Feeling Blue

Feeling Blue Take a tour of the new Rebecca M. Sykes Wellness Center

Learn how to get more involved on campus thisWinter

See how some of your peers view diversity at Andover

Check out our exclusive interview with Dr. Israel

Edition 1

A Dear Sam Publication

Feeling Blue Issue I Editors’ Note 2 Meet the Dear Sam Team 4 Recent Q&A 6 Faculty Interview: Dr. Israel 12 Sections Relationships 16 Diversity 22 Academic 33 Physical Health 38 Mental Health 44 Sexual Health 48 Explore the Wellness Center 52

1

Niko Skrivanos ‘17 On behalf of the entire Dear Sam team, we are so pleased to release the first edition of Feeling Blue. In this first edition, we strove to provide an overarching basis for who we are as a group of students committed to peer health education. We cover a broad range of topics that we believe are most relevant and pertinent to the Andover community. Feeling Blue is entirely student generated, and we hope to offer a unique perspective in which Andover students can learn from each other and foster a supportive community that cherishes one of our core values: empathy and balance. With the opening of the new Rebecca M. Sykes Wellness Center, we believe this publication is not only timely, but marking an important shift in our community where student health issues are fully recognized and support resources are most accessible.

Sincerely, Niko Skrivanos

2

Andrew Cortner ‘17 Speaking on account of the entire Dear Sam editorial board, we are thrilled to release our first edition of Feeling Blue, an empathy and balance publication. Empathy and balance is a significant aspect of life at Andover, and we aspire to bring together our large community by creating a hub of student voices. Feeling Blue was created entirely by students, and it captures an interesting look into the Andover community.

Over the past few months, we have assembled a wonderful group of students with whom we work closely to improve health and wellness education here at Andover. It is our goal to ensure that each student can take full advantage of every opportunity that Andover offers by providing a wide variety of resources to the entire community.

Regards, Andrew Cortner

3

Meet the Dear Sam Team

NIKO SKRIVANOS

KATHERINE SWEETSER

MICHELLE KOH

LOVISA ROMANDER

SARAH AL-MAYAHI

EMILY NDIOKHO

WENDY ZHANG

KAYLEIGH BISHOP

REBECCA MARROW

4

ANDREW CORTNER

LAUREL WAIN

MEG DAVIS

KALINA KO

MORGAN KUIN

Copyright © 2016 For the Andover Community All rights reserved First published at Phillips Academy Layout and Design: Andrew Cortner ‘17 & Nikolas Skrivanos ‘17 Photography Copyright © Andrew Cortner ‘17, Leah Hamann ‘17, & Nikolas Skrivanos ‘17 Contributors: Dear Sam Editorial Board and Staff Faculty Advisors: Dr. Carol J. Israel PhD and Dr. Amy Patel MD

Phillips Academy Andover, Massachusetts

Created by Dear Sam A team of students committed to peer health education 5

“How can I eat breakfast and still get enough sleep/get to class on time?”

Grab something and go.

Even just a little food can suffice as a breakfast. Paresky Commons offers various foods that you can quickly stuff into a cup, such as fruit, bagels, muffins, or scrambled eggs. Ask your teacher if it’s okay for you to eat during class. Otherwise, try eating on the way to class.

Prepare something the night before.

If you live in a dorm, leave out something easy for breakfast such as a granola bar or pre-packaged cereal. If you live at home, maybe ask a parent to help you put something together from the pantry.

6

Wake up earlier.

Hopefully, by sacrificing a bit of sleep, you can get a good breakfast that’ll wake you up. Otherwise, you can try taking a nap later in the day to compensate for the loss of sleep. You can also try to go to bed earlier to make up for the little bit of sleep lost in the morning.

Try eating breakfast during conference.

If you do not have time before classes, try eating something during conference or free periods. Although there is less of a variety, you can still get toast, cereal, or a bagel on the first floor.

“I feel pressured to hook up with someone.”

Asking for help can be a difficult thing to do. However, seeking advice in situations like this is critical. Engaging in any kind of sexual or intimate act with another person is an important decision with which you should be completely comfortable. This decision is purely your own, not anyone else’s. You deserve to decide what happens to your body and no one else’s opinion should matter more than your own. If you do not want to hook up with someone now, it is unlikely that your feelings will change after having hooked up with someone. Your health and safety are of the greatest importance and should not be risked in situations that make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Here are some steps that you can take:

Be assertive.

Openly communicate your decision to the source(s) of pressure, and the person with whom you might hook up with. Stand by your decision, and remind yourself that this is your choice.

Do not be embarrassed.

This is your decision and it should not be influenced by what seems popular amongst your friends. Do not let all the attention around the hook-up culture control you and know that you are not alone. Despite how it may sometimes seem, not everyone on campus is hooking up. According to The State of the Academy in 2014, 25% of the student body at Andover feels pressured to engage in the hookup culture.

Know what you want.

When it is time to make a decision, consider all the pros and cons of the situation and come to your own conclusion. Whether you want to take this step or not is entirely up to you. Do not let anyone else affect your choices. Only you know if you are ready to hookup with someone. It is important that you look out for your best interest and that you do not succumb to peer pressure.

Recognize pressure.

Whether you are feeling pressure from your friends and/or possible sexual partner, it is important to confront them about it and explain why you are unhappy/uncomfortable with it, and ask them to stop.

7

“None of my friends seem to be as stressed out as I am.”

Students at PA can often feel discouraged by comparing themselves to others. At Andover, no two students are exactly the same. Each student may have different goals, mindsets, and abilities.

In any aspect, comparing yourself to others can not only deter you from your potential success, but also dissuade you from trying new things. Also, because of one’s unique schedule, you could have a busy week and then a lighter week, when someone else might have the opposite. Nevertheless, it may appear that none of your friends seem to be stressed out, and you are the only one who is.

There are numerous reasons for this. Your friends may know how to manage their time better, not participate in time-consuming extracurricular activities, take easier courses or have an “easier” teacher than you do, or they may simply be hiding their stress well. Everyone at Phillips Academy faces obstacles at some point, whether they are major or not. The most important mindset to have in your Andover career is to focus on yourself and not worry too much about how you measure up with respect to other people. Your stress level does not correlate with your intelligence or capability.

Reach out for help.

There are many resources on campus that you can use to your advantage. These include the Academic Skills Center, math and science study halls, or conference periods for academic support, and the Sykes Wellness Center for mental or emotional support. You can also talk to various other people on campus, such as teachers, coaches, friends, house counselors, advisors, and dorm proctors.

Relax. Give yourself a break and refresh your brain.

Try doing something that you truly love to do for an hour— this is better than wasting an hour stressing yourself out. You can try taking a walk or simply meditating in your room for 15 minutes. These exercises may help to boost your productivity and reduce your stress levels.

8

Never think less of yourself because of your ability in one area.

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and you may find yourself challenged more in certain areas. However, by learning to embrace these challenges and reaching out for help when needed, you may find better and less stressful ways of dealing with them.

“My roommate is too loud when I am trying to sleep or study. How do I approach him/her?”

People can be very hard to deal with in life, but it is important to recognize that you can resolve this problem! The most effective way to deal with this issue would be to talk to your roommate, and with your question, you are well on your way there. Now, the first question you need to ask yourself is, are you close friends with your roommate? If you are close, it should not be too bad to merely bring it up at some point when your roommate is in a good mood hopefully in a private setting. If you are not that close to your roommate however, it’s absolutely fine. There are still ways to inform your roommate about your feelings towards their habits without offending them. Some tips about how to bring up the subject are:

Set up something small.

You could consider perhaps watching a movie, with just the two of you, and afterwards, make sure you approach the subject delicately. Try saying something like, “I’m really sorry to have to ask you this, but I’ve been having some trouble sleeping lately. Could you possibly be a little quieter after (time)?”

Be very understanding and willing to listen to what your roommate has to say.

Be polite about asking him/her to be quieter. Some roommates do not mean to keep you up, others just do not care.

This is the important distinction to make. If he or she just does not care, then reach out to a house counselor.

The adult figure will help tremendously.

Do not be aggressive.

Try not to be passive-aggressive as this could alienate you from your roommate. It is good to be upfront with your concerns and to voice them politely, but being aggressive could do more harm than good. It is important to use a positive tone when you address your roommate.

Request a room change.

This should be a last resort measure, but if you have already tried to approach your roommate on the issue and they are not at all willing to form a good relationship, or even just try to accommodate your needs, it might be necessary. Your needs are just as important as your roommate’s, and if you can’t find some compromise, it is not at all a bad thing to try and change rooms.

9

“What is the difference between the ACT and the SAT?”

It can be hard to understand what test you should take for college. The best resource you have for this question is definitely the College Counseling Office, but here is a brief overview of what the tests are and what they can both offer.

The ACT

The ACT is a standardized test that is also used widely in college admission in the US (all fouryear colleges and universities in the US accept the ACT). The ACT is divided into four multiple-choice subject tests: English, Math, Reading, and Science. The ACT is scored on a 36-point scale. The test lasts for about 3 hours and 10 minutes, there is also an optional 40-minute essay. In the spring of 2016, the ACT is starting to be offered as a computer-based test that incorporates some optional constructed response questions.

The SAT

The SAT is a standardized test that is very widely used in college admissions in the United States. The test itself takes about 3 hours and 45 minutes to complete and it is scored out of 2400 points. There are three major topics: Math, Critical Reading, and Writing. In March of 2016, students will be able to take a redesigned SAT. It will be scored on a 1600-point scale, and it will include an optional essay. Students will have 3 hours to take the exam plus 50 minutes to complete the essay.

Pros of taking the ACT

Pros of taking the SAT

The SAT does not include a science section like the ACT. The SAT is broken up into more sections. The SAT tends to include less advanced math concepts. It is offered more times per year than the ACT (7 times/year: January, March/April, May, June, October, November, December).

Questions on the ACT tend to be more straightforward. In addition, questions on the ACT are often easier to understand on the first read.

There is not as big an emphasis on vocabulary in the ACT than in the SAT. The ACT is more of a “big picture” exam, and colleges are generally more concerned with your composite score rather than section scores as with the SAT.

Other things to consider

Some college counselors here at Andover will suggest that you take both the SAT and the ACT at least once so that you can then decide which you prefer or which you performed better on. Try to make sure, whether you decide to take the ACT or SAT or both, that you spread out your testing schedule and give yourself some time in between tests to study and recuperate.

10

“I feel ashamed and embarrassed that I am on financial aid.�

Many people are uncomfortable to say that they are on financial aid. Coming to Andover, it can be hard for people who are on financial aid to feel like they belong with the other students. You should not feel ashamed that you are on financial aid. Here are some tips to help you escape this ashamed mentality:

Do not think about it.

If you do not think about being on financial aid, you will not realize you are on financial aid. Being on financial aid does not make you any different than anyone else.

It should not make people think about you differently, and it does not need to make you feel ashamed.

If someone brings it up, you do not have to answer any questions that make you uncomfortable.

If at one point at Andover financial aid is the topic of the conversation, do not feel inclined to answer any questions. However, there should be no reason to feel like you will be singled out if you say you are on financial aid. Remember that you are being recognized for your achievements by the school.

If your friends do not accept that you are on financial aid, then they are not real friends.

Do not hang out with people that look down on you. No one should think of you less because you are on financial aid. If someone is so shallow as to look at you differently because you are on financial aid, you do not need to associate yourself with that person.

Try to jot down perks of being on financial aid.

This may sounds silly, but it might work for you. Ask yourself questions. What does financial aid offer you? How does it benefit you? What has financial aid helped you with?

Try to give yourself positive reinforcement.

Think about it like this. Your parents do not have to pay the same amount of money as your peers. Depending on how much financial aid you are on, your parents do not have to pay the full tuition. You are being recognized by your academic, athletic, and other extracurricular achievements.

11

Faculty Interview: Dr. Israel PhD Reporting by EMILY NDIOKHO

When did you begin your career here at Andover? What led you to such a specific type of setting?

I came in September of 1985. So, that’s way before any of you were born. And I had just gotten my PhD, I had just gotten married, and I wanted to practice in a place where I could be a professional and I could have a professional life, but where I could also know that I could start a family and have a reasonable chance of balance in my life.

I had a choice of two jobs at the time, one was in an inpatient psychiatric hospital, which is what I had always done and liked very much and the other was here.

I did not intend on spending 30 years here, but I chose it in part because I was a psychologist. I wanted to practice, and I wanted to be a professional, but I also really wanted 12

to be a mom. And I wanted to be able to be there for my kids as well. So I choose a job that I thought would allow me to balance my work and life. I was hoping for the best of both worlds and I thought that working full time at a psychiatric hospital that involved commuting might make it had to be a good mom and a good therapist.

Could you describe what you do in your position as Director of Counseling?

What I do as director is not that much different than what I do as being a counselor, and I would say what we all do as Graham House counselors. I think we all try to really make sure that kids get the support that they need when they get stressed, that kids can get some help in figuring out how to feel better about themselves, I feel like we

all try to help kids negotiate what is a stressful place here, all the counselors do.

I’d say what’s different as director is that I am a liaison with a lot of other different departments on campus. It is really important to coordinate that. As director, besides the individual counseling, I go to the Dean’s meeting so that the cluster deans and I can keep and I can hear what their concerns are. I’ll talk to the Academic Skills Center people.

So I would suppose that as director, one of the pieces that is important is to keep well-connected to all the other people on campus who also provide support to kids. So that’s something I make sure I do, I pay attention to all the other places that kids can get support and that we all collaborate and coordinate.

And I would say that we [the counselors] all do that, because it’s very

important; we’re not an outpatient clinic that’s separate from the school.

What do you think is the best We’re a counseling center that’s feature that the Graham House right in the middle of the school offers to Andover students? so we need to really work well and coordinate with all the other peo- Graham House is closing in ple taking care of kids in the school. two months, and I know you’re not talking about Graham House itself, What do you love most about you’re talking about the counseling your job as Director of center. I think the idea that we’re a Counseling? place where kids can come and absolutely be guaranteed that someone

How about if I rephrase it is going to listen to them no matto, “What do I love the most about ter what they say, will not interrupt working here?” I mean, I really love them, will take them totally seriously, the kids here. To love teenagers is will really honor how they’re feeling, something you either do, or you will keep it private, and that kids can don’t. I couldn’t teach Kindergarten, do that whenever they want and as and I admire those who can, but I much as they want is awesome. I just couldn’t do that. I couldn’t manage think it’s awesome. middle school. And lots of people I do think it’s a gift for kids, a wonder how I can spend 30 years benefit, to have a place to just bounce working with teenagers, but I love the off whatever is in their head. And age. I love the fact that you’re all in the there are no bad consequences for it! process of becoming. That you’re all Nobody gets in trouble for anything figuring out who you want to be and they tell a counselor, because it’s conwhat you care about, and the fact fidential. Nobody’s parents will yell that I as a counselor can have some at them, since they don’t even hear role in guiding you through that pro- about it. Nobody will interrupt and cess of figuring out who you are and say, “Oh you think you have troubles, what you want to be is, I think one of let me tell you about my troubles!” the most awesome things, that’s what I think that’s the biggest gift I love about being a counselor here. of counseling is that you really get

Being a director, I do like to be listened to in a really profound, helping to make things go smooth- supportive way. ly for kids, and that happens more when people are coordinated and Do you think Graham House will collaborated; because, at the end of have the same atmosphere once the day, it is just the kids that I care it moves into the Sykes Center? more about. And it’s good for them if all the adults in their life are on That’s a good question, which the same page and collaborating. I I’ve thought a lot about. We want the wouldn’t say I love that about being same feeling. We want it to always a director, no, I don’t love that about feel comforting, nurturing, supportbeing a director, it’s an important ive, like sanctuary-ish. We want it part of being a director. But, what I to feel like once you enter, you can love about being a director is the kids. take a deep breath and be okay, just

because you’re there. And we will make sure to create that. It won’t be the same furniture; it won’t be the same building. But, every conversation I have been in about the new building, and I’ve been in many, has been that we have to preserve that same feeling of comfort, warmth, and support that’s in Graham House. I walked the architects in here [Graham House] two years ago, before they designed anything, and said, “The counseling center needs to feel like this, I don’t care what you do, but it need to feel like you feel when you walk in here.”

The new space is beautiful.

The garden, outside of the counseling center, is absolutely fantastic. It’s a place of contemplation; the garden is personally my favorite feature of the whole building. The counseling center faces it, I know it’s the garden for the building, but I believe it’s the garden for the counseling center. And it was designed by one of our own landscapers, and then we hired this firm called Zen Landscaping to build it.

It was meant to be a garden that felt peaceful and brought comfort, so we will make sure that feeling is part of the new building. There’ll be more hustle and bustle upstairs, but we have our own little wing and our own garden. And we’re going to work very hard to make sure that it feels as welcoming and comforting as we hope that this building Graham House has felt.

What has been your best memory during your time at Andover?

My best memories always involve things that kids have done. They always do things that have made me proud of them.

13

There’s this one funny and wonderful moment where I opened my door one day and my whole office had sticky notes; every wall, every surface, every chair. Each note said things that were said in my office, things like, “Can I just vent?” or “Can I just lay on your floor and cry?” They had covered my office with sticky notes that basically indicating what a safe and comfortable space my office has been for them. I walked in and cried when I saw it and I loved it. It obviously made me feel good about myself because they were saying how [my office] was such a wonderful place for them to be, but they were all so funny. It was flattering to me, and I was so proud of them that no matter what rough times we had in this space, they were at a place where they could stand back from it and say, “I’ve grown, I’m better, and I’m in a good place. So, thank you.”

So, I have some pretty cool memories of things that kids have done that have made me really proud, and those are my best memories.

Can you describe what is currently happening with the peer health education curriculum?

The Empathy and Balance program! One of the pillars of the strategic plan was empathy and balance, and Dr. Patel and I were the heads of the strategic plan empathy and balance implication program, or something like that. And our charge was developing a comprehensive, four-year health and wellness curriculum for all students and to incorporate social and emotional learning into the educational program of the school. So, we’ve been working for the last two years, we’re in the second 14

year, of developing a comprehensive curriculum that covers issues of health and wellness and issues of social-emotional leaning, which are things like how you treat other people, how you handle your own emotional well-being, how you handle relationships; we’ve spent this summer actually working on lesson plans for the ninth grade curriculum.

We’ve got all of these lesson plans that are developed and we’re now trying to put them together into a 30-hour course that we hope to start teaching within the next couple of years. The schedule may change, but the notion is that every grade will have 30-hours a year of health, wellness, empathy, balance, and how to be a good citizen, and how to take care of yourself. It’s some of the elements that have been part of the existing [Personal and Community Education] program, but more than that, in term of really giving kids opportunities to grow and learn things that aren’t always covered in the classroom.

We’ll certainly be exploring community issues like gender and race and class, we’ll certainly be exploring self-care issues like substance use, nutrition, stress-management, some meditation and mindfulness components, and some about transitioning to Phillips. So, it’s like all the things you sort of expect kids to pick up when they come here, but maybe they don’t. So, we’re developing that.

Dr. Patel and I are working on it together with Mrs. Elliott’s office, both the Wellness Center and the Dean of Students. When it’s done, we expect to have done what we were asked to do: four-years with 30-hours a year focusing on emotional development, character development,

community development, self-care, health and wellness topics, and we’re making progress on it. We hope that over time, that becomes part of what every kid does, they have all of their academic subjects and they’ll have empathy and balance class. It’s will be a place to grow in other ways. Not that these things aren’t brought up in other classes, but it’s just that there isn’t a place dedicated to talk about this stuff.

Some house counselors and advisors do a great job of having these conversations, but we were asked to find a dedicated and constant way for all kids to have these conversations. So that’s the empathy and balance program. While it isn’t “peer health,” we certainly will continue the model of older kids being a part of the teaching of younger kids, because that is a terrific model. We were told to have a developmental, appropriate curriculum; meaning, find out what works for ninth and tenth graders, and what works for eleventh and twelfth graders.

Are any changes being made to the existing PACE program?

The PACE program curriculum itself was re-done this summer. Ms. Strong did a lot of work this week, and she’s now pretty much coordinating the PACE program.

She’s doing the bulk of the work for the PACE program, which is awesome. She’s doing the bulk of the work with the PACE program, and she spent time this summer re-doing some of the lesson plans and curriculum, so it’s not a new course, but it has adapted.

A part of that is because some of these topics are being put

into the [Physical Education] program a little bit more. Dr. Patel has been working with Coach Modeste and the nurse practitioners to put some of this material, particularly topics of healthy relationships, nutrition, self-care, and physical health to put these topics into the PE program.

So, there’ll be a redistribution of what the PACE and PE programs do. That’s already happening. And we may end up piloting some of this ninth grade curriculum from the empathy and balance program before everything is ready, because we would be waiting for years if we wanted everything to be perfect. Perfect isn’t a good goal.

Therefore, we may be piloting some programs within the next few years.

cool thing. I’ve just always been really interested in understanding what people do. That’s really all psychology is. That’s one reason. I’ve also always been nosy or curious in seeing why people do what they do. And the other thing is, I’m much better one-onone than I am in large groups. I didn’t totally know that, but I think part of why I gravitated to the field is because in psychology, if you’re a therapist, you get to work with one person at a time. I get to have all of my energy and attention focused on one person at a time, which is easier than trying to focus on lots and lots of people, and the possibilities of helping someone think differently or feel better about themselves. It’s pretty cool to think you could help someone think Why did you decide to go into the a little differently about themselves, field of clinical psychology? you could help someone feel a litMore specifically, why an tle bit more in control of their lives, interest in adolescents? you could help someone feel better about going forward. The selfish part

Understanding why people is that it’s pretty satisfying, I mean, do what they do, I think, is a really it’s hard to be a therapist since it

doesn’t always go well, but the opportunity to have someone trust you so much and share so much personal [things]; I so respect that. I so honor that kids are willing to share so much with me. I’m humbled by the trust that people are willing to give to a therapist, and I think that’s awesome. I think I’m drawn to that. I’m drawn to not getting distracted and just having one person I’m thinking about.

Psychology is like a puzzle to me, and I love helping people figure things out. You dig around, you help figure out what’s going on underneath, and then all of a sudden it comes together and you feel better.

I’ve always kind of liked that, I’ve always kind of like figuring out how things fit together and that’s part of enjoying and understanding why things work the way they work and why people work the way they work and helping people see stuff. And those are some reasons I’m drawn to psychology.

SYKES WELLNESS CENTER

Graham House Counseling Center has moved to the Rebecca M. Sykes Wellness Center along with Isham Health Center. Turn to page 52 for an inside tour on the new location!

15

Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship

By ADRIENNE ZHANG Every relationship is different, and every person is looking for something different in a relationship, so there’s really no “perfect” couple. But there are a few criteria that every healthy relationship should fulfill in order for the participants to feel safe and content.

1. Communication

Although you have probably heard this a million times, the importance of communication in a healthy relationship is of paramount importance! There is no overemphasizing! Without open, direct and honest communication, there is no way for either participant to convey what they’re happy and not happy about, or what they feel comfortable or uncomfortable about.

2. Mutual Trust

Relationships cannot be built on paranoia and jealousy. Even if you care for your partner deeply, you should still give them a little space. Trust that they make sane decisions and are capable of not ogling other girls/guys/people.

3. Individuality

This is a little contradictory to the fourth, but despite sacrificing a little, you still need to retain and maintain your personal interests. Nobody is worth giving up hobbies or friends. When a relationship is taking a serious toll on a sport, club or your grades, then you know that you are over-committed and your partner may be expecting too much from you. Make sure you are true to yourself and you do not make choices solely on the opinions of your partner.

4. Forgiveness

Everybody makes mistakes, and people in relationships are no different. If your partner does something to betray your trust, either work to forgive them and move on together, or decide whether you think the relationship is worth saving. This is entirely your choice and you should not feel pressured to decide one way or another.

5. Compromise

Once you are in a relationship, you have to be willing to give up time and effort. It is not a one sided catering service to “satisfy” one individual. It is a relationship, which means both participants have to put in equal amounts of effort and emotion. If your partner is going through a rough patch, take some time out of your day to comfort them.

16

Examining Andover’s Hook-Up Culture

By GRACE LIMONCELLI

As administration and faculty try to push for the discussion of healthy relationships, we, the students of this esteemed academy, continue to push back. In Andover’s diverse community of thought, why has the universal answer to dating been only the propagation of a semi-secretive hook-up culture? During high school, is dating out-dated or just forgotten? For the romantics scattered among the student body, and yes, I do believe this imaginative breed has not gone extinct, I implore you to look at any Jane Austen, Thomas Hardy, or Shakespeare masterpiece, and then look up.

“Why has the universal answer to dating only been the propagation of a semisecretive hook-up culture?”

Certainly, uncountable differences exist between these literary worlds and the modern reality within the Andover bubble, but when and how did courtship turn into “Netflix and chill?” I do not mean to say that everyone should be expected to partake in a Commons date-night by any means, but as people are “free” to pursue casual relationships as they please, the same respect towards “going out” on campus has been coated in stigma.

“When and how did courtship turn into ‘Netflix and chill?’”

In pursuing any kind of relationship, be it romantic, scholarly, or platonic in nature, there are a number of parties you owe some honesty to.

First of all, you should be true to your

principles, to your boundaries, and with yourself. Being part of a relationship does not mean losing yourself, but rather being a part of someone else’s life and opening up enough to have him/her/them present in yours. General satisfaction often relies on how expectations are fulfilled (or not). Having realistic expectations for a partner requires honest communication about commitment level, comfort, goals, and desires. All of these areas may be potentially jeopardized, especially when individuals are part of a community as dynamic and diverse as Andover.

“Being part of a relationship does not mean losing yourself, but rather being a part of someone else’s life and opening up enough to have him/her/them present in yours.”

Normally, I see peers struggle in their romantic relationships when they choose to play hard ­to g­ et and act closed­off, instead of being responsive.

There is such a pressure to “play it cool” by acting disinterested that the individual on the receiving end often does not “get hooked,” but instead becomes disheartened towards the future of the relationship. Recognizing that people may misinterpret or miss hidden messages, I recommend being as straightforward and honest as possible. Not everything has to be a game of cat and mouse! Clear communication can put partners on the same page, and real relationships are supposed to be two-way streets where partners can support each other. Also, this puts up a wall between you and the person you want to get to know you.

“All relationships have the potential to thrive with an administration that pushes towards open communication.”

Healthy relationships may exist on all different fronts. Each comes with assorted motivations, intimacy levels, labels, and expectations. From friends with benefits to significant others, all relationships have the potential to thrive with an administration that pushes towards open communication.

In reality, a culture of hooking-up is not exclusive from a culture of dating, but a culture of disrespect must always exist on a separate plane from a culture of mutuality and acceptance. Lack of trust does not lead to beneficial interaction and any relationship that would take significant amounts of time out of an already-busy schedule could not be considered a “healthy” one either.

“The present system lacks the mutual respect, empathy, privacy, and judgment-free atmosphere that exist in most healthy relationships.”

Some claim that the current culture of hook-ups takes away the pressure and stress of having a significant other. In reality, the present system lacks the mutual respect, empathy, privacy, and judgment-free atmosphere that exist in most healthy relationships. With more of these characteristics, which are present in society in the classroom, we can work towards developing a more open community that many students came to Andover to be a part of.

17

Looking Far Beyond the Grade in Student-Teacher Relationships

By BRETT SAWKA

At Andover, or any school, for that matter, relationships between students and teachers are constantly being built. From animosity towards an unreasonably hard teacher to a real teacher-student connection, each student has some degree of rapport with their teachers. There are various types of relationships between students and teachers. Some students form a real bond with their teachers, while others do not have strong relationships outside the classroom. While you would ideally only get teachers you like, sometimes you do not like your teachers, which can then create a rather hostile relationship. These varying feelings can be on a personal level, where the student and teacher simply do not get along for reasons beyond the understanding of others.

Feelings can also form on a more technical level, where a student-teacher relationship is based on enjoyment of the class, type of class, or workload.

Further, these relationships 18

can serve various functions. Most notably, students will occasionally connect with a teacher for the sake of improving their grade, an action more commonly known as “sucking up.” However, sucking up is not the extent of a student-teacher relationship function. Many students do form real connections with teachers, and seek their mentorship and support outside of class as well as college recommendation letters. In the highstress environment of this school, it is easy to forget about your relations with teachers. It is time to take a closer look at how students at this school interact with their educators.

The type of relationship formed between a student and a teacher is generally determined by two things: personality and the context in which the student and teacher interact. It is impossible to generalize personal feelings towards each other, so I will not be trying to explain how those innate feelings affect students’ relationships with teachers. I will instead focus how the type of class,

teaching style, and workload affect student-teacher relationships. For example, how does a relationship vary from a discussion based class, like English or History, to a lecture based or analytical class, like math or science? In an interview with Feeling Blue, Aditya Krishnamachar ’17 revealed that it is usually easier to build a relationship in a discussion based class, because you are more able to discuss topics on a more personal level, sometimes which are not even relevant to the subject at hand.

As mentioned before, there are different functions that a relationship between a student and teacher can serve, and students will intentionally build their relationships to serve a desired purpose. Krishnamachar commented that, because of students sucking up to their teachers, their grades may be slightly higher than their true ability level. Because sucking up can be easily executed and concealed, it actually can yield a successful result, making it a somewhat widely used when building relationships with teachers.

While some students form relationships with teachers just for the sake of improving a grade, some student-teacher relationships are real connections between two people.

Students sometimes seek advice from teachers, or turn to them for support.

These relationships are the ones that carry on even after we graduate Andover. When students have true connections and respect for their teachers, they are more motivated to get involved and invest in a class. Additionally, being a boarding school, the ability to live with our teachers can be beneficial. By living with some teachers, they have better understandings of us not as students but as people too.

The Importance of Intimacy

By EVELYN MESLER

Intimacy is a cornerstone for any close, healthy relationship. But being intimate with someone does not necessarily imply physical intimacy. Physical intimacy is just one part of a spectrum of actions someone can take to be intimate with their partner; there is also a level of emotional intimacy and trust that can deepen physical intimacy.

“Being intimate with someone doesn’t necessarily imply physical intimacy.”

At Phillips Academy, it can be difficult to establish intimacy with those outside of one’s own structured social groups (sports teams, dorms, etc.). Factors like staggering workloads, dozens of extracurricular activities, and the stress of being away from home can isolate a Phillips Academy student from their peers. Stress pushes students to focus solely on themselves and the immediate issues they face. Instead of appreciating the intimacy of a relationship that goes further than a shared ‘hi’ on the paths, many at Andover maintain surface-level relationships with their peers and focus most of their energy on themselves.

“The stress of being away from home can isolate a Phillips Academy student from their peers.”

This understandable self-advocacy and responsibility are both vital characteristics you need to

be successful at Andover. But, the necessity of an in ward-looking mindset does not negate the damage this culture can do to the development of intimate relationships across campus. Additionally, the taxing environment created by Andover’s high stress atmosphere contributes significantly to a culture centered on instant gratification. After all, it is certainly easier to share a moment of physical intimacy and be instantly rewarded than to form a complex relationship based upon trust which undoubtedly takes time not readily available in Andover schedules. Intimacy, allowing yourself to be vulnerable with another person, is vital for any close relationship, whether it be friendly or romantic.

“Andover’s high stress atmosphere contributes significantly to a culture centered on instant gratification.”

Friendships can be healthy relationships without being intimate. It is common to be friends with someone you may not be comfortable being vulnerable with. But, after plenty of PACE seminars and discussions on campus, I’ve come to see intimacy as a critical component to a romantic or any relationship. Intimacy demands a level of trust and respect between all parties. Without the presence of fundamental elements like trust and respect in a romantic relationship, can it really be labeled as a healthy?

“Intimacy demands a level of trust and respect between all parties.”

Write for Relationships!

Email lwain 19

Tackling Toxic Relationships

By ZACHARY RUFFIN

Even though friendships are meant to be enjoyable, there are times in which they can be toxic. Here are various ways to tackle some common examples of this, in order to move forward and hopefully enjoy your social life again.

BEING CLINGY Synopsis: Person 1 seems to always want Person 2’s company, such as by asking you to hang out with them repeatedly or always trying to be near you in a larger setting. This example can show how Person 2 has no time separate from Person 1 due to their constant presence, which might be the issue. However, it can also show an oversaturation of intimacy as there is too much contact between the two people. This second idea is a strong allusion to the proverb, “Too much of a good thing can often be a bad thing.”

Be honest. There can be various reasons as to why you may not like having a person around, if you identify with Person 2. As such, you need to analyze the situations where you are with/around Person 1.

Ask questions like: • How do I feel going into these interactions?

• Am I comfortable with anything the friend is saying?

• Do I initiate any of the conversations/interactions we have?

If you answer negatively to any of these questions, you should talk with your friend about what you and your body need, especially if your friend can help contribute to any of these needs. This is because your body needs certain things, which can range from sustenance to time alone, and a lack of any of the supplements of your checklist can result in negative or unwanted feelings.

20

If you answered positively to all the questions above, you should still have an honest talk with your friend regarding how you feel with your relationship. Even if it seems like a daunting task, honesty will make it easier to move forward, whatever that may entail. If you do not feel comfortable talking in front of the friend in question, consider writing a letter describing everything you are feeling and give it to them. Wait for their response in order to determine your next move.

BREAKING PROMISES

Synopsis: Person 1 tries to make arrangements that Person 2 keeps skipping. This can lead to frustration between the two people since there is no room to connect and form a meaningful connection. It can also come across as Person 2 not being as committed to the relationship in question, thus hurting Person 1’s, whether intentional or not.

If you happen to be Person 2 here, you could personally schedule a time for you and your friend(s) to hang out and catch up that you know everyone can attend. By you doing this you are showing that you care about the relationship enough to try to find a solution that everyone can support.

If you (Person 2) could not attend because of what the event entailed, be honest with your friends(s) and let them know about the things you would prefer to do. It is okay for you to not like something your friend does, but you should be considerate when discussing this contrasting opinion as it could come across as insensitive and condescending.

Both of these recommendations require you to make the first move. You should have the courage to be honest with your friend about why you haven’t been able to be around as much, especially if you value their company.

INTER-GROUP DYNAMICS

Sometimes, especially at PA, situations involving various friends can occur, which leaves room for tension. This can range from romantic endeavors to the smallest of arguments. These problems can become blown out of proportion due to them not being addressed, which lets the emotions each person involved has become energy to fuel a harmful rage. Not only does this show an unwillingness to talk, but it can also display a multitude of fractured relationships, some that may not ever be able to be fixed.

Talk with all parties involved for their perspectives. One reason conflicts might arise is because of miscommunication, possibly due to someone’s opinion being overlooked or misconstrued. As such, set space aside for everyone involved to honestly listen and discuss each others viewpoints and interpretations.

If this is still not working, get a mediator. Mediators, ideally, are people that everyone involved in the conflict are comfortable talking to but do not have a clear bias when it comes to who is ‘right.’ Due to this, they are able to provide a fresh, outside opinion, while also helping to keep any unnecessary feelings or statements internal between the people in the conflict. They can also help to analyze what each person is saying, so that nothing is negatively misinterpreted.

21

The Diversity Section works toward creating a much more inclusive and accepting environment within the Andover community. Transcending various topics such as Race, Ethnicity, Gender, Sexual Orientation, Social Class, and Religion, we strive to address issues felt by many students on campus.

Diversity in One Word

“

We asked thirteen students to define diversity in one word. Here is what they said:

Race Openness Discrimination Self-segregation Multiculturalism Issues CAMD

Experiences

Change Variety Differences

Culture

Inclusivity

22

Andover by the Numbers

42.2% 9% 212 38 45 25% 106 287 106 851 1138 Information from andover.edu

International Students

Students of Color

Teaching Faculty

Countries Represented

States Represented

Faculty of Color

Number of Female Faculty

Day Students

Number of Male Faculty

Boarding Students

Total Students

23

Student Identity Profiles Mekedes Belayneh ‘18

Reporting by EMILY NDIOKHO Where do you call home?

Alexandria, Virginia.

Where were you born?

Washington D.C. What’s the racial/ethnic background of your parents?

Both of my parents are Ethiopian.

Do you identify more with your race or your ethnicity or both?

My ethnicity, mainly because I still have very strong ties with the culture of my ethnicity and it’s very prevalent in my daily life.

What’s your favorite thing about being Ethiopian?

The food. Hands-down.

Where do you call home on campus?

If this were last year, I would say Isham is my home, but now that I think about it, I would say the Makerspace in the basement of library. They have really comfy chairs.

Where do you call home?

Teaneck, New Jersey.

Where were you born?

New York, New York What’s the racial/ethnic background of your parents?

My mom is Jamaican and Chinese, and my dad is Jamaican.

Do you identify more with your race or your ethnicity or both?

I identify with both, because within each racial group there are a lot of places you can be from so it’s kind of broad if you just say that you’re “Black” but you could be a Black-African or a Black-Caribbean. Identifying with both is a good balance.

What’s your favorite thing about being your ancestry?

The food and the music!

Where do you call home on campus?

I call CAMD my campus home.

Miles Harris ‘16

24

Zoe Sylvester-Chin ‘19

Where do you call home?

Astoria, Queens, New York Where were you born?

Long Island City, Queens, New York What’s the racial/ethnic background(s) of your parents?

African-American with ancestors from Benin and Hispanic [regions], my granddad is from Panama.

Do you identify more with your race or your ethnicity or a bit of both?

Both; being black is more race than ethnicity because most of us don’t know where we are from, and I found out rather recently. So I still think of my ancestors being from the whole continent instead of a specific group.

What’s your favorite thing about being African-American?

The sense of belonging when being around other African-Americans because we have been through the same struggles.

Where do you call home on campus?

Bishop Hall

Where do you call home?

I honestly call home wherever my friends and family are.

Where were you born?

I was born in Boston, Mass.

What’s the racial/ethnic background of your parents?

My dad is straight from Ireland, and my mom is a first-generation American from Antigua.

Do you identify more with your race or your ethnicity or both?

I identify more with my ethnicity since my race has never been a part of my life.

What’s your favorite thing about being biracial?

It’s really easy for me to make friends with people who are also of my same ethnicities; I found that we have a lot in common to talk about.

Where do you call home on campus?

I call a few places home; CAMD and GW are where I spend most of my time on campus so I would call those places my home away from home.

Jason O’Dwyer ‘18

Alexis Lefft ‘16 Where do you call home?

South Carolina Where were you born?

South Carolina What’s the racial/ethnic background of your parents?

African-American Do you identify more with your race or your ethnicity or both?

My race.

What’s your favorite thing about being an African-American?

I think the community of black women, like the people you can connect with on campus and beyond. I enjoy the affinity space of black womanhood.

Where do you call home on campus?

CAMD.

Where do you call home?

New Jersey Where were you born?

I was born in New Jersey, about 30 minutes away from where I live now.

What’s the racial/ethnic background of your parents?

My parents are Columbian and I’m not sure what they identify as in terms of race.

Do you identify more with your race or your ethnicity or both?

Definitely my ethnicity, I identify as Latina, but I’m still looking more into what I identify as racially.

What’s your favorite thing about being Columbian/Latina?

Definitely how strong we are, because there are a lot of hardships that I think go into being any woman of whatever race or ethnicity.

Where do you call home on campus?

I think either CAMD or this black chair in my room that’s super comfortable. I could sleep there forever.

Cindy Espinosa ‘18

25

Trevor Lazar ‘17

Madison Pettaway ‘17

Where do you call home?

I am from Phoenix, Arizona.

Where were you born?

I was born in Greenbrae, California, just outside of San Francisco.

What’s the racial/ethnic background of your parents?

Both my parents are white. My mom is 100% Italian, while my dad is a mix of several Eastern European ethnicities. Whenever people ask me my ethnicity, I normally say that I am Italian.

Do you identify more with your race or your ethnicity or a bit of both?

I would say I identify more with my ethnicity, but I would argue that that’s a consequence of my whiteness. Until I came to Andover, I had never really thought about my race because I was never placed in an environment where I had to. My privilege as a white person is subconscious but at the same time present in everything I do.

What’s your favorite thing about being Italian/White?

I’ve never really felt proud to be white to be completely honest.

In being conscious of my privilege, and what that has led to both historically and personally, I feel that it’s my responsibility to be the best ally I can be, and to continue to learn about all aspects of my identity. I do love Italian home-cooked meals though; nothing beats my mom’s cooking.

Where do you call home on campus?

The token response would of course be my dorm, but honestly my home on this campus can be anywhere. It’s often wherever I am with my friends or even in the classroom with my favorite teacher. I view home as a place where I can calm down and just be content, despite whatever stresses or problems are going on in my life.

Where do you call home?

Providence, RI Where were you born?

Providence, RI What’s the racial/ethnic background(s) of your parents?

My dad is Black and German, and my mom is Black and Blackfoot Native American.

Do you identify more with your race or your ethnicity or a bit of both?

Overall, I identify more with my race. I am a proud multiracial woman, but I have always identified more with my Black side.

I learn about and appreciate my German and Blackfoot Native American heritages, but I do not feel extremely personally connected to them.

What’s your favorite thing about being multicultural?

My favorite thing about being multiracial at Andover is having such an amazing communities like MOSAIC, the Sisterhood, and Af-Lat-Am. I don’t have access to these supportive, nurturing, educational, and inspiring communities of people of color at home, and these communities have really added to my exploration and development of racial and ethnic identity.

Where do you call home on campus?

My dorm and CAMD are the two physical places that I call home on this campus, but I also associate people with home.

I am fortunate enough to have so many amazing adults and friends on campus, whom I love and trust, but my two best friends, Auguste White and Alex Ma, have been with me since day one and they know all of the things that I am afraid or shy to reveal to all of the other people in my life.

26

Rawit Assamongkol ‘18

Basil Alfaro ‘18

Where do you call home?

Bangkok, Thailand Where were you born?

Bangkok, Thailand What’s the racial/ethnic background of your parents?

They are third-generation Chinese immigrants, but they assimilate so well that they are basically Thai.

What’s your favorite thing about being Thai?

The best part is being able to be [an] international [student] and bring my culture to this great, great place and increase the cultural diversity here Where do you call home on campus?

It would have to be Bush’s room, which is room 201 in America House. Very soon, I expect it to be room 202 in Carter House.

For me, home is where experiences happen, it’s where I spend my time with friends, it’s where I make my memories. And, Carter House, I’ve been there for five weeks and with America House, I was there for 30, so naturally, I would have memories there: staying up until 4:30 a.m. with my roommate or yelling at Dr. Hagler for coming in with his shoes on. As for Carter House, not much has been experienced… not yet.

Where do you call home?

Charleston, South Carolina, United States.

Where were you born?

Charleston, South Carolina.

What’s the racial/ethnic background of your parents?

My dad is 100% Spanish and my mom is just English.

Do you identify more with your race or your ethnicity or a little bit of both?

I identify more with my ethnicities because a lot of the time when I was growing up, I was exposed a lot more to Spanish culture, so I identify as Hispanic, but white-Hispanic as much as Spaniard.

What’s your favorite thing about being a person of Spanish descent?

My favorite thing about it is the Spanish language and the culture, Latin America, and Spain itself, and being able to speak Spanish and being exposed to all elements of culture about it is really an amazing experience.

Where do you call home on campus?

If I had to claim a home on campus, it’d be America House.

Even though I was only there for a year.

Write for Diversity!

Email salmayahi & endiokho 27

Breaking Down Diversity at Andover Reporting by MALIKA DIA

Brett Sawka ‘17

What does diversity mean to you?

To me, diversity means involving different people, opinions, thoughts, etc. in a community or environment. There is an uncountable amount of things that makes people diverse, and to include as many of these things as possible would be a step towards creating the most enriching and interesting setting possible.

Do you think there is enough diversity on campus?

It is too hard to define “enough” when talking about diversity. In my opinion, diversification helps to make a community like Andover more developed and comprehensible, so I would welcome any attempts towards further diversifying campus. Because diversity is really an unquantifiable idea, the 28

notion of “enough diversity” should not be a reason to stop striving towards a more diverse setting. Andover is one of the most diverse communities most of us will be a part of in our lifetimes, but that does not necessarily mean we have reached a point of “enough” diversity.

Do you think people are aware of how diversity affects our community?

It depends on the person. I would say that not everyone is aware, but a good amount of people do realize how Andover’s diversity affects the community and everyday life. For me, having peers from so many different regions and cultures has shown me how diversity affects the community. Just from being here, I have had the opportunity to learn about people’s, lifestyles in other countries, religious practices I was unfamiliar with, and about people’s experiences

with sexuality and gender expression.

Being a part of this community has allowed me to learn so much about different people, which is purely a result of the community’s diversity.

Do you think Andover has anything left to do in regards to diversity, if so what are your suggestions?

As long as Andover continues to promote the awareness of diversity and its effects and continues to create a diverse space unlike any other, I am not sure what else can be done to further develop diversity in the community. Involving people in discussions about diversity is a priority – the value of programs like PACE and everything the CAMD office offers should not be understated. If the people in the Andover community take advantage of having such a diverse community, then we will be more able to learn and develop as people.

Emily Ndiokho ‘18

What does diversity mean to you?

That’s a really big question.

To me, diversity is various aspects of one’s identity that make up a person and how they appear or don’t appear in a community that they live in. It could be anything from like the obvious factors that we see on a visual stance of race or sometimes is [how] someone shows the way they identify by gender, but then [is] also more invisible standpoint things like class, or geographical origin that can sometimes be masqueraded. So diversity is really just the aspects that make up a person.

Do you think there is enough diversity on campus?

I think there is enough diversity in some aspects of campus like when it comes to gender where our campus is about 51% male and 49% female, which is a pretty good balance. But then in some cases we aren’t as diverse, like the number of international students we have or the number of students of color or

the number of students from a certain state. So, I feel like in some aspects of diversity we are diverse and we do have good amounts of people representing a certain identity factor, but in other aspects Andover could do a lot more. Diversity is sometimes more than just a number; for example, if we say we have [an] x amount of Asian kids, but a majority of these Asian kids are from the exact same town, is it really diverse? Because it is likely that they’ve had similar experiences growing up. So I do feel that while Andover does a good job in some aspects of diversity, it could improve in some other aspects.

Do you think people are aware of how diversity affects our community?

Some are more aware than others, but I would like to think that everyone is aware of diversity; it’s just that some people are more aware that there are more aspects of diversity. Often times I feel like when people hear the word diversity, they think race or gender, but never anything more than those two. So I feel like some people are aware that diversity is more than just one aspect of identity, while other people are still in that mindset that identity is just one single entity even though it’s multi-faceted. One of my goals, at least here at Andover, is learning as much as possible about these different aspects of diversity so that when I meet other people in the “real world,” I’ll be able to understand and empathize more with their background and know that not everyone has had the same privileges or same oppressions that I’ve had.

Do you think Andover has anything left to do in regards to diversity? If so, what are your suggestions?

I definitely think that being a bigger school is something that they’ve done, and I feel like our size of 1,100-something kids is a good size, and they should maintain that because, while it doesn’t give you the feeling of knowing every single person in your grade, you still have that aspect of “Oh, I’ve met someone twice, but we were really able to connect and learn from each other.” So the size of the school is a very good idea. I also think Andover could really strongly encourage these discussions of diversity. Sometimes people might be uncomfortable with things that might be more controversial; for example, with police brutality, some people feel as though if “said person of color was doing something wrong then why should we be lenient on them” without recognizing that it’s a recurring problem. Multifaceted arguments, where there are different points might lead to “oh we don’t need to get into this now,” are the sorts of discussions that we need more of on campus, even if they bring uncomfortable situations between different groups of people or [if] they leave the campus a bit more divided.

The hard topics that we often try to avoid or save for our intimate friend groups are the topics we should be discussing in a more open setting for everyone, not necessarily those who have tended to know more about different aspects of identity, but also those who are newer to the Andover culture or new to America or new to understanding topics of diversity.

29

Kristy Lam ‘17

What does diversity mean to you?

I think that diversity is celebrating the differences between people: not only the physical aspects of race, gender, etc., but also the difference of opinions and cultures. To me, diversity is having dinner with my friends, each of whom come from a different part of the world, and sharing our perspectives on different issues, or teaching each other phrases in other languages.

Do you think there is enough diversity on campus?

I don’t think we should think in terms of whether or not we have “enough” diversity on campus. How ever, the Andover community is, as intended, quite diverse—arguably more diverse than the international school that I came from. If everyone maintains an open mind, I don’t think it is ever harmful to 30

have as much diversity as possible! community. Through these channels, I have been shown different perspecDo you think people are aware of tives that allow me to attempt to how diversity affects our understand complex issues in a way community? that doesn’t just affect myself, but my peers and people who are different

I am sure people are aware of from me. how diversity affects our community, though some may be more aware Do you think Andover has anythan others. Personally, as an internathing left to do in regards to tional student, I felt that my first year diversity, if so what are your at Andover made me hyper-aware of suggestions? my own cultural differences; things that were normal to me back home I really think that Andover seemed weird to others when I came should continue promoting the here—from small things like putting discussions we have been having soy sauce on scrambled eggs, to my on race, gender, culture, and other lack of American cultural knowledge. forms of diversity. The school should The Andover community is aware of place emphasis on the fact that even and benefits from its diversity. The though Andover students, faculty multitude of clubs, activities and and staff may have completely differstudent-published writings on cam- ent experiences from one another, we pus provide me with opportunities still share the same planet and 99.9% to take advantage of our diverse of our DNA. It can only be through campus by promoting intellectual understanding, then overcoming our conversations on controversial is- differences that will allow us to live in sues that have arisen in the global a more harmonious future.

Jules Comte ‘16

What does diversity mean to you?

Diversity means difference, anytime that you have any difference with race, gender, class, sexual orientation, ability, etc. Diversity of thought is something that is also important to consider. I think diversity is being different from each other and what we choose to make of those differences.

Do you think there is enough diversity on campus?

Yes. I’d have a hard time saying that we don’t have enough because this is probably the most diverse place I’ll ever live in my life, and a tremendous amount of effort is put into putting this intentionally diverse community together.

For me, there is enough diversity out of great fondness for the people I meet everyday. If I can think of one group of people who I think

should be represented on campus more is people with physical disabilities. We definitely have people with other types of disabilities. For example, my house counselor, Mr. Djamoos, he has prosthetic legs, but he’s done amazing things. He is one of the few people on campus who is disabled physically. So if there has to be one group that [should be] represented more, it is physically disabled people.

Do you think people are aware of how diversity affects our community?

Not everyone is aware of it, simply because you have different people who go to different lengths to think critically about what diversity means. The fact that such a small proportion of the student body goes to the CAMD office speaks to how people don’t realize the educational opportunities they have, just [ from] living in a diverse community.

Do you think Andover has anything left to do in regards to diversity?

My next step forward would be towards other white, heterosexual, cis-gendered, upper middle class males, etc. There is a huge role to be played in calling in people of privilege into creating an equitable and inclusive community. That’s probably what’s missing most right now, because when you have anything that is sponsored by the CAMD office, it’s usually by people who are “minorities” or are not in positions of privilege. It’s very useful, for example, for international students to talk amongst themselves and seek support from each other, but I think the real improvement that needs to be made is “how can we develop a curiosity and a drive within the privileged [people] in this community to actually educate themselves and think critically about their privileges and how they can act upon them?”

31

Pablo Sanchez ‘19

What does diversity mean to you?

There is a lot more diversity they are excluding from their everythan what I am used to, but at the day lives. same time, there is still a lot more

Diversity to me is not just be- that could be done in terms of proDo you think Andover has ing from a different part of the world moting diversity, but there still is a anything left to do in or a different country or a different large amount overall. regards to diversity? state. It’s having a different background, the way you were brought Do you think people are aware of They have done a lot in up. You could be from, let’s say, Canahow diversity affects our terms of promoting diversity and da and still have the same upbringing community? promoting learning about other as someone else who was from Peru. cultures. But I feel like if they could The culture is different, but you could I definitely think people are somehow promote, for lack of a betstill [have been] brought up in the aware of how diversity changes our ter term, “true” knowledge of other same environment. So it’s just being everyday lives, but I’m not entirely cultures because few people actualbrought up in a different environ- sure that they know the extent of it. ly take the time and the effort out of ment, having different ideas, and also Being exposed to different cultures their day to really learn about differthinking differently, really changes the way you think and ent identities and culture, or others see the world, and I feel like some do it, but they don’t really care or are Do you think there is enough people who are exposed to differ- only doing it for college. Apart from diversity on campus? ent cultures don’t know what they that, [Andover has] done a really are missing out on or what cultures good job so far.

32

Best Ways to Get More Involved on Campus Starting in the Winter Term

By SERENA REN

It is great that you want to be more involved in the Andover community! It definitely has its benefits. You will make more connections with people in the community, make new close friends, develop a sense of school spirit, and make the most out of your Andover experience.

Here are some ways to get involved:

1. Join a club!

Andover has such a wide range of clubs for people with all kinds of interests. There are clubs that focus on school subjects, community engagement, competition-based activities, student interests, etc. Joining a club is a great way to make friends who have the same interests as you and make more connections. Look on PAnet for the compiled list of all the clubs on campus and their leaders. Feel free to reach out to people and get on lots of email lists!

2. Try out for a sports team!

Through sports, you can develop strong friendships and bonds with other team members. You can also develop a sense of confidence and drive. And, of course, you will get more exercise and develop a healthier lifestyle! Joining a sports team can give you the opportunity to truly expand your horizons.

3. Run for a leadership position!

Andover has many leadership opportunities for every grade. There are class representatives, cluster councils, club boards, Blue Key Heads, and many more positions that you can work towards. Running for a position can give you the motivation to know your peers better and understand better how the school works.

4. Find other programs to join!

You could join a music band, a theatre production, a community engagement program during the school year. You can even get involved during the summer, by joining a Learning In the World program, an SYA program, etc. It is a great way for you to meet new people and have fantastic learning experiences.

33

Academic Support Systems

By JUSTICE ROBINSON

There is a plethora of resources for academic support and, therefore, academic excellence at Phillips Academy. There is no question about it. But how accessible are these things for such an intentionally diverse body of students? Operating with so many different people who all have different learning and studying styles, how is the school supposed to accommodate everyone? And how well do these resources actually support students?

Conference

Conference is a wonderful 30-minute period where students can go reach out to their teachers and seek assistance. While the idea is a helpful one, conference seems to be very short when put to good use.

It’s one thing to go to conference to get help on one’s homework problem from the previous night, but another to go to conference in hopes of learning an entire concept. Of course conference can’t be made into a whole class block, but extending it 5-10 minutes longer would make a large 34

difference in number of students who get the assistance they need and the level of understanding achieved by these students. Also, teachers tend to make conference seem like an extra “point” for their end grade, instead of an actual support center for students seeking help. However, conference is the place where you can get the help that you need, not just a place where you go and flash your face to your teacher to boost your grade up if you are on the border.

Tutors

The peer tutoring program is one of the most beneficial resources of Andover’s Academic Support.

In the Andover student population, there are many mixed opinions surrounding the tutor system and its effectiveness. Blake Campbell ’18 describes the process of obtaining a Peer Tutor as “easy,” stating, “All you have to do is fill out a sheet of paper and turn it in.” This raises the question, how can you adequately match two people together based off of what is written on a sheet of paper? If the tutoring experience is to be a beneficial one, it is necessary that the tutor

and the tutee a good relationship, because it can be very helpful to have a peer-tutor. A peer-tutor is someone who has been through that specific class and even been successful enough to be able to relay their knowledge to others. It also helps to have someone around your age, who is also under more or less the same stress level as you are as a fellow Phillips Academy student. Having that peer to relate to can be very helpful when learning somewhat challenging material.

Study Centers

Study centers offer aid to students who may not have time during the day to search for the assistance they require. From 8-9:15 pm, Monday through Thursday, there are several different subject areas available for students at study hall. The Math (Morse), Science (Gelb), and the Writing (PACC) Centers offer both peer tutor and faculty support to students. Study hall is actually quite helpful for most PA students who are always busy doing everything at once. However, like conference period and the majority of things at Andover, even study hall can turn into a competition. With the sign-in policy used at subject study halls, students show up partly for the help they will receive, but even more for the credit their teachers will end up giving them for “putting in effort.” Unfortunately, the culture surrounding academic support here at Andover not only condones but also encourages this type of behavior.

In short, the academic support options at Andover are both plentiful and substantial to achieve its main goal: helping students. The

culture around getting academic help could use a lot of work as many students either feel that they need to seek help to please their teacher or that they shouldn’t seek help at all because it shows a lack of intellect,

which is certainly not true. Nevertheless, the faculty and the academic skills center have done a great job of offering many opportunities for extra help, but making proper use of them is all up to each student.

Top 5 Places to Study that You May Not Often Use

By RYAN GOGGINS

Upon your first arrival at PA, upperclassmen and other Andover experts probably recommended that you study in the library. However, believe it or not, there are many other places in which you are far more likely to complete work around campus than the library. Five area that may be a more effective study spaces are Gelb (science center), Morse (math building), Sam Phil (history/language building), and Graves basement (music building). These five locations each contain quiet places that can pretty much guarantee you a distraction-free environment if you are able to put down your phone

and keep your focus.

Gelb Science Center

Gelb is a great place for studying because it can be extremely quiet, and there is not a lot of foot traffic to distract you from your work.

Another reason that makes Gelb a great study area is that you can get assistance with work from your science classes. You can almost always find an instructor who teaches your science course who will be willing to help you, and the general ambiance of the building is very conducive to learning. Gelb is a fantastic place to study that often goes underrated.

Morse Hall

Like Gelb, Morse is a good study environment because it is a

generally quiet area that has teachers willing to assist you with your math work. What separates Morse from Gelb is that it is split into two areas.

First, there is the common room with the two work tables, where people are free to ask questions and work together on the white boards. Unknown to most, there are frequently classrooms open with teachers in them, who are open to letting you work in the same room as them as long as you remain quiet!

The final three ideal destinations include the lobby of Samuel Phillips Hall, the Addison Gallery Museum Learning Center, and Graves Hall, which are much like the previous two because they all offer quiet rooms for uninterrupted work, and often there are instructors willing to assist you. These rooms are heated during the winter. However, before you try to study in these spots, check their hours! For example, the Addison is only open on Tuesday through Saturday from 10:00am to 5:00 pm and Sunday from 1:00pm to 5:00pm. Graves Hall requires BlueCard for entry after 5 pm and on weekends.

Every student has their own opinion on what makes for a good study spot. If for some reason you do not like to study in any of these buildings, the Elson Art Center, Lower Left of Paresky Commons, and Pearson Hall are all great options to try. If you have not yet found a place where you prefer to study, try some of these options, and also ask other students for their recommendations. Hopefully, soon, you will find a place where you can get your work done quickly and efficiently. Feel free to also look on dearsam.org for more ideas on good (and unexpected) places to study!

35

Top 5 Ways Students May Be Studying Wrong

By RAHMEL DIXON Studying is a lifelong skill that can take years to perfect. Every student has methods or tricks for how to get the most out of their studying. However, even students who have figured out what works best for them often make mistakes that waste their valuable time. Many students will not have a problem with the subject they are a studying, but with the studying process itself. Here are some ways in which students are studying wrong: Underestimating the time needed to study1

Students will think that studying for a class will only take a small amount of time, so they don’t utilize their time correctly. This makes their studying inefficient and ineffective. A solution to this is to properly plan out the amount of time and maybe even overestimate it. This way, the student does not guess an amount of time and realize that it is way too short to feel actually prepared. Without the correct amount of time, studying 36

would not be adequate or helpful.

Pulling all-nighters and/or cramming2

Students will often cram in lots of information in a short period of time, which usually means sacrificing sleep to study. Though it may seem tempting, this may be one of the worst methods of studying, because students do not retain a lot of the information that they look over.

Students also put create unnecessary stress by pressuring themselves to learn everything overnight. This stress hinders a student’s ability to think clearly and correctly. Furthermore, “all-nighters” often develop into procrastination, due to talking with roommates, using phones, watching Netflix, etc. Then, very late at night, the actual studying begins when the student is already exhausted. Without sleep, the student will not be able to benefit much from the extensive studying, and the time spent will essentially be wasted.

Not taking enough breaks3

There is fine line between

procrastinations and breaks, something that students often have a hard time understanding this difference.

Short breaks allow for the brain to reset and rejuvenate after receiving so much information. On the other hand, procrastination is essentially wasted time. The brain needs breaks so that it does not overwork itself.

Even though students may just want to study until they finish the whole subject, this may not be a good idea.

Adding some breaks throughout the duration of a study period has been proven to be very beneficial for students. Students can even try apps such as FocusBooster and Time Out, which can help them divide their study time into manageable chunks with healthy five-minute breaks.

Remember, a break should relax the mind, so the person should not switch from one strenuous activity to another. Doing this pushes the mind in another direction instead of giving it proper rest. If the break actually rests the mind and is not too long, it could boost the effectiveness of one’s studying greatly. Ideas for breaks may include a short walk outside, eating a healthy snack, doodling, or listening to a few good songs. On the contrary, procrastination might include longer, less effective activities such as watching TV, online shopping, etc.

Keeping phones/other electronics nearby

Possibly the most difficult part of studying for a student is separating him/herself from distractions from the outside world. It is nearly impossible to ignore texts, Snapchats, and Facebook messages,

but if students are able to remove these types of interruptions, their study sessions will prove to be much more efficient. For example, if a student has an iPhone, they can put it o “Do Not Disturb” Mode (the moon icon) so that they only receive notifications when someone calls them.

This eliminates all alerts from apps as well as emails and texts. The student can also download apps like Self-Control, Anti-Social, and Freedom which block certain sites for a length of time so that there is no chance of procrastination. Also, even something as simple as moving phones, tablets, and laptops far away from the student while he or

she is studying can help tremendously.

Not remembering to get enough sleep

Students will do anything they can to make sure that they know all the information before an exam, even if this means sacrificing their sleep. Sleep deprivation is a huge problem among students.

Not only will they feel overtired and unable to focus on the day of the exam, but they also will not be able to adequately apply what they have learned. This makes all of the studying incredibly pointless. Even if it means having to miss a night of homework for a subject so that the

student can get to bed at a reasonable hour, this is not the end of the world! Teachers are human too and they do understand the importance of sleep and will probably not have an issue about it if you explain to them and make up the work at a later time. Sleep always takes priority!

1. “You’re Studying Wrong.” USA TODAY College. N.p., 06 Jan. 2015. Web. 18 Oct. 2015. <http://college.usatoday.com/2015/01/06/ great-career-success-debate-youre-studyingwrong/>.

2. “8 Ways You’re Studying Wrong.” Alot Education. N.p., 25 June 2015. Web. 18 Oct. 2015. <http://education.alot.com/planning/8ways-youre-studying-wrong--8793>.

3. Ibid.

Class of 2015 Grade Distribution

Information from Phillips Academy School Profile 37

10 Ways to Live a Healthy Lifestyle

By HANNAH ZHANG

1. Add, don’t subtract. Fad diets may seem like the only way to be healthy, but eating fewer calories than needed is actually counterproductive; this type of diet not only results in fat loss, but also muscle loss, which is not good. This breaking down of muscles also slows down your metabolism and isn’t a practical solution for lasting success. Instead, begin by incorporating healthier foods into your diet. Eating lean proteins (a.k.a. meat without too much fat on it), fresh vegetables, fruit, and soy products along with other non-starchy and non-sugary foods are some of the most effective and long-lasting things to eat in order to help you lose weight, while maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

2. Exercise. In general, cardiovascular exercises burn the most fat, but it is also important to include a few hours of strength training (lifting, squats, core workouts) every week, which you can do in the gym’s fitness center. Running is an activity that can be done virtually anywhere at PA; there is a large, beautiful campus, an indoor and outdoor track, and treadmills in the fitness center, which all available for student use. With running, it’s extremely important to pace yourself, so don’t push to run for an hour straight on your first run of the year! Start slow and work yourself up to a speed and duration that you can handle.

3. Hydration is key! Consuming enough water on a daily basis is essential for maintaining a healthy 38

body, and can also help with weight loss. Taking a drink of water right before a meal can also help you to feel less inclined to eating more food than you should. There are water fountains strategically placed around campus, so remember to take a couple drinks whenever you see one, or use the hydration stations to fill a reusable water bottle!

4. Make sure to control your portions. No matter how healthy you’re eating, getting too much of even the healthiest foods may not be the best option. Try getting food on a smaller plate rather than getting the same amount on a larger plate. A smaller plate may seem like you already have more than usual, so you’re less likely to go for additional servings.

5. Exercise self-control. It may seem hard, but this means getting rid of or avoiding junk food, whether it’s old junk food hanging out on your shelf or your roommate’s bag of chips.

Remember to maintain your self-control when you’re around other people eating unhealthy food. This will ultimately help you lessen the tendency to snack and help you be healthier in the long run.

6. Keep a food journal. Writing down everything that you eat can actually serve as an extremely helpful method for being healthier. By keeping a record of every meal you have, you are more conscious of and accountable for the amount of food you’re eating, which allows you to monitor and effectively modify your diet to eat healthier. You can download apps for

healthier eating, and use CampusDish for nutrition information on meals.

7. Use the “Plate Method” to construct a healthy meal. Fill half of your plate with non-starchy vegetables such as broccoli, asparagus, cauliflower, or fruit. Fill a quarter of your plate with whole grains like brown rice, barley, or quinoa. And finally, fill the last quarter with lean proteins.

8. Cut down on carbs. Refined carbohydrates don’t act like complex carbohydrates, in that refined carbs turn into fat instead of glucose. Remember to limit your intake of high-fat and high-sugar foods and stick to the previously listed foods.

9. Eat a healthy breakfast every morning. In general, skipping meals does nothing to help you lose weight. In fact, eating breakfast speeds up your metabolism and reduces the chance of binge-eating later in the day.

And of course, you need to fuel your brain before classes if you want to do well. There are so many health benefits to eating breakfast, so make time for it every day!

10. Motivate yourself to keep going and give yourself positive encouragement. There will probably be moments when you want to quit and just stuff your face with a bag of Cheetos. All of these steps do not simply provide a way for you to lose weight, but also will help you adopt and transition into a healthier, happier lifestyle. Think for the long-term when you get those temptations. If you stick with these steps, you’ll be able to form awesome new habits to live by.

10 Ways to Support Someone Who Is Struggling with an Eating Disorder Age Distribution of Eating Disorders

14% 10%

43%

33%

After 20 16-20 11-15 10 or younger

Information courtesy of General Eating Disorder Statistics

By GRACE RADEMACHER

In the United States, roughly 30 million people of all ages and genders are affected by eating disorders each year. It is becoming a serious epidemic, as eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. Eating disorders are unfortunately very hard to recognize and diagnose because of the “glamorous” stigmas surrounding the disorders, which lead to fads such as thinspo, pro ana, or the thigh gap. If a friend or family member has opened up to you, here are some things you can do to help: 1. Encourage them to reach out for help.

Although you provide a strong support system, you, alone, are not emotionally/educationally equipped to lead them to recovery by yourself.

2. Do not stand alone in supporting them.

If they are reluctant to see someone or get help, then you should seek help and guidance for yourself.

Reaching out to even close friends is hard enough, so don’t force them into trying counseling if they are not comfortable, but that does not mean you cannot receive guidance from one of the trained specialists on campus. Find adults you trust, other close friends, or family members and create a support system to help the person you are concerned about and to encourage them to see a professional.

3. Understand that just gaining/ losing weight (depending on the disorder) will not solve the issue.

There are deeper problems that need to be addressed, and weight gain or loss does not necessarily translate to progress in battling the eating disorder. Keeping

personal tabs on their weight over time can further an unhealthy relationship with their body and food.

4. Recognize that the habits the eating disorder has forced them to develop (binging/purging, restriction) are not an on/off switch.

It can be extremely scary and difficult to break such habits for the person who is suffering from them.

This is really where a professional is needed. Avoid telling your friend or family member that they should “just try to stop”, because they are looking for someone to confide in, and by doing this, you may be cutting yourself out of their trust circle and leaving them alone again.

5. Avoid saying things that shame them or their body.

Phrases like “you look too thin”, “you look ill”, etc. are very difficult to hear as a person who already has a diminished self image.

6. Avoid expressing your own frustrations with them.

Taking your own frustrations with someone out on anyone is not a good thing to do, but doing that to a person who is already struggling to get better can often cause a relapse or worsened self esteem.

7. Give them compliments not based on physical appearance.

Saying things along the lines of “you always brighten my day”, “I love your laugh”, “you are so charismatic / funny / caring / insightful / genuine” can encourage them to look at themselves as more than a body and as a person with a real personality and emotions.

39

8. Do not give them ultimatums or random motivations to do something.

Giving ultimatums (For example, “you can’t do X until you do Y” or “ I won’t do X until you do Y”) will do much more harm than good.

9. Focus on how they feel instead of what progress they have made.

Check in with them and ask about their emotional well-being.

This will give them a feeling of support as well as provide you with a clearer idea of their emotional state.

10. Remind them how beautiful they are every day.

Remind them that they are

never a burden. Remind them that they are so much more than the illness that may sometimes dominate their life.

Eating disorders are complicated and nuanced mental illnesses, and supporting a friend or family member through recovery can be difficult. Since the prevalence of anorexia, bulimia, and BDD at Andover is higher than that of the national average, it is possible that you may find yourself in this type of a situation with a peer or close adult.

Hopefully, these tips will help you to work with your friend or family member on their road to recovery.

Also, never be afraid when asking for outside help!

“Get the Facts on Eating Disorders.”

National Eating Disorders Associa tion. N.p., 15 July 2015. Web. 21 Oct. 2015. <https://www.nationaleating disorders.org/get-facts-eating-disor ders>.

“Eating Disorders Statistics.” Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders.

N.p., n.d. Web. 21 Oct. 2015. <http:// www.anad.org/get-information/ about-eating-disorders/eating-dis orders-statistics/>.

Get the Facts An estimated 10-15% of people with anorexia or bulimia are male 47% of girls in 5th-12th grade reported wanting to lose weight because of magazine pictures 69% of girls in 5th-12th grade reported that magazine pictures influenced their idea of a perfect body shape 42% of 1st-3rd grade girls want to be thinner An estimated 10-15% of people with anorexia or bulimia are male 81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat Anorexia is the third most common chronic illness among adolescents

The mortality rate associated with anorexia nervosa is 12 times higher than the death rate associated with all causes of death for females 15-24 years old 40

The Benefits of Walking 30 Minutes Daily ALLEVIATES depression and fatigue

HALVES risk of alzheimerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

LIMITS chronic disease WORKS arm and shoulder muscles

LOWERS RISK of heart disease

STRENGTHENS legs, quads, hips , and hamstrings KEEPS WEIGHT in check

INCREASES attention and decision making

IMPROVES blood pressure by 5 points

REDUCES lower back pain

LIMITS colon cancer risk by 40% improves FITNESS

Write for Physical Health!

Email mdavis & mkuin 41

Calories Burned in 1 Hour of Activity

By GRACE LIMONCELLI

Hatha Yoga 183 Calories

Biking 292 Calories

Volleyball 292 Calories

Swimming 423 Calories

42

Weight Lifting 365 Calories

Tennis 584 Calories

Jumping Rope 861 Calories

Rowing 438 Calories

Baseball 365 Calories

Cross Country Skiing 365 Calories

Elliptical 365 Calories

Football 584 Calories

Hiking 438 Calories

Basketball 584 Calories

Ice Skating 511 Calories

The amount of calories burned doing any given activity largely depends on its intensity, a personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s weight, and athletic level. These activities are subject to vary based on these characteristics.

43

Tips for Improving Your Mental Health

By ZACHARY RUFFIN

It is imperative that people maintain a healthy sense of self, even with all the work and commitments that students may have at a place like Andover. Considering how stressful any day can be for an Andover student, whether that is due to homework, sports, extracurriculars, your social environment, or another factor, it is easy to delay taking care of your own state of mind and mental stability.

Here are some ways you can take care of yourself at Andover: Talk to a counselor Although this tip may seem self-explanatory, there can often be a negative stigma around going to see a counselor. However, the school’s counselors are well-equipped and devoted to talk about how students are faring with the tolls of Andover life, especially as they can see the effects of being a student at this institution firsthand. All it takes to meet with one of the counselors is the courage to voluntarily ask for help.

Talk with a trusted friend/family member/adult 44

While similar to the aforementioned point, not all students are comfortable with talking to people, whom they would consider strangers, about their lives and/or any subsequent issues that are affecting it. By talking to a trusted friend or adult, there is already a clear sense of comfort embedded between you, which should allow students to talk honestly about whatever is on your chest at the moment. Similar to talking with a counselor, having someone else to talk to and receive feedback from can allow students to gather a new perspective on the situation at hand or possibly even a new solution to whatever is troubling them, which is more than what they could obtain from trying to face their problems alone.

and time to be alone, students can begin to reflect on whatever is troubling them. Self-reflection will also foster relaxation and taking everything at a comfortable pace. This space can range from a dorm room to a simple walk alone with headphones, as long as students are able to think in a free environment and are capable of reflecting at their rhythm. In doing this, students create an outlet for themselves to be at ease and do whatever comes to mind, which can be one of the necessities for improving mental health, which is a sense of control.

Taking care of your physical needs More often than not, there is a direct relationship between how a student is feeling and what his/her/their body Finding a space/time to be needs. As a result, make sure to eat completely secluded and revel in it balanced meals regularly and sleep Not everyone may necessarily feel for a sufficient amount of time each the need to talk to others about their night. Even though a student’s Andoproblems, whether that is because ver schedule can frequently conflict they feel they have a good handle on with these two goals, ensuring that the the situation or they have not found body’s needs are met consistently can the right person to talk to. Whatever significantly impact a person’s overall the case may be, by finding the space state of well-being.

How to Alleviate Stress

By ALICE TANG Many students at Andover face stress at some time or another. Each student has their own way of dealing with stress.

Whether it comes from classes, sports, extracurriculars, etc., there are many ways to manage your stress in a healthy way.

For Yourself

For Your Friends

Exercise!

Offer your ears

Go for a 20 minute jog in the Sanctuary, play a game of basketball with a friend, or simply dance around your dorm room for a few minutes. Exercising releases dopamine and endorphins that release stress and induce happiness. Furthermore, if stress is keeping you up at night and you find it difficult to fall asleep, exercise can also help cure insomnia.

Having a friend that they feel comfortable talking to can be extremely therapeutic and cathartic. Sometimes, a good rant is all it takes to release some pent up frustration or stress, or you might find ways to deal with the stress they are feeling.

Take a break from screens

Spend time with them

For the most part, we all love spending time with our friends The blue light emitted from cellphones, laptops, and tablets and find it to a relaxing activity. Do your best to take their puts stress on eyes and by disconnecting for a few hours, we mind off of school/ athletics/ whatever else is causing their can at least block some of the channels from which stress stress and simply enjoy each otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s company. can reach us. A good tip is to write down all of your homework assignments that can be done offline, and then shut Make them laugh off your computer for a few hours while you complete them.

Alternately, download an app on your phone or computer Remember how laughter reduces stress? As a friend, you that can reduce the amount of blue light and thus reduce can help with that by telling jokes, recalling funny memothe stress on your eyes, brain, and body. ries, etc.

Sleep!

When loads of homework begin to pile up, it can be tempting to sacrifice sleep for more hours of work, but the reality is as the night wears on, your productivity and brain activity will decrease, and you might find all the hours you spent at the crack of dawn to be fruitless. A lot of the information you learn will not be retained. Therefore, it is more productive and efficient to spend at least a few hours sleeping to refresh and recharge your body.

Laugh!

The previous few tips might be hard to integrate into your life at first, but this is one everyone can do in a matter of seconds. Laughter has been scientifically proven to reduce the effects of stress.

Encourage them to take care of themselves You may have friends that talk about only getting a few hours of sleep of always missing breakfast. Encourage them to adopt healthier habits and/or do it with them. Make plans to eat breakfast together every morning or go the gym every Saturday. Friends can be their greatest motivators.

Finally, keep in mind how your friends might react They might react and/or deal with stress in a very different way than you do. Try to offer a helping hand or a shoulder to lean on, but do not be offended if they reject your offer. They might find that solitude helps them deal with stress more.

45

The Root of Andover’s Drug and Alcohol Problem

By CINDY ESPINOSA

It is no surprise that teens in high school use drugs, smoke, or drink.

Especially in today’s digital world, an increasing number of teens are seeing the use of these substances in pictures and videos of parties on social media.

The student perspective on drugs and alcohol on campus paints a different picture than that of administration and staff, who see a blank canvas. In a rigorous academic institution, mental health should be at the forefront of how the school addresses incidents with academic integrity, drug and alcohol abuse, and disciplinary actions.

In a new study by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, a majority of private schools students reported drugs on campus, with this number reaching 54% in 2012. Another finding revealed that marijuana was the most accessible drug for high school students. The study reported that 44% of students are not only using drugs and alcohol, but also illegally distributing them.

Although the school offers resources for students who seek counseling, the culture on campus silences alcohol and drug users. Some students feel that conversations related to drugs and alcohol on campus have hit a roadblock, even though it is such an important topic. Research shows that substance-abusing youth are at higher risk than nonusers for mental health problems, including depression, con

duct problems, personality disorders, suicidal thoughts, attempted suicide, and suicide. According to The Phillipian’s State of the Academy survey, 77% of Andover students have consumed alcohol at Andover and 43% have smoked marijuana on and off campus.

Viewing mental health and alcohol and drug use as part of a larger picture is the crucial next step in beginning to address these issues.

Right now, Andover’s policy includes alcohol/drug testing and the Sanctuary Policy. Faculty who “determine that a student’s behavior, presentation, or circumstance is indicative of recent alcohol consumption or drug use or both and the student denies such usage” would lead to testing.

Only students can invoke the Sanctuary Policy. Both of these policies warrant quick responses. Sanctuary is for students that “become ill or impaired to the point of needing medical attention, or other support” It is imperative for our school to acknowledge that although there are support tools readily available, our community needs to face this issue proactively. In a high demanding environment, it is easy to fall into the wrong crowd, or succumb to peer pressure, but we do not have our caregivers monitoring our every move. It can be difficult for boarding schools to gauge the drug and alcohol problem, but that is not a reason to make drugs and alcohol a taboo subject.

Too many times as a freshman

girl, I walked back to my dorm with a few streetlights illuminating my path to see a looming figure stumble out from the Bird Sanctuary. Normally, I could shake off the uneasy feeling I had bounding up the steps, but nobody talked openly about the culture of drugs and alcohol here. Whether or not you partake in drinking or smoking, it affects all of us. The presence of drugs and alcohol on campus, however big or small, needs to be addressed in a proactive manner to ensure more of a healthy mental state. Simply punishing a student or a dorm will not kill the problem, because that’s not where the root of it is. Andover lacks sufficient education about drugs and alcohol. We have students here ranging from ages 13-20 all with different backgrounds of information on drugs and alcohol. We spend nine out of twelve months of the year at Andover. In this critical stage of adolescence, we need more education about alcohol and drug use to make better decisions and support one another.

“BOARDING SCHOOLS’ HARD BALANCING ON DRUG TESTS.” The New York Times. The New York Times, 07 June 1986. Web. 05 Dec. 2015.

“Consequences of Youth Substance Abuse.”

Consequences of Youth Substance Abuse.

N.p., 1998. Web. 05 Dec. 2015.

Kuczynski-Brown, Alex. “School Drug Use: Survey Finds 17 Percent Of High School Students Drink, Smoke, Use Drugs During The School Day.” The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 23 Aug. 2012. Web. 05 Dec. 2015.

Write for Mental Health!

Email kbishop & wzhang 46

Mental Health Facts

20%

11%

10%

8%

Youth ages 13-18 that have a mental health condition

Youth that have a mood disorder

Youth that have a behavior or conduct disorder

Youth that have an anxiety disorder

Warning Signs

50% of all lifetime cases of mental illness begin by age 14 and 75% by age 25.

90% of those who died by suicide had an underlying mental illness.

50% of students 14 and older with a mental illness drop out of high school.

70% of youth in state and local juvenile justice systems have a mental illness.

Information courtesy of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill 47

Importance of Talking About Healthy Relationships

By KATHERINE SWEETSER

Talking about healthy relationships is important when it comes to building a safe and understanding community. Coming into Andover, every student has his or her own unique background in sexual education.

Some may have had required health classes at a previous school, and some may not have been provided with the chance to address these topics in a classroom setting before. Despite the amount of previous sexual education a student has received, sexual education and the healthy relationship discussion on campus are important to student wellness.

Rather than encouraging students to engage in sexual activity, talking about healthy relationships encourages students to understand how to be safe and seek good interactions if this is something they chose to do.

Some people may find talking about sex to be awkward or taboo, and while this may seem normal, these are walls 48

that need to be taken down in order to promote a healthy, safe, and open community. These conversations will not be supportive or constructive if individuals are unwilling to address important factors of student culture.

Along with being safe, another important topic of sexual education is consent. These talks should enforce not only the definition of consent, but how to ask for it, how to give it, and its importance. Talking about consent is not only necessary, but also empowering because it teaches students to take initiative over their bodies and their decisions.

Lastly, the healthy relationship discussion builds a stronger Andover community as a whole. Honest student-faculty and student-staff talks should seek to increase trust and understanding between different members of the community. Having safe environments to talk about sex and relationships allows students to feel

comfortable and supported. It is important for students to know adults on campus that they can go to; adults whom they feel comfortable with and who care about the student well beyond the classroom.

These are only some of the ways in which these discussions can have a positive impact. The talk about healthy relationships should have a continuous presence on campus, whether it takes place in advising groups, dorms, all school meeting, or the classroom. We began the conversation this fall, but that does not mean that it is finished, nor does it mean that our approach to these conversations cannot be improved. As a community we should continue to find proper times and places to engage in these important conversations, and we should consider different ways of addressing these conversations in a comfortable, supportive, and judgement-free atmosphere.

Forms of Contraception/Protection

By RAWIT ASSAMONGKOL

So you want to know about birth control? Fun stuff. Let’s start by defining what birth control is: “The practice of preventing unwanted pregnancies.” Pregnancy occurs when a sperm cell meets with an egg cell during ovulation. There is a chance of this happening during vaginal intercourse, or sex. It is important to make the distinction that birth control does not necessarily protect you from getting an STI. Some forms of birth control serve both purposes, but others do not.

To reduce the likelihood of pregnancy and contraction of an STI, a form of contraception that protects against both should be used. While there are certainly more contraceptives than those on this list, the following is a list of some common contraceptive methods that are available to students and more easily accessible to students.

Condoms

Emergency Contraception

The most popular form of contraception is the male condom. A condom can be put onto the erect penis before intercourse and should be taken off away from the vaginal canal. The condom is a barrier method of contraception, meaning it catches and prevents sperm from entering the vagina. Condoms should not be double-­layered, as the increased friction can increase the chance of tearing.

With proper usage, condoms work approximately 98% of the time. Spermicide can be added to condoms to increase the effectiveness. The biggest benefit to using condoms is that they serve a dual purpose of preventing both the transmission of STIs as well as preventing pregnancy.

For those allergic to latex, there are polyurethane condoms. Some users report that condoms can dull sensation slightly, but the protection offered is worth the sacrifice.

Emergency contraception can be taken up to 72 hours after unprotected intercourse to prevent the fertilized egg from developing any further, and to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. Emergency contraception is most commonly sold as Plan B and Next Choice pills. These can be 89% effective when taken within three days of sex, but it is most effective when taken right after unprotected sex. Besides possible nausea, there are not many significant side effects. Emergency contraception should not be used regularly in place of the pill or condom, because it is unnatural to the body.

Birth Control Pills Birth control pills, or oral contraception, is available with a prescription. Some pills prevent ovulation and menstruation, while others thicken cervical mucus. Depending on the pill and the individual, side effects may vary, but may include breast tenderness, nausea, and occasionally bleeding between periods. There may be more serious side effects increase if an individual has high cholesterol, blood pressure, or is a smoker. Combination pills, the most common type, are sold in 28­-day and 21­-day packs. The extra seven in the former serve as reminders to keep taking the pill. If used correctly, the pill is over 99% effective; improper use results in approximately 91% efficiency. The pill is the most reliable methods of birth control and, in some cases, preventing menstruation. Unfortunately, some women may experience nausea upon beginning the pill, but this feeling usually diminishes over time, and some may not experience nausea at all.

Withdrawal Withdrawal, or “pulling out,” is an unsuccessful method of “contraception.” Pre­ejaculate, the natural lubricant that is secreted from the penis before the point of climax, contains sperm and can travel through the uterus and fertilize the ovum. Although pulling out before ejaculation reduces the likelihood of pregnancy, it is not effective enough to be relied upon, which is shown through its abysmal 73% success rate. The main benefits of withdrawal are that it is free, and that there are no side effects. Although it may seem like a simple birth control method, “pulling out” is not worth the risk, and a different form of contraception should be used.

Abstinence Abstaining from sex has a 100% rate of preventing pregnancy and STIs. This definition can be stretched to just abstaining from vaginal intercourse, as pregnancy is impossible via oral, anal, or digital sex, when contact between sperm and the vagina is not involved. However, STIs are still just as transmissible, so it is equally important to use protection during these forms of sex.

49

Exploring the Importance of Permission

By JUSTICE ROBINSON

You see a very attractive person at a dance. They catch your eye as soon as you walk through the door, and you feel that the constant eye-banging you both have been doing the whole night has thoroughly sealed the deal on the play you hope to receive. Eventually you walk up to them and work some of your flirtatious charm, successfully getting them to leave with you. You share funny jokes and hypnotizing gazes as you walk up the stairs to your dorm. You ask them if they want to come inside and they reply, rather enthusiastically, “Absolutely!”

What does consent look like in situations like this and others? What is the point of consent and why is it so important in the first place? How does having constant consent create an overall better environment?

To start off, consent, as defined by Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, is “to agree to do or allow something: to give permission for something to happen or be done.” According to ConsentEd, “What consent really means is a voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity. In other words, it means communicating yes on your own terms.”

The key part in this definition is the voluntary part. Consent is a lot of things, but it is invalid and frankly contradictory if it is coerced.

Consent can get very dicey and can seem quite tedious, however, that does not detract from its importance.

There are multiple aspects as to why consent is entirely necessary and how it keeps everyone safe and ultimately happy. From a legal perspective, most places in the world have consent laws regarding the age at when a person can legally consent to sexual activity. The variables of consent pertain to age, ranging from 12 to 21, and what type of sexual activity, which ranges from kissing to vaginal penetration.

Every part of the world is different, so it is very important to know the laws of the area one visits or abides in with frequency. From a characteristical standpoint, consent has a lot to do with simple respect for another person’s body and wishes. Asking someone for permission to do anything at all with them and their body is simple respect and should be expected. Asking for consent doesn’t make someone a good person, it just reinstates the fact they are a respectful human being.

I can’t begin to explain the amount of times I’ve heard someone say something along the lines of, “Yeah but how awkward would it be to ask ‘is this okay’ while we’re hooking up?” or “What if it’s not okay? Then I ruined it by 50

asking.” These responses, while they may be somewhat valid worries, hold very little importance compared to the feelings of whoever is giving consent and the comfort level of this person. The “awkward” feeling of asking for constant consent in no way outweighs the importance of the actual giving of consent. There are no caveats or compromises- it is plain black and white. In terms of advice for how to ask for consent while not ruining the mood is situational. If one is in an intimate situation with someone who is also aware of what consent is and its importance, then they will more than likely appreciate (as well as expect) for the request of permission, and if they indeed want to partake in any sexual activity then they well give an enthusiastic consenting yes. If one is in a situation with someone who is not aware of consent and its importance, and they also indeed want to partake in sexual activity, use that as a learning opportunity. In whatever manner one chooses, use the moment to explain what consent is so that the partner(s) involved CAN give an enthusiastic consenting yes.

In such an ultimately small community like Andover, the importance of consent almost amplifies for reasons more than one. For starters, we, members of the community, are in charge of the ambiance of our environment. If we choose to live in an environment where no one feels safe to trust others on an intimate level due to lack of consent, that is the environment that we choose to live in because we all have a say in the overall atmosphere present on this campus. Andover is already a very stressful place with the academic and extracurricular pressures, which is why having intimate relationships is so important. They can help relieve lots of the stress at Andover, so there is no reason for these relationships to be associated as a negative thing in this community. Another reason why consent is extremely important at Andover is greatly due to the safety of the people here. Lack of consent can lead to a lot of places, some more violent than others. In violent situations, for the survivor and anyone else involved, such a situation leaves long lasting physical, emotional, and mental effects that can interfere with everyday life at Andover and beyond. In order to avoid unfortunate events, (which in such a small community is more than possible), by having everyone on campus understand consent, its importance, when and how to use it, and most importantly, ACTUALLY implementing it, we can all live in a safe, supportive, and healthy environment.

Sexual Health Facts

Use a condom to

CUT THE RISK of STD Contraction by

92%

50% of sexually active people will contract an STD in their lifetime

Information from Guard Your Health

Where do teens get their information of sexual and reproductive health?

3%

3% 1% 1% 3%

4% None Teacher

36% 21%

Other Health care provider Social media Website or internet

28%

Pharmacist Family and friends Books

Information from Kaiser Family Foundation

Write for Sexual Health!

Email ksweetser 51

Explore the New Rebecca M. Sykes Wellness Center

Counseling Suite Garden level, right-side Check in upstairs at the entrance level and walk downstairs to the counseling suite waiting room. The counseling suite will fill the role that Graham House formerly had on campus.

52

Extended Care Suite Entrance level, right-side The “Hong Kong Alumni Suite” will serve as the new inpatient care area, which accommodates sick students who have to stay in the Wellness Center overnight.

Outpatient Care Suite Entrance level, left-side The “Korea Community Suite” will serve as the new outpatient care area, which includes the orthopedic room, the x-ray room, the nutritionist’s office, etc.

53

Administrative Suite Garden level, left-side The administrative suite will hold the administrative offices of the Medical Director, the Administrative Director, and the Clinical Director.

Student Club Space Garden level This space will be used as a meeting area for health related clubs and organizations and/or also a study area for students. This room contains lots of counter space as well as computers.

54

Sykes Wellness Center Classrooms Garden level, right-side These classrooms can be booked via Outlook or through McKenna Montenegro at mmontenegro@andover.edu. These are resource rooms that can be used for diverse purposes, from PE/EB classes, yoga/weekend wellness activities, auditorium/speaking engagements, larger club activities, etc.

Sykes Wellness Center Conference Room Garden level This meeting space can be booked via Outlook or through McKenna Montenegro at mmontenegro@andover.edu. This room can hold up to ten people at once.

55

Collaborative Learning Space Garden level, Yogibo area This area is meant for student collaboration and relaxation. It has a smart monitor and comfortable bean bag furniture for relaxation, studying, and quietly hanging out.

Sleep Room Garden level This room is currently being re-designed and will be up in running in January 2016. This space will include sleep spaces, rejuvenation and stress activities such as blue/white light therapy, an area for meditation, etc.

Coming Soon 56

Lobby Entrance level This room is located at the main entrance. The front desk, self checkin kiosk, and medical waiting room are all located in the lobby.

Garden Exterior

57

Sponsored by the Abbot Academy Association

Phillips Academy

ANDOVER