Epwmay26 by David Lewins

FRIDAY, May 26 ISSUE 262

SAVING THE DAY Your essential guide to Love Saves The Day Plus: Russell Brand, Gangï¬&#x2020;a Granny, Dot to Dot and Cargo 2's grand opening

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YOUR COMPLETE GUIDE TO THE FOOD, THE FUN AND THE MUSIC AT LOVE SAVES THE DAY

DON’T MISS

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS WEEK’S BEST GIGS, SHOWS AND EVENTS

CHECK OUT BRISTOL’S MUSIC, THEATRE & COMEDY SCENES

THEATRE

23 EATS

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FASHION

GANGSTA GRANNY’S READY TO TAKE THE HIPPODROME STAGE BY STORM

LIST INGS

LINE UP FOR SUMMER’S HOTTEST NEW TREND - BIG, BOLD STRIPES

FESTIVAL

FILM

REVIEWS & CINEMA LISTINGS DESIGN SIAN DAVID DAVID LEWINS PIP O’SHEA

26.05

PREVIEW

LOVE IS ALL AROUND LOVE SAVES THE DAY RETURNS TO EASTVILLE PARK THIS WEEKEND, HERE’S A FEW THINGS AWAY FROM THE MAIN STAGE NOT TO MISS

ollowing the horrific events of the Manchester Arena attack, organisers of Love Saves The Day have confirmed the festival will go ahead as planned and say audience safety is paramount. Organisers say they are working with police and have robust plans to make sure the festival runs safely and brings some much-needed love and fun to thousands of people heading to Eastville Park. The festival will be headlined by Grammy-nominated Little Dragon on the Saturday night. Other acts on the bill for the first day include Mura Masa, Nao and Crazy P. On the Sunday, world-class dub-reggae band Fat Freddy’s Drop top the bill, supported by Kate Tempest, Shy FX and Kano. However, away from the main stages there are some weird and wonderful things going on. Here are a few to check out: ENTER THE RING FOR A BOUT OF EPIC PROPORTIONS This is a boxing ring like no other – mainly because you’re throwing shapes instead of punches. The Dance-Off crew will be hosting dance battles, duels and stand-offs throughout the weekend and if you’re feeling really brave, you can even take to the ring yourself – but be warned, competition is fierce. EAT YOUR WAY AROUND THE WORLD There’s an incredible selection of street food from some of Bristol’s best-known eateries to feast on this year – the likes of Biblos, Gopal’s Curry Shack, Al-Mac and Bagel Boy will all be making an appearance. DISCOVER A LOST TRIBE DEVOTED TO DANCE MUSIC

The Lost Gardens is a new festival area for 2017 and it’s promising some seriously cool things. You’ll be able to explore a lost civilisation devoted to dance music and if you’re quick, you’ll even spot dance battles taking place between two rival tribal factions.

locks inspired by your favourite musical legend – no matter how outlandish their look. If you feel like taking the rock star vibe one step further, you can also perform on stage at Horsebox Karaoke. It’s conveniently located next to the Cocktail Caravan, so if you’re in need of Dutch courage, you can ﬁnd it in abundance.

CONQUER THE BRYSTAL MAZE The Brystal Maze has been the stuff of legend on Bristol’s streets for years now – so it’s only ﬁtting festival-goers can enjoy a piece of the action, too. The cult treasure hunt will see teams race against the clock to complete the Brystal Maze across the festival site, with the chance to win entry to a hidden after-party. GET MARRIED AT THE INFLATABLE CHURCH This is quite possibly the un-holiest of matrimonies, but it sure sounds like fun. You can tie the knot with your dearly beloved (or a total stranger, we’re not judging) inside the festival’s Inﬂatable Church. Of course, the ceremony won’t actually be legally binding, but those memories will still last a lifetime. TRY NOT TO FALL OVER AT THE ROLLER DISCO This may be easier said than done after you’ve had a few, but we’re willing to give it a try. The Bump Roller Disco will feature resident DJs from Bristol’s best clubs, meaning you’ll be able to enjoy a rave while you roll. BECOME A REAL-LIFE ROCK STAR (SERIOUSLY) Why be yourself when you can dress up as your musical hero, right? Total Eclipse Of The Head are on hand to transform your hair into rock star

The calibre of this year’s headliners is strong, with the likes of Little Dragon, Fat Freddy’s Drop and Shy FX but there are some amazing Bristolian artists further down the bill. Here are ten to keep an eye out for...

EVA LAZARUS Singer Eva has provided vocals for a lot of big acts over the years, including the likes of Stanton Warriors and Jus Now. However, she’s now working on her own solo material and will put on an incredible main stage show on the Sunday.

MY NU LENG This bass duo have played at Love Saves nearly every year - and you only have to watch the crowd at their sets to see why. They’re one of Bristol’s most popular acts and their shows are always packed with energy. And they’re known as being some of the nicest guys on the scene.

ELDER ISLAND

Bristol acts not to miss

These guys are tipped for huge things and have supported the likes of Glass Animals on tour. They beautifully blend elements of R&B, dance and pop music across a myriad of instruments - you’d be silly to miss seeing them at a more intimate festival like this.

JUS NOW Although only one half of Jus Now hail from Bristol, they’ve become renowned in the city for their energetic parties and love of carnival rhythms. Their energetic sound will be right at home in Eastville Park.

DELI-G Deli-G has been a key player in Bristol’s music scene for more than 40 years, so expect nothing but the best when he takes to the Love Saves stage. He’s known for providing the best garage and house beats and has been involved in everything from building pirate radio shows to city soundsystems.

CLIPZ Drum ‘n’ bass hero Clipz has appeared at Love Saves for the past couple of years under his Redlight alias, but this is the first time in a decade he’s played as Clipz. He’ll be performing at the festival’s new stage, The Lost Gardens, and it’s sure to be a riot.

DJ DIE Die’s been on the Bristol music scene for more than 20 years, after working with Roni Size back in 1994. His beats cater to a wide variety of musical tastes, as embodied by his all-encompassing record label GutterFunk.

HODGE Hodge is renowned among Bristolian techno fans, but he’s been turning it up a notch lately. He’s been busy playing shows across Europe and has played with the likes of Julio Bashmore in recent times.

GARDNA Gardna is busy making a name for himself in dubstep, dancehall and grime circles with his tight lyrics. He’ll be performing with Kreed at Love Saves, who also feature Eva Lazarus and Parly B.

WOZ Although the Who Cares stage is packed with amazing bass artists this year, Woz is definitely one to look out for. He’s one of Bristol’s most exciting artists and his shows are always packed with intricate and interesting productions.

FOR THE COMPLETE LINE-UP OF ACTS AND TRAVEL ADVICE VISIT BRISTOLPOST.CO.UK FOR TICKETS AND TIMES VISIT LOVESAVESTHEDAY.ORG

THEATRE

gangsta’s

paradise Beware of Gangsta Granny, warns Natalie Banyard, as the cabbage-munching pensioner heads to Bristol with marvellous mischief in mind

atch out! The cabbage-crunching, criminal master-mind, Gangsta Granny is coming to Bristol. Bristol’s youngsters should grab their grannies (and parents!) and head along to The Bristol Hippodrome for this totally grantastic show. Birmingham Stage Company, the producers of hit show Horrible Histories, are bringing their world premiere of David Walliams’ Gangsta Granny to the Hippodrome from Wednesday, May 31 to Saturday, June 3. It’s Friday night and Ben knows that means only one thing – staying with Granny. There will be cabbage soup, cabbage pie and cabbage cake and Ben knows one thing for sure –

lence to prove it, Ben comes to realise that behind the grey and dowdy exterior lies a free spirit and he needs to treasure every bit of her. Walliams, who is one of the judges on the popular Britain’s Got Talent TV show and creator of the ground-breaking comedy series, Little Britain, is now the best-selling author for children in the country. David, who studied here at Bristol University, began his publishing career at Harper Collins in early 2008 with his debut novel The Boy in the Dress. Then, after writing two other popular stories, in 2011 he published Gangsta Granny, which was shortlisted for both The Red House Children’s Book Award and for the Roald Dahl Funny Prize. At Christ-

it’s going to be sooooooooo boring. But what Ben doesn’t know is that Granny has a secret – and Friday nights are about to get more exciting than he could ever imagine, as he embarks on the adventure of a lifetime with his very own Gangsta Granny! This magnificent, all-singing, all-dancing version of Walliams’ much-loved book is a must for all families and promises to have everyone from five to 105 crying with laughter. This unique show is both laugh-out-loud funny, with some brilliant comic scenes, but also has some very moving and truthful things to say about family relationships. Although Granny is a fiend for scrabble and a compulsive cabbage eater, with the (highly audible) flatu-

mas 2013, a TV version of Gangsta Granny was shown on BBC One with an all-star cast including David Walliams himself. The writer said of this new production: “I am over the moon that Gangsta Granny is coming to the stage. It’s the most popular of all my books and I am sure this production by the brilliant Birmingham Stage Company will delight not just children but their parents and of course grandparents. “It’s a fantastic show. And so much better than the book!”

GANGSTA GRANNY IS AT THE BRISTOL HIPPODROME FROM WEDNESDAY, MAY 31 TO SATURDAY, JUNE 3. CALL 0844 871 3012 OR VISIT WWW.ATGTICKETS.COM/ BRISTOL

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THE LIST COMEDY

Russell Brand COLSTON HALL: WEDNESDAY MAY 31

otorious, eccentric and controversial, Russell Brand almost needs no introduction. While attending the Drama Centre in Camden, Brand began performing stand-up at night, reaching the ﬁnal of Hackney Empire New Act of the Year in 2000. Brand has long been the king of controversy, being kicked out of drama school Italia Conti and dismissed from presenting on MTV for dressing up as Osama Bin Laden. He’s now added acting to his portfolio, having starred in the Hollywood movies St. Trinians, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Get Him To The Greek, and the remake of Arthur, which made him a name on the other side of the Atlantic. In RE:BIRTH, Russell Brand wrestles with some big questions while unravelling the matrix of modern media, politics, sex, fatherhood and death. His latest stand-up sees Brand trying to make sense of a life having just made a new one. See full listings for details.

Picture: Mark Douet

MUSIC

COLSTON HALL: MONDAY MAY 29

THEKLA: SATURDAY JUNE 3

Simple Minds

Coasts

till going strong since forming in 1977, Scottish rock band Simple Minds are returning to Bristol’s Colston Hall. Over the years, the band have scored a string of hit singles, and are best known internationally for their 1985 hit Don’t You (Forget About Me), from the soundtrack of the John Hughes’ ﬁlm The Breakfast Club. Other hits include Alive and Kicking and Belfast Child. Simple Minds Acoustic is the newest album, celebrating their career spanning collection of songs acoustically for the very ﬁrst time. On this album, the band have found a way of doing the acoustic thing without losing their essence. As a group who formed in the punk era and found their mojo through a shared love of Bowie, Kraftwerk and electronic dance, Simple Minds are not natural acoustic adventurers, but they have done a remarkable job here, adding fresh nuance to brilliant songs. See full listings for details.

aving marked their return with infectious new single Heart Starts Beating. Coasts will embark on a six-date UK tour this summer which sees them return to Bristol. Cementing themselves as one of the most exciting acts on the scene and picking up support from the likes of BBC Radio 1, the Guardian and DIY Magazine, Coasts will bring their internationally acclaimed set to a handful of the intimate venues where the band ﬁrst cut their teeth. Although only one record in, Coasts’ career has taken them to the very top of the game, including appearances at major festivals such as Coachella, Glastonbury, Reading & Leeds and Lollapalooza, as well as numerous sold-out UK, European and North American tours. With new music imminent in the form of a new record, Coasts are set for a huge 2017 that will take in extensive touring, building on 2016’s hugely successful self-titled debut album. See full listings for details.

THEATRE

Golem BRISTOL OLD VIC: MAY 31-JUNE 3

MUSIC

Dot to Dot VARIOUS VENUES: SATURDAY MAY 27

ome of Bristol’s best music venues will join together on Saturday to showcase the best up-and-coming artists in the UK right now. Dot to Dot festival returns to the city with dozens of acts who will play across Bristol’s O2 Academy, SWX, Bierkeller, Thekla, The Lanes, The Louisiana, The Stag & Hounds, Mr Wolf’s Brewdog, Fopp and more. The event is famed for showcasing up-andcoming acts with it previously giving exposure to household names such as The xx, Ed Sheeran, Mumford and Sons, The 1975 and Wolf Alice among others. Hotly tipped indie band Sundara are headlining this year’s Dot to Dot. The band played at Bristol’s O2 Academy earlier this year when they supported Two Door Cinema Club. Amber Run (above) will also be on playing, as will The Growlers whose latest album, City Club, was produced by Julian Casablancas from The Strokes.

The line-up also features Louis Berry, Honeyblood, Pinegrove, Cherry Glazerr, Tom Grennan, and late additions The Big Moon, Slow Readers Club, Jordan Allen and Ellie Rose. Music starts from as early as midday, and will go through to the early hours at some of the venues. Dot to Dot festival was crowned as best festival at last year’s Live UK Awards, and was celebrated for its unrivalled reputation for spotting and showcasing up and coming talent. Wristbands for the event cost £22. On the day, you’ll need to take your ticket to a wristband exchange, where you’ll also be given a free programme which has detailed set times, a map to all venues, food and drinks oﬀers across the city and band recommendations from local tastemakers. Venue capacities are regulated so if you are keen to see a particular band make sure to get to the stage with plenty of time to spare, to avoid disappointment.

he inventive theatre company 1927 have taken the folk story of Golem - the man who creates a creature out of clay to work for him – and turned it into a visually stunning fable for the 21st century. Located in a ﬁctional yet familiar world, where technology and the market economy have evolved to a point of transcending the boundaries of human control, Golem has become a must-have ingredient for a better life. But its very existence threatens the prospect of those who created it. This extraordinary production blends handmade animation, claymation, live music and performance, and cleverly and satirically explores one of the great questions of the modern world – who or what is in control of our technologies? Golem received its UK premiere in 2015 at the Young Vic, receiving huge critical and audience acclaim and described as “Kafka meets Little Shop of Horror”. Golem is at Bristol Old Vic from Wednesday, May 31 to Saturday, June 3. Call 0117 987 7877 or visit www.bristololdvic.org. uk

MUSIC

!!! (Chk Chk Chk) THE FLEECE: MONDAY MAY 29

!! is an American dance-punk band from Sacramento, California that formed in autumn 1996 from the former band members of The Yah Mos, Black Liquorice and Popesmashers. After a tour together, members of local Sacramento, CA bands Black

came out in 2000 as a self-titled album on the Gold Standard Laboratories label. This was followed in 2003 by the single Me and Giuliani Down By the School Yard, a lengthy track combining house beats with sinewy basslines, psychedelic

Liquorice and Popesmashers formed !!!. The band’s name was inspired by the subtitles of the movie The Gods Must Be Crazy, in which the mouthclicking sounds of the Bushmen were represented as “!” Their debut full-length record

guitars, and simple lyrics which quote the title song of the musical Footloose. They are commonly associated with the dance-punk movement and supported the Red Hot Chili Peppers on tour in 2006. See full listings for details.

THE LIST

COMEDY LISTINGS COMEDY AT JONGLEURS Fri May 26 and Sat May 27, Jongleurs Comedy Club, Pryzm, Canons Road, Bristol, 8pm/doors 7pm, from £13. 08700 111 960, www.jongleurs. com A great night out with top-class comedians including the highly contagious Mickey Sharma, sharp Scottish comic Stuart Mitchell and storyteller Jimmy McGhie.

GLADIATORS AT RIPROAR Fri May 26, Riproar Comedy Club, 15 Union Gate, Union Street, Bristol, 8.30pm/doors 6.30pm, £12/£20 meal deal. 0117 985 6767, www. riproarcomedy.co.uk Eight semi-professional acts perform for ten minutes each and you get to vote for the best.

COMEDY AT RIPROAR Sat May 27, Riproar Comedy Club, 15 Union Gate, Union Street, Bristol, 8.30pm/doors 6.30pm, £12/£20 meal deal. 0117 985 6767, www. riproarcomedy.co.uk A night full of laughs with West Country-born optimist Toby Brown, the dazzling Javier Jarquin, the intelligent humour of Paul Ricketts and man of many talents, Matt Price.

THE ANTICS JOKE SHOW Sat May 27, Café Kino, Stokes Croft, Bristol, 7pm, £5. www.cafekino.coop Laughs a-plenty from sketch-comedy double-act, Tom & Ollie and improv queen Imogen Palmer.

INSTANT WIT: THE USUAL SUSPECTS Sat May 27, Alma Theatre, Alma Vale Road, Clifton, Bristol, 8pm, £10. www. almatavernandtheatre.co.uk Bristol’s Instant Wit welcome you to an evening of songs, gags and general silliness – all of it based around audience suggestions.

FOOD&DRINK

Cargo2 opening party WAPPING WHARF: FRIDAY MAY 26

t’s been months in the making, but the second phase of Bristol’s hugely popular Cargo development is finally ready to open. And to celebrate, retailers are throwing a huge party. Restaurants and shops at Cargo 2, Wapping Wharf, are now officially open and they want to celebrate with the whole of Bristol. There will be free tasters and samples for people to try at the event tonight, along with exclusive offers and discounts, while organisers also say surprise entertainment is also planned on the night. Businesses have been slowly opening throughout May, and you will find The Bristol Cheesemonger, salt beef bar The Pickled Brisket, Josh Eggleton’s fish and chip venture Salt and Malt and Sholay Indian Kitchen, which comes from the team behind The Mint Room, now situated at the shipping container development. Other new openings include Italian-influenced New York diner Spuntino, new burger bar Lemonade,

STAND UP COMEDY NIGHT - THE ROAD TO EDINBURGH a swanky new cocktail bar from the team behind Brace & Browns, and a second restaurant from hugely popular Gloucester Road eatery Pizzarova. Stuart Hatton is a director at Umberslade, the developer behind Cargo. He said: “These celebrations will give the people of Bristol a chance to come down to this vibrant new quarter and check out the exciting additions to its retail scene, most of which will be open by then. It’s set to be a brilliant summer down at Wapping Wharf this year with all the shops, restaurants and cafés along Gaol Ferry Steps and Cargo 1 now open - and now Cargo 2 is joining this exciting new community.” Some of the freebies on offer at the launch include taco tasters from the Cargo Cantina and free souvlaki wraps from The Athenian. Gopal’s Curry Shack will also be offering a free samosa to the first 25 people through the door after 5pm. The Cargo 2 launch party will take place from 5pm-8pm.

Mon May 29 Tue, May 30, Smoke & Mirrors, Denmark Street, Bristol, 8pm, £3.50 advance, £5 on the door. www.smokeandmirrorsbar.co.uk Leading up to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival Smoke & Mirrors is hosting the very best acts on the circuit. On May 29, Sean Mcloughlin and Angela Barnes. On May 30, Sam Gore and Rob Mullholland.

RUSSELL BRAND – RE:BIRTH Wed May 31, Colston Hall, Colston Street, Bristol, 8pm, £29.56. 0117 203 4040, www.colstonhall. org Notorious, eccentric and controversial, Russell Brand needs no introduction. In Re:Birth, Russell wrestles with some big questions while unravelling the matrix of modern media, politics, sex, fatherhood and death. Join one of comedy’s fiercest talents as he tries to make sense of life having just made a new one.

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Take Brunel’s Great Great Take aa trip trip down memory lane as you travel along Brunel’s Western Railway. Railway. Enjoy the views from our comfortable carriages Western carriages and and be looked looked after after by by our friendly and attentive Stewards. be Stewards. The The route route takes takes you across across Somerset, around the beautiful Devon coastline you coastline to to Paignton ferry (included (included Paignton or or on on to to Kingswear, where you can catch the ferry in historic and and in the the price) price) to spend about four hours exploring historic picturesque Dartmouth. Premier Dining - Buck’s Fizz or sparkling wine with Full English Breakfast, and on the return a glass of Champagne followed by a 4 course dinner with coffee & chocolates Adult - £239 First Class Plus - includes coffee/tea & a selection of pastries in the morning and a Devon Cream Tea Adult - £159 Standard Class - Family Ticket £300 (2 Adults & 2 Juniors) Junior - £65 Adult - £105

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e r t a e Th LISTINGS

Starting this week TALES FROM THE TREES

Sat May 27, Theatre Shop, Unit 5 Queens Square, Clevedon, 2pm, £11. 0117 902 0344, www. tobaccofactorytheatres.com A terrific tangle of puppetry, storytelling, live music and comedy, with a theme that embraces natural history, folklore and ecology. A fun, family show for ages 5 and up.

THE TIME SEEKERS Mon May 29 to Sun Jun 4, Wardrobe Theatre, Old Market Assembly, West Street, Bristol, 11am, 3pm, £8, Under 3s free. 0117 902 0344, www. thewardrobetheatre.com Have you ever dreamt of seeing a dinosaur? Meeting a Roman or an Ancient Egyptian? Sharing tea time with a robot from the future? The Time Seekers is a thrilling journey through time where you take the steering wheel. After their epic space adventure in The Star Seekers, get ready to strap yourselves in as Alph, Betty and Gammo return with a brand new mission for three to eight-year-olds.

BRISTOL OPEN STAGE Mon May 29, Bristol Old Vic, King Street, Bristol, from 12pm, free. 0117 987 7877, www. bristololdvic.org.uk Last year, Bristol Old Vic celebrated its 250th birthday by throwing open its stage to everyone for the very first Bristol Open Stage. We saw over 100 Bristolian acts share their own creative work in a celebration of Bristol’s creative heart. This year, Bristol Open Stage returns for its 251st birthday and once again invited everyone in Bristol to get involved. Expect a fabulous mix of solo performers, amateur theatre groups, community choirs, stand-up comedians, artists and musicians.

MUCH ADO ABOUT PUFFIN Tue May 30 to Wed May 31, Tobacco Factory Theatres, Raleigh Road, Bristol, 11am & 2pm, £9. 0117 902 0344, www.tobaccofactorytheatres.com Join Bristol’s Open Attic as they traverse stormy seas and reckless tides to bring you this funny tale about a man all alone, a friendly puffin and a whole lot of fuss over nothing. A magical, nonverbal family show with exquisite puppets and a beautifully crafted score.

FANTASTIC MR FOX Tue May 30 to Sat Jun 3, Theatre Royal Bath, Sawclose, Bath, 7pm, 2pm Sat mat, £18.50 - £27. 01225 448844, www.theatreroyal.org.uk Boggis, Bunce and Bean, three greedy, smelly, horrid farmers hate the cunning Mr Fox. Mr Fox is smart, clever and rather fantastic, but he doesn’t realise how determined the farmers are to get revenge. Can he hatch a plan to save his family and friends? This new musical adaptation of Roald Dahl’s classic tale is family fun at its finest.

THE KEEPER OF SOULS

Street, Bristol, 7.30pm, 2.30pm Sat mat, £10 £26. 0117 987 7877, www.bristololdvic.org.uk Drawing on the myth of The Golem - the story of a man who fashions a creature out of clay to work for him - 1927’s Golem tells an original story that examines the relationship between an extraordinarily ordinary man and his Golem. A vibrant, innovative production suitable for ages 12+.

Tue May 30 to Wed May 31, acta, Gladstone Street, Bedminster, Bristol, 7pm, £2. 0117 953 2448, www.acta-bristol.com Beware the spirits who beckon you in. There’s no escape from…The Keeper of Souls. A-thrill-a-minute chiller from Who Cares Youth Theatre. Recommended age 6+.

SOMETHING ELSE

SIRENS OF THE SILVER SCREEN A MUSICAL CABARET

Thu Jun 1, acta, Gladstone Street, Bedminster, Bristol, 1pm & 3.30pm, £7. 0117 953 2448, www.acta-bristol.com This is the timeless story of a small creature who lives his life always trying to fit in but never does, because he’s Something Else. Then one day a stranger turns up who wants to be friends… But does Something Else want to know someone who’s not like him? A gorgeous adaptation of Kathryn Cave’s much-loved children’s book.

Tue May 30 to Sat Jun 3, Alma Theatre, Alma Vale Road, Clifton, Bristol, 8pm, 3pm sat mat, £11, £9 concs. www.almatavernandtheatre.co.uk Beth Burrows delves into the lives of the 20th century’s most iconic women - Judy Garland, Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe. This sisterhood of stunning starlets lit up the silver screen for decades and kept tongues wagging with their scandalous offscreen antics. These femme fatales live again as Beth takes on each infamous woman, performing their most loved songs and shedding light on the shadowy secrets that stalked their careers.

CAPTAIN BARNACLE PIRATE PANTO Thu Jun 1, The Matthew, Prince’s Wharf, Wapping Road, Bristol, 11am & 12.30pm, adult £15, 6-10s and concs £10, 0-5s £5. matthew.co.uk Join legendary Captain Barnacle, the Bristol pirate, for a one-hour trip aboard The Matthew. This pirate pantomime show features lots of pirate props, puppets, comedy and lashings of audience participation.

SEUSSICAL Wed May 31 to Sat Jun 3, Redgrave Theatre, Percival Rd, Clifton, Bristol, 7.30pm, £13.50. redgravetheatre.com Seussical is a fantastical, magical, musical extravaganza which brings to life favourite Dr Seuss characters, including Horton the Elephant, the Cat in the Hat, Gertrude McFuzz, lazy Mayzie and JoJo. The Cat in the Hat guides you through these enchanted lands making friends and learning lessons along the way.

WHAT’S THE MATTER Thu Jun 1, At-Bristol, Anchor Road, Harbourside, Bristol, 2.30pm family show, 7.30pm show for 16+, £10. www.at-bristol.org.uk Fast-paced theatre company The Last Baguette bring their sci-fi adventure show to the At-Bristol Studio. Exploring the strange world of quantum physics and featuring physical comedy, scientific slapstick and Schrodinger’s cat, this entertaining show will delight both scientists and non-scientists. There’s a matinee show for families and an evening show for 16+.

GANGSTA GRANNY Wed May 31 to Sat Jun 3, The Bristol Hippodrome, St Augustine’s Parade, Bristol, 7pm Wed, 10am & 7pm Thu and Fri, 10.30am & 2.30pm Sat, £19.00 - £24.50. 0844 871 3012, www. bristolhippodrome.org.uk It’s Friday night and Ben is staying with Granny. BORING! But what Ben doesn’t know is that he is about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime with his very own Gangsta Granny. David Walliams’ muchloved book is brought to vibrant life on stage.

SIRENS Thu Jun 1 to Sat Jun 3, Tobacco Factory Theatres, Raleigh Road, Bristol, Thu and Sat 8pm, Fri 6.30pm & 9.30pm, Sat mat 4pm, £16, £14 concs. 0117 902 0344, www.tobaccofactorytheatres.com Six women get to the core of what it is to be female in the western world at the start of the 21st century in this astonishingly brave, critically acclaimed and award-winning show.

SAID AND DONE Wed May 31 to Fri Jun 2, Wardrobe Theatre, Old Market Assembly, West Street, Bristol, 8pm, £10. 0117 902 0344, www.thewardrobetheatre.com Two women sit at a table at a wedding. They hate everyone at this wedding. They hate themselves. And, although they are the very best of friends, they probably hate each other. Darkly comic, with highlights of original music and cheesy pop, Said And Done is a snapshot into the lives of two women who are far too close.

On Now HAMELIN To Fri May 26, Alma Theatre, Alma Vale Road, Clifton, Bristol, 7.30pm, £10, £8 concs. www. almatavernandtheatre.co.uk Family. Belonging. Peer pressure. Social change. Shifting political landscapes. What would the rats do?

GOLEM Wed May 31 to Sat Jun 3, Bristol Old Vic, King

Hamelin is a new play devised by full-time students at The Big Act with writer and Bristol Old Vic Theatre School graduate, Matt Grinter.

MEDEA To Sat May 27, Bristol Old Vic, King Street, Bristol, 7.30pm, 2.30pm Sat mat, £9.50-£30. 0117 987 7877, www.bristololdvic.org.uk Medea will weave Euripides’ ancient world together with the modern day story of one single mother’s fight for the custody of her children.

WAITING FOR GOD To Sat May 27, Theatre Royal Bath, Sawclose, Bath, Mon-Wed 7.30pm, Thur-Sat 8pm, 2.30pm mats, £19.50 - £55.50. 01225 448844, www. theatreroyal.org.uk Jeffrey Holland (Hi-de-Hi!, You Rang, M’Lord?) and Nichola McAuliffe (Surgical Spirit, Coronation Street) lead the cast in this premiere stage production of the Bafta-nominated Waiting For God, which delighted television audiences in the 1990s. All the favourite characters from the original comedy series are re-imagined for 2017, facing the challenges that come with growing old disgracefully in the era of the silver surfer.

CRAVE To Sat May 27, Wardrobe Theatre, Old Market Assembly, West Street, Bristol, 7.30pm, 2.30pm Sat mat, £10. 0117 902 0344, www. thewardrobetheatre.com What happens when we lose love, possibly irrevocably? C finds herself at a crisis in her life. Trying to find hope and redemption, she sifts through fragments of memories, recounting trauma, conflict and pain. Set in an unidentified location, Sarah Kane explores love and loss in a rhythmic, form defying musical text. Part of Bristol Old Vic Theatre School’s Directors’ Cuts season.

LA CAGE AUX FOLLES To Sat May 27, Bristol Hippodrome, St Augustine’s Parade, Bristol, 7.30pm, 2.30pm mats, £17.90 £55.40. 0844 871 3012, www.bristolhippodrome. org.uk Tantalising and touching, this is a lavishly funny tale of unconditional love and family values boasts a show-stopping score that includes The Best of Times, Song on the Sand and I Am What I Am.

THE ISLAND To Sat May 27, Tobacco Factory Theatres, Raleigh Road, Bristol, 8pm, 2pm mats, £14, £10 concs. 0117 902 0344, www.tobaccofactorytheatres.com Two men stagger through days of crippling prison work, breaking free for nights of playful escapism. With just scraps from their cell, they prepare for a performance of Antigone in front of the prisoners and guards – an act of defiance from people who have lost everything. A life-affirming drama of immense scale and power, set on the island where Mandela was held prisoner.

c i s u M LISTINGS

Friday, May 26

BALFOLK WITH DANIEL & EMMA REID

DOT TO DOT FESTIVAL 2017

Folk House, 7pm, £10.50 adv, £12.50 on the door, www.bristolfolkhouse.co.uk The Sweden-based duo-couple perform eclectic songs, self-penned tunes and traditional material from both Sweden and the British Isles.

Various venues, www.dottodotfestival.co.uk This popular three-day music festival returns in 2017 to take over Bristol, Manchester and Nottingham. Dot to Dot has long been the barometer for acts that are about to break and 2017’s event will be no exception.

ROS CUTHBERT BAND Be-Bop Club, 9pm, £8, www.thebebopclub.co.uk Highly regarded singer Ros Cuthbert has been gigging in Bristol and beyond for 17 years. She runs a pop-up Jazz Restaurant near Bristol, to which she has welcomed some internationally known players including Pee Wee Ellis, Andy Sheppard and Iain Ballamy. An original, quirky visual imagination and thoughtful take on life is at play in her beautifully crafted songs.

ALL THE BEST FREAKS Thunderbolt, 7.30pm, £4 adv, £5 on the door, www.thethunderbolt.net The South West’s only tribute band to Marillion and Fish, playing all the best songs from Prog Rock’s finest bands.

SWANS Trinity, 7pm, £27.50, www.3ca.org.uk American post-punk band led by singer, songwriter and multi-instrumentalist Michael Gira.

999

ATLAS TRIO

Louisiana, 7.30pm, £10, www.thelouisiana.net One of the original punksters from the summer of ‘77, 999 recently celebrated their 40th anniversary and still possess all the frenzy and raw energy of the early days.

El Rincon, 298 North Street, Southville, 7.30pm, free, www.elrinconbar.com Fantastic new young contemporary jazz trio.

THE ROBIN REECE JAZZ BAND

ELVANA

Old Duke, 9pm, free, www.theoldduke.co.uk

Fleece, 7pm, £10 adv, www.thefleece.co.uk An Elvis-fronted Nirvana tribute band – what’s not to love? From the bowels of Disgraceland, Elvana tear through Nirvana’s back catalogue while splicing in grunged-up sections of the king of rock n roll’s finest moments.

JAMES TAYLOR QUARTET Tunnels, 8pm, £16.50, www.thetunnelsbristol. co.uk British four-piece jazz funk band, who have become renowned for their live performances, head to Bristol’s Tunnels. The legendary UK Hammond guru and his quartet are guaranteed to tear the roof off with their ‘60s and ‘70s-tinged jazz instrumentals.

OSIBISA The Lantern, 8pm, £18.27, www.colstonhall.org Formed in 1969, Osibisa fuse jazz, funk, Caribbean, R&B, Latin and African rhythms. This legendary band have made 20 studio albums and collaborated with many other artists, including Stevie Wonder.

JUNIOR BILL Mr Wolfs, 9pm, free, www.mrwolfs.com Drawing on a myriad of cultural influences, from Reggae to Punk, Bossa Nova to Rockabilly, Ragtime to Hip Hop, Junior Bill’s eclectic and educated streetwise sounds evoke the growing pains of a young urban South Wales.

Saturday, May 27 DOT TO DOT FESTIVAL 2017 Various venues, www.dottodotfestival.co.uk This popular three-day music festival returns in 2017 to take over Bristol, Manchester and Nottingham. Dot to Dot has long been the barometer for acts that are about to break and 2017’s event will be no exception.

LOVE SAVES THE DAY 2017 Eastville Park, 11am-11pm, £5.50-£93.50, lovesavestheday.org Following a triumphant, sold out fifth birthday, Love Saves The Day will return to Bristol for its sixth instalment. The two-day event showcases the leading lights of electronic and live music.

HOLYBOURNE SINGERS St Mary Redcliffe, 7.30pm Holybourne Singers will perform two of Mozart’s most wonderful works, the Coronation Mass and Vesperae de Confessore, often known as the Mozart Vespers. They will be joined at the Organ by Stephen King, Organist at Brentwood Cathedral. The concert will also feature the Holybourne Singers Chamber Choir who will perform Faure Requiem. The concert is supporting local charity Mothers For Mothers. The

!!! (Chk Chk Chk)

choir are also delighted to be joined by soloists from Bristol and Winchester Cathedral Choirs. Tickets are available from Bristol Old Vic Theatre 0117 987 7877 or hsboxoffice@gmail.com at £10 (with under 12s free and a £5 charge to students)

that are about to break and 2017’s event will be no exception.

TIM ‘RIPPER’ OWENS Bierkeller, doors 7.30pm, £15 adv, www. bristolbierkeller.co.uk Tim ‘Ripper’ Owens is without doubt among the most important metal vocalists of the past 20 years. His life story was immortalised in the film ‘Rock Star’ starring Mark Wahlberg. Tim famously went from fandom to stardom when he became the lead singer of Judas Priest, recording two successful albums and touring the world with the band. He currently is the lead singer of Yngwie Malmsteen’s Rising Force, Charred Walls of The Damned, Iced Earth and HAIL!. He also tours the world as a solo artist.

ALEX TAYLOR Bristol Fringe, Clifton Village, 8pm, doors at 7.30pm, £10, www.fringejazz.com Singer/song-writer Alex Taylor is one of the shining lights of Bristol’s renowned music scene and a troubadour of world-class standing. And it just so happens that he is the youngest son of jazz legends Norma Winstone and John Taylor.

STEREOIRONICS

ALVAREZ KINGS

Tunnels, 7.30pm, £8, www.thetunnelsbristol.co.uk The UKs number 1 Stereophonics tribute band and have been recommended to many by the original band themselves. What better endorsement?

Louisiana, 7.30pm, £9 adv, www.thelouisiana.net Famed for their energetic live shows and charismatic performances, the alternative, indie, pop band from South Yorkshire have been tipped for big things.

WORN OUT 45S The Besnard Lakes

L’ORFEO - MONTEVERDI 450

Pavillion Club, Longwell Green Community Centre, 7.30pm, Members £4/Guests £6, 0117 9322989

Colston Hall, 7.30pm, £8.50-£55, www. colstonhall.org Experience the full gamut of human emotions through the music of Monteverdi, performed as it should be heard by the world’s finest exponents of his music, Sir John Eliot Gardiner and Monteverdi Choir.

AURICULA RECORDS PRESENTS Thunderbolt, 7.30pm, £5 adv, £6 on the door, www.thethunderbolt.net Auricula Records Presents: Say Nothing, Polka Dot Socks, Summoned By Ash, Madcap, Abandoned Flaws.

FORGOTTEN REMAINS

NICK CAPALDI

Exchange, 7.30pm, £5 adv, www.exchangebristol. com Blindingly fast thrash metal influenced by bands like Slayer, Cannibal Corpse and Pantera.

The Old Bookshop, 9pm, free, www. theoldbookshop.co.uk Classic melodic pop rock songs with a nod to the ‘80s.

ARCTANGENT WARM-UP PARTY

JACK MAC’S FUNK PACK

Stag & Hounds, from 4pm, £tbc, www. stagandhoundsbristol.co.uk Sadly, this will be the last EVER public live event at the Stag and Hounds.

Old Duke, 9pm, free, www.theoldduke.co.uk

Sunday, May 28 Simple Minds

PARTING GIFT

LOVE SAVES THE DAY 2017

Thunderbolt, 7.30pm, £4 adv, £5 on the door, www. thethunderbolt.net

Eastville Park, 11am-11pm, £5.50-£93.50, lovesavestheday.org Following a triumphant, sold out fifth birthday, Love Saves The Day is back in Bristol for its sixth instalment. The two-day event showcases the leading lights of electronic and live music.

JEREMY HUGGESTT’S NEW ORLEANS UPDATE Old Duke, 1pm, free, www.theoldduke.co.uk

EDDIE MARTIN’S ONE MAN BLUES BAND

DOT TO DOT FESTIVAL 2017

Holybourne Singers

Various venues, www.dottodotfestival.co.uk This popular three-day music festival returns in 2017 to take over Bristol, Manchester and Nottingham. Dot to Dot has long been the barometer for acts

Old Duke, 9pm, free, www.theoldduke.co.uk

Monday, May 29 SIMPLE MINDS Colston Hall, 7pm, £38.70 to £106.42, www. colstonhall.org Simple Minds’ career has seen them be responsible for some of the most innovative and enduring anthems in rock music and are widely regarded as one of the best live bands in the world. Now they’re touring with their new acoustic sound. The synths are no more – but the Celtic soul remains.

HALLELUGENIA Mr Wolfs, 8pm, free, www.mrwolfs.com Hallelugenia is a duo formed in September 2015 in Bristol. Luca (lead singer, piano player and songwriter) and Giuliana (sound designer and dj). Also on the bill, DAVIID and Paul Armer

THE BESNARD LAKES Louisiana, 7.30pm, £12 adv, www.thelouisiana. net Canadian indie-rock six-piece from Montreal.

!!! (CHK CHK CHK) Fleece, 8pm, £12, www.thefleece.co.uk A highly original punk/funk/dance outfit from California.

JEREMY HUGGETT’S ALLSORTS Old Duke, 9pm, free, www.theoldduke.co.uk

Tuesday, May 30 CARL BARAT & THE JACKALS Thekla, doors 6pm, £12, www.theklabristol.co.uk The former Libertines and Dirty Pretty Things frontman/singer and lead guitarist returns to Bristol with his new band. After posting an ad on Facebook seeking potential members that drew thousands of interested musicians, he settled on the line-up of guitarist Billy Tessio, bassist Adam Claxton, and drummer Jay Bone to form The Jackals. The results, Let It Reign, arrived in 2015.

ROYAL TRUX Marble Factory, 7.30pm, £20.35, www. motionbristol.com Founded by Neil Hagerty (vocals, guitar) and Jennifer Herrema (vocals), American alternative rock band Royal Trux started out in 1987 but proved to be too eclectic for mainstream tastes and broke up in 2001.

 15

LISTINGS

The Maverick outsiders reformed for two reunion shows in 2015 and have played sporadically since then.

ELI WEST Wardrobe Theatre, The Old Market Assembly, 8pm, £12 adv, £14 on the door. thewardrobetheatre. com A magical, intimate, sit-down gig of great folk and Americana music from the Seattle-based singer and multi-instrumentalist.

SAINT SISTER Louisiana, 8pm, £8.25, www.thelouisiana.net The creation of Morgan MacIntyre and Gemma Doherty, Saint Sister blend soulful vocal harmonies, dreamy synth and electro-acoustic harp.

EDDIE MARTIN’S OPEN MIC NIGHT Old Duke, 9pm, free, www.theoldduke.co.uk

Wednesday, May 31 VINTAGE TROUBLE SWX, 7.30pm, £23.65, swxbristol.gigantic.com The sensational, soulful four-man band will be playing their big hits including Nobody Told Me and Blues Hand Me Down.

BIZARRE RIDE II THE PHARCYDE Fleece, 7.30pm, £15.40-£1980, www.thefleece. co.uk Founding and former Pharcyde members Fatlip and Slimkid3 along with producers J-Sw!ft and LA Jay (plus special surprise guests) will perform one of the greatest hip hop albums ever made - Bizarre Ride.

LAST HOUNDS Exchange, 7pm, £6, www.exchangebristol.com Midlands-based five-piece Last Hounds deliver an energetic hardcore punk sound, fusing influences such as Gallows and Letlive with a spattering of old school hip hop.

SLYDIGS Louisiana, 8pm, £8.25, www.thelouisiana.net From electrify stadiums around the globe to supporting rock legends The Who and claiming standing

ovations at every single show, this rock ‘n’ roll fourpiece have won over both audiences and critics.

SQUIDGE Thunderbolt, 7.30pm, £4 adv, £5 on the door, www.thethunderbolt.net An amalgamation of hard rock genres reminiscent of the ’90s, ranging from grunge, punk, and emo, is what sets Squidge apart from other contemporary rock bands. Formed in Bath 2015, Squidge wants to be at the forefront of the recent resurgence of alternative rock.

MOSCOW DRUG CLUB Bristol Fringe, Clifton Village, 8pm, doors at 7.30pm, £12, www.fringejazz.com Combining their original material with songs by the likes of Jacques Brel, Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits & Bertolt Brecht, Moscow Drug Club provide an intoxicating and intimate musical experience.

DEATH VALLEY GIRLS

Moscow Drug Club

The Crofters Rights, 7pm, croftersrights.co.uk

CELESTINE Old Duke, 9pm, free, www.theoldduke.co.uk

Thursday, June 1 THE THYME MACHINE Café Kino, Stokes Croft, 8pm, £7 adv, £8 on the door, www.cafekino.coop The Thyme Machine are a jingly-jangly indie pop band based in Lancaster and Morecambe who sound like the love children of Half Man Half Biscuit, John Shuttleworth and The Wedding Present. With songs such as I’m in Love with the Girl in the Argos Catalogue and Wear Your Favourite Jumper, this is not to be missed.

3 Daft Monkeys

3 DAFT MONKEYS Fleece, 7.30pm, £8.80, www.thefleece.co.uk Festival favourites from Cornwall bring their unique world-influenced folk music to Bristol’s The Fleece.

EIVOR

IAN M PERRY

active African orchestra.

Bristol Fringe, Clifton Village, 8pm, doors at 7.30pm, £4, www.fringejazz.com Singer-songwriter and poet Ian M Perry creates richly imaginative and soulful songs.

COURAGE MY LOVE

ORCHESTRE POLY RYTHMO

Louisiana, 7.30pm, SOLD OUT, www.thelouisiana. net Vocalist, instrumentalist and songwriter with a voice of rare beauty and warm stage presence.

The Lantern, 8pm, £15.05, www.colstonhall.org Reignited in full polyrhythmic flair five decades after its inception, Orchestre Poly-Rythmo is the oldest

Exchange, 7.15pm, £7.30, www.exchangebristol. com A pop punk trio from Ontario.

WE ARE PARKAS Thunderbolt, 7.30pm, £4 adv, £5 on the door, www.thethunderbolt.net Explosive indie rock from Bath.

FILM

ALSO RELEASED THIS WEEK

Johnny Depp reprises his role as Jack Sparrow for Salazar’s Revenge

Pirate tale still buoyant FILM OF THE WEEK: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: SALAZAR’S REVENGE ★★★✩✩ (12A, 129 mins) Johnny Depp, Javier Bardem, Geoﬀrey Bush, Kaya Scodelario, Brenton Thwaites, Orlando Bloom, Lewis McGowan. Directors: Joachim Ronning, Espen Sandberg.

he third and fourth voyages of the Pirates Of The Caribbean saga, At World’s End and On Stranger Tides, sprung leaks in their ramshackle screenplays and capsized under the weight of feverish expectation. After a six-year hiatus for long overdue repairs, the blockbusting series sets sail with two new directors at the helm – Joachim Ronning and Espen Sandberg – and Johnny Depp swabbing the decks in his familiar guise as salty sea dog Jack Sparrow. Pirates Of The Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge is a marked improvement and anchors the outlandish action to solid performances from two charismatic young actors, Kaya Scodelario and Brenton Thwaites, with simmering on-screen chemistry. Depp continues to ply his comic schtick with wide-eyed gusto and Spanish actor Javier Bardem, who collected an Oscar for his chilling turn in No Country For Old Men, is a lip-smacking phantasmagorical villain from the watery underworld. Action sequences are spectacular, including the hysterically overblown theft of a bank safe and a dizzying dance of death between Jack and a guillotine blade.

to the hiding place of the trident. The duo join forces and unexpectedly cross paths with Jack Sparrow (Depp). He is being pursued by spectral pirate Captain Armando Salazar (Bardem), who has escaped from the Devil’s Triangle and intends to exact revenge, aided by Jack’s old adversary Captain Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush). A little Depp goes a long way in Pirates Of The Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge. He makes merry with his treasure chest of physical pratfalls and garbled one-liners. Ronning and Sandberg keep a firm hand on the rudder and navigate a largely entertaining course between eye-popping spectacle and family feuds. Their film is advertised as the “final” adventure and it would be sensible to drop the mainsail here while the series is still buoyant.

The ﬁfth chapter has its pleasures but it’s not all plain sailing. The return of Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and another original character is misjudged, a central plot thread is disappointingly similar to another summer blockbuster, and the 129-minute running time feels excessive. A superﬂuous cameo for Paul McCartney as a fellow pirate also should have walked the gangplank. Twelve-year-old Henry Turner (Lewis McGowan) stows away on the wreck of the Flying Dutchman in order to be reunited with his father Will (Bloom). “This is my fate. You must let me go,” pleads Will, who is condemned to serve as captain of the watery vessel for eternity... unless his son can track down the mythical Trident of Poseidon. Nine years later, Henry (now played by Brenton Thwaites) searches for the artefact’s whereabouts on the island of St Martin in the Caribbean, where he meets plucky astronomer Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario), who is labelled a witch because of her unerring love of science. She possesses a diary penned by Galileo Galilei, which contains clues

VERDICT This could be the ﬁnal instalment for the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise, and new directors and great young actors have made this a movie worth seeing.

SPARK (PG, 91 mins) A planet of apes goes to war in writer-director Aaron Woodley’s otherworldly computer-animated fable, which is second-hand in almost every respect, including a flimsy plot that awkwardly melds The Lion King and Zootropolis with Ratchet And Clank. The simplicity of the animation coupled with subdued vocal performances, leave Woodley’s picture marooned in space, tumbling out of control towards a black hole of mediocrity. A brief prologue relates the destruction of the planet Bana at the hands of his “eternal malevolency” Zhong (voiced by Alan C Peterson), who unleashes a space kraken with the power to create black holes. A newborn called Spark (Jace Norman) is saved from oblivion by his self-sacrificing parents and the infant is spirited away to one broken shard of Bana by a robotic carer, Bananny (Susan Sarandon). At the age of 13, Spark steals a ship and makes a secret flight to the remains of his home planet, accompanied by cute cockroach Floyd. Subsequently, Spark encounters the Queen (Hilary Swank) and becomes a pawn in a life-or-death battle. Woodley’s script moves at warp speed, sacrificing development of two-dimensional characters at the altar of action set pieces. Gags miss more targets than they hit and a quartet of squeaking space cockroaches, which become Spark’s allies in adversity, owe much to the Minions from Despicable Me.

FILM Jason Drucker as Greg Heﬄey

A diary entry to forget NEW RELEASE: DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: THE LONG HAUL ★★✩✩✩ (U, 91 mins) Jason Drucker, Charlie Wright, Alicia Silverstone, Tom Everett Scott, Wyatt Walters, Dylan Walters, Owen Asztalos, Chris Coppola, Joshua Hoover. Director: David Bowers.

amily matters matter in the fourth installment of the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid series, based on the hugely popular books by Jeff Kinney. The cast of David Bowers’ pedestrian road movie may have changed for this perky franchise reboot, but the reliance on bodily ﬂuids of every viscosity and hue for easy laughs apparently never grows old. For 91 minutes, we are trapped with a dysfunctional clan, which allows their young son to relieve himself in plastic bottles while sitting on the back seat of the car rather than pull over and avoid spillages, and the lad’s humiliation. A belly full of deep-fried butter sticks from a county fair is projectile vomited at the screen and the titular tyke’s decision to hide in a motel room shower proves horribly misguided, when we are forced to listen to an unsuspecting guest making splashes in the toilet bowl on the other side of the shower curtain. Director Bowers, helming his third picture in a row, makes heavy work of preposterous interludes such as

ALSO RELEASED THIS WEEK WAR MACHINE (Certificate TBC, 122 mins) Inspired by journalist Michael Hastings’ book The Operators: The Wild And Terrifying Inside Story Of America’s War In Afghanistan, this Netflix drama comedy directed by David Michod explores the folly of conflict through the eyes of a high-ranking US officer undone by his own hubris. Four-star General Glen McMahon (Brad Pitt) is drafted into Afghanistan to command Nato forces. Aided by press adviser Matt Little (Topher Grace), McMahon embraces the role and his media profile with gusto, which includes important meetings with Afghan president Hamid Karzai (Sir Ben Kingsley). However, he is misguided in his actions and McMahon comes under unfriendly fire from one journalist’s noholds-barred expose of life on the front line.  War Machine is available to stream on Netflix and released in selected cinemas.

“The only connecting we’re doing is with each other!” she trills. Following their trusty satnav, the Heffleys careen from one mishap to the next, including a stomach-churning spin on a ride at a county fair and bruising exchanges with fellow traveller Mr Beardo (Chris Coppola) and his family. As the title suggests, Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul is a slog and there are lags between half-hearted giggles. Drucker brings likability to his perpetually unlucky lad, while Silverstone injects her well-intentioned yet naive mom with plentiful pep. There’s an aching predictability to the mawkish final destination of Bowers’ script, co-written by author Kinney, that feels contrived and emotionally hollow. Like the Heffleys, we’re glad when the cross-country odyssey comes to a screeching end.

the central character taking a dip in a hot tub full of cheesy snacks and emerging as a bright orange Oompa Loompa. This unfortunate soul is 12-yearold Greg Hefﬂey (Jason Drucker), who receives an unwanted gift in a children’s ball pit during a visit to a themed family restaurant with the rest of his clan. Video footage of his ordeal goes viral. Stung by his online infamy as Diaper Hands, Greg resolves to restore his tainted reputation by making a video with his online idol, Mac Digby (Joshua Hoover), who is due to attend a video gaming convention in Indiana. Alas, Greg is already committed to a Hefﬂey family road trip to his grandmother’s 90th birthday celebrations. “This is an unplugged road trip: no phones, no iPads, no internet,” explains his mother Susan (Alicia Silverstone) as she collects mobile devices from Greg, her husband Frank (Tom Everett Scott), eldest son Rodrick (Charlie Wright) and youngest child Manny (Wyatt and Dylan Walters).

VERDICT Predictable and gross – you’ll be glad when this movie comes to an end.

Brad Pitt, top; Sir Ben Kingsley, above, star in War Machine

FILM

Cinema listings

The Cube

Dove St South, Kingsdown. Tel 0117 907 4190. www.cubecinema.com MACHINES Tues 6.30, Wed 8.30

THE PEOPLE’S FILM: PARAGRAPH 175

16 Narrow Quay,www.arnolfini.org.uk NO FILMS SHOWING THIS WEEK

Cinema De Lux

Lower Castle Street, Bristol. Tel. 0871 220 1000. www.showcasecinemas.co.uk BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (PG) Fri-Wed 10.15 (s/t Sun), 1.15

COLOSSAL (15)

Fri-Sun 4.15, 7.05, 10.05

SPARK (PG)

Fri-Thurs 10.00, 12.20

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOLUME 2 (12A)

Fri-Sun 11.00, 2.00, 3.00, 5.00, 6.00, 8.10, 9.00, Mon-Thurs 11.00, 2.00, 5.00, 8.10, 9.50

Fri/Sat lates 11.30

ALIEN: COVENANT (15)

Fri-Sun 10.30, 11.00, 1.30, 2.00, 4.30, 5.00, 7.30, 8.00, 10.30, 11.00, Mon-Thurs 10.45, 1.00, 4.00, 4.30, 7.00, 10.00, 10.30 BOSS BABY (U)

Fri-Thurs 10.00 SNATCHED (15)

Fri-Sun 12.30, 2.40, 5.00, 7.20, 9.40, Mon-Thurs 2.40, 5.00, 7.20, 9.40, Fri/Sat lates 12.00am KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD (12A)

Fri-Thurs 10.25, 1.25, 4.25, 7.25, 10.25 BOB THE BUILDER (U)

Sat/Sun 11.00

THE HIPPOPOTAMUS LIVE Q&A (15)

Fri-Sun 7.00

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID (U)

Fri-Thurs 10.00, 12.20, 2.40, 5.00, 7.30, (9.40 Fri-Sun), Fri/Sat lates 12.00am PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN (12A)

Fri-Thurs 11.00, 12.00, 2.00, 3.00, 5.00, 7.00, 8.00, 10.00 Fri/Sat lates 11.00pm PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 3D (12A)

Fri-Sun 10.30, 11.30, 12.30, 1.30 2.30, 3.30, 4.30, 5.30, 6.30, 7.30, 8.30, 10.30, Mon-Thurs 10.30, 11.30, 1.30, 2.30, 4.30, 5.30, 7.30, 8.30, 10.30 Fri/Sat lates 11.30 KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD 3D (12A)

Fri-Thurs 9.30 BAYWATCH (15)

Mon-Thurs 10.15, 1.15, 1.45, 4.15, 7.15, 7.45, 10.15 PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 3D (12A)

Mon-Thurs 12.30, 3.30, 6.30 WONDER WOMAN 3D (12A)

Thurs 12.45, 4.05, 5.05, 7.10, 8.10, 10.15

WONDER WOMAN DH (PRIVATE HIRE THURSDAY) (12A)

Mon-Thurs 7.15

Cineworld

Hengrove, Bristol. Tel 0871 200 2000. www1.cineworld.co.uk BAYWATCH (15) WONDER WOMAN 3D (12A) WONDER WOMAN (12A)

BOB THE BUILDER: MEGA MACHINES (U)

Curzon

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN SALAZAR’S REVENGE (12A)

Thurs 8.00

Sat/Sun 11.00

Old Church Road, Clevedon. Tel 01275 871000. www.curzon.org.uk

Daily 12.00, 3.00, 7.00, 10.00

A DOG’S PURPOSE (PG) Daily (exc. Fri/Mon) 10.30

Fri 2.30, 5.30, 7.30, 8.30, Sat-Wed 11.30, 2.30, 5.30, 7.30, 8.30, Thurs 11.00, 2.00, 5.00, 8.00

CURZON SPECIAL: THE HIPPOPOTAMUS (15)

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: SALAZAR’S REVENGE (12A)

Fri 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 10.00, Sat/Sun/Mon/Tues 10.00, 11.00, 1.00 (s/t), 2.00, 3.00, 4.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.00, 8.00 (s/t Tues), 9.00, (10.00 not Mon/Tues/Wed), Thurs 10.00, 1.00, 3.00, 4.00, 6.00, 7.00, 9.00

Fri 12.40, Sat/Sun 10.15, 12.40, Mon-Thurs 10.20, 12.40

KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD 3D (12A) Daily (exc. Thurs) 7.20, 10.30

BEAUTY & THE BEAST (PG)

Daily (exc. Thurs) 10.10, 1.10, 4.15, Thurs 11.30

DETOUR (15)

Fri-Sun 7.10, 9.45, Fri/Sat lates 12.15

BOSS BABY (U)

Daily 11.40, 2.20, 4.55

Odeon

DAIRY OF A WIMPY KID: THE LONG HAUL (U)

Fri-Sun 7.20, 10.15, Mon-Weds 7.00, 9.45

Daily 10.05, 12.15, 2.30, 5.00, 7.15, 9.45

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN SALAZAR’S REVENGE 3D (12A)

BAYWATCH (15)

Daily 10.30, 11.30, 1.30, 2.30, 4.30, 5.30, 7.30, 8.30, 10.30, Fri/Sat 11.30

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: THE LONG HAUL (U)

Daily 11.45 (Sun s/t/), 2.15, 4.45, 7.15, 9.40, Fri/ Sat 12.00

Mon-Thurs 5.45, 8.40

SPARK (PG)

Daily (exc. Thurs) 11.10, 2.10, 4.50

THEIR FINEST (12A)

Fri-Sun 5.30 (s/t Sun), 8.20, Mon-Wed 2.45, 8.15

Fri 1.50, 4.10, 6.30, Sat-Wed 11.30, 1.50, 4.10, 6.30, Thurs 11.50, 2.10, 4.30, 6.50

SMURFS THE LOST VILLAGE 3D (PG)

Sun 7.30

Union St, Bristol. Tel 0117 929 0884. www. odeon.co.uk ALIEN: COVENANT (15)

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: THE LONG HAUL (U)

Avonmeads, St Philip’s Causeway, Bristol. Tel 0871 220 1000. www.showcasecinemas.co.uk

TAMPORO

Mon 10.30

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: SALAZAR’S REVENGE 3D (12A)

Showcase

Daily 10.05, 1.10, 4.10, 7.10, 10.00

BRING YOUR OWN BABY: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: SALAZAR’S REVENGE (12A)

Thurs 11.00, 12.00, 2.10, 3.10, 5.20, 6.20, 8.30, 9.30

Sat 10.00

Mon 7.00, Tues 8.15

Fri/Sat 4.30, 8.00, Sun 1.00, Tues/Weds 1.30 (Weds s/t), 7.30, Thurs 1.30

Thurs 1.10, 4.20, 7.30

SING (U)

KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD (12A)

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: SALAZAR’S REVENGE (12A)

Mon-Wed 12.30, 3.15, 5.00, 6.00, 7.45, 8.45, Thurs 12.50, 3.30, 6.10, 7.40, 8.50

Sat 10.00

LADY MACBETH

Wed 6.15

Arnolﬁni

THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE (U)

SNATCHED (15)

Fri 12.50, 3.10, Sat-Wed 10.30, 12.50, 3.10, Thurs 11.00, 12.50, 3.10

A DOG’S PURPOSE (PG)

Fri-Sun 12.30, 3.20, 6.10, 9.10, Mon-Wed 11.10, 2.10, 5.10, 8.10, Thurs 11.20, 2.20, 5.20, 8.20

Fri-Sun 2.40, 8.40, Mon-Wed 5.30

Fri-Sun 7.35, 10.15, 10.25, 1.15, 4.10, 7.05, 10.05, Mon-Thurs 7.25 (Mon s/t), 10.25

Fri-Sun 3.45, 6.00, 8.10, Mon-Wed 2.50, 5.10, 8.50, Thurs 5.50

Fri-Sun 11.40, 5.40, Mon-Wed 11.40

Fri-Sun 12.15, 3.00, 5.50, 8.40, Mon-Wed 3.00, 5.50, 8.40, Thurs 2.00, 4.50, 9.10

Sat-Thurs 10.00

KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD (12A)

Fri-Sun 11.05, 2.15, 5.10

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY 2 (12A)

ALIEN COVENANT (15)

SNATCHED (15)

KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD (12A)

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 2 (12A)

ALIEN: COVENANT (15)

KIDS: PEPPA PIG: MY FIRST CINEMA EXPERIENCE (U)

A DOG’S PURPOSE (PG)

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: SALAZAR;S REVENGE (12A)

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 2 (XLR) (12A)

Thurs 2.10, 5.20, 8.30

PIRATES OF THE GALAXY SALAZAR’S REVENGE (XLR) (12A)

Fri 1.10, Sat/Sun 10.40, 1.10, Mon-Wed 10.00, 12.30, Thurs 11.30

WONDER WOMAN (12A)

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 2 (12A) Fri 2.20, 5.20, 8.20, Sat-Wed 11.20, 2.20, 5.20, 8.20, Thurs 1.50, 4.50, 7.50

Orpheus

FAST & FURIOUS 8 (12A)

Fri-Sun 12.20, 2.40, 5.10, Mon-Wed 12.20, 2.40, Thurs 11.20

Northumbria Drive, Henleaze, Bristol. Tel 0845 166 2381. bristol.scottcinemas.co.uk PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: SALAZAR’S REVENGE (2D & 3D)

Fri 1.20, Sat/Sun 10.20, 1.20, Mon-Wed 12.00, Thurs 11.40

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: THE LONG HAUL (U)

Fri-Sun 4.20, 8.50, Mon-Wed 10.50

THE BOSS BABY (U)

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (PG)

Daily 2.05:2D, 5.15:3D, 8.05:2D

BOLLYWOOD: SACHIN: A BILLION DREAMS (12A)

Fri 3.50, 6.10, Sat-Thurs 1.30, 3.50, 6.10

KING ARTHUR (2D & 3D) (12A)

Fri 1.50, 4.50, 7.50, Sat/Sun 10.50, 1.50, 4.50, 7.50, Mon-Wed 1.50, 4.50, 7.50, Thurs 2.50, 8.10

Fri-Sun 2.15:2D, 8.15:3D

Fri-Sun 7.40

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 2 (12A)

ALIEN: COVENANT (15)

MALAYALAM: GODHA (12A)

Fri-Weds 8.30

JUNIORS: M4J: THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE (U)

Fri-Sun 5.10, Mon-Thurs 2.20

JUNIORS: M4J: SING (U)

WONDER WOMAN (12A)

THE BOSS BABY (U)

Sat-Sun 10.00, Mon-Thurs 10.10

Sat-Thurs 12.00

Sat/Sun 10.10, Mon-Thurs 10.00

Thurs 8.30

Fri-Sun 11.20, 2.40, 6.30, 10.20. Mon-Thurs 11.20, 2.40, 4.00, 6.30, 7.00, 10.05, 10.20

SPARK (XLR) (PG) Daily 10.00, 12.45

Fri-Sun 4.00, 7.00, 10.05

Daily 11.00, 2.00, 5.00, 8.00, Fri/Sat lates 11.00

WONDER WOMAN 3D (12A)

Mon-Thurs 12.45, 4.05, 7.10, 10.15, Fri/Sat lates 12.01

WONDER WOMAN (12A)

Thurs 11.00, 2.00, 5.05, 8.10

DETOUR (15) Mon 9.45

BAYWATCH (15)

Mon-Thurs 10.15, 1.15, 4.15, 7.15, 10.15

ALIEN COVENANT (XLR) (15)

Mon-Thurs 10.15, 1.15, 4.10, 7.05, 10.05

Vue

Cribbs Causeway, Bristol. Tel 0871 224 0240. www.myvue.com A DOG’S PURPOSE (PG)

Fri 4.35, Sat 1.50, 5.45, Sun 11.35, 1.35, 3.35, Mon 9.45, 12.50, 3.05, 5.25, Tues 10.55, 1.10, 5.50, Weds 1.25, 5.45

ALIEN: COVENANT (15)

Fri 12.00, 1.20, 3.40, 5.45, 7.00, 8.20, 9.40, 11.15, Sat 2.00, 4.15, 5.40, 7.20, 8.20, 10.20, 11.15, Sun 1.50, 4.00, 5.50, 7.00, 8.00, 9.10, Mon 2.05, 6.20, 8.10, Tues 6.00, 7.40, 8.30, 9.50, 10.50, Weds 2.50, 4.20, 5.50, 7.20, 8.40, Thurs 2.15, 8.10

BAYWATCH (15)

Mon 11.10, 1.10, 2.35, 3.15, 4.05, 5.20, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 9.40, 10.45, Tues 10.50, 1.35, 2.35, 3.55, 5.20, 6.50, 8.00, 8.40, 10.30, 11.10, Weds 12.25, 2.35, 3.45, 5.20, 6.50, 8.00, 8.50 9.35, 10.15, 10.50, Thurs 11.20, 12.15, 1.30, 2.35, 4.05, 5.20, 6.50, 8.00, 9.00, 10.10, 10.40

BEAUTY & THE BEAST (PG)

Fri 9.35, Sat 11.25, Sun 9.30, 11.15, Mon 9.25, Tues 10.40, Weds 10.50

BOB THE BUILDER: MEGA MACHINES (U) Sat/Sun 10.30

COLOSSAL (15)

Fri 3.10, Sat 10.30, 11.30

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: THE LONG HAUL (U)

Fri 9.25, 10.10, 11.00, 11.50, 12.50, 2.00, 4.10, 4.55, 5.40, 7.15, Sat 11.00, 11.45, 1.05, 2.20, 3.10, 4.00, 4.45, 6.00, Sun 10.45, 12.00, 1.25, 2.25, 3.25, 4.40, 6.00, Mon 10.50, 12.00, 1.20, 2.20, 3.25, 4.45, Tues 10.30, 12.00, 12.55, 2.25, 3.35, 4.25, 6.20, Weds 9.50, 10.35, 12.00, 1.00, 2.25, 3.20, 5.05, 6.10, Thurs 9.55, 11.15, 12.15, 2.05, 4.20, 5.10, 6.00, 6.40

FAST & FURIOUS 8 (12A)

Fri 8.50, Sat 2.40, 8.00, Sun 3.05, 8.50, Mon 5.30, 9.45, Tues 12.50, Weds 2.55, 10.45, Thurs 9.40

GOING IN STYLE (12A)

Sat 11.10pm, Sun 10.55pm, Mon 10.50pm, Tues 11.20pm

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 2 (12A) Fri 11.15, 12.10, 2.10, 5.15, 6.10, 8.00, 10.00, 11.05, Sat 12.00, 2.25, 3.50, 5.10, 6.20, 8.10, 9.30, Sun 12.00, 2.00, 4.50, 6.50, 7.45, Mon 11.50, 2.00, 4.55, 7.50, Tues 11.00, 1.20, 2.15, 4.30, 7.50, Weds 11.50, 2.00, 4.15, 6.40, 9.20, Thurs 5.05, 7.15

HIDDEN FIGURES (PG) Mon 8.00

KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD (12A)

Fri 1.55, 3.15, 5.50, 8.10, 9.15, 11.00, Sat 12.55, 4.55, 7.10, 8.40, 10.10, Sun 2.15, 5.10, 6.40, 8.30, 10.00, 11.10, Mon 6.10, 7.10, 8.30, 10.10, Tues 5.30, 6.40, 8.20, 11.00, Weds 6.20, 8.30, 9.50, 11.10, Thurs 7.50, 10.40

NT LIVE: OBSESSION (ENCORE) (15) Tues 7.30

PEPPA PIG: MY FIRST CINEMA EXPERIENCE (U) Daily (exc. Fri) 10.00

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: SALAZAR’S REVENGE

Fri 10.00, 10.30, 11.30, 12.30, 1.30, 2.30, 2.50, 4.30, 5.30, 6.30, 7.30, 8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.30, 11.10, Sat 10.30, 11.10, 12.35, 1.30, 2.10, 3.30, 4.30, 5.30, 7.30, 8.30, 9.00, 10.30, 11.10, Sun 10.30, 11.30, 12.25, 1.30, 2.30, 3.30, 4.30, 5.30, 6.10, 7.30, 8.10, 9.40, 10.30, 11.10, Mon 10.35, 11.00 12.25, 1.30, 2.25, 3.00, 4.30, 5.10, 7.30, 8.20, 9.10, 10.30, Tues 10.05, 11.35, 1.05, 2.05, 3.05, 4.05, 5.05, 7.10, 8.10, 9.00, 10.10, Weds 11.15, 11.45, 12.45, 1.15, 2.15, 3.15, 3.50, 6.00, 7.10, 8.10, 9.00, 10.10, Thurs 11.30, 12.50, 3.05, 6.10, 8.20, 9.35, 10.20

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: SALAZAR’S REVENGE 3D

Fri 5.05, Sat 7.00, 10.00, Sun 8.40, Mon 6.00, Tues 1.45, 4.45, 9.40, Weds 10.25, 5.10, Thurs 10.30, 1.40, 4.30, 7.40

SING (U)

Sat 9.45, Sun 9.45, 10.15, Mon/Tues/Weds 10.15

SLEEPLESS (15)

Fri 11.25pm, Sat 11.30pm, Sun 10.15pm, Mon 11.00pm, Tues 11.20pm, Weds 11.35pm

SMURFS: THE LOST VILLAGE (U)

Fri 11.45, Sat/Mon 9.30, Sun 9.15, Tues 9.35, Weds 11.00

SNATCHED (15)

Fri 9.45, 1.15, 3.25, 6.40, 8.40, Sat 6.30, 8.45, Sun 6.20, 8.20, 10.50, Mon 12.40, 5.50, Tues 5.05, Weds 8.20

THE BELKO EXPERIMENT (18)

Sat 11.10pm, Sun 11.30pm, Mon/Tues 11.00pm, Weds 11.45pm

THE BOSS BABY (U)

Spark

Fri 9.25, 11.25, Sat 10.40, 1.25, 3.35, Sun 11.00, 1.05, 3.55, Mon 10.25, 12.10, 3.45, Tues 11.50, 3.20, Weds 9.25, 12.10, 1.50

THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE (U)

GOLD (15)

UNLOCKED (15)

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 2 (12A)

WHISKY GALORE (2017) (PG)

Thurs 1.00

Daily (exc. Fri) 9.45

THEIR FINEST (12A)

Fri 10.55, 1.10, 2.45, 4.55, 5.40, 7.45, 8.45, Sat 10.20, 12.35, 2.25, 3.50, 5.10, 7.10, 8.05, 10.15, Sun 1.00, 2.20, 4.10, 5.40, 6.45, 8.10, Mon 11.45, 2.05, 4.15, 6.15, 9.25, 10.15, Tues 9.55, 11.05, 1.20, 3.25, 4.10, 7.25, 8.25, Wed 1.15, 2.45, 5.05, 7.40, 8.40, 10.40, Thurs 4.50

Fri 2.20, Sat 11.55, Sun 12.45, Mon 11.40, Tues 10.25, Weds 10.00, Thurs 4.15

UNLOCKED (15)

Sun/Weds 11.25pm

WHISKEY GALORE (PG)

KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD (12A)

Fri 9.35, Sat 11.35, Sun 9.15, 5.20, Mon/Weds 9.25, Tues 12.40, Thurs 12.25

WONDER WOMAN (12A)

Fri 12.55, 2.55, 8.00, 10.10, Sat 12.55, 4.50, 6.15, 8.15, 9.45, 10.30, Sun 2.45, 4.45, 6.15, 7.15, 8.30, 9.55, Mon 4.45, 7.05, 8.30, 10.25, Tues 5.10, 7.50, 8.40, Wed 5.15, 7.20, 8.10, 10.25, Thurs 3.05, 7.55, 9.55

Thurs 0.00, 10.10, 11.00, 12.00, 1.00, 1.20, 2.25, 3.00, 3.50, 4.35, 5.30, 7.30, 8.30, 9.10, 10.40

WONDER WOMAN 3D (12A) Thurs 7.00

NT LIVE: OBSESSION (ENCORE) (15)

PLEASE SEE WEBSITE FOR AUDIO DESCRIBED/SUBTITLED

Tues 7.30

PEPPA PIG: MY FIRST CINEMA EXPERIENCE (U)

Vue

Daily except Fri 10.00

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: SALAZAR’S REVENGE (TBC)

Longwell Green, Bristol. Tel. 0871 224 0240. www.myvue.com A DOG’S PURPOSE (PG)

Fri 10.20, 10.35, 11.20, 11.55, 12.40, 1.30, 2.15, 2.30, 4.30, 5.10, 5.25, 7.10, 7.30, 8.30, 9.00, 9.50, 10.30, Sat 9.50, 10.40, 11.10, 1.30, 2.10, 3.30, 4.30, 6.30, 7.30, 8.30, 9.00, 9.30, Sun 10.05, 10.40, 11.30, 12.30, 1.30, 2.05, 3.05, 3.45, 4.30, 5.15, 6.30, 7.30, 8.45, 9.10, 9.30, Mon 11.05, 11.20, 12.55, 1.30, 2.25, 3.05, 4.30, 5.10, 7.30, 9.45, 10.00, Tues 10.20, 10.50, 11.35, 1.35, 2.25, 3.05, 4.35, 6.50, 8.10, 9.50, Wed 10.25, 11.35, 2.00, 3.00, 5.35, 6.55, 8.20, 9.00, 10.20, Thurs 10.30, 11.40, 2.10, 4.20, 5.15, 6.05, 8.10, 9.40

Fri 5.50, Sat 1.05, 3.40, Sun 1.10, Mon 12.40, 3.45, 5.45, Tues 10.15, 1.00, 5.55, Wed 1.45, 5.50

ALIEN: COVENANT (15)

Fri 11.40, 2.05, 3.40, 5.50, 7.20, 8.10, 8.40, 10.10, Sat 2.00, 4.20, 5.35, 6.55, 8.00, 8.40, 9.15, Sun 1.55, 3.25, 5.05, 7.05, 8.15, 9.50, Mon 1.55, 3.55, 5.40, 7.45, 8.40, Tues 1.50, 3.50, 5.35, 7.35, 8.20, Wed 11.25, 2.15, 4.50, 7.30, 8.30, 10.15, Thurs 1.15, 3.15, 6.50, 8.20

BAYWATCH (15)

Mon 11.40, 12.30, 2.35, 4.10, 5.20, 7.20, 8.00, 9.00, 10.10, Tues 12.50, 2.35, 4.40, 5.20, 6.40, 8.00, 8.50, 9.30, Wed 10.05, 12.00, 2.35, 4.20, 5.20, 7.10, 8.00, 9.10, 10.00, Thurs 00.00, 11.15, 12.40, 1.30, 2.35, 4.05, 5.20, 7.10, 8.00, 9.00, 9.35

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: SALAZAR’S REVENGE 3D (TBC)

Fri 4.15, Sat 12.00, 2.55, 5.30, Sun 8.05, Mon 10.15, 6.05, 8.20, Tues 12.55, 5.45, 8.30, Wed 11.15, 1.30, 4.35, 10.45, Thurs 10.45, 1.40, 7.25, 10.20

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (2017) (PG)

Fri 11.10, 4.25, Sat 11.00, 1.25, 4.40, Sun 12.25, 3.35, Mon 10.55, 2.50, Tues 10.45, 2.10, Wed 11.05, 12.50, 1.55, 4.10

SING (U)

Sat/Sun 10.30

SMURFS: THE LOST VILLAGE (U)

Fri 10.30, 11.30, 12.20, 1.50, 3.50, 5.05, 6.10, 7.25, Sat 9.40, 10.25, 11.55, 12.45, 2.05, 3.05, 4.15, 5.45, 6.40, Sun 10.25, 11.40, 12.45, 1.45, 2.35, 4.05, 5.25, Mon 10.10, 12.15, 1.10, 2.15, 3.15, 4.40, 7.25, Tues 11.00, 12.20, 1.45, 2.45, 3.35, 4.25, 6.30, Wed 10.00, 11.45, 1.10, 2.10, 3.35, 4.25, 6.00, 6.50, Thurs 11.05, 12.55, 2.00, 4.15, 5.05, 6.00, 7.15

SNATCHED (15)

Daily except Fri/Sun 10.15, Sun 9.45, 10.15

SLEEPLESS (15)

Fri 11.00, sat 10.50, Sun 10.15, Wed 11.10

BOB THE BUILDER: MEGA MACHINES (U)

Fri 12.30, Sat 9.25, Sun 10.55, Mon 10.25, Wed 9.20

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: THE LONG HAUL (U)

Fri 1.55, 4.40, 8.15, Sat 2.40, 7.50, Sun 5.00, 7.55, Mon 5.30, 8.10, Tues 11.20, 2.00, Wed 10.10, 3.45, 10.50, Thurs 10.35

WONDER WOMAN (12A)

Thurs 00.01, 10.55, 11.55, 1.25, 1.40, 2.25, 3.25, 3.55, 4.35, 5.30, 7.00, 8.30, 9.10, 10.10

WONDER WOMAN 3D (12A) Thurs 7.40

Watershed

Canon’s Rd, Bristol. Tel 0117 927 5100. www.watershed.co.uk THE LEVELLING (15) Fri/Sat 5.50, Sun 3.10

MINDHORN (15)

Fri/Sat 8.20, Sun 5.40, Mon/Weds 3.10, Tues/Thurs 3.10, 8.20

THE RED TURTLE (PG)

Fri 3.10, 5.40, 7.40, Sat/Mon-Thurs 3.00, 5.40, 7.40, Sun 4.30, 6.30, 8.20

THE OTHER SIDE OF HOPE (12A)

Fri/Mon-Thurs 3.20, 6.20, 8.40, Sat 3.40, 6.20, 8.40, Sun 2.30, 5.00, 8.30

THE PIRATES! IN AN ADVENTURE WITH SCIENTISTS! (U) Sat 12.50, Sun-Thurs 1.00

COME THE REVOLUTION: I AM NOT YOUR NEGRO (15) Sat 1.00

COME THE REVOLUTION: A REPLY TO THE N QUESTION Sat 3.15

SUNDAY BRUNCH: REDS (15) Sun 12.00

THE HIPPOPOTAMUS (15) Sun 7.20

BRITAIN ON FILM: BLACK BRITAIN (12A) Mon/Tues/Thurs 6.00, Weds 11.00, 6.00

Wotton Electric Picture House

Fri 2.40, 6.35, 8.25, Sat 6.05, 8.25, 10.55, Sun 6.05, 7.45, Mon 1.20, 7.40, Tues 6.05, Wed 6.35, 8.15, 11.25, Thurs 10.35, 6.35 Wed 11.45

THE HIPPOPOTAMUS (15)

THE BELKO EXPERIMENT (18)

Fri/Sat/Tues/Thurs 7.30, Mon 8.15, Wed 8.30

THE BOSS BABY (U)

Sun 7.30

THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE (U) Daily except Fri 9.45

Fri 2.00, Sat 9.30, 12.15, Sun 10.05, 12.20, Tues 5.05, Wed 9.35

>18a Market Street, Wotton under Edge. Tel 01453 844401. www.wottoncinema. com MINDHORN (15)

Fri 10.15, Sat 11.40, 1.50, Sun 2.15, Mon 11.30, 1.50, Tues 10.30, 12.40, Wed 9.20, 12.20, 2.25, Thurs 10.50

FAST AND FURIOUS 8 (12A)

Sat 11.05, Wed 11.55

THE BOSS BABY (U)

Mon/Tues/Wed/Thurs 2.00 Listings correct at the time of going to press. Please check individual venues for the most up-to-date schedule

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FOOD REVIEW

Greek option falls short of the mark THE ATHENIAN CARGO 2, WAPPING WHARF

he Athenian was third over the ﬁnishing line in the race to open at Cargo 2, the second stage of the shipping container park at Wapping Wharf, but this Greek street food business arrives in Bristol with plenty of experience having several similar operations in London. As with all of the Cargo restaurants, it’s a modest space - just two containers bolted together - with an open kitchen and room for around a dozen diners, who can eat at the counter or at the solitary white table in the middle. Specialising in souvlaki - Greek wraps this is essentially a takeaway and the manager told me there were plans to use a delivery service, which seems to make good business sense. There are ﬁve different souvlaki wraps on offer in either ‘regular’ or ‘super’ size. If you don’t want to wrestle with a handheld wrap, you can ask for a deconstructed souvlaki in a brown cardboard box, which makes for easier eating and there’s less risk of tzatziki dip dribbling down your jeans. Prices start at £5.50 for a regular wrap and rise to £8.50 for a double meat and halloumi box. Options are: chicken and halloumi; pork and halloumi; lamb and beef burger and halloumi; double halloumi; grilled mushrooms and halloumi or double meat and halloumi. That’s a lot of halloumi, but apparent-

ly it’s handmade in Messinia, southern Greece, so a step up from the rubbery pucks you buy in the supermarket. There are also a couple of salads (£5 each) - a classic Greek salad and a dakos (Cretan barley rusk topped with ﬁnely sliced tomatoes, feta cheese, red onions and Kalamata olives dressed in oregano and Cretan extra virgin Olive oil). As well as the tzatziki yoghurt, garlic and cucumber dip, there are sides of tyrokafteri (spicy feta and red pepper dip) and melitzanosalata (smoked aubergine) - all £3 - and oregano fries (£2.50). Washed down with a bottle of Fix Hellas Greek beer, I went for the regular lamb and beef burger in a box (£6.50). It was certainly a generous portion, although the box had essentially been ﬁlled with seven triangles of pitta bread, a handful of (decent, paprika-coated) oregano fries, chopped iceberg lettuce and two scoops of cool, garlicky tzatziki and smoky, creamy smoked aubergine. The ‘burger’ was more like a small kebab

or sausage sliced in two. It was lukewarm and had the overworked, pappy texture of those cheap microwave sheekh kebabs you ﬁnd lurking in the fridges of small corner shops or petrol stations. For £6.50, I expected a lot more bang for the buck. There is certainly a market for Greek street food at Wapping Wharf but The Athenian might be more weather dependent than some of its neighbours. On a baking hot weekend lunchtime, The Athenian may rise to the occasion like an Olympian but on a wet mid-week evening, it was more like the kid in last place in the school sports day big feet race.

FOOD ★★✩✩✩ SERVICE ★★✩✩✩ AMBIENCE ★★✩✩✩ VALUE ★★✩✩✩ OVERALL ★★✩✩✩

MARK TAYLOR’S VERDICT It’s early days for The Athenian but there are countless places in Bristol serving better street food and competition will only increase. It needs to up its game before it runs the risk of becoming something of a Greek tragedy.

FOOD REVIEW

Italian café already one of the best

GROSVENOR CASINO 266 ANCHOR ROAD, BRISTOL

MURRAYS, 10 PARK ROW, BRISTOL

local institution since 1984, Murrays in Clevedon is still going strong and now the family have ﬁnally extended their award-winning deli/café brand to central Bristol. Alex Murray and his wife, Miranda, opened their new café and deli on Park Row just last month in what for a short period was the Lean Meals healthy food café. The Murrays have given the place a lick of paint and, thankfully, ripped out the fake green grass by the counter in the window. The result is a light and airy Italian café, deli and takeaway that’s ideally located close to Bristol University. Shelves of pasta, olive oil, freshly marinated olives, preserves, Artisan Italian breads and cakes form the deli part of this operation and there is 10 per cent discount for those customers who decide to take their food away with them, rather than grabbing one of the highly prized tables in the compact dining area. Open for breakfast, lunch, coffee and cakes, the emphasis here is as much on quality, seasonal local ingredients and the best imported from the family’s beloved Italy. There are sandwiches, paninis, salads, pasta dishes and a daily meat and ﬁsh special. Signature dishes include a ciabatta sandwich of fennel-roasted free-range Clevedon pork shoulder with caramelised ‘country garden’ chutney for £4.50, a lasagne of mushrooms and Parma ham with cream sauce (£8.50) and braised ox cheek, celeriac purée, peas and salsa verde for £9.50. You can wash it all down with Sicilian lemonade, West Country apple juice, or Italian wines and beers. Pop in during the morning and options include fried Italian plum to-

Cornish hake; inside Murrays, shown below

onions mixed with the razor-thin slices of salty, nutty cheese and young, sweet broad beans the size of a baby’s fingernail. It was followed by a ‘small plate’ of pork and beef meatballs (£4) - four firm orbs of herby meat on a slick of smooth, sweet tomato sauce and a slice of toasted crostini with a dribble of fruity olive oil. A main course of baked fillet of Cornish hake (£9.50) with thick, milk-white flakes was teamed with a tangle of chickpeas, meltingly soft red and yellow peppers and spicy Calabrian sausage which added spice and warmth. Tiramisu (£4) may have lacked the expected booze and coffee punch, but it was a well made and comforting classic with a pleasing bitterness from the chocolate countering the richness of the cream.

matoes on toast with basil or smoked salmon and scrambled eggs on wholemeal toast and spiced crushed avocado with heritage tomatoes and feta cheese on rye toast. The lunchtime menu includes several ‘small plate’ options for £5 or less. One or two of these would make for an ample light lunch - perhaps buffalo mozzarella, heritage Italian tomatoes and basil followed by ham hock terrine and homemade piccalilli. Stand-out salads include the Parma ham, mozzarella and ﬁg with balsamic dressing (£7.50), with fresh Devon crab, crayﬁsh tail, avocado and tomato mayonnaise (£6.50) among the pick of the sandwiches. I teed off with broad bean and pecorino salad with mint and leaves (£4), a bright, fresh, delicate dish that rather undersold itself as there were also slivers of fennel, basil and spring

FOOD ★★★★✩ SERVICE ★★★★✩ AMBIENCE ★★★★✩ VALUE ★★★★★

MARK TAYLOR’S VERDICT Top drawer café food conjured from high quality ingredients and served at prices aﬀordable enough to warrant regular return visits, Murrays brings a delicious slice of Little Italy to Park Row.

OVERALL ★★★★✩

I’m not really a gambling man but even I would put money on the fact the £1.50 breakfast at the Grosvenor Casino is the best value start to the day in Bristol at the moment. This was certainly the first time I had entered a casino at 9.30am on a sunny, Monday morning but I was surprised not to be the only person in there. As well as a couple of cleaners, there was a handful of ‘guests’ (these places try not to refer to them as gamblers) already at the tables and machines but there were also as many people in the restaurant section. Served from 8am-11am, Monday to Friday, the Breakfast Club offer is simply a standard cooked breakfast for £1.50 including tea or coffee, with additional items 50p each. That’s probably cheaper than any game in the casino and certainly gives the likes of supermarket cafés and McDonald’s a run for their money. I ordered my breakfast at the bar

and it arrived at the table within ten minutes, along with a tray of sauces, all of them spotlessly clean, and not sticky and crusty as is often the case in greasy spoon cafés. The plate was too hot to pick up and the food was piping, too. For £1.50, including a drink, you don’t really question things like the provenance of the ingredients and it’s probably a fair assumption that they haven’t been sourced from a local organic farm. For the price, it was a breakfast you couldn’t really argue with and the service was quicker and more eﬃcient than many upmarket restaurants. The sausage was ﬁrm and meaty, the two rashers of bacon perfectly cooked and crisp at the edges, the yolk in the fried egg was runny and the beans were glossy and plentiful.

VERDICT When it comes to the best value breakfast in Bristol, there can be nowhere else currently oﬀering a better deal.

RECIPE

MICHELIN-STARRED ATUL KOCHHAR SHOWS US HOW TO MAKE CURRIES IN MINUTES, AND TELLS KATE WHITING HE LEARNED TO COOK TO GET OUT OF CLEANING AND THAT HIS SON INSPIRES HIS RECIPES

tul Kochhar is reminiscing about the day he became the ﬁrst Indian chef to be awarded the gold standard for culinary expertise – a Michelin star – as head chef at Tamarind in 2001. “I remember as if it were yesterday... A journalist from the Evening Standard called and said, ‘You have a Michelin star’ and I said, ‘No, no, I don’t have a Michelin star’ and hung the phone up. Then he called back and said, ‘No, I was trying to tell you that you’ve got a Michelin star, you’ve been awarded one’ and I started shaking, I couldn’t believe it.” To cap it all, that evening Gordon Ramsay came to eat at the restaurant to celebrate achieving his third Michelin star: “He was eating my food to celebrate his third star with his wife and family. He came to the kitchen to congratulate everyone and he was so chatty. Obviously he was very happy for his third star, but he genuinely was very happy that we got the star as well.” Six years later, Atul, 47, was awarded a second Michelin star for his own restaurant, Benares. Despite all the acclaim, however, he’s now turning his attention to slightly more simple fare in his latest book, 30 Minute Curries. “Everybody expects me to write complicated books and I won’t deny it, I have done that. I wrote the Benares cookbook and each recipe has got six recipes in it. But I’m also a father and when I cook at home, I’m not cooking Michelin-starred food, I’m cooking everyday food.

“I’ve learnt shortcuts to put food on the table really quickly – there’s only so much time kids can hold out – so this book is to celebrate that. And also, [people say] Indian food takes forever, but it doesn’t. Anybody can do it, so I’m sharing my techniques of how you can do it very quickly. Every recipe actually comes under 25 minutes.” His book is movingly dedicated to his son (“my best friend”), 11-yearold Arjun, who inspires Atul to be inventive with food. “Arjun has strong likes and dislikes... One of his pet hates is broccoli, so I keep making it in different ways. Last weekend, I made chickpea burgers, so I put broccoli in there and told him if he can find it then he can get some Lego. He couldn’t trace it. “He believes that certain flavours work and certain ones don’t, so for example, I think carrot and ginger works and he says, ‘Little people don’t like ginger, it’s too stringy, too strong, there have to be better ways to use it’. So, he said, ‘Why don’t you make a paste of ginger?’ You get the flavour, but you don’t get the texture. It was interesting to hear this little person talk about food.” His daughter, Amisha, 13, is very different: “She has an incredible palate and she’s quite a good critic as well. When they both eat at Benares, my maitre d’ never asks them how the meal was, because he knows he’ll get detailed feedback.” Atul was born in Jamshedpur, India, and learned to cook from both his parents. “We were a slightly unusual Indi-

CURRY IN A

HURRY 26

30 Minute Curries by Atul Kochhar is published in hardback by Absolute Press, priced £26

an family – boys are normally made to look like gods and they become couch potatoes, but not in my house. My mum said from day one, everybody lives in the house so everybody has to [help]. I paired up with my oldest sister, we always cooked together, and my other sister and younger brother were on cleaning duty. I hated it when I had to clean up, I still hate it. So that taught me how to cook.” His favourite childhood food was a type of dumpling called Litti, which was stuffed with lentils and thrown in the hot ashes of a ﬁre for a few hours: “You dust the ash away and then dip them in a nice potato curry. I absolutely loved it.” He’s thrilled that Brits have long had a love affair with Indian food that is growing all the time: “I look at someone like Tom Kerridge, a quintessentially British chef, but he uses more coriander powder and cumin powder than I would ever use in my food. It’s heart-warming, it’s good to see that it’s opening up. I love it.”

Give it a try:

Atul Kochhar

PRAWN AND COCONUT CURRY (narkol chengri moli) (Serves 4) 500g raw peeled tiger prawns 3 green cardamom pods Fresh coriander leaves 1tbsp ghee or vegetable oil 2 cloves 1 dried bay leaf 1 cinnamon stick 1tbsp onion paste (see recipe, right) 1/2tsp red chilli powder, or to taste 1/4tsp ground turmeric 250ml coconut milk Sea salt Method Assemble all the ingredients and equipment before you begin. You

need a large saute or frying pan with a lid. Remove and discard the prawn tails, if necessary. Lightly crush the cardamom pods to loosen the seeds. Rinse and chop enough coriander leaves to make about one tablespoon. Melt the ghee over a medium-high heat in the pan. Add the cardamom pods and the seeds, the cloves, bay leaf and cinnamon stick, and stir until the spices crackle. Add the onion paste and stir it into the oil for 30 seconds. Add the chilli powder and turmeric and stir for 30 seconds to cook the spices. Watch closely so they

do not burn. Reduce the heat to medium and add the prawns and coconut milk. Season with salt and continue stirring for 30 seconds, or until the prawns turn pink on both sides. Take care not to over-cook the prawns. Adjust the seasoning with salt, if necessary, and stir in the chopped coriander just before serving.

ONION PASTE (Makes about 600g) 2tbsp vegetable oil 500g onions, coarsely chopped 100g (about 6tbsp) ginger-garlic paste (see below) 1tsp sea salt Method Heat the oil over a medium-high heat in a large saute or frying pan that is ideally non-stick. Add the onions, the ginger-garlic paste and salt, and stir frequently for 25 minutes, or until the onions are browned. Watch carefully towards the end of cooking so the mixture doesn’t catch and burn, which can happen very quickly. If they do burn, you’ll have to throw them out and start over – there isn’t any way to rescue them. Transfer the mixture to a food processor while it’s still warm and blitz to a ﬁne paste. Leave to cool completely, then store in a covered container in the fridge for up to four weeks, or freeze for up to three months.

GINGER-GARLIC PASTE (Makes about 225g) 2 large garlic heads, 75g each, separated into cloves and peeled 150g fresh ginger, peeled weight, coarsely chopped 2tbsp water Method Put the garlic cloves, ginger and water in a food processor ﬁtted with a chopping blade and blitz, scraping down the sides of the bowl as necessary, until a paste forms. This keeps in a covered container in the fridge for up to four weeks, or can be frozen for up to three months.

FIVE O’CLOCK SOMEWHERE

RECIPE

Strong, year-round sales mean the future’s looking rosy for the pink stuﬀ, says Sam Wylie-Harris

CLOUD CHASER COTES DE PROVENCE ROSÉ 2015, France (£17.95, www.31dover.com) This wine will dispel any thoughts that pinks are for picnics. Intense, with a soft, round sensuous palate, the sumptuous berry fruits are lined with apricot and peach accents and the ﬁnish is long and expressive.

MIRABEAU PURE ROSE 2016, Cotes de Provence, France (£12.99, Waitrose) Delicate fresh berry fruits and blossomy aromas.

CHATEAU CAVALIER CUVEE CASCADEL COTES DE PROVENCE 2016, France (£13, Marks & Spencer) This has an array of freshly crushed berry aromas and is full of juicy yellow plum and white peach flavours, with a fine thread of acidity on the crisp, clean finish.

L’ART PROVENCAL ROSÉ 2016, France (£9.99, www. laithwaites.co.uk) Light and zingy, but with enough wild strawberry fruits, currant and plum, dried herbal notes and a shimmering streak of minerality to keep you coming back for more.

Share it... GOAN SPINACH AND LENTILS (GOA DAAL PALAK) (Serves 4 as a sharing dish) 50g toor lentils (toor daal) 1 green chilli 1 small onion 1 tomato 2tbsp vegetable oil 1tsp black mustard seeds 200g baby spinach leaves 3tbsp frozen grated coconut, plus extra to garnish Sea salt Method Bring a large covered saucepan of water to the boil and assemble all the ingredients and other equipment before you begin. You

tomato with a pinch of salt, and continue stirring until the onion is softened. Turn the heat down and leave, uncovered and stirring occasionally, until the lentils have ﬁnished cooking. Rinse the spinach and shake oﬀ the excess water. Drain the lentils, then stir them into the saute pan. Add the spinach and frozen coconut, season with salt and stir-fry until the spinach wilts. When you take the coconut out of the freezer, set aside some for the garnish. Adjust the seasoning with salt, if necessary. Sprinkle with a little extra coconut just before serving – it will thaw in the residual heat.

also need a sieve or colander, and a wok or a large saute or frying pan. Rinse the lentils in the sieve with cold running water, then add them to the boiling water. Return the water to the boil and leave the lentils uncovered for 20 minutes, or until they are tender, but still holding their shape. Remove the stalk from the green chilli, if necessary, then slice the chilli lengthways. Peel, quarter and thinly slice the onion. Halve and slice the tomato. Heat the vegetable oil over a medium-high heat in the wok. Add the mustard seeds and stir until they pop. Add the green chilli, onion and

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The Production Exchange presents

JANE AUSTENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S

In a new adaptation by TIM LUSCOMBE

Directed by COLIN BLUMENAU Designed by LIBBY WATSON

MON 5 - SAT 10 JUNE Box Office: 01225 448844 www.theatreroyal.org.uk

BEAUTY

WEAR

SUNSCREEN

Stay protected this summer with the latest sunscreens for all occasions. Lisa Haynes shows you how to up your SPF game

that bit more thorough.

unscreen shouldn’t be just for heatwaves and holidays – over summer especially, you need to boost your sun protection factor (SPF) armoury. Luckily, the beauty world is making creams easier to apply (tick) and way more niche for your individual skincare needs (double tick). Yes, these sunscreens have broad-spectrum protection to guard the skin against UVA (ageing) and UBV (burning) rays, but the newest formulations are going that extra mile to make sun protection more bespoke. Meet the innovative new sun potions you need to know about this summer...

FOR BEACH BABES TRY: Vichy Ideal Soleil AntiSand SPF50, £18 (vichy.co.uk) No need to camp around the pool if you’re sand-averse with Vichy’s clever lotion. The lightweight formulation is easily absorbed with an ultra-dry ﬁnish that allows sand to be brushed oﬀ easily, so you can make sandcastles to your heart’s content.

FOR SKIN ZEN TRY: Eau Thermale Avene Cleanance Solaire SPF50+, £16 (Boots) When sunscreen and skincare combine... Step forward Avene’s forward-thinking lotion that actively ﬁghts blemishes. Cleanance Solaire contains an ingredient that inhibits the excess sebum common in acne-prone skin and protects existing blemishes from sun side eﬀects.

FOR SKINCARE ADDICTS TRY: Clinique Anti-Wrinkle Face Cream SPF30, £18 (clinique.co.uk) Trust skincare giant Clinique to come up with a sunscreen that simultaneously protects and de-ages. Its new AntiWrinkle Face Cream SPF30 includes a blend of antioxidant and repair ingredients to help strengthen and rebuild your skin’s moisture barrier as you bask in the sun.

FOR TAN SEEKERS TRY: Ultrasun Body Tan Activator SPF30, £28 (marksandspencer.com) Boost your bronze with Ultrasun’s new Tan Activator range. You still get a high SPF hit but the natural tan enhancer (BronzylTM) activates your production of melanin and accelerates the tanning process by about 40 per cent in 10 days, so you can spend less time chasing a tan.

FOR SPEED DEMONS TRY: La Roche-Posay Anthelios Anti-Shine Invisible Fresh Mist SPF50, £14 (Boots)

FOR GLOW-GETTERS

Shiseido’s sweatproof tint. Enhance your sporty look with the highprotection BB cream that’s light, dewy and won’t rub oﬀ when you’re putting in a Wimbledon-worthy performance on the court.

Go hands-free with La Roche-Posay’s new anti-shine wonder. The super-ﬁne, invisible mist gives you an even protection that’s easily absorbed, so there’s no need to rub in. Its patented molecule Airlicium leaves oilprone skin shine-free so you can spritz over or under make-up.

FOR SENSITIVE BITS TRY: Tropic Skincare Sun Balm SPF50, £16 (tropicskincare.com) Avoid lobster-red zones in awkward spots with Tropic Skincare’s transportable Sun Balm. The highprotection balm comes in solid form, so you can smooth over tricky areas like the nose, ears and feet to be

FOR SPORTY TYPES TRY: Shiseido WetForce Sports BB Cream SPF50, £32 (escentual.com) Outdoor workouts have never looked so chic, thanks to

TRY: Piz Buin Instant Glow Skin Illuminating Sun Lotion SPF30, £8 (boots.com) Sunscreen meets skin ﬁnishing with Piz Buin’s glowy new potion. Infused with lightreﬂecting particles, the non-greasy lotion instantly peps up skin with an oh-so subtle shimmer, so your walk to the pool is worthy of a red-carpet saunter.

FOR CITY SLICKERS TRY: Murad City Skin Age Defense Broad Spectrum SPF50, £45 (murad.co.uk) You don’t have to be beachbound to protect your face. Whether it’s city break or daily grind, Murad’s hightech mineral sunscreen ticks oﬀ protection against pollution, infrared radiation and blue light, as well as UVA and UVB rays.

FASHION GET THE

STRIPE

LOOK

TEASE

IT’S THE GRAPHIC TREND THAT KEEPS ON GIVING WHEN IT COMES TO LIMB LENGTHENING. IF YOU’RE NOT ALREADY SOLD ON STRIPES, IT’S TIME TO ADD ILLUSION-PROMPTING LINES TO YOUR FASHION ITINERARY. Claudia Winkleman took the peekaboo approach on the red carpet at the recent British Academy Television Awards. Her exact Self-Portrait dress has sold out, but you can get a similar sheer skirt vibe with this Self-Portrait Paisley Lace Midi Dress, £280 (matches fashion.com)

Self-Portrait Paisley Lace Midi Dress, £280 (matches fashion.com)

BUY IT

NOW Meet the trobe... It’s a clever towel-meets-robe hybrid c/o The Modesty Company that’s made for post-bathroom lounging. The new line of luxe towel wraps come in white, navy or lilac trim, £49.50 each, but you can get 15 per cent oﬀ all wraps until the end of May. Use code TMC31. The Modesty Company Classic Wrap, £49.50 (www. themodestycompany.com)

he SS17 catwalks practically turned into a barcode of stripyness, ranging from subtle PJ pinstripes to uberbold panels. With all those clean, straight lines, stripes are the minimalist’s way to do impactful prints. Classic monochrome is the starkest way to wear them, while multicoloured seaside stripes are the loudest – think of the brightest deckchair on a beautiful beach. Line up for this summer’s hottest stripes...

ZEBRA CROSSING If you’re fully committed to the linear look, go bold with uberwide vertical or horizontal stripes. There’s no softly-softly approach with supersized stripes but, as a rule, keep one of the contrasting colours in a neutral, like black, navy, cream or white, to avoid overkill. Black and white is everyone’s best friend but red and cream is this summer’s hottest colour combo. STRIPE STYLE TIP: Wear your silhouettes in extremes, such as wide-leg pants or a structured dress to give bold stripes a good canvas. TRY: 1. J by Jasper Conran at Debenhams stripe skirt, £70, out end of May (debenhams.com); 2. Finery Savona Stripe Dress, £149 (ﬁnerylondon.com); 3. Topshop Silk Satin Stripe Trousers by Boutique, £90 (topshop.com).

3 directions for a double illusion. STRIPE STYLE TIP: Bold, mixed prints are busy enough solo, so scale down your jewellery and accessorising to maximise your statement stripes. TRY: 4. Oliver Bonas Absorb Asymmetric Stripe Dress, £69.50 (oliverbonas. com); 5. V by Very Crew Neck Contrast Stripe Jumper, £10 (very.co.uk); Simply Be Beach to Beach Stripe Jumpsuit (right), £30 (simplybe. co.uk)

CLASH TACTICS If one stripe isn’t enough, do the double. This season stripes are pre-primed to clash, whether it’s diﬀerent directions, mixed bands, or contrasting colours. Think of your body as a human barcode. Go clash crazy with one piece where the work has all been done for you, or try separates with diﬀerent stripe

PYJAMA PARTY They were once the kind of stripes you snoozed in, but pyjama stripes are enjoying a moment outside

2 of the bedroom. If you’re feeling brave (or sleepy), go for a full Lanvin-inspired two-piece stripeathon with matching top and trousers. For a more subtle approach, pull on a nightshirt-style tunic with jeans, so there’s no mistaking your nightwear as daywear. STRIPE STYLE TIP: PJstyle stripe pieces are best served in sheeny fabrics, like silk. Look for seamless underwear to avoid any show-through. TRY: 6. Jigsaw stripe tunic, £119, available end of May (jigsaw-online. com); 7. Whistles Silk Stripe Tie Front Trouser, £249, and matching Stripe Cami, £159 (whistles.com)

5 7

4 33

BOOKS

Shelf portraits ELEANOR OLIPHANT IS COMPLETELY FINE BY GAIL HONEYMAN is published in hardback by HarperCollins, priced £12.99 (ebook £7.99) There are some books whose narrator is so well written, so human and instantly engaging, that they have you right from the first line. Such is the case with Gail Honeyman’s Eleanor Oliphant. It’s unremarkable as first lines go (“When people ask me what I do – taxi drivers, hairdressers – I tell them I work in an office”), but it subtly poses questions and tees up the most refreshing and heartwarming debut I’ve read in some time. Eleanor has worked at the same boring job for eight years. She has the same routine: home to her council flat, The Archers and pasta with pesto and salad for tea. On a Friday evening, she buys a margherita pizza and two bottles of vodka to see her through the weekend: “Monday takes a long time to come round.” Eleanor, who’s 31, was in care through much of her childhood and has hazy flashbacks to a traumatic event. Her mum calls on Wednesday evening from prison, and there’s no love between them. When scruffy new office IT guy Raymond and Eleanor see an elderly man take a tumble, it draws the two of them together into a tentative friendship that will eventually help Eleanor break free from her lonely existence and learn how to live. Not only is she a joy to read as a character, brave, smart and funny, Eleanor will give readers some perspective on their own lives.

9/10

KATE WHITING

THE ICE BY LALINE PAULL is published in hardback by Fourth Estate, priced £12.99 (ebook £7.99) This is the second novel from the author of the much-praised The Bees. Set in the near future, the action alternates between Britain and Arctic Norway as “very modern buccaneer” Sean Cawson pursues commercial success in Europe’s far north, while haunted by the accidental (or was it?) death of his business partner, environmentally aware Tom Harding. Among the clues that this is set a few years from now are the introduction of a top barrister as a “KC”, not “QC”,

and the fact that most ice at the North Pole has melted, opening a trade route across the top of the world and raising the prospect of both the exploitation of natural resources and great-power territorial disputes (Putin’s Russia actually planted a ﬂag on the Polar seabed in 2007). This could have been preachy in a green sort of way. It isn’t. The excitement of Cawson (and others) is given a fair hearing, and much of the action takes place in that underused source of drama, the British coroner’s court.

end. Timbuktu, in modern-day Mali, long a place of learning and culture, was considered sinful by its detractors, in this case the alQaeda-inspired conquerors who took control in 2012. Author and journalist Charlie English, from a long line of Britons fascinated by the stronghold on the edge of the Sahara, tells of the Monument Men-style eﬀorts to preserve ancient manuscripts against invaders determined to erase history. The occupiers would later be ejected and while some Suﬁ shrines were damaged, the rescue operation saved many manuscripts. English interweaves tales of its more distant past, including that of 14th-century Mansa (King) Musa, associated with Timbuktu’s golden age, who was so generous with his gold to those less fortunate that the precious metal’s market value collapsed.

7/10

DAN ATKINSON

THESE DIVIDING WALLS BY FRAN COOPER is published in hardback by Hodder & Stoughton, priced £14.99 (ebook £6.99) Fran Cooper, who grew up in London but spent three years in Paris while writing her PhD, sets her ﬁrst novel in an unfashionable quarter of the French capital during a hot summer when tensions are rising. The residents of an apartment complex barely know each other except to exchange a greeting when they pass in the courtyard, but their lives become intertwined as what goes on behind their closed front doors is slowly revealed. Edward, a young Brit looking to escape his past, arrives and meets a cast of characters, including Cesar, who is hiding secrets from his wife; Anais, who is crumbling under the pressure of caring for her young children; and Madame Marin, whose husband turns a blind eye to her nocturnal outings. Cooper avoids turning the less pleasant residents among them into lazy stereotypes, and her threedimensional characters are what make this novel so readable.

7/10

TOM ROSS

WAVE ME GOODBYE BY JACQUELINE WILSON is published in hardback by Doubleday Childrens, priced £12.99 (ebook £8.99) Over three days in September 1939, 1.5 million children were evacuated from cities to the countryside. Much venerated children’s author Jacqueline Wilson has turned to this period for her remarkable 106th book. It opens as 10-year-old Londoner Shirley is woken early by her mum and asked if she’d like to “go on a little holiday”. It soon becomes clear she’s going by herself. At Victoria station, she’s rushed onto a train with a group of schoolgirls from a convent school and makes ﬁrm friends with the bespectacled Jessica. But once they arrive at Meadow Ridge, they’re separated and Shirley has the ignominy of being passed over for her schoolmates by the mums who have oﬀered to take in evacuees. Eventually she’s billeted with the two remaining boys. Wilson has an incredible ability to inhabit her child characters so precisely and Wave Me Goodbye will be like Nina Bawden’s Carrie’s War for a new generation of children learning about our country’s past.

7/10

BEVERLEY ROUSE

THE BOOK SMUGGLERS OF TIMBUKTU BY CHARLIE ENGLISH is published in hardback by William Collins Books, priced £20 A fabled Sin City near the desert, renowned for its opulence and a magnet for those gamblers ready to risk all to go there. But there the comparisons with Las Vegas

8/10

KATE WHITING

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"Even when you switch them oﬀ, your lamp will still look beautiful." Indeed, investing in a funky shade, base or exotic palmshaped table lamp, and mix 'n' matching with cutting-edge pieces that can be moved around is far more fun (and less risky) than committing to a curtain call that looks the same 24/7.  1. Aurora Table Lamp in Yellow with 30cm Straight Empire Shade in Peacock Dupion Silk, Base £80, Shade £55, Pooky (www.pooky. com)  2. Palmyra Table Lamp, Base only, £80 reduced from £130, Pooky (www.pooky.com)  3. Golden Palm Lamp, £450, Graham & Green (www. grahamandgreen.co.uk)

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simple way of altering the feel of the room, suggests Sims-Hilditch. Ask yourself how you want this room to make you feel. "Light has the power to create a peaceful environment, where it can mimic natural pools of light, creating a serene ambience in your own home. Using a lower wattage allows for a more calming exposure, perfect for areas of the home that are intended to relax in.”  Corinium Lampstand Medium, £105, Oliver Lampshade, Warm White, from £16, furniture from a selection (top left), Neptune (www. neptune.com)  Keats Pendant, Small, £78, (top right) Neptune (www.neptune.com)  Grenadier Table Lamp, Saﬀron, £135, 40cm Pleated Phula Silk Empire Lampshade, £98, console table and mirror from a selection, Oka (all left – www.oka.com)

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David Lifton TRY NOT TO REACH FOR THE PELLETS WHEN PROTECTING PLANTS

lthough we had a good week of sunshine not long ago, the more seasonal weather has made a return. With more rainfall this week, all those healthy vegetable plants and flowers we’ve planted outside are targets for hungry slugs and snails. The warm temperatures combined with the moist atmosphere are providing molluscs in our garden with the perfect conditions, meaning that they’re more active than ever. Lettuces devoured, broad beans decapitated - the havoc that just a handful of slugs can cause you is beyond belief. I’m currently experiencing this with my first batch of broad bean plants. The young plants are being nibbled, and I’m particularly worried now that we have had consistent downpours of rain. Admittedly, I have thrown down a few pellets because the crop is so precious to me, but I have been looking for alternative. I have developed a couple of solutions for keeping slugs at bay and I mostly try and use organic barriers to prevent them from getting on to my broad beans in the first place. Because they rely on moisture, slugs hate coffee. Coffee grounds work fantastically around the bases of vegetable plants. While they don’t keep every slug off your vegetables, they do provide a short-term solution to battling the pests and the added nitrogen will feed your plants well too. What I tend to do on top of this is add egg shells. Grit will do the job too. By crushing up the shell into a fine powder and combining it with the moisture-sapping coffee, this can create a reliable barrier. While my research isn’t conclusive, I’ve found that spraying plants with a concentrated garlic feed can also help protect them against the slugs. Because of its potent aroma, garlic is likely to make the slug’s meal a lot less tasty than it first thought. In the same way, a foliar spray of coffee would do the trick just as well. Now, of course, you’ll have to keep reapplying all the above regularly to keep the protection up particularly in heavy rain. Yet, by employing these things, as well as ensuring that all slug habitats are moved and exposed, you’ll only need a couple of pellets to ensure a good harvest.

David Lifton has some useful tips to help protect young plants, such as broad beans,s from slugs

RHUBARB AND ORANGE TART STEP 1

Slice your rhubarb into chunks and drop them into a saucepan with a little water. Cook the stalks for around six minutes to soften. Drain the water and add a knob of butter. Bring the saucepan to the heat and then drop in around 50g of caster sugar. Fry the rhubarb until it starts to caramelise with the sugar before removing and setting aside.

Take a roll of pre-made pastry and line a tart case, cutting the sides to the top of the case. Pre-heat your oven to gas mark 6/200C.

STEP 2 Place a baking tray with baking beans over the top of the pastry case and cook the pastry in the oven for around 15 to 20 minutes. Take oﬀ the baking beans and paper and set aside to cool.

STEP 4 Next, turn on the grill. Remove the skins and slice three large oranges in half. Arrange these over a

STEP 3

baking tray with a little honey and a sprinkling of lavender. Grill the oranges until they start to brown on the tops.

STEP 5 First, pour your caramelised rhubarb onto the tart case. Follow by placing the orange slices on top of the rhubarb and then serve up with cream.

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GARDENING

Tim Foster RAIN OR SHINE: THE GARDENING YEAR IS ALWAYS EXCITING

aving found the foliage of my spuds dark green and strangely translucent, I had a quick stroll around the allotment site in an attempt to make myself feel better by finding other plotholders with similarly frosted potatoes. Disappointingly (and selfishly), mine were the only ones damaged. Why were my spuds being picked on? What had I done to offend the gods of horticulture? Well, it wasn’t a disaster – the following two nights put paid to everybody else’s potatoes with harder frosts. The frosted foliage went brown, and healthy new growth has already replaced it. It might just have set them back slightly: later earlies. More worrying was the effect on fruit blossom – if that is seriously damaged then that’s no crop for another year. In Bristol, we may or may not have had an air frost. An air frost is not good news because it affects much more than plants like my spuds at ground level (cryptically called a ground frost). The pictures on the news about the UK’s vines being affected were rather sad viewing. Because apples, for example, flower over a period of a couple of weeks not all of the blossom will have been affected by two nights of air frost. We can hope that the flowers that opened after the frosts were untouched and that some fruit will be produced. The good news is that any fruit produced in such a year, though fewer in number, is often larger and of good quality. Anyway, what I was most interested in was why one patch of vegetables would be affected and another not. Shelter is a big thing, so surrounding foliage will help. More important is location in the landscape: rural as opposed to urban is exceptionally important, which is why I’m still hopeful for my fruit, snuggled up as it is in diesel and woodburner fumes, and benefiting from the night storage heater known as Tarmac and concrete. Of equal importance is topography. A frost pocket is a low point where cold air settles (getting potatoes frosted is a low point in the gardening year). So valleys, the bottom of a

Who knows what the weather will bring for gardeners this summer Picture: Paul Gillis

slope and even the upside of a hedge which runs along a contour, can be a frost pocket. This makes it even more interesting with my situation, since I am not in a frost pocket. I am left with two possibilities. The first is that my potato bed is just downhill from a gap in a hedge – the cold air, as it flows downhill, may have been funnelled towards it. The other thought is that I had just watered them. Watering is quite good for plants – see more later – but if they are “full” and saturated (the correct term is “turgid”) they may be more vulnerable. The cells in an unwatered plant may be more concentrated, acting like anti freeze in a radiator. In an absence of an answer to either of those questions, let us continue in the weather vein (vane?). The dry spring was terrific – for the following reasons:  There have been fewer active slugs.  There have been lots of gardening days.

 Heavy clay soils have not been wet and sticky.  The roof hasn’t leaked.

It has also been problematic for the following reasons:  We can’t ﬁnd where the roof had been leaking.  Trying to sow seeds and establish little seedlings has been trickier. A newly germinated seed will be stopped in its tracks (also known as “death”) if it dries out.  Heavy clay soils have cracked and set hard. They were alright for a while and then, like an overenthusiastic uncle, just went too far. To sow seeds, small soil aggregates are needed – technically, a ﬁne tilth – and to reduce big solid lumps (to small solid lumps) requires some ingenuity. So instead of standing there bashing the clods into submission with a rake or fork, it was preferable to apply water, letting it soak in, then adding more and so on until it was just manageable. I know a pro-

fessional maintenance gardener who was having to water weeds during the dry spell in order to be able to remove them easily. Bet that looked good: the client glances out of the kitchen window to see the gardener watering a mass of couch grass…. A hot, dry spring was worrying in terms of the long-term effect on soil water. The reason? I was always told that rain between April and September never contributed to the reservoir of water in the ground: it evaporates (mainly) or is taken up by plants. Well, that has to be a generalisation and several days of sustained rain even in the summer must make a difference. Never mind – the dry spell is over now. It has rained, and it is raining as I write. What happens next? – will we be complaining of a washout summer or, in the boiling heat of August, will we look back fondly at that spell of rain we had back in May? It’s so exciting – even more so if you grow things.

Garden notes: the seasons C

hazel. You can also grow it on its own and it’s beautiful in long meadow grass.”

helsea gold medal-winning designer Dan Pearson is also a pioneer of natural landscapes and landforms, a wild ﬂower expert and a seasoned plantsman and columnist. Now Dan has collated ten years of his writing to bring us a year-round celebration of the garden, both practical and inspirational, urban and rural, in his new book Natural Selection. Of course, he has a plethora of favourite plants for all seasons, but here are some of those he wouldn’t be without.

SPRING  Epimedium “I have a whole collection and I love them because they have really interesting leaf mottling and colourings and very delicate flowers. I have European and Asian ones. Epimedium Caramel and E. x versicolor Sulphureum are two really good ones. They look good with the tail end of snowdrops and are good with things that are lower, such as creeping strawberries, and are pretty with a little grass called Melica altissima Alba.  Blossom “My favourite blossom tree is Malus hupehensis because it is scented, it has a very pale pink bud and pure white flower. It’s glamorous without being in-your-face. It’s graceful and it’s just at the beginning of its wonderfully long season because it reappears as berries or hips in the autumn. It’s just a really good crab apple, not too big for a small garden. I would put that with a backdrop of simple dark holly.” SUMMER  Sanguisorba Cangshan cranberry “This tall and elegant perennial flowers from high summer until October. It’s good in association with other things because it’s got lots of

AUTUMN  Aster “Asters are so smart during the summer, just getting ready for their big autumn show so they never look tired. In August, the asters look terrific. One of my favourites is Turbinellus, which is lilac-blue and very late flowering, bearing tiny little flowers and very open sprays so there’s lots of space in it and I’d team it up with tall-growing vernonias or something like bronze fennel, which is going into its autumn colouring by then.”  Nerine bowdenii “These brilliant pink bulbs love a hot, sunny place, ideally against a south-facing wall. They are never disappointing, flower for weeks and are really tough if they have free drainage and sunshine. I’d team them with Viola labradorica.” WINTER

 Hamamelis (witch hazel) “You

can’t have winter without hamamelis. You get perfume, you get a blaze of colour, but it’s not heavy-handed. There’s a range of different varieties. I love Gingerbread, which is a lovely gingery-orange. I have it against a west-facing wall underplanted with snowdrops and marsh asparagus.”  Panicum Cloud Nine “I like ornamental grasses to stay standing and this panicum stood standing most of the winter for me. It grows vertically to six or seven feet, is silvery grey in the summer and produces tiny little plum ﬂowers in late summer and goes this amazing plum-purple colour in the autumn. In the winter it goes a buff colour. I’d put it with something lower around it like catmint or low-growing salvias. It likes sunshine and dry conditions.”

Award-winning garden designer and writer Dan Pearson

transparency to it. It has very small rich red-burgundy drumstick ﬂowers so you can use it with other things very effectively. I’d pair it with veronicastrum or Persicaria amplexicaulis. They are lovely with those verticals.”  Rosa eglanteria (sweet briar) “It’s just a common-or-garden thing which is super easy to grow. It grows in our hedges and its leaves have the scent of fresh apples. It produces single pink-ﬂowered dog roses in the summer and beautiful autumn hips. I grow it in hedges with hawthorn and

BEST OF THE BUNCH EVENING PRIMROSE (OENOTHERA) The scented, deep yellow papery flowers of the evening primrose open at dusk and are pollinated by night-flying insects. Each flower may last only a day, but many more are produced all summer long. They make neat plants that can be used as fillers in most borders, gravel beds or herb gardens and are a magnet for butterflies and bees. They need a sunny, well-drained spot to thrive and the flowers don’t always open in the evening but often during the day.

JOBS FOR THEWEEK  Keep new plants well-watered

in dry spells to keep them strong and make them less susceptible to disease.  Mow the lawn once a week if it’s growing, but in spells of hot, dry weather keep the blades high and leave clippings on the lawn to retain moisture.  Prune early-flowering shrubs such as Kerria japonica and Spiraea Arguta, which finish flowering on wood that was produced the previous year.  Keep on top of weeding and pay particular attention to pernicious weeds such as bindweed and ground elder.  Prune pyracanthas that are trained against a wall, cutting out shoots growing directly into or away from it. Shorten the others to about 8cm, which encourages the formation of short spurs that bear the flower buds and berries in autumn.  Prune clematis montana (pictured) once flowering is over.  Snap off spent tulip heads, but leave the foliage intact for about six weeks, which will enable plants to redirect their energy back into the bulb.  Plant out marrows and courgettes when all danger of frost has passed.  Remove runners from strawberries to preserve the plant’s energy.  Pinch out the tips of broad beans when they flower to discourage blackfly.

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INTERVIEW

DAVID MICHOD DIRECTS WAR MACHINE, A SATIRICAL FILM INSPIRED BY A TOP US COMMANDER IN AFGHANISTAN, WHO WAS DISMISSED AFTER CRITICISING SENIOR OBAMA OFFICIALS IN A MAGAZINE ARTICLE. HE TALKS TO JEANANNE CRAIG

DAVID 05 FIVE MINUTES WITH

MICHOD

WHAT WAS BRAD PITT LIKE TO WORK WITH? I loved working with him. In our earliest conversations, we landed on a shared desire to do this thing as satire, to at least build the character he was going to play as satire. In part to embrace the absurdity of that world, but also, for me, to embrace what I think are Brad’s extraordinary skills as a comedic actor.

DID HE COME WITH AN EXTENSIVE LIST OF DEMANDS? No, Brad’s footprint is small. It’s quiet and it’s professional. You don’t have bugles trumpeting his arrival on set. Usually I’d only know Brad was on set because I’d look around and notice his make-up artist Jean Black.

YOU PREVIOUSLY WORKED WITH TWILIGHT’S ROBERT PATTINSON [IN MICHOD’S 2014 FILM THE ROVER]. HOW DID THAT EXPERIENCE COMPARE WITH THIS? There were a couple of paparazzi here or there with Brad. But the Robert Pattinson stuﬀ is a whole other level, or at least it was back then; the Beatlemania stuﬀ. Literally screaming girls chasing

just make a satirical movie about the experience of modern war. I wanted to ﬁnd a way of making a movie that wasn’t just a little bit funny, or a little bit terrifying, but was totally absurd and totally terrifying at the same time.

his car down the street. I had never seen that before. I had dinner with Rob three or four days ago and things are diﬀerent for him now, in a really beautiful way. He doesn’t have to contend with that madness. Because that madness just doesn’t make sense.

THESE EVENTS ALL OCCURRED BEFORE DONALD TRUMP CAME ON THE SCENE IN US POLITICS...

WAR MACHINE IS PARTSATIRE, PART-DRAMA. HOW DID YOU WORK OUT THE BALANCE?

You couldn’t write that, and yet I feel the antecedents for that stuﬀ were being written well before the events of last November. It’s not like Donald Trump arrived and suddenly we realised the world was crazy; I think it’s been getting crazy for quite a while.

I had been looking for a way into one of these contemporary theatres of war for a long time and I’d always assumed if I found a way, it would probably sit within my regular wheelhouse - brooding and dark and menacing. But I was struggling to ﬁnd a way in. I’d been doing so much research and was so profoundly fascinated by it all, the experiences of people, especially men, in those incredibly trying circumstances. When Jeremy Kleiner and Dede Gardner from Plan B [Pitt’s production company] brought me Michael Hastings’ book [The Operators, based on his Rolling Stone magazine proﬁle on Stanley McChrystal] I suddenly saw a way in. It was to do it as satire, but I didn’t feel like it was enough to

HOW DO YOU THINK TRUMP’S PRESIDENCY WILL BE DEPICTED ON SCREEN A FEW YEARS FROM NOW? I think this particular administration, this president and his kind of loopy cheer squad will actually make for incredible drama and satire in years to come, but it will be in the future, it won’t be now. Seeing Alec Baldwin play Trump on Saturday Night Live was hilarious and then by the ﬁfth time it was like, ‘I can’t even watch this anymore’.

THERE ARE SOME GREAT BRIT ACTORS CAST IN WAR MACHINE - SIR BEN KINGSLEY, TILDA SWINTON, WILL POULTER. WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THEM? That was partly because we were ﬁlming in London, but also because they’re really good. We had three incredible days with Sir Ben Kingsley. And not just incredible for me, I think for Brad too. Brad had never worked with Kingsley before and loved it.

YOU PREVIOUSLY WORKED AS A JOURNALIST ON INSIDE FILM MAGAZINE. WHAT WOULD YOUR YOUNGER SELF MAKE OF YOUR SUCCESS? The steps have been so incremental that it doesn’t feel to me like I shouldn’t be here. But if you took me from where I was, back when I was working on that magazine, and plonked me in this room right now, talking about this stuﬀ, I would be saying to you quite openly, ‘I don’t belong here, I need to go now, I’m frightened and I need to leave!’

WAR MACHINE IS AVAILABLE ON NETFLIX

ADVERTORIAL

GET TO THE HEART OF THE MATTER FOR AWARENESS WEEK

n June, it is National Heart Rhythm Awareness Week (June 5 to 11) and a consultant at Spire Bristol Hospital warns a heart beating faster than usual might be a sign of much more than just a ﬂutter! Palpitations – the speeding up or changing of your heart beat – can be caused by a variety of things and the excitement of seeing a loved one can be one of them. But in some cases they can be associated with much more serious conditions. Dr Ashley Nisbet, a consultant cardiologist and cardiac electrophysiologist at Spire Bristol Hospital, explained: “You may feel your heart pounding or beating irregularly – often for just a few seconds or maybe minutes – or sometimes it seems like your heart missed a beat. “These symptoms may seem alarming but, the truth is, in most cases they are quite harmless. However, they can also be a sign of more serious problems involving heart valves or heart muscle function. “Some heart rhythm abnormalities, namely atrial ﬁbrillation, can increase

a long time or occur frequently, or if they make you feel light headed or faint, I’d recommend you see your GP. They can then refer you to my clinic for assessment which will involve an ECG (electrocardiogram) and sometimes further tests to help clarify whether the palpitations are caused by an abnormality of the heart rhythm. When we understand what is causing the symptoms, we can then explore the treatment options,” she said.

the risk of a stroke in some susceptible individuals so it is important to detect this to allow us to treat patients to reduce their risk.” Dr Nisbet has extensive experience in the assessment and treatment of palpitations and heart arrhythmias (irregular heartbeats). She has particular expertise in ablation of complex atrial arrhythmias including atrial ﬁbrillation and arrhythmias in adults with congenital heart disease, as well as expertise in the assessment and treatment of patients and families affected by inherited arrhythmia syndromes, such as long QT syndrome and Brugada syndrome. She also has many years of experience of general cardiology including the assessment of chest pain, breathlessness, and syncope (fainting). “It is wise to be aware of palpitations and how long they last and how often they occur. “For many patients, simply eliminating caffeine and reducing stress is all that is required to settle symptoms down. “If the episodes of palpitation last

“If you are worried about palpitations, then the worst thing you can do is to keep it to yourself. Most palpitations are not due to a life threatening rhythm problem and some simple investigations can provide great reassurance. However, some arrhythmias do require more specialised treatment and, as with so many health problems, the sooner we detect the problem, the better your treatment outcomes will be,” she added. If you are looking for more information about abnormal heart rhythms, the causes, symptoms and treatments then you can book into Spire Bristol Hospital’s patient information evening. On Thursday June 29, at 7pm Spire Bristol would like to invite you to listen to a discussion by Dr Nisbet, who will talk to an open group about this topic. She will even be providing free pulse checks for those interested. You can book a place at this event by calling Spire Bristol Hospital’s patient treatment advisers on 0117 980 4080 or by emailing info@spirebristol.com

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TRAVEL

DAVID CLENSY AND HIS FAMILY ENJOY AN ADVENTURE ON THE ISLE OF WIGHT

ON THE FAMOUS FIVE TRAIL A

s we made our way out of the Solent and the outline of the Isle of Wight’s northern coast emerged beyond the bow of the Red Funnel line ferry, my two little boys were beside themselves with excitement. Our six-year-old bounced on the spot chattering on about all the things we could do across our long weekend away, while our four-year-old simply clenched his fists with a shudder at the thought of all the adventures that lay ahead. You see, when you’re four and six it’s all about adventures. Whether you’re a pirate for the day or a train driver, the adventures are in a constant free-flow in your young imaginations, so to get the chance to live some of them for real is almost too exciting for words. For lovers of Enid Blyton’s Famous Five, 2017 is a landmark year – 75 years since the very first book in the series, Five On A Treasure Island, was published, and as we drove off the ferry boat and trundled across the island, I couldn’t help but think there was something of the spirit of Enid Blyton at play in their bubbling excitement. In their young minds, like Julian, Dick, Anne and George seven and a half decades before, the world was unfolding before them like a series of Blyton chapters, and on a few occasions during our stay, I could have sworn I heard the distant bark of Timmy on the wind.

Most of the gang’s adventures ended with lashings and lashings of ginger beer, but I thought that would be a better place to start – so over a handsome meal at the wonderfully welcoming Boathouse at Seaview, we planned our own weekend family adventure. It should begin, we quickly decided, at full steam – so we headed straight to the village of Havenstreet, for a ride on the enchanting Isle of Wight Steam Railway. From the moment we stepped into the station, it was like stepping straight back to the time of Julian, Dick, Anne, George and Timmy. With eyes as wide as saucers, our boys lapped up the scenery as our train cut a swathe of steam across the island’s rolling countryside. With a scream of the whistle and a moment of darkness through the tunnels straight out of an Agatha Christie novel, the scene was set for an afternoon of giggles. Back at Havenstreet we explored the centre’s extensive steam train museum, before heading on to ﬁnd our accommodation for the weekend – the Orchards Holiday Park in Newbridge, where a surprisingly plush static caravan became the headquarters for our family adventure. The next morning we headed to Tapnell Farm, where the boys had their own adventures in the impres-

THEFACTFILE  David Clensy and his family were guests of Visit Isle of Wight (www.visitisleofwight.co.uk) and the Orchards Holiday Park in Newbridge (www.orchardsholiday-park.co.uk). �  Visit Isle of Wight is running a family holiday competition on its website, until June 2, to win a three-night stay at Orchards Holiday Park. �  David and his family sailed with Red Funnel, which oﬀers day return foot passenger crossings from £9.70, day return vehicle crossings start from £44 and short break return vehicle crossings from £56 for a car and up to seven passengers. For more information and to book, visit www.redfunnel.co.uk

sive soft play area, while Mum and Dad enjoyed a coffee and a moment’s rest. The farm’s living exhibits range from goats to wallabies, with plenty to keep young minds entertained. We even came face-toface with owls and other birds of prey who were a visiting exhibit from the nearby Haven Falconry centre. All in all, we were all feeling famished by the time we headed to the neighbouring Cow Co restaurant for a slap-up steak lunch. I checked out the drinks menu thinking we’d better start lashing out the ginger beer again. Our ﬁnal adventure came the following morning, with a trip to Carisbrooke Castle. One of the most important strongholds on the Isle of Wight since Saxon times, the castle was also the unwilling home to King Charles I from 1647-8, when he tried and failed to escape twice. To walk into the bedroom where the miserable monarch rested his soonto-be separated head is a spine-tin-

ON A FEW OCCASIONS DURING OUR STAY, I COULD HAVE SWORN I HEARD THE DISTANT BARK OF TIMMY ON THE WIND.

gling experience whatever your age. English Heritage now maintains the fascinating castle, with its epic ramparts overlooking much of the island. We climbed to the top, up more than 80 steps to stand beneath the ﬂuttering ﬂag on top of the keep, as the Isle of Wight stretched out around us. “Wow,” my two little boys said in unison as they looked out across the view, with smiles that beamed just like faces from the cover of an Enid Blyton adventure story.

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EXCLUSIVELY WITH

YOUR LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE EVERY FRIDAY 48

TELEVISION

la ichae ke es, M illian Bur m a G G , s e m a gh ackh in Hu Mart n, Chris P ha Strac

‘We should expect to see wildlife wherever we are’ SPRINGWATCH IS SET TO BEGIN ANOTHER SERIES AND IT’S COMING FROM THE COTSWOLDS

hether it’s a photo of blue tits nesting in the garden or squirrels somersaulting through treetops, Springwatch fans avidly post their observations on social media. But when it comes to audience interaction, the presenters’ most frequently asked question has nothing to do with wildlife. “It’s usually about what we’re wearing,” sighs Michaela Strachan, who today is sporting a T-shirt with a rather cute illustration of a badger. Such is the camaraderie and comedy of Springwatch, which is back on our screens for a new three-week wildlife watching bonanza (peppered with entertaining banter) from Monday, May 29. Described by the BBC as a radical change, the team has swapped pristine nature reserves for a working countryside estate, with a new home at National Trust property Sherborne Estate in the Cotswolds. Built as a grandstand in the 17th century, the area is now used for farmland and tourism. By choosing a location accessible to the public, series producers hope to connect viewers with

glia with an overgrazed mono-culture,” scoffs Chris. Michaela hints that the typically over-critical Springwatch film crew are already getting uncharacteristically over-excited about what’s in store for the next few weeks. Nest boxes have been erected around the site, with the hope remote cameras will deliver live footage of barn owl chicks. But there’s one avian species that roving reporter Martin Hughes-Games is desperate to encounter. “For the last three years, I’ve tried to see lesser spotted woodpeckers, which I now think are made up,” he admits with frustration. “It’s a woodpecker the size of a sparrow... apparently.” Chris, of course, has seen several in his time and assures Martin luck may be on his side this season. While he and Michaela hold fort at Sherborne, Martin will be travelling up and down the UK, filming pine martens and beavers in Scotland, meeting reintroduced red squirrels in the Scilly Isles, and tagging jellyfish. The former producer, who is now part of the Springwatch furniture, has been overwhelmed by his growing fan base. Last year, when rumours

common animals from childhood books such as The Wind In The Willows and the Beatrix Potter titles, and for the ﬁrst time, the team will also have a base for a full year, enabling them to chart the adaptations of wildlife to different seasons. “One of the problems that blights us right now is that we partition our expectations,” explains Chris, who’s been with the programme since 2009. “If we want to see art, we go to an art gallery; if we want to see history we go to a stately house museum. “We’ve got ourselves into a state of mind where if we want to see nature, we go to a nature reserve, and that depresses me because we should have an expectation to see wildlife wherever we are.” One of the team’s major aims is to give viewers a reality check on the health of the UK’s countryside, and look at how it can be managed in a sustainable way. “Unfortunately, a lot of people look outside, see it’s green and think it’s OK. But I’m afraid it isn’t,” says Chris. Fortunately, Sherborne has plenty of good bits... “We wouldn’t go to some agricultural desert in East An-

hinted he might be dropped from the show, a furious Twitter petition was launched to keep him on screen. The team’s relative newbie Gillian Burke has also been out and about on location creating animal diaries, and says ﬁlming emperor moths on Dartmoor was a reminder she has one of the best jobs in the world. “I got completely absorbed,” she gushes, recalling the recording of the UK’s only silk moth in breeding season. “Hang on Gilly,” says Chris, interrupting her momentary idyll. “You were working with our best crew, the moths turned up and did their thing and it didn’t rain. You’ve just got lucky so far!” The quick-witted 56-year-old presenter is known for his on-screen game playing, going off on a tangent and inserting song lyrics into conversations. “I thought I might do it again this year,” he muses. “The problem is my interest in music is relatively narrow in its scope, so there are lots of bands which I could do but no one else would know.”

SPRINGWATCH STARTS ON BBC TWO ON MONDAY, MAY 29

TELEVISION

PAUL HOLLYWOOD IS SWAPPING THE BAKE OFF TENT FOR THE OPEN ROADS OF EUROPE IN HIS NEW SERIES, HE TELLS SUSAN GRIFFIN

e might be known for his bread and buns but away from the oven, Paul Hollywood’s a petrol head and loves nothing more than racing cars. “Baking is my career, it’s what I am. The whole presenter thing is an accident. I’m a baker by trade but my hobby was always cars,” says The Great British Bake Off judge. He’s been passionate about motors “for as long as I can remember”. “My dad used to have several cars growing up – nothing particularly special, but I just loved cars,” declares Paul, who shared his enthusiasm for motors on BBC programmes Racing Legends and Licence To Thrill: Paul Hollywood Meets Aston Martin in 2015. The same year he represented the racing team Beechdean Aston Mar-

tin in the British GT Championship. “When I was about 13, I fell in love with the TR7. Don’t ask me why, I just did. It was this chocolate one with chequered seats in a garage down the road from where we grew up in the Wirral,” he recalls in his familiar Liverpool twang. “I used to go and watch this car every night and go and look at it because I just loved it.” No wonder he describes his latest show, Paul Hollywood’s Big Continental Road Trip, as “a dream job for me”. In the three-part series, Paul travels to Germany, France and Italy, endeavouring to understand more about each country through its love of cars. “It didn’t feel like work,” he says. “The travel was just amazing we went to some really beautiful places.

WHEN I WAS ABOUT 13, I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE TR7. DON’T ASK ME WHY, I JUST DID. IT WAS THIS CHOCOLATE ONE WITH CHEQUERED SEATS IN A GARAGE DOWN THE ROAD FROM WHERE WE GREW UP IN THE WIRRAL

I thought, ‘This is magic, it really is magic’.” One of the most memorable experiences was driving around Italy in a Lamborghini alongside Strictly Come Dancing’s Bruno Tonioli. “We nearly got arrested for speeding around Rome. He was petriﬁed, bless him,” recalls Paul, who was particularly taken with Ivrea. “It’s where we had the orange ﬁght. It was mental, it really was crazy. Most of my clothes I had to chuck because they stink of orange. I smelt like a crepe Suzette,” he says, recalling his participation in the town’s annual Battle of the Oranges. “The people are just so passionate about what they do, which is the point we were trying to make. Even though they’re just throwing oranges, it means something.”

In Germany, he stopped off to serve up some spicy food from the back of a VW van to some nudists. “This is a country which is very formal. We think of them as very straight, no sense of humour, and yet this country started the whole nudist movement. “We were in the Kombi van, just going there and spending a couple of hours with these people. They were very funny, absolutely hilarious. I didn’t know where to look. Never, ever take your eye off their eyeball. Just keep your head in one place and look at them in the eye.” Was he tempted to strip off? “When they told me, I went, ‘No, no, no. I’m not getting my kit off, it’s not going to happen’.” Not even for his fans? “They’d be disappointed if I did that!” he laughs. Paul believes the show stands apart from others in the genre because “we’re trying to find out about the places as well as the people”. “The cars were almost the transport to take me to the people, to learn about why Italians like supercars and hypercars,” he explains. “The Germans – why do we think of them as quite stiff upper-lipped and all about the engineering, and things must last and [demonstrate] reliability? And why are the French very much socialist still? They don’t like bling, they don’t like sporty cars. They’d rather have a great case of wine than a fantastic car sitting on the drive. “You can find out a lot about the place and the people by the cars they drive – and how they drive.” The series arrives after Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond’s The Grand Tour debut on Amazon and a second series of the revamped Top Gear, with Matt Le Blanc promoted to hosting duties following the departure of Chris Evans. Paul insists he’s not disappointed he wasn’t part of the new Top Gear line-up. “This programme was already in the making so it was difficult for me to get involved anyway. So, no, that was never a choice. “I would rather do something different anyway, so I was happy carrying on with the Continental Road Trip.” Besides, he’s keeping busy with The Great British Bake Off, having decided to move with the programme to Channel 4, despite former BBC colleagues Mary Berry, Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc standing down. He claims he was unaware of the furore that ensued. “I’ve been told by the press that it happened, so it must be true,” says Paul, who’s still in touch with his

‘It was the best ﬁlming I’ve ever done’

Paul with his old Bake Oﬀ colleagues – Mel, Sue and Mary

former judging partner Mary Berry. “Why wouldn’t I be? There’s no reason for it [their friendship] to stop.” He’s earned a reputation for being tough in the Bake Off tent, but that’s something he attributes to the programme-makers. “It’s called editing,” he laughs. “I’m very easy-going, quite chilled. But at the end of the day if something’s wrong then I have to point it out because that’s my job. But tough, really? I judge mufﬁns. How the hell is that tough?” And in Continental Road Trip, he believes “people see the real me”. “The laughing, the crying with laughter on many occasions, which I just don’t do on other shows. “I felt more relaxed doing it. It was the best ﬁlming I’ve ever done. It’s such a giggle.”

PAUL HOLLYWOOD’S BIG CONTINENTAL ROAD TRIP BEGINS ON BBC TWO ON SUNDAY, MAY 28

From top, Paul dines on currywurst in Germany; Paul with Christian Schulte-Loh and the MercedesBenz 600 Grosser; on a farm in rural France with a new passenger for his ride in this Citroen 2CV

TV PICKS

Saturday’s Television Guide JANE AUSTEN: BEHIND CLOSED DOORS 9pm, BBC2

Lucy Worsley visits some of the places that informed the central themes of home and property in Jane Austen’s novels.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live (S,HD). 11.30 Raymond Blanc: How to Cook Well (R,S,HD). 12.00 Football Focus (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.15 Pointless Celebrities (R,S,HD). 2.00 The FA Cup Show (S,HD). 4.00 BBC News (S,HD). 4.10 Regional News (S). 4.15 MOTD Live: FA Cup Final Build-Up (S,HD). 5.15 MOTD Live: FA Cup Final (S,HD). Arsenal v Chelsea (Kick-off 5.30pm).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

CRICKET ON 5 7pm, Channel 5

England v South Africa. Action from the second one-dayer in the three-match series, held at the Ageas Bowl in Southampton, as the sides warmed up for the ICC Champions Trophy. With commentary from Geoffrey Boycott, Simon Hughes, Michael Vaughan, Graeme Smith and Mark Nicholas.

BBC2

6.15 Film: City Beneath the Sea (S,HD) (1970). ●● 7.45 Deborah Kerr: Talking Pictures (R,S). 8.20 Film: The Prisoner of Zenda (S,HD) (1952). ●●●● 10.00 Monty Halls’ Great Hebridean Escape (R,S). 11.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 12.00 Great British Menu (R,S,HD). 1.30 Film: Camelot (S,HD) (1967). Musical, starring Richard Harris. ●●●● 4.20 Flog It! (R,S,HD). 5.00 Nature’s Miniature Miracles: Natural World (R,S,HD).

CLIQUE 10.05pm, BBC1

THE RESTORATION MAN 7pm, Channel 4

Holly remains suspicious about the clique, despite now being at its heart, and a climactic encounter during a night out tests friendships – both new and old – to breaking point.

ITV

6.00 CITV. 8.25 ITV News (S). 8.30 Weekend (S,HD). 9.25 The Home Game (R,S,HD). 10.20 Judge Rinder (R,S,HD). 11.15 Tipping Point (R,S,HD). 12.20 ITV News and Weather (S). 12.30 Bigheads (R,S,HD). Jason Manford hosts the comedy game show. 1.30 The Chase (R,S,HD). 2.30 Film: Mission: Impossible (S,HD) (1996). Action thriller, starring Tom Cruise. ●●●● 4.35 Catchphrase (R,S,HD). 5.20 Britain’s Got More Talent (S,HD).

George Clarke meets Bruce Woodall, who 30 years ago started to restore a gazebo tower – and has finally taken on the challenge of finishing the job. However, he discovers that since his architect drew up the plans, conservation laws have changed, threatening to shut down the project for good.

Channel 4

7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 8.20 Frasier (R,S). 9.55 Formula 1 Monaco Grand Prix Practice 3 Live (S,HD). 11.25 Formula 1 Meets Claire Williams (S,HD). 11.55 Formula 1 Monaco Grand Prix Qualifying Live (S,HD). 2.30 World’s Most Expensive Cars (S,HD). 3.30 A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun (R,S,HD). 4.30 Big House, Little House (S,HD). 5.35 Location, Location, Location (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! (HD). 10.10 The Fairly OddParents (R,S). 10.45 Dogs Make You Laugh Out Loud (R,S,HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors: Dog Squad (R,S,HD). Police dog teams in the Cleveland and Durham specialist operations unit. Last in the series. 12.05 Benefits Britain: Life on the Dole (R,S,HD). 3.05 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door (R,S,HD). A Monmouthshire man fenced in by his neighbours. 4.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away (R,S,HD).

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

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7.00 Cricket on 5 (S). See Choices Above.

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7.00 The Restoration Man (R,S,HD). 3/5. See Choices Above.

7.00 Mexico: Earth’s Festival of Life (R,S,HD). 3/3. The deserts of Mexico’s northern region. Last in the series.

▼

6.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away (R,S,HD). 10/30. The agents chase up a £3,000 deposit owed by a landlord to his tenant.

8.30 Who Dares Wins (S,HD). 6/10. Game show in which strangers pair up to win money.

8.00 RHS Chelsea Flower Show 2017 (S,HD). Monty Don and Joe Swift revisit highlights from the BBC’s week-long coverage of this year’s Chelsea Flower Show.

8.00 Britain’s Got Talent (S,HD). 7/18. See Choices Above.

8.00 Walks with My Dog (S,HD). Ben Fogle takes his Labrador along the banks of the Thames, Emma Kennedy and her maltipoo puppy visit the Lake District, and Helen Skelton and her dog are in Dumfries and Galloway.

8.00 5 News Weekend (S,HD). 8.05 NCIS: Los Angeles (S,HD). 23/24. See Choices Above. 8.55 NCIS (S,HD). 23/24. The team continues the international manhunt for a vengeful British spy.

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NCIS, 8.55pm

6.30 Channel 4 News (S,HD).

9.15 Mrs Brown’s Boys (R,S,HD). 3/6. Agnes looks after a robotic baby. 9.45 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). Followed by National Lottery Update.

9.00 Jane Austen: Behind Closed Doors (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.20 The Keith and Paddy Picture Show (S,HD). 4/5. Keith Lemon and Paddy McGuinness present their version of Jaws. 9.50 Jaws (S,HD) (1975). Steven Spielberg’s thriller, starring Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss and Robert Shaw. ●●●●●

9.00 The World’s End (S,HD) (2013). Five childhood friends reunite for a pub crawl in their home town, only to stumble on a threat to the entire human race. Sci-fi comedy, with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. ●●●●

9.50 NCIS: Act of Vengeance (R,S,HD). 1&2/24. Featurelength episode. The team reels in the wake of the terrorist attack, but tries to avenge Kate’s death by collecting as much information as possible on Ari.

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10.05 Clique (S,HD). 3/6. See Choices Above. 10.50 Clique (S,HD). 4/6. Holly finds herself in conflict with the clique after an awful truth is revealed.

10.00 Quartet (S,HD) (2012). Three former singers’ plans for a fundraising concert for their retirement home are disrupted by the arrival of a famous diva. Comedy drama, with Maggie Smith and Billy Connolly. ●●●●

10.50 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather.

11.35 MOTD: FA Cup Final Highlights (S,HD). Arsenal v Chelsea.

11.30 Versailles (R,S,HD). Queen Marie-Therese takes charge while Louis XIV is away at war. Followed by Inside Versailles.

11.05 Jaws (S,HD) (1975). Concluded. ●●●●●

11.10 Die Hard 2 (S,HD) (1990). Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis. ●●●

11.40 Undercover Benefits Cheat (S). 1/2. Paul Connolly exposes more benefits fraudsters.

12.10 Film: Swingers (S,HD) (1996). Comedy, starring Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn. ●●●● 1.45 Weather for the Week Ahead (S,HD). 1.50 BBC News (S,HD).

12.30 Film: Easy Money (HD) (2010). Crime thriller, starring Joel Kinnaman. ●●●● 2.30 This Is BBC Two (S,HD). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.25 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Who’s Doing the Dishes? (R,S,HD). Gillian McKeith plays host. 3.50 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

1.25 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (R,S). 2.20 The Last Leg (R,S,HD). 3.15 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus. Cleo and Joel share a moment. 5.25 Shipping Wars UK (R,S,HD). 5.55 Film: Weekend of a Champion (S,HD) (2013). Documentary exploring a 1971 meeting between Roman Polanski and Jackie Stewart. ●●●

12.10 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Film: The Punisher (S) (1989). Vigilante thriller, starring Dolph Lundgren. ●● 4.40 Access (R,S,HD). 4.50 House Doctor (R,S). Revamping a detached house in Sandhurst, Berkshire. 5.15 Wildlife SOS (R,S). The work of an animal sanctuary. 5.40 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S).

ROXY MAGIC TICKETS £10 ADV SATURDAY 5TH AUGUST

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the

Walks with My Dog, 8pm

6.15 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 ITV News and Weather (S). 6.45 Take Me Out (S,HD). 7/8. Dating game, hosted by Paddy McGuinness.

▼

after

The Keith and Paddy ... 9.20pm

6.00 Golf: PGA Championship (S,HD). Eilidh Barbour presents highlights of the third day from Wentworth. 7.45 Doctor Who (S,HD). 7/12. Earth faces ruin at the hands of three warring nations, until an alien race offers to intervene.

10 11

Golf: PGA Championship, 6pm

▼

6 7 8 9

Doctor Who, 7.45pm

B R I S T O L

08456050255 || 01179290108 info@thetunnelsbristol.co.uk

Part one of two. The agents investigate when two men are killed at a gun shop, but soon discover one of their colleagues could be at risk. Callen learns the Chameleon – a criminal out for revenge – is involved, and races to track him down. Crime drama, starring Chris O’Donnell.

The talent contest’s audition phase draws to a close as Simon Cowell, Alesha Dixon, David Walliams and Amanda Holden select one last set of acts to send through to the semi-finals.

FILM PICKS

NCIS: LOS ANGELES 8.05pm, Channel 5

BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT 8pm, ITV

DIE HARD 2 11.10pm, Channel 4

A lone cop battles terrorists who have taken over an airport to force the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis.

ITV2

Sky1

Sky Sports 1

8.25 Coronation Street (S,HD). 10.55 Britain’s Got Talent (R,S,HD). 12.10 Britain’s Got More Talent (R,S,HD). 1.10 Take Me Out (R,S,HD). 2.25 Take Me Out – The Gossip (R,S,HD). 3.25 You’ve Been Framed! Gold Unleashed! (R,S). 4.30 Film: Space Chimps (S,HD) (2008). ●● 5.30 FYI Daily (HD). 5.35 Film: Space Chimps (S,HD) (2008). ●●

6.00 The Goldbergs (R,S,HD). 7.50 Black-ish (R,S,HD). Bow convinces a begrudging Dre to try therapy. 8.15 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). Binky and JP return from their break. 9.20 Melissa & Joey (R,S,HD). 12.00 The Goldbergs (R,S,HD). 2.30 Rude(ish) Tube Shorts (R,S). Amusing internet videos. 2.40 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD).

6.00 Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew (R,S,HD). Polo players from Hull enlist the dancer’s help. 7.00 Monkey Business (S,HD). 8.30 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 11.30 The F1 Show (R,HD). Formula One news and highlights. 12.00 Futurama (S,HD). 2.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 5.00 Supergirl (R,S,HD). Cat Grant returns to National City.

11.30 Errol Spence Jr – Behind the Ropes (HD). 12.00 Kell Brook’s Greatest Hits (HD). 12.30 Kell Brook: My Greatest Night (HD). 1.00 Kell Brook v Errol Spence Jr: The Countdown 1 (HD). 1.30 Kell Brook v Errol Spence Jr: The Countdown 2 (HD). 2.00 Live Scottish Cup Final (HD). 5.30 Live PRO12 Rugby Union Final (HD).

THE WORLD’S END 9pm, Channel 4

Five friends reunite for a pub crawl in their home town, only to stumble on a threat to the entire human race. Sci-fi comedy, with Simon Pegg.

Alibi 7.00 Home Shopping. 7.10 Father Brown. (T) 4.00 Home Shopping.

Code Black. (T) 2.30 Russell Howard’s Good News. (T) 3.00 Home Shopping.

Yesterday

Dave

6.00 The World at War. (T) 7.00 Home Shopping. 7.10 Planet Dinosaur. 10.00 Dino Hunt. (T) 12.00 Planet Dinosaur. 3.00 6.00 Home Shopping. 7.10 Lizard Lick Dino Hunt. (T) 5.00 Planet Dinosaur. 8.00 Towing. (T) 8.00 Top Gear. (T) 9.00 Dara O Tom Jones at the BBC. 9.00 Sounds of the Briain’s Go 8 Bit. (T) 10.00 Go 8 Bit: DLC. Sixties. 9.30 Sounds of the Seventies. 10.00 10.30 Top Gear. (T) 12.30 Cops UK: Auf Wiedersehen, Pet. (T) 11.10 Dino Bodycam Squad. 2.30 Sin City Motors. (T) Hunt. (T) 12.10 Tom Jones at the BBC. 1.10 3.30 Top Gear Vietnam Special. (T) 5.00 Sounds of the Sixties. 1.40 Sounds of the Gavin & Stacey. (T) 7.00 Cops UK: Bodycam Seventies. 2.10 The Sixties. (T) 3.00 Squad. 9.00 Film: The Outlaw Josey Wales Teleshopping. (1976) 11.40 Have I Got a Bit More News for You. (T) 12.40 Would I Lie to You? (T) 1.20 Would I Lie to You? The Unseen Bits. (T) 2.00 QI XL. (T) 2.50 Dave Gorman: 7.00 Saints and Sinners: Britain’s Modern Life Is Goodish. (T) 4.00 Home Millennium of Monasteries. (T) 8.00 Shopping. Nature’s Great Events. (T) 9.00 Hinterland. (T) 10.30 Top of the Pops: 1983. (T) 12.00 The Joy of the Bee Gees. (T) 1.00 Bee Gees at the BBC and Beyond. (T) 2.00 Boogie 7.15 New Tricks. (T) 8.00 Miss Fisher’s Fever: A TOTP2 Disco Special. (T) 3.30 Murder Mysteries. (T) 9.00 Taggart. (T) Close. 11.55 Waking the Dead. (T) 2.10 New Tricks. (T) 4.00 Home Shopping.

BBC4

Red Riding Hood, 6.10pm

The A-Team, 9pm

The Flash, 6pm

6.10 Red Riding Hood (S,HD) (2011). Fantasy, starring Amanda Seyfried. ●●

6.15 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2/24. 6.45 The Three Musketeers (S,HD) (2011). ●●●

6.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 22/23. Barry turns to Captain Cold for help in saving Iris.

7.10 FYI Daily (HD). 7.15 Red Riding Hood (S,HD) (2011). Concluded. ●●

7.00 MacGyver (R,HD). 16/22. Angus and Jack go on the trail of a dangerous fugitive.

8.15 Scorpion (S,HD). 25/25. Tensions rise among the agents after they spend three weeks stranded on a deserted island. Last in the series.

8.00 Football’s Funniest Moments (R,S,HD). 2/3. Comical incidents from the Premier League.

9.20 Britain’s Got More Talent (S,HD). Stephen Mulhern joins the contestants backstage in the aftermath of the last set of auditions, and hosts another round of Celebrities Playing Games Live.

9.00 The A-Team (S,HD) (2010). Four soldiers jailed for a crime they did not commit escape from prison and track down the culprit. Action adventure based on the TV series, with Liam Neeson and Bradley Cooper. ●●●

10.00 A League of Their Own US Road Trip (S,HD). 4/4. Out-takes, pranks and wind-ups from the series. Last in the series.

10.20 Celebrity Juice (R,S,HD). Keith Lemon hosts the comedy quiz, with singer James Blunt, TV star Vicky Pattison and friend of the Kardashians Jonathan Cheban joining the regulars. Last in the series. 11.20 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 1/21. Lois inherits a fortune. 11.50 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 3/7. Stewie’s first birthday arrives.

9.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 6/22. Homer ends up coaching the kids’ lacrosse team with Milhouse’s dad. 9.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 4/22. Another trio of Halloween stories.

11.25 Gogglebox (R,S,HD). 11/12. The households’ opinions on TV in December 2016.

11.00 Jamestown (R,S,HD). 4/8. James Read clashes with the governor.

Live Scottish Cup Final, 2pm

Drama GOLD

9.30 Football Gold (S). 9.40 Football Gold (S,HD). Manchester United v Arsenal from February 2001. 9.50 Football Gold (S,HD).

Really

6.00 Helicopter Heroes. (T) 7.00 Home Shopping. 8.00 Helicopter Heroes. (T) 9.00 Cops UK: Bodycam Squad. 11.00 Escape to the Country. (T) 1.00 Homes Under the Hammer. (T) 3.00 10.00 Football Gold (S,HD). Escape to the Country. (T) 4.00 Manchester United v Countryside 999. 5.00 Fantasy Newcastle United from Homes by the Sea. (T) 6.00 Escape 2002/03. to the Country. (T) 9.00 Cops UK: 10.05 Scottish Cup Final Bodycam Squad. 10.00 Born to Highlights (HD). Celtic v Kill? Class of Evil. (T) 11.00 Is That Aberdeen. a Nail in Your Head? (T) 12.00 10.35 Live Super Rugby (HD). Cops UK: Bodycam Squad. 1.00 Medical Emergency. (T) 2.00 Jaguares v Brumbies Home Shopping. 4.00 Cheaters. (Kick-off 10.40pm). (T) 4.45 Secret Eaters. 5.35 Charly’s Cake Angels. (T)

RADIO

Party. Midnight Ana Matronic’s Disco Devotion. 2.00 Radio 2’s Showtunes Playlist. 3.00 Radio Playlists: Love Songs. 4.00 Radio 2 Playlist: Easy. Radio 3 7.00am Breakfast. 9.00 News. 9.03 Record Review. 12.15pm Music Matters. 1.00 News. 1.02 Saturday Classics. 3.00 Sound of Cinema. 4.00 Jazz Record Requests. 5.00 Jazz Line-Up. 6.30 Opera on 3. 9.25 Between the Ears: White Rabbits in Sussex. 10.00 Hear and Now. Midnight Geoffrey Smith’s Jazz. 1.00 Through the Night. Radio 4 5.30am News Briefing. 5.43 Prayer for the Day. 5.45 iPM. 6.00 News and Papers. 6.07 Ramblings.

6.30 Farming Today This Week. 6.57 Weather. 7.00 Today. 9.00 Saturday Live. 10.30 Costume Drama: The Wonderful World of Cosplay. 10.45 (LW) Test Match Special. 11.00 (FM) Political Thinking with Nick Robinson. 11.30 (FM) From Our Own Correspondent. Noon (FM) News. 12.01 (LW) Shipping Forecast. 12.04 (LW) Test Match Special. 12.04 (FM) Money Box. 12.30 (FM) The News Quiz. 12.57 (FM) Weather. 1.00 (FM) News. 1.10 (FM) Any Questions? 2.00 (FM) Any Answers? 2.30 (FM) Drama. 3.30 (FM) The Voices of. 4.00 (FM) Weekend Woman’s Hour. 5.00 (FM) Saturday PM. 5.30 (FM) iPM. 5.54

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NEED A NEW

WASHING MACHINE, FRIDGE - FEEZER, OVEN & HOB, DISHWASHER, COOKER, DRYER More

6.15 Judge Faith. 7.00 Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. (T) 8.00 The Bill. (T) 1.00 EastEnders. (T) 3.30 Tom Kerridge’s Best Ever Dishes. 4.00 Dynamo: Magician 12.30 PRO12 Rugby Union (HD). 12.20 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 12.45 12.30 Gogglebox (R,S,HD). 1.35 12.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). A Impossible. (T) 7.00 Film: The Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 2.35 Tattoo 1.30 Premier League 100 Club American Dad! (R,S,HD). Roger murder investigation leads the Spiderwick Chronicles (2008) celebrates his birthday. 1.15 Film: Fixers (R,S,HD). 3.25 Marvel’s team to the local roller derby. 1.00 (S,HD). 2.00 Scottish Cup Final Fantasy, starring Freddie Agents of SHIELD (R,S,HD). 4.10 Bring It On (S) (2000). Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 2.00 NCIS: Highlights (HD). 2.30 Premier Highmore. 9.00 Film: Black Hawk How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.00 The League 100 Club (S,HD). 3.00 Cheerleading comedy, starring Down (2001) Fact-based military Kirsten Dunst. ●●● 2.15 FYI Daily 4.35 How I Met Your Mother Five (R,S,HD). 4.00 Stop, Search, PRO12 Rugby Union (HD). 4.00 (R,S,HD). 4.55 How I Met Your Sporting Heroes: Johnny Nelson drama, starring Josh Hartnett. (HD). 2.20 Film: Bring It On (S) Seize (R,S,HD). 5.00 Zoo Tales 11.55 Criminal Minds: Beyond Mother (R,S,HD). 5.15 How I Met (R,S). 5.30 Zoo Tales (R,S). Interviews Tim Witherspoon (2000). Concluded. ●●● 3.00 Borders. 12.45 Grimm. (T) 1.45 Your Mother (R,S,HD). (S,HD). Teleshopping. Home shopping. Radio 1 6.00am Yasser. 10.00 Matt Edmondson & Adele Roberts at Radio 1’s Big Weekend. 1.00pm Alice, Grimmy & Dev at Radio 1’s Big Weekend. 4.00 Greg, Charlie & Danny at Radio 1’s Big Weekend. 7.00 Scott, Clara & MistaJam at Radio 1’s Big Weekend. 10.00 Huw Stephens at Radio 1’s Big Weekend. 1.00am DJ Target. 4.00 Diplo and Friends. Radio 2 5.00am Huey on Saturday. 6.00 Sounds of the 60s. 8.00 Saturday Breakfast with Dermot. 10.00 Graham Norton. 1.00pm Pick of the Pops. 3.00 The Zoe Ball Show. 6.00 Liza Tarbuck. 8.00 Trevor Nelson’s Rhythm Nation. 10.00 The Craig Charles House

Film4

11.00 Diary of a Wimpy Kid. (2010) Family comedy, starring Zachary Gordon. (T) 1.00 7.00 Yes, Prime Minister. (T) 7.35 Last of Casper. (1995) Supernatural family comedy, the Summer Wine. (T) 9.20 The Best of starring Christina Ricci. (T) 3.05 Napoleon Tommy Cooper. 10.25 Only Fools and Dynamite. (2004) Comedy, starring Jon Horses. (T) 12.00 The Two Ronnies Heder. (T) 4.55 Johnny English. (2003) Spy Spectacle. (T) 1.00 Bob Monkhouse: Million comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson. (T) 6.35 Joke Man. (T) 2.00 The Interviews. (T) 3.00 Beautiful Creatures. (2013) Fantasy, starring The Brittas Empire. (T) 4.20 One Foot in Alden Ehrenreich. (T) 9.00 The Day After the Grave. (T) 5.40 Only Fools and Horses. Tomorrow. (2004) (T) 11.25 Insidious. (T) 7.00 The Black Adder. (T) 7.40 (2010) (T) 1.30 The Haunting in 8.45 Scottish Cup Final Highlights (HD). Celtic v Blackadder II. (T) 8.20 Not Going Out. 9.00 Connecticut. (2009) (T) 3.40 Close. Men Behaving Badly. (T) 9.40 Aberdeen. Harry Enfield and Chums. (T) 10.20 Little Britain. (T) 11.00 Black Books. (T) 12.10 Spaced. (T) 12.40 Monty Python’s Best Bits (Mostly). (T) 1.20 House of Fools. (T) 2.30 Nighty Night. (T) 3.30 9.15 Spanish Football Gold Little Britain. (T) 4.00 Home Shopping. (HD).

Shipping Forecast. 5.57 (LW) Test Match Special. 5.57 (FM) Weather. 6.00 (FM) Six O’Clock News. 6.15 (FM) Loose Ends. 7.00 Profile. 7.15 Saturday Review. 8.00 Archive on 4: Femmes Fatales. Actress Kathleen Turner celebrates the history of the film noir femme fatale 9.00 Drama: Miss Julie. 10.00 News and Weather. 10.15 FutureProofing. 11.00 The 3rd Degree. 11.30 Poetry Please. Midnight News and Weather. 12.30 Short Works. 12.48 Shipping Forecast. 1.00 As BBC World Service. 5.20 Shipping Forecast. Radio 5 Live 5.00am 5 Live Boxing with Costello & Bunce. 5.30 5 Live Sport: The Friday Football Social. 6.00

Saturday Breakfast. 9.00 The Danny Baker Show. 11.00 Fighting Talk. Noon 5 Live Sport. 12.55 5 Live Formula 1: 2017 Monaco GP Qualifying. 2.05 5 Live Sport. 3.00 5 Live Sport: 5 Live Rugby. 5.30 5 Live Sport: FA Cup Football 2016-17. 8.00 6-0-6. 9.00 Stephen Nolan. Midnight 5 Live in Short. 1.00 Up All Night. Classic FM 7.00am Alan Titchmarsh. 10.00 Bill Turnbull. 1.00pm Alexander Armstrong. 3.00 Nicholas Owen. 5.00 Saturday Night at the Movies. 7.00 Alex James’s Date Night. 9.00 High Score with Jessica Curry. 10.00 Smooth Classics. 1.00am Katie Breathwick. 4.00 Jane Jones.

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Sunday’s Television Guide TV PICKS

THE HANDMAID’S TALE 9pm, Channel 4

DAMILOLA, OUR LOVED BOY 8.30pm, BBC1

In November 2000, 10-year-old schoolboy Damilola Taylor was attacked and fatally wounded in Peckham, south London, a death that shocked the nation. This feature-length drama reveals the personal stories behind the headlineso. Babou Ceesay, Wunmi Mosaku and Sammy Kamara star, with Robert Pugh.

Dystopian drama based on Margaret Atwood’s novel, starring Elisabeth Moss as a woman who is kept as a slave purely for breeding.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 8.25 MOTD: FA Cup Final Highlights (R,S,HD). 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show (S,HD). 10.00 The Big Questions (S,HD). 11.00 Regional Programme (S). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S,HD). 1.00 BBC News (S,HD). 1.15 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 2.15 Money for Nothing (R,S,HD). 3.00 Flog It! (R,S,HD). 3.45 Shop Well for Less? (R,S,HD). 4.45 Points of View (S,HD). 5.00 Songs of Praise (S,HD). 5.35 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

BBC2

7.15 The Instant Gardener (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Beechgrove Garden (S,HD). 8.30 Countryfile (R,S,HD). 9.30 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites (S,HD). 11.00 Great British Menu (R,S,HD). 12.00 Live Athletics: Great Manchester Run (S,HD). 2.30 Athletics: Diamond League Highlights (S,HD). 3.30 Rowing: European Championships Highlights (S,HD). 5.00 Athletics: Great Manchester Run Highlights (S,HD).

GRANTCHESTER 9pm, ITV

PAUL HOLLYWOOD’S BIG CONTINENTAL ROAD TRIP 9pm, BBC2

Sidney resolves to resign from the church so he can marry Amanda. However, a child abduction and Geordie’s family problems make him see how much he is needed. Last in the series.

ITV

6.00 CITV. 8.25 ITV News (S). 8.30 Weekend (S,HD). 9.25 Britain’s Best Walks with Julia Bradbury (R,S,HD). 10.00 Peston on Sunday (S,HD). 10.55 Judge Rinder (R,S,HD). 1.00 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.05 Tipping Point (R,S,HD). 2.05 The Chase (R,S,HD). 3.05 Britain’s Got Talent (R,S,HD). 4.15 Film: The Spy Who Loved Me (S,HD) (1977). James Bond spy adventure, starring Roger Moore. ●●●●

The Bake Off judge takes a series of road trips across different countries in Europe, driving some of the most famous cars made in each nation he visits. The first episode comes from Italy, where Paul takes a six-day journey with a different car for each day.

Channel 4

Channel 5

7.30 Frasier (R,S). 9.00 Sunday Brunch (S,HD). 12.00 Formula 1 Monaco Grand Prix Live Build-Up (S,HD). Previewing the sixth round of the season. 12.35 Formula 1 Monaco Grand Prix Live (S,HD). Coverage of the sixth round of the season (Start-time 1.00pm). 3.10 Formula 1 Monaco Grand Prix Live Reaction (S,HD). A review of the sixth round of the season. 4.30 World’s Most Expensive Cars (S,HD). 5.30 George Clarke’s Old House, New Home (R,S,HD).

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.50 The Fairly OddParents (R,S). 10.25 The Gadget Show (R,S,HD). 11.20 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). 1.15 Police Interceptors: Under Attack (R,S,HD). 2.15 Film: Open Season 3 (S,HD) (2010). Animated adventure, with the voice of Matthew J Munn. ●●● 3.45 Film: Pudsey the Dog: The Movie (S,HD) (2014). Family comedy, starring Jessica Hynes. ● 5.30 Most Shocking Talent Show Moments (R,S,HD).

When Kids TV Goes Horribly ... 9pm

Live Athletics, 12pm

Bigheads, 7pm

Cabins in the Wild with Dick ... 8pm

▼

6.05 BBC News (S,HD). 6.20 Regional News (S). 6.30 Countryfile (S,HD). A roundup of reports on spring.

6.00 Golf: PGA Championship (S,HD). Eilidh Barbour presents highlights of the fourth and final day from Wentworth.

6.40 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.45 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.30 Channel 4 News (S,HD).

▼

7.30 Antiques Roadshow (S,HD). Fiona Bruce presents the show from an 18th-century cotton mill.

7.00 Dragons’ Den (R,S,HD). 2/16. Plans for wearable maps and manhole cover keys.

7.00 Bigheads (S,HD). 6/6. The winning contestants from the past five episodes return. Last in the series.

7.00 The Supervet (R,S,HD). A German pointer struggling to walk must undergo spinal surgery.

7.55 5 News Weekend (S,HD).

8.30 Damilola, Our Loved Boy (R,S,HD). See Choices Above.

8.00 The Life Swap Adventure (S,HD). 1/6. New series. Volunteers swap places with people from other countries, beginning with an overworked fire officer from Essex and a farmer in Malawi fearful for his family’s future.

8.00 The Durrells (S,HD). 6/6. See Choices Above.

8.00 Cabins in the Wild with Dick Strawbridge (S,HD). 2/4. Dick Strawbridge and Will Hardie visit a cabin inspired by a national coal pit and a modernist design made entirely from slate. Plus, a look at an airship-inspired cabin in Sussex.

8.00 Holidays Make You Laugh Out Loud (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Paul Hollywood’s Big Continental Road Trip (S,HD). 1/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 Grantchester (S,HD). 6/6. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Handmaid’s Tale (S). 1/10. See Choices Above.

9.00 When Kids TV Goes Horribly Wrong (S,HD). Andi Peters narrates a compilation of classic children’s TV mishaps, including a fire in the Blue Peter studio. With Sarah Greene, Sally James, Pat Sharp, Gaz Top and Toby Anstis.

▼

after

▼

11.15 Murder in Successville (S,HD). 6/6. The best bits from series three. Last in the series. 11.45 The Women’s Football Show (S,HD). A look at the biggest issues in the women’s game.

▼

10.00 White Gold (R,S,HD). 1/6. Comedy drama, starring Ed Westwick. 10.30 The Damned United (S,HD) (2009). See Choices Above. ●●●●

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). 10.35 Room 101 – Extra Storage (R,S,HD). 6/8. With Claudia Winkleman, John Humphrys and Russell Kane.

12.20 Film: Lucky Them (S,HD) (2013). Comedy drama, starring Toni Collette. ●●● 1.50 Weather for the Week Ahead (S,HD). 1.55 BBC News (S,HD).

12.00 Film: Easy Money II (HD) (2012). Crime thriller sequel, starring Joel Kinnaman. ●●● 1.35 Sign Zone: Question Time (R,S). Topical debate from Belfast. 2.35 Sign Zone: Holby City (R,S). Lofty is unexpectedly confronted with his past. 3.35 This Is BBC Two (S,HD). Preview of upcoming programmes.

10.00 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather. 10.20 Peston on Sunday (R,S,HD). Political magazine, presented by Robert Peston. Allegra Stratton presents a guide to the latest issues on social media.

10.15 Gogglebox (R,S,HD). Capturing the households’ instant reactions to what they are watching on TV from the comfort of their own sofas.

11.20 Premiership Rugby Union (HD). Highlights of the final. Last in the series.

11.15 Micky Flanagan: Back in the Game (R,S,HD). The comedian performs to his home crowd at London’s Hackney Empire.

12.15 Lethal Weapon (R,S,HD). A series of violent crimes all connect to a specific church. 1.00 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Motorsport UK (R,S,HD). Highlights from Donington Park. 3.50 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences.

12.50 Arnie’s Greatest Ever Stunts (R,S,HD). 2.15 Film: Blue Ruin (S,HD) (2014). See Choices Above. ●●●● 3.50 Location, Location, Location (R,S,HD). 4.45 Jamie’s Comfort Food (R,S,HD). 4.55 Jamie’s Comfort Food (R,S,HD). 5.05 KOTV Boxing Weekly (S). 5.30 Gillette World Sport (S).

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12.00 Football on 5: The Play-offs (S,HD). 12.25 Dumb Drivers: Caught in the Act (R,S,HD). 1.15 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Top 20 Funniest (S,HD). 3.55 Access (R,S,HD). 4.00 World’s Most Pampered Pets (R,S,HD). 4.50 House Doctor (R,S). 5.15 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.40 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S).

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The family’s maid goes into labour, so Larry rushes to fetch Dr Petrides. However, he finds the doctor right in the middle of delivering his own wife’s baby. Last in the series.

Iain Lee narrates a compilation of internet videos involving holidays, including a man who thought he was filming Las Vegas but actually had the camera pointed at himself. Featuring contributions from comedians Dave Spikey, Zoe Lyons and David Mills.

FILM PICKS

HOLIDAYS MAKE YOU LAUGH OUT LOUD 8pm, Channel 5

THE DURRELLS 8pm, ITV

THE DAMNED UNITED 10.30pm, BBC2

Fact-based drama chronicling Brian Clough’s 44-day tenure as manager of Leeds United in 1974. Starring Michael Sheen.

ITV2

Sky1

Sky Sports 1

11.50 Take Me Out (R,S,HD). 1.05 Film: Richie Rich (S,HD) (1994). ●● 2.10 FYI Daily (HD). 2.15 Film: Richie Rich (S,HD) (1994). ●● 2.55 Film: Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (S,HD) (2010). ●● 3.55 FYI Daily (HD). 4.00 Film: Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (S,HD) (2010). ●● 4.40 Britain’s Got Talent (R,S,HD).

10.35 The Goldbergs (R,S,HD). 12.00 Black-ish (R,S,HD). 12.30 Baby Daddy (R,S,HD). 1.00 Kevin Can Wait (R,S,HD). 1.30 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 2.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 2.30 Rude(ish) Tube Shorts (R,S). 2.50 Film: A Turtle’s Tale: Sammy’s Adventures (S,HD) (2010). ●●● 4.30 Film: Mr Popper’s Penguins (S,HD) (2011). ●●●

6.00 Hour of Power (R,HD). Religious service, with the Rev Robert V Schuller. 7.00 Futurama (S,HD). 9.30 Supergirl (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Flash (R,S,HD). 11.30 WWE Raw Hlts (S,HD). 12.30 Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge: Special (HD). 1.00 Big Cats: An Amazing Animal Family (R,S,HD). 3.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

10.00 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 10.30 Scottish Cup Final Highlights (HD). 11.00 Football Gold (S,HD). 11.30 PRO12 Rugby Union (HD). 12.30 Scottish Cup Final Highlights (HD). 1.00 Sky Sports Boxing Gold (S,HD). 2.00 Scottish Cup Final Highlights (HD). 2.30 Live League Two PlayOff Final (HD). 5.30 Formula 1 (HD).

Despicable Me, 7pm

Marvel’s Agents of … 9pm

Hawaii Five-0, 9pm

Live League Two … 2.30pm

6.00 Britain’s Got More Talent (R,S,HD). Stephen Mulhern joins the contestants backstage.

6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3/24.

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 1/22. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 2/22.

6.30 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 13/16. A look at Brian Clough’s Nottingham Forest side from the mid to late 1970s.

7.00 Despicable Me (S,HD) (2010). Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell and Jason Segel. ●●●●

7.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 4/24. 7.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5/24.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 3/22. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5/22. Marge helps Homer dress for a promotion.

7.00 International Rugby Union (HD). England v Barbarians.

8.00 FYI Daily (HD). 8.05 Despicable Me (S,HD) (2010). Concluded. ●●●●

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 6/24. Penny discovers she has a dedicated fan-base from her Serial Ape-ist days. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 7/24.

8.00 Duck Quacks Don’t Echo (S,HD). 1/8. With guests Ross Kemp, Bob Mortimer and Sara Cox.

9.00 Take Me Out – The Gossip (S,HD). Emotions run high on the island as a shocking revelation is made, but someone is determined not to give up. Presented by Mark Wright and Laura Jackson. 10.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 19/20. Chris’s Mexican girlfriend Isabella gets deported. 10.30 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 2/21. Peter’s father moves in with the family.

9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (HD). 9.30 Football’s Greatest 22/25. McGarrett Teams (S,HD). 13/16. A investigates the death of look at Brian Clough’s one of the last survivors Nottingham Forest side of the bombing of the from the mid to late USS Arizona at Pearl 1970s. Harbour, while Adam turns to Jerry when he makes a gruesome discovery. 10.00 One-Day International 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 10.00 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). Cricket (HD). England v (HD). 22/24. Callen, Sam Alex Zane presents a top South Africa. Action and the team continue 50 countdown of from the second game of to work with Hetty’s internet clips in a the three-match series, former Vietnam War celebration of the held at the Ageas Bowl colleagues as they begin unfortunate, including in Southampton. a risky investigation into the worst wedding intro a gold heist. ever and a girl with her head stuck in a pumpkin. 9.00 Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD (S,HD). 18/22. Coulson and Mace plan a rescue mission as the truth about Fitz’s sudden change threatens to bring down the whole organisation.

11.00 8 Out of 10 Cats (R,S,HD). Jimmy Carr hosts the comedy panel show. 11.55 Tattoo Fixers (R,S,HD).

12.00 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.30 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 12.55 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 1.25 Through the Keyhole (R,S,HD). With Kian Egan, Christine Bleakley and Warwick Davis. 2.20 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

1.00 Tattoo Fixers (R,S,HD). The artists meet a woman whose love of soaps has gone a step too far. 2.00 Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD (R,S,HD). Coulson and Mace plan a rescue mission. 2.50 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 3.40 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus. Cleo and Joel share a moment.

RADIO

11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 6/7. Lois becomes a gambling addict. 11.30 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 15/18. Roger kisses Francine at a wine-tasting event.

Radio 1 6.00am Yasser. 10.00 Matt Edmondson & Adele Roberts at Radio 1’s Big Weekend. 1.00pm Alice, Grimmy & Dev at Radio 1’s Big Weekend. 4.00 Greg, Charlie & Cel at Radio 1’s Big Weekend. 7.00 Scott & Clara at Radio 1’s Big Weekend. 10.00 Phil Taggart at Radio 1’s Big Weekend. 1.00am Monki. 4.00 Adele Roberts. Radio 2 5.00am Huey on Sunday. 6.00 The Sunday Hour. 7.00 Clare Balding. 9.00 Steve Wright. 11.00 The Michael Ball Show. 1.00pm Elaine Paige on Sunday. 3.00 Johnnie Walker’s Sounds of the 70s. 5.00 Paul O’Grady. 7.00 Claudia on Sunday. 9.00 Clare Teal. 11.00 Moira Stuart. Midnight

7.00 Home Shopping. 7.10 Father Brown. (T) 2.50 Quantico. (T) 4.00 Home Shopping.

Dave

6.00 Home Shopping. 7.10 Lizard Lick Towing. (T) 8.00 Top Gear. (T) 10.00 Steve Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge. 10.55 Top Gear Vietnam Special. (T) 12.30 Lizard Lick Towing. (T) 2.00 Deadly 60. 4.00 Top Gear India Special. (T) 6.00 Top Gear. (T) 7.00 Motorway Cops. (T) 8.00 Traffic Cops. (T) 9.00 QI XL. (T) 10.00 Unspun with Matt Forde. 10.30 Would I Lie to You? (T) 11.10 Taskmaster. (T) 12.10 Live at the Apollo. 1.10 Room 101. (T) 2.25 QI XL. (T) 3.15 Would I Lie to You? (T) 4.00 Home Shopping.

Drama

Film4

GOLD

Really

6.00 Helicopter Heroes. (T) 7.00 Home Shopping. 8.00 Cops UK: Bodycam Squad. 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer. (T) 12.00 The Hotel Inspector. (T) 2.00 Escape to the Country. (T) 4.00 Fantasy Homes by the Sea. (T) 6.00 Home Away from Home. 7.00 Countryside 999. 8.00 Secret Eaters. 9.00 Embarrassing Bodies. (T) 10.00 One Born: What Happened Next? (T) 11.00 Babies: Special Delivery. (T) 12.00 Dr G: Medical Examiner. (T) 1.00 Cheaters. (T) 2.00 Home Shopping. 4.00 Cheaters. (T) 4.45 Secret Eaters. 5.35 Charly’s Cake Angels. (T)

I ba

g ge d my

in the series. 2.00 Arrow (R,S,HD). Black Siren returns to help Chase. 3.00 The Five (R,S,HD). 4.00 Stop, Search, Seize (R,S,HD). 5.00 Zoo Tales (R,S). 5.30 Zoo Tales (R,S).

Brian Moore Interviews Dave Mackay (S,HD). 5.00 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 5.30 Spanish Football Gold (HD). 5.45 Spanish Football Gold (S).

BBC4

7.00 Perfect Pianists at the BBC. (T) 8.00 Radio 1’s Big Weekend: Highlights. (T) 9.10 Kings of Leon Live at Radio 1’s Big Weekend. (T) 10.00 Arena: American Epic. (T) 11.00 Blues at the BBC. (T) 12.00 The Man Who Brought the Blues to Britain: Big Bill Broonzy. (T) 1.00 Jago: A Life Underwater. (T) 1.50 Nature’s Great Events. (T) 2.50 Engineering Giants: Jumbo Jet Strip-Down. (T) 3.50 Close.

11.00 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules. (2011) Children’s comedy sequel, starring Zachary Gordon. (T) 1.00 Thunderbirds Are Go! (1966) Puppet adventure, with the voice of Shane Rimmer. (T) 2.55 The Dark Crystal. (1982) Puppet fantasy, with the voice of Stephen Garlick. (T) 4.40 Small 7.00 Yes, Prime Minister. (T) 7.35 The Soldiers. (1998) Children’s adventure, with Brittas Empire. (T) 8.50 The Interviews. (T) Kirsten Dunst. (T) 6.45 The Secret Life of 9.50 One Foot in the Grave. (T) 11.10 The Walter Mitty. (2013) Comedy drama, Black Adder. (T) 12.00 The Two Ronnies starring Ben Stiller. (T) 9.00 2 Guns. (2013) Spectacle. (T) 1.00 Bob Monkhouse: Million Action adventure, starring Denzel Joke Man. (T) 2.00 The Interviews. (T) 3.00 Washington. (T) 11.10 Odd Thomas. (2013) Open All Hours. (T) 5.00 Porridge. (T) 6.20 Supernatural thriller, starring Anton Citizen Khan. (T) 7.40 Fawlty Towers. (T) Yelchin. (T) 1.00 A Girl at My Door. (2014) 9.00 The Trip. (T) 9.40 I’m Alan Partridge. South Korean drama, starring Doona Bae. (T) 10.20 Knowing Me, Knowing You – 3.30 Close. With Alan Partridge. (T) 11.00 Film: The Full Monty (1997) 12.45 The Thick of It. (T) 1.25 The League of Gentlemen. (T) 2.00 Inside No 9. (T) 3.15 Nighty Night. (T) 4.00 Home Shopping.

Doctor Who. 4.00 My Family. (T) 6.00 Outnumbered. (T) 8.00 Dr Christian Will See You Now. 9.00 Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders. 10.00 Ordinary Lies. 11.10 Louis Theroux’s LA Stories. (T) 12.10 2.45 Darts Gold (S,HD). 3.00 Darts Inside the Ambulance. (T) 1.10 12.00 The Force: Essex (R,S,HD). Gold (HD). 3.15 Darts Gold (HD). Documentary following police in Grimm. (T) 2.00 Code Black. (T) 3.30 Darts Gold (HD). 3.45 Darts the county. 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). Kono goes on the run. Last Gold (HD). 4.00 Sporting Heroes: 3.00 Home Shopping.

Profile. 5.54 Shipping Forecast. 5.57 Weather. 6.00 News. 6.15 Pick of the Week. 7.00 The Archers. 7.15 (LW) The Vote Now Show. 7.15 (FM) The Vote Now Show. 7.45 Life at Absolute Zero. 8.00 More or Less. 8.30 Last Word. 9.00 Money Box. 9.26 Radio 4 Appeal. 9.30 In Business. 10.00 The Westminster Hour. 11.00 The Film Programme. 11.30 Something Understood. Midnight News. 12.15 Thinking Allowed. 12.45 Bells on Sunday. 12.48 Shipping Forecast. 1.00 As BBC World Service. 5.20 Shipping Forecast. Radio 5 Live 5.00am 5 Live Science. 6.00 Sunday Breakfast. 9.00

Home Shopping. 7.10 Dino Hunt. (T) 9.00 Walking with Beasts. (T) 12.00 Dino Hunt. (T) 2.00 Walking with Beasts. (T) 5.00 Dino Hunt. (T) 7.00 Walking with Beasts. (T) 10.00 Kim Philby – His Most Intimate Betrayal. (T) 12.00 Chemistry – A Volatile History. (T) 1.00 Diamond Decades. 1.50 Kim Philby – His Most Intimate Betrayal. (T) 3.00 Teleshopping.

7.25 New Tricks. 6.40 Call the Midwife. 8.00 Mercy Street. 9.00 Silent Witness. (T) 11.20 Spooks. (T) 1.55 Call the Midwife. 3.05 Mercy Street. 4.00 Home Shopping.

11.00 Live HSBC Women’s 6.00 Judge Faith. 7.00 My Family. World Rugby Sevens (HD). The Canada Sevens. 7.40 Celebrity MasterChef. 1.00

and Beyond. 6.57 Weather. 7.00 News. 7.00 Sunday Papers. 7.10 Sunday. 7.55 Radio 4 Appeal. 7.57 Weather. 8.00 News. 8.00 Sunday Papers. 8.10 Sunday Worship. 8.48 A Point of View. 8.58 Tweet of the Day. 9.00 Broadcasting House. 10.00 The Archers. 11.15 Desert Island Discs. Noon News. 12.01 (LW) Shipping Forecast. 12.04 Just a Minute. 12.30 The Food Programme. 12.57 Weather. 1.00 The World This Weekend. 1.30 From Our Home Correspondent. 2.00 Gardeners’ Question Time. 2.45 The Listening Project. 3.00 News. 3.02 Pygmalion. 4.00 News. 4.02 Open Book. 4.30 Poetry Please. 5.00 File on 4. 5.40

A homeless drifter hears that the man who murdered his parents has been released from jail and decides to kill him. Thriller, starring Macon Blair.

Alibi

11.00 MacGyver (R,S,HD). 16/22. Angus and Jack go on the trail of a dangerous fugitive.

Sounds of the 60s. 2.00 Radio 2 Playlists. Radio 3 7.00am Breakfast. 9.00 News. 9.03 James Jolly. Noon Private Passions. 1.00 News. 1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert. 2.00 The Early Music Show. 3.00 Choral Evensong. 4.00 The Choir. 5.00 The Listening Service. 5.30 Words and Music. 6.45 Sunday Feature: The Bloomsbury Lighthouse. 7.30 Radio 3 in Concert. 9.00 Drama on 3. 10.30 Early Music Late. 11.30 Sibelius. 12.30am Through the Night. Radio 4 5.30am News. 5.43 Bells on Sunday. 5.45 Profile. 6.00 News. 6.05 Something Understood. 6.35 On Your Farm: A Journey Through the British Isles

BLUE RUIN 2.15am, Channel 4

DREAM JOB

Yesterday

6.00 4,000 Year Old Cold Case: The Body in the Bog. (T) 7.00 SportsWeek. 10.00 Pienaar’s Politics. 11.00 Will Gompertz’s Heat Map. Noon 5 Live Sport. 1.00 5 Live Formula 1: Monaco Grand Prix. 3.00 5 Live Sport: League Two Football 2016-17. 6.00 Peter Allen. 7.30 Flintoff, Savage and the Ping Pong Guy. 8.30 I Was There. 9.30 Eye of the Storm. 10.00 Stephen Nolan. 1.00am Up All Night. 4.30 5 Live Formula 1. Classic FM 7.00am Aled Jones. 10.00 Bill Turnbull. 1.00pm Alexander Armstrong. 3.00 Charlotte Green. 5.00 The Classic FM Chart. 7.00 David Mellor. 9.00 Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Classical Music. 10.00 Smooth Classics. 1.00am Sam Pittis.

Monday’s Television Guide TV PICKS

THE KENNEDYS: DECLINE AND FALL 9pm, Channel 5

Katie Holmes stars in this drama about the Kennedy family over the three decades following Bobby’s assassination in 1968 through to 1994.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 Countryfile Spring Diaries (S,HD). 9.45 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 10.45 Rip Off Britain: Food (S,HD). 11.30 Close Calls: On Camera (R,S,HD). 12.00 Bargain Hunt (R,S). 1.00 BBC News at One; Weather (S,HD). 1.20 Regional News (S). 1.30 !mpossible (S,HD). 2.15 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 3.15 Money for Nothing (R,S,HD). 4.00 Yes Chef (S,HD). 4.45 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (R,S,HD). 5.30 Pointless (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

FOOD UNWRAPPED 7.30pm, Channel 4

Kate Quilton heads to California to investigate alternative dairy products at one of California’s leading producers of almond milk, before meeting a scientist who has been raising genetically engineered goats whose milk he hopes might one day save half a million lives every year.

BBC2

6.05 Flog It! Trade Secrets (R,S,HD). 6.35 Film: Old Dogs (S,HD) (2009). ●● 8.00 Sign Zone: Spring: Earth’s Seasonal Secrets (R,S). 9.00 Victoria Derbyshire (S,HD). 11.00 Film: Secretariat (S,HD) (2010). ●●● 1.00 Athletics: Diamond League Highlights (R,S,HD). 2.00 Golf: PGA Championship (S,HD). 4.00 Elephant Diaries (R,S). 4.30 Natural World: Prairie Dogs – Talk of the Town (R,S,HD). 5.15 Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD).

DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE 9pm, BBC1

Dr Rangan Chatterjee helps an 11-year-old boy who is 11st and at risk of diabetes, as well a teenage girl with an eating disorder whose diet is causing her health problems.

ITV

6.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S,HD). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S,HD). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). The panellists are joined by their partners for a special edition of the show. 1.45 ITV Lunchtime News (S). 1.50 Regional News (S). 2.00 Judge Rinder (R,S,HD). 3.00 Masterpiece with Alan Titchmarsh (S,HD). 4.00 Tipping Point (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

EMMERDALE 7pm, ITV

Rebecca makes a big decision about her future after being rushed to hospital and facing the prospect of losing the baby. Marlon steels himself after seeing Carly and Matt together, and Kerry prepares to face the consequences of her actions. Starring Emily Head.

Channel 4

6.00 3rd Rock from the Sun (R,S). 6.25 Film: Astro Boy (S,HD) (2009). ●●● 7.55 Film: Captain Ron (S,HD) (1992). ●● 9.50 The Simpsons (R,S). 11.15 Film: Clueless (S,HD) (1995). See Choices Above. ●●●● 1.10 Posh Pawnbrokers (R,S,HD). 2.10 Countdown (S,HD). 3.00 Fifteen To One (S,HD). 4.00 Coast vs Country (S,HD). 5.00 Four in a Bed (S,HD). The competition starts at the Brighton Surf hotel. 5.30 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! (HD). 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.15 Pets Make You Laugh Out Loud (R,S,HD). 11.40 Home and Away (S,HD). 12.10 Neighbours (S,HD). Elly unearths ammunition against Finn. 12.40 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.45 Film: The Cowboys (S) (1972). Western, starring John Wayne. ●●● 3.10 Film: The Searchers (S) (1956). John Ford’s Western, starring John Wayne, Natalie Wood and Jeffrey Hunter. ●●●●● 5.30 5 News at 5 (S,HD).

The Fifteen Billion Pound ... 9pm

Coronation Street, 9pm

The Fake News Show, 8pm

Cricket on 5, 7pm

▼

6.15 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 6.45 Regional News (S). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast (S,HD). By the Conservative Party.

6.00 Debatable (S,HD). 29/33. With panellists Angela Scanlon, Matt Allwright and Nina Wadia. 6.45 Celebrity Eggheads (S,HD). 18/22.

6.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 17/20. 6.25 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.40 ITV News (S); Weather.

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 4/22. With the voices of Lucy Lawless and Tom Arnold. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). It is the day of Nick’s graduation.

6.00 Neighbours (R,S,HD). Elly unearths ammunition against Finn. 6.30 Home and Away (R,S,HD).

▼

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). 7.30 RHS Chelsea Flower Show 2017 (S,HD). 15/15. Highlights of the annual horticultural event. Last in the series.

7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 21/45. The entrants representing Scotland prepare starters.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). See Choices Above. 7.30 Britain’s Got Talent (S,HD). 8/18. Ant and Dec host the first semi-final.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S,HD). 7.30 Food Unwrapped (S,HD). See Choices Above.

7.00 Cricket on 5 (S). England v South Africa. Action from the third and final one-dayer in the series. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

6 7 8 9

RHS Chelsea Flower Show ... 7.30pm

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Charlie informs Jack he has been to see social services about Matthew. 8.30 Would I Lie to You? (R,S,HD). 4/10. With Alan Davies, Richard Osman, Germaine Greer and Jermaine Jenas.

8.00 Springwatch 2017 (S,HD). 1/12. See Choices Above.

8.00 The Fake News Show (S,HD). Comedy panel show, hosted by Stephen Mangan. 8.30 May v Corbyn Live: The Battle for Number 10 (S,HD). See Choices Above.

8.00 JFK’s Secret Killer: The Evidence (R,S,HD). Examining the events of John F Kennedy’s assassination. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 Doctor in the House (S,HD). 3/4. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Fifteen Billion Pound Railway: The Final Countdown (S,HD). 2/2. Part two of two. Engineers must construct and fit out a new station at Paddington, while a father and son team in Derby race to construct 66 trains for the Crossrail project.

9.00 Coronation Street (S,HD). Ken gets a confession. 9.30 Britain’s Got Talent Results (S,HD). 9/18. Ant and Dec reveal the performers who have made the final.

10.00 Detectorists (S,HD). 3/6. Terry believes a man has buried his missing wife in a paddock. 10.30 Song for Marion (S,HD) (2012). See Choices Above. ●●●

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S); Weather. 10.19 Regional Programme (S). 10.20 Don’t Ask Me Ask Britain (R,S,HD). 6/6. Interactive comedy game show hosted by Alexander Armstrong, with celebrity teams led by Frank Skinner and Jonathan Ross trying to guess the views of the nation. Last in the series.

10.00 Loaded (S,HD). 4/8. Watto’s mum Pauline arrives back on the scene. 10.45 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown (R,S,HD). 7/7. David Mitchell and Cariad Lloyd take on Jon Richardson and Russell Howard.

11.20 Joanna Lumley’s Postcards (R,S,HD). 5/6. The actress recalls highlights of her journey through China and Mongolia. 11.45 Tipping Point (R,S,HD). Game show, hosted by Ben Shephard.

11.50 The Great British Skinny Dip (R,S,HD). Cameras follow attempts to attract support for a UK-wide series of nude swims.

11.25 Football on 5: The Championship Play-off Final (S). Huddersfield Town v Reading.

12.35 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences. 3.50 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences.

12.45 Bodyshockers: Nips, Tucks and Tattoos (R,S,HD). 1.40 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (R,S). 2.35 Location, Location, Location (R,S,HD). 3.30 Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb (S,HD). 4.25 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures (R,S,HD). 4.40 Shipping Wars UK (R,S,HD). 5.05 Fifteen To One (R,S,HD).

12.10 Film: Revolver (S,HD) (2005). Crime drama, starring Jason Statham. ●● 2.10 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Top 20 Funniest (S,HD). A countdown of the funniest video clips in America. 4.00 Britain’s Greatest Bridges (R,S,HD). 4.45 House Doctor (R,S). 5.10 Divine Designs (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

▼

after

▼

11.30 Katy Perry and Much More: Radio 1’s Big Weekend Highlights (S,HD). Performances from the festival, held at Burton Constable Hall near Hull.

▼

10.00 BBC News at Ten (S,HD). 10.30 Regional News (S). 10.45 Have I Got a Bit More News for You (S,HD). 6/9. Ed Balls hosts, with guests Henning Wehn and Janet Street-Porter.

12.30 Regional Programme (R,S,HD). 1.20 Weather for the Week Ahead (S,HD). 1.25 BBC News (S,HD).

12.00 Rugby Union: England v Barbarians Highlights (S). 1.00 Film: Easy Money III: Life Deluxe (HD) (2013). Crime thriller sequel, starring Joel Kinnaman. ●●● 3.00 Sign Zone: Countryfile (R,S). 3.55 Sign Zone: The Day the Dinosaurs Died (R,S). 4.55 Sign Zone: Shop Well for Less? (R,S). 5.55 This Is BBC Two (S,HD).

9.00 The Kennedys: Decline and Fall (S,HD). See Choices Above.

New Fuel Station. Low Costco Prices. Your Costco Bristol fuel station is open now! As a member, you have exclusive access to Costco Fuel with performance enhancing additives. Exclusively for use by ALL Costco members. *Membership Criteria applies. Accepted methods of payment at Costco Fuel: debit card or American Express. Membership must be obtained before purchases can be made. JN12261

New series. Chris Packham, Michaela Strachan, Gillian Burke and Martin HughesGames follow the fortunes of UK wildlife from their new base at Sherborne Park, Gloucestershire.

Jeremy Paxman interviews Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn individually, with Sky News’ political editor Faisal Islam moderating as members of a studio audience put questions directly to the leaders of the Conservative and Labour parties.

FILM PICKS

MAY V CORBYN LIVE: THE BATTLE FOR NUMBER 10 8.30pm, Channel 4

SPRINGWATCH 2017 8pm, BBC2

SONG FOR MARION 10.30pm, BBC2

A grouchy old man’s life is dramatically changed when he takes his terminally ill wife’s place in the local choir. Comedy drama, with Terence Stamp.

ITV2

Sky1

Sky Sports 1

10.55 Film: Richie Rich (S,HD) (1994). ●● 11.55 FYI Daily (HD). 12.00 Film: Richie Rich (S,HD) (1994). Continued. ●● 12.50 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.20 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 2.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show: DNA Bombshells (R,S,HD). 5.40 Film: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (S,HD) (2001). ●●●●●

6.00 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 6.30 Coach Trip: Road to Marbs: Final Week (R,S,HD). 7.00 Baby Daddy (R,S,HD). 9.00 Melissa & Joey (R,S,HD). 10.00 Rude(ish) Tube Shorts (R,S). 10.15 Film: Postman Pat: The Movie (S,HD) (2014). ●●● 12.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 1.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory: Shamy’s Story (R,S,HD).

6.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 7.00 Football’s Funniest Moments (R,S,HD). 8.00 Monkey Life (R,S). 9.00 David Attenborough’s Galapagos (R,S,HD). 10.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 4.00 Haven (R,S,HD). 5.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 League Two Play-Off Final (HD). 10.00 Premier League Years (S). Memorable moments from the 1992/93 season. 12.00 Premier League Legends (S,HD). 1.00 League Two Play-Off Final (HD). Blackpool v Exeter City. 2.00 Live Championship Play-Off Final (HD). Huddersfield Town v Reading (Kick-off 3.00pm).

Alibi

CLUELESS 11.15am, Channel 4

A teenager tries to boost her new friend’s image, but her own popularity suffers as a result. Comedy, inspired by Jane Austen’s Emma, with Alicia Silverstone.

Yesterday

7.00 Home Shopping. 7.10 Father Brown. 6.00 Diamond Decades. 7.00 Home (T) 2.50 The Closer. (T) 4.00 Home Shopping. 7.10 Dino Gangs. 9.00 Walking Shopping. with Dinosaurs. (T) 12.00 Dino Gangs. 2.00 Walking with Dinosaurs. (T) 5.00 Dino Gangs. 7.00 Walking with Dinosaurs. (T) 10.00 Goodnight Sweetheart. (T) 10.40 6.00 Home Shopping. 7.00 Steve Austin’s Shock and Awe: The Story of Electricity. Broken Skull Challenge. 8.10 Top Gear 3.00 Teleshopping. Patagonia Special. (T) 10.40 Top Gear India Special. (T) 12.50 Film: Escape to Victory (1981) Second World War 7.00 100 Days+. (T) 7.00 Weather. (T) 7.30 adventure, starring Michael Caine. 3.10 Film: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid Great British Railway Journeys. (T) 8.00 (1969) 5.20 Top Gear Patagonia Special. (T) The Greatest Knight: William the Marshal. (T) 9.00 The Riviera: A History in Pictures. 8.00 Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is (T) 10.00 Kirsty Young: 75 Years of Desert Goodish. 9.00 Live at the Apollo. 10.00 Island Discs. (T) 10.05 Arena: Desert Island Dara O Briain’s Go 8 Bit. 11.00 Go 8 Bit: Discs. (T) 10.50 Mud, Sweat and Tractors: DLC. 11.30 Mock the Week. (T) 12.10 The Story of Agriculture. (T) 11.50 Would I Lie to You? (T) 12.50 Dara O Briain’s Go 8 Bit. 1.50 Go 8 Bit: DLC. 2.20 Francesco’s Italy Top to Toe. (T) 12.50 Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish. (T) Mothers, Murderers and Mistresses: Empresses of Ancient Rome. (T) 1.50 Ray 3.20 Mock the Week. (T) 4.00 Home Mears Goes Walkabout. (T) 2.50 Shopping. Stonehenge: A Timewatch Guide. (T) 3.50 Close.

Dave

BBC4

The Lord of the … 5.40pm

Made in Chelsea, 9pm

A Beautiful Mind, 10pm

Live Super League, 6.55pm

6.40 FYI Daily (HD). 6.45 The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (S,HD) (2001). Concluded. ●●●●●

6.00 The Big Bang Theory: Shamy’s Story 11/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory: Shamy’s Story (R,S,HD). 24/24.

6.00 Futurama (R,S). 8/16. Bender becomes a wrestler. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 7/22.

6.00 Scottish Cup Final … 6.30 Football Gold (S,HD). 6.45 Spanish Football Gold 7.15 New Tricks. (T) 7.00 Mercy Street. 6.55 Live Betfred Super 8.00 New Tricks. 9.00 Death in Paradise. League (HD). 10.00 Silent Witness. (T) 12.25 New Tricks. 11.00 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Shane sets up a gaming day for Prince’s return from hospital. 7.30 Baby Daddy (S).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 8/22. Grampa discovers he is about to become a father again. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 9/22.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 24/24. Leonard is offered a job opportunity. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1/24. Sheldon and Penny bond as they miss Leonard.

8.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 10/22. Krusty and his daughter spend Christmas with the Simpsons. 8.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 11/22.

Drama

(2012) (T) 12.50 Millions. (2004) (T) 2.45 Rio. (2011) (T) 4.30 Mirror Mirror. (2012) (T) 6.35 Snow White & the Huntsman. (2012) Fantasy adventure, with Kristen Stewart and Chris Hemsworth. (T) 9.00 7.20 Open All Hours. (T) 8.35 The Red. (2010) (T) 11.10 Heat. (1995) Crime Interviews. (T) 9.40 Open All Hours. (T) thriller, starring Robert De Niro and Al 10.00 Porridge. (T) 11.40 The Two Ronnies Pacino. (T) 2.25 Piranha 3DD. (2012) Spectacle. (T) 12.40 Bob Monkhouse: Comedy horror sequel, starring Danielle Million Joke Man. (T) 1.40 The Interviews. Panabaker. (T) 4.00 Close. (T) 2.40 Still Open All Hours. (T) 3.20 Citizen Khan. (T) 4.40 Only Fools and Horses. (T) 9.00 Suits You Sir: The Inside Leg of the Fast Show. 10.00 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow. 11.00 Film: Austin Powers: The Spy Who 9.00 Championship Play-Off S*****d Me (1999) 12.55 Men Final (HD). Huddersfield Behaving Badly. (T) 1.35 Michael Town v Reading. Action McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow. from Wembley Stadium, 2.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. (T) 2.55 as the sides battled it out Harry Hill’s the Best of TV Burp. (T) 3.20 The Smell of Reeves and for promotion to the Mortimer. (T) 4.00 Home Premier League. Shopping. (T) 2.55 Mercy Street. 4.00 Home Shopping.

GOLD

9.00 Family Guy (S,HD). 9.00 Made in Chelsea 9.00 A League of Their Own 20/20. Peter’s past as a (S,HD). 11/12. Ollie (S,HD). 2/10. Ashley Cole, sperm donor catches up invites an old friend to Noel Fielding and Aisling with him. Last in the Binky and JP’s baby Bea join host James series. shower, while Jamie and Corden, captains Jamie Frankie take time apart, Redknapp and Andrew 9.30 The Great Indoors and Ella is jealous of Flintoff and regular (S,HD). 22/22. Jack and Olivia’s close relationship panellist Jack Whitehall Brooke’s feelings for with Julius. on the sports-based each other resurface. comedy quiz. Last in the series. 10.00 A Beautiful Mind (HD) 10.00 Scottish Cup Final 10.00 Britain’s Got More 10.00 Made in Chelsea Highlights (HD). Celtic v (2001). Biopic of brilliant Talent (S,HD). Stephen (S,HD). 12/12. Rick Aberdeen. mathematician John Mulhern goes behind Edwards chats to the Nash, whose genius was 10.30 Football Gold (S,HD). the scenes on the first of cast at the end of season compromised by the live semi-finals, party, with the stars Tottenham Hotspur v paranoid delusions and getting reactions from having their own snap Manchester City from schizophrenia. Oscarthe judges and election and creating the 2012/13 Premier winning drama, starring introducing feedback their own spoof of League season. Russell Crowe and Paul 10.45 Football Gold (S,HD). from viewers. Stranger Things. Last in Bettany. ●●● the series. 11.00 Empire (S,HD). 18/18. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). Part two of two. Lucious 3/21. Civilisation is gets ready to launch destroyed in a millennial Empire Las Vegas. Last in apocalypse. the series. 11.30 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 1/19. Tragedy strikes at Langley Falls.

RADIO

12.00 American Dad! (R,S,HD). Stan creates a clone of Steve. 12.30 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 12.55 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 1.25 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 1.55 The Great Indoors (R,S,HD). 2.20 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.05 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 2.05 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 3.00 Empire (R,S,HD). 3.45 New Girl (R,S,HD). 4.05 The Mindy Project (R,S,HD). 4.30 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD).

Radio 1 6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with Nick Grimshaw. 10.00 Clara Amfo. 1.00pm Scott Mills. 4.00 Greg James. 7.00 MistaJam. 9.00 Radio 1’s Specialist Chart with Phil Taggart. 10.00 Huw Stephens. 1.00am Friction. 4.00 Adele Roberts. Radio 2 5.00am Nicki Chapman. 6.30 Sara Cox. 9.30 Fearne Cotton. Noon Johnnie Walker Meets Elkie Brooks. 1.00 Johnnie Walker Meets Blondie. 2.00 Tony Blackburn. 5.00 Suzi Perry. 7.00 Paul Jones. 8.00 Leo Green Remembers... Roy Orbison. 10.00 Paul Merton’s Beatles. 11.00 Jools Holland. Midnight Johnnie Walker’s Sounds of the 70s. 2.00 Radio

11.00 Championship PlayOff Final (HD). Huddersfield Town v Reading.

12.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 2.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 2.30 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Last Ship (R,S,HD). 4.00 Road Wars (R,S). 5.00 Wild Vets (R,S). 5.30 Wild Vets (R,S).

2’s Jazz Playlist. 3.00 Radio 2 Playlists: Great British Songbook. 4.00 Radio 2 Playlist: Hidden Treasures. Radio 3 6.30am Breakfast. 9.00 Essential Classics. Noon Composer of the Week: Clarke. 1.00 News. 1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert. 2.00 Sound Walk. 6.00 In Tune. 7.30 Radio 3 in Concert. 10.00 Music Matters. 10.45 Hay Essays: How to Write a Book. 11.00 Jazz Now. 12.30am Through the Night. Radio 4 5.30am News Briefing. 5.43 Prayer for the Day. 5.45 Farming Today. 5.58 Tweet of the Day. 6.00 Today. 9.00 Start the Week. 9.45 (LW) Daily Service. 9.45 (FM) Book of the Week:

Film4

12.00 Scottish Cup Final Highlights (HD). 12.30 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 1.00 Championship Play-Off Final (HD). 2.00 Premier League Years (S,HD). 4.00 Championship PlayOff Final (HD). 5.00 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 5.30 Spanish Football Gold (S).

Farewell to the Horse. 10.00 (LW) Woman’s Hour. 10.00 (FM) Woman’s Hour. 10.45 (LW) Test Match Special. 11.00 (FM) The Untold. 11.30 (FM) Dot. Noon (FM) News. 12.01 (LW) Shipping Forecast. 12.04 (LW) Test Match Special. 12.04 (FM) Home Front. 12.15 (FM) You and Yours. 12.57 (FM) Weather. 1.00 (FM) The World at One. 1.45 (FM) The Ideas That Make Us. 2.00 (FM) The Archers. 2.15 (FM) Drama: Floor 13. 3.00 (FM) The 3rd Degree. 3.30 (FM) The Food Programme. 4.00 (FM) The Invisible College. 4.30 (FM) Beyond Belief. 5.00 (FM) PM. 5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast. 5.57 (LW) Test Match Special. 5.57

(FM) Weather. 6.00 (FM) Six O’Clock News. 6.30 (FM) Just a Minute. 7.00 The Archers. 7.15 Front Row. Arts programme 7.45 Bindi Business. 8.00 Breakfast with the Disruptors. The threat financial technology poses to traditional banking 8.30 Analysis. 9.00 In Their Element. 9.30 Start the Week. 9.59 Weather. 10.00 The World Tonight. With Ritula Shah 10.45 Book at Bedtime: F Scott Fitzgerald: The Lost Stories. 11.00 Word of Mouth. 11.30 No Triumph, No Tragedy. Midnight News and Weather. 12.30 Book of the Week: Farewell to the Horse. 12.48 Shipping Forecast. 1.00 As BBC World Service. 5.20 Shipping Forecast.

Really

6.00 Helicopter Heroes. (T) 7.00 Home Shopping. 8.00 Fantasy Homes by the Sea. (T) 10.00 The Great British Bake Off. (T) 7.00 The Great British Bake Off – The Final. (T) 8.00 DIY SOS: The Big Build. (T) 9.00 The Hotel Inspector. 10.00 Helicopter ER. 11.00 Women Behind Bars. 12.00 Cold Justice. (T) 1.00 Dr G: Medical Examiner. (T) 2.00 Home Shopping. 4.00 Cheaters. (T)

6.00 Judge Faith. 6.20 The Hotel Inspector. (T) 11.20 My Family. (T) 4.00 Film: The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008) 6.00 Film: America’s Sweethearts (2001) 8.00 David Beckham: For the Love of the Game. (T) 10.00 EastEnders. (T) 10.40 Dr Christian Will See You Now. 11.40 Russell Howard’s Good News. (T) 12.20 MasterChef Australia. (T) 1.20 Grimm. (T) 2.10 Resurrection. (T) 3.00 Home Shopping. Radio 5 Live 5.00am Morning Reports. 5.15 Wake Up to Money. 6.00 5 Live Breakfast. 10.00 5 Live Daily with Adrian Chiles. 1.00pm Afternoon Edition. 2.00 5 Live Sport. 3.00 5 Live Sport: Championship Football 2016-17. 5.30 5 Live Drive. 7.00 5 Live Sport: The Monday Night Club. 9.00 5 Live Sport: 5 Live Rugby. 10.00 Flintoff, Savage and the Ping Pong Guy. 10.30 Phil Williams. 1.00am Up All Night. Classic FM 6.00am More Music Breakfast. 9.00 John Suchet. 1.00pm Anne-Marie Minhall. 5.00 John Brunning. 8.00 The Full Works Concert. 10.00 Smooth Classics. 1.00am Sam Pittis.

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Tuesday’s Television Guide TV PICKS

GRAYSON PERRY: DIVIDED BRITAIN 9pm, Channel 4

THE YORKSHIRE VET 8pm, Channel 5

Documentary about Yorkshire vet Julian Norton, his partner Peter Wright and their team. Julian gets dragged around a barn by one-ton bull Merchant and operates on police dog Thor, while Peter helps a baby goat open its eyes and fixes a cat with loose teeth.

The award-winning artist attempts to uncover the emotions, beliefs and desires that drive peoples’ loyalty to one political tribe or another.

BBC1

BBC2

6.30 Rip Off Britain: Food (R,S,HD). 7.15 Yes Chef (R,S,HD). 8.00 Sign Zone: Great American Railroad Journeys (R,S). 9.00 Victoria Derbyshire (S,HD). 11.00 BBC Newsroom Live (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S,HD). 1.00 The Super League Show (S). 1.45 Coast (R,S,HD). 2.15 Red Rock (R,S,HD). 3.00 Hairy Bikers’ Best of British (R,S,HD). 3.45 Elephant Diaries (R,S). 4.15 Pilgrimage with Simon Reeve (R,S,HD). 5.15 Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD).

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Countryfile Spring Diaries (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (S,HD). 11.00 Rip Off Britain: Food (S,HD). 11.45 Close Calls: On Camera (R,S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News at One; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 !mpossible (S,HD). 3.00 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 3.45 Yes Chef (S,HD). 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (R,S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

BROKEN 9pm, BBC1

HOLLYOAKS 6.30pm, Channel 4

Father Michael makes a discovery and must act fast to help Christina justify what happened to the authorities and her sister Mariella. Drama, starring Sean Bean.

ITV

6.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S,HD). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S,HD). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). The team is joined by guest Joe Wicks. 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Judge Rinder (R,S,HD). 3.00 Masterpiece with Alan Titchmarsh (S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

Shane sets up a living room gaming day for Prince’s return from hospital, and Goldie worries that she will never be able to get rid of her ex. She begs Shane to leave but he is determined to stay for his sons, until Goldie shows him the cash that Ellie gave her.

Channel 4

6.00 Countdown (R,S,HD). 6.45 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 8.35 Frasier (R,S). 10.05 Ramsay’s Hotel Hell (R,S,HD). 11.00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary (S,HD). 12.05 Couples Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R,S,HD). 2.10 Countdown (S,HD). 3.00 Fifteen To One (S,HD). 4.00 Coast vs Country (S,HD). 5.00 Four in a Bed (S,HD). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! (HD). 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.15 The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away (R,S,HD). 1.10 Access. 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S,HD). 3.15 Film: Death Al Dente: the Gourmet Detective (S,HD) (2015). See Choices Above. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

Great British Menu, 7.30pm

Emmerdale, 7pm

First Dates, 10pm

Diana: 7 Days That Shook ... 9pm

▼

6.00 BBC News at Six; Weather (S,HD). 6.30 Regional News (S). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast (S,HD). By the Labour Party.

6.00 Debatable (S,HD). 30/33. Quiz show, hosted by Patrick Kielty. 6.45 Celebrity Eggheads (S,HD). 19/22. A team of authors take part in Jeremy Vine’s quiz.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News (S); Weather.

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5/22. The family relocates to a farm. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). See Choices Above.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). 6.30 5 News Tonight (S,HD). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast: Scottish National Party By the Scottish National Party.

▼

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Kim is shocked to find out what has been going on with Denise. Followed by Regional News.

7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 22/45. Three chefs hope to impress with their fish dishes.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Nell tries to get her life in order. 7.30 Britain’s Got Talent (S,HD). 10/18. Ant and Dec host the second live semi-final.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S,HD). 7.55 Party Election Broadcast (S,HD). Political broadcast.

7.00 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). An officer gets lucky when a car thief crosses paths with him. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

8.00 Holby City (S,HD). 34/52. As a personal emergency strikes, Mo makes a heart-wrenching decision, and when Nina oversteps the mark with a patient on AAU, her judgement is called into question.

8.00 Springwatch 2017 (S,HD). 2/12. Chris Packham and Michaela Strachan are live in Gloucestershire with the latest from the nest cameras, while Martin Hughes-Games and Gillian Burke report from the Sherborne Estate.

8.00 Grand Designs (S,HD). A year after his last visit and with the house finally complete, Kevin McCloud returns to Somerset to see Ed and Vicky Versluys and their cow shed conversion.

8.00 The Yorkshire Vet (S,HD). 7/8. See Choices Above.

9.00 Broken (S,HD). 2/6. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Chillenden Murders (S,HD). Experts examine the 1996 killings of Lin Russell and her daughter Megan, along with the attempted murder of nine-year-old Josie, and the case against Michael Stone.

9.00 Grayson Perry: Divided Britain (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Diana: 7 Days That Shook the Windsors (S,HD). Documentary following the aftermath of Princess Diana’s death in 1997, when the Royal Family nearly lost its place in the hearts of the people.

▼

10.00 BBC News at Ten (S,HD). 10.30 Regional News (S). Followed by Regional Programme. 10.45 Regional Programme (S).

10.00 Later Live – with Jools Holland (S,HD). 8/8. See Choices Above. 10.30 Election Spy (S). New series. Political comedy. 10.35 Newsnight (S,HD).

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S); Weather. 10.45 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.55 Car Crash Britain: Caught on Camera (R,S,HD). 3/4. Road accidents and near-misses, including a man who nearly gets taken out by an insecure load on a van.

10.00 First Dates (S,HD). Luke, 30, is ready to give up playing the field and is searching for the one, which could be 29-yearold Sophie, a PR manager who is tired of turning up to weddings alone.

▼

9.00 Coronation Street (S,HD). See Choices Above. 9.30 Britain’s Got Talent Results (S,HD). 11/18. Ant and Dec announce which acts have made it through to the final.

11.30 Doctor in the House (R,S,HD). 3/4. An 11-year-old at risk of diabetes and a teenager with an eating disorder.

11.35 Weather (S,HD). 11.40 Paul Hollywood’s Big Continental Road Trip (R,S,HD). 1/3. The Bake Off judge drives across Europe.

11.55 The Chase (R,S,HD). 100/146. Quiz show, hosted by Bradley Walsh.

11.05 Gogglebox (R,S,HD). The households’ opinions on recent TV.

11.05 Diana (S,HD) (2013). See Choices Above. ●●

▼

6 7 8 9

Holby City, 8pm

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

12.30 Weather for the Week Ahead (S,HD). 12.35 BBC News (S,HD).

12.40 Sign Zone: Richard and Jaco: Life with Autism (R,S,HD). Actor Richard Mylan discusses raising a son on the autistic spectrum. 1.40 Sign Zone: Mexico: Earth’s Festival of Life (R,S). The forests of the Yucatan, home to ruins of the Mayan civilisation. 2.40 This Is BBC Two (S,HD). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.45 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Loose Women (R,HD). The team is joined by guest Joe Wicks. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences.

12.05 Four to the Floor (S,HD). 12.35 The World’s Weirdest Weather (R,S,HD). Featuring a vast cave system with its own weather. 1.30 The Secret Life of the Zoo (R,S,HD). 2.25 The Supervet (R,S,HD). 3.20 Location, Location, Location (R,S,HD). 4.15 Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb (R,S,HD). 5.10 Fifteen To One (R,S,HD).

1.10 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Wentworth Prison (R,S,HD). A new governor takes over as the Australian drama returns. 4.00 Witches: A Century of Murder (R,S,HD). The origins of the witch hunts and trials that swept the British Isles during the 17th century. 4.45 House Doctor (R,S). 5.10 Divine Designs (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

THE TOTAL WHO SHOW

TICKETS £12 ADV FRIDAY 14TH JULY

The Total Who Show is brought to you by Johnny Warman’s Magic Bus, featuring top musicians who have performed with Roger Daltrey, John Entwistle, Pete Townshend and Humble Pie.

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As Ken faces up to his attacker he demands answers, and Nick is stunned when Leanne explains their relationship is over. However, that’s the least of his problems as he discovers during a walk into quicksand. Meanwhile, Shona is knocked unconscious after trying to escape from Nathan’s clutches.

The pianist introduces performances by Brighton duo Royal Blood, electro-pop trio the xx, New Orleans bandleader Trombone Shorty and LA-based siblings Haim.

FILM PICKS

CORONATION STREET 9pm, ITV

LATER LIVE – WITH JOOLS HOLLAND 10pm, BBC2

DIANA 11.05pm, Channel 5

The Princess of Wales has a passionate affair with a Pakistani heart surgeon in the last two years of her life. Factbased drama, starring Naomi Watts.

ITV2

Sky1

Sky Sports 1

9.35 Scorpion (R,S,HD). 10.25 Britain’s Got Talent (R,S,HD). 11.55 Britain’s Got Talent Results (R,S,HD). 12.25 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 12.55 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 1.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (R,S). 2.00 The Ellen DeGeneres Show (S,HD). 2.50 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). 5.00 Britain’s Got Talent (R,S,HD).

8.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 9.00 Melissa & Joey (R,S,HD). 10.00 Baby Daddy (R,S,HD). 11.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 12.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 1.00 Brooklyn NineNine (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 5.00 New Girl (R,S,HD).

6.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 8.00 Monkey Life (R,S). 9.00 David Attenborough’s Galapagos (R,S,HD). 10.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). Callen goes rogue and embarks on a secret mission. 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 4.00 Haven (R,S,HD). 5.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Championship Play-Off Final (HD). 10.00 Premier League Years (S). 12.00 Championship Play-Off Final (HD). 1.00 Premier League Legends (S,HD). 2.00 Championship Play-Off Final (HD). 3.00 One2Eleven (S,HD). 4.00 Championship Play-Off Final (HD). 5.00 The Cross Sports Book Awards 2017 (HD).

DEATH AL DENTE: THE GOURMET DETECTIVE 3.15pm, Channel 5

Henry Roth is hired to find the best Italian chef for a new high-end eatery. However, a number of deaths sees him and fellow sleuth Maggie at the heart of another mystery with deadly consequences. Crime thriller, starring Dylan Neal.

Alibi 7.00 Home Shopping. 7.10 Murdoch Mysteries. (T) 9.00 Rizzoli & Isles. (T) 10.00 Castle. (T) 11.00 Sue Thomas: FBEye. (T) 12.00 The Doctor Blake Mysteries. (T) 1.00 New Tricks. (T) 3.00 Castle. (T) 4.00 Sue Thomas: FBEye. (T) 5.00 New Tricks. (T) 7.00 The Doctor Blake Mysteries. (T) 8.00 Rosewood. 9.00 Father Brown. (T) 10.00 WPC 56. (T) 11.00 Rizzoli & Isles. (T) 12.00 Murdoch Mysteries. (T) 1.00 WPC 56. (T) 2.00 Murdoch Mysteries. (T) 2.50 The Closer. (T) 4.00 Home Shopping.

Dave

The Keith and … 9pm

Black-ish, 7.30pm

Supergirl, 8pm

6.30 Britain’s Got Talent Results (R,S,HD). 9/18. Ant and Dec reveal the performers who have made the final.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 4/24. Penny arranges a date for Raj. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5/24.

6.00 Futurama (R,S). 9/16. Leela faces a difficult choice. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 12&13/22.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (R,S). A man fails to jump over a bonfire on his bike. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (R,S).

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Sienna wants Warren to be more involved in her pre-natal routine. 7.30 Black-ish (S,HD). 14/24.

7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 14/22. Lisa tries to save her school radio station.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 11/16. Alan tries to make some extra money so he can shower Lindsey with gifts. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 12/16.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1/24. Penny struggles with Leonard’s confession. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5/24. The boys take up fencing.

8.00 Supergirl (S,HD). 22/22. Kara challenges Rhea as she fights to save National City, while Superman returns and Cat offers some wise advice. Melissa Benoist stars. Last in the series.

9.00 The Keith and Paddy Picture Show (R,S,HD). 1/5. Keith Lemon and Paddy McGuinness remake Hollywood classics, beginning with Dirty Dancing. 9.30 Family Guy at the Movies (R,S,HD). 1/14.

10.00 American Pickers. (T) 12.00 Lizard Lick Towing. (T) 1.00 Top Gear. (T) 3.00 Sin City Motors. (T) 4.00 Steve Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge. 5.00 Top Gear. (T) 8.00 The Joy of Techs. 9.00 Taskmaster. 10.00 Asian Provocateur. (T) 10.35 Live at the Apollo. 11.40 Taskmaster. 12.45 Asian Provocateur. (T) 1.20 QI. (T) 2.00 Asian Provocateur. (T) 2.30 Alan Davies: As Yet Untitled. (T) 3.25 The Joy of Techs. 4.00 Home Shopping.

Yesterday

10.00 Antiques Roadshow. (T) 11.00 Raiders of the Lost Past. (T) 12.00 The World at War. (T) 1.00 Coast. (T) 2.00 Brazil with Michael Palin. (T) 3.00 Goodnight Sweetheart. (T) 3.40 dinnerladies. 5.00 Raiders of the Lost Past. (T) 6.00 The World at War. (T) 7.00 Coast. (T) 8.00 Secrets of the Terracotta Warriors – Secret History. 9.00 One Foot in the Grave. (T) 10.20 Goodnight Sweetheart. (T) 11.00 Coast. (T) 12.00 The World at War. (T) 1.00 Raiders of the Lost Past. (T) 2.00 Nature’s Boldest Thieves.

BBC4

7.00 100 Days+. (T) 7.00 Weather. (T) 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys. (T) 8.00 The First Georgians: The German Kings Who Made The Cross Sports … 5pm Britain. (T) 9.00 The Secret History of My Family. (T) 10.00 Cosmonauts: How Russia 6.00 Championship PlayWon the Space Race. (T) 11.30 Storm Off Final (HD). Troupers: The Fight to Forecast the Weather. Huddersfield Town v (T) 12.30 Deep, Down and Dirty – The Science Reading. 10.00 All Creatures Great and Small. (T) 11.00 of Soil. (T) 1.30 The Secret History of My The Bill. (T) 1.00 Last of the Summer Wine. (T) Family. (T) 2.30 Storm Troupers: The Fight to Forecast the Weather. (T) 3.30 Close. 1.40 Waiting for God. (T) 2.20 Birds of a 7.00 Darts (HD). Action from Feather. (T) 3.00 Boon. (T) 4.00 Monarch of the Glen. 5.00 All Creatures Great and Small. the Gibraltar Darts (T) 6.00 Waiting for God. (T) 6.40 Last of the Trophy, which saw the 32 Summer Wine. (T) 7.20 Keeping Up 1.05 Judy Moody and the Not Bummer players compete over Appearances. (T) 8.00 The Inspector Lynley Summer. (2011) (T) 2.50 The Harry Hill Movie. three days at the Victoria Mysteries. (T) 10.00 Silent Witness. (T) 12.30 (2013) Comedy, starring Harry Hill. (T) 4.35 Stadium. The Bill. (T) 1.30 Birds of a Feather. 2.10 Pie in Picture Perfect. (1997) (T) 6.35 Speed 2: Cruise the Sky. (T) 3.00 Upstairs Downstairs. 4.00 Control. (1997) (T) 9.00 X-Men: Days of Future Home Shopping. Past. (2014) (T) 11.35 52 Tuesdays. (2013) (T) 8.00 Championship Play-Off 1.50 Le Havre. (2011) 3.45 Close. Final (HD). Huddersfield

Drama

Film4

Town v Reading. Action from Wembley Stadium, as the sides battled it out for promotion to the Premier League.

GOLD

10.00 Only Fools and Horses. (T) 10.40 The Two Ronnies Spectacle. (T) 11.40 Bob Monkhouse: Million Joke Man. (T) 12.40 My Family. (T) 1.20 My Hero. (T) 2.00 Ever Decreasing Circles. 2.40 9.00 The Flash (S,HD). 23/23. 9.00 Rude Tube (S,HD). Alex 9.00 Premier League 100 dinnerladies. (T) 3.20 As Time Goes With no alternative and Zane presents a top 50 Club (S,HD). The Premier By. (T) 4.00 Last of the Summer nothing left to lose, Barry countdown of clips, League goals of Frank Wine. (T) 6.00 My Family. (T) 6.40 takes on Savitar in a final including brushing teeth Lampard. Only Fools and Horses. (T) 8.40 Gavin & Stacey. (T) 10.00 Michael showdown. Superhero with fireworks, an 9.30 Premier League 100 adventure, starring Grant unusual wrestling stunt Club (S,HD). The best of McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow. 11.00 Peep Show. (T) 11.35 Men Behaving Gustin, with Andre and a vegan rap. Didier Drogba’s 104 Tricoteux. Last in the Premier League goals for Badly. (T) 12.15 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. (T) 12.50 Harry Hill’s the Best of TV series. Chelsea. Burp. (T) 1.20 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. (T) 1.50 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy 10.00 Formula 1 (HD). The 10.00 The Force: Essex Roadshow. 2.40 The Smell of Reeves 10.00 8 Out of 10 Cats Monaco Grand Prix. (S,HD). 8/10. A man and Mortimer. (T) 4.00 Home (S,HD). Jimmy Carr hosts Shopping. Highlights of the sixth threatens officers after the comedy panel show.

10.00 Britain’s Got More Talent (S,HD). Stephen Mulhern hosts the companion show to the 10.50 The Big Bang Theory talent competition, (R,S,HD). 10/24. Sheldon, going behind the scenes Amy, Leonard and to uncover all the latest Penny try to divide their news, views and gossip possessions. from the programme.

being thrown out of a club, while police chase a fleeing car and a driver’s quick errand ends in disaster.

round of the season at the Circuit de Monaco.

Really

11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 4/21. Brian falls in love with Lois. 11.30 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 7/7. Brian runs away from home.

11.20 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11/24. Bernadette goes into labour. 11.50 Gogglebox (R,S,HD). 4/13.

11.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 5/22. The Dunphys try to get Luke’s Halloween party going. 11.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 6/22.

11.00 Animal SOS. 12.00 DIY SOS: The Big Build. (T) 1.00 Homes Under the Hammer. (T) 2.00 Escape to the Country. (T) 3.00 Wanted Down Under. 4.00 My Ghost Story. (T) 5.00 Ghost Adventures. (T) 6.00 Animal 11.00 Darts (HD). The Gibraltar SOS. 7.00 Escape to the Country. (T) 8.00 DIY SOS: The Big Build. (T) 9.00 Darts Trophy. Cops UK: Bodycam Squad. 10.00 Born to Kill? Class of Evil. 11.00 Women Behind Bars. 12.00 Cold Justice. (T) 1.00 Dr G: Medical Examiner. (T) 2.00 Home Shopping. 4.00 Cheaters. (T)

12.00 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.30 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.55 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 1.30 Celebrity Juice (R,S,HD). With James Blunt, Vicky Pattison and Jonathan Cheban. Last in the series. 2.25 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.35 Tattoo Fixers (R,S,HD). 1.40 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 2.35 8 Out of 10 Cats (R,S,HD). 3.15 Gogglebox (R,S,HD). 3.55 Black-ish (R,S,HD). 4.15 The Mindy Project (R,S,HD). 4.35 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.55 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 5.20 Melissa & Joey (R,S,HD).

12.00 Modern Family (R,HD). 12.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.00 School of Hard Knocks (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Last Ship (R,S,HD). 4.00 Monkey Life (R,S). 4.30 Monkey Life (R,S). 5.00 Wild Vets (R,S). 5.30 Wild Vets (R,S).

12.00 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 12.30 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 1.00 Premier League Legends (HD). 1.30 Premier League Legends (S,HD). 2.00 Premier League Years (S). 4.00 Sporting Heroes: Ellery Hanley Interviews Frank Bruno (S,HD).

RADIO

Inspector. (T) 8.00 Supernanny US. 9.00 Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders. 10.00 EastEnders. (T) 10.40 Russell Howard’s Good News. (T) 11.20 Tipping Point. 12.20 MasterChef Australia. (T) 2.10 Resurrection.

Radio 1 6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with Nick Grimshaw. 10.00 Clara Amfo. 12.45pm Newsbeat. 1.00 Scott Mills. 4.00 Greg James. 5.45 Newsbeat. 6.00 Greg James. 7.00 MistaJam. 9.00 BBC Radio 1 & 1Xtra’s Stories: 10 Moments That Made Plan B. 10.00 Huw Stephens. 1.00am Annie Nightingale. 4.00 Adele Roberts. Radio 2 5.00am Vanessa Feltz. 6.30 Sara Cox. 9.30 Fearne Cotton. Noon Jeremy Vine. 2.00 Steve Wright in the Afternoon. 5.00 Suzi Perry. 7.00 Jamie Cullum. 8.00 Jo Whiley. 10.00 Levi Roots. 11.00 Nigel Ogden: The Organist Entertains. 11.30 Listen to the Band. Midnight Sounds of the 80s. 2.00

Radio 2’s Folk Playlist. 3.00 Radio 2 Playlists: Morning Acoustic. 4.00 Radio 2 Playlists: Wednesday Workout. Radio 3 6.30am Breakfast. 9.00 Essential Classics. Noon Composer of the Week: Clarke. 1.00 News. 1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert. 2.00 Afternoon on 3. 4.30 In Tune. 6.30 Composer of the Week: Clarke. 7.30 Radio 3 in Concert. 10.00 Free Thinking. 10.45 Hay Essays: How to Write a Book. 11.00 Late Junction. 12.30am Through the Night. Radio 4 5.30am News Briefing. 5.43 Prayer for the Day. 5.45 Farming Today. 5.58 Tweet of the Day. 6.00 Today. 9.00 The Life Scientific. 9.30 The Listening

Project Goes to the Polls. 9.45 (LW) Daily Service. 9.45 (FM) Book of the Week: Farewell to the Horse. 10.00 Woman’s Hour. 11.00 Print Me a New Body. 11.30 The Voices of. Noon News. 12.01 (LW) Shipping Forecast. 12.04 Home Front. 12.15 Call You and Yours. 12.57 Weather. 1.00 The World at One. 2.00 The Archers. 2.15 Drama: Tumanbay. 3.00 Short Cuts. 3.30 Costing the Earth. 4.00 Clocking On. 4.30 Great Lives. 5.00 PM. 5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast. 5.57 Weather. 6.00 Six O’Clock News. 6.30 Small Scenes. 7.00 The Archers. Tony won’t be easily won over 7.15 Front Row. Arts programme 7.45 Bindi Business. By

Tanika Gupta 8.00 File on 4. Painkillers in sport – the legal doping risking the long-term health of athletes 8.40 In Touch. Presented by Peter White 9.00 All in the Mind. Mental health issues 9.30 The Life Scientific. Tamsin Mather explains what volcanic plumes reveal about the Earth 10.00 The World Tonight. With Ritula Shah 10.45 Book at Bedtime: F Scott Fitzgerald: The Lost Stories. 11.00 Alex Edelman’s Peer Group. The comedian takes a sideways look at the Millennial generation 11.30 No Triumph, No Tragedy. With comedian Geri Jewell Midnight News and Weather. 12.30 Book of the Week: Farewell to the Horse. 12.48 Shipping

6.15 Judge Faith. 7.00 My Dream Home. 8.00 Four in a Bed. (T) 9.00 Road Cops. 10.00 The Bill. (T) 11.00 Tipping Point. 1.00 Hairy Bikers’ Best of British. (T) 3.00 Four in a Bed. (T) 4.00 CSI: NY. (T) 6.00 Tipping Point. 7.00 The Hotel Forecast. 1.00 As BBC World Service. 5.20 Shipping Forecast. Radio 5 Live 5.00am Morning Reports. 5.15 Wake Up to Money. 6.00 5 Live Breakfast. 10.00 5 Live Daily with Adrian Chiles. 1.00pm Afternoon Edition. 4.00 5 Live Drive. 7.00 5 Live Sport. 7.30 5 Live Sport: 5 Live Rugby. 8.30 5 Live Sport: 5 Live Cricket. 10.30 Phil Williams. 1.00am Up All Night. Classic FM 6.00am More Music Breakfast. 9.00 John Suchet. 1.00pm Anne-Marie Minhall. 5.00 Classic FM Drive. 7.00 Smooth Classics at Seven. 8.00 The Full Works Concert. 10.00 Smooth Classics. 1.00am Sam Pittis.

YOUR LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE

EXCLUSIVELY WITH

EVERY FRIDAY

Wednesday’s Television Guide TV PICKS

FARGO 10pm, Channel 4

New series. A petty feud between two brothers escalates and brings chaos to the Minnesota town. Ewan McGregor stars in the return of the black comedy drama.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Countryfile Spring Diaries (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 Rip Off Britain: Food (S,HD). 11.45 Close Calls: On Camera (R,S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S,HD). 1.00 BBC News at One; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 !mpossible (S,HD). 3.00 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 3.45 Yes Chef (S,HD). 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (R,S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

WHITE GOLD 10pm, BBC2

THE MET: POLICING LONDON Vincent, Fitzpatrick and Lavender meet a group 9pm, BBC1

of men from a local publishing company, raising the alpha male stakes when the trio discover the exciting perks the publishers receive in their line of business. In the showroom, receptionist Carol tries to get to grips with the new office computer.

BBC2

6.30 Rip Off Britain: Food (R,S,HD). 7.15 Yes Chef (R,S,HD). 8.00 Sign Zone: Gardeners’ World (R,S). 9.00 Victoria Derbyshire (S,HD). 11.00 BBC Newsroom Live (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S,HD). 1.00 Two Tribes (R,S,HD). 1.30 Family Finders (R,S,HD). 2.15 Red Rock (R,S,HD). 3.00 Hairy Bikers’ Best of British (R,S,HD). 3.45 Elephant Diaries (R,S). 4.15 Pilgrimage with Simon Reeve (R,S,HD). 5.15 Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD).

EMMERDALE 7pm, ITV

Detectives deal with a longrunning turf war between gangs in Harlesden, and officers in Islington are confronted by a grieving family who lost their son in a police pursuit.

ITV

6.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S,HD). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S,HD). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). With guest Lucy Davis. 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Judge Rinder (R,S,HD). Real-life cases in a studio courtroom. 3.00 Masterpiece with Alan Titchmarsh (S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

Carly is shocked when Matt tells her that he loves her, and asks her to run away with him. Nell misunderstands a snatch of a conversation she overhears between Jai and Moira. Nicola and Jimmy get carried away while alone in the chocolate factory, but end up causing a disastrous accident.

Channel 4

7.40 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 8.35 Frasier (R,S). 10.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (R,S). 11.00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary (S,HD). 12.05 Couples Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R,S,HD). 2.10 Countdown (S,HD). 3.00 Fifteen To One (S,HD). 4.00 Coast vs Country (S,HD). 5.00 Four in a Bed (S,HD). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! (HD). 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.15 The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 The Gadget Show (R,S,HD). 1.10 Access. 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S). 2.20 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.20 Film: Saved from Sorrow: Mysterious Grace (S,HD) (2016). Premiere. Drama, starring Joey Lawrence. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

Coronation Street, 9pm

24 Hours in A&E, 9pm

Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away, 9pm

▼

6.00 Debatable (R,S,HD). 31/33. With Sunetra Sarker, Germaine Greer and Russell Kane. 6.45 Celebrity Eggheads (S,HD). 20/22.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 Party Election Broadcast (S,HD). By the Green Party. 6.30 ITV News (S); Weather.

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 6/22. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Sienna wants Warren to be more involved in her pre-natal routine.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). 6.30 5 News Tonight (S,HD). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast: The Green Party (S,HD). By the Green Party.

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Alex Jones and Ore Oduba. 7.30 The BBC Election Debate (S,HD). Mishal Husain moderates a seven-way debate between party representatives.

7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 23/45. The Scotland chefs hope to impress with their main dishes.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). See Choices Above. 7.30 Britain’s Got Talent (S,HD). 12/18. Ant and Dec host the third semi-final of the contest.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S,HD). 7.55 Party Election Broadcast (S,HD). Political broadcast.

7.00 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). 4/10. Dan Brigginshaw tracks down a driver who has given him the slip on the side roads of Spalding.

8.00 Location, Location, Location (R,S,HD). Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer help two sets of first-time buyers who are struggling to find homes in Southampton and the New Forest.

8.00 The Great Fire: London Burns (S,HD). 1/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 24 Hours in A&E (S,HD). New series. Three young men from different walks of life are brought in to the A&E department of St George’s Hospital in London, including a 17-year-old who has serious stab wounds.

9.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away (S,HD). 11/30. Officers chase £4,500 in court fees in North Wales after a property deal turned sour, and in Birmingham the agents try to collect over £3,500 from a single mum.

Pointless, 5.15pm

9.00 Coronation Street (S,HD). Nick is sucked deeper into quicksand. 9.30 Britain’s Got Talent Results (S,HD). 13/18. Ant and Dec host the nationwide talent search.

▼

9.00 Bake Off: Creme de la Creme (S,HD). 9/9. Angus Deayton hosts the grand final of the pastry chef contest, with the contestants spending eight hours preparing desserts for a party at Firle Place, Sussex. Last in the series.

10.00 BBC News at Ten (S,HD). 10.30 Regional News (S). Followed by Regional Programme. 10.45 A Question of Sport: The Highlights (S,HD). Looking back at a selection of the best moments from the series.

10.00 White Gold (S,HD). 2/6. See Choices Above. 10.30 Election Spy (S). A comic look behind the scenes at the political parties. 10.35 Newsnight (S,HD).

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S); Weather. 10.45 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.55 On Assignment (S,HD). 3/5. Rageh Omaar reports from Istanbul a year on from the failed coup.

10.00 Fargo (S). 1/10. See Choices Above.

10.00 The Butcher Surgeon: Why Wasn’t He Stopped? (S,HD). See Choices Above.

▼

after

9.00 The Met: Policing London (S,HD). 2/6. See Choices Above.

11.15 The Truth About HIV (R,S,HD). Chris van Tulleken explores the latest science surrounding the HIV virus.

11.15 Weather (S,HD). 11.20 The Fifteen Billion Pound Railway: The Final Countdown (R,S,HD). 2/2. Part two of two. Engineers must construct and fit out a new station at Paddington.

11.30 British Touring Car Championship Highlights (S,HD). Steve Rider presents action from round four at Oulton Park.

11.25 999: What’s Your Emergency? (R,S,HD). 13/13. How emergency service staff have to learn to deal with death on a daily basis. Last in the series.

11.05 Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords (R,S,HD). 7/16. A letting agent who broke into his clients’ house and changed the locks.

▼

10 11

8.00 Springwatch 2017 (S,HD). 3/12. Chris Packham, Michaela Strachan and Martin HughesGames present the annual series charting the fortunes of British wildlife during the changing of the seasons.

▼ ▼

6 7 8 9

Bake Off: Creme de la Creme, 9pm

6.00 BBC News at Six; Weather (S,HD). 6.30 Regional News (S). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast (S,HD). By the Green Party.

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

12.15 Weather for the Week Ahead (S,HD). 12.20 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 The Women’s Football Show (S,HD). 12.55 Sign Zone: The Truth About Sleep (R,S). The consequences of sleep deprivation – and how to get more. 1.55 Sign Zone: Trust Me, I’m a Vet (R,S). A team of practising vets seek out the very best advice for taking care of your pet. 2.55 This Is BBC Two (S,HD). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.55 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 1000 Heartbeats (R,S,HD). Quiz show, hosted by Vernon Kay. 3.50 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences.

12.25 Naked Attraction (R,S,HD). 1.15 Film: Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (S,HD) (1999). See Choices Above. ●● 2.45 Location, Location, Location (R,S,HD). 3.40 Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb (S,HD). Three rival London sellers take design ideas from Amanda. 4.40 Shipping Wars UK (R,S,HD). 5.05 Fifteen To One (R,S,HD).

12.05 Benefits Britain: Life on the Dole (R,S,HD). Young people living on state welfare. 1.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Wentworth Prison (R,S,HD). 4.00 Witches: A Century of Murder (R,S,HD). 4.45 House Doctor (R,S). 5.10 Divine Designs (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

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Dan Jones, Suzannah Lipscomb and Rob Bell take a look at the Great Fire of London by walking the route the fire took across the city, hour-by-hour and street-by-street.

Documentary profiling former breast surgeon Ian Paterson, who was recently convicted of intentionally wounding patients for more than a decade. This programme examines how was he able to continue for so long.

FILM PICKS

THE BUTCHER SURGEON: WHY WASN’T HE STOPPED? 10pm, Channel 5

THE GREAT FIRE: LONDON BURNS 8pm, Channel 5

THE WOLVERINE 9pm, Film4

The former member of the X-Men travels to Japan, and protects a tycoon’s granddaughter from assassins. Superhero adventure, with Hugh Jackman.

ITV2

Sky1

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 8.00 Monkey Life (R,S). 9.00 David Attenborough’s Galapagos (R,S,HD). 10.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 4.00 Haven (R,S,HD). Nathan and Audrey search the woods for a serial killer. 5.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 10.00 Premier League Years (S). 12.00 Darts (HD). The Gibraltar Darts Trophy. 1.00 Premier League Legends (HD). 3.00 Darts (HD). The Gibraltar Darts Trophy. 4.00 Football’s Greatest Players (S). 5.00 Sky Sports Boxing Gold (S,HD). 5.30 Darts Gold (S,HD).

DEUCE BIGALOW: MALE GIGOLO 1.15am, Channel 4

Comedy, starring Rob Schneider, William Forsythe, Eddie Griffin, Arija Bareikis, Oded Fehr, Gail O’Grady and Richard Riehle.

Alibi 11.00 Sue Thomas: FBEye. (T) 12.00 The Doctor Blake Mysteries. (T) 1.00 New Tricks. (T) 3.00 Castle. (T) 4.00 Sue Thomas: FBEye. (T) 5.00 New Tricks. (T) 7.00 The Doctor Blake Mysteries. (T) 8.00 Father Brown. (T) 9.00 New Tricks. (T) 10.00 Rosewood. (T) 11.00 Rizzoli & Isles. (T) 12.00 Murdoch Mysteries. (T) 2.00 Sue Thomas: FBEye. (T) 2.50 The Closer. (T) 4.00 Home Shopping.

Dave

MasterChef Australia. (T) 2.35 Betty White’s Off Their Rockers. (T) 3.00 Home Shopping.

Yesterday

9.35 Coast. (T) 10.00 Antiques Roadshow. (T) 11.00 Raiders of the Lost Past. (T) 12.00 Battleplan. (T) 1.00 Coast. (T) 2.00 Secrets of the Terracotta Warriors – Secret History. 3.00 Goodnight Sweetheart. (T) 3.40 One Foot in the Grave. (T) 5.00 Raiders of the Lost Past. (T) 6.00 Battleplan. (T) 7.00 Coast. (T) 8.00 Abandoned Engineering. (T) 9.00 Open All Hours. (T) 10.20 Goodnight Sweetheart. (T) 11.00 Coast. (T) 12.00 Battleplan. (T) 1.00 Raiders of the Lost Past. (T) 2.00 Surviving the Holocaust – Freddie Knoller’s War. (T) 3.00 Teleshopping.

10.00 American Pickers. (T) 12.00 Lizard Lick Towing. (T) 1.00 Top Gear. (T) 3.00 Sin City Motors. (T) 4.00 Steve Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge. 5.00 Top Gear. (T) 8.00 Sin City Motors. 9.00 Live at the Apollo. 10.00 Unspun with Matt Forde. 10.35 Mock the Week. (T) 11.55 Would I Lie to You? (T) 1.10 QI. (T) 1.50 7.00 100 Days+. (T) 7.00 Weather. (T) 7.30 Mock the Week. (T) 3.05 Would I Lie to You? Great British Railway Journeys. (T) 8.00 (T) 4.00 Home Shopping. Timeshift: Bridging the Gap – How the Severn Bridge Was Built. (T) 9.00 Koko: The Gorilla Who Talks to People. (T) 10.00 The Girl Who Darts, 6pm Talked to Dolphins. (T) 11.00 Unlocking the Cage: Storyville. (T) 12.25 Queen of Tigers: 11.00 The Bill. (T) 1.00 Last of the Summer 6.00 Darts (HD). The Wine. (T) 1.40 Waiting for God. (T) 2.20 Birds Natural World Special. (T) 1.25 The Mystery of Gibraltar Darts Trophy. of a Feather. (T) 3.00 Boon. (T) 4.00 Monarch Murder: A Horizon Guide. (T) 2.25 Mud, Sweat and Tractors: The Story of Agriculture. of the Glen. 5.00 All Creatures Great and Small. (T) 6.00 Waiting for God. (T) 6.40 Last (T) 3.25 Close. of the Summer Wine. (T) 7.20 Keeping Up Appearances. (T) 8.00 Dalziel & Pascoe. (T) Silent Witness. (T) 12.10 The Bill. (T) 7.00 Premier League World 10.00 1.10 Birds of a Feather. (T) 1.55 Pie in the Sky. 11.00 Doctor Dolittle. (1967) (T) 2.00 Casper. (S,HD). A round-up of the (T) 2.40 Boon. (T) 4.00 Home Shopping. (1995) (T) 4.15 Starman. (1984) (T) 6.30 latest news. Vertical Limit. (2000) Action adventure, 7.30 Fight Night (HD). starring Chris O’Donnell. (T) 9.00 The Anthony Joshua v Wolverine. (2013) Superhero adventure spinWladimir Klitschko. off, starring Hugh Jackman. (T) 11.30 Season 9.20 dinnerladies. (T) 10.00 Last of the of the Witch. (2011) Fantasy adventure, Summer Wine. (T) 12.00 Only Fools and Horses. (T) 12.40 My Family. (T) 1.20 My Hero. starring Nicolas Cage. (T) 1.15 Van Helsing. (2004) (T) 4.00 Close. (T) 2.00 Ever Decreasing Circles. (T) 2.40 dinnerladies. (T) 3.20 As Time Goes By. (T) 4.00 Last of the Summer Wine. (T) 6.00 My Family. (T) 6.40 Gavin & Stacey. (T) 8.00 Open All Hours. (T) 8.40 Citizen Khan. (T) 9.20 The Fast Show. 10.00 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow. 11.00 Peep Show. (T) 11.35 French and 9.30 Sky Sports Boxing Gold Saunders. (T) 12.15 You, Me & (S,HD). Kevin Mitchell v Them. (T) 12.55 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. John Murray. (T) 1.50 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow. 2.45 The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer. (T)

BBC4

The Keith and … 9pm

Supernatural, 10pm

MacGyver, 8pm

6.30 Britain’s Got Talent Results (R,S,HD). 11/18. Ant and Dec announce which acts have made it through to the final.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 6/24. Sheldon’s mother comes to visit. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 7/24.

6.00 Futurama (R,S). 10/16. Hermes misses out on promotion. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 15/22.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (R,S). A dog has an encounter with a shark. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (R,S). /24.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Sienna does not want to leave Warren. 7.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 9/24.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 16/22. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 17/22. Bart gets involved with the Mafia.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 13/16. Alan spies on Charlie and Lindsey. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 14/16. Rose moves back to the beach with her new husband.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 10/24. Sheldon is driven to distraction when a tune becomes stuck in his head. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 24/24.

8.00 MacGyver (S,HD). 17/22. Angus and the team are blamed for a terrorist bombing.

9.00 The Keith and Paddy Picture Show (R,S,HD). 2/5. The duo put their own spin on the classic 1984 comedy Ghostbusters. 9.30 Family Guy at the Movies (R,S,HD). 2/14.

9.00 The 100 (S,HD). 9/13. Clarke struggles to find a way to keep the peace between the clans after information regarding Jaha’s discovery begins to spread. Drama set 97 years after a nuclear Armageddon.

9.00 The Blacklist (S,HD). 17/22. Red’s past catches up with him and sets him on a dangerous collision course with an enemy determined to destroy his criminal empire. Crime thriller, starring James Spader.

Drama

Film4

GOLD

Really

10.00 Premier League World 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 10.00 Britain’s Got More 10.00 Supernatural (S,HD). (S,HD). A round-up of (R,HD). 22/24. Callen, Talent (S,HD). Stephen 22/23. Sam and Dean are the latest news. Sam and the team Mulhern hosts the caught in a dangerous continue to work with companion show to the situation with only each 10.30 Football Gold (S,HD). Hetty’s former Vietnam talent competition, other to rely on. The Cardiff City v Liverpool War colleagues as they going behind the scenes fight between the from the 2013/14 begin a risky to uncover all the latest British and American Premier League season. investigation into a gold 10.45 Football Gold (S,HD). news, views and gossip hunters comes to a heist. from the programme. head. With Jared Crystal Palace v Padalecki. Liverpool.

9.00 Escape to the Country. (T) 10.00 Wanted Down Under. 11.00 Animal SOS. 12.00 DIY SOS Special. (T) 1.00 Homes Under the Hammer. (T) 2.00 Escape to the Country. (T) 3.00 Wanted Down Under. 4.00 My Ghost Story. (T) 5.00 Ghost Adventures. (T) 6.00 Animal SOS. 7.00 Escape to the Country. (T) 8.00 DIY SOS Special. (T) 9.00 Motorway Cops. (T) 10.00 Super Rich: The Billion Dollar Hotel. (T) 11.00 Women Behind Bars. 12.00 Evil Up Close. (T) 1.00 Dr G: Medical Examiner. (T) 2.00 Home Shopping. 4.00 Cheaters. (T) 4.45 Secret Eaters. 5.35 Charly’s Cake Angels. (T)

11.00 Football’s Greatest 11.00 Modern Family Teams (S,HD). 5/16. The (R,S,HD). 9/22. Manny Bayern Munich team that and Luke put on a won the European Cup winter ball at the school. three times in a row. 11.30 Modern Family 6.10 Judge Faith. 7.00 My Dream 11.30 Football’s Greatest (R,S,HD). 10/22. Home. (T) 8.00 Four in a Bed. (T) Players (S,HD).

12.05 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.35 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 1.05 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.30 Bordertown (R,S,HD). 1.55 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 2.25 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 12.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). Kono goes on the run. Last in the series. 2.00 Ross Kemp: Extreme World (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Last Ship (R,S,HD). 4.00 Monkey Life (R,S). 4.30 Monkey Life (R,S). 5.00 Wild Vets (R,S). 5.30 Wild Vets (R,S).

RADIO

11.00 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). (R,S,HD). 23/23. Penny 5/21. Peter fights with gets drunk and seduces his friends over a trophy. Leonard. 11.30 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 6/21. Death turns up in 11.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12/24. Quahog to claim Peter. 12.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12.30 Tattoo Fixers (R,S,HD). 1.35 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 2.30 The 100 (R,S,HD). 3.15 Supernatural (R,S,HD). 4.00 The Mindy Project (R,S,HD). 4.20 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.40 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD).

Radio 1 6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with Nick Grimshaw. 10.00 Clara Amfo. 12.45pm Newsbeat. 1.00 Scott Mills. 4.00 Greg James. 5.45 Newsbeat. 6.00 Greg James. 7.00 MistaJam. 9.00 The Surgery with Gemma & Dr Radha. 10.00 Huw Stephens. 1.00am Benji B. 4.00 Adele Roberts. Radio 2 5.00am Vanessa Feltz. 6.30 Sara Cox. 9.30 Fearne Cotton. Noon Jeremy Vine. 2.00 Steve Wright in the Afternoon. 5.00 Suzi Perry. 7.00 The Folk Show with Mark Radcliffe. 8.00 Jo Whiley. 10.00 Sgt Pepper Forever. 11.00 Quatrophonic. Midnight Pick of the Pops. 2.00 Radio 2 Playlists: Country Playlist. 3.00 Radio 2 Playlists: Relax. 4.00

Radio 2 Playlist: Radio 2 Rocks. Radio 3 6.30am Breakfast. 9.00 Essential Classics. Noon Composer of the Week: Clarke. 1.00 News. 1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert. 2.00 Afternoon on 3. 3.30 Choral Evensong. 4.30 In Tune. 6.30 Composer of the Week: Clarke. 7.30 Radio 3 in Concert. 10.00 Free Thinking. 10.45 Hay Essays: How to Write a Book. 11.00 Late Junction. 12.30am Through the Night. Radio 4 5.30am News Briefing. 5.43 Prayer for the Day. 5.45 Farming Today. 5.58 Tweet of the Day. 6.00 Today. 9.00 Soul Music. 9.30 John Cleese Presents. 9.45 (LW) Daily Service. 9.45 (FM) Book of the Week: Farewell to the Horse.

12.00 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 12.30 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 1.00 Premier League Legends (S,HD). 1.30 Premier League Legends (S,HD). 2.00 Premier League Years (S,HD). 4.00 Sporting Heroes: Gary Newbon Interviews AP McCoy (S,HD). 5.00 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD).

10.00 Woman’s Hour. 10.56 The Listening Project. 11.00 Breakfast with the Disruptors. 11.30 It’s a Fair Cop. Noon News. 12.01 (LW) Shipping Forecast. 12.04 Home Front. 12.15 You and Yours. 1.00 The World at One. 1.56 Weather. 2.00 The Archers. 2.15 Drama: Orpheus and Eurydice. 3.00 Money Box Live. 3.30 All in the Mind. 4.00 Thinking Allowed. 4.30 The Media Show. 5.00 PM. 5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast. 6.00 Six O’Clock News. 6.30 John Finnemore’s Double Acts. 7.00 The Archers. 7.15 Front Row. Arts programme 7.45 (LW) Bindi Business. 7.45 (FM) Bindi Business. 8.00 FutureProofing. The wider social and cultural implications of modern

scientific advances 8.45 Electionomics. 9.00 Costing the Earth. Botanist James Wong investigates the impact of global warming on plants 9.30 Soul Music. Emotional responses to Wagner’s symphonic poem 9.59 Weather. 10.00 The World Tonight. With Ritula Shah 10.45 Book at Bedtime: F Scott Fitzgerald: The Lost Stories. 11.00 Woof – One Man’s Search for a Dog or a Boyfriend. 11.15 Beef and Dairy Network. 11.30 Life at LIPA. Three performing arts students take listeners behind the scenes Midnight News and Weather. 12.30 Book of the Week: Farewell to the Horse. 12.45 Sailing By. 12.48 Shipping Forecast. 1.00 As BBC

9.00 Road Cops. 10.00 The Bill. (T) 11.00 Tipping Point. 1.00 Hairy Bikers’ Best of British. (T) 3.00 Four in a Bed. (T) 4.00 CSI: NY. (T) 6.00 Tipping Point. 7.00 The Hotel Inspector. (T) 8.00 Supernanny. (T) 9.00 Inside the Ambulance. (T) 10.00 KKK: The Fight for White Supremacy. 11.20 Stacey Dooley in the USA: Giving Up My Baby. (T) 12.20 Tipping Point. 1.20 World Service. 5.20 Shipping Forecast. Radio 5 Live 5.00am Morning Reports. 5.15 Wake Up to Money. 6.00 5 Live Breakfast. 10.00 5 Live Daily with Emma Barnett. 1.00pm Afternoon Edition. 4.00 5 Live Drive. 7.00 5 Live Sport. 7.30 The BBC Election Debate. 9.00 5 Live Sport: The Tuffers and Vaughan Cricket Show. 10.30 Phil Williams. 1.00am Up All Night. Classic FM 6.00am More Music Breakfast. 9.00 John Suchet. 1.00pm Anne-Marie Minhall. 5.00 Classic FM Drive. 7.00 Smooth Classics at Seven. 8.00 The Full Works Concert. 10.00 Smooth Classics. 1.00am Sam Pittis.

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Thursday’s Television Guide TV PICKS

FRANK SKINNER ON MUHAMMAD ALI 9pm, BBC1

BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT 7.30pm, ITV

Ant and Dec welcome another eight acts onto the stage. Only the most impressive will have a chance of performing for royalty later this year, and to add to the tension, judges Simon Cowell, David Walliams, Amanda Holden and Alesha Dixon can still buzz off a disastrous contestant at this point in the competition.

The comedian explores the boxer’s life, meeting his brother, and visiting the training compound where he prepared for the Rumble in the Jungle.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Countryfile Spring Diaries (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (S,HD). 11.00 Rip Off Britain: Food (S,HD). 11.45 Close Calls: On Camera (R,S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S,HD). 1.00 BBC News at One; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 !mpossible (S,HD). 3.00 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 3.45 Yes Chef (S,HD). 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (R,S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

BBC2

6.30 Rip Off Britain: Food (R,S,HD). 7.15 Yes Chef (R,S,HD). 8.00 Sign Zone: Bake Off: Creme de la Creme (R,S). 9.00 Victoria Derbyshire (S,HD). 11.00 BBC Newsroom Live (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S,HD). 1.00 Two Tribes (R,S,HD). 1.30 Family Finders (R,S,HD). 2.15 Red Rock (R,S,HD). 3.00 Hairy Bikers’ Best of British (R,S,HD). 3.45 Elephant Diaries (R,S). 4.15 Pilgrimage with Simon Reeve (R,S,HD). 5.15 Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD).

KAT AND ALFIE: REDWATER 8pm, BBC1

THE SUPERVET 8pm, Channel 4

Kathleen finally gets good news, and Eileen wonders whether she and Kieran should stay in Ireland for good. Drama, starring Jessie Wallace.

ITV

6.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S,HD). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S,HD). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). With actress Denise Black. 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Judge Rinder (R,S,HD). Real-life cases in a studio courtroom. 3.00 Masterpiece with Alan Titchmarsh (S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

Documentary following the work of veterinary practice Fitzpatrick Referrals, where Noel Fitzpatrick and his team help some of the nation’s hardest-to-cure pets. A man travels through the night to bring his much-loved doberman down from Cumbria to see Noel about a diseased spinal cord.

Channel 4

7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 8.35 Frasier (R,S). 10.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (R,S). 11.00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary (S,HD). 12.05 Couples Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R,S,HD). 2.10 Countdown (S,HD). 3.00 Fifteen To One (S,HD). 4.00 Coast vs Country (S,HD). 5.00 Four in a Bed (S,HD). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! (HD). 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.15 The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.15 Film: Alone in the Wild: Deadly Survival (S,HD) (2013). Family drama, starring Natasha Henstridge. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

Celebrity Eggheads, 6.45pm

Emmerdale, 7pm

Hollyoaks, 6.30pm

Nightmare Tenants, Slum ... 9pm

▼

6.00 BBC News at Six; Weather 6.30 Regional News (S). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast (S,HD). By the UK Independence Party.

6.00 Debatable (S,HD). 32/33. With Phil Tufnell, Michael Buerk and Naga Munchetty. 6.45 Celebrity Eggheads (S,HD). 21/22.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 Party Election Broadcast (S,HD). By the UK Independence Party. 6.30 ITV News (S); Weather.

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 7/22. Apu’s wife has octuplets. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Sienna does not want to leave Warren.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). 6.30 5 News Tonight (S,HD). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast: UK Independence Party (S,HD). By the UK Independence Party.

▼

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Topical stories from around the UK. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Steven prepares a romantic meal for Lauren. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 24/45. The Scotland chefs prepare desserts.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). 7.30 Britain’s Got Talent (S,HD). 14/18. See Choices Above.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S,HD). 7.55 Party Election Broadcast (S,HD). Political broadcast.

7.00 Secrets of Great British Castles (R,S,HD). 1/6. Historian Dan Jones heads south east of England to explore the turbulent history of Dover Castle.

▼

6 7 8 9

EastEnders, 7.30pm

8.00 Kat and Alfie: Redwater (S,HD). 3/6. See Choices Above.

8.00 Springwatch 2017 (S,HD). 4/12. Martin Hughes-Games and Iolo Williams track down the elusive sand lizard in north Wales, and Chris Packham and Michaela Strachan present the latest from the Sherborne Estate.

8.00 The Supervet (S,HD). See Choices Above.

8.00 The Great Fire: Death and Destruction (S,HD). 2/3. See Choices Above.

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 Frank Skinner on Muhammad Ali (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Paula (S,HD). 2/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 Coronation Street (S,HD). A furious Nathan punishes Bethany for her drunken behaviour. 9.30 Britain’s Got Talent Results (S,HD). 15/18. Two more finalists are revealed.

9.00 Catching a Killer (S,HD). Thames Valley Police’s investigation into the disappearance of 31-year-old Natalie Hemming in 2016, following the case though to the arrest and the tragic conclusion.

9.00 Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords (S,HD). 13/16. Catching up with past stories, including a woman who rented her cottage for three months, only for her tenant to still be there four years later – and not paying any rent.

▼

after

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S); Weather. 10.45 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.55 Car Wars UK (S,HD). The work of Northumbria’s traffic officers, as they deal with incidents including a vehicle falling from the sky and a man being thrown from a car while performing a U-turn.

10.45 One Killer Punch (R,S,HD). Documentary exploring the consequences of deadly single hits, from a row over a parking space in a supermarket car park to an unanticipated fight outside a nightclub.

10.00 The World’s Heaviest Child: Extraordinary People (S,HD). The story of an 11-year-old from Indonesia who weighs 30 stone, following doctors’ attempts to determine the root cause of his massive weight gain.

▼

10.00 QI (R,S,HD). 4/18. With guests Jason Manford, Sara Pascoe and Jeremy Clarkson. 10.30 Election Spy (S). Political comedy. 10.35 Newsnight (S,HD).

11.45 This Week (S,HD). The past seven days in politics.

11.15 Weather (S,HD). 11.20 Jane Austen: Behind Closed Doors (R,S,HD). Lucy Worsley visits some of the many locations that helped inspire Jane Austen’s work.

11.55 Tipping Point (R,S,HD). 138/175. Game show, hosted by Ben Shephard.

11.45 First Dates (R,S,HD). A ladies’ man hopes to find romance with a PR manager.

11.05 Restless Legs Syndrome: Desperate for Help (R,S,HD). Documentary about people with a compulsion to constantly move their feet.

▼

10.00 BBC News at Ten (S,HD). 10.30 Regional News (S). 10.45 Question Time (S,HD). 32/37. Topical debate from East Barnet in north London, chaired by David Dimbleby.

12.35 Weather for the Week Ahead (S,HD). 12.40 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 Sign Zone: Dara and Ed’s Road to Mandalay (R,S). Comedians Dara O Briain and Ed Byrne explore South East Asia. 1.20 Sign Zone: Second Chance Summer: Tuscany (R,S). The group prepare to host a traditional Italian wedding. 2.15 This Is BBC Two (S,HD). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.50 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences. 3.55 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences.

12.45 Bizarre ER (S,HD). New series. The most unexpected cases from A&E departments around the UK. 1.40 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (R,S). 2.30 Location, Location, Location (R,S,HD). 3.25 Loaded (R,S,HD). 4.15 Grayson Perry: Divided Britain (R,S,HD). 5.10 Fifteen To One (R,S,HD).

12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Wentworth Prison (R,S,HD). Simone is back inside Wentworth and determined to overthrow Franky. 4.00 Now That’s Funny! (R,S,HD). Internetsourced videos with an amusing family friendly hook. 4.45 House Doctor (R,S). Highlights of the series. 5.10 Divine Designs (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

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In the wake of Philip’s death, Paula notices some things missing from her home and wonders whether James was involved, while the handyman becomes more troubled and goes on the run.

The team continues to walk the path of the infamous inferno, uncovering what really happened on the worst day of the four-day rampage. Dan Jones charts the destruction of the city’s buildings, including London’s spiritual home St Paul’s Cathedral.

FILM PICKS

THE GREAT FIRE: DEATH AND DESTRUCTION 8pm, Channel 5

PAULA 9pm, BBC2

INSTINCT 11.10pm, Film4

A psychologist probes the mind of an imprisoned primatologist to discover what drove him to murder. Drama, with Anthony Hopkins.

ITV2

Sky1

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 8.00 Monkey Life (R,S). 9.00 Making Attenborough’s Galapagos (R,S,HD). 10.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). The team is assigned to protect a fashion model. 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 4.00 Haven (R,HD). 5.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Premier League World (S,HD). 9.30 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 10.00 Premier League Years (S). 12.00 Darts (HD). The Gibraltar Darts Trophy. 1.00 Great Sporting Moments (HD). 2.00 Premier League Legends (S,HD). 3.00 Darts (HD). 4.00 Football’s Greatest Players (S,HD). 5.00 Darts Gold (S,HD).

SMALL SOLDIERS 6.50pm, Film4

A computer chip brings a squad of toy soldiers to life, causing mayhem for their owner. Children’s adventure, with Kirsten Dunst and Gregory Smith.

Alibi

Tipping Point. 7.00 The Hotel Inspector. (T) 8.00 Supernanny. (T) 9.00 John Bishop: In Conversation with Charlotte Church. (T) 10.00 10.00 Castle. (T) 11.00 Sue Thomas: FBEye. (T) EastEnders. (T) 10.40 Miranda. (T) 11.20 Tipping Point. 12.20 MasterChef Australia. (T) 12.00 The Doctor Blake Mysteries. (T) 1.00 1.20 Grimm. (T) 2.10 Resurrection. (T) 3.00 New Tricks. (T) 3.00 Castle. (T) 4.00 Sue Home Shopping. Thomas: FBEye. (T) 5.00 New Tricks. (T) 7.00 The Doctor Blake Mysteries. (T) 8.00 New Tricks. (T) 9.00 Quantico. (T) 10.00 Death in Paradise. (T) 11.00 Murdoch Mysteries. (T) 1.00 Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries. (T) 2.00 10.00 Antiques Roadshow. (T) 11.00 Raiders Sue Thomas: FBEye. (T) 2.50 Murdoch of the Lost Past. (T) 12.00 Battleplan. 1.00 Mysteries. (T) 4.00 Home Shopping. Coast. (T) 2.00 Abandoned Engineering. (T) 3.00 Goodnight Sweetheart. (T) 3.40 Open All Hours. (T) 5.00 Raiders of the Lost Past. (T) 6.00 Battleplan. 7.00 Coast. (T) 8.00 A Tale of 6.00 Home Shopping. 7.00 American Pickers. Two Sisters. (T) 9.00 Steptoe and Son. (T) 9.40 Open All Hours. (T) 10.20 Goodnight (T) 9.00 Storage Hunters UK. (T) 10.00 Sweetheart. (T) 11.00 Coast. (T) 12.00 American Pickers. (T) 12.00 Lizard Lick Battleplan. 1.30 Raiders of the Lost Past. (T) Towing. (T) 1.00 Top Gear. (T) 3.00 Sin City 2.00 Secrets of War. (T) 3.00 Teleshopping. Motors. (T) 4.00 Steve Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge. 5.00 Top Gear. (T) 8.00 Dara O Briain’s Go 8 Bit. 9.00 Not Going Out. (T) 11.00 Mock the Week. (T) 12.20 QI. (T) 1.00 QI XL. (T) 2.00 Not Going Out. (T) 3.15 Lizard 7.00 100 Days+. (T) 7.00 Weather. (T) 7.30 Lick Towing. (T) 4.00 Home Shopping. Sounds of the Eighties. (T) 8.00 Fossil Wonderlands: Nature’s Hidden Treasures. (T) 9.00 The Great Village Green Crusade. (T) 10.30 Engineering Giants: Gas Rig Strip-Down. (T) 11.30 Catching History’s Criminals: The 11.00 The Bill. (T) 1.00 Last of the Summer Wine. (T) 1.40 Waiting for God. (T) 2.20 Birds Forensics Story. (T) 12.30 Sound of Cinema: of a Feather. (T) 3.00 Boon. (T) 4.00 Monarch The Music That Made the Movies. (T) 1.30 Arena: American Epic. (T) 2.30 The Great of the Glen. 5.00 All Creatures Great and Small. (T) 6.00 Waiting for God. (T) 6.40 Last Village Green Crusade. (T) 4.00 Close. of the Summer Wine. (T) 7.20 Keeping Up Appearances. (T) 8.00 Hetty Wainthropp Investigates. (T) 9.00 New Tricks. (T) 10.00 Silent Witness. (T) 12.05 The Bill. (T) 1.05 11.00 Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea. Birds of a Feather. (T) 1.45 Pie in the Sky. (T) (1961) (T) 1.10 Carry On Jack. (1963) (T) 2.55 2.40 Boon. (T) 3.30 Garden Hopping. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules. (2011) (T) 4.55 Napoleon Dynamite. (2004) (T) 6.50 Small Soldiers. (1998) (T) 9.00 2 Guns. (2013) (T) 11.10 Instinct. (1999) (T) 1.35 Ruby Sparks. (2012) (T) 3.55 Close. 10.00 Last of the Summer Wine. (T) 12.00 Open All Hours. (T) 12.40 My Family. (T) 1.20 My Hero. (T) 2.00 Ever Decreasing Circles. (T) 2.40 dinnerladies. (T) 3.20 As Time Goes By. (T) 4.00 Last of the Summer Wine. (T) 6.00 My Family. (T) 6.40 Porridge. (T) 7.20 Only Fools and Horses. (T) 8.00 Citizen Khan. (T) 8.40 The Fast Show. 9.20 Mrs Brown’s Boys. 10.00 Peep Show. (T) 10.30 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow. 11.30 Film: The Full Monty (1997) Comedy, starring Robert Carlyle. 1.20 French and Saunders. (T) 2.35 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow. 3.25 The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer. (T) 4.00 Home Shopping.

Yesterday

Dave

BBC4

The Keith and … 9pm

New Girl, 9.30pm

Arrow, 9pm

Live Darts, 7pm

6.30 Britain’s Got Talent Results (R,S,HD). 13/18. Ant and Dec host the nationwide talent search.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 8/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 9/24.

6.00 Futurama (R,S). 11/16. The Professor chooses his successor. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 18/22.

6.00 Darts (HD). The Gibraltar Darts Trophy.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold Strikes Back! (R,S). Harry Hill’s most off-the-wall observations inspired by viewers’ home videos.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Goldie gets her job back at the salon. 7.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1/24.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 19/22. Mr Burns decides to open his own university. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,HD). 20/22.

7.00 Live World Cup of Darts (HD). Coverage of the opening day of the doubles event.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 15/16. Alan persuades members of the family to give him money. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 16/16.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2/24. 8.30 Kevin Can Wait (S). 7/24. Kevin and Donna refuse to celebrate Halloween.

8.00 Beneath the Black: A Journey Through New Zealand Rugby (HD). A look at what makes New Zealand so successful at rugby union.

9.00 Arrow (S,HD). 23/23. 9.00 The Keith and Paddy 9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine Oliver recruits a group of Picture Show (R,S,HD). (S,HD). 19/22. Captain unlikely allies for a final 3/5. Keith Lemon and Holt’s mother is burgled. showdown on Lian Yu Paddy McGuinness 9.30 New Girl (S). 7/22. A against Chase and his remake Return of the series of problems ruins band of villains. Jedi. Thanksgiving dinner. Superhero adventure, 9.30 Family Guy at the starring Stephen Amell. Movies (R,S,HD). 1/30. Last in the series. Peter and Lois go on a second honeymoon. 10.00 Jamestown (R,S,HD). 10.00 Britain’s Got More 10.00 The Inbetweeners 4/8. Rumours of a gold Talent (S,HD). Stephen (R,S,HD). 3/6. Simon mine sends a stir of Mulhern goes behind faces a dilemma. suspicion through the the scenes of the 10.35 The Inbetweeners settlement, and Jocelyn penultimate semi-final, (R,S,HD). 4/6. The gang forces a reluctant catching up with the visits a university. Samuel to help her find presenters and judges, the map, while James and asking his guests Read clashes with the what they thought of governor. the show. 11.05 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Modern Family 11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). (R,S,HD). 14/24. (R,S,HD). 13/22. Phil 7/21. Lois becomes a persuades Jay to help theatre director. 11.35 The Big Bang Theory him develop a property. (R,S,HD). 15/24. Leonard 11.30 Family Guy (R,S,HD). and Howard send 11.30 Modern Family 3/21. Civilisation is Sheldon on a train trip. (R,S,HD). 14/22. destroyed in a millennial apocalypse.

RADIO

12.00 American Dad! (R,S,HD). A marriage counsellor hypnotises Francine. 12.30 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 1.00 Mom (S,HD). 1.25 Through the Keyhole (R,S,HD). With Craig Charles, Fearne Cotton and Dave Berry. 2.25 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.05 Tattoo Fixers (R,S,HD). 1.10 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 2.10 Rude Tube (R,S). 2.35 The Inbetweeners (R,S,HD). 3.05 The Inbetweeners (R,S,HD). 3.30 Kevin Can Wait (R,S). 3.55 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 4.15 New Girl (R,S). 4.40 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD).

Radio 1 6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with Nick Grimshaw. 10.00 Clara Amfo. 12.45pm Newsbeat. 1.00 Scott Mills. 4.00 Greg James. 5.45 Newsbeat. 6.00 Greg James. 7.00 MistaJam. 9.00 Radio 1’s Artist Takeover with. 10.00 BBC Radio 1’s Residency – Deadmau5. Midnight BBC Radio 1’s Residency – Will Atkinson. 1.00 Toddla T. 4.00 Adele Roberts. Radio 2 5.00am Vanessa Feltz. 6.30 Sara Cox. 9.30 Fearne Cotton. Noon Jeremy Vine. 2.00 Steve Wright in the Afternoon. 5.00 Suzi Perry. 7.00 Bob Harris Country. 8.00 Jo Whiley. 10.00 The Radio 2 Arts Show with Jonathan Ross. Midnight The Craig Charles

12.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 12.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.00 Duck Quacks Don’t Echo (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Last Ship (R,S,HD). 4.00 Monkey Life (R,S). 4.30 Monkey Life (R,S). 5.00 The Dog Whisperer (R,S). 5.30 The Dog Whisperer (R,S).

House Party. 2.00 Radio 2’s Tracks of My Years Playlist. 3.00 Radio 2 Playlists: Have A Great Weekend. 4.00 Radio 2 Playlists: Feelgood Friday. Radio 3 6.30am Breakfast. 9.00 Essential Classics. Noon Composer of the Week: Clarke. 1.00 News. 1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert. 2.00 Afternoon on 3. 4.30 In Tune. 6.30 Composer of the Week: Clarke. 7.30 Radio 3 in Concert. 10.00 Free Thinking. 10.45 Hay Essays: How to Write a Book. 11.00 Late Junction. 12.30am Through the Night. Radio 4 5.30am News Briefing. 5.43 Prayer for the Day. 5.45 Farming Today. 5.58 Tweet of the Day. 6.00 Today.

Drama

Film4

GOLD

Really

6.00 Helicopter Heroes. (T) 7.00 Home Shopping. 8.00 Homes Under the Hammer. (T) 9.00 Escape to the Country. (T) 10.00 Wanted Down Under. 11.00 Animal SOS. 12.00 DIY SOS: The Big Build. (T) 1.00 Homes Under the Hammer. (T) 2.00 Escape to the Country. (T) 3.00 Wanted Down Under. 4.00 My Ghost Story. (T) 5.00 Ghost Adventures. (T) 6.00 Animal SOS. 7.00 Escape to the 11.00 Beneath the Black: A Journey Through New Country. (T) 8.00 DIY SOS: The Big Zealand Rugby (HD). A Build. (T) 9.00 Embarrassing Bodies. look at what makes New (T) 10.00 Millionaire Basement Zealand so successful at Wars. (T) 11.00 Women Behind Bars. 12.00 Evil Up Close. (T) 1.00 Dr G: rugby union. Medical Examiner. (T) 2.00 Home Shopping. 4.00 Helicopter Heroes. (T) 5.35 Give a Dog a Home. 12.00 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 12.30 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 1.00 Darts (HD). 2.00 Football’s Greatest Players 6.15 Boston’s Finest. 7.00 My Dream (S,HD). 2.30 Football’s Greatest Home. (T) 8.00 Four in a Bed. (T) Players (S,HD). 3.00 Darts Gold 9.00 Road Cops. 10.00 The Bill. (T) (S,HD). 3.30 Darts Gold (S,HD). 11.00 Tipping Point. 1.00 Hairy 4.00 Darts (HD). 5.00 Premier Bikers’ Best of British. (T) 3.00 Four League 100 Club (S,HD). in a Bed. (T) 4.00 CSI: NY. (T) 6.00

9.00 In Our Time. 9.45 (LW) Daily Service. 9.45 (FM) Book of the Week: Farewell to the Horse. 10.00 (LW) Woman’s Hour. 10.00 (FM) Woman’s Hour. 10.15 (LW) Test Match Special. 11.00 (FM) From Our Own Correspondent. 11.30 (FM) I Was. Noon (FM) News. 12.01 (LW) Shipping Forecast. 12.04 (LW) Test Match Special. 12.04 (FM) Home Front. 12.15 (FM) You and Yours. 12.57 (FM) Weather. 1.00 (FM) The World at One. 2.00 (FM) The Archers. 2.15 (FM) Drama: Slipping Through Time. 3.00 (FM) Ramblings. 3.27 (FM) Radio 4 Appeal. 3.30 (FM) Open Book. 4.00 (FM) The Film Programme. 4.30 (FM) BBC Inside

g ge d my a b I

DREAM JOB

Science. 5.00 (FM) PM. 5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast. 5.57 (LW) Test Match Special. 5.57 (FM) Weather. 6.00 (FM) Six O’Clock News. 6.30 Alex Horne Presents the Horne Section. 7.00 The Archers. 7.15 Front Row. 7.45 Bindi Business. 8.00 The Bottom Line: Can We Trust Big Business? An overview of the business world 9.00 BBC Inside Science. 9.30 In Our Time. 10.00 The World Tonight. 10.45 Book at Bedtime: F Scott Fitzgerald: The Lost Stories. 11.00 Thanks a Lot, Milton Jones! 11.30 Life at LIPA. Midnight News and Weather. 12.30 Book of the Week: Farewell to the Horse. 12.48 Shipping Forecast. 1.00 As BBC World Service. 5.20

Shipping Forecast. Radio 5 Live 5.00am Morning Reports. 5.15 Wake Up to Money. 6.00 5 Live Breakfast. 10.00 5 Live Daily with Emma Barnett. 1.00pm Afternoon Edition. 4.00 5 Live Drive. 7.00 5 Live Sport. 7.30 5 Live Sport: 5 Live Racing. 8.00 5 Live Sport: 5 Live Tennis. 9.00 5 Live Sport: 5 Live Rugby. 10.00 Question Time Extra Time. 1.00am Up All Night. Classic FM 6.00am More Music Breakfast. 9.00 John Suchet. 1.00pm Anne-Marie Minhall. 5.00 Classic FM Drive. 7.00 Smooth Classics at Seven. 8.00 The Full Works Concert. 10.00 Smooth Classics. 1.00am Sam Pittis.

Friday’s Television Guide TV PICKS

THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW 10.35pm, BBC1

CORONATION STREET 9pm, ITV

David, Shona, Sarah and Gary race to the tanning salon, and although Shona explains to them what has been going on, Bethany refuses to believe their claims about Nathan. Elsewhere, Leanne cries over her loss, and will Ken’s attacker be brought to justice?

Tom Cruise and Annabel Wallis discuss their film The Mummy, while Zac Efron talks about the big-screen revival of Baywatch.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Countryfile Spring Diaries (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 Rip Off Britain: Food (S,HD). 11.45 Close Calls: On Camera (R,S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News at One; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 !mpossible (S,HD). 3.00 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 3.45 Yes Chef (S,HD). 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (R,S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

THE SECRET LIFE OF THE LONG-HAUL FLIGHT 9pm, Channel 5

BBC2

6.30 Rip Off Britain: Food (R,S,HD). 7.15 Yes Chef (R,S,HD). 8.00 Sign Zone: The World According to Kids (R,S). 9.00 Victoria Derbyshire (S,HD). 11.00 BBC Newsroom Live (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S,HD). 1.00 Two Tribes (R,S,HD). 1.30 Family Finders (R,S,HD). 2.15 Red Rock (R,S,HD). 3.00 Hairy Bikers’ Best of British (R,S,HD). 3.45 Elephant Diaries (R,S). 4.15 The Tea Trail with Simon Reeve (R,S,HD). 5.15 Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD).

POSH PAWN 8pm, Channel 4

James Constantinou gets stopped in his tracks test driving a £30,000 Radical racing car, memorabilia expert Lawrence Pickett deals with an intriguing enquiry about a piece of pop art, while handbag expert Claudia Valentin is moved to tears by a client with an emotional story.

Documentary following one of the longest flights in the world – from London to Sydney – aboard one of the biggest planes in the world, the double-decker Airbus A380.

ITV

6.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). News, current affairs and lifestyle features. 8.30 Lorraine (S,HD). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S,HD). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). Topical debate from a female perspective. 1.00 ITV Lunchtime News (S). 1.25 Regional News (S). 1.30 ITV Racing Live: The Oaks (S,HD). Coverage of day one of the Investec Oaks at Epsom. 5.00 The Chase (S,HD). Quiz show, hosted by Bradley Walsh.

Channel 4

6.45 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 8.35 Frasier (R,S). 10.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (R,S). 11.00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary (S,HD). 12.05 Couples Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R,S,HD). 2.10 Countdown (S,HD). 3.00 Fifteen To One (S,HD). 4.00 Coast vs Country (S,HD). 5.00 Four in a Bed (S,HD). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! (HD). 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.15 The Hotel Inspector Returns (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.20 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.20 Film: Justice for Natalee Holloway (S,HD) (2011). Drama sequel, starring Tracy Pollan. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

Gogglebox, 9pm

The Gadget Show, 7pm

▼

6.00 BBC News at Six; Weather 6.30 Regional News (S). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast (S,HD). By the Liberal Democrats.

6.00 Debatable (S,HD). 33/33. With Grace Dent, Dan Walker and Jennie Bond. Last in the series. 6.45 Celebrity Eggheads (S,HD). 22/22.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 Party Election Broadcast (S,HD). By the Liberal Democrats. 6.30 ITV News (S); Weather.

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 8/22. Homer tackles a biker gang. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Goldie gets her job back at the salon.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). 6.30 5 News Tonight (S,HD). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast: The Liberal Democrats By the Liberal Democrats.

▼

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). From Cardiff, as the city prepares to host the UEFA Champions League final. Followed by Regional News.

7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 25/45. The two remaining Scotland chefs compete.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Marlon makes a decision. 7.30 Britain’s Got Talent (S,HD). 16/18. Ant and Dec host the last of this year’s semi-final.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S,HD). 7.55 Party Election Broadcast (S,HD). Political broadcast.

7.00 The Gadget Show (S,HD). Georgie Barrat sees how well technology has served Monkey Tree FC. Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Mick is out to impress as the Carters have a meeting with Fi. 8.30 Question Time Leaders’ Special (S,HD). Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn face audience questions in York.

8.00 Gardeners’ World (S,HD). 11/31. Monty Don gives advice on herbs that will grow happily in shade, and visits Chatsworth House to learn about the history of its extensive grounds and gardens. Including Weather.

8.00 Posh Pawn (S,HD). See Choices Above.

8.00 The Great Fire: A City Rebuilt (S,HD). The final episode follows the last day of the great fire’s rampage through the city of London and the after-effects that changed the capital city for ever. Last in the series. Followed by 5 News Update.

9.00 Gogglebox (S,HD). Capturing the households’ instant reactions to what they are watching on TV from the comfort of their own sofas.

9.00 The Secret Life of the LongHaul Flight (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Coronation Street (S,HD). See Choices Above. 9.30 Britain’s Got Talent Results (S,HD). 17/18. Ant and Dec reveal the performers who have made the final.

10.00 BBC News at Ten (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). Followed by Regional Programme. 10.35 The Graham Norton Show (S,HD). 9/13. See Choices Above.

10.00 Have I Got News for You (S,HD). 7/9. Victoria Coren Mitchell hosts, with guest Adam Boulton and Richard Coles. 10.30 Election Spy (S). A comic look behind the scenes at the political parties. 10.35 Newsnight (S,HD).

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S); Weather. 10.45 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.55 The Keith and Paddy Picture Show (R,S,HD). 4/5. Keith Lemon and Paddy McGuinness present their version of Jaws.

10.00 The Last Leg (S,HD). See Choices Above.

10.30 Hijacked: Terror in the Sky (S,HD). 1/4. New series. The taking of TWA flight 847 by armed Lebanese militia in June 1985. The terrorists hoped to secure the release of hundreds of Islamic prisoners detained in Israel.

11.25 Sliding Doors (S,HD) (1998). See Choices Above. ●●●

11.15 Weather (S,HD). 11.20 Later – with Jools Holland (S,HD). 8/8. Extended edition of the music programme. Last in the series.

11.25 Benidorm (R,S). 4/6. A conman mingles with the guests.

11.05 The Fake News Show (R,S,HD). Comedy panel show, hosted by Stephen Mangan. 11.40 8 Out of 10 Cats (S,HD). Jimmy Carr hosts the comedy panel show.

11.30 Criminals: Caught on Camera (R,S,HD). 4/5. The use of CCTV to help police catch reckless and dangerous drivers. 11.55 Access. Showbiz news and gossip.

1.00 Weather for the Week Ahead (S,HD). 1.05 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 Sign Zone: Rio Ferdinand: Being Mum and Dad (R,S). The former footballer meets families coping with bereavement. 1.20 Sign Zone: Doctor Who (R,S). Earth faces ruin at the hands of three warring nations, until an alien race offers to intervene. 2.05 This Is BBC Two (S,HD). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.25 Carl Froch: Sports Life Stories (R,S,HD). A profile of the former boxer, a four-time world super-middleweight champion. Last in the series. 1.20 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Storage Hoarders (R,S,HD). A man with a large collection of football programmes. 3.50 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

12.25 Sarah Millican – Home Bird Live (R,S,HD). 1.20 Film: Welcome to the Punch (S,HD) (2013). Crime thriller, starring James McAvoy and Mark Strong. ●●● 3.00 The Handmaid’s Tale (R,S). 4.05 Shipping Wars UK (R,S,HD). 4.45 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures (R,S,HD). 5.00 Fifteen To One (R,S,HD). 5.55 3rd Rock from the Sun (R,S).

12.00 SuperCasino (HD). Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Film: Spies Like Us (S,HD) (1985). Comedy, starring Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd. ●● 4.45 House Doctor (R,S). A selection of highlights. Last in the series. 5.10 Divine Designs (R,S). Church architecture during the 16th and 17th centuries. 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S). The work of an animal sanctuary.

▼

9.00 Versailles (S,HD). See Choices Above. Followed by Inside Versailles.

▼

Britain’s Got Talent, 7.30pm

▼

Debatable, 6pm

▼

6 7 8 9

EastEnders, 8pm

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

10 11 after

THE BEST IN BRISTOL We are Urban Tandoor, the pioneers of Indian food in Bristol.

Tel: 0117 929 9222 Email: info@urban-tandoor.com Urban Tandoor, 13 Small Street, Bristol BS1 1DE

Adam Hills, Josh Widdicombe and Alex Brooker are joined by Sue Perkins for a comic review of the past seven days, with a special focus on the General Election. The quartet offer their own unique insight into some of the most difficult and delicate issues in modern Britain.

A weary Louis XIV is offered an opportunity to change the course of his conflict with William of Orange, while Madame de Montespan suspects Madame Scarron has feelings for Louis.

FILM PICKS

THE LAST LEG 10pm, Channel 4

VERSAILLES 9pm, BBC2

SLIDING DOORS 11.25pm, BBC1

A London woman’s entire future hinges on a seemingly minor but pivotal moment. Comedy drama, starring Gwyneth Paltrow and John Hannah.

ITV2

Sky1

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 8.00 Monkey Life (R,S). 9.00 Attenborough at 90: Behind the Lens (R,S,HD). 10.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). A terrorist forces Callen and Sam to co-operate with him. 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 4.00 Haven (R,S,HD). 5.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

10.35 Darts Top 5 Moments (HD). 10.45 Darts Gold (HD). 11.00 Football’s Greatest Players (S,HD). 12.00 Darts Gold (S,HD). 12.30 Live Chinese Super League (HD). 2.35 Football Gold (HD). 3.00 Beneath the Black: A Journey Through New Zealand Rugby (HD). 4.00 Football’s Greatest Players (S,HD). 5.00 Darts Gold (S,HD).

IT FOLLOWS 10.55pm, Film4

After sleeping with her boyfriend for the first time, a teenager is stalked by an unseen, supernatural menace. Horror, starring Maika Monroe.

Alibi 7.00 Home Shopping. 7.10 Murdoch Mysteries. (T) 9.00 Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries. (T) 10.00 Castle. (T) 11.00 Sue Thomas: FBEye. (T) 12.00 New Tricks. (T) 3.00 Castle. (T) 4.00 Sue Thomas: FBEye. (T) 5.00 New Tricks. (T) 8.00 Quantico. (T) 9.00 Death in Paradise. (T) 10.00 Rebus. (T) 11.30 Murdoch Mysteries. (T) 1.30 Rebus. (T) 2.55 Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries. (T) 4.00 Home Shopping.

Hotel Inspector. (T) 8.00 Supernanny. (T) 9.00 One Born Every Minute. (T) 10.00 EastEnders. (T) 10.40 Film: Black Hawk Down (2001) 1.30 EastEnders. (T) 2.05 Resurrection. (T) 3.00 Home Shopping.

Yesterday

9.00 Coast. (T) 10.00 Antiques Roadshow. (T) 11.00 Raiders of the Lost Past. (T) 12.00 Battleplan. 1.00 Coast. (T) 2.00 A Tale of Two Sisters. (T) 3.00 Goodnight Sweetheart. (T) 3.40 Steptoe and Son. (T) 4.20 Open All Hours. (T) 5.00 Raiders of the Lost Past. (T) 6.00 Battleplan. 7.00 Coast. (T) 8.00 Who Do You Think You Are? (T) 9.00 Porridge: Inside 9.00 Storage Hunters UK. (T) 10.00 American Out. (T) 10.00 Blackadder Rides Again. (T) Pickers. (T) 12.00 Lizard Lick Towing. (T) 1.00 11.00 Coast. (T) 12.00 Battleplan. 1.00 Top Gear. (T) 3.00 Sin City Motors. 4.00 Steve Raiders of the Lost Past. (T) 2.00 Secrets of War. (T) 3.05 Teleshopping. Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge. 5.00 Top Gear. (T) 8.00 Cops UK: Bodycam Squad. 9.00 Dynamo: Magician Impossible. (T) 10.00 Mock the Week. (T) 12.00 Room 101. (T) 2.00 Alan Davies: As Yet Untitled. (T) 3.00 Lizard Lick 7.00 World News Today. (T) 7.00 Weather. (T) Towing. (T) 4.00 Home Shopping. 7.30 Sounds of the Eighties. (T) 8.00 The Good Old Days. (T) 8.50 Sounds of the Seventies. (T) 9.00 Top of the Pops: The Story of 1984. (T) 10.00 Top of the Pops 1984: Big 7.10 The Bill. (T) 8.00 Pie in the Sky. (T) 9.00 Hits. (T) 11.00 Arena: Loretta Lynn – Still a Mountain Girl. (T) 12.30 Top of the Pops: The Monarch of the Glen. 10.00 All Creatures Story of 1984. (T) 1.30 Top of the Pops 1984: Great and Small. (T) 11.00 The Bill. (T) 1.00 Last of the Summer Wine. (T) 1.40 Waiting for Big Hits. (T) 2.30 Arena: Loretta Lynn – Still a Mountain Girl. (T) 4.00 Close. God. (T) 2.20 Birds of a Feather. 3.00 Boon. 4.00 Monarch of the Glen. 5.00 All Creatures Great and Small. (T) 6.00 Waiting for God. (T) 6.40 Last of the Summer Wine. (T) 7.20 Keeping Up Appearances. (T) 8.00 New Tricks. 11.00 The Wackiest Ship in the Army. (1960) (T) 9.00 Life on Mars. 10.00 Silent Witness. (T) (T) 1.05 The Dark Crystal. (1982) (T) 2.55 Diary 12.10 The Bill. (T) 1.10 Birds of a Feather. of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days. (2012) (T) 4.45 1.50 Pie in the Sky. (T) 2.45 Boon. 3.35 Millions. (2004) Comedy drama, starring Alex Garden Hopping. 4.00 Home Shopping. Etel. (T) 6.40 Beautiful Creatures. (2013) (T) 9.00 Predestination. (2014) (T) 10.55 It Follows. (2014) (T) 1.00 Lovelace. (2013) (T) 2.55 Close. 8.40 As Time Goes By. (T) 9.20 dinnerladies. (T) 10.00 Last of the Summer Wine. (T) 12.00 Porridge. (T) 12.40 My Family. (T) 1.20 My Hero. (T) 2.00 Ever Decreasing Circles. (T) 2.40 dinnerladies. (T) 3.20 As Time Goes By. (T) 4.00 Last of the Summer Wine. (T) 6.00 My Family. (T) 7.00 Only Fools and Horses. (T) 9.00 Mrs Brown’s Boys. 9.40 The Royle Family at Christmas. (T) 10.20 The Royle Family. (T) 11.00 Bridget & Eamon. 12.10 Spaced. 1.20 Big Train. (T) 1.55 Monty Python’s Best Bits (Mostly). (T) 3.00 The Royle Family at Christmas. (T) 3.35 The Piglet Files.

Dave

BBC4

You’ve Been … 7pm

The Big Bang T… 8.30pm

Jamestown, 9pm

Live Darts, 7pm

6.30 Britain’s Got Talent Results (R,S,HD). 15/18. Two more finalists are revealed.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 10/24. Stuart asks Amy out on a date. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11/24.

6.00 Futurama (R,S). 12/16. Fry meets a mermaid. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 21/22.

6.00 Darts Gold (HD). 6.15 Darts Gold (HD). 6.30 Darts Gold (HD). 6.45 Darts Gold (HD).

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold and Famous (R,S). Celebrity lookalike clips, with Harry Hill.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Drama following a group of young people in Chester. 7.30 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 19/22.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 22/22. The dogs of Springfield assert their dominance. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 2/22.

7.00 Live World Cup of Darts (HD). Coverage of the second day of the doubles event.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1/24. Alan and Jake meet internet billionaire Walden Schmidt (Ashton Kutcher). 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 2/24.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 15/24. Sheldon and Amy take a train ride to the Napa Valley. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11/24. Sheldon and Amy spend their first night together.

8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1/24. 8.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 2/24. Phil and Claire embarrass Haley while dropping her off at college.

9.00 The Keith and Paddy Picture Show (R,S,HD). 4/5. Keith Lemon and Paddy McGuinness present their version of Jaws. 9.30 Family Guy at the Movies (R,S,HD). 16/16. Peter is inspired by the writing of Stephen King. 10.00 Britain’s Got More Talent (S,HD). Stephen Mulhern hosts the companion show to the talent competition, going behind the scenes to uncover all the latest news, views and gossip from the programme.

9.00 Jamestown (S,HD). 5/8. Redwick sees a chance to stir up civil unrest when Yeardley is struck by illness, while Jocelyn realises she may have underestimated Temperance. 10.00 Tom Cruise: Reel Life (HD). Profile of the actor.

11.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Modern Family 11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). (R,S,HD). 16/24. Amy is (R,S,HD). 17/22. 8/21. Peter discovers his furious with Sheldon for 11.30 Modern Family feminine side. sharing intimate details (R,S,HD). 18/22. Mitch 11.30 Family Guy (R,S,HD). of their relationship. and Cam race to catch a 1/21. Lois inherits a 11.55 The Big Bang Theory flight. fortune. (R,S,HD). 17/24.

RADIO

12.00 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.30 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 1.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.30 Release the Hounds: Famous & Freaked (R,S,HD). 2.20 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.20 Tattoo Fixers (R,S,HD). 1.25 Tattoo Fixers (R,S,HD). 2.30 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 3.20 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 4.10 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 4.35 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.55 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 5.15 Melissa & Joey (R,S,HD).

Radio 1 6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with Nick Grimshaw. 10.00 Clara Amfo. 12.45pm Newsbeat. 1.00 Scott Mills. 4.00 The Official Chart with Greg James. 5.45 Newsbeat. 6.00 Radio 1’s Dance Anthems with Greg James. 7.00 Danny Howard. 10.00 Pete Tong. 1.00am B.Traits. 4.00 Radio 1’s Essential Mix. Radio 2 5.00am Vanessa Feltz. 6.30 Sara Cox. 9.30 Fearne Cotton. Noon Jeremy Vine. 2.00 Steve Wright in the Afternoon. 5.00 Suzi Perry. 7.00 Tony Blackburn’s Golden Hour. 8.00 Friday Night Is Music Night. 10.00 Sounds of the 80s. Midnight Anneka Rice: The Happening. 2.00 Radio 2’s Funky Soul

12.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 12.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.00 A League of Their Own (R,HD). 2.00 The Blacklist (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Last Ship (R,S,HD). 4.00 Monkey Life (R,S). 4.30 Monkey Life (R,S). 5.00 The Dog Whisperer (R,S). 5.30 The Dog Whisperer (R,S).

Playlist. 3.00 Radio 2 Playlist: Today’s Top Hits. 4.00 Radio 2 Playlist: 21st Century Songs. Radio 3 6.30am Breakfast. 9.00 Essential Classics. Noon Composer of the Week: Clarke. 1.00 News. 1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert. 2.00 Afternoon on 3. 4.30 In Tune. 6.30 Composer of the Week: Clarke. 7.30 Radio 3 in Concert. 10.00 The Verb. 10.45 Hay Essays: How to Write a Book. 11.00 World on 3. 1.00am Through the Night. Radio 4 5.30am News Briefing. 5.43 Prayer for the Day. 5.45 Farming Today. 5.58 Tweet of the Day. 6.00 Today. 9.00 Desert Island Discs. 9.45 (LW) Daily

Service. 9.45 (FM) Book of the Week: Farewell to the Horse. 10.00 Woman’s Hour. 11.00 From Our Home Correspondent. 11.30 The Casebook of Max and Ivan. Noon News. 12.01 (LW) Shipping Forecast. 12.04 Home Front. 12.15 You and Yours. 1.00 The World at One. 2.00 The Archers. 2.15 Drama: Mr Reasonable. 3.00 Gardeners’ Question Time. 3.45 Short Works. 4.00 Last Word. 4.30 More or Less. 4.55 The Listening Project. 5.00 PM. 5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast. 5.57 (FM) Weather. 6.00 Six O’Clock News. 6.30 The News Quiz. 7.00 The Archers. Jill feels under attack 7.15 Front Row. With Kirsty Patricia Lang 7.45 Bindi Business. 8.00

Drama

Film4

GOLD

Really

6.00 Helicopter Heroes. (T) 7.00 Home Shopping. 8.00 Homes Under the Hammer. (T) 9.00 Escape to the Country. (T) 10.00 Wanted Down Under. 11.00 Animal SOS. 12.00 DIY SOS: The Big Build. (T) 1.00 Homes Under the Hammer. (T) 2.00 Escape to the Country. (T) 3.00 Wanted Down Under. 4.00 My Ghost Story. (T) 5.00 Ghost Adventures. (T) 6.00 Animal SOS. 7.00 Escape to the 11.00 British and Irish Lions Country. (T) 8.00 DIY SOS: The Big Build. (T) 9.00 Ghost Adventures. (T) Tour Preview (HD). A look ahead to the tour of 10.00 Most Haunted. 11.00 Paranormal Witness. (T) 12.00 New Zealand. Haunted Collector. (T) 1.00 The Dead Files. 2.00 Home Shopping. 4.00 Helicopter Heroes. (T) 5.35 Give a Dog a Home. 12.00 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 12.30 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 1.00 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 1.30 Spanish Football Gold (S,HD). 1.45 Spanish Football Gold (S,HD). 2.00 Darts Gold (S,HD). 2.30 Darts Gold (S,HD). 3.00 Darts Gold (HD). 3.15 Darts Gold (HD). Any Questions? From Ormiston Bolingbroke Academy in Cheshire 8.50 A Point of View. 9.00 Home Front Omnibus. Parts 31-35. By Katie Hims 10.00 The World Tonight. With James Coomarasamy 10.45 Book at Bedtime: F Scott Fitzgerald: The Lost Stories. Salute to Lucy and Elsie 11.00 Great Lives. Iain Lee chooses Andy Kaufman, star of hit sitcom Taxi 11.30 Life at LIPA. A profile of three female students at Liverpool’s Institute for Performing Arts. Last in the series 11.55 The Listening Project. Midnight News and Weather. 12.30 Book of the Week: Farewell to the Horse. 12.48 Shipping Forecast. 1.00 As BBC World Service. 5.20

6.10 Boston’s Finest. 7.00 My Dream Home. (T) 8.00 Four in a Bed. (T) 9.00 Road Cops. (T) 10.00 The Bill. (T) 11.00 Tipping Point. 1.00 The Hairy Bikers: Everyday Gourmets. (T) 3.00 Four in a Bed. (T) 4.00 CSI: NY. (T) 6.00 Tipping Point. 7.00 The Shipping Forecast. Radio 5 Live 5.00am Morning Reports. 5.15 Wake Up to Money. 6.00 5 Live Breakfast. 10.00 5 Live Daily with Emma Barnett. 1.00pm The Friday Sports Panel. 2.00 Kermode and Mayo’s Film Review. 4.00 5 Live Drive. 7.00 5 Live Sport. 10.00 Stephen Nolan. 1.00am Up All Night. Classic FM 6.00am More Music Breakfast. 9.00 John Suchet. 1.00pm Anne-Marie Minhall. 5.00 Classic FM Drive. 7.00 Smooth Classics at Seven. 8.00 The Full Works Concert. 10.00 Smooth Classics. 1.00am Katie Breathwick. 4.00 Jane Jones.

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Avon Cobblestone Co ltd Est.1990

Celebrating 27 Years In Business

Avon Cobblestone is a local family run company that has established itself as the leading installer of high quality pattern imprinted concrete in the South West. Your installation will be carried out by our trained professional, skilled specialist team to ensure you get a durable, weed free, stunning ďŹ nish to complement your home.

For a free no obligation survey Tel: 01454 633394 Email: contact@avoncobblestone.co.uk www.avoncobblestone.co.uk 66

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am will be Our friendly te help happy to

180 0117 9061 one or freeph

0800 0133122

Bi-Fold Doors Add the “WOW” factor to your home Bi-folding doors are unique in that they open with each door leaf folding/ concertinaing sideways and stack neatly against the wall – either to the left or right depending on your needs. Your local manufacturer and installer being the only company in the whole of the South West to hold four BRITISH KITEMARKS AND SECURED BY DESIGN

SHOWROOM Unit 6, Bridge Rd Ind Est, Bridge Rd, Kingswood, BS15 4TA | TEL 0117 9061180 / 01225 738606 FREEPHONE 0800 0133122 | OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm. Sat 9am - 1pm VISIT US ONLINE