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david atlanta magazine

davidatlanta ’awlins

aste of New Orleans ere in Atlanta.

Q

1874 Piedmont Avenue 390-C Atlanta, GA 30324 Mon-Fri 9:30am-5:00pm Phone: 404.418.8901 Fax: 404.418.8901 ext. 7 www.davidatlanta.com mail@davidatlanta.com

publisher

Matt Neumann matt@davidatlanta.com

associate editor

Katie Stover stover@davidatlanta.com

theater & arts editor Tony Smithy tony@davidatlanta.com

graphic design

Matt Neumann Travis Barrón Katie Stover

photography

January 12, 2011

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14 brent star 20 momma mona 26 cover story 28 aiden leslie 32 la nota rosa 36 datebook 44 n’awlins 50 vagitarian 62 atlanta a-z

seen@

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50

guides

52 horoscopes 54 bartab nightlife guides 56 directory 74 adult classifieds 78 bitchsession

Brian Sawyer Katie Stover Tony Smithy

Matt Neumann Jesse Hancock Les Bouska

contributors

Katie Stover David Muller Luis Chiruco Jesse Hancock Lydia Lunch Tony Smithy Mary Beth Morrison

cover

Matt Neumann

RuPaul cover photo Mathu Andersen

cover story Torren Moore

classifieds Luka Simone

office manager Carson Abele

operations & finance Brian Sawyer brian@davidatlanta.com

sales & account management Steve Tyrrell sales@davidatlanta.com

marketing & promotions

Chip O’Kelley chip@davidatlanta.com Torren Moore torren@davidatlanta.com

national ad rep

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Opinions expressed by any writer appearing in this publication are not necessarily those of the staff, management, advertisers, organizations or persons appearing in this magazine. No Part of this publication may be reproduced by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopy recording or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. The mention, appearance or likeness of any person, business, organization, or event in this publication is in no way to be taken as any identification of the sexual, social or political orientation of such persons, businesses, events organizations, staff, shareholders or owners of such. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, errors or changes in information, events and schedules in ads, features or calendars. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE reserves the right to reject or cancel any advertisement submitted. All copy, text, graphics, photo’s and illustrations in submitted ads are published with the understanding that the person and business’ submitting such are fully authorized and have secured proper consent for the use of images, graphics, pictures, names, logos and testimonials used in such ads and that DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE may lawfully publish the same. By submitting such materials, the advertiser agrees to indemnify and hold blameless DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE from any liability resulting from the publication of any such materials or images.


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THINK MARDI GRAS. But A Bit Wilder.

Be surrounded with great food, music and fun with nonstop entertainment and an authentic New Orleans vibe at Harrah’s New Orleans. Located in the heart of downtown, get access to all the action, on and off the casino floor. The fun times keep on rolling, only at Harrah’s New Orleans.

SCHEDULE IN SOME WILD FUN: Gay Mardi Gras March 4 – 8

Easter Parade April 24

Southern Decadence August 31 – September 5

Essence Festival July 1 – 4 Halloween October 31

Entertainment schedule subject to change without prior notice. Must be 21 or older to enter casino and to gamble. Know When To Stop Before You Start.® ©2011, Caesars License Company, LLC.

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The Brent Star Report My take on…

‘White Atlanta’

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ow when I say “white Atlanta” you KNOW I’m talking about when it snowed last week! Whew! Talk about breaking the ice! Yes child, the snow shut this city down for a few days, but people did whatever it took to avoid ‘cabin fever’. For example, I decided to go for a damn walk in the snow at Piedmont Park to take pictures and stuff. It always amazes me how quick sometimes a thought becomes reality right before your eyes. Ok so what had happened was as I was walking through the snow at Piedmont Park, I couldn’t help but to marvel at how much fun those folks lined up at the top of the hill were having as they were “weeee weeee”-ing on those snow boards all the way down. I thought to myself, ‘damn I wished I’d better prepared myself for this and bought a snowboard… perhaps I will the NEXT time it snows’. Well, AS SOON AS I thought that, two orphan-Annie looking girls walked by and offered me to ride on their snowboard. Like an even bigger kid than them I was like “REEEAALLY?” This is better than snatching candy from a kid…cause they are GIVING it to me! Climbing up that hill covered in snow seems to have taken way longer than usual. It was a moment perfect for a Miley Cyrus song, you know where she says “there will always be another mountain” but she also says “it ain’t about how fast I get there, but it’s the CLIMB”! Lord I was praying I didn’t slip and TUMBLE down that hill. Finally once I get up there, this older lady, who was apparently their very concerned mom, looked at me and went “ah excuse me, how did you get that snowboard”? The devil wanted me to say “I stole it from those girls down there” as she gave me the “I’m about to call the police” look. Instead I calmly explained to her what the ‘T’ was, then she calmed down too. But child, when I looked down that super slippery icy hill, everything I ate earlier was ready to come out. Then ms snooty mom came over next to me and was like “I think you should slide down there on your belly…like my 12 year son. It’s nothing for him to do”. Of course, not wanting to be out done by a 12 year old, I laid on my belly (VERY uncommon for ME to do btw), and I slowly moved my feet to push me off and ------“ohhhhh shiiiiiiiit!!!!” were the only two words I could think of it as I went sliding down 14 davidatlanta

the hill 100 mph! After dodging that tree and checking my legs for feelings I was the happiest whore in Piedmont! THAT was fun! I couldn’t help but to think of how just a few minutes earlier I didn’t have a snowboard, but sometimes the very thing in life you want can come knocking on your day one day but you have to be willing to just. Go. With. The. Flow. By day three of the snow, I was starting to get horny…I mean, didn’t you actually FEEL the snow? It was so HARD! Usually I don’t complain about hard. Ok, so I was still determined NOT to catch ‘cabin fever’ so I went on another snow adventure. My goal today was to walk to Outwrite bookstore to chill and write this article. And honey let me tell you, while Starbucks, Caribou Coffee, Jason Deli are all closed and living in cricket land (meaning ghost town), Outwrite is in full swing and grooving to the constant sounds of “cha ching”s…mmmmm… sip...sorry, but this hot organic mint tea is the answer! Before I started, I decided to check my facebook page and was surprised at how many folks liked my snow pictures. In particular, they seemed to like the picture of the ‘snow tranny’ and the one that Project Q Atlanta decided to include on their website. It’s the one of me in the snow wearing ONLY longjohns, boots, and a scarf while sporting a bottle of Jim Bean and cheap frozen “party” pizza. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one in party mood according to Kitty LeClaw. She told me Blakes was packed every night! She said ppl could barely move around and they also were starting to run out of supplies. There were a lot of “snow zombies” walking around with nothing to do looking for crumbs, so hell yea Blakes was open! Well sorry folks, that’s my time for this week, but here’s a thought. You never know when life’s about to shut down for whatever reason, so when it hands you lemons, always make a margarita! Until next week, don’t read the girls, instead read The Brent Star Report! Where to catch Brent Star: Mondays at Einsteins (starting Jan 24th with RuPaul’s contestants Nicole Paige Brooks of season 2 and Mariah Paris Balenciaga of season 3), Saturdays at Tijuana Garage Thursdays and Sundays once a month at Burkharts and everywhere else that pays!


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ANSWER

Q U E S TI O N

Ask Momma Mona Dear Momma Mona, I’ve been in a relationship for 11-weeks, or was until New Year’s Day. I don’t know what happened, but all of a sudden he was not attractive to me anymore. It was like all these little insignificant things started pooling together and I just all of a sudden felt nauseated and had to get out. The way he left his belt unbuckled was no longer sexy, just sickenly lazy, and the way he leaned forward

Dear Perplexed, Could be a lot of things. Let’s go through a few and see what resonates for you. 1. Your rose-colored lens cleared up. When we first become attracted and infatuated with another, we tend to see that person through a beautiful rose-colored lens. The positives of that other seems to be clearer and more vibrant while the negatives are left unnoticed. Very simply, it is a hormonal change within our brain that does this so that we will bond with another. Adrenaline, dopamine, phenylethylamine, and norepinephrine are the primary chemicals involved in this love cocktail which can last up to 2-3 years if all love variables fall neatly into place. According to Helen Fisher, anthropologist and wellknown love researcher from Rutgers University, “The human body releases the cocktail of love rapture only when certain conditions are met and ... men more readily produce it than women, because of their more visual nature.” So the way it works is that passionate love gets us hooked on another and allows us to experience the absolute best with that person, for a period of time. Then, when the rose-colored lens starts to fade, we begin to see the others’ faults. If we have become committed to that person and the relationship, we accept those faults and continue on. Or, as in many cases, the rational lens scares the hell out of us and we run, like you did. For a longer and more thorough explanation of how love works, check out: http://people.howstuffworks.com/love.htm. 2. New lovers tend to put their best foot forward. While this is all well and good, one cannot continue with an act forever. Either they become that act, or they begin to slowly drop it. This only takes a couple of weeks for most people because they become comfortable and relax. Could be your guy had been acting for you and dropped the guise --- “seemingly all of a sudden.”

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while sitting cross-legged on the floor was dorky. Even the color of his skin, which was very intriguing in the beginning, now just looks grayish and ghoulish. My skin is creeping just writing about him! So why is this happening? I mean, this seemed to happen over night. A Perplexed Run Away

3. You two were together for a short while for a reason, not a season or life time. Momma Mona says to celebrate whatever you can! Think about the many “gifts” of this relationship as you move on. What did you like about him? Dislike? What did you like about yourself with him? Dislike? Did you learn something about yourself? Evaluate all the different feelings you’ve been through because of this relationship and learn from them so that your next relationship will benefit. At a couple’s seminar I attended many years ago, the speaker instructed us to consider our partner’s past faults like a bowel movement. Glance back, but don’t stare! 4. You are a commit-a-phobic. When you start to get close to another, it scares you, so you dwell on the negatives of that person to the point where you can easily rationalize the split up. Seek counseling as soon as possible so that you do not waste any more of your life and others! The movies make it seem romantic and endearing that people go through this life-long process before being able to fully commit to another. The reality is that it is an unnecessary waste of time to have a phobia that prevents you from enjoying the sweet nectar of deep and lasting love. So……what do you think? Where do you fit? Whatever your answer, Momma Mona encourages you to spend some alone time before jumping into another relationship. Zipperless sex is fine, but seeking a relationship out of it is different. The same speaker referenced above referred to this interim period as having stepped into shit and then spreading it all around. Instead, take time to clean up before moving on. Don’t know why he was so fixated on shit for his analogies, but it works. My Best, Momma Mona MommaMona@DavidAtlanta.com


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Potitics of Porn

By Mick Sandoval Love him or hate him, there

is no denying that Michael Lucas is a dominant force in gay porn today. He is the president of New York’s largest gay-adult-film company, Lucas Entertainment, and its biggest star. But arguably, it isn’t his films that are getting the most ink in media these days. Michael’s

controversial

commentary

on everything from pedophilia, barebacking and anti-Semitism in the gay community are what seem to grabbing the most headlines.

We spoke with

Michael to discuss why he has chosen to be so vocal about his views and how mixing politics with porn is affecting his porn empire.

What is rattling your cage? Is there an issue that you feel particularly adamant about today? I define myself as a Jewish atheist so no religious issues bother me. Politically, I am deeply worried about the situation in the Middle East, the increasingly aggressive posture of Iran and the growing worldwide hostility towards Israel. Here in America, my main concern is the stalemate of vitally important issues that comes from the absolute polarization between the two political blocks. It’s rare for an adult film star to use his celebrity as a platform to express his thoughts and opinions. Why have you chosen to be so open? I have always been vocal in expressing my opinions on issues I care about deeply, even opinions which are not so popular. If my popularity as a porn star gives my opinions additional resonance, then all the better. What has influenced your activism? Life. Growing up in communist class rooms in my native Russia, I directly experienced anti-Semitic discrimination and the hurt and the shame that comes from it. The security of a Jewish homeland where none of this will ever happen again has become deeply important to me. I also read history and follow current events and travel a lot. 26 davidatlanta

Did being gay in communist Russia add to your struggle? Yes. Russia is both anti-Semitic and homophobic, so I got it from both sides. Such discrimination will either break you or make you a fighter. Fortunately, I became a fighter. Has being so vocal hurt or helped your porn business? I actually don’t care. I speak out on certain issues because I feel strongly about them and that’s quite apart from my work as a businessman. Does it upset you to read the negative comments that are rampant all over the web? Some negative responses do upset me, some amuse me. The many positive responses encourage me. What do you think is the biggest misperception about you? That I am a cold and distant person. I am actually very warm, funny and sensitive. I care deeply about my friends and family. Michael, are you anti-Muslim? Yes. I believe all organized religion throughout history has been a force for the bad. I believe that


whenever religion has influenced politics, the world has become a worse place. Most Muslim countries prove this point. Their leaders are hypocritical and corrupt and its the people who suffer, especially the women and minorities. Is it a coincidence that the ten countries that still impose the death penalty for same sex relationships are all Muslim? Even in the worst days of the old Soviet Union, gay people were not sentenced to death. And, of course, I get personally mad at them whenever I have to take off my shoes at airport security. Do you truly believe the gay community is increasingly anti-Israel and anti-Semitic? In my mind, being anti Israel is just a new way of being anti- Semitic. And yes, the gay community does sometimes make unthinking alliances with supposedly progressive forces who think Muslim countries are nuts just because Israel exists. Is that why Lucas Entertainment is now sponsoring gay tours of Israel? I sponsor gay tours to Israel because Israel is a beautiful country and gays and lesbians have a wonderful time there. Everybody who traveled with me last year loved it. My next tour leaves May 11th. Queerty labeled your political opinions on Israel as virulent, frightening Islamophobia. Your reaction? I think if Queerty calls you names, its sort of a compliment. Do you support pedophilia? Of course not. This question probably comes from a column I wrote in The Advocate, which was misunderstood by some. In it, I made a clear distinction between pedophiles and child molesters. Pedophile inclinations are much more widespread than we realize but most pedophiles are in control of their feelings and never touch a child. I also made it quite clear I firmly believe that child molestation is a crime. What are your feelings about President Obama? I think he was a much better campaigner then a president. As a President, he appears weak and indecisive. Decisiveness is a very important quality in a President. What government leader has come closest to meeting your ideal? Winston Churchill; for his bravery when all Europe surrendered to the Nazis. I admire his perseverance because he didn’t let his country fall while the rest of Europe submitted. He united his country and was a real fighter. And he was one of the few people who knew Hitler’s true nature form the very beginning. How did your colleagues in porn react to your opposition to bareback films? I chose early on to follow my ethics and always promote safe sex in my films. Those who produce bareback movies don’t like that I so vocally condemn what they do. I actually think that their argument that

bareback movies don’t do harm because “porn is just a fantasy” is dangerous bullshit because porn does strongly influence community norms. What bothers you most about the current state of the adult film business? People who are illegally downloading my films. I consider it stealing. There is no difference between shoplifting clothing from a store and downloading an adult film for free. It costs a lot of time, hard work, and money to produce these films. In today’s world, where naked pictures are all over the web for free, is porn still profitable? Most free porn (except what is stolen) is actually crap. That’s good enough for some people but there are still plenty who enjoy really good porn made by professionals. When will you turn 40? Next year. March 10th, 2012. I think I am the only person in the industry who doesn’t lie about his age. How much longer do you plan to remain in the business? I have no plans to retire anytime soon. I actually consider 40 to be quite young. I also consider 50 to be young. It’s all about how you feel and how you make other people feel about yourself. Can you see any of today’s young stars following your footsteps and launching their own porn business? I am sure some will try, but I don’t see other companies opening. It’s very hard to build a brand in today’s environment. How has porn changed since you launched Lucas Entertainment? It’s become a complicated business. There is much more competition and many more different ways to reach the customer. It took forty years to go from 8mm reels to VHS tapes to dvd. Today, there are dozens of ways to deliver the product and new ones pop up regularly. You really need to stay on top of it. If you were elected President of Porn, what’s the first action you would take to clean up the biz? I would outlaw barebacking. What would your detractors be most surprised to learn about you? I don’t want to surprise them, so let me skip this question. Where would you like to see yourself in five years? Where I am now: in New York, with my friends, running my business. I’m a very happy person. Finish this sentence: I sleep well at night because… ...of Xanax. Visit LucasEntertainment.com. davidatlanta 27


Aiden’s World

“My ultimate mission as a performer is to share my story and experiences,” says out music artist Aiden Leslie whose first single in two years, “Worlds Away”, releases this month from VicTim Music Group. “I aim to inspire people to look closer at their lives and strive to be better. Oh, I also hope they’ll dance their asses off.”

by Trent Farber

an underground music world he didn’t know existed. It wasn’t long before he became a fixture in the New York nightlife circuit, frequenting clubs like Palladium, Tunnel, Twilo, Roxy, and Jackie 60 to listen and dance to after-hour DJs Junior Vasquez and Danny Tenaglia.

“I saw dance and the underground club Six days after graduating high school in scene as another form of theatre”, he explains. Ohio, Aiden Leslie moved to New York City to “Unscripted and self-expressive; an art form pursue his music dreams. in stark contrast to the strict structure of the “I was mesmerized by Elvis as a child,” he traditional plays I was performing in.”

remembers. “My parents were huge fans and The one element he found to be lacking in would always play his records. One morning I told my parents I wanted to be a singer like Elvis dance was the presence of strong male vocalists. and they said I could do anything I wanted. Their “A lot of DJs are simply not open to playing male artists on their dance floors. I think it’s time that belief encouraged me.” has changed. I want to be a part of the movement In New York, Aiden was cast in an off to bring more guys to the floor.” Broadway play. In between rehearsals, he would And he has. The Junior Vasquez remix of tag along with the show’s sound engineer and scour the shelves of Eightball Records, a vinyl Aiden’s “Love to Hate You”, a remake of the record shop that was popular with DJs in the Erasure hit, ignited floors around the world and mid-nineties. There, Aiden was introduced to introduced Aiden Leslie as a formidable talent. 28 davidatlanta


Leslie describes his sound as Hip-Pop with a strong dance influence. It is a true reflection of his life, he says, but admits it wasn’t always. In fact, the follow-up song to his successful debut was a song that Aiden describes as “unauthentic to his true self”. It is part of the reason for his two year absence from music. “It was not the direction I wanted to go in musically,” he admits. “Coming off ‘Love to Hate You’, so many opportunities were being offered and I was taken in by it all. Right away, I knew it was a mistake and I learned a hard lesson from it. A fat paycheck is nice, but it’s not worth losing your integrity and your voice.” The release also coincided with the hardest loss Aiden Leslie has ever experienced in his life: the unexpected death of his older sister. “She was my only sibling and the primary care-taker for my parents, who were both ill.” Aiden returned home to take care of his parents, where he fell deeper into despair. “I lost the passion for my music. My mind and soul were vacant. I remember feeling so low, I didn’t think I would ever return to music, even though I knew it was the answer to finding myself again.” Fate intervened. Aiden received a call from a producer, asking if he were available to work on a track. Seeing it as a sign and a way back to normal, he accepted the offer. “This time around, I said to myself, no matter what happens, I’m going to do this my way, with my vision. I didn’t care what came out of it as long as it was authentic to me.” “Worlds Away” is a song about life’s journey. Written by Aiden Leslie, it examines how people face struggle and the inevitability of change. It also reflects on the aftermath of struggle, reaching the light at the end of the tunnel and the realization of growth from adversity. “I’ve learned that in life there are hills to climb,” he says. “Its how you manage the fall down and the climb up from the hills that is key.” “Life is bittersweet. We all have a purpose to find. I am grateful to have found my purpose in music. Being given a second chance to share it with the world is a gift.” Visit http://www.myspace.com/aidenleslie

“I am grateful to have found my purpose in music. Being given a second chance to share it with the world is a gift.”


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La Nota Rosa

by Luis Chiruco

FINGIR CANSA P

ues ya estamos casi en febrero, que rapido se pasa el tiempo... así como quien no quiere la cosa. En plenos Carnavales, momento en el que mucha gente aprovecha para disfrazarse de aquello que le gustaría ser. Y hablando de disfraces, hoy he conocido el caso de un hombre que, para todo el mundo que le rodea, es el “perfecto” heterosexual: casado, con un hijo, con una vida modélica y un trabajo normal. Pero resulta que él, en su interior, sin su “disfraz” de hetero, se siente gay. Y la verdad es que lleva una doble vida con mucho mérito (porque para eso hay que tener huevos) pero con mucho engaño. No sólo un engaño a sí mismo, sino a los demás. Supongo que le compensará. Siempre todos los gays, en mayor o

menor medida, hemos estado acostumbrados a una doble vida, a saber qué podíamos decir o no decir en tal o cual circunstancia, a distinguir en qué compañías podíamos expresarnos y comportarnos con total libertad, y en cuáles no... Es algo que nos ha acompañado en algún momento de nuestras vidas. Hemos fingido por el qué dirán, por la sociedad, así en general, o en particular, por la familia y la gente que la rodea. Y la verdad es que lo de fingir cansa, pero ahí está cada uno para decidir hasta dónde quiere llegar. Yo decidí un buen día que sólo se lo diría a la gente que me importara. Los demás que piensen lo que quieran, o que se imaginen lo que les apetezca. Son muy libres. Ellos sí. Algunos de nosotros, tristemente, no lo somos tanto..Hay temas muy recurrentes, que surgen y vuelven a surgir, y llevan ya surgiendo un montón de tiempo... y ya cansan..

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Date Book

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Date Book

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N’awlins Get a taste of New Orleans right here in Atlanta.

N

’awlins is a little gem that you can find in the heart of East Atlanta. On weekend nights, it is a house full of booty shakin’ lovely ladies, but on weekdays MSR (My Sister’s Room) is a New Orleans style restaurant known as N’awlins. Frankie, the head chef, is phenomenal. I had the pleasure of dining at N’awlins recently. It was an exceptional experience. The staff was great, and the atmosphere was comfortable. I would definitely recommend N’awlins for dates, business meetings, or a solo meal. I really enjoyed eating my meal amongst my co-workers because I could actually carry on a conversation while we ate our meal. The music and lights are low, but the energy and flavor in this place is kickin’! Nawlins wouldn’t be what it is without one very special and talented person, Frankie. I had a great time getting to know Frankie, and talking about his passion-- food. Katie: I don’t understand how you and your wife are not obese, because I know I would be if I was eating amazing food like this everyday. Frankie: Testosterone definitely helps (laughs). When I was a professional boxer I used to weigh 300 pounds. When I stopped, and got back to working in a kitchen and started taking testosterone, I lost 80 pounds. Katie: In the Taste of New Orleans, what are the four dishes? Frankie: Red beans and rice with andouille sausage, jambalaya with andouille and chicken, shrimp creole, and seafood gumbo with crab, shrimp, crawfish, and crawfish tails. We do not put oysters in our gumbo because of the mercury levels and all that. Katie: How did you decide that you were going to be a chef? Frankie: I am Sicilian-Creole. Both sets of my

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Q

grandparents owned restaurants. One set had a restaurant for 30 years in Brooklyn, New York. The other set owned an Italian restaurant in the quarter, in New Orleans. I went to work rolling silverware when I was six years old, they didn’t have child labor laws back then (laughs), and I just worked my way up in the restaurant, and by the time I was seventeen I was executive chef. I was putting out full plate meals in between doing my algebra homework. I just went from there. When my grandparents got old, they decided that they wanted to sell the place. My dream was to make it bigger and better than it ever was in 30 years. My father, a general contractor, didn’t like cooking so much. He sold everything. I was discouraged. So I decided to backpack through Europe for six months, and I worked where anybody would let me work in their restaurant. I visited villages, and slept in barns. I didn’t care. I wanted to get to know all of the cultures, all of the taste profiles. I was born with a really sensitive palette, so I am able to really pick out all of the different foods. I can go to other chef’s restaurants and pick out their food-- some love me, some hate me. A lot of people have a sensitive palette, they just don’t tap into it. When I got back from Europe I went to CIA (Culinary Institute of America) in Hyde Park, New York. I got kicked out because I slept with the Dean’s daughter. Katie: (Laughs) Can we put that in? Frankie: Absolutely. When people ask, “where’d ya go to school?” I don’t believe in lying. I don’t believe in lying on any level, so to say that I graduated from CIA would be a lie. I went there for a solid year before I got kicked out. I had to go to court because if I didn’t own my own business now, and I was going up for an executive chef position, CIA would at least have to say that I attended their institution. That was a stupid move.


A I didn’t know who she was, but women lead you into danger. All the time. Then, after that, I went to the Hans Burie School of Chocolatier in Amsterdam. I was there for four months, and then I went to New York City where they have a satellite school where they do externships. I did a little externship with Godiva. Then I went out to San Francisco at Ghirardelli. After that, I said I needed to go home. I didn’t want to be up in the cold up north, so I went down to New Orleans to be with my family. I grew up in New Orleans a lot That’s where I settled. My very first job was a managing chef at one of the longest running Italian delis, Progresso, on Decatur Ave. They don’t exist anymore, but its cool. I got a lot of experience. Then I just bopped around for a while and I ran into Paul Prudhomme. Do you remember him? He’s a big, big guy that owns K-Paul’s in New Orleans. He looked like Don DeLuise. He wears a hat like this (points to his hat). He gave me my first hat like this, and he says to me, “Here ya go. That’s your signature, kid. Wear it.” He is my master chef. He taught me everything that I couldn’t get from school. After that I worked for Emeril Lagasse, Jamie Shannon, and then I got executive chef at Robert De Niro’s four star restaurant in New Orleans. Katie: So how was it working for Emeril? Frankie: He’s a jackass. I’m not scared. As a chef, his taste profiles are amazing, is food is really, really good, he cares, but he’s not a real people person (laughs). Look, you gotta tell it like it is in this world. If you don’t, you don’t get no respect. Katie: So what brought you to Atlanta? Frankie: Katrina. I used to own a restaurant in the lower garden district. It is a really beautiful area of New Orleans. I had it for a year and a half, and we were doing really, really well, and then Katrina happened. Where

1271 Glenwood Avenue SE Atlanta, GA 30316 (678) 863-5915 the garden district is there was a lot of restaurants and businesses lost. A lot of water damage. My house was literally four blocks away. The whole thing, everything, got wiped out. I came here (Atlanta). I got shot during Katrina in New Orleans. I have a cousin here in East Atlanta, and him and his lover let me come up and live with them and kinda be a house boy. You know? I had to take the dog for a walk in Piedmont Park, and cook. Katie: What’s your most unusual dish requested? Frankie: Honestly, I would have to say squingeli. I make it based with a habanero and chocolate sauce. It goes together beautifully. I call it “an orgasm on a plate”. It attacks your labido. Most people wouldn’t ever think to put both of those ingredients together. Katie: Is there anything you don’t like making? Frankie: Cupcakes (laughs)! I am a master pastry chef. I do make some cannoli cupcakes though, because that is a whole new element, but when someone asks me to make red velvet cupcakes, I say no. Katie: What’s the next step? What’s in the future? Frankie: Well, we are going to be busting through the twilight lounge and putting two french doors in. I will be opening up an Italian bakery right next door by next month. That’s the next step. It is definitely retail. I do wedding cakes, custom cakes. The space is large enough for me to do that there. We are also starting a N’awlins Youtube channel, because we have found that a lot of us are very colorful (laughs). One of my bartenders is a graduating film student. She wants to film me cooking dishes in the kitchen. It will bring focus to the village, My Sister’s Room, the restaurant, and this style of food in Atlanta. That’s where we are going. Eventually, I would like to have another N’awlins open in Atlanta. That’s our goal. Check out Frankie and the gang at N’awlins! It won’t disappoint. Keep your eyes open for the bakery opening, and for other future N’awlins locations.

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Vagitarian

the

W

by katie stover

hen I heard that it was going to snow in Atlanta last week I didn’t believe it, but I was naturally excited about the prospect of snow because I was born and raised in good ol’ Ohio. I logged on to Facebook and noticed that almost every status said,”Snowpocalypse”. Every grocery store was packed with people stocking up on grub like it was Y2K all over again, and my phone was ringing off the hook with requests from my Atlanta-native friends who were asking if I would be interested in being their personal driver for the week because of my experience with driving in the “elements”. I have to admit that I got quite a laugh out of all of this... First of all, I come from a town outside of Cleveland, Ohio that is in the Snowbelt. The Snowbelt is a “North American region, much of which lies downwind of the Great Lakes, where heavy snowfall is particularly common on predominantly eastern and southern shores of the Great Lakes. Near the Great Lakes, lake-effect snow is caused by cold air picking up moisture while crossing the lake and then releasing it as snow when the air cools over land. The lakes produce lake effect snow (or snowsqualls) and continuous cloudy skies throughout the winter

months, as long as air temperatures are colder than the lake water temperatures or until the lakes.” The average temperature in Cleveland during the winter months is approximately nineteen degrees. Let’s just say that I have seen my fare share of snow in my time; snow so dense and deep that you have to literally dig your car, or yourself, out of your driveway. Needless to say, I was not concerned about the snowstorm headed for Atlanta. Second of all, this is Atlanta. We are in the South. The average temperature in the winter in Atlanta is approximately forty-five degrees, freezing is thirty-two degrees, thus meaning that any snow that comes will eventually melt. Lastly, in the event that there were to be an incredible about of snow, or terrible winter weather should occur, it doesn’t matter how much driving experience I have in the snow and on the ice. Ice is ice, and there are inexperienced, distracted drivers on the road. I looked out the window, and I was pleasantly surprised when I saw the snow start to fall. It made me feel like I was back home again. There is this stillness and peace that I associate with the snow falling. It is like nothing else. I went out on the porch and took a deep breath. The cold air stung my lungs, and I listened to my


heart rate slowing down. I looked out onto the street, and focused my energy on the snowflakes that were illuminated by the streetlight. The snowflakes looked like fireflies as they danced through the atmosphere and went to rest on the now frozen ground. It was so incredibly peaceful outside; it was almost as if the snowstorm had transported the city to another dimension; somewhere outside the hustle and bustle. The next day, I set up camp at the house, which consisted of hot tea, plenty of warm blankets, good music, good food, and good company. I expected to be cooped up inside for a day-- not a week! Each and every morning I’d wake up to discover the same thing; no work, no driving, no nothing. By day two, I was already experiencing some cabin fever, so I decided to get out of the house and brave the treturous conditions. I went for a walk. I was amazed to find that the city had come together and that there was this real sense of community-- the kind of community that I have been searching for since I first arrived in Atlanta two years ago. Everything and everyone had slowed down. People were paying attention; paying attention to their driving, where they were walking, and each other. I had never seen so many people walking around midtown,

or in Piedmont Park. Couples holding hands, dogs playing, children laughing; there was such joy. Suddenly every Facebook status changed from “Snowpocalypse” to “Sledding at Piedmont Park!”, or “Another day off work. Time to build a snowman!” or, “Blake’s is still open!” I was incredibly happy last week. By the end of the week, the entire city was sick of all of the ice and snow; tired of businesses being closed, sick of staying at home with their kids or significant others, complaining, and ready to get back to work-- but why? I think that we should be coming together and enjoying each other each and every day. The ice did present some obstacles, but we all got to spend time with the ones that we love, take a break, and breathe. I am grateful for last week, and glad that I got to witness Atlanta covered in ice, and watch everyone come together. So when you are stuck in traffic this week, in a rush, and trying desperately to catch your breath... Breathe. Take a break, slow down, and take time to notice. Pay attention. You’ll get to where you are going. Better to remember the journey, than look back and have it be a blur. Questions or Comments? Email me at Stover@davidatlanta.com


Horoscopes

ARIES You’re moving so rapidly through life that it’s hard for you to remember what you’re supposed to be doing -- but don’t panic! You should be able to find a friend or loved one who can snap you back.

SAGITTARIUS If you have to make up work to do, go for it -- boredom is your worst enemy for a week like this one! You may have to clean something you just worked over or redo next month’s reports, but it’s worth it.

TAURUS Your impulsive nature comes out in a big way -- and might cost you! Try not to drop more than you can afford on any purchase, and see if you can get someone close to help you monitor your shopping.

CAPRICORN Focus on helping people this week -- they need you more than ever, and are much more likely to notice and appreciate your efforts on their behalf. It’s a good time to double the service.

GEMINI You are meeting people all week long -even if they’re all online -- and you’re loving the flow of interpersonal energy! It’s a great time to make new contacts of all kinds and to brighten lives.

AQUARIUS Your ideas are perfectly unique, and while a few closed-minded people don’t want anything to do with them, all the people who really matter should be more inclined to hear you out.

CANCER You need to get crazy this week -- even if it means breaking character at work or surprising your family more than they like. Once you’ve made it clear you get to be unpredictable, it’s back to basics.

PISCES You’re under someone’s spell, but it isn’t going to last much longer. That’s not to say that you’re going to abandon them any time soon, just that you should see things more clearly in the near future.

LEO You are not at your best on your own right now, so make sure that you can get some others to help you with whatever you do. Brainstorming and collaboration are especially auspicious. VIRGO You’re at your best working with tiny details, so go to town this week! You may lose yourself in a budget or spreadsheet that can yield untold riches to those willing to brave their dark terrors. LIBRA Try to open up more, even to those you don’t know very well. Your good energy is just right for letting them get to know the real you without anyone feeling awkward or vulnerable. SCORPIO You need to work with someone else’s resources this week, though that might not be the easiest thing in the world. In fact, it might start to get downright weird if they’re not fully compliant!

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THU R SDAY

3 Legged Cowboy - Family Poker 7:30pm Amsterdam - Showtunes 9pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - 1/2 Price Appetizers 11am-8pm-Blake’s Wild Card Show-11pm Burkharts - Family Feud 11:30pm Club 91 - Swagg Tuesday’s The Eagle - Rock Music-Free Pool with Tony Felix’s - Smirnoff Martini Night Friends on Ponce - Let’s Make A Deal Heretic - Time Warp 70s 80s 90s Music with Paul-Dance Floor Open 10pm Las Margaritas - Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30pm LeBuzz - Talent Search & Karaoke Mary’s - CJ Hosting Mary-Oke @ 10pm Mixx - Texas Hold’em Poker 7:30 - 10pm Model T - Always a Party! Wyatt, Gary & Elvis serve up their Best! Oscar’s - Show Tunes & Glee 8pm Swinging Richards - $5 Cover After Midnight Woofs - Free WII from 4:00 till close - Industry Night!! 3 Legged Cowboy - Intermediate 2 Step @ 8-9 Amsterdam - Get L.I.T. All Day Specials Bellissima - Karaoke 8pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - FEATHERS & FLESH BURLESQUE REVUE 11pm Burkharts - Karaoke 10:30pm Club 91 - The Main Event Cabaret & Talent Show Followed By DJ Rick The Eagle - 80s Music with Travis-Tim’s Black Jack Friends on Ponce - 3D Thursdays Disco & Dazzle with Diva Jasen Heretic - Boys Night Out-Mandatory Dress Code Party Or Go Shirtless-DJ Lydia Prim 10pm Las Margaritas - Karaoke 8pm LeBuzz - Hump Night & New Entertainer Showcase Mary’s - DJ Yes Sir Spins Rock 9pm Mixx - Texas Hold’em Poker 7:30 - 10pm Model T - Karaoke 9PM Oscar’s - Wicked Wednesdays 80s Music Videos 8pm Tripps - Taco Buffet 5pm Swinging Richards - 2-4-1 VIP Room Woofs - Woofs House Trivia starts at 8:00pm 3 Legged Cowboy - Dance Lessons @ 8-9 - Ladies Night Amsterdam - Rita’s & Smirnoff Tini’s Special Bellissima - ‘The Midtown Comedy Show’ / Open Mic at 9pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Texas Hold’Em Poker 7pm-The Shawnna Factor Show 11pm Burkharts - Princess Charles’ Fashionistas Show 11:30pm Club 91 - Customer Appreciation FREE ALL NIGHT The Eagle - Karaoke with Mikey-Tim’s Black Jack Felix’s - Karaoke with Brett & Tyler 10pm Friends on Ponce - HOT NIGHTS With Jasen and Donnie Heretic - AZUCA-Latin Night Hot Latin Tribal Beats with DJ Karlitos 10pm Las Margarita’s - Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30PM LeBuzz - Ladies Night Shows Mary’s - Themed Parties Reto DJ’s Swinging Richards - 2-4-1 Door & 2-4-1 VIP Room Tripps - Karaoke with Darlene 9pm Midtown W – Chris Coleman Presents “Indulge” 9pm-Midnight Mixx - Karaoke 9pm-1am Kamikaze Karaoke Contest 11-Midnight Model T - Robert & Michael serve up their Best! Woofs - Meet and Greet for “Gathering Time”! Daily Food Specials 54 davidatlanta

FR I D AY SAT U R D AY

Amsterdam - Video Request Night - Industry Night 9pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Drag On The Edge Show 11pm Burkharts - Karaoke 10:30pm The Eagle - Comedy TV-Free Pool with Tony Felix’s - Free Pool Friends on Ponce - Afternoons with Jasen 2pm Frogs - $1 Tacos 6-9pm Heretic - S.I.N. Night with Brian - Dance Floor Open 10pm Jungle - Stars of the Century Show 11pm Las Margaritas -Dragamundo (formerly Dragamaki) with Bubba D. Licious and guests LeBuzz - Man Dance Cabaret - GOGO Dancers - Drink Specials 8pm Mary’s - Open 5pm - DJ Va Jay Jay Spins Mixx - Live Pianist 9pm - 1am Model T - Service Industry Night! Discounted Drinks! Woofs - Texas Hold’em 8pm

SU ND AY

W ED N ESD AY

T U E S D AY

M O N D AY

Bartab Nightlife Guide

3 Legged Cowboy - Sugar Baby’s Trailer Park Revue-10pm Amsterdam - DJ Dance Party Bellissima - Live DJ Entertainment BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Kitty LeClaw’s Meow Mix Show 11pm Burkharts - Best Drag Shows In Atlanta 11:30pm Club 91 - It’s Bingo Bitch Hosted by: Auntie Snickers Chaparral - Got Leche? 10pm - Hot Latino Dancers The Eagle - Club Nights-DJ Dance Party Felix’s - Bartenders Ray & Cory - Serve it up! Friends on Ponce - Happy Time With Daniel and Terry Heretic - Special Guest DJs-Dance Party 10pm Jungle - Dragnique Talent Search Competition. Doors Open 9:30pm. Dance Party Follows LeBuzz - Dance Party & Show Mary’s - Open 5pm - Boys Room Party - Themed Party - Love DJ Mixx - High Energy Music Videos 9pm-1am Model T - Poker Night 9pm Swinging Richards - Open 6:30pm - $10 - Hot Naked Men and Big Cocktails Tripps Bar - Laser Show Dance Party with DJ Steve Lynch Woofs - Great Food, Drink & Good Times 3 Legged Cowboy - Dance Lessons @ 8-9 Amsterdam - High Energy Videos 9pm Bellissima - Live DJ Entertainment BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Jealouse’s Daring Divas Show 11pm Burkharts - Best Drag Shows In Atlanta 11:30pm Club 91 - RT Parties brings you Klimaxx Dance Party with Miss Sophia (go go dancers) DJ Maestro, DJ Rick, DJ Scrilla spinning on two floors all night The Eagle - Club Nights-DJ Dance Party Felix’s - Karaoke with Brett & Tyler 10pm Friends on Ponce - Open @ Noon with Bob Brewer Heretic - Special Guest DJs-Dance Party 10pm Jungle - Special Guest DJs Dance Party LeBuzz - Saturday Night Fever Show Mary’s - Dance Party Hot Mess 9PM Differnt DJ Every Week Mixx- Dance Party 10pm - 3am Model T - Free Tacos! All The Fixins! 3:30 pm to gone! Sanctuary - Sextasy Latino Night, Divas Show and DJ Dance Party Swinging Richards - Open 6:30pm - $10 Tripps - Cookout 2pm Woofs - Great Food, Drink & Good Times Amsterdam - Sunday Brunch 11:30am - 3pm Showtunes with a Twist 7pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Sunday Brunch 12-3-DJ’s Bill Berdeaux & Daryl Cox Spin All Night Burkharts - Sunday Spectacular Show 9pm Club 91 - Lions Den Legendary Sunday’s DJ Sedrick & DJ Brooks Felix’s - Bloody Mary & Mimosa Wallet Pleasers Las Margaritas - All You Can Eat Brunch 11AM-3PM Model T - Sunday Dinner 3pm Tripps - Complimentary Buffet 3pm-Karaoke 7pm Woofs - Great Food, Drink & Good Times

See Guide on Page 62 for Locations


ONE AND TWO BEDROOM HOMES STARTING AT $850 THE WORTHING COMPANIES CREATING QUALITY LIFESTYLES SINCE 1986.

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Health and Wellness Program: featuring on-site complimentary Spin, Dance and Kickboxing classes Hardwood and Concrete flooring available All granite countertops Stainless Steel GE Appliances Valet Dry cleaning and Housekeeping Available Hip monthly socials featuring live DJ Door to Door waste and recycling pick up Hotel suite for resident guests Complimentary wash, dry and fold laundry service and continental breakfast

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THE WORTHING COMPANIES 55 davidatlanta davidatlanta 55


CLUB ARGOS 1923 Walton Way-706-481-8829www.clubargos.net THE FILLING STATION @ The Parliament Resort 1258 Gordon Highway-706-828-7400 www.gayaugusta.com/thefillingstation

TE N N E S S E E

AUGUSTA

KAOS 2780 Riverside Drive – 478-621-0662 www.kaosmacon.com SYNERGY 425 Cherry Street – 478-755-9383

SAVANNAH BLAINE’S 13 East Perry Street-912-233-6765 www.blainesbar.com CHUCK’S BAR 305 West River Street-912-232-1005 CLUB ONE 1 Jefferson Street-912-232-0200 www.clubone-online.com UNADILLA The Lumberyard @ Lumberjacks Resort 50 Highway 230-1-877-888-1688 www.lumberjackscampground.com

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CHATTANOOGA IMAGES 6005 Lee Highway-423-855-8210 www.mirage-complex.com CHUCK’S 27 W. Main Street- 423-265-5405 ALLAN GOLD’S 1100 McCallie Avenue-423-629-8080f

MACON A L A B A MA

GEORGIA

Out of Town Directory

BIRMINGHAM THE QUEST 416 24th Street South-205-251-4313 www.the-quest-club.com OUR PLACE 2115 8th Avenue S. 205-715-0077 JOE’S ON SEVENTH 2627 7th Avenue South- 205-321-2812 www.joesonseventh.com

DOTHAN CLUB IMAGINATION 4129 Ross Clark Circle 334-792-6555

MONTGOMERY CLUB 322 322 N. Lawrence Street - 334-263-4322


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Atlanta A to Z

by David C. Muller

EPISODE THIRTY-TWO:

“H is for Holes” Once upon a time Luke went to a palm reader in Gwinnett County. The palm reader told him, “You must move to Atlanta, Luke, for you will find love there.”

Luke liked holes. He liked them hot, wet and tight. He himself kept his own hole smooth, soft, eager at the touch and, of course, well moisturized with a creamy lotion scented of cucumber and chamomile and labeled with a green title that said: “Jergens.” Like most of the homosexual men in Midtown, Luke pretended entry into his hole was exclusive; he didn’t just let anyone in like most gay people; at least that’s what he told guys he met at Burkhart’s, Oscars, Outwrite, Brushstrokes, the Eagle, the Heretic, Chapparal, Three Legged Cowboy, LA Fitness, Publix and at Taco Night at Tripp’s. Online, when trolling through the profiles on Manhunt, DudesNude, Adam4Adam and GayDar.com, Luke insisted he was “picky”, he said he was “top/versatile” and claimed he believed in “monogamy.” Luke told men he thought “sex is special” and that his ass was “precious” and, like most of the homosexual men in Midtown, Luke was willing, able and ready to bend over for the right guy even though he claimed he was “not an easy lay.” Luke knew it was crude and crass to be aware and cognizant of holes; it was downright disgusting! A hole is defined as an opening in a solid; that’s a very scientific definition of a hole. Other types of holes include manholes, glory holes, black holes and assholes. Hole is also the name of a small town in Norway and, in the military, they have fox holes and spider holes. Let’s not forget plot holes: plot holes sometimes appear in movies and in books; a recent examination of current trends in popular cinema indicate the existence of several plot holes in the Angelina Jolie movie “THE TOURIST” starring Johnny Depp. There are multiple plot holes in this series as well: there are a number of gaps and inconsistencies in the established logic and story surrounding our hapless hero, Luke, (remember 62 davidatlanta

the villain Mr. Pencil and Vesuvius St. Rene, that vampire who breezed into Atlanta in Halloween last year?). But, be that as it may, Luke was determined in this New Year to tighten up and fill all those pesky little holes, including his own. The recent snow and ice across Midtown Atlanta made Luke’s pursuit to fill these damned holes frigid and treacherous yet, as the mild temperatures returned to Atlanta, (at least for this week), Luke set out for the all-male, all-nude gay strip club located out on Northside Drive. Luke paid three dollars to park his car and five dollars cover to get in and then voila! Hot and sexy naked men danced before him, their bare arms and legs tangled around poles illuminated by shiny disco balls dangling from the ceiling. European pornography played on several flat screen TVs mounted to the walls; these films contained fraudulent subtitles: “Ah yes, your hole is hot and good.” “Umm, yum, yes. It is good to be fuck with you!” “Oh please, yes. Your cock is so big and hot.” “Your tight hole feels fine on my shafting rod!” Luke ordered a drink at the bar. The bar at Swinging Richards was fully stocked each night with only the best alcohol. They had a huge selection of wine, beer and shots and the hottest bartenders in Atlanta, just like their website claimed! Luke surveyed the bottles and rubbed his chin, did he want Crown Royal, Captain Morgan or Grey Goose? He was indecisive and, in the end, he ordered a shot of Jagermeister followed by a glass of Jose Cuervo and water.


Luke took a seat in a discreet corner; it had been years since he’d set foot inside Swinging Richards and oh how he had missed it! He sipped his drink with outwardly mild disinterest, Luke maintained a cool, detached air about him but, inside, his hormones raged wildly out of control as the veins of his penis filled with blood, hot as magma. Luke viewed naked swinging dick; four of them: white, black, Latino and “mixed” all on stage at the same time; and felt his rod stiffen. Luke was eager for penetration, he wanted to fill his hole and, from under that discreet veil of darkness in the corner, he scanned the facility in search of a worthy candidate for the job. Luke set his sights for “older” and, by “older” we mean “twenty years older.” In fact, the man Luke later approached at the Swinging Richards that night was over thirty years older than our hapless hero: “Dude,” Luke said, “you were, like, my age when I was born. What are you doing here in this place at this hour of the night?” This older man was a Southern gentleman, he spoke with deference and civility, he said, “I’m here looking for some hot thing like you to bedazzle with jewelry and trips to the Caribbean. I’ll give anything to anyone willing to go to bed with me tonight.” “My goodness!” Luke was shocked and surprised; he blinked his eyes and shook his head, “I don’t believe I’ve ever heard anyone be quite that direct about the depth of their desperation.” Luke smiled, “Would you care to buy me another drink?” The Southern gentleman told Luke he’d like to buy him for the evening. “Sorry, dude,” Luke was simultaneously offended and enticed by this older man; he had white hair and Luke said, “I’m not for sale. If you want to have sex with me then you need to tell me what you intend to do to my hole before you stick your dick up inside it.” “Good Lord, you are trashy, aren’t you?” “I’m hot,” Luke finished off his tequila, “you want me and I’m drunk so, like, let’s just go and get it on.” “Tell me, what is your name?” “My name is Luke. What’s your name?” “Pardon me, Luke,” the Southern gentleman rose up from his seat and said, “I must retire to the powder room to wash the remnants of excrement and feces from around my anus.” “Oh God, dude.” Luke scoffed, “That’s just gross.” “Does that mean you don’t want to get it on anymore?” “No, dude, not at all.” Luke frowned, “Not after what you just said.” “You’re an asshole, Luke.” The Southern gentleman threw his drink in Luke’s face, “Nothing but a prick-tease.” “Dude,” Luke told the old man, “I’m just not that into you.”

Tune in next week for EPISODE THIRTY-THREE: “I’m Just Not That Into You” “ATLANTA A to Z” would LOVE to hear from you! QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, SUGGESTIONS: We welcome your feedback! Send us an email at: AtlantaAtoZ@DavidAtlanta.com AND AtlantaAtoZ@Gmail.com


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WALK-INS WELCOME 1579 Monroe Drive • Atlanta, GA 30324 bubblesatlanta.com • 404.876.7745

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Protect Your Monster

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by Richard Marshall


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Bitch Session Just because I’m ignoring you doesn’t mean I’m a Are you asking me how often you should shave? tease... It means I’m IGNORING you. Cut down the trees but leave some grass.

If you want to see me naked, you’ll have to do it like all the other guys. Get me drunk first.

You say you’re bored of the gays in Atlanta? Just go out and make some new friends or something. Oh wait . . . you can’t. You have slept with them all. Will someone please make Snooki shut the f*%# up?

Stop “singing,” Chris Brown. We still think of you Don’t use earrings as a conversation starter. as the dick who struck a lady. Go home. Thank the gods Britney has some new music! We’ve missed you, Brit. Gimme gimme . . . more. What part of the damn I do not give a f*%# on my face do you NOT get?

I am so over the snow and ice. There’s only so much porn you can watch.

Is anyone seriously going to watch American Idol Reading the bitches is fun when it’s insulting, not this season? I don’t care what J-Lo or Steven Tyler complaining and preaching. Don’t like your label? have to say. Bring back Simon! And crazy Paula. Defy it. Don’t like the attitude around you? Change it. Now let’s get back to some good ol’ wholesome You make me want to cheat on you. trash talk.

You’re fifty years old and your dating someone fifteen years younger. He really only makes you look old and desperate.

Ok, the grass may be greener on the other side. But if you have a guy and miss being single, you’re an idiot. Please don’t tell me I smell of smoke when you’re breath smells of booze and ass.

Why do guys online chat me up, then stand me up, then attempt the process again months later? I’m a All gays need friends like Patti on Millionaire Match top boys, I never forget an asshole. Maker or Tabitha on Tabitha’s Salon Takeover for I can’t wait to get trashed, put glitter all over and be advice. Those bitches are fierce! slutty in honor of Ke$sha’s concert in April. Who “Vintage” is just a nice word for thrift store or am I kidding? I’ll just do that this weekend like usual. Salvation Army. You look ridiculous.

Gotta Bitch?

? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitc ch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? ? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitc ch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch?

Text it to 404.969.BTCH(2824) 78 davidatlanta


Monday Mayhem! Sponsored By 1077 Juniper St. Atlanta, GA 30309 404.876.7925 www.einsteinsatlanta.com

Mondays at 8pm starting January 24th. No Cover! • Drag Show featuring contestants of Ru Paul’s Drag Race! • 9pm Screening of Ru Paul’s Drag Race with the contestants! • Food and Absolut drink specials • As always, free valet parking! • Double loyalty points • 1/2-Priced wine bottles Tuesday & Thursday! • Atlanta’s best brunch and world-famous bloody mary bar!

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David Magazine | Atlanta Issue 627