David Atlanta Vol. 17 Issue 30

7.23.14 V.17 I.30

Garden Party Giving:

BACKPACK

IN THE PARK What Delights

BenDeLaCreme?

Granny Rock with

Tori Amos

7.23.14 V.17 I.30

24

8 A Note from the Editor 10 Obsessed, with Tony Gowell 14 Backpack in the Park 20 Tori Amos 24 BenDeLaCreme 30 Packin’ for the Packin’ 34 3 Shots 36 Seen@: TEN Atlanta 42 Seen@: Club Rush 46 Seen@: Friends on Ponce 48 Datebook 50 the Scene 52 Bartab 54 Crossword 56 Fairyscopes 58 Favorite Bitch 60 Bitch Session

David Thompson Publisher david@davidatlanta.com

Jonathan Bugg Editorial Director jonathan@davidatlanta.com

William Duffee-Braun Director of Sales and Development william@davidatlanta.com

Joe Ragsdale Art Director ragsdale@davidatlanta.com

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Steve Tyrrell steve@davidatlanta.com Russ Youngblood russ@davidatlanta.com

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The content of this Publication is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice. The opinions expressed by any writer, advertiser, or other person appearing in the Magazine are not necessarily those of the Publication, its management or staff. The information and materials appearing in the Magazine are not guaranteed or warranted as to accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness, or suitability of the information and materials found or offered for a particular purpose. It shall be your responsibility to ensure that any products, services, or information available through this Publication meets your specific requirements. The Publication is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, content of information, changes, events, and schedules. The Magazine contains information and material which is owned by or licensed to the Publication, including but not limited to articles, advertisement, design, layout, graphics, and logos. No part or portion of this Publication may be reproduced in any way without the prior written consent of the Publisher. Unauthorized use of this Publication may give rise to claims for damages and or criminal offenses. Your use of the information or materials in the Publication is strictly at your own risk.

6 // 07.23.2014

A Note from the

Editor

Let Me Introduce Myself

I

am Jonathan Bugg, your new Editorial Director of David Atlanta. My background includes graphic arts & photography, a degree in music performance, and years of experience working with LGBT businesses & publications. Moreover, I am a native of Atlanta finally returning after a decade in Florida. It’s with a genuine sense of coming home that I look forward to exploring - along with you - all that The A has to offer.

The origins of David Magazine date back to 1968; that’s even before the Stonewall Riots catapulted the gay rights struggle into national headlines. The nascent publication was named in honor of Michelangelo’s statue of David. Becoming Editorial Director of this long-lived and prestigious media source is to be like an admiring sculptor gazing upon that masterwork, inspired to cleave and carve a unique creation. I have ideas and visions to share.

No masterpiece is created in isolation. This is not a oneman show. A world-class crew of craftsmen stands beside me. Creative Director Joe Ragsdale, Sales Director William Duffee-Braun, and Publisher David Thompson will continue to devote their enormous talents to molding the David Atlanta Magazine that serves this great southern city. Our skillful writers, columnists, and artists shall always bring you fresh perspectives and cutting edge interviews.

To our readers, this your David. I want to hear and learn from you. We crave your inspiration. The executives of this publication have entrusted me with the tools and creative staff dedicated to bringing you our unique view of A-Town. I am honored.

Each week, in print, at davidatlanta.com and through social media join us as we unveil your David Atlanta.

Jonathan Bugg

Editorial Director

8 // 07.23.2014

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batter, right? Wrong. The most cut men inevitably miss the ball every single time, or at best can’t get it out of the infield. All that beautiful muscle for nothing, all while more lithe spritely players are sailing it out to the outfield each and every time. So for him, masculinity is equated to athletic prowess not by how defined your muscles are.

For me personally, I’m always weirded out by hot built guys that as they get closer I realize that they’re wearing foundation or mascara. Are you kidding me? If you’re not on film or television, covering a nasty pimple before a presentation, or getting in drag....why wear makeup at all?? (Especially, when it’s the wrong shade for their skin or not blended well.) So yeah, owning a makeup kit or a wig and heels is not very masculine in my book, and way closer to feminine.

Those are examples of just three casually sought opinions. So, there are bound to be countless meanings of what is masculine or feminine to someone. What is important, is to just be upfront about what it is you all want from an online hookup. Instead of claiming you’re ‘only into masculine’ try this profile quote instead: “Only men freshly out of the closet, that have 15 different relevant and updated body and face pics, that still act like they did at the frat house, that are hot, with a great body, and have no inklings of turning into a sassy black woman, or that own dresses, but can play sports really well, and have a job, and a car, and a nice home, a really deep voice, some swagger, and is definitely a ‘top’ that has a nicely shaped penis that’s not too long or too wide, that’s DDF, and not reWhy is our community so obsessed with masculin- ally looking to commit for this one time only hook up opity? Most hook up profiles you see, have the two dread- portunity at my house cause I only host, and won’t ever ed words “MASCULINE ONLY” attached to them. I hate acknowledge that this happened in public...need apply.” those two words together because they just don’t mean the same thing to each person, and it’s maddening. Sounds like a masculine winner to me.

Are you the manly man I want?

For example, in discussing this exact topic with one of my cute cubby friends, it was decided that although I’m effeminate and speak with a higher pitched voice than most men, he doesn’t see me as effeminate but as someone that is actually masculine. By pressing him to explain further, we explored the idea that maybe he was mislabeling me as masculine instead of using a word like confident to describe me better. Because we should know that someone who is charismatic might be socially savvy or can maybe speak well in public, but that it doesn’t necessarily translate the exact same when dealing in perceptions of masculinity or femininity.

In looking at Webster’s definition of masculinity; it’s all appearance based. But, we as a gay community encompass the way a man walks and talks into that definition before we make the full determination. So where does it end for us?

My best friend made a very different example of what masculinity means to him, as it relates to softball. Each season many new softball players...that happen to enjoy hundreds of hours in the gym...will step up to the plate to take a swing at the ball.

Because they’re new, outfielders will make that “beginning of the season” mistake of backing all the way up to the fence.

Because everyone with bulging arms must be an amazing 10 // 07.23.2014

i

Tony Gowell is a bi-weekly columnist, exclusively writing for David Atlanta. Contact him at obsessed@davidatlanta.com with your latest obsessions. If you’re half way interesting, he might write about it, and if he doesn’t…better luck next time!

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THANK YOU! 2014 had another great Main Event!

Looking forward to seeing everyone for the 28th Anniversary Main Event in 2015!

:community

No Kidding Around

Backpack in the Park photos: Dan Lax

At nine years old, kids know what it means to be different. To look different. To dress differently.

For many Atlanta nine-year-olds from struggling families, starting the school year brings a level of anxiety that kids from most “normal” families can’t imagine. Having a new backpack can make a difference and give these kids confidence to plunge into the new school year.

That’s exactly what For the Kid in All of Us aims to do as they present their ninth annual Backpack in the Park on Sunday July 27 from noon - 3:30 p.m. at The Cator Woolford Gardens at The Frazer Center (1815 S. Ponce De Leon Ave.).

“There will always be a need for community support,” said Brian Isbell, president of For the Kid in All of Us. “This year is no different.

We’re determined to meet the needs of our beneficiaries — and hopefully exceed them. Our goal is to collect at least 3,000 backpacks filled with school supplies to help local students start the new school year on the right foot.”

For the Kid in All of Us seeks to top last year’s record, when 2,800 backpacks and gift cards were collected. This garden party event includes a complimentary brunch buffet from Zest Atlanta and beverages sponsored by Diageo and Smirnoff. There will also be live entertainment as well as a silent auction. In addition, various beneficiaries will be there to speak about the positive impact of these back-to-school donations.

To attend, supporters are asked to purchase a ticket by donating a “virtual” backpack ($30) online at www.forthekid.org or sign up to become a VIP donor, which will allow entrance to Backpack in the Park and additional member benefits throughout the year.

14 // 07.23.2014

Backpack in the Park Returns to Help Kids in Need

By Jesse A. Hancock

davidatlanta.com // 15

Guests can also purchase tickets/virtual backpacks at the door for $40.

Isbell said one thing about this event that makes his most proud is “the smiles on the kids’ faces when we deliver these backpacks. When these kids receive their new backpacks, their faces light up and they instantly walk a little taller and prouder.”

Mindy Nissenberg, chair of Backpack in the Park, said that in addition to giving Georgia’s most vulnerable students much-needed tools for success, each donation provides benefits that extend far beyond the classroom.

“You donate $30 and a kid gets a backpack — but that’s not where the story ends,” said Nissenberg. “To the children we serve, these backpacks represent much more: confidence, self-esteem, a more level playing field, plus the feeling that they are loved.”

Backpack in the Park’s popular Corporate Backpack Challenge also returns this year. “We’re working toward our goal by collecting through the Corporate Backpack Challenge, involving some of Atlanta’s largest and most socially responsible companies,” said Isbell. “Corporate teams can begin collecting backpacks now in anticipation of Backpack in the Park.”

Unlike The Toy Party, which For the Kid in All of Us also presents during the holiday season, there is a different financial challenge with Backpack in the Park.

“During the holiday season most [people] are in the giving mood,” said Isbell. “However, July is a bit more of a challenge because most of us are thinking about the next vacation or pool party. The reality is that the first day of school is quickly approaching, and without the help of our community many students will start school ill-prepared.”

For more information or to purchase your virtual backpack, go to www.forthekid.org.

The Beneficiaries This year, Backpack in the Park will benefit 13 local nonprofit organizations: • AGAPE Youth & Family Center • AID Atlanta • Atlanta City Schools – South Region • Childkind, Inc. • CHRIS Kids • Devereux Georgia • East Lake Foundation • Families First • FCS Urban Ministries • Jerusalem House • Lutheran Services of Georgia • Malachi’s Storehouse • SafePath Children’s Advocacy Center

16 // 07.23.2014

davidatlanta.com // 17

H

ello! My name is Rev. Rick Sosbe and I’m thrilled to be the new permanent pastor of MCC of Our Redeemer (MCCOR). This is the first time MCCOR has had a full time pastor! Just to give you a bit of information about me: I was born in Kokomo, Indiana where I was raised with my two older sisters.

I knew from my earliest childhood recollection that I was gay but felt it was something I shouldn’t talk about. I moved to Florida in 1990 to attend college where I received my BA in Church Ministries and a minor in Music. Upon graduation from college I was ordained in the Assemblies of God where I served as Associate Pastor/Minister of Music and then Senior Pastor. Once coming to terms with my sexuality and realizing that being gay was exactly how God created me, I left the Assemblies of God and discovered Metropolitan Community Churches. I remember my first time attending an MCC and felt I had finally “come home.”

SPONSORED EDITORIAL Soon after finding MCC, I was asked to serve as Interim Pastor at Rainbow Promise MCC in Lakeland Florida where I began the process of transferring my ordination to Metropolitan Community Churches.

I have served our Florida MCC churches in Sarasota, Pensacola and founded our MCC in Naples, Florida.

My spouse Michael Rhen and I are very excited to be here in Augusta and we look forward to working with the church and the community at large! Michael and I have been together 6 ½ years and are the proud parents of Polly, a 4-year-old Jack Russell Terrier whom we recently adopted from a rescue organization.

Whether you’ve never attended MCCOR or it’s been a while, I’d like to extend an invitation for you to join us. Services are held every Sunday morning at 11AM.

Planning for Augusta Pride 2015 is already underway!

Help support Augusta Pride by being a VIP Sponsor. For $120, or $10 for 12 months, you can support our year-round efforts and gain access to our annual President’s Soiree, Festival lineup meet and greet, and more. Simply enter the level of support you would like to provide for Pride and click recurring in the check box.

Thank you again for your generous support of Pride! We look forward to seeing you next year! #AugPride15

Go to prideaugusta.org/sponsors to become a sponsor today!

FUNDED IN PART BY A GRANT FROM THE CITY OF AUGUSTA AND THE AUGUSTA CONVENTION AND VISITORS BUREAU 18 // 07.23.2014

davidatlanta.com // 19

:music

Timeless

TORI Songstress talks gay fan affinity, the Disney song she inspired and still rocking at 50

By Chris Azzopardi

“Lighting, sweetie, lighting!” is Tori Amos’ theatrical retort to my compliment about how she’s still looking as radiant as she did at the launch of her career just over three decades ago.

Amos is now 50, and with her 14th album, Unrepentant Geraldines, she’s facing age head-on. Candor isn’t unusual for the composer; from rape to religion and even her MILF status, she’s approached a bevy of topics too controversial for most artists.

That same directness extended to our recent conversation, during which Amos chatted about the LGBT influence on “Promise,” a duet with her daughter; being the muse for the big Frozen ballad, “Let It Go”; and the gay fans who share their “traumatic experiences” with her.

David Atlanta: How did your last several projects – Midwinter Graces, Night of Hunters and Gold Dust – reenergize the contemporary songwriting heard on Unrepentant Geraldines?

Tori Amos: All of them fit into giving me fresh perspective.

Starting with Midwinter Graces, I was thrown into the deep end, studying carols from the last few hundred years and just immersing myself in a different genre. It’s almost as if it became a baton hand-off, from Midwinter Graces to Night of Hunters and Gold Dust, back and forth with The Light Princess (a musical written by Amos), which was floating between all these projects, because she’s been in development for five years. All of them were giving inspiration to the other. Each one was giving some kind of spark.

DA: What do you think people expect from you at this point in your career? Do you keep tabs on that?

photo: Mercury Classics 20 // 07.23.2014

TA: No, because you can’t keep tabs on that. You have to stay true to the muses, and you have to push yourself. I think to be a visionary means you have to keep pushing yourself, and you don’t even know sometimes in which direction you’re pushing. How can you and I know? You don’t know what book you’re gonna write in two years’ time. You don’t know what you’re gonna write,

but you trust that you’re committed to making exciting art, and DA: There’s a line on one of the new songs, “Promthat is your priority. Your priority cannot be success. Your priority ise,” that you share with your daughter Tash: “Promhas to be greatness. ise not to judge / Judge who you love.” Was that written with the gay community in mind?

DA: I’d like to talk about how you’re 50 but look 35.

How much pressure do you put on your looks?

TA: Yeah, she and I talked a lot about that. We talked a lot about her friends who are gay and having issues being accepted withTA: Well, first, thank you for saying that. I have had really great in their family structure. We were talking about the difference people around me. Kevyn Aucoin – he was part of the gay com- between what somebody has to go through when they’re not munity (Aucoin died in 2002) – was talking to me years ago about supported by their family, and why does this have to happen? skincare. This was well over 15 years ago, and so I am very dis- If a parent really has unconditional love, that _has to_ mean ciplined. Also, my husband has kidnapped me on and off for the unconditional love. It was something thereby we were realizing last 15, 16 years, so I don’t get to see the sun much. And it rains with each other – and she was teaching me! You know, as she all the time in England! I’m very disciplined, if I’m honest with does so much. Because it’s about sharing. It’s not about, “I’m you. I really watch what I eat too – except I did have two pieces of the parent so I know.” No – I’m the parent and I can learn as pizza today! I feel like, “Oh my god, it was my cheat day.” well. So we were saying how there aren’t a lot of relationships that are unconditional, where you say “I love you, not because DA: You’re allowed maybe one cheat day a week. of this or that.” We were talking about that with friends, peers groups, teenagers – it can be quite something. So, we did talk TA: But that’s all we get. Those French women, man… about the idea of being gay. Tash and I have been talking about that for years because we have gay and lesbian people in our DA: They eat? crew.

TA: Yeah, but only meals. They don’t graze. They just have their DA: When we chatted a few years back you told me meals.

Tash said to you, “Mom, I’m not a lesbian. Black guys are hot.”

DA: To many people in the gay community, you’ve been a source of strength – a lifeline, even. What par- TA: Yeah, she thinks black guys are hot. That’s what she said: allels do you draw between you and the gay commu- “Black guys are hot.” All the gay men (on our crew) were saynity? How do you explain this affinity? ing, “Right on, Tash.” But I think “Promise” is really about, Can we listen to each other even though we think we know the anTA: Well, I write a lot about emotions and things that I might not swer for ourselves? When do we realize what’s right for me is say or be able to say to somebody directly. In a song, though, I’m not right for anybody else but me? And when do I not need to able to talk about things that I’m not able to talk about in linear think that I know what’s right for you? My god, the arrogance in terms, just because they’re too personal. I do think a lot of my that! So we were beginning to really turn over stones based on friends in the gay community keep some of their feelings very what kind of promises we wanted to make to each other. private and they protect them, so therefore music and art is a way to express those feelings.

DA: Musically speaking, you’re known for eliciting some pretty intense emotions. What’s a song of I’ve always been fascinated by the stories that I’m told. I am told a yours that still makes you cry? lot of stories and written a lot of letters from the gay community, from females as well as males. It shocks me sometimes some TA: The truth is, it depends on the mood. And sometimes it of the traumatic experiences (I hear about) – the abusive situa- depends on if somebody’s asked me to play something and tions that some of the gay guys have told me that they’ve been they’ve told me their story – then I hear it in a completely differthrough, being taken advantage of and getting involved in over ent way. I see it from their perspective, and I hear the song for their head, if you see what I’m saying. Not realizing what they’re the first time even though I’ve played it hundreds of times, and getting involved in, thinking that they’re being appreciated for that’s the exchange. who they are and in reality they’re kind of being groomed for god knows what situation. I’ve heard quite a bit of these stories from DA: At this point in your career, are you able to reyoung men. Then they’re quite shattered and have to go through flect on what you’d call your best work? the shame of what they’ve been through. They have to find their spirituality and their sexuality and a balance in that, they have to TA: No, I can’t. I’m too close to it. I have no objectivity. Run into find how to integrate those two and how to forgive the self. How me in 20 years when I’m doing my granny rock… to forgive the self for getting involved in a situation that they didn’t realize would be perverse – perverse to their soul. Some people DA: Granny rock – how exciting! don’t realize that they’re getting involved in situations whereby they’re not loved at all; they’re just desired and manipulated. I get There’s even more from the fabulous Tori. For the full a lot of letters about young men coming to a big city and having to interview check out davidatlanta.com. realize how to protect themselves, how to protect their soul, how to look after themselves.

but you trust that you’re committed to making exciting art, and DA: There’s a line on one of the new songs, “Promthat is your priority. Your priority cannot be success. Your priority ise,” that you share with your daughter Tash: “Promhas to be greatness. ise not to judge / Judge who you love.” Was that written with the gay community in mind?

DA: I’d like to talk about how you’re 50 but look 35.

How much pressure do you put on your looks?

TA: Yeah, she and I talked a lot about that. We talked a lot about her friends who are gay and having issues being accepted withTA: Well, first, thank you for saying that. I have had really great in their family structure. We were talking about the difference people around me. Kevyn Aucoin – he was part of the gay com- between what somebody has to go through when they’re not munity (Aucoin died in 2002) – was talking to me years ago about supported by their family, and why does this have to happen? skincare. This was well over 15 years ago, and so I am very dis- If a parent really has unconditional love, that _has to_ mean ciplined. Also, my husband has kidnapped me on and off for the unconditional love. It was something thereby we were realizing last 15, 16 years, so I don’t get to see the sun much. And it rains with each other – and she was teaching me! You know, as she all the time in England! I’m very disciplined, if I’m honest with does so much. Because it’s about sharing. It’s not about, “I’m you. I really watch what I eat too – except I did have two pieces of the parent so I know.” No – I’m the parent and I can learn as pizza today! I feel like, “Oh my god, it was my cheat day.” well. So we were saying how there aren’t a lot of relationships that are unconditional, where you say “I love you, not because DA: You’re allowed maybe one cheat day a week. of this or that.” We were talking about that with friends, peers groups, teenagers – it can be quite something. So, we did talk TA: But that’s all we get. Those French women, man… about the idea of being gay. Tash and I have been talking about that for years because we have gay and lesbian people in our DA: They eat? crew.

TA: Yeah, but only meals. They don’t graze. They just have their DA: When we chatted a few years back you told me meals.

Tash said to you, “Mom, I’m not a lesbian. Black guys are hot.”

DA: To many people in the gay community, you’ve been a source of strength – a lifeline, even. What par- TA: Yeah, she thinks black guys are hot. That’s what she said: allels do you draw between you and the gay commu- “Black guys are hot.” All the gay men (on our crew) were saynity? How do you explain this affinity? ing, “Right on, Tash.” But I think “Promise” is really about, Can we listen to each other even though we think we know the anTA: Well, I write a lot about emotions and things that I might not swer for ourselves? When do we realize what’s right for me is say or be able to say to somebody directly. In a song, though, I’m not right for anybody else but me? And when do I not need to able to talk about things that I’m not able to talk about in linear think that I know what’s right for you? My god, the arrogance in terms, just because they’re too personal. I do think a lot of my that! So we were beginning to really turn over stones based on friends in the gay community keep some of their feelings very what kind of promises we wanted to make to each other. private and they protect them, so therefore music and art is a way to express those feelings.

DA: Musically speaking, you’re known for eliciting some pretty intense emotions. What’s a song of I’ve always been fascinated by the stories that I’m told. I am told a yours that still makes you cry? lot of stories and written a lot of letters from the gay community, from females as well as males. It shocks me sometimes some TA: The truth is, it depends on the mood. And sometimes it of the traumatic experiences (I hear about) – the abusive situa- depends on if somebody’s asked me to play something and tions that some of the gay guys have told me that they’ve been they’ve told me their story – then I hear it in a completely differthrough, being taken advantage of and getting involved in over ent way. I see it from their perspective, and I hear the song for their head, if you see what I’m saying. Not realizing what they’re the first time even though I’ve played it hundreds of times, and getting involved in, thinking that they’re being appreciated for that’s the exchange. who they are and in reality they’re kind of being groomed for god knows what situation. I’ve heard quite a bit of these stories from DA: At this point in your career, are you able to reyoung men. Then they’re quite shattered and have to go through flect on what you’d call your best work? the shame of what they’ve been through. They have to find their spirituality and their sexuality and a balance in that, they have to TA: No, I can’t. I’m too close to it. I have no objectivity. Run into find how to integrate those two and how to forgive the self. How me in 20 years when I’m doing my granny rock… to forgive the self for getting involved in a situation that they didn’t realize would be perverse – perverse to their soul. Some people DA: Granny rock – how exciting! don’t realize that they’re getting involved in situations whereby they’re not loved at all; they’re just desired and manipulated. I get There’s even more from the fabulous Tori. For the full a lot of letters about young men coming to a big city and having to interview check out davidatlanta.com. realize how to protect themselves, how to protect their soul, how to look after themselves.

22 // 07.23.2014

:drag

BenDeL The Creme of the Crop Always Rises to the Top

BY JONATHAN BUGG

O

n Wednesday, July 30, RuPaul’s Drag Race season six cast member, BenDeLaCreme, will be performing her signature brand of entertainment at Jungle Atlanta. Known for her 50’s pin-up look, her optimism and charisma, she is sure to dazzle the crowd with her unique comedic burlesque performance. Last time BenDeLaCreme and I saw each other was when she headlined at a club in Tampa where I was living and working then. I was really excited that my first interview at David Atlanta was with BenDeLa(Creme if you’re nasty).

David Atlanta: Thank you so much for taking the time to chat with me.

How have you been?

24 // 07.23.2014

eLaCreme BenDeLaCreme: My schedule has been really nuts since RPDR, but I was able to take a week off to hang out in my hometown of Seattle which was soooo good. It was my first break since the show. But now it’s back to the grind, which also feels so good.

amazing how much thought and prep you put into each number. Where do you draw inspiration from?

BD: When I’m doing a number it’s important for me to be interested. I get bored with stuff pretty quick. My attention DA: Have you ever performed in Atlanta? strays easily. When I do something, I don’t want to just have one idea for six minutes. I want [the performance] to have new BD: No, I haven’t. I’m really looking forward to it. I’ve never ideas and be surprising. So that’s the kind of thing I like to do. even been to Atlanta...unless you count the airport?

DA: Where did you get started with the burlesque DA: You’ll love it. It’s a beautiful city and RuPaul aspect? and Lady Bunny cut their teeth down here is the early days.

BD: Well I’ve been involved with the burlesque world basically since I started performing. When I was 21 in Chicago and goBD: Oh that’s so great! I had no idea. I’m definitely excited ing to art school I started going into bars and entering drag about it. You know it’s always weird how the tastes of the competitions. crowds are different according to what city or region your in — like how different schools of drag that appeal to differ- DA: You also performed under a different name ent audiences. back then.

DA: Without giving away too much, what do you BD: Yes, I did! She was like a very angry “riot girl”; a very have in store for Atlanta as far as your show? different vibe from what I do now. I was going to art school and was frustrated because I wanted things to be more fun BD: Well, I definitely want to leave most of it as a surprise, but and stuff – which was frowned upon in the performance art people can definitely expect the glamor and entertainment that world. Then I got into the drag world and that was really fun they’ve come to expect from my shows. I love to make a crowd and entertaining, but I wanted people to get more out of my laugh and, of course, keep surprising them with new things. shows. Finally I stumbled upon the burlesque world and it But as far as details, I’m not going to give too much away. fit so well with what I wanted to do. Plus the scene at the time in Chicago was all about pushing boundaries and very DA: You do have a very particular brand of politically-minded. People were making art about society but drag that combines burlesque, funny in a sexy, fun and glittery way. So that’s when I kind of got and TOTALLY thought out! It’s hooked in to [burlesque]. The marriage of drag and burlesque just kind of speaks to me.

davidatlanta.com // 25

DA: Was the burlesque community very accepting the future. The show is called Terminally Delightful and it’s a of what you were bringing to the table? show I wrote which is kind of about the experience of going on RPDR as a drag character and the duality of having my boyBD: Oh yeah, absolutely. Honestly for so many years I wasn’t self exposed on TV. Terminally Delightful sold out and was even in the “drag” scene. I was performing at burlesque extended in May, so they’re bringing me back to NYC to do the events and venues. The audiences and other performers were show again in August. so supportive to the kind of stuff that I was interested in doing. It was like the perfect marriage.

DA: I’d love to see that show! You definitely do have that duality thing going on. Is it hard having DA: I know you’ve stated that you became close to your boy-self be exposed on RPDR and now be faAdore on the show, but is there anyone of the cast mous out of drag? that you did not get along with? I mean we all know about the Darienne Lake thing, but is there more to BD: I knew going into the show that that was going to happen. it than that?

I just had to jump in and commit. I don’t have the privacy out of drag that I used to have, but that’s all part of being on the BD: Well you know, so much of the show is about editing to show. I just had to decide that it was worth that sacrifice to create more of a storyline. There really wasn’t anyone I didn’t have the experience of being on the show. get along with. I mean they’re all really talented so it’s hard not to like them all simply for that fact alone.

DA: Any chance that we might see BenDeLaCreme on RuPaul’s All Stars this season?

DA: Do you run into the girls from your season a lot?

BD: They haven’t contacted me officially yet, but you never know. I’m not opposed to getting back on television, but it’s BD: Yeah! Actually me and Courtney see each other all the definitely live performance where my heart is. I love the feel time and have bonded even more since the show. We seem of being in a room with an audience and putting something to get booked in the same circles as well. She’s probably the positive out there. one I keep in touch with most frequently. But I see all the girls around [the country] you know like Bianca and Darienne. Get your tickets at jungleatl.com as this will most likely I saw Joslyn Fox recently too. So it’s great connecting with be a sold-out show. those people because we went through that crazy experience together.

DA: All the girls have contracts with riders on them for things like extra-large cheese pizza and beer for Alaska— BD: That’s hilarious! Alaska probably just takes only one bite of the pizza and then goes “Thaaank yewww” (imitating Alaska).

DA: What weird things do you have on your contract?

BD: I don’t even know anymore. We wrote that contract up so long ago. When I first started I didn’t really know what was normal or expected. I mean I was scared because I didn’t want to look amateurish if I didn’t have something on my rider and the other girls had tons of things. I was all stressed out because I didn’t know what the status quo was. So I think I just copied Jinkx Monsoon’s contract and riders. It’s just stuff like hummus and a bunch of shit I don’t need and rarely get anyways. If I were to rewrite my rider now, I would just put maybe a bottle of water, a paper towel and plenty of alcohol.

I’m pretty simple.

DA: What projects have you been doing lately? Do you get to to do regular gigs in Seattle anymore?

BD: No, I don’t really have any regular gigs in Seattle. I had a show in New York which I’m hoping to bring to other cities in 26 // 07.23.2014

1049 juniper st * atlanta 30309 404.875.6634 * joesonjuniper.com

! s r o i l a s l l a g n l i l ca

There’s a new menu in town at Joe’s, featuring: - Excitement!

- adventure!

- flavor!

- Value!

- innuendos!

lunch • dinner • blunch • late night

:leisure

Packin’ for the Packin’

B

By Joe Nathan

eing prepared for that spontaneous sexual situation is our responsibility, nay our privilege as a segment of society that has, for the most part, defined our own rules of conduct. However we’ve all been guilty of not carrying the proper accoutrements for no-strings (unless your into bondage) sex.

In this day and age of unlimited internet shopping resources, and eclectic local friendly retailers, we now have no excuse.

Step 3: The “Guilty Pleasures”

I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not like that. I’m talking about a fresh pair of Andrew Christian underwear, deodorant & hair product for the inevitable “walk of shame”, or as I like to call it “stride of pride.” If your really getting into being prepared with your trick bag, you could include other toiletries like Neutrogena grapefruit face cleansing wipes & lotion (I’m keen on clean).

Step 1: Find the perfect “Trick Bag” It should be fairly small, you don’t want to scare them with a giant suitcase of naughty (again, unless your into that). The “trick bag” should also have a lot of small pockets and pouches.

Keeping organized and knowing where to find everything is key.

There is very little worse than fumbling in the dark through a cluttered gym bag.

Step 2: Preparing for the “Main Event” This is pretty self explanatory. Your going to need lubrication and condoms (safety first). Wet wipes are always a self-explanatory great addition too.

I’ve found Pjur makes super lube and they even have their own brand of wipes! Plus you’ll maybe want to bring simple stuff like blindfolds & handcuffs…you know, simple things. Don’t be like me and forget your handcuff keys though. I had to learn that lesson the hard way…twice.

30 // 07.23.2014

Oh and definitely don’t forget to pack your toothbrush and tooth paste. Morning after mouths taste like a crime scene.

HELP MAKE US

NOW HIRING WRITERS, PHOTOGRAPHERS, AND INTERNS • PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE PREFERRED FOR WRITERS • PROFESSIONAL EQUIPMENT REQUIRED FOR PHOTOGRAPHERS • COLLEGE CREDIT AVAILABLE FOR INTERNSHIPS

Atlanta’s Longest Running and Only Weekly LGBT Magazine Send resume and work samples to: elijah@davidatlanta.com

davidatlanta.com // 31

:nightlife

3

Shots

with Malibu photos: Russ Youngblood

C

razy doesn’t even begin to describe the selfproclaimed “Courtney Love of BJ Roosters.”

As one of Atlanta’s favorite watering holes, BJ’s, located on Cheshire Bridge, is famous for it’s squadron of scrumptious go-go boys, friendly staff, and healthy (uh, strong) cocktails. The man behind the bottles at BJ’s is named Malibu. He puts the “lewd” back in “deluded” with his unique blend of mixology & madness.

What’s your favorite drink to make?

It’s the drink that includes my name, of course. So, that’s gotta be Malibu and Coke!

What’s the best part about tending bar at BJ Roosters?

The ability and encouragement to shock, awe, and entertain all at the same time. It’s no fun unless you can make someone laugh so hard their drink comes out their nose!

How often do you hook-up with a customer...or maybe an interviewer?

Do I look like that kind of girl? Oh, I do? In that case, whenever a willing victim sits at my bar. Gotta take it when you can get it. My shift is just about done. Are you ready to make some motion with Malibu?

Like he says, “Gotta take it when you can get it.”

34 // 07.23.2014

By Jonathan Bugg

Benefits include weight reduction & improved metabolic efficiency.

Hablamos Espa単ol

50% OFF REGULAR PRICE SESSION OF $85 FOR ALL NEW CLIENTS! DISCOUNT NON-COMBINEABLE, OFFER EXPIRES 08.31.2014.

www.InnerGardenSprings.com 678.751.6959 davidatlanta.com // 35

36 // 07.23.2014

davidatlanta.com // 37

proudly presents

RUGBY 101 at walker park ( 224

memorial terrace se) at

9 : 30 am

saturday, august 2 come in athletic attire and youre set no experience necessary. rugby takes players of all shapes and sizes

stay afterwards for match and bbq

then join us for our bingham send off party at the heretic from 10pm-3am $ 5 cover after 11pm

ATLANTA THE 44 th ANNUAL

PRIDE

FESTIVAL

OCT 11-12, 2014 PIEDMONT PARK ATLANTAPRIDE.ORG

42 // 07.23.2014

46 // 07.23.2014

Datebook ‘Sinister Wisdom Issue 93’ Release Party

Ben Gleib

Thursday, July 24 – Sunday, July 27 • 8p.m. • Laughing Skull Lounge (878 Peachtree Street) • laughingskulllounge.com Ben Gleib is a standup comedian, actor, and TV host, best known as a round table regular on the hit show Chelsea Lately, appearing on the show over 85 times. He is the voice of Marshall the Sloth in Ice Age - Continental Drift. ESQUIRE named him one of “Six comedians who could be comedy’s next big thing.”

Friday, July 25 • 7:309p.m. • Charis Books (1189 Euclid Ave NE) • charisbooksandmore. com Charis is thrilled to celebrate the release of Sinister Wisdom Issue 93: Southern Lesbian-Feminist Herstory 1968-1994. This issue includes many Charis and SONG community members and we will celebrate their contributions to our local and regional history with a panel discussion facilitated by Charis Books and More Co-Owner, Sara Look. Panelists include: Editor Rose Norman, SONG Co-Founder Pat Hussain, writers Lorraine Fontana, Gail Reeder, Lenny Lasater, Charlene Ball and more TBA. All are welcome to attend and share stories in celebration! Issues are on sale now at Charis for $12. This is a Charis Circle Founding the Future of Feminism Project. The suggested donation is $5.

This Week in Theaters Pecado Ink Presents: The 1st Annual VogueAtlanta

Hercules: Having endured his legendary twelve labors, Hercules, the Greek demigod, has his life as a sword-for-hire tested when the King of Thrace and his daughter seek his aid in defeating a tyrannical warlord.

Thursday, July 24 • 7p.m. • Fuse Arts Center (115 Martin Lucy: A woman, accidentally caught in a dark deal, turns the Luther King Drive SW) Pecado Ink Presents The 1st Annual VougeAtlanta Charity tables on her captors and transforms into a merciless warrior Fashion Show. This event will be held at the FUSE Arts Center evolved beyond human logic. in Atlanta, Georgia. This event provides local fashion designers and clothing lines a chance to show off their work while also promoting a good cause. All proceeds will go to the American Heart Association.

48 // 07.23.2014

professional directory

Helping You Sell Your House and Finding You a New Home

Jamie C. Arnold

REALTOR 速 Phone: 770.919.8825 ext. 406 Website: JamieArnoldRealty.com Email: Jamie@JamieArnoldRealty.com

Advertise your professional service here for as little as $50/week

Call 404.418.8901 x3 or email william@davidatlanta.com for rates & info davidatlanta.com // 49

theScene 1

10th & Piedmont 991 Piedmont Ave NE

14 Club Eros

27 Hobnob

40 Tripps

2

Amsterdam 502 Amsterdam Ave NE

15 Cowtippers

28 Joe's on Juniper

41 Urban Body Fitness

3

Atlanta Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

16 The Den

29 Jungle

42 Woof's

4

BJ Roosters 2043 Cheshire Bridge Rd

17 Einstein's

30 Las Margaritas

43 XS Ultra Lounge

5

Blake's 227 10th St NE

18 F.R.O.G.S

31 Manifest 4 U

6

Bliss 2284 Cheshire Bridge Rd

19 Felix's

32 Mixx

7

Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE

20 Flex Spa

33 The Model T

Le Buzz 585 Franklin Rd SE Marietta, GA

8

Brushstrokes 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

21 Friends

34 Oscar's

Lips Atlanta 3011 Buford Hwy NE

9

Brushstrokes Pleasures 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

22 G’s Midtown

35 Opus 1

Mary's 1287 Glenwood Ave SE

10 Bubbles Salon

23 Gravity Fitness

36 Roxx

My Sister's Room 1271 Glenwood Ave SE

11 Bulldogs

24 Henry’s

37 Sam's Hair Salon

Club Rush 2715 Buford Hwy NE

12 Burkhart's

25 Heretic

38 Southern Nights

Sister Louisa’s Church 466 Edgewood Ave SE

13 Campagnolo

26 The Hideaway

39 Ten Atlanta

Swinging Richard's 1400 Northside Dr NW

1579 Monroe Dr NE 893 Peachtree St NE 1492 Piedmont Ave NE 980 Piedmont Ave NE

2219 Faulkner Rd NE 1600 Piedmont Ave NE 2135 Liddell Dr NE 1077 Juniper St NE 931 Monroe Cir NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 76 4th St NW

1551 Piedmont Ave NE

1931 Piedmont Cir NE

1049 Juniper St NE

500 Amsterdam Ave NE

2115 Faulkner Rd NE

2425 Piedmont Rd NE

1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd

708 Spring St NW Not Shown: Cockpit 465 Boulevard SE

2103 Faulkner Rd NE 1492 Piedmont Ave NE 699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 219 10th St NE

1510 Piedmont Ave NE 1086 Alco St NE

2201 Faulkner Rd NE 132 10th St NE

1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd 2000 Cheshire Bridge Rd

2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1544 Piedmont Ave NE

2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd 990 Piedmont Ave NE

Bar/Cocktails

Retail

Dining

Billiards/Darts

Dancing

Dancers

Non-Smoking

Leather

Hair/Beauty

Fitness

Drag

Baths/Spa

50 // 07.23.2014

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Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

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Piedmont Park davidatlanta.com // 51

Bartab MONDAY

10TH & PIEDMONT Half Price Wine Bottles BLAKE’S Trivia at 10:30pm, Weekly guest hosts, $250 cash/prizes - LGBT Kickball Host Bar 8-10pm -1/2 priced Burgers all day BURKHART’S Blue Monday Karaoke with Darlene at 10PM EAGLE Music Videos with Scotty FELIX’S Free Pool FRIENDS Manic Mondays DJ opens - 2 pm G’S Half Price Wine Bottles HERETIC Jukebox drag with Knomie Moore HIDEAWAY $2.50 Domestic Beer JUNGLE Stars of the Century Show 11pm MODEL T Monday Night Madness Free Pool - 10pm - 2am OSCAR’S Service Industry Night with Eric SWINGING RICHARDS Hip-Hop Night, Sponsored by Hennessy 8:30pm

TUESDAY

10TH & PIEDMONT Shareable Experience BLAKE’S Open Mic Night with Belinda, Nate and Kyle 9:30 pm to ?

BURKHART’S DRAG-EOKE with Angelica D’Paige and Ruby Redd at 10PM CLUB RUSH “Tipsy Tuesday” 18 & up Open until 4am EAGLE Tuesdays w/ Tony FELIX’S Smirnoff Martini Night FRIENDS Let’s Make A Deal with Ken 6 pm G’S Industry Night HERETIC 2-Step Tuesday, dance till 11pm HIDEAWAY Trivia with Wil 9 pm LAS MARGARITAS Cuban Night - $12.95 All You Can Eat Cuban Buffet & $5 Mojitos MODEL T Wii Tuesday Afternoons 2pm 9pm $2.50 beer / $3.0 well vodka OSCAR’S Show Tune Tuesday with Chad8 pm SWINGING RICHARDS 1/2 Price cover

got an upcoming event? calendar@davidatlanta.com MODEL T Party with Elvis - 9 pm OSCAR’S Ruby Redd’s After Party - 10 pm SATURDAY

10TH & PIEDMONT Bellini Brunch BLAKE’S #thebritnthetit 1-9p - “Boys on Boxes” upstairs 12am to close - “Glitter Bomb” Drag 11pm - Shane V spins til close BLAKE’S Texas Hold em Poker 7pm BURKHART’S SYNERGY with Shawnna “Eye Candy” Host: Shawnna Brooks 11p Brooks and Monica Van Pelt at 11PM BURKHART’S DANCEFLOOR DIVAS CAMPAGNOLO Legendary Musician with Phoenix (RuPaul’s Drag Race s3) at Robert Ray on the piano 10pm-1am 11:30PM EAGLE DJ Dance Party EAGLE Balls Deep Karaoke w/ Mikey FELIX’S Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm FELIX’S Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm FRIENDS Free Pool and Cheap beer with DJ! FRIENDS Where Girls Who Like Girls Meet 2 pm - 6 pm Girls with Regina Simms 8-closing G’S All you care to eat brunch G’S Game Night with Mr. Brent Star HERETIC Varies: Club Night or 3 Legged HERETIC 3 Legged Cowboy Night 9pm Cowboy Night - 10pm HIDEAWAY Service Industry Night HIDEAWAY Open at 12:30pm! Saturday JUNGLE Sing for Your Life 8pm Night Party LAS MARGARITAS Dirty South Trivia JUNGLE Ruby’s Redd Light District 9pm; $5 Smirnoff & Cuervo Drinks. House Cash Club Night, Various Guest DJ’s Prizes & $5 Wings LIPS ATLANTA Glitz & Glamour Las Vegas LIPS ATLANTA Dinner with the Divas Style MODEL T Party Time with Michael - 9 pm MODEL T Texas Holdem Poker - 3 pm | OSCAR’S Twisted Thursday with Eric Party with the M&M Boiz - 9 pm SWINGING RICHARDS 2-4-1 VIP & Entry OSCAR’S DJ Christopher Kind TEN ATLANTA Decadence | A Night of SWINGING RICHARDS T-Shirt Review $10 Drinking and Debauchery w/ Wet UnderTEN ATLANTA Music & Videos by DJ Rob wear Contest at 11pm Reum 10pm SWINGING RICHARDS 2-4-1 VIP Room

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

10TH & PIEDMONT Bites & Bubbles 5:007:15; 1st Friday- Popstars, Last Friday – Swank BLAKE’S 5-9pm TGIF w/ Robin & Shae “Deadly Vixens” 11pm - Bill Berdeaux spins til 3 am BURKHART’S FEMME FATALE with Destiny Brooks and Justice Taylor at 11PM CAMPAGNOLO Live Piano by Gay Men’s Chorus member Daniel Guillaro 10pm-1am CLUB RUSH “Got Leche” Free entry until 11pm 18 & up - Open until 4am EAGLE DJ Dance Party FRIENDS Happy Time Friday Kelly & Ken 6 pm BLAKE’S “yoUVee” Glow-Go boys with HERETIC FUR Friday Neon 10p-1am - Rob Reum spins til 3 am HIDEAWAY Kick Back Fridays!

BURKHART’S HUMPDAY KARAOKE with JUNGLE Dinner and a Movie 7 pm; The Darlene at 10PM Other Show with Edie Cheezburger 9:30pm CAMPAGNOLO Any Bottle of Wine Half Off LIPS ATLANTA Glitz & Glamour Las Vegas EAGLE Underwear Night with Tony Style FRIENDS Hump Night with Regina Simms MODEL T Friday Bagels - 10 am | Texas G’S Karaoke with DJ Audio Prism Holdem Poker 8 pm HERETIC Pig Dance Black Out Party DJ OSCAR’S Music Video Night Stan Jackson 10pm-3am NO COVER SWINGING RICHARDS T-Shirt Review,$10 HIDEAWAY 1/2 Price Beer TEN ATLANTA Music & Videos by DJ JUNGLE Dragnificence 10pm Shane V / DJ Daryl Cox 10pm LIPS ATLANTA Bitchy Bingo

WEDNESDAY

52 // 07.23.2014

SUNDAY

10TH & PIEDMONT Bellini Brunch | Flashback Showgirls with Angelica D’Paige BLAKE’S Open at 1pm - Bloody Marys w Robin - Classic T w Bill Berdeaux “Cellblock Sunday” w Lateasha 8 pm BURKHART’S The Armorettes at 9PM CLUB RUSH Hip Hop and R&B - 18 & up Open until 4am FELIX’S Bloody Marys & Mimosas FRIENDS Open @ 2pm; Dinner @ 4pm while it lasts G’S All you care to eat brunch | Karaoke with DJ Audio Prism HIDEAWAY Atlanta’s Favorite Bloody Mary Bar! 12:30 pm LIPS ATLANTA Gospel Brunch w/ Bubba D. Licious LAS MARGARITAS Papi’s $17.95 Unlimited Brunch & Choice of Mimosas, Sangrias, Bloody Maria’s, & Mojitos MODEL T Sunday Dinner with Ron 3:30 pm OSCAR’S Sunday Fun-day TEN ATLANTA Brunch 11am & Music by DJ Rob Reum 4pm

davidatlanta.com // 53

Solution on pg. 67

I Hate Everyone... Starting with Me

Down

Across 1 Gladiator’s defense 6 I Hate Everyone... Starting with Me author Rivers 10 Puts the tongue between the cheeks 14 Port city north of Tel Aviv 15 River in Roehm’s country 16 Auth. unknown 17 Circuit party, e.g.

18 ___ ex machina 19 Adriatic seaport 20 Composer Gian Carlo hated by Rivers?

22 In a stall 24 Bi plus one 25 Author Herman hated by Rivers?

26 Get ready for a Broadway show 30 Dusk, to Dickinson 31 Cells for women only 32 Cola choice 34 Muscle Marys pump it 38 Singer Etheridge hated by Rivers?

54 // 07.23.2014

40 Singer Freddie hated by Rivers?

43 Mapa of Switched at Birth 44 ‘60s jacket style 46 Match a poker bet 47 Stalling sounds 50 Photo of a bare bottom?

52 Shakespearean character hated by Rivers?

56 Long in code 57 Aroused in bed 58 Songwriter Stephin hated

by Rivers?

62 Big beer buy 63 Top of the head 65 Singing Mann 66 Katharine’s Butch Cassidy role 67 “That was close!”

68 Nun influenced by St. Francis 69 Clothing closure 70 Years on end 71 Popular hero of Lorca’s land

1 Deep throat sound 2 Like a great review on Broadway 3 Deportment 4 Deserving attention 5 Dilapidated places 6 Knight protecting Princess Leia 7 “Stick that bull!”

8 Manhandle 9 Lesbian Herstory Archives co-founder Joan 10 Like Steven Greenberg 11 As a whole 12 Gourmet mushroom 13 Nastily derogatory 21 Rubbers on rims 23 Greeting to Maria 25 Month in Madrid 26 Caesar’s city 27 Stunt man Knievel 28 In the pink 29 Nine inches 33 Point of view intro, at Gay.com

35 Come too quickly 36 Bite it 37 Nikita’s no 39 Split stuff 41 Wash out 42 Emulate George Frenn 45 Alt-rock genre 48 Pirates’ drink 49 Plain in Nureyev’s country 51 Penetrating 52 Assaults with a spray 53 Tickle pink 54 Bob Marley, e.g.

55 My Own Private ___ _ 58 Output from small pussies 59 Apple that isn’t a fruit 60 Polo of The Fosters 61 Angry, with “off” 64 Caesar’s X

davidatlanta.com // 55

fairyscopes ARIES (March 20 – April 19):

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22):

You’ll brag to others today about all the action you’ve been getting lately. You’ll go into gory detail and leave nothing to the imagination. But they’ll look at you in skepticism, and wonder why your nose keeps getting longer and longer.

You’ll get good responses to ideas you pitch to your boss this week. So hit the social scene filled with the confidence of having such a positive week. But don’t expect to get a similar reaction from the guys you hit on around town, and be prepared to have more than one drink thrown in your face.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20):

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21):

You may find yourself attracted to a sexy new neighbor this week. That tingling sensation in your loins may be telling you that a romance could be in the offing. But asking him out could be risky, especially if you’re not sure which team he plays for.

Beware of persuasive people this week. They may strike when your will is weak and talk you into performing some unsavory acts. Unless, of course, you’re into role-playing where he’s the naughty king and you’re the naked serf.

Then you’re on your own.

GEMINI (May 21- June 20):

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 20):

Preaching about people’s fashion choices this week won’t get you anywhere. They’ll be loath to take your advice and you won’t understand why. But one glance in the mirror will tell you everything. So lose the pocket protector and suspenders before pointing out the fashion flaws of those around you.

Expect the unexpected. This week it could come in both positive and negative forms. You could win the lottery, get fired from your job or meet the man of your dreams. The latter will sound promising until you realize that he doesn’t speak your language and he’s wearing adult diapers.

CANCER (June 21- July 22):

CAPRICORN (December 21 – January 19):

Your energy flow will be reduced to a dribble at some time this week. A lack of sleep could be the culprit. So do your best to get through the week and stay off the Internet when you get home tonight. Staying in the gay chat rooms until the sun comes up could be the indicator of a deeper problem.

Like the twin giants Jupiter and Saturn, most of the men you’ll meet this week will be bloated and gassy. There won’t be anything wrong with that; they’re just not your type. But hang in there. There’s sure to be a Venus or Mars willing to orbit your sun, although at this point you’ll settle for Uranus.

LEO (July 23 – August 22):

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18):

You seem to have boundless energy this week. Or do you?

Pass on that fourth cup of coffee -- it may loosen your tongue enough to tell your coworkers all the sexy details about your latest conquest. That’ll be too much information for some of them, but others will want to hear even more ... and that’s just plain creepy.

A glimpse of heaven may lure you into a descent into hell.

Looks can be deceiving; an angel may be the devil in disguise. So keep your eyes wide open all week. There won’t be a ladder in the world tall enough to lead you out of the abyss you’ll so willingly fall into.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22):

PISCES (February 19 – March 19):

You may have to dive headfirst into the abyss if you want to find romance this week. Risks can be a good thing, but you’ll never know unless you try. So give your phone number to the cute guy at the coffee shop. And try not to look surprised when he asks what took you so long.

Luck will be on your side when you find yourself sitting on the bus next to the hottie you’ve been pining for. But luck can only go so far, and it’ll be up to you to take the next step.

Will you say hello or sit there tongue-tied and stammering?

Better decide soon because the next stop is his.

56 // 07.23.2014

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S

inners aren’t the only people reading my words of wisdom. They’re not the only ones around here getting themselves into decadently-dubious-dilemmas either. Looks like church folks also need a little helping hand every now and then! Now, I won’t be like every other queen and dyke running out to get their minister’s license, but I will bring folks to JESUS with some good ol’ fashion advice. This installment of Favorite Bitch is all about the Devil made them do it. And in the name of Miss Tiger, I rebuke these motha fuckah’s sins!

McNuggets. Meaning, if you’re exes don’t mind the double dipping .... then you bettah werk, bitch!

Dear Miss Tiger, I slept with my best friend. We used to talk every day but I haven’t heard from him in months. What should I do? What would you do? Hell, what would Jesus do?

-Andy

Dear Doin’ In Sets Of Two Like Noah’s Ark, Help ain’t what you need, hunty ... a visit to the health department seems more appropriate. NEXT!

Dear Miss Tiger, I’m a gay choir director. Nobody knows my business and I like it that way. I’ve been having sex with another guy who’s also closeted and attends my church. Last weekend, I went to a sauna and found him there servicing about a half dozen men.

I need some advice!

-Andre

Dear Miss Tiger, Young lady, I don’t agree with your scandalous advice. I’m Dear Get Dick From Grindr And NOT Your Best praying for you. Do you know that Jesus loves you?

Friend, -Wendy Jesus would tell ya that once you parted your ass like Moses and the Red Sea... that friendship was ovah like a bank teller’s Dear Shouldn’t You Be Reading Matthew, shift at 6:01. NEXT! Mark, Luke & John ... Instead Of Trolling My Motha Fuckin’ Column, Dear Miss Tiger, Hell yes, I’m aware that Jesus loves me ... and apparently you There’s a straight guy that I want. I think his being nice to me love me too or ya wouldn’t be hawking my column looking for is more about bi-curiosity and less about being a polite church a reason to be offended. NEXT! goer. Any advice?

-Rick Dear Miss Tiger, My fiancé is a gay Christian. He’s religious and comfortable Dear Giving Good Communion, with his sexual orientation. We’ve been having the best oral If Jesus can turn water into wine ... then you sure as hell can sex for months. Now he feels guilty because we didn’t wait do the same. NEXT! until after the marriage.

-Zack Dear Miss Tiger, I’m dating both of my ex-husbands and neither of them sus- Dear Looks Like No White Tuxes At That Wedding, pect. I’m thinking about coming clean, but I’m getting what Had your church-going-guy spent more time praying on his I need from both of them. At my age, I just want all of us to knees instead of deep throating on his knees, he wouldn’t get along and be happy. If I’m okay with it, then they should have a thing to feel guilty about, now would he? be too! I was raised in the church so sometimes I feel guilty.

Help!

-Donna Advice columnist • SiriusXM radio personality ...

Dear Donna Is Taking Applications, and everyone’s #FAVORITEBITCH Hunty, you are one step away from double penetration. Your Website: FavoriteBitch.com Facebook: /MissTiger situation reminds me of the McDonald’s customers who reAdvice : ask@misstiger.com quest both Barbecue and Honey Mustard sauces for their

Miss Tiger

58 // 07.23.2014

I Hate Everyone...

Starting with Me SOLUTION

davidatlanta.com // 59

Bitch SESSION SEND US YOUR BITCHES! Text 404.969.BTCH, tweet @BitchSessionATL or email bitch@davidatlanta.com *This page reflects the bitchiness of the community not David Atlanta or its publisher (although we’re bitchy too!)

Your bitch session posts scream jealousy.

Calm down gurl, put down the fork, get laid.

For all the people that talk about me thanks for making me the center of your world.

I love your posts, you look so rich. I hate it for your mailbox though, bursting with debt collection notices.

Life isn’t a garden so stop being a hoe at the botanical gardens.

60 // 07.23.2014

Why is it that our city’s most notorious whores are always the ones who come running with relationship advice?

Hold your head high gorgeous.

People would kill to see you fall.

Twinkle twinkle little slut, Shut your legs you filthy mutt...

I wish we could force the supreme court to remove all the hate chicken bill boards. Too bad we aren’t a corporation.

Here’s a condom, just thought since you were acting like a dick, you mind as well dress like one!!

Your such a slut you have had more fingers up you than a bowling ball would ever get.

Why isn’t a drag queen doing Britney’s Alien without the autotune?!?

That guy was a complete waste of a cute outfit.

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davidatlanta.com // 61