In Loving Memory
Janet Goddard
Remembering Janet
A tribute from John, Jane, Jennifer and David readatJanet’sfuneral on 11th November 2022 in St James’s Church Riding Mill, Northumberland by former lay reader, Dorothy Dryden
Janet was a loving wife, mother and gran to eight well balanced boys. She was a rock across the generations. Her kind, gentle disposition belied a strength that held the family together as a unit of diverse personalities such that the whole was more than the sum of the parts. Her love of the children was unconditional, and she never judged them. She was a great listener, and her support gave them the confidence to make their own decisions and ways in the world. She built the nest and gave them all wings. Her warmth and wicked sense of humour always lifted spirits and ensured there were never angry words.
Beyond the family her warmth radiated out instantly to everyone she met, however briefly. Her impact on others was profound. Common themes can be found in the over 100 tributes the family have received.
‘She radiated a quiet sincerity in everything she did’
‘She was peaceful, gentle AND strong’
‘One of the kindest people persons that anyone would wish to know, manifest in her quiet and caring attitude towards others’
‘The most gentle soul I have ever met’
‘I felt her calm, her peace of mind and her kindness’
‘Her easy smile and gentle humour’
‘Her warmth and wisdom continues in your family’
‘She was charming, composed, very much her own woman and the perfect foil for John’s ebullience’
This reference to John is a good link to their lifelong learning journey together with Janet developing into a person with diverse, indeed eclectic interests in literature, drama, politics, the natural world. This personal journey is well reflected in the contrasting photos above. The journey revealed her strong liberal principles of fairness and justice for all.
But Janet never sought to impose these principles or judge others. Indeed, her insights were profoundly important in guiding the lives and activities of not only her immediate family but the many people, places and organisations she came into contact with - from Long Rigg, from Riding Mill especially St James’s church and the WI, from Newcastle University, from Tyne Rowing club, from the coastal village of Low Hauxley where Janet and John shared a weekend cottage and gained much peace from the hurly burly of life from the changing tides, weather and seasons and kindly neighbours.
So please mentally picture her impact as we follow a journey through her life
Going back, Janet and John met as teenagers in the over 18s club linked to St Mary’s Church, in Rickmansworth in Hertfordshire. It was love at first sight. John’s parents had moved to what the poet John Betjeman called Metroland beyond London’s green belt a year earlier and he continued to commute for an hour and half each way to his old school in Hammersmith in west London, dropping in surreptitiously on Janet on the way home.
Janet’s dad was man of strong principles and worked for the family firm as a decorator and part time undertaker. Her Mum was easy going and full of fun. Until her father died in the year Janet passed her 11+ she had lived with her younger sister Marilyn who suffered from cerebral palsy and was unable to communicate verbally. Janet’s early years were no doubt influenced by this. Their rented cottage on the high street was next to the funeral parlour and undertakers regularly changed in the
front room. Her widowed and loving Mum subsequently scrapped together a living as a cleaner which included the funeral parlour.
Janet and John’s courtship was challenging but bound them further together. Janet, having got top grades at O Level, spent too many evenings with John and failed to get a university place. John had offers from universities across the country but chose to commute to University College London to remain with Janet. Janet was offered a place at a teacher training college in Chichester but instead chose to work in London near UCL and subsequently to financially support them both whilst John was a postgraduate.
They were married in St Mary’s in 1966. They were the first couple to use the village hall for their reception with new curtains supplied by the Mothers Union a first for the church and repeated in Riding Mill by Jane and Jennifer who held their receptions in the Parish Hall. Today the family are delighted that one of Janet’s bridesmaids and lifetime friend from primary school, Margaret Holmes (and nicked named Chick by Janet after her maiden name of Muirhead which was close to moorhen) will say a few words about the fun they had together.
Janet and John broke the north south divide in London and rented a flat in Clapham for their first two years of married life whilst he was struggling with his PhD at LSE. By then Janet had succeeded in civil service exams to become a higher executive officer. When John got a lecturing post at LSE in 1968, they were able to buy a town house and move even further south to Crystal Palace near to other LSE colleagues.
Jane was born there. The young family were supported by Janet’s Mum who struggled across London during the three day week and power cuts. Jennifer was born two years later shortly followed by the job offer for John at Newcastle University and the move to Riding Mill. This was just in time for Jane to enter Broomhaugh primary school at the start of the autumn term as she was five. David was born after Janet spent six weeks in the Hexham hospital Nissan huts in the 1976 heatwave.
Over the next 10 years Janet contributed to building and supporting two families the offspring and the research group in urban and regional development studies that John established from scratch. Early members of the research team have fond members of her welcome at summer solstice garden parties for them and their families at Woodruff. Indeed, her very presence helped build ‘work families’ based on shared values wherever John went. As one tribute sent to John noted:
‘She was a rock around which your super active life seemed to revolve’ And another ‘Such a calming influence around you as we tried to run the University’
The contrast between the serenity at home and John’s work was often commented on by his colleagues.
This influence was shaped by a degree in History and English Literature with a foundation year in politics and philosophy. Janet’s career took off when David reached 12 and she won a place at Newcastle University as a full-time mature student. It was followed by 10 years as a history teacher contributing to the life of Bolden comprehensive school in a financially deprived but strong community on the border between Newcastle and Sunderland - and competing football clubs. So, Janet’s skills as a peacemaker were in much demand! After commuting three hours each day got too much, Janet used her lifetime experience as a part time special needs teacher in Prudhoe which was nearer to home. This enabled her to branch out to new hobbies, notably a Long Rigg residents’ reading group, Riding Mill bridge club and the Hexham U3A bird watching group
Janet’s degree also enabled her to combine formal learning with her understanding of people and advise John in everything he did outside of the family. Right up to the last she provided a profound foundation to his endeavours to reach out and influence the troubled world around through the organisations with which he worked, most notably civic
universities seeking to engage with their communities, Newcastle Cathedral Common Ground In Sacred Space project, St James’s church in Riding Mill and Tyne Rowing club in the West End of Newcastle.
Two versus of the hymn ‘Dear Lord and Father of Mankind’ capture the complementarities and ultimate symbiosis of Janet and John
For Janet
“In simple trust like theirs who heard, beside the Syrian sea, the gracious calling of the Lord, let us, like them, without a word rise up and follow thee”
For John
“Breathe through the heats of our desire, thy coolness and thy balm; let sense be dumb, let flesh retire; speak through the earthquake, wind and fire, O still small voice of calm”
This combination of spiritual depth and outreached arms of the cross used to symbolise the mission of St James’s church in the community in Riding Mill are an apt metaphor for Janet and John’s life together and its impact on everyone
Although she has died the family’s rock is still there and has not been washed away.
Memories of a Lifelong Friendship from Margaret
Holmes (aka ‘Chick)
Janet was my oldest, great, and lovely friend. We first met at Rickmansworth Primary School where a group of us girls used to play together at playtime. It was a good school, with a new and enthusiastic Headmaster. In our last year there he organised a trip to Switzerland for the class, which was very exciting for us. One thing I remember particularly about that trip was when I was sharing a room with Janet and we decided to have a midnight feast. When no one was looking we picked some cherries in the grounds of the hostel. Janet’s Mum had packed a bottle of Roses Lime Juice Cordial for her, so when everyone had gone to bed we got out our supplies, feeling very adventurous and daring and had our feast like they did in the comic papers we used to read.
We both went to the Church Youth club where Janet met John. Two other mutual friends, Patti and David also went there, and I’m sure they would have liked to have been here today. Still I know they will be watching on the video link, so hello to you both. We also went to Rickmansworth Grammar School, we were both in the same class and went around together. We were known collectively as “Chick and Peddle,” Chick being my nickname and Peddle being Janet’s maiden name.
Since then, hardly a year went by when we didn’t see each other at least once a year. After leaving school we both got married to chaps called John (not the same one, ho! ho!). I was a bridesmaid at Janet’s wedding and Janet and John came to mine. Later on we each had three lovely children. There were lots of family holidays, early on involving all ten of us, and usually involving boats, such as the big ten berth narrowboat that we hired. There were always lots of laughs, Janet had a very infectious laugh.
Later on, after the children had grown up I would come up to Riding Mill and Janet and I would go to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, sometimes with John as well. Then in the last few years Janet and John would drive down to Stratford to go to the theatre and stay overnight. The next morning they would drive back via Birmingham where I live and we would spend the morning together, and go out for lunch before they drove back. The last time they did this was in May this year, so I am glad to have seen Janet not too long ago.
There’s something very special about a friend you’ve known all your life. I will always remember her warmth, sense of humour and happy outlook on life. Janet was a strong woman. I can’t quite believe she has gone, and I will miss her very much, as I’m sure we all will. God bless you all.
Janet Personal reflections by Dorothy Dryden
I first met Janet and John in the 1990s when we came to this church, but it was only a chance conversation I had with Janet in the Parish Hall that led to us getting to know each other much better
Janet was telling me how John had just acquired a rowing/sculling boat to use on the sea when they were up at their cottage at Low Hauxley. I responded by mentioning that rowing was something I really fancied trying which stemmed from my days working in a college in Durham and watching all the rowers on the river.
I didn’t give the conversation much thought until we had an invitation to visit Hauxley and for me to go out in the boat with John. Since then, most summers when John and Janet have been at the cottage, Ray and I would have a day with them. John and I would go out in the boat and Ray and Janet with Jess our dog would walk along the beach. Later in the day we would all walk to the nature reserve and have a cup of tea before returning along the dunes to the cottage. As a result of my first row in the pouring rain I was hooked and joined Hexham rowing club and have been along there several times a week ever since, all thanks to a chat with Janet.
Even this year when Janet was not feeling at her best, she was in the water holding the boat while John and I got ourselves sorted out. She and Ray didn’t walk on the beach this year, but they sat on large stones watching us before we went in for lunch.
Not long after this the four of us walked from Riding Mill to Slaley one hot afternoon. By this time Janet was tiring more easily but with encouragement she kept on going and at the end of the walk we sat in our garden and had refreshments.
Despite being so unwell on another occasion when I visited her, Janet was her serene self. We chatted for quite some time and although she
was weary, she was happy for me to stay until John returned from rowing at Tyne.
The last time I saw Janet we were all in her garden together on a beautiful, mild, early autumn day, John made the coffee while we looked at photo albums and calendars of the family. Janet was so proud of them all and introduced us to her eight grandchildren through the photographs. On the day she died she and John were going to come up to Slaley to visit us so it was a great shock to receive the sad news from John that Janet had passed away that morning.
Janet was a strong person who had drive and energy; when she decided to do something, she was determined to succeed and this was demonstrated when despite having three children, she studied and went into teaching. I never did see a ruffled Janet; I saw her as a spiritual person who as her illness progressed was still bright, cheerful and always pleased to see us, she didn’t lose her sense of humour and was still interested in all we were doing. Janet had an inner radiance and in her company I could always feel a sense of peace, a tranquility that comes from a peace with God. As if she had committed all her cares and fears to God in prayer and was worried about them no more. Now when I think of Janet I can hear her voice, I see her cheerful smiling face, I, along with many people will miss her.
Short talk by Rev’d Diana Johnson on the reading from 1 Corinthians 13
There are great poems – some of which we treasure all our lives. In German literature, Schiller wrote one such great poem the Ode to Joy. Beethoven thought so much of it that he set it to music in his great Ninth Symphony. It’s sung as an anthem all over Europe. It’s appreciated all over the world. The passage that Jennifer read is great literature, too. Call it the Apostle Paul’s Ode to Love, if you like. The Bible has lots to say about love. We do much for love in our lives and never more so than when we have a family, as Janet and John have. Have. Because of love, someone ‘rises up’ and comes away. Because of love, Janet shared her life with John and in time, with others and others again. Because of love.
A great preacher recently and memorably pointed out, “There is a Power in Love.” Paul’s Ode to Love tells us that the sort of love Janet lived is strong. It is patient; it is kind. That love does not envy, does not boast, is not proud. Love does not dishonour others, is not self seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs. Such love as this does not delight in doing wrong but rejoices with the truth. For love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. There is a Power in Love. It’s a great poem of love that Jennifer read for us today on behalf of the whole family, out of love of Janet.
It’s also a reading that is much in favour at weddings, isn’t it? For good reason, of course. The family were a little unsure that it was a reading as equally suitable for the solemnity of today’s funeral. I’d like us to reflect on that reticence a moment. Paul’s letter to the Corinthians is read at weddings as a statement of what people hope: the hope that the marriage might develop as Paul so beautifully describes. For people know that there is a Power in Love. And people, at weddings, are hoping for that Power in the marriage. Quite right.
Today, we are looking back, we are giving thanks, in love. Thanks, that that hope of the beginning worked out through Janet’s and John’s lives right through to today. Thanks that the initial seed of hope grew and grew and brought forth such family as now are sitting here; drew close to so many friends; brought such memories; sparked such joy; nurtured so many gifts. There is a Power in Love.
And hope is ever, for Christians, alive. Hope for all of us, who put that hope in Jesus Christ. Hope of a greater life. Hope in the Resurrection. Hope that we shall be at one, with Jesus Christ, in the fulness of eternal life. In the love of God. For there is a Power in Love.
Thank you, John and the whole family, for choosing that reading.
Amen