Bridal guide 2016

Bridal Guide What’s new in flowers? Page 2.

Save money first, honeymoon second.

Page 3.

Pop-up weddings gain popularity.

Page 5.

Have questions ready for photographer.

Page 6.

Select wedding date carefully. Page 8.

The Herald ■ YO U R C O M M U N I T Y N E W S PA P E R S I N C E 1 8 9 5 DUBOISCOUNTYHERALD.COM

DUBOIS COUNTY, INDIANA

FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2016 SECTION B

PAGE 2 ■ BRIDAL GUIDE

THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2016

Smell the roses: What’s new in flowers?

By SHARON NAYLOR Creators.com Look at a wedding photo taken back in the 1980s; you’ll probably notice that the flowers (and the hair!) look out-of-date. They’re huge and bulky and heavy, a more-is-more design that seems so wrong these days. Luckily, today’s wedding flowers are light and airy, even when lush and full with blooms and greenery. And floral designers say the floral trends of 2015 are full of timeless appeal that will still look fresh many years from now.

For that delicate floral look, wedding couples are getting more for their money, and spending less. According to Shane McMurray, owner of the wedding survey website The Wedding Report, wedding couples spent an average of $148 on the bride’s bouquet in 2014 and $140 in 2015. It’s not much of a drop, but the expense will continue to go down in 2016 at $137.

So are brides’ bouquets getting smaller, to account for less money spent? Not entirely. The drop in spending comes from the choices of flowers. For that, we can thank the trend of English garden flowers.

Following the trend for vintage weddings, the top flowers used in these elegant and romantic pieces are garden roses, sweet peas and hydrangea, all inexpensive blooms. Pricy orchids don’t fit with the look, so they’re not pushing up the budget. A few gardenias and calla lilies do make their way into those hand-tied, just-pickedfrom-the-garden style bouquets, as a burst of bridal white adding style to the bouquet mostly made up of tiny blooms. Other top flowers are peonies, ranunculus, hydrangea, sweet peas and tulips, with peonies being a leading

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Peonies are one of the top choices for wedding flowers this season. choice for all-one-flower bouquets.

We’re also seeing a trend in cascade bouquets. Georgianne Vinicombe of Monday Flowers and Design says that the cascade is subtle, compared to those larger, draping cascading bouquets of the 1980s, and are again inspired

by the English garden look, a style seen on “Downton Abbey.” Cascade bouquets are designed to look like a waterfall of flowers hanging down in front of the bride. When the bride wears a simpler dress, they create all the drama.

White bouquets are still in,

but they’re spending equal time on popularity lists with pastelshaded flowers in pinks and light greens, again the garden look.

And then there are the bouquets and centerpiece flowers in bright colors. For spring and summer, think ocean blues and tur-

quoise, coral, bright yellow, bright orange. For fall and winter, think cranberry, as well as jewel tones like sapphire and deep purples.

Flower colors will be influenced by the Pantone color of the year, Marsala, a berry-hued reddish color that’s expected to be very popular in 2015.

As far as bouquet design, we’ll see less exposed stems at the bottom of the bouquet and more lacewrapped stems, with jeweled accent in subtle style.

Centerpieces are larger than in years past, with more voluminous floral collections and greenery.

Bringing the outside inside is a huge trend, with the look of a sea of flowers greeting guests as they walk into the reception ballroom.

The days of low-set bunches in small bowls are over, as more wedding couples want eye-catching centerpieces.

And floral garlands will be very popular in 2015, either as bloom-filled draping lengths, or in pure greenery. Consider covering staircase railings with garlands bursting with many flowers. Alternatively, a floral wall, a vertical display of all flowers or greenery that may be set behind the wedding cake or the sweetheart table, embraces this trend, as well.

There is also a big shift in using symbolic flowers, such as the wedding couple’s birth month flowers, or the same types of flowers the couple’s parents or grandparents used in their own wedding designs if the couple may wishes to bring some of their relatives’ good marriage luck into their own celebrations.

Talk with your wedding florist about the design you desire, and bring in plenty of photos that you find on Pinterest, bridal magazines or other sources to give your floral designer a better idea of your personal style.

History lesson: Weddings have humble beginning

By REINA V. KUTNER Creators.com Since long before the Book of Genesis in the Bible — which states, “A man shall leave his father and his mother and cling to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” — marriage has been a tradition among many peoples of the world. However, the concept of marriage in ancient times is far removed from the romantic implications of modern weddings.

In fact, many marriages in history were used for political or trib-

al unions. In upper-class families, they often were arranged when the couples were very young.

Families would draw up contracts before these marriages, securing property rights. The bride’s family sometimes would offer a dowry to the groom’s family to secure the marriage. Even in the modern world, there are still several cultures, such as the Indian culture, that have arranged marriages.

Meanwhile, young single girls would arrange trousseaus in anticipation of their weddings,

which would include linens, jewelry, lingerie, clothes and other items for her new home in a linen chest. They would be sewn by family members or even the bride herself.

Marriage often would give women new responsibilities. In more traditional Jewish homes, married women would work and provide for their families while their husbands would study ancient texts. In ancient Egypt, women were supposed to gain equal rights to men with mar-

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riage, although it wasn’t always the case.

Eventually, marriage and weddings became more than just an arrangement. In the Western world, St. Paul compared the relationship between a husband and wife to that of Christ and the church, and it became a sacrament. Popes

later insisted that marriage had to be consensual between both partners. In 1563, the Council of Trent declared that marriage would be valid only if in the presence of a priest and two witnesses — someSee HISTORY on Page 3

THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2016

History (Concluded from Page 2) thing that has lasted to today’s marriage licenses.

The idea of love with marriage came later, with the idea of romantic love really seeing a push in the Victorian era. About that time, men started practicing courting the women they wanted to marry. This was often a very complex process, as young single women were not allowed outside their homes without chaperones.

Wedding history also was changed when Queen Victoria wed in 1840. When she married Prince Albert, she wore a white wedding dress and had 12 bridesmaids and a 300-pound wedding cake. This wedding hinted at the future of weddings as not only a ceremony but also a grand spectacle.

Today weddings have become as varied as the cultures of the world. Many brides will incorporate international traditions in addition to the white wedding gown and reception. Although white is the standard for gowns, many brides are venturing into different colors. Although the economy has reduced the grandeur of many receptions, weddings are a huge industry around the world, particularly with destination weddings becoming a huge trend.

But if you think history is limited to the past, think again. Today many ancient wedding traditions are reflected in your ceremony: ■■ In most weddings, the bride stands at the groom’s left. In ancient times, this was done just in case someone tried to snatch the woman way. That way, the groom’s right hand would be free to grab his sword.

■■ The concept of carrying the bouquet comes from when the ancient Roman brides would carry bouquets of herbs to symbolize fidelity and fertility. It also was used to scare off evil spirits.

■■ Bridesmaids are dressed similarly to one another today, but it used to be that they also would dress identically to the bride so as to confuse any evil spirits at the wedding.

■■ The ring on the fourth finger of the left hand? That comes from the Greek belief that a vein directly to the heart resides there.

■■ Rings also were used in ancient times to signify a marriage, as they were round and symbolized eternity.

■■ The kiss at the end of a wedding comes from the ancient tradition of sealing a contract with a kiss.

■■ The wedding cake comes from a Roman tradition. In Rome, wheat cakes were a signifier of fertility.

BRIDAL GUIDE ■ PAGE 3

Over the moon and under budget

By KRISTEN CASTILLO Creators.com After the whirlwind of wedding planning and the big day itself, as newlyweds, you look forward to relaxing on your honeymoon.

According to a survey by XO Group Inc., the parent company of wedding resource The Knot, three in four couples take a honeymoon.

The itinerary? Maybe a beach getaway, sightseeing in a foreign city or hiking through a rain forest. Whatever the ideal honeymoon, chances are it’s expensive, especially if you just paid for a wedding.

That’s what happened to bride Christina Yumul and her groom, Mark Weiss. After their May 2011 destination wedding in San Diego, the couple, who live in Maui, couldn’t afford the honeymoon they really wanted.

While they did a two-day staycation in Hawaii’s Big Island after their wedding, the couple wanted a European honeymoon.

Instead of forgetting about their dream getaway, the couple saved up and took the trip in October 2013.

“My husband and I wanted to go somewhere completely different, so we decided to save up and spend a month in Europe,” she says. “One week in Paris, two weeks in Italy, one week in Prague and one week in Switzerland.”

Saving up for two years was worth it, she says, because they didn’t want to be budget-minded once they arrived at their destination.

“You only go on a honeymoon once, so why not wait to do it right with no restraint?” Yumul says.

Planning timeline

smart about your credit card use, especially if it means earning travel rewards. Imagine paying for your wedding cake and your gown, for example, with a credit card that gives you bonuses.

“As your wedding expenses come up, charge everything to this card, and you’ll quickly accumulate a ton of points,” Choi says.

“You could end up with enough points to book a free flight or at the very least get a few nights free at a hotel.”

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Don’t think you need to go on your honeymoon right away. Many couples wait and save money to take a nice trip.

The extra time between the wedding and the honeymoon allows you to budget for expenses without lots of stress or financial pressure.

Yumul and Weiss, for example, each saved $50 a week and then deposited that collective $100 into a bank account designated as “trip savings.” The couple also stashed away spare change into their vacation fund.

“Because we had two years to plan, the expenses didn’t come at once,” says Yumul, who explains they booked their plane tickets a year before the honeymoon and then, a few months later, paid in advance for their hotels.

“By the time we arrived in Europe, the only expenses we had left were our food and the attractions,” she says. “Plus, since we had saved up for it, by the time the

credit card bills came at the end of the honeymoon, we were able to pay it off immediately. It wasn’t a debt that lurked and followed us.”

Savings strategies Delaying your honeymoon can seem unnerving at first, but it’s a cost-conscious way to have a nice trip without going broke.

“Honeymoons should only be paid in cash,” says Barry Choi, budget travel expert from Moneywehave.com. “It’s OK to charge your honeymoon to credit if you’re paying off the full balance every month, but the last thing you want to do is to be paying interest charges long after you’ve returned home.”

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THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2016

Popular photo booth gets modern makeover

By SHARON NAYLOR Creators.com Wedding guests love the photo booth, with all of its fun props such as hats, fake mustaches, Mardi Gras beads and silly sunglasses. This interactive element adds a sense of play to your wedding reception, and the photos that result from it show just how festive your wedding day was, as well as the personalities of all of your loved ones enjoying each other’s company.

Photo booths will continue to be a big trend in weddings this year, and they’re getting some unique new features to offer guests all the fun they’ve come to know from photo booths, but with a little something different.

Here are some new features of photo booths: ■■ Video booth. Rather than getting still photos taken of them, guests can record a video message, sing a song and just interact for a video that’s taken of them. In the new high-tech video booth, video is high-definition for the best quality imaging. Having a video booth for your wedding adds a new dimension of fun, aside from guests striking silly poses. Your guests can also record video messages, captured right in the moment of their celebration, which lets you see and hear just how much of a great time they’re having. And since you will likely step into the booth, you can also capture your own real-time excitement. Neal Zipser of ShutterBooth says that some booths have both photo and video options, so that guests can choose what they’d like to do.

■■ Artistic backdrops. Oldstyle photo booths often had a solid-colored curtain as the backdrop, but now, you can get backdrops showing scenery or a pattern like a brocade wallpaper looking like a Victorian-era sitting room. You can also arrange for a 3-D effect, such as a trellis with greenery and flowers, designed by your floral expert.

■■ Open-air photo booths. In this evolution of the traditional box photo booth that some couples find to be too “boardwalk attraction” for their wedding style, now you can get an open-air photo area that may be set up like a celebrity-style red carpet against a personalized branded backdrop.

Guests feel like VIP’s when their

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Providing unique props is a top way to make your photo booth more modern. photos are taken at this type of photo area, and more people can fit into the shot than in a crowded, smaller traditional booth.

■■ Live viewing. Photo booth photos are displayed on a screen, visible to guests standing outside the photo booth, for instant enjoyment. (A live-viewing option often prevents any drunk or disorderly guests from taking off-color photos, as well.)

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to thrill your guests, look to evolving past the usual photo booth

and search “photo booth prop” to find unique wearables such as hats, floral pins, vests, apronstyle tie-ons with images on them and more. Chalkboards are still a popular item for the photo booth, with chalkboard pens with a wide tip so that the guests’ wording and drawings can be seen in photos and video. It’s a common mistake to offer regular chalk, which may not show up as well as a broader stroke.

■■ A personalized DVD. While not new, as this has been a feature of some photo booths in the past few years, more wedding couples are opting to purchase this option.

■■ 4-by-6-inch photos. Not the glorified bookmark, as the experts at Beyond The Booth call the traditional strip of tiny images. When those strip images are so small, you can’t see much detail. A larger photo lets all of the prop work and the guests’ messages or sign wording stand out, clear to see.

With new and better access to your photo booth photos, you might choose one of your fun couple photos as an image for your “thank you” notes, as well as for posting on your personal wedding website after your big day.

With so many ways to share and enjoy your photos now, you’ll get even more value out of your photo booth investment.

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BRIDAL GUIDE ■ PAGE 5

Couples saying ‘I do’ to pop-up weddings

By KRISTEN CASTILLO Creators.com The mood is light and fun, and guests are arriving whenever it’s convenient. They may think they’re attending a barbecue or maybe even your engagement party, but what they don’t know is the celebration is actually a wedding.

Pop-up weddings, also known as flash weddings, have been trendy lately with couples who want the party without all the typical fuss. Still, the seemingly impromptu weddings require quite a bit of planning and a lot of secrecy. After all, no one except the bride and groom (and a few select others) know the event is a wedding. In some cases, the bride or groom may even be surprised, too, since sometimes one would-be spouse surprises the other with an unexpected ceremony.

“It tends to be easier for couples to plan a surprise wedding on their guests than one half of the couple surprising the other half,” says wedding planner Kia Martinson of ESTOccasions and Engaged Connecticut. “There is a lot that goes into planning a wedding, and having to keep that secret can be difficult.”

Easy events?

The concept of a pop-up wedding may seem fuss-free, but wedding experts disagree.

“In my opinion, a flash/popup wedding takes quite a bit of planning, so it’s an ironically complicated spur-of-the-moment wedding concept to pull off!” says Dorian Smith-Garcia, editor-inchief of The Anti Bridezilla, a luxury bridal site, who explains that at the least you’ll need an officiant and a witness, while a flash-mob wedding may require additional pre-planning and rehearsals.

Still, it’s an option for brides and grooms who don’t want to plan and host a more formal wedding.

Traditional wedding planning “can be exhausting for a couple,” says Dezhda “Dee” Gaubert, owner of No Worries Event Planning, noting the pressure of handling big-day details such as invitations and tracking down RSVPs. “By treating the event as something more casual, the guests are more laid back about the event, barely even connect with the couple in the months or days leading up to it, and thus, the couple can relax and instead get excited about the surprise, instead of stressed about the lead-up to the actual wedding,” she says.

Smith-Garcia agrees, explaining pop-up weddings are for couples looking for “a truly unconventional wedding.”

The guest list While weddings are all about the bride and groom, their respective families want to be a part of the celebration, too. Some guests, including family members, are OK with flash weddings, while others are not so enthused.

“Much like a destination wedding to a far-flung spot that requires expensive travel plans, not everyone is up for the concept of a pop-up wedding that requires secretive planning and in some cases subdued attire so you blend into the crowd in a very public space,” says Smith-Garcia.

Be careful not to hurt family members’ feelings if possible, and share your plans in advance with a family insider for both the bride and groom.

“My one big piece of advice is to let someone on both sides of the family know to make sure they are able to help get the right people to

the wedding,” says Martinson.

“You would hate someone important to miss it cause they aren’t sure what is going on.”

Planning a pop-up party Don’t be fooled into believing flash weddings really happen spontaneously. Hosting a pop-up wedding does take work, especially if the ceremony is going to be at an offbeat location.

For example, Gaubert plans weddings in Paris where, “the legend is you can literally organize your friends and get married on the street.”

Sometimes these on-the-fly weddings work, but not always.

“In various metropolitan areas, you really need to check first with the city to ensure there aren’t any permits necessary — or to secure the necessary permit,” she says.

If guests are invited, it’s essential everyone arrives in time for the ceremony.

“I recommend that couples say there is a ‘big announcement’ at a certain time,” says Gauber. “It’ll leave guests guessing and ensures they arrive on time.”

A pop-up wedding requires secretive planning and in some cases subdued attire so you blend into the crowd in a very public space.

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PAGE 6 ■ BRIDAL GUIDE

THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2016

Say cheese: Questions for photographers

By SHARON NAYLOR Creators.com You’ve found the perfect wedding photographer. You love his style, and the images you’ve seen on his website fit perfectly with your vision -- all the beauty of your venue, artistic shots of the two of you that look like something out of a magazine, close-up photos of the food, shots of all of the action and interactions with your loved ones.

Don’t expect everything to go perfectly on your wedding day, however. There are some important questions to ask your photographer to ensure you get the kinds of shots you want: ■■ What are some of your favorite settings of my wedding venue?

You may have hired your photographer in part because he has worked at your wedding venue before, but now it’s time to talk details: the gardens, the fountains, side rooms with great architectural aspects. This is where you start mapping out the perfect setting for your all-important first look photos, and you can use your photographer’s experience at the site (including knowing about the lighting during sunset and more).

■■ How will you and your assistant be dressed? This is where your photographer needs input from you, to learn about your chosen dress code. Your photographer will be interacting with your guests, and it’s best if he’s in a fine suit or tuxedo to blend in while working.

■■ Do you have any meal requests or dietary restrictions? Not many wedding couples ask this question, and it’s an important one. If your photographer is given just the usual vendor meal (often a chicken and vegetables dish, not the same entree that your guests get,) and can’t eat it, his energy

your vendors a guest-type meal if you’ve had any last-minute wedding guest cancellations.

■■ What do you need from me?

If you’d like to display a slideshow of your childhood photos or engagement photos at the wedding, find out which format the photographer needs -- images on a disk, images emailed in a particular size and resolution, the format for the soundtrack, etc.

■■ Are you OK with other people taking photos? This is a rather new consideration, as a great many wedding photographers dislike losing an important shot (like your first kiss) when guests stand up with their iPads and other devices. It’s smart to ask your photographer what he prefers and when to make an announcement to guests at the ceremony, asking them not to use their phones and iPads to take photos at the ceremony.

■■ What time will you arrive at our pre-wedding locations to capture photos of the ladies and the men? You might assume it would take an hour, but it may actually take several hours, so you need to adjust your getting-ready time to match up with your photographer’s arrival.

■■ If my event lasts longer than expected, will you be able to stay?

Some photographers book two, or even three, weddings on a peak

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By CHANDRA ORR Creators.com With a little compromise — and the right officiant — a mixed-faith couple can design a ceremony rich in tradition, one that reflects their shared values while satisfying families on both sides.

“One of the biggest challenges is for the couple to be true to themselves, accommodating to their parents and gracious to their guests,” says Celia Milton, a minister and civil officiant based in North Haledon, N.J. “It is a delicate balancing act, but when done well, an interfaith ceremony can present mixed groups of guests with an experience that they find interesting, informative and inspiring rather than alienating or exclusive.”

See RELIGIONS on Page 7

New H om e Discounts

C A R P ET W A R EH O U SE

Religions can be blended

Find the right officiant Who will preside over the ceremony? It’s one of the biggest questions facing mixed-faith couples.

Some opt to blend the two traditions with co-officiants, one from each religion. Others bypass the predicament with a secular civil servant.

“Many couples choose to go this route, eliminating all religious references from their ceremony, thereby sidestepping the

wedding season day, so you need to know if he’ll have to rush out at the planned end time for your wedding to get to the next one. Important: He might not have other bookings yet, so ask him to let you know if he does book a next wedding on your big day.

■■ Which kinds of filters will you be using on our wedding day?

This is a new question for wedding photographers, since there are many new types of filters in existence. Some may blur the edges of your photos or turn candlelight and strung lights into little heart shapes. Ask to see examples of different filter effects, so that you can list out the ones you like.

■■ When will our photos be ready? You likely asked this before hiring your photographer, but it’s a good idea to get a reminder of how many weeks or months it will take before all of your photos are edited and posted onto an online gallery. This will reduce the number of stressful phone calls to your photographer later.

■■ Do you have any questions for me? Your photographer wants to make you happy, so he may ask if you like more candid photos, or more posed ones, and which types of photos you definitely don’t want. This is a relationship you’re forming, and two-way communication always works to your advantage.

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THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2016

BRIDAL GUIDE ■ PAGE 7

Religions Add your own spin to wedding vows (Concluded from Page 7)

problem,” says Maureen Thomson, wedding officiant and owner of Lyssabeth’s Wedding Officiants, with offices in California, Colorado and Oregon.

In each case, an open-minded officiant is a must.

“A professional wedding officiant who is not a member of either faith would be the best option -someone who honors all beliefs,” Thomson says.

Look for an officiant experienced in mixed-faith marriages, one who can offer plenty of advice on blending the two traditions.

“They’ll be able to guide the couple to rituals and readings that will be appropriate to the ceremony,” Milton says. “They’ll also be able to counsel the couple on traditional elements that they might not have considered but that might be very, very important to the parents and family.”

Even if your pastor, priest or rabbi makes an appearance, skip the church, the mosque or the temple, and opt for a secular location.

“Start with a neutral playing field,” Thomson says. “Holding the service at a place of worship will send the message that one religion trumps the other in the marriage, no matter what elements of the other religion are interwoven into the ceremony.”

Create new rituals Instead of fussing over your differences, focus on the commonalities between the two faiths.

“Embrace the diversity of beliefs right at the start of your ceremony, framing it as a positive element, as opposed to a challenge,” Thomson says. “It is rare that there are not some common fundamental beliefs that can be used as the bedrock of the wedding ceremony.”

Consider the important rituals from each religion -- from the glass breaking at the end of a Jewish ceremony to the unity candle common in Christian weddings -- and use those rituals as a tie between the faiths.

“These can all be combined or new rituals created,” Milton says.

“I had a Jewish-Christian couple who did the glass breaking at the end, but they used a glass Christmas ornament hidden in the velvet bag.”

“Another couple had their moms, one Jewish and one Buddhist, present them with their wedding rings and offer a short traditional blessing as they did. It was lovely,” Milton says.

Look for ways to incorporate subtle symbolism. Ask the officiant to honor each faith with an article of clothing -- a yarmulke worn with a stole bearing a Christian symbol or a prayer shawl worn with a clerical collar. Such representation can go a long way toward appeasing older relatives without saying a word, Thomson says.

According to Thomson, when blending religious customs — such as lighting a unity candle under a chuppah — focus on the symbolism rather than the religious interpretation and your guests will be onboard. Ask your officiant to explain each ritual and offer insight into the history of the diverse customs.

And don’t overlook the reception.

“At the reception, there is generally less stress about convictions,” Thomson says. “Consider a dual blessing over the meal; incorporate traditional dances and customs from the separate cultures; or make a toast to both sets of parents, celebrating diversity and tolerance.”

By TOM ROEBUCK Creators.com Each segment of the ceremony plays an important role in making a wedding memorable, but it’s when the couple faces each other and pledges their love in front of family and friends that’s the most emotional. Usually followed by a kiss, the marriage vows represent the bond between two people that is meant never to be broken.

It used to be that couples simply would recite the traditional wedding vows that were given to them by the officiant.

But starting in the 1950s, couples began to disregard tradition and compose their own vows.

Sometimes they ditch the traditional vows altogether and choose their own words, or they stick with the script and add a little at the end. Because each couple is unique, as is their relationship, it is understandable that they would want to express in their own words what they mean to each other.

Some churches and officiants

only allow traditional vows, but many officiants allow couples to write their own. Either way, couples should go over the vows with the officiant so there are no surprises on the big day, advises Diane Warner, author of “Complete Book of Wedding Vows.”

“If the officiant is open to your writing your own vows, it’s important to meet with him or her to go over the wording,” Warner says.

“The officiant may have suggestions as to the flow of the wording, plus it’s important to practice the vows with the officiant ahead of time.”

Warner says that there are three formats that usually are followed when couples compose their own vows: question-and-answer, monologue and dialogue. With the question-and-answer format, the officiant does most of the talking. This format is a good choice if the bride or groom is petrified of public speaking. The monologue format is perfect for a couple who wish to keep their vows a secret from each other.

“If you have agreed to do the

traditional vows and add your personalized part at the end, that is the surprise, the gift,” says Sharon Naylor, author of “Your Special Wedding Vows.” “A lot of grooms don’t have the money to give the diamond earrings or diamond necklace they were giving in the ’80s. The gift is: ‘Here are my words.’”

It is important for the couple to rehearse their vows, but Naylor advises against memorizing them verbatim.

The words should come from your heart, not from a notecard.

If you stumble, the officiant can help you get back on track so you can get your point across without rambling. The marriage should last a lifetime, but the vows shouldn’t last more than two minutes.

“The first thing they need to do is not put too much pressure on

themselves to speak for too long,” Naylor says. “It literally is a twominute, if that, section of what to say.”

When the time comes to sit down and write, you should ask yourself some questions.

“What do you want to promise each other? What out of the traditional vows rings true for you?

What is a strong priority,” Naylor says. “It could be the forsaking of all others. Do you want that in there?”

Keeping in mind what makes your relationship special will give the vows a personal touch.

“There’s a lot more assessing these days about what the relationship is built on. ‘We have a lot of fun together. I promise to always make you laugh,’” Naylor says. “They’re really looking at the top-five building blocks of their relationship.”

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THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2016

What to consider when selecting wedding date

By KRISTEN CASTILLO Creators.com

cause road closures or booked-up hotels,” says Meghan Ely of OFD Consulting.

Jordan McMullen, a vegan food and fitness blogger, is starting to plan her wedding. Though she and her fiance only recently got engaged, they’re already thinking of the ideal date to get hitched.

They’d like to do it on a day that’s far away from holidays and their respective birthdays and at an outdoor venue in the Northeast, which means they need to pick a time of year that has warm weather. The couple are also looking to use seasonal flowers and use local in-season foods, including fruit.

All couples have specific wedding wish lists of what they want and what they need to avoid.

One of the most important considerations is when to marry.

From overly popular dates to holidays to local events, there are a lot of factors to think about when choosing your wedding day. Here’s a rundown of what to consider before selecting your wedding date.

Be flexible Don’t get fixated on a specific date, suggests wedding planner Danielle Rothweiler. If you’re too rigid, you may be excluding venues that you’d otherwise book for your event.

“Instead of ‘must-having’ Oct. 16, be open to Saturdays in October and so forth,” Rothweiler says.

“The more flexible you can be the better off you are.”

Look for low stress Wedding planning isn’t a lowstress process, but you can take it easy on yourself by holding your wedding during a down time in your life.

“Definitely consider what time of year is least stressful for you and easy for you to take off from work,” says Mary Bradley, owner of Mary Bradley Events. “You want to be as carefree as possible and focus on enjoying your big day.”

Rule out holidays Unless you specifically want a Christmas wedding or Valentine’s Day vows, “avoid major holidays, religious observance and bigevent days,” says Marc Nathan of MNP Photographers Inc., who explains weddings on religious and national holidays “can decrease attendance.”

A holiday exception There is one exception to the previous rule.

“As long as you’re planning a great party with drinks and dancing, a New Year’s Eve wedding is a great idea,” says Rothweiler.

Steer clear of local events Sure, a road race, a college graduation or an art festival won’t

Avoid dates of major sporting events Getting married during Super Bowl weekend may seem like a good idea, but will your guests be able to attend? And will those guests who show up be crowded at the bar looking at the big game?

Save yourself the trouble of negotiating the details of this major football day by not holding your wedding that day.

Choose off-peak days and times By holding your wedding on an off-peak day and time — for example, a Thursday evening or a Sunday brunch — “you’ll have better group rates, which is always a bonus for your guests,” says Nathan.

Avoid sensitive dates Marrying on certain dates — Sept. 11, for example — can make guests uncomfortable.

Consider the weather Light snow might be OK at a winter wedding, but a blizzard could really put a damper on the

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Before picking the date for your wedding, it is a good idea to think about what else is taking place that day. compete with your wedding, but it can be a hassle in other areas, such as travel and accommodations.

“It’s absolutely imperative to check the local calendars, keeping an eye out for any event that may

celebration. Consider tropical weather patterns, too.

“Some of the most popular wedding dates fall in hurricane season, yet couples ignore it,” says Ely. “This is absolutely an imperative thing to consider. I’ve seen weddings displaced due to hurricanes and tropical storm-related mudslides.”

Check the almanac for predictions on how hot, cold or stormy the weather typically is for the days you’re considering.

Avoid family birthdays and anniversaries Do you want to have the same anniversary as your aunt and uncle? Want to get married on your brother-in-law’s birthday?

Don’t choose those dates. Further, don’t pick a wedding date too close to when your friends are getting hitched. You’ll feel stressed and bogged down by comparisons.

No matter what date you choose, realize that not every guest will be able to attend. But it’s still worth carefully choosing a nuptial date to maximize the overall experience, guest attendance and your budget.

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BRIDAL GUIDE ■ PAGE 9

Break the rules: Say goodbye to expected

By KRISTEN CASTILLO Creators.com When Shuva Rahim and Scott Lewis married a few years ago, they skipped a lot of wedding formalities like speeches and dances, replacing those moments with dinner and conversation. They incorporated literature and outside cultures in their Muslim-Christian wedding. Plus they saw each other before the ceremony.

“We did a few things in reverse order,” says Rahim, who is also a wedding photographer. “For example, a month and a half before the wedding, we went on our honeymoon and took a trip to Scotland. It was our best trip to date.”

The decision to skip some typical wedding customs is gaining in popularity, as more couples forgo traditions such as the garter toss or cake cutting.

“You can break any wedding rule you want to nowadays, as long as you don’t offend or hurt anyone intentionally in the process,” says Sandy Malone, blogger and star of TLC’s “Wedding Island” and Fox’s “Bodas Increibles.”

For example, Malone says it’s not expected anymore that a bride ask her sisters or sisters-in-law to be bridesmaids, “if you’re not close to them or you don’t have a large wedding party, but be sure to let them know what you’re doing

early in the planning so there are no unreasonable expectations.”

Take a look at some traditions that wedding professionals recommend forgetting.

more and more couples are tossing away that tradition.

“Every single one of my brides has vetoed this awkward moment,” says Guzman.

Formal attire As a bride and groom, you don’t necessarily have to dress formally.

“Typically, most weddings are a formal affair and requires a certain style of dress,” says Danielle Farrell, event planner with The Betty Brigade, a personal assistance and concierge service.

“However, if that isn’t what you want to do, then don’t do it.”

Take shoes for example: Some grooms wear sneakers and many brides don flip flops.

Don’t worry about white Wedding colors may traditionally be white and ivory but those aren’t the only color choices.

“There is a plethora of fresh new colored wedding gowns,” says Moore, noting a light blue chiffon gown.

Many designers have added color including lavender, red, silver and blush to their bridal fashions.

Break gender rules If your best friend is a man, why can’t he be your representative in the bridal party? Don’t get hung up on the idea that ladies can only support the bride and guys have to stand next to the groom. Mixing gender roles is OK. The groom’s sister can definitely be the “Best Woman” in the wedding party.

Skip the sit-down dinner Plated meals can be pricey.

Plus, they’re so scheduled that someone is always “done way before the last table is served,” says Johnna Guzman of Purple Fire Productions.

Try getting more interactive

Avoid strict venues Frustrated because your venue won’t stray from the standard menu? You’re not alone. Many couples are ditching venues and vendors that are too rigid.

“My clients look for flexible, fun spaces where we have more freedom to create and design versus traditional, expensive venues with rules,” says Guzman.

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Rules are made to be broken. If you want to have a wedding photo taken while you are paddling a canoe, it’s OK. with your food options instead.

“Chef stations and creative food bars are much more fun and way less restrictive,” says Guzman.

The result? First look photos of the bride and groom shot before the ceremony.

“I am a huge fan of the first look,” says Leann Moore of Whimsical Floral Design. “The most incredible photos come from this private moment between the couple without all the eyes on them.”

Formal photos These days, couples don’t want overly posed pictures. Instead they’re looking for more relaxed photo styles and willing to break with the tradition of not seeing each other before the wedding.

Forget the cake Who says you have to have wedding cake? You can serve cupcakes, cookies, pastries and candies for a sweet treat. Some couples even host an ice cream sundae bar.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” says Farrell.

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THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2016

Top trends in wedding invitations

By SHARON NAYLOR Creators.com The days of homemade wedding invitations are over. Wedding couples have figured out that you can’t beat the crisp details and fine papers of professional invitations for their big day. The look and feel of a wedding invitation are the first introduction to your wedding style, and today’s couples want that first impression to be perfect -- and expensive-looking, even when invitations are bought on a budget.

As you start looking for your wedding invitations, keep the following top trends for 2015 in mind to help you navigate the vast world of invitation styles you’ll find online and in invitation sample books or to help you work with a custom wedding invitation designer to create a style that’s all your own: Invitation style ■■ Pocket invitations are a top trend for 2015 weddings, with the opened invitation revealing slots containing pretty insert cards.

When you have pockets for your reception card -- and especially for your response card -- your guests can easily find the information they’re looking for, and those cards are kept organized and safer for their returning of their RSVP card to you. Plus, the color contrast of an insert card against the pocket designs adds depth and color pairings that impress.

■■ Gatefold invitations. If you prefer not to have insert cards, all of your information will be printed on the front of your invitation, and with gatefold invitations that close at the middle of the card, you get extra room to print details on the insides of those gates.

■■ Postcards. Not just for save-the-dates, postcard-style invitations revel in their simple elegance, providing the basics of your wedding date, time and place, with the URL of your personal wedding website included for guests to visit for added information. An idea with this style of invitation is to feature a photo of the two of you on the front of the postcard, something that oldworld etiquette rules would never entertain but has become a large and acceptable trend today.

Vintage style is a top invitation trend.

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Colors ■■ Mary Tipper, president of Elegant Wedding Invites, says of the top invitation color trends, as well as top wedding colors overall: “Blue is a classic color for wedding planning, and we’ll see more navy, royal and powder blue in the year 2015. We (also) saw the outbreak of blush and peach in 2014, which will be continuously popular in 2015, with more shades of pink and red added, like sangria and burgundy.” Burgundy will be especially big in 2015, given that wedding color trendsetter Pantone named a rich berry/brick color, marsala, as its color of the year. Berry shades will be immensely popular.

■■ Other top colors include neutrals, such as champagne and brown, Tiffany blue and English garden shades, such as lavender, sage green, pink and ivory, to call to the trend in vintage-inspired weddings.

Motifs ■■ Lace is a top motif for wedding invitations in 2015, both as a design printed on the card itself and as an actual lace overlay or ribbon wrap. With vintage and rustic elegant weddings being a

top trend today, lace is the perfect accompaniment to convey a romantic feeling in your invitations.

■■ Vintage florals. Think garden roses and rosebuds, gardenias -- any flowers you’d find in an English garden, printed romantically on the invitation as a floral burst at the bottom corner or as a border of tiny blooms and greenery.

■■ Laser-cut designs. Intricate cutouts created by laser add texture and color contrast to invitations in an array of designs, from lace to flourishes to an architectural motif -- for example, the illustration of a lattice on your gatefold invitation cover.

■■ Other top invitation motifs include birds, leaves, nautical anchors and seashells. And many

couples are using ampersands to convey the sense that they are joining their lives together.

■■ Chalkboard designs. Printed to look like chalkboard writing, this style carries over from 2014 wedding invitation trends.

■■ Pretty fonts. Basic italics aren’t good enough anymore. Now the trend is for artistic lettering, and that may be a custom design for your wedding.

Accents ■■ Again, lace overlays and ribbon ties.

■■ Sparkle. Adding a bit of glitter to an invitation provides a dash of fashion style and excitement for the festivities to come. Sparkle may be on the tie, or “belt,” to the

invitation package, or it may come courtesy of shimmery metallic paper.

■■ Rustic wedding invitations are tied with twine for that outdoorsy feel.

These wedding invitation trends also come into play for engagement party and bridal shower invitations, and it’s a trend to maintain your wedding invitation design in your printed items for the wedding day, such as your place cards, menu cards and any signs you’ll display as wedding decor. Your invitation choice, then, directs the look and feel for your wedding, so invest plenty of time in exploring your options and choosing the design that works best for you.

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BRIDAL GUIDE ■ PAGE 13

Plan for forever, but protect yourself with prenup

By KRISTEN CASTILLO Creators.com No one wants to think about divorce but it can be a reality for many couples. So while you’re planning for forever, it’s still a wise decision to protect your interests.

Getting a prenuptial agreement, a legal document outlining who gets what if a divorce happens, doesn’t sound romantic but it is practical.

“We all know the statistics: Nearly half of all marriages will end in divorce,” says New York attorney Ann Margaret Carrozza, creator of “The Love Contract.”

“Having a prenup ensures that the couple dictates the terms of a split as opposed to some judge. A good prenup will ensure that both parties are treated fairly in the event of a divorce.”

If a divorce does happen, a prenup is the foundation for who owes what.

“A prenuptial agreement can provide for financial agreement between spouses, including property income, and spousal support,” says prenuptial agreement expert Dana Lowy, partner in Los Angeles-based Meyer, Olson, Lowy and Meyer. “It can protect against significant disputes on valuing and dividing a community property or separate property business in the event of divorce.”

That means your prenup can outline who gets the house, the cars and your investments, like vacation properties and stocks.

“Parties involved can make financial agreements on anything other than those related to children,” says Lowy, noting the husband and wife will have to make financial disclosures.

Agreements for the wealthy?

While it may seem that prenuptial agreements are only for high-

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calls “Love Contract” clauses into the prenup. These clauses can include financial goals and spending limits.

“We typically include penalties for infractions,” says Carrozza.

“These range from lighthearted sanctions such as household chores, to monetary penalties for violating one of the enumerated ‘deal breakers.’”

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Prenuptial agreements help brides and grooms to plan for your future. profile business people, athletes and celebrities, the legal contracts can protect husbands and wives of all income levels.

In a survey of 256 adults conducted by research company Survata, over 73 percent say prenuptial agreements are not just for the rich. And nearly 88 percent of respondents think the groom should be the one to pay for the prenup.

“Prenuptial agreements are not necessarily for every couple, but I am a fan of them as a financial adviser,” says Elle Kaplan, CEO and founder of LexION Capital, the only 100 percent female-owned asset management firm in the U.S. For example, Kaplan says some women with more successful careers than their spouses get prenups.

“They wanted to separate the

emotional decision of marriage from any financial implications,” she says. “And it’s not that a prenup has to mean that one person gets nothing in the event of a separation.

“Contracts are only as good as they are fair. Something like this is effective when both parties feel protected.”

Carrozza says it’s often more important for the less wealthy spouse to request the prenup, “to ensure that he or she is made whole in the event that the relationship doesn’t work out,” especially if that spouse is making sacrifices like putting education or a career on hold for the marriage.

She suggests adding what she

Postnuptial agreements Couples who don’t get a prenup can still protect their interests after saying “I do” with postnuptial agreements.

Postnups are legal documents between a husband and wife that divide assets in case of divorce or death.

For example, Carrozza says, a postnup “can require the surviving spouse to enter into a prenup in a subsequent marriage,” which would guarantee that assets from the first marriage pass directly to the children of that marriage and not to the new spouse.

“The postnup is often created in response to a bad behavior event,” says Carrozza, explaining a postnup, “can establish a financial penalty for a repeat slip-up,” such as cheating.

Prenups and postnups can be as simple or as detailed as you and your spouse decide. While it’s best to never have to refer to the legal document, you’ll be grateful to have it if you need it.

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THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2016

Some wedding projects are DIY, some are not

By TERESA CORTES Creators.com The Champagne has been toasted. The ring fits. And the excitement of your recent engagement has subsided just long enough for you to think about the vast work that lies before you. It’s time to get down to the business of planning a wedding. One concern you may have repeatedly throughout this process is what you can get away with doing yourself and which jobs warrant hiring a professional.

Your wedding budget will more than likely take one of its biggest hits from hiring a photographer — so much so that it may feel quite alluring to want to hire a friend who claims he is handy with a camera instead. However, more than any other expense of your wedding, this is perhaps the one place where it certainly pays to hire a professional. Wedding photographers are trained and skilled in how to capture the most picturesque of moments: the first kiss, the bouquet toss and the giving away of the bride, among others. Professionals understand best how to manipulate light, as well as work with shadows and varying weather conditions, to provide the clearest and most beautiful depictions of your special moments.

When all is said and done, these photographs will be one of the only physical remnants of the love felt that day, so it’s vital that they be done correctly.

Perhaps one of the most nervewracking questions any bride may ask herself is, “What if no one dances?” When you hire a DJ to take care of your music, you are hiring not only someone to hit the play button but also someone to help set the tone of the soundtrack of your wedding day. You are also investing in someone who is experienced in entertaining a roomful of guests. Most DJs act as master of ceremonies, as well, and work to keep guests excited and interested in the various wedding events.

Though it may seem as if an iPod can suffice, it’s important to keep in mind how difficult it may be to gather a group of nervous guests onto a dance floor without the encouragement from a proper emcee. Therefore, it may prove worth the price to hire a professional DJ when it comes to the enjoyment of your guests and your stress level.

For the creative and penny-

ceremony. However, this does give you the ability to make the tone of your ceremony much more personalized. Lastly, you will need to make sure to work with your DJ to provide appropriate amplification for the officiant. With a bit more legwork, the payoff can be enormous, with a customized ceremony that reflects who you and your spouse are, at a fraction of the cost that comes with hiring a professional.

Many brides daydream about the beautiful flowers that will adorn their wedding day — that is, until the reality of the costly prices of peonies actually hits them.

Hiring a florist to arrange your wedding flowers or create your bouquets certainly makes the process even costlier. If you are orga-

nized enough and have a very willing bridal party, doing your own flowers may work. But it’s important to think ahead. Focus on flowers that will be in bloom during the season in which your wedding will take place. It’s also helpful to do a dry run of any bouquets and centerpieces that you will be doing yourself so that the real deal is not so overwhelming.

DIY Network has several suggestions for keeping prices low, such as mixing expensive and inexpensive flowers and utilizing less costly greens in bouquets and centerpieces. There are many creative and affordable options that are available when it comes to your wedding flowers, certainly making it a doable option for most brides.

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If you are looking to do some things for your wedding yourself, making the bouquets is a good starting point. pinching brides, there are a few areas in your wedding that you can tackle yourself. Nearly anyone can become ordained to officiate a wedding. Having a close friend or family member officiate your wedding is a wonderful opportunity to not only save you money but also add a personal touch to your ceremony. Yes, you will have a few more tasks to wrangle than you would if you hired a professional wedding officiant, but many people say it’s worth it. First, becoming ordained to officiate a wedding can be done both easily and cheaply online through various organizations, many of which are nondenominational and some of which are attributed to specific religions. It’s important to look into any further legalities of your place of residence (or where you choose to get married) to ensure

that the marriage is done legally.

Offbeat Bride makes a great point regarding this vital part of the officiating process: “If you are doing research online regarding marriage law, only trust sources that are the legitimate website of the government in question.” You will also be responsible for writing the

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BRIDAL GUIDE ■ PAGE 15

Getting married for the 2nd time? Make it special

By SHARON MOSLEY Creators.com

and get more of your partner’s input. You’re not (let’s hope) those starry-eyed 21-year-old college kids anymore. If you’re part of the growing number of couples who are paying for their weddings, it makes sense for you to plan an event that will make you both happy. That may mean some compromising -- especially if one of you has not been married before and always has dreamed of a big church wedding or if there are major religious considerations.

Talking these issues through way in advance will make a second wedding much more enjoyable for everyone involved.

■■ Don’t assume anything. He wants a small wedding; you have dozens of relatives who will be hurt if they’re not invited. She

If you’re getting married for the second time, that doesn’t mean you have to have a secondrate wedding. It does mean, let’s hope, that you are a lot wiser and that you will make this event even more special than the first one. After all, as one friend who recently remarried put it, “The first time, your parents traditionally pay for your wedding; the second time, you’re paying for it.”

Here are some do’s and don’ts to make the second-time-around wedding a wonderful celebration: ■■ Do plan your big day together. Chances are your mother did it for you the first time around.

Now’s your chance to do it again

wants just the two of you to sail off into a Caribbean sunset; you want your four children to be in attendance. He wants to wear jeans and a dinner jacket; you want a billowing ball gown. (Yes, it’s OK for the second-time bride to wear white!)

Again, talk about your preferences, even down to the smallest details.

■■ Do discuss a special location. This one can be tough. Many couples who remarry do not want to repeat the scenarios of their previous weddings. The second wedding offers the perfect opportunity to explore other options, and the choice of venue can set the tone for your unique celebration. Whether it’s an intimate restaurant dinner that includes close family and friends, a barbecue and square dance in a barn, or a

destination wedding to a castle in Ireland or a wine tasting at a vineyard in California, choose a spot that will have romantic meaning for you both.

■■ Don’t forget about budget.

Have your heart set on dozens of orchids dripping from the ceiling of a grand tented ballroom? You might want to reconsider after you talk to a florist. Do you really want a ring that costs the same amount as a new swimming pool?

Be realistic, and keep things simple. If you’re really intent on hosting a grand affair, then hire a wedding planner who can help you set a budget and hire reputable vendors. Otherwise, keep things simple, and concentrate on creating an event that is more personal and won’t break the bank. After

all, you’ve got kids in college.

■■ Do make it joyful. The two of you may just want to sneak away to a beachfront cottage and tie the knot, but that doesn’t mean you can’t mark the occasion with a special celebration for family and friends. Consider having an “after” party at which you can really have fun and not worry about getting to the church on time!

■■ Don’t be afraid to break the rules. The American wedding for both young and old couples has changed dramatically in the past few decades. There really are no longer any tried-and-true rules anymore, so concentrate on finding a truly special way to start a new life together, and do what feels right for you — not your mother.

Best wedding bars feature signature beverages

By SHARON NAYLOR Creators.com

to serve a selection of signature drinks,” Peterson says, a fact that ties into today’s budget concerns for brides and grooms. A full open bar with unlimited top-shelf liquors can be very expensive.

When you design a collection of fruity, bright signature drinks in addition to classic beer and wine, it can look as if you’ve spent a lot but, in reality, may have saved money.

These trendy cocktails are most prevalent in bright colors, though paler drinks also may be on the menu. Peterson says many wedding couples are choosing vibrantly colored cocktails to match or coordinate with the color scheme of their wedding, for special effect that energizes the event’s palette when those drinks are served at the bar and carried around by guests. The bride and groom also could have photos taken of themselves holding these signature cocktails, creating a color-coordinated photo tying into their day’s overarching colors.

Peterson advises having drinks made to order. Here’s why: ■■ Part of the excitement for guests is seeing the bartenders do the preparing in exciting steps, such as muddling and shaking, and guests see the lovely swirl of colors in their glasses as the drink is created.

■■ Guests prefer a fresh drink

The drinks served at weddings have come a long way since the days of beer, wine and classic mixed drinks. Now the trend is for signature cocktails to wow guests with their creative blends of flavors and their vivid colors.

Contonna Peterson, COO of Bartending Unlimited, says: “Right now, the big trend is for signature fruity drinks. We’re combining flavors such as a peach nectar and cranberry Bellini, as just one example of the blends of flavors for trendy new drinks.”

Another example of Peterson’s creations is fresh kiwi juice, Sprite and a hint of apple Pucker with a star-shaped kiwi perched on the edge of the glass. Peterson says that she’s using fresh fruits and fresh fruit nectars for the best taste.

Mixologists are creating delectable blends of fruity flavors, which guests love because they are taste combinations they don’t experience at other events or make for themselves. Drink creation is a new artistry, and Peterson says the show of bartenders mixing and shaking these drinks, pouring them out with a flourish, makes the drink experience even more spectacular.

“Brides and grooms who don’t want to do a full bar are choosing

made just for them. It’s the realm of a dive bar to have cocktails premade in a big jug and poured out into a glass. That’s not good enough for your wedding and could turn guests off.

■■ Made-to-order drinks simply taste best, because premade drinks become diluted.

So even though you might think having premixed drinks on

display — such as on the bar or at a drink station — would be a great visual effect, as you may have seen on Pinterest, made-to-order is always the best plan.

Let guests know what they have to look forward to, with a printed list of your signature cocktail flavors on display at the bar. It’s a big trend for brides and grooms to give their signature drinks a per-

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PAGE 16 ■ BRIDAL GUIDE

THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2016

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The wedding menus, supervised by the same chef as the restaurant, also tap into local resources and purveyors. Receptions as large as 180 people can start with cocktails around the fire pit, move indoors into historic rooms or take place on the hillside Mission Blue Lawn, with the treeframed Golden Gate view. The turn-of-the-20th-century chapel, with its indoor balcony for musicians and overhead photography,

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rounding Marin Headlands and nearby Mount Tamalpais are less than 20 minutes away.

Cavallo Point has few rival resorts in Northern California until you head south to Big Sur or north to Napa. Even then, no other destination nails so much of what is specific to San Francisco and Marin.

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Cavallo Point Cavallo Point embodies the Northern California sensibility around luxury and romantic inspiration. The air, moist from its immediate proximity to San Francisco Bay, is fragrant with eucalyptus, bay laurel, rosemary and other greenery populating the hilly grounds. The hotel’s location affords an up-close view of the Golden Gate Bridge unavailable anywhere else. The hotel restored the original military buildings and built its new facilities to harmonize with the natural environment, rendering the entire resort LEED-certified.

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The wedding and honeymoon destinations El Dorado Casitas Royale, on the Yucatan’s Riviera Maya, and Cavallo Point, the serene, historic resort nestled under San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge, are different in many ways.

An all-inclusive, adults-only property, El Dorado Casitas Royale edges a sandy beach about 45 minutes south of Cancun, Mexico. Within its manicured grounds lie thatched roofed suites with swim-up pools, beach beds enveloped by billowing linen curtains and more than a dozen designated places to marry and hold receptions, including chapels, gazebos, piers and myriad romantic sandy patches.

Cavallo Point stands on a green swath of land surrounded

by Marin Headlands and bordered by San Francisco Bay’s stately shores. A former military base, the resort consists of either spacious, meticulously restored 100-year-old officer residences or newly built tranquil, eco-conscious rooms with majestic vistas and bamboo ceilings. Weddings typically occur in a refurbished nondenominational chapel or on a grassy hillside with eucalyptus trees that frame views of the Golden Gate Bridge.

However different, though, these award-winning resorts share key characteristics. Both offer exceptional food, state-of-the art spas, friendly service and customizable romantic experiences rooted in their surrounding environments and cultures.

offerings at five distinctly themed restaurants.

The Casitas spa expanded an already large menu of body, facial and beauty treatments to encompass therapies inspired by ancient customs. Temazcal, an intense multi-hour detox for the body and soul, is conducted by a Mayan shaman in honor of the fertility goddess Ixchel and within the confines of an igloo-like sweat lodge.

For the wedding day, Generations’ new spa installed an entire floor devoted to bridal services.

Private bridal chambers with multiple rooms and salon facilities allow beauty services, food, drink and whatever else the bride wants to come to her.

During their stay, couples can venture on one-day excursions to many Mayan ruins, local villages, lovely beaches and the famous archeological site of Chichen Itza — all of which can be arranged on the resort grounds.

Many hotels dot the Riviera Maya shores. El Dorado Casitas Royale distinguishes itself with strong dining and a focus on memorable weddings and romance at a good value.

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BRIDAL GUIDE ■ PAGE 17

Best to purchase shoes 1st, dress 2nd

By SHARON NAYLOR Creators.com Brides love their shoes. So much so that many of them are shopping for their wedding day shoes first and then using their chosen shoe style to help determine which wedding dress is The One. When Megan Stec got engaged, it was her shoes she focused on first. Specifically, she was looking for a pair of Christian Louboutin ruby red shoes that she had seen months prior and that fit her love of “The Wizard of Oz.” She spent two months looking for the pair, even searching internationally.

During her search, she found and fell in love with a different pair of Louboutins. “It was like the ‘Horse of a Different Color,’” says Stec, referring to the differently hued sparkly shoes. “Buying my shoes was just as special as buying my wedding dress. When I tried them on, I knew they were The One.” Fashion merchandising expert Stec spent just one month, half the time of her shoe search, looking for and choosing her wedding dress.

The trend is picking up, with more brides dreaming about their wedding shoes, in addition to their wedding dresses. They’re creating Pinterest boards devoted to their shoe inspirations, and they’re talking with their engaged friends about shoes as well as dresses, cakes and other wedding topics. Years ago, bridal shoes were commonly plain and white. Now, they’re sparkly, brightly colored, designer named and fabulous.

According to The Wedding Report, the top trends in brides’ shoes are colors (especially green

Then, they may be very happy wearing a dress in a more moderate price range.

■■ Unlike their once-in-a-lifetime gowns, brides can plan to wear their wedding shoes in the future, dazzling with the designer style.

■■ If a bride wants to show off her shoes on the wedding day, trendy knee-length dresses and ‘high-low’ dresses, with the front hem reaching knee length, then extending down like a curtain on each side to a longer length in the back, afford her the opportunity.

The result is a “frame” of her legs and shoes.

■■ Wearing wedding shoes has long been a tenet of gown shopping, specifically for alterations.

Instead of wearing different shoes during alterations, hoping for the perfect height, having the chosen

pair handy takes the guesswork out of the equation. The bride gets a better look at the whole picture.

■■ Trying on shoes is often a purely enjoyable task. Shoe size is nowhere near as much of an emotionally loaded, self-esteem challenging issue, as trying on wedding gowns. Some brides with concerns about body size or self-esteem would rather begin this magical process with a relaxing shopping trip. This eliminates some discomfort they may have with trying on dresses, releasing them from discouragement over how a dress makes them look.

Of course, the reasons vary with each bride, but the fact remains: Going shoe shopping is fun, and this may be the bride’s one time to truly splurge on a dream designer style.

CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN/CREATORS.COM

Many brides are using the style of the shoes they buy help determine which gown they will purchase. and blue), lace, and rhinestones.

In addition to the designer high heels worn during the ceremony, brides are also opting to slip into comfortable, stylish flats for the reception hours. It is, however, the ornate ceremony shoe that brides appear to be fantasizing about for their wedding days.

Here are reasons more brides are shopping for shoes first and dresses second: ■■ Gorgeous images, on Pinterest and in bridal blogs, of brides and bridesmaids wearing amazing, colorful or glittery shoes resonate with them. It’s the look they want for their big day. When

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buying a gown first, the style and length of dress might limit the subsequent shoe selection.

■■ Some brides are willing to devote a larger amount of money to their shoes, to enjoy that celebrity feeling of wearing something designer. If they can’t afford a designer dress in the thousands of dollars-range, then designer shoes for a few hundred dollars are readily available. Before other wedding plans and purchases chip away at their available funds, they can devote some time and money to their high-priority footwear.

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PAGE 18 ■ BRIDAL GUIDE

THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2016

Be kind to the planet: Say ‘I do” to green wedding

By SHARON MOSLEY Creators.com Congratulations! You just got engaged with a conflict-free diamond ring, and now you’re busy planning your very own “green” wedding ceremony. But before you wiggle into that fairy tale dress of hemp, why don’t you take a long sip of your favorite organic wine and make an eco-friendly to-do list?

Just because you and your partner are committed to saving the planet doesn’t mean you can’t have a fabulous wedding. You just need to think a little more creatively.

Here are some ways to vow to do it greenly: ■■ Start by limiting the excesses of the entire event. Keep your guest list to a minimum. This will eliminate some of the waste often associated with large crowds and cut down on other costs associated with invitations, catering, etc.

Send out your wedding invitations on recycled paper or via e-mail.

You also can set up a Web site for guests to use to RSVP and request the chicken or fish.

■■ Consider limiting your gift registry. If you don’t need china and glassware, you might want to suggest that guests make donations to your favorite charity.

■■ The attire is usually a major expense for any wedding, but even if you’re going green, you still want to look fabulous on the big day. There are lots of eco-friendly alternatives available today, whether it’s wearing your mom’s gown, going to a consignment shop or having a vintage gown remodeled. You even might want to buy a gorgeous evening gown that you can wear for years to come.

And there are plenty of eco-conscious fashion designers now who use eco-friendly fabrics.

■■ Let’s face it; most wedding gowns are worn only once, so there are plenty of ways to think recycling on this expense.

Ditto for the groom and the wedding party. One example is www.

GlassSlipperProject.org, where bridesmaids’ dresses are recycled for girls who can’t afford prom dresses.

■■ Wedding jewelry is a great place to go green. Many jewelers now have alternatives to consider,

Make your wedding dessert hour a big hit

By SHARON NAYLOR Creators.com “We’re definitely seeing a growing trend this year for wedding dessert buffets featuring a collection of different cakes,” says Anne Heap, owner of Pink Cake Box. “The buffet might include several different flavors of small cakes, and it might also include in addition to these cakes a variety of mini cupcakes, cake pops, macaroons and other desserts.”

Brides and grooms want their guests to enjoy the dessert hour, as well as the wedding itself, and they know that guests look forward to the delicious dessert and pastry options that close out the celebration. Providing multiple types and flavors of cakes allows guests to relish a flavor or flavors of their choice.

The cake buffet is an evolution of the traditional Viennese dessert table, a long buffet offering

many different types of desserts, from mousses to tarts to petits fours and other items. Now, the trend includes multiple cakes that may be offered in addition to the grand wedding cake.

Selecting your cakes Heap says that while each cake itself has a different flavor and filling combination, all of the cakes are iced and designed in a coordinating color palette. “If the couple choose an ivory, blush pink and gold color combination, we create all of the cakes in those hues,” just iced and decorated a bit differently.

The cakes all coordinate and create a cohesive effect, whether it’s all-white cakes or a combination of pastels, brights or even dramatic black-and-white cakes to go with a black-and-white wedSee DESSERT on Page 19

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from using recycled stones to remaking vintage pieces to sources for conflict-free diamonds.

■■ When you pick the venue for your green wedding, choose a location that is easy on the environment. An outdoor locale, especially for a daytime event, will reduce the need for energy consumption. There are several ecofriendly resorts or nature centers that may benefit from the money you spend.

■■ Catering is also a way you can definitely go green on your wedding day. Choose a caterer or chef who specializes in using local and seasonal organic foods, and then work closely with him in selecting a menu with food that will appeal to a variety of your guests. If you will be serving organic wines, be sure to sample them first.

■■ Flowers are always greener when chosen from a local farmers market or flower farm instead of flown in from around the world.

Cut back on the huge centerpieces, and use smaller, more natural bouquets or other organic materials, such as seashells, tree branches, sand, etc. Dried or silk flowers may be another option.

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■■ Favors for your guests may be as simple as a gift of plantable flower bulbs or a tree seedling (check out the Arbor Day Foundation) or even wildflower seeds.

Chocolate from organic fair trade cocoa beans is another delicious possibility. Or you can make a donation to your favorite charity in your guests’ names.

■■ There are lots of eco-friendly

travel destinations to consider when making honeymoon plans.

Explore the possibilities of camping on the beach, hiking in the mountains, relaxing at a spa or seeing the countryside by train.

You even can stay in a treehouse (www.PostRanchInn.com)! When you say “I do” to minimizing your carbon footprints, you never know where they will take you.

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THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2016

BRIDAL GUIDE ■ PAGE 19

Dessert (Concluded from Page 18) ding theme. (Of course, the color mix could be red and white or yellow and green — whatever shades you desire.)

As for flavors, Heap says that red velvet is still extremely popular for these cake buffet choices, and “we’re also doing a lot of classics like vanilla and chocolate, and other flavors, such as peanut butter and Oreo cakes.” Other flavors to consider for cakes are lemon, berry, rum cake, coconut, caramel and passionfruit — all top trends in wedding cake flavors.

Jodi Rhoden, owner of Short Street Cakes and author of “Cake Ladies,” says that cakes are being chosen for their regional specialties, like her company’s traditional Southern salted caramel cake, paired with a triple chocolate ganache cake.

Another big trend is to include a flourless cake for your glutenfree guests, and some couples are including gluten-free cupcakes, as well. Guests are tremendously grateful at the bride and groom’s thoughtfulness, so that they can partake in the dessert hour fully.

While vibrant cakes are a trend, Heap says that she’s getting many requests for cake buffet selections that fit in with the currently hot wedding themes of “bohemian, romantic, vintage and Victorian,” which entail softer blush colors such as pinks and light greens, with decorative icing to suit those particular soft and feminine themes.

Cake buffets are also a trend at bridal showers, which is where the larger move is to vibrantly colored cakes, cupcakes and des-

Cake buffets give wedding guests delicious options.

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serts, such as hot pinks and bright oranges, sunny yellows, and even zebra stripes and polka dots.

Whimsical designs such as cakes with slanted layers, creating a topsy-turvy effect, are also popular for bridal showers. For weddings themselves, cakes tend to be more classic and in keeping with the style of the wedding cake itself.

Cake buffet display trends The display of your cakes will impress your guests simply by the appeal of the cakes themselves -but the way you arrange the cakes on the table adds even more panache. Begin with a high-quality linen tablecloth in a color that coordinates with your chosen cake collection color scheme. For that ivory, blush pink and gold cake variety, the tablecloth may be in any of those colors. Solid colors are best, without stripes or patterns, so that the cakes stand out.

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(always with a sturdy base for cutting slices without the pedestal falling over). Beneath and around the cakes, your platters of cupcakes, macaroons or cake pops create a sumptuous display.

A must is to pair each cake, as well as other desserts, with attractively designed, color-coordinated, printed labels identifying the flavors and fillings of each. And it has become more popular to alert guests to the presence of any nuts or nut butters in the cake, filling or frosting. A simple, small men-

tion of, “This cake contains nuts and nut products,” on the cakeidentification card is a smart and safe service to guests. The same indication may be made for gluten-free cakes.

The final touch for the cake buffet table is often a lighting effect. Open-flame candles are not advisable, since guests will be reaching across the table to help themselves to the cake slices and other desserts. So create that glow with LED cubes (which don’t conduct heat, preventing cakes and

desserts from softening) set on the table itself or in vases.

There’s no need to decorate this table with flowers, which is a budget-saver and prevents any petals, leaves or especially berries from falling onto or around your desserts.

As a final note, you might choose to have your reception site provide a cake buffet table attendant or two, who can cut cake slices for your guests and keep dessert platters attractive and stocked.

PAGE 20 ■ BRIDAL GUIDE

THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2016

Pinterest: What’s a girl to do with those photos?

By ANICA WONG Creators.com It should be known upfront that though I do have a boyfriend, I am nowhere near getting a ring, buying a dress and planning what decades of advertising have told me will be the biggest day of my life. Don’t get me wrong; I have every good intention of doing all of those things and honestly, the sooner the better (hint, hint to a certain someone). While I draw the line at no dress shopping until I have a sparkle on my finger, the lack of bling doesn’t stop me from looking and pinning. Pinning on Pinterest, that is.

And I’m not alone.

For anyone who has ever been on the image-sharing site, Pinterest seems like it was made for women planning weddings, whether they are getting married or not. According to Modea, a digital ad agency, 68 percent of Pinterest’s users are female, and of those women, about 28 percent are in the age bracket of 25-34 years old (see: me).

What all of these numbers translate to are a lot of women who are in the “marrying” age with millions upon millions of photos of DIY centerpieces, perfect proposals and stunning dresses literally a click away. How many women, exactly? According to a Pinterest spokesperson, “We don’t have an official count for wedding-related boards, but it’s safely in the order of tens of thousands, if not more.” The company doesn’t share data related to pins, boards or categories.

Instead, I turned to a company who interacts with Pinterest on a daily basis. Paper Moon Weddings is an online wedding magazine, one I’m guilty of following on Pinterest because their pins are prolific and suit my taste for a subdued and natural-feeling celebration. Rebecca J. Hodges, the creative director, told me that Pinterest has changed their world because their ideas and photos can go viral in minutes at the sound of a pin. “Because of the creative generation coming behind us with technology at their fingertips, more and more crafters are sharing their ideas,” she says.

What I was most interested in, though, was what type of weddings might be crafted out of Pinterest boards. If one was to look at the 100 pins on my “Wedding Partay” board, you would think I loved typography (which I do), want a wedding cake that is made to look like a tree (preferably an aspen) and am undecided on what my color scheme is going to be (too many choices). But through my pinning, I kept coming across some of the same bridesmaid dresses or mismatching wedding bands -- everyone and their mom (who probably also has a wedding board) were pinning these photos. Does this lead to the creation of more “cookie cutter” weddings because a lot of today’s brides, and future brides, are using Pinterest as their inspiration? Hodges set my mind at ease: “It’s hard to say ‘cookie cutter’ when brides are using circuses to inspire their day or if the ‘Great Gatsby’ is their greatest wedding dream.”

Hodges stressed that while Pinterest may make you feel like you have to make all of your guest favors and place settings, or make sure that you don’t copy the next bride, its main purpose is what it started out as: a visual representation of what we all like. “While many brides want their wedding

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You never know what kind of wedding photos you’ll find on Pinterest. The image-sharing site lets users get wild and crazy with their wedding plans. to look personal and DIY, they don’t necessarily want to ‘do-it-

themselves.’ More than anything we are seeing more specialized

vendors that make these unique projects for them,” Hodges says.

“Pinterest feeds from these creative places. If anything I would say that Pinterest is keeping up with the growing creative and visual needs of the wedding industry.”

In my experience of looking through wedding pins on Pinterest — which, if anyone asks, I only do once a week — I’ve learned that there are too many ideas out there to count. And while I don’t need to copy the photos exactly, they at least get my mind thinking about ways to incorporate Mason jars into my future wedding. Hodges agrees with me, saying that Pinterest helps brides to organize their ideas in order to show their vendors what exactly they’re looking for. “Verbally communicating creative ideas can be tricky if you have never done it before,” she says. That’s where Pinterest comes in handy.

So, girls, don’t be ashamed if you have a wedding board and no ring. Don’t even be ashamed if you have a wedding board and no man.

I’m almost positive that you will thank yourself later for having pinned that photo of the perfect centerpiece.