HOW TO STOP BEING THE
” r e h t o m d o o g “ BY CATHY SPOONER
Over the years I’ve lost count of the times I’ve sat crying in the bathroom wondering how I am failing so much at being a mother. How something that is so ingrained in my being, a rite of passage for some, felt so unnatural and hard for me. I grappled with so many feelings of insecurity, guilt, resentment and shame and I wondered if things would ever get better. I bought into every single story and expectation about motherhood.
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O N T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES
I had a rose coloured version of how it would all look and it started from the moment we conceived. So many of us step into motherhood with a list of silent expectations of what a “good mother” looks like. We don’t quite know it’s happening as we rock our babies through sleepless nights, cry silently as we struggle to breastfeed, lose our temper at the kids or silently wish for things to be different. We go through the motions of motherhood with these stories imprinted within us and all around us. Good mothers are self–sacrificing, good mothers have it together, good mothers are loving in all moments, good mothers are driven at work and in the home,
good mothers have bounce back bodies or good mothers can do it all. It’s completely normal for mothers and caregivers to… Feel out of your depths at times Feel anger, rage and frustration Want an escape or out from the responsibilities and overwhelm Make mistakes and mess up Feel as though you’re failing and letting everyone down Wish for something different than this Feel resentful of aspects of life, but grateful in the next breath We feel bad about having these experiences because we think good