On The Coast Families June/July 2022 Winter edition

WELLBEING

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PA R E N T I N G

on the

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LIFEST YLE

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I N S P I R AT I O N

coast YOURS FREE

#118 JUNE/JULY 2022

FAMILIES Nutrition to help anxiety preparing to buy your

first property Getting your

” k c a b y d o b y b a b “preis not what Mother Nature intended

CENTRAL COAST’S FAVOURITE FAMILY MAGAZINE

Ray White Long Jetty Local representation of Australia’s largest real estate brand

Buying | Selling | Leasing | Appraisals Contact Ray White Long Jetty today.

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ON T H E C OA S T – FA MILIES

Ray White Long Jetty 02 4360 4360 longjetty.nsw@raywhite.com raywhitelongjetty.com.au

Welcome

Inside 8

The Reading Corner

I’m sure many are in the same situation – it is almost half way through the year and you feel like you almost haven’t stopped to take a breath. We feel you, it has been a very busy beginning of the year for us. So after many requests from the kids to go to the ‘big zoo’, we took the opportunity to make a holiday of it and visit the Western Plains Zoo at Dubbo. Switching off (as best we could), connecting with our kids and each other, resting and enjoying the outdoors... it was absolutely wonderful. The kids loved the zoo, we hired a buggy to drive around in, which definitely added to the excitement.

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Six ways to style your scarf

The challenge now, as the break feels more and more like a distant memory, is to retain all the ‘good feels’ that come from this type of connection and create some permanent ‘space’ in the busyness of life at home. Life easily gets so busy and we get caught up in the stuff, rather than being intentional with our precious time.

10 Getting your “pre–baby

We hope you find the time to create some space in your busy life to connect with the ones you cherish most – make it a priority and it will nourish your soul!

Take care and live well Coasties xx

Tanzie & Luke

Art Director/Editor Tanzie Carpenter tanzie@onthecoastpublications.com.au Production Luke Carpenter luke@onthecoastpublications.com.au Publisher Tanzie Carpenter / 0414 611 851 Luke Carpenter / 0405 449 339 trading as On the Coast Publications ABN 52 212 212 482 PO Box 3251, Bateau Bay NSW 2261 For article contribution enquiries tanzie@onthecoastpublications.com.au

body back” is not what Mother Nature intended

12 Nutrition to help anxiety 16 The benefits of rough and tumble play

18 10 ways dialectical behavioural therapy can change your life

Printing Spotpress Pty Ltd / 02 9549 1111 Cover image One Million Canaries Photography @onemillioncanaries Imagery ingimage.com and freepik.com Contributors Jess Sanford, Jordi Woods, Sam Woods, Louise Hurley, Clare Marcangelo, Alita Blanchard, Alexandra Wilson, Christina Batey, Cathy Spooner, Amanda Irvin, Diana Arundell, Sarah Tolmie onthecoastpublications.com.au

20 Vitamin D: how to have fun in the sun!

22 Raising neuro–divergent children

24 Preparing to buy your first property

26 Post viral illness and long haul Covid – Are you over feeling unwell?

30 Matters of Life & Love

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Warranty & Indemnity

Advertisers and/or advertising agencies upon and by lodging material with the Publisher for publication or authorising or approving of the publication of any material INDEMNIFY the Publisher, its servants and agents against all liability claims or proceedings whatsoever arising from the publication and without limiting the generality of the fore–going to indemnify each of them in relation to defamation, slander of title, breach of copyright, infringement of trademarks or names of publication titles, unfair competition or trade practices, royalties or violation of rights or privacy AND WARRANT that the material compiles with all relevant laws and regulations and that its publication will not give rise to any rights against or liabilities in the Publisher, its servants or agents and in particular that nothing therein is capable of being misleading or deceptive or otherwise in breach of Part V of the Trade Practices Act 1974. The views expressed in On the Coast – Families are not necessarily those of the editor or publishing staff. While every effort has been made to insure accuracy of the information in this publication, no responsibility will be accepted by On the Coast – Families. No part of this publication may be reproduced without permission of the publisher.

Check out past articles at onthecoastfamilies.com.au @onthecoastfamilies JUNE/JULY – ISSUE 118

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Erina

Ice Arena

Erina Ice Arena invites you and your family to our Winter Castle experience this July school holidays.

Meet and greet with our princess during the 11.30 session. Tickets are $18 per child, and $22 per adult. Family tickets are $70. NSW Parents vouchers can be redeemed at our cashier.

OTHER SCHOOL HOLIDAY ACTIVITIES School Holiday Camp – Create cool memories this school holidays with a fun and exciting ice skating adventure. We guarantee an experience your kids will love while learning skills they’ve always dreamed of in our School Holiday Camp.

Classes run from 9.30am to 11am Monday to Friday every school holidays.

Children will be split into groups to skate with other children of similar age and ability. 3–6 year olds will be excited to enter the Playgroup class full of fun activities that assist with building their on ice confidence and skating capabilities.

Cost: $15 per session. Children aged 7–15 will participate in progressive classes to challenge themselves and build on their skills. Cost: $30 per session.

ICE HOCKEY GAMES Australian International Ice Hockey Cup will be running games throughout the July School Holidays. Canada vs Sweden for 2022.

Dates: July 9th & 10th 3.30pm puck drop July 16th & 17th 3.30pm puck drop.

Tickets: https://events.ticketbooth.com. au/event/international-ice-hockey-cupcanada-vs-sweden.

“

We guarantee an experience your kids will love while learning skills they’ve always dreamed of in our School Holiday Camp.

Disco: Every Friday and Saturday night from 7.30–10.00pm. The coolest Disco party on the coast. Tickets are only $15. Birthday party bookings welcome.

Birthday Parties: If you are looking for somewhere awesome for your child’s upcoming birthday party, check out our all inclusive party packages.

Including a host to supervise, a private group lesson, meals, drinks and lolly bags for the guests, a beautifully themed party room – the kids will have a ball. Oh, if you don’t want the hassle of organising a birthday cake – we can do that for you too!

Shop A08 Erina Fair, Terrigal Dr, Erina NSW 2250 Phone: 0409 504 896 info@erinaicearena.com.au erinaicearena.com.au

JUNE/JULY – ISSUE 118

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Life’s big (and little) questions, answered on stage!

They asked. You answered.

The next generation is about to drop some truths... and the mic. A group of Central Coast kids are set to take centre stage at The Art House Wyong in a hilarious, heart– felt and high–energy show where generations collide.

I’ve Been Meaning to Ask You is a unique collaboration between The Art House and Jopuka Productions to give young actors on the Central Coast a chance to be part of a professional project of large scale.

Coined a ‘crowd–sourced performance work’, I’ve Been Meaning to Ask You engages the experiences of young people in each location that it tours as

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Photo by Stephen Henry

an integral part of the artistic process.

The cast will work with show creators The Good Room to develop their skills and confidence through workshops and

rehearsals all the way to performance.

Audiences young and old will love the fun and revealing one–hour tell–all

Q&A style show where the kids deliver the answers that adults gave to all their burning questions!

Why do you have to go to work?

How come adults drink to have fun?

What was life like before the Internet?

Is 50 too old to learn to surf?

Winner of Best Production for Young People at the 2021 Sydney Theatre Awards, I’ve Been Meaning to Ask You is both a wonderful way to support young budding actors, and reflect on the exchange of knowledge between young and old. The show combines music, dance, and Q&A with high impact video design built around three key conversation points – what you’ve been told, what you know to be true, and what you want to believe. Audiences are often wowed at the unexpected wisdom also shared from the kids themselves, and will no doubt nostalgically reminisce at favourite songs, pop–culture references, and moments in history that play out on stage.

The Art House and Jopuka are thrilled to bring the opportunity to the Central Coast, I’ve Been Meaning to Ask

“

Why do you have to go to work?

How come adults drink to have fun?

What was life like before the Internet?

Is 50 too old to learn to surf?

THE ARTHOUSE WYONG

Photo by Stephen Henry

You is such a vibrant celebration of youth agency and expression. We know the Central Coast will love this work and are thrilled to be partnering with The Art House to give so many young performers from across the region a once in a lifetime opportunity. Our biggest hope is that those who need to hear what these young people have to say – are listening” says Joshua Maxwell, Artistic Director of Jopuka Productions.

The Art House with Jopuka Productions presents – A Critical Stages Touring production:

Take a trip down memory lane and let the kids do the talking at I’ve Been Meaning to Ask You, at The Art House Wyong for three performances this July.

thearthousewyong.com.au phone 02 4335 1485

I’ve Been Meaning to Ask You Created by the Good Room Sat 16 July – 2PM + 7:30PM Sun 17 July – 2PM Tickets: Adult $35 Concession/Student $31 Child Under 12 $25

LOCAL KIDS QUIZ THE ADULTS ON STAGE - JULY 16+17

G RIN AL R !

A ST NTR KIDS E C ST A CO

BOOK ONLINE www.thearthousewyong.com.au 02 4335 1485 JUNE/JULY – ISSUE 118

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reading

the corner

BY JESSICA SANFORD

TREEHOUSE TALES Author Andy Griffiths Illustrated by Terry Denton If you have young readers in your house and have heard of Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton, there’s a chance you’ve been awaiting the release of this book, their latest funny story collection, Treehouse Tales, which just came out in March (2022). Their previous works, including the ever–popular Treehouse Series – that centres around a magical ever–expanding treehouse full of

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wild and wonderful nooks – has had children in stitches for years. My two children are still little, so this latest one, Treehouse Tales, is the first book of Andy and Terry’s to come into our repertoire.

We read the kids some of the stories at bedtime a few weeks back and they were both in stitches – sometimes rolling off the bed and onto the floor! One story – The Day We Put Chairs Up Our Noses – is a particular favourite and since the first reading is almost always requested.

The book includes 13 brand new stories, “too silly to be told…until now!”.

The tales are short enough that they are perfect for little attention spans, but there’s enough of them that you can keep the laughs going if the mood strikes!

The stories include quirky illustrations on every page. Plus, another feature I liked is the large size of the font. All the font used is quite large, but some words and short sentences are even bigger than the rest – and in bold. This is great for little ones that might be starting to recognise a few words and older children that are starting to read their first longer books.

I’ve really enjoyed seeing the kids giggle at bedtime – it’s such a nice way to connect after a busy day. I have a feeling we will be going through the Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton back catalogue too!

Happy reading families!

Jessica Sanford (AKA Jessica Anscombe) is a librarian and writer living on the Central Coast.

She has a passion for literature and writes fiction and non–fiction. Jessica was the winner of the Wyong Writers’ 2021 Short Story Competition and has also been longlisted for the Furious Fiction prize. You can read her short stories on her website jessicasanfordwriter.com. You’ll also find her over on instagram @jessicasanford_

style your scarf

VIBRANT CONCEPTS

Six ways to

BY SAM AND JORDI WOODS

styling fun always ensure your scarf:

is in a colour that flatters your complexion and features i.e. warm or cool, high or low contrast, clear, muted or dusty compliments your body frame i.e. petite, medium, statuesque or long, short or even torso is in a pattern or print that makes you smile! can update or give a fresh look to your existing wardrobe items

Looped & long

It always fascinates us how a simple accessory can be so versatile and stylish. For this reason one of our favourite styling tools for Winter is the fashionable and functional scarf!

Style up your outfit, stay cosy and transform your look with these 6 simple scarf styling techniques.

TIP Before you do embark on some

Wrapped up

This article we are showcasing one of our favourite “new in” check scarves that is perfect for every palette as it combines both warm and cool neutral tones.

Style 1 – The “Snood” Great for those who want to create the illusion of a shorter torso, draw the eye to their upper body and show off their waist.

Style 2 – Long & Relaxed If you need to add length to your upper body and elongate your torso, this style technique will create a vertical focus and give a “relaxed” look. Perfect for camouflaging a fuller bust and/or tummy too!

here is to have edges finish at different points to create shape and add angles to the body balance. Great style technique to “uneven” a silhouette that is even distance shoulder to hip/ hip to floor!

Style 4 – Belted This style isn’t an easy one as not everyone can wear waisted belts.

If you are able to wear a belt, then feature this look in your wardrobe, if you cannot wear a belt the “Long & Relaxed” style is the way to go.

Style 5 – Wrapped Up Fabulous for after 5 and evening wear as this look is chic yet warm! Your scarf can also be secured with another trending accessory – the vintage brooch!

Style 6 – Around A Bag This styling tip is great for those days when you get hot, then cold, then hot again… wrapping a scarf around a bag is an easy way to add colour/print to your look and have an added warm layer in case you need it.

Happy scarf styling!

Vibrant yours, Sam & Jordi Woods xx

Style 3 – Looped & Long A personal fav of mine (Jordi). A trick

The “Snood”

Belted

Long & relaxed

Around a bag

The scarf featured is from the Vibrant Concepts Style Studio Understanding styling and fashion is one thing. Having a super–natural flair for making everyday people look incredible is another. Once you’ve met Sam & Jordi Woods, it’s hard not to catch their infectious passion for dressing to match your own lifestyle, personality and charisma. Through their consultancy ‘Vibrant Concepts’, Sam & Jordi have transformed the lives of thousands. Let Sam & Jordi show you how to look and feel fabulous everyday at their Style Studio in Erina – learn the art of illusion dressing, colour matching, styling, translating fashion trends and savvy shopping with their unique VC Signature Styling Systems and services that are truly personal and really work! To contact Vibrant Concepts phone 0425 221 676.

JUNE/JULY – ISSUE 118

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” k c a b y d o b y b a b “preGetting your

is not what Mother Nature intended

BY LOUISE HURLEY

Personally, I’d like to delete the phrase “get my/your pre– baby body back” from our society’s vocabulary. It’s a goal that many mums tell me they want to work towards, and in general it means feeling the pressure to get back to the same weight, the same clothes size or the same body shape as they were pre–pregnancy.

In my opinion, I believe that it’s an unfair expectation and can actually be damaging to a mother’s physical and mental health. Here’s why…

A mother’s body goes through significant physical changes when growing and birthing a baby. Her internal organs rearrange themselves to make room for her growing baby, her uterus had to stretch to 500 times its pre–pregnancy size and the joints in her pelvis had to become wide enough for her baby’s head to fit through (even if she had a c–section birth, her pelvis would still have changed) Whilst some changes, such as pelvic floor dysfunction, are temporary (when the correct rehabilitation route is taken), other changes are longer

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lasting or permanent, for example, hip width, thickness of connective tissue, breast shape, shape of abdominal muscles, internal and external scarring, skin elasticity and skin texture. With all of this in mind you can surely see how unrealistic the goal to return to a pre–baby body is Being a parent is HARD WORK most days, and for a lot of mums there’s a pressure to always be on top of their motherhood game (wearing clean clothes, hair done, not looking tired when actually they’re exhausted, taking their little one to all of the baby classes, making healthy meals, and so on). Throwing in the unrealistic expectation that they should look like they haven’t had a baby is going to add extra strain to a mum’s mental load and become one more thing they feel that they’re not doing well enough.

It was never Mother Nature’s intention for mums to bounce back and look like they haven’t had a baby. A mum’s body is meant to look different to what it was, because it IS different.

If there’s one thing I hope that you take away from this article it’s that different is not the same as bad or worse. Different is just different.

So why do so many women feel that they should be working towards getting their pre–baby body back? Here is what I’ve noticed from working with mums

over the years and being active on social media: In today’s society and our typical western culture, there’s a lot of pressure in the media to “bounce back” or return to pre–pregnancy weight, shape and size. This message may not always be obvious, but think about all the cellulite creams, firming lotions, stretch mark treatments and weight loss products that are advertised with mums as the target audience All too often we see “before and after” posts on social media. The way a person is posing for the photo, the lighting used or filters added are all used to enhance the illusion of the “after” photo, making the goal of matching up this standard extremely unrealistic The language people use can have a big impact. The words “you don’t even look like you’ve had a baby” are often given as a compliment (I

“

Throwing in the unrealistic expectation that they should look like they haven’t had a baby is going to add extra strain to a mum’s mental load

have certainly been guilty of this in the past, before becoming a mum’s fitness professional) and women are often praised when they fit into their pre–pregnancy jeans just weeks after having a baby. Before I go on, I want to make clear that there is nothing wrong with fitting into your pre–pregnancy jeans after having a baby. My point is that using it as a compliment or using it as a goal is usually not helpful.

Let’s be realistic, for mums to accept and love the changes in their body after having children will feel impossible some days, but I do believe that all mums should learn to take the time to respect and appreciate what their body has done and what it’s capable of doing. It’s easier said than done, so for any mums striving to get their pre–baby body back, here’s my advice on what to leave behind and what to focus on: DON’T BELIEVE ALL THAT YOU SEE ON SOCIAL MEDIA Before and after photos on social media often use angles, lighting and filters to make the after photo look different. Ask yourself this, “What positive impact does this person/social media account/service/ product have on my life?” If it makes you feel as though your body is flawed in the way it currently looks then unfollow the account. You have the power to turn away from it and choose what you see and read.

UNDERSTAND YOUR BIRTH STORY Even if you gave birth years ago, once

you’re postnatal, you’ll always be postnatal. Understanding what your body went through during pregnancy and birth can help you become more compassionate towards your body and you can better understand your recovery.

DON’T FOCUS YOUR MENTAL ENERGY ON YOUR WEIGHT, SIZE, SHAPE OR BMI. They are not accurate measurements of health. A healthy body does not only come in one size or shape (despite what social media will have you believe). Instead, focus on getting a fully functioning pelvic floor, or reducing back pain, increasing muscle mass and fitness

so that you can chase your children or increase bone density.

BE CLEAR ON YOUR GOALS AND THEN ASK YOURSELF “WHY” Why is this goal important to you? Keep asking yourself “why” until you can really get to the bottom of your goal. You may find that you change your goal once you get to the true reason.

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE SELF–CARE Investing time, energy or money into self–care reinforces to yourself and your family that you are worthy and that you are enough.

Louise Hurley – As a MumSafe™ trainer and Pregnancy and Postnatal Corrective Exercise Specialist, Louise’s mission is to help mums at every stage of motherhood safely start or return to exercise.

Louise is the owner of Strong Mums and runs small group training and 1:1 PT. Find out more at www.strongmums.com or on social media @strongmumsgosford.

JUNE/JULY – ISSUE 118

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Nutrition to help anxiety

BY CLARE MARCANGELO

In the past, having an anxious child may have been something a parent chose to hide for fear of being judged, or their child treated unfairly, as it was not seen commonly, or at least not commonly discussed.

This is no longer the case. Now more than ever, children are experiencing high stress and diagnosis of anxiety is on the rise. Because of this new era of understanding and prioritising mental health, there are many supports available for our children to enable them to manage their feelings.

As parents and carers however, we can almost feel powerless to help them on a day to day basis, so thankfully there are many things we can do at home that make a difference. Using nutrition to support neurotransmitters and blood sugar stability can make a difference to our children. The following a simple ways to start in your kitchen.

Cut the Sugar Whether it’s spiking or dipping refined sugar can really influence your child’s mood. Continually snacking on sugar laden or even just simple carbohydrate foods causes too many big ups and downs in blood sugar levels. For some children, their “hangry” can be extreme emotional dysregulation. Adding good fats and proteins to meals/ snacks will help stabilise things. Refined sugar itself can

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ON T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES

have an excitatory effect on the brain and nervous system so opting for natural derivatives is a much better choice.

sugary snacks fried foods, and refined carbohydrates like pastry biscuits and white bread.

Feel good foods Try foods containing tryptophan to boost your child’s mood. Tryptophan is a precursor to both Melatonin (for sleep) and Serotonin (the good feeling chemical). Try foods like chicken, pork, and Turkey, edamame, nuts and nut butters, dairy foods and oat porridge.

What about my fussy eater?

This can be tricky but start slow and use weekends as a great time to gently transition from one problematic food to a more calming one. When in doubt, don’t add more stress. If change is just too much for your child, little short cuts like milkshakes or smoothies can be used to hide things we can’t get away with on a plate.

Keeping them well Unfortunately, chronic stress can lead to inflammation, which is the body’s reaction to any stressor which can potentially affect the immune system.

Certainly not something we want to see happen right now. Winter brings the usual virus’s but many of us may have a somewhat lowered immune system if we have recently been unwell.

To compensate for this, try to give your child as many anti inflammatory foods as possible, such as olive oil, oily fish, nuts and berries like blueberries and oranges. Its important to avoid

“

Now more than ever, children are experiencing high stress and diagnosis of anxiety are on the rise.

Every little whole food you swap for a sugary or artificial additive laden food makes a difference to their health and wellbeing, so its OK to aim for better, not for perfect.

Clare Marcangelo is a local registered Nutritionist and former Early Childhood practitioner who specialises in children’s health. As a mum herself, she knows how hard it can be to make even the smallest of changes to a family diet.

SPECIALISING IN CHILDHOOD BEHAVIOURAL ISSUES, LEARNING AND ANXIETY.

To book, call 0404 795 677 or for more information visit childrensnutritionist.com.au

Covered by most private health funds

Working with families for over 20 years ATMS29747 ABN 89456352713

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more than ever is time the time to to look after owNow more Now than more ever than isever the is the totime look after look after health and this starts with your smile. ouryour health your health andthan this and starts this starts your with smile. your smile.

Now more ever is with the time to look after your health and this starts with your smile.

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y d d e t a f o value The

in times of trauma

In a disaster what we hold to be normal or the usual is disrupted, and people are left with a huge amount of uncertainty and experience a range of emotions, from shock to grief, to anger and sadness.

transitional objects, the objects that ease the stress and anxiety of separation as a child, and they become familiar to us and hold meaning. Familiarity is very important in disasters; it might be a Red Cross emblem or something else. When someone sees something familiar, they feel at ease, and safe. Teddies are very good at doing this.

It was no different in the devastating floods that hit northern New South Wales earlier this year. Families were forced out of their inundated homes and into evacuation centres, and relief and recovery hubs, often with confused and worried children in tow, and not much else.

Hundreds of the trademarked teddies, stockpiled for easy access, were taken to the flood affected areas. They were handknitted by knitting groups across the Central Coast, the Northern region, Newcastle, and Coffs Harbour, who cast–on knowing that what they do are doing is so much more than just following a pattern.

At times like these, a simple gesture can go a long way. For the Red Cross that gesture is to give the children needing comfort a Trauma Teddy.

Handed out by volunteers, the small gesture of kindness belies the work of what is a large network of people, knitting away at home, so they can help put a child at ease, or at least give them something to hug.

Volunteers grab bags of teddies as they race out the door to respond the latest disaster that has hit. One volunteer recently told me how a friendly air steward allowed the Trauma Teddies to fly first–class to the flood zone, when there was limited room where the volunteer was seated on the plane. Nice work teddies!

We know how much we all relate to teddies. These are what we call

Over a million children have cuddled a trauma teddy since they were first

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ON T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES

started at the Red Cross, 30 years ago.

During the Queensland floods in 2011, my (then) small children would ask me on the phone how many trauma teddies had we handed out that day. We had to start counting them.

Standing 12 inches high, each one takes about 5 hours to knit, by our calculations that is a staggering 250,000 hours of knitting every year and a mind blowing 7.5 million volunteer hours over the past three decades.

The cuddly character was the brainchild of a superintendent at a Victorian ambulance station who saw the calming affect a normal teddy bear had on a child who was being treated by a paramedic. He came to the Red Cross with the idea and the rest is history. A

“

Over a million children have cuddled a trauma teddy since they were first started at the Red Cross, 30 years ago

suitable pattern was conceived, and a team of knitters and stuffers began production.

The benefit goes both ways. Crafts such as knitting give people a sense of purpose, helping them feel less anxious and deal with the uncertainty that is surrounding them and their community, whether it be hyper local or a broader sense of watching your countrymen suffer.

While a lot of love goes into the work, there are also stringent guidelines as only a safe and strong teddy can become

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The benefit goes both ways. Crafts such as knitting give people a sense of purpose, helping them feel less anxious and deal with the uncertainty that is surrounding them a Red Cross Trauma Teddy, so it can withstand all the hugging and often chewing inflicted by a small child. But rest easy, those that don’t make the cut, hang out at the Red Cross offices all

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over the country with their goofy faces making people laugh daily.

Trauma Teddies are as simple as they are unique, because sometimes the simplest things are what are needed the most.

If you are interested in getting involved contact your local Red Cross office and get knitting.

John Richardson, National Resilience Officer, Australian Red Cross.

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JUNE/JULY – ISSUE 118

15

The benefits of ROUGH and

tumble

play

BY ALITA BLANCHARD, PARENT COACH

“Roughhousing is play that flows with spontaneity, improvisation, and joy. It is free from worries about how we look or how much time is passing. It is physical, and it promotes physical fitness, release of tension, and wellbeing.”

Anthony DeBenedet, Lawrence Cohen – The Art Of Roughhousing Roughhousing, otherwise known as rough and tumble play, playfighting or my personal favourite “rumbling” – is a wonderful way for children to release stress and tension, build social skills, learn consent, build connections and have fun.

Roughhousing can also build strength, improve movement and social skills.

Roughhousing is different to real fighting. The children are having fun, they are smiling and laughing. As soon as they aren’t having fun, boundaries need to be set. This is where sometimes it can go that step too far, too quickly.

Roughhousing might include: chasing, tumbling, pillowfighting, jumping on the bed, wrestling, piggyback rides, playing tag/tip, chase and catch games, airplane rides, push me over games, it often includes body contact between kids or the adults they’re playing with.

Good roughhousing needs you to tune in and be aware of everyone’s needs Why do you get scared when children roughhouse?

Many parents find roughhousing

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frustrating and sometimes terrifying.

You may be afraid that your children will be hurt especially if there are a mix of younger and older children. There may be a child that always takes it too far.

You may have other fears that are rearing their head. If you have been hurt yourself as a young child, this pain and fear can be triggered when you see your children play fighting. And there are very real fears about things being broken – windows, arms, teeth etc. While all these fears are valid, we cannot protect our children from every possible harm. They need to roughhouse and experience the benefits. Sometimes we need to surrender to the reality that hurts may happen, tears may arrive and that, over time, the children will better learn the limits and learn to stop when it goes too far.

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LET THEM PLAY – Don’t stop them out of fear unless it’s clearly getting dangerous and dysregulated.

The benefits of RoughHousing include: Burns energy – great before bedtime Release of healthy aggression – let them roar and scream and be grizzly bears Builds connection between parent and child Teaches boundaries over time – Teach them to say STOP. This takes a LOT of practice Laughter releases stress and reduces anxiety Laughter builds oxytocin – improves bonding and connection Physical movement helps move big feelings in the body Physical movement is essential for brain development Builds self esteem and children experience their strength Helps kids learn to take risks Boosts resilience Builds confidence Moves feelings of powerlessness Helps them learn how to speak up and learn consent.

The benefits of healthy physical touch All kids need and crave healthy touch.

Physical touch is critical to all children, including teens. The positive impact of physical touch helps children to feel nurtured, decreases their stress hormones and boosts their immune system. Roughhousing and rumbling is a wonderful way to increase the amount of physical touch children receive.

Social skills can improve through play The pandemic has impacted some children’s’ social skills. They need close contact play and interactions that improve their ability to understand social cues. Roughhousing can help children

learn non–verbal communication, the movements of bodies (leaning in, pulling away, glances, facial expressions) are key communication.

Its important to teach children consent and remember – this takes a LOT of practice. You may have to repeat yourself many times. Teach them to check in with each other – “Are you having fun?” “Are you okay?” “Do you want to keep playing or take a break?”

How to set the boundaries Stay close when they are rumbling Regulate your own nervous system Stop play as needed and set new ground rules Call “Freeze” and teach them all to stop – then if all are ok and happy to keep playing, call “Go” Stop regularly to check in on everyone – ask: Is everyone enjoying this?

Are you all feeling safe?

Work as a team to keep it safe Don’t’ let it get out of hand YOU are the adult – you need to stay close and step in when needed. But also forgive yourself when you miss incidents.

Good rules include: Limit arm and hand actions (grabbing, pushing, squeezing and hugging) to between the shoulders and hips of the other person NOT OK – It’s never ok to grab the face or neck, or to kick someone.

Hurts and tears will happen – that’s ok Sometimes the rumbling will go too far and the play becomes a fight. The minute the child’s underdeveloped nervous system is triggered and dysregulation happens, a child’s brain will go into fight or flight. They no longer remember the rules.

Get everyone to take some space, regulate, cool off, drink some cold icy

LIFE IS FUN...

AT THE BEACH

water. Sometimes you will need to step in between children and set a body boundary.

Sometimes there will be hurts. Often there will be tears. Try not to blame or shame anyone. Hurts help everyone to understand their limits. Tears are a healthy emotional release. Just hold the hurt child, get some ice if needed and listen to their tears. Accept that sometimes kids will get hurt and this can be a healthy way for their body to learn boundaries.

“When we roughhouse with our kids, we model for them how someone bigger and stronger holds back. We teach them self–control, fairness, and empathy. We let them win, which gives them confidence and demonstrates that winning isn’t everything. We show them how much can be accomplished by cooperation and how to constructively channel competitive energy so that it doesn’t take over.”

– The Art of Roughhousing: Good old– fashioned horseplay and why every kid needs it.

“

All kids need and crave healthy touch. Physical touch is critical to all children, including teens. The positive impact of physical touch helps children to feel nurtured, decreases their stress hormones and boosts their immune system.

Visit theawaremama.com.au and sign up to Aware Mama news to a free eBook on Radical Self Care tips.

Toowoon Bay | Killarney Vale Blake Gray 0448 822 123 Paul Denny 0417 266 488 Shop 1 134 Wyong Rd, Killarney Vale 2261 02 4332 6800 raineandhorne.com.au/toowoonbay

Alita Blanchard, The Aware Mama – Based on the NSW Central Coast, Alita is a mother of 4 boys and is a Conscious Parent Coach, Rites of Passage and Women’s Circle facilitator. She provides regular mothers circles, workshops, events, listening time and parent coaching programs.

Instagram: @alitablanchard_parentcoach Email: alitablanchard@gmail.com Web: www.theawaremama.com.au

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10 ways dialectical behavioural therapy can change your life

BY ALEXANDRA WILSON (AMHSW; CSW; MAASW; BSW USYD)

Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) is an evidence– based therapy that’s been shown to provide excellent outcomes for lots of mental health concerns.

Originally developed for the treatment of borderline personality disorder, DBT now has evidence that shows it’s effective for any condition that results in difficulty regulating emotions and behaviours.

It’s important when you’re looking for mental health treatment, that you find a treatment that is designed to treat your particular issues. At our practice (Mindful Recovery Services), we see many teenagers and young adults for DBT treatment.

Common issues that our young people experience include: Intense emotions that feel out of control Self harm Disordered eating Drug and alcohol abuse Problems making and maintaining relationships Difficulties with self image and self esteem.

HERE ARE 10 WAYS DBT COULD BENEFIT YOU 1. Emotion regulation skills Traditional cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is one of the most common therapies practiced, and chances are if you’ve had therapy before, you’ve done some CBT. CBT can be very effective for the treatment of anxiety and some other mental health conditions, however, for some people, the focus on thoughts and perceptions only goes so far. Some people can get very skilful at identifying problematic thoughts and beliefs, but it still doesn’t change how they feel.

DBT goes a few steps further than traditional CBT, in that emotion regulation skills are at the core of the therapy. It still covers traditional CBT

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concepts, such as the role of thoughts and how they interact with emotions– but it goes even further.

Emotion regulation skills are actually mostly emotion acceptance skills. We try to build our acceptance of emotions, whilst changing our relationship with those emotions– particularly the uncomfortable ones. In DBT we learn to observe and describe our emotions– without judgement. This allows us to choose how we want to respond, rather than engaging in an automatic reaction.

2. Balancing acceptance and change Many western psychological therapies focus heavily on change. In other words, we identify some problem in our lives, and try to change it or ourselves to feel better.

In DBT, we recognise that there are some things that need to change. It may be that we need to learn new skills to stop problem behaviours, and create the quality of life that we want. However, if we only focus on change we are likely to encounter a problem... there are some things in life we can’t change (a lot actually)!

Acceptance skills are a core part of DBT, and we recognise that in some areas we need to push for change

but in other areas we need to try to accept it. Acceptance skills are widely acknowledged in eastern philosophies as the key to emotional growth and inner peace.

3. Practical skills DBT is a skills based therapy, which means we acknowledge that to change and accept more in our lives, we need to learn and practice new skills. Nothing changes if we don’t change our actions!

DBT teaches specific skills in how to get through times of very high distress.

We often need to learn what to do to help our body chemistry first, in order to be able to get through times of very high distress.

It’s well known that our brains function differently when we are highly distressed, so we have to address the brain issue at a body level, then we can apply more sophisticated psychological skills as we start to calm down. But if we don’t learn how to change our body chemistry, we will continue to struggle to get through high distress.

4. Strong therapeutic relationship Research shows conclusively that the best predictor of improvement through therapy is a good relationship with your therapist. DBT recognises the importance

of this relationship, and focuses on establishing and keeping a strong therapeutic relationship– even if therapy gets tough some times.

respond to them. If we’re not aware of what our thought, emotions or body is doing, we have no chance to change our patterns of response and reaction.

Some people have had difficult or traumatic interactions with others in the past, so forming a relationship with a therapist can feel really scary. In DBT, the therapist aims to have ‘unconditional positive regard’ for the client and focuses strongly on validation.

Non–judgment is certainly the more difficult part of mindfulness practice, however it is often where true healing starts to happen. In DBT we draw attention to how often and easily we make judgements, about ourselves, and others– and how this can create rigid patterns of thinking that keep us stuck in harmful patterns.

DBT is a great form of therapy for anyone who has had negative experiences in seeking help in the past.

5. Support between sessions DBT is unique in that it encourages contact between sessions between clients and their therapist. The client can contact their therapist for brief, skills focused assistance.

This support acknowledges that it’s the application of skills in real–life situations that is often most difficult to do. DBT participants find this very helpful in creating real change in their patterns of behaviour.

6. Mindfulness as a core skill Mindfulness is a term that is being talked about in many different contexts lately, and it means different things to different people. I like to define mindfulness as paying attention in the present moment, with awareness, and without judgement.

This attitude of mindfulness underpins everything we do in DBT, and we aim to bring mindfulness to all the skills as we learn and practice them.

Building awareness of thoughts, emotions and physical sensations is vital in order to consider how we want to

By learning how to bring a non– judgemental attitude to our daily lives, we create space for greater acceptance of ourselves and others.

7. Validation DBT is a very validating therapy. We explore how there are always reasons why we do things, even if we feel like we don’t know what those reasons are!

Sometimes emotional patterns can feel confusing, or we feel our emotions get triggered for no reason. In DBT, we build awareness to how our emotions work, and come to realise there is always a trigger for an emotion, we just need to know what to look for.

Learning to validate our emotional experiences leads to significant improvements in how we feel about ourselves and our experiences.

8. Evidence base DBT has a strong evidence base behind it. It has been studied thoroughly in a multitude of research settings, and has been shown to be very effective for the treatment of borderline personality disorder, drug and alcohol addiction, eating disorders and mood disorders.

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Evidence is important when deciding to embark on therapy. You want to know that independent research shows the therapy works and that is has a strong scientific and ethical basis.

9. You don’t have to be 100% committed to change Many people come to DBT with mixed feelings about change. They may recognise that change is needed, in that their lives have become unmanageable.

However, they may be reluctant to let go of certain behaviours that, although have negative consequences, they feel help them cope with daily life and times of stress.

DBT does not insist that someone has full commitment to change– but asks that they be willing to explore different possibilities, including what the trade– off might be between change vs non– change.

10. A different approach I commonly see clients who have tried lots of different psychological treatments and therapies in the past, but none have really helped creating lasting and meaningful change. Most of them do very well in DBT. DBT is a different form of therapy which blends concepts from western and eastern psychologies to provide a different approach.

If you have tried other treatments, but are still not where you want to be in your life, give DBT a go!

Mental Health Access Line (Central Coast): 1800 011 511 Lifeline: 13 14 24 Mindful Recovery Services: www.mindfulrecovery.com.au or (02) 4660 0100

Alexandra (Alex) Wilson holds a Bachelor of Social Work from the University of Sydney (2003) and is the owner of Mindful Recovery Services. Mindful Recovery Services is a private practice providing psychological treatment and support for adolescents and adults. Alex is passionate about dispelling myths about mental illness,& is highly skilled in dialectical behavioural therapy. She is an experienced public speaker and provides consultation to other professionals on managing difficult behaviours in teens. Alex lives on the NSW Central Coast with her partner, 2 young boys, and a cheeky puppy named Axel.

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19

Vitamin D

Vitamin D is one of the 4 fat–soluble vitamins needed in our bodies for good health.

It is most well known for being important in making sure our bones are formed well and stay strong throughout our lives. In fact, it was the role of vitamin D in the prevention and treatment of the bone disease Rickets in children that led to its discovery early in the 20th Century. While vitamin D is officially a vitamin, it works more like a hormone in our body, making sure that we have just the right balance of calcium between our bones and in our blood. It can work to deposit calcium in our bones to store for later when we need it, and also signal to our body to release calcium into the blood to make sure we always have just the right amount.

Vitamin D is also important for the health of many other body systems.

One of the main roles vitamin D plays in our body has to do with healthy cell differentiation, which means that it is important for healthy growth in children and healthy ageing in adults, and it can play a role in preventing cancer cells from developing. It’s important for a healthy immune system, making sure that our body will effectively fight against infections and invasion, but in a way that prevents and controls chronic inflammation. Vitamin D is an important component of the hormonal system that controls our blood pressure. Therefore, it plays an important supportive role in our cardiovascular health. And it is thought that it protects the B–cells of the pancreas, and with the role it plays in the production of insulin, as well as controlling inflammation, may make it a part of preventing type 2 diabetes.

Dietary sources of vitamin D include fish (especially oily fish such as salmon, tuna and sardines), eggs and dairy foods.

Mushrooms can be a plant–based source of vitamin D, but the amounts and the body’s ability to absorb the vitamin D from plants is much less than from animal sources. Any vitamin D that we may get from our food is absorbed in

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HOW TO HAVE FUN IN THE SUN!

BY CHRISTINA BATEY, DIETITIAN

the jejunum, which is the middle section of our small intestine. It’s very hard for most people to consume enough vitamin D through their diet, because the most absorption that most people will get from their food is about 50% of available vitamin D in food. However, if you are elderly, have had surgery, or you have other conditions that may affect the jejunum, such as Coeliac Disease, Inflammatory Bowel Disease, Cancer, certain skin conditions like severe eczema, your ability to absorb the sun’s UV rays and make vitamin D will be reduced, and you may need to rely on getting vitamin D from the foods you eat or a supplement.

Thankfully, there is another way we can make vitamin D, and we don’t have to eat a thing!

You may have heard that you can “get vitamin D from the sun”. This is a very simplified way to describe it, but it is essentially true! Naturally occurring chemicals in our skin change their structure when they are exposed to ultra violet rays in sunlight. This change of structure results in a form of vitamin D that our body can use.

With such a sun–drenched country as Australia, you would think that vitamin D deficiency is not really something we need to worry about. Surprisingly, vitamin D deficiency is common, not only because of the way it goes hand–in–hand with other conditions in the jejunum, but also because of how careful we have all become about our sun exposure. Other factors also affect our ability to make vitamin D from the sun, such as our natural skin colour, our age, our mobility and some medications.

To ensure you are making vitamin D, exposure needs to be on to bare skin, from a direct source of light from the sun. The components of the sunlight that

help us make the vitamin D cannot pass through glass, so sitting next to a window will not work. The form of vitamin D that comes from the sun is more readily absorbed in the body and only a short exposure is needed to get what your body needs. In our region about 15 minutes per day in summer or 30 minutes per day in winter wearing shorts and t–shirt will give you your daily of vitamin D. You may need to soak up more rays if you are more covered up, are older, have health conditions that impact vitamin D absorption and creation, have darker skin or do not go outside every day.

With one of the highest rates of skin cancer in the world, it’s important we have good management of our sun exposure. The Cancer Council has some great guidelines on getting optimal sun for vitamin D production without putting ourselves at unnecessary risk. You can find the UV index for the day by looking up your favourite weather information service. If the UV rating is 3 or higher, prioritise sun protection, and only have minimal time in the sun. When the UV rating is below 3, go outdoors in the middle of the day and spend time in the sun.

With the last few seasons of rainy weather, it is likely you may not have gone outside to receive your daily dose of vitamin D. If you are concerned that your vitamin D levels are low, you are at risk of osteoporosis or feel your mood is lower than usual, your vitamin D levels may be low and it is recommended you ask your GP for a blood test to check your levels and prescribe supplementation if required.

Your dietitian can also assess your food intake and support you in implementing strategies for making sure you are getting enough vitamin D through a balanced diet considering your individual health needs.

Christina Batey is an Accredited Practising Dietitian at Bright Diets. As a busy wife and mother to three children she understands how difficult it can be to ensure the family eats that healthy balanced diet we all strive for. She loves helping people overcome the challenges with juggling the demands of life and ensuring everyone in the family has a balanced diet and lifestyle helping them lead happier and healthier lives. You can contact Christina on 0421 199 669 or via www.brightdiets.com.au or connect on Bright Diets Facebook page.

Construction to commence on Gosford RSL Redevelopment Central Coast, NSW – Celebrations are in order as Gosford RSL forges ahead in transforming their adored RSL club in to a landmark building and a stand out venue for the Gosford region.

Uniquely designed by WMK Architecture, with construction by local contractor North Construction & Building, the $45 million upgrade will see the club transformed into a contemporary space that embraces and builds community, one that is accessible and encourages each and every member and guest to find a space they’re comfortable in.

The 3–storey ultra–modern venue will feature a distinctive porte cochere entry, RSL museum and reception servicing both the RSL and the adjoining motel on the ground floor. The first floor will contain a cafe,lounge,bar, multiple in door and outdoor dining options, kids play area, and teenage retreat. The second floor will showcase sophisticated conference and event spaces, sports bar and brewery. An additional 154 car parking spaces will be added on site to accommodate the expected increase in patron numbers.

“We are incredibly excited to bring this project to life after many years of planning and delays caused by the recent pandemic.” states Gosford RSL Club CEO, Russell Cooper. “Our Club has gone from strength to strength over the past

decade with our popularity demanding significant expansion. After reviewing many options, the decision was made to construct an entirely new venue which will be a stunning building marking the gateway to Gosford and the Central Coast. We are a parochial local business and it means the world to us to be able to create a venue that our community will enjoy and be proud of whilst also ensuring we are able to continue supporting our community and providing outstanding entertainment, hospitality and employment opportunities for many years to come. The fact that we are able to partner with a successful and capable local builder in North Construction & Building is the icing on the cake. We can’t wait to welcome our members, guests, staff and local community into the new Gosford RSL Club!”

Equally as excited are local award– winning contractor, North Construction & Building, who have been tracking this project since its conception.

“This is a very special project for us,” stated North Managing Director, Matthew Cook. “Not only is it a significant year for North, celebrating our 35–year Anniversary, but we also now get to celebrate being awarded our largest community construction project to date”.

The Gosford RSL Redevelopment represents more than just another building project for North.

“Our site teams and subcontractors live locally and have been enjoying the club’s facilities for many years,” expressed Cook. “Many have celebrated significant family events at the club’s restaurant and function rooms and continue to visit regularly. This is North continuing to build in the community and help create the “Gateway to Gosford and the Central Coast.”

Construction is expected to commence in June 2022 with anticipated completion late 2023. The existing RSL Club will remain operational throughout construction.

For further information visit www.grsl.com.au/gosford-rslmasterplan/ Gosford RSL 26 Central Coast Highway West Gosford NSW 2250 Phone (02) 4323 2311 www.grsl.com.au/

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Raising neuro–divergent children

BY CATHY SPOONER

I remember the day I sat in that cold Psychologist office on a rainy day. Her smile and sunny demeanour didn’t change the rain outside and the heaviness on my heart. She gave us a thick wad of a report with our son’s name across the front and told us that he had Autism Spectrum Disorder.

unknown. From wanting and imagining one kind of life for our child but now wondering if that could ever be possible.

For parents of neuro–divergent kids it’s a familiar but heavy weight on our hearts, but we all hold that the best we can. We support them, we love them, we go to therapy, we read all the books, we learn so much about them and it completely changes our perspective on the world.

We do all of this with the hope that their lives will be easier, happier and fulfilled.

Silence, nodding, heart beating. She went on to draw colour coded pie charts of different aspects of life and where Harry sat amongst it all. She told us his strengths and all the things he might never be able to do like understand emotions, make friends, talk properly or be comfortable in the world surrounding him. She gave us so much information yet still, in that moment we have never felt so lost.

Sometimes that version of life will look different to what we had imagined it to be for them and for us. I’ve waded through the guilt of missing what we envisioned life to be like and let it go a thousand times over. I’m not a bad mother for dreaming of one thing, then being gifted a completely different experience. Because being a parent of a neuro–divergent child invites us to experience everything differently and shows us the broadest spectrum of emotions for us, as parents. We cycle through waves of shock and grief alongside pure dedication and admiration for our children. And over time I’ve come to realise all of these experiences are okay. I am allowed to grieve the life I envisioned for my children and in the next breath not want to change a single thing about them.

As a family we had seen the differences in our son for a while. His speech was mostly incoherent with a low vocabulary, so much so we learned sign language to help him communicate. He seemed to have these intense meltdowns over things we could not even distinguish at times. He cried a lot, was always bumping into things and just seemed unhappy in the world. His diagnosis wasn’t a shock, in many ways it felt like a relief. Finally there was an answer that gave us a pathway to understanding our little boy more deeply and to help him be his best.

Looking back to those early days there was fear that stemmed from the

Many years after that rainy day in a clinic, our eldest son was also diagnosed with Autism and ADHD and although I felt somewhat confident in navigating this, I still had a moment of bewilderment – for him and for us. Because as much as my heart aches for the challenges he will face in his life, my heart aches for us as

a family and how we navigate this. How do we all cope? How will we support the boys and us? How will I cope emotionally through this next stage? Sometimes I feel like we don’t talk enough about the emotional toll on a family, as a whole, that are navigating neuro–diversity. It’s almost taboo to say anything negative, or do anything that isn’t being a pillar of strength for your family unit. That mum guilt weighs even heavier on us at times.

The reality of raising neuro–divergent children is much more complex. We feel overwhelmed with all the moving parts we have to watch and monitor to ensure everyone is happy and regulated. We have moments when we wish for things to be easier then in the next breath marvel at how beautiful and unique their minds are. I’ve had conversations with mums who are exhausted from always being on, endlessly jumping from one need to the next, constantly worrying and being in a state of anticipation for the next trigger that could upset one of the kids.

It can feel like no one really understands what this journey is like, how much this calls on everything we have and then some. Supporting my children on this journey is the hardest thing I have ever done… yet by far the most rewarding.

Over time I’ve learned a lot about my children… and myself. They’ve opened my eyes in the most profound way. We have carved out life in way that may not be the norm. We have had to stop caring what anyone else thinks and just do us.

I’ll never judge another person by what I see on the outside, or another mama who has a screaming and resistant child.

I’ll also never pity parents of neuro– divergent kids, we don’t need pity, we need understanding and support. We need invites to parties, a reassuring smile and honest questions so this world is more welcoming of neuro–diversity and the incredible humans that make it that way.

Cathy Spooner is a Motherhood and Self– Embodiment Coach and Author who lives on the Central Coast with her three children. She offers 1:1 support, group coaching, online courses and her new book Conscious Motherhood is available online. www.cathyspooner.com.au

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s d i k k c i s g n i p l e H ON THE CEN TR AL COAST Hip Dysplasia and a Congenital Heart Abnormality and was staying at Gosford Hospital. As new parents, James and Tiffany of Kincumber, loved visiting the Family Room and were so grateful for the beautiful Volunteers that made their stay that little bit easier. The Volunteers are “Second to none with great energy!”

James and Tiffany said.

Opening its doors in 2013, The Ronald McDonald Family Room at Gosford Hospital has welcomed over 56,000 people in need of a break. Providing families, a welcoming and safe place to grab a snack, enjoy a cup of coffee, wash and dry personal items, shower and spend valued time with family members.

A refuge for families with sick or injured children within the Children’s Ward, Maternity Ward and Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, The Ronald McDonald Family Room relies on the generosity of the local community for

support and the dedication of Volunteers.

Volunteers are the welcoming face of the Ronald McDonald Family Room, Gosford. Whether it’s making a cuppa, lending an ear, or making sure the Family Room is a clean, comfortable and welcoming space – none of this is possible without the assistance of Volunteers.

With life returning to normal after the uncertainty of the past few years, The Ronald McDonald Family Room Gosford, is currently recruiting Volunteers to be able to return to pre Covid operating hours.

Little Amber was born prematurely at Westmead Children’s Hospital with

Volunteering is a great way to meet new friends, learn new skills or simply give back to your local community.

Volunteer, Sharyn, has been a part of Gosford Family Room since 2013.

Sharyn’s favourite part of the role is welcoming back return visitors to the room and being remembered by them even if it was a long time in between.

If you are interested in becoming a Volunteer at the Ronald McDonald Family Room at Gosford Hospital or are interested in hosting a fundraising event on their behalf, please send an email through to gosinfo.nnsw@rmhc.org.au To get find out more or get involved visit www.rmhcnnsw.org.au

Ronald McDonald and The Fu Engine n 3pm Free face painting & jumping castle!

Fundraiser Fun Day 3-6pm Saturday June 18

$15kiser ra Fund e! a R ffle and n Onlihouse In m 5p

26 Central Coast Highway West Gosford

grsl.com.au All funds raised will support sick kids and their families at the Ronald McDonald Family Room in Gosford Hospital.

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23

preparing to buy your

first property

BY AMANDA IRVIN, RAY WHITE LONG JETTY

Finding a complete step– by–step guide to walk you through the first home buying process can be tricky.

Here’s a guide to make starting process a little easier.

YOUR FINANCES Do you have savings?

As you begin planning to buy, the first step is to think about how much of a deposit you will need for the cost of your future home.

It’s good to aim for a 20 per cent deposit otherwise it’s likely you’ll need to pay LMI (Lenders Mortgage Insurance) Genuine savings are important – a lender will consider regular savings as money you’ve had in your bank account for at least three months.

Lenders typically require five per cent of your deposit to be made up of savings.

Do you know how much you save currently?

Follow these steps to understand your monthly savings capacity: Calculate your monthly income Calculate your monthly expenses Then subtract your expenses from

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your income to find an average monthly savings amount Multiply this by 12 months to determine your annual potential savings amount.

Do you know what price bracket you can afford to buy in?

As you begin thinking about what sort of property you can afford, use a borrowing calculator to determine your borrowing capacity. Visit https://www.loanmarket. com.au/calculators/loan-repaymentcalculator Have you checked your credit score?

Your credit score or credit rating is determined by your repayment and credit enquiry history, to provide a lender with an indication of how reliable a client you are. There are a variety of services which can provide you with your credit score within 10 days. Credit Savvy is one such provider, you can visit their website here: https://www.creditsavvy.com.au/ It’s worth checking your score early in the process, an average Australian credit score is anything between 500–700.

Anything less than 500 means it’s worth checking your options with a broker.

If you want to know more, or have any questions, the best place to start is contacting a broker. Visit https://www. loanmarket.com.au/brokers to get started.

Have you considered buying with a partner, family or friends?

As house prices have increased over time, it’s now more common than ever to buy with a partner or receive assistance from a family member or friend.

Advantages: Sharing the purchase price and fees may mean you’re able to meet the 20 per cent deposit threshold to avoid paying LMI. Sharing ongoing costs like loan repayments, maintenance and upkeep, and property management fees (if it’s an investment property).

Disadvantages: Concessions for first home buyers only apply once, so when two first home buyers split the deposit, both home owners forgo these concessions to purchase the one home.

“

It’s good to aim for a 20 per cent deposit otherwise it’s likely you’ll need to pay LMI (Lenders Mortgage Insurance)

RAY WHITE LONG JETTY

“

Complications could arise within relationships over the long term.

RESEARCH THE PROPERTY MARKET

experiencing faster growth than others.

It’s worth requesting a suburb report to better understand the price changes, volume of sales etc. over time.

Your credit score or credit rating is determined by your repayment and credit enquiry history, to provide a lender with an indication of how reliable a client you are. better than another, and allow this to play into your decision when evaluating the properties on the market.

YOUR LIFESTYLE Using your price bracket guide, do you know where you’d be able to buy?

Look at the potential suburbs that are of interest and within your price range and narrow your focus between an apartment, house, townhouse or any other options of interest.

Have you considered your ideal property features?

When comparing properties and their prices, consider key factors like land size, number of bedrooms, bathrooms, car spaces etc. and begin to form a picture in your mind of what sort of property you could realistically purchase within your price bracket.

Do you know your deal breakers?

Understanding your deal breakers will make narrowing your focus even easier.

What are the things you couldn’t buy a property without? Filter them into your property search.

Do you know if you’re buying an investment property or a place of residence?

Determining whether you’ll live in the property you purchase or buy an investment which you rent out is an important consideration which will help you determine other lifestyle factors and could impact your final decision.

As an investment, you have the option of renting the property to help you cover the mortgage while you live elsewhere.

Speak to a property manager about the estimated weekly rent for comparable properties, to set your own expectations before buying.

Have you checked the area’s access to shops, transport, schools etc.?

As well as adding value to a property, access to shops, transport, schools and walkability will have an impact on how appealing they are to you personally.

For some people, access to particular local services will be more important than others. Consider which are more important to you.

To help take the stress out of buying your first property, contact the team at Ray White Long Jetty.

Phone 4360 4360 longjetty.nsw@raywhite.com

If you intend on living in the home, consider the personal factors that are important to you that make one home

raywhitelongjetty.com.au

Have you looked at the area’s recent comparable sale prices?

Advertised property pricing can be difficult to navigate. One source of truth is local recent sales to give you the best indication of what the property market is doing right now. Contact your local Real Estate agent to receive a free property report of comparable recently sold properties in the area or reach out to a broker.

Have you looked at the surrounding suburbs and their market growth trajectory?

The property market undergoes price variations every year, with some suburbs

Ray White Long Jetty is a locally owned and operated Central Coast real estate agency located in Long Jetty. With a combined 60+ years of sales and property management experience, we are trusted in our community to have your most important asset nurtured and taken care of. We’re here to help with all your property needs, contact us on 02 4360 4360 or longjetty.nsw@raywhite.com Visit us at raywhitelongjetty.com.au or 1/393 The Entrance Road, Long Jetty NSW.

JUNE/JULY – ISSUE 118

25

Post viral illness and long haul Covid – ARE YOU OVER FEELING UNWELL?

BY DIANA ARUNDELL, UNIVERSITY QUALIFIED NATUROPATH AND NUTRITIONIST

B.H.Sc (comp medicine) B.A., N.D., Dip. Nut, D.R.M.

Nutrition Herbal Medicine Fertility Management Children’s Health Wellness Programs 0410 465 900 avocanaturopath.com.au

The human body is an extraordinary, naturally health seeking, powerfully driven phenomena and this is especially the case when it comes to the immune system.

When working well and given the right environment including nutrition, healthy lifestyle choices and when required medical intervention, more often than not, the body will come out on top.

naturopathdiana@gmail.com nutrition and wellness | herbal medicineThe | fertility | children’s health emergence of ‘long Covid’ has B.H.Sc (comp medicine) B.A., N.D, Dip. Nut, D.R.M. 118 Avoca Drive, Kincumber brought discussions of ‘post–viral

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O N T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES

syndrome’ back up to the surface. Post viral syndrome refers to symptoms that persist long after the acute phase of the viral infection has ended. The actual existence of such a thing as post viral syndrome has created debate amongst healthcare professionals for a long time, as accurate diagnosis is difficult without a specific biomarker diagnostic test.

Naturopathic practitioners have often been the last port of call for sufferers of chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME), Lyme’s, Ross River Virus and other post–viral associated chronic conditions. This is due to orthodox medicine for the most part being reluctant to accept the reality/severity of these conditions (no diagnostic test), or not having substantial treatment options to offer to enable the sufferer to feel much better. The emergence of SARs–CoV–2 virus and subsequently ‘long covid’ has created real substance to the post–viral syndrome debate.

Regardless of whether the acute covid infection phase experienced is mild or severe, once the acute infection clears, approximately 30% of people will experience a number of persistent symptoms and up to 80% may experience one persistent symptom. The presence

of persistent symptom/s is referred to as ‘long covid’. Symptoms of ‘long covid’ or post–acute SARS–CoV–2 include fatigue, headache/concentration issues/ brain fog, breathing issues, joint/muscle pain, loss of taste/smell, gastrointestinal disturbance, tinnitus, skin rashes and cardiovascular and central nervous system complaints. We are still learning so much about this virus and its impact both short and long term on our physiology.

It appears that long covid may be associated with a reactivation of the Epstein–Barr virus (EBV) which has infected but lays dormant in approximately 90% of the population.

There are certainly similarities between EBV symptoms and long covid symptoms. Regardless of this connection, the challenge is to help people feel better as soon as possible so really understanding the key drivers behind post viral symptoms is where the focus needs to be. Research emerging suggests the three main areas that may be driving the long haul symptoms include 1) abnormal immune activation, 2) neuro–inflammation in the central nervous system and 3) oxidative stress at a cellular level which translates to impairment of normal energy production in the cells.

It may not be possible currently to eliminate SARS–CoV–2 so we need to aim to reduce the viral load on the body and improve the dysfunction driving the chronic post viral symptoms.

Naturopathically the treatment focus includes optimal diet/lifestyle and natural medicinal and/or therapeutic doses of nutrients to rebalance the immune response, reduce inflammation and support mitochondrial function to enhance cellular energy production.

Treatment protocols for post viral syndrome will be driven by the symptom picture of the individual. For example, for some people it may be just ongoing

fatigue that’s the issue and for others, a persistent cough, headaches or gut disturbance will be the lingering issue that needs addressing. The main treatment goal is to provide symptomatic relief while improving a healthy immune response in the host and supporting elimination of the virus.

From a naturopathic perspective, we have natural medicinal options to enhance resistance to virulent infections including medicinal mushrooms which can have an effect on the innate and adaptive immune systems. These include cordyceps, reishi, shiitake, coriolus and chaga mushrooms. N–acetylcysteine (NAC) is a potent antioxidant, has mucolytic (break down mucous) and anti–infective actions which can help when persistent mucous is an issue in the respiratory tract.

“

It is not a luxury to rest and take time for the body to recover from a virus, it’s a necessity.

A healthcare practitioner trained in nutrition and/or herbal medicine can prescribe a specific treatment protocol for individual ongoing symptoms. This may include checking for deficiencies in minerals and vitamins that may impair immune function. eg zinc (chronic zinc deficiency may exacerbate immune– mediated inflammation which is a feature of post–viral syndrome) and vitamin D (stimulates specific immune cells to assist with infection and other immune cells to clear up debris to hasten recovery). There are also many other

therapeutic agents both derived from plants and nutrition to help energy production and reduce fatigue. For example Co–enzyme Q10 (ubiquinol) may help energy production at a cellular level and reduce inflammation. Quercetin in a lipo–micel form is better absorbed than other forms and in studies has demonstrated immunomodulatory, anti– oxidant and anti–inflammatory activity.

Sufficient iron stores are also imperative for good immune function.

As always both optimal dietary and lifestyle factors help create a solid foundation for the body to heal from post viral illness and fatigue. These include: Adequate sleep – aiming for 8 hours Adequate hydration – 1.5–2 litres of water or non–caffeinated beverages eg: herbal tea Eliminate alcohol – may have pro– inflammatory effect on the body and increase infection Avoid sugar – pro–inflammatory.

Avoid cakes, lollies, soft drinks, sweet desserts. Fresh fruit contains natural sugar and is packed with other immune promoting vitamins and minerals so does not need to be avoided

Increase intake of vegetables and fruit – as many different colours as possible (more green, red, orange, yellow and blue over white) Adequate protein to support immunoglobulin production – Fish, lean meat, eggs, whole grains, legumes, nuts and seeds REST and DESTRESS – stop and allow the body space and time to rejuvenate itself. Societal, employment and individual expectations have led us to ‘soldier on’ and not taking adequate time to rest and recover from illness.

It is not a luxury to rest and take time for the body to recover from a virus, it’s a necessity. ‘Soldiering on’ is more likely to lead to post viral lingering of symptoms Movement (gentle) for the body – the lymphatic system needs to be stimulated to help spread the immune cells into circulation.

If you have not returned to 100% after a couple of weeks after any viral exposure, see your professional healthcare practitioner for advice.

For further information or to make an appointment please contact Diana Arundell at Avoca Naturopath and Nutritionist on 0410 465 900.

Diana Arundell is a university–qualified naturopath and consults from her Avoca Naturopath clinic. She has a special interest in fertility and pregnancy health, digestive health, immune function and family wellness programs.

She was a nutrition lecturer at Macquarie University for 10 years, and is an accredited Journey Practitioner. For further information or to make an appointment please contact Diana Arundell at Avoca Naturopath on 0410 465 900.

JUNE/JULY – ISSUE 118

27

Reasons not to put off a routine visit to your dentist A recent survey of 2,000 millennials found that three in ten brush their teeth only once a day. Not only that, but many go without brushing for over two days at a time. And despite that fact that 56 % are concerned about losing their teeth, the survey showed that over half were afraid of going to see the dentist.

The Australian Dental Association (ADA) recommends brushing twice a day with fluoride toothpaste,and flossing once a day,to keep your oral health in good shape. Proper brushing and flossing is the most effective way to rid your teeth of plaque: the build up of food particles and harmful bacteria that cause tooth decay and gum disease.

Dental disease is not inevitable A beautiful smile is sought after

and celebrated in our culture — it’s one of the first things people notice about us. Luckily, a gorgeous smile, pearly white teeth and fresh breath are easily achieved with good daily dental hygiene habits.

By taking just a few minutes each day to brush and floss the right way, you can help avoid the discomfort and expense of dental treatment down the road.

Maintaining healthy teeth and gums is literally in your hands. Effective oral

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O N T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES

hygiene is essential to keeping your teeth for a lifetime.

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DENTAL AT LAKE HAVEN

A recent survey of 2,000 millennials found that three in ten brush their teeth only once a day by not much more than just a slight alteration in your technique. And the changes you’ll notice are almost instant.

“Start the way you mean to carry on,”is especially important for children.

As adults, changing bad dental hygiene habits into good ones is more challenging, but you can get that “just had my teeth cleaned at the dentist’s feeling,” every day with a little time and practice.

The most important lesson you’ll learn at your dentist Hold your toothbrush gently,like a paintbrush, or pen or pencil — not with a fist grip. You may be surprised to know that the motion and pressure needed are minimal, since gum tissues are soft and easily damaged. A modified gentle “circular” technique is best. Hold the toothbrush bristles — a SOFT toothbrush is recommended — at about 45 degrees

into the gum line, then gently use circular motion being sure to brush over the gums as well.

A toothbrush should generally last for at least three months,if used correctly.

When the bristles become worn or splayed, it’s time for a new one It very important floss once a day.

Easy, right? Use the floss by forming a “C”shape by wrapping it around each tooth surface and moving it up and down vertically and gently under the gumline for 3–4 strokes. Clean each side of the tooth where it contacts the next tooth.

At your regular dental check up you’ll get a full teeth cleaning and a complete evaluation of your oral health, including screening for oral cancer.

Book now for your check up!

Dental at Lake Haven Phone 4392 6466 admin@dentalatlakehaven.com.au dentalatlakehaven.com.au Dental at Kanwal Phone 4393 0020 admin@dentalatkanwal.com.au dentalatkanwal.com.au healthline.com | deardoctor.com

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29

e v o l life

Matters of

&

Dearly Beloved

BY SARAH TOLMIE

READER QUESTION: “My kids play soccer throughout Winter.

I really do not enjoy going. It is early, cold, often wet and I get very triggered by the loud shouty, almost bully parents on the sidelines. How do I endure? Is it ok NOT to go?

I really feel for you. When our two sons played soccer and AFL for a brief while too, we used the pray it would rain so that soccer would be cancelled and we could sleep–in warm and snug. Some fields would be an hour away. It was an all–round groan as it rolled around each week. Sometimes I would even notice the boys didn’t want to go either.

And then this amazing thing would happen. You’d go. It would feel like a nice ‘community thing’.

Most of the time the kids would have fun. There’d be a bacon and egg roll morning barbecue, cute little dogs would be vying for attention, and the sun would pop through sometimes too. You’d chat to the other parents and get the news and know your kids’ friends a bit better.

At the end of it all, you felt you did a good thing. The family had an outing and you had a real reason to run away from the housework.

Sure, hubby and I did a bit of tag teaming and lift sharing with other parents just to stretch out our endurance over the entire season. But here’s the strangest thing. When it all ended for us, when our boys stopped playing for a while, and later, when they resumed as young adults with cars and driving

themselves, we missed it! I’d have to haggle with them to invite me to come and watch.

Only this Mother’s Day, I wandered down to watch my son now 19 years, play in an adult team with all his young mates. They had champagne and croissants for the ‘mums’ and a team photo with the mums at the end of the game. I can’t tell you how proud I felt. Put in the hard yards, and life and love will deliver these sweet moments that make it all worthwhile.

Community sport is a great thing. Whether it is nippers, soccer, netball, football, swimming, cricket, water polo etc, if your kids want to do it, support them. If they are unsure, encourage them to try.

If they really don’t want to play, be a volunteer or supporter, because there is something about the community building, egalitarian, family friendly atmosphere that encodes inclusivity, respect and engagement in a child’s ethos.

And as for those triggering parents on the sidelines. My approach was to stand with and amongst them. Have a friendly chat and find out about their community. Comment positively on both teams. Enthusiastically cheer great play from any player and applaud the goals of each team. Model that for the team and other parents and this can help to create a more friendly, fun and enjoyable atmosphere Go well. Much love Sarah x

Sarah Tolmie – Life and Love: Sarah is a marriage therapist, life and love and relationship coach, end–of–life consultant, an independent and bespoke funeral director and holistic celebrant. She provides holistic care, mentoring, guidance, healing and transformation for individuals, couples and families at their most important times of life and love – at end–of–life, in love and relationship, and in ritual and celebration. Sarah has a relationship online course for couples called “Creating a Miracle Marriage” and a free resource and video series for families facing dying, death and grief called “Landscapes of Life and Love and Loss”. To find out more, visit www.sarahtolmie.com.au and www.miraclemarriage.com.au

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ON T H E C OA S T – FAM ILIES

W c a h

Change | Healing | Growth Change | Healing | Growth

We are a team of highly qualified and well-experienced clinicians providing the best possible psychological assessment and treatment for the full range of mental www.heartandmindcollective.com.au health concerns, for kids through to adults: Anxiety www.heartandmindcollective.com.au Depression Traumatic experiences We are a team of highly qualified and well-experienced HOW WE management CAN HELP Stress and providing mood clinicians the best possible psychological Birth trauma, postnatal and infant assessment and treatment for theand fullmental range ofhealth mental We are a team of highly qualified well-experienced www.heartandmindcollective.com.au Autism Spectrum Disorder health concerns, for kidsbest through to adults: clinicians providing the possible psychological Anxiety assessment and treatment for the Disorder full range of mental Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Depression HOW WE CAN HELP health concerns, for kids through to adults: Behavioural difficulties Traumatic experiences Anxiety We are a team of highly qualified and well-experienced Social-emotional difficulties Depression Stress and mood management clinicians providing the best possible psychological Relationship and attachment concerns Traumatic experiences assessment and treatment the full range of mental Birth trauma, postnatal andfor infant mental health Gender Dysphoria health concerns, for kids through to adults: Stress and mood management Autism Spectrum Disorder Anxietypostnatal and infant mental health Addiction Birth trauma, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Depression Autism Spectrum Disorder Assessment of Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, Behavioural difficulties Traumatic experiences Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder cognitive, learning and trauma Social-emotional difficulties Stress anddifficulties mood management

HOW WE CAN HELP

Change | Healing | Growth

Behavioural difficulties Birth trauma, postnatal and infant mental health Relationship and attachment concerns Social-emotional difficulties Autism Spectrum Disorder Gender Dysphoria Attention Hyperactivity Disorder Relationship andDeficit attachment concerns Addiction Behavioural difficulties Gender Dysphoria Assessment of Autism Spectrum Social-emotional difficulties Disorder, ADHD, Addiction cognitive, learning and difficulties and trauma Relationship attachment concerns Assessment of Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, Gender Dysphoria cognitive, learning difficulties and trauma Addiction Assessment of Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, cognitive, learning difficulties and trauma

The Heart & Mind Collective Approach The Heart & Mind Collective The HeartCOMPREHENSIVE &Approach Mind Collective Approach you are more We understand

than just your symptoms. We The Heart & Mind Collective have a person-centred and Approach approach to integrative COMPREHENSIVE supporting you.

COMPREHENSIVE We understand you are more than just your symptoms. We We understand you are more have a person-centred and COMPREHENSIVE than just your symptoms. We integrative approach to have a person-centred and We understand you are more supporting you. integrative approach than just your symptoms.

Weto you. have a supporting person-centred and integrative approach to supporting you.

COLLABORATIVE

We stay connected with your health professional care team COLLABORATIVE so that we can understand and COLLABORATIVE work with the whole picture.

We stay connected with your COLLABORATIVE We stay connected with your health professional care team We stay connected with your health professional care team so that we can understand and health professional care team so that we canthe understand and work wholeand picture. so that we with can understand work with the whole picture. work with the whole picture.

EVIDENCE-BASED

Psychology support that Psychology support that Psychology support that considers the whole person, Psychology thatperson, considerssupport the whole theinside whole person, considers whole fromconsiders thefrom inside out. out.person, the

We use gold standard assessment methods and a EVIDENCE-BASED We use gold standard variety treatment We useofgold standardmethods assessment and a We use methods gold standard assessment methods and a including EMDR, Mindfulness, variety of treatment methods assessment methods and a including EMDR, Mindfulness, variety methods CBT &treatment Therapeutic Play. variety of of treatment methods

EVIDENCE-BASED EVIDENCE-BASED

CBT & Therapeutic Play. including EMDR, Mindfulness, including EMDR, Mindfulness, CBT & Therapeutic Play.

CBT & Therapeutic Play.

from out. from the inside out. p. 02 4327 9435 | e. admin@heartandmindcollective.com.au | Wyoming, NSW p. 02 4327 9435 | e. admin@heartandmindcollective.com.au | Wyoming, NSW

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9435 || e. e. admin@heartandmindcollective.com.au admin@heartandmindcollective.com.au | Wyoming, p. 02 02 4327 9435 | Wyoming, NSW

A community focused on happiness, education and belonging.

A place to shine

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