunrealistic.Butinreality,ourmostimaginativegoalsarenotonlypossible, feasibleandrealistic,manyofthemexistedinpracticeinworldspredatingcolonizationand slavery.Inthesamewaythatsomanyofmyrealitieswerethewildestdreamsofmyancestors whowereenslaved,manyofmyancestorswhopredatedslaveryandcolonizationexperienced mywildestdreamsastheirrealities.Iusedtoimagineafuturewithoutprisonsorpoliceasasort ofAfrofuturistfiction,untilIcameacrossthebookthatwouldshowmenotonlyhowrealistic andpossiblethissortofworldwas,butthatithad,infact,existedbefore.
In African Cosmology of the Bântu-Kôngo: Tying the Spiritual Knot, Principles of Life and Living, KimwandendeKiaBunsekiFu-KiauexploresmanyoftheabolitionistideasIsawasan elusivefuturehorizonfromhislivedexperiences.FrameworksandideasthatInowconsider
abolitionistwereintegraltoindigenouscosmologies,pre-colonialsocieties’andthewayspeople understoodthemselvesandtheircommunities.WithinthebeliefsystemsoftheBântu-Kôngo, “crime”wasnotconsideredanindividualactbutasymptomofafailingsystemandaproductof thecollectivesocial,cultural,economic,andenvironmentalshortcomingsofasocietyandits values.Fu-Kiaudescribeshisearliestunderstandingofhiscommunity’sindigenouscosmologies andthewaystheyshapedhisdailyreality,“Igrewupinavillageofatleast1,000 inhabitants…Therewasnotasinglepoliceman,thejailwasunknown,nosecretagent,i.e.a people’swatchdog.Itdidnothaveabureauofinvestigation,nosentrytowatchonpeople’s goods…Everybodyfeltresponsibleforeveryoneelseinthecommunityanditsneighborhood. Whenacommunitymembersuffered,itwasthecommunityasawholewhosuffered.” Theseindigenousperspectivesviewedviolenceorharmastheconsequenceoflargerissuesand “crimes”astheproductof deeplyflawedandinadequate“societiesandsystems.”Theywere abletoexistwithoutthepresenceofprisonsorpolicingbyintegratingsystemsofcollectivecare intotheircommunitieswhichaddressedtherootcauseofanypotentialtransgressions.Our currentcarceralsystemplacestheimpetusforcrimeontheindividual.Theindigenous,ancestral cosmologiesoftheBântu-Kôngoacceptedcollectiveresponsibilityforcrimescommittedas evidenceoffailureinhowtheirsocietycaredforandaffirmedthewellbeingoftheindividuals whocommittedthecrimes.Theseindigenousperspectivesposition“crime”asaresponsetoand resultofsystemicinequity,structuralviolenceandideologicalframeworksofexploitationand dispossession.AndFu-Kiaudescribes“crime,”fromtheperspectiveoftheBântu-Kôngo,as somethingthat,“ispossibletoeradicateitfromhumansociety.”
Anabolitionistfutureisnotautopiawhereissuesorconflictsneverarise.Itisaparadigmwhere communitiescometogethertoaddressanyharmthathasoccurredfromtherootcausetoensure thatitdoesnothappenagain.
Welockourdoorsbutalockcanbebrokeninto.Torndownwithanaxeoraram.Shotthrough.
Alockisbutalockandnothingmoreatall.
Idon’tcomefromlockeddoors.
Becauseofthat,Ineverlockedmydoor.Ihadneverbeenconditionedtointernalizethisdesireto keepothersout,thisfeardrivenbyself-preservation.
Thisdrovemyfirst-yearcollegeroommatecrazy.Shewassoconfusedbymynonchalant attitude.Shecouldn’tunderstandwhyIdidn’tcare.Shecouldnotfathommylackofcaution,of fear Shewastaughttofeelthreatenedandworriedandfearful.Iwas,Isuppose,taughtthesame buttofeelsoaboutdifferentthings.
Iwasnotafraidoftheunnamed,maskedlegendofaperpetrator.Iwasnotafraidoftheoneina couplethousandintruder.Iwas,however,terrifiedbytheuniversityDPSofficerswhohadtocall everytimeIleftmykeyinsidemyroomandcamebacktofindshe’dlockedmeout.Iwas terrifiedwhentheyshowedupatmydooroneFridaynightwhenIhostedaparty
IwasterrifiedthatonetimeaDPSofficerwouldnotallowmetoentermydormbuildingbehind himwithoutfirstshowinghimmystudentID. ThesightoftheIDcardalonewasn’tenough.
TheofficermademeswipetheIDinthedoortoensureIhadaccesstothebuilding.
IwasterrifiedasIcrossedpathsbyhappenstancewithRayKelley,thelongest-serving CommissioneroftheNYPD,onhiswayintoalecturehewouldbekickedoutof.
Thesethingsdidnotscaremyroommatebutshewasterrifiedoftheprospectoftheintruderwho neverappeared.
“Youneverlockthedoor,Cherise.It’ssoannoying.”shescolded.
Naive,shecalledit.
IwouldscoffwhenIlefthomefordrunkennightsknowingIhadtodragasinglekeyalongwith meandkeeptrackofit.ThiskeytomydormroomwastheonlykeyI’deverowneduptothat point.
Growingup,myfamilyneverlockedthedoor.Betweenmygrandparents,mymother,mysister, myuncle,andI,therewasasinglekeytoourhomeandnooneeverusedit.
Weneverworriedaboutit.
Istillhavethehabitofnotlockingmydoor.PerhapsbecauseIwasraisedtonotremember.To notthinkaboutit.PerhapsbecauseI’vebeenlucky.
WhenIgopickupmykidsfrommymother’sapartment,herdoorisneverlocked. Mymother-in-law,ontheotherhand,locksbothlockswhenshecomestovisitus.
Mycollegeroommatewasalotlikeher.Iimaginetheyfearedthesamethings,differentthings thanI.
Icouldfeeltheedgesofherfearcuttingatmyserenity mynaivety my trust.“Whatifsomeonestealssomething?”“WhatifsomeonecomesinhereandIdon’tknow… doessomethingbad…”hervoicetrailedoff,notknowinghowtofillthespaceofherownfear.
Thiswasawhitegirlfromanupper-middle-classneighborhoodinNewHampshire,sacredto deathoftheprospectofsomeotherhypotheticalstranger,someboogeymanouttogetusonour IvyLeaguecollegecampusthatwaspatrolled24/7bypoliceofficers. Wewerebothbroughtupinthelate1990s,theeraofstrangerdanger.ButIwasaBlackgirlwho camefromthebackwoodsofVirginia,aplacewherefolkstalkedtosaintsandhaints.Icame fromsomewheresheprobablywouldhavebeenterrifiedof.She,ontheotherhand,camefroma contextIwouldhavebeennomorecomfortablein.
Atthetime,welivedinProvidence,RhodeIsland,atthetiptopofasteephillsurroundedby armedguards,cameras,patrolmen,swipecards,andflashinglights.Therewerethreelayersof policeofficers“protecting”ourlivingspace.TheProvidencePD,theBrownDepartmentof Safety,andtheRISDDepartmentofSafety.
Peopleinalloftheseplaceshadthepotentialtoharm,tohideskeletonsintheirattics,toget someone.Peopleanywherecouldbescary.Thereisalwayssomethingtobeafraidof,butItry nottoallowmyselftowearmyfearaschains.I’mtryingtobeabitfreer
“Whatarethechancesofthat?”I’dpushback.I really refusedtolockthedoor.Iwasalways losingmykey.Andotherthanthat,Ididn’treallyhavemuchtofearlosing.Themostvaluable thingIhadtomynamebackthenwasaheavyPClaptopcoveredinsillyschoolgirlstickers.
Whatwouldanyoneonthiscampuswanttostealanythingfrom me? Whatwouldanyoneonthis campusfulloftheheirstofortuneswantbetweenthesefourwalls?
Myroommatehadmoretofearlosing,Iguess.Butshewasjustapedestrianwhencomparedto thechildofbillionaires.Shehadalotmorestuff,butevenstill,onthesecondfloorofour building,therewasagirlwhohadarealRothkopaintinghangingonherwall.Noonewanted ourcheap,cheesyposterswhentherewashighartaroundthecorner.
Whatwerethechancesofsomeonewalkingbyourroomonthethirdfloorofafive-story buildingsandwichedbetweentwootherfive-storybuildingsandthinkingthemselves,“Ibet thosegirlsdidn’tlocktheirdoor,”andinvitingthemselvesinside? Andifsomeonewasdeadset onbreakingintojumpoutandyellgotcha,ordosomeothernefariousthingtous,theycould findawaytobypassalock.
Dangerexisted.Mybestfriendgotdaterapedontheseconddayofschool.Ilostmyvirginityto amucholderstudentinasituationthatwaslessthanfullyconsensual.
Dangerexistedbutnotinthewaysshewasconditionedtoimagine.Dangercamemostoften fromthoseweinvitedin.
Shewasobsessedwithtryingtokeeppeopleout tograspontosomeimaginarysense of“safety.”
Buttherewerelimitstoasenseofsafetyderivedfromtheactofkeepingsomeoneout. ThepersonwhosexuallyassaultedmewassomeoneI’dletin.Thepersonwhosexually assaultedmyfriendwassomeonesheletin.
LockscouldnotkeepawaythethingsIwasafraidofwhenaSWATteamknockeddown BreonnaTaylor’sdoorinthemiddleofthenight.
NottoolongaftermypartnerandImovedtoourbuilding,heaccidentallylefthiskeysinour doorovernight.Thenextmorning,whenherememberedthem,theyweregone.Theprevious tenanthadinstalledaringcamerathatwasstillworkingatthetime,sowelookedthefootage
andsawapersonwearingaskimaskwithaskeleton’sfaceprintedon.Theystoppedoutsideour door,pausedforamoment,thenswipedhiskeysandwalkedaway. Theytookthekeys.Theyneverusedthem.Thekeytoourapartment,tothehousefullof belongingswehadmovedoutoftorenovate,tothebuildingwheremypartnerworked,tohouses hehadrenovatedacrossthecity,tohistwovehicles.Theytookallthekeys.Andthatwasit. Therewasneveranysignofentryatanyoftheseplaces.Nothingcameupmissing.Hisvehicles wereparkedwherehe’dleftthem.Nooneeverdoubledbacktosneakintoourapartment.The keysweregone.Andwewerefine.
Afewyearslater,someoneinmybuildingaccidentallyopenedthewrongdoortoseesome variationofmeholdingoneorbothofmywhiningchildrenaftersettlingdownfordinner.My boobwasprobablyhangingoutasIbreastfedmyyoungest.Whoeveritwasclosedthedoorso quickly,Ineversawtheirface.Thepersonleft.Thatwasit.Andwewerefine.
Maybeit’sfairtocontemplatemyluckintheseoddcircumstances.AndImustacknowledgethat peopledoenterintothehomesandlivingspacesofotherswithouttheirpermissionandwiththe intentiontoharmallthetime.Ithappens.Weliveinunsafeenvironmentsthatperpetuateandin manynecessitateourfears.
Somaybeweweretheluckyones.Wehadtestedfate,andnothingcameofit.
Ihavemoretoworryaboutnow.Thousanddollarobjects,envelopeswithstashesofcash,living breathingbeautifulchildren.
ButIknowalockalonewillnotkeepanyofthatsafeinasocietypredicatedofvariousformsof violenceandharm.
AndIknowmostpeoplestilllocktheirdoorsandIknowwhy.BeyondthebubbleofanIvy Leaguecampus,Iknowwhypeoplewouldneedtolocktheirdoors.Iknowwhypeoplewould needtowanttobelieveinsomethingcalled“safety.”Iknowwhy,butIstillforgettolockmy doorallthetime.
Mypositionisn’t:ABOLISHALLLOCKS.Butrather,whatwouldittaketocreateaworldand communitieswherewedon’tneedtolockourdoorstofeelsafe?Wherewearenotworried aboutkeepingothersout.Wherethecyclesofviolenceandlackthatcreatetheactionswhich motivatetheseoftenunfoundedandsometimesrealizedfearsaredisruptedanddiscontinued?
Whatwouldittaketobuildasafeplacebeyondourownfourwalls?
Theotherdayasmymother-in-lawleftourbuilding,shecalledme. “Thepolicearewalkingthroughthebuilding.They’recheckingallthelaundryrooms,looking forsomeone….Makesureyourdoorislocked,”shesaid.
“Ohokay.”Ireplied,knowingthedoorwasprobablynotlockedandnotworryingabout checkingit. Iwasn’tworriedaboutthisstranger Itestedfateagain. Andwewerefine.
LittleBoy
Whenmyeldestsonwasanewborn,Iwouldrockhimtosleepsingingasong:
“Little boy, little boy, when you get older/
You can ask me all the questions/
And I'll tell you the truth about the boys in blue.
Heaven's angels is shining down on us
They won't go away, God has chosen us
Heaven's angels is shining down on us
Pain won't go away, God has chosen us”
Whenhetoldmethepolicetakethebadguysawayafewmonthsago,Iknewitwastimetotell himthetruth.
Itwastimetotellhimthetruthbecausesomeonehadalreadyliedtohim.Inmyfouryearsof motherhood,I’velearnedthatforeverytruthyouwanttotellyourchild,thereareamillion peoplewaitingtolietothemaboutthesamething.
Andwhotoldhimthislie?
Wasithisgrandmother? The other one. WasitBlippiorOfficerJennyfromPokémonoranother kidwhohearditfromtheirparentsorsomeotherpieceofthiscop-ladenculture.
Idon’tknowhowhefirstlearnedaboutpoliceasaconcept,muchlessasprotectors.Despitemy makingitapointtonevermentionthemtohim,toneverallowanyonetogifthimany cop-relatedtoysorpropaganda,toimmediatelyturnoffanykidsprogrammingthatever
mentionedthepolice,Icouldnotkeeptheideaofthemawayfromhim.Beforehewastwoyears old,heknewwhatacopcarwas.
IfIcouldnotprotecthimfromthelie,Ihadtoprotecthimwiththetruth.Themessy,nuanced, complicated,difficulttruth.
Irackedmymind,wantingtoknowwherehegotthisliefrom.WonderinghowthissocietyI workedsohardtoprotecthimfromhadalreadyinvadedhisimagination? Itdidn’tmatterwherehegotitfromorwhorepeatedittohim.Herepeatedittome. HisbestfriendfromschoolgavehimaPawPatrolValentine'scardandwetalkedaboutwhy Mommywouldn’tlethimwatchPawPatrol.Ididn’ttakehimtomypartner'sfriend’skid’s cop-themedbirthdayparty.EveryHalloween,Iseeatleastfiveorsixchildrendressedascops. TherearePinterestpagesfullofpolicepartyideasforkids.Pagesandpagesofkiddycop productsonAmazon.Asuggestedvideo:Blippitakesyouinsideapolicecar….
Mysighmadehimlookforreassurance.Hadwhathesaidbeenokay?WouldIconfirmthis informationhe’dsharedwithme?
“Sometimes,”Isay,“butit’snotthatsimple.”
HewantstoknowwhatImean.
Andwetalk,wetalkaboutwhathethoughtaboutthecops,whatotherssaid,howtheyare supposedtofunctionintheory,whattheyactuallydosometimes.AndItoldhimthetruth,that nothingisassimpleasotherswillmakeitseem.Thatsometimesthepolicehurtpeople.That sometimesthepolicekillpeople.Thatsometimes,someofthemkillinnocentpeopleforno reason.Thatsomepolicekillchildrenwhoareinnocent,thatthereisneverareasontokill children.
Hedoesn’tunderstandthisbinary,innocentorguilt,yet.Hedoesn’tunderstandwhyanyone, whyanychildwouldeverhavetodie.
Hedoesn’tunderstand.Hewantstoknowmore.
Whowerethesechildren,andwhatweretheydoing?
IthinkofAiyanawhowaskilledbypoliceasshesleptonhergrandmother'scouch.Ithinkof Tamirwhowaskilledasheplayedinapark.IthinkofKameronwhowaskilledasplayedinhis bedroomjustdaysbeforeSantaarrived.IthinkofCiarawhowaskilledasherfatherwasserved anevictionnotice.IthinkofMa’Khiawaskilledduringagirlfight.IthinkofDestiniiwhowas killedbypoliceashermotherheldher,inthemidstofamentalhealthcrisis.Shewasonlytwo monthsold.IthinkaboutAdam…
Ithinkaboutthecopswhostoodidlybyasaclassroomoffourthgraderswereshottoribbons.
ItrytofindthewordstotellhimwhatIbelieveisjustenough.Tointroducehimtotheconcept ofinjusticewithoutscaringhimwiththetragediesofeachoftheseindividualstories.Idon’tgive manydetails.
“Whatifthepolicekillme?”Heasks.“Whatiftheykillyou?”Heworries.Hewantstobe reassured.
Iwillneverletthathappen,Itellhim.Ireassurehim,knowingthatonlymeanssomuch. Knowingotherparentscoulddonothingtostopwhathappened.
Itellhim,nomatterwhat,usuallywhenthepoliceshowup,itmeanssomethingbadhas happened,mighthappen,orwillhappen.Theyareaharbinger.Anewvocabularyword,“Mom, whatdoes‘harbinger’mean?”
Sometimes,whenwe’replayingmake-believeandhiszooanimalsareonaquesttofindthe “thunderbolt”crystalintheenchantedforest,thepoliceshowupandstartchasingthem.They havebecomesecondaryantagonistsinhisimaginedworld.
Ihavetoremindhimthatnothingiscutanddry.Thatthisworldisanassemblageofgrey.That perhapsoneofthegreatestfallaciesofthissystemcomesinassuminganything anyone everyoneispurelygoodorbad.Iwanthimtoknowtheinjusticeofreduction,of
flatteningallexperiencesasoneortheother.Ialsowanttounderstandwhatisrightandwhatis wrong.
Iwanthimtoknowthetruth.
Thegreyofitall.
Ineedhimtoknowhowtoprotecthimself,howtoadapt,howtofindoutwhatsafetymeansfor him,andhowtocreatethesafetythatismostfreeing.
AndIwanthimtoknowthetruth.
ofthesystemproppinguptheworldasweknowitis thecontoursofitsflawsandinjustices.
Thepolicearenotallgoodguys,eventhoughnoteveryoneofthemisabadguy.Iwanthimto seetheforestthroughthetrees.Iwanttoraisethinkerswho,ratherthancondemningindividuals, indictthesystemasawholeandthewaysitcorruptsanddehumanizesall,thepeopleit victimizes,andthepeoplewhocommitviolenceinitsname.
Iwanthimtogetbacktoapointwherehecanimagineanenchantedforestwithoutpolice,a placethatisunencumberedbythecarceralstateorthefear,anxiety,orviolenceitcreates.
Iwanthimtoknowthatarealworldwithoutprisonsispossible.Thatwecanevolveaspeople whoarerespectedandvaluedandaffirmedandwitnessedandlovedandembracedandsupported
andwellenoughtonotneedconstantsurveillance tonotneedtosin tonothaveto perpetuateviolencethathasbeenperpetuatedagainstus tonotneedtobecontrolled byfearandpunishment.
Iwanthimtoonedayknowtheworldofhisancestors toexperiencenewfreedoms andknowsomethingmoreoftheotherpartofwhereandwhatandwhowecomefrom.
IwanthimtoknowlifeasFu-Kiaudescribesit,alifeunencumberedbypoliceorother watchdogsandunburdenedbythenecessityforsuchantiquatedmeasures,aworldwhere“the jail[is]unknown,”andeverybodyfeels“responsibleforeveryoneelseinthecommunityandits neighborhood.”
Iwantmychildrentogrowupinaworldwherefolkspracticeritualsofforgivenessakintothose oftheBabembatribe.Wherepeopleareremindedoftheirdivinity,theirgoodness,ratherthan chastizedfortheirmistakes.Wherewhensomeoneactsoutofcharacter,peoplecometogetherto affirmtheirintegrityandtheirinherentcapacitytoloveandbelovedandhelpthemremember whotheytrulyareandwhotheywanttobe.Wheretheguidingprincipleisthatifanyone communitymembersuffers,thecommunityasawholesuffers,andthatwisdomaloneisenough toholdpeopletowantingtodotherightthingbyoneanother.
Iamtryingtokeepmychildrensafe,notjustfromaninstitutionthathasbeenresponsibleforthe deathsofotherchildren,notjustfromthereductivenarrativesotherswillspin,notjustfromthe
propagandaofthepanopticonsinthepalmsofourhandsthatseektoconditionusevermoreto besurveilledandpatrolled
Butfromthedisenchantmentthatcomeswithrecognizingtheliesyouweresoldinyouryouth.
Iamtryingtokeepmychildrensafe,ataskthathashauntedandeludedeveryBlackmother since1619.
I’mtryingtowalkwithhimintounderstandingthatit’snotalwaysassimpleofaquestionas goodguysversusbadguys, Althoughsometimesitis thatouranalysisoftheworldshouldbeshadedwithgradations, thatratherthanaskingourselves,who’sthegoodguyorthebadguywillbeeverytime, wemustgrapplewithwhatdifferentiatesasystemthatoperatesforthewell-beingofallfrom onethatoperatesagainstit.
IwillkeeptellinghimthetruthasbestIcan.
I’mmadatmyselfbecauseI’minmycarfeelingsorryformyselfbecauseitwon’tstartand that’saminorinconvenienceinthegrandschemeofmylife.I’mmadatmyselfbecause meanwhileacrosstheworld,tensofthousandsofchildrenstarve,becauseinthepastyearanda half,I’veseenmorecorpsesofbabiesthanI’veimaginedwaspossible.Imadatmyselfbecause I’minmycarcryingaboutsomethingsomeaninglessasaminorinconveniencewhenIknow therearemothersgrievingtheirchildren,hopingtofindtheirremainsunderrubble,kissingthem inbodybags.
I’mmadatmyselfbecauseI’msittingherefeelinglikethere’snothingIcandotohelpallthe peopleI’mgrieving.
I’vespentthebetterpartofmylifetryingtofigureoutthequestionofages:whyisitthatwe comehere?Whatshouldwemakeofthishumanitywe’vebeengiven,andwhyhavesomany peoplethrowntheirsaway?
Maybetheanswertothisquandaryisthatitissimplytoomuch.It’stoomuchforushumans.It’s toomuchforthisplanet.Ourexistencewithinthesystemswehavebuilt,condonedandbecome complacentwithin,hasravagedthisplanet.Wewillleavebehindbillionsandbillionsoftonnes oftrashthatwilltakebillionsandbillionsofyearstodisintegrate,ifiteverdoes.Ourexistence, humanactivityandlife,hasbeenthemaincauseofextinctionoverthepastfewthousandyears. It’snowonder,then,howhumansthroughouttheirshortandtorridhistoryhavesowillinglyand gleefullyparticipatedintheextinctionofoneanother
Thereisnowaytobegintomeasuretheheartachethathasseepedintothisgroundsomany peoplehavewalkedanddiedfor,havebeenkilledonorfororinpursuitof.
AndsoI’mhereinmycar,myownpersonalpollutionstation,askingthisinvisibleforce,what we’vecometocallgod,“what’sgood?”I’mquestioningthesegodswe’vereliquishedour controlto,hopingtheyhavealltheanswers,knowingtheywillnot.
What’sthepointofanyofthis?Whyareanyofushere?Whydowecomeheretodothese things,tohurtourselvesandoneanother?Itisthequestionwe’vebeenmullingoversincewe firstcametoconsciousness.Why?Howdiditcometobeandwhydowekeepdoingit?
MymothertellsmewhenIwasareallysmallchild,probablythreeorfour,sometimesshewould findmecrying.Ofcourseshewouldask,“whathappened“or"what’sthematter?"TowhichI wouldreply,“nothing.”IwouldtellherIwascryingbecauseIwassadabouttheworld.Iwould tellherIwascryingbecausetheworldwassuchasadplaceandbecausesomanybadthings happenedtosomanygoodpeople.WhenIcameofage,Idecidedtheremustbenosuchthingas God,becauseIdidnotunderstandhowanyGodwouldallowsuchgruesomehistoriestounfold. IdidnotunderstandhowanyGodwouldallowhumanstobe,attimes,sogruesomelyhuman.
Andoveryearsandbooks,thatsadnessgrewintofury.Anger.IwasmadbecauseIhadarightot beandareasonandbecausethisworld orthissystemsofthisworldasweallowthemtoexist rather keptgivingmereasonstobemad.
I’mnotjustmadaboutthecarimsittinginwithnothingtodo,waitingforatowtruck.I’m sittinginmycarmad,notaboutthecar,butbecauseIamforcedtoreckonwiththeweightsI’ve beenattemptingtoignore.
It’saboutthefeelingofimmobility Theoppressivenatureofstuckness.Thefrustrationthat buildsfromtheinesacbleinabilitytodosomething, anything abouteverything.
I’mmadbecausethosechildrenarestarving.I’mmadbecausesomanychildrenhavebeenkilled notjustrightnowbutforever.I’mmadbecausetheyalldeserve(d)somuchbetter.I’mmad becausesomanybadthingshappentosuchgoodpeople.I’mmadbecauseweexist,andI’m madbecauseforaslongaswehaveexisted,wehavebeenplaguedbythisviolence.I’mmad
becausethenatureoflifedictatesthattherewillalwaysbesomeissue.Therewillalwaysbe somethingmoretolongfor.Wewillalwaysexperiencesomeformofpainorfrustration.I’m madbecausetherewillalwaysbesomeproblem.AndI’mmadaboutit.I’mmadbecauseGod, nomatterhowyouconceptualizethisentity,won’tstopusfrombeingsogruesomelyhuman.I’m madbecauseitreallyisuptoustostopourselvesandsaveothers. AndIknowthatthingscan’t beperfectbecauseperfectisnothingwithitsequalandoppositereflection butI’msofuckingmadrightnow.
Onthephonewiththeroadsideassistancecustomersupport,theycouldn’tfindmyaccount numberandIgotevenmadder I’msofuckingangry AndIlookatmyphoneandIseethese sickchildren,sickchildren,dying,beingstarvedandI’msofuckingmad.AndIkeepscrolling andIseethecharredbodiesofthiswoman’schildrenandI’MSOFUCKINGANGRY,because shewasatworkwhenherchildrenarriveddead.
IjuststarttoscreamandscreamandscreamandblaremyhornandscreamasloudasIcan,and afterallthatscreaming,Iwasstillsofuckingmad.
I’mmadateveryone.I’mmadatpeopleforbeingsuchheartlessfuckers.I’mmadatthe majorityforlettingourselvesgetscrewed.I’mmadatmyfellowcitizensandmycomradesfor notdoingenough.I’mmadatusforsettlinginplaceswedon’tbelongandforsettlingtowitness genocide.I’mmadatwhatwehavedecidedourchildrendeserve.I’mmadatusfallinginto complacencybecausewe’resofuckingafraidwe’regonnalosethelittlebitofbullshitwehave
tokeepuscomplacent.I’mmadtobelivinginatimeofmultiplegenocidesinthemostpowerful countryintheworld,whichisactivelycontributingtoeachoftheseatrocities.I’mmadtopay taxesthatwillbeusedtoburnchildrentodeath.I’mmadatpeopleforthinkingsolittleabout themselves,thattheybelievetheyhavetofeelbetterthanotherpeopletobeworthyofanything. I’mmadatpeopleforbeingfragileenoughtowanttohurtothers.I’mmadatusgrownupswho turntocollegestudentstoputtheirdegreesonthelinebecausewedon’thavethecouragetosay FUCKYOU.I’mfuckingangry.I’mmad.
I’msofuckingmadandIthinkaboutallthepeoplebeforemewhohavebeensofuckingmad. ThisangerisfromancestorswhoweremadbeforeIwaseverevenanotion.I’msofucking angryforallthepeoplewhohavediedonthisland forthislandorbecauseofthisland.
I’msofuckingangrybecauseastupidfuckingcar.AndI’mmadatmyselfforbeingmadabout somethingthatultimatelyintheschemeofmylife,andintheschemeofallofhumanhistory, won’tmatteratall.
Howdoesabookaboutabolitionendwithawomanangryinhercar?Howdoesaprojectabout prisonsendwithsomeonedismayedoveragenocide?
WeknowthatpriortoOctober2023,Gazawasknownastheworld’slargestopenairprison.
WeknowtheNYPD,thecounty’slargestpoliceforcewhichoncedboasteedaboutbeingthe seventhlargestarmyintheworld,trainswiththeIDF.Weknowmuchofthesamecapitalist surveillanceinfrastructurefromcompanieslikePalantirthatisusedtowagewarabroadisalso usedtobolsterthedomesticcarceralstate.Weknowhowintersectingandinterconnectedthese gruesomelyhumansystemsandstructuresofviolenceare.
Butbeyondthatliesthetrueessenceoftheseinquiries:Whatdoesittakeforustogettoapoint aspeoplewherewewanttoorbelieveinengagingintheseintersectingformsofgruesome violence? Whatdoesittakeforsomeofustogettoaplacewherewethinksolittleofothers,whichisto thinksolittleofourselves,thatweeventhinkofdoing,muchlessparticipatein,shitlikethat.
Ilookatthechildreninmyson’spreschoolclass,thekidsmykidsplaywithatthepark,the childrenIseeinvideosfromGaza,andtheyaresosweet.Theywanttorunandjumpandsmile andlaugh.Theywanttohugandbehuggedandeatsomethingyummyandaskamillion questions,andlearnsomethingnew.Theywanttosmile,andbekind,andempathetic,andheld. Noneofthemwanttoseeanyoneoranythinggethurt,muchlesstobetheonedoingthehurting.
AndIdon’tknowforcertain,asameremortal,theeyeofGodescapesme,butIhavetoimagine thatthevastmajorityofus,ifnoteverysingleoneofus,comesfromthis.Weallcomefromthis sweet,loving,caring,joyfulspace.Loveisourmostprofoundlyhumancharacteristic.Andif thatisourmostinherentnature,thenhowdosomeofusgettoaplacewheretheyareokaywith hurtingothers?Howdosomeofusgettoaplacewherewewanttoorbelieveinthisgruesome violence?Whereweacceptit.
Andso,I’mmadforthechildrenwhowillbeconditionedintothisviolenceifweallowit.
I’mmadforthechildrenwhowillbeandhavebeenhurtbyit.
I’mmadbecauseIcanbethismadaboutthismuchandnotfeelanymorepowerful.BecauseI canbethisbigbadmadandfeelsosmall.Becausethisangersitshotandheavyinmybellyand chestandscreamingandhittingandbegging,won’tgetridofit.BecauseIknowhurtingthe peoplewhohurtotherswon’tgetridofit.I’mmadbecausesomuchofthisangerhasbeen passedondowntogenerationslikeaplateatthedinnertable.
I’mmadbecauseIcouldbethismadandnotfeelanymorepowerful.BecauseIcanbethisbig badmadandfeelsosmall.
Iwanttoknowmore. Iwanttoknowitmeans,soIlooktoitsorigin.
Thewordangercomesfromgrief.Tobeangryistogrieve.Itmakessomuchsense.Thisanger isnothingmorethangriefandsadnessmasqueradingitselftofeellarger,tolookscarier.Itmakes somuchsense.Thisisnothingmorethantheremnantsofsufferingandpainandagonywith nowheretogo,unaddressedandlefttofester,togethotandspillover.Likeachildinamonster costumeyellingboo,thissadnessjustwantstopretend,tomakebelieveit’sbiggerandin control.Sowhatdowedowiththisanger,withallthisgriefleftover?
Ithinkofholdingallthisanger,theimmensityofitsweight.Ithinkaboutthethingsthatanger canmakepeopledoandcandrivethemtowards.IthinkofRodneyHintonJr.,andallthegrief passedoffasangerthathemusthavecarriedinthe24hoursbetweenseeinghissonget murderedbyacopandthendecidingthemurderacophimself.
Whatdowedowiththisanger,withallthisgriefleftover?
WritingaboutthesocialandcosmologicalframeworksofthetraditionalDagaracommunitiesof BurkinaFaso,authorandspiritualteacher,MalidomaPatriceSomé,writes,“Inthevillage,there isanopportunitytogrievedaily.”Hewritesaboutthevilage’sindigenouscustomsandextensive funeralritesthatlastweeks,sometimesmonth,wherethecommunitygatherspublicly,People, cry,shout,danceandgrieffordaysonend,andinthisextensiveprocessofembodiedgrieving, theweightofthatsadnessisinasenselifted,itisnotlefttofesterandrotandbecomehotlike rage.
Whatwouldthatlooklikethiscontext?InworldthatvastlydiffersfromSomésmall,closeknit village,inacontextofcyclicalgruesomeviolence?Howcouldwealleviatetheweightofthis griefpassedoffasanger?
Iforgetmyangerforamoment,asIgetouttowalkaround.Ismile.IlaughatsomebadjokeI tellmyself.ThenIopenmyappandIseeapictureofthecutestlittleboythathiscat.Hisolder brotherwritesthattheyhadbothbeenkilled,andthistimeinsteadthepasengerofangerdoesn’t
come.OnlythegriefshowsupandIcryforthislittleboy.AndIcry.AndIcryforallthe children.AndIcryforallthereasonI’mmad.AndImournhumanity. Inthecomments,therearesomecruelZionistscallingformoredeath,mockingthislittleboy’s memory,questioningitsvalidity.
IaskmyselfoftenifthereisaplaceforeveryoneintheworldasIimagineit.It’sadifficult question.AndsomethingIstrugglewithbutIultimatelythinkit’snecessarytoacknowledgethat therearesomeheinouspeopleouttherewhohavelearnedtohurtothersandhavecometoenjoy itandmanypeoplewhocommitandsupportgenocidelikehurtingothers.AndIcanempathize withallthemanyreasonstheymayhaveendedupthere,butIdothinkthereisapointofno return.
Ithinkeveryonecanchangeiftheywantto.Istrugglealotwiththisasasomeonewhoconsiders myselfanabolitionist.Butultimately,IdothinkmostpeopleareredeemablebutIseethevideos ofthatonesettlerladygleefullytalkingaboutkillingallPalestiniansandIhavetorealizethat shewillneverchangebecauseshedoesn’twantto.It’sadeeplyphilosophicalquestion,butif one’sconceptoftheirownhumanityisembeddedinanotionofsomeoneelseaslessthan human,thenitbecomessodifficulttoovercome.Ialsostrugglewiththisasaparent.I’man abolitionistbutatthesametime,theideaofsomeoneeverhurtingoneofmychildrenmakesmy bloodboilandIhavetorecognizehowdifficultanaskitistoimagineanyparentforgivingor engaginginreparativejusticewithanyonewhohurtstheirchild.
Incollege,attheteachins,myabolitioniststudentgroupwouldhold,we’dalwaysgetsome variationofthisquestion:Whatifsome[insertgruesomeviolentacthere]?Whatdowedoif someonedoessomethingheinousandtherearenomoreprisons? Mycomradeswouldusuallytoutsomeambiguousideaofrestorativeortransformativejustice thatwewereincrediblyunpreparedtoengagein.
Butmyanswertodayisdifferent.Inmyabolitionistfuture,peopledon’tperpetuatethesame sortsofgruesomeviolence,becausethesystemsthatrestuponthosegruesomeviolencesdon’t exist.
Myanswer,inthewordsofSomé,“‘requiresrediscoveringanimaginationtheWestonly attributestochildrenandmadmen(3)”
I’mnotanabolitionistbecauseIbelievethatsomeonewhohasbeenabusedorviolatedshouldbe forcedtoengageinareparativejusticeprocesswiththeirabuser IamabolitionistbecauseIbelieveinthepossibilityofworldwherenooneisabusedorviolated. Wherethesemodesofviolencedieoutlikespeciesthatcannotsurvive.
Whereweevolvepastthesinsofourforefiguresandthosewhomayhavehurtusandcommitto thehealingworkthatmakesusneverwanttohurtanyoneelse,andrealizehowunnecessaryso muchofthisviolenceisoncewemovebeyondthesystemsthatcreateandperpetuateit.
I’manabolitionistbecauseIbelieveafuturewithoutexploitation,withoutviolence,without assault,withoutneglectispossible.
Weshouldblamethepatriarchyforsexualassaultasmuchasanyindividual.Weshouldblame structuresofeconomicoppressionandexploitationforanytheftasmuchasanyindividual.We shouldblameaculturethatlaudsgunsandpromotesimagesofviolenceinthemediawhile ignoringthementalhealthofitscitizensforanymassshootingasmuchasanyindividual.The crimeswefearthemostaredirectconsequencesofasocietythatperpetuatesviolentideologies andhierarchies.Thissystemandtheidealsandcultureitperpetuatesarecomplicitinallthe crimesitdisobeys.Whenweshiftourgazeandrecognizeourcollectivecomplicityincreating andupholdingthestructuresthatcreatecrime,werecognizeourcollectiveresponsibilityin engenderingnewversionsoftheworldandabolitionistfuturesthatmakesystemslikeprisons andpolicingobsoletebymakingtheconditionsoftheviolencethosesystemsupholdand perpetuateunimaginable.Theseindigenouscosmologiesdidn’trelyonprisonsasapunitive reactiontoharmortheviolenceofpolicingtoinducealogicoffear.Instead,theyemphasized buildingsocietalstructuresthatsupportedthewellbeingofindividualssothattherewasnoneed ordesiretoperpetuateharmonothersortoreplicateharmperpetuatedononeself.Bantu cosmologiesregardedprivatelandownershipandexcessivewealthat“[a]levelofaccumulation [that]cannotcomewithoutexploitation,”asthemostseriouscrime.Itwasthecommunity’s responsibilitytosupporttheeconomic,social,mental,emotional,physicalandspiritual wellbeingofallcommunitymembers,toengenderasenseofbelongingandbeingthatopposed thesortofsystemicviolenceandexploitationwhichcreatescrimeinthefirstplace.Bydoing this,cyclesofharmcouldbeavoided.
Re-envisioningandco-creatingasocietywhereindividualshadthesupporttonotreplicateharm andtraumawasacollectiveresponsibilityandspiritualimperative.Inourpresentcontext,there’s animmensityoftraumaandharmtohealfrominthisprocessoferadicatingtheseviolencesfrom oursociety.Abolitionisnotjustapoliticalidea.Abolitionrequiresaprocessofcosmological transformationthatisbothindividualandcollective.Ifweshiftedourperspectivestorecognize crime,harmandviolenceasevidenceofasystem’sfailingsandtorealizethecollective responsibilitywehavetooneanother’swellbeingandcreatingsystemsthatsupportour wellbeing,healingandcare,whatre-envisioningcouldwedo?Whatnewsystemscouldwe build?What“constellationofalternativestrategiesandinstitutions,”asDavisdescribesit,might bepossible?
Manyofourancestorshavealreadylivedversionsofourliberatedfutures.Indigenous cosmologiesconsideredtheholisticfactorswhichmadehavecontributedtoindividual transgressionsandintegratedsocialstructuresthatwouldmitigatethepotentialofharmand violencewithintheircommunitiesbysupportingtheholisticneedsandwellbeingofthe collective.Whenwerememberthis,weunderstandnomatterhowfarawaytheymayseemnow, ourpresentdreamsareinheritedwisdoms.Itbecomesthatmucheasiertoimagineafuture withoutprisonsofpoliceoncewerealizethepaststhathavealreadyexisted.Abolitionrequires dismantlingsystemsofoppressionintheirentirety.Abolitionalsorequiresasenseofcommunity thatiswillingtoaddressharmatitsrootcauses,notmerelypenalizeitafterithappens.Abolition dependsonacollectivesenseofaccountabilityandresponsibility.Fromtheperspectiveofthe cosmologiesoftheBântu-Kôngo,theabolitionofprisonsandpolicingisnotanimpossibly
utopicfuturedream,itisatangiblepreexistingrealityandancestralwisdom,whichhasbeen practicedforcenturies.
Mymothertoldwecan’talwaysgetwhatweprayforandIresponded,“IalwaysgeteverythingI prayfor.”
IamabolitionistbecauseIwantitallunabashedlyandwithoutshame.
AndIbelieveweshouldallhaveitall.IamanabolitionistbecauseIbelievethechildrenofthe worlddeservebetter IamabolitionistbecauseIbelievetheydeserveitall.
Notinthematerialsensethatwearetaughttostrivebutinthesenseofsafety,inthesenseof love,ofjustice,ofeaseandlightandgoodness.
IamabolitionistbecauseIbelievethatIdeserveitall thatmychildrendeserveitallandthateveryoneelse’sdotoo
IamabolitionistbecauseIbelieveviolenceistaughtbutititnotinherenttoournature becauseIbelievewecaneradicatesotheviolencewehavecometostomach
BecauseIbelieveinthepossibilityofaworldwithouttheftorrapeormurderorhatred
AndI’msofuckingmadbecausesomanyofushavebeenconditionedtolosethesortof childlike,madmanimaginationrequiredtocreatethatworld.Toseebeyondthetreesconfining us.Torealizethatworldswithoutprisonsarenotonlypossible,buthistoricalfact
Toreconnectwiththegroundswellofloveandlightweallcomefrom.
I’msofuckingmadbecausewedeservebetter,wedeserveitall.
Callmenaiveorcallmebrave
Wedeserveitall
Safehomesandsafeschools
Bodieswedon’thavetofearwill
Beabused
Iamabolitionistbecausetherearenolimitsonmyimagination
BecauseIdaretodreamtheimpossible,andtoknowitcanhappen.