Top three factors for families starting fly-in, fly-out By Angie Willcocks, Mining Family Matters psychologistbb Is the fly-in, fly-out (FIFO) lifestyle bad for families? It’s a question I’m frequently asked by people (often outside the mining industry) who are intrigued by the concept of working thousands of miles away from home. The answer is yes and no. Some families love the lifestyle and say it’s brought them much closer together while helping them to achieve their financial and career goals. Others say it’s the biggest mistake they’ve ever made. It’s definitely true, though, that all FIFO families have it rough sometimes (just like every other family on the planet!). And when tough times happen, it helps enormously to know they’re not alone. For families just starting out in FIFO, or contemplating the lifestyle, below are the top three factors worth considering. 1. S ome individuals and families cope better than others This probably seems obvious, but in my six years with Mining Family Matters, I’ve been really fascinated to see certain themes emerging time and time again. People who cope well with working away (or with their partner working away) tend to: • See working away as a positive choice that is helping their family achieve important and shared goals; • Have a positive, problem-solving approach to the inevitable problems that arise; • Have practical support from extended family, friends or paid help; and • Prioritize looking after themselves, both physically and emotionally. 2. Working away can make existing problems worse Underlying problems like mental health issues, relationship problems, excessive drug or alcohol use and physical health problems can worsen with the demands of working away. All individuals and families have issues to deal with, and adding in an extra stress like working away can tip the balance if there is not a plan in place to manage whatever the issues are. Pretending problems don’t exist won’t help. The good news is that there’s never been more help available. Use the help to identify and address any personal or family problems that you face. Become the best version of yourself and reap the rewards.
3. Simple strategies can help people cope better, and these can be learned Once upon a time, psychologists thought that people were either born resilient or not. We now know that what we call resilience is a set of skills like any other set of skills. They can be taught, people can learn them and practice will improve them. Key coping skills are: • Problem-solving. Instead of just worrying, resilient people tend to get on and try to work out solutions to problems they face. • Recognizing what is happening in one’s thinking, and making the choice to avoid thinking traps like catastrophizing (“I’ve had the worst week ever”), over-generalizing (using “always” and “never” when the reality is “sometimes”) and snowballing (when one thing leads to another in your thinking and you end up with a bigger and worse problem than you started with). • Asking for and accepting support and help from others, including family, friends and professionals (yes, this is a skill that can be practised). • Recognizing the good things in life. This can be practised through exercises such as writing down three good things at the end of each day. • Good communication. Good communication skills contribute to positive relationships both at work and at home, and good relationships help people cope better with tough times.
For further expert advice on mining and exploration relationships and parenting, visit the Mining Family Matters website at www.miningfm.ca. Spring 2016
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